1 00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,612 Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:20,320 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,989 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - TIFFANY HADDISH, PARIS HILTON, 4 00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:31,731 MUSICAL GUEST, EARL SWEATSHIRT, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW 5 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:41,374 Questlove: 1590 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 6 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:41,408 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:45,578 --> 00:01:01,561 * * 8 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,697 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS! COME ON! 9 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:07,701 THAT'S A GREAT CROWD WELCOME! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 10 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,970 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. YOU'RE HERE. 11 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:16,543 YOU MADE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 12 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,378 WELL, GUYS, THIS WEEKEND WAS THE DIVISIONAL ROUND OF THE NFL PLAYOFFS, AND AFTER ALL FOUR 13 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,280 GAMES WERE DECIDED ON THE FINAL PLAY, PEOPLE ARE CALLING IT THE GREATEST PLAYOFF WEEKEND OF ALL 14 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:28,822 TIME WELL, EVERYONE FROM BUFFALO, GREEN BAY, TENNESSEE, AND TAMPA 15 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:32,492 ARE LIKE NOT, "EH, NOT SO MUCH." THAT'S RIGHT, TOM BRADY AND THE 16 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:36,663 DEFENDING CHAMPION TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS WERE KNOCKED OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. 17 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:40,633 BRADY IS REALLY NOT USED TO LOSING HE NORMALLY COMMUTES HOME VIA 18 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:44,104 PARADE [ LAUGHTER ] NOW THERE ARE REPORTS THAT 19 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:48,174 BRADY ISN'T SURE IF HE'LL PLAY NEXT YEAR. THEN TODAY GISELE SAID, "WE'RE 20 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:50,977 INVITED TO DINNER ON SUNDAY WITH OUR NEIGHBORS." AND BRADY WAS LIKE, "I'M 21 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,581 PLAYING NEXT YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, BRADY SAID HE 22 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,250 MIGHT RETIRE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIS KIDS. THEN HIS KIDS WERE LIKE, "DAD, 23 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:01,855 WE'RE 35 DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO. [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,690 YEAH, IT WAS A WEEKEND OF UPSETS ON SATURDAY, AARON RODGERS AND 25 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:10,597 THE GREEN BAY PACKERS HOSTED THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ers AND LOST, IN GREEN BAY 26 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:18,672 IN OTHER WORDS, AARON RODGERS FAILED HIS AT-HOME TEST. [ LAUGHTER ] 27 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:23,309 AND AHEAD OF HIS LOSS TO THE 49ers, RODGERS CRITICIZED THE CDC, PRESIDENT BIDEN, AND THE 28 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:27,614 FAKE WHITE HOUSE IN AN INTERVIEW WITH ESPN. WHAT A YEAR FOR RODGERS. 29 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,616 HE COULD BE THE FIRST PERSON NAMED MVP AND GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA. 30 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:33,186 [ LAUGHTER ] DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS PRESIDENT BIDEN AND 31 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,922 BERNIE SANDERS ARE IN A BIT OF A FEUD AFTER BIDEN TRIED TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM THE FAR 32 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:41,895 LEFT BY SAYING, "I'M NOT BERNIE SANDERS." THEN BERNIE SNAPPED BACK 33 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:48,802 SAYING, "I'M NOT JOE BIDEN." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IF THINGS START TO GET 34 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,237 PHYSICAL, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE SEPARATED BY A LIGHT BREEZE 35 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:58,878 [ LAUGHTER ] USUALLY WHEN GUYS THIS OLD FIGHT, IT'S OVER A PARKING 36 00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:04,384 SPACE OUTSIDE THEIR WATER AEROBICS CLASS [ LAUGHTER ] 37 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,386 NO ONE SAW THIS FEUD COMING. IT'S RARE TO SEE THE TWO MUPPETS FROM THE BALCONY HECKLE 38 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:14,094 EACH OTHER [ LAUGHTER ] WELL THIS WAS PRETTY COOL. 39 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,463 JANUARY IS NATIONAL BLOOD DONOR MONTH. SO IF YOU DONATE BLOOD, YOU CAN 40 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,966 GET A DOZEN FREE DONUTS FROM KRISPY KREME OR A FREE COFFEE FROM DUNKIN' 41 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:24,437 Steve: WAIT, SO YOU CAN DONATE FOR A DONUT Jimmy: YEAH 42 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,506 YOU GET A DOZEN DONUTS IF YOU DONATE BUT IF YOU DO NOT, YOU DO NOT 43 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,609 GET A DONUT IF YOU DO NOT DONATE Steve: WHAT'S THE DUE DATE? 44 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,678 Jimmy: DON'T KNOW BUT IF YOU DO NOT DONATE BY THE DONATE DUE DATE, YOU DO NOT GET 45 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,881 A DOZEN DONUTS [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: DARN IT. 46 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,118 Jimmy: DARN IT? Steve: YEAH, I DO ALL MY DONUT DINNING AT DUNKIN' 47 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,653 Jimmy: BUT DUDE, DON'T WORRY. DUNKIN' IS DOING DECAF IF YOU 48 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:43,623 DONATE Steve: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME, YOU DO NOT GET A DONUT IF YOU 49 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,525 DO OR DO NOT DONATE, BUT IF YOU DO GET SOME DECAF YOU DONATE AND YOU GET TO DINE OUT AT 50 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:52,665 DUNKIN'? Jimmy: DUH. IF YOU DO NOT DONATE, YOU DO 51 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,735 NOT GET DONUTS BUT DON'T NOT DONATE AT DUNKIN', BECAUSE DUNKIN' GIVES 52 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,838 DECAF IF YOU DINE OUT AND DONATE BY THE DUE DATE Steve: DUDE 53 00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,474 Jimmy: DOPE Steve: DONATE Jimmy: YOU'LL DO IT 54 00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:04,044 Steve: NO, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE BLOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] 55 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,647 I'VE GOT MAD COW DISEASE Jimmy: OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT LET'S MOVE ON. 56 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:16,623 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT GUYS GET THIS. 57 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,525 THE FBI HAS SAID AN UNRULY PASSENGER ON A DELTA FLIGHT WAS TAKEN INTO CUSTODY AFTER HE 58 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:23,163 REFUSED TO WEAR A MASK AND MOONED A FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND OTHER PASSENGERS 59 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:30,603 THE MAN ULTIMATELY APOLOGIZED AND THEN RETURNED TO THE COCKPIT TO FLY THE PLANE 60 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:35,342 [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY RESEARCHERS HAVE FOUND THAT DRINKING RED WINE 61 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:41,081 CAN LOWER YOUR RISK OF COVID INFECTION. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 62 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,851 RED WINE CURES COVID THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SIGN YOUR AUNT WOULD HANG IN HER KITCHEN 63 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,854 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT RED WINE CAN LOWER YOUR RISK OF 64 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,656 COVID, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE IT CAN ALSO LOWER YOUR PANTS ON A DELTA 65 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,992 FLIGHT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 66 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,627 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 67 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,329 * 68 00:04:56,329 --> 00:05:13,580 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 69 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:17,183 Jimmy: HAPPY MONDAY, EVERYBODY. IT IS MONDAY 70 00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:19,419 WE'RE EXCITED TO BE BACK WE'VE GOT A GREAT WEEK OF SHOWS AHEAD. 71 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:25,692 JAMIE DORNAN WILL BE HERE, HALLE BERRY AND KEVIN JAMES WILL ALL BE HERE THIS WEEK 72 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,795 BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. SHE STARS IN THE NEW SHOW "THE 73 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,931 AFTERPARTY," WHICH PREMIERES THIS FRIDAY ON APPLE TV PLUS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST OUT THERE, 74 00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:34,968 TIFFANY HADDISH IS JOINING US TONIGHT. Steve: COME ON! 75 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:39,239 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: PLUS, YOU CAN SEE THE TWO-EPISODE FINALE OF HER 76 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:45,178 SERIES "PARIS IN LOVE" THURSDAY ON PEACOCK, PARIS HILTON IS HERE 77 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:50,383 Steve: WHOA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: AND WE'VE GOT GREAT 78 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:57,490 MUSIC FROM EARL SWEATSHIRT Steve: WHOA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 79 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,826 Jimmy: GUYS, IT IS TIME FOR "BAD SIGNS." HERE WE GO 80 00:05:59,826 --> 00:05:59,859 "BAD SIGNS." HERE WE GO 81 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:11,237 * Steve: BAD SIGNS IS FILMED 82 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:15,508 BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. Jimmy: THESE ARE PICTURES OF FUNNY OR WEIRD SIGNS THAT YOU 83 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:20,347 GUYS SAW AND SENT INTO US. And THESE ARE ALL REAL THIS FIRST ONE WAS SENT IN BY 84 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:25,452 MATT ZALECK IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA. IT'S A SIGN FOR A NEW 85 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:32,759 RESTAURANT THAT HE SPOTTED LET'S SEE WHAT IT SAID IT'S CALLED JUST TACOS AND 86 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,795 MORE THAT'S IT. Steve: THAT'S ALL YOU GOT 87 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,932 YOU GOT TACOS? Jimmy: WE GOT BURGERS TOO YOU GOT PIZZA. 88 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,801 Steve: OH Jimmy: WHATEVER YOU WANT. Steve: DO YOU HAVE SUSHI? 89 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:44,204 Jimmy: JUST TACOS YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME, RIGHT? 90 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,172 Steve: SUSHI? Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE WE HAVE SUSHI 91 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,707 YEAH THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM PATRICK BENDER IN BAYONNE, 92 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:49,809 NEW JERSEY HEY. Steve: HEY. 93 00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:53,546 HE WAS SHOPPING AT RITE AID AND SPOTTED THIS AMAZING DEAL. LOOK AT THIS 94 00:06:53,546 --> 00:07:01,021 "BUY ZERO GET ZERO AT ZERO PERCENT. [ LAUGHTER ] 95 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,790 Steve: WHERE DO I SIGN? Jimmy: THAT'S A DEAL. THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY 96 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,793 BRADLEY NELL IN DALLAS, TEXAS WHO WAS SHOPPING IN A DEPARTMENT STORE AND SAW THIS 97 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:12,165 SIGN "FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, AN ELEVATOR IS LOCATED IN CHINA." 98 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:16,036 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S SO SIMPLE Steve: WHAT DO YOU DO 99 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,871 Jimmy: GO TO THE AIRPORT, IT'S AN INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT, SO YOU GOT TO GO A COUPLE HOURS 100 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,639 AHEAD OF TIME, AND GO ALL THE WAY TO CHINA AND THEN YOU CAN TAKE THE ELEVATOR. 101 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:23,043 Steve: OH, MY GOD Jimmy: VERY CONVENIENT. THIS NEXT ONE IS SENT IN FROM 102 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,479 KATE VAN PERREN IN GEORGIA SHE WAS OUT TO EAT WITH HER KIDS AND SPOTTED THIS GREAT 103 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:32,752 OFFER. "YOUR FAVORITE KIDS EAT FREE ON SUNDAYS. 104 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,055 [ LAUGHTER ] "NOT SO FAST YOU CAN GO." 105 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,957 [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: "YOU CAN GO TO JUST TACOS. 106 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,593 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "YOU CAN GO TO JUST TACOS. 107 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,861 THERE'S MORE THEY HAVE MORE THAN JUST TACOS. 108 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,631 THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM AUSTIN HAVEN IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN 109 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,701 HE WAS VACATIONING IN AUSTRALIA AND SPOTTED THIS SIGN ON A TRAM HE WAS ABOUT TO GET ON 110 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:53,473 IT SAYS, "TOUCHING WIRES CAUSES INSTANT DEATH. $200 FINE. 111 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:58,645 [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: I DON'T WANT TO PAY THAT $200. 112 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:03,116 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: GOOD LUCK COLLECTING Steve: YEAH 113 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:06,886 Jimmy: THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY RAINER, FROM DRESDEN, GERMANY 114 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,888 HE WAS EATING AT A RESTAURANT AND WENT TO USE THE BATHROOM AND HE SAW A SOCIAL DISTANCING 115 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:15,128 SIGN TELLING YOU WHERE TO STAND. LOOK AT THIS 116 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:20,734 [ LAUGHTER ] FOR SPIDER-MAN, MAYBE. Steve: YEAH 117 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:25,105 Jimmy: NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY JUDD KIRK IN YORBA LINDA, CALIFORNIA 118 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,173 IT'S A NEW BUSINESS THAT HE SPOTTED IN A STRIP MALL NEAR HIS HOUSE. 119 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:34,047 IT SAYS, "PEDIATRIC TATTOOS. Steve: OH [ LAUGHTER ] 120 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,583 Jimmy: KIDS ARE GETS ARE GETTING INTO IT. YEAH 121 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,651 THEY LOVE IT Steve: ONLY FOR YOUR FAVORITE KIDS. 122 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:42,589 Jimmy: OH, YEAH THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN MY JOSH MARCHANT IN UTAH. 123 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:45,625 HE WAS VISITING A PARK AND SAW THIS SIGN. LOOK AT THIS 124 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:52,499 "PLEASE DO NOT SIT ON FENCE. Steve: OUCH Jimmy: HOW COULD YOU 125 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,068 POSSIBLY SIT ON THAT FENCE [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: LOOK AT THOSE CURVED 126 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,371 BLADES Jimmy: IT'S ALMOST LIKE A A FISH HOOK. 127 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,241 IT'S A CRUEL FENCE THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY HOWARD TANNER IN ADRIAN, 128 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:04,811 MICHIGAN HE WAS SHOPPING IN A PHARMACY AND SPOTTED THIS SIGN RIGHT 129 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:10,550 HERE "FUN GIFT IDEAS. LET'S SEE WHAT THEY HAD. 130 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,054 THERE'S A BOWL OF VASELINE [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: OH! 131 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,023 FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SIT ON THE FENCE LL Jimmy: OH, YEAH. 132 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:23,596 * FINALLY, THIS LAST ONE WAS FROM MICHAELA STRAUSBA IN 133 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:27,534 INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA. SHE SPOTTED IT WHILE DRIVING THIS PLACE IS CALLED, 134 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:31,504 "BEAUTIFUL BEGINNINGS CLOTHING SALE." [ LAUGHTER ] 135 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:36,443 THERE YOU GO THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "BAD SIGNS." 136 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,944 IF YOU SEE A FUNNY SIGN, EMAIL IT TO US AT BADSIGNS@TONIGHTSHOW.COM 137 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,480 WE MIGHT PUT IT ON THE SHOW. STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 138 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,683 TIFFANY HADDISH, EVERYBODY COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 139 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:49,789 * IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE, LIKE, DANCING. 140 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:55,862 YOU KNOW, EATING ON SOME FRIES AND DANCING, AND YOU LOOK OVER AND THERE GOES RIHANNA 141 00:09:55,862 --> 00:10:00,166 "HEY, LUPITA, WHAT'S UP, GIRL? OH, LEONARDO WHAT'S GOING ON LEONARDO 142 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,081 Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN EMMY AND GRAMMY WINNING COMEDIENNE WHO STARS IN 143 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:22,655 THE NEW SHOW, "THE AFTERPARTY," WHICH PREMIERES FRIDAY ON APPLE TV PLUS. 144 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,625 TV PLUS. HERE IS TIFFANY HADDISH! 145 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:26,826 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 146 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,728 * Jimmy: OH, MAKING AN ENTRANCE 147 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:31,231 COME ON! OH, MY -- [ LAUGHTER ] 148 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,034 MAKING AN ENTRANCE COME ON. ONLY YOU 149 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:39,305 I LOVE YOU, BUD. WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW I LOVE YOU TOO, JIMMY 150 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,975 Jimmy: YOU KNOW, TIFFANY, I WAS VERY EXCITED TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW 151 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:46,780 YOU'VE BEEN BOOKED FOR MONTHS. WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT "THE AFTERPARTY." 152 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,782 AND I KNOW YOU'VE JUST HAD A A VERY PUBLIC BREAK UP, AND -- AND THEN I SAW YOU WERE ON THE 153 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:52,085 NEWS LAST WEEK AND SO I GO, "HEY, YOU KNOW -- AND HOPEFULLY YOU KNOW THIS, 154 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:56,256 THAT I'M YOUR FRIEND." SO I LOVE YOU. SO YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME ON THE 155 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,459 SHOW BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS CANCEL ON US AS WELL IF YOU WANT TO 156 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,828 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT YOU WERE LIKE, "NO, I'M A PRO. 157 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:06,766 I'M GOING TO COME ON." SO I APPRECIATE YOU COMING ON. I MEAN, CAN YOU -- 158 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,568 I APPRECIATE YOU HAVING ME, JIMMY. THANK YOU FOR, YOU KNOW, 159 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,571 ALLOWING ME TO BE HERE Jimmy: CAN YOU TALK ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED OR WANT 160 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:17,944 TO TALK ABOUT IT OR NO WELL, I CAN SAY THIS, JIMMY Jimmy: OKAY 161 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:23,950 I'VE BEEN PRAYING TO GOD TO SEND ME A NEW MAN, A GOOD MAN. [ LAUGHTER ] 162 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:27,721 AND GOD WENT AHEAD AND SENT ME FOUR IN A UNIFORM. [ LAUGHTER ] 163 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:31,791 I WASN'T EXPECTING IT. WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT AT ALL. [ LAUGHTER ] 164 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,294 Jimmy: OKAY AND NOW, I'VE GOT A REALLY GREAT LAWYER, AND WE'RE GOING 165 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,797 TO WORK IT OUT Jimmy: YEAH AND I GOT TO GIVE MY -- MY 166 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:42,135 ASKING OF THINGS TO GOD A LITTLE BETTER. Jimmy: YEAH, GOT TO BE 167 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,970 A LITTLE CLEARER [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S VERY GOOD 168 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:48,308 I'M VERY GLAD YOU'RE HERE TONIGHT. I UNDERSTAND IT WAS A TOUGH, 169 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:53,613 TOUGH WEEK FOR YOU I MEAN, YOU LOST A FEW PEOPLE VERY CLOSE TO YOU. 170 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:57,784 I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT. YEAH, YEAH. I MEAN, ONE OF OUR MUTUAL 171 00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,586 FRIENDS, BOB SAGET, WHO WAS, LIKE, A BIG MENTOR TO ME, A BIG BROTHER, FATHER FIGURE, HE -- 172 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:09,829 HE MEANT A LOT TO ME AND -- Jimmy: FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY 173 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,931 DUDE FUNNY MAN HE WAS THE FIRST WHITE MAN TO 174 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,467 EVER TELL ME, "JUST BE YOURSELF JUST BE WHO YOU ARE, TIFFANY 175 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,404 [ LAUGHTER ] DON'T WORRY ABOUT NOTHING. JUST BE YOU. 176 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,472 Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? AND THAT WAS HUGE FOR ME. AND THEN MY GRANDMA PASSED 177 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:23,276 AWAY AND THAT -- SHE SAVED MY LIFE. AND, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS -- 178 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:27,614 THAT'S MY HEART. LIKE -- SHE WAS, LIKE, MY SOUL MATE 179 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,416 Jimmy: YEAH AND THAT -- THAT'S BEEN A A REALLY HARD TO PROCESS ALL 180 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:35,588 THIS, YOU KNOW, GRIEF. Jimmy: YEAH IT'S GRIEF. 181 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,490 Jimmy: WELL, IF YOU WERE HERE, I WOULD -- I WOULD GIVE YOU A HUG, AND I WOULD SAY, "IT 182 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,993 ONLY GETS BETTER." YOU KNOW AND THESE ARE TOUGH TIMES AND 183 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:44,564 YOU'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH IT AND I LOVE THAT YOU CAME ON OUR SHOW 184 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,600 THIS IS THE FIRST STEP I LOVE THAT YOU DID THIS I'M LIKE -- IT TAKES A LOT OF 185 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,704 GUTS SO I APPRECIATE THAT YOU'RE AWESOME, BUDDY. 186 00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,606 THANK YOU THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 187 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,742 Jimmy: WE'RE COMEDIANS. WE'VE GOT TO MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH. 188 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:58,411 WE'VE GOT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY RIGHT WELL, ALSO, YOU KNOW, JUST 189 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,247 BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE, EVEN THOUGH IT'S THROUGH ZOOM, IT'S, LIKE, THROUGH THE ENERGY, 190 00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:06,920 IT'S -- IT BRINGS ME JOY Jimmy: GOOD I MISS YOU. 191 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,589 Jimmy: I MISS YOU TOO AND THIS IS HOW I GET TO SEE YOU. 192 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,492 Jimmy: TAKE THIS -- TAKE THIS AND, HOPEFULLY, MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT, YOU KNOW. 193 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,462 OH, I'M DEFINITELY MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF IT. MY NEXT SPECIAL IS GOING TO BE 194 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,430 ABOUT GRIEF. Jimmy: IT IS? AND IT'S GOING TO BE 195 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,333 HILARIOUS. Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. I LOVE THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS. 196 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,736 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH. BECAUSE FIGURING OUT HOW TO 197 00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:25,872 PROCESS IT YOU KNOW, PROCESS STUFF. KIDS GET TO CRY WHENEVER THEY 198 00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:30,443 WANT TO, WHEREVER THEY WANT TO AS AN ADULT, YOU CAN'T DO THAT [ LAUGHTER ] 199 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,779 YOU CAN'T JUST CRY AT WORK LIKE THAT THEY SEND YOU HOME 200 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,749 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT'S TRUE. THEY SEND YOU HOME 201 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:39,686 I MEAN, I NEED MY MONEY Jimmy: THEY DO. WELL, DO IT. 202 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,888 MAKE IT SPECIAL, AND WIN ANOTHER GRAMMY, WILL YOU CONGRATS ON -- 203 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,623 OH, I SURE WILL Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING THAT GRAMMY, BY THE 204 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,959 WAY, BUD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU 205 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:51,297 Jimmy: THAT'S -- A GRAMMY IS A REALLY COOL AWARD. OUT OF ALL THE AWARDS, THAT 206 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,933 ONE'S, LIKE, COOL. BECAUSE YOU, KIND OF, GREW UP -- 207 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,902 IT IS IT IS. YOU CAN DRINK OUT OF IT. 208 00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,805 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY RIGHT. EXACTLY RIGHT. 209 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,507 YEAH, I -- BUT YOU, AS A A COMEDIAN, I DON'T KNOW, YOU DON'T EVEN DREAM ABOUT WINNING 210 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,811 A GRAMMY YOU THINK OF, LIKE, MICHAEL JACKSON OR SOMEBODY OR, 211 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:08,782 YOU KNOW, WHITNEY HOUSTON OR SOMEBODY WINNING ALL THESE GRAMMYS. 212 00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:11,551 YOU DON'T THINK THAT A COMEDIAN IS GOING TO WIN ONE AND THEN YOU HAVE ONE 213 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,920 NEVER NEVER. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I WAS 214 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,157 NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY FOR MY AUDIO BOOK FOR READING OUT LOUD 215 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,793 I WAS LIKE, "WHAT? WHAT?" LIKE, "YOU CAN GET A GRAMMY FOR 216 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:23,329 READING OUT LOUD?" [ LAUGHTER ] AND I CALLED MY DRAMA TEACHER 217 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:27,233 IMMEDIATELY, MY HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA TEACHER WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO READ. 218 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,903 AND I WAS LIKE, "GIRL, YOU DID A GOOD JOB THIS JUST GOT NOMINATED FOR 219 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:33,773 A GRAMMY FOR READING OUT LOUD. Jimmy: "I'M A GRAMMY-NOMINATED READER. 220 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:37,877 THAT'S A GRAMMY-NOMINATED READER [ LAUGHTER ] 221 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,679 YES Jimmy: I READ SOMETHING FUNNY IN ONE OF YOUR INTERVIEWS 222 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:43,583 RECENTLY YOU SAID YOU WANT TO MAKE 80 FILMS BY THE TIME YOU'RE 50 223 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,787 YES BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE IN ALL OF THEM, OKAY? 224 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,990 I JUST WANT TO MAKE THEM I WANT TO BE A PART OF THE MOVIE-MAKING PROCESS IN SOME 225 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:57,297 WAY. 80 OF THEM BY THE TIME I'M 50. Jimmy: WHY 80 226 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,100 BECAUSE IT'S A NICE WELL-ROUNDED NUMBER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 227 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,901 AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT, YOU KNOW, IF YOU MAKE 80 FILMS THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE -- 228 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:10,744 YOU'RE AN OFFICIAL ENTERTAINER YOU ARE, LIKE, THE THING [ LAUGHTER ] 229 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,113 Jimmy: 80 I LOVE THAT. I LOVE THAT YOU'RE DOING THAT. 230 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,915 BECAUSE I SAW -- "THE AFTERPARTY," BY THE WAY, SUPER FUNNY. 231 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,818 OH, MY GOSH. I MEAN, WHAT A TALENTED CAST YOU SENT OVER A COUPLE 232 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:25,558 PICTURES THIS IS YOU AS A CAMERA OPERATOR ON "THE AFTERPARTY. 233 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:29,496 YEAH, YEAH, SEE [ LAUGHTER ] CAMERA OPERATOR ALREADY. 234 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,731 Jimmy: DOES THIS COUNT? DOES THIS COUNT AS ONE OF THE -- 235 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,700 YES, THAT COUNTS. TO ME THAT COUNTS. YOU KNOW, I PUT IN AN INVOICE 236 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,935 FOR THE CHECK FOR CAMERA OPERATOR [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 237 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,706 BUT THEY DIDN'T PAY ME FOR THAT PART BUT I PUT IN AN INVOICE Jimmy: HOW ABOUT -- HOW 238 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,208 ABOUT BOOM OPERATOR? BOOM OPERATOR [ LAUGHTER ] 239 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:46,680 THAT'S, LIKE, I'VE GOT THESE STRONG ARMS. YOU KNOW, "BAM!" 240 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,349 YEAH Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "AFTERPARTY" IF YOU CAN. 241 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,584 BECAUSE -- HOW ABOUT THIS? WHAT WAS YOUR BEST AFTER PARTY YOU'VE EVER BEEN TO IN YOUR 242 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:55,989 LIFE BEST AFTER PARTY I'VE EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE WOULD HAVE 243 00:15:55,989 --> 00:16:03,763 TO BE THE JAY-Z/BEYONCE GOLD PARTY AFTER THE OSCARS Jimmy: OH 244 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,432 THAT'S THE BEST PARTY I'VE EVER BEEN TO BECAUSE, FIRST OF ALL, GOOD 245 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:09,469 MUSIC, GOOD FOOD Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT AND THEN, IT'S SOMETHING 246 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,572 ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE, LIKE, DANCING. YOU KNOW, EATING ALL SOME FRIES 247 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,208 AND DANCING AND YOU LOOK OVER AND THERE GOES RIHANNA "HEY, HEY LUPITA, WHAT'S UP, 248 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:21,247 GIRL OH, LEONARDO WHAT'S GOING ON, LEONARDO? 249 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:24,884 WE READY HEY! OH, BEYONCE DANCING WITH ME. 250 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,554 ME AND BEYONCE DANCING [ LAUGHTER ] WE GETTING IT. 251 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,489 WE GETTING IT. AND MOST PEOPLE WOULD BE INTIMIDATED TO DANCE NEXT TO 252 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,157 BEYONCE, BUT I FEEL LIKE BEYONCE IS INTIMIDATED DANCING NEXT TO ME BECAUSE I GOT THE 253 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:37,330 MOVES. OKAY [ LAUGHTER ] 254 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,567 I BEEN KILLING IT ON THE DANCE FLOOR. MOSTLY MY PINKY TOE. 255 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,336 Jimmy: THAT'S CRAZY SLRSRS SHE WAS LIKE, "HERE YOU GO, 256 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,072 GIRL YOU AIN'T GOT NO SHOES ON. HERE YOU GO. 257 00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,641 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S FUN 258 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,745 I WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THE SHOW AND SEE A CLIP FROM IT WHEN WE COME BACK. 259 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,513 MORE WITH TIFFANY HADDISH AFTER THE BREAK, EVERYBODY COME ON BACK 260 00:16:53,513 --> 00:17:08,661 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 261 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,731 EVERYBODY. WE ARE HANGING OUT WITH TIFFANY HADDISH. 262 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:18,038 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HER NEW SHOW, "THE AFTERPARTY," PREMIERES THIS FRIDAY ON APPLE 263 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:23,076 TV PLUS. THE SHOW TAKES PLACE ON THE NIGHT OF A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION 264 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,578 HAVE YOU EVER GONE BACK TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION? OR GONE TO ONE 265 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,681 OH, DEFINITELY. I'VE BEEN TO MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS 266 00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:31,718 IT'S -- THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW YOU MADE IT, JIMMY THEY SCHEDULED THE REUNIONS 267 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:36,656 AROUND MY SCHEDULE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THEY CALLED ME LIKE, "TIFFANY, 268 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:39,559 YOU COMING TO THE REUNION? I'M LIKE, "WHEN IS IT? WHEN IS IT?" 269 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,928 THEY'RE LIKE, "WHEN ARE YOU AVAILABLE? [ LAUGHTER ] 270 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:45,065 "SHE MADE IT, SHE READY. OKAY, SO HERE ARE MY DAYS. WE EVEN HAD ONE OF THE 271 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:49,769 REUNIONS, OUR FIFTEENTH REUNION, THE YEAR 15, WE HAD IT AT THE COMEDY CLUB 272 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,272 I WAS LIKE, "OH, THAT NIGHT, I'VE GOT TO DO A SHOW. THEY WERE LIKE, "WHERE'S THE 273 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,407 SHOW AT? I WAS LIKE, "FLAPPERS IN BURBANK. 274 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,910 THEY WERE LIKE, "THAT'S WHERE THE REUNION WILL BE. Jimmy: NO WAY 275 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,846 [ LAUGHTER ] SO YOU GOT TO SEE EVERYONE FROM YOUR HIGH SCHOOL IN THE CROWD? 276 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,917 YEAH, EVERY -- IT WAS EVERYBODY FROM HIGH SCHOOL SO IT, KIND OF, TURNED, INTO, 277 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:07,821 LIKE, AN IMPROMPTU ROAST [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. 278 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,656 SO, IT WAS GOOD Jimmy: I'VE DONE THAT TO. I REMEMBER DOING STAND UP AND 279 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,726 MY PRINCIPAL CAME TO SEE ME DO STAND UP AND I WAS LIKE -- AND HE WAS 280 00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:16,663 LIKE, "HI, YOU REMEMBER ME OR WHATEVER?" AND I GO, "OH, MY -- YEAH. 281 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:20,033 AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T HAVE ANY MATERIAL TO MAKE FUN OF YOU, BUT I WILL." 282 00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:21,668 YOU DIDN'T MAKE FUN OF THE PRINCIPAL? Jimmy: I COULDN'T -- I 283 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,337 COULDN'T -- I DIDN'T KNOW MATERIAL ABOUT THE PRINCIPAL HE LIKED ME. 284 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:28,041 HE WAS A GREAT -- I WAS, LIKE, THE KID IN SCHOOL THAT I -- IF I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE AND THEN 285 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,909 THE PRINCIPAL WOULD BE LIKE, "WHAT DID YOU DO?" I GO, "I KNEW I MADE A JOKE OR 286 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,912 SOMETHING. HE WAS LIKE, "AH, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO DETENTION?" 287 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:36,649 I GO, "SURE. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, WE JUST HAD A DEAL 288 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,319 WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING. I WAS LIKE -- I WAS HANGING OUT IN THE OFFICE. 289 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,054 AND I WOULD GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE AND JUST SAY, "WHAT'S UP? 290 00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:42,555 AND HANG OUT [ LAUGHTER ] MY PRINCIPAL AT -- WELL, LET 291 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,491 ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL, I USED TO GET SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S 292 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:48,661 OFFICE OFTEN BUT -- BUT SEE, I WAS A BUSINESS WOMAN 293 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:51,865 [ LAUGHTER ] AND ONE DAY I GOT SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE BECAUSE I 294 00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:53,700 DECIDED TO QUIT BEING A MASCOT, AND THEY NEEDED ME BACK ON THE FIELD BECAUSE THE NUMBERS WAS 295 00:18:53,700 --> 00:19:01,007 DROPPING LOW THE MORALE WAS DROPPING LOW. AND SO WE HAD NEGOTIATED A 296 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:05,045 A DEAL, BECAUSE I WOULD THROW OUT CANDY AND I WOULD GET THE CANDY FROM MY HOME GIRL WHO 297 00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:10,116 WORKED AT THE 99 CENT STORE, RIGHT? AND SO -- AND SHE OWED ME SOME 298 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:13,553 FAVORS BECAUSE I WOULD BABYSIT OR WHATEVER. [ LAUGHTER ] 299 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,256 BUT ANYWAYS, I TOLD HIM, "LOOK, I CAN'T GET BACK ON THE FIELD UNLESS I GET PAID, BECAUSE I 300 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:20,060 NEED A BOYFRIEND I DON'T HAVE NO BOYFRIEND. I NEED TO GET MY HAIR DONE AND 301 00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:23,663 MY NAILS DONE SO I CAN GET A A BOYFRIEND. [ LAUGHTER ] 302 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,799 Jimmy: OH, MY GOD AND THEN HE WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T PAY YOU TO BE A MASCOT." 303 00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:29,035 I SAID, "WELL, LOOK, WE GOT TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING." SO BY THE TIME WE FINISHED 304 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:32,472 NEGOTIATING, YOU KNOW, I WAS MAKING ABOUT, YOU KNOW, $50 TO $100 A GAME. 305 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,874 Jimmy: SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 306 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,911 NOW YOU WERE THE MASCOT OF -- OF THE TEAM? WHAT WAS -- WHAT WAS THE 307 00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:42,248 MASCOT WHAT WAS IT? OH, IT WAS A CONQUISTADOR 308 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,917 I WAS A SPANISH SOLDIER, DARLING. Jimmy: WOW, THE 309 00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:50,223 CONQUISTADOR AND YOU HAD TO WEAR A FULL COSTUME AND EVERYTHING 310 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,592 YEAH, I WORE THE FULL COSTUME, BUT I DID NOT WEAR THE HEAD 311 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:56,529 BECAUSE THE HEAD -- IT WAS AN OLD -- IT WAS AN OLD COSTUME YOU KNOW, THE SCHOOL WAS BUILT 312 00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:01,835 IN THE '50s. I GRADUATED IN THE 1 1990s -- 1900s, ANYWAYS. 313 00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:05,872 [ LAUGHTER ] IT -- THE HEAD WAS NOT A GOOD SMELL, SO I DIDN'T WEAR THE 314 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,976 HEAD Jimmy: 1900s. IT WAS FULL COSTUME BUT MY 315 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,778 HEAD SO -- AND I WAS THE ONLY TALKING MASCOT IN THE VALLEY 316 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:15,148 I WOULD BE LIKE, "EL CO- 'WHAT?'" AND EVERYONE WOULD BE LIKE, "-MINO." 317 00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:18,351 I WAS EL CAMINO REAL SO, YEAH "EL CAMINO 318 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,854 WHO KNOWS? WE KNOW! BABY!" 319 00:20:20,854 --> 00:20:27,327 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT 320 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:30,530 WE HAVE TO -- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "THE AFTERPARTY. IT'S ON THIS FRIDAY, APPLE TV 321 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,566 PLUS HOW DO WE SET IT UP FOR EVERYBODY? 322 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:37,137 WHAT DO WE SAY SO IF YOU LOVE TO PLAY THE GAME, "CLUE," RIGHT? 323 00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:40,473 REMEMBER THE GAME, "CLUE"? Jimmy: OF COURSE, LOVE IT SO IT'S A MYSTERY SHOW, AND 324 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:47,881 EVERY EPISODE IS A DIFFERENT GENRE OF TV AND MOVIE. SO THE FIRST EPISODE IS THE 325 00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:54,320 ROM-COM. AND ANOTHER EPISODE IS THRILLER OR ACTION. 326 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,824 AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S -- IT'S JUST FUN IT'S JUST A REALLY FUN SHOW. 327 00:20:57,824 --> 00:21:01,061 SHOW THEM THE CLIP SHOW THEM THE CLIP Jimmy: YEAH, HERE WE GO 328 00:21:01,061 --> 00:21:03,897 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, I WANT TO SHOW THE CLIP. HERE IS TIFFANY HADDISH IN "THE 329 00:21:03,897 --> 00:21:05,598 AFTERPARTY." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 330 00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:09,836 CULP, GOOD. I NEED SOMEBODY TO - CAPTAIN CALLED ME 331 00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,105 REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS. 332 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,207 OH, WE'RE NOT HE JUST WANTED ME TO HEAR IT DIRECTLY FROM HIM THAT THIS IS 333 00:21:14,207 --> 00:21:15,709 NOT OUR CASE HE ONLY WANTED US TO COLLECT WITNESS STATEMENTS UNTIL 334 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:20,480 JERMAINE GOT HERE. OKAY, SO THAT IS BASICALLY WHAT HE SAID TO ME AS WELL, 335 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:26,619 BUT -- LOOK, I CAN CRACK THIS THING, OKAY? YOU LIED TO ME. 336 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:32,792 YOU'RE BEING DRAMATIC DO NOT CALL ME DRAMATIC IT'S COOL 337 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:36,396 LOOK, IF I DON'T SOLVE THIS CASE, I PROMISE YOU I WILL TAKE THE RAP. 338 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:39,899 I WILL NOT LET ANY HARM COME TO YOU. BUT THIS WRINGER GUY THAT'S 339 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:44,971 COMING, I KNOW HIM AND HE WILL -- THIS UP NOW I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO HELP 340 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:49,175 ME I'M JUST ASKING YOU TO NOT "NOT HELP ME," OKAY 341 00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,911 Jimmy: YEAH, AS IN "NOT NOT. TIFFANY HADDISH, EVERYBODY 342 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:55,248 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TO "NOT GO. Jimmy: "THE AFTERPARTY" 343 00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:58,818 PREMIERES FRIDAY ON APPLE TV PLUS WE LOVE YOU, BUD 344 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,855 LOVE YOU, TOO Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PARIS HILTON. 345 00:22:01,855 --> 00:22:04,090 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. WE LOVE YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 346 00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:12,365 * Jimmy: "I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM. 347 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:15,869 I'M ALWAYS ROLLING MY EYES AT PEOPLE'S RIDICULOUSNESS. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP 348 00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:18,204 DO YOU HAVE ANY SOLUTIONS OR ADVICE?" WEAR SUNGLASSES 349 00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:35,722 Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSWOMAN, DJ, AND PODCAST HOST 350 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:42,262 YOU CAN CATCH THE TWO-EPISODE FINALE OF HER SERIES "PARIS IN LOVE" THURSDAY ON PEACOCK. 351 00:22:42,262 --> 00:22:44,497 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME PARIS HILTON 352 00:22:46,966 --> 00:23:00,313 * * Jimmy: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC 353 00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:02,449 THANK YOU Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, AND CONGRATS ON GETTING 354 00:23:02,449 --> 00:23:07,187 MARRIED. THIS IS A BIG DEAL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 355 00:23:07,187 --> 00:23:09,622 IT HAPPENED. YEP Jimmy: THIS THURSDAY YOU'LL 356 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:14,361 BE ABLE TO SEE THE WEDDING IN THE TWO-PART FINALE OF "PARIS IN LOVE. 357 00:23:14,361 --> 00:23:17,797 I HAVE SOME PHOTOS HERE TO SHOW THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, LOOKING 358 00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:20,600 AT - HERE'S YOU AT THE ALTAR. YES 359 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,435 Jimmy: GORGEOUS I LOVE THAT OSCAR de la RENTA GOWN 360 00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:25,372 Jimmy: WOWZERS. THIS IS YOU AND CARTER WALKING DOWN THE AISLE 361 00:23:25,372 --> 00:23:30,577 LOOK AT THIS HOW WAS IT HOW WAS EVERYTHING 362 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,380 WHAT WENT WRONG? [ LAUGHTER ] IT WAS -- 363 00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:35,148 Jimmy: SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG AT A WEDDING IT WAS MAGICAL. 364 00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:38,485 IT WAS EVERYTHING. I THINK THE ONLY THING I WAS STRESSING OUT ABOUT WAS I 365 00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:41,454 HADN'T WRITTEN MY VOWS UP UNTIL I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE 366 00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:44,657 I WAS LIKE - Jimmy: OH, NO -- RUSHING. 367 00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:47,327 IT WAS VERY STRESSFUL. Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE 368 00:23:47,327 --> 00:23:50,663 WHAT'D YOU END UP -- DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID? I JUST ENDED UP THROWING 369 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:54,768 THEM ON THE FLOOR DURING MY SPEECH AND THEN JUST STARTED SPEAKING FROM THE HEART. 370 00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:57,270 SO, IT WENT WAY BETTER Jimmy: WOW. DID YOU GET EMOTIONAL? 371 00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:00,073 HE WAS CRYING THE ENTIRE TIME [ LAUGHTER ] 372 00:24:00,073 --> 00:24:04,544 I WAS LIKE, I AM NOT RUINING THIS MASCARA AND GLAM, SO -- [ LAUGHTER ] 373 00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:06,546 Jimmy: THAT'S SO FUNNY. DID YOU MAKE - LAST TIME WE TALKED, YOU SAID 374 00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:10,550 YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE TEN OUTFIT CHANGES DID YOU? 375 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:13,520 WELL, I WANTED TO LIVE UP TO THAT, BUT I ONLY DID SEVEN [ LAUGHTER ] 376 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,723 Jimmy: BUT YOU DID DO IT. YES Jimmy: WAS IT TOUGH TO DO 377 00:24:16,723 --> 00:24:19,526 TO KEEP GOING AND CHANGING SORT OF Jimmy: YEAH 378 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,327 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOUGHER TO DO AT THE SANTA MONICA PIER FOR THE NEON CARNIVAL BECAUSE 379 00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:26,800 THERE'S NOWHERE TO CHANGE. BUT I HAD THE WEDDING AT MY GRANDFATHER'S OLD ESTATE 380 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,602 SO I JUST GOT DRESSED IN MY OLD TEENAGE ROOM IT WAS CUTE. 381 00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:32,372 Jimmy: WOW. HOW ABOUT FIRST DANCE? WAS THAT GOOD? 382 00:24:32,372 --> 00:24:35,475 STRESS YOU OUT I WAS SO STR -- THAT WAS THE ONE THING I WAS DREADING, 383 00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:40,613 'CAUSE I HATE BALLROOM DANCING I'M JUST -- I'M GOOD AT LIKE RAVING AND JUMPING AROUND. 384 00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:42,615 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT, LIKE, A FANCY DANCE - Jimmy: YOU CAN'T DO THAT, 385 00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:44,417 YEAH YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YEAH, I WAS LIKE, I CAN'T 386 00:24:44,417 --> 00:24:48,321 BUT I KILLED THAT TOO. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. 387 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:52,392 YOU'RE RIDICULOUS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE SO FUNNY. 388 00:24:52,392 --> 00:24:56,429 WHAT WAS -- CAN YOU TELL US YOUR FIRST DANCE SONG? BRUNO MARS, "JUST THE WAY 389 00:24:56,429 --> 00:24:59,933 YOU ARE. I LOVE THAT SONG Jimmy: DID YOU HAVE ANY 390 00:24:59,933 --> 00:25:03,336 OTHER SONGS UNDER CONSIDERATION? "STARS ARE BLIND. 391 00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:06,673 MY SONG. Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 392 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,908 BUT KIM PETRAS SANG IT. Jimmy: THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT. 393 00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:11,544 SHE ALREADY SANG IT KIM PETRAS, MY FRIEND SANG IT AS I WAS WALKING DOWN THE 394 00:25:11,544 --> 00:25:13,546 AISLE, SO -- Jimmy: SHE DID? YES 395 00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:16,583 Jimmy: I RAN INTO YOUR MOM, BY THE WAY, WHO'S SUPER CUTE AND AWESOME AND FUNNY. 396 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:20,220 AND SHE TOLD ME THAT DEMI LOVATO CRUSHED IT OH, MY GOD. 397 00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:23,056 THAT WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL SINGING "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. 398 00:25:23,056 --> 00:25:26,559 EVERYBODY WAS CRYING Jimmy: DEMI LOVATO IS LEGIT, MAN. 399 00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:29,062 SO TALENTED Jimmy: I MEAN, PIPES. YEAH 400 00:25:29,062 --> 00:25:33,533 OH, THAT'S SO FUN. WELL, HOW WAS YOUR MOM DURING THE WEDDING? 401 00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:36,870 SHE WAS A LOT OF FUN. MY MOM -- NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO THROW A PARTY LIKE MY MOM. 402 00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:39,406 LIKE, THAT'S WHERE I GET IT FROM Jimmy: SHE SEEMS FUN. 403 00:25:39,406 --> 00:25:42,208 YEAH, SHE'S SO COOL SHE LOVES YOU. SHE SAID SHE LOVES YOU THE 404 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:46,479 OTHER NIGHT. Jimmy: SHE'S GREAT. ALSO -- SHE'S JUST A CHARACTER 405 00:25:46,479 --> 00:25:49,749 SHE'S SO FUN I MEAN, SHE'S THE BEST THING ON TELEVISION 406 00:25:49,749 --> 00:25:52,652 THANK YOU Jimmy: I THINK SHE'S THE FUNNIEST PERSON. 407 00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:55,088 I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP OF YOUR SHOW THIS IS PARIS FINDING WEDDING 408 00:25:55,088 --> 00:25:59,659 INSPIRATION IN THE CRAZIEST -- WHERE IS THIS PLACE? LAS VEGAS 409 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:02,495 AREA 15, IT'S LIKE AN INDOOR BURNING MAN. IT'S SICK. 410 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:04,931 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THIS IS REAL TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 411 00:26:04,931 --> 00:26:05,031 Jimmy: THIS IS REAL TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 412 00:26:06,866 --> 00:26:11,338 MAN FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE EVENTS 413 00:26:11,338 --> 00:26:14,674 IT'S SO MAGICAL AND IT'S LIKE NOTHING ON EARTH AND AREA 15 IS LIKE AN INDOOR 414 00:26:14,674 --> 00:26:18,578 BURNING MAN. SO I THOUGHT, WHAT A BETTER WAY TO KICK OFF THE WEEKEND. 415 00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:25,418 ALL RIGHT, LOSER TAKES A SHOT NO, I DON'T WANT TO RACE. 416 00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:31,458 OH, BABE, WAIT FOR ME YES OH, YES! 417 00:26:31,458 --> 00:26:35,762 IT PAYS TO GO WITH PARIS HILTON TO VEGAS BECAUSE THEY TREAT YOU LIKE THE QUEEN. 418 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:42,202 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT IT'S AMAZING. 419 00:26:42,202 --> 00:26:45,438 YOU HAVE TO GO Jimmy: I HAVE TO GO TO THAT PLACE. 420 00:26:45,438 --> 00:26:49,376 LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THE SHOW, I ASKED YOU TO EXPLAIN NFTs. AND YOU DID SO IN A GREAT WAY, 421 00:26:49,376 --> 00:26:51,077 WHICH IS A VERY HARD THING TO REALLY EXPLAIN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE 422 00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:52,812 BUT SINCE THEN FORBES HAS NAMED YOU ONE OF THE TOP 50 MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN THE NFT 423 00:26:52,812 --> 00:27:02,389 SPACE. SO, CONGRATS ON THAT THANK YOU 424 00:27:02,389 --> 00:27:04,424 Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. THANK YOU 425 00:27:04,424 --> 00:27:06,559 I'M SO PROUD I LOVE BEING PART OF THIS COMMUNITY AND BEING A VOICE AND 426 00:27:06,559 --> 00:27:10,163 SHARING MY PLATFORM AND JUST GETTING THE WORD OUT THERE BECAUSE I THINK IT'S JUST SUCH 427 00:27:10,163 --> 00:27:13,433 AN INCREDIBLE THING TO BE A PART OF. Jimmy: YEAH, I JUMPED IN. 428 00:27:13,433 --> 00:27:16,469 I KNOW, I HEARD I'M SO HAPPY I TAUGHT YOU WHAT THEY WERE. 429 00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:20,407 Jimmy: YOU DID. YOU TAUGHT ME WHAT'S UP. AND THEN I BOUGHT AN APE 430 00:27:20,407 --> 00:27:22,175 I GOT AN APE TOO. BECAUSE I SAW YOU ON THE SHOW WITH BEEPLE. 431 00:27:22,175 --> 00:27:24,611 AND I SEE YOU GOT A MOONPAY. SO, I WENT AND I COPIED YOU AND DID THE SAME THING 432 00:27:24,611 --> 00:27:28,081 Jimmy: YOU DID? MM-HM Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR -- THIS 433 00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:32,452 IS YOUR APE. YEAH, IT'S REALLY COOL. LOOK AT THE HAT, THE SHADES. 434 00:27:32,452 --> 00:27:35,922 [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: NOW -- HOW DID YOU PICK - 435 00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:39,559 'CAUSE YOU CAN PICK YOUR APE YES I WAS GOING THROUGH A LOT OF 436 00:27:39,559 --> 00:27:44,064 THEM, AND I WAS LIKE, I WANT SOMETHING THAT, LIKE, KIND OF REMINDS ME OF ME 437 00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:48,335 BUT -- THIS ONE, IT DOES I THINK -- WE MADE, LIKE, ANOTHER VERSION OF IT WHERE HE 438 00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:52,539 TAKES THE HAT OFF AND BLONDE HAIR COMES OUT Jimmy: YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU CAN 439 00:27:52,539 --> 00:27:57,077 DO WHATEVER YOU WANT ANIMATED VERSION. Jimmy: WE'RE PART OF THE 440 00:27:57,077 --> 00:28:00,113 SAME COMMUNITY I KNOW, YES Jimmy: WE'RE BOTH APES. 441 00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:03,383 I LOVE IT Jimmy: HERE'S MY APE. THIS IS MY APE 442 00:28:03,383 --> 00:28:05,585 YOURS IS SO COOL. I LOVE THE RED HEART SUNGLASSES 443 00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:08,788 I LOVE THE CAPTAIN HAT Jimmy: IT REMINDED ME OF ME A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE I WEAR 444 00:28:08,788 --> 00:28:13,727 STRIPE SHIRTS. I'VE WORN THESE HEART SUNGLASSES 'CAUSE MY DAUGHTERS, 445 00:28:13,727 --> 00:28:17,163 JUST AS A JOKE THEY HAVE THEM AND AS A JOKE I'VE PUT THEM ON 446 00:28:17,163 --> 00:28:20,433 SO, I'VE DONE THIS AND I LOVE YACHT ROCK AND JUST BEING BREEZY 447 00:28:20,433 --> 00:28:23,770 SO, I'M LIKE, YEAH THAT KIND OF -- AND I LIKE THE BLUE 448 00:28:23,770 --> 00:28:25,839 SEE, LOOK AT THIS. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY COULD BE FRIENDS. 449 00:28:25,839 --> 00:28:31,077 Jimmy: THEY'RE BUDDIES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT THIS IS -- YOU HAVE A NEW 450 00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:35,949 NFT. YOU HAVE ONE BEING RELEASED SOON 451 00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:40,120 WE HAVE IT HERE. WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS 452 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:45,425 WELL, IT'S AN NFT SERIES I'M DOING WITH SUPER PLASTIC AND RELEASING ON ORIGIN PROTOCOL 453 00:28:45,425 --> 00:28:49,629 AND THEN I MADE ANOTHER PIECE BY HAND. IT TOOK ME SIX MONTHS. 454 00:28:49,629 --> 00:28:53,433 AND IT'S A COLLAGE OF ALL OF MY MEMORIES WITH CARTER AND IT'S CALLED "MY FOREVER 455 00:28:53,433 --> 00:28:58,171 FAIRY TALE." Jimmy: WOW. AND HERE'S THE ACTUAL COLLAGE. 456 00:28:58,171 --> 00:29:01,808 [ APPLAUSE ] YES Jimmy: THIS IS BIG. 457 00:29:01,808 --> 00:29:04,444 I THINK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS. WELL, IF YOU LOVE IT SO 458 00:29:04,444 --> 00:29:09,249 MUCH, I ACTUALLY WANT TO GIVE YOU THE FIRST ONE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 459 00:29:09,249 --> 00:29:12,285 Jimmy: I WOULD BE HONORED AND I WANT TO GIVE ONE TO EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE 460 00:29:12,285 --> 00:29:16,222 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: EVERYONE GETS AN NFT YES, EVERYONE 461 00:29:16,222 --> 00:29:21,294 Jimmy: EVERYONE GETS AN NFT PARIS -- THAT -- COME ON I THINK THAT'S THE FIRST NFT 462 00:29:21,294 --> 00:29:24,330 GIVE AWAY IN TELEVISION HISTORY. YES 463 00:29:24,330 --> 00:29:27,133 Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU. ICONIC! Jimmy: PARIS HILTON 464 00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:28,735 WHO ELSE DOES THAT I LOVE YOU GUYS Jimmy: PARIS AND I ARE GOING 465 00:29:28,735 --> 00:29:30,603 TO DO SOMETHING AFTER THE BREAK. WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST TO 466 00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:32,739 HELP US OUT. STICK AROUND FOR REAL 467 00:29:32,739 --> 00:29:54,227 WE ALL GET ONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 468 00:29:54,227 --> 00:29:56,162 Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WE HAVE A LITTLE - 469 00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:57,964 WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST WITH US RIGHT NOW. YES 470 00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:01,735 THIS IS DIAMOND BABY Jimmy: HI, DIAMOND BABY NICE TO SEE YOU. 471 00:30:01,735 --> 00:30:05,171 I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST SURPRISE BUT WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER 472 00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:07,774 SURPRISE YOUR MOM IS HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 473 00:30:07,774 --> 00:30:09,676 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KATHY HILTON 474 00:30:11,044 --> 00:30:13,480 * 475 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:19,552 Jimmy: YES! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON 476 00:30:19,552 --> 00:30:22,455 TELEVISION RIGHT NOW HI, MOM Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW. 477 00:30:22,455 --> 00:30:25,525 HI, HONEY HOW ARE YOU? BEAUTIFUL 478 00:30:25,525 --> 00:30:27,460 Jimmy: NOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO HAVE BOTH YOU GUYS TOGETHER AND PLAY A GAME 479 00:30:27,460 --> 00:30:30,830 WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS GIVE OUT GREAT ADVICE 480 00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:34,034 AND I THOUGHT, RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE FUN WE CAN HELP PEOPLE OUT WITH BIG 481 00:30:34,034 --> 00:30:36,670 TIME LIFE DECISIONS. IT'S TIME FOR "LIFE COACH WITH PARIS AND KATHY HILTON." 482 00:30:36,670 --> 00:30:36,703 IT'S TIME FOR "LIFE COACH WITH PARIS AND KATHY HILTON." 483 00:30:37,203 --> 00:30:43,143 * LIFE COACH WITH PARIS AND KATHY * 484 00:30:43,143 --> 00:30:45,211 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: SO, WE HAD VIEWERS SEND IN SOME QUESTIONS 485 00:30:45,211 --> 00:30:48,915 WE'VE GOT SOME PRETTY GOOD ONES HOW ABOUT THIS ONE 486 00:30:48,915 --> 00:30:50,984 MY BEST FRIEND JUST HAD A BABY, AND ALL SHE EVER WANTS TO TALK ABOUT IS THE KID 487 00:30:50,984 --> 00:30:55,455 HOW DO I GET HER INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT ALL THE GOSSIP AND STUFF WE USED TO DISCUSS 488 00:30:55,455 --> 00:31:01,461 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, I KNOW THOSE PEOPLE I WOULD JUST SAY, SHOW THE 489 00:31:01,461 --> 00:31:03,830 PICTURE ONCE 'CAUSE NOBODY REALLY CARES, TRUTHFULLY 490 00:31:03,830 --> 00:31:08,168 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S SO MEAN. ONE PICTURE 491 00:31:08,168 --> 00:31:10,437 THAT'S ENOUGH. Jimmy: THEY DON'T REALLY -- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT 492 00:31:10,437 --> 00:31:12,939 THAT'S TRUE. THEY DON'T CARE Jimmy: BUT WHEN YOU FIRST 493 00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:15,075 BECOME A PARENT THOUGH, ALL YOU DO IS SHOW PICTURES TO EVERYBODY. 494 00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:19,245 I SHOW MY CAB DRIVER I'M LIKE, DUDE LOOK AT MY BABY AND HE'S LIKE -- YEAH. 495 00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:22,082 THAT WAS RICK, MY HUSBAND Jimmy: HE SHOWED IT TO EVERYBODY, YEAH. 496 00:31:22,082 --> 00:31:28,922 MY FRIEND AND I HAD A PRETTY MEDIOCRE MEAL, AND SHE LEFT A ONE STAR REVIEW ON YELP. 497 00:31:28,922 --> 00:31:31,524 I FEEL BAD FOR THE RESTAURANT AND WORKERS, 'CAUSE MAYBE THEY JUST HAD AN OFF DAY. 498 00:31:31,524 --> 00:31:35,195 IS IT RUDE TO LEAVE A SUPER NEGATIVE REVIEW LIKE THAT, OR AM I CRAZY 499 00:31:35,195 --> 00:31:40,100 I THINK THAT'S SO RUDE BECAUSE YOU COULD REALLY HURT SOMEONE. 500 00:31:40,100 --> 00:31:42,869 AND PEOPLE ARE REALLY STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW AND IT'S JUST NOT NICE 501 00:31:42,869 --> 00:31:44,971 IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL 502 00:31:44,971 --> 00:31:49,142 Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CAN'T TOP THAT 503 00:31:49,142 --> 00:31:51,277 I AGREE WITH YOU DON'T DO THAT. I LOVE THAT. 504 00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:53,646 ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT THIS I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOKING AT MY 505 00:31:53,646 --> 00:31:57,150 CELL PHONE SO MUCH, IT'S STARTING TO NEGATIVELY AFFECT MY RELATIONSHIPS AND MY SLEEP. 506 00:31:57,150 --> 00:31:58,718 HOW DO I CUT DOWN ON MY PHONE USAGE? I WASTED THREE YEARS ON MY 507 00:31:58,718 --> 00:32:05,959 CELL PHONE AND MY iPAD NO, I'M NOT KIDDING. Jimmy: THREE YEARS OF YOUR 508 00:32:05,959 --> 00:32:08,728 LIFE GONE. THREE YEARS GONE. WASTING, JUST SITTING THERE. 509 00:32:08,728 --> 00:32:12,665 AND IT WOULD GET DARK. Jimmy: WOW. AND WHAT DO YOU DO NOW 510 00:32:12,665 --> 00:32:15,201 NOW I'M WORKING [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SO, YOU DON'T NEED - 511 00:32:15,201 --> 00:32:18,405 HOW ABOUT YOU? I WOULD PROBABLY NEED TO ASK THAT ADVICE AS WELL. 512 00:32:18,405 --> 00:32:21,207 BECAUSE I'M ADDICTED TO MY PHONE. [ LAUGHTER ] 513 00:32:21,207 --> 00:32:23,309 Jimmy: IT'S LIKE, THIS QUESTION CAME FROM YOU ALL RIGHT, PERFECT 514 00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:28,882 IT'S ME Jimmy: I HEARD, LIKE, IF YOU WANT TO -- WHEN YOU GO TO BED, 515 00:32:28,882 --> 00:32:31,251 YOU PUT THE PHONE -- YOU CHARGE IT IN THE OTHER ROOM NO 516 00:32:31,251 --> 00:32:35,088 I NEED THE ALARM. Jimmy: TOO SCARY? I NEED THE SLEEP FAN OR 517 00:32:35,088 --> 00:32:37,424 SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT LIKE, A NOISE. 518 00:32:37,424 --> 00:32:42,095 Jimmy: YOU TOO, RIGHT WE BOTH HAVE THE FANS Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THIS 519 00:32:42,095 --> 00:32:45,532 I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM I'M ALWAYS ROLLING MY EYES AT PEOPLE'S RIDICULOUSNESS. 520 00:32:45,532 --> 00:32:48,101 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP DO YOU HAVE ANY SOLUTIONS OR 521 00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:54,374 ADVICE WEAR SUNGLASSES [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 522 00:32:54,374 --> 00:32:57,010 Jimmy: WOW, A PRO I LOVE IT Jimmy: WOW, A PRO RIGHT 523 00:32:57,010 --> 00:33:02,048 THERE. DON'T STOP ROLLING JUST WEAR SUNGLASSES 524 00:33:02,048 --> 00:33:06,720 PERFECT. PARIS, IT GOES WITH YOUR APE MY HUSBAND IS A NIGHT OWL BUT 525 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,557 I'M AN EARLY RISER WE DON'T GET TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME TOGETHER AS WE'D LIKE 526 00:33:10,557 --> 00:33:16,629 SHOULD I TRY TO START STAYING UP LATER, OR SHOULD HE TRY TO START WAKING UP EARLIER. 527 00:33:16,629 --> 00:33:18,631 I CAN RELATE TO THAT. BUT IT'S THE OPPOSITE. I'M THE NIGHT OWL AND MY 528 00:33:18,631 --> 00:33:25,071 HUSBAND IS, LIKE, THE EARLY RISER AND GOES TO BED EARLY. SO, I TRY TO GET HIM TO STAY UP 529 00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:28,074 LATER. SO, I DON'T KNOW JUST TRY TO CHANGE YOUR 530 00:33:28,074 --> 00:33:32,145 SLEEPING SCHEDULE OR TELL THE OTHER PERSON TO WAKE UP EARLIER. 531 00:33:32,145 --> 00:33:36,082 WAKE THE OTHER PERSON Jimmy: WOW. KATHY, ANY ADVICE ON THAT? 532 00:33:36,082 --> 00:33:41,087 I WOULD -- I THINK I'M -- RICK GOES TO BED I STAY UP LATER ON THE iPAD. 533 00:33:41,087 --> 00:33:44,991 SO, I THINK HE'S GOT TO GET AN iPAD SO WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER. [ LAUGHTER ] 534 00:33:44,991 --> 00:33:48,094 Jimmy: YOU'RE BOTH ON THE iPAD YEAH 535 00:33:48,094 --> 00:33:49,796 ALL RIGHT, THIS ONE SAYS, I REALLY WANT TO QUIT MY JOB AND TRAVEL, BUT I'M AFRAID OF 536 00:33:49,796 --> 00:33:54,167 FINDING WORK WHEN I'M BACK SHOULD I JUST DO IT ANYWAY I KNOW WHO WROTE THIS 537 00:33:54,167 --> 00:33:57,604 QUESTION YOU DO? I DO. 538 00:33:57,604 --> 00:34:01,508 DON'T YOU KNOW NO. I THINK I DO. 539 00:34:01,508 --> 00:34:04,144 I THINK IT'S THE OCTOPUS, CARTER WHAT? 540 00:34:04,144 --> 00:34:08,948 Jimmy: WHAT WE CALL CARTER THE GROOMZILLA AND THE OCTOPUS 541 00:34:08,948 --> 00:34:10,717 BECAUSE HE'S GOT HIS MITTS INTO EVERYTHING. Jimmy: SO, YOU THINK CARTER 542 00:34:10,717 --> 00:34:15,288 WROTE THIS READ IT AGAIN Jimmy: I WANT TO QUIT MY JOB 543 00:34:15,288 --> 00:34:19,125 AND TRAVEL, BUT I'M AFRAID OF FINDING WORK WHEN I'M BACK SHOULD I JUST DO IT ANYWAY 544 00:34:19,125 --> 00:34:22,495 WHAT? IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. [ LAUGHTER ] 545 00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:25,565 HE DID TRAVEL WITH YOU ON A A LONG HOLIDAY YEAH, THE HONEYMOON 546 00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:29,202 HE'S WORKING NON-STOP. I KNOW. IT'S A NEW WORLD. 547 00:34:29,202 --> 00:34:32,172 YOU CAN WORK FROM ANYWHERE AND ZOOM I GET IT. 548 00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:35,909 SOON. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW, WOW 549 00:34:35,909 --> 00:34:38,078 THE OCTOPUS. OH, MY GOD NO, HE DOES 550 00:34:38,078 --> 00:34:40,146 HE'S GOT HIS MITTS INTO EVERYTHING AND PARIS IS RIGHT 551 00:34:40,146 --> 00:34:42,649 SHE GOES, "MOMMY, HE MEANS WELL." BUT HE WAS OFFENDING ME. 552 00:34:42,649 --> 00:34:45,318 HE WAS CALLING THE CAKE PLACE. HE WAS CALLING THE BAND. HE WAS CALLING - 553 00:34:45,318 --> 00:34:48,788 Jimmy: FOR THE WEDDING? THE PARTY PLANNER YES, HE'S VERY ORGANIZED. 554 00:34:48,788 --> 00:34:51,091 THE BAND, THE HOTELS. EVERYTHING Jimmy: BUT HE'S THE GROOM 555 00:34:51,091 --> 00:34:53,827 I KNOW. I SAID, THIS IS NOT NORMAL [ LAUGHTER ] 556 00:34:53,827 --> 00:34:55,795 HE EVEN PICKED OUT THE INVITATION AND THE SAVE THE DATE CARDS 557 00:34:55,795 --> 00:35:01,534 I WAS LIKE, OKAY HE'S JUST VERY RESPONSIBLE, VERY ORGANIZED 558 00:35:01,534 --> 00:35:07,140 AND WE'RE NOT. WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? COME ON? 559 00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:09,509 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: ALL, RIGHT, HOW ABOUT THIS 560 00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:11,044 READY? HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE HATERS AROUND THE WORLD 561 00:35:11,044 --> 00:35:15,382 AND WHAT'S YOUR ADVICE TO KEEP THE NEGATIVITY AWAY? TO ME I REALLY THINK THAT 562 00:35:15,382 --> 00:35:19,552 YOU SEND OUT LOVE AND GOOD WISHES AND I JUST PUT, LIKE -- IF 563 00:35:19,552 --> 00:35:26,059 THEY'RE UNKIND, PUT LIKE A A LITTLE SAD EMOJI [ LAUGHTER ] 564 00:35:26,059 --> 00:35:28,661 NO, I MEAN THAT. REALLY Jimmy: JUST LET THEM KNOW 565 00:35:28,661 --> 00:35:30,897 THE FACT THEY'RE GIVING YOU ATTENTION, THEY DO CARE ABOUT YOU. 566 00:35:30,897 --> 00:35:34,968 SO, THEN I JUST WRITE, "OH, I'M SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU" OR I PUT AN EMOJI LIKE THAT 567 00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:41,141 AND THEN THEY'RE SWEET AND THEY FEEL BAD [ LAUGHTER ] 568 00:35:41,141 --> 00:35:43,076 KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS I LIKE THAT. YES 569 00:35:43,076 --> 00:35:46,079 GRANDMA USED TO SAY THAT Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. GOOD 570 00:35:46,079 --> 00:35:47,681 KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS. I'LL TAKE THAT I LOVE IT. 571 00:35:47,681 --> 00:35:49,649 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "LIFE COACH WITH PARIS AND 572 00:35:49,649 --> 00:35:51,918 KATHY HILTON." THANK YOU. I LOVE THAT YOU CAME OUT 573 00:35:51,918 --> 00:35:54,587 THANK YOU. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC FROM EARL SWEATSHIRT 574 00:35:54,587 --> 00:36:18,778 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: PERFORMING 575 00:36:18,778 --> 00:36:23,383 "TWENTY-TEN" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM "SICK!" GIVE IT UP FOR EARL SWEATSHIRT 576 00:36:23,383 --> 00:36:25,618 SWEATSHIRT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 577 00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:29,956 * I'MA NEED A BIGGE 578 00:36:29,956 --> 00:36:33,193 BAG FOR THE COHORT TRYNA MAKE A MILLIONAIRE OUT OF SLUM DOGS * 579 00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:35,428 * BET THAT HEAD CRACK BLUNT FORC COZY WITH TH 580 00:36:35,428 --> 00:36:39,466 EAST AFRICANS UP NORTH * * SEVEN MAKE A THRE TURN A TEN BY LA 581 00:36:39,466 --> 00:36:42,435 CRESCENT MOON WINK WHEN I BLINKED IT WAS GONE * * LEFT THE CRIB SMACKED 582 00:36:42,435 --> 00:36:47,073 NO SHEATH ON THE SWORD MADE IT BY THE SKI OF MY TEETH THANK GOD '03 * 583 00:36:47,073 --> 00:36:50,243 * MOMMA ROCKIN LIZ CLAIBORN HAD HER STRESSIN' UP THE WALL PLAYIN' 584 00:36:50,243 --> 00:36:52,779 MARY J. SONGS * * RAINY DAY CAM COULDN'T RINSE 585 00:36:52,779 --> 00:36:55,448 THE STAINS OFF LONG WAY TO GO * * WE ALREADY CAME FAR 586 00:36:55,448 --> 00:36:58,918 STORY STAYED THE SAM IT WAS NEVER MAD U THREW ME LOOSE CHANGE * 587 00:36:58,918 --> 00:37:02,022 * LOOK AT WHAT I MADE OF IT WHEN THE MOOD CHANGE I'MA POKER-FACE 'E 588 00:37:02,022 --> 00:37:05,325 IT'S A NEW DAY * * WHO GOT ALL THE ACE WHO BE FOLDIN' LAT 589 00:37:05,325 --> 00:37:08,428 WHO KNOW WHEN TO PLAY DEAD WHO SIT UP STRAIGHT * * WHEN THE ROOF CAVED I 590 00:37:08,428 --> 00:37:12,332 HAD A FULL PLATE YOU AIN'T WANNA SPLIT IT TELL IT TO YOU STRAIGHT * 591 00:37:12,332 --> 00:37:17,037 * YOU AIN'T WANNA LISTE CUP RUNNETH OVER THE BRI BUST OPEN THERE' 592 00:37:17,037 --> 00:37:20,340 NO CLOSIN' THE LID * * DRUMROLL HERE GO MY LIL' ENTRANC 593 00:37:20,340 --> 00:37:23,109 GUNG HO I'M THE ON THAT GO GET IT * * FIVE O'S ON M 594 00:37:23,109 --> 00:37:27,147 LIKE THE OLYMPIC PURE GOLD SOMETHIN TOLD ME DON'T MIX IT * 595 00:37:27,147 --> 00:37:29,816 * CAUGHT A FEELIN' * * MOMMA HAD ME OUT TEMPLE NOT RELIGIOU 596 00:37:29,816 --> 00:37:34,287 WE WAS REALLY OUT PHILLY LIVIN' ON THE FLY * * TRYNA WING IT 597 00:37:34,287 --> 00:37:37,257 WE GOT US A FIRE TO REKINDL REDIRECT THE FIGHT * 598 00:37:37,257 --> 00:37:41,294 * WHERE IT'S MEANT FO TRIUMPH OVER PLIGH AND IMMENSE LOSS 599 00:37:41,294 --> 00:37:43,963 RIDE ALONE AT NIGHT * * I GET CLEAR THOUGHT CAUGHT A COUPLE SLIGHT 600 00:37:43,963 --> 00:37:47,334 AND I VEERED OFF SAW ANOTHER HEIGHT * * HAD MY EARS POPPIN' 601 00:37:47,334 --> 00:37:50,537 WALKED OUTSIDE IT WAS STILL GORGEOU SHARP INCISORS * 602 00:37:50,537 --> 00:37:53,873 * REVEAL SLOWLY IN THE DARK INSIDE WE WAS REAL HUNGRY 603 00:37:53,873 --> 00:37:59,179 ON A SEVEN OF THE FIVE * * WE WAS REAL HUNGR WE STILL DRUMMIN 604 00:37:59,179 --> 00:38:01,614 FOOT SHOOK GROUN WHEN I STEPPED ON IT * * DIDN'T LOOK BAC 605 00:38:01,614 --> 00:38:05,352 WHEN I BROKE SOI 'CAUSE EVERY TIM I DID IT WOULD HURT MORE * 606 00:38:05,352 --> 00:38:08,455 * IN THE DARK INSID WE WAS REAL HUNGRY ON A SEVEN OF THE FIVE 607 00:38:08,455 --> 00:38:11,057 WE WAS REAL HUNGRY * * AND I DIDN'T LOOK BAC WHEN I BROKE SOI 608 00:38:11,057 --> 00:38:23,303 'CAUSE EVERY TIM I DID IT WOULD HURT MORE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 609 00:38:23,303 --> 00:38:27,474 Jimmy: EARL SWEATSHIRT! "SICK!" IS OUT NOW MY THANKS TO TIFFANY HADDISH, 610 00:38:27,474 --> 00:38:32,345 PARIS HILTON EARL SWEATSHIRT ONCE AGAIN AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM 611 00:38:32,345 --> 00:38:35,115 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 612 00:38:35,115 --> 00:38:38,251 SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE