1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,779 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:20,220 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:24,057 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - KEVIN JAMES, 4 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:28,428 ILANA GLAZER CHEF JACQUEZ PEPIN AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:34,934 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1593 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:41,074 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:45,478 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:45,478 --> 00:01:02,328 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:06,366 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I APPRECIATE THAT. 10 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:09,102 WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE 11 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:13,573 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GUYS, IT SEEMS LIKE 12 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:18,411 THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON RIGHT NOW. SUPREME COURT JUSTICE 13 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:22,382 STEPHEN BREYER IS STEPPING DOWN EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT 14 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:29,522 "ENCANTO." A WINTER HURRICANE MIGHT BE HEADING TOWARD THE EAST COAST. 15 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:32,158 AND PIZZA HUT JUST RELEASED ITS SPICIEST PIZZA EVER. LET'S JUST JUMP IN AND COVER IT 16 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,960 ALL AT ONCE. IT'S TIME FOR "NEWSMASH. 17 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:42,002 * >> Jimmy: FIRST UP, JUSTICE BREYER, HE'S RETIRING 18 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:46,473 AFTER NEARLY 30 YEARS ON THE SUPREME COURT. DEMOCRATS ARE ALREADY TALKING 19 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:49,309 ABOUT WHO SHOULD REPLACE HIM BUT YOU KNOW WHO THEY'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT? 20 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:53,346 BRUNO. [ LAUGHTER ] "ENCANTO" IS HUGE RIGHT NOW. 21 00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:57,617 IT'S GOT AN AMAZING SOUND TRACK BY LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA. AND TWO OF THE SONGS ARE 22 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:01,654 CURRENTLY IN THE BILLBOARD TOP 10 THE MUSIC IS ROCKING EVERYONE 23 00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:05,291 LIKE A HURRICANE [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT 24 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,894 A BOMB CYCLONE WITH THE POWER OF A HURRICANE IS HEADED FOR THE NORTHEAST. 25 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,763 AND IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN PERSONAL BOMB CYCLONE, WHY NOT TRY PIZZA HUT'S NEW 26 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:18,405 SPICY LOVER'S PIZZA. IT'S THEIR SPICIEST PIZZA EVER WITH RED JALAPENOS AND CHILI 27 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:23,543 PEPPERS. IT WILL MESS YOU UP SO BAD YOU'LL HAVE TO RETIRE. 28 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,813 WHOEVER FILLS BREYER'S SEAT WILL BE STUCK IN THAT ROLE FOR YEARS TO COME. 29 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,749 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF THINGS GETTING STUCK FOR YEARS, THE "ENCANTO" 30 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:33,586 SOUND TRACK. WE'RE GOING TO BE SINGING THESE SONGS FOR A LONG TIME. 31 00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:37,190 IT'S BASICALLY THE NEW "FROZEN. [ LAUGHTER ] 32 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,259 SO TO PREPARE, PEOPLE ARE STOCKING UP ON WATER AND TOILET PAPER, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF THE 33 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:45,732 STORM, BECAUSE THEY JUST TRIED PIZZA HUT'S NEW SPICY'S LOVER'S PIZZA. 34 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:51,638 [ LAUGHTER ] IN CONCLUSION, TIME TO GO, LET IT SNOW, GET THAT DOUGH, "WE 35 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:57,677 DON'T TALK ABOUT BRUNO, NO, NO, NO." THIS HAS BEEN A "NEWSMASH. 36 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:57,711 NO." THIS HAS BEEN A "NEWSMASH. 37 00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:05,819 * >> Jimmy: WELL, AS I MENTIONED 38 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:09,122 THIS WEEKEND A GIANT WINTER STORM IS HEADING FOR THE EAST COAST. 39 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:14,794 BUT I SAW THIS ONE TWEET FROM NBC NEWS THAT WASN'T SUPER HELPFUL. 40 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:19,265 IT SAID NEW YORK CITY COULD SEE BETWEEN 2 INCHES AND 20 INCHES OF SHOW THIS WEEKEND 41 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,435 [ LAUGHTER ] OH, THANKS A LOT >> Steve: YEAH, NOW I KNOW 42 00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:24,537 >> Jimmy: PRETTY BIG RANGE RIGHT THERE. I DON'T KNOW WHO'S MAKING THESE 43 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:29,109 PREDICTIONS? THE CDC? [ LAUGHTER ] 44 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:33,613 "SIX FEET, THREE FEET, TEN DAYS, FIVE DAYS. WE DON'T KNOW. 45 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:37,751 YEAH SO, YOU'LL EITHER BE GOING TO WORK, OR YOU'LL BE BURIED INSIDE YOUR HOUSE. 46 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:41,755 SO, GET READY. SOME BUSINESS NEWS BUD LIGHT JUST ANNOUNCED 47 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:46,826 THEY'RE RELEASING BUD LIGHT NEXT, A ZERO CARB BEER THAT THEY SPENT NEARLY TEN YEARS 48 00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:51,297 TRYING TO MAKE TEN YEARS. WOW, SOMEHOW IT TOOK A FEW 49 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:55,135 MONTHS FOR THE PFIZER VACCINE, BUT TEN YEARS FOR BUD LIGHT NEXT 50 00:03:55,135 --> 00:04:00,707 [ LAUGHTER ] HERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS DELTA AIRLINES WILL SOON BRING 51 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:05,078 BACK HOT MEAL SERVICE ON ITS FLIGHTS. MEANWHILE, SPIRIT IS LIKE, 52 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,148 "THAT'S WHY WE PUT THE ENGINE IN THE CABIN, SO PEOPLE CAN HEAT UP WHATEVER THEY WANT." 53 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:13,053 [ LAUGHTER ] HEY GUYS, I READ THAT ELON MUSK TOOK HIS KIDS TO WALMART SO 54 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:17,090 THEY COULD SEE THE PANDEMIC TOILET PAPER SHORTAGE FIRST HAND 55 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:24,097 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] HIS KIDS WERE LIKE, "THIS IS CRAZY DAD. 56 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,701 WHY DON'T THEY JUST USE $100 BILLS LIKE WE DO? [ LAUGHTER ] 57 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:34,374 "LET'S GO HOME NOW." FINALLY, I HEARD BECAUSE OF STAFF SHORTAGES, THE GOVERNOR 58 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:40,380 OF NEW MEXICO HAD TO FILL IN AS A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER AT AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. 59 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,883 YEAH, IT'S PRETTY EFFECTIVE WHEN THE TEACHER SAYS, "BEHAVE OR I'M RAISING YOUR PARENTS' 60 00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,186 PROPERTY TAXES." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 61 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,221 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 62 00:04:53,593 --> 00:05:10,110 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 63 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,179 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, ROOTS WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. 64 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:18,752 HE STARS IN THE FUNNY NEW FILM "HOME TEAM," WHICH PREMIERES TOMORROW ON NETFLIX KEVIN JAMES 65 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:24,657 IS JOINING US! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE'S ALWAYS A DELIGHT. 66 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:30,063 PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HER IN THE NEW SERIES "THE AFTERPARTY," WHICH BEGINS STREAMING TOMORROW 67 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,833 ON APPLE TV PLUS, VERY FUNNY ILANA GLAZER IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 68 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:40,173 >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: I'M FREAKING OUT EVERYONE'S KIND OF BUZZING AND 69 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,343 FREAKING OUT HIS LATEST BOOK "ART OF THE CHICKEN" WILL BE RELEASED LATER 70 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:48,915 THIS FALL. WE ARE COOKING WITH LEGENDARY CHEF JACQUES PEPIN EVERYBODY 71 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:52,852 >> Steve: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: "ART OF THE CHICKEN. 72 00:05:52,852 --> 00:06:00,627 POULET OH, I WANT TO QUICKLY SAY, WE DID A SHOW DURING OUR BREAK 73 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:05,532 CALLED "THAT'S MY JAM" ON NBC, MONDAYS AT 9:00. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 74 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,702 THANKS EVERYONE WORKING ON THAT SHOW WE WERE OFF. 75 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:13,406 WE GOT TO DO THE SHOW, GREAT GUESTS IT WAS SUPER FUN, GIANT SHOW 76 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:17,677 AND IT HIT FOR NBC, SO WE'RE REALLY PSYCHED BUT WE MADE SIX EPISODES 77 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:22,282 AND THE LAST ONE AIRS MONDAY THIS COMING MONDAY BUT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT 78 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,451 SUNDAY >> Steve: RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE A SHOW 79 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,087 >> Jimmy: I DON'T HAVE A SHOW. >> Steve: YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT AT HOME. 80 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,389 >> Jimmy: I COULD TALK ABOUT IT TO NO ONE. BUT NOW I HAVE THE SIDE SHOW, I 81 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,558 MIGHT AS WELL SAY, "STAY TUNED FOR MONDAY." >> Steve: MONDAY 82 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:35,161 >> Jimmy: MONDAY, SET YOUR DVR I'LL EVEN GO THAT FAR. >> Steve: REALLY 83 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:38,331 >> Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE THEN YOU CAN PLAN A REAL PARTY. >> Steve: YOU SHOULD PARTY 84 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:42,502 AROUND THE SHOW. YOU SET THE DVR, ORDER SPICY PIZZA. 85 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:45,672 >> Jimmy: YOU GET SOME PIZZA YOU GET THAT SPICY LOVER'S PIZZA. 86 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:48,074 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GET READY FOR "THAT'S MY JAM. 87 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,810 IF YOU DVR IT, YOU CAN REWIND IT, YOU CAN PAUSE IT, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO 88 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,747 >> Steve: OH MY GOD. >> Jimmy: IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN STREAMING SERVICE 89 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,583 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT ANYWAY. MIGHT AS WELL USE IT, RIGHT? 90 00:06:56,583 --> 00:07:00,186 WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, DVR "TONIGHT SHOW. >> Steve: YEAH 91 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:04,257 >> Jimmy: DO BOTH. "TONIGHT SHOW" DVR THAT. >> Steve: RIGHT, EAT SOME SPICY 92 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:07,427 PIZZA. >> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PIZZA. 93 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:11,464 YOU GUYS FIGURE OUT WHAT TYPE OF FOOD YOU'RE GOING TO EAT FOR THE PARTY ON MONDAY NIGHT AT 94 00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:15,602 9:00 WHICH IS "THAT'S MY JAM," IS THE SHOW 95 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:21,074 BUT DVR IF YOU CAN'T CATCH IT LIVE BUT ALSO MIGHT AS WELL DVR 96 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,910 "TONIGHT SHOW" WHILE YOU'RE AT IT ALEXA, TAPE "TONIGHT SHOW" ON 97 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:28,415 DVR. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING, RIGHT 98 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:31,117 I'M TRYING TO HELP OUT >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: CAUSE WE MAKE A GOOD 99 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,753 MORNING SHOW, AS WELL. >> Steve: YEAH, WAKE UP TO THE "TONIGHT SHOW. 100 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,057 >> Jimmy: WAKE UP, YOU GO, "I HAVE NOTHING TO WATCH. WELL, NOW YOU DO 101 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,527 YOU HAVE TWO THINGS TO WATCH >> Steve: "THAT'S MY JAM." >> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT 102 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:45,665 AND THE "TONIGHT SHOW," YEAH BUT WE HAVE GREAT GUESTS KATE HUDSON IS ON THIS MONDAY 103 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:49,502 AND IT'S RIDICULOUS. YOU'LL SEE WHAT SHE DOES BUT IT'S GREAT 104 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,671 ANYWAY, THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "THAT'S MY JAM," MONDAY NIGHT, 105 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:56,176 9:00 P.M THANK YOU NBC. BEFORE WE GO ON, I WANT TO TAKE 106 00:07:56,176 --> 00:08:01,181 A MOMENT TO THANK SOME OF OUR SPONSORS FOR TONIGHT'S SHOW. THEY DON'T ALWAYS FIT IN THE 107 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,483 COMMERCIAL BREAKS. WE WANT TO MAKE SURE WE MENTION ALL OF THEM. 108 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:07,287 SO, IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS." 109 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:14,627 * TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS * >> Jimmy: FEBREZE, SPRAY BEFORE 110 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:18,465 YOUR PARENTS VISIT SO THEY THINK YOU HAVE YOUR LIFE TOGETHER 111 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:22,502 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE VITA COCONUT WATER, WE PROMISE YOU'LL CONVINCE YOURSELF IT 112 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:29,175 TASTES GOOD EVENTUALLY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STARBUCKS, WE'RE THE REASON YOU 113 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:36,816 KNOW THREE, AND ONLY THREE, WORDS IN ITALIAN [ APPLAUSE ] 114 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:43,923 BIORE NOSE STRIPS, EFFECTIVE BUT YIKES IS IT GROSS. [ APPLAUSE ] 115 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:45,692 UBER EATS, BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS, "I'M LAZY," LIKE MAKING THE GUY WHO DRIVES YOU AROUND 116 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:54,067 ALSO BRING YOU YOUR DINNER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CREST WHITE STRIPS, WE WILL NOT 117 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:58,071 STOP UNTIL YOUR TEETH ARE SO WHITE THEY KIND OF FREAK PEOPLE OUT. 118 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:05,245 [ APPLAUSE ] HUNT'S KETCHUP, THAT GROSS LITTLE PUDDLE OF WATER AT THE 119 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:13,453 TOP OF THE BOTTLE, WELL, THAT'S THE HUNT'S DIFFERENCE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 120 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:17,157 YELP, BE MAD ONLINE ABOUT A PLACE THAT WAS PROBABLY MEAN TO YOU FOR A GOOD REASON 121 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:22,595 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, GARDEN VEGGIE STRAWS, THE OFFICE SNACK 122 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:28,034 GUARANTEED NEVER TO BE STOLEN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 123 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,636 THAT'S ALL FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 124 00:09:29,636 --> 00:10:03,436 "HASHTAGS," EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 125 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,505 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW 126 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:08,308 HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO 127 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:19,919 HASHTAGS * >> Jimmy: GUYS, WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE WE SEND 128 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:24,090 OUT A HASHTAG, AND ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC THIS WEEK I SENT OUT THE 129 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:28,561 #MYHIGHSCHOOLWASWEIRD. AND I ASKED YOU GUYS TO SHARE SOME FUNNY OR WEIRD THINGS 130 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:31,531 ABOUT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC 131 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,367 SO, THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG. REALLY THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE 132 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,303 THAT NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE 133 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:41,341 #MYHIGHSCHOOLWASWEIRD RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS. THIS FIRST ONE'S WAS FROM 134 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:45,712 @ROBINJOSMITH. SHE SAYS, "ONE TEACHER'S BATHROOM PASS WAS AN ACTUAL 135 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,581 TOILET SEAT THAT YOU HAD TO CARRY WITH YOU TO THE RESTROOM." 136 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:57,424 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE EMBARRASSING THIS IS FROM @DONTTHINKSO555 137 00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:01,127 THEY SAY, "IT WAS SNOWING REALLY HARD ONE DAY WHEN WE ASKED THE VICE PRINCIPAL IF WE 138 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,864 COULD LEAVE EARLY. HE SAID, "NO THE ROADS AREN'T DANGEROUS ENOUGH YET." 139 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:11,204 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "HERE'S A TOILET SEAT." 140 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,106 >> Jimmy: "HERE'S YOUR TOILET SEAT." THIS ONE'S FROM 141 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:16,176 @HITECHRELOADED. >> Steve: OH YEAH. >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "WE HAD AN 142 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:20,613 ENGLISH TEACHER THAT WOULD SMOKE WEED BEFORE SCHOOL, AND HANG UPSIDE-DOWN BY HIS ANKLES 143 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:28,088 IN THE GYM WHILE READING THE NEWSPAPER. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 144 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,423 NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT THAT >> Steve: YEAH, NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT THAT 145 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:35,562 >> Jimmy: THIS IS FROM @MARYOLMSTED13 SHE SAYS, "WE HAD A BRING YOUR TRACTOR TO 146 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,732 SCHOOL DAY IF YOU BROUGHT ONE IN, YOU GOT TO SKIP ALL CLASSES, AND JUST 147 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:42,335 TALK WITH OTHERS ABOUT TRACTORS THAT WOULD CAUSE TRAFFIC DELAYS 148 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:50,210 BECAUSE THERE WAS ONE MAIN ROAD INTO THE SCHOOL. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 149 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:54,481 THAT'S PRETTY FUN, MAN NOW, THIS ONE IS FROM @COURTNEYGAYLE6. 150 00:11:54,481 --> 00:12:00,487 SHE SAYS, "THE MASCOT WAS A LITERAL MOP. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 151 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:06,192 >> Steve: WHAT A MOP? >> Jimmy: THE MASCOT'S A MOP 152 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:11,197 THIS ONE'S FROM @RILEYSMITHIAM HE SAYS, "ONE TIME MY FRIENDS AND I FOUND A LOCKED SECRET 153 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:17,437 ROOM DOWN THE STAIRS FROM THE BATHROOM WITH A DENTISTS CHAIR SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. 154 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:21,474 >> Steve: OH, IS IT SAFE >> Jimmy: THAT CAN'T BE REAL, RIGHT? 155 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,544 THAT CAN'T BE REAL, RIGHT? >> Steve: COULD BE >> Jimmy: DENTIST CHAIR UNDER 156 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:27,814 THE HIGH SCHOOL? >> Steve: YEAH, FOR TORTURE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 157 00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,216 YOU GOT THE TOILET SEAT, YOU GOT THE TRACTOR. YOU'RE ALL SET 158 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:34,721 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @JAMESMDODGE 159 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:41,928 HE SAYS, "MY SCHOOL'S LITERAL NAME WAS WILL C. WOOD. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 160 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:45,098 >> Steve: OH [ RIM SHOT ] NOT TOO CLOSE! 161 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:52,405 SPREAD APART >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @ZELDACORNER 162 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:57,010 HE SAYS, "THERE WAS THIS KID THAT WOULD RUN AROUND DURING HIGH SCHOOL AND HISS AT PEOPLE 163 00:12:57,010 --> 00:13:02,482 HE WAS REALLY SMART, BUT HE WOULD JUST RANDOMLY HISS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 164 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:09,255 [ JIMMY HISSES ] THIS ONE'S FROM THE @SUSANSPATT. 165 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,890 SHE SAYS, "MY HIGH SCHOOL OFFERED CANOE LESSONS IN THE SWIMMING POOL. 166 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:16,262 ABOUT TWO STROKES OF THE PADDLE SENT YOU DOWN THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE POOL. 167 00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:22,168 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "ALL RIGHT GIVE ME 500 LAPS BACKWARD. 168 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:27,073 >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @CHARLIEHBAUMANN HE SAYS, "MY HIGH SCHOOL IS 169 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:34,514 SHAPED LIKE MALE GENITALIA." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: IS THAT WILL C. WOOD 170 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:38,551 HIGH SCHOOL? [ LAUGHTER ] * 171 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,720 >> Jimmy: IT MUST BE THEY MUST HAVE WENT TO THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL. 172 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:45,091 >> Steve: OH, BOY. >> Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE IS FROM @SHEARDBEARD 173 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:48,261 HE SAYS, "OUR HEALTH TEACHER MENTIONED THAT HE GOT A PAPER CUT IN HIS EYE 174 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:52,432 AS HE DEMONSTRATED HOW IT HAPPENED, HE RECUT HIS EYE." >> Steve: OH 175 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,934 [ APPLAUSE ] THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW 176 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,503 HASHTAGS," TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES, GO TO TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS 177 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,739 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KEVIN JAMES, EVERYBODY 178 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:23,063 * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR AND A VERY 179 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:29,235 FUNNY COMEDIAN STARRING IN THE NEW FILM "HOME TEAM," WHICH PREMIERES ON NETFLIX TOMORROW. 180 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:32,405 HERE'S THE ALWAYS ENTERTAINING KEVIN JAMES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 181 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:38,311 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE KEVIN JAMES! 182 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:42,482 I LOVE YOU, BUDDY. >> LOVE YOU TOO, MAN >> Jimmy: WELCOME. 183 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:47,287 WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW YOU LOOK GOOD, PAL I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER -- 184 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:51,424 HAVE I EVER SEEN YOU WITH A SHAVED HEAD? >> OH, YEAH, I DON'T KNOW. 185 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,293 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ON THERE WITH A SHAVED HEAD I DID A MOVIE, WHICH WAS LIKE 186 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:59,733 A LITTLE SINISTER MOVIE CALLED "BECKY," AND IT WAS A DIFFERENT CHARACTER, SO I SHAVED MY HEAD 187 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:04,537 AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "I'LL - I'LL JUST GROW IT BACK AFTERWARDS." 188 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,306 AND I STARTED TO GROW IT BACK, AND GOD STEPPED IN AND WAS LIKE, "YEAH, IT'S NOT GOING TO 189 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:11,644 HAPPEN." IT DIDN'T COME IN VERY THICK SO, I WAS LIKE, "OH, MAYBE I 190 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:14,381 BETTER STICK WITH THIS." YOU HAVE GOOD HAIR >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. 191 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,550 YEAH, THIS IS -- >> VERY GOOD HAIR. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. 192 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,753 THIS IS THE BEST TOUPEE MONEY CAN BUY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 193 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:22,055 I MEAN YOU CAN REALLY -- >> IT REALLY IS. >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE GLUE - 194 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,124 >> IT'S TIGHT ON THE SIDE. I LIKE IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH 195 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,793 IT'S A NEW YEAR. YOU GOT A NEW LOOK I MEAN, ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING 196 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:30,263 ELSE DIFFERENTLY FOR THE NEW YEAR >> I'M TRYING, AS ALWAYS, TO 197 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:34,701 GET IN SHAPE, BUT IT'S JUST -- IT'S NOT WORKING BECAUSE I'M OLDER THAN YOU, MAN. 198 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,237 I'M JUST FEELING -- I FEEL EVERYTHING YOU KNOW, THE ACHES AND PAINS 199 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:42,575 AND JUST MOVING AROUND I CAN'T GET MOTIVATED. YOU KNOW, IT'S EVEN -- 200 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,745 EVEN GETTING OUT OF BED TAKES ME, LIKE - I USED TO SPRING UP. 201 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:49,816 BUT, I DON'T KNOW. IT TAKES ME -- FIRST OF ALL, I HAVE A MATTRESS, I'VE HAD IT 202 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:53,086 FOR LIKE, TEN YEARS, SO IT KIND OF KNOWS ME. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 203 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:58,558 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S GOT, LIKE, THE FAT GUY DIVOT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. 204 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,728 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? LIKE, IF YOU WALKED IN MY 205 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:07,734 BEDROOM IN THE MORNING AND YOU -- YOU EVER SEE HALF AN AVOCADO? 206 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:12,105 IT WOULD LITERALLY LOOK LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH 207 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,041 >> Jimmy: THE PIT, YEAH. >> I'M JUST -- KIND OF STUCK IN THERE. 208 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,777 IT TAKES ME -- SO THAT TAKES A WHILE TO GET GOING. 209 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:23,583 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I SOMETIMES -- I ALMOST SOMETIMES ROCK MYSELF TO GO LIKE -- "HOO-YA" AND THEN 210 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,685 GET UP >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND GET OUT. 211 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,821 >> IT'S A MOMENTUM THING TO GET OUT. FOR ME, EVEN TO GET TO THE 212 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:30,690 SIDE, BECAUSE I SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE TO GET OVER, I'VE GOT TO GET 213 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:35,061 ENOUGH WEIGHT OVER THE SIDE OF THE BED. IT'S LIKE -- YOU REMEMBER THAT 214 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:38,231 ARCADE GAME WHERE THE COINS WHERE THEY JUST KEEP PUSHING IT CLOSER TO THE SIDE 215 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:48,508 [ LAUGHTER ] UNTIL YOU SPILL ONTO THE FLOOR LIKE A BABY CALF BEING BORN. 216 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,444 >> Jimmy: HOW ARE THE KIDS YOU EVER WORK OUT WITH THE KIDS 217 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:55,115 YOU DO ACTIVE STUFF WITH THEM? >> I TRY TO. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THE SHUTDOWN 218 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:59,753 FOR US WAS MISERABLE, YOU KNOW AND KIDS NOW -- YOU HAVE HOW MANY KIDS? 219 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:02,389 >> I HAVE TWO GIRLS. >> THREE TWO. 220 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,557 >> Jimmy: YEAH, TWO. >> THEY'RE PROBABLY ACTIVE LITTLE GIRLS - 221 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,627 I DON'T KNOW WHY I'VE GOT A BOY -- JUST NOT ACTIVE 222 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:12,565 I TRY TO GET HIM GOING HE'S JUST -- KIDS TODAY, IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE LESS ACTIVE 223 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,036 THAN WE WERE I MEAN -- AND I SAID, "HEY, WE'VE GOT TO START WORKING OUT, 224 00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,238 BUDDY. AND HE'S ALWAYS -- IT'S ALWAYS THE VIDEO GAMES. 225 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:22,609 SO I SAID, "ENOUGH OF THAT YOU CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE. AND HE JUST TRIES TO NEGOTIATE 226 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,778 HIS WAY OUT OF IT. HE'S LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO DO -- CAN WE PLEASE -- CAN 227 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:26,546 I -- AND I'M LIKE, "NO, WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ACTIVE. 228 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,182 ME AND YOU LET'S GO WE'RE GOING. 229 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,051 AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT IF I GOT -- HE SAID THIS 230 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,452 HE SAID, "WHAT IF I GOT AN OCULUS?" AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT AN 231 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:37,257 OCULUS WAS, BUT IT'S ONE OF THOSE VIRTUAL REALITY MASKS. >> Jimmy: YEAH 232 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,325 >> AND HE WAS LIKE, "WHAT IF I GET -- BECAUSE YOU CAN DO THINGS, HE 233 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,861 SAYS, ON THAT WHERE YOU CAN BE ACTIVE HE SAYS, YOU CAN -- THERE ARE 234 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:49,069 BOXING GAMES ON THERE WHERE YOU CAN BOX APOLLO CREED AND ROCKY OR MUHAMMAD ALI. 235 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,237 AND THERE'S SWORD GAMES WHERE YOU'RE LIKE A PIRATE AND ALL THAT STUFF 236 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:55,742 SO, HE'S LIKE, "I'LL BE ACTIVE THERE'S DANCE STUFF. AND I SAID, "ALL RIGHT 237 00:17:55,742 --> 00:18:00,647 WELL, MAYBE THAT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT, I GUESS." SO, I LET HIM GET THE OCULUS 238 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:04,484 AND I SWEAR TO YOU, JIMMY, THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS WE DO - 239 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:08,021 WE TALK ABOUT AND WE EMBELLISH STORIES. I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP 240 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:12,325 ABOUT MY KID READY? THE FIRST DAY HE HAS IT, I WALK 241 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:16,029 DOWN THE STEPS I COME DOWN THE STEPS, I SEE HIM IN THE FOYER 242 00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:19,065 HE'S STANDING WITH THE MASK ON -- THE OCULUS, RIGHT. AND HE'S LITERALLY JUST 243 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:23,036 STANDING THERE FOR TEN MINUTES, JUST NOTHING AND THEN, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE 244 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:29,042 I'LL JUST SEE THIS I'LL JUST SEE -- WITH HIS FINGERS. 245 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:32,245 AND HE DID NOTHING AND HE GOES LIKE THIS, NOTHING TEN MINUTES. 246 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:36,816 I GO, HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE'S FIGHTING APOLLO CREED AT ALL [ LAUGHTER ] 247 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:41,054 THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. >> Jimmy: NO >> I LITERALLY -- I RIP IT OFF 248 00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:44,157 I'M LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" 249 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:48,061 HE DOWNLOADED A JOB SIMULATOR VIRTUAL REALITY -- HE GOT A JOB AT A CONVENIENCE 250 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,830 STORE AND THAT'S ALL HE WAS DOING. [ LAUGHTER ] 251 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,566 HE WAS WAITING FOR CUSTOMERS TO COME IN. I'M NOT MAKING IT UP, JIMMY. 252 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:58,805 I SWEAR -- AND HE WAS RINGING PEOPLE UP THAT'S ALL HE WAS -- HE'S 253 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,075 GETTING, LIKE, CIGARETTES, AND THEN HE WOULD HAND IT TO THEM. AND THEN HE WOULD SIT THERE AND 254 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:05,345 WAIT FOR THE NEXT CUSTOMER HE JUST SAT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] 255 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:11,251 LITERALLY -- NOTHING >> Jimmy: WHY DIDN'T HE PICK A A DIFFERENT JOB? 256 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:15,422 >> PICK UP A MOP AT LEAST! [ LAUGHTER ] STACK SOME CASES OF BEER 257 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:18,925 >> Jimmy: MOP UP THE - >> YES HE'S SITTING THERE 258 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,327 HE'S A HORRIBLE BUSINESS GUY, TOO. HE'S SCRATCHING OFF HIS OWN 259 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,698 LOTTO TICKETS. HE'S RUINING EVERYTHING. [ LAUGHTER ] 260 00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:29,602 VERY LAZY KID. >> Jimmy: WE'VE GOT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW MOVIE "HOME 261 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:34,040 TEAM." IT'S FUNNY, AS ALWAYS. KEVIN JAMES, IS OH, SO FUNNY 262 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,743 BUT IT'S HEARTWARMING. IT'S SOMETHING THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN ENJOY. 263 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:40,780 IT'S ON NETFLIX. BASED ON A TRUE STORY. CAN YOU SET UP - 264 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,150 >> YES >> Jimmy: SET UP WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT FOR EVERYONE. 265 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,919 >> YEAH, SEAN PAYTON, WHO IS THE COACH OF THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS, AFTER WINNING THE 266 00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:53,660 SUPER BOWL, HE GOT SUSPENDED IT WAS THAT BOUNTY GATE A LONG TIME AGO 267 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:57,731 AND HE GOT SUSPENDED FOR A YEAR WHERE HE COULDN'T BE ASSOCIATED WITH ANYBODY IN THE NFL. 268 00:19:57,731 --> 00:20:00,166 AND I NEVER KNEW THIS. I HEARD ABOUT THE SUSPENSION, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED 269 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,937 WITH IT. BUT HE SPENT THAT ENTIRE NEXT YEAR COACHING HIS 12-YEAR-OLD 270 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:10,844 SON'S FOOTBALL TEAM, THE WARRIORS, AND HE BROUGHT THEM TO A CHAMPIONSHIP. 271 00:20:10,844 --> 00:20:12,612 AND HE RECONNECTED WITH HIS SON, AND HE BROUGHT THEM ALL THE WAY TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP 272 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:17,517 GAME AND HE LOST THE CHAMPIONSHIP, BUT IT WAS AN AMAZING -- HE 273 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:23,089 SAYS IT WAS THE BEST YEAR OF FOOTBALL IN HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE CONNECTED WITH HIS SON 274 00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,392 AND I DISAGREE WITH HIM BECAUSE HE WON A SUPER BOWL. IT'S PRETTY COOL 275 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:28,361 [ LAUGHTER ] LET'S BE HONEST, RIGHT THE KID'S GREAT, BUT THAT'S 276 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:33,566 SECOND PLACE [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? 277 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,403 IT'S A SUPER BOWL, MAN >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO THE MORE IMPORTANT IS THAT HE 278 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:39,706 CONNECTED -- YOU GUYS GOT TO SEE THIS IT'S GREAT 279 00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,875 I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S KEVIN JAMES IN "HOME TEAM." 280 00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:43,810 TEAM." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 281 00:20:44,878 --> 00:20:45,812 >> HE'S AT THE 20. 282 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:55,121 HE'S AT THE 10 OH, MY GOD, TOUCHDOWN WARRIORS [ CHEERS ] 283 00:20:55,121 --> 00:21:03,296 FIRST TOUCHDOWN OF THE SEASON! AND JUST AS THE GAME COMES TO AN END 284 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:08,668 >> THAT WAS A TOUCHDOWN! >> TAKE IT EASY, ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HERE 285 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:17,310 >> AND FOLKS, THAT'LL DO IT. FINAL SCORE HERE, WARRIORS 6, KNIGHTS 38 286 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:21,147 >> WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN! WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN 287 00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:26,186 WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN 288 00:21:26,186 --> 00:21:31,624 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: WE GOT A TOUCHDOWN WE GOT A - 289 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:37,097 KEVIN JAMES, EVERYBODY "HOME TEAM" PREMIERES TOMORROW TOMORROW ON NETFLIX. 290 00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:38,631 "HOME TEAM." MORE FUN WITH KEVIN WHEN WE COME BACK. 291 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:58,251 STICK AROUND EVERYBODY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 292 00:21:58,251 --> 00:21:59,686 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WE'RE HANGING WITH OUR PAL, 293 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:07,527 KEVIN JAMES, WHO STARS IN THE NEW NETFLIX FILM "HOME TEAM. IT'S COMING OUT TOMORROW 294 00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:10,063 I WANT TO ASK YOU, ALSO, ABOUT ANOTHER PROJECT THAT YOU'RE DOING. 295 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:15,268 YOU DID A LOCAL PRODUCTION OF "OLIVER. >> YES 296 00:22:15,268 --> 00:22:18,338 YEAH, I TOOK A PAGE OUT OF SEAN PAYTON'S PLAYBOOK I DID A -- MY KIDS WERE ASKING 297 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:23,643 ME IF I COULD BE IN A PLAY WITH THEM SO I SAID, YEAH, I WOULD LOVE 298 00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,478 TO DO A SMALL PART WHERE I JUST COME IN AND SAY HELLO, KIND OF, AND HAVE A LITTLE FUN IN THE 299 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:33,653 PLAY WITH THEM IT TURNED OUT TO BE -- WE DID "OLIVER. 300 00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:35,388 I'D NEVER SEEN "OLIVER" BUT I'M PLAYING FAGIN IN "OLIVER," WHICH IS A PRETTY BIG PART, 301 00:22:35,388 --> 00:22:40,093 MAN. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW INVOLVED IT WAS. 302 00:22:40,093 --> 00:22:42,595 IT'S THE HARDEST I'VE EVER WORKED FOR ANYTHING IN MY CAREER 303 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:45,765 I'M HONEST HAVE YOU EVER DONE LIVE THEATER? 304 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:49,703 >> Jimmy: NEVER. NO, NO, NO I COULDN'T REMEMBER THE LINES. 305 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:52,972 >> EXACTLY WELL, YOU CAN SING, THOUGH YOU CAN DANCE. 306 00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:56,276 THERE'S ALL OF THIS IN THERE AND I'M JUST -- I'M HORRENDOUS WITH IT. 307 00:22:56,276 --> 00:22:59,779 AND IT WAS LIKE -- IT'S FRIGHTENING. AND THESE KIDS ARE AMAZING 308 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:03,249 THE WHOLE GROUP IS REALLY GOOD, SO THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE ON ME 309 00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:07,954 AND WE HAD SOME FUN DOING IT BUT I'M JUST NOT, YOU KNOW, MUSICAL GUY AND ALL THAT 310 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:11,124 IT'S LITERALLY THE HARDEST - DOUBLE REHEARSALS, LIKE TECH WEEK 311 00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:16,396 THE WHOLE THING, LIVE AUDIENCE IT'S -- IT'S A PANIC FEST. >> Jimmy: DO YOUR KIDS SCHOOL 312 00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:21,067 YOU TO ANY NEW MUSIC DO YOU GET TO HEAR MUSIC THROUGH YOUR KIDS? 313 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:25,238 >> I HEAR TONS OF MUSIC NOW. I MEAN -- THE RADIO'S ALWAYS GOING ALONG. 314 00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,307 >> Jimmy: ANYTHING YOU'RE LISTENING TO NOW >> THE ONE SONG THAT'S IN MY 315 00:23:27,307 --> 00:23:32,879 HEAD CONSTANTLY IS THE ONE THAT - F YOU. 316 00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:48,094 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! 317 00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:52,098 WAIT >> ARE YOU KIDDING ME? >> Jimmy: NO, I'M NOT KIDDING 318 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:59,773 YOU AT ALL [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN 319 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:04,144 YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN SIT DOWN SIT DOWN 320 00:24:04,144 --> 00:24:07,914 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH YEAH OH, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, 321 00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,283 MAN. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH >> HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BIT OF 322 00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:13,053 THIS YOU LITTLE -- >> Jimmy: OH [ LAUGHTER ] 323 00:24:13,053 --> 00:24:16,823 >> YEAH! YEAH >> Jimmy: YOUR MOVIE'S ON 324 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:20,860 NETFLIX, HUH WELL, GUESS WHAT [ SHOUTING OVER EACH OTHER ] 325 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:24,931 >> Jimmy: YOU -- >> HEY THIS IS YOUR COMPUTER? 326 00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:27,767 HOW YOU GETTING ANY WORK DONE? IS THIS WHERE YOU TYPE YOUR JOKES? 327 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:33,340 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH DON'T GET WET BUDDY! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 328 00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:36,443 >> DUDE, DUDE, THAT IS NOT COOL >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S NOT COOL 329 00:24:36,443 --> 00:24:41,114 AT ALL, MAN! NOTHING'S COOL ANYMORE >> YEAH? 330 00:24:41,114 --> 00:24:49,956 HOW ABOUT A SACK OF NICKELS? YOU WANT NICKELS IN THE FACE WITH AN OLD SWEAT SOCK 331 00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:53,893 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LUCKY YOU 332 00:24:53,893 --> 00:24:59,132 MISSED ME WITH THAT ONE! IS YOUR MOVIE ABOUT FOOTBALL >> YEAH, IT'S ABOUT FOOTBALL 333 00:24:59,132 --> 00:25:03,036 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL HERE'S SOMETHING THAT WAS ON MY FOOT! [ LAUGHTER ] 334 00:25:03,036 --> 00:25:07,240 >> OH! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WAIT A SECOND. 335 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,409 OH, YEAH >> OH, MY GOSH, I'M THINKING ABOUT THIS NOW 336 00:25:09,409 --> 00:25:15,315 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY I JUST REMEMBERED. IT'S NOT F YOU 337 00:25:15,315 --> 00:25:24,591 IT'S "ABCDEFU. IT'S THAT SONG BY GAYLE. [ APPLAUSE ] 338 00:25:24,591 --> 00:25:29,729 YOU KNOW THAT ONE? >> Jimmy: WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT ARE WE DOING? 339 00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:32,465 I'M SO SORRY I LOVE YOU, KEVIN. I WOULD NEVER WANT TO DO THIS 340 00:25:32,465 --> 00:25:35,969 TO YOU >> I LOVE YOU, MAN >> Jimmy: THANKS, BUDDY. 341 00:25:35,969 --> 00:25:39,372 I APPRECIATE IT. >> YEAH. BUT I DO HAVE TO GIVE YOU THIS, 342 00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:46,479 OKAY >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO NO, NO 343 00:25:46,479 --> 00:25:50,283 GOSH [ LAUGHTER ] >> DID I MISS YOU? 344 00:25:50,283 --> 00:26:02,328 >> Jimmy: NO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BANANA CREAM, MY FAVORITE. 345 00:26:02,328 --> 00:26:07,467 MY THANKS TO KEVIN JAMES HIS NEW FILM "HOME TEAM" PREMIERES TOMORROW ON NETFLIX. 346 00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:10,503 I LOVE YOU, BUDDY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW. 347 00:26:10,503 --> 00:26:30,056 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YOU HAVE A BABY TO BITE THE 348 00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:31,725 THIGHS >> Jimmy: YES, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO 349 00:26:31,725 --> 00:26:34,294 THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO IT. >> THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T GET TO KISS ANOTHER 350 00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:37,530 PERSON'S BABY ON THE MOUTH THAT'S BIZARRE >> Jimmy: NOPE 351 00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:40,567 >> AND YOU DON'T GET TO BITE OTHER PEOPLE'S BABY'S THIGHS >> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT, YOU 352 00:26:40,567 --> 00:26:59,719 DON'T. >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY-NOMINATED WRITER, ACTRESS, 353 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:03,656 AND PRODUCER WHO YOU CAN SEE IN THE NEW SERIES, "THE AFTERPARTY," WHICH BEGINS 354 00:27:03,656 --> 00:27:09,362 STREAMING TOMORROW ON APPLE TV PLUS PLEASE WELCOME ILANA GLAZER. 355 00:27:09,362 --> 00:27:09,396 PLUS PLEASE WELCOME ILANA GLAZER. 356 00:27:15,168 --> 00:27:25,712 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> TO SEE THE PEOPLE 357 00:27:25,712 --> 00:27:27,814 HELLO! >> Jimmy: PEOPLE ARE HERE! THAT'S RIGHT 358 00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:29,549 YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> HI, ROOTS 359 00:27:29,549 --> 00:27:32,185 HEY. >> Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. 360 00:27:32,185 --> 00:27:34,454 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME JIMMY, ARE YOU MY CLOSEST 361 00:27:34,454 --> 00:27:37,190 FRIEND EVERY TIME I HAVE A LIFE MILESTONE, I'M COMING ON 362 00:27:37,190 --> 00:27:41,361 "FALLON. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> WHEN I WAS -- GOT MARRIED, I 363 00:27:41,361 --> 00:27:43,430 WAS PREGNANT >> Jimmy: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE 364 00:27:43,430 --> 00:27:46,066 >> YEAH, AND I GAVE BIRTH, AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, CALL JIMMY. WE'VE GOT TO GET THIS -- 365 00:27:46,066 --> 00:27:48,668 >> Jimmy: LET'S GET GOING, YEAH, THERE'S ANOTHER LIFE MOMENT 366 00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:53,707 HOW'S BABY >> SHE'S SO CREAMY DREAMY. >> Jimmy: THE BEST EVER, RIGHT 367 00:27:53,707 --> 00:27:57,310 >> WE CALL HER A TWINKIE, JUST FILLED WITH BREAST MILK. [ LAUGHTER ] 368 00:27:57,310 --> 00:28:00,013 SHE'S CHUNKY I'M JUST -- I'M NIBBLING I'M KISSING. 369 00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:03,216 >> Jimmy: YES! >> YOU HAVE A BABY TO BITE THE THIGHS 370 00:28:03,216 --> 00:28:05,418 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO IT. 371 00:28:05,418 --> 00:28:08,021 >> THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DON'T GET TO KISS ANOTHER PERSON'S BABY ON THE MOUTH 372 00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:10,657 THAT'S BIZARRE >> Jimmy: NOPE >> AND YOU DON'T GET TO BITE 373 00:28:10,657 --> 00:28:14,260 OTHER PEOPLE'S BABY'S THIGHS >> Jimmy: YES, THAT'S CORRECT, YOU DON'T. 374 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,864 IT'S THE BEST. AND I GOT TO SEE A PICTURE BACKSTAGE. 375 00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:20,500 AND MAN, OH MAN, CONGRATULATIONS. SO HAPPY FOR YOU 376 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:24,104 >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I ALSO GOT TO SEE A PHOTO THAT YOU POSTED THAT I 377 00:28:24,104 --> 00:28:26,840 THINK A LOT OF US CAN RELATE TO, A LOT OF PARENTS >> YEAH. 378 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,442 >> Jimmy: THIS IS WORKING RIGHT NOW. THIS IS YOU WORKING DURING THE 379 00:28:29,442 --> 00:28:32,746 PANDEMIC >> YEP, I GO FROM TOILET TO THE -- 380 00:28:32,746 --> 00:28:35,048 >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH, THAT'S YOU >> THAT'S MY COMMUTE FROM 381 00:28:35,048 --> 00:28:38,051 THERAPY -- >> Jimmy: THAT'S YOUR OFFICE >> YEAH, FROM THERAPY TO WORK 382 00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:41,588 I'M TOILET TO EDGE OF TUB. DOOR IS CLOSED MOST OF THE TIME 383 00:28:41,588 --> 00:28:45,725 >> Jimmy: YEAH, ISN'T THAT INTERESTING? THAT USED TO BE, LIKE, BATH IS 384 00:28:45,725 --> 00:28:47,694 A PLACE FOR RELAXATION >> THAT'S RIGHT. NO, NOW IT IS WORK AND -- 385 00:28:47,694 --> 00:28:51,865 INTERNAL WORK AND EXTERNAL WORK >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH. 386 00:28:51,865 --> 00:28:54,601 ARE YOU FIGURING OUT APARTMENT LIFE AND FIGURING THAT ALL OUT WITH BABY? 387 00:28:54,601 --> 00:28:58,638 >> YEAH, BEING A PARENT IN NEW YORK CITY IS CRAZY I'M JUST UP SO MANY STAIRS 388 00:28:58,638 --> 00:29:01,808 I'M LIKE THIS IS -- AS LONG AS I HAVE GOOD FORM, IT'S A A WORKOUT. 389 00:29:01,808 --> 00:29:05,645 EVERY DAY I'M WORKING OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE 390 00:29:05,645 --> 00:29:07,714 YOUR FORM IS ON POINT. >> I'M TUCKING THE PELVIS, I'M OPENING THE -- 391 00:29:07,714 --> 00:29:10,116 >> Jimmy: CORE, GOT TO WORK THE CORE >> GROCERIES 392 00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:13,019 I'M LIKE -- I'M A SHERPA OR SOMETHING. I'M JUST CARRYING BAGS, IT'S A 393 00:29:13,019 --> 00:29:15,922 A CRAZY LIFE >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF WHEN 394 00:29:15,922 --> 00:29:18,525 YOU'RE DOING IT. >> NO. I'M LIKE, "AW, BABY. 395 00:29:18,525 --> 00:29:22,562 AND THEN I'M LIKE, GROCERIES IS -- THIS IS BANANAS. THIS IS A TRIP 396 00:29:22,562 --> 00:29:26,499 >> Jimmy: YEAH WE WERE TALKING HASHTAGS EARLIER WAS MY HIGH SCHOOL WAS 397 00:29:26,499 --> 00:29:30,437 WEIRD. AND I WAS JUST WONDERING DID YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD MOMENTS IN 398 00:29:30,437 --> 00:29:32,839 HIGH SCHOOL OR HAVE A WEIRD HIGH SCHOOL? >> I MEAN, LIKE, THE WEIRD 399 00:29:32,839 --> 00:29:35,809 PART -- I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL ON LONG ISLAND TO A BIG PUBLIC SCHOOL AND I WENT TO SCHOOL 400 00:29:35,809 --> 00:29:39,512 WITH, LIKE, 2,500 KIDS >> Jimmy: WOW. >> THAT, TO ME, WAS WHAT WAS 401 00:29:39,512 --> 00:29:45,085 WEIRD, WAS THE FEELING OF BEING CATTLE, I GUESS. [ LAUGHTER ] 402 00:29:45,085 --> 00:29:48,488 WE HAD FOUR MINUTES -- I THINK THAT'S A STANDARD THING -- FOUR MINUTES BETWEEN CLASSES. 403 00:29:48,488 --> 00:29:52,759 RUNNING -- IT WAS -- WHY CAN'T YOU GET THE FIFTH MINUTE IN HIGH SCHOOL? 404 00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:55,495 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE ALREADY FILLED WITH ANXIETY AND SELF-LOATHING AND 405 00:29:55,495 --> 00:29:59,299 JUST, LIKE, RUNNING PAST PEOPLE IT WAS JUST SO -- WHEN PEOPLE 406 00:29:59,299 --> 00:30:03,336 TALK ABOUT THEIR HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCES OF LIKE, "OH, I GRADUATED WITH, LIKE, 20 KIDS. 407 00:30:03,336 --> 00:30:07,841 I CAN'T EVEN -- I DIDN'T KNOW -- I KNEW, YOU KNOW, 2% OF MY CLASS 408 00:30:07,841 --> 00:30:10,443 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WILD. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND WERE YOU INVOLVED 409 00:30:10,443 --> 00:30:14,614 WITH ANY CLUBS OR ANYTHING >> I WAS IN STUDENT COUNCIL -- I WAS A BIG NERD 410 00:30:14,614 --> 00:30:21,054 I WAS IN PLAYS AND STUDENT COUNCIL. AND I WAS ACTUALLY IN AN 411 00:30:21,054 --> 00:30:25,425 ANTI-DRUG CLUB CALLED THE POSITIVE EDGE. [ LAUGHTER ] 412 00:30:25,425 --> 00:30:28,495 I WAS ON THE POSITIVE EDGE - >> Jimmy: THE POSITIVE EDGE. >> -- OF THE DRUG WAR OR 413 00:30:28,495 --> 00:30:32,432 SOMETHING. AND THAT REALLY WORKED, CLEARLY, FOR ME. 414 00:30:32,432 --> 00:30:36,036 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH >> JUST BANKING A BIG PART OF 415 00:30:36,036 --> 00:30:38,338 MY CAREER ON WEED. >> Jimmy: WHAT WOULD HAPPEN AT A POSITIVE EDGE MEETINGS 416 00:30:38,338 --> 00:30:42,475 >> WE WOULD TALK ABOUT -- WE WOULD TALK ABOUT -- HONESTLY, WE WOULD CUT CLASS 417 00:30:42,475 --> 00:30:46,312 THAT'S WHAT IT WAS YOU DID THE POSITIVE EDGE TO CUT CLASS AND GO TEACH FOURTH 418 00:30:46,312 --> 00:30:49,916 AND SIXTH GRADERS NOT TO DO DRUGS. AND IT'S -- IT'S LIES. 419 00:30:49,916 --> 00:30:54,287 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIES. WE'RE TELLING THEM, "DON'T DO 420 00:30:54,287 --> 00:30:57,090 DRUGS, GUYS," AS WE'RE STARTING TO EXPERIMENT WITH DRUGS IT WAS LIKE THE D.A.R.E. 421 00:30:57,090 --> 00:31:01,494 PROGRAM. LIKE, DID THAT WORK? >> Jimmy: YEAH 422 00:31:01,494 --> 00:31:05,432 >> WE HAD, LIKE, A COP COME AND TELL US HOW BAD DRUGS WERE AND SOME BAD GUY IS GOING TO SELL 423 00:31:05,432 --> 00:31:09,703 YOU DRUGS. THE TRUTH IS THAT YOUR FRIENDS SELL YOU DRUGS 424 00:31:09,703 --> 00:31:13,973 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHO'S PUSHING IT. >> Jimmy: THAT'S INTERESTING 425 00:31:13,973 --> 00:31:18,978 YOU'RE NOT IN AN ALLEYWAY SOMEWHERE. >> I'M A NERD. 426 00:31:18,978 --> 00:31:22,482 IT'S MY FRIEND STEALING HIS BROTHER'S BONG AND, LIKE, SNEAKING IT LIKE A DORK IN HIS 427 00:31:22,482 --> 00:31:27,120 INNER POCKET IT'S -- NO, IT DIDN'T WORK >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU HAVE TO 428 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:31,358 KIND OF CHANNEL YOUR INNER HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE "THE AFTERPARTY," WHICH, BY THE WAY, 429 00:31:31,358 --> 00:31:34,527 WELL DONE. >> INCREDIBLE. >> Jimmy: WHO -- 430 00:31:34,527 --> 00:31:37,364 >> IT WAS CREATED BY CHRIS MILLER AND PRODUCED BY LORD AND MILLER. 431 00:31:37,364 --> 00:31:41,634 THESE GUYS CAN'T MISS. >> Jimmy: THEY REALLY CAN'T. IT'S LEVELS OF FUNNY AND, LIKE, 432 00:31:41,634 --> 00:31:45,438 EASTER EGGS OF FUN AND CREATIVITY >> YEAH, IT WAS SO GOOD. 433 00:31:45,438 --> 00:31:50,243 THE CAST IS -- THE CAST IS BANANAS. >> Jimmy: EVERYONE'S FUNNY 434 00:31:50,243 --> 00:31:53,413 >> IT'S ABOUT A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION AND A POP STAR WHO WENT TO THE HIGH SCHOOL THROWS AN 435 00:31:53,413 --> 00:31:57,484 AFTER PARTY, PLAYED BY DAVE FRANCO, WHO CRACKED ME UP ON SET 436 00:31:57,484 --> 00:32:01,955 AND IT BECOMES A WHO DONE IT MURDER MYSTERY, BUT THERE'S TWO TWISTS IS THAT IT'S 437 00:32:01,955 --> 00:32:07,861 A MULTI-GENRE SHOW SO, THERE IS A TEEN MOVIE, A A ROM COM, A PSYCHOLOGICAL 438 00:32:07,861 --> 00:32:14,100 THRILLER AND THE OTHER TWIST IS THAT IT'S LIKE A ROCK STAR CAST 439 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:18,772 THIS WAS SUCH A BLAST TO DO. IT'S LIKE COMEDY ATHLETES. >> Jimmy: WERE YOU EXHAUSTED, 440 00:32:18,772 --> 00:32:21,508 LIKE, WORKING WITH THESE GUYS? BECAUSE THEY REALLY -- EVERYONE IS REALLY LIKE AT THE TOP OF 441 00:32:21,508 --> 00:32:26,212 THEIR GAME >> WE WERE CRACKING UP, AND IT WAS, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE THING 442 00:32:26,212 --> 00:32:31,484 OR TWO ABOUT BREAKING. I WAS LIKE - I WAS -- I WAS REALLY -- 443 00:32:31,484 --> 00:32:34,320 >> Jimmy: I COULD NOT MAKE IT THROUGH ONE SCENE. >> I KNOW, WE WERE REALLY -- 444 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,589 >> Jimmy: I MEAN, TIFFANY HADDISH -- >> I HAVE -- 445 00:32:36,589 --> 00:32:40,660 >> Jimmy: JOHN EARLY - >> NOW THAT I AM A MOTHER, I'M JUST A FULL ON, LIKE, MOM DORK, 446 00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:44,898 A PROUD MOM. SO I'M GOING TO READ THE CAST BECAUSE IT'S INCREDIBLE. 447 00:32:44,898 --> 00:32:47,334 >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT YOU WERE HOLDING IT IN YOUR SLEEVE THE WHOLE TIME 448 00:32:47,334 --> 00:32:49,402 >> TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE >> Jimmy: WOW. I LOVE THAT YOU TOTALLY COULD 449 00:32:49,402 --> 00:32:52,005 HAVE PULLED THAT OUT FROM MY EAR AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE, "WHAT? 450 00:32:52,005 --> 00:32:54,541 IT'S SO GOOD >> LISTEN TO THIS CAST, IT'S TIFFANY HADDISH, 451 00:32:54,541 --> 00:32:59,346 SAM RICHARDSON, DAVE FRANCO, ZOE CHAO, BEN SCHWARTZ, JAMIE DEMETRIOU, JOHN EARLY, 452 00:32:59,346 --> 00:33:05,151 KELVIN YU, IKE BARINHOLTZ, TIYA SIRCAR, AYDEN MAYERI, AND GENEVIEVE ANGELSON 453 00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:08,955 IT'S A ROCK STAR CAST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE INCREDIBLE, INCREDIBLE 454 00:33:08,955 --> 00:33:11,358 >> Jimmy: IT'S SO WELL DONE, IT'S WORTH YOUR TIME IT'S FUNNY 455 00:33:11,358 --> 00:33:14,961 IT'S INTERESTING I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU >> THANKS SO MUCH. 456 00:33:14,961 --> 00:33:17,263 >> Jimmy: AND YOU HAVE TO COME WITH EVERY MILESTONE OF YOUR LIFE 457 00:33:17,263 --> 00:33:20,066 >> I KNOW, I GUESS WHEN MY DAUGHTER IS BAT MITZVAHED. I MEAN THAT'S IN A WHILE, 458 00:33:20,066 --> 00:33:23,503 BUT -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OPEN INVITATION. 459 00:33:23,503 --> 00:33:25,805 I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S ILANA GLAZER IN "THE AFTERPARTY." 460 00:33:25,805 --> 00:33:27,407 AFTERPARTY." TAKE A LOOK. 461 00:33:29,109 --> 00:33:29,743 CHELSEA? 462 00:33:29,743 --> 00:33:32,779 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE >> WAIT. I KNOW 463 00:33:32,779 --> 00:33:37,917 YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ZOE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ZOE >> I NEED TO FIND HER. 464 00:33:37,917 --> 00:33:42,188 HAVE YOU SEEN HER? >> I HAVEN'T OH, WAIT 465 00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:45,692 YES, NO, YES, I DID. I DID. I SAW HER -- OH, MY GOD. 466 00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:48,528 CAN YOU HOLD ON ONE SECOND >> YES, YES. >> HELLO 467 00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:51,164 JUST KIDDING >> STOP IT WHERE IS SHE 468 00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:54,668 >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST - >> NO. 469 00:33:54,668 --> 00:33:57,937 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO KEEP THE KEY, RIGHT BACK THERE ZIP, ZIP, ZIP. 470 00:33:57,937 --> 00:34:00,440 >> AH. IT'S WOMAN'S CODE. I CAN'T TELL YOU 471 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:05,378 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HE UNZIPPED YOUR MOUTH. 472 00:34:05,378 --> 00:34:07,547 SO FUNNY ILANA GLAZER THE FIRST THREE EPISODES OF 473 00:34:07,547 --> 00:34:12,052 "THE AFTERPARTY" BEGINS STREAMING TOMORROW ON APPLE TV PLUS 474 00:34:12,052 --> 00:34:15,755 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHEF JACQUES PEPIN STICK AROUND EVERYBODY 475 00:34:15,755 --> 00:34:39,779 COME ON BACK * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 476 00:34:39,779 --> 00:34:41,948 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WE ARE JOINED RIGHT NOW BY ONE 477 00:34:41,948 --> 00:34:46,453 OF THE MOST RENOWNED CHEFS IN THE WORLD. HE'S AN EMMY AND JAMES BEARD 478 00:34:46,453 --> 00:34:50,824 AWARD WINNER HIS LATEST BOOK, "ART OF THE CHICKEN," WILL BE RELEASED 479 00:34:50,824 --> 00:34:54,361 LATER THIS FALL. EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME CHEF JACQUES PEPIN 480 00:34:54,361 --> 00:34:54,394 EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME CHEF JACQUES PEPIN 481 00:34:56,096 --> 00:34:58,465 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, STOP 482 00:34:58,465 --> 00:35:02,402 I'M SO EXCITED WE'RE SO HONORED AND HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE. 483 00:35:02,402 --> 00:35:06,673 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW AND I'M HERE WITH QUESTLOVE 484 00:35:06,673 --> 00:35:10,377 RIGHT HERE I WANT TO ASK YOU A THOUSAND QUESTIONS. 485 00:35:10,377 --> 00:35:16,082 I MEAN, YOU'VE COOKED FOR WORLD LEADERS, EVERYTHING, RESTAURANTS --JULIA CHILDS SAID 486 00:35:16,082 --> 00:35:19,886 YOU'RE THE GREATEST CHEF IN AMERICA. NOW, WHAT IS THIS EXPERIENCE 487 00:35:19,886 --> 00:35:23,490 WHERE DOES THE "TONIGHT SHOW" SIT? >> THIS IS ACTUALLY NOT 488 00:35:23,490 --> 00:35:26,459 A COOKBOOK, IT'S A BOOK OF DRAWING. I HAVE 130 DRAWING OF CHICKEN 489 00:35:26,459 --> 00:35:31,164 AND STORY ABOUT CHICKEN AND EGG. >> Jimmy: YOU DID THIS RIGHT 490 00:35:31,164 --> 00:35:34,534 HERE YOU DREW THIS? >> YEAH. 491 00:35:34,534 --> 00:35:36,603 I DO I DO A LOT OF DRAWINGS, PLANNING AND SO FORTH. 492 00:35:36,603 --> 00:35:39,139 >> Jimmy: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN TEACHING 493 00:35:39,139 --> 00:35:44,277 PEOPLE FOR YEARS ALL SORTS OF -- HOW TO COOK AND EVERYTHING 494 00:35:44,277 --> 00:35:50,183 AND THEN CAN YOU TELL US WHAT THE PEPIN FOUNDATION DOES, THE JACQUES PEPIN FOUNDATION 495 00:35:50,183 --> 00:35:53,353 >> WE TRYING TO WORK WITH COMMUNITY KITCHENS, WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN KIND OF 496 00:35:53,353 --> 00:35:59,092 DISENFRANCHISED BY LIFE. PEOPLE WHO ARE COMING OUT OF JAIL, FORMER DRUG ADDICTS, 497 00:35:59,092 --> 00:36:03,830 HOMELESS PEOPLE, EVEN VETERANS, AND SO FORTH SO IT'S NOT YOUNG PEOPLE 498 00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:08,535 30, 40, 50 YEARS OLD MY SON-IN-LAW, MY DAUGHTER ARE DOING IT 499 00:36:08,535 --> 00:36:12,138 THEY ARE THE GREATEST. I WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE IT WITHOUT THEM 500 00:36:12,138 --> 00:36:14,207 >> Jimmy: WOW, IT'S AMAZING WHAT YOU DO. >> THANK YOU 501 00:36:14,207 --> 00:36:21,648 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: NOW, RIGHT NOW I WAS JUST HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE. 502 00:36:21,648 --> 00:36:24,484 I WAS ACTUALLY JUST GOING TO SIT AND INTERVIEW YOU AND THEY SAID, "WELL, LET'S COOK 503 00:36:24,484 --> 00:36:28,555 SOMETHING. CAN YOU TEACH US -- WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TEACH US HOW TO DO 504 00:36:28,555 --> 00:36:33,693 OR SHOW US HOW TO DO >> I THINK AN OMELET I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO 505 00:36:33,693 --> 00:36:35,962 MAKE A CLASSIC FRENCH OMELET >> Jimmy: CLASSIC FRENCH OMELET 506 00:36:35,962 --> 00:36:38,164 >> YES, IT'S A BIT DIFFERENT THE FIRST THING WE DO. >> Jimmy: YES. 507 00:36:38,164 --> 00:36:43,937 >> WE PUT THAT ON. SO, YOU JUST BREAK IT DOWN ON ITS OWN AND PUT A PIECE OF 508 00:36:43,937 --> 00:36:48,208 BUTTER IN THERE. >> Jimmy: YOU SHOWED ME HOW TO CRACK AN EGG, BY THE WAY, THE 509 00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:52,078 RIGHT WAY. >> OH. >> Jimmy: WELL YOU SAID DON'T 510 00:36:52,078 --> 00:36:54,080 BREAK IT ON THE EDGE DON'T CRACK IT ON THE EDGE OF THE BOWL 511 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:58,485 >> EXACTLY >> Jimmy: CRACK IT ON THE FLAT BECAUSE LESS SHELL 512 00:36:58,485 --> 00:37:01,654 >> YEAH, BECAUSE YOU PUT THE SHELL INSIDE, YOU TRADE BACTERIA VERY OFTEN OR YOU 513 00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:04,624 BREAK THE YOLK >> Jimmy: YOU PUT THREE IN THERE. 514 00:37:04,624 --> 00:37:07,660 CHECK THIS OUT RIGHT HERE. LOOK AT THIS WATCH, WATCH 515 00:37:07,660 --> 00:37:09,763 READY? WATCH THIS >> WOW, HE DOES IT WITH ONE 516 00:37:09,763 --> 00:37:17,404 HAND LOOK AT THAT AND YOU WANT TO BEAT IT ENOUGH 517 00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:20,674 SO YOU DON'T HAVE LONG STRING OF EGG WHITES, YOU KNOW? >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY 518 00:37:20,674 --> 00:37:27,580 >> OKAY. SO, NOW MY BUTTER IS MELTED. >> Jimmy: OH, I DIDN'T EVEN PUT 519 00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:29,549 BUTTER IN THERE. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT BUTTER IN THERE 520 00:37:29,549 --> 00:37:32,152 OF COURSE. DID YOU PUT BUTTER IN THERE? >> Questlove: I PUT BUTTER IN 521 00:37:32,152 --> 00:37:34,688 IT >> YOU COOK WITH BOTH HANDS, EH 522 00:37:34,688 --> 00:37:37,624 >> Jimmy: WHAT IN THE WORLD? SLOW DOWN! WHAT'S GOING ON? 523 00:37:37,624 --> 00:37:42,328 ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: BUTTER'S IN THERE. 524 00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:46,066 YOU'RE GETTING SOME VOLUME YOU'RE GETTING SOME VOLUME WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? 525 00:37:46,066 --> 00:37:49,336 HOLD ON. BUTTER OUT WAIT, I'M PUTTING EGG IN 526 00:37:49,336 --> 00:37:51,938 WHAT DID YOU JUST MIX THAT WITH >> NOW PUT SOME SPINACH INSIDE 527 00:37:51,938 --> 00:37:56,309 TO -- NOW I -- >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU MAKING THAT NOISE WITH? 528 00:37:56,309 --> 00:37:58,945 QUEST, IS YOURS LOOKING LIKE THIS >> Questlove: NO 529 00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:06,686 >> YEAH, YOU -- THIS WAY >> Questlove: WAIT, ARE YOU PLAYING DRUMS RIGHT NOW? 530 00:38:06,686 --> 00:38:09,122 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE AN OMELET. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN FRANCE, 531 00:38:09,122 --> 00:38:11,725 QUEST? >> THAT'S IT THAT'S IT! 532 00:38:11,725 --> 00:38:17,197 NOW YOU FOLD IT. NOW YOU FOLD IT. OKAY, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH 533 00:38:17,197 --> 00:38:21,234 [ AUDIENCE OHS ] >> Jimmy: WE HAVE MORE BUTTER IN THAT ONE. 534 00:38:21,234 --> 00:38:26,806 OH, LOOK AT THIS AND THEN -- CHEESE >> Questlove: OH, I'M SUPPOSED 535 00:38:26,806 --> 00:38:28,775 TO NOT EAT THE SHELLS, OKAY. >> Jimmy: YEP, AND THERE YOU GO 536 00:38:28,775 --> 00:38:31,411 A LITTLE CHEESE ON TOP >> Questlove: SORRY ABOUT THAT >> Jimmy: RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. 537 00:38:31,411 --> 00:38:34,481 LOOK AT THIS IT KIND OF LOOKS SIMILAR RAN OUT OF PORK. 538 00:38:34,481 --> 00:38:39,919 >> YOU CALL THAT AN OMELET >> Jimmy: WHICH ONE WAS BY THE CHEF AND WHICH ONE WAS DONE BY 539 00:38:39,919 --> 00:38:46,826 ME [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: HE MADE SCRAMBLED 540 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:48,661 EGGS >> Questlove: HE CHOSE MINE THOUGH 541 00:38:48,661 --> 00:38:50,964 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I LOVE SCRAMBLED EGGS THIS WAY. 542 00:38:50,964 --> 00:38:53,600 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 543 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,303 >> Jimmy: HE LOVES SCRAMBLED EGGS THAT WAY. THE ONE AND ONLY CHEF -- 544 00:38:57,303 --> 00:39:02,442 >> CAN I TO TEST YOURS >> Jimmy: YOU WANT TO TRY MINE >> I HAVE TO TRY YOURS 545 00:39:02,442 --> 00:39:08,248 >> Jimmy: DON'T ANSWER YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. LET ME TRY YOURS 546 00:39:08,248 --> 00:39:11,618 >> I THINK YOURS TASTES BETTER THAN MINE. >> Jimmy: HUH-UH 547 00:39:11,618 --> 00:39:15,455 THAT'S THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 548 00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:22,662 JACQUES PEPIN! OH, NOW YOU'RE -- COME BACK WHENEVER YOU LIKE. 549 00:39:22,662 --> 00:39:26,833 I LOVE YOU JACQUES PEPIN! HIS BOOK, "ART OF THE CHICKEN," 550 00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:29,903 WILL BE AVAILABLE SEPTEMBER 13th TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE 551 00:39:29,903 --> 00:39:34,274 JACQUES PEPIN FOUNDATION, GO TO JP.FOUNDATION. MY THANKS TO KEVIN JAMES, 552 00:39:34,274 --> 00:39:38,311 ILANA GLAZER, CHEF JACQUES PEPIN >> THANK YOU 553 00:39:38,311 --> 00:39:40,814 HAPPY COOKING EVERYONE >> Jimmy: AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE. 554 00:39:40,814 --> 00:39:43,783 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 555 00:39:43,783 --> 00:39:47,387 GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY CHEERS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE