1 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,977 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:17,317 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:21,354 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - SETH ROGEN 4 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,657 COLSON BAKER AKA MACHINE GUN KELLY, MUSICAL GUEST MACKLEMORE 5 00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:31,631 FEATURING WINDSER, AND THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1562 6 00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:39,372 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:50,550 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 8 00:00:50,550 --> 00:01:03,763 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 9 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:06,299 PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," 10 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:07,834 EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE HERE. 11 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:13,173 YOU MADE IT. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, GUYS TONIGHT WAS THE 89th 12 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,909 ANNUAL ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING. YEAH 13 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:21,915 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU CAN SEE IN ROCKEFELLER 14 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,084 PLAZA BESIDES ICE SKATERS FALLING DOWN IT REALLY IS 15 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:32,759 I THINK SO [ LAUGHTER ] HAVING A GIANT TREE OUTSIDE 16 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,595 A GREAT THOUGH IT'S IS THAT SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR WHEN ROCKEFELLER CENTER 17 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,764 SMELLS LIKE THE INSIDE OF AN UBER DON'T YOU THINK? 18 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,532 [ LAUGHTER ] THE TREE REALLY IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD THOUGH. 19 00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,501 IT'S DECORATED WITH MORE THAN 50,000 LIGHTS. YEAH 20 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:44,237 THEN ONE GUY PLUGGED IN A TESLA AND THE WHOLE CITY BLACKED OUT >> Steve: OH 21 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:45,972 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "GOT TO CHARGE IT UP, DUDE!" 22 00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:48,375 [ LAUGHTER ] IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH THE TREE IS TOPPED WITH A STAR COVERED 23 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:51,778 IN 3 MILLION CRYSTALS. AND ONE CONSTRUCTION WORKER THEY FORGOT TO BRING DOWN. 24 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,948 "HELP! HEY! [ LAUGHTER ] 25 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,651 YUP, THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WERE IN ATTENDANCE. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, EVEN THE 26 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:02,922 TREE WAS LIKE, "UM, CAN EVERYONE JUST THROW ON A MASK, AND TAKE LIKE SIX STEPS BACK, 27 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:08,161 PLEASE?" [ LAUGHTER ] YUP, PEOPLE WAITING OUTSIDE FOR 28 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:12,332 THE TREE LIGHTING ALL DAY. AFTER A FEW HOURS, ONE GUY WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH 29 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,334 IS MY PEE BOTTLE AND WHICH IS MY HOT CIDER BOTTLE. [ AUDIENCE OOHS 30 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,069 "IT'S HAPPENS -- IT'S HAPPENS EVERYBODY YEAR!" [ LAUGHTER ] 31 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,972 "I GOT TO GET A LABEL MAKER NEXT YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ] 32 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:25,111 "I GOT TO CHARGE MY TESLA. MEANWHILE, EARLIER IN THE WHITE HOUSE ON THE FOURTH NIGHT OF 33 00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:29,916 HANUKKAH PRESIDENT BIDEN HOSTED A MENORAH LIGHTING NOTHING SAYS YOU REALLY CARE 34 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:32,318 ABOUT A HOLIDAY LIKE WAITING UNTIL THE FOURTH NIGHT TO CELEBRATE IT 35 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:37,891 THAT'S WHAT I -- [ LAUGHTER ] THERE WAS A FUN MOMENT TONIGHT 36 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,860 WHEN BIDEN LOOKED AT THE MENORAH AND SAID, "WHEN I WAS A KID WE CALLED THIS A 37 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:49,169 A FLASHLIGHT." [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE NEWS, AN FDA PANEL 38 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:53,740 JUST VOTED 13-10 NARROWLY ENDORSED MERCK'S ANTI-VIRAL COVID PILL 39 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:57,777 YEAH WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICATION, I'M NOT SURE "NARROWLY 40 00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,947 ENDORSED" IS THE PHRASE YOU WANT TO HEAR [ LAUGHTER ] 41 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:06,086 THE DRUG THEY SAY IS ONLY 30% EFFECTIVE. [ LAUGHTER ] 42 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,822 FOR CONTEXT, THAT'S ONLY 30% MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A CALZONE. [ LAUGHTER ] 43 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:14,828 JUST PUTTING IT IN CONTEXT SOME POLITICAL NEWS. DR. OZ OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED 44 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,797 THAT HE IS RUNNING FOR U.S. SENATE IN PENNSYLVANIA YEAH 45 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:20,867 HE'S DIVING RIGHT IN AND HE'S EVEN TESTING OUT SOME CAMPAIGN SLOGANS TO SEE WHAT 46 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,837 PEOPLE RESPOND TO. >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YUP, CHECK SOME OF 47 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:27,207 THESE OUT. FIRST UP, THERE'S "DR. OZ, MAKE AMERICA TURN THIS HEAD AND 48 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,677 COUGH AGAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT, THERE'S "DR. OZ, STICK 49 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,646 AROUND AFTER THE BREAK I'M TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SNEEZE." 50 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:40,754 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WHAT [ LAUGHTER ] 51 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:44,090 >> Jimmy: HE'S ALSO TRYING OUT, "DR. OZ, JUST CALL ME DR. PHILLY 52 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:47,961 WAIT THAT IT DOESN'T WORK." [ LAUGHTER ] 53 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,263 UP NEXT, THERE'S, "DR. OZ, I KNOW OPRAH." [ LAUGHTER ] 54 00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:54,634 FOLLOWED BY, "DR. OZ, NO, REALLY I KNOW HER." 55 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:58,471 [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, "DR. OZ, I MEAN, WE HAVEN'T REALLY SPOKEN 56 00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:05,445 RECENTLY, BUT SHE GIVE MY TEXT THUMBS UP SOMETIMES. [ APPLAUSE ] 57 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:09,516 AH, HEY DID YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS CNN HAS SUSPENDED CHRIS CUOMO 58 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:12,052 INDEFINITELY FOR HIS ROLE IN ADVISING HIS BROTHER ANDREW CUOMO DURING HIS RECENT 59 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:16,289 SCANDAL. [ AUDIENCE OOHS YEAH 60 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:19,225 CHRIS CUOMO KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN CNN ADDED A SUSPENSION COUNTDOWN CLOCK. 61 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:23,496 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, YOU COULD TELL CUOMO REALY MISSES CNN 62 00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:26,766 TODAY HE WALKED UP TO A PAIR OF STRANGERS AND ASK IF HE COULD STAND BETWEEN THEM WHILE THEY 63 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,070 YELL AT EACH OTHER [ LAUGHTER ] WELL THIS IS ALWAYS FUN. 64 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:34,307 TODAY, SPOTIFY RELEASED THEIR 2021 WRAPPED PLAYLIST. AND EVERYONE'S BEEN SHARING 65 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:38,578 THEM ONLINE TO SHOW THEIR MOST LISTENED TO SONGS AND ARTISTS OF THE YEAR. 66 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:43,183 DID YOU GUYS GET YOURS YEAH [ CHEERS ] 67 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,685 MY MOST PLAYED SONG OF THE YEAR WAS "GOOD 4 U" BY OLIVIA RODRIGO 68 00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:50,824 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOVE THAT. QUEST, HOW ABOUT YOU 69 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:54,327 >> Questlove: YEAH, I'D LISTEN TO "A LOVE SUPREME" BY JOHN COLTRANE. 70 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,296 >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH "LOVE SUPREME. QuestLove: YEAH. 71 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,264 >> Jimmy: THAT'S NICE. YEAH, HIGGINS, HOW ABOUT YOU, BUD? 72 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,333 >> Steve: MINE'S RIGHT HERE. HERE YOU GO. * I HAVE 73 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:05,372 STRUCTURED SETTLEMEN AND I NEED CASH NO CALL JG WENTWORTH * 74 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:10,043 * 877-CASH-NOW * >> Jimmy: THAT WAS YOUR MOST PLAYED SONG OF THE YEAR? 75 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:14,047 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: YEAH, I LOVE IT CAPTURES THE FEELING OF 76 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,283 STRUCTURED SETTLEMENTS BUT ALSO NEEDING CASH NOW [ LAUGHTER ] 77 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:21,221 >> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, SPEAKING OF FEELINGS, MY MOST PLAYED ARTIST OF THE YEAR 78 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:27,560 WAS TAYLOR SWIFT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE QUEST, HOW ABOUT YOU 79 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:31,364 >> Questlove: STEVIE WONDER. >> Jimmy: YEAH, STEVIE WONDER. [ CHEERS ] 80 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,066 NICE NICE HIGGINS, WHAT ABOUT YOU? 81 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:37,504 WHO WAS YOUR NUMBER ONE ARTIST >> Steve: OH, THE OPERA SQUAD. >> Jimmy: THE OPERA -- OPERA 82 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,806 SQUAD? I DON'T THINK I KNOW THE OPERA SQUAD. 83 00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:42,208 >> Steve: OH YEAH. SURE THEY DID THIS SONG 84 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:46,146 * I HAVE STRUCTURED SETTLEMEN AND I NEED CASH NO 85 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:49,315 CALL JG WENTWORTH * >> Jimmy: STOP, STOP PLEASE, STOP THAT. 86 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:52,585 COULD YOU STOP IT. HIGGNS, THAT'S A JINGLE. THAT'S NOT A SONG. 87 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:55,755 >> Questlove: YEAH, MAN. IT'S KIND OF TERRIBLE. >> Steve: COME ON, GUYS. 88 00:05:55,755 --> 00:06:01,094 * I KNOW MY TASTE IN MUSIC MAY BE A LITTLE STRANGE, A LITTLE ODD, 89 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:06,666 YOU MIGHT CALL IT. BUT IT'S BEEN A HARD YEAR. IT'S BEEN A HARD YEAR ON ALL OF 90 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:10,170 US SO MAYBE BEFORE YOU JUDGE MAYBE TAKE A MINUTE TO THINK ABOUT 91 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:15,642 SOME OF THE LYRICS THAT REALLY PUT THIS THING IN PERSPECTIVE. [ LAUGHTER ] 92 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:22,515 "I HAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEED CASH NOW. CALL JG WENTWORTH 93 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:32,359 877-CASH-NOW." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW. 94 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:37,497 YOU'RE RIGHT HEY, WHAT IS YOUR STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT FOR 95 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:41,234 >> Steve: APPARENTLY I GOT DRUNK AT A ROCKETTES CHRISTMAS SHOW AND A CAMEL STEPPED ON MY 96 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:53,146 HEAD [ LAUGHTER ] HURT PRETTY BAD. 97 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:59,085 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? >> Steve: HURT PRETTY BAD. >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU 98 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,554 GOT DRUNK? >> Steve: WELL, DRUNK, MEANING LIKE I HAD SIX OR SEVEN VODKAS 99 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,089 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: STEVE HIGGINS, EVERYBODY. 100 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,158 CONGRATULATIONS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * I NEED A STRUCTURED 101 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:11,297 SETTLEMENT * * * JG WENTWORTH * 102 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:14,234 >> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS -- OH, MY GOSH THIS IS EXCITING, ACTUALLY 103 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:18,405 GET THIS WALMART -- LOVE WALMART. WALMART IS SELLING A BAKING KIT 104 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:23,743 WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO MAKE A FAMILY-SIZED TWINKIE. [ CHEERS ] 105 00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:27,147 MOVE OVER PFIZER AND MODERNA WE GOT A NEW FAVORITE FOR THE NOBEL PRIZE RIGHT HERE 106 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:34,254 FAMILY-SIZE TWINKIE! [ APPLAUSE ] SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS THIS KIT 107 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:37,424 WHEN WE WERE ALL BUYING SOURDOUGH STARTERS I MEAN, COME ON. 108 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:40,894 THE GREAT THING ABOUT TWINKIES IS THAT YOU CAN SERVE IT AS A CHRISTMAS DESSERT THIS YEAR. 109 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:44,731 AND IF YOU DON'T FINISH IT, IT WILL BE FRESH FOR NEXT YEAR. [ LAUGHTER ] 110 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:49,436 AND FINALLY, I SAW THAT CARDI B IS LAUNCHING HER OWN LINE OF VODKA-INFUSED WHIPPED CREAM. 111 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:53,073 [ AUDIENCE OOHS THANK GOD. SOMETHING TO HELP ME FORGET I 112 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,076 JUST SPRAYED AN ENTIRE CAN OF WHIPPED CREAM IN MY MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ] 113 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,977 >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: HIGGINS YOU CAN BRING IT - 114 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,146 >> Steve: I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT TO THE NATIVITY SCENE 115 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,316 [ LAUGHTER ] OH MY GOD, CARDI >> Jimmy: YEAH 116 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,720 LUCKILY, IT'S NON-DAIRY FOR ALL THE HEALTH CONSCIOUS VODKA INFUSED WHIPPED CREAM EATERS 117 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,422 OUT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THIS IS GREAT. 118 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:12,492 YOU SQUIRT A LITTLE IS INSIDE A FAMILY-SIZE TWINKIE, NOW THAT'S A PARTY 119 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,862 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS 120 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:35,048 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 121 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:40,920 >> Jimmy: WHAT A FUN SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT STARS AS SANTA CLAUS IN THE NEW 122 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,423 ANIMATED COMEDY SERIES "SANTA INC." WHICH BEGINS STREAMING TOMORROW ON HBO MAX. 123 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:51,865 SETH ROGEN IS JOINING US [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE SETH. 124 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,801 PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE NEW MOVIE "THE LAST SON" IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 10th. 125 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:59,506 COLSON BAKER, AKA MACHINE GUN KELLY IS HERE TONIGHT! 126 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:05,011 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE TALKING WITH HIM. AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM 127 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:10,884 MACKLEMORE FEATURING WINDSER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GREAT SHOW 128 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,219 GUYS IT IS TIME FOR OUR "TONIGHT SHOW" HASH TAGS HERE WE GO 129 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:13,253 "TONIGHT SHOW" HASH TAGS HERE WE GO 130 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:20,160 * HASH TAGS * HASHTAGS * 131 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:25,298 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NOW WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT 132 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,034 A HASHTAG AND ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. SO SINCE IT'S THE HOLIDAYS, 133 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:32,639 PEOPLE WILL BE TRAVELING I SENT OUT THE HASHTAG TRAVEL FAIL 134 00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:35,175 AND I ASKED YOU GUYS TO SHARE SOME OF YOUR FUNNIEST OR WEIRDEST STORIES FROM TRIPS 135 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:40,380 THAT YOU'VE BEEN ON. WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC 136 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,483 SO THANK YOU FOR PLAYING ALONG [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE 137 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,286 SOME OF MY FAVORITES THESE ARE TRAVEL FAIL RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS. 138 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,456 THIS FIRST ONE'S FROM @BAKEROSS1988. HE SAYS, "RENTAL CAR COULDN'T 139 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:53,493 CONNECT OUR PHONES' BLUETOOTH AND WOULDN'T STOP TRYING WE SPENT THE ENTIRE ROAD TRIP 140 00:09:53,493 --> 00:10:01,267 WITH A NICE ROBOT LADY SAYING, 'I'M SORRY, I CAN'T FIND YOU, EVERY TEN MINUTES.'" 141 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,871 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "ONLY SEVEN MORE HOURS, KIDS WE'LL BE - 142 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:11,311 "I'M SORRY I CAN'T FIND YOU." THIS ONE'S FROM @MOVIENERD15 143 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,313 HE SAYS, "WE HIT TURBULENCE AND A VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY FELL OUT OF THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT AND 144 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,048 STARTED ROLLING DOWN THE CABIN PEOPLE THOUGHT HE WAS A CHILD IN A SUIT AND BOW TIE AND 145 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:25,759 STARTED SCREAMING. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "WHERE'S MY VEN DOLL 146 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:34,834 DEREK! [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HELP ME! 147 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,770 >> Steve: HELP ME. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM 148 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,338 @TEESA1980 SHE SAYS, "MY FIRST TIME FLYING I MET THE PILOT. 149 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,740 AS I WAS BOARDING, I TOLD HIM I WAS SCARED HE MADE ANNOUNCEMENT 150 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,809 'WE HAVE NEW FLYER ONBOARD TODAY. DON'T WORRY. 151 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:51,751 IT'S MY FIRST TIME, TOO.'" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE'S FROM @MARISAROSIE22 152 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,387 SHE SAYS, "OUR LUGGAGE WAS FALLING OFF THE ROOF OF OUR CAR. 153 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,557 SO EVERYONE HONKING TO LET US KNOW MY STEPDAD DIDN'T KNOW WHY THEY 154 00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:02,595 WERE HONKING SO HE FLIPPED THEM ALL OFF." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 155 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:06,399 >> Steve: HOW DARE YOU [ LAUGHTER ] HONKING. 156 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:11,538 >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @HAATS528, BUT IT'S AN EXTRA A A IN HAT HAATS 157 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:15,375 >> Jimmy: HAATS. >> Steve: HAATS. [ LAUGHTER ] 158 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,143 >> Jimmy: SHE SAYS, "WE WERE FIRST IN LINE FOR A FLIGHT OUT OF VEGAS WHEN THESE OLDER GUYS 159 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,947 WITH HAWAIIAN SHIRTS WERE ALLOWED TO CUT IN FRONT OF US. MY FRIEND LEANED OVER AND SAID, 160 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:25,885 'WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? THE BEACH BOYS AND THAT'S HOW I MET THE REAL 161 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,822 BEACH BOYS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE * 162 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:32,425 >> QuestLove: AH >> Jimmy: THE WHOLE STORY IN ONE TWEET RIGHT THERE. 163 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:38,865 >> Steve: THAT'S MITCH MILLER. >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @EDDIELOVESTOAST 164 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,668 >> Steve: OH HE DOES [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "WAS 165 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:44,204 LISTENING TO A TRUE CRIME PODCAST ON A TRAIN RIDE. WHEN I GOT TO MY STOP, I 166 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,841 REALIZED MY HEADPHONES HADN'T BEEN PLUGGED IN. I'VE BEEN PLAYING OUT OF MY 167 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:54,514 PHONE THE ENTIRE TIME. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: AND THEN IT WAS 168 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:58,451 MURDER." >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @PDB435. 169 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,388 HE SAYS, "FOR SEVERAL MILES OF A ROAD TRIP, MY FRIENDS AND I WERE BEHIND A MINIVAN THAT HAD 170 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,691 A TV IN IT PLAYING "FAST AND THE FURIOUS. WE GOT SO INTO WATCHING IT THAT 171 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:12,665 I ACCIDENTALLY REAR-ENDED THEM [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: LIVE ACTION MOVIE. 172 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,968 >> Jimmy: "THIS MOVIE IS SO REALISTIC. >> Steve: "YOU'RE LIKE FAMILY. 173 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:20,306 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AH, THIS LAST -- THIS LAST ONE'S FROM @MAMAMARSHALL2 174 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:23,143 >> Steve: MA, MA, MA MARSHALL. >> Jimmy: SHE SAYS, "TRAVELING WITH MY PARENTS. 175 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:26,212 MOM WAS DRIVING. SHE YELLED OUT, 'THIS GUY MUST BE GOING AT LEAST A 100. 176 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,515 DAD SAID, 'WHO?' MOM SAID, 'THE GUY I'M PASSING.'" 177 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,117 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW" 178 00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,652 HASHTAGS TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES GO TO 179 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:36,823 TONIGHTSHOW.COMHASHTAGS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE, "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. 180 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:56,843 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 181 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,479 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME 182 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:03,049 CALLED "AUTO-TUNE UP." HERE WE GO 183 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:19,599 * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. NOW I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP 184 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,335 HIS MOVIE, "THE LAST SON" IS IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 10th. PLEASE WELCOME COLSON BAKER, 185 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:34,080 A.K.A MACHINE GUN KELLY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WHAT'S UP JIMMY 186 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,649 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE. COME ON! 187 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:40,487 [ APPLAUSE ] COLSON BAKER ALL RIGHT, BUD 188 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,123 HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS HITTING THIS BUTTON AND THEN 189 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:47,694 SELECT A RANDOM BORING PARAGRAPH. OKAY 190 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,964 OUR JOB IS TO TURN IT INTO AN AWESOME SONG WITH THE HELP OF AUTO TUNES 191 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:55,001 >> GOOD GOD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 192 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,971 EVERYBODY, I'M UP FIRST. LET'S SEE WHAT I'M AUTO TUNING LET'S START THE GENERATOR. 193 00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:05,145 * "A GUIDE ON HOW TO CARE FOR A CHRISTMAS TREE." 194 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,548 OKAY >> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, BUDDY 195 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:12,285 HERE WE GO WISH ME LUCK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 196 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:28,902 * * STEP ONE PUT THE TREE IN THE WATER 197 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:34,574 STEP TWO YOU TRIM THE TRUNK * * AVOID CUTTING A 198 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:45,952 AN ANGLE OR IN A V-SHAPE * * STEP THREE WATER IT DAILY 199 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:53,927 STEP FOUR BE CAUTIOU OF HEAT SOURCE AND FIREPLACES * 200 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:59,599 * AND STEP FIVE ENJOY THE TREE ENJOY THE TREE 201 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:04,738 ENJOY THE TREE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OKAY. 202 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:12,612 >> Jimmy: DEEP VOICE WOW. I BROKE A SWEAT ON BE THAT ONE 203 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:16,683 COLSON NOW, IT'S YOUR TURN >> I DON'T WANT TO GO. [ LAUGHTER ] 204 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,853 >> Jimmy: LET'S START THE GENERATOR. HERE WE GO 205 00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:26,192 TELL ME WHEN YOU WANT TO STOP. * "A NEXTDOOR POST ABOUT CROWS." 206 00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,461 YOU KNOW THE APP NEXTDOOR. THIS IS A POST ABOUT CROWS AND YOU HAVE TO -- 207 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:32,065 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: -- AUTO TUNE. YEAH 208 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:44,744 [ APPLAUSE ] * * OOH-OOH-OOH 209 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:59,859 I NEED YOU TO STOP FEEDING THE CROWS BAGELS * CAUSE THEY AR 210 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:11,104 EATING THE BAGEL YOU ARE GIVING THE THEY ARE STASHING THEM * 211 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:23,683 * IN MY TREES AND IT'S RAINING BAGEL ON MY HOUSE * 212 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,186 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THAT IS THE STUPIDEST - >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT YOU 213 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:30,123 RHYMED BAGELS WITH BAGELS. THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO GOOD >> Jimmy: YOU BETTER STOP USING 214 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:35,261 BAGELS >> THOSE ARE SOME STRONG CROWS CARRYING BAGELS. 215 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:41,368 >> Jimmy: YEAH THEY ARE STRONG YEAH, YEAH OKAY 216 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:46,206 IT'S MY TURN SEE WHAT I'M SINGING HERE. >> THERE'S MORE? 217 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,608 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> OH, OKAY. 218 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:51,111 >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO * "TOP TRENDING PET NAMES 219 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,113 OF 2021. >> OH, THAT'S GREAT. >> Jimmy: THIS IS HELPFUL AS 220 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,814 WELL >> THAT'S GOOD >> Jimmy: YEAH 221 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,249 SO THIS IS TOP TRENDING, WHAT PEOPLE ARE NAMING THEIR PETS IN 2021. 222 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,651 ROOTS, GIVE ME A THING - >> GOOD LUCK >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. 223 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:12,432 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * JOE JOE JOE JOE 224 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,935 JOE JO COME HERE JO IF YOU DON'T LIKE JOE * 225 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:20,840 * YOU CAN G WITH DOGE * * DOGE DOGE DOG 226 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,879 DOGE DOG IF YOU DON'T LIKE DOGE THIS RYHME TILL YOU GO * 227 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:37,057 * WITH MaHOME DOJA CAT DOJA CAT NO CAPPUCCINO CAPPUCCIN 228 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:43,463 BABY YODA * * BABY YODA OH BABY YODA 229 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:47,967 OH-O MAHOMES * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 230 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:56,910 >> THAT WAS GOOD DOJA CAT 20. >> Jimmy: THAT WAS THE ONE 231 00:17:56,910 --> 00:18:00,647 YEAH YOU ALSO GOT UP THERE AND STOOD FEEL LIKE A ROCK STAR. 232 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,382 YOU GET OUT THERE AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE -- I WAS LIKE, "DAMN, THAT IT'S A 233 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:09,055 A REAL STAR. ALL RIGHT, START THE GENERATOR HERE 234 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,690 * "A YELP REVIEW OF A BODY PIERCING SHOP IN IDAHO." 235 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,193 [ LAUGHTER ] >> IT FEELS LIKE IT'S MINE [ LAUGHTER ] 236 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,295 >> Jimmy: DID YOU EVER MAKE A YELP REVIEW? >> I FEEL LIKE I FOR SURE GOT 237 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,231 MY BODY PIERCED IN IDAHO BEFORE [ LAUGHTER ] 238 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:21,301 >> Jimmy: YOU MIGHT HAVE ALL RIGHT, THIS HITS HOME. THIS HITS HOME 239 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:35,181 IT'S A PERSONAL ONE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 240 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:40,520 * ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I GOT A NOSE PIERCING HER 241 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:50,263 THREE DAYS AGO * * TODAY THE GEM I IN MY NOSE STUD FELL OUT 242 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:59,773 IF I COULD THEY COUL CHANGE IT TO A NEW STUD * * BUT THE GUY ON THE PHON 243 00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:11,351 WAS SUPER RUDE IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR JEWELRY IS CRAPPY * 244 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:21,027 * AND WORST OF ALL DAMN I GOT A STAPH INFECTION * [ LAUGHTER ] 245 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:26,866 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT WAS AMAZING GIVE IT UP FOR COLSON BAKER! 246 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:31,237 WE'RE TALKING TO HIM LATER IN THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 247 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:38,478 * WE'RE TALKING T COLSON AFTER THE BREAK JOIN US COME BAC 248 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:43,717 MORE TONIGHT SHOW * * I WANNA TALK TO YOU HELL 249 00:19:43,717 --> 00:20:00,133 WE'RE GONNA TALK TALK WE'RE GONNA TALK TALK * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST STARS 250 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,901 AS SANTA CLAUS IN THE NEW ANIMATED COMEDY SERIES "SANTA INC." WHICH BEGINS STREAMING 251 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:10,210 TOMORROW ON HBO MAX. HERE'S THE ONE AND ONLY SETH ROGEN, LADIES AND 252 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,711 SETH ROGEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 253 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,782 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 254 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:19,486 >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE 255 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:24,858 >> Jimmy: I ALMOST LIKE YOU BEING ON A GIANT SCREEN. >> I -- THIS IS MUCH BETTER. 256 00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:26,593 IF I WAS THERE I WOULD ASK IF I COULD TOUCH MACHINE GUN KELLY'S PANTS, THOUGH. 257 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:29,029 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU WOULD WANT TO 258 00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:32,098 TOUCH IT - >> THEY LOOK COOL. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S A ROCK 259 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,367 STAR HEY, I - >> YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR NAME 260 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,871 BACK FROM MACHINE GUN. YOUR NAME'S MACHINE GUN. >> Jimmy: NO 261 00:20:37,871 --> 00:20:40,373 >> LEAVE IT MACHINE GUN! >> Jimmy: NO, NO HE GOES BACK 262 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:44,544 HE GOES BACK AND FORTH, MAN. DID YOU EVER HAVE A NICKNAME OR TRY TO HAVE A NICKNAME? 263 00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,380 >> NO. AND IF I HAD ONE AS COOL AS MACHINE GUN, I WOULD STICK WITH 264 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,982 IT IF YOU EVER KNEW ME AS MACHINE GUN ROGEN, THAT'S ALL 265 00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:53,820 YOU WOULD EVER KNOW ME AS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SAY HAPPY 266 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,657 HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE ARE YOU -- I KNOW IN CANADA YOU 267 00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:01,261 CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING EARLIER THAN WE CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING IS THAT OCTOBER? 268 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:06,166 AM I WAY LATE? >> THEY -- THEY DO I DIDN'T CELEBRATE IT GROWING 269 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:12,739 UP, HONESTLY AND IT'S BECAUSE MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT JEWISH 270 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:18,511 PEOPLE DID NOT CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING IN CANADA SOMETHING THAT I LATER FOUND TO 271 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:23,983 BE NOT TRUE AT ALL [ LAUGHTER ] IT WAS A LIE THEY TOLD US, 272 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:27,153 BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GO THROUGH, LIKE, THE HASSLE OF DOING THANKSGIVING 273 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:32,292 AND SO THEY FABRICATED THAT JEWS DIDN'T DO THAT. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD 274 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,494 >> I DON'T KNOW WHY, IN MY HEAD >> Jimmy: OF COURSE, YOU HAD TO 275 00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:36,329 BELIEVE THEM AND JUST GO, "YEAH, YEAH OF COURSE NOT. 276 00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:39,966 BUT, WOW WHAT A LIE >> IT SEEMED LEGIT 277 00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,601 YOU KNOW, JEWS DEPRIVE THEMSELVES OF A LOT OF GREAT THINGS 278 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,436 [ LAUGHTER ] WE DON'T EAT BACON IT ADDED UP. 279 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:50,010 IF WE'RE NOT EATING BACON, ANY -- ALL BETS ARE OFF. WHO KNOWS WHAT WE'RE NOT DOING 280 00:21:50,010 --> 00:21:53,179 SO -- YEAH BUT, NOW THEY DO IT. IT'S FUNNY, NOW THAT I HAVE 281 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:55,915 NEPHEWS, THEY DO IT. >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS 282 00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,817 'CAUSE A FEW WEEKS AGO, I WAS WATCHING, EVERYONE WATCHING, THE BIG ADELE CONCERT -- THAT 283 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,688 WAS THIS BIG CONCERT SPECIAL THE BIG SPECTACLE. AND WHO DO I SEE IN THE 284 00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:06,826 AUDIENCE SETH ROGEN >> YEAH, I WAS THERE 285 00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:12,565 I WAS IN THE FRONT ROW OF THE ADELE CONCERT. AND -- AND THAT IS AS 286 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:15,602 SURPRISING TO ME AS ANYONE BECAUSE I HAD NO IDEA I WAS ATTENDING THE TAPING OF AN 287 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:25,311 ADELE TELEVISION SPECIAL AT ALL. I -- WE GOT THE -- I GOT AN 288 00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:26,946 INVITATION TO -- "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A SMALL ADELE CONCERT," IS WHAT I REMEMBER 289 00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,415 ABSORBING. AND I GO TO MY WIFE LORI, "YOU WANT TO GO TO THIS SMALL ADELE 290 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:36,790 CONCERT? GREAT, SOUNDS FUN. IT'S AT GRIFFON PARK, THAT 291 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:41,928 SOUNDS COOL. SO, IF I'M BEING HONEST, I HATE TO BURST EVERYONE'S -- I SMOKE 292 00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:46,833 WEED, JIMMY. AND ME AND MY WIFE - >> Jimmy: BREAKING NEWS. 293 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:50,003 BREAKING NEWS HERE >> I KNOW. IT'S TOUGH 294 00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:52,872 BUT, YOU'LL HAVE TO RECONCILE THAT BUT WE -- SO WE WERE LIKE, 295 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:56,910 "IT'S AN ADELE CONCERT IT'S IN THE PARK." WE SMOKED A TON OF WEED. 296 00:22:56,910 --> 00:22:58,578 AND WE'RE LIKE WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO AND ENJOY THIS LOVELY ADELE CONCERT. 297 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,847 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> WE PULL UP AND WE SEE CRANES - 298 00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:10,557 CAMERA CRANES. THERE'S DRONES FLYING AROUND THERE'S AN ENTIRE CREW THERE 299 00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:13,526 AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO, WE ARE AT THE FILMING OF A A TELEVISION SPECIAL, I THINK. 300 00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:18,565 WE'RE ON A TELEVISION SHOW." AND I'M LIKE, "MAYBE IT'S NOT THAT BIG A TELEVISION SPECIAL. 301 00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:22,802 AND THEN THE FIRST PERSON I SEE IS OPRAH WINFREY AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO. 302 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:25,071 I THINK IT'S A BIG TELEVISION SPECIAL. >> Jimmy: OH YEAH. 303 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,073 >> AND THEN ME AND MY WIFE WERE LIKE, OKAY MAYBE JUST KIND OF LIKE SLINK 304 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:29,275 INTO THE BACKGROUND. YOU KNOW LIKE WE'LL JUST SIT IN THE 305 00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:33,747 BACK IT'S FINE. WE'RE -- YOU KNOW, WE ARE NOT 306 00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:37,684 EQUIPPED MENTALLY TO DEAL WITH DOING THIS RIGHT NOW, REALLY AND SO WE GO UP TO THE DESK, 307 00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:43,690 THEY GIVE US OUR TICKETS AND OUR SEAT NUMBERS LITERALLY ARE 1A AND 1B. 308 00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:46,526 [ LAUGHTER ] AND I'M LIKE, "OH, NO! >> Jimmy: IT DOESN'T GET 309 00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:49,162 BIGGER >> THAT SOUNDS CLOSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT -- THAT 310 00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:54,634 SOUNDS REAL CLOSE. >> SO I -- WE GO TO 1A AND 1B AND WE'RE IN THE FRONT ROW 311 00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:58,004 WE'RE IN FRONT ROW CENTER. WE'RE AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN FATHOMABLY BE. 312 00:23:58,004 --> 00:24:02,042 I SIT DOWN THERE'S LIKE A CAMERA LITERALLY JUST POINTED AT MY FACE. 313 00:24:02,042 --> 00:24:09,482 >> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW ADELE? >> I'VE NEVER MET -- NO! I DON'T KNOW ADELE 314 00:24:09,482 --> 00:24:14,054 AND IF ADEL, YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, WHY DID THAT -- WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 315 00:24:14,054 --> 00:24:15,955 AND THERE WAS -- BECAUSE THE WHOLE TIME I'M LIKE, "THERE'S SO MANY MORE FAMOUS PEOPLE THAN 316 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:20,226 ME HERE WHO SHOULD BE SITTING WHERE I'M SITTING. AND I COULD JUST, LIKE, FEEL 317 00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:26,966 THEM BE INSULTED THAT I HAD SUCH A GOOD SEAT LIKE, I WAS IN FRONT OF DRAKE. 318 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:32,772 LIKE, THERE'S NO WORLD WHERE I SHOULD BE IN FRONT OF DRAKE. WHAT -- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE 319 00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:34,607 AND I COULD JUST FEEL LIKE DRAKE'S EYES, LIKE DRILLING INTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD LIKE, 320 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:40,947 "WHY AM I IN 3R AND HE'S IN 1A?" LIKE I WAS SIX ROWS IN FRONT OF 321 00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:45,785 LIKE ELLEN DEGENERES AND KRIS JENNER. LIKE, I TRULY HAVE NO IDEA WHY 322 00:24:45,785 --> 00:24:52,392 THEY DID THAT. IT WAS TRULY WILD! >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN 323 00:24:52,392 --> 00:24:55,729 YOU'RE ON, WHEN THE CAMERA TURNS ON TO YOU? WHAT DO YOU DO AT AN ADELE 324 00:24:55,729 --> 00:25:00,033 CONCERT? DID YOU CLAP OR SING ALONG OR - 325 00:25:00,033 --> 00:25:01,835 >> YOU TRY TO LOOK -- I DON'T KNOW I TRIED TO WHOLE TIME, JUST 326 00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:04,571 TRIED TO LOOK COOL WHICH IS NOT A HEALTHY THOUGHT TO HAVE. 327 00:25:04,571 --> 00:25:10,477 AND FOR ME AT AN ADELE - IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO LOOK COOL BECAUSE I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. 328 00:25:10,477 --> 00:25:15,615 I'M TOO CLOSE. I FEEL LIKE LEONARDO DiCAPRIO BEHIND ME THINKING LIKE, "DID 329 00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:19,652 SETH ROGEN WRITE 'ROLLING IN THE DEEP?' IS THAT WHY HE'S SO CLOSE? 330 00:25:19,652 --> 00:25:23,156 LIKE, I CAN JUST -- I FEEL OUT OF PLACE AND SO I TRY TO JUST -- IT 331 00:25:23,156 --> 00:25:26,359 LOOKED LIKE I VERY ACTIVELY TRIED TO LOOK LIKE I'M ENJOYING THIS ADELE CONCERT, WHICH I 332 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:35,735 WAS. BUT I WAS VERY DISTRACTED BY THE FACT THAT I WAS ON CAMERA. 333 00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:38,705 SO, I WAS PLAYING THE ROLE OF JUST AN UNDISTRACTED, NORMAL COOL GUY TRYING TO ENJOY AN 334 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:44,210 ADELE CONCERT. >> Jimmy: WELL, WEIRDLY ENOUGH I PUT TOGETHER A QUICK LITTLE 335 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:47,547 MONTAGE OF YOU ENJOYING THE ADELE CONCERT. >> OH, NO. 336 00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:50,417 I'M -- >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SETH ROGEN 337 00:25:50,417 --> 00:25:50,450 >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SETH ROGEN 338 00:25:52,185 --> 00:26:01,528 [ LAUGHTER ] >> IT WAS LIVE 339 00:26:01,528 --> 00:26:05,699 A LOT OF STANDING. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> EVERY TIME, I WAS JUST LIKE, 340 00:26:05,699 --> 00:26:07,434 "ARE WE STANDING AFTER EVERY SONG?" THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF THOSE 341 00:26:07,434 --> 00:26:10,270 THINGS LIKE, WE'RE STANDING EVERY TIME 342 00:26:10,270 --> 00:26:13,573 EVERY SONG BUT -- >> Jimmy: DUDE, THAT'S 343 00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,542 FANTASTIC. >> BUT EVERYONE I KNOW WATCHED IT 344 00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:18,144 IT WAS -- I THINK IT'S THE MOST POPULAR THING I'VE EVER BEEN IN 345 00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:22,849 IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. LIKE, I HAVE -- THERE'S PEOPLE I KNOW WHO HAVE NOT WATCHED MY 346 00:26:22,849 --> 00:26:24,584 LAST FIVE MOVIES WHO HAVE BEEN TEXTING ME, BEING LIKE, "YOU WERE MADE AT THAT ADELE 347 00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:28,321 CONCERT. IT LOOKED INCREDIBLE." THAT'S WILD. 348 00:26:28,321 --> 00:26:31,491 >> Jimmy: YOU ACTUALLY -- YOU GOT GREAT REVIEWS. GOOD 349 00:26:31,491 --> 00:26:34,060 I'M GLAD >> VERY GOOD, RAVE REVIEWS >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU 350 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:38,498 ALSO, BUT I HEARD, IT'S NOT A RUMOR. I GUESS YOU ACTUALLY ARE THE 351 00:26:38,498 --> 00:26:45,372 VOICE OF DONKEY KONG IN THE NEW "SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 352 00:26:45,372 --> 00:26:47,774 THAT -- I THINK THAT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE, TO ANYONE WHO PLAYS VIDEO -- I LOVED 353 00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:52,145 "DONKEY KONG." I MEAN, IT'S LEGENDARY >> I LOVE "DONKEY KONG." 354 00:26:52,145 --> 00:26:57,384 YEAH, AND I THINK -- YEAH, IT WAS AN -- IT WAS NOT AN EXPECTED CALL TO GET. 355 00:26:57,384 --> 00:26:59,285 I NEVER -- AS I WAS PLAYING "DONKEY KONG" AS A CHILD, I NEVER PROJECTED MYSELF ON TO 356 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:06,026 THAT CHARACTER NECESSARILY BUT -- NO, IT'S A THRILL MY MOM IS VERY PROUD OF ME 357 00:27:06,026 --> 00:27:08,461 EVERYONE'S VERY PROUD OF ME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO -- YOUR MOM, BY 358 00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:11,064 THE WAY, WHO I FOLLOW ON TWITTER. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S WEIRD 359 00:27:11,064 --> 00:27:14,334 THAT I FOLLOW YOUR MOM ON TWITTER, BUT - >> NOT AT ALL. 360 00:27:14,334 --> 00:27:16,836 >> Jimmy: SHE MAKES ME LAUGH YOUR PARENTS HAVE BEEN TO THE SHOW MANY TIMES. 361 00:27:16,836 --> 00:27:20,340 TELL HER I SAID HELLO. SHE SENT OUT THIS TWEET THAT MADE ME LAUGH. 362 00:27:20,340 --> 00:27:23,476 SHE SAID, "MY SON IS DONKEY KONG. DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY 363 00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:31,618 ABOUT THAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ] 364 00:27:31,618 --> 00:27:36,423 SHE'S GOT GREAT DELIVERY, MAN. SHE WRITES GOOD JOKES! SHE WRITES GOOD JOKES. 365 00:27:36,423 --> 00:27:40,093 >> IT IS FUNNY >> Jimmy: IT IS FUNNY. >> THAT'S THE TYPE OF SUPPORT 366 00:27:40,093 --> 00:27:43,963 AND ENCOURAGEMENT I GET AT HOME - >> Jimmy: YEAH 367 00:27:43,963 --> 00:27:45,932 >> FOR MY CAREER >> Jimmy: THEY REMIND YOU WHO YOU ARE. 368 00:27:45,932 --> 00:27:47,467 ISN'T THAT GREAT I LOVE MOM I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT 369 00:27:47,467 --> 00:27:49,669 YOUR FUNNY NEW ANIMATED SERIES "SANTA INC." WHEN WE COME BACK MORE WITH SETH ROGEN, LADIES 370 00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:51,604 AND GENTLEMEN. COME ON BACK FOR MORE "TONIGHT SHOW." 371 00:27:51,604 --> 00:28:09,389 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *1, 2, 3...yay! >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 372 00:28:09,389 --> 00:28:11,558 EVERYBODY. WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH SETH ROGEN 373 00:28:11,558 --> 00:28:15,061 SETH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU 374 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:19,632 >> I'LL TAKE MACHINE GUN IF HE DOESN'T WANT IT. >> Jimmy: MACHINE GUN ROGEN 375 00:28:19,632 --> 00:28:21,835 RIGHT HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. SETH "MACHINE GUN" ROGEN 376 00:28:21,835 --> 00:28:26,039 [ APPLAUSE ] NOW I WONDER - FIRST OF ALL, THANKS AGAIN FOR 377 00:28:26,039 --> 00:28:30,377 TELLING THAT ADELE STORY THAT JUST MADE ME LAUGH. I'M STILL LAUGHING AT. 378 00:28:30,377 --> 00:28:32,712 EVERYTIME YOU COME ON. BUT NOW I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU HAVE A NEW ANIMATED COMEDY 379 00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:38,218 SERIES CALLED "SANTA INC." YOU PLAY SANTA CLAUS >> YES, I DO, WHICH EVERY 380 00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:43,923 JEWISH BOY'S DREAM WOULD BE I THINK IN GENERAL >> Jimmy: WOW! 381 00:28:43,923 --> 00:28:50,597 CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT "SANTA INC." IS ABOUT >> YEAH. 382 00:28:50,597 --> 00:28:57,704 I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT THE NORTH POLE AND IT'S RUN LIKE A GIANT CORPORATION. 383 00:28:57,704 --> 00:29:03,877 AND SANTA'S LIKE THE CEO, AND HE MAKES ALL THE DECISIONS KIND OF RUNNED LIKE AMAZON, I 384 00:29:03,877 --> 00:29:09,182 GUESS. I PLAY SANTA AND I'M GOING TO BE RETIRING SOON 385 00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:12,752 AND JEFF BEZOS IS ACTUALLY JUST POACHED MY, MY NEXT CHOICE SUCCESSOR, WHO TIM MEADOWS 386 00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:15,522 ACTUALLY PLAYS AND I NEED A NEW SUCCESSOR, AND SARAH SILVERMAN PLAYS MY HEAD 387 00:29:15,522 --> 00:29:17,457 ELF AND THER'S NEVER BEEN A FEMALE SANTA CLAUS BEFORE, QUITE OBVIOUSLY. 388 00:29:17,457 --> 00:29:28,501 AND SHE WANTS TO BE MY SUCCESSOR, AND TO BE THE FIRST FEMALE SANTA CLAUS 389 00:29:28,501 --> 00:29:34,841 SO IT'S A LOT LIKE "SUCCESSION" WITH ELVES [ LAUGHTER ] 390 00:29:34,841 --> 00:29:37,143 >> Jimmy: "SUCCESSION" WITH ELVES? >> THAT'S HOW WE SOLD IT 391 00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:41,848 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT 392 00:29:41,848 --> 00:29:45,452 I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S SETH ROGEN AND SARAH SILVERMAN IN "SANTA INC. 393 00:29:45,452 --> 00:29:46,419 SARAH SILVERMAN IN "SANTA INC. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 394 00:29:47,454 --> 00:29:48,054 >> I WANT TO BE THE NEXT 395 00:29:48,054 --> 00:29:55,528 SUCCESSOR AND THE FIRST FEMALE SANTA CLAUS IN HISTORY * THE FIRST 396 00:29:55,528 --> 00:30:01,301 ELFISH-SANTA * >> ME, CANDY - >> SMALLS. 397 00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:11,578 >> YES, PROGRESS * CANDY WANTS IT REAL REAL BAD * 398 00:30:11,578 --> 00:30:14,981 >> I'M THE MOST PROGRESSIVE SANTA IN HISTORY I'M A REAL CHANGE AGENT. 399 00:30:14,981 --> 00:30:19,686 I'M AN ALLY, WHICH I CAN'T LABEL MYSELF AS BUT I'VE BEEN LABELLED THAT BY OTHERS. 400 00:30:19,686 --> 00:30:23,823 AND BRENT, THE FIRST BLACK SUCCESSOR, WAS A HUGE PART OF MY LEGACY. 401 00:30:23,823 --> 00:30:30,563 BUT MAYBE, IT'S TIME TO MAKE HISTORY AGAIN. I NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT, BUT 402 00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:32,032 THIS COULD BE REALLY [ BLEEP ] AWESOME. >> OKAY. 403 00:30:32,032 --> 00:30:34,334 VERY COOL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT 404 00:30:34,334 --> 00:30:37,604 SETH ROGEN "SANTA INC." BEGINS STREAMING TOMORROW ON HBO MAX. 405 00:30:37,604 --> 00:30:42,509 CHECK IT OUT WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE TALKING TO COLSON BAKER, AKA, 406 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:46,780 MACHINE GUN KELLY. THANK YOU, SETH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 407 00:30:46,780 --> 00:31:04,864 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A MULTI-PLATINUM SELLING ARTIST 408 00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:06,499 AND A TALENTED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "THE LAST SON," WHICH IS IN SELECT 409 00:31:06,499 --> 00:31:15,575 THEATERS DECEMBER 10th PLEASE WELCOME COLSON BAKER, AKA, MACHINE GUN KELLY 410 00:31:15,575 --> 00:31:27,787 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 411 00:31:29,756 --> 00:31:34,260 THE NAME ACTUALLY IS - IT IS WEIRD NOT HEARING MACHINE GUN KELLY. 412 00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:36,262 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IS IT ODD NOW BECAUSE YOU'VE BECOME SO FAMOUS AS MACHINE GUN THAT YOU'RE NOT 413 00:31:36,262 --> 00:31:41,267 COLSON ANYMORE OR - >> I WAS NEVER -- I HAVEN'T 414 00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:43,503 BEEN COLSON SINCE I WAS 15 SINCE I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, I WAS LIKE, "I'M MACHINE GUN KELLY." 415 00:31:43,503 --> 00:31:48,108 >> Jimmy: YEAH BUT COLSON IS JUST BETTER FOR WHEN YOU'RE IN MOVIES? 416 00:31:48,108 --> 00:31:50,443 >> YOU KNOW, NICKELODEON AND DISNEY DON'T LIKE MACHINE GUN. >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT MAKES 417 00:31:50,443 --> 00:31:53,847 SENSE. THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME IN THE 418 00:31:53,847 --> 00:31:56,149 CHAIR. I'M SO HAPPY YOU'VE BEEN HERE AND PERFORMED 419 00:31:56,149 --> 00:31:58,218 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY, I LOVED YOUR - 420 00:31:58,218 --> 00:32:00,186 I LOVE YOUR NEW ALBUM. >> THANK YOU THANK YOU. 421 00:32:00,186 --> 00:32:05,058 >> Jimmy: IT'S FANTASTIC CONGRATULATIONS ON IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 422 00:32:05,058 --> 00:32:06,793 >> Jimmy: BUT I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE AND SITTING IN THE CHAIR AND I GET 423 00:32:06,793 --> 00:32:10,230 TALK TO YOU. BECAUSE -- MAN, YOU'RE REALLY FUN TO TALK TO 424 00:32:10,230 --> 00:32:14,734 >> THANKS. >> Jimmy: TALKINKING TO ME BACKSTAGE, I MEAN, WE HAVE - 425 00:32:14,734 --> 00:32:17,303 >> I WHISPERED SOMETHING TO YOU ONE TIME WHEN I PERFORMED HERE I WAS, LIKE, "DUDE, LOVE THAT 426 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:21,641 SONG 'SNOWBALL FIGHT'. >> Jimmy: I MEAN - >> WHICH WAS -- JIMMY HAD AN 427 00:32:21,641 --> 00:32:25,745 ALBUM I LISTENED TO A LOT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS - 428 00:32:25,745 --> 00:32:27,714 >> Jimmy: I PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN -- BELIEVE THAT YOU SAID THAT TO ME 429 00:32:27,714 --> 00:32:29,482 >> YEAH -- IF YOU REPLAY IT BACK, YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE ME JUST SLIP IT TO YOU AND WALK 430 00:32:29,482 --> 00:32:32,318 AWAY BUT I WAS JUST LIKE, "DUDE, I LOVE THAT. 431 00:32:32,318 --> 00:32:34,721 >> Jimmy: "SNOWBALL FIGHT," I MEAN, THAT WAS LIKE ON OF MY FIRST -- 432 00:32:34,721 --> 00:32:37,557 * SNOWBALL SNOWBALL SNOWBALL FIGHT * [ LAUGHTER ] 433 00:32:37,557 --> 00:32:39,959 >> Jimmy: YEAH, PLEASE, IT'S CLASSIC. BUT I HAVE NO -- 434 00:32:39,959 --> 00:32:42,829 REALLY, EVERYONE LOVES THAT. PLEASE DON'T - PLEASE SIT DOWN. 435 00:32:42,829 --> 00:32:47,734 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WE'LL ADD APPLAUSE LATER IN POST. 436 00:32:47,734 --> 00:32:50,470 >> Jimmy: YOU DO HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, I WILL SAY PETE DAVIDSON WAS ON OUR SHOW 437 00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:54,841 RECENTLY AND WE TALKED ABOUT YOU GUYS GETTING TOGETHER AND YOU FELL 438 00:32:54,841 --> 00:32:58,545 OFF THE STAGE TOGETHER AT GOODNIGHTS AT "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." 439 00:32:58,545 --> 00:33:00,947 >> IF YOU SHOW THAT CLIP, I'M GOING -- >> Jimmy: I WOULD NEVER. 440 00:33:00,947 --> 00:33:06,519 CAN WE SHOW IT [ DRUM ROLL THERE YOU GO, WATCH THIS 441 00:33:06,519 --> 00:33:08,388 >> OH, GOD OH NO! [ APPLAUSE ] 442 00:33:08,388 --> 00:33:10,890 >> Jimmy: SO I - [ SAD TUBA ] -- GO TO PETE - 443 00:33:10,890 --> 00:33:15,295 [ LAUGHTER ] SO I GO TO PETE, I GO, "WHAT HAPPENED 444 00:33:15,295 --> 00:33:18,898 WHAT WAS THAT THING? WHAT HAPPENED WITH MACHINE GUN? 445 00:33:18,898 --> 00:33:23,269 AND HE GOES, "HE HAD A BRUISED COCCYX." AND I GO, "WHAT? 446 00:33:23,269 --> 00:33:26,206 HE GOES, "HE BRUISED HIS COCCYX." >> IT WAS BAD. 447 00:33:26,206 --> 00:33:33,213 >> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU BRUISE -- HOW DID YOU GO ABOUT BRUISING YOUR COCCYX? 448 00:33:33,213 --> 00:33:34,614 >> I WAS -- I HAD A MATCH WITH POST MALONE IN A BEER PONG GAME 449 00:33:34,614 --> 00:33:39,886 AND -- >> Jimmy: AS ONE DOES, YEAH. OKAY 450 00:33:39,886 --> 00:33:43,289 I'VE PLAYED BEER PONG AGAINST POST MALONE. >> AND YOU KNOW -- YOU KNOW 451 00:33:43,289 --> 00:33:44,691 WHEN YOU GET THE CUP AND YOU START DRINKING >> Jimmy: OR COURSE. 452 00:33:44,691 --> 00:33:48,094 >> SO, I -- WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO THE GAME AND I STARTED DRINKING 453 00:33:48,094 --> 00:33:49,929 AND SO THEY FILMED ON THE WAY OUT, THEY DID LIKE A ROCKY, LIKE, BOXING MATCH, LIKE, YOU 454 00:33:49,929 --> 00:33:53,867 KNOW, FILM ON THE WAY OUT. AND I, LIKE COULDN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE OF THE CAMERA 455 00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:56,803 SO, I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT EVERY FIVE STEPS, I GOT TO DO SOMETHING COOL." 456 00:33:56,803 --> 00:34:00,874 CAUSE IT'S LIKE 500 STEPS. I DON'T WANT TO JUST WAL >> Jimmy: YEP. 457 00:34:00,874 --> 00:34:03,276 >> Jimmy: EXACTLY. >> SO, I WAS LIKE, "I GOT TO DO SOMETHING. 458 00:34:03,276 --> 00:34:05,045 SO, EVERY FIVE STEPS, I'D BE LIKE - AND THEN, THERE WAS A STAIRCASE 459 00:34:05,045 --> 00:34:08,148 RAIL AND I WAS, LIKE, "YEAH, GREAT. SO I'D HIT THE STAIRCASE RAIL 460 00:34:08,148 --> 00:34:12,552 AND I RODE IT DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF IT I DIDN'T SEE A GIANT SPIKE AND IT 461 00:34:12,552 --> 00:34:20,126 JUST - >> Jimmy: BRUISED YOUR COCCYX. >> AND THEN, THIS WAS ALSO, 462 00:34:20,126 --> 00:34:23,263 LIKE, RIGHT WHEN I STARTING -- STARTING TO DATE, YOU KNOW, MEGAN, AND I - 463 00:34:23,263 --> 00:34:28,968 I WAS HOLDING IT TOGETHER. IT WAS JUST -- IT WAS A BAD NIGHT. 464 00:34:28,968 --> 00:34:31,805 LIKE, THE WHOLE -- I WON THE PING-PONG MATCH. I WENT HOME. 465 00:34:31,805 --> 00:34:35,842 I WAS LIKE -- I HAD THIS - TRAVIS GOT ME THIS -- HE GOT ME A KNIFE THAT WAS -- THAT HAD AN 466 00:34:35,842 --> 00:34:39,979 ENGRAVEMENT FROM THE NEW ALBUM ON IT. AND I WAS LIKE, "CHECK THIS 467 00:34:39,979 --> 00:34:42,515 OUT/ THIS IS SICK." AND I THREW IT UP AND IT CAME 468 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:45,085 DOWN AND STUCK IN MY HAND. YOU SEE THAT RIGHT HERE? >> Jimmy: I DO SEE THAT. 469 00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:47,087 >> YEAH, THAT WAS FROM WHEN A KNIFE STUCK IN MY -- CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW YOU THROW IT 470 00:34:47,087 --> 00:34:49,489 UP AND YOUR SUPPOSED TO CATCH IT I LOOKED AT HER AND I WAS LIKE, 471 00:34:49,489 --> 00:34:54,627 "CHECK THIS OUT. AND I WAS, LIKE -- >> Jimmy: SHE'S LIKE - 472 00:34:54,627 --> 00:34:56,396 SHE'S LIKE, "YOU WERE THE COOLEST DUDE I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE! 473 00:34:56,396 --> 00:34:58,565 KISS ME! WOW! >> AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING, 474 00:34:58,565 --> 00:35:00,233 AS SOON AS SHE LEFT I WAS, LIKE - "YO, I NEED STITCHES REAL 475 00:35:00,233 --> 00:35:04,037 QUICK. >> Jimmy: YEAH, LIKE, "DUDE, I HAVE A BRUISED COCCYX OVER HERE 476 00:35:04,037 --> 00:35:07,440 AND A KNIFE IN MY HAND." >> GOT A BRUISED COCCYX AND A KNIFE IN MY HAND 477 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,810 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOVIE THIS IS "THE LAST SON. 478 00:35:10,810 --> 00:35:17,550 >> YES, SO IT'S -- IT'S ALMOST - TO ME, I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO 479 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:19,686 SPEAK FOR THE DIRECTOR HE MIGHT BE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 480 00:35:19,686 --> 00:35:21,354 BUT, TO ME, IT WAS ALMOST LIKE CRONOS, LIKE, THE GREEK MYTHOLOGY OF THE FATHER WHO 481 00:35:21,354 --> 00:35:29,062 EATS HIS SONS WHO THEY - HE'S TOLD ONE OF HIS SONS IS GOING TO OVERTHROW HIM 482 00:35:29,062 --> 00:35:32,799 SO HE EATS ALL OF HIS KIDS SO THAT THEY CAN'T OVERTHROW HIM. AND IT'S THE SAME THING IN THIS 483 00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:36,970 ONE. LIKE, SAM WORTHINGTON IS THE FATHER 484 00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:39,372 HE GETS A CURSE WHERE IT'S SAID THAT ONE OF HIS KIN IS GOING TO KILL HIM 485 00:35:39,372 --> 00:35:43,109 SO HE GOES AND HE KILLS ALL OF HIS KIDS AND I'M THE LAST ONE THAT HE 486 00:35:43,109 --> 00:35:44,944 HAS TO KILL. AND YOU GOT TO FIND -- YOU GOT TO WATCH THE MOVIE TO FIND OUT 487 00:35:44,944 --> 00:35:49,849 IF - >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHAT HAPPENS THE "THE LAST SON" RIGHT HERE. 488 00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:53,086 I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S A COLSON BAKER IN "THE LAST SON." 489 00:35:53,086 --> 00:35:54,854 LAST SON." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 490 00:36:01,695 --> 00:36:04,831 YOU GOT A NICE PLACE HERE. 491 00:36:04,831 --> 00:36:18,845 AH, CHIN UP, MAN YOU LOOK GOOD. THAT'S NICE. 492 00:36:18,845 --> 00:36:24,617 MA'AM. TAKE A KNEEL FOR ME, SIR [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 493 00:36:24,617 --> 00:36:30,523 >> Jimmy: OH, I'M INTO THAT. COLSON BAKER, AKA, MACHINE GUN KELLY, EVERYBODY 494 00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:35,762 "THE LAST SON" IS IN SELECT THEATERS DECEMBER 10th WILL YOU PLEASE COME BACK. 495 00:36:35,762 --> 00:36:39,065 WHENEVER YOU'D LIKE, PLEASE COME BACK TO THE SHOW. I THINK YOU'RE REALLY FUN. 496 00:36:39,065 --> 00:36:41,468 >> OKAY. I'LL JUST STAY HERE. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, PERFECT, 497 00:36:41,468 --> 00:36:42,936 YEAH WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM MACKLEMORE 498 00:36:42,936 --> 00:36:47,240 FEATURING WINDSER. STICK AROUND COME ON BACK 499 00:36:47,240 --> 00:37:06,359 * >> JIMMY: PERFORMING "NEXT YEAR" FROM PIKE PLACE MARKET IN 500 00:37:06,359 --> 00:37:10,263 SEATTLE, HERE'S MACKLEMORE FEATURING WINDSER! 501 00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:18,605 * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS YEA 502 00:37:18,605 --> 00:37:22,876 NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS 'CAUSE * * NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN WITH 503 00:37:22,876 --> 00:37:27,347 A FRESH KISS AND NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTE THAN THIS YEAR * 504 00:37:27,347 --> 00:37:31,618 * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS YEA NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE 505 00:37:31,618 --> 00:37:35,889 BETTER THAN THIS CAUSE * * NEW YEAR'S EVE COMI WITH A FRESH KISS AN 506 00:37:35,889 --> 00:37:39,259 NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS * * NEXT YEAR'S MY COME U 507 00:37:39,259 --> 00:37:44,831 I'VE BEEN LACKIN BUT I CAN FEEL THAT IT'S THE ONE ALL THE LAST 365 ONE SUCKED * 508 00:37:44,831 --> 00:37:48,668 * LIKE GOD GROUP TEXTED THE WORLD AND DUMPED U BAH BAH BAH YOU BETTER 509 00:37:48,668 --> 00:37:52,605 WATCH MY BOUNCE BACK * * I'MA BE THE MAN IN HERE GLASS TO THE SKY LIKE WE 510 00:37:52,605 --> 00:37:56,209 TRYNA GRAB THE CHANDELIE I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS * * OPPORTUNITY TOAST 511 00:37:56,209 --> 00:38:01,014 TO ME FOR BEIN EXACTLY WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE CAUSE LIFE IS GONNA * 512 00:38:01,014 --> 00:38:05,385 * DO WHAT LIFE DOES I DON'T WANNA LOOK BAC AND REGRET WHO I WAS 513 00:38:05,385 --> 00:38:09,322 LET GO OF THE EXPECTATIONS * * AND THEN FIRE ONE FORGET THE TALLY SHEET 514 00:38:09,322 --> 00:38:13,927 BEFORE ALL MY TIME'S U AND I KNOW I GOTTA * * ROLL WITH I 515 00:38:13,927 --> 00:38:18,298 I'M WELL AWARE THE UNIVERS DOESN'T OWE ME I KNOW THAT ALL OF THIS * 516 00:38:18,298 --> 00:38:23,436 * PAIN LEADS TO GROWT I THINK THAT NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THI 517 00:38:23,436 --> 00:38:28,908 I'M STILL AN OPTIMIST YEAH * * I GOT A LOT T LIVE ON TIME 518 00:38:28,908 --> 00:38:33,279 AIN'T FOOLIN THA CAUSE NEXT YEAR'S GONNA * * BE BETTER THA 519 00:38:33,279 --> 00:38:36,049 BETTER THAN GO NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS YEAR * 520 00:38:36,049 --> 00:38:40,387 * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS CAUSE NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN 521 00:38:40,387 --> 00:38:45,058 WITH A FRESH KISS AND * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS 522 00:38:45,058 --> 00:38:48,561 I'M SICK OF MISSIN OUT SICK OF THE FEAR AND DOUBT * * I'MA GET SPIRITUAL SOON 523 00:38:48,561 --> 00:38:52,599 LIVE IN THE HERE AND NOW ALONE IN MY ROOM BUT YOU GON HEAR ME * 524 00:38:52,599 --> 00:38:56,436 * LOUD AND CLEA LET'S START IT AT TH TOP OF THE YEA 525 00:38:56,436 --> 00:38:59,839 I WANT ONE LAST CIGARETTE * * ONE LAST SIP OF I ONE LAST SECRE 526 00:38:59,839 --> 00:39:04,077 ONE LAST LITTLE BI ONE LAST UPPER * * ONE LAST SEDATIVE 527 00:39:04,077 --> 00:39:08,348 ONE LAST SUPPER WITH THE DEVIL AND HIS RELATIVE AND I WAS GONNA * 528 00:39:08,348 --> 00:39:10,750 * CHANGE MY WAY I WAS JUST WAITIN FOR THAT DAY TO PULL MYSELF U 529 00:39:10,750 --> 00:39:13,153 OUT OF THAT PHASE * * RUN THAT ROUTE AN MAKE A PLA 530 00:39:13,153 --> 00:39:15,255 SO SICK OF SITTI ON THE BENCHES * * FINALLY TIME TO GET 531 00:39:15,255 --> 00:39:17,857 IN SHAPE LIVIN LIKE A SCRIMMAGE THINKIN THAT I'LL * 532 00:39:17,857 --> 00:39:21,361 * GET ANOTHER DAY NOW NO I AIN'T WAITI FOR COACH MARCHIN BAND 533 00:39:21,361 --> 00:39:25,198 I'MA THROW AND PARADE * * IN MY ZON MAN IN THE MIRRO 534 00:39:25,198 --> 00:39:28,902 FINALLY GOT ON FORGET NEXT YEAR * * THE TIME IS NOW T 535 00:39:28,902 --> 00:39:32,405 PRESS GO AND I'M GON I'M STILL AN OPTIMIST YEAH * 536 00:39:32,405 --> 00:39:37,110 * I GOT A LOT T LIVE ON TIME AIN'T FOOLIN THA 537 00:39:37,110 --> 00:39:41,481 CAUSE NEXT YEAR'S GONNA * * BE BETTER THA BETTER THAN GO 538 00:39:41,481 --> 00:39:44,317 NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN THIS YEAR * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B 539 00:39:44,317 --> 00:39:48,355 BETTER THAN THIS CAUSE NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN WITH A FRESH KISS * 540 00:39:48,355 --> 00:39:52,959 * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS NEXT YEAR'S GONNA BE 541 00:39:52,959 --> 00:39:57,097 BETTER THAN THIS YEAR * * NEXT YEAR'S GONNA B BETTER THAN THIS 542 00:39:57,097 --> 00:40:00,834 CAUSE NEW YEAR'S EVE COMIN WITH A FRESH KISS * * AND NEXT YEAR'S GONNA 543 00:40:00,834 --> 00:40:06,506 BE BETTER THAN THI LET'S GO * >> THE FISH IS FAMOUS! 544 00:40:06,506 --> 00:40:09,676 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT, BLAKE SHELTON, 545 00:40:09,676 --> 00:40:15,348 ANNA GASTEYER RACHEL DRATCH WILL BE MY GUESTS. MY THANKS TO SETH ROGEN, 546 00:40:15,348 --> 00:40:19,419 COLSON BAKER A.K.A MACHINE GUN KELLY. MACKLEMORE, WINDSER. 547 00:40:19,419 --> 00:40:24,424 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 548 00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:26,826 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 549 00:40:26,826 --> 00:40:39,973 GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *