>> Jimmy: WOW, NOTHING LIKE FIRST SNOW OF THE WINTER
>> QuestLove: WOW, MAN THE STREET LOOKS GREAT, DOESN'T IT
BEAUTIFUL. * >> Jimmy: WANT TO HELP ME CARRY
IT TO THE CURB >> QuestLove: SURE, MAN. [ ENGINE REVVING ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN
ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JIMMY FALLON." TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS -
THE CO-HOSTS OF "QUEER EYE," JB SMOOVE, COMEDIAN MATTHEW BROUSSARD
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1579
>> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S THE ENERGY RIGHT THERE.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO THE "TONIGHT" SHOW
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WELL GUYS, TODAY NEW YORK CITY GOT HIT WITH THE FIRST BIG SNOWSTORM OF THE YEAR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S ALWAYS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE MORNING.
THEN BY NOON IT IS LIKE WALKING THROUGH A FRAPPUCCINO. [ LAUGHTER ]
THANKFULLY, I GOT TO THE OFFICE WITHOUT A PROBLEM. OUTSIDE I SAW A GUY SHOVELING
SIXTH AVENUE AND I SAID, "THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH
MR. DeBLASIO." [ LAUGHTER ] AND THIS IS STRANGE.
ON THE WAY I PASSED BY A BUNCH OF SNOWMEN ON THE SIDEWALK, AND THEN I REALIZED THEY WERE JUST
PEOPLE WHO HAD BEEN STANDING IN LINE FOR RAPID TESTS [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S NOT JUST NEW YORK THOUGH. A MASSIVE SNOWSTORM ALSO HIT KENTUCKY AND A BUNCH OF CARS
GOT STUCK ON THE HIGHWAY LUCKILY ONE GUY SEEMED TO BE IN PRETTY GOOD SPIRITS.
WATCH THIS
REPORTING LIVE ON INTERSTATE 75.
IT'S PRETTY BAD AND SO WE'VE BEEN HERE NOW ABOUT TWO AND A HALF HOURS AND THANK GOD THE
BOURBON FAIRY CAME BY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THANK GOD, THE
BOURBON FAIRY. >> Steve: THE BOURBON FAIRY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT AFTER
THAT, HE GOT A VISIT FROM THE DUI FAIRY. [ LAUGHTER ]
YUP, THAT'S FATHER JIM FROM THE CHURCH OF THE HEAVENLY BUZZ. [ LAUGHTER ]
MEANWHILE, I HEARD ABOUT A MAN IN TEXAS WHO WAS ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY DRIVING DRUNK WITH A
A LIT BARBECUE PIT IN THE BACK OF HIS TRUCK [ AUDIENCE OOHS
[ LAUGHTER ] NOW IN TEXAS, A MAN DRUNK DRIVING A LIT BARBECUE -- IS
ACTUALLY THE STATE BIRD. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S CORRECT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S THE STATE BIRD. LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS
THE WHITE HOUSE IS FINALIZING PLANS FOR THE POSTAL SERVICE TO DELIVER 500 MILLION RAPID TESTS
STRAIGHT TO PEOPLE'S HOMES YUP. IT IS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE
SAID THE WORDS "POSTAL SERVICE" AND "RAPID" IN THE SAME SENTENCE
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT IS WHY HE CHOSE THE POSTAL SERVICE.
BIDEN SAID, "I WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE THEM BEFORE CHRISTMAS." [ LAUGHTER ]
MR. PRESIDENT, HERE IS MY ADVICE YOU WANT TO GET 500 MILLION
TESTS OUT RIGHT AWAY, FORGET THE POST OFFICE. DOMINO'S
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE A PIZZA TRACKER IS ACCURATE. THAT'S RIGHT
THE WHITE HOUSE PLANS TO SEND AT-HOME COVID TESTS TO AMERICANS AS SOON AS NEXT WEEK
BUT NOT EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THEY WORK I'VE HAD TO TEST A LOT RECENTLY
AND SO LET ME JUST BREAK DOWN HOW TO INTERPRET THE RESULTS FOR EXAMPLE, ONE LINE MEANS YOU
TESTED NEGATIVE. HOWEVER, TWO LINES MEANS YOU TESTED POSITIVE.
UP NEXT, IF YOU GET THREE LINES YOU HAVE A NEW VARIANT AND THEY'LL PROBABLY NAME IT AFTER
YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, FOUR LINES MEAN
YOU'VE BEEN TO FLORIDA IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, IF YOU GET AN X IT MEANS YOU STUCK THE NASAL SWAB IN THE WRONG HOLE.
I HOPE THAT HELPS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THE WRONG HOLE
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: HEY, I READ THAT
TWITTER IS TESTING A NEW FEATURE THAT LETS YOU REACT TO OTHER PEOPLE'S TWEETS WITH A
A SHORT VIDEO. YEAH I FELL LIKE WE'RE A DAY AWAY
FROM TWITTER JUST RENAMING ITSELF TWIT TWOK [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THE VIDEOS ARE EASY TO POST YOU JUST OPEN THE APP, TAP ON
THE CAMERA, AND THEN VERIFY THAT YOU'RE NOT DONALD TRUMP OR MARJORIE TAYLOR-GREENE
THAT'S ALL VERY EASY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
VERY EASY TO DO. ANYONE CAN DO IT SPEAKING OF TRUMP, I SAW THAT
HE PLANS TO LAUNCH HIS OWN SOCIAL MEDIA APP IN FEBRUARY ON PRESIDENTS' DAY.
THIS IS REAL THE APP IS CALLED TRUTH SOCIAL AND HE SAID IT IS DIFFERENT
THAN OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU CAN'T SEND
A TWEET BUT YOU CAN SEND A -
>> BING, BING, BONG, BONG, BING, BING, BING
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND WHEN YOU GET A A NOTIFICATION IT SOUNDS
LIKE - [ HORN HONKING ] WHEN ASKED WHAT ELSE IS
DIFFERENT ABOUT HIS APP, TRUMP SAID -
TREMENDOUSLY WET
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHEN ASKED WHO COULD USE THE APP HE SAID EVERYONE,
INCLUDING --
>> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT YOU COULD ONLY USE THE APP IF YOU AGREE TO
SHOW -
>> TOTAL RESPECT FOR DONALD TRUMP AND FOR
DONALD TRUMP'S VERY, VERY LARGE A-BRAIN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: TRUMP ACTUALLY HAS AN ACCOUNT ALREADY. OF COURSE THE FIRST PERSON HE
FOLLOWED WAS -
RUSSIA [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE POSTED THE FIRST MESSAGE. IT SAID --
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHOULD BE A FUN TIME
HEY, LISTEN TO THIS. IN SOUTH KOREA PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, ONE CANDIDATE PUSHED
FOR GOVERNMENT FUNDED HAIR LOSS TREATMENTS HAS GAINED A SUPPORT OF A LOT OF BALD VOTERS.
YEAH, IT'S THE FIRST TIME POLITICIANS HAVE BEEN PRAISED FOR STAGING A MASSIVE COVER-UP
[ LAUGHTER ] HEY, ACCORDING TO A NEW SURVEY, ON AVERAGE, MEN RATE THEMSELVES
A 5.9 OUT OF 10 ON THE ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE AND WOMEN HEARD AND WERE LIKE,
"INFLATION STRIKES AGAIN." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE GOOD FOR YOU
WELL GET THIS, A GROUP OF CANADIAN INFLUENCERS FILMED THEMSELVES PARTYING MASKLESS ON
A FLIGHT AND SPARKED A HUGE PUBLIC OUTRAGE AND NOW THEY'RE ALL STUCK IN MEXICO BECAUSE THE
AIRLINE IS REFUSING TO FLY THEM HOME YEAH
WHAT BETTER WAY TO TEACH SOMEONE A LESSON THAN FORCING THEM TO SPEND MORE TIME IN
CANCUN [ LAUGHTER ] "THESE FROZEN DRINKS ARE FOR
YOU GUYS TOO, YOU KNUCKLEHEADS LEARN YOUR LESSON. NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.
[ LAUGHTER ] BOTTOMLESS MARGIS. FINALLY A MAN IN NEBRASKA TOOK
AN AT-HOME DNA TEST AND WAS SURPRISED TO FIND OUT HE HAS 18 HALF SIBLINGS
[ AUDIENCE OOHS HE WAS SHOCKED MOSTLY BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE
WAS TAKING A COVID TEST. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH IT WAS AN AT HOME DNA TEST
SO HE CAN'T BE SURE THEY ARE HIS SIBLINGS UNTIL THE PCR RESULTS COME BACK.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE UP FOR THE ROOTS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. SEASON SIX OF THEIR EMMY
WINNING SHOW JUST PREMIERED AND IT'S TRENDING ON NETFLIX THE CO-HOSTS OF "QUEER EYE" ARE
HERE TONIGHT >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE THE BEST AND WE'RE GOING TO PLAY A GAME WITH THEM TOO LATER IN THE SHOW
IT SHOULD BE FUN ALSO WITH THIS GENTLEMAN HERE WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR A WHILE.
GOSH >> Steve: ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MEN IN THE WORLD
>> Jimmy: HE STARS IN "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" ON HBO. HE MIGHT BE ONE THE FUNNIEST
PEOPLE ON EARTH. >> Steve: FOR SURE >> Jimmy: YEAH
YOU COULD SEE HIM IN "SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME." JB SMOOVE IS HERE.
>> Steve: COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE'S SO FUNNY.
SPEAKING OF FUNNY, THIS GUY IS ONE OF MY FAVES. WE HAVE GREAT STANDUP FROM
MATTHEW BROUSSARD, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE REALLY GOOD.
TODAY IS FRIDAY AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF
YOU KNOW, I CHECK MY INBOX, I RETURN SOME EMAILS AND OF COURSE, I SEND OUT THANK YOU
NOTES AND I WAS JUST RUNNING A A BIT BEHIND TODAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IF YOU GUYS WOULDN'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO WRITE OUT MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW.
IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JAMES, COULD I GET SOME THANK
YOU WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE? * [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: AH, FIRST SNOW FALL. >> Jimmy: HE'S INA GREAT MOOD. >> Steve: YEAH
* >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, NEW YEAR'S'S RESOLUTIONS, FOR BEING
A MAJOR LIFE DECISION YOU MAKE WHEN YOU'RE THE DRUNKEST YOU'VE BEEN ALL YEAR.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: STATE BIRD [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE STATE BIRD >> Steve: YEAH, TEXAS.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, "NEW YORK TIMES" WON'T SAY THAT IS THE JOKE OF THE WEEK
>> Steve: NO >> Jimmy: BUT IT IS. >> Steve: YEAH, JOKE OF THE
WEEK [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THEY'RE WRONG.
>> Steve: I COULD TELL YOU, THEY'RE WRONG. >> Jimmy: THEY'RE WRONG YEAH
>> Steve: YEAH * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, NEW YEAR'S
EVE GLASSES THAT FORM THE YEAR, LISTEN, IT MADE SENSE IN THE EARLY 2000s BUT IT MIGHT BE
TIME TO JUST LET THINGS GO I'M JUST SAYING. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
DOESN'T QUITE MAKE SENSE * THANK YOU, DRY JANUARY, FOR
BEING THE LONGEST WEEK OF THE YEAR [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I WAS TOUGH. I DID IT ALMOST SEVEN DAYS.
ALMOST >> Steve: OH IT'S THE SECOND *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, RETURNING A CHRISTMAS GIFT, FOR INTRODUCING US TO A FUN NEW
GAME "IS GETTING COVID WORTH 40 BUCKS?" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. >> Steve: YEAH *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, TO "BOOK OF BOBA FETT," FOR BEING THE WORST THING A PERSON CAN SAY
WITH FOOD IN THEIR MOUTH [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE *
THANK YOU, CLAYTON ECHARD, FOR SOUNDING LESS LIKE THE NEWEST BACHELOR AND MORE LIKE AN
EYEGLASS STORE COMPETING WITH WARBY PARKER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
GOT THESE AT CLAYTON ECHARD? THOSE THE NEW CLAYTON ECHARDS? >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE PRETTY RAD >> Steve: BING >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE LAST ONE.
>> Steve: IT IS? >> Jimmy: YES, FOR THIS EPISODE.
>> Steve: OH, OKAY YOU'RE GONNA DO MORE NEXT WEEK >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT?
>> Steve: YOU'RE GONNA DO SOME MORE NEXT WEEK >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: YEAH
>> Steve: BUT THIS IS THE LAST ONE. >> Jimmy: THIS IS MY
JASON BATEMAN. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY EVERYONE CALM DOWN OKAY
HE'S THE HOST OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW." TREAT HIM WITH -
COULD I GET SOME RESPECT IT'S HIS LAST GAME CAN WE JUST DO THE -
>> Steve: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM >> Jimmy: NOT BAD?
>> Steve: YEAH, THAT IS GOOD >> Jimmy: I'M WORKING ON IT. I'M WORKING ON IT.
YEAH, THAT'S IT. >> Steve: WHAT OTHER ONES YOU WORKING ON
>> Jimmy: I LOVE JASON BATEMAN >> Steve: HE'S A DELIGHT >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE ONE
BLAKE SHELTON I'M WORKING ON TOO A LITTLE BIT "WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "WHY WHY?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ALL I GOT
* THANK YOU, SKI BOOTS, FOR LOOKING LIKE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE
ABOUT UGGS THERE YOU HAVE IT EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THOSE ARE THE THANK YOU NOTES. WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE PLAYING SEARCH PARTY WITH THE CO-HOST
OF "QUEER EYE" AND JB SMOOVE STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Steve: WELCOME BACK TO THE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "SEARCH PARTY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* OH, PLAYING TONIGHT, WE HAVE THE CO-HOSTS OF "QUEER EYE" --
JONATHAN VAN NESS, ANTONI POROWSKI, TAN FRANCE AND BOBBY BERK
>> Jimmy: YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Steve: AND THEIR OPPONENTS -- >> Jimmy: THE WINNERS.
>> Steve: JIMMY FALLON, JB SMOOVE, QUESTLOVE AND DJ POYSER
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, FIRST UP -- OH, THERE YOU
GO NICE NICE, YEP.
OKAY, FIRST UP JIMMY AND JONATHAN COME ON UP
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> I'M SO NERVOUS.
OH MY GOD. >> Steve: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S HOW THE GAME WORKS
>> YEP >> Steve: I WILL READ YOU THE START OF AN INTERNET SEARCH
QUESTION, AND YOU WILL FILL IN THE BLANK. >> Jimmy: MM-HM.
>> OKAY. >> Steve: YOU'LL BOTH TYPE IN YOUR ANSWERS AS FAST AS YOU
CAN -- >> OH, MY GOD. >> Steve: AND THEN WE'LL MATCH
THEM TO SEE IF ANY OF THEM GO WITH THE TOP THREE OKAY
OKAY, HERE'S THE FIRST SEARCH. >> YOU GOT THIS. >> ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT
>> Steve: "ON A FIRST DATE, SHOULD YOU BLANK?" >> KEEP IT CLEAN
KEEP IT CLEAN, JOHNNY. >> Steve: TYPE IN THE ANSWER >> NO, JOHNNY.
>> AW, JOHNNY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: OKAY, JIMMY, WHAT DID
YOU WRITE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WROTE KISS
>> Steve: KISS [ LAUGHTER ] JONATHAN, WHAT DID YOU WRITE
>> HAVE SEX. >> Steve: DO WE HAVE ANY MATCHING ANSWERS
KISS [ RINGING >> OH, NO.
[ APPLAUSE ] [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Steve: JB -
>> YES >> Steve: -- "ON A FIRST DATE, SHOULD YOU BLANK?"
WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER >> GO DUTCH. >> Steve: GO DUTCH
LET'S SEE GO DUTCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THAT'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE
PICKED >> Steve: GO DUTCH >> THAT'S A GOOD ONE
[ RINGING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OH, NO.
>> I WAS SHOCKED [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> YOU KNOW HOW MANY DATES I
WENT ON -- YOU KNOW HOW MANY DATES I BEEN ON BEFORE I GOT MARRIED?
COME ON, MAN [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, NO.
>> Steve: OKAY, QUEST. >> Questlove: GO TO DINNER >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: GO TO DINNER LET'S SAY GO TO DINNER >> NO.
[ AUDIENCE AWS ] YOU GUYS CAN STEAL [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
[ SCREAMING >> I HAVE AN ANSWER. >> PRESSURE.
>> Jimmy: GET TOGETHER >> Steve: COME ON. COME ON.
>> WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT
>> Steve: BETWEEN KISS AND PAY -- >> WHAT IS IT?
>> NO, PUTTING - [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Steve: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> PICK THEM UP. >> HANDY A HANDY.
>> A HANDY >> NOT A HANDY IT'S NOT A HANDY
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WELL, THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> IT'S NOT THAT
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T SAY ANY OF THOSE WORDS. >> Steve: RIGHT.
DO YOU GUYS HAVE AN ANSWER >> TALK ABOUT THEIR EXES >> Steve: LET'S SEE, TALK ABOUT
YOUR EXES? >> AW. >> Steve: YOU WIN.
>> WE WIN. >> WE WON. >> WE WIN BABY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WHAT WAS IT >> Steve: LET'S SEE WHAT THE
LAST ANSWER WAS. DRINK. >> OH!
>> Steve: AWFUL, AWFUL PEOPLE. OKAY, TIME FOR ROUND TWO JB AND ANTONI, YOU'RE UP
LET'S GO * ANTONI, COME UP HERE
GET READY TO TYPE IN -- GET READY TO TYPE IN YOUR ANSWER >> OKAY, I'M FEELING GOOD.
>> YOU FEEL GOOD >> I FEEL GOOD >> Steve: COMPLETE THIS SEARCH
QUESTION "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BLANK? >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Jimmy: AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: LOCK IT IN GET READY. READY?
>> THAT'S A GOOD GUESS >> Steve: OKAY, ANTONI, WHAT DID YOU WRITE?
>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY CHILD? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THAT'S GOOD.
>> I LITERALLY GOOGLED THAT LAST WEEK. >> Steve: JB, WHAT DID YOU
WRITE? >> AND I WRITE, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY MIND?"
>> Steve: MIND - >> PEOPLE SAY THAT ALL THE TIME
[ APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT AM I DOING WHAT AM I DOING?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY MIND? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: LET'S SEE -- LET'S
SEE IF THERE'S A MATCH >> LET'S SEE >> OH!
>> Steve: OKAY, ANTONI, SINCE YOU BUZZED IN FIRST, YOU GET TO GUESS AGAIN.
>> GET TO GUESS AGAIN. >> CAN WE HELP DO I TYPE IT OR I SAY IT
>> DO WE HELP? >> Steve: I THINK YOU JUST SAY IT
>> CAN WE HELP >> I JUST SAY IT >> Steve: LIVE IT UP
>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY CAR? >> YES >> Steve: LET'S SEE CAR.
>> YES YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
OKAY, TAN. >> WE NEEDED THAT AMERICA. WE NEEDED THAT WIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BLANK?
WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SKIN >> Steve: SKIN
>> YEAH. >> GOOD ANSWER >> Steve: LET'S SEE SKIN
I BET THAT'S UP THERE. NO, IT'S NOT >> I COULD'VE DONE THAT SOUND
EFFECT BEFORE YOU. >> Steve: BOBBY -- >> HEALTH.
>> Steve: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY HEALTH LET'S SEE HEALTH
CHANCE TO STEAL. >> Jimmy: WE'VE GOT A CHANCE TO STEAL.
>> Steve: YOU GUYS GOT TO HUDDLE CHANCE TO STEAL.
>> I GOT ONE >> Jimmy: OKAY, QUESTLOVE SAYS PHONE.
JAMES SAYS WIFE. >> OH! >> Jimmy: I SAY PHONE.
>> Steve: PHONE? >> PHONE >> Steve: LET'S SEE PHONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THERE WE GO. >> WE GOT THE WIN.
>> Steve: YOU GUYS GOT THE WIN >> Steve: LET'S SEE WHAT THAT LAST ONE -
>> OH! >> OH, MY GOD. >> I SHOULD'VE KNOWN
>> Steve: YOU HAD IT YOU HAD IT AND THEY DID NOT LISTEN.
OKAY THIS IS THE FINAL ROUND, THE GAME, QUESTLOVE, TAN, YOU'RE
UP COME ON UP [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> TANNY, TANNY, TANNY, TANNY. >> Questlove: THANK YOU.
>> Steve: OKAY, READY? >> YES >> Steve: OKAY, NAME A WORD
THAT COMPLETES THIS INTERNET SEARCH >> OKAY.
>> Steve: "DO GUYS LIKE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH THEIR BLANK? >> I'M GOING TO SAY BIPPY.
>> HEY, TAN, TAN - >> TOO SPECIFIC. >> I THINK THAT WORKS, TOO
>> YEAH, I THINK THAT WORKS. >> YES >> Steve: IS EVERYBODY LOCKED
IN >> PRESS ENTER, THE GREEN BUTTON
>> Steve: OH, THERE YOU GO >> SORRY >> OKAY, QUEST, WHAT DID YOU
WRITE? YOU BUZZED IN FIRST. >> Questlove: AS A PERSON WITH
EXPERIENCE, I WOULD SAY THE ANSWER IS HAIR >> Steve: HAIR
OKAY, TAN, WHAT DID SAY? >> THAT FELT TOO OBVIOUS FOR ME, SO I THOUGHT EARS.
>> Steve: EARS [ LAUGHTER ] >> I HATE PEOPLE TOUCHING MY
EARS AND MY NECK, SO YEAH, EARS >> Steve: REALLY
LET'S SEE EARS AND HAIR. HAIR [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> OKAY GET BACK OVER THERE. >> Steve: OKAY, BACK TO YOU, JIMMY.
BACK TO YOU. YOU GET ONE MORE STRIKE. >> Jimmy: MUSIC?
STUFF. >> Steve: TOUCH THEIR STUFF. >> HOW SPECIFIC.
>> Steve: WHAT >> Steve: NO, OKAY YOU GUYS GET A CHANCE TO STEAL
>> IT'S OBVIOUSLY DO YOU LIKE THERE, BUT WE CAN'T SAY IT >> NO, NO, NO, IT'S DO GUYS
LIKE IT, NOT GUYS LIKE IT. IT'S DO GUYS LIKE IT >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
>> BUT, BUT, BUT >> I DON'T THINK THAT'S ALLOWED.
HE SAID IT'S A TV SHOW >> BUTT'S FINE >> BECAUSE ON NETFLIX WE CAN
SAY WHATEVER, YOU KNOW [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Steve: IS BUTT YOUR FINAL
ANSWER >> Jimmy: IS BUTT YOUR FINAL ANSWER
>> YES >> Steve: LET'S SEE BUTT >> OH!
>> AMERICA >> LET'S SEE THE ANSWERS >> WHAT ARE YOU GOOGLING
>> HANDS >> Steve: NEXT ONE - >> FACE.
>> I SAID FACE I SAID FACE. >> YOU SAID EARS
>> HE SAID EARS. >> Jimmy: JUDGES >> JUDGES.
[ BUZZER ] [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> WE WON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: "QUEER EYE" SEASON
SIX IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX. THANK YOU JB SMOOVE.
"SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME" IS IN THEATERS NOW MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUESTS ARE THE CO-HOSTS OF THE HUGE,
NINE-TIME EMMY-WINNING SHOW, "QUEER EYE," WHICH JUST PREMIERED IT'S SIXTH SEASON ON
NETFLIX. PLEASE WELCOME ANTONI POROWSKI, BOBBY BERK, JONATHAN VAN NESS
AND TAN FRANCE
* *
>> Jimmy: IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU
THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK ON THE SHOW I THINK THE LAST TIME --
>> THANKS FOR ALLOWING US BACK >> Jimmy: THE LAST TIME WE WERE ALL TOGETHER WAS, LIKE, SUMMER
OF 2020, I WANT TO SAY >> REMEMBER SUMMER OF 2020 [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
>> IT WAS 2019 >> Jimmy: NO, WAS IT >> IN PERSON
IN PERSON. >> BECAUSE, WE WENT ON A BOAT, LIKE, IN 2020.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> REMEMBER, KARAMO THREW UP IT WAS A WHOLE THING
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, KARAMO -- YEAH, BY THE WAY, HE'S NOT HERE TONIGHT.
WE WILL SAY -- >> BECAUSE HE'S THROWING UP AGAIN.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> YEAH, HE'S LIKE, DOING A -- HE'S NOT GOING TO RISK IT.
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> WE LOVE YOU >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> WE LOVE HIM >> Jimmy: LET'S GO THROUGH ALL OF YOU, BECAUSE WE HAD -- A LOT
OF THINGS HAPPENED SINCE YOU'VE ALL BEEN HERE TOGETHER TAN, YOU'VE BECOME A FATHER?
>> YEAH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> MY LITTLE BABY ISMAEL
I WAS SHOCKED THAT - WELL, WE GOT SO CLOSE THAT - JONATHAN CARRIED MY CHILD FOR
ME, WHICH WAS REALLY SWEET [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> THE BOUNCE BACK WAS REAL
HEAVY. >> NO, YOU DID SUCH A GOD JOB WITH THE LABOR
THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> YEAH. >> YEAH, ISMAEL.
AND HE IS SIX-MONTHS-OLD AND HE IS JUST -- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. >> Jimmy: JONATHAN, YOU
ANNOUNCED THAT YOU'RE MARRIED. >> WHAT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YEAH CONGRATULATIONS. *
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> I DID IT. I DID IT
>> Jimmy: WAIT, WAIT WHAT -- HOW ARE YOU LOVING MARRIED LIFE
>> IT REALLY IS SO MUCH FUN. HE'S, OBVIOUSLY, STUNNING AND YEAH, I'M LIKE MARRIED AND IT'S
LIKE REALLY FUN. AND WHO KNEW >> I KNEW.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, WELL, YOU KNEW [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> YOU KNEW.
>> WELL WHO KNEW YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN A TIME WHEN, LIKE, MARRIAGE EQUALITY
WASN'T A THING AND SO I'M SO HAPPY THAT I GET TO BE ON THIS JOURNEY AND GET
TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS SO HOT. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN. >> Jimmy: BOBBY, YOU DID SOMETHING THAT NOT MANY PEOPLE
CAN SAY. YOU WERE ON "THE MASKED SINGER."
YOU WERE - >> I WAS A PIG - >> Jimmy: HE WAS A CATERPILLAR
ON "THE MASKED SINGER. [ APPLAUSE ] >> HE WAS SO GOOD.
>> IT WAS GREAT. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. AND THE LARGEST COSTUME IN
"MASKED SINGER" HISTORY. AND THE HEAVIEST AND ALSO THE HOTTEST.
I THINK IT WAS ABOUT 120 DEGREES IN THERE THE FIRST PERFORMANCE, I ABOUT
PASSED OUT THE SECOND PERFORMANCE, I LEARNED TO HAVE THEM PUT ME IN
AN ICE VEST. AND IT WAS COMPLETELY PACKED WITH ICE
IT WAS THE BEST. I'M GOING TO WEAR THEM NOW FROM WHEN WE FILM IN THE HOTTEST
STATES IN AMERICA NEXT SEASON. >> Jimmy: ANTONI, IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU.
EVERYONE'S ON THE INTERNET IS TALKING ABOUT THIS ON THE SHOW, OUT OF NOWHERE,
LET'S JUST SAY THERE'S LITTLE BUMPERS, THERE'S THINGS, THERE'S ACTION SHOTS
YOU RESCUED A DOG. >> I DID >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH >> Jimmy: NEON >> NEON THE MUTT, IF YOU WANT
TO FOLLOW HER ON SOCIALS [ APPLAUSE ] SHE'S A LOVELY, LOVELY PIT
RESCUE FROM A REALLY GREAT ORGANIZATION IN AUSTIN CALLED AUSTIN PETS ALIVE WHERE YOU
ALSO ADOPT THEY DO REALLY DO GOD'S WORK >> Jimmy: THERE WAS SOMETHING
THAT WE SAW ON THE SHOW THAT EVERYONE WAS, LIKE, TALKING ABOUT, PROBABLY BECAUSE OF THE
DOG, I'M ASSUMING. >> ABSOLUTELY. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, HERE IS A PHOTO OF YOU WASHING THE DOG [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, SO CLEARLY - >> I LIKE HOW SHE'S STARING RIGHT AT THE BELLY BUTTON.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> IT WAS A VERY HOT DAY >> OH, REALLY, HE'S WAS
A MASKED CATERPILLAR [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WE NEED TO TALK
"QUEER EYE" BECAUSE, MAN OH, MAN, I - YOU KNOW I LOVE THE SHOW
AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT AND THE FIRST EPISODE ALWAYS GETS ME.
AND I GO "OH, YEAH." BUT THIS ONE REALLY GOT ME, BECAUSE WHEN YOU STARTED
FILMING, IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE THE PANDEMIC >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SO YOU WERE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS. YOU'RE FILMING
IT'S AN AMAZING STORY. MOVING AND THEN, THERE'S NO END
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: LIKE, TAN, WHAT WAS GOING DOWN
>> YOU KNOW, WE WENT INTO THIS THINKING, "YEAH, MAYBE THE PANDEMIC ISN'T GOING TO REALLY
TAKE OFF IN THE U.S. AND WE'LL JUST GO SHOOT THE SHOW."
AND THEN, LITERALLY, A FEW DAYS LATER, WE HAD JUST FINISHED -- YOU KNOW WHEN WE DO THE REVEAL
WHERE WE SHOW THEM THE HOME, WE PUT THEM IN THE NEW OUTFIT WE HAD DONE THAT
AND THEN WE LEFT FOR THE WEEKEND. AND WE JUST DIDN'T COME BACK
FOR OVER A YEAR. AND SO THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME, EVER, ON "QUEER EYE" WHERE WE
GOT TO SEE HOW OUR LESSONS WERE TAKEN ON BY OUR HERO AND SO, A YEAR LATER WE GOT TO
REVISIT AND HOW LIFE CHANGED SO MUCH SHE'S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH
>> Jimmy: I WAS LIKE - SOMETIMES YOU SEE THESE SHOWS AND YOU GO LIKE, OH, YEAH THEY
CHANGED HER LIFE, OR THEY CHANGE THEIR HAIR. AND A YEAR LATER, THEY'RE BACK
TO NORMAL. HER LIFE ACTUALLY CHANGED, AND IT WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL
YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO FREAK OUT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT ALREADY IT'S SO COOL
AND IT IS SO GOOD. >> YOU'RE MAKING ME TEARY EYED >> I LOVE YOU.
>> WELL, BECAUSE IT'S BITTERSWEET. >> Jimmy: IT'S JUST A BEAUTIFUL
THING AND IT'S REAL. AND IT'S SO AWESOME. THE WHOLE SEASON IS AWESOME.
I JUST WANT TO SAY CONGRATS, ALSO THIS MIGHT BE THE AWESOMEST --
YOU GUYS ARE OFFICIALLY LEGOS, DID YOU KNOW THAT? >> ISN'T THAT WILD
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> MY CHILDHOOD DREAM COME TRUE
>> IT'S SO WILD. >> Jimmy: WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE
>> IT'S PRETTY FREAKING COOL IT WAS MY FAVORITE TOY GROWING UP
AND -- YEAH. >> Jimmy: PEOPLE ARE GOING TO STEP ON YOU GUYS AND SCREAM.
>> I WAS HOPING -- I WAS HOPING -- I HAVE THIS FANTASY THAT, LIKE, TED CRUZ'S
OR MITCH McCONNELL'S, LIKE, NEPHEW OF NIECE OR, LIKE, NIBBLING, SOMEONE'S GOING TO
SNEAK THEM SNEAK THEM A "QUEER EYE" LEGO SET. AND THEN IT'S GOING TO, LIKE,
FALL OFF THE TABLE AND, LIKE, MY LEGO WILL BE UNDERNEATH ONE OF THEIR FEET
AND THEY'LL JUST GO "OW! AND THEN - [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: I'M ALWAYS SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU GUYS. THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH TIME TO
TALK TO YOU GUYS I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE ARE THE FAB FIVE IN THE
NEW SEASON OF "QUEER EYE." TAKE A LOOK.
THAN TWO ANTONIS
SHE'S A POWERFUL WOMAN >> DID I JUST SEE QUEER GYM? >> YES
QUEER WOMAN OWNED. QUEER WOMEN RAN. >> WOW
>> YEAH! >> YOU'RE JUST SHOWING OFF AT THIS POINT
>> HELLO TWO. >> IF YOU HELD THIS IN FRONT OF
ME, I WOULD, LIKE, REALLY JUST KEEP - KEEP COMING FOR IT
>> KEEP COMING FOR IT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: ANTONI POROWSKI, BOBBY BERK, JONATHAN VAN NESS, AND TAN FRANCE
SEASON SIX OF "QUEER EYE" IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
JB SMOOVE. COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY TALENTED ACTOR AND COMEDIAN
HE STARS IN HBO'S "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" AND YOU CAN SEE HIM IN "SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME"
WHICH IS IN THEATERS NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME JB SMOOVE.
* *
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT THERE THAT'S HOW TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE >> I KNOW EVERYBODY SITS THERE,
BUT WOULD IT BE COOL IF I DID THIS RIGHT HERE? [ CHEER
IS IT TOO MUCH >> Jimmy: YEAH - NO, YOU CAN DO IT THAT WAY AS
WELL THAT'S MORE THERAPY THAT WAY, BUT --
BUT YOU LOOK LIKE A STUD YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, BY THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU,
JB >> YOU KNOW, I LOVE FASHION AND I LOVE LOOKING GOOD ALL OF THE
TIME, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO
>> I LOVE IT I THINK IT'S A LOST ART. >> Jimmy: FASHION.
>> FASHION >> YES >> Jimmy: LET ME JUST SAY
SOMETHING. I'VE KNOWN YOU A LONG TIME YOU WERE RIGHT AROUND "SNL."
VERY, VERY FUNNY YOU'RE ALWAYS NICE TO ME BUT I REMEMBER YOU LIKED
COMICS AND YOU LIKE COMIC BOOKS THIS IS WHEN, LIKE -
NO ONE WAS REALLY -- BUT YOU LIKED COMIC BOOKS AND WOULD TALK ABOUT THEM AND PITCH
IDEAS. AND NOW YOU'RE IN THE LAST TWO SPIDER-MAN FILMS
YOU'RE IN THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME [ CHEERS ]
>> IT IS ABSOLUTELY -- >> Jimmy: YOU DID IT >> ABSOLUTELY A BLESSING, MAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID FOR -- YOU KNOW WHAT, I SAT IN THE AUDIENCE WATCHING AN "AVENGERS"
MOVIE AND I TOLD MY WIFE I SAID, "BABY," THAT'S MY WIFE, SHAH, I SAID, "BABY, I WOULD
LOVE TO BE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE ONE DAY." AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'M
GET A CALL AND I'M DOING A AUDI COMMERCIAL WITH TOM HOLLAND, WHICH WAS ONE
OF THE SPONSORS OF "FAR FROM HOME." >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND IT WORKED OUT GREAT WE HAD A GREAT TIME. YOU KNOW, WE CONNECTED
WE LAUGHED AT THE COMMERCIAL NEXT THING YOU KNOW, A FEW MONTHS LATER, THEY GIVE ME A
A CALL FOR THE MOVIE AND THEN, OF COURSE, THEY BROUGHT MY CHARACTER BACK FOR
"NO WAY HOME." THIS IS GREAT. I LOVE IT.
>> Jimmy: MR. DELL >> MR. DELL. >> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THIS
HOW ABOUT THIS HOW ABOUT THIS I THINK YOU DO A MR. DELL
SPINOFF. >> OH -- JIMMY [ CHEERS ]
JIMMY, DON'T START NOTHING, MAN. YOU KNOW I LOVE TO BE --
YOU KNOW A LOVE COMIC BOOKS. I WOULD LOVE TO BE - THE FIRST THING I DID WHEN HE
CALLED ME ABOUT DOING "SPIDER-MAN," THE FIRST THING YOU ASK IF MARVEL CALLS YOU
ABOUT ANYTHING IS "WHAT ARE MY POWERS?" >> Jimmy: YES, OF COURSE
>> SEE, AND THEY TOLD ME I WAS A TEACHER. SO I HAD THE POWER OF
KNOWLEDGE. BUT IT'S OKAY. BUT YOU KNOW I LOVE ME SOME
SUPERHEROES, MAN I GOT A LOT OF IDEAS FOR MY OWN CHARACTERS
YOU KNOW, NOW I WOULD LOVE TO BE A CHARACTER THAT FLIES. >> Jimmy: OKAY
>> BUT I'M A LITTLE SCARED OF HEIGHTS. SO I WOULD FLY TWO FEET OFF THE
GROUND [ LAUGHTER ] JUST TWO FEET.
>> Jimmy: FLOAT, OR PARALLEL >> JUST -- NO. THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION
IF YOU FLOAT LIKE THIS, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE RIDING A SEGWAY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, LIKE
THIS THAT' AIN'T BAD. >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT BAD
>> BUT, I WANT TO FLY. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE AND SAY HI.
AND PEOPLE COULD TOUCH ME, TOO BE LIKE, "HEY, GOOD JOB. YOU KNOW
YOU COULD GO TO STARBUCKS. WHY, YOU CAN FLY BY A STARBUCKS, YOU KNOW?
DO DRIVE-THRUS, YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: BUT, YOU'RE ONLY TWO FEET OFF THE GROUND.
>> IF I'M TWO FEET OFF THE GROUND, I GOT TO FOLLOW ALL THE TRAFFIC RULES.
I CAN'T JUST GO THROUGH A RED LIGHT. I SEE THE LIGHT.
I CAN'T JUST GO THROUGH IT I'LL CAUSE AN ACCIDENT >> Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT THIS?
WHAT IF YOU CAME OUT AS A VILLAIN? >> OH, THE VILLAIN
I WOULD BE A -- CHARACTER CALLED SUCKER PUNCH. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HE HAS THE GIFT OF GAB HE'LL TALK TO YOU. AND NEXT, HE'LL GET YOUR GUARD
DOWN A LITTLE BIT. AND HE PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE HEY MAN.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> HE'S A GREAT HERO >> Jimmy: SUCKER PUNCH
>> SUCKER PUNCH. >> Jimmy: I WAS LOOKING FOR A LAUGH THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN
AND I GO, "MAN, I FORGOT THAT 'CURB' JUST WRAPPED. 11 SEASONS
"CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM," IT'S AS FUNNY AS IT ALWAYS IS. YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST MAN ON
TELEVISION >> AW, MAN, I APPRECIATE YOU >> Jimmy: IT IS.
YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE MAN. IT WAS A GREAT SEASON.
YOU ARE JUST -- YOU AND LARRY, LARRY DAVID, IT'S JUST -- IT'S JUST SO FUN TO WATCH
I WISH IT WAS LIKE THREE HOURS LONG >> Jimmy: AND -- ARE YOU -
AND DO YOU CRACK HIM UP? >> WE -- YOU KNOW WHAT, AS A A COMEDIAN, WE HAVE GREAT
INTENTIONS FOR OUR AUDIENCE. BUT WE HAVE BAD INTENTIONS WE WANT YOU TO WET YOUR PANTS.
WE WANT YOU TO DO ALL OF THESE THINGS WHEN I'M PERFORMING WITH LARRY,
I DON'T BREAK. I DON'T BREAK AT ALL I GIVE HIM THE LINE, AND IN MY
BACK OF MY MIND IS -- IN THE BACK OF MY BRAIN, I'M THINKING "I'M GOING TO MAKE A SNOT
BUBBLE COME OUT HIS NOSE." [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S MY -- THAT'S MY
MOTIVATION I WANT TO SEE A SNOT BUBBLE. >> Jimmy: TO COME OUT OF
LARRY DAVID'S NOSE >> BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE HOLD THEIR LAUGHTER IN, AND SEE THEM
CRACKING A LITTLE BIT. 'CAUSE LARRY, YOU CAN TELL LARRY'S CRACKING 'CAUSE HIS
RIGHT OR LEFT OF HIS MOUTH GOES LIKE THIS. HE DOES THAT A LITTLE BIT.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HIM BREAKING. >> HE'S TRYING TO HOLD IT IN >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW
EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S JB SMOOVE AND LARRY DAVID IN "CURB YOUR
ENTHUSIASM." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
TO GO. >> WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, YOU PAID FOR THE PLANE
TICKET IT HAS MARY FERGUSON'S NAME ON IT
IT'S NONREFUNDABLE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, EAT IT
>> NO, I'M GOING TO FIND ME ANOTHER MARY FERGUSON. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> I PUT AN AD OUT I'M GOING GET THEM ALL HERE. I'M GOING TO AUDITION A BUNCH
OF MARY FERGUSONS. FIND THE ONE I LIKE. TAKE HER ASS TO ASIA
>> WHAT RANDOM MARY FERGUSON IS GOING TO ASIA WITH SOME STRANGER WHO'S PROBABLY
A SOCIOPATH. >> YOU'RE FORGETTING ONE KEY THING HERE
FREE WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO GO TO ASIA FOR FREE
THEY'LL TAKE THAT CHANCE WAKING UP DEAD FOR A FREE TRIP TO ASIA, I PROMISE YOU.
>> I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: JB SMOOVE, SEASON 11 OF "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" IS STREAMING ON HBO MAX AND
"SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME" IS IN THEATERS NOW JB SMOOVE!
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN WE COMEBACK COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST CAN BE
SEEN AT THE DENVER COMEDY WORKS SOUTH, FEBRUARY 10th THROUGH THE 12th
PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY MATTHEW BROUSSARD.
*
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU SO MUCH. APPRECIATE THAT.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Y'ALL DOING GOOD
[ CHEERS ] AWESOME. I'M DOING GREAT.
MY GIRLFRIEND AND I JUST CELEBRATED FIVE YEARS TOGETHER FIVE YEARS
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YES, WE'RE FIGHTING LESS NOW WE DID TWO THINGS.
WE LEARNED EACH OTHER'S LOVE LANGUAGES. I RECOMMEND THAT
THERE'S FIVE OF THEM THEY'RE GIFTS, WORDS, SERVICE, TIME, AND AFFECTION.
MY LOVE LANGUAGE IS WORDS. HER LOVE LANGUAGE IS GIFTS, WORDS, SERVICE, TIME, AND
AFFECTION. [ LAUGHTER ] YAHTZEE.
YES. WE ALSO GOT A CAT. HE IS THE LOVE OUR LIFE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YES. HIS NAME IS PASSWORD
[ LAUGHTER ] MY GIRLFRIEND WORKS IN CYBERSECURITY, AND THE MOST
COMMONLY USED PASSWORD IS YOUR PET'S NAME, AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE CHANGING MINE, SO
PASSWORD, IT STAYS [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU.
SHE HAS A GREAT JOB, MY GIRLFRIEND, SHE WORKS IN TECH. I MADE A MISTAKE RECENTLY.
I LOOKED AT HER TAX DOCUMENTS. I LEARNED SHE MAKES FOUR TIMES WHAT I DO.
SO I AM A FEMINIST, YES, THAT'S WHAT THAT MAKES ME [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "WHAT KIND OF FEMINIST ARE YOU INTERSECTIONAL
THIRD WAVE?" I'M LIKE, "INDENTURED. I DON'T KNOW."
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M FIGHTING FOR MY MATERNITY LEAVE.
YOU UNDERSTAND I'M NOT TRYING TO RELY ON HER FINANCIALLY, BUT IN CASE OF
EMERGENCY, BREAK THE GLASS CEILING. THAT'S MY BUMPER STICKER THAT I
PUT ON MY LAPTOP BECAUSE I DON'T OWN A CAR. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND IT'S A WEIRD FEELING I'VE ALWAYS STRUGGLED TO FIND A BALANCE BETWEEN BEING A GOOD
BOYFRIEND AND MY JOB, AND NOW BEING A GOOD BOYFRIEND IS MY JOB.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE SHE APPROVED MY PTO.
I'M ON CALL RIGHT NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND I LOVE COMEDY.
I MEAN, "TONIGHT SHOW" IS A DREAM COME TRUE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
BUT BECAUSE OF HER INCOME, THIS IS JUST A CUTE HOBBY THAT'S ALL THIS IS
EVERYTHING I'M DOING COULD BE SUMMED UP BY HER AT A DINNER PARTY BEING LIKE, "HONEY,
HONEY, COME SHOW THEM YOU'RE LITTLE TRICK COME ON, DO ONE OF YOUR LITTLE
SKITS. ISN'T THAT PRECIOUS? [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S CHANGED MY MOTIVATIONS. I USED TO WORK OUT FOR FITNESS, NOW I WORK OUT FOR JOB
SECURITY [ LAUGHTER ] I GOT TO KEEP THIS ASS TIGHT
IF I GET SHREDDED, SO DOES THE PRENUP THAT'S MY INSPO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE HAS NOT FIGURED OUT HOW MUCH POWER SHE NOW HAS OVER ME
SHE ASKED ME RECENTLY, "WOULD YOU EVER LEAVE ME? AND I SAID, "IT WOULD HAVE TO
BE A COMPETITIVE OFFER I'M NOT JUMPING SHIP FOR NOTHING.
I'M NOT TRYING TO BE SOME ENTRY LEVEL F-BOY FREELANCING WITH NO HEALTH INSURANCE
[ LAUGHTER ] SHE WASN'T MAKING A LOT OF MONEY WHEN WE FIRST STARTED
DATING AT THAT POINT, SHE WAS A A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE
I WAS NOT. I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT SPORTS. I KNOW I LOOK LIKE I PLAYED
LACROSSE FOR SLYTHERIN [ LAUGHTER ] BUT I'M NOT A COORDINATED
PERSON SHE WAS A SWIMMER, AND WE HAD KIND OF A ROCKY START.
TWO MONTHS AFTER WE STARTED DATING, SHE WENT TO THE U.S. OLYMPIC TRIALS
SHE WAS A TOP CONTENDER TO MAKE THE OLYMPIC TEAM, AND SHE DIDN'T
AND IT IS VERY PAINFUL WHEN A PERSON WORKS THEIR WHOLE LIFE AT ONE GOAL AND MISSES, AND
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN DATING THAT PERSON FOR TWO MONTHS. THAT WAS A LOT FOR ME TO DEAL
WITH ON OUR SEVENTH DATE WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? YOU'RE LIKE, "HEY, SORRY YOU
FAILED AT YOUR DREAMS, ALSO WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? MINE'S LAWRENCE.
ISN'T THAT EMBARRASSING? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "DO YOU HAVE ANY FOOD
ALLERGIES? DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, ANY MORE?"
[ LAUGHTER ] I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO MAKE THE TEAM, WHICH MEANS SHE WOULD
GO TO THE OLYMPICS BUT SHE WOULD ALSO GO TO THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE WHICH IS
FAMOUSLY DEBAUCHEROUS. IT'S ALL OF THE BEST ATHLETES IN THE WORLD, PARTYING,
DRINKING, ROMANCE. AND MY BROTHER ASKED ME, "WHAT IF SHE CHEATS ON YOU?"
AND I SAID, "WELL, THEN SHE BETTER GET PREGNANT, BECAUSE WHATEVER SHE POPS OUT, I WILL
RAISE LIKE MY FLESH AND BLOOD. I WILL BE THE PROUDEST DAD AT FIELD DAY.
LIKE, 'THAT'S MY SON.'" AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "LOOKS A LOT LIKE USAIN BOLT.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M LIKE, "YEAH, PEOPLE SAID THAT ABOUT ME AT THAT AGE.
THEY DID." [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU.
HERE'S THE TWIST I'VE BEEN DOING COMEDY FOR TEN YEARS, I'VE BEEN DATING HER FOR
FIVE YEARS ONE YEAR AGO, SHE STARTED DOING COMEDY AS WELL
WHICH MEANS SHE WATCHED ME DO THIS FOR FOUR YEARS, AND WAS LIKE, "SEEMS EASY ENOUGH
IF THIS CLOWN CAN DO IT, SCOOT OVER." [ LAUGHTER ]
I ALWAYS WANTED MY WORK TO BE INSPIRING, BUT NOT IN A "RUDY" KIND OF WAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND SHE WAS VERY SECRETIVE ABOUT IT
SHE WOULDN'T LET ME WATCH, AND THEN WE GOT BOOKED ON A SHOW TOGETHER
AND I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS FOR HER, AND I GOT TO SEE HER PERFORM, AND IT WAS AWESOME.
BECAUSE SHE'S GOOD SHE'S REALLY GOOD. BUT SHE'S ALSO NOT AS GOOD AS
ME, WHICH -- OH, THANK GOD [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE STRONG ACT, BUT DON'T QUIT OUR
DAY JOB. [ LAUGHTER ] SOMEONE HAS TO PAY 3/4ths OF
THE RENT AROUND HERE HEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: FANTASTIC. COME ON.
MATTHEW BROUSSARD. MATTHEW BROUSSARD, HE'LL BE AT THE DENVER COMEDY WORKS SOUTH
FEBRUARY 10th TO THE 12th. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO CO-HOSTS OF "QUEER EYE," JB SMOOVE, MATTHEW BROUSSARD, ONCE AGAIN
AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE