>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - SETH ROGEN
COLSON BAKER AKA MACHINE GUN KELLY, MUSICAL GUEST MACKLEMORE
FEATURING WINDSER, AND THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1562
>> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW,"
EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE HERE.
YOU MADE IT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, GUYS TONIGHT WAS THE 89th
ANNUAL ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING. YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU CAN SEE IN ROCKEFELLER
PLAZA BESIDES ICE SKATERS FALLING DOWN IT REALLY IS
I THINK SO [ LAUGHTER ] HAVING A GIANT TREE OUTSIDE
A GREAT THOUGH IT'S IS THAT SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR WHEN ROCKEFELLER CENTER
SMELLS LIKE THE INSIDE OF AN UBER DON'T YOU THINK?
[ LAUGHTER ] THE TREE REALLY IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD THOUGH.
IT'S DECORATED WITH MORE THAN 50,000 LIGHTS. YEAH
THEN ONE GUY PLUGGED IN A TESLA AND THE WHOLE CITY BLACKED OUT >> Steve: OH
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "GOT TO CHARGE IT UP, DUDE!"
[ LAUGHTER ] IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH THE TREE IS TOPPED WITH A STAR COVERED
IN 3 MILLION CRYSTALS. AND ONE CONSTRUCTION WORKER THEY FORGOT TO BRING DOWN.
"HELP! HEY! [ LAUGHTER ]
YUP, THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WERE IN ATTENDANCE. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, EVEN THE
TREE WAS LIKE, "UM, CAN EVERYONE JUST THROW ON A MASK, AND TAKE LIKE SIX STEPS BACK,
PLEASE?" [ LAUGHTER ] YUP, PEOPLE WAITING OUTSIDE FOR
THE TREE LIGHTING ALL DAY. AFTER A FEW HOURS, ONE GUY WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH
IS MY PEE BOTTLE AND WHICH IS MY HOT CIDER BOTTLE. [ AUDIENCE OOHS
"IT'S HAPPENS -- IT'S HAPPENS EVERYBODY YEAR!" [ LAUGHTER ]
"I GOT TO GET A LABEL MAKER NEXT YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ]
"I GOT TO CHARGE MY TESLA. MEANWHILE, EARLIER IN THE WHITE HOUSE ON THE FOURTH NIGHT OF
HANUKKAH PRESIDENT BIDEN HOSTED A MENORAH LIGHTING NOTHING SAYS YOU REALLY CARE
ABOUT A HOLIDAY LIKE WAITING UNTIL THE FOURTH NIGHT TO CELEBRATE IT
THAT'S WHAT I -- [ LAUGHTER ] THERE WAS A FUN MOMENT TONIGHT
WHEN BIDEN LOOKED AT THE MENORAH AND SAID, "WHEN I WAS A KID WE CALLED THIS A
A FLASHLIGHT." [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE NEWS, AN FDA PANEL
JUST VOTED 13-10 NARROWLY ENDORSED MERCK'S ANTI-VIRAL COVID PILL
YEAH WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICATION, I'M NOT SURE "NARROWLY
ENDORSED" IS THE PHRASE YOU WANT TO HEAR [ LAUGHTER ]
THE DRUG THEY SAY IS ONLY 30% EFFECTIVE. [ LAUGHTER ]
FOR CONTEXT, THAT'S ONLY 30% MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A CALZONE. [ LAUGHTER ]
JUST PUTTING IT IN CONTEXT SOME POLITICAL NEWS. DR. OZ OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED
THAT HE IS RUNNING FOR U.S. SENATE IN PENNSYLVANIA YEAH
HE'S DIVING RIGHT IN AND HE'S EVEN TESTING OUT SOME CAMPAIGN SLOGANS TO SEE WHAT
PEOPLE RESPOND TO. >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YUP, CHECK SOME OF
THESE OUT. FIRST UP, THERE'S "DR. OZ, MAKE AMERICA TURN THIS HEAD AND
COUGH AGAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT, THERE'S "DR. OZ, STICK
AROUND AFTER THE BREAK I'M TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SNEEZE."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WHAT [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE'S ALSO TRYING OUT, "DR. OZ, JUST CALL ME DR. PHILLY
WAIT THAT IT DOESN'T WORK." [ LAUGHTER ]
UP NEXT, THERE'S, "DR. OZ, I KNOW OPRAH." [ LAUGHTER ]
FOLLOWED BY, "DR. OZ, NO, REALLY I KNOW HER."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, "DR. OZ, I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T REALLY SPOKEN
RECENTLY, BUT SHE GIVE MY TEXT THUMBS UP SOMETIMES. [ APPLAUSE ]
AH, HEY DID YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS CNN HAS SUSPENDED CHRIS CUOMO
INDEFINITELY FOR HIS ROLE IN ADVISING HIS BROTHER ANDREW CUOMO DURING HIS RECENT
SCANDAL. [ AUDIENCE OOHS YEAH
CHRIS CUOMO KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN CNN ADDED A SUSPENSION COUNTDOWN CLOCK.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, YOU COULD TELL CUOMO REALY MISSES CNN
TODAY HE WALKED UP TO A PAIR OF STRANGERS AND ASK IF HE COULD STAND BETWEEN THEM WHILE THEY
YELL AT EACH OTHER [ LAUGHTER ] WELL THIS IS ALWAYS FUN.
TODAY, SPOTIFY RELEASED THEIR 2021 WRAPPED PLAYLIST. AND EVERYONE'S BEEN SHARING
THEM ONLINE TO SHOW THEIR MOST LISTENED TO SONGS AND ARTISTS OF THE YEAR.
DID YOU GUYS GET YOURS YEAH [ CHEERS ]
MY MOST PLAYED SONG OF THE YEAR WAS "GOOD 4 U" BY OLIVIA RODRIGO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOVE THAT. QUEST, HOW ABOUT YOU
>> Questlove: YEAH, I'D LISTEN TO "A LOVE SUPREME" BY JOHN COLTRANE.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH "LOVE SUPREME. QuestLove: YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NICE. YEAH, HIGGINS, HOW ABOUT YOU, BUD?
>> Steve: MINE'S RIGHT HERE. HERE YOU GO. * I HAVE
STRUCTURED SETTLEMEN AND I NEED CASH NO CALL JG WENTWORTH *
* 877-CASH-NOW * >> Jimmy: THAT WAS YOUR MOST PLAYED SONG OF THE YEAR?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: YEAH, I LOVE IT CAPTURES THE FEELING OF
STRUCTURED SETTLEMENTS BUT ALSO NEEDING CASH NOW [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, SPEAKING OF FEELINGS, MY MOST PLAYED ARTIST OF THE YEAR
WAS TAYLOR SWIFT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE QUEST, HOW ABOUT YOU
>> Questlove: STEVIE WONDER. >> Jimmy: YEAH, STEVIE WONDER. [ CHEERS ]
NICE NICE HIGGINS, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHO WAS YOUR NUMBER ONE ARTIST >> Steve: OH, THE OPERA SQUAD. >> Jimmy: THE OPERA -- OPERA
SQUAD? I DON'T THINK I KNOW THE OPERA SQUAD.
>> Steve: OH YEAH. SURE THEY DID THIS SONG
* I HAVE STRUCTURED SETTLEMEN AND I NEED CASH NO
CALL JG WENTWORTH * >> Jimmy: STOP, STOP PLEASE, STOP THAT.
COULD YOU STOP IT. HIGGNS, THAT'S A JINGLE. THAT'S NOT A SONG.
>> Questlove: YEAH, MAN. IT'S KIND OF TERRIBLE. >> Steve: COME ON, GUYS.
* I KNOW MY TASTE IN MUSIC MAY BE A LITTLE STRANGE, A LITTLE ODD,
YOU MIGHT CALL IT. BUT IT'S BEEN A HARD YEAR. IT'S BEEN A HARD YEAR ON ALL OF
US SO MAYBE BEFORE YOU JUDGE MAYBE TAKE A MINUTE TO THINK ABOUT
SOME OF THE LYRICS THAT REALLY PUT THIS THING IN PERSPECTIVE. [ LAUGHTER ]
"I HAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEED CASH NOW. CALL JG WENTWORTH
877-CASH-NOW." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW.
YOU'RE RIGHT HEY, WHAT IS YOUR STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT FOR
>> Steve: APPARENTLY I GOT DRUNK AT A ROCKETTES CHRISTMAS SHOW AND A CAMEL STEPPED ON MY
HEAD [ LAUGHTER ] HURT PRETTY BAD.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? >> Steve: HURT PRETTY BAD. >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU
GOT DRUNK? >> Steve: WELL, DRUNK, MEANING LIKE I HAD SIX OR SEVEN VODKAS
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: STEVE HIGGINS, EVERYBODY.
CONGRATULATIONS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * I NEED A STRUCTURED
SETTLEMENT * * * JG WENTWORTH *
>> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS -- OH, MY GOSH THIS IS EXCITING, ACTUALLY
GET THIS WALMART -- LOVE WALMART. WALMART IS SELLING A BAKING KIT
WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO MAKE A FAMILY-SIZED TWINKIE. [ CHEERS ]
MOVE OVER PFIZER AND MODERNA WE GOT A NEW FAVORITE FOR THE NOBEL PRIZE RIGHT HERE
FAMILY-SIZE TWINKIE! [ APPLAUSE ] SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS THIS KIT
WHEN WE WERE ALL BUYING SOURDOUGH STARTERS I MEAN, COME ON.
THE GREAT THING ABOUT TWINKIES IS THAT YOU CAN SERVE IT AS A CHRISTMAS DESSERT THIS YEAR.
AND IF YOU DON'T FINISH IT, IT WILL BE FRESH FOR NEXT YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, I SAW THAT CARDI B IS LAUNCHING HER OWN LINE OF VODKA-INFUSED WHIPPED CREAM.
[ AUDIENCE OOHS THANK GOD. SOMETHING TO HELP ME FORGET I
JUST SPRAYED AN ENTIRE CAN OF WHIPPED CREAM IN MY MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: HIGGINS YOU CAN BRING IT -
>> Steve: I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT TO THE NATIVITY SCENE
[ LAUGHTER ] OH MY GOD, CARDI >> Jimmy: YEAH
LUCKILY, IT'S NON-DAIRY FOR ALL THE HEALTH CONSCIOUS VODKA INFUSED WHIPPED CREAM EATERS
OUT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THIS IS GREAT.
YOU SQUIRT A LITTLE IS INSIDE A FAMILY-SIZE TWINKIE, NOW THAT'S A PARTY
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
>> Jimmy: WHAT A FUN SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT STARS AS SANTA CLAUS IN THE NEW
ANIMATED COMEDY SERIES "SANTA INC." WHICH BEGINS STREAMING TOMORROW ON HBO MAX.
SETH ROGEN IS JOINING US [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE SETH.
PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE NEW MOVIE "THE LAST SON" IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 10th.
COLSON BAKER, AKA MACHINE GUN KELLY IS HERE TONIGHT!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE TALKING WITH HIM. AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM
MACKLEMORE FEATURING WINDSER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GREAT SHOW
GUYS IT IS TIME FOR OUR "TONIGHT SHOW" HASH TAGS HERE WE GO
* HASH TAGS * HASHTAGS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NOW WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT
A HASHTAG AND ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. SO SINCE IT'S THE HOLIDAYS,
PEOPLE WILL BE TRAVELING I SENT OUT THE HASHTAG TRAVEL FAIL
AND I ASKED YOU GUYS TO SHARE SOME OF YOUR FUNNIEST OR WEIRDEST STORIES FROM TRIPS
THAT YOU'VE BEEN ON. WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC
SO THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE
SOME OF MY FAVORITES THESE ARE TRAVEL FAIL RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS.
THIS FIRST ONE'S FROM @BAKEROSS1988. HE SAYS, "RENTAL CAR COULDN'T
CONNECT OUR PHONES' BLUETOOTH AND WOULDN'T STOP TRYING WE SPENT THE ENTIRE ROAD TRIP
WITH A NICE ROBOT LADY SAYING, 'I'M SORRY, I CAN'T FIND YOU, EVERY TEN MINUTES.'"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "ONLY SEVEN MORE HOURS, KIDS WE'LL BE -
"I'M SORRY I CAN'T FIND YOU." THIS ONE'S FROM @MOVIENERD15
HE SAYS, "WE HIT TURBULENCE AND A VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY FELL OUT OF THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT AND
STARTED ROLLING DOWN THE CABIN PEOPLE THOUGHT HE WAS A CHILD IN A SUIT AND BOW TIE AND
STARTED SCREAMING. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "WHERE'S MY VEN DOLL
DEREK! [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HELP ME!
>> Steve: HELP ME. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM
@TEESA1980 SHE SAYS, "MY FIRST TIME FLYING I MET THE PILOT.
AS I WAS BOARDING, I TOLD HIM I WAS SCARED HE MADE ANNOUNCEMENT
'WE HAVE NEW FLYER ONBOARD TODAY. DON'T WORRY.
IT'S MY FIRST TIME, TOO.'" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE'S FROM @MARISAROSIE22
SHE SAYS, "OUR LUGGAGE WAS FALLING OFF THE ROOF OF OUR CAR.
SO EVERYONE HONKING TO LET US KNOW MY STEPDAD DIDN'T KNOW WHY THEY
WERE HONKING SO HE FLIPPED THEM ALL OFF." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: HOW DARE YOU [ LAUGHTER ] HONKING.
>> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @HAATS528, BUT IT'S AN EXTRA A A IN HAT HAATS
>> Jimmy: HAATS. >> Steve: HAATS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SHE SAYS, "WE WERE FIRST IN LINE FOR A FLIGHT OUT OF VEGAS WHEN THESE OLDER GUYS
WITH HAWAIIAN SHIRTS WERE ALLOWED TO CUT IN FRONT OF US. MY FRIEND LEANED OVER AND SAID,
'WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? THE BEACH BOYS AND THAT'S HOW I MET THE REAL
BEACH BOYS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE *
>> QuestLove: AH >> Jimmy: THE WHOLE STORY IN ONE TWEET RIGHT THERE.
>> Steve: THAT'S MITCH MILLER. >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @EDDIELOVESTOAST
>> Steve: OH HE DOES [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "WAS
LISTENING TO A TRUE CRIME PODCAST ON A TRAIN RIDE. WHEN I GOT TO MY STOP, I
REALIZED MY HEADPHONES HADN'T BEEN PLUGGED IN. I'VE BEEN PLAYING OUT OF MY
PHONE THE ENTIRE TIME. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: AND THEN IT WAS
MURDER." >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @PDB435.
HE SAYS, "FOR SEVERAL MILES OF A ROAD TRIP, MY FRIENDS AND I WERE BEHIND A MINIVAN THAT HAD
A TV IN IT PLAYING "FAST AND THE FURIOUS. WE GOT SO INTO WATCHING IT THAT
I ACCIDENTALLY REAR-ENDED THEM [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: LIVE ACTION MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: "THIS MOVIE IS SO REALISTIC. >> Steve: "YOU'RE LIKE FAMILY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AH, THIS LAST -- THIS LAST ONE'S FROM @MAMAMARSHALL2
>> Steve: MA, MA, MA MARSHALL. >> Jimmy: SHE SAYS, "TRAVELING WITH MY PARENTS.
MOM WAS DRIVING. SHE YELLED OUT, 'THIS GUY MUST BE GOING AT LEAST A 100.
DAD SAID, 'WHO?' MOM SAID, 'THE GUY I'M PASSING.'"
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW"
HASHTAGS TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES GO TO
TONIGHTSHOW.COMHASHTAGS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE, "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME
CALLED "AUTO-TUNE UP." HERE WE GO
* >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. NOW I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP
HIS MOVIE, "THE LAST SON" IS IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 10th. PLEASE WELCOME COLSON BAKER,
A.K.A MACHINE GUN KELLY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WHAT'S UP JIMMY
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE. COME ON!
[ APPLAUSE ] COLSON BAKER ALL RIGHT, BUD
HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS HITTING THIS BUTTON AND THEN
SELECT A RANDOM BORING PARAGRAPH. OKAY
OUR JOB IS TO TURN IT INTO AN AWESOME SONG WITH THE HELP OF AUTO TUNES
>> GOOD GOD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
EVERYBODY, I'M UP FIRST. LET'S SEE WHAT I'M AUTO TUNING LET'S START THE GENERATOR.
* "A GUIDE ON HOW TO CARE FOR A CHRISTMAS TREE."
OKAY >> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, BUDDY
HERE WE GO WISH ME LUCK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * STEP ONE PUT THE TREE IN THE WATER
STEP TWO YOU TRIM THE TRUNK * * AVOID CUTTING A
AN ANGLE OR IN A V-SHAPE * * STEP THREE WATER IT DAILY
STEP FOUR BE CAUTIOU OF HEAT SOURCE AND FIREPLACES *
* AND STEP FIVE ENJOY THE TREE ENJOY THE TREE
ENJOY THE TREE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: DEEP VOICE WOW. I BROKE A SWEAT ON BE THAT ONE
COLSON NOW, IT'S YOUR TURN >> I DON'T WANT TO GO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S START THE GENERATOR. HERE WE GO
TELL ME WHEN YOU WANT TO STOP. * "A NEXTDOOR POST ABOUT CROWS."
YOU KNOW THE APP NEXTDOOR. THIS IS A POST ABOUT CROWS AND YOU HAVE TO --
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: -- AUTO TUNE. YEAH
[ APPLAUSE ] * * OOH-OOH-OOH
I NEED YOU TO STOP FEEDING THE CROWS BAGELS * CAUSE THEY AR
EATING THE BAGEL YOU ARE GIVING THE THEY ARE STASHING THEM *
* IN MY TREES AND IT'S RAINING BAGEL ON MY HOUSE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THAT IS THE STUPIDEST - >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT YOU
RHYMED BAGELS WITH BAGELS. THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO GOOD >> Jimmy: YOU BETTER STOP USING
BAGELS >> THOSE ARE SOME STRONG CROWS CARRYING BAGELS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH THEY ARE STRONG YEAH, YEAH OKAY
IT'S MY TURN SEE WHAT I'M SINGING HERE. >> THERE'S MORE?
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> OH, OKAY.
>> Jimmy: HERE WE GO * "TOP TRENDING PET NAMES
OF 2021. >> OH, THAT'S GREAT. >> Jimmy: THIS IS HELPFUL AS
WELL >> THAT'S GOOD >> Jimmy: YEAH
SO THIS IS TOP TRENDING, WHAT PEOPLE ARE NAMING THEIR PETS IN 2021.
ROOTS, GIVE ME A THING - >> GOOD LUCK >> Jimmy: THANK YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * JOE JOE JOE JOE
JOE JO COME HERE JO IF YOU DON'T LIKE JOE *
* YOU CAN G WITH DOGE * * DOGE DOGE DOG
DOGE DOG IF YOU DON'T LIKE DOGE THIS RYHME TILL YOU GO *
* WITH MaHOME DOJA CAT DOJA CAT NO CAPPUCCINO CAPPUCCIN
BABY YODA * * BABY YODA OH BABY YODA
OH-O MAHOMES * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> THAT WAS GOOD DOJA CAT 20. >> Jimmy: THAT WAS THE ONE
YEAH YOU ALSO GOT UP THERE AND STOOD FEEL LIKE A ROCK STAR.
YOU GET OUT THERE AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE -- I WAS LIKE, "DAMN, THAT IT'S A
A REAL STAR. ALL RIGHT, START THE GENERATOR HERE
* "A YELP REVIEW OF A BODY PIERCING SHOP IN IDAHO."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> IT FEELS LIKE IT'S MINE [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER MAKE A YELP REVIEW? >> I FEEL LIKE I FOR SURE GOT
MY BODY PIERCED IN IDAHO BEFORE [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU MIGHT HAVE ALL RIGHT, THIS HITS HOME. THIS HITS HOME
IT'S A PERSONAL ONE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I GOT A NOSE PIERCING HER
THREE DAYS AGO * * TODAY THE GEM I IN MY NOSE STUD FELL OUT
IF I COULD THEY COUL CHANGE IT TO A NEW STUD * * BUT THE GUY ON THE PHON
WAS SUPER RUDE IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR JEWELRY IS CRAPPY *
* AND WORST OF ALL DAMN I GOT A STAPH INFECTION * [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT WAS AMAZING GIVE IT UP FOR COLSON BAKER!
WE'RE TALKING TO HIM LATER IN THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* WE'RE TALKING T COLSON AFTER THE BREAK JOIN US COME BAC
MORE TONIGHT SHOW * * I WANNA TALK TO YOU HELL
WE'RE GONNA TALK TALK WE'RE GONNA TALK TALK * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST STARS
AS SANTA CLAUS IN THE NEW ANIMATED COMEDY SERIES "SANTA INC." WHICH BEGINS STREAMING
TOMORROW ON HBO MAX. HERE'S THE ONE AND ONLY SETH ROGEN, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE
>> Jimmy: I ALMOST LIKE YOU BEING ON A GIANT SCREEN. >> I -- THIS IS MUCH BETTER.
IF I WAS THERE I WOULD ASK IF I COULD TOUCH MACHINE GUN KELLY'S PANTS, THOUGH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU WOULD WANT TO
TOUCH IT - >> THEY LOOK COOL. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S A ROCK
STAR HEY, I - >> YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR NAME
BACK FROM MACHINE GUN. YOUR NAME'S MACHINE GUN. >> Jimmy: NO
>> LEAVE IT MACHINE GUN! >> Jimmy: NO, NO HE GOES BACK
HE GOES BACK AND FORTH, MAN. DID YOU EVER HAVE A NICKNAME OR TRY TO HAVE A NICKNAME?
>> NO. AND IF I HAD ONE AS COOL AS MACHINE GUN, I WOULD STICK WITH
IT IF YOU EVER KNEW ME AS MACHINE GUN ROGEN, THAT'S ALL
YOU WOULD EVER KNOW ME AS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SAY HAPPY
HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE ARE YOU -- I KNOW IN CANADA YOU
CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING EARLIER THAN WE CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING IS THAT OCTOBER?
AM I WAY LATE? >> THEY -- THEY DO I DIDN'T CELEBRATE IT GROWING
UP, HONESTLY AND IT'S BECAUSE MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT JEWISH
PEOPLE DID NOT CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING IN CANADA SOMETHING THAT I LATER FOUND TO
BE NOT TRUE AT ALL [ LAUGHTER ] IT WAS A LIE THEY TOLD US,
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GO THROUGH, LIKE, THE HASSLE OF DOING THANKSGIVING
AND SO THEY FABRICATED THAT JEWS DIDN'T DO THAT. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD
>> I DON'T KNOW WHY, IN MY HEAD >> Jimmy: OF COURSE, YOU HAD TO
BELIEVE THEM AND JUST GO, "YEAH, YEAH OF COURSE NOT.
BUT, WOW WHAT A LIE >> IT SEEMED LEGIT
YOU KNOW, JEWS DEPRIVE THEMSELVES OF A LOT OF GREAT THINGS
[ LAUGHTER ] WE DON'T EAT BACON IT ADDED UP.
IF WE'RE NOT EATING BACON, ANY -- ALL BETS ARE OFF. WHO KNOWS WHAT WE'RE NOT DOING
SO -- YEAH BUT, NOW THEY DO IT. IT'S FUNNY, NOW THAT I HAVE
NEPHEWS, THEY DO IT. >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS
'CAUSE A FEW WEEKS AGO, I WAS WATCHING, EVERYONE WATCHING, THE BIG ADELE CONCERT -- THAT
WAS THIS BIG CONCERT SPECIAL THE BIG SPECTACLE. AND WHO DO I SEE IN THE
AUDIENCE SETH ROGEN >> YEAH, I WAS THERE
I WAS IN THE FRONT ROW OF THE ADELE CONCERT. AND -- AND THAT IS AS
SURPRISING TO ME AS ANYONE BECAUSE I HAD NO IDEA I WAS ATTENDING THE TAPING OF AN
ADELE TELEVISION SPECIAL AT ALL. I -- WE GOT THE -- I GOT AN
INVITATION TO -- "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A SMALL ADELE CONCERT," IS WHAT I REMEMBER
ABSORBING. AND I GO TO MY WIFE LORI, "YOU WANT TO GO TO THIS SMALL ADELE
CONCERT? GREAT, SOUNDS FUN. IT'S AT GRIFFON PARK, THAT
SOUNDS COOL. SO, IF I'M BEING HONEST, I HATE TO BURST EVERYONE'S -- I SMOKE
WEED, JIMMY. AND ME AND MY WIFE - >> Jimmy: BREAKING NEWS.
BREAKING NEWS HERE >> I KNOW. IT'S TOUGH
BUT, YOU'LL HAVE TO RECONCILE THAT BUT WE -- SO WE WERE LIKE,
"IT'S AN ADELE CONCERT IT'S IN THE PARK." WE SMOKED A TON OF WEED.
AND WE'RE LIKE WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO AND ENJOY THIS LOVELY ADELE CONCERT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> WE PULL UP AND WE SEE CRANES -
CAMERA CRANES. THERE'S DRONES FLYING AROUND THERE'S AN ENTIRE CREW THERE
AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO, WE ARE AT THE FILMING OF A A TELEVISION SPECIAL, I THINK.
WE'RE ON A TELEVISION SHOW." AND I'M LIKE, "MAYBE IT'S NOT THAT BIG A TELEVISION SPECIAL.
AND THEN THE FIRST PERSON I SEE IS OPRAH WINFREY AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO.
I THINK IT'S A BIG TELEVISION SPECIAL. >> Jimmy: OH YEAH.
>> AND THEN ME AND MY WIFE WERE LIKE, OKAY MAYBE JUST KIND OF LIKE SLINK
INTO THE BACKGROUND. YOU KNOW LIKE WE'LL JUST SIT IN THE
BACK IT'S FINE. WE'RE -- YOU KNOW, WE ARE NOT
EQUIPPED MENTALLY TO DEAL WITH DOING THIS RIGHT NOW, REALLY AND SO WE GO UP TO THE DESK,
THEY GIVE US OUR TICKETS AND OUR SEAT NUMBERS LITERALLY ARE 1A AND 1B.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO! >> Jimmy: IT DOESN'T GET
BIGGER >> THAT SOUNDS CLOSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT -- THAT
SOUNDS REAL CLOSE. >> SO I -- WE GO TO 1A AND 1B AND WE'RE IN THE FRONT ROW
WE'RE IN FRONT ROW CENTER. WE'RE AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN FATHOMABLY BE.
I SIT DOWN THERE'S LIKE A CAMERA LITERALLY JUST POINTED AT MY FACE.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW ADELE? >> I'VE NEVER MET -- NO! I DON'T KNOW ADELE
AND IF ADEL, YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, WHY DID THAT -- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
AND THERE WAS -- BECAUSE THE WHOLE TIME I'M LIKE, "THERE'S SO MANY MORE FAMOUS PEOPLE THAN
ME HERE WHO SHOULD BE SITTING WHERE I'M SITTING. AND I COULD JUST, LIKE, FEEL
THEM BE INSULTED THAT I HAD SUCH A GOOD SEAT LIKE, I WAS IN FRONT OF DRAKE.
LIKE, THERE'S NO WORLD WHERE I SHOULD BE IN FRONT OF DRAKE. WHAT -- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE
AND I COULD JUST FEEL LIKE DRAKE'S EYES, LIKE DRILLING INTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD LIKE,
"WHY AM I IN 3R AND HE'S IN 1A?" LIKE I WAS SIX ROWS IN FRONT OF
LIKE ELLEN DEGENERES AND KRIS JENNER. LIKE, I TRULY HAVE NO IDEA WHY
THEY DID THAT. IT WAS TRULY WILD! >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN
YOU'RE ON, WHEN THE CAMERA TURNS ON TO YOU? WHAT DO YOU DO AT AN ADELE
CONCERT? DID YOU CLAP OR SING ALONG OR -
>> YOU TRY TO LOOK -- I DON'T KNOW I TRIED TO WHOLE TIME, JUST
TRIED TO LOOK COOL WHICH IS NOT A HEALTHY THOUGHT TO HAVE.
AND FOR ME AT AN ADELE - IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO LOOK COOL BECAUSE I'M UNCOMFORTABLE.
I'M TOO CLOSE. I FEEL LIKE LEONARDO DiCAPRIO BEHIND ME THINKING LIKE, "DID
SETH ROGEN WRITE 'ROLLING IN THE DEEP?' IS THAT WHY HE'S SO CLOSE?
LIKE, I CAN JUST -- I FEEL OUT OF PLACE AND SO I TRY TO JUST -- IT
LOOKED LIKE I VERY ACTIVELY TRIED TO LOOK LIKE I'M ENJOYING THIS ADELE CONCERT, WHICH I
WAS. BUT I WAS VERY DISTRACTED BY THE FACT THAT I WAS ON CAMERA.
SO, I WAS PLAYING THE ROLE OF JUST AN UNDISTRACTED, NORMAL COOL GUY TRYING TO ENJOY AN
ADELE CONCERT. >> Jimmy: WELL, WEIRDLY ENOUGH I PUT TOGETHER A QUICK LITTLE
MONTAGE OF YOU ENJOYING THE ADELE CONCERT. >> OH, NO.
I'M -- >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SETH ROGEN
[ LAUGHTER ] >> IT WAS LIVE
A LOT OF STANDING. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> EVERY TIME, I WAS JUST LIKE,
"ARE WE STANDING AFTER EVERY SONG?" THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF THOSE
THINGS LIKE, WE'RE STANDING EVERY TIME
EVERY SONG BUT -- >> Jimmy: DUDE, THAT'S
FANTASTIC. >> BUT EVERYONE I KNOW WATCHED IT
IT WAS -- I THINK IT'S THE MOST POPULAR THING I'VE EVER BEEN IN
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. LIKE, I HAVE -- THERE'S PEOPLE I KNOW WHO HAVE NOT WATCHED MY
LAST FIVE MOVIES WHO HAVE BEEN TEXTING ME, BEING LIKE, "YOU WERE MADE AT THAT ADELE
CONCERT. IT LOOKED INCREDIBLE." THAT'S WILD.
>> Jimmy: YOU ACTUALLY -- YOU GOT GREAT REVIEWS. GOOD
I'M GLAD >> VERY GOOD, RAVE REVIEWS >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ALSO, BUT I HEARD, IT'S NOT A RUMOR. I GUESS YOU ACTUALLY ARE THE
VOICE OF DONKEY KONG IN THE NEW "SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT -- I THINK THAT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE, TO ANYONE WHO PLAYS VIDEO -- I LOVED
"DONKEY KONG." I MEAN, IT'S LEGENDARY >> I LOVE "DONKEY KONG."
YEAH, AND I THINK -- YEAH, IT WAS AN -- IT WAS NOT AN EXPECTED CALL TO GET.
I NEVER -- AS I WAS PLAYING "DONKEY KONG" AS A CHILD, I NEVER PROJECTED MYSELF ON TO
THAT CHARACTER NECESSARILY BUT -- NO, IT'S A THRILL MY MOM IS VERY PROUD OF ME
EVERYONE'S VERY PROUD OF ME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO -- YOUR MOM, BY
THE WAY, WHO I FOLLOW ON TWITTER. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S WEIRD
THAT I FOLLOW YOUR MOM ON TWITTER, BUT - >> NOT AT ALL.
>> Jimmy: SHE MAKES ME LAUGH YOUR PARENTS HAVE BEEN TO THE SHOW MANY TIMES.
TELL HER I SAID HELLO. SHE SENT OUT THIS TWEET THAT MADE ME LAUGH.
SHE SAID, "MY SON IS DONKEY KONG. DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY
ABOUT THAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ]
SHE'S GOT GREAT DELIVERY, MAN. SHE WRITES GOOD JOKES! SHE WRITES GOOD JOKES.
>> IT IS FUNNY >> Jimmy: IT IS FUNNY. >> THAT'S THE TYPE OF SUPPORT
AND ENCOURAGEMENT I GET AT HOME - >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> FOR MY CAREER >> Jimmy: THEY REMIND YOU WHO YOU ARE.
ISN'T THAT GREAT I LOVE MOM I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
YOUR FUNNY NEW ANIMATED SERIES "SANTA INC." WHEN WE COME BACK MORE WITH SETH ROGEN, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN. COME ON BACK FOR MORE "TONIGHT SHOW."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *1, 2, 3...yay! >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH SETH ROGEN
SETH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU
>> I'LL TAKE MACHINE GUN IF HE DOESN'T WANT IT. >> Jimmy: MACHINE GUN ROGEN
RIGHT HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. SETH "MACHINE GUN" ROGEN
[ APPLAUSE ] NOW I WONDER - FIRST OF ALL, THANKS AGAIN FOR
TELLING THAT ADELE STORY THAT JUST MADE ME LAUGH. I'M STILL LAUGHING AT.
EVERYTIME YOU COME ON. BUT NOW I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU HAVE A NEW ANIMATED COMEDY
SERIES CALLED "SANTA INC." YOU PLAY SANTA CLAUS >> YES, I DO, WHICH EVERY
JEWISH BOY'S DREAM WOULD BE I THINK IN GENERAL >> Jimmy: WOW!
CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT "SANTA INC." IS ABOUT >> YEAH.
I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT THE NORTH POLE AND IT'S RUN LIKE A GIANT CORPORATION.
AND SANTA'S LIKE THE CEO, AND HE MAKES ALL THE DECISIONS KIND OF RUNNED LIKE AMAZON, I
GUESS. I PLAY SANTA AND I'M GOING TO BE RETIRING SOON
AND JEFF BEZOS IS ACTUALLY JUST POACHED MY, MY NEXT CHOICE SUCCESSOR, WHO TIM MEADOWS
ACTUALLY PLAYS AND I NEED A NEW SUCCESSOR, AND SARAH SILVERMAN PLAYS MY HEAD
ELF AND THER'S NEVER BEEN A FEMALE SANTA CLAUS BEFORE, QUITE OBVIOUSLY.
AND SHE WANTS TO BE MY SUCCESSOR, AND TO BE THE FIRST FEMALE SANTA CLAUS
SO IT'S A LOT LIKE "SUCCESSION" WITH ELVES [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: "SUCCESSION" WITH ELVES? >> THAT'S HOW WE SOLD IT
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S SETH ROGEN AND SARAH SILVERMAN IN "SANTA INC.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> I WANT TO BE THE NEXT
SUCCESSOR AND THE FIRST FEMALE SANTA CLAUS IN HISTORY * THE FIRST
ELFISH-SANTA * >> ME, CANDY - >> SMALLS.
>> YES, PROGRESS * CANDY WANTS IT REAL REAL BAD *
>> I'M THE MOST PROGRESSIVE SANTA IN HISTORY I'M A REAL CHANGE AGENT.
I'M AN ALLY, WHICH I CAN'T LABEL MYSELF AS BUT I'VE BEEN LABELLED THAT BY OTHERS.
AND BRENT, THE FIRST BLACK SUCCESSOR, WAS A HUGE PART OF MY LEGACY.
BUT MAYBE, IT'S TIME TO MAKE HISTORY AGAIN. I NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT, BUT
THIS COULD BE REALLY [ BLEEP ] AWESOME. >> OKAY.
VERY COOL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
SETH ROGEN "SANTA INC." BEGINS STREAMING TOMORROW ON HBO MAX.
CHECK IT OUT WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE TALKING TO COLSON BAKER, AKA,
MACHINE GUN KELLY. THANK YOU, SETH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A MULTI-PLATINUM SELLING ARTIST
AND A TALENTED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "THE LAST SON," WHICH IS IN SELECT
THEATERS DECEMBER 10th PLEASE WELCOME COLSON BAKER, AKA, MACHINE GUN KELLY
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THE NAME ACTUALLY IS - IT IS WEIRD NOT HEARING MACHINE GUN KELLY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IS IT ODD NOW BECAUSE YOU'VE BECOME SO FAMOUS AS MACHINE GUN THAT YOU'RE NOT
COLSON ANYMORE OR - >> I WAS NEVER -- I HAVEN'T
BEEN COLSON SINCE I WAS 15 SINCE I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, I WAS LIKE, "I'M MACHINE GUN KELLY."
>> Jimmy: YEAH BUT COLSON IS JUST BETTER FOR WHEN YOU'RE IN MOVIES?
>> YOU KNOW, NICKELODEON AND DISNEY DON'T LIKE MACHINE GUN. >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT MAKES
SENSE. THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME IN THE
CHAIR. I'M SO HAPPY YOU'VE BEEN HERE AND PERFORMED
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, I LOVED YOUR -
I LOVE YOUR NEW ALBUM. >> THANK YOU THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: IT'S FANTASTIC CONGRATULATIONS ON IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: BUT I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE AND SITTING IN THE CHAIR AND I GET
TALK TO YOU. BECAUSE -- MAN, YOU'RE REALLY FUN TO TALK TO
>> THANKS. >> Jimmy: TALKINKING TO ME BACKSTAGE, I MEAN, WE HAVE -
>> I WHISPERED SOMETHING TO YOU ONE TIME WHEN I PERFORMED HERE I WAS, LIKE, "DUDE, LOVE THAT
SONG 'SNOWBALL FIGHT'. >> Jimmy: I MEAN - >> WHICH WAS -- JIMMY HAD AN
ALBUM I LISTENED TO A LOT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS -
>> Jimmy: I PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN -- BELIEVE THAT YOU SAID THAT TO ME
>> YEAH -- IF YOU REPLAY IT BACK, YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE ME JUST SLIP IT TO YOU AND WALK
AWAY BUT I WAS JUST LIKE, "DUDE, I LOVE THAT.
>> Jimmy: "SNOWBALL FIGHT," I MEAN, THAT WAS LIKE ON OF MY FIRST --
* SNOWBALL SNOWBALL SNOWBALL FIGHT * [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, PLEASE, IT'S CLASSIC. BUT I HAVE NO --
REALLY, EVERYONE LOVES THAT. PLEASE DON'T - PLEASE SIT DOWN.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WE'LL ADD APPLAUSE LATER IN POST.
>> Jimmy: YOU DO HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, I WILL SAY PETE DAVIDSON WAS ON OUR SHOW
RECENTLY AND WE TALKED ABOUT YOU GUYS GETTING TOGETHER AND YOU FELL
OFF THE STAGE TOGETHER AT GOODNIGHTS AT "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
>> IF YOU SHOW THAT CLIP, I'M GOING -- >> Jimmy: I WOULD NEVER.
CAN WE SHOW IT [ DRUM ROLL THERE YOU GO, WATCH THIS
>> OH, GOD OH NO! [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: SO I - [ SAD TUBA ] -- GO TO PETE -
[ LAUGHTER ] SO I GO TO PETE, I GO, "WHAT HAPPENED
WHAT WAS THAT THING? WHAT HAPPENED WITH MACHINE GUN?
AND HE GOES, "HE HAD A BRUISED COCCYX." AND I GO, "WHAT?
HE GOES, "HE BRUISED HIS COCCYX." >> IT WAS BAD.
>> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU BRUISE -- HOW DID YOU GO ABOUT BRUISING YOUR COCCYX?
>> I WAS -- I HAD A MATCH WITH POST MALONE IN A BEER PONG GAME
AND -- >> Jimmy: AS ONE DOES, YEAH. OKAY
I'VE PLAYED BEER PONG AGAINST POST MALONE. >> AND YOU KNOW -- YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU GET THE CUP AND YOU START DRINKING >> Jimmy: OR COURSE.
>> SO, I -- WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO THE GAME AND I STARTED DRINKING
AND SO THEY FILMED ON THE WAY OUT, THEY DID LIKE A ROCKY, LIKE, BOXING MATCH, LIKE, YOU
KNOW, FILM ON THE WAY OUT. AND I, LIKE COULDN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE OF THE CAMERA
SO, I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT EVERY FIVE STEPS, I GOT TO DO SOMETHING COOL."
CAUSE IT'S LIKE 500 STEPS. I DON'T WANT TO JUST WAL >> Jimmy: YEP.
>> Jimmy: EXACTLY. >> SO, I WAS LIKE, "I GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
SO, EVERY FIVE STEPS, I'D BE LIKE - AND THEN, THERE WAS A STAIRCASE
RAIL AND I WAS, LIKE, "YEAH, GREAT. SO I'D HIT THE STAIRCASE RAIL
AND I RODE IT DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF IT I DIDN'T SEE A GIANT SPIKE AND IT
JUST - >> Jimmy: BRUISED YOUR COCCYX. >> AND THEN, THIS WAS ALSO,
LIKE, RIGHT WHEN I STARTING -- STARTING TO DATE, YOU KNOW, MEGAN, AND I -
I WAS HOLDING IT TOGETHER. IT WAS JUST -- IT WAS A BAD NIGHT.
LIKE, THE WHOLE -- I WON THE PING-PONG MATCH. I WENT HOME.
I WAS LIKE -- I HAD THIS - TRAVIS GOT ME THIS -- HE GOT ME A KNIFE THAT WAS -- THAT HAD AN
ENGRAVEMENT FROM THE NEW ALBUM ON IT. AND I WAS LIKE, "CHECK THIS
OUT/ THIS IS SICK." AND I THREW IT UP AND IT CAME
DOWN AND STUCK IN MY HAND. YOU SEE THAT RIGHT HERE? >> Jimmy: I DO SEE THAT.
>> YEAH, THAT WAS FROM WHEN A KNIFE STUCK IN MY -- CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW YOU THROW IT
UP AND YOUR SUPPOSED TO CATCH IT I LOOKED AT HER AND I WAS LIKE,
"CHECK THIS OUT. AND I WAS, LIKE -- >> Jimmy: SHE'S LIKE -
SHE'S LIKE, "YOU WERE THE COOLEST DUDE I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE!
KISS ME! WOW! >> AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING,
AS SOON AS SHE LEFT I WAS, LIKE - "YO, I NEED STITCHES REAL
QUICK. >> Jimmy: YEAH, LIKE, "DUDE, I HAVE A BRUISED COCCYX OVER HERE
AND A KNIFE IN MY HAND." >> GOT A BRUISED COCCYX AND A KNIFE IN MY HAND
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOVIE THIS IS "THE LAST SON.
>> YES, SO IT'S -- IT'S ALMOST - TO ME, I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO
SPEAK FOR THE DIRECTOR HE MIGHT BE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
BUT, TO ME, IT WAS ALMOST LIKE CRONOS, LIKE, THE GREEK MYTHOLOGY OF THE FATHER WHO
EATS HIS SONS WHO THEY - HE'S TOLD ONE OF HIS SONS IS GOING TO OVERTHROW HIM
SO HE EATS ALL OF HIS KIDS SO THAT THEY CAN'T OVERTHROW HIM. AND IT'S THE SAME THING IN THIS
ONE. LIKE, SAM WORTHINGTON IS THE FATHER
HE GETS A CURSE WHERE IT'S SAID THAT ONE OF HIS KIN IS GOING TO KILL HIM
SO HE GOES AND HE KILLS ALL OF HIS KIDS AND I'M THE LAST ONE THAT HE
HAS TO KILL. AND YOU GOT TO FIND -- YOU GOT TO WATCH THE MOVIE TO FIND OUT
IF - >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHAT HAPPENS THE "THE LAST SON" RIGHT HERE.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S A COLSON BAKER IN "THE LAST SON."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
YOU GOT A NICE PLACE HERE.
AH, CHIN UP, MAN YOU LOOK GOOD. THAT'S NICE.
MA'AM. TAKE A KNEEL FOR ME, SIR [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH, I'M INTO THAT. COLSON BAKER, AKA, MACHINE GUN KELLY, EVERYBODY
"THE LAST SON" IS IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 10th WILL YOU PLEASE COME BACK.
WHENEVER YOU'D LIKE, PLEASE COME BACK TO THE SHOW. I THINK YOU'RE REALLY FUN.
>> OKAY. I'LL JUST STAY HERE. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, PERFECT,
YEAH WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM MACKLEMORE
FEATURING WINDSER. STICK AROUND COME ON BACK
* >> JIMMY: PERFORMING "NEXT YEAR" FROM PIKE PLACE MARKET IN
SEATTLE, HERE'S MACKLEMORE FEATURING WINDSER!
* * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS YEA
NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS 'CAUSE * * NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN WITH
A FRESH KISS AND NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTE THAN THIS YEAR *
* NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS YEA NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS CAUSE * * NEW YEAR'S EVE COMI WITH A FRESH KISS AN
NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS * * NEXT YEAR'S MY COME U
I'VE BEEN LACKIN BUT I CAN FEEL THAT IT'S THE ONE ALL THE LAST 365 ONE SUCKED *
* LIKE GOD GROUP TEXTED THE WORLD AND DUMPED U BAH BAH BAH YOU BETTER
WATCH MY BOUNCE BACK * * I'MA BE THE MAN IN HERE GLASS TO THE SKY LIKE WE
TRYNA GRAB THE CHANDELIE I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS * * OPPORTUNITY TOAST
TO ME FOR BEIN EXACTLY WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE CAUSE LIFE IS GONNA *
* DO WHAT LIFE DOES I DON'T WANNA LOOK BAC AND REGRET WHO I WAS
LET GO OF THE EXPECTATIONS * * AND THEN FIRE ONE FORGET THE TALLY SHEET
BEFORE ALL MY TIME'S U AND I KNOW I GOTTA * * ROLL WITH I
I'M WELL AWARE THE UNIVERS DOESN'T OWE ME I KNOW THAT ALL OF THIS *
* PAIN LEADS TO GROWT I THINK THAT NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THI
I'M STILL AN OPTIMIST YEAH * * I GOT A LOT T LIVE ON TIME
AIN'T FOOLIN THA CAUSE NEXT YEAR'S GONNA * * BE BETTER THA
BETTER THAN GO NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS YEAR *
* NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS CAUSE NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN
WITH A FRESH KISS AND * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS
I'M SICK OF MISSIN OUT SICK OF THE FEAR AND DOUBT * * I'MA GET SPIRITUAL SOON
LIVE IN THE HERE AND NOW ALONE IN MY ROOM BUT YOU GON HEAR ME *
* LOUD AND CLEA LET'S START IT AT TH TOP OF THE YEA
I WANT ONE LAST CIGARETTE * * ONE LAST SIP OF I ONE LAST SECRE
ONE LAST LITTLE BI ONE LAST UPPER * * ONE LAST SEDATIVE
ONE LAST SUPPER WITH THE DEVIL AND HIS RELATIVE AND I WAS GONNA *
* CHANGE MY WAY I WAS JUST WAITIN FOR THAT DAY TO PULL MYSELF U
OUT OF THAT PHASE * * RUN THAT ROUTE AN MAKE A PLA
SO SICK OF SITTI ON THE BENCHES * * FINALLY TIME TO GET
IN SHAPE LIVIN LIKE A SCRIMMAGE THINKIN THAT I'LL *
* GET ANOTHER DAY NOW NO I AIN'T WAITI FOR COACH MARCHIN BAND
I'MA THROW AND PARADE * * IN MY ZON MAN IN THE MIRRO
FINALLY GOT ON FORGET NEXT YEAR * * THE TIME IS NOW T
PRESS GO AND I'M GON I'M STILL AN OPTIMIST YEAH *
* I GOT A LOT T LIVE ON TIME AIN'T FOOLIN THA
CAUSE NEXT YEAR'S GONNA * * BE BETTER THA BETTER THAN GO
NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS YEAR * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B
BETTER THAN THIS CAUSE NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN WITH A FRESH KISS *
* NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS YEAR * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS
CAUSE NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN WITH A FRESH KISS * * AND NEXT YEAR'S GONNA
BE BETTER THAN THI LET'S GO * >> THE FISH IS FAMOUS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT, BLAKE SHELTON,
ANNA GASTEYER RACHEL DRATCH WILL BE MY GUESTS. MY THANKS TO SETH ROGEN,
COLSON BAKER A.K.A MACHINE GUN KELLY. MACKLEMORE, WINDSER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *