>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THIS YEAR, I'M STICKING TO MY NEW YEAR'S
RESOLUTIONS. I AM SAYING YES TO EVERYTHING. [ KNOCKING ]
>> HEY, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: HEY, SARAH >> DO YOU THINK I COULD GET
A RAISE? >> Jimmy: YES. >> YES
>> HEY, JIMBO, YOU COMING TO MY ONE-MAN SHOW IT'S SATURDAY AT 8:00.
>> Jimmy: YES. >> 8:00 A.M. >> Jimmy: YES.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Questlove: YO, JIMMY, THE ROOTS AND I DECIDED WE'RE
A KAZOO BAND NOW * IT IS NOT GOING TO BE
A PROBLEM, IS IT >> Jimmy: YES. >> Questlove: YES, IT'S GOING
TO BE A PROBLEM OR, YES, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM? >> Jimmy: YES?
>> Questlove: YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS POLISH THOSE KAZOOS, WE GOT
A SHOW TO DO * >> Jimmy: I DID IT
I SAID YES TO EVERYTHING IT WASN'T THAT BAD [ PHONE VIBRATING
POTENTIAL SPAM HELLO? >> HI, DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO
TALK ABOUT YOUR CAR'S EXTENDED WARRANTY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NOOO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS
GUESTS - ANTHONY ANDERSON ADAM DEVINE,
MUSICAL GUEST CARLY PEARCE AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW
>> Questlove: 1575 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW, MY GOODNESS
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT. I LOVE YOU
WELCOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I APPRECIATE IT, PLEASE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW. WOW. [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
GREAT. I'D LIKE TO START BY WISHING EVERYBODY A HAPPY NEW YEAR
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE * I CAN ALREADY TELL 2
2022 IS GOING TO BE BETTER THAN 2021 MOSTLY BECAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
FOR IT TO NOT BE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL,
AMERICANS SAY THE ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRIBES THEIR MOOD ABOUT 2022 IS "HOPEFUL."
THEN 2021 HEARD AND WAS LIKE, "YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH LIFE HAS CHANGED. IN JUST TWO YEARS, OUR
RESOLUTIONS WENT FROM "RUN A A MARATHON" TO "ONLY SPEND FOUR HOURS A DAY ON TIKTOK.
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS YEAR MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS TO HAVE MORE
SELF-CONFIDENCE, BUT I JUST KNOW I'LL SCREW IT UP SOMEHOW. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
I LIKE HAVING NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BECAUSE YOU CAN JUST MAKE THEM UP AS YOU GO,
SORT OF LIKE THE CDC RULES ON COVID. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] SPEAKING OF NEW YEAR'S, I SAW THAT JEFF BEZOS CELEBRATED AT
A '70s-THEMED DISCO PARTY, AND HE DEFINITELY DRESSED THE PART HERE'S A PHOTO
[ LAUGHTER ] LOOK AT THOSE PANTS! AS THEY SAY OVER AT AMAZON,
THAT'S A TIGHT PACKAGE >> Steve: OY [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, TODAY PRESIDENT BIDEN FLEW INTO WASHINGTON, D.C., FROM DELAWARE RIGHT AS A
A MAJOR SNOWSTORM WAS HITTING, AND WHEN HE LANDED HE ACTUALLY GOT STUCK ON AIR FORCE ONE
BECAUSE THEY HAD TROUBLE DRIVING THE STAIRS OVER TO THE PLANE.
CHECK THIS OUT
OOH.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH
WHEW, MAN, WE WERE THIS CLOSE TO SEEING THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES JUMP DOWN AN
INFLATABLE SLIDE [ LAUGHTER ] THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO -- THIS
CLOSE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN?
I'D LIKE TO LOOK AT THE VIDEO AGAIN BECAUSE I LOVE THE TWO GUYS OFF TO THE SIDE, WATCHING
[ LAUGHTER ] STANDING THERE WATCHING, PUSHING THE GIANT STAIR.
[ LAUGHTER ] "YEAH, GOOD JOB, YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB
GOOD WORK. THANKFULLY, BIDEN FINALLY DID MAKE IT OFF THE PLANE.
HERE HE IS WALKING OUT
>> Jimmy: YEAH
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT THE LAST TIME D.C. WAS HIT WITH
THAT MUCH WHITENESS, IT WAS JANUARY 6th. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
[ APPLAUSE ] COMING IN HOT! COMING BACK HOT.
WITH THE RETWEETABLE JOKES THERE YOU GO
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, THERE HASN'T BEEN THAT MUCH WHITE POWDER
SINCE JEFF BEZOS'S NEW YEAR'S PARTY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
COME ON. IF YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK, BIDEN CAN SOMEHOW WALK DOWN A FLIGHT
OF ICY STAIRS IN THE SNOW BUT NOT UP A FLIGHT OF STAIRS WHEN IT'S NICE OUT.
WATCH THIS
>> Jimmy: OH, OH
OH, BOY. IT'S THE THIRD ONE IS THE ONE THAT GETS YOU, YEAH.
SOME MORE TRAVEL PROBLEMS. THIS WEEKEND, OVER 5,000 FLIGHTS WERE CANCELLED,
LARGELY DUE TO COVID YEAH, AIRLINES ARE HAVING A TOUGH TIME STAFFING THEIR
FLIGHTS. YOU CAN TELL JUST LISTEN TO THIS CAPTAIN'S
ANNOUNCEMENT I HEARD
IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING, AND
I'M THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE FLIGHT CREW. [ LAUGHTER ]
WE'LL GET GOING AFTER I, UH, FINISH LOADING YOUR BAGS ONTO THE PLANE.
ONCE WE REACH 30,000 FEET I'LL, UH, TIE A BUNGEE CORD TO THE CONTROLS AND PASS OUT DRINKS
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ANYWAY, IF THE WI-FI DOESN'T WORK, I, UH, DARE YOU TO
COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT IT. [ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT.
THANKS FOR FLYING SPIRIT AIRLINES WHERE OUR SLOGAN IS, UH, "ROLLING THE DICE IN THE
SKY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: ROLLING THE DICE
WOW. >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF COVID,
THE CDC RECENTLY ISSUED A WARNING TO AVOID CRUISE SHIPS REGARDLESS OF VACCINATION
STATUS I'M SORRY, THAT WAS NEWS FROM 2018
[ LAUGHTER ] HEY, ON THE OTHER HAND, THOUGH, LOOK, YOU BOOK A ONE-WEEK
CRUISE AND TEST POSITIVE, YOU GOT YOURSELF A THREE-WEEK CRUISE
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE THINK ABOUT IT YOU GOT TO DO THE MATH
MEANWHILE, THE CDC HAS CUT THEIR RECOMMENDED ISOLATION TIME IN HALF, AND NOW IT SAYS
YOU ONLY NEED TO QUARANTINE FOR FIVE DAYS. YEAH, A LOT OF COVID
REGULATIONS KEEP CHANGING THE LONGER THE PANDEMIC GOES ON. FOR EXAMPLE, BACK THEN DOCTORS
SAID TO COUGH DIRECTLY INTO YOUR ELBOW NOW DOCTORS SAY JUST HAVE FUN
OUT THERE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
HERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE THEN THE CDC SAID TO AVOID LARGE INDOOR GATHERINGS.
NOW THE CDC SAYS PARTIES ARE FINE, AS LONG AS YOU SET UP A SMALLER "TESTED POSITIVE"
TABLE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ALSO, BACK THEN YOU HAD TO WASH
YOUR HANDS FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWICE.
BUT NOW YOU CAN SING IT AT THE SPEED APPLEBY'S EMPLOYEES DO WHEN YOU CAN TELL THEY'RE NOT
REALLY INTO IT [ APPLAUSE ] AND FINALLY, BACK THEN THEY
SAID TO AVOID MISINFORMATION BY STAYING OFF THE INTERNET, BUT NOW THE INTERNET IS WHERE YOU
LIVE NOW IT IS YOUR HOME. [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
WELL, SOME NEWS FROM OVERSEAS. YESTERDAY SOUTH KOREA SAID THAT AN UNIDENTIFIED PERSON CROSSED
THE BORDER INTO NORTH KOREA. REALLY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE RUNNING OUT OF DISNEYLAND AND INTO NORTH KOREA.
[ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING WORSE.
WELL, EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
JETS/BUCCANEERS GAME YESTERDAY, TAMPA BAY WIDE RECEIVER ANTONIO -- YOU KNEW I HAD TO
TALK ABOUT IT. [ LAUGHTER ] ANTONIO BROWN GOT A LITTLE
UPSET AND DECIDED TO LEAVE THE GAME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
VERY UPSET ON THE SIDELINES. TOOK OFF HIS SHOULDER PADS
HE TOSSED HIS SHOULDER PADS, STRIPPED OFF HIS SHIRT AND GLOVES, THREW THOSE INTO THE
CROWD, THEN RAN ACROSS THE FIELD WHILE THE TEAMS WERE STILL ON THE FIELD, GIVING THE
CROWD A PEACE-OUT SIGN [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BEFORE YOU JUDGE HIM,
THAT'S THE SAME WAY ANDY COHEN LEFT TIMES SQUARE ON SATURDAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH, BOY. >> Jimmy: I HAVE A FEELING
AFTER ONE MORE VARIANT, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW DR. FAUCI IS GOING TO SAY GOODBYE
[ LAUGHTER ] "I'M OUT!" AND, FINALLY, A WOMAN CHOSE TO
QUARANTINE IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM FOR THREE HOURS AFTER SHE TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID
MID-FLIGHT IT WASN'T REALLY A TOUGH CHOICE
IT WAS EITHER THAT OR THE OVERHEAD BIN YOU KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, A SECOND PASSENGER SPENT THREE HOURS IN THE OTHER
BATHROOM AFTER TESTING POSITIVE FOR THE HUMMUS WRAP. [ APPLAUSE ]
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HAPPY NEW YEAR,
EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT IS MONDAY
WE'RE SO EXCITED TO BE BACK. WE'RE KICKING OFF 2022 WITH A GREAT WEEK OF SHOWS.
CATE BLANCHETT WILL BE HERE. KENAN THOMPSON [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MILO VENTIMIGLIA AND THE CO-HOSTS OF "QUEER EYE" WILL ALL BE JOINING US THIS
WEEK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT FIRST WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE
FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE SERIES "BLACK-ISH."
[ CHEERS ] THE FINAL SEASON PREMIERS -- I KNOW, WE LOVE HIM.
THE FINAL SEASON PREMIERES TOMORROW NIGHT ON ABC. THE VERY FUNNY ANTHONY ANDERSON
IS HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE
HBO SERIES "THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES. ADAM DEVINE IS JOINING US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE'S VERY FNNY AND WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC,
GREAT, GREAT MUSIC FROM CARLY PEARCE, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CARLY PEARCE I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD BREAK.
WE WERE OFF FOR TWO WEEKS, AND WE DOUBLE TAPED ON THURSDAY, AND WE HAD FRIDAY OFF.
ON SATURDAY I WAS GOING TO COME IN AND DO A BIT ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," AND I TESTED
POSITIVE BUT I WAS SO SCARED BECAUSE I WENT IN, YOU KNOW, I NORMALLY
COME IN. I'VE BEEN HERE -- WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS TESTING FOR OVER
A YEAR NOW MAYBE SO I KNOW EVERYONE UP THERE, ALL OF THE NURSES AND DOCTORS
AND EVERYONE SO I'M STANDING THERE WITH THE SECURITY GUARD AND SOME
PRODUCERS FOR "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND MY ASSISTANT, AND THE NURSE COMES BACK IN.
SHE GOES, "COME WITH ME. [ LAUGHTER ] I'VE NEVER GOTTEN -- I KNOW,
I'VE NEVER GOTTEN, "COME WITH ME." "COME WITH ME.
I GO, WOW, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME I MEAN, WE TEST EVERY DAY HERE
>> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: AND I WATCH MY HANDS, I DO EVERYTHING, I WEAR A MASK
ANYWAYS, THEY PUT ME IN A, LIKE, A WAITING AREA AND IT'S LIKE A GLASS -- A
A GLASS OFFICE MAYBE >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: IT'S A TINY DESK AND
A PHONE, AND YOU'RE IN -- AND THEY SHUT ME IN THERE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THEY SAID, "SOMEONE'S GOING TO CALL YOU." [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH AND THEY LEFT AND I SAID, "OH, MAN, THIS IS BIZARRE."
THIS IS SAD. SO I TEXTED MY ASSISTANT AND SAID, "PLEASE TAKE A PHOTO OF
ME IN THIS ROOM. [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO THIS IS ME, AND THIS IS
TRUE, THIS IS REALLY ME IN THE WAITING AREA, IF YOU CAN SEE THIS
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ME THERE. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WAIT, SO WAIT. SO THIS IS -- SO THIS IS REAL
DEAL I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. THAT'S WHERE THEY PUT YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT ROOM >> Questlove: I HANG OUT THERE ALL THE TIME
>> Jimmy: NO, THAT'S THE COVID ROOM >> Questlove: I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT >> Steve: WE'VE HUNG OUT THERE BEFORE
>> Jimmy: SO THEY PUT ME IN THIS ROOM, RIGHT SO EVERY OFFICE HAS A CATCH
PHRASE FROM AN NBC SHOW, LIKE FROM "CHEERS" OR SOMETHING, OR "HERE'S JOHNNY."
I'M NOT KIDDING, THE ROOM I'M THIS IS THE "WHAT YOU TALKING 'BOUT, WILLIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] I ZOOMED IN SO YOU CAN SEE
THAT I CAN'T -- [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S WHERE I FOUND OUT -- THAT'S WHERE I FOUND OUT THAT I HAD COVID.
YEAH, THAT WAS THE ROOM. THAT WAS THE PLACE WHERE I FOUND OUT.
YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS, YOU CAN'T MAKE IT UP >> Steve: YOU WERE ONLY THERE
FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF >> Jimmy: SO I CALL MY WIFE. YOU KNOW, I GO -- YOU KNOW, WE
HAVE TO ISOLATE, AND IT'S RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS I GO, "MAN, THIS IS GOING TO BE
CRAZY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?" SO -- YOU KNOW, BUT THEY WENT
UPSTATE WITH THE GIRLS, YOU KNOW, AND I JUST KIND OF SAT THERE, JUST ISOLATED
YOU KNOW, I JUST DID WHAT, YOU KNOW -- YOU KNOW, I JUST ORDERED DELIVERY, THEY DROPPED
IT OUTSIDE THE DOOR, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER THEN I SAID, "YOU SHOULD HAVE
THE GIRLS TESTED AND YOU SHOULD TEST AGAIN," AND THEY TESTED -- MY GIRLS TESTED POSITIVE AS
WELL [ AUDIENCE AWS ] THEY'RE FINE, EVERYONE IS FINE
THEY HAD THE SNIFFLES. FRANNIE HAD SNIFFLES FOR LIKE TWO DAYS
WINNIE HAD NO SYMPTOMS AT ALL. BUT THAT MEANT I COULD GO HOME AND SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH THE
KIDS, SO I DID [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE IT WAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
BUT ANYWAYS, IT WAS -- I WANT TO JUST TELL EVERYONE, PLEASE, OUT THERE, GET VAXED IF YOU
CAN. GET VAXXED, GET BOOSTED, BECAUSE MAN, THIS THING, IT'S
A BANGER IT'S A REAL THING. IF I DIDN'T HAVE THAT, I KNOW,
IT JUST FELT LIKE I WOULD BE REAL, REAL, REAL, REAL, SICK SO I WANT TO THANK ALL OF MY
DOCTORS FOR GIVING ME THE VAX AND THE BOOSTERS AND ALL OF THE NURSES AND DOCTORS THAT ARE
WORKING SO HARD OUT THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I MEAN, YOU SAVED MY CHRISTMAS [ APPLAUSE ] IT'S INTERESTING
GUYS, BEFORE WE GO ON, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK SOME OF OUR SPONSORS FOR
TONIGHT'S SHOW THEY DON'T ALWAYS FIT IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAKS, AND WE WANT
TO MAKE SURE WE MENTION ALL OF THEM IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW
SPONSORS." HERE WE GO
* * TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS *
* >> Jimmy: STARBUCKS. WE'RE THE REASON YOU KNOW
THREE, AND ONLY THREE, WORDS IN ITALIAN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
KEYSTONE LIGHT BRING THE BEER THAT'LL STILL BE IN THE COOLER AFTER THE PARTY.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE HOME DEPOT WE'RE NOT AFFECTED BY THE LABOR
SHORTAGE BECAUSE NO ONE EVER WORKED HERE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
APPLE. WE COULD MAKE YOUR iPHONE GLASS UNBREAKABLE.
WE JUST DON'T WANT TO. [ APPLAUSE ] WAFFLE HOUSE
EVER WANTED TO EAT HASH BROWNS WHILE TWO TRUCK DRIVERS GET IN A KNIFE FIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CLAIRE'S COME HAVE A MINOR MEDICAL
PROCEDURE PERFORMED BY A A 16-YEAR-OLD. [ APPLAUSE ]
MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS. SURE, WE MIGHT GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK, BUT WE ALSO MIGHT WAKE
YOU UP FROM ONE, TOO [ APPLAUSE ] BEST BUY
YOU GUYS WOULD TELL US IF WE'RE THE NEW RADIO SHACK, RIGHT [ APPLAUSE ]
TRADER JOE'S IF YOU BUY CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS FROM SOMEONE IN A
A HAWAIIAN SHIRT, THAT MEANS THEY'RE HEALTHY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AND FINALLY, LISTERINE IF YOU SWALLOW ENOUGH, YEAH, YOU'LL GET A LITTLE BUZZ GOING
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ALL FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "SCREEN GRABS.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK IT IS TIME FOR SCREEN GRABS. HERE WE GO
* >> Jimmy: THESE ARE SOME WEIRD,
FUNNY THINGS THAT YOU GUYS FOUND ON THE INTERNET OR TOOK A PICTURE OF AND REALIZED AND
THEN SENT IN TO US THIS FIRST SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY CASEY HILTON IN
ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN. IT'S AN AD SHE SAW FOR PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE CONSIDERING A
A CAREER CHANGE. >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: YEAH
IT SAYS, "BECOME A TEACHER." UH, NO THANKS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S THE PICTURE YOU WANT TO USE? >> Steve: CHUCKY
>> Jimmy: TELL CHUCKY I SAID HELLO. [ LAUGHTER ]
NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY BEN COHEN IN NANUET, NEW YORK. HE LOST A GIFT CARD THAT HE GOT
OVER THE HOLIDAYS AND WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET A REPLACEMENT.
HERE'S THE EXPLANATION RIGHT HERE "IF YOUR CARD IS LOST OR
STOLEN, PLEASE CONTACT THE CUSTOMER CARE NUMBER ON THE BACK OF YOUR CARD.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SUPER SIMPLE >> Steve: OH, GREAT.
>> Jimmy: IT'S SO EASY ONCE YOU FIND YOUR CARD, YOU CALL THE NUMBER ON THE BACK AND
THEN, YEAH >> Steve: AND IT ONLY COSTS $25 TO REPLACE YOUR CARD
>> Jimmy: SIR, IT'S PROBABLY IN YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW. >> Steve: OH, THANKS
>> Jimmy: THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY TREVOR BISHOP IN VERO BEACH, FLORIDA.
SHE WAS BROWSING NETFLIX AND SPOTTED THIS MOVIE STARRING JASON BATEMAN.
LET'S ZOOM OUT A LITTLE BIT. HEY, NOT BAD [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I REMEMBER THAT. I REMEMBER THAT POSTER >> Steve: OH, YEAH
HE'S GOT - >> Jimmy: I REMEMBER THAT MOVIE.
THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY TOM VESS IN CROATIA. >> Steve: HEY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AWESOME HE WAS WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME
LET'S SEE WHO WAS PLAYING. IT WAS "BALTIMORE VERSUS GREEN DAY.
OH, COOL [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "WELL, WAKE ME UP
WHEN THIS GAME ENDS. >> Jimmy: THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY JAY CHANDRA IN
DRAPER, UTAH HE WAS BROWSING THE MENU OF A RESTAURANT HE WAS THINKING OF
EATING AT AND HE SPOTTED SOME PHOTOS OF DISHES THAT WERE CONSIDERED MENU HIGHLIGHTS
LET'S SEE WHAT THEY HAD. "TANDOORI CHICKEN. THAT'S GOOD.
AND "HAIR IN THE FOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] TOUGH CALL
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'M GOING WITH THE TANDOORI
CHICKEN. THIS NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY JIM CRAMER IN FURMAN,
SOUTH CAROLINA HE SPOTTED A MOVIE WITH AN INTERESTING DESCRIPTION HERE
SAYS THAT, "DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE VAMPIRE BITES WOMAN, FALLS ON
SOMETHING SHARP. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SAVE YOUR TIME
NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY LAURA CORDINGLY IN ROCHESTER, NEW YORK
SHE WAS SHOPPING FOR A HOUSE ONLINE SPOTTED THIS
SOME KIND OF A DEAL HERE LOOK AT THIS IT HAS 22 BEDROOMS AND TWO
BATHS. >> Steve: WOW. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: NOT BAD. >> Steve: OFFICIALLY >> Jimmy: NEXT WAS A SCREEN
GRAB SENT IN BY AMY O'HARA IN GAINESVILLE, GEORGIA SHE WAS SEARCHING FOR A JOB
ONLINE AND SPOTTED THIS. "YOU CAN BE A DOG GROOMER FOR DUNKIN' DONUTS."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THEY DO THAT NOW >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: THEY START WITH BREAKFAST NOW? NOW THEY'RE GETTING INTO DOG
GROOMING >> Steve: AMERICA RUNS ON DUNKIN'.
>> Jimmy: SO DO DOGS APPARENTLY THE NEXT SCREEN GRAB BY SENT IN
BY STEEN ERICKSON IN MINNEAPOLIS. HE WAS READING SOME --
[ CHEERS ] >> Steve: THERE YOU GO.]E >> Jimmy: FRIENDS OF STEEN?
[ LAUGHTER ] "UH, WE'RE HERE WITH STEEN." "COME RIGHT IN."
HE WAS READING SOME LOCAL NEWS ON HIS PHONE AND SPOTTED THIS AD
LOOK AT THIS RIGHT HERE. IT IS A NUT GRINDER MACHINE. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO IT IS THE - [ APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: CREATURE OWN NUT
BUTTER >> Jimmy: SEEMS PAINFUL. SEEMS A LITTLE PAINFUL
>> Steve: A LITTLE PAINFUL >> Jimmy: WE'RE DOWN TO OUR LAST ONE HERE.
THIS IS A PHOTO OF A CHICAGO WHITE SOX FAN THAT WAS POSTED ON TWITTER BY A SPORTS WRITER
NAMED ALAN BELL. ALAN TAGGED ME IN IT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THE FAN LOOKED LIKE ME
I DON'T KNOW IF I SEE THIS AT ALL. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] HE THOUGHT THAT LOOKS LIKE ME. >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: YEAH, ALAN, LET ME TRY SOMETHING HERE [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: OKAY YES. [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ].
>> Jimmy: LET'S GO, WHITE SOX! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR
SCREEN GRABS IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY SCREEN GRAB, E-MAIL TO US AT
SCREENGRABS@TONIGHTSHOW.COM. WE MIGHT PUT IT ON THE SHOW. STICK AROUND
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANTHONY ANDERSON, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS THE 11-TIME EMMY-NOMINATED STAR
OF THE VERY POPULAR SERIES, "BLACK-ISH." THE FINAL SEASON PREMIERES
TOMORROW NIGHT AT 9:30 ON ABC. A VERY SPECIAL GUEST IN THERE, TOO, AS WELL
PLEASE WELCOME ANTHONY ANDERSON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
>> Jimmy: ANTHONY ANDERSON IS BACK ON THE SHOW THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST
GUEST IN THE YEAR 2022 THANK YOU. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I'M HONORED. I'M HONORED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> THANK YOU THANK YOU. IT'S GOING TO BE A GOOD YEAR
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW IT. IT'S GOING TO BE -- YEAH DO YOU -- DO YOU TYPICALLY MAKE
ANY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS >> TO BE A BETTER PERSON THAN WHAT I WAS LAST YEAR
>> Jimmy: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE WITH YOU >> IT'S -- IT'S POSSIBLE
I FALL SHORT SOMETIMES OH, YEAH >> Jimmy: DO YOU REALLY?
>> I USED TO, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE "OH, I'M GOING TO EAT HEALTHIER, I'M GOING TO DO
THIS I'M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT." NO, I NEVER STUCK TO THAT
STUFF. >> Jimmy: NO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> NO. SO I FIGURED IF I JUST SAY I'LL BE A BETTER PERSON, A BETTER
FATHER, BETTER FRIEND, BETTER SON, BETTER WHATEVER, I CAN STICK TO THAT.
>> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. THAT'S AWESOME >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I DO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HAPPY TO COME BACK
I LOVE WHEN YOU'RE HERE. OBVIOUSLY, THE AUDIENCE, WE LOVE YOU TOO, BUT I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE YOU WENT TO DUBAI RECENTLY >> I DID
>> Jimmy: NOW, HOW DID YOU END UP THERE, AND WHAT'S GOING ON IN DUBAI
>> STEVE HARVEY IS A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE >> Jimmy: LOVE STEVE
>> HE HAD HIS CELEBRITY GOLF TOURNAMENT THERE, YOU KNOW, FOR HIS VARIOUS CHARITIES.
AND SO, HE INVITED US OVER, SO WE ALL WENT OVER THERE, MAN. AND IT WAS A GREAT TIME.
IT WAS -- IT WAS ME, YVONNE ORJI FROM "INSECURE." AHMAD RASHAD
>> Jimmy: YES. >> AKON. [ CHEERS ]
AND -- YEAH, RIGHT >> Jimmy: AKON PLAYS GOLF? >> AKON, YEAH.
WHAT -- WELL [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THAT.
AND -- AND I GOT AN ISSUE WITH THIS AKON HAS NEVER PLAYED GOLF
BEFORE IN HIS LIFE, RIGHT. NEVER PLAYED GOLF BEFORE IN HIS LIFE
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT WON THE TOURNAMENT. >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY MAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY MAN.
>> NO, NO, NO. ALL RIGHT, SO HE CAME -- HIS TEAM CAME IN FIRST
STEVE HARVEY'S TEAM CAME IN SECOND MY TEAM DIDN'T EVEN PLACE AT
ALL. BUT THIS IS IT AKON WAS PLAYING AHEAD OF ME
AND STEVE AND HIS TEAM WERE PLAYING BEHIND ME. SO I GOT TO SEE HOW HORRIBLE
BOTH THESE TEAMS WERE. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THEY BOTH -
ONE TOOK FIRST PLACE AND ONE TOOK SECOND -- THIRD PLACE [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I DIDN'T PLACE AT ALL. >> Jimmy: IT'S RIGGED. >> YEAH, VERY MUCH SO.
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT WAS RIGGED, BUT IT WAS RIGGED. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS DUBAI LIKE I'VE SEEN PICTURES, WHAT IS DUBAI?
>> DUBAI IS UNLIKE ANY OTHER CITY THAT I'VE BEEN IN, MAN. THEY SAY IT'S THE CITY OF THE
FUTURE WHEN I WAS THERE A FEW WEEKS AGO, IT WAS -- THEY'RE HAVING
THE WORLD EXPO THERE, WHICH IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S BEEN HELD IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY, WHICH WAS
BEAUTIFUL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S STILL GOING ON.
AND IT WAS ALSO WORLD DAY. IT WAS THEIR BIRTHDAY. DUBAI'S ONLY 50.
I'M 51 I'M OLDER THAN DUBAI >> Jimmy: WOW.
THAT'S INTERESTING >> I'M OLDER THAN DUBAI. >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S
INTERESTING. >> I'M OLDER THAN DUBAI. >> Jimmy: BUT YOU'RE BACK IN
NEW YORK FOR A LITTLE BIT? >> I'M BACK IN NEW YORK FOR A LITTLE BIT
A LOT OF BIT >> Jimmy: I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS
>> SO AM I, MAN. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE DOING "LAW AND ORDER" AGAIN
>> I'M BACK TO "LAW AND ORDER. DETECTIVE KEVIN BERNARD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: COME ON, BUD >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: DUDE, THIS IS BIG.
>> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO COME BACK?
>> IT FEELS GREAT, MAN I'M BACK IN A WELL-WORN SADDLE THAT JUST GRIPS YOUR ASS
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO THAT'S EXACTLY THE WAY TO PUT IT
YEAH >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: IT'S FUN TO HAVE YOU
BACK ON NBC. THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN, BUD >> YEAH, GOOD TO BE BACK
>> Jimmy: AND NEW YORK >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WE GOT TO HANG OUT,
FIGURE OUT SOMETHING HOW IS MOM DOING FIRST AND FOREMOST, BECAUSE YOU
KNOW I LOVE YOUR MOTHER. >> MOM -- MOM IS DOING GREAT >> Jimmy: DORIS.
>> YEAH, MAMA DORIS IS DOING GREAT. SHE'S SINGLE NOW, THANKS TO OUR
LAST APPEARANCE ON YOUR SHOW [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO
>> YEAH -- >> Jimmy: NO, BECAUSE OF THAT? >> THOSE WHO REMEMBER, IT DON'T
WORK >> Jimmy: NO, HE DIDN'T LIKE IT
>> HE DIDN'T HE NEVER CALLED MY MAMA AFTER THAT NIGHT
[ LAUGHTER ] HEY, MAN, WHY YOU LAUGHING [ LAUGHTER ]
HE NEVER CALLED -- MY MOM WAS SO EXCITED SHE WAS LIKE, "BABY, BABY.
LOOK, ME AND ANTHONY HAD FUN WITH YOUR -- AT YOUR EXPENSE ON FALLON TONIGHT, BUT WATCH THE
SHOW." TO THIS DAY HE HASN'T CALLED MY MAMA BACK, FALLON.
SO THIS WHAT YOU GOT TO DO WHEN I BRING MY MAMA TO NEW YORK, WE GOT TO SET MY MAMA
UP ON A NEW DATE >> Jimmy: OH, OF COURSE. DORIS, EASY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> ALL RIGHT YOU HEAR THAT, MAMA?
>> Jimmy: EASY-PEASY AND DORIS, WE DON'T NEED HIM ANYWAY
BECAUSE IT DIDN'T WORK >> STOP, MAN STOP
BUT IT DON'T WORK! [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I HEARD YOUR MOM IS
DOING -- I HEARD YOUR MOM IS DOING SOMETHING WITH EDDIE MURPHY.
>> SHE IS MAN. SHE -- WE BOTH ARE, BUT MY MOM IS IN EDDIE MURPHY'S NEW MOVIE
WITH JONAH HILL AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY ALWAYS, "DOES YOUR MOM GET STAR
STRUCK?" I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, AND NO, SHE PLAYS IT COOL.
SHE WAS IN A SCENE WITH EDDIE AND ONE OF THE ADs SAYS, "I THINK WE HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN."
AND OUT OF NOWHERE, MY MOM SAID, "[ BLEEP ] I HOPE WE DON'T.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND EDDIE MURPHY TURNED TO HIM AND WAS LIKE, "WAS THAT
ANTHONY ANDERSON'S MAMA? HE WAS LIKE, "YEAH." HE WAS LIKE, "YEAH."
HE SAID, "MAN, SHE IS FUNNY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT.
HEY, MOM, WE'RE SETTING YOU UP WHEN YOU COME BACK TO NEW YORK I WANT TO --
>> HOPEFULLY WITH SOMEBODY WHO WORKS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH WHEN WE COME BACK, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE FINAL SEASON OF
"BLACK-ISH" AND ALSO ABOUT HAVING MICHELLE OBAMA ON YOUR SHOW
MORE WITH ANTHONY ANDERSON WHEN WE COME BACK COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. WE ARE HANGING WITH OUR PAL, ANTHONY ANDERSON, RIGHT HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE LOVE YOU. STARS ON THE EIGHTH AND FINAL
SEASON OF "BLACK-ISH." YOU ARE PULLING OUT ALL OF THE STOPS FOR THE FINAL SEASON
>> YEAH, WE GOT TO, MAN. WE GOT TO GO OUT WITH A BANG >> Jimmy: I MEAN
MICHELLE OBAMA >> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: HOW COULD YOU GET --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HOW DID YOU GET HOOKED UP WITH THAT
>> WELL, THEY WERE FANS OF THE SHOW THE OBAMAS WERE FANS OF THE
SHOW, AND I FOUND THIS OUT THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO THE WHITE HOUSE WHEN THEY WERE IN OFFICE
AND IT WAS JUST LIKE A "KEY AND PEELE" SKETCH, MAN YOU KNOW, THEY WERE TALKING --
YOU KNOW, OBAMA SEES A BROTHER AND JUST DAPS HIM UP AND ALL OF THAT
I WAS AT THE END OF THE LINE, BECAUSE I WANTED TO, YOU KNOW, SPEND SOME TIME WITH HIM AND
ALL THAT YOU SAW HIM OVER THERE "HELLO, MR. WHITE GUY.
"YES HELLO, MR. WHITE GUY." AND HE SEES ME
AND YOU KNOW, HE HAS A PLACE THAT HE STANDS HE LEFT THE PLACE THAT HE WAS
STANDING HE WAS LIKE, "YO, ANTH, WHAT'S UP, MAN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TOOK ME TO MICHELLE. HE LEFT HIS POST AND TOOK ME TO
MICHELLE AND WAS LIKE, "MICHELLE, LOOK WHO'S HERE ANTH FROM 'BLACK-ISH.'
TELL HIM HOW MUCH WE LOVE THE SHOW." AND THEY WENT ON FOR ABOUT A
A GOOD THREE MINUTES ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THE SHOW, THE FAMILY WATCHES IT.
IT'S APPOINTMENT TELEVISION. NOW MIND YOU, MY ENCOUNTER WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT 10 OR
15 SECONDS >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. >> AT THAT TIME.
>> IT LASTED ABOUT A GOOD THREE MINUTES, MAN >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> FROM THEN ON, WE JUST HAD A A GREAT RELATIONSHIP, AND
TRACEE ELLIS ROSS MADE THE CALL FOR THE FINAL SEASON TO FIRST LADY OBAMA AND SAID, YOU KNOW,
"WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW DO YOU THINK YOU COULD DO
THIS?" AND SHE AGREED >> Jimmy: BIG FINAL SEASON
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BIG FINAL SEASON >> YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THAT'S HOW WE START IT >> Jimmy: NOW YOU -- THIS IS
VERY SUCCESSFUL SHOW IT'S THE END OF THIS AWESOME RUN.
DO YOU GET EMOTIONAL DOES IT GET SAD? >> IT DID.
IT WAS BITTERSWEET YOU KNOW, I WASN'T AS EMOTIONAL AS I THOUGHT I WOULD BE AT THE
FINAL EPISODE, THE FINAL DAY OF THE FINAL EPISODE BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE KNEW GOING INTO IT
THAT THIS DAY WAS COMING WHAT AFFECTED ME MOST WAS I WENT BACK A WEEK AND A HALF AGO
TO DO MY FINAL VOICEOVER FOR THE FINAL EPISODE, AND AS I WAS DRIVING PAST OUR SOUND STAGE TO
GET TO THE ADR BOOTH, THE ELEPHANT DOORS TO OUR SOUND STAGE WAS OPEN, AND IT WAS
EMPTY ON THE INSIDE. AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME, YOU KNOW, I WAS HIT WITH THE FLOOD
OF EMOTIONS THAT I THOUGHT I WASN'T GOING TO HAVE ABOUT THAT
AND SO AFTER MY ADR SESSION, I WENT IN THERE, MADE A LITTLE VIDEO, AND IT WAS SAD.
I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW JUST REMEMBERING THAT MOMENT IT WAS -- IT WAS SAD TO SEE
EVERYTHING OUT OF THAT SOUND STAGE. >> Jimmy: IT'S ALL GONE.
>> YOU KNOW, THAT WAS MY HOME FOR EIGHT YEARS. >> Jimmy: MADE ALL OF THOSE
MEMORIES >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
WELL, WE APPRECIATE WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT, BUD >> YEAH.
THANK YOU, BROTHER >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE REALLY DO YEAH
>> THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WE REALLY DO
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S ANTHONY ANDERSON AND TRACEE ELLIS ROSS IN TOMORROW
NIGHT'S EPISODE OF "BLACK-ISH. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
LIKE SPECIAL SPECIAL >> THEY MIGHT NOT WANT TO CARE ABOUT WHO WE MET TONIGHT
IT WAS MICHELLE OBAMA. >> MICHELLE OBAMA. >> ARE YOU SURE IT WAS REALLY
HER? YOU'RE BEEN FOOLED BY BARACK OBAMA IMPERSONATORS
BEFORE >> OKAY, HE WAS PRETENDING NOT TO BE HIMSELF SO HE WOULDN'T
DRAW A CROWD, FOOL >> AND WE KNOW IT WAS HER, BECAUSE WE CONNECTED LIKE WE'VE
KNOW EACH OTHER FOREVER AND WE HAD A CONVERSATION THAT WAS ABOUT BEING PARENTS.
>> MM-HMM. >> PROFESSIONALS >> YES
>> AND HONESTLY, IT WAS -- WHAT'S THE WORD? >> OH.
>> Both: MAGICAL >> Jimmy: YEAH ANTHONY ANDERSON, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DO NOT MISS THE FINAL SEASON OF "BLACK-ISH", TUESDAYS AT
9:30 P.M. ON ABC WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY ACTOR AND COMEDIAN
WHO YOU CAN SEE IN "THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES" WHICH RETURNS THIS SUNDAY AT
10:00 P.M. ON HBO AND HBO MAX EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME
ADAM DEVINE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ADAM, ARE YOU THERE?
* THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. ADAM, YOU'RE GETTING A STANDING
OVATION HERE, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ON ZOOM >> YEP
>> Jimmy: YOU LOVE - >> COME ON GIVE ME AS MUCH AS YOU GAVE
ANTHONY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE
UNBELIEVABLE [ LAUGHTER ] OH, MY GOD
OH, YOU ARE THE BEST, BUDDY. I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THE
SHOW I APPRECIATE IT. >> YEAH, YEAH.
THANKS, MAN. THANKS FOR HAVING ME I ALSO GOT THE OMICRON, SO -
>> Jimmy: DID YOU REALLY >> THAT'S WHY I'M HERE, OR ELSE I WOULD BE IN STUDIO WITH YOU.
>> Jimmy: WOW. HOW ARE YOU FEELING WITH THE OMICRON?
>> I FEEL -- STRONGER. [ LAUGHTER ] IT GAVE ME THE ADVERSE EFFECTS
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> I DON'T KNOW -- NO. I'M GOING TO GET A CALL
FROM FAUCI I CAN'T BE SPREADING THAT INFORMATION.
IT WAS THE SAME THING, I WAS SICK FOR THREE DAYS. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> BUT I'M BACK NOW, BABY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I'M HAPPY YOUR BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU LOOK GOOD. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS I WANTED TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS
TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU RECENTLY GOT MARRIED. THAT'S A BIG DEAL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OH, THIS LITTLE THING *
>> Jimmy: OH, LOOK AT THAT LOOK AT THE RING HOW DID YOU AND YOUR WIFE MEET
>> IT'S A REAL MEET MEET CUTE, JIMMY. WE ACTUALLY MET ON A PLANE
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> OOH, YEAH WE WERE SHOOTING THE SAME
MOVIE, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT WHO DOESN'T READ E-MAILS
I JUST, LIKE, THEY JUST PUSHED ME ONTO AN AIRPLANE. AND I'M LIKE, "WHERE AM I
GOING? THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU'RE SHOOTING A MOVIE.
I'M LIKE, "OKAY. BUT CHLOE IS A SMART PERSON WHO READS E-MAILS, AND SHE KNEW WHO
I WAS. AND SO, SHE'S LIKE TRYING TO CHAT ME UP
AND MEANWHILE, I JUST THINK, THIS BABE IS HITTING ON ME AND I WAS LIKE A LITTLE
OVERWHELMED. I HAD A GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME I'M LIKE, I DON'T WANT ANY OF
THIS I DON'T KNOW I GET IT
I'M CHARMING [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> AND THEN WE LAND, AND I REALIZE WE HAD THE SAME DRIVER TO TAKE US FROM NEW ORLEANS TO
BATON ROUGE. AND I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU'RE IN THE MOVIE.
SHE'S LIKE, "YEAH, WHAT DID YOU THINK? I'M LIKE, "NO, NO, I KNEW, I
KNEW YOU WERE. AND WE'RE DRIVING AND SHE GOES, "SHOULD WE GET SOME
DRIVE-THROUGH DAIQUIRIS? WHICH IS A THING YOU CAN DO IN NEW ORLEANS.
THERE'S A DRIVE-THROUGH DAIQUIRI PLACE I KNOW, IT'S GREAT
[ CHEERS ] AND SHE'S -- I'M LIKE, "WELL, WHAT SIZE?
I DIDN'T WANT TO, LIKE, GET TOO BIG OF A SIZE AND, YOU KNOW, BE LIKE, "OH, IS THIS GUY A
A DRUNK? SO, BUT SHE ORDERED FIRST, AND SHE'S LIKE, "I'LL TAKE THE
48 OUNCE PARTY STARTER." AND I WAS LIKE - >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE, "WILL
YOU MARRY ME?" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WILL YOU MARRY ME
>> Jimmy: WILL YOU MARRY ME? WHO ARE YOU? THE UNICORN.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THE TIME IS NOW. >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO A -- YOU ARE DOING A "PITCH PERFECT"
SERIES I KNOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE LOVE THE MOVIE. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BASED AROUND YOUR
CHARACTER, WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT IT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT FILMING IT
YET, BUT IS IT HAPPENING SOON? WHAT CAN YOU SAY IT -- ESSENTIALLY IT TAKES
PLACE AROUND MY CHARACTER AFTER THE SECOND MOVIE, AND BUMPER GOES ON "THE VOICE."
AND YOU THINK HIS CAREER IS GOING TO SKYROCKET BUT HE RELEASES AN ALBUM, AND
IT TOTALLY TANKS HERE IN AMERICA. AND HE RUNS INTO SOME GERMAN
TOURISTS AND THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE HUGE IN GERMANY LIKE, YOU HAVE A SONG THAT'S A
A HIT. SO THEN BUMPER PACKS UP HIS STUFF AND GOES TO GERMANY TO
TRY TO MAKE IT AS A POP SENSATION. >> Jimmy: THAT'S FANTASTIC
>> WHICH IS -- >> Jimmy: I WILL LOVE THAT >> -- WHEN YOU'RE NEARING 40 IS
WHEN -- IS WHEN YOUR POP STARDOM REALLY STARTS TO PEAK, I FEEL
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH LET'S TALK ABOUT "RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES.
VERY FUNNY SEASON TWO PREMIERES THIS SUNDAY AT 10:00 P.M. ON HBO AND
HBO MAX. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DUDE, IT'S SO FUNNY.
EVERYONE'S SO GOOD IN THIS BUT YOU GET TO REALLY GO OFF AND PLAY -
KELVIN IS YOUR CHARACTER >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> Jimmy: SOME OF YOUR OUTFITS,
I JUST CHOSE SOME OF THEM JUST TO SHOW WHAT YOUR CHARACTER DRESSES LIKE
THIS IS A PAST SEASON. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S FASHIONABLE
>> YEAH, HE'S PRETTY CHILL >> Jimmy: YEAH, I WOULD SAY CHILL, YEAH.
>> I FEEL LIKE I REALIZE THAT I JUST RECENTLY LEARNED THE WORD CHEUGY
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD CHEUGY MEANS >> Jimmy: YES, CHEUGY?
>> YEAH. I'M CHEUGY >> Jimmy: YES, OH, MY GOSH
KELVIN IS CHEUGY >> ALL OF KELVIN'S OUTFITS ARE CHEUGY, WHICH IS LIKE YOU'RE
TRYING TOO HARD OR YOU'RE LIKE - YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT MAYBE
WAS COOL IN THE PAST AND NOW LONGER, ISN'T COOL AT ALL. THAT'S WHAT I AM
BOTH AS A PERSON AND AS AN ACTOR. >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, YOUR
CHARACTER IS CHEUGY. WELL, WE LOVE YOU, BUDDY YOU'RE ALWAYS SO FUN
THANK YOU SO MUCH. AND HOPEFULLY NEXT TIME IN PERSON, OKAY
>> ABSOLUTELY. GOOD TO SEE YOU, GUYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: BEST TO YOUR WIFE. >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW
EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S ADAM DEVINE IN "THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
*
>> LET'S NOT FILL UP ON ROLLS HERE STICK TO THE SALAD BAR
DON'T FORGET, WE ARE SWIMMING LAPS AFTER LUNCH, SO EAT LIGHT WE NOURISH OUR BODIES FOR HIS
LOVE COOL SO COOL.
>> EXCUSE ME, SIR. >> WHAT'S UP >> DISMISSED
>> WILL YOU BE DINING WITH THE MEN AND I? >> OF COURSE NOT, KEITH.
I'LL BE ABOVE YOU UPSTAIRS WITH THE FAMILY >> SHALL I JOIN YOU?
>> OH, NOT APPROPRIATE UPSTAIRS CHURCH LUNCH IS ONLY FOR THE FAMILY
>> SEE YOU UPSTAIRS, KELVIN. >> AND DADDY'S CLOSEST WORK ACQUAINTANCES.
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ADAM DEVINE, EVERYBODY
SEASON TWO OF "THE RIGHTEOUS GEMSTONES" PREMIERES THIS SUNDAY AT 10:00 P.M. ON HBO AND
HBO MAX. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM
CARLY PEARCE STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE REIGNING CMA FEMALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR
[ CHEERS ] PERFORMING "DIAMONDBACK" FROM HER ALBUM "29: WRITTEN IN
STONE," PLEASE WELCOME CARLY PEARCE
* * NEVER BEEN ALL THAT WRAPPED UP
IN SHINY SWIMMING POOLS * * THOSE MATERIAL KIND LIES THEY TELL
LIFE LOOKS OH SO WEL FROM THE OUTSIDE IN * * HONEYMOONS DON'T EN
NO WHAT I THOUGHT I WANTED LET ME DOW BUT I DON'T WANT IT NOW *
* KEEP THE HOUS KEEP THE TRUCK GO DOWNTOW
GET TOO DRUNK * * KISS A ONE NIGHT STAN WITH A BUTTERFLY ON HER BACK
TAKE THE BED WHERE YOU USED TO LIE * * KEEP THE FRIEND
I NEVER LIKE AND THE HAPPY EVER AFTER WELCOME MAT *
* BUT YOU AIN'T GONNA GET THIS DIAMOND BAC NO NEVER EVER GETTIN
THIS DIAMOND BACK * * YOU CAN KEEP THE DO AND THE CADILLAC
BUT YOU AIN'T GONN GET THIS DIAMOND BACK * *
[ CHEERS ] * WELL I GUESS I'LL JUS BURN THAT DRES
ALL THOSE FAIRY TALE CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL * * DON'T NEED YOU NO MOR
WITH THIS 24 CARAT THAT I'M WEARIN' * * NO I DON'T CARE IF YO
KEEP THE HOUSE KEEP THE TRUCK GO DOWNTOWN GET TOO DRUNK *
* KISS A ONE NIGHT STAN WITH A BUTTERFLY ON HER BACK TAKE THE BED
WHERE YOU USED TO LIE * * KEEP THE FRIEND I NEVER LIKE
AND THE HAPPY EVER AFTER WELCOME MAT * * BUT YOU AIN'T GONNA
GET THIS DIAMOND BAC NO NEVER EVER GETTIN THIS DIAMOND BACK *
* YOU CAN KEEP THE DO AND THE CADILLAC BUT YOU AIN'T GONN
GET THIS DIAMOND BACK * * * OH WHAT I THOUGHT I WANTE
LET ME DOW BUT WHO'S LAUGHING NOW * * KEEP THE HOUS
KEEP THE TRUCK GO DOWNTOW GET TOO DRUNK *
* KISS A ONE NIGHT STAN WITH A BUTTERFLY ON HER BACK TAKE THE BED
WHERE YOU USED TO LIE * * KEEP THE FRIEND I NEVER LIKE
AND THE HAPPY EVER AFTER WELCOME MAT * * YOU AIN'T GONNA
GET THIS DIAMOND BAC NO NEVER EVER GETTIN THIS DIAMOND BACK *
* IT'S IN A PAWN SHOP NEXT TO THE LAUNDROMAT YOU AIN'T GONNA GE
THIS DIAMOND BACK * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: COME ON! COME ON! THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT
THERE. THEY CAN'T EVEN STAND UP TALLER
CARLY PEARCE "29: WRITTEN IN STONE" IS OUT NOW.
MY THANKS TO ANTHONY ANDERSON, ADAM DEVINE. CARLY PEARCE ONCE AGAIN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT WAS FANTASTIC AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY BYE-BYE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *