>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JULIE BOWEN,
KEKE PALMER, MUSICAL GUEST, ZOE WEES. AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1558 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS! WELCOME.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, EVERYONE WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
YOU'RE HERE, YOU MADE IT, YOU'RE WATCHING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR SHOW WELL, GUYS, TOMORROW IS
THANKSGIVING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT
* THANKSGIVING, IT'S THE DAY THAT YOU FORGET ABOUT ALL THE
FIGHTING AND DIVISION IN THE WORLD AND JUST FOCUS ON ALL THE FIGHTING AND DIVISION IN YOUR
FAMILY [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT
SINCE IT'S THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING, LOTS OF AMERICANS ARE GETTING THEIR ANTIBODIES
CHECKED TO SEE IF THEY CAN FIGHT OFF AUNT RITA'S MYSTERY CASSEROLE.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M ACTUALLY HOSTING THANKSGIVING
MY FAVORITE PART IS GUESSING WHICH RELATIVE IS GOING TO GET THE ONE CHAIR THAT'S SHORTER
THAN ALL THE OTHERS? [ LAUGHTER ] "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PASS
THE -- OF COURSE, LOTS OF PEOPLE WILL BE MAKING TURKEY, WHILE OTHERS
WILL BE COOKING A TURDUCKEN. YOU KNOW WHAT A TURDUCKEN -- IT'S A CORONARY INSIDE A
A STROKE, INSIDE A HEART ATTACK [ LAUGHTER ]
I READ THAT THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST DRINKING NIGHTS OF THE
YEAR, BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE GO TO THEIR HOME TOWN BARS TO SEE OLD FRIENDS.
AND I THINK THE BARS KNOW THIS I MEAN, JUST TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE SIGNS I SAW THEY
PUT OUTSIDE. THIS ONE SAYS, "COME IN AND CHECK OUT WHO GAINED A TON OF
WEIGHT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT -- LOOK AT THIS ONE IT SAID, "REMIND THE ONE THAT
GOT AWAY WHY SHE GOT AWAY. [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT UP, THERE'S, "REMEMBER
YOUR MATH TEACHER? WELL, HE'S A BARTENDER NOW LET'S SEE IF WE CAN POLITELY
FIND OUT WHY." [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, THERE'S "WHAT GOES
BETTER WITH TURKEY THAN BURPING UP FIREBALL WHISKEY. >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S -
I WANT TO SAY HI TO ALL MY FRIENDS AT THE EXCHANGE RIGHT NOW.
HI HEY, DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS TOM BRADY SAID THAT
THANKSGIVING IS THE ONE DAY OF THE YEAR WHERE HE SAYS SCREW IT AND EATS JUST LIKE EVERYONE
ELSE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, AND APPARENTLY, THE MEAL
REALLY TAKES A TOLL ON TOM BRADY. HERE HE IS BEFORE THANKSGIVING
AND HERE HE IS AFTER THANKSGIVING [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S JUST -- YOU JUST GOT TO BE CAREFUL, YOU KNOW
>> Steve: A LOT OF INFLAMMATION >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS, THE CEO OF OCEAN SPRAY SAID THAT DUE TO A
A CAN SHORTAGE FROM SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUES, PEOPLE WHO WANT CRANBERRY SAUCE MIGHT HAVE TO
USE FRESH CRANBERRIES. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE
FIRST SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUE WHERE EVERYONE THOUGHT, "GOOD. [ LAUGHTER ]
OF COURSE, THANKSGIVING ISN'T JUST ABOUT FOOD. IT'S ALL ABOUT POSTING PICTURES
OF YOUR FOOD ON SOCIAL MEDIA BUT THERE'S SOME IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT POSTING
YOUR THANKSGIVING PLATE. SO, I WROTE A TINY SONG ABOUT IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * PSA THANKSGIVING FOOD *
* DOESN'T PHOTOGRAP TOO GOOD IT JUST LOOKS LIKE A *
* BIG OLD PILE OF BEIGE I'M SURE YOUR DINNER TASTED GREAT *
* BUT THAT TAN RAINBO ON YOUR PLATE' NOT SHOWING UP *
* ON NO ONE'S FOR YOU PAG MYSTERY SCOOPS O BROWN AND WHITE *
* GRAVY FILME BY CANDLELIGHT AIN'T THE LOOK THAT *
* HOME COOKING DESERVES HASHTAG DINNER HASHTAG SNACKY *
* ALL LOOKS LIKE YO SERVE WET KHAKIS BOWLS OF SOGGY *
* BURLAP FOR DESSER SO PSA THANKSGIVING FOOD DOESN'T PHOTOGRAPH *
* TOO GOO IN WORST-CASE SCENARIO LOOKS GROSS *
* JUST TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOUR FA OR YOUR FRIENDS TOGETHER *
* NOT OF HA THAT'S WHY YOUR MO TOLD YOU TO WEAR *
* NICE CLOTHES * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. WELL, I -- I READ THAT RUSSIA
IS DEMANDING THAT BY NEXT YEAR, LARGE U.S. TECH COMPANIES, LIKE FACEBOOK,
OPENS UP OFFICES IN THEIR COUNTRY. YEP.
FACEBOOK INSIDE RUSSIA IT'S LIKE A FAKE NEWS TURDUCKEN.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEP. SOON, PUTIN WILL BE LIKE, "OH,
NO, THE SPYING IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE." [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS COOL THOUGH. DISNEY JUST ANNOUNCED THAT NEXT YEAR, THEY'RE INTRODUCING THEIR
VERY OWN "HEY DISNEY VOICE ASSISTANT" AT DISNEYLAND WELL, NOT TO BE OUTDONE,
ANOTHER AMUSEMENT PARK IS ROLLING OUT SOMETHING SIMILAR. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
PROUD TO INTRODUCE OUR INNOVATIVE NEW VOICE ASSISTANT
* GET ALL THE INFORMATION YOU NEED BY SIMPLY SAYING THINGS
LIKE, "HEY, BUSCH GARDENS, WHAT'S THE WEATHER?" >> HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> "HEY, BUSCH GARDENS, WHAT SHOULD I BRING TO THE PARK?"
>> TWO FLASKS AND A VAPE PAN [ LAUGHTER ] [ COUGHING ]
>> AND, "HEY, BUSCH GARDENS, WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT? >> TRY NOT TO [ BLEEP ] DIE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> BUSCH GARDENS JUST LIKE DISNEY, IF YOU DRINK
ENOUGH >> Jimmy: HEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SOME MOVIE NEWS. TODAY, "HOUSE OF GUCCI," STARRING LADY GAGA AND
ADAM DRIVER, FINALLY HIT THEATERS [ CHEERS ]
YEP. TICKETS TO "HOUSE OF GUCCI" ARE $18.
BUT IF YOU GO TO TIMES SQUARE, YOU CAN FIND A KNOCKOFF FOR $10.
[ LAUGHTER ] "HOUSE OF BUCCI. AND GET THIS, ACTOR
STEVE BURTON WAS FIRED FROM THE SOAP OPERA, "GENERAL HOSPITAL," 'CAUSE HE REFUSED TO GET
VACCINATED YEP. THEY KEPT SHOWING HIM EVIDENCE
THE VACCINE WAS SAFE, BUT HE HAD AMNESIA. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH WH -- [ APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: IT'S ALL RIGHT WHEN HE FOUND OUT HE WAS FIRED, BURTON WENT UP TO THE PRODUCER,
THREW A DRINK IN HIS FACE, SLAPPED HIM AND YELLED, "I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU," THEN STORMED
OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, I HEARD ABOUT A WOMAN IN
CANADA WHO ORDERED A TOY FOR HER GRANDDAUGHTER, BUT IT TURNED OUT IT WASN'T VERY CHILD
FRIENDLY LOOK AT THIS
EDUCATIONAL TOY FOR HER GRANDDAUGHTER AND FOUND THIS DANCING CACTUS ON WALMART'S
WEBSITE. WHEN IT ARRIVED, SHE DECIDED TO LISTEN TO THE SONGS, ONE IN
ENGLISH, SPANISH AND POLISH. >> IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I'M POLISH
AND WHEN I START LISTENING TO THE SONG AND I HEARD THE WORDS, IT'S ABOUT TAKING FIVE GRAMS OF
COCAINE AND BEING ALONE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HER GRANDDAUGHTER WAS
LIKE -- HER GRANDDAUGHTER WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I'M REALLY DISAPPOINTED I WON'T GET A
A POLISH CACTUS FOR CHRISTMAS. [ LAUGHTER ] HAS THIS WOMAN EVER HEARD OF A
A TOY STORE? TARGET GO TO TARGET
CAN WE SEE THAT CACTUS TOY AGAIN? [ LAUGHTER ]
I THINK WE COULD HAVE GUESSED HE WAS ON COCAINE. DON'T YOU THINK?
[ LAUGHTER ] FINALLY, A TRUCK CARRYING $400,000 WORTH OF
JACK DANIEL'S, OVERTURNED ON A A TENNESSEE HIGHWAY, SPILLED WHISKEY ALL OVER THE ROAD.
AFTER IT HAPPENED, OFFICIALS DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER TO CLEAN IT UP OR TIP OVER A TRUCK CARRYING
COCA-COLA. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU,
TONIGHT. SHE STARS IN THE NEW FILM, "MIXTAPE," WHICH PREMIERES
DECEMBER 3rd ON NETFLIX. JULIE BOWEN IS HERE! >> Steve: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: PLUS, HER COLLECTION OF FICTIONAL ESSAYS CALLED
"SOUTHERN BELLE INSULTS" IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON ORIGINAL STORIES.
KEKE PALMER IS HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM
ZOE WEES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FUN SHOW TONIGHT
A QUICK REMINDER FOR EVERYBODY, FRIDAY NIGHT AT 8:30 -- I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS -- YOU
KNOW, I HAVE MY BOOK, "FIVE MORE SLEEPS 'TIL CHRISTMAS." >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: I WROTE THIS CHILDREN'S BOOK. ANYWAYS, NBC TURNED IT INTO
A HOLIDAY -- AN ANIMATED HOLIDAY SPECIAL. SO, IT IS --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S ABOUT A BOY AND HIS DOG >> Steve: RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: AND HE JUST CAN'T WAIT TO -- TO -- FOR CHRISTMAS AND HE'S HAVING TROUBLE GETTING
TO SLEEP >> Steve: OKAY >> Jimmy: BUT IT'S -- WAIT, MY
PLACEMENT IS UNBELIEVABLE. WAIT FOR THIS -- 'CAUSE I WROTE THIS
THIS IS MY IDEA, BUT IT'S ON AFTER "THE GRINCH. >> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: SO HOW -- "THE GRINCH" IS LEGENDARY SO, YOU WATCH "THE GRINCH," GO
RIGHT INTO "FIVE MORE SLEEPS." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THEN -- IT'S LIKE A WHOLE
HOLIDAY. ANYWAYS, THANK YOU NBC FOR BEING SO COOL AND SUPPORTIVE
AND EVERYBODY, CHECK THAT OUT. THAT'S FRIDAY. SO THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FRIDAY NIGHT, CHECK IT OUT 8:30
GUYS, IT'S TIME TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE STORIES MAKING HEADLINES TODAY AND WEIGH THE GOOD WITH
THE BAD. IT'S TIME FOR "PROS AND CONS." HERE WE GO
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TONIGHT, WE'LL BE TAKING A LOOK
AT THE PROS AND CONS OF THANKSGIVING TRAVEL. THAT'S RIGHT, TOMORROW IS
THANKSGIVING, AND THIS YEAR, THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE TRAVELING TO SEE THEIR FAMILIES IS
EXPECTED TO GET BACK TO NEARLY PRE-PANDEMIC LEVELS. SO, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE
PROS AND CONS OF THANKSGIVING TRAVEL HERE WE GO, RIGHT HERE
PRO, YOU'LL FINALLY GET TO SEE YOUR FAMILY. CON, YOU'LL FINALLY GET TO SEE
YOUR FAMILY. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
A REAL DOUBLE EDGED SWORD. >> Steve: BLESSING AND A CURSE >> Jimmy: PRO, 4.2 MILLION
AMERICANS WILL TRAVEL BY AIRPLANE CON, AND THEY ALL BELIEVE THEY
DESERVE THE ARMREST. [ APPLAUSE ] PRO, LISTENING TO THE RADIO ON
A FAMILY ROAD TRIP CON, HEARING DAD TRY TO HIT THAT HIGH NOTE IN "EASY ON ME.
[ APPLAUSE ] [ JIMMY MIMICKING SONG ] PRO, GETTING VACCINATED SO THAT
YOU CAN EAT THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY CON, HAVING TO SIT AT THE
JOHNSON & JOHNSON TABLE. OH, THAT'S - [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] COME ON! >> Steve: IN THE BASEMENT.
>> Jimmy: PRO, THERE'S LESS VEHICLE TRAFFIC IF YOU LEAVE LATE WEDNESDAY
CON, ASSUMING WAZE DOESN'T GIVE THE OTHER 20,000 PEOPLE THE SAME SHORTCUT.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] YOU'RE SPECIAL
>> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: WAY -- EVERYBODY'S ON
THIS WEIRD ROAD. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE SPECIAL I -- WE DIDN'T TELL ANYONE
ELSE PRO, EVERYONE ON THE PLANE WEARS A MASK TO PREVENT THE
SPREAD OF COVID. CON, UNTIL THEY BUST OUT THOSE BISCOFF COOKIES, THEN ALL BETS
ARE OFF. [ LAUGHTER ] ARE THOSE BISCOFF?
NOM, NOM, NOM. [ LAUGHTER ] PRO, AMERICAN AND ALASKA
AIRLINES REQUIRE THEIR EMPLOYEES TO BE VACCINATED CON, SOUTHWEST IS HANDING OUT
FLINTSTONE VITAMINS AND HOPING FOR THE BEST [ LAUGHTER ]
PRO, IF YOU'RE NERVOUS TO FLY, SOME AIRPORTS HAVE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMALS.
CON, THEY'RE ALL PROVIDED BY JOE EXOTIC [ LAUGHTER ]
THERE YOU GO, EVERYBODY. THOSE ARE THE "PROS AND CONS." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
AUDIENCE "SUGGESTION BOX." COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK AS YOU GUYS KNOW, WE'RE ALWAYS
STRIVING TO GET BETTER HERE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW. HARDER, BETTER, FASTER,
STRONGER [ LAUGHTER ] SO BEFORE EVERY SHOW, WE PUT
OUT A SUGGESTION BOX FOR THE AUDIENCE JUST TO GET SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT WHAT YOU GUYS
THINK OF THE SHOW. THINGS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE US DO.
THAT KIND OF STUFF SO TONIGHT, LET'S LOOK INSIDE THE "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX."
HERE WE GO
* WELCOME TO THE BO
SUGGESTION BOX * >> Jimmy: HERE WE HAVE -- FIRST ONE IS FROM JULIA GEE.
SAID, "HEY, JIMMY. I'M SO EXCITED FOR 'HOUSE OF GUCCI' TO COME OUT THIS
WEEKEND. ARE YOU GOING TO GO SEE IT?" ABSOLUTELY
I CAN'T WAIT HOW ABOUT YOU, QUEST >> Questlove: YEAH, MAN.
I LOVE THE COSTUMES. YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH
HOW ABOUT YOU, MARK? >> I'LL PROBABLY GO. ADAM DRIVER IS GOOD IN
EVERYTHING >> Jimmy: YEAH, GOOD >> Steve: GOOD
>> Jimmy: YEAH WHAT ABOUT YOU, JAMES? ARE YOU EXCITED FOR "HOUSE OF
GUCCI" >> NEVER HEARD OF IT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WOW. SORRY I ASKED.
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM JEFF BILLINGHAM.
"HEY, JIMMY. I'M A BIG FAN OF TENNIS. OH, GOOD
I LIKE TENNIS TOO. "BUT I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN TENNIS PLAYERS MAKE THOSE LOUD
GRUNTS PLEASE DON'T SHOW ME A BUNCH OF OTHER SPORTS WITH TENNIS
GRUNTING IN IT IT WOULD JUST REALLY BUM ME OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ] "JUST KIDDING. IT'S OPPOSITE DAY.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A VERY TRICKY SUGGESTION. WELL, IF IT'S OPPOSITE DAY AND
YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE GRUNTING IN OTHER SPORTS, HERE YOU GO BUD!
[ GRUNTING ] [ GRUNTING ]
* [ GRUNTING ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE YOU GO
[ APPLAUSE ] IT'S OPPOSITE DAY. >> Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. LET'S TRY ONE MORE HERE.
THIS ONE IS FROM APRIL SING. "HEY, JIMMY. I WANT TO MAKE HAND TURKEYS
WITH MY KIDS THIS YEAR BUT I'M A LITTLE SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY BIG HANDS
ANY TIPS?" THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING BIG HANDS
THE BIGGER THE TURKEY, THE BETTER TO SHOW YOU, WE'RE ABOUT TO
MAKE THE WORLD'S LARGEST HAND TURKEY LET'S ROLL OUT THE PAPER
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S SET THE WORLD RECORD
GO AHEAD >> Steve: READY? >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OVERGROWN YOUR HAIR OR SOMETHING.
ALL RIGHT, DID YOU DO THE -- ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS CAN GET UP NOW.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LET'S SEE WHAT WE DID.
OH, WOW! WOW!
LOOK AT THIS IT'S A MASTERPIECE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WORLD'S LARGEST HAND TURKEY. * >> Steve: THERE WE GO.
>> Jimmy: A COUPLE THINGS JUST TO MAKE SURE IT'S COMPLETE THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE RIGHT
THERE. THERE YOU HAVE IT. A WORLD RECORD
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE WORLD'S LARGEST HAND TURKEY RIGHT THERE.
I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE THANK YOU, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT WAS FUN GOTTA CALL THE GUINNESS PEOPLE THIS NEXT ONE HERE IS FROM
DAHLIA LOPEZ "HEY, JIMMY. MY FAVORITE PART OF FOOTBALL
GAMES IS THE TOUCHDOWN CELEBRATIONS WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU SCORED
A TOUCHDOWN? WELL, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION YOU KNOW, I'M OLD-FASHIONED.
I'LL PROBABLY JUST GO THROUGH THE CLASSIC SPIKING THE FOOTBALL
HOW ABOUT YOU, QUEST >> Questlove: I KINDA LIKE A A LAMBEAU LEAP, YOU KNOW
WHERE YOU JUMP INTO THE CROWD. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LIKE THAT. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
YEAH WHAT ABOUT YOU, HIGS >> Steve: I DON'T KNOW
MAYBE -- MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE THIS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT WAS AMAZING HIGGINS, THAT WAS AMAZING.
I -- * >> Steve: YEAH, WHATEVER
>> Jimmy: WOW. HIGGINS, I -- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW HOW TO CATCH A FOOTBALL
>> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] I HAD TO LEARN THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: I KNEW THE BREAKDANCING
>> Jimmy: YEAH ALRIGHT, LAST SUGGESTION RIGHT HERE
THIS FROM -- THIS ONE IS FROM CHELSEA MITCHELL "HEY, JIMMY, I LOVE HALLMARK
CHRISTMAS MOVIES BUT I'VE NOTICE THE POSTERS ARE ALL REALLY SIMILAR
YOU SHOULD DO SOME RECREATIONS OF THEM. YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
BUT I'M GOING TO NEED A LITTLE HELP SO HERE TO JOIN ME IN
RECREATING HALLMARK'S CHRISTMAS MOVIE POSTERS IS JULIE BOWEN
* >> Jimmy: AH, NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH ALL RIGHT.
>> LET'S DO IT COME ON. >> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO DO
MANY OF THESE AS WE CAN AS FAST AS WE CAN. >> COMPETITIVE DRESSING.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, STEPH YEP. >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO NOW THE ORIGINAL -- THE
ORIGINAL POSTER WILL POP UP ON THE LEFT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO RECREATE
IT ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS >> HELL, YEAH.
ARE WE MAKING OUT IN ANY OF THEM >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW
I HAVE NO IDEA [ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, BUD, HERE WE GO
READY? >> UH-HUH. [ CHEERS ]
>> Jimmy: ALRIGHT, LET'S DO IT AND GO [ CHEERS ]
>> OH! >> Jimmy: OH >> OH, LOOK AT THIS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * OH, WRONG WAY?
[ APPLAUSE ] * NO, WRONG WAY.
I WENT THE WRONG WAY IT WAS THE WRONG WAY IT WAS THE WRONG WAY
>> Jimmy: NO, WE WERE RIGHT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [ BELL ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> OH! >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TWO HERE ON
THIS SIDE. [ BELL ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* [ BELL ] >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS
>> WE DID. WE DID IT. >> Jimmy: OH, THAT ONE
>> OH, WAIT. >> Jimmy: RIGHT HERE RIGHT HERE
[ LAUGHTER ] [ BELL ] >> WE NAILED THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * [ BELL ]
>> I LIKE YOUR BLAND FACE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, THANK YOU. >> OH.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ BELL ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> OH. * [ BELL ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ CHEERS ] >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO
WE HAVE IT RIGHT THERE THANK YOU VERY MUCH! OH, WOW!
OH -- OH, IT WAS -- COME ON. THANK YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST.
THANK YOU. THAT IS JULIE BOWEN RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR OUR SUGGESTION BOX [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE'RE TALKING TO JULIE AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A TWO-TIME EMMY WINNER FOR HER WORK ON "MODERN FAMILY." SHE STARS IN THE NEW FILM,
"MIXTAPE," WHICH PREMIERES DECEMBER 3rd ON NETFLIX. PLEASE WELCOME JULIE BOWEN
* JULIE JULIE YOU'RE OFF
WITH YOUR GALS JULIE * >> WOW
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. WELCOME. THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH THAT BIT TOO. >> I REALLY LIKE SOMEONE
SINGING TO ME. ESPECIALLY THAT HANDSOME GENTLEMAN.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH OF COURSE. THIS -- THOSE GUYS THE ROOTS
YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU FOR --
>> HE'S LIKE, "LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME, JULIE. LOOK AT ME."
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU PUT THEM RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
I'M LIKE, "UH-HUH. THAT'S RIGHT OKAY
OH, HI." >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH, ONE BY --
>> Jimmy: I WAS -- I WAS VERY HAPPY TO MEET YOUR COUSINS BACKSTAGE.
>> YEAH, THAT WAS MY -- MY NIECE AND NEPHEW >> Jimmy: OH -- OH, NIECE AND
NEPHEWS. >> MY NIECE AND NEPHEW THEY'RE VERY TALL, SO THEY LOOK
LIKE MY COUSINS. >> Jimmy: VERY -- VERY CUTE. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT I MEAN, I GUESS YOU'RE HERE FOR THE BIG FAMILY THANKSGIVING?
>> YEAH, WE'RE ALL GATHERING THEY HAVE A NEW APARTMENT, SO WE'RE -- WE'RE GOING TO BREAK
IT IN. >> Jimmy: YES. >> WE'RE GOING TO BREAK -- MOST
LIKELY JUST BREAK IT >> Jimmy: YES, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO
THAT'S WHY FAMILIES GET TOGETHER DID YOU -- YEAH.
>> EXACTLY UNTIL IT FINALLY HAS SUCH BAD MEMORIES, WE CAN NEVER GO BACK
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ARE YOU -- ARE YOU COOKING?
>> DEFINE COOKING. LIKE, WITH AN OVEN NOT AS MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ] NO I DON'T -- THESE LEADS ME IN A
A CORNER, LIKE, WITH SOME GREENS AND A KNIFE AND I'M JUST CHOPPING
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> NO, THIS IS SOMETHING I WANT TO EAT
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> THAT'S WHAT I'M IN CHARGE OF BECAUSE I'M A TERRIBLE COOK.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE COOK >> YEAH, I -- BUT -- DO YOU
COOK >> Jimmy: I LOVE COOKING >> BULL HONKY LOGNA.
[ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A WORD AT
ALL. >> I KNOW, BUT I ALMOST -- >> Jimmy: I'M A FANTASTIC COOK
>> I KNOW, BUT I ALMOST -- I WAS TRYING -- NOT YOU. HERE'S -- HERE'S WHY
I COOK ALL DAY LET SOMEONE ELSE CLEAN UP. THAT'S ALL I WANT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO BE DOING NOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> I'M DISH-DOGGING. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU GOT TO DO
THE DISHES >> YOU'RE A DISH DOG >> Jimmy: I DON'T MIND DOING
THE DISHES >> YOU KNOW WHY? I KNOW WHY
BECAUSE EVERYBODY GETS A LITTLE BUZZED, AND SOMEONE GETS A A LITTLE ANGRY AT THE TABLE AND
YOU'RE LIKE, "DISHES?" >> Jimmy: GOTTA GO DO THE DISHES
>> GOTTA GO DO THE DISHES. >> Jimmy: YEAH, LET'S GO YEAH
>> LET'S GO DO THE DISHES. >> Jimmy: SORRY, GOTTA GO. I GOT TO SPLIT
>> SORRY, UNCLE HENRY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> UNCLE HENRY, AND YOU'RE
INCREDIBLY - >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU GO OVER THERE.
YEAH >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND YOU GO, "YEAH,
I'M JUST GOING TO GO DO THE DISHES." >> UH-HUH.
UH-HUH >> Jimmy: AND YOU GOT TO CUT ME TIME
ALONE TIME SCRUBBING AWAY I DON'T MIND
>> AND NO ONE GETS MAD AT YOU. THEY THINK YOU'RE A HERO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE LIKE, "JIMMY, YOU KNOW - >> Jimmy: "HE WENT AND DID THE
DISHES WHAT A GREAT GUY." >> HE'S JUST THE SAME AS HE
ALWAYS WAS >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. >> HE HASN'T CHANGED A DAY
>> Jimmy: YEAH HOW ARE -- HOW ARE YOUR KIDS DOING?
I KNOW YOU HAVE TEENAGERS. YOU HAVE TWINS >> HOW OLD -- WAIT, HOW OLD ARE
YOUR KIDS? >> Jimmy: THEY'RE 8 AND ALMOST 7.
>> YOU HAVE TWO GIRLS THOUGH >> Jimmy: YEAH, TWO LITTLE GIRLS.
>> TWO GIRLS OKAY, SO I SPEAK ITALIAN AND FRENCH AND A LITTLE SPANISH BUT
I HAVE TEENAGERS AND I DON'T SPEAK GRUNT. [ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU SPEAK GRUNT ARE YOU FLUENT IN GRUNT? >> Jimmy: NO, NOT YET.
>> NO, IT'S LIKE, "HEY, BUDDY. I HEARD YOU GOT AN 'A' ON YOUR TEST."
"UH. "HEY, WHERE WERE YOU ALL AFTERNOON WHEN I COULDN'T FIND
YOU? YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN COME SIT DOWN.
>> "UH." >> Jimmy: "UH. >> IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING
THERE'S NO VARIATION >> Jimmy: DO YOU EMBARRASS YOUR KIDS
>> OH, I TRY TO. I MEAN, DO YOU >> Jimmy: I'M FEEL LIKE I'M
STARTING TO GET THAT PHASE NOW WHERE THEY'RE NOT LAUGHING AT ALL OF MY JOKES LIKE THEY USED
TO >> YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, THANKS >> Jimmy: I MISS MY, "OH, WOW. YOU'RE ACTUALLY -- YOU USED TO
YOU'RE MY BEST AUDIENCE," LIKE - >> NO, JIMMY
NO THEY HATE US >> Jimmy: THEY DON'T -- THEY
DO >> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'LL WATCH THE OTHER JIMMY
BEFORE THEY WATCH YOU EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. I GET IT ON TV
[ LAUGHTER ] MY KIDS HAVE NEVER WATCHED "MODERN FAMILY."
>> Jimmy: REALLY >> NEVER >> Jimmy: REALLY
>> THEY HAVE WATCHED ALL OF "THE OFFICE. [ LAUGHTER ]
EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF "THE OFFICE." [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY WERE WATCHING AND GO, "UM, THAT IS THE COOLEST FAMILY." YOU KNOW, I --
>> Jimmy: I WAS IN A PRETTY COOL THING >> I'VE BEEN ON TV A LITTLE
WHILE. >> Jimmy: I'VE WON EMMYS I'VE -- YEAH
>> NOT INTERESTED. >> Jimmy: THAT'S HILARIOUS >> THAT IT -- THEY ARE
EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED OF IT. AND THEY DON'T -- THE OLDEST, THE GRUNTER, THE REAL GRUNTER
AND I LOVE YOU ALL OVER, BUT HE WON'T BE BRING ANYBODY INTO THE HOUSE, BECAUSE HE SAYS, AND I
QUOTE, "YOU'LL JUST TALK TO THEM." [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE, "I'LL TALK TO THEM?" AND THAT IS MY WORST OFFENSE [ LAUGHTER ]
I WILL SPEAK TO THEM >> Jimmy: "YOU KNOW WHAT DON'T -- DON'T TALK TO ANYBODY
WHEN I HAVE PEOPLE OVER. >> DON'T -- JUST DON'T TALK TO THEM
>> Jimmy: "JUST DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE." >> I'M LIKE, "WHAT HAPPENED TO
STACY'S MOM? SHE WAS HOT. THEY LOVED GOING OVER THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, STACY'S MOM. >> WHY CAN'T I BE STACY?
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. >> I'M NOT EVEN PUSHING THIS >> Jimmy: BUT DUDE -- DO THEY
LOVE THE DOG YOU GOT A DOG. I SAW -- I FOLLOW YOU ON THE
SOCIALS. LOOK AT THIS CUTE DOG. >> THIS WAS MY -- THAT'S
GERTRUDE, GERDY, GERTRUDESTEIN [ AUDIENCE AWS ] SHE IS MY --
>> Jimmy: GERTRUDESTEIN. OH, NO >> SHE IS MY RETIREMENT GIFT TO
MYSELF >> Jimmy: RETIREMENT FROM -- >> DATING.
>> Jimmy: OH, FROM DATING. YEAH, IT'S DONE. I'M DONE
>> Jimmy: GONNA -- >> THIS IS SHUT. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> SHUT IT DOWN. >> Jimmy: REALLY >> YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW, BUT YOU CAN'T -- YOU CAN'T GO OUT ALL NIGHT.
YOU CAN'T STAY OUT THERE ARE NO SLEEPOVERS AND NO ONE WANTS TO SLEEP IN THE BED
WITH THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WELL, IS THAT, LIKE,
A LITTLE PUG LIKE A PUG MIX >> SHE'S A -- SHE'S A CHUG
A CHIHUAHUA PUG. >> Jimmy: A CHUG IS THE CUTEST NAME
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT >> I DIDN'T EITHER I THINK IT STRAIGHT UP
>> Jimmy: THAT IS SO CUTE. >> YEAH, AND I DIDN'T -- I SAID -- I'M JUST -- PEOPLE WERE
TRYING TO SET ME UP, AND - >> Jimmy: YOU'RE DONE WITH DATING
>> I'M DONE WITH IT. AND I WAS LIKE -- I WENT ON A DATE WITH A GUY WHO KEPT
SAYING I HAD TO GO TO HIS HOUSE BECAUSE HE HAD A DOG AND I WAS LIKE, "I NEED TO GET
A DOG. I GOING TO -- I'M GOING TO CONTROL THIS NARRATIVE
I'M THE ONE WITH A DOG AND I'M LEAVING THE HOUSE. SO TOO BAD, HOW SAD.
>> Jimmy: BUT NO -- BUT YOU WERE SO FUN. I -- I -- I SAW THAT YOU WENT
TO A -- YOU WENT TO A HARRY STYLES CONCERT DID YOU BRING YOUR KIDS TO
THAT >> WHY WOULD I BRING MY KIDS [ LAUGHTER ]
JIMMY, THEY'RE GOING TO RUIN IT [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY WOULD RUIN HARRY STYLES WHEN YOU'RE IN THE HARRY STYLES -- I MEAN, FIRST
OF ALL, LADIES, HARRY STYLES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I'M SURE HIS MUSIC IS SPLENDID
BUT LADIES [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WENT AN ADULT FEMALE
FRIEND AND WE PRETENDED THAT HE SANG TO US EVERY SONG. EVERY SONG
WE'RE LIKE, "HE DATES AN OLDER WOMAN, BUT IF HE'S DONE WITH HER AT ANY POINT -
[ WHISTLE HARRY! >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
SHE'S GOING TO THIS CONCERT TO MEET - >> "SWEET CREATURE."
YES. >> Jimmy: DID YOU -- DID YOU MEET HIM
[ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, BECAUSE JIMMY, YOU CAN NEVER MEET YOUR, LIKE, SEXUAL
HEROES, BASICALLY. [ LAUGHTER ] CAN YOU?
HAVE YOU EVER MET ANYBODY THAT YOU WERE LIKE -- LIKE, YOU WERE CATERING BO DEREK?
>> Jimmy: SURE >> AND THEN YOU MEET HER AND YOU'RE LIKE, "SHE'S SO NICE OR
HUMAN. SHE'S NOT -- SHE'S NO LONGER - >> Jimmy: OH, I SEE.
YOU WANT TO -- YOU WANT TO KEEP THE FANDOM GOING >> YEAH, YOU GOT TO KEEP THAT
DISTANCE YOU GOT TO KEEP THAT -- THAT SPARKLY MAGIC.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU -- HOW -- I -- I JUST SAW YOU, BY THE WAY, ON "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM.
YOU WERE SO FUNNY. >> THANK YOU [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW -- DID YOU KNOW LARRY DAVID BEFORE THAT
>> NO, AND I -- I'M NOT SURE I KNOW HIM ANY BETTER NOW. IT WAS DURING COVID AND THE
MAN'S A GERMAPHOBE SO THERE WAS, LIKE, A MOUSE THAT HAD A MASK WITH ANOTHER
BABY MASK IN FRONT OF IT [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S LIKE, "HI."
>> Jimmy: "SO LARRY DAVID. >> "I'M JULIE AND 13." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT MADE GREAT SPACE WORK RIGHT THERE YOU DID --
>> DID YOU LIKE IT >> Jimmy: YOU WENT UP AND AROUND IN THE MASK
IT WAS GREAT IT WAS REALLY WELL DONE. >> THANK YOU
>> Jimmy: I -- >> I DON'T THINK -- BUT I -- I -- I -- HE WAS SOMEBODY THAT
I'M ALWAYS GLAD GOING. >> Jimmy: IT WAS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST -- YOU WERE SO FUNNY.
YOU WERE GREAT TOGETHER. >> THANK YOU I DIDN'T GET TO SPEND A LOT OF
TIME WITH HIM, WHICH WAS GOOD, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HE'S HOT. HE'S A HOT DUDE.
I LIKED HIM. AND HE'S MARRIED >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS >> Jimmy: I DO >> I'M SINGLE AND I WAS RETIRED
FROM DATING BUT I DON'T NEED -- I DON'T NEED TO BE AROUND HOT SINGLE DUDES RIGHT NOW LIKE
LARRY DAVID. >> Jimmy: NO YEAH, NO
>> IT'S GOING TO RUIN MY STREAK >> Jimmy: NO
YOU GOT -- THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE GERTRUDE >> THAT'S GERDY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING -- SO YOU HAVE GERDY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
YEAH >> THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
LOOK AT THAT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HEY, I -- I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR NEW MOVIE AND OTHER THINGS WHEN WE COME BACK.
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: MORE WITH JULIE BOWEN.
COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU ROOTS. WELCOME BACK WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH
JULIE BOWEN, EVERYBODY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE "MODERN FAMILY" ENDED. THAT WAS -
YOU HAD A VERY SUCCESSFUL HIT SHOW I MEAN, THAT WAS 12 YEARS?
>> 11 YEARS. 11 YEARS >> Jimmy: 11 YEARS
>> 11 YEARS. BUT THEN -- BUT NO ONE SAW ANYBODY, 'CAUSE IT ENDED, AND
IT FELT IN A -- IN A A NARCISSISTIC ACTOR WAY, WHICH I AM NOT
>> Jimmy: NO >> THAT, LIKE -- WE WENT RIGHT INTO LOCKDOWN.
WE ENDED, AND WE WENT INTO LOCKDOWN AND IT'S LIKE NOBODY SAW
ANYBODY FOR THE NEXT, I DON'T KNOW, 18 MONTHS OR SO. SO IT DID FEEL LIKE THE WHOLE
WORLD WAS SAD. >> Jimmy: DO YOU -- DO YOU TALK TO THEM, LIKE FACETIME THEM OR
ZOOM OR - >> OH, YEAH.
WE HAD A GROUP FACETIME -- A A WHILE AGO. AND WE GOT TOGETHER FOR
JESSE TYLER'S BIRTHDAY WHICH, SOFIA ANNOUNCED "OH, I LOVE ATG.
IT'S MY FAROVITE JOB EVER. [ LAUGHTER ] AND I SAID, "BUT YOU MEAN AFTER
'MODERN FAMILY,' RIGHT?" SHE GOES "NO." [ LAUGHTER ]
SHE INSULTED US. I WAS WOUNDED. SHE'S MY SISTER.
AND SHE'S LIKE "NO." I LOVE HER SO MUCH I MISS ALL OF --
>> Jimmy: BUT, IT'S SO WILD. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE REALLY UNDERSTANDS HOW MUCH TIME YOU
SPEND TOGETHER ESPECIALLY -- YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A SHOW GO FOUR
YEARS. BUT YOU SPEND EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY.
>> IT'S TWO -- TWO ROUNDS OF COLLEGE AND A LITTLE GRAD SCHOOL
11 -- 11 YEARS >> Jimmy: IT IS -- IT REALLY IS
THAT'S A GREAT WAY OF PUTTING IT >> AND WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT
GOING BACK TO VISIT THEIR BUDDIES FROM COLLEGE AND I'M LIKE -- TWICE COLLEGE,
PLUS A LITTLE -- LITTLE GRAD SCHOOL >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LIVE WITH
THESE -- >> I MISS THEM SO MUCH >> Jimmy: AW
>> IT REALLY HURTS ARE YOU GOING TO BRING THEM OUT RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE I'D BE REALLY
HAPPY. >> Jimmy: OH, NO, NO I'M NOT.
SORRY -- I'M NOT DOING THAT -- NO, I'M NOT SURPRISING >> YOU'RE HAD AN OPPORTUNITY
HERE >> Jimmy: I KNOW I DID HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO REUNITE THE CAST
OF "MODERN FAMILY. BUT I'M GOING TO SAVE IT I'LL DO IT
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: I'LL DO IT NEXT TIME >> THANK YOU
>> Jimmy: I -- WE HAVE THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "MIXTAPE.
>> OH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOUR NEW MOVIE COMES OUT DECEMBER 3rd ON NETFLIX.
>> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: IT'S FUNNY IT'S HEARTWARMING.
IT'S EMOTIONAL >> IT'S A -- YOU KNOW, IT'S A FAMILY MOVIE
APPARENTLY, THAT'S MY JAM. BUT, I'M SERIOUS, 'CAUSE I HAVE BROWN HAIR
THAT'S HOW YOU - >> Jimmy: OH THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE
SERIOUS? >> I'M SERIOUS VERY SERIOUS
[ LAUGHTER ] BROWN HAIR THEY -- I THINK THEY WANTED
PEOPLE TO FORGET ABOUT THE CLAIRE DUNPHY OF IT ALL. SO, I HAVE BROWN HAIR.
AND THEY GAVE ME A POSTAL WORKER HAT AS -- THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A JOKE
THEY WERE LIKE, "SHE'LL NEVER WEAR IT. EVERY SCENE, I'M LIKE, "PUT IT
ON." I LOVE IT, WITH THE FLAPS AND EVERYTHING
>> Jimmy: YES. >> YEAH. AND I GOT TO DRIVE A POSTAL
TRUCK. >> Jimmy: THAT'S ONE OF MY DREAMS
>> I KNOW. RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ]
IT WAS - >> Jimmy: NO, I LOVE THOSE SO, THEY HAVE NO DOORS
>> THEY HAVE NO DOORS -- >> Jimmy: STEERING WHEEL'S ON THE OTHER SIDE
>> IT'S DEATH ALL DAY LONG THIS THING'S LIKE THE LONG - >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH
THEY'RE REBELS OF UNITED STATES SOCIETY. >> THEY'RE ALLOWED HIGHWAY
ACCESS THEY SHOULD NOT. >> Jimmy: THEY DON'T HAVE
RULES. THEY MAKE THEIR OWN RULES. >> YEAH.
AND YOU'RE DRIVING ESSENTIALLY WITH, LIKE, A GOLF CART. >> Jimmy: YOU WANT TO WEAR
SHORTS WEAR SHORTS. THEY CAN DO IT
>> YOU CAN WEAR SHORTS YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT YOU CAN STOP AND PARK IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE STREET NO PROBLEM >> Jimmy: YEAH
PEOPLE LOVE IT THEY WELCOME IT. >> DO WHATEVER YOU WANT IN THAT
THING. >> Jimmy: THEY GO, "OH, MY GOD HE'S HERE.
THEY'RE HERE WITH THE MAIL THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE I LOVE IT.
>> THEY'RE SO EXCITED. AND IT'S JUST BILLS. >> Jimmy: YEAH -
>> I KNOW, BUT - >> Jimmy: BILLS AND MAGAZINES, YEAH
EXACTLY, YEAH. >> BUT YEAH, I PLAY A GRANDMOTHER, A YOUTHFUL
GRANDMOTHER, IN IT >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND IT IS REALLY THE STORY
OF GEMMA ALLEN, THIS YOUNG ACTRESS. WHO IS -- HAS LOST HER MOM, MY
DAUGHTER, AND IS TRYING TO, KIND OF, PUT TOGETHER THE PIECES OF WHO HER MOM WAS
THROUGH THIS MIXTAPE BUT IT'S ALL '90s. PACIFIC NORTHWEST.
IT'S YOUR JAM, JIMMY >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LOVE ALL THE '90s STUFF
>> IT'S -- I KNOW. IT'S STRIPED SWEATERS AND SHAGGY -
>> Jimmy: YES. >> AND, LIKE, COMBAT BOOTS >> Jimmy: YES, I LOVE ALL THAT
STUFF. >> YES [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT -- ALSO, CONGRATS ON YOUR MOVIE, "THE FALLOUT.
>> OH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: BECAUSE I KNOW IT JUST PREMIERED AT THE SOUTH BY
SOUTHWEST -- >> IT WON! >> Jimmy: IT WON, BUDDY.
>> IT WON SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND I -- THANK YOU
* >> Jimmy: NOT BAD. NOT TOO SHABBY
>> I WISH I HAD MORE TO DO WITH IT I'M IN THAT FOR LIKE THREE HOT
MINUTES. BUT IT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL STORY.
IT'S REALLY JENNA ORTEGA'S MOVIE. AND -- IT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL
IT'S ABOUT A SCHOOL SHOOTING SO IT'S SUPER HEAVY. BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD
AND IT'S MAYBE THE ONE THING THAT'LL MAKE MY KIDS TALK TO ME
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, THEY - >> THEY STILL WON'T.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU LOVE -- YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
OF "MIXTAPE", THOUGH HERE'S JULIE BOWEN IN "MIXTAPE" ON NETFLIX
AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE WAS LIKE
DID SHE LIKE SLURPEES? WAS SHE TICKLISH OVER OR UNDER FOR THE TOILET
ROLL >> SHE DID LIKE SLURPEES >> OKAY!
>> YEAH. THAT'S GREAT SLURPEES -- ME TOO
THAT'S A GREAT START >> GOOD. >> WHAT ELSE YOU GOT
LIKE -- WHAT DID HER VOICE SOUND LIKE >> UM, HMM
IT WAS A REALLY LONG TIME AGO, HONEY. LET'S -- LET'S JUST LET THIS
ONE GO OKAY [ APPLAUSE ]
>> I'M CRYING. >> Jimmy: YEAH JULIE BOWEN, EVERYBODY
"MIXTAPE" PREMIERES -- >> VERY SOON THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: -- DECEMBER 3rd ON NETFLIX. KEKE PALMER JOINS US AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN
EMMY-WINNING PERFORMER, WHO HAS WRITTEN A COLLECTION OF FICTIONAL ESSAYS CALLED
"SOUTHERN BELLE INSULTS," WHICH ARE AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON ORIGINAL STORIES
PLEASE WELCOME KEKE PALMER
I'M ABOUT TO SIT DOWN WITHOUT GIVING YOU A SHOW, TONIGHT [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD >> I'M LIKE -- >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, I WON'T -
I'M NOT -- I'M NOT GOING TO - >> YOU KNOW WHAT
>> Jimmy: OH >> BOOM. >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO
OH, THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT * CRISIS -
>> CRISIS -- >> Jimmy: CRISIS AVERTED >> CRISIS AVERTED.
YES! WHAT'S UP, VIRGO >> Jimmy: WHAT'S UP, VIRGO
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW
HOW ARE YOU DOING, PAL >> I'M SO GOOD IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU
IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE IN NEW YORK >> Jimmy: DOESN'T THAT FEEL
GOOD WITH THE AUDIENCE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT FOOD --
"FOODTASTIC. >> YES "FOODTASTIC.
SHOUT OUT TO DISNEY PLUS >> Jimmy: YEAH, SO, HOW DID THIS COME ABOUT?
>> SO, YOU KNOW I WORKED WITH DISNEY SINCE I WAS A KID >> Jimmy: YEP.
AND THEN I ENDED UP DOING "SSK," THE THIRD HOUR -- "GOOD MORNING AMERICA.
THAT'S WHERE WE FIRST MET. >> Jimmy: YEP. >> AND THEN THEY HAD
"FOODTASTIC" COMING UP FOR DISNEY PLUS, WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH A SHOW ABOUT FOOD ART
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE, YOU KNOW, A A USUAL FOOD COMPETITION SHOW. THIS SHOW IS ACTUALLY ABOUT NOT
EATING ANY OF THE FOOD, WHICH I WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED BY >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT CREATING - YOU KNOW, TURNING FOOD INTO
REAL CONSTRUCTION PIECES LIKE, THE KIND OF ARTWORK THAT THEY'RE DOING ON HERE IS WHAT
YOU WOULD SEE IN, LIKE, A MUSEUM >> Jimmy: IT'S -- LOOK AT
THIS -- THIS IS A -- AND IT'S BASED ON LIKE CLASSIC DISNEY FILMS.
>> YES >> Jimmy: THIS IS A CAR MADE OUT OF PRODUCE
>> YES ALL DISNEY IPs AND IT'S REALLY FUN BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, I ALSO GOT A CHANCE TO, KIND OF, CREATE MY OWN CHARACTERS WITHIN IT
WHICH WAS A TOTALLY COOL THING I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D LET ME DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
BUT I GOT TO CREATE -- >> Jimmy: IS THAT WHERE -- IS THAT WHERE "SOUTHERN BELLE
INSULTS" CAME FROM >> SO, "SOUTHERN BELLE INSULTS" CAME FROM MY INSTAGRAM
SO, I CREATED THAT CHARACTER WITH MY BUSINESS PARTNER, MAX WYATT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND, PRETTY MUCH, WE WERE JUST HANGING OUT ONE DAY
AND HE -- YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I'LL SLIP INTO A VERY OLD SCHOOL TYPE OF TONE.
AND HE WAS LIKE, "THERE'S A CHARACTER IN THAT. AND THEN, YOU KNOW, LO AND
BEHOLD, WE CREATE "SOUTHERN BELLE INSULTS," WHICH WAS A SKETCH THAT CREATED
LADY MISS JACQUELINE, THE CHARACTER. >> Jimmy: YEAH,
LADY MISS JACQUELINE AND WHAT -- WHAT ACTUALLY IS A A SOUTHERN BELLE INSULT?
>> OKAY. A SOUTHERN BELLE INSULT IS LIKE AN INSULT THAT YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW IF YOU SHOULD BE MAD AT LIKE, BECAUSE THE WAY THAT THE SOUTHERN BELLE DOES IT IS VERY,
LIKE, KIND OF SLICK AND SLY, LIKE - OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE
"OH, YOUR WEDDING DRESS WAS TRULY DELIGHTFUL THOUGH I, PERSONALLY, WOULDN'T
HAVE THE GALL TO WEAR SOMETHING SO UNBECOMING, UNATTRACTIVE, AND UNNECESSARILY LINED IN
TRAMP LACE BUT ON YOU, IT LOOKED LOVELY, TRULY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU GO, "WAIT, WHAT? OH, THANK YOU!
THANK YOU? >> AND DARLING, YOU'RE LIKE, "WAIT A MINUTE, DO I NEED TO
START FIGHTING?" >> Jimmy: FUNNY ESSAYS YOU CAN READ IT ON AMAZON.COM.
YOU CAN EITHER READ THE ESSAYS, OR YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE GREAT KEKE PALMER DO ALL OF THESE
DIFFERENT -- YOU DO FIVE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS >> YES, I DO FIVE DIFFERENT
CHARACTERS ON THE AUDIO. SO, I MEAN, I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH IT.
IT DEFINITELY FELT A LITTLE MANIACAL IN THERE BY MYSELF, DOING IT
BUT IT WAS STILL A LOT OF FUN, AND HOPEFULLY, YOU ENJOY IT. >> Jimmy: DO YOU DO ANY
IMPRESSIONS? >> I DO SOME IMPRESSIONS I DO DO SOME IMPRESSIONS
ONE -- YOU KNOW, IT'S SO FUNNY, 'CAUSE ONE OF YOUR GIRLS IS MY GIRL, QUEEN LATIFAH.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH LOVE HER >> AND QUEEN LATIFAH, EVER
SINCE I WAS A KID, I WOULD ALWAYS DO THIS ANGELA BASSETT IMPRESSION FOR HER
AND, LITERALLY, EVERY TIME WE WORK TOGETHER, SHE'S ALWAYS LIKE, "DO THE ANGELA
DO THE ANGELA! [ LAUGHTER ] SO I CAN SHOW IT TO YOU.
OKAY >> Jimmy: THIS IS ANGELA BASSETT
>> ANGELA BASSETT. SO, OKAY, I DO ONE WHERE -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS HAVE
SEEN IT, IT'S THE "AMERICAN DREAM," THE MICHAEL JACKSON STORY, WHERE SHE PLAYS
KATHERINE JACKSON. AND IT'S THE MOMENT WHERE SHE FINDS OUT JOE CHEATED ON HER
AND HE COMES IN. "YOU A LIE AND YOU A CHEAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I DON'T WANT YOU, I DON'T WANT YOU
I DON'T WANT YOU." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WOW! I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN ANGELA -
>> IT'S ALL IN THE LIPS AND THE SHOULDERS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S A LOT OF --
THAT'S SO GOOD >> THANKS. >> Jimmy: THAT IS SO GOOD!
MAN, YOU'RE SO FUNNY HOW ABOUT ANY MUSICAL IMPRESSIONS?
>> MUSICAL IMPRESSIONS OKAY, OKAY YOU KNOW, ONE OF MY FRIENDS, I
DO A LITTLE DIBBLE DABBLING OF SHAKIRA. I CAN DO A LITTLE SOMETHING.
LET ME GET MY -- OKAY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DO YOU NEED -- DO YOU NEED A MIC OR ANYTHING >> WELL, I MEAN IF YOU GOT A
A MIC, I'LL TAKE IT! >> Jimmy: WE ALWAYS HAVE A A MICROPHONE HERE.
>> OH, YOU ARE PREPARED, JIMMY >> Jimmy: WE ALWAYS HAVE THEM. WE GOT WHATEVER YOU NEED
[ CHEERS ] I GOT EVERYTHING >> OKAY, HERE WE GO.
* THIS MUSIC IS VERY DAUNTING. >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS, YEAH.
>> OKAY. * WHEREVER WHEREVER WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER *
* I'LL BE THERE AND YOU'LL BE NEAR * * AND THAT'S TH
DEAL MY DEAR * * THERE OVE HEREUNDER *
* YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WONDER * * WE CAN ALWAYS PLAY BY EAR *
* AND THAT'S TH DEAL MY DEAR * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHOA ARE YOU KIDDING ME
ARE YOU KIDDING ME, THAT'S - >> YOU GUYS WERE GREAT >> Jimmy: YOU'RE PHENOMENAL!
THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE! DO YOU DO ANY MORE OR THAT'S - >> OKAY, WELL, I MEAN, THE HAIR
IS GIVING CHER I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE CHER, REAL QUICK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE --
I MEAN -- THIS IS LIKE KEKE PALMER SHOW HERE WE GO
>> STOP IT >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. >> OKAY, LET ME SEE --
* DO YOU BELIEV IN LIFE AFTER LOVE * [ CHEERS ]
* FEEL SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE ME SAYING * * I REALLY DON'T THIN
I'M STRONG ENOUG NO * * DO YOU BELIEVE IN
IN LIFE AFTER LOVE * * AFTER LOV AFTER LOVE *
>> Jimmy: KEKE PALMER, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT
THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "SOUTHERN BELLE INSULTS" IS
AVAILABLE, NOW, ON AMAZON ORIGINAL STORIES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM ZOE WEES. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING HER NEW
SINGLE, "THAT'S HOW IT GOES," A LITTLE HELP FROM THE ROOTS, PLEASE WELCOME ZOE WEES!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* I'VE BEEN PICKING MYSEL OFF OF THE FLOOR EVERY DAMN NIGHT
I START A WAR * * I GOT ALL THESE PROBLEM ON MY MIND
I'VE BEEN TRYING HAR TO SURVIVE * * THIS WORLD IS CRUEL
YOU LOVE THEN YOU LOSE UNTIL YOUR HEART STOPS * * ALL MY LIFE
ALL MY LIF ALL MY LIF YEAH, I'VE BEEN TOLD *
* THAT'S HOW IT THAT'S HOW IT GOES, YEAH YOU GOTTA FIGH
ON YOUR OWN * * WHO NEEDS ENEMIES FRIENDS LIKE THESE
WHEN I NEED THEM THEY DON'T CALL * * THEY ALL GOT THEIR REASON
THEIR DEMONS THEY DON'T KNOW * * DEVIL BY MY SID
TRYNA TAKE MY LIFE SOCIAL CONTROL BUT THAT'S HOW IT GOES *
* THAT'S HOW IT GOE THAT'S HOW IT GOES THAT'S HOW IT GOES *
* I FEEL LIKE I'M WALKING ON FIR ANYTHING THAT KEEP
ME ALIVE M * WANT TO VISIT HER TONIGHT *
* I KNOW THE DEVI PRIDE IN A SIDE * * THIS WORLD IS CRUEL
YOU LOVE THEN YOU LOSE UNTIL YOUR HEART STOPS * * ALL MY LIFE
ALL MY LIF ALL MY LIF YEAH, I'VE BEEN TOLD *
* BUT THAT'S HOW IT THAT'S HOW IT GOES, YEAH YOU GOTTA FIGH
ON YOUR OWN * * WHO NEEDS ENEMIES FRIENDS LIKE THESE
WHEN I NEED THEM THEY DON'T CALL * * THEY ALL GOT THEIR REASON
THEIR DEMONS THEY DON'T KNOW * * DEVIL BY MY SID
TRYNA TAKE MY LIFE SOCIAL CONTROL BUT THAT'S HOW IT GOES *
* THAT'S HOW IT GOE THAT'S HOW IT GOES THAT'S HOW IT GOES
THAT'S HOW IT GOES * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: ZOE WEES "THAT'S HOW IT GOES" IS OUT NOW.
MY THANKS TO JULIE BOWEN, KEKE PALMER, ZOE WEES ONCE AGAIN!
AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *