>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - MAYA RUDOLPH
NICHOLAS BRAUN RITA MORENO. COMEDIAN DUSTY SLAY.
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1561
>> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THAT SOUNDS GREAT RIGHT THERE. WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE.
YOU MADE IT. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GUYS, PFIZER AND MODERNA BOTH SAY THAT THEY'RE ALREADY
WORKING ON VACCINES FOR THE OMICRON VARIANT. WHILE JOHNSON & JOHNSON IS
CHEERING THEM ON [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, JOHNSON & JOHNSON IS
LIKE, "GUYS, I THOUGHT WE PROMISED WE'RE NOT DOING VACCINES THIS YEAR
WHY WOULD YOU EMBARRASS ME?" [ LAUGHTER ] HOW DID THEY START WORKING ON
THIS SO FAST, TOO? IT'S LIKE WHEN A TEAM WINS THE SUPER BOWL, AND THE FIRST
COMMERCIAL IS, "BUY YOUR BUCCANEERS CHAMPIONSHIP HAT NOW!
[ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, OFFICIALS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT OMICRON WAS
PRESENT IN AMSTERDAM 11 DAYS AGO. [ AUDIENCE OOHS
TOOK A WHILE TO CATCH IT BECAUSE IN AMSTERDAM THERE IS A VERY DIFFERENT MEANING TO "A
NEW STRAIN GOING AROUND. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH
CERTAIN SECTIONS OF OUR AUDIENCE GOT THAT FASTER THAN OTHERS
YEAH, FOLLOWING THE NEWS ON THE OMICRON VARIANT, THE CDC IS NOW SAYING THAT ALL ADULTS SHOULD
GET A BOOSTER SHOT RIGHT NOW INSTAGRAM IS LIKE, "INCOMING BOOSTER SELFIES IN
THREE, TWO, ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, GUYS, TOMORROW'S
DECEMBER 1st, AND EVERYONE'S STARTING TO DECORATE FOR THE HOLIDAYS, SO THE FAA IS WARNING
PEOPLE NOT TO SHINE LASER LIGHT DISPLAYS INTO THE SKY. THE PILOTS ARE ACTUALLY FINE
WITH THE LASERS, IT'S THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CATS ON BOARD THAT GO NUTS
[ LAUGHTER ] WELL, THIS IS COOL ROOMBA UPDATED ITS LATEST
VACUUM CLEANER SO THAT THEY USE A.I. TO AVOID KNOCKING OVER CHRISTMAS TREES.
BUT DON'T WORRY, WITH THE NEW UPDATE, YOUR ROOMBAS WILL STILL INHALE THE TREE SKIRT UNTIL IT
BLOWS UP AND BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN [ LAUGHTER ]
IT WAS KIND OF WEIRD WHEN THE ROOMBA KEPT KNOCKING OVER THE CHRISTMAS TREE AND THEN GOING,
"HANUKKAH RULES. HANUKKAH RULES HANUKKAH RULES."
[ LAUGHTER ] HEY, I SAW THAT A NEW STUDY SAID THAT BABIES START TO
DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOR AFTER ONE MONTH. IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS WHEN YOUR
BABY IS LIKE, "WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH NAPS? [ LAUGHTER ]
"WHAT AM I SO TIRED FROM ALL I DID BEFORE THIS WAS SLEEP.
[ LAUGHTER ] "SOFT FOODS, WEARING DIAPERS, NAPPING BEFORE SLEEP, I'M
TURNING INTO GRANDPA." [ LAUGHTER ] I WROTE A FULL ON SEINFELD
STAND UP ACT AS A BABY, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] GET THIS
I READ THAT THIS YEAR, IN AMERICA, 210 MILLION PACKAGES HAVE ALREADY BEEN STOLEN
[ AUDIENCE OOHS YEAH, IT TURNS OUT THOSE RING DOORBELLS WERE A LOT MORE
EFFECTIVE BEFORE EVERYONE STARTED WEARING MASKS. [ LAUGHTER ]
"TWO HUMANS? I DON'T KNOW DOES THAT HELP YOU, OFFICER?
IT WASN'T A COYOTE THAT TOOK THE PACKAGE, YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
FINALLY, POLICE IN GERMANY ARE LOOKING FOR BURGLARS WHO BROKE THROUGH THE WALL OF A TOY STORE
TO STEAL DOZENS OF LEGO SETS THE STORE WAS LIKE, "MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE BUILT THAT WALL
WITH DUPLOS. [ LAUGHTER ] THE THIEVES GOT AWAY, BUT SAID
THEIR ONE REGRET WAS ROBBING THE PLACE BAREFOOT OW
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE THE GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. A LOT OF SHOW.
WE'VE GOT TO GET IT. SHE CO-HOSTS A NEW COMPETITION SHOW WITH ANDY SAMBERG CALLED
"BAKING IT," WHICH PREMIERES THIS THURSDAY ON PEACOCK MAYA RUDOLPH IS JOINING US
TONIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DON'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN
MAYA RUDOLPH PLUS, HE STARS AS COUSIN GREG IN THE HIT HBO SERIES
"SUCCESSION. NICHOLAS BRAUN IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HER IN THE NEW STEVEN SPIELBERG FILM "WEST SIDE STORY" IN THEATERS
DECEMBER 10th. RITA MORENO IS HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
A LEGEND I CAN'T WAIT AND WE'VE GOT GREAT STAND UP
FROM DUSTY SLAY. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, HEY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HEY, GUYS, FRITO-LAY AND I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
TOGETHER I'M A BIG FAN OF THEIR PRODUCTS
IN FACT, I HAVE SO MANY SNACKS AND CHIPS AT MY HOUSE THAT IF ANYONE NEEDS ANY, JUST ASK ME.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH THE KIDS LOVE THEM
FRANNY LOVES THE -- I GOT TO GET IT RIGHT FRANNY LOVES THE BLUE ONES
WINNIE LOVES THE RED ONES. THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THEM, YEAH
BUT, ANYWAYS, SO THEY ASKED ME -- THEY HAD A HOLIDAY SPOT IDEA THIS YEAR, A GIANT THING.
AND I READ IT. I SAW IT I LOVED IT
I SAID, "YEAH, I WOULD LIKE TO DO THIS. IT IS DIRECTED BY DAVE MEYERS
WHO IS AWESOME I'VE WORKED WITH HIM KNOWN HIM FOR A WHILE.
I GOT TO SING ON IT. SO I WANT TO THANK JOEL SIMON AT J.S.M. MUSIC FOR THE
PRODUCTION IT REALLY WORKED YEAH, I MEAN, WE DID A
A THREE-HOUR SESSION JUST TO GET ONE LINE OUT BUT IT WAS -- YOU'LL SEE IT.
IT'S LIKE A MOVIE, BASICALLY IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I GOT TO ACT WITH THE CGI
DOUBLE-DIPPING MONSTER, WHICH IS REALLY JUST A GUY IN A GREEN SUIT
AND I WAS ON WIRES AT ONE POINT. >> Steve: WHOA
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE I GO DOWN THE BANISTER, AND THEY WERE LIKE, "HEY, CAN YOU SLIDE DOWN THE
BANISTER." I GO, "YEAH. BUT WHEN YOU REALLY SLIDE DOWN
THE BANISTER, IT'S FAST. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN'T GET ONE WORD OUT
YOU'RE LIKE, "IT'S THE --" AND THAT'S IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE, YOU GOT TO GO DOWN. SO I GO, "I CAN'T CONTROL GRAVITY.
BUT I GOT TO PLAY TEN DIFFERENT CHARACTERS IT'S BIG
IT'S FUN THEY'RE SINGING, DANCING, MY WIFE AND KIDS ARE IN IT, TOO,
AT THE END >> Steve: AWW. >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND I JUST WANT
TO THANK EVERYONE AT FRITO-LAY WHO HELPED MAKE IT HAPPEN. IT WAS HONESTLY, TOP TO BOTTOM,
ONE OF THE BEST EXPERIENCES I'VE EVER HAD. I LOVED IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT I ALSO WANTED TO MENTION SOMETHING COOL THAT FRITO-LAY
IS DOING FOR THE HOLIDAYS. TOGETHER FRITO-LAY AND PEPSICO ARE GOING TO DONATE A TOTAL OF
$1 MILLION TO TOYS FOR TOTS. HELPING EVEN MORE FAMILIES ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * THEY'RE ALL ABOUT THE SPIRIT OF
GIVING AND SHARING JOY AND THIS SEASON YOU CAN FIND SPECIALLY MARKED HOLIDAY
PACKAGES OF FRITO-LAY PRODUCTS THAT WILL BENEFIT TOYS FOR TOTS WITH EACH PURCHASE NOW THROUGH
DECEMBER 31st. CAN YOU SEE THAT THING YEAH, SEE THAT RIGHT THERE
YEAH, HERE'S THE BAG THIS IS WHAT I'M INTO NOW. >> Steve: CHEETOS.
>> Jimmy: CHEETOS ARE MY JAM [ LAUGHTER ] CHEETOS -- I'M A DORITO --
>> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: --ANY KIND. A DORITO
>> Steve: COOL RANCH >> Jimmy: SMART FOOD YEAH
RUFFLES. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: LAYS
>> Steve: SURE >> Jimmy: WHATEVER IT IS >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: BUT, NO, RIGHT NOW >> Steve: CHEETOS. >> Jimmy: THESE ARE LIKE MAGIC
TO ME. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: SO YOU EAT ONE IT'S
LIKE MAGIC >> Jimmy: WELL, I THINK IT'S PERFECTLY DONE
IT'S PERFECTLY DUSTED WITH CHEETOS DUST >> Steve: JUST WITH CHEESE
>> Jimmy: YES, IT'S PERFECTLY -- >> Steve: DID YOU MEET
CHESTER CHEETO DURING THE COMMERCIAL >> Jimmy: I GOT TO MEET HIM.
>> Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: WHAT IS HE LIKE? >> Jimmy: HE'S CHEESY. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT ANYWAYS, I WANT TO THANK FRITO-LAY FOR DOING THIS WITH TOYS FOR TOTS, AND FOR ALSO
GIVING EVERYONE IN OUR AUDIENCE THEIR OWN BAGS OF FRITO-LAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* LET ME SEE IT. LET ME SEE 'EM RIGHT THERE SO
WE CAN GET A GOOD SHOT AT IT GIVE 'EM A GOOD SHAKE RIGHT THERE.
IT'S A SHARED EXPERIENCE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHOA
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYBODY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE
TONIGHT SHOW." WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY "MISNAME THAT SONG.
HERE WE GO
MISNAME THAT SONG *
>> Jimmy: NOW I'M GOING TO NEED SOME HELP, SO JOINING ME NOW IS THE CO-HOST OF THE NEW
COMPETITION SERIES, "BAKING IT," PREMIERING THIS THURSDAY ON PEACOCK
PLEASE WELCOME MAYA RUDOLPH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OH, MY YOU LOOK FANTASTIC THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
I APPRECIATE IT, BUD >> HEY BUDDY, HOW ARE YOU? >> Jimmy: I'M GREAT.
LET ME EXPLAIN HOW THIS GAME WORKS. OKAY, IN FRONT OF EACH OF US
ARE THE INCORRECT NAMES OF A A NUMBER OF FAMOUS SONGS OKAY
ALL THESE NAMES ARE CLOSE TO THE ACTUAL NAME OF THE SONG BUT NOT QUITE RIGHT.
SO WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN, YOU'RE GOING TO READ OUT THE MESSED UP VERSION OF THAT SONG TITLE,
THEN THE PERSON TRIES TO GUESS THE CORRECT SONG TITLE BASED ONLY ON THAT CLUE.
WE HAVE TO GUESS AS MANY AS POSSIBLE BEFORE THE TIMER RUNS OUT.
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS >> YOU'RE MAKING IT SOUND LIKE IT'S EASY.
IT'S HARD. >> Jimmy: IT'S HARD, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING
TO BE. I DON'T PLAN IT. BUT I THINK YOU'LL -- WE'LL BE
GOOD AT THIS WE'VE DONE MUSIC THINGS TOGETHER
>> CORRECT >> Jimmy: WE'RE GOOD PARTNERS. ALL RIGHT.
>> RIGHT >> Jimmy: SINCE YOU'RE THE GUEST, YOU'RE GOING TO GUESS
FIRST. YOU'RE GOING TO GET 45 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND I'M GOING TO
GIVE THE CLUES I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS READY?
WE'LL WORK AS A TEAM HERE WE GO, BUD. >> OKAY.
WHO'S FIRST? >> Jimmy: I'LL START GOING AND SEE HOW MANY WE CAN GET.
>> OKAY, GO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
READY? >> YEP >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO
OKAY A PELVIC BONES TELLS THE TRUTH >> "HIPS DON'T LIE."
>> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT THAT'S EXACTLY HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOT PARTICULARLY TAXING ON MYSELF
>> WHAT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT'S A REALLY NEW
SONG * >> Jimmy: NO, NOT -- NOT
PARTICULARLY TAXING. I'M GOING TO PASS. I'M GOING TO PASS THAT ONE
PASSING. GO I WOULD LIKE TO EXPERIENCE
RHYTHMIC MOVEMENT WITH ANOTHER HUMAN. >> "I WANNA DANCE WITH
SOMEBODY!" >> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
OH, YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. LIQUID ATOP MOVIE THEATER POPCORN.
>> WATER - >> Jimmy: NO WATER?
CLOSE. BUTTER >> YOU SAID LIQUID
>> Jimmy: BUTTER LIQUID ATOP MOVIE THEATER POPCORN.
BUTTER >> OH, I THOUGHT YOU MEANT A A TOP MOVIE THEATER CHAIN.
I SAID THE REGAL [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: REGAL.
IT IS A TOP MOVIE THEATER CHAIN. >> IT'S THE MOST PREMIER MOVIE
CHAIN IN ALL OF THE UNITED STATES. >> Jimmy: LAST TIME WE WERE ON
THE SHOW WE ALWAYS PLAY "WHAT IS THE MOST PREMIER MOVIE CHAINS?"
>> AND I CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THE REGAL. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, MAYA. WE GOT TWO THERE >> I GOT PEOPLE SOCKS -- I TOLD
YOU I'M GREAT AT THIS GAME >> Jimmy: NO, THIS IS GOOD BECAUSE TWO IS GREAT
TWO IS - AND AGAIN, WE'RE PARTNERS SO THIS IS BEATABLE
SO NOW IT'S MY TURN. WE'LL PUT ANOTHER 45 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK.
AND WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, READ THE MISNAMED SONG TITLE AND I WILL GUESS
>> OKAY. ARE YOU READY? >> Jimmy: YES.
>> PLEASANT SHAKINESS. >> Jimmy: NICE - NICE -
>> PLEASANT SHAKINESS. PLEASANT - >> Jimmy: FUN?
>> SHAKINESS >> Jimmy: HIPPY SHAKE? [ LAUGHTER ]
RATTLE "SHAKE, RATTLE, ROLL?" PASS
>> SHAKING ASS OR ANOTHER KIND OF -- DO YOU WANT ME TO PASS >> Jimmy: YEAH, PASS
>> OKAY. TEQUILA FORWARD COCKTAIL TOWN. YOU GOT THIS
>> Jimmy: OH, "MARGARITAVILLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I APPRECIATE THE POPULAR
STYLE OF MUSIC DRIVEN BY LOUD GUITAR AND VOCALS. >> Jimmy: "I LOVE ROCK 'N'
ROLL." [ LAUGHTER ] >> FEMALE JELLY.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ BUZZER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT
>> I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU TODAY ABOUT FEMALE JELLY, THAT'S IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO LET'S TALK ABOUT DIFFERENT
MOVIE THEATER CHAINS >> IT WAS "LADY MARMALADE. >> Jimmy: AH
"LADY MARMALADE. OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LOOK. WE'RE TIED
THAT MEANS WE'RE IN THE ZONE >> THAT MEANS WE'RE GOING FOR THE DEATH SEQUENCE
>> Jimmy: THIS IS THE DEATH SEQUENCE, WHAT THEY CALL -- WE CHANGED THE NAME TO CALL IT THE
FUN ROUND. [ LAUGHTER ] SO FOR THIS LAST ROUND, WE'RE
GOING TO SEE HOW MANY SONGS WE CAN NAME TOGETHER. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS
NAMING A SONG AND THEN GUESSING I WILL START US OFF BY READING
THE FIRST CLUE >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO
PONDER BARRIER >> SINK WALL >> Jimmy: SOMETHING --
>> "WONDERWALL." >> Jimmy: YES, CORRECT [ DING ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YOU ARE THE ONLY THING ON MY HOLIDAY WISH LIST.
>> Jimmy: "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU." [ DING ]
>> YES >> Jimmy: SLAP BASS ABOVE 59th STREET.
>> SLAP -- FUNK FUNK
>> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF FUNK? WHERE'S ABOVE 59th STREET? >> "UPTOWN FUNK.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I PREFER IT IN THAT
PARTICULAR MANNER. >> Jimmy: "I WANT IT THAT WAY. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT IS MAYA RUDOLPH RIGHT THERE.
WE MAKE A PRETTY GOOD TEAM STICK AROUND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE MORE WITH
MAYA RUDOLPH AFTER THE BREAK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A A FOUR-TIME EMMY WINNER WHO ALONG WITH ANDY SAMBERG COHOSTS
THE NEW COMPETITION SHOW, "BAKING IT," PREMIERING THIS THURSDAY ON PEACOCK.
HERE IS MAYA RUDOLPH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
HI, MY FRIEND. >> HI! >> Jimmy: HI THERE, PAL.
MAYA, WELCOME TO THE SHOW, BUD I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING YOU THANKS FOR COMING ON
THANKS FOR PLAYING "MISNAME THAT SONG. >> IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
I'M SORRY I'M NOT WITH YOU I MISS YOU A LOT >> Jimmy: I DO MISS YOU.
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU BEFORE I GET INTO THE INTERVIEW, BECAUSE
SINCE WE TALKED LAST, YOU WON TWO MORE EMMY AWARDS CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * LIKE THAT'S A BIG DEAL
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU >> THANKS, IT WAS A REALLY -- IT WAS A REALLY BRIGHT SPOT IN
A REALLY CRAPPY YEAR >> Jimmy: YEAH BUT NOT ONLY THAT, YOU BECAME
THE FIRST PERSON IN 20 YEARS TO WIN TWICE CONSECUTIVELY IN THE SAME CATEGORY.
>> YEAH, THAT'S NUTS I DIDN'T KNOW THAT IF I HAD HAVE KNOWN, I WOULD
HAVE TRIED TO MAKE IT A HARDER RECORD TO BEAT, BUT I'LL TAKE IT
>> Jimmy: BUT I MEAN, THIS IS TWO YEARS IN A ROW FOR "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND "BIG
MOUTH. THEY'RE BOTH -- YOU'RE AMAZING IN BOTH, BUT I THINK HOSTING
"SNL" IS -- FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW IT'S AN HONOR TO DO THAT. BUT TO WIN AN EMMY FOR THAT,
WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE COMING AS A CAST MEMBER AND BEING IN THE FAM?
>> YOU SAID IT BEST. IT'S A COMPLETE HONOR. AND IT IS A FULL -- IT FEELS
LIKE A FULL CIRCLE LIFE MOMENT, YOU KNOW, THAT PLACE MEANS SO MUCH, AND IT JUST --
LIKE NOW AS A TRUE ADULT I CAN FULLY RECOGNIZE HOW SPECIAL IT IS AND HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME
SO TO BE THERE IS JUST A GIFT AND A JOY. AND THEN IT WAS, YOU KNOW,
DURING QUARANTINE AND I GOT TO BRING MY WHOLE FAMILY, AND MY KIDS ARE FINALLY, LIKE, FULLY
INTO IT. TO THE POINT WHERE LIKE MY YOUNGEST WAS LIKE REALLY INTO
COLIN JOST BEING MUSCULAR, WHICH I WAS SORT OF THROWN BY. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT -- >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO WRITE YOU A NOTE
BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER, PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON, AND YOUR
BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL FAMILY BACKSTAGE. AND I WAS SO HAPPY AND SO --
JUST I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MORE BEAUTIFUL FAMILY THE KIDS WERE SO HAPPY AND
JOYOUS >> THEY'RE SO HAPPY. >> Jimmy: AND IT WAS A -- IT
WAS AWESOME. AND I WAS LIKE, "MAYA" - >> THAT WAS COOL
AND THAT WAS -- TO ME, LIKE THAT WAS -- THESE ARE THE MOMENTS IN LIFE THAT I
APPRECIATE THE MOST. GETTING -- GETTING A CHANCE FOR YOU TO SEE ALL THE KIDS GROWN
UP MADE ME HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING I'VE FELT IN YEARS. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT
AT THIS POINT, LIKE, THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT. >> Jimmy: WHEN DID YOU FILM
"BAKING IT"? >> THAT WAS THE END OF SUMMER THIS YEAR.
IT LOOKED LIKE WINTER, BUT IT WAS REALLY ON A VERY COLD SOUNDSTAGE
BUT IT WAS ME AND MY BUDDY ME AND OUR COLLECTIVE BUDDY ANDY SAMBERG
>> Jimmy: YEAH WE LOVE ANDY SAMBERG >> WATCHING THE NICEST PEOPLE
BAKE THINGS, AND IT'S LIKE -- AND THEN WE GOT TO BE -- WE GOT TO SPEND EVERY DAY WITH THESE
FOUR GRANDMAS WHO WERE VERY HONEST AND - >> Jimmy: THEY'RE THE JUDGES
>> YEAH, THE JUDGES WERE FOUR GRANDMAS WHO TELL YOU IF THEIR STUFF STINKS, BUT THEY TELL YOU
IN A REALLY NICE, LOVING WAY AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE TOUCHED AND MOVED.
IT WAS THE BEST! >> Jimmy: AND YOU HAD AMY POEHLER THERE.
>> YEAH. AMY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF IT
SHE WAS THE ONE THAT SAID, "PLEASE COME DO THIS IT'LL BE THE MOST FUN.
YOU KNOW, SHE DOES "MAKING IT" WITH HER BUDDY NICK, AND IT'S -- SHE SAID, "IT'S THE
MOST FUN JOB I GET TO DO IT'S A JOY." AND THEN YOU WATCH ALL THESE
TALENTED PEOPLE BAKE THINGS AND YOU JUST GET TO BE WITH YOUR FRIEND ALL DAY AND LAUGH AND GO
HOME AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE DID ALTHOUGH, WE HAD -- WE ATE --
BY THE WAY, WE DIDN'T HAVE TO EAT. WE'RE NOT EVEN JUDGES.
WE ATE BY CHOICE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT THEY MADE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHY NOT? I WOULD DO THE SAME THING. >> THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO.
I WAS LIKE, "THIS IS GREAT THIS LOOKS REALLY FUN. LIKE, I WANT TO EAT THAT
STUFF. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE OF A SUGAR HIGH IN MY LIFE.
I FELT CRAZY AND I KEPT SAYING TO ANDY, I WAS LIKE, "I NEED TO LIKE
REORGANIZE MY RECORD COLLECTION." I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO FLY
OUT OF THE STUDIO ON SUGAR I WAS HIGH I WAS HIGH
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE NOT HIGH. >> I WAS -- I WAS SUGAR HIGH >> Jimmy: WHAT TYPE OF STUFF DO
THEY BAKE? CAKES? >> OH, MY GOD.
CAKES, PIES. IT'S ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS, SO IT'S LIKE PEOPLE TALKING -- YOU
KNOW, PEOPLE INTRODUCING THEIR FAMILY TRADITIONS, THE THINGS THEY MAKE, SOME SWEET, SOME
SAVORY I WAS SHOCKED AT HOW MANY TRADITIONS PEOPLE HAVE
I REALLY NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME NEW FAMILY TRADITIONS, BECAUSE
THESE PEOPLE WERE LIKE, "OH, ON CHRISTMAS EVE, THE CHILDREN REQUEST PHEASANT PIE," AND THEN
WE'D MAKE -- I MEAN, LIKE, THEY HAD ALL THESE TRADITIONS
I WAS LIKE, "HOW DO YOU GUYS HAVE THE TIME? LIKE -- AND THEY'RE NOT ALL
PROFESSIONALS. THEY'RE JUST REALLY TALENTED HUMANS
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT, YEAH >> IT WAS FAMILIES OR FRIENDS.
IT WAS THE BEST. IT WAS THE BEST. >> Jimmy: GET YOUR FAMILIES
AROUND THE TV AND WATCH IT THIS THURSDAY ON -- I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
HERE'S MAYA RUDOLPH AND ANDY SAMBERG IN "BAKING IT."
>> IT'S HOLLOW AND THEN THE TOP LAYER IS VANILLA.
>> THAT REPRESENTS OUR FUTURE. WE -- PLANNING TO START A FAMILY TOGETHER.
WHITE ANGEL. >> WOW >> WHAT AN EXCITING TIME FOR
YOU GUYS ANDY AND I ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE PARENTS TO AMAZING CHILDREN
>> IT'S TRUE, YEAH >> AND I CAN SAFELY SAY IT HAS BEEN THE MOST POSITIVE THING
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE AND CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER
>> I WISH THAT HAVING KIDS WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME UNTIL THIS SHOW
NOW THIS IS LIKE MY REAL BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN >> YES
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: ANDY, COME ON!
MAYA RUDOLPH, EVERYBODY. "BAKING IT" PREMIERES THIS THURSDAY ON PEACOCK.
NICHOLAS BRAUN JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND
LOVE YOU, BUD! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR WHO STARS AS COUSIN GREG IN THE HBO
SERIES "SUCCESSION" WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME NICHOLAS BRAUN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> HERE WE ARE >> Jimmy: NICHOLAS, THANK YOU
FOR BEING HERE ON THE SHOW I APPRECIATE IT. >> GREAT TO BE HERE.
THIS IS SO EXCITING, MAN >> Jimmy: NO -- I AM - >> I'VE BEEN A FAN FOR SO LONG
SO, THIS IS -- THIS IS AWESOME >> Jimmy: WE'VE ACTUALLY -- WE'VE MET BEFORE ONCE.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT >> YEAH, I DO. I DO
KIND OF A WEIRD DINNER, RIGHT? KIND OF A WEIRD CREW >> Jimmy: IT WAS A LITTLE ODD,
RIGHT? >> YEAH, IT WAS A LITTLE ODD IT WAS -
>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? >> IT WAS VERY INTIMATE. IT WAS LIKE SENATOR JOHN KERRY
AND SOME LIKE BANK CEOs, GOLDMAN SACHS BANKING CEO -- >> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE MY CROWD
I ROLL WITH. >> YEAH, ME TOO. YEAH
BIG FINANCIAL KIND OF CONTINGENT >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> WE WERE ALL SOLO. IT WAS -- NOBODY HAD A PLUS ONE.
SO, IT WAS LIKE KIND OF LIKE A A MEET AND GREET - >> Jimmy: SEEMS LIKE "SQUID
GAME." [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT WAS IT?
>> I DON'T KNOW. >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT WAS ODD >> YEAH.
WE WERE AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE TABLE. AND I WAS LIKE, I GOT TO TALK
TO JIMMY BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW. 'CAUSE, DO I ASK, LIKE, YOU KNOW, GAYLE KING TO STAND UP SO
THAT I CAN MOVE HER AND SIT NEXT TO YOU? >> Jimmy: YEAH
GAYLE KING WAS THERE AS WELL >> YEAH, GAYLE - ARIANNA HUFFINGTON
WE'RE JUST GOING TO NAME DROP - WE'RE JUST GOING TO DROP NAMES
>> Jimmy: WAS J.J. WATT THERE? >> J.J. WATT WAS THERE, EXACTLY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S YOUR SMALL TALK WHAT'S YOUR GO TO WHEN WE'RE AT
THESE DINNERS? >> YOU KNOW, BANKS [ LAUGHTER ]
BANKS ARE -- >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT TRUE. >> BANKS ARE BIG, YOU KNOW
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, BUT WE WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT BANKS, WERE WE?
>> NO, NO. I GUESS -- >> Jimmy: I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT
BANKS. >> I DON'T KNOW -- YEAH. I HAVE A BANK OF AMERICA
ACCOUNT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T POINT TO
THE CROWD LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO CLAP YOU THINK THAT THEY'RE GOING TO
CLAP [ LAUGHTER ] "HEY, WELL, I DO HAVE AN ATM
CARD DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
NO BIG DEAL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> CITIBANK, BOOM!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD >> BANK OF AMERICA, YEAH
>> Jimmy: THAT IS RIDICULOUS >> BANKS ARE SICK. >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO
IT ANYWAYS, I'M GLAD YOU'RE FINALLY ON THE SHOW.
>> ME, TOO >> Jimmy: YOU LOOK SHARP, BUDDY.
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "SUCCESSION. YOU -- COUSIN GREG, JUST -- I
MEAN, HONESTLY EVERY SCENE THAT YOU'RE IN, YOU STEAL YOU DON'T HAVE TO REACT TO
THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE EMMY NOMINATION UNDER YOUR BELT
>> THAT'S REALLY NICE. THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: AND I'M SURE YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE MUCH MORE [ APPLAUSE ] DO PEOPLE TRY TO HIT YOU UP FOR
SPOILERS NOT LIKE I'M DOING THAT TONIGHT, BUT -
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. PEOPLE WANT SPOILERS >> Jimmy: YEAH, NOT ME
>> YOU'RE GOOD >> Jimmy: IF YOU FEEL LIKE TELLING ME SOMETHING
I MEAN, IS IT ABOUT BANKING OR WHATEVER WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE TELLING
ME, I'M DOWN I MEAN, WHO IS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON TRYING TO HIT YOU UP FOR
SPOILERS >> YOU KNOW, I -- BRADLEY COOPER
>> Jimmy: WHAT >> BRADLEY COOPER. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> -- IS A BIG "SUCCESSION" FAN. AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT
I WAS INVITED TO HIS HOUSE JEREMY STRONG AND HIM HAVE BECOME BUDDIES
AND SO, I WAS INVITED OVER TO WATCH SOME FOOTBALL. NOT A BIG FOOTBALL GUY, BUT I
WAS LIKE, "THIS IS AWESOME I LOVE BRADLEY COOPER. HUGE LIKE IDOL OF MINE
AND, SO I WENT OVER, AND HE HAS SO MANY THEORIES HE WAS LIKE, "WHAT -- LIKE WHEN
SHIV, LIKE, LOOKED THIS WAY, WHAT DID THAT MEAN LIKE, I THINK IT MEANT THIS OR
THAT." >> Jimmy: AND HE'S A CHARMER, BRADLEY COOPER
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> Jimmy: SO I WOULD JUST TELL HIM EVERYTHING
>> YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S -
>> Jimmy: I'D SAY, JUST, HERE'S THE ENDING, DUDE LEAVE ME ALONE, MAN.
>> TOTALLY >> Jimmy: GO GET THAT ICY STARE AWAY FROM ME, YEAH
>> HE'S SO HANDSOME. >> Jimmy: HE'S A HANDSOME DUDE YEAH
>> HE GETS REALLY CLOSE WHEN HE TALKS TO YOU TOO, RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH -- NO
[ LAUGHTER ] DOES HE GET CLOSE TO YOU HE GOT CLOSE TO YOU?
>> YEAH, YEAH. I GOT CLOSE, TOO >> Jimmy: YEAH BUT I DIDN'T --
>> WE WERE BOTH MOVING CLOSER. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: QUESTLOVE SAID
THAT -- QUESTLOVE HAS A THEORY, HE SAID "I'M CALLING IT NOW. COUSIN GREG IS OPPS.
IT'S A STING ALL ALONG." HE THINKS THAT YOU'RE AN AGENT >> LIKE A NARC
>> Questlove: OH, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> LIKE AN INSIDE MAN?
>> Questlove: ABSOLUTELY >> FOR THE GOVERNMENT? >> Questlove: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO >> COULD BE RIGHT.
[ APPLAUSE ] COULD BE RIGHT COULD BE RIGHT
>> Jimmy: THAT COULD BE RIGHT? >> THAT COULD BE IT COULD BE.
>> Questlove: I KNOW I'M RIGHT I'M CALLING IT SEASON SIX. >> I'M NOT NODDING YES OR NO
>> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO PLAY THIS INTERVIEW BACK AFTER SEASON SIX, AND WE'LL SEE
HOW -- YEAH. >> I CAN'T TELL WHAT I REVEALED JUST NOW
DID I REVEAL -- YEAH >> Jimmy: BUT THIS IS WHAT A A GREAT ACTOR HE IS.
HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HE IS AND HE'S ACTING LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NICHOLAS BRAUN I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
HERE'S NICHOLAS BRAUN IN "SUCCESSION. HE'S GREAT
WATCH THIS
CHOICE
>> OR MINE I -- I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER BURN ME
>> I SAID I'D TRY NOT TO BURN YOU. >> WELL, NO.
YOU SAID ON THE PLANE YOU SAID - >> HEY, HEY.
LET'S NOT "HE SAID, SHE SAID." THERE'S A LOT OF [ BLEEP ] SAID
LOOK, I'M STILL NOT SAYING I WILL BURN YOU. ALL I'M SAYING IS I MIGHT BURN
YOU. IT'S A MARGIN CALL >> AND JUST HOW BAD WILL THE
BURNING BE I MEAN, EVEN AS I ASK THAT I CAN TELL IT'S NOT GOING TO
BE - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NICHOLAS BRAUN,
EVERYBODY! "SUCCESSION" AIRS SUNDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. ON HBO
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RITA MORENO. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS ONE
OF THE ONLY PEOPLE IN HISTORY TO WIN AN EMMY, GRAMMY, OSCAR AND TONY
AND SHE'S GETTING RAVE REVIEWS IN THE NEW STEVEN SPIELBERG FILM "WEST SIDE STORY," WHICH
IS IN THEATERS DECEMBER 10th PLEASE WELCOME, IT IS AN HONOR AND A PLEASURE, RITA MORENO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* >> Jimmy: YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW. AND YOU SMELL FANTASTIC BY THE WAY.
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: YOU REALLY DO. >> THAT'S JUST FOR YOU
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> LOOK OUT. I'M A DIRTY OLD LADY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO LOOK -- RITA, YOU HAVE BEEN IN NEW YORK CITY FOR HOW LONG NOW
A COUPLE OF DAYS >> YOU KNOW, WE OPENED LAST NIGHT.
>> Jimmy: THE BIG PREMIER LAST NIGHT. CONGRATULATIONS.
>> "WEST SIDE STORY" OPENED LAST NIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU ARE FROM THE PREMIER LAST NIGHT AND, GOSH, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS
>> THANK YOU YOU LIKE THE DRESS [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I ACTUALLY REALLY DO I REALLY DO LIKE THE DRESS >> THE SAME ONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELL, WE'RE -- HEY IF IT AIN'T BROKE --
>> HEY, I SLEPT IN IT, SO -- [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T WEAR IT -- I DON'T WEAR
DESIGNER DRESSES TOO OFTEN THIS IS MICHAEL KORS THE JEWELRY IS DAVID WEBB.
I'VE ALWAYS PROVIDED MY OWN GOWN SO THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I
BORROWED >> Jimmy: I KNOW THAT YOU'RE AT A VERY FANCY HOTEL
>> OH, YES WELL, YOU KNOW, DISNEY IS PROVIDING ALL KINDS OF STUFF
FOR THE WHOLE CAST, AND THEY PUT ME IN THIS EXTRAORDINARY HOTEL.
AND IT HAS -- IT'S ON THE 40th FLOOR, AND IT HAS THE MOST WONDERFUL VIEWS.
I SAW THE THANKSGIVING -- THE MACY'S DAY PARADE -- YOU KNOW, FROM 40 FLIGHTS UP
IT'S INCREDIBLE. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. THAT MUST BE LIKE --
>> BUT WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT IT -- IS IT JUST GOT ME. AND I HAVE A LITTLE VIDEO TO
SHOW YOU I WAS SHOWING -- YOU KNOW, THIS IS FOR MY FRIENDS.
AND THEN I THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW, JIMMY MIGHT LIKE THIS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
WELL, LET ME JUST SHOW YOU CAN I SHOW YOU A LITTLE FILM >> Jimmy: LET'S JUST SAY TAKE
A VIDEO THAT YOU BROUGHT FROM YOUR HOTEL >> RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT
OKAY, HERE WE GO >> Jimmy: SHOWING US AROUND. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
>> FANCY SHOWER. SWEET -- [ LAUGHTER ]
LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA GOBBLE ME UP [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT IS LUXURY RIGHT THERE. BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE.
>> IT'S HILARIOUS. >> Jimmy: YOU'VE HAD A A LEGENDARY CAREER
I MEAN THEY CALL YOU -- WHO CALLS YOU ABOUT "WEST SIDE STORY?
THEY'RE REDOING -- YOU GO, "EXCUSE ME I AM 'WEST SIDE STORY.' WHAT
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW?" [ LAUGHTER ] WHO CALLS YOU, YOU GO "HEY,
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED? >> STEVEN SPIELBERG CALLED ME, AND HE ASKED FOR PERMISSION TO
GET MY PHONE NUMBER. AND I SAID, "YEAH, YOU CAN GIVE HIM MY PHONE NUMBER.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SURE >> AND HE ASKED ME ABOUT BEING IN IT.
AND I PUT ON MY MOST POLITE VOICE AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO TELL
YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR MOVIES, BUT I DON'T DO CAMEOS. AND I SAID, "I THINK IT WOULD
BE DISTRACTING, DON'T YOU? AND HE SAID, "NO, NO, NO IT'S A REAL PART
IT'S A REAL PART." AND I PLAY VALENTINA, THE PUERTO RICAN WIDOW OF DOC OF
THE CANDY STORE. REMEMBER THE CANDY STORE WHERE THE JETS HANG OUT?
SO, AND I EVEN GET TO SING IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS
>> Jimmy: IT IS A JUICY ROLE, AND YOU JUST TAKE IT AND STEAL IT
AND I GO, "OH, MY GOSH --" >> AND THE AUDIENCE WENT NUTS LAST NIGHT AT THE OPENING
THEY WENT CRAZY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HOW IS THAT -- I
MEAN, DID YOU EVER THINK -- YOU GO - DOES IT REMIND YOU OF THE
PREMIER OF THE FIRST "WEST SIDE STORY? >> YOU KNOW WHAT IT REMINDS ME
OF, ACTUALLY WHICH IS A FUN STORY WHEN WE WERE SHOOTING "AMERICA"
IN THE VERY FIRST VERSION OF THIS, AND WE WERE -- AT THE END, WE SENT -- I THINK YOU
HAVE A PICTURE OF THIS AT THE VERY END OF "AMERICA," IF SOME OF YOU RECALL IT, THE
GIRLS END UP -- CAN WE DO REAL CLOSE? THE GIRLS END UP ON THE
SHOULDER OF THE BOY, RIGHT >> Jimmy: YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT
>> OKAY, WHAT WE DIDN'T COUNT ON, GEORGE CHAKIRIS AND I, IS THAT DURING REHEARSALS, WE
WOULD BE WEARING, LIKE, A T-SHIRT. AND I WOULD WEAR A COTTON SKIRT
AND NO PROBLEM THEN WE GET TO THIS, AND GEORGE CHAKIRIS IS WEARING A
A SHARK SKIN SUIT. REALLY SLIPPERY. [ LAUGHTER ]
I'M WEARING A PURE SILK DRESS. REALLY SLIPPERY. >> Jimmy: TOGETHER -
>> ON TOP OF THAT, ON TOP OF THAT, GEORGE'S SHOULDERS SLOPE ON TOP OF THAT, MY ASS IS TOO
BIG FOR THAT SHOULDER. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT YEAH, IT'S FUNNY NOW
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW A GIRL HAS -- LET ME SHOW YOU HOW A A GIRL HAS TO HANG ON TO A BOY
WHEN YOU DO THAT KIND OF THING I MEAN -- I'M NOT GOING TO DANCE BECAUSE I WILL GET SUCH
A CHARLIE HORSE YOU WON'T BELIEVE. >> Jimmy: OKAY -
I'M NOT 89 FOR NOTHING SO WHAT HAPPENS IS THAT THE GUY TAKES THE GIRL, AND HE SWINGS
HER UP ON TO HIS SHOULDER. AND WHAT SHE DOES IN ORDER TO HANG ON TO HIM IS LITERALLY --
I HAVE TO GET IN FRONT OF YOU. DON'T GET EXCITED. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
>> OKAY? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, SWEETIE >> Jimmy: I AM
I AM OH, MY GOODNESS, WOW >> SO SHE HAS TO PUT HER LEGS
AROUND THE BACK OF HIM, AND LITERALLY STICK HER TOE INTO HIS BUTTOCK, AND IT IS THE ONLY
WAY HE CAN HOLD HER UP IN THE AIR. >> Jimmy: YEAH
AND WE GO -- * "OLE!"
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, MY GOD >> Jimmy: CAMERA JUST FOLLOW US
DOWN >> WE DID ABOUT 10 OR 12 TAKES >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> THE DANCERS WERE READY TO KILL ME BECAUSE THEY HAD TO DO IT, TOO.
>> Jimmy: WELL, LET ME JUST TELL YOU, YOU GOT THE OSCAR. SO CONGRATULATIONS
>> YEAH, THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE IS RITA MORENO IN THE NEW
"WEST SIDE STORY." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER. >> YOU DON'T WANT TO START
MAYBE WITH, "I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT TO COFFEE? >> NO.
COME ON. >> I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO SHOP FOR A -- CREAM CHEESE SANDWICH
ON A RAISIN BREAD? >> THIS AIN'T CASUAL LIKE THAT >> WHA -
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER. [ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE >> Jimmy: OH, RIGHT THERE.
RITA MORENO! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "WEST SIDE STORY" IS IN
THEATERS DECEMBER 10th WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAND UP FROM DUSTY SLAY
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS FEATURED IN SEASON 3 OF "THE STANDUP" AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX
THIS DECEMBER. PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY DUSTY SLAY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> ALL RIGHT
OKAY WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME AND OKAY
WELL, I'M PUMPED TO BE HERE. PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW?
THEY'RE ALWAYS LIKE, YOU LOOK LIKE JOE DIRT. OR YOU ARE LIKE "WAYNE'S
WORLD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU LOOK LIKE JAY AND
SILENT BOB [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ONE GUY -- ONE GUY WAS LIKE,
"YOU LOOK LIKE A WALMART BILLY RAY CYRUS. [ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS LIKE, "DANG, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD GET MORE WALMART THAN BILLY RAY CYRUS."
[ LAUGHTER ] I THOUGHT THAT WAS AS WALMART AS IT GOT.
BUT PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME, I LOOK JUST LIKE THEIR COUSIN. THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU LOOK JUST
LIKE MY COUSIN JUST LIKE MY COUSIN. AND THEN EVERY TIME THEY SHOW
ME A PICTURE, IT'S NEVER A GOOD LOOKING DUDE [ LAUGHTER ]
I'M ALWAYS -- I'M NEVER LIKE, "MAN, I APPRECIATE THAT. I'M ALWAYS LIKE, "THAT'S WHAT
YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE? THAT'S HOW I LOOK TO YOU?" DID YOU EVER SEE A BAD PICTURE
OF YOURSELF AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT ALSO DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU KNOW THAT YOU DID LOOK LIKE THAT
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] I MEAN, LIKE THAT CAMERA DIDN'T
MAKE THAT UP, RIGHT? LIKE IT MIGHT HAVE CAUGHT YOU IN A BAD MOMENT, BUT THAT'S YOU
IN THAT PICTURE. [ LAUGHTER ] NOW THE QUESTION YOU GOT TO ASK
YOURSELF IS HOW OFTEN AM I LOOKING LIKE THAT? AND WHAT DO I GOT TO DO TO
NEVER LOOK LIKE THAT AGAIN BUT PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK I KNOW ABOUT CARS
THEY THINK I LOOK LIKE A GUY THAT KNOWS A LOT ABOUT CARS, YOU KNOW
AND THEY'LL ALWAYS ASK ME TO LISTEN TO THEIR CAR TO SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT, YOU KNOW
AND I'LL DO IT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LIKE I DON'T WANT TO LET THEM
DOWN, RIGHT? SO I'LL LISTEN AND GO, "YOU SHOULD GET THAT CHECKED OUT,
MAN. AND IF YOU DO IT JUST RIGHT, THEY'LL BE LIKE, "YOU KNOW
WHAT, I WILL GET IT CHECKED OUT. I APPRECIATE THAT.
I WASN'T BUT I WILL NOW." AND I KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
CARS BECAUSE I WRECKED A BUNCH OF THEM. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I FEEL LIKE IF YOU WRECK ENOUGH, YOU LEARN WHAT A CAR CAN DO, WHAT IT CAN'T DO
WHAT IT CAN'T COME BACK FROM, YOU KNOW AND FOR A WHILE I WAS DRIVING
A 1982 BUICK LeSABRE YOU KNOW, ALL RIGHT. REAL BIG CAR, YOU KNOW
USED A LOT OF GAS. AND I USED TO MAKE THIS JOKE AT WORK
I'D BE LIKE, "MAN, THAT CAR USES SO MUCH GAS, I BET IT'S USING GAS RIGHT NOW IN THE
PARKING LOT. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S A GREAT WORK JOKE
PEOPLE LOVE THAT ONE GUY -- ONE GUY DIDN'T GET IT, THOUGH
HE GOES, "HELL, YOU MIGHT HAVE A LEAK." [ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS LIKE, "NO, I DON'T THINK SO." BUT I DID HAVE A CAR THAT
LEAKED A LOT OF OIL FOR A WHILE, YOU KNOW? AND I LIKE THAT IN A CAR, YOU
KNOW LIKE, YOU LEAK A LITTLE OIL, POUR A LITTLE IN THERE
LEAK A LITTLE OIL, POUR A LITTLE IN THERE. NEVER GET AN OIL CHANGE.
[ APPLAUSE ] PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CHANGED THE OIL
ON THIS CAR? I'M LIKE, "IT'S CHANGING RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY THIS CAR IS EFFICIENT.
I USED TO DRIVE THAT CAR ALL OVER THE COUNTRY YOU KNOW, LEAKING OIL
EVERYWHERE I DROVE UP TO DULUTH, MINNESOTA ONE TIME, AND I WENT TO THE --
ALL RIGHT. AND I WENT TO THIS AQUARIUM. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE BEEN
THERE BEFORE I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD GO JUST FOR THE AQUARIUM, BUT IF YOU'RE
UP THERE, CHECK IT OUT IT WAS A NICE PLACE, BUT IT JUST FELT LIKE THE AQUARIUM WAS
ON A TWO-WEEK NOTICE, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE LIKE, "WE ABOUT TO SHUT
THIS PLACE DOWN. LIKE SOME ANIMALS WERE MISSING THERE WAS A FOUNTAIN THAT HAD
DRIED UP THERE WAS A TURTLE IN THERE. I DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS CERAMIC
OR IF IT HAD JUST STOPPED MOVING [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEY HAD A WALK-IN BIRD CAGE THAT YOU COULD WALK INTO. BUT I GOT IN THERE AND IT JUST
FELT LIKE IT WAS BIRDS FROM THE OUTSIDE. [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE I KNOW ALL BIRDS ARE FROM THE OUTSIDE. BUT IT FELT LIKE YOU WERE IN
LIKE A RETAIL STORE AND A BIRD HAD JUST FLOWN IN. AND THEN COULDN'T FIGURE HOW TO
GET OUT. AND THEN I WENT TO THE MAIN AQUARIUM AND I'M LOOKING AT THE
FISH TANK, RIGHT AND THERE IS A LOT OF FISH IN THERE.
AND THIS GIRL COMES UP TO ME AND SHE HAS A NAME TAG ON. AND THE NAME TAG HAS HER NAME,
AND THEN IT SAYS "FISH EXPERT. I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT."
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN I DON'T RUN INTO A LOT OF FISH EXPERTS OUT HERE IN THE WORLD.
AND I THOUGHT, "THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO GET SOME ANSWERS TO SOME OF THE FISH QUESTIONS THAT
I HAVE." [ LAUGHTER ] SO I STARTED ASKING HER SOME
STUFF, YOU KNOW, STUFF I CAN GOOGLE BUT I THOUGHT, "HEY, LET'S HAVE
A REAL HUMAN EXPERIENCE HERE." SO I START ASKING HER STUFF, AND THEN I SAY, "OH, YOU KNOW
WHAT I GOT A GOOD ONE." THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION.
YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS. THIS IS WHAT I SAID TO HER I GO, "LET ME ASK YOU THIS
DO FISH SLEEP? THAT'S WHAT I SAID TO HER. I SAID, "DO FISH SLEEP?"
AND SHE LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE FACE AND SHE GOES, "I DON'T KNOW
'CAUSE I DON'T WORK HERE AT NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] OKAY, HEY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GUYS
I APPRECIATE YOU THANK YOU. *
>> Jimmy: DUSTY SLAY, EVERYBODY. DUSTY SLAY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SEASON THREE OF "THE STANDUPS" IS OUT DECEMBER ON NETFLIX
MY THANKS TO MAYA RUDOLPH, NICHOLAS BRAUN, RITA MORENO. DUSTY SLAY ONCE AGAIN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE IT. AND THE ROOTS RIGHT HERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *