1 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,412 Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:19,652 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:19,652 --> 00:00:22,822 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - MICHAEL CHE, 4 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:26,960 ED SHEERAN MARTHA STEWART MUSICAL GUEST SUMMER WALKER, 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:33,733 AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1546 6 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:40,040 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:42,342 --> 00:01:01,294 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:05,098 Jimmy: OH MY GOODNESS THAT'S A CROWD RIGHT THERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,267 WELCOME. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," LADIES AND 10 00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:11,237 GENTLEMEN. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AT HOME 11 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:15,842 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GUYS, AFTER SEVEN MONTHS OF NEGOTIATIONS, LATE FRIDAY 12 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:23,683 NIGHT, THE HOUSE FINALLY PASSED PRESIDENT BIDEN'S INFRASTRUCTURE DEAL. 13 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:28,955 YEAH SO THAT'S OBVIOUSLY -- YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 14 00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,591 THAT'S -- THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS WEEKEND. 15 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:31,624 EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS WEEKEND. 16 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,728 BIG BIRD ANNOUNCED HE WAS GETTING VACCINATED AGAINST 17 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:38,498 COVID. [ LAUGHTER ] BIG BIRD GOT HIS COVID SHOT 18 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,633 OVER THE WEEKEND BIG BIRD ANNOUNCES HE'S BEEN VACCINATED 19 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:44,471 BIG BIRD GOT THE JAB. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SOMEHOW THAT WAS THE 20 00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:49,376 BIG STORY THIS WEEKEND BIG BIRD TWEETING THAT HE GOT VACCINATED 21 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:54,414 YEP. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A BIG DAY ACTUALLY FOR BIG 22 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,216 BIRD BECAUSE IMMEDIATELY AFTER GETTING VACCINATED, HE WAS SIGNED BY THE GREEN BAY 23 00:01:56,216 --> 00:02:00,754 PACKERS. SO THAT IS AMAZING THAT'S AMAZING TO SEE THAT 24 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:07,627 CAREER [ APPLAUSE ] SOME MORE COVID NEWS 25 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,195 TODAY, THE U.S. LIFTED THE TRAVEL BAN ON VACCINATED TOURISTS FROM MORE THAN 26 00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:15,301 30 COUNTRIES OF COURSE, ALL THE AIRPORTS ARE GOING TO BE SLAMMED. 27 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,138 FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE LIKE, "WE'RE GOING TO NEED MORE DUCT TAPE." 28 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,207 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT TRAVELERS ARE THRILLED TO BE 29 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,076 BACK IT'S THE FIRST TIME PEOPLE EVER CRIED TEARS OF JOY AT THE SIGHT 30 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:28,415 OF LaGUARDIA [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, NEW YORK CITY IS 31 00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:33,086 EXPECTING TENS OF THOUSANDS OF TOURISTS AND THEY'RE ALL GOING TO WALK IN FRONT OF YOU. 32 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:40,226 [ LAUGHTER ] 19 MONTHS FOR A TRAVEL BAN IS A LONG TIME. 33 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,828 YEAH, YOUR FRIEND WHO LEFT TO STUDY ABROAD IN JANUARY 2020 ACTUALLY CAME BACK 34 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:47,100 SPEAKING FLUENT ITALIAN. [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, AS I MENTIONED ON, FRIDAY 35 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:53,673 NIGHT, THE HOUSE PASSED BIDEN'S INFRASTRUCTURE BILL. THE BILL TOOK FOREVER TO PASS. 36 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,176 WHEN IT WAS OVER, THEY WRAPPED BIDEN IN A FOIL MARATHON BLANKET AND GAVE HIM A MEDAL 37 00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:01,548 [ LAUGHTER ] ONLY 13 HOUSE REPUBLICANS VOTED FOR THE BILL 38 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:04,050 WHILE THE REST SAID, "WE THINK THAT IF YOU'RE DRIVING OVER A COLLAPSED BRIDGE, YOU CAN 39 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:08,421 JUST SPEED UP AND YOU'LL PROBABLY MAKE IT." [ LAUGHTER ] 40 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:09,856 YOU GUYS EVER SEEN THE DOCUMENTARY "THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS? 41 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:15,762 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS, WALMART JUST ANNOUNCED THAT IT IS NOW 42 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:21,668 USING FULLY DRIVERLESS TRUCKS TO DELIVER GROCERIES TO CUSTOMERS. 43 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,837 Steve: OOH. Jimmy: IT'S PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY 44 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:27,107 THE DRIVERLESS TRUCKS WILL PICK UP ITEMS FROM WALMART AND THEN DELIVER THEM RIGHT THROUGH YOUR 45 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:31,277 LIVING ROOM WALL [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT 46 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,981 OH, YEAH! Jimmy: OH, YEAH Steve: OH, YEAH 47 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,550 Jimmy: YEAH WALMART IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU'LL FIND CUTTING-EDGE 48 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:43,189 TECHNOLOGY, AND ALSO A BAREFOOT GUY BUYING MARGARITA MIX [ LAUGHTER ] 49 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:47,127 "I'M SURPRISED IT'S NOT MORE PACKED HERE AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING. 50 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,762 HEY, I SAW THAT, GUYS, RESTAURANTS ARE FACING A A SHORTAGE BECAUSE OF SUPPLY 51 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:54,768 CHAIN ISSUES OF TAKEOUT CONTAINERS Steve: OH 52 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,536 Jimmy: YEAH, THAT WILL BE FUN WHEN THE UBER EATS GUY IS LIKE, "HERE'S YOUR FRIES 53 00:03:56,536 --> 00:04:03,209 [ LAUGHTER ] PUT IT ON YOUR LAP OR YOU WANNA -- 54 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,878 BUT THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM FOR McDONALD'S BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY MAKE McRIBS OUT OF 55 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:11,184 TAKEOUT CONTAINERS Steve: REALLY [ LAUGHTER ] 56 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,687 Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I HEARD. THAT'S WHAT I HEARD. I DON'T KNOW 57 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,056 HEY, I SAW THAT IN A RECENT INSTAGRAM POST, VIN DIESEL CALLED DWAYNE JOHNSON HIS, 58 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:21,895 QUOTE, "LITTLE BROTHER." AND ASKED HIM TO RETURN TO THE "FAST AND FURIOUS" FRANCHISE 59 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,863 YEAH, IT TURNS OUT VIN DIESEL ALSO LEFT A VOICEMAIL TO FOLLOW UP WITH HIM, AND WE ACTUALLY 60 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:28,234 GOT OUR HANDS ON IT. Steve: OH, MY GOSH. Jimmy: YOU WANT TO HEAR IT? 61 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:32,172 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I MEAN, THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE LET'S TAKE A LISTEN. 62 00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,973 LET'S TAKE A LISTEN. VIN DIESEL 63 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:34,874 BRO, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW 64 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,710 MY LAST POST, BUT WHEN WE MADE "FAST AND FURIOUS," WE DIDN'T JUST MADE A MOVIE, WE MADE A 65 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:44,951 A FAMILY [ LAUGHTER ] AND WE NEVER WALK AWAY FROM 66 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:49,422 FAMILY FAMILY ISN'T JUST WHO YOU'RE RELATED TO 67 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,726 SOMETIMES FAMILY IS PEOPLE YOU MADE A MOVIE WITH A FEW YEARS AGO. 68 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:58,498 [ LAUGHTER ] THE DIRECTOR IS LIKE THE DAD THE ACTORS ARE THE KIDS. 69 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:04,637 THE SCRIPT IS THE MOM. THE CAMERA IS LIKE OUR GRANDDAD 70 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:10,577 AND WE ARE ITS NEPHEWS THE SNACKS ARE THE GROCERIES THE LIGHTS ARE THE FAMILY DOG 71 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:15,348 BECAUSE IF YOU TRY TO PET IT, YOU WILL GET HURT. WE MISS YOU, DWAYNE. 72 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:19,285 COME BACK. [ BEEP ] THIS OLIVE GARDEN VOICEMAIL 73 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:22,055 BOX IS FULL. [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU FOR CALLING OLIVE 74 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,858 GARDEN WHEN YOU'RE HERE YOU'RE -- FAMILY. 75 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:34,067 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WE GOT THE EXCLUSIVE WE GOT IT TONIGHT. 76 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,871 AND FINALLY, THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON WAS THIS WEEKEND. CONGRATS ON ANYONE WHO RACED 77 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:42,776 IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AMAZING. 78 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,477 I READ THAT ONE GUY RAN 17 MILES WITH AN ENGAGEMENT RING AND THEN PROPOSED TO HIS 79 00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:52,285 GIRLFRIEND DURING THE RACE [ AUDIENCE AWWs WHAT'S MORE ROMANTIC THAN 80 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,355 PROPOSING NEXT TO TIMES SQUARE ELMO PEEING HIS COSTUME? [ LAUGHTER ] 81 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,425 ACTUALLY, IT WAS VERY CUTE THEY EVEN CELEBRATED WITH TINY PAPER CUPS FILLED WITH 82 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,593 CHAMPAGNE. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 83 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:01,094 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY! 84 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:14,474 * 85 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:20,480 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: IT IS MONDAY 86 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,550 WE'RE VERY EXCITED TO BE BACK. WE HAVE A GREAT WEEK OF SHOWS AHEAD. 87 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:29,122 WILL SMITH WILL BE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WILL FERRELL WILL BE STOPPING 88 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:34,594 BY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND ON THURSDAY, WE'VE GOT A 89 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:37,263 A VERY SPECIAL SHOW. IN HONOR OF VETERANS DAY, OUR ENTIRE AUDIENCE WILL BE MADE UP 90 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:43,436 OF VETERANS AND THEIR FAMILIES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S THURSDAY. 91 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:47,073 AND OUR GUEST WILL BE THE ONE AND ONLY TAYLOR SWIFT. THAT IS THIS THURSDAY. 92 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,142 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT THIS THURSDAY 93 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,512 WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. HIS STAND UP SPECIAL "SHAME THE 94 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,682 DEVIL" PREMIERS NEXT WEEK ON NETFLIX. MICHAEL CHE IS HERE. 95 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:59,285 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Steve: COME ON. Jimmy: "SHAME THE DEVIL." 96 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:03,623 MICHAEL CHE. PLUS, GOSH, WE LOVE THIS GUY HE'S GOT THE NUMBER ONE ALBUM 97 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:08,595 IN THE U.S. AND U.K. RIGHT NOW WITH "=. ED SHEERAN IS ON THE SHOW 98 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:16,670 TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PLUS, SHE'S THE GREATEST 99 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:20,707 JUST LAUNCHED HER BRAND NEW WEBSITE CALLED MARTHA.COM. ALWAYS WELCOME HERE. 100 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:24,210 GOSH, I LOVE HER SO MUCH MARTH STEWART IS ON THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 101 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:28,915 JUST QUALITY AND SPEAKING OF CRUSHING IT RIGHT NOW, WE HAVE MUSIC FROM 102 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:35,155 SUMMER WALKER! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH 103 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:39,626 SHE'S CRUSHING IT RIGHT NOW. GUYS, DID YOU EVER SEE A PHOTO IN THE NEWS AND THINK THE 104 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,162 HEADLINE COULD BE MUCH BETTER? WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN 105 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,096 IT'S TIME FOR "NEWS AND IMPROVED." 106 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:46,733 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * NEWS AND IMPOVED * 107 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:52,739 * Jimmy: FOR EXAMPLE, CHECK OUT THIS FIRST PHOTO 108 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:56,343 THE ORIGINAL HEADLINE WAS "BIDEN ANNOUNCES HISTORIC DEAL." 109 00:07:56,343 --> 00:08:00,380 THE HEADLINE CAN DEFINITELY BE IMPROVED, BECAUSE IF YOU ONLY LOOK AT THE PHOTO, THE HEADLINE 110 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:03,683 COULD HAVE BEEN, "AMATEUR PSYCHIC GETS WOMAN'S BIRTHDAY WRONG FOR THE FIFTH TIME." 111 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,619 [ APPLAUSE ] MAY 6th. Steve: NO 112 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:09,155 Jimmy: MAY 7th. Steve: NO MAY 8th 113 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,092 Steve: NO Jimmy: IS IT IN MAY Steve: NO 114 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,494 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: CHECK OUT THIS -- IS YOUR NAME MAY? 115 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,262 Steve: NO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER MET 116 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,765 ANYONE NAMED MAY Steve: NO WELL, ONCE 117 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:23,570 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY CHECK OUT THIS NEXT PHOTO. 118 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:27,607 THE ORIGINAL HEADLINE WAS "PELOSI ADDS TO SOCIAL SPENDING BILL." 119 00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,409 IF YOU ONLY LOOKED AT THE PHOTO, THE HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN "WOMAN THREATENS VIOLENCE 120 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:38,051 IF SUPPLY CHAIN AFFECTS BOXED WINE." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 121 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:41,755 MAMA NEEDS HER FRANZIA [ LAUGHTER ] THE NEXT HEADLINE WAS 122 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:45,225 "PEYTON MANNING RECEIVES RING OF HONOR." THE HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, 123 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:50,463 "BLIND DATE WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHICH ONE WAS HIM." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 124 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:55,168 "I'LL BE WEARING A BRIGHT ORANGE BLAZER. NEXT HEADLINE WAS, "WORLD 125 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:59,472 LEADERS AGREE ON TAX DEAL. HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, "ABBA GOES ON TOUR, INSTANTLY 126 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:04,778 DISAPPOINTS FANS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: WOW. 127 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:08,014 Jimmy: TERRIBLE Steve: MAMMA MIA! Jimmy: YEAH 128 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:12,452 UP NEXT, THIS HEADLINE SAYS "PUTIN CELEBRATES UNITY DAY. THE HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, 129 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:15,622 "MAN GETS THIRD ANSWER IN A ROW CORRECT WHILE WATCHING 'JEOPARDY!'" 130 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:23,797 [ APPLAUSE ] NEXT HEADLINE WAS "U.K CHANCELLOR ANNOUNCES BUDGET. 131 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:27,100 HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, "HULK'S LUNCHBOX GETS ANGRY, TURNS INTO SUITCASE. 132 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:34,941 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT HEADLINE WAS, "JOHNSON MEETS WITH LEADERS." 133 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:38,111 HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, "GUY INDICATES HOW MANY BEERS HE'S HAD IN THE SHOWER. 134 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,414 [ LAUGHTER ] SHOWER Steve: DRINKING IN THE 135 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,784 SHOWER WOW. Jimmy: NEXT HEADLINE WAS, 136 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:48,521 "PRINCE WILLIAM URGES CLIMATE ACTION." THE HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, 137 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,057 "DAD ANNOUNCES TO FAMILY HE JUST SAW THAT THE McRIB IS BACK." 138 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:56,696 [ APPLAUSE ] FREAKING OUT FINALLY, THIS HEADLINE WAS, 139 00:09:56,696 --> 00:10:00,000 "NORTH KOREA VOWS TO BUILD UP MILITARY." HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, 140 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,571 "GROUP IS SEATED AT NEW TIMES SQUARE THEMED RESTRAINT NUCLEAR WARHEAD CAFE." 141 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:08,942 [ APPLAUSE ] THAT IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "NEWS AND IMPROVED." 142 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,811 WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'RE PLAYING CHARADES WITH OUR GUESTS TONIGHT 143 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,214 STICK AROUND COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 144 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:32,565 * Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." 145 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:38,271 WE ARE ABOUT TO PLAY CHARADES. BUT FIRST, WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME PLAYERS 146 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:43,176 JOINING MY TEAM, SHE'S A HUGELY SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEUR WHO JUST LAUNCHED HER NEW WEBSITE 147 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,780 MARTHA.COM PLEASE WELCOME MARTHA STEWART! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 148 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:58,158 * HI OUR FIRST COMPETITOR IS ONE OF 149 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,761 THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE OUT THERE. HIS STAND-UP SPECIAL "SHAME THE DEVIL" PREMIERES NOVEMBER 16th 150 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:05,465 ON NETFLIX PLEASE WELCOME MICHAEL CHE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 151 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:14,341 * HEY, BUDDY JOINING MICHAEL'S TEAM, HE'S 152 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,711 ONE OF THE BIGGEST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD. HIS NEW ALBUM "EQUALS" IS OUT 153 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:21,881 NOW. NUMBER ONE EVERYWHERE, PLEASE WELCOME ED SHEERAN 154 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:27,220 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * THIS IS -- 155 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:33,793 LOOK AT THIS LOOK AT THIS COME ON, LOOK AT -- THIS IS 156 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,629 A GROUP HERE ALL RIGHT, NOW WE ALL KNOW HOW TO PLAY CHARADES 157 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:40,567 WE'RE GONNA DO FOUR ROUNDS, 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK PER ROUND THEN THE FIFTH ROUND IS 158 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:44,170 THE SHOWDOWN BOTH TEAMS GET THE SAME CLUES AT THE SAME TIME 159 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,139 I WILL GO FIRST. YOU GUYS CAN ALL TAKE YOUR SEATS. 160 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:50,276 MICHAEL -- NO, MARTHA, YOU'RE OVER HERE. YEAH, WE'RE TEAM FALLON. 161 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,711 YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] HERE WE GO 162 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,446 ALL RIGHT, GOOD. ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GONNA BE DONE 163 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,882 ALL RIGHT, WHAT NUMBER SHALL I CHOOSE, GUYS [ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBER ] 164 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,352 EVERYONE SAID FOUR ALL RIGHT. INTERESTING. 165 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:03,523 UH-HUH MM-HMM. OKAY. 166 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:11,731 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HERE WE GO ARE YOU READY FOR THIS 167 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,068 TV. SHOW [ LAUGHTER ] 168 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:21,675 THREE WORDS. WORD NUMBER ONE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 169 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:29,416 SALUTE ARMY FLAG 170 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,919 ARMED SERVICES [ LAUGHTER ] I'M TERRIBLE AT THIS 171 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,688 OUR MAYBE YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT THIS [ LAUGHTER ] 172 00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:38,825 Jimmy: NO SECOND WORD CAN WE GUESS? 173 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:41,327 Jimmy: NO, YOU CAN'T GUESS, ED SORRY! 174 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:48,868 [ BUZZER ] * I'M SORRY, 175 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,737 SECOND ONE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT I SHOULD HAVE DONE THE SECOND 176 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:54,674 WORD "KARATE KID?" Jimmy: NO 177 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,743 [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT IS IT? Jimmy: "AMERICAN NINJA 178 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,378 WARRIOR. OH. WHAT? 179 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:05,618 [ LAUGHTER ] "AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR? Jimmy: "AMERICAN NINJA 180 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,153 WARRIOR," YES. OH, GOD [ LAUGHTER ] 181 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,756 Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ED. I'M UP. Jimmy: YEAH, ED 182 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,725 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT A SHOT OH, YEAH. LET'S DO THIS. 183 00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,793 Jimmy: WHAT NUMBER? WHAT DO YOU THINK? THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 184 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,329 ABOUT. [ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS COME ON, ED. 185 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:22,769 LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN. YOU GOT IT OKAY. 186 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:28,074 WHAT SONG? WHAT SONG? WHAT SONG? 187 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:33,079 OKAY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SONG! 188 00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,481 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT WAS NOT THE CLUE 189 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,449 THAT WASN'T THE CLUE OH, YEAH. IT'S A SONG. 190 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,718 Jimmy: THAT WASN'T THE CLUE OH, ALL RIGHT WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? 191 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,487 IT'S A SONG. YEAH I GOT YOU. 192 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,122 [ LAUGHTER ] OH HARLEM SHAKE 193 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,923 NO, NO. "THRILLER." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 194 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:49,562 IT'S NOT THE HARLEM SHAKE? THAT'S WHAT - HARLEM -- THREE -- OH, 195 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:53,366 HARLEM SHAKE REMIX [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE OH 196 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,970 DIRT ON YOU -- GET THE DIRT OFF YOUR SHOULDER? NO, NO. 197 00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:01,341 OH. "LEAN WITH IT, ROCK WITH IT. [ LAUGHTER ] 198 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,443 UHH Jimmy: WHAT WORD -- WHAT WORD ARE YOU DOING 199 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,845 THAT WAS THE FIRST WORD? TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT? [ BUZZER ] 200 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,814 * Jimmy: "SHAKE IT OFF? "SHAKE IT OFF." 201 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:12,585 [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER Jimmy: NO, MARTHA IT'S NOT TAKE IT OFF, "SHAKE IT 202 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,254 OFF. OH. "SHAKE IT OFF." 203 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,889 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO 204 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,291 THAT WAS GOOD Jimmy: ONE OF US HAS TO GET ONE POINT. 205 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,393 ALL RIGHT Jimmy: MARTHA, YOU'RE UP. PLEASE 206 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,328 OH, GEEZ. Jimmy: WE GOT THIS. COME ON, BUDDY 207 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,197 WE CAN'T. IT MUST BE THE WORST [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 208 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,266 Jimmy: COME ON, WE'RE GOOD PARTNERS WE'RE GOOD AT THIS 209 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,368 OH, THIS IS VERY EASY OKAY. Jimmy: I LOVE THE 210 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,203 CONFIDENCE YEAH. Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS 211 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:34,140 YOU HAVE MOVIE HOW MANY WORDS YOU'RE WALKING ON A TIGHT ROPE 212 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:39,612 YOU'RE WALKING ON A TIGHT -- NO [ LAUGHTER ] 213 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:43,650 IT IS A LINE - OH MAN. Jimmy: NO, NO, ONE WORD 214 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:47,153 ZIP LINE NO -- YES. ONE WORD 215 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:50,190 THREE SYLLABLES. TIME'S GONNA BE UP. [ LAUGHTER ] 216 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,292 Jimmy: TIGHT ROPE NO, I CAN'T GET IT OH, I KNOW IT 217 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,260 I KNOW IT. Jimmy: WAIT, YOU KNOW IT TOO? 218 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,329 YEAH, I KNOW IT WE KNOW IT Jimmy: SORRY, YOU'RE WALKING 219 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,531 ON THE -- BALANCING. OH. Jimmy: "WALK THE LINE." 220 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,400 YEAH. [ DINGING * 221 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:07,941 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MAN MAN, MAN, MAN. 222 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:11,644 EVEN I KNEW THAT ONE. EVEN I KNEW THAT ONE Jimmy: SOMETHING JUST POPPED 223 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,713 IN MY BRAIN. I WAS JUST LIKE -- LIKE, I FELT IT, WOW. 224 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,348 MAN Jimmy: I WAS LIKE -- BROKE SWEAT. 225 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,317 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I'M READY. I'M READY. 226 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,619 Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, MIKE. OKAY, ONE POINT Jimmy: MICHAEL CHE. 227 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,821 WE GOT A POINT. Jimmy: YEAH, WE GOT A POINT THIS IS GREAT. 228 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:31,331 [ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY. 229 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,267 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT OH, MAN. 230 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,336 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT READY? 231 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:42,375 Jimmy: ED'S GOT THI FILM. FOUR WORDS 232 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:49,683 SMALL? NO HAT. 233 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,117 [ LAUGHTER ] NO NO 234 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:54,587 SMALL NO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SECOND WORD 235 00:15:54,587 --> 00:16:00,026 Jimmy: SECOND WORD. SECOND WORD TIME 236 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,462 DEAD Jimmy: OH, YEAH YOU KNOW THIS. 237 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,230 "NO TIME TO DIE." [ DINGING * 238 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:13,306 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WOW! "NO TIME TO DIE." 239 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,343 Jimmy: IT'S A BARN BURNER IT'S A GIANT MOVIE. Jimmy: IT'S A BARN BURNER 240 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:23,783 ALL RIGHT. THIS IS THE LAST ONE BOTH PEOPLE GIVING, WILL GIVE 241 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:28,488 THE SAME CLUE AND THE FIRST ONE TO GUESS WINS THE WHOLE THING. BUT WE GET TO SELECT WHO IS 242 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,759 GIVING THE CLUES OOH, WHAT DO YOU WANT I DON'T KNOW. 243 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,495 WELL, I THINK WE'LL GO WITH WHAT WE KNOW, I THINK. WE WON THAT ONE. 244 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,564 I'M IN. I'LL DO IT AGAIN I'LL DO IT AGAIN 245 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,632 COME ON, LET'S DO IT Jimmy: SNL BUDS YEAH, LET'S DO IT 246 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:46,072 WHICH ONE WE PICKING [ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS ALL RIGHT 247 00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:54,180 COOL, 88 [ LAUGHTER ] OH 248 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:59,419 Jimmy: WE GOOD? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 249 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,054 ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO IT. COME ON. 250 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,356 WE GONNA DO IT WE GONNA DO IT Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, READY, 251 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,891 MARTHA READY? READY 252 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,760 READY Jimmy: HERE WE GO FILM. 253 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,897 FILM. [ LAUGHTER ] DANCING 254 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,532 "DIRTY DANCING? [ DINGING * 255 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:18,238 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 256 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:21,741 ABOUT. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I ONLY JUST WATCHED THAT 257 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:26,046 FLICK. I GOT A POSTER FOR MY WIFE FOR CHRISTMAS OF ALL THE BEST 258 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,181 FILMS. WE SCRATCH THEM OFF. AND I'VE NEVER SEEN IT 259 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,250 AND WE WATCHED IT LIKE LAST WEEK WHAT DID SAY? 260 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,452 "DIRTY DANCING. I SAID "DIRTY DANCING," BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME 261 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,287 YEAH. I SAID IT BEFORE YOU SAID IT 262 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,922 [ LAUGHTER ] HAVE TO ENUNCIATE [ LAUGHTER ] 263 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:39,325 I SAID IT RIGHT AWAY. I SAID "DIRTY DANCING. Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. 264 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,829 WE'LL COME BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL TALK WITH THE JUDGES 265 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,665 MY THANKS TO MICHAEL CHE, MARTHA STEWART, ED SHEERAN WE'RE TALKING TO MICHAEL AFTER 266 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,400 THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 267 00:17:47,400 --> 00:18:04,651 * Jimmy: THANK YOU, ROOTS MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN 268 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:09,556 EMMY-NOMINATED COMEDIAN WHO YOU KNOW FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." 269 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:14,260 HIS NEW STAND-UP SPECIAL "SHAME THE DEVIL" PREMIERES ON NETFLIX NOVEMBER 16th. 270 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,029 EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME MICHAEL CHE! 271 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:35,048 * Jimmy: OH MICHAEL CHE! 272 00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:37,751 WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW I APPRECIATE EVERY TIME YOU COME 273 00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:41,921 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DRINK WATER HERE [ LAUGHTER ] 274 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,657 YOU KNOW, YOU ONLY SEE LIKE THE CUP BUT I DON'T EVER SEE ANYBODY DRINK. 275 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,594 AND I ALWAYS WANTED TO JUST HAVE A LITTLE SIP OF WATER Jimmy: YEAH 276 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:51,064 I HAVE TO ASK YOU, BECAUSE WE TALKED ABOUT THIS LAST TIME. YOU NOW HAVE A HOUSE 277 00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:53,133 YES Jimmy: AND LAST TIME WE TALKED, YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD AN 278 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,903 ICE MAKER AND YOU THOUGHT THE THREE STOOGES WERE BURGLING YOUR HOUSE 279 00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:01,041 IT MADE ME LAUGH BUT YOU HAVE A HOUSE HOW IS IT? 280 00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:03,343 AND I HEARD THAT QUESTLOVE HELPED YOU DECIDE TO MOVE UPSTATE? 281 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:06,279 THAT'S TRUE HE DID I WAS LOOKING FOR A HOUSE AND I 282 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:12,085 WAS LOOKING OUT IN SOME TOWN THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 283 00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,720 AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU NEED TO LOOK WHERE I'M AT. AND I LOOKED UP THERE AND IT'S 284 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:18,525 QUITE NICE I DO ENJOY IT. IT IS GOOD WATER 285 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,494 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NOT USED TO HAVING NEIGHBORS, THOUGH. 286 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:25,432 LIKE, EVEN STILL, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE, LIKE, IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 287 00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:28,268 Questlove: I HAVE YET TO MOVE IN. [ LAUGHTER ] 288 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,570 SO YOU SENT ME TO A A NEIGHBORHOOD THAT YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE IN 289 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,306 [ LAUGHTER ] Questlove: I'M NOT READY YET. 290 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:38,878 I'M NOT READY YET. YEAH, SO I'M LIKE THE GUINEA PIG FOR THE NEIGHBORHOOD NOW 291 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:44,184 Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE IT IT'S CRAZY, THOUGH. LIKE, WHEN I FIRST GOT THERE, 292 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:48,488 SOME LADY LIKE BROUGHT ME BREAD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 293 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,057 SHE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR. SHE WAS LIKE, "I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR 294 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:54,561 HERE'S SOME BREAD. Jimmy: THAT'S SO NICE SHE COULD HAVE POISONED ME 295 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,463 OR SOMETHING [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: NO, NO, UPSTATE, 296 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,665 THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY DO. IF YOU'RE WATCHING, THIS MA'AM, I PUNTED YOUR BREAD OVER 297 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:03,370 TWO FENCES [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU'RE BEING 298 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,840 PARANOID SHE'S BEING NEIGHBORLY NO, MAN 299 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,576 I'VE LIVED IN APARTMENTS IN NEW YORK CITY MY WHOLE LIFE. I'VE NEVER MET ONE NEIGHBOR. 300 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:13,947 [ LAUGHTER ] NOT ONE PERSON WE DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT. 301 00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:18,385 WE'RE NICE PEOPLE THAT WAY SUBURBS, I DON'T TRUST IT. Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK ABOUT 302 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,755 COLIN JOST, YOUR "WEEKEND UPDATE" CO-ANCHOR. YOU GUYS ARE FANTASTIC 303 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:25,225 TOGETHER, BY THE WAY CONGRATS ON A GREAT SEASON OH STOP 304 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:31,664 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE JUST HAD A BABY THAT'S TRUE 305 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:35,468 WELL, SCARLET DID. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SCARLETT HAD THE 306 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,804 BABY HAVE YOU MET THE BABY? I HAVE, MAN 307 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:43,576 WHAT A CUTE KID. BUT BABIES ARE, THEY'RE FUN FOR LIKE A SECOND. 308 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:48,815 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, THEY DON'T DO MUCH AFTER YOU LOOKED AT THEM 309 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,784 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY'RE JUST STARING AT YOU, TRYING TO KEEP THEIR HEAD 310 00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:55,622 ON STRAIGHT. Jimmy: OH, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 311 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,190 GET THIS WIGGLY THING AWAY FROM ME. BUT NO, IT'S LIKE AN ADORABLE 312 00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:01,194 BABY IT'S COLIN AND SCARLETT'S BABY TOGETHER 313 00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:03,697 Jimmy: YEAH ARE YOU GOING TO BABYSIT HAS HE ASKED YOU YET 314 00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,665 I DON'T LIKE BABYSITTING, MAN. I'M ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD 315 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:10,070 BABYSITTER THOUGH. IF YOU GUYS ARE INTERESTED [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 316 00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:12,105 I'M A GREAT BABYSITTER I'VE BEEN BABYSITTING MY WHOLE LIFE 317 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:15,508 I HAVE NIECES AND NEPHEWS THAT'S LIKE THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. 318 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,578 Jimmy: OH, REALLY I'VE BEEN BABYSITTING THEM SINCE THEY WERE BABIES 319 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:23,583 SINCE I WAS A BABY, ACTUALLY Jimmy: YEAH, WERE YOU A GOOD BABYSITTER 320 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,119 I WAS A GREAT BABYSITTER, MAN. I JUST LET YOU CRY UNTIL YOU'RE 321 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:31,257 SLEEPY [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: NOW, MICHAEL CHE, 322 00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:33,960 "SHAME THE DEVIL." YEAH. Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR STAND-UP 323 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:38,098 SPECIAL ON NETFLIX I'M EXCITED YOU KNOW, RIGHT ABOUT NOW, I 324 00:21:38,098 --> 00:21:41,501 JUST FEEL LIKE WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS MORE STAND-UP COMEDY ON NETFLIX 325 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:45,138 [ LAUGHTER ] SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE CAN AGREE ON 326 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:50,276 Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH I LOVE THE NAME "SHAME THE DEVIL. 327 00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:52,545 I NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE NEVER YOU DON'T GOT LIKE A BLACK 328 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:56,483 AUNT [ LAUGHTER ] "SHAME IS DEVIL" IS A VERY -- 329 00:21:56,483 --> 00:22:01,087 IT'S SOMETHING THAT, YOU KNOW, LIKE, CHURCH LADIES SAY. THEY SAY, "TELL THE TRUTH, 330 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:04,257 SHAME THE DEVIL. BECAUSE THE DEVIL IS A LIAR. NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD THIS 331 00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:07,160 BEFORE Jimmy: NO, I MEAN I HAVEN'T THE ROOTS ARE SHAKING THEIR 332 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:11,064 HEADS, YES, ABSOLUTELY [ LAUGHTER ] "SHAME THE DEVIL. 333 00:22:11,064 --> 00:22:13,767 Jimmy: SO YOU'RE JUST KIND OF JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. I'M TRYING TO 334 00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:19,105 BUT AS MUCH AS I CAN, YOU KNOW Jimmy: YOU'RE A GREAT COMIC, MAN. 335 00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:21,541 LET'S NOT Jimmy: WHERE DID YOU FILM IT 336 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:25,445 IN OAKLAND. OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 337 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,981 Jimmy: WOW. A LOT OF OAKLAND FANS HERE WHAT'S IT LIKE BACKSTAGE WHEN 338 00:22:27,981 --> 00:22:31,484 YOU'RE ON THE ROAD DO YOU HAVE A RIDER? DO YOU HAVE -- WHAT DO YOU HAVE 339 00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:34,521 IN THE ROOM? I'M FASCINATED WITH RIDERS LIKE, I DON'T REALLY HAVE 340 00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:36,489 A RIDER. I USUALLY JUST ASK FOR LIKE, CHICKEN FINGERS AND M&M'S 341 00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:41,761 BECAUSE THAT'S JUST MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 342 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:44,564 BUT I'M FASCINATED WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S RIDERS. LIKE, I'M ALWAYS LIKE, ANY TIME 343 00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:47,967 THERE'S A PERFORMER, LIKE, BEFORE ME, "I'M LIKE, WHAT DID THEY HAVE IN THEIR RIDER." 344 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,936 AND THEN, LIKE, THEY TELL ME, LIKE, SOME PERFORMERS, LIKE, ONE COMEDIAN, I WON'T SAY HIS 345 00:22:49,936 --> 00:22:51,471 NAME, BUT HE ASKED FOR LIKE WHITE SNEAKERS BEFORE EVERY SHOW 346 00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:59,112 BRAND NEW WHITE SNEAKERS, THEY GO TO BUY THEM BEFORE EVERY SHOW 347 00:22:59,112 --> 00:23:02,415 Jimmy: CAN YOU DO THAT? APPARENTLY, YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 348 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:05,218 ISN'T THAT THE COOLEST THING YOU DO IT TOO? Tariq: I DO IT WITH T-SHIRTS 349 00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:09,522 AND OTHER THINGS BUT I LIKE TO PROVIDE MY OWN SHOES. 350 00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:12,058 THAT'S AWESOME. Jimmy: WAIT, SO YOU GO DO A A GIG AND YOU HAVE THEM BUY 351 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,861 YOU -- Tariq: I MEAN, YOU HAVE A A RIDER. 352 00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:18,365 IT'S, YOU KNOW, PART OF THE TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT [ LAUGHTER ] 353 00:23:18,365 --> 00:23:20,867 Jimmy: NO, I UNDERSTAND WHAT A RIDER IS Tariq: SO YOU PUT THE 354 00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:24,604 SNEAKERS ON THE RIDER. AND THEN, YOU KNOW - THEY GOT TO DO IT 355 00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:26,139 Tariq: YEAH, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 356 00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:27,907 ONE LESS THING YOU GOT TO THINK ABOUT. MY FAVORITE RIDER THING WAS 357 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,844 SNOOP DOGG I WAS DOING A GIG, AND SNOOP DOGG WAS THERE LIKE 358 00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:36,950 A WEEK BEFORE ME AND IT WAS IN THE U.K. AND I WAS LIKE, "MAN, WHAT DOES 359 00:23:36,950 --> 00:23:45,258 SNOOP DOGG HAVE IN HIS RIDER?" "REGULAR STUFF, BUT HE ORDERED 150 POUNDS OF CHICKEN. 360 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:49,095 AND I WAS LIKE, "150 POUNDS OF CHICKEN? IT BLEW MY MIND. 361 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:54,000 LIKE A WHOLE YEAR, I'M THINKING SNOOP DOGG EATS MORE CHICKEN THAN ANYBODY ON THE PLANET 362 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,102 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN, I WAS TELLING A FRIEND ABOUT IT. 363 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:57,737 I WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW SNOOP DOGG ASKS FOR 150 POUNDS OF CHICKEN IN THE UK?" 364 00:23:57,737 --> 00:24:04,277 AND SHE WAS LIKE, "MONEY OR WEIGHT?" [ LAUGHTER ] 365 00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:06,780 Jimmy: OH THAT MAKES MORE SENSE. YEAH, APPARENTLY, HE DOESN'T 366 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:10,950 EAT A BARREL OF CHICKEN BEFORE SHOWS. [ LAUGHTER ] 367 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,819 Jimmy: WHERE DOES HE PUT IT ALL? HE'S GOT A GOOD METABOLISM, 368 00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:14,554 MAN. IT MAKES THE STORY A LOT LESS INTERESTING 369 00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:18,491 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW A A CLIP 370 00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:20,260 IF YOU GUYS NEED A LAUGH, YOU GOT TO WATCH THIS. HERE'S MICHAEL CHE IN "SHAME 371 00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:22,595 THE DEVIL" ON NETFLIX, TAKE A LOOK 372 00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:28,668 COUNTRY, WE'RE JUST MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT OUR LOVE. YOU ASK ANY [ BLEEP ], YOU LOVE 373 00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:34,674 AMERICA? HE'S LIKE, "I LOVE BROOKLYN. [ LAUGHTER ] 374 00:24:34,674 --> 00:24:39,679 ATLANTA IS COOL. I DON'T KNOW THE [ BLEEP ] ABOUT THEM DAKOTAS." 375 00:24:39,679 --> 00:24:41,648 [ LAUGHTER ] IF THERE WAS A BLACK AMERICAN FLAG, THERE WOULD BE LIKE 376 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:46,353 11 STARS [ LAUGHTER ] FOR CITIES 377 00:24:46,353 --> 00:24:47,987 IT WOULDN'T EVEN BE THE WHOLE STATE. THEY'D BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, 378 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:59,265 DETROIT, OAKLAND, D.C. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE WOULD BE A BIG 379 00:24:59,265 --> 00:25:03,036 ASS QUESTION MARK. Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 380 00:25:03,036 --> 00:25:06,272 MICHAEL CHE, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HIS SPECIAL, "SHAME THE DEVIL" 381 00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,640 PREMIERES ON NETFLIX NOVEMBER 16th. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 382 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:12,278 ED SHEERAN STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 383 00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:33,066 * Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A MULTIPLE GRAMMY-WINNING 384 00:25:33,066 --> 00:25:37,537 ARTIST WHOSE LATEST ALBUM "EQUALS" IS NUMBER ONE IN THE U.S. AND THE U.K 385 00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:38,571 THE U.S. AND THE U.K PLEASE WELCOME, ED SHEERAN 386 00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:54,788 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 387 00:25:54,788 --> 00:25:58,291 Jimmy: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AT NUMBER ONE. NOT TOO SHABBY, BUDDY. 388 00:25:58,291 --> 00:26:03,663 HUH? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CAN I SAY BEFORE WE START, 389 00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:07,901 EVERY TIME I COME HERE, JIMMY PUTS A KIND OF GIFT BASKET IN MY ROOM. 390 00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:11,938 AND IT IS ALWAYS SO SWEET AND THOUGHT OUT. IT'S LIKE GIVING ME A VINYL. 391 00:26:11,938 --> 00:26:16,343 IT'S LIKE A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER, AND STUFF. I JUST WANT TO SAY IT'S REALLY 392 00:26:16,343 --> 00:26:17,744 NICE REALLY NICE. [ AUDIENCE AWS ] 393 00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:20,914 THANK YOU. Jimmy: THANK YOU, MAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO 394 00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:23,550 MAKE FUN OF WHAT I GAVE YOU. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BY THE WAY, I WANT TO TELL YOU 395 00:26:23,550 --> 00:26:26,586 THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS JUST THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING THANK YOU 396 00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:28,688 Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A DAD. THANK YOU 397 00:26:28,688 --> 00:26:31,191 Jimmy: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ON THE SHOW AS A DAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 398 00:26:31,191 --> 00:26:33,493 CONGRATULATIONS, YOU AND YOUR WIFE MYRA 399 00:26:33,493 --> 00:26:36,062 SHE'S BACK -- SHE'S BACKSTAGE. Jimmy: THAT'S THE BABY. 400 00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:41,368 SHE'S THE CUTEST BABY. [ AUDIENCE AWS ] AND ME AND MY WIFE HAD OUR 401 00:26:41,368 --> 00:26:46,272 SECOND DATE THE NIGHT I DID FALLON IN -- I SAID FALLON I DID IN JIMMY, IN 2015. 402 00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:49,342 AND WE WENT OUT FOR OUR SECOND DATE THAT NIGHT AND WE JUST WERE LIKE REMINISCING BACKSTAGE 403 00:26:49,342 --> 00:26:51,411 THERE. Jimmy: ISN'T THAT GREAT PRETTY COOL 404 00:26:51,411 --> 00:26:54,814 Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. THERE'S GOOD VIBES HERE. SHE'S 1. 405 00:26:54,814 --> 00:26:57,550 SHE'S 1, YEAH Jimmy: DOES SHE SAY JIMMY YET OR ANYTHING? 406 00:26:57,550 --> 00:27:03,223 [ LAUGHTER ] NO, SHE -- SHE SAYS DADA AND POINTS AT ME 407 00:27:03,223 --> 00:27:06,626 SO I'M NOW LIKE, "OKAY, NOW SHE KNOWS. Jimmy: WOW. 408 00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:09,229 BUT BEFORE SHE'D JUST SAY, "DADA," AND LIKE POINTING AT AN ORANGE OR SOMETHING. 409 00:27:09,229 --> 00:27:11,097 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY. WHY NOT? 410 00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:13,066 YEAH DO YOU PLAY - OBVIOUSLY, YOU PLAY MUSIC FOR HER 411 00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:18,104 BUT DO YOU PLAY THE CLASSICS DO YOU -- OH "BABY SHARK?" DO-DO-DO-DOO-DOO-DO. 412 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:22,042 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WE HAVEN'T QUITE GOT TO "BABY SHARK" YET, BUT NO IT'S 413 00:27:22,042 --> 00:27:27,914 VERY GOOD BY THE WAY Jimmy: WHAT, "BABY SHARK? DO-DO-DO-DOO-DOO-DO. 414 00:27:27,914 --> 00:27:29,516 YEAH. Jimmy: YEAH WHY DON'T YOU SING IT 415 00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:31,518 THOUGH DO YOU NOT WHAT TO Jimmy: MY VOICE HURTS 416 00:27:31,518 --> 00:27:33,386 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I FEEL YOU I FEEL YOU 417 00:27:33,386 --> 00:27:35,355 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: DUDE, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS, BY THE WAY 418 00:27:35,355 --> 00:27:39,192 ANOTHER NUMBER ONE ALBUM I MEAN - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 419 00:27:39,192 --> 00:27:43,463 COLD YEAH, I JUST -- Jimmy: WOW, ARE YOU EXCITED 420 00:27:43,463 --> 00:27:48,268 ARE YOU COLD I JUST FEEL THE BUZZ OF NUMBER ONE 421 00:27:48,268 --> 00:27:51,871 YOU KNOW Jimmy: YEAH, YOU THE BUZZ YEAH 422 00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:54,174 IT'S IN ME. IT'S IN ME Jimmy: NUMBER ONE -- NUMBER 423 00:27:54,174 --> 00:27:56,242 ONE. I WANT TO SAY THIS, OVER A A BILLION STREAMS ON SPOTIFY 424 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:57,811 A BILLION. YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 425 00:27:57,811 --> 00:28:00,613 Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I READ SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT I THOUGHT WAS COOL 426 00:28:00,613 --> 00:28:02,749 I DON'T KNOW IT WAS "SHIVER" OR WHAT WAS - WHAT WAS THE FIRST SINGLE OFF 427 00:28:02,749 --> 00:28:05,518 THIS ONE "BAD HABITS." Jimmy: SO IT'S "BAD HABITS" 428 00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:09,022 WAS ON, YEAH AND THEN - DID YOU SEE THE VIBE, JIMMY 429 00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:13,093 Jimmy: YEAH, I SAW YOU. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT THEN "SHIVER" IS COMING 430 00:28:13,093 --> 00:28:15,595 OUT. "BAD HABITS" WENT TO NUMBER ONE. 431 00:28:15,595 --> 00:28:17,897 "SHIVER" CAME OUT, KNOCKING YOU -- YOURSELF OUT OF NUMBER ONE WITH YOUR OTHER SONG 432 00:28:17,897 --> 00:28:20,400 IT'S LIKE, YEAH. AND THEN YOUR BUDDY, ELTON JOHN COMES OUT WITH A SONG WITH 433 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,469 DUA LIPA AND HERE'S THE THING THAT -- EARMUFFS 434 00:28:22,469 --> 00:28:26,840 MAYBE JUST PLUG YOUR EAR ED'S SO COOL HE GOES THROUGH IT EVERYONE ON, 435 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,142 AND ALL HIS FANS GOES, "HEY, ELTON IS GOING TO HIT NUMBER ONE. 436 00:28:29,142 --> 00:28:33,847 HE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE I WANT HIM TO HIT NUMBER ONE SO GO STREAM HIS SONG, "COLD 437 00:28:33,847 --> 00:28:36,783 HEART. [ LAUGHTER ] CAN I INTERJECT 438 00:28:36,783 --> 00:28:40,286 SO THE REASON -- Jimmy: WAS I CLOSE? WAS IT CLOSE 439 00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:47,060 BUT BASICALLY, SO HE HAD STARTED -- WHEN I HAD MY DAUGHTER, HE STARTED RINGING ME 440 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:51,865 ONCE A WEEK TO JUST CHECK UP ON ME BEING A NEW DAD AND THEN I HAD A FRIEND THAT 441 00:28:51,865 --> 00:28:54,267 PASSED AWAY. AND THEN HE STARTED RINGING ME EVERYDAY JUST TO CHECK UP ON 442 00:28:54,267 --> 00:28:56,803 ME SO WE SPEAK -- I SPOKE TO HIM THIS MORNING 443 00:28:56,803 --> 00:28:58,872 I SPOKE TO HIM YESTERDAY I'LL SPEAK TO HIM TOMORROW MORNING. 444 00:28:58,872 --> 00:29:01,007 WE SPEAK EVERYDAY. AND WHEN HIS SONG CAME OUT, HE WAS SO BUZZED ABOUT BEING 445 00:29:01,007 --> 00:29:03,343 TOP 20 AND HE WAS LIKE, "I'M 74 AND I'M TOP 20." 446 00:29:03,343 --> 00:29:06,012 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND IT WENT TOP TEN. AND THEN IT WENT TOP FIVE. 447 00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:09,049 AND IT WAS CLIMBING UP AND IT WAS THERE WEEK WHERE IT WAS GOING NUMBER ONE AND I JUST 448 00:29:09,049 --> 00:29:13,853 LIKE -- I WOULD FEEL LIKE A WEIRD GUY IF I WAS SPEAKING TO HIM THE WHOLE TIME BEING 449 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:17,691 LIKE, "MAN, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU," BUT THEN AT THE LAST MOMENT BE LIKE, "[ BLEEP ] 450 00:29:17,691 --> 00:29:20,293 YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "YEAH, I WAS GETTING 451 00:29:20,293 --> 00:29:22,829 TO NUMBER ONE. YEAH "WE'RE FRIENDS, BUT YEAH." 452 00:29:22,829 --> 00:29:27,300 YEAH. AND WE'VE GOT A CHRISTMAS SONG COMING OUT TOGETHER. 453 00:29:27,300 --> 00:29:30,470 Jimmy: WE YOU AND ELTON JOHN ME AND ELTON JOHN 454 00:29:30,470 --> 00:29:33,406 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH Jimmy: HE'S GOT ONE OF MY 455 00:29:33,406 --> 00:29:35,375 FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONGS EVER. YEAH WELL, SO HE -- 456 00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:38,211 Jimmy: "STEP INTO CHRISTMAS? YEAH, SO HE RUNG ME ON 457 00:29:38,211 --> 00:29:40,513 CHRISTMAS DAY. AND SAID -- 'CAUSE HE WAS SO BUZZED THAT "STEP INTO 458 00:29:40,513 --> 00:29:44,351 CHRISTMAS" GETS A HIGHER CHART POSITION EVERY SINGLE YEAR SO I THINK IT WENT IN AT 13 IN 459 00:29:44,351 --> 00:29:48,822 THE '80s AND IT WAS LIKE NUMBER 6 LAST YEAR IN ENGLAND SO HE WAS LIKE, "I WANT TO DO 460 00:29:48,822 --> 00:29:51,358 ANOTHER CHRISTMAS SONG DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT ME?" AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN QUITE 461 00:29:51,358 --> 00:29:53,760 AGAINST -- NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE CHRISTMAS I LOVE CHRISTMAS 462 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,830 BUT IN TERMS OF DOING A CHRISTMAS SONG, YOU NEED TO CHUCK THE KITCHEN SINK AT IT 463 00:29:56,830 --> 00:29:59,232 IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT - Jimmy: GOT TO BE ABLE TO DO IT 464 00:29:59,232 --> 00:30:03,503 I HAVE A NORTHERN IRISH FRIEND THAT SAYS, "IF YOU'RE GONNA GET DONE FOR STEALING 465 00:30:03,503 --> 00:30:06,106 A HORSE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL [ BLEEP ] IT." YOU KNOW 466 00:30:06,106 --> 00:30:09,409 [ LAUGHTER ] [ RIM SHOT ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 467 00:30:09,409 --> 00:30:13,546 Jimmy: STEALING THE HORSE YEAH. SO I SAID TO ELTON, I WAS LIKE, 468 00:30:13,546 --> 00:30:17,250 "I DON'T REALLY WANT TO DO CHRISTMAS SONG UNLESS WE'RE GOING IN 469 00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:21,354 UNLESS IT'S LIKE -- UNLESS IT'S LIKE SLEIGH BELLS, DING DONG.E YEAH, IT NEEDS TO BE A PROPER 470 00:30:21,354 --> 00:30:26,760 CHRISTMAS SONG." SO I WROTE A CHORUS, AND THEN I WENT TO GO AND STAY WITH HIM 471 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,062 AND WE WROTE THREE AND ONE OF THEM WAS THIS ONE CALLED "MERRY CHRISTMAS. 472 00:30:29,062 --> 00:30:31,798 "OKAY. SO GET THIS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 473 00:30:31,798 --> 00:30:33,133 SO WE WRITE IT AND I TITLE IT "MERRY CHRISTMAS. 474 00:30:33,133 --> 00:30:35,068 AND I'M LIKE, "WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE THAT TITLE 'CAUSE THERE'S PROBABLY LOADS OF SONGS 475 00:30:35,068 --> 00:30:41,408 CALLED "MERRY CHRISTMAS. I WENT ON SPOTIFY AND I TYPED IN "MERRY CHRISTMAS. 476 00:30:41,408 --> 00:30:43,610 NOTHING. THERE'S "MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE," THERE'S "HAPPY 477 00:30:43,610 --> 00:30:45,345 XMAS." THERE'S "MERRY XMAS", THERE'S "WAR'S OVER. 478 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:47,781 Jimmy: YOU'RE KIDDING ME. THERE'S NOT A SONG CALLED "MERRY CHRISTMAS." 479 00:30:47,781 --> 00:30:50,383 AND THEN I WENT ON YOUTUBE AND CHECKED IT OUT IT BAFFLED ME. 480 00:30:50,383 --> 00:30:54,087 LIKE THERE'S -- IT'S KIND OF LIKE THIS GLITCH IN A VIDEO GAME WHERE NO ONE SAW -- 481 00:30:54,087 --> 00:30:59,893 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW. NO ONE THOUGHT TO, YEAH 482 00:30:59,893 --> 00:31:38,264 Jimmy: YEAH 'CAUSE MY NEW HORSE -- MY NEW HORSE, SORRY 483 00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:42,202 Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. SHE'S WRITTEN 99 BOOKS, WOW. 484 00:31:42,202 --> 00:31:45,572 AND SHE'S AN 11-TIME EMMY WINNER NOW, SHE HAS A NEW WEBSITE 485 00:31:45,572 --> 00:31:48,008 CALLED MARTHA.COM. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME MARTHA STEWART 486 00:31:48,008 --> 00:31:48,108 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME MARTHA STEWART 487 00:31:49,876 --> 00:32:06,359 * * 488 00:32:06,359 --> 00:32:10,263 THANK YOU Jimmy: MARTHA, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. 489 00:32:10,263 --> 00:32:12,365 THANKS. Jimmy: IT'S ALWAYS GREAT TO HAVE YOU ON. 490 00:32:12,365 --> 00:32:14,668 THANKS FOR PLAYING CHARADES WITH ME AND BEING MY PARTNER I APPRECIATE IT. 491 00:32:14,668 --> 00:32:18,705 IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT -- 492 00:32:18,705 --> 00:32:20,740 THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS BY THE WAY, I NEVER KNOW IF I THANKED YOU FOR THIS, BUT DO 493 00:32:20,740 --> 00:32:25,478 YOU REMEMBER WHEN I RAN INTO YOU AT A FARM? OUT IN THE HAMPTONS 494 00:32:25,478 --> 00:32:27,514 Jimmy: YEAH YEAH. Jimmy: AND YOU TAUGHT ME HOW 495 00:32:27,514 --> 00:32:29,849 TO PICKLE AND YOU GOT ME INTO PICKLING AND I MADE PICKLES 496 00:32:29,849 --> 00:32:32,485 I WAS -- I WAS SO HAPPY THAT YOU WANTED TO PICKLE 497 00:32:32,485 --> 00:32:35,422 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? SO HAPPY. 498 00:32:35,422 --> 00:32:39,693 Jimmy: I WAS AT THIS FARM, FAIRVIEW FARMS HARRY IS THE OWNER THERE, THE 499 00:32:39,693 --> 00:32:42,095 FARMER THERE I LOVE HIM THEY'RE THE ONES WHO DEEP 500 00:32:42,095 --> 00:32:46,666 FRY THE SWEET POTATOES AND ALL THE -- AND THE RED POTATOES AND THE BLUE POTATOES. 501 00:32:46,666 --> 00:32:48,968 Jimmy: IT'S DELICIOUS I JUST LOVE THE WHOLE FAMILY, THE VIBE 502 00:32:48,968 --> 00:32:50,904 AND I'M THERE, AND I'M THERE AND I GO, "HARRY, HOW DO YOU MAKE -- DO YOU HAVE ANY PICKLE 503 00:32:50,904 --> 00:32:52,739 RECIPES? OR HOW DO YOU -- HE GOES, "I DON'T REALLY KNOW 504 00:32:52,739 --> 00:32:55,875 BUT SHE WOULD BE THE PERFECT PERSON TO ASK. I TURN AROUND AND 505 00:32:55,875 --> 00:32:59,145 MARTHA STEWART IS AT THE -- PICKING VEGETABLES AT THE GARDEN 506 00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:02,415 I GO, "THIS IS LIKE A DREAM. THIS IS LIKE UNBELIEVABLE. [ LAUGHTER ] 507 00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:05,151 YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD STUDENT. YOU KNOW, YOU JUST PICK IT UP RIGHT AWAY 508 00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:07,120 AND YOU HAVE A GOOD MEMORY, TOO. BECAUSE YOU REMEMBERED HOW TO 509 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,956 MAKE THEM. Jimmy: I DID, AND I LOVED THEM 510 00:33:09,956 --> 00:33:11,825 I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU MY NEWEST PICKLES I'LL SEND YOU A JAR. 511 00:33:11,825 --> 00:33:15,762 LITTLE TINY RED AND YELLOW PEPPERS. PEQUINO PEPPERS. 512 00:33:15,762 --> 00:33:19,699 Jimmy: THAT'S PERFECT SEE, COME ON I WANT TO TALK ABOUT - 513 00:33:19,699 --> 00:33:21,534 YOU HAVE A SHOW THIS WEEKEND ON HGTV CALLED "TABLE WARS. OH, YEAH. 514 00:33:21,534 --> 00:33:25,472 Jimmy: YOU -- THAT'S A GIANT THING. THEN YOU'RE STARTING 515 00:33:25,472 --> 00:33:27,140 MARTHA.COM DIFFERENT THAN MARTHASTEWART.COM. 516 00:33:27,140 --> 00:33:30,510 THIS IS MARTHA.COM YES YEAH, THIS IS OUR ONLINE STORE 517 00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:35,115 WITH ALL OUR THINGS. THINGS THAT I DESIGN, THINGS THAT I CURATE -- 518 00:33:35,115 --> 00:33:37,617 Jimmy: IT'S SO IMPRESSIVE THINGS THAT WE FIND HERE AND THERE. 519 00:33:37,617 --> 00:33:41,988 AND IT'S A REALLY, REALLY WONDERFUL WEBSITE. AND SO IT ANSWERS ALL YOUR 520 00:33:41,988 --> 00:33:45,392 NEEDS. IF YOU'RE A HOMEMAKER AND YOU NEED STUFF FOR YOUR KITCHEN, OR 521 00:33:45,392 --> 00:33:47,293 YOUR BEDROOMS, YOUR BATHROOMS, IT'S THERE BUT IF YOU NEED GIFTS, THEY'RE 522 00:33:47,293 --> 00:33:51,164 THERE. Jimmy: YEAH YOU HAVE FLANNEL SHEETS ON 523 00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:54,134 THERE I SAW. I REALLY CHECKED IT OUT. YOU HAVE NFTs YOU'RE SELLING ON 524 00:33:54,134 --> 00:33:56,202 THERE. OH, THE BEST. THE BEST 525 00:33:56,202 --> 00:33:59,005 AND YOU KNOW, I WAS SO SURPRISED, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY STARTED GETTING INTO 526 00:33:59,005 --> 00:34:03,843 THE NFTs, NONFUNGIBLE -- Jimmy: TOKENS, YEAH TOKENS, YOU KNOW. 527 00:34:03,843 --> 00:34:07,313 AND YOU CAN PAY WITH THE CRYPTOCURRENCY OR WITHOUT. ONE OF OURS, THE NAUGHTY NURSE 528 00:34:07,313 --> 00:34:13,920 PICTURE OF ME FOR HALLOWEEN, SOLD FOR A LOT [ LAUGHTER ] 529 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,957 [ CHEERS ] Jimmy: I WAS THINKING -- BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE THESE 530 00:34:17,957 --> 00:34:21,294 NEW IDEAS. I ALWAYS THOUGHT MAYBE I'D PITCH YOU AN IDEA AND MAYBE WE 531 00:34:21,294 --> 00:34:23,430 COULD GET INTO BUSINESS TOGETHER LET ME HEAR 532 00:34:23,430 --> 00:34:26,366 Jimmy: OKAY, READY FOR THIS THIS IS LIKE "SHARK TANK. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON 533 00:34:26,366 --> 00:34:29,436 "SHARK TANK. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH, YEAH, ME TOO 534 00:34:29,436 --> 00:34:32,172 YEAH. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, READY THIS ONE, HERE WE GO 535 00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:33,807 WE CAN GO FAST OR SLOW IF YOU WANT PRE-MADE CRANBERRY SLICES, 536 00:34:33,807 --> 00:34:37,911 ALMOST LIKE KRAFT CHEESE BUT IT'S JUST CRANBERRY SLICES YOU THROW IT ON A TURKEY 537 00:34:37,911 --> 00:34:43,750 SANDWICH WITH STUFFING AND IT'S A POST THANKSGIVING - [ CHEERS ] 538 00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:46,586 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I GOT A LOT OF -- TONS OF 539 00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:48,555 IDEAS. HOW DO YOU PACKAGE THEM THEY'RE MESSY. 540 00:34:48,555 --> 00:34:51,958 MAKE YOUR OWN CRANBERRY SAUCE AND JUST PUT A NICE LITTLE SPOON OF IT ON EACH SANDWICH 541 00:34:51,958 --> 00:34:56,663 Jimmy: SANDWICH [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, TURKEY SANDWICHES THE 542 00:34:56,663 --> 00:34:59,833 DAY AFTER. Jimmy: I KNOW, BUT THERE YOU JUST SAID, SANDWICH, BUT 543 00:34:59,833 --> 00:35:05,271 BEFORE, YOU SAID, "SANDWHICH." SANDWICH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 544 00:35:05,271 --> 00:35:07,574 Jimmy: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS ONE [ LAUGHTER ] 545 00:35:07,574 --> 00:35:09,876 OH, WE'RE HAVING A SANDWICH. MARTHA, HOW ABOUT THIS READY FOR THIS 546 00:35:09,876 --> 00:35:11,544 WITH STUFFING DON'T FORGET STUFFING ON THE SANDWICH 547 00:35:11,544 --> 00:35:13,713 Jimmy: COOKIE BREAD COOKIE BREAD. LIKE WHAT? 548 00:35:13,713 --> 00:35:16,549 WHAT DO YOU MEAN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, THEY'RE IN FOR IT. 549 00:35:16,549 --> 00:35:19,386 THEY'RE INTO IT. Jimmy: I'M ENJOYING YOUR REACTION BECAUSE - 550 00:35:19,386 --> 00:35:21,821 COOKIE BREAD. Jimmy: YEAH, SO WHY IS CINNAMON TOAST HAVE THE ONLY 551 00:35:21,821 --> 00:35:25,525 SWEET BREAD THAT YOU CAN GET OUT THERE? WHY NOT DIFFERENT FLAVORS OF 552 00:35:25,525 --> 00:35:27,227 SWEET BREADS, LIKE, THAT TASTE LIKE SUGAR COOKIES OR PEPPERMINT COOKIES OR CHOCOLATE 553 00:35:27,227 --> 00:35:34,134 CHIP WHY NOT JUST EAT THE COOKIES? 554 00:35:34,134 --> 00:35:37,737 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU ALWAYS WANT LIKE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 555 00:35:37,737 --> 00:35:41,074 OKAY, YOU DON'T LIKE THAT. ALL RIGHT, LAST IDEA HOW ABOUT COFFEE MUGS WHERE 556 00:35:41,074 --> 00:35:42,776 YOU -- IF YOU PUT THEM ON THE HOLDER, A LITTLE AIR BLOWS THROUGH THE BOTTOM OF THEM AND 557 00:35:42,776 --> 00:35:50,984 JUST KEEPS IT STIRRING AROUND. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] STIRRING WHAT 558 00:35:50,984 --> 00:35:55,455 Jimmy: SOMEONE JUST YELLED "NO. [ LAUGHTER ] 559 00:35:55,455 --> 00:35:57,857 WELL IF YOU USE AN ALTERNATIVE MILK LIKE A NUT MILK OR SOMETHING. 560 00:35:57,857 --> 00:36:01,594 BUT SEE, I DON'T LIKE MUGS. I THINK MUGS ARE SORT OF CLUMSY AND UGLY 561 00:36:01,594 --> 00:36:05,532 [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T OWN A MUG IN MY HOUSE. Jimmy: REALLY 562 00:36:05,532 --> 00:36:07,367 NO. I HAVE BEAUTIFUL CUPS. Jimmy: WE GIVE YOU MUGS 563 00:36:07,367 --> 00:36:10,103 EVERY TIME YOU'RE ON OUR SHOW. I KNOW, BUT I GIVE THEM AWAY 564 00:36:10,103 --> 00:36:13,707 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: HEY, IF YOU GUYS WANT 565 00:36:13,707 --> 00:36:17,877 OUR MUGS OR ANYTHING, GO TO MARTHA.COM [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 566 00:36:17,877 --> 00:36:19,512 EVERYTHING HOLIDAY CHECK IT OUT RECIPES. 567 00:36:19,512 --> 00:36:21,815 YOU'LL JUST LOVE EVERY SINGLE THING ON THIS THING. TUNE IN TO THE PREMIERE OF 568 00:36:21,815 --> 00:36:26,519 "TABLE WARS" THIS SUNDAY NIGHT AT 8:00 P.M. ON HGTV [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 569 00:36:26,519 --> 00:36:29,055 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM SUMMER WALKER. 570 00:36:29,055 --> 00:36:48,274 STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 571 00:36:48,274 --> 00:36:53,213 Jimmy: PERFORMING "UNLOYAL" FROM HER NEW ALBUM "STILL OVER IT," HERE IS SUMMER WALKER 572 00:36:53,213 --> 00:36:53,246 FROM HER NEW ALBUM "STILL OVER IT," HERE IS SUMMER WALKER 573 00:36:59,452 --> 00:37:19,105 * * 574 00:37:19,105 --> 00:37:29,149 * * * I AIN'T TAKIN 575 00:37:29,149 --> 00:37:36,056 YOUR -- TODAY NO I AIN'T TAKING YOUR -- TOMORROW NO * 576 00:37:36,056 --> 00:37:41,294 * WE CAN DO IT MY WAY S I AIN'T STICKING N NO I AIN'T STICKIN 577 00:37:41,294 --> 00:37:46,966 'ROUND NO MORE * * SINCE YOU JUST WANN PLAY WITH MY HEART AND O 578 00:37:46,966 --> 00:37:51,104 I SEEN YOU WITH TH GIRL AT THE PARTY OH * * YOU THINK THAT I' 579 00:37:51,104 --> 00:37:54,407 GON' STAND ON BY AND WATCH YO WASTE MY TIME * 580 00:37:54,407 --> 00:38:02,482 * BOY I AM TOO DAMN FIN SO I'M OUT I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL BABY 581 00:38:02,482 --> 00:38:14,294 I GUESS I'M UNTRUE * * I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL BAB SO CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT 582 00:38:14,294 --> 00:38:25,038 I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL * * BABY BABY I GUESS I'M UNTRUE 583 00:38:25,038 --> 00:38:28,608 I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL BABY SO CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT * * THINK I NEED YO 584 00:38:28,608 --> 00:38:33,046 BOY YOU FUNN GOT MY OWN MONEY SO I'MA SHOW YOU * 585 00:38:33,046 --> 00:38:40,320 * HEY YOU THINK THA I'LL BE LONELY BUT YOU DON'T KNOW M 586 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:57,904 BOY YOU DON'T KNOW ME * * * 587 00:38:57,904 --> 00:39:14,020 * * * SAID YOU COULD COME 588 00:39:14,020 --> 00:39:20,427 AND PICK UP YOUR ACTIN' LIKE YO PAYING FOR * 589 00:39:20,427 --> 00:39:28,301 * IN YOUR BOW-WOW DURAG OUTSIDE IN YOUR DOGGIE BAG I AM SO DONE WITH THAT 590 00:39:28,301 --> 00:39:33,206 TELL ME HOW A GROWN MAN * * SO CHILDISH ALWAYS IN KEVIN SAMUELS' 591 00:39:33,206 --> 00:39:38,478 COMMENTS YOU THINK THAT I'M * * GON' STAND ON B 592 00:39:38,478 --> 00:39:43,917 AND WATCH YOU WASTE MY TIM BOY I AM TOO DAMN FINE * * BAB 593 00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:55,395 I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL BABY I GUESS I'M UNTRUE I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL BABY * 594 00:39:55,395 --> 00:40:08,408 * SO CALL IT WHAT YOU WAN I GUESS I'M UNLOYAL BABY * * 595 00:40:08,408 --> 00:40:16,082 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH 596 00:40:16,082 --> 00:40:18,585 EVERYBODY. JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT WILL SMITH AND JACK WHITEHALL 597 00:40:18,585 --> 00:40:21,421 WILL BE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE HAVE MUSIC FROM 598 00:40:21,421 --> 00:40:25,025 NATHANIEL RATELIFF AND THE NIGHT SWEATS MY THANKS TO MICHAEL CHE, 599 00:40:25,025 --> 00:40:30,263 ED SHEERAN, MARTHA STEWART SUMMER WALKER ONCE AGAIN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 600 00:40:30,263 --> 00:40:33,767 AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 601 00:40:33,767 --> 00:40:36,936 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY. 602 00:40:36,936 --> 00:40:40,006 THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *