>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - KUMAIL NANJIANI,
FRED ARMISEN MUSICAL GUEST LUCY DACUS AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1542 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
COME ON. RIGHT BACK HERE. I LOVE YOU
ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYONE
YOU'RE HERE. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS PRESIDENT BIDEN SPENT LAST TWO DAYS IN SCOTLAND ADDRESSING
WORLD LEADERS AT THE U.N. CLIMATE CHANGE SUMMIT. YEP, BIDEN REITERATED HIS
COMMITMENT TO CUT CARBON EMISSIONS IN HALF BY 2030. AND HE CAN DO IT
I MEAN, HE CUT HIS APPROVAL RATING IN HALF IN THREE MONTHS [ LAUGHTER ]
BIDEN ENDED HIS BIG SPEECH BY SAYING, "GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND MAY GOD SAVE THE PLANET.
[ LAUGHTER ] THEN GOD WAS LIKE, "UH, THIS IS DEFINITELY A 'YOU BROKE IT, YOU
BOUGHT IT' SITUATION." [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, GOOD NEWS, OVER
100 COUNTRIES HAVE AGREED TO STOP DEFORESTATION BY 2030 IN OTHER WORDS -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IN OTHER WORDS, THEY AGREED TO STOP GIVING THE BRAZILIAN
RAINFOREST A BRAZILIAN [ LAUGHTER ] BUT IT WASN'T JUST WORLD
LEADERS AT THE SUMMIT. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO WAS ALSO THERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE APPARENTLY HE HEARD EARTH WAS GETTING HOTTER AND NEEDED TO
MEET HER [ LAUGHTER ] ACTUALLY, DiCAPRIO DOES A LOT
TO FIGHT GLOBAL WARMING. IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT ICEBERG.
[ LAUGHTER ] MORE NEWS FROM OVERSEAS -- AT SHANGHAI DISNEYLAND, DID YOU
HEAR ABOUT THIS? AFTER ONE PERSON TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID, MORE THAN
30,000 VISITORS WEREN'T ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE PARK UNTIL THEY TESTED NEGATIVE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 30,000 PARENTS WERE LIKE, "THIS IS
AWFUL. WHILE EVERY KID WAS LIKE, "BEST DAY EVER!"
OH, MY -- TRAPPED IN DISNEYLAND [ LAUGHTER ]
AT FIRST, EVERYONE AT DISNEYLAND WAS MAD THEY HAD TO SPEND HOURS SITTING AROUND AND
WAITING, THEN THEY REMEMBERED THAT'S WHAT THEY PAID FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, MICKEY GIVES YOU A COVID TEST, AND THEN THEY
CHARGE YOU $40 FOR A PHOTO [ LAUGHTER ] UNBELIEVABLE
DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS APPARENTLY THERE ARE ISSUES WITH THE TOILET ON THE SPACEX
CAPSULE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO FOUR ASTRONAUTS ARE GOING TO
HAVE TO USE BACKUP UNDERGARMENTS DURING THEIR TRIP HOME
[ AUDIENCE GROANS ASTRONAUTS WERE LIKE, "YOU KNOW, NOT SURE WE NEEDED TO
MAKE THAT PUBLIC." [ LAUGHTER ] WE'RE DOING TONS OF OTHER STUFF
UP HERE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, I SAW THAT NASA
ASTRONAUTS USED THE FIRST PEPPERS GROWN IN SPACE TO MAKE TACOS ON THE INTERNATIONAL
SPACE STATION. [ CHEERS ] I GUESS THEY FIGURED, "WELL,
TOILET'S BROKEN, TACO TUESDAY, ANYONE?" [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: WHAT? >> Jimmy: ANYONE THINKING HERE NEXT, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE
A PRUNE EATING CONTEST [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS, PELOTON HAS
PARTNERED WITH DELTA AIR LINES TO OFFER STRETCHING AND MEDITATION CLASSES ON THEIR
FLIGHTS. [ CHEERS ] I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
I MEAN, AFTER BEING DELAYED FOR THREE HOURS, EVEN THE DALAI LAMA WOULD BE LIKE, "COME
ON LET'S GO!" [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S MY DALAI LAMA IMPRESSION >> Steve: UNCANNY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE ONLY IMPRESSION - >> Steve: IT'S UNCANNY HOW
ACCURATE IT IS >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, YEAH. NO ONE ELSE DOES THE
DALAI LAMA >> Steve: NO >> Jimmy: "COME ON
[ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T CARE IF I BEAT THE LUGGAGE THERE.
I DON'T CARE." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF TRAVEL, AMERICAN
AIRLINES IS HAVING A ROUGH TIME IN THE PAST FEW DAYS THEY HAD TO CANCEL OVER
2,000 FLIGHTS DUE TO STAFFING AND WEATHER PROBLEMS AT THIS POINT, FLYING TO
CHARLOTTE IS LIKE CROSSING THE ATLANTIC IN 1750 [ LAUGHTER ]
"MY BELOVED ISABELLE, OUR JOURNEY HAS BEEN LONG AND HARD."
[ LAUGHTER ] WELL, GET THIS, I HEARD THAT ZOOM -- YOU GUYS KNOW ZOOM,
OBVIOUSLY, YEAH. ZOOM IS GOING TO START SHOWING ADS.
[ AUDIENCE GROANS [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THE ONLY THING MISSING
FROM YOUR FOUR HOUR WORK LONG MEETINGS WERE COMMERCIALS. [ LAUGHTER ]
YES! WELL, THIS IS ACTUALLY FUN HEINZ JUST LAUNCHED A CHRISTMAS
DINNER IN A CAN. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK AT THIS THING JUST LIKE MOM USED TO MAKE [ AUDIENCE EW'S ] [ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN SHE WAS IN PRISON [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, I READ THAT HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY, THE MET IS PUTTING ON AN OPERA THAT'S SIX HOURS LONG
AOHS YEAH, IT'S A FAMOUS OPERA CALLED "THE TERRIBLE IDEA DURING A PANDEMIC.
[ LAUGHTER ] SIX HOURS! YEAH, EACH GUEST IS HANDED A
A PLAYBILL AND A PAIR OF ASTRONAUT UNDERGARMENTS. [ LAUGHTER ]
TACO TUESDAY AND FINALLY, A MAN IN CALIFORNIA RETURNED HOME TO
FIND A PRETTY INTERESTING SCENE. LOOK AT THIS
RETURNED HOME, HE WAS SURPRISED TO FIND HIS FRONT DOOR WIDE
OPEN, AND QUICKLY NOTICED THAT BEAR ON THE COUNTER SCARFING DOWN A BUCKET OF KFC
LLL UNFORTUNATELY, ONE OF HIS PET PARAKEETS IS STILL MISSING [ AUDIENCE OOHS
>> Jimmy: COLONEL SANDERS IS LIKE, "OH, NO, THEY FINALLY FOUND OUT OUR SECRET RECIPE,
PARAKEET." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY!
* PCPC >> Jimmy: IT IS TUESDAY WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
WE HAVE A GREAT WEEK OF SHOWS AHEAD. KRISTEN STEWART WILL BE HERE
>> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: BAD BUNNY WILL BE
HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WHO DOESN'T LOVE --
ARIANA GRANDE WILL BE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE
FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE NEW MARVEL MOVIE "ETERNALS," WHICH OPENS
IN THEATERS FRIDAY, KUMAIL NANJIANI IS HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HE'S A SUPERHERO >> Steve: A DELIGHTFUL MAN >> Jimmy: PLUS, HE VOICES
A CHARACTER IN THE NETFLIX SERIES "BIG MOUTH," THE NEW SEASON PREMIERES THIS WEEK
HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED A REASON TO BE HERE, REALLY >> Steve: NO
>> Jimmy: RIGHT? >> Steve: HE'S CONSTANTLY WORKING.
HE DOES STUFF ALL THE TIME >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO ASK HIM.
I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: OSCAR WINNER
FRED ARMISEN IS HERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC, IN STUDIO LUCY DACUS IS HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LUCY DACUS HEY GUYS, IT'S TIME FOR OUR
LATEST INSTALLMENT OF "TONIGHT SHOW POLLS." HERE WE GO
POLLS * >> Jimmy: THIS FIRST POLL
ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOUR THANKSGIVING TRAVEL PLANS? 6% SAID, "DRIVING TO MY
SISTER'S HOUSE." 6% SAID, "I HAVE FAMILY VISITING ME.
88% SAID, "TRYING NOT TO GET DUCT TAPED TO MY PLANE SEAT. LPLP THIS NEXT POLL ASKED, "WHO
IS THE MOST EVIL TV CHARACTER OF ALL TIME? 35% SAID, "KING JOFFREY.
45% SAID, "HANNIBAL. 20% SAID, "EVERY CONTESTANT ON 'THE PRICE IS RIGHT' WHO
GUESSES $1 MORE THAN THE PREVIOUS CONTESTANT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
IT'S CALLED A LIFE HACK, GOOGLE IT LLL IT'S CALLED A --
IT'S CALLED A LIFE HACK. GOOGLE IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS NEXT ONE ASKS, "DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS WHERE PEOPLE
EXPERIENCE ALTERNATE REALITIES AT THE SAME TIME?" 100% SAID, "NO."
[ LAUGHTER ] 100% SAID, "YES. LPLP >> Steve: DOUBLE WHAMMY
>> Jimmy: LITTLE BRAIN GYMNASTICS THIS NEXT ONE ASKS, "WHAT'S
YOUR FAVORITE DATING APP?" 50% SAID, "TINDER. 45% SAID, "BUMBLE.
5% SAID, "MOZZARELLA STICKS FOR TWO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: APPETIZER. THAT'S AN APPETIZER, NICE. WOW.
>> Jimmy: THIS NEXT POLL ASKS, "ARE YOU TOO DISTRACTED BY YOUR PHONE?
48% SAID, "NO. 42% SAID, "SOMETIMES." 10% SAID, "SORRY, I GOTTA TAKE
THIS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS NEXT POLL ASKS, "DO YOU
STRUGGLE WITH ANSWERING BASIC YES OR NO QUESTIONS? 50% SAID, "NO.
50% SAID, "BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THAT WAS A GOOD ANSWER LAST POLL ASKS, "WHAT DOES YOUR DAD SAY MOST OFTEN ON THE
PHONE? 10% SAID, "HOW ARE YOU DOING?" 90% SAID, "I'LL PUT MOM ON."
LPLP THERE YOU HAVE IT, THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW POLLS. WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE PLAYING
"PICTIONARY" WITH SOME SPECIAL GUESTS STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. I'M HERE WITH THE ONE AND ONLY
TARIQ TROTTER! * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME OF "PICTIONARY. BUT TO DO THAT, WE'RE GOING TO
NEED SOME TEAMMATES. [ DRUMROLL ] FIRST, JOINING MY TEAM, HE
STARS IN THE NEW MARVEL MOVIE "ETERNALS" OPENING IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY, PLEASE WELCOME
KUMAIL NANJIANI! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> HEY >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
LOOKING GOOD, BUDDY. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WOW. ME AND YOU, BUDDY. AND JOINING TARIQ'S TEAM, HE
STARS IN SEASON FIVE OF "BIG MOUTH" WHICH COMES OUT ON NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY, PLEASE
WELCOME -- >> Tariq: AMAZING! >> Jimmy: FRED ARMISEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> YES, YES, YES
>> Tariq: WE WON WE ALREADY WON WE ALREADY WON
>> Jimmy: TARIQ, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT >> Tariq: HE'S A VICTIM.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO >> Tariq: YES. >> Jimmy: IT'S A FUN GAME.
>> Tariq: OF COURSE IT IS. >> WELL, I CANNOT DRAW I'M NOT BEING HUMBLE, REALLY
CANNOT CAN YOU DRAW >> Tariq: YES.
>> AND HE CAN DRAW WE'RE GOING TO LOSE. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S OKAY >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE FINE WITH LOSING >> YEAH.
>> OH, MY GOD. THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY EMBARRASSING
>> Jimmy: NO, NO [ LAUGHTER ] >> UNLESS IT'S A NINJA TURTLE,
I CAN'T DRAW IT. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. BUT THAT'S GOOD.
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: IF IT IS NINJA TURTLE, JUST POINT AT ME LIKE
THIS AND I'LL SAY NINJA TURTLE >> NO, BUT THE NINJA I CAN'T -- THAT'S THE ONE THING I CAN
DRAW >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH EXACTLY WHEN I DRAW IT -- YEAH, THAT'S
GONNA BE --- >> THAT'S THE ONE I DON'T NEED TO CHEAT AT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, DARN [ LAUGHTER ] ALRIGHT, IF IT'S -- OH GOSH.
>> Tariq: IT'S -- NUMBER SEVEN >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW EXACTLY.
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY "PICTIONARY. 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, WE'LL
TAKE A TURN, THEN WE'LL HAVE A A SHOWDOWN WHERE BOTH TEAMS WILL DRAW THE SAME CLUE AT THE
SAME TIME, WORTH DOUBLE THE POINTS MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN.
FRED, WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST AND TARIQ YOU CAN SIT THERE. >> Tariq: YEAH
>> Jimmy: TARIQ IS GUESSING. >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: WHAT NUMBER, GUYS?
>> FIVE! >> THREE >> I HEARD THREE
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS I HEARD THREE. >> Tariq: FIVE
>> YOU THINK FIVE. >> Tariq: YEAH [ APPLAUSE ]
>> THIS IS AN OBJECT >> Tariq: OKAY >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO, TIMER'S ON HERE WE GO WOW.
>> Tariq: SOFT PRETZEL [ LAUGHTER ] >> HE'S DRAWING THE OUTLINE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S GOOD AT THE OUTLINE. >> Tariq: AHH, I'M DUMB.
[ LAUGHTER ] NO, A MAN -- GENIE IN A BOTTLE [ LAUGHTER ]
ALADDIN, NO. TIME -- CLOCK. A CLOCK.
A TIME MACHINE * [ DINGS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GOOD ANSWER, GOOD ANSWER I LIKE THAT.
>> YEP >> WHAT?
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> HOW DID YOU GET - >> Jimmy: THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
>> Tariq: WE'RE CONNECTED. >> Jimmy: THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE WELL DONE, FRED.
>> WHERE'S THE MACHINE >> Tariq: OBVIOUSLY A TIME MACHINE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT >> YEAH. >> WOW
THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: I'M DRAWING. WHAT NUMBER?
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTS OKAY OKAY
>> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: A PERSON >> OH.
>> Jimmy: DOES THAT HELP AT ALL? >> YEAH, I'M GOING TO GUESS
PEOPLE NOW [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OKAY, READY FOR THIS
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. >> Tariq: FIRST OF ALL, THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR BOARD.
LIKE YOU'RE DRAWING ON - [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, NO, NO.
HE'S DRAWING FOR ME. IT'S FINE. I'M SORRY.
>> Tariq: OKAY, OKAY >> YOU CANNOT DISTRACT HIM START THE TIME OVER.
>> Tariq: OKAY, OKAY >> GO BACK, REWIND LEGS
IT'S HORSEMAN. IT'S A COWMAN. COWBOY
COW IN THE LATRINE POOP, PEE, BATHROOM. OUTHOUSE MAN
>> Jimmy: WHAT >> UDDER MILKMAN.
>> Jimmy: YES! NICE JOB [ DING ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> MILKMAN
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ALL RIGHT >> Tariq: YEAH
>> WOW >> Tariq: NICE WHOSE TURN IS IT
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> MY GOD. >> Tariq: GREAT. >> WOW
WOW. >> Tariq: GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. >> WOW
>> Jimmy: LOOK AT THAT SECURITY, SECURITY TARIQ, YOU'RE UP
ENJOY YOUR -- GO, AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR PLAYING. >> Tariq: COOL, OKAY
COOL >> ALL RIGHT >> Tariq: ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: GOOD LUCK. >> HEY, GOOD LUCK. >> Tariq: WHATEVS.
>> Jimmy: GO GET THEM, BUD >> Tariq: I GUESS IT'S MY JOB TO GET RID OF THIS THING
>> Jimmy: I'M SORRY. >> I'M GONNA DO THIS ONE WITHOUT LOOKING JUST FROM THE
REACTION [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO
THE WHOLE GAME WORKS, YOU HAVE TO BY THIS DRAWING >> Tariq: FRED, WHAT NUMBER?
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS >> LET'S GO UP TO TWO. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, DON'T
LOOK [ LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: THIS IS AN OBJECT.
>> OBJECT. >> Jimmy: THAT NARROWS IT DOWN >> Tariq: IT'S A THING
>> Jimmy: THAT NARROWS IT DOWN >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO TIMER'S STARTED ALREADY.
>> APPLE >> THAT'S TOO EASY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S SO EASY >> MILK, MILK. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T
KNOW IT. >> APPLE CIDER [ DINGS
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: STOP BOWING.
STOP BOWING. STOP -- STOP IT. STOP CLAPPING AND BOWING
IT'S SO SILLY. >> I MEAN, JUST HAVE SOME GRACE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR BOARD THAT'S YOUR BOARD.
>> Tariq: OH, COOL >> THAT'S OUR POINT THEN >> Jimmy: THAT'S OUR POINT
[ LAUGHTER ] KUMAIL YOU'RE UP, BUD. >> THIS IS THE BEST APPLE CIDER
RECIPE I'VE EVER SEEN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT IS GOOD
>> I CANNOT DRAW >> Jimmy: I KNOW TURTLE -- WE GOT THIS.
HOPEFULLY, IT'S A NINJA TURTLE [ LAUGHTER ] IF IT IS, HE KNOWS HOW TO DRAW
IT >> Tariq: HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE WORST.
>> Jimmy: WHICH ONE IS NINJA TURTLE WHICH ONE?
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS >> EIGHT >> OOH
>> Jimmy: WAIT, YOU FEEL GOOD? [ LAUGHTER ] IN THAT FACE, I CAN SEE
CONFIDENCE YOU DID. YOU LOOK CONFIDENT, AND LOOKED
LIKE YOU WERE INTO IT AND CONFIDENT. >> IT'S -- IT'S AN ACTION.
>> Jimmy: THAT DOES NOTHING. >> I MEAN, EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS AN ACTION
>> Jimmy: OKAY, WE GOT THIS. READY, WE HAVE THIS. TRUST ME
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: WE'RE PARTNERS WE'RE IN THE ZONE.
>> I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER HOW -- OKAY, READY?
>> Jimmy: YES, I AM READY. >> HERE WE GO. >> Jimmy: YES.
[ LAUGHTER ] THUMBS UP. OKAY
THUMBS UP. POSITIVE TWO THUMBS UP.
SISKEL AND EBERT MOVIE REVIEW, FIST PUMP, TWO THUMBS -- THUMB WRESTLING.
THUMB WAR. [ DINGS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: FAIR ENOUGH. >> THAT'S FAIR
>> Tariq: FAIR ENOUGH. FAIR ENOUGH. >> Jimmy: WOW, LOOK AT THAT.
>> Tariq: BE THAT AS IT MAY. >> DID I COUNT THE RIGHT NUMBER -
>> Jimmy: WAIT SO HERE'S THE WAY THIS IS GONNA WORK
FRED, YOU'RE GONNA DRAW THERE. I'LL DRAW HERE BOTH OF OUR TEAMS GUESS.
WHOEVER GUESSES -- >> WE'RE DRAWING DIFFERENT THINGS
>> Tariq: OH, SIMULTANEOUSLY >> Jimmy: SO SAME THING. >> OH, WE'RE THE SAME.
>> Jimmy: SAME THING AND WHOEVER GUESSES IT GETS ALL THE POINTS AND WINS THE WHOLE GAME
THIS ONE'S 5,000 POINTS. >> Tariq: OKAY, COOL [ LAUGHTER ]
LET'S DO IT. LET'S DO IT. BIG LEAGUE MONEY
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTS NUMBERS >> NUMBER THREE. >> Jimmy: WE'RE BOTH DRAWING
THE SAME THING [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, OKAY, OKAY
WE GOT THIS. >> WE GOT THIS >> Jimmy: THIS IS --E >> AN
ANIMAL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, WAIT YOU'RE
GOING. GOSH, LOOK HOW FAST YOU ARE. >> OKAY.
>> SHARK HAMMERHEAD SHARK [ DINGS
>> OH, MY GOD. * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> WHAT? >> GOOD GAME GOOD GAME.
>> THAT WAS FAIR >> Jimmy: WOW. >> GOOD GAME
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS AMAZING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: KUMAIL NANJIANI,
FRED ARMISEN, TARIQ TROTTER. WE'RE TALKING TO KUMAIL WHEN WE COME BACK.
COME ON BACK MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A A VERY TALENTED COMEDIAN AND
ACTOR STARING IN THE NEW MARVEL MOVIE, "ETERNALS," WHICH OPENS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY.
PLEASE WELCOME KUMAIL NANJIANI
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* YOU LOOK MARVELOUS * >> YOU LOOK MARVELOUS, DARLING * YOU LOOK MARVELOUS *
>> Jimmy: HOW GREAT IS IT TO HEAR AN AUDIENCE >> OH, MY GOD, IT'S AMAZING.
IT FEELS NEW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING IN STUDIO AND FOR DOING THIS
>> I MEAN, YEAH, I'M SO EXCITED TO BE BACK OUT IN THE WORLD A LITTLE BIT
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT? YOU KNOW, I'M A FAN OF YOURS, BUT I LOVED YOUR MOVIE -- I
LOVE YOUR STAND-UP, BUT I LOVE YOUR MOVIE, "THE BIG SICK," ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PHENOMENAL JOB BUT NOW YOU'RE A SUPERHERO
YOU'RE A SUPERHERO, DUDE >> I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I REALLY CAN'T
I'LL KNOW FRIDAY WHEN THE MOVIE COMES OUT THAT IT'S NOT AN ELABORATE PRANK.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT A PRANK, YOU'RE REAL.
>> IT FEELS WILD, MAN. >> Jimmy: HOW DID IT COME ABOUT?
DID YOU GET THE CALL FROM -- WHO CALLED YOU >> SO, I'M OUT OF TOWN FOR A
A FEW WEEKS AND I GET A CALL, AND THEY SAY, "HEY, MARVEL WANTS TO MEET YOU.
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN MARVEL'S NOT A PERSON, LIKE --"
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, EXACTLY RIGHT. >> "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' THEY'RE
LIKE, "CHLOE ZHOU AND NATE MOORE, A PRODUCER, WANT TO MEET YOU."
AND I KNEW CHLOE WAS DIRECTING "ETERNALS. AMAZING DIRECTOR, HUGE FAN OF
HERS I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WANT TO MEET ME.
SO I HAVE THIS MEETING AND CHLOE TALKS ME THROUGH THE ENTIRE MOVIE IN 45 MINUTES
SHE'S LIKE 45 MINUTES, BEGINNING TO END, TELLS ME THE ENTIRE MOVIE
AND THEN SHE'S LIKE, "SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?" AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU --
IT SOUNDS GREAT. I'D LOVE TO GO WATCH IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE A HIT, YEAH, I MEAN - >> "YEAH, DO THAT, THAT SOUNDS
GREAT. FOR? >> "YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE
MILLIONS YOU JUST WANTED MY FEEDBACK? IT IS A THUMBS UP FROM ME,
CHLOE. [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS LIKE, "THUMBS UP."
SHE'S LIKE, "NO, DO YOU WANT TO BE IN IT?" AND I SAID "YES" BEFORE SHE HAD
FINISHED THE SENTENCE. [ LAUGHTER ] WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT DO,
BECAUSE WHAT YOU DO IS, "LET ME THINK ABOUT IT," THEN YOU GO TELL YOUR AGENT TO TRY AND GET
YOU MORE MONEY >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH -
>> I WAS LIKE, "YES, OF COURSE I'LL PAY YOU TO DO IT, WHATEVER."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: EXACTLY CORRECT. >> WHATEVER NEEDS DONE
>> YOU PAY THEM TO -- I'LL PAY YOU TO BE IN A MARVEL MOVIE. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ACTION
FIGURE, BUDDY. LOOK AT THIS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LOOK AT HIM. I MEAN, HOW COOL IS THAT IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, DID YOU
EVER GO LIKE, "OH, YEAH, I'M GOING TO BE A SUPERHERO AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A DOLL AND KIDS
ARE GOING TO BUY MY DOLL IN THE TOY STORE. >> IT'S NOT A DOLL, IT'S AN
ACTION FIGURE. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, THE DIFFERENCE IS
POINTS OF ARTICULATION [ LAUGHTER ] I SAY THAT, BECAUSE I OWN A LOT
OF ACTION FIGURES. >> Jimmy: OH, YOU DO >> YEAH, I BUY THEM.
AND YEAH, IT'S REALLY, REALLY UNBELIEVABLE YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST SAW IT,
I WAS JUST SO HAPPY, AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "EMILY, THEY MESSED UP MY PROFILE.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND SHE WAS LIKE, "NO, THEY DIDN'T."
>> Jimmy: THEY NAILED IT, YEAH >> SHE WAS LIKE, "THEY GOT IT EXACTLY RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> BECAUSE I WAS LIKE, "STUFF IS STICKING OUT WHERE IT
SHOULDN'T BE STICKING OUT AND NOT STICKING OUT WHERE IT SHOULD BE.
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "WELL, THAT'S HOW YOUR FACE LOOKS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER AND YOUR SUPERPOWER
>> SO I PLAY A CHARACTER NAMED KINGO, AND, YOU KNOW, ETERNALS HAVE SORT OF BEEN ON EARTH FOR
7,000 YEARS, WE'RE HERE TO FIGHT THESE MONSTERS CALLED DEVIANTS AND WE'RE SORT OF ALL
SUPPOSED TO GO OFF ON OUR OWN AND KEEP A LOW PROFILE >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND SO MY CHARACTER GOES AND BECOMES A BOLLYWOOD MOVIE STAR -
[ CHEERS ] THAT'S SORT OF HAPPY YEAH, HE DOES, BUT HE'S JUST --
YOU KNOW, SO MANY SUPERHEROES, LIKE, THE POWER IS, LIKE, A BIG RESPONSIBILITY ON THEM
YOU KNOW, THIS GUY LOVES IT. HE LOVES BEING A SUPERHERO HE LOVES HAVING POWERS
HE LOVES BEING A BOLLYWOOD MOVIE STAR NO NOTES, HIS LIFE IS PERFECT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] YOU DO A BIG, GIANT BOLLYWOOD
DANCE NUMBER >> YEAH, AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW A CLIP FROM THAT A LITTLE
BIT, YOU KNOW, SO -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
KNOW HOW TO -- >> WELL, NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
EMILY CAN'T EVEN GET ME ON THE DANCE FLOOR TO DANCE, AND I WAS LIKE, "IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF
PEOPLE I CAN'T DO THIS. SO WHEN FIRST MET CHLOE, SHE
WAS LIKE, "YOU'RE GOING TO DO A BOLLYWOOD DANCE NUMBER," AND I WAS LIKE, "CAN WE DO
SOMETHING ELSE?" >> Jimmy: ANYTHING ELSE, YEAH. >> AND SHE WAS LIKE, "OKAY,
WE'LL DO A BOLLYWOOD ACTION SEQUENCE." I WAS LIKE, "GREAT."
AND THEN WE GOT TO LONDON TO SHOOT IT, SHE WAS LIKE, "I LIED, IT'S A BOLLYWOOD DANCE
NUMBER." [ LAUGHTER ] SHE LIED TO ME
SHE PUT A LIE IN THE SCRIPT. [ LAUGHTER ] SHE PRINTED OUT THE LIE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND SO I GOT A -- I WAS LIKE, "GET ME A TEACHER," AND
WE -- I TRAINED FOR FOUR MONTHS TO DO IT BUT IT WAS REALLY COOL, YOU
KNOW THE FIRST -- SO I TRAINED WITH, MILIKA IS HER NAME, SHE
CHOREOGRAPHED THE DANCE, TOO AND WHEN I FIRST WALKED INTO THE BIG REHEARSAL WITH
EVERYBODY, I WALKED INTO THE GYM WHERE WE WERE DOING THE REHEARSAL.
AND I GOT REALLY EMOTIONAL, IT WAS LIKE 50 SOUTH ASIAN PEOPLE [ CHEERS ]
AND I WAS LIKE - YEAH, MAN! CHEER FOR SOUTH ASIA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SO MANY YEARS YOU BARELY HAVE ANY SOUTH ASIAN PEOPLE, AND
THEN SUDDENLY THERE'S LIKE 52 OF US IN ONE SCENE, YOU KNOW
IT WAS AWESOME >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S
A LITTLE TOUGH BECAUSE IT'S -- THERE ARE 52 PEOPLE AND 51 OF THEM ARE PROFESSIONAL DANCERS.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THE ONE WHO IS IN FOCUS IS REALLY TRYING TO HANG ON
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, NO, NO, NO I GOT TO SAY, I'M JUST -- I'M
HAPPY FOR YOU, COULDN'T HAPPEN TO NICER GUY >> WELL, THANK YOU
>> Jimmy: ALL THE SUCCESS. BUT THIS IS MAJOR ON SO MANY LEVELS
>> I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH I'M JUST SO THRILLED TO BE PART OF IT.
>> Jimmy: GOOD MAN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
HERE'S KUMAIL NANJIANI IN "ETERNALS. TAKE A LOOK.
>> CUT OKAY
EVERYONE THAT WAS GOOD WE CAN DO 10% BETTER THOUGH. >> THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
VERY, VERY GOOD. >> AH! ALL MY FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE ARE
HERE BOSS, PERFECT TIMING WELCOME TO THE SET OF --
[ SPEAKING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE ] YOU LIKE THE COSTUME?
>> WE NEED TO TALK >> TELL THE DIRECTOR I HAVE NOTES FOR HIM.
>> WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU IN PRIVATE. >> OH, KARUN, HE'S WORKED WITH
ME FOR 50 YEARS. I TRUST HIM COMPLETELY ACTUALLY, WHEN WE FIRST MET HE
THOUGHT I WAS VAMPIRE AND TRIED TO STAKE ME THROUGH THE HEART. >> I HAVE APOLOGIZED SO MANY
TIMES. >> NOT QUITE ENOUGH TIMES. VERY CLOSE THOUGH.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW. >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, COME ON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE VERY FUNNY, BUD. KUMAIL NANJIANI EVERYBODY!
"ETERNALS" OPENS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY. FRED ARMISEN JOINS US AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS AN
EMMY AND GRAMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR AND COMEDIAN HE VOICES ONE OF THE CHARACTERS
IN THE HIT SHOW "BIG MOUTH," THE NEW SEASON PREMIERES THIS FRIDAY ON NETFLIX.
EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME, FRED ARMISEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: THAT IS FRED ARMISEN
RIGHT THERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> HI. >> Jimmy: SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE >> I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE
>> Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU IN STUDIO. YOU'VE BEEN SO NICE TO COME ON
THE SHOW THROUGH ZOOMS AND ALL THAT STUFF >> AND WHERE WAS THAT?
WAS THAT HANGING ON A SCREEN HERE >> Jimmy: IT WAS A SCREEN
BEHIND YOU YEAH, AND SO THAT'S WERE YOU WERE
AND WEIRDLY ENOUGH, YOU WERE IN THE BUILDING, ZOOMING. >> OH, YES
>> Jimmy: YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ME INTO THE STUDIO TO SEE ME
>> NO, NO. I MEAN, I LIVE RIGHT HERE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, WHICH --
>> I'M IN THE APARTMENT RIGHT THAT WAY >> Jimmy: OH
[ LAUGHTER ] ARE WE TOO LOUD OR OUR WE -- >> YOU'RE TOTALLY FINE
>> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE ON "BIG MOUTH" ON NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY.
YOU'RE A VOICE OF ONE OF THE CHARACTERS CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT.
AND THEN ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT CAME OUT I WAS VERY EXCITED
I DIDN'T -- I SHOULD CONGRATULATED YOU. SORRY ABOUT THAT
BUT CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE ONE OF THE VOICES IN THE NEW SUPER MARIO BROTHERS
MOVIE. >> YEAH. YEAH
THE MOVIE. >> Jimmy: MOVIE. YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> MOVIE IT'S CALLED A MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: IT'S CALLED A MOVIE. GOOGLE IT. >> LOOK IT UP.
>> Jimmy: LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY >> YEAH.
YEAH >> Jimmy: IT'S CALLED A MOVIE. >> IT'S A MOVIE.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU LASTED OH, I DON'T KNOW, DECADES. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LOOK IT UP IN THESAURUS. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ANOTHER NAME FOR IT IS FILM. >> YEAH.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH >> MOVIES.
>> Jimmy: IT'S CALLED MOVIES >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> GO TO ONE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BE IN ONE.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER ENCYCLOPEDIAS?
>> YEAH. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW BIG THEY WERE, AND HOW MANY YOU WOULD
HAVE >> Jimmy: YEAH, I HAD A WHOLE COLLECTION
>> YEAH. LIKE, THAT'S WHAT YOU WENT TO. LIKE, "WELL, WE'LL LOOK IT UP.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, AND WE GO, "OH YEAH, WE'LL LOOK IT UP." YEAH
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THEN MICROSOFT ENCARTA.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, STUFF LIKE THAT
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: SO, WE'LL TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT.
>> WHO WILL >> Jimmy: WE GET OUT ON THE AIR.
>> WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT ENCYCLOPEDIAS AND -- >> Jimmy: YEAH, STUFF LIKE
THAT >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: MICROSOFT ENCARTA.
YOU KNOW [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE BRING UP PRODIGY. YOU'LL GO, "DO YOU REMEMBER
PRODIGY? AND I'LL SAY, "YEAH I DO." THEN YOU'LL SAY, "OH, DO YOU
REMEMBER DIALING THE PHONE -- THE PHONE DIALING GO - [ STATIC ]
I'LL GET A LAUGH >> BUT SHOULD I DO IT TO THE AUDIENCE
DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE LIKE, "DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER?"
IT SHOULD BE MORE LIKE THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS ]
IT SHOULD BE MORE LIKE THAT, LIKE -- RIGHT? >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH
SO MAYBE, YOU COME OUT I SIT HERE NO, NO, NO, YOU SIT THERE.
>> I SIT HERE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND THEN YOU GOT TO GO LIKE -- I GO -- I'LL
SAY MICROSOFT ENCARTA AND YOU GO - >> "DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE
SOUND? [ LAUGHTER ] THAT KIND OF VOICE
[ CHEERS ] YEAH, A LITTLE CHEER >> Jimmy: THAT'S A BIT
AND YOU DO THAT. AND THEN YOU GO OUT THERE AND YOU DO THE PART.
[ INDISCERNIBLE >> SO THEN I'M SORT OF SURPRISED.
I GO, "WHOA, NO -- AND YOU'VE BEEN THERE." >> Jimmy: YES.
YEAH, AND YOU SAY -- >> AND GREECE IS BEAUTIFUL >> Jimmy: YEAH, TALK ABOUT
GREECE >> WONDERFUL THE GREECE
>> Jimmy: I'LL GO, "HEY, SANDY, I CAN'T BELIEVE. YOU GO, "NOT THAT ONE.
>> "NOT THAT ONE." >> Jimmy: DON'T BE SILLY AND I GO, "YEAH, SORRY BACK TO
THE PROJECT. >> YEAH, BACK TO THE PROJECT >> Jimmy: I HAD GOOD TIME,
FILMING IN GREECE. >> YEAH, FILMING IN GREECE >> Jimmy: TELL THE DIRECTOR'S
A GOOD FRIEND. >> A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, GENIUS
>> Jimmy: GENIUS >> YOU KNOW, ON THE PHONE. YOU WERE FANTASTIC
[ LAUGHTER ] >> FUNNY STORY, I GUESS. SO THEY ORDERED FALAFEL AND
THIS GUY LOOKS AT ME, AND YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND HE GOES "WE'RE NOT OPEN" AND NOW I FEEL AWFUL [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I THINK IT WILL WORK. >> Jimmy: I ORDER A FALAFEL, AND NOW I FEEL AWFUL
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANY OF THIS STUFF YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL MATERIAL.
>> I LIKE IT >> Jimmy: I WANT YOU TO COME OUT AND BE REAL.
>> I LIKE -- THIS IS VERY MUCH THE REAL ME AND I LIKE TALKING ABOUT THOSE THINGS
>> Jimmy: WAIT, SO FRED TALK TO ME ABOUT "BIG MOUTH. SO YOU'RE IN THIS SHOW AND WHO
DO YOU PLAY? YOU'RE NICK KROLL'S DAD? >> I'M HIS DAD
>> Jimmy: IT'S FUN TO DO >> AND HIS NAME IS ELLIOT. AND IT'S BASED -- THE VOICE --
THIS IS FOR REAL I KNOW I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF BITS
YOU GUYS ARE PATIENT AND SO NICE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BUT I DID THE VOICE TO SOUND LIKE HENRY WINKLER >> Jimmy: REALLY
>> YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE IN INTERVIEWS HE'S VERY -- HE'S VERY WARM.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S AMAZING HENRY WINKLER,
IMPRESSION THAT IS EXACTLY HIM. >> OH, THANKS.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS AMAZING. >> THANKS. THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ACTUALLY SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE -- >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> BECAUSE HE'S SINCERE AND -- >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> -- HE TALKS ABOUT -- YOU CAN HEAR A LITTLE BIT OF NEW YORK IN THERE A LITTLE.
>> Jimmy: YES. A LITTLE BIT OH, MY GOSH.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> VERY SO LIKE -- >> Jimmy: DUDE, HAVE YOU EVER
DONE THIS FOR HENRY? >> NO, I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT DOING IT, BUT ONLY FOR THE
VOICE FOR THIS >> Jimmy: HE'S GOING TO FREAK OUT.
THIS IS HIM. >> WOW, THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU. >> Jimmy: THAT'S AN AMAZING
HENRY, I'M FREAKING OUT, YEAH. I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S FRED IN THE NEW SEASON
OF "BIG MOUTH. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> OKAY, I GET IT. I'VE HEARD YOU
YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE. YOU WANT A DIVORCE THAT'S FINE.
ALL I ASK IS 100% CUSTODY OF YOU. >> I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE,
ELLIOT I JUST WANT TO HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER
HAVING SEX >> OH, YOU WANT A REAL CONVERSATION, DO YOU
>> YES, I DO >> WELL, HERE'S WHAT I THINK LEAH IS READY TO HAVE SEX WHEN
LEAH SAYS SHE'S READY TO HAVE SEX BECAUSE WE MADE LEAH READY TO HAVE SEX WHEN LEAH'S READY
TO HAVE SEX. >> I KNOW, BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME HAVE MY FEELINGS ABOUT IT
>> I'M YELLING, BUT I'M ACTUALLY VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: MORE WITH FRED ARMISEN WHEN WE COME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW." COME BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE ONE AND ONLY, FRED ARMISEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
FRED, LAST TIME I ASKED YOU, I BEGGED YOU TO DO SO IMPRESSIONS AND YOU DID.
AND YOU WERE VERY NICE AND NOW I'M ASKING YOU AGAIN TO DO ANOTHER THING
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M ASKING YOU TO WORK. >> HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
>> Jimmy: OKAY >> HERE'S SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE TO TRY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> SO WHAT I WANT TO DO IS, I GIVE EXAMPLES OF STRUMMING STYLES
* BUT THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE, STRUMMING STYLES OF PUNK AND
ALTERNATIVE MUSIC FROM 1 1970 TO 2000 THIS IS A SORT OF, TRUNCATED
VERSION OF HOW PEOPLE PLAYED THE GUITAR SO WE'LL START WITH 1970, AND
THERE ARE FEWER LIKE SOLOS AND STUFF LIKE THAT. IT WAS A LITTLE MORE, THEY HAD
MORE LIKE RHYTHM TO IT AND PERCUSSION SO LIKE, SOMETHING LIKE VELVET
UNDERGROUND WAS KIND OF LIKE - * * GOING DOWN THE BOULEVAR
WITH THE FLOWER * [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT KIND OF THING, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: BOULEVARD. >> SO THEN LIKE -- SO THEN LIKE MID-'70s, THERE WAS STUFF LIKE
THE RAMONES AND STUFF AT CBGB's, VERY DRIVING LIKE -- *
* I JUST WANT TO WATCH TV MY BABY'S GIVING M A LOBOTOMY *
* THAT KIND OF THING >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> BUT THEN IN --- >> Jimmy: GOING DOWN THE BOULEVARD WITH A FLOWER
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> AND THEN IN ENGLAND, LIKE 1977, SAME KIND OF THING, BUT
LIKE A LITTLE MORE ANGULAR, AND SORT OF LIKE - *
* DON'T GO TO THE AMBULANCE DON'T GO TO THE AMBULANC DON'T GO TO THE AMBULANC
DON'T RUN ON * >> Jimmy: YEAH, LOVE THAT. >> YEAH, THAT KIND OF THING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU
THEN LIKE 1980, LIKE POSTPUNK, THEY SORT OF LIKE DIDN'T DO CHORDS THAT MUCH
IT WAS A LITTLE BIT MORE LIKE - *
* I AM A NEON LIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I AM A NEON LIGH
I AM THE NEON LIGHT * >> Jimmy: YEAH, GREAT. LOVE THAT.
>> THEN EARLY '80s, THERE WAS LIKE A SORT OF COUNTRY MUSIC FEEL TO LIKE, PUNK
IT WAS KIND OF LIKE -- * YEAH, THAT KIND OF THING
[ APPLAUSE ] AND THEN THERE WAS LIKE A SORT OF MID-'80s, LATE '80s LIKE
SONIC YOUTH, WOULD DO THIS THING WHERE LIKE THE CORDS WOULD BE A LITTLE DISCORDANT
SO IT'D BE LIKE -- * * CANDLELIGHT, ON A BOOTH *
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH WOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I REMEMBER THAT. >> AND THEN DO YOU REMEMBER THE EARLY '90s, LIKE A LITTLE SKA
THING HAPPENING? AND VERY PLAYFUL, KIND OF LIKE -
* * YOUR MOM AND DA WERE THE BES
YOU'VE EVER HAD * * >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THAT KIND OF THING. AND THEN A SEATTLE/PACIFIC
NORTHWEST, YOU KNOW, THEY DID DID A LOT OF OCTAVES, LIKE - *
KIND OF LIKE HALF TIME * YEA YEAH *
>> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. >> THEN LIKE, SLEATER-KINNEY WOULD BE LIKE, MORE SINGLE
NOTES. * * DON'T GO SISTER
OUT OF CONTROL * >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT LOVE THAT.
>> THEN LIKE, 2000 THINGS GOT VERY MELODIC, A LOT OF CLEAR CHORDS, YOU KNOW.
LIKE, CROONING, A LOT OF LIKE HAPPY SINGING. YOU KNOW, LIKE -
* COME OUT WITH ME AGAI I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU THROUGH THE STRATOSPHERE *
YEAH, YOU KNOW * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: FRED ARMISEN, EVERYBODY!
SEASON FIVE OF "BIG MOUTH" PREMIERES FRIDAY ON NETFLIX. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM LUCY DACUS. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "VBS" FROM HER ALBUM "HOME VIDEO," PLEASE
WELCOME LUCY DACUS
*
* IN THE SUMMER OF '0 I WAS SURE I'D GO TO HEAVE BUT I WAS HEDGIN
MY BETS AT VBS * * THE PREACHER IN A T-SHIRT TOLD ME I COULD BE A LEADE
TAUGHT ME HOW TO BUILD A FIR AND TO SPREAD THE WORD * * IN THE EVENING EVERYBODY WENT
TO WORSHIP AND WEE HANDS ABOVE OUR HEAD REACHING FOR GOD *
* BACK IN THE CABIN SNORTIN NUTMEG IN YOUR BUNK BE YOU WERE WAITING FOR A
REVELATION OF YOUR OWN * * SEDENTARY SECRETS LIK PEACH PITS IN YOUR GUT
LOCKED AWAY LIKE JAM JARS IN THE CELLAR OF YOUR HEART * * WAITING TO BE TASTED AN
ULTIMATELY WASTE YOU WERE GONNA WIN ME OVER FROM THE START *
* YOUR POETRY WAS SO BA IT TOOK A LOT TO NOT LAUGH YOU SAID THAT
SHOWED YOU THE LIGHT * * BUT ALL IT DI IN THE END WAS MAKE TH
DARK FEEL DARKER THAN BEFORE * *
* YOUR DAD KEEPS HIS SLEEVE DOWN THROUGH THE SUMME FOR A REASON *
* YOUR MOTHER WEARS HER MAKEUP EXTRA THIC FOR A REASON *
* WHEN I TELL YOU YOU WERE BORN AN YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON *
* YOU ARE NOT CONVINCED THE REASON IS A GOOD ONE WHILE YOU'RE GOING TO SLEE
YOUR MIND KEEPS YOU AWAKE * * AND IT MAKES YOUR HEART BEAT FAST AND LOUD
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO * * BUT THE ONLY THIN YOU FOUND PLAYING SLAYER
AT FULL VOLUME HELPS TO BLOCK IT OUT * *
[ SCREAMS * YOUR POETRY WAS SO BA IT TOOK A LOT TO NOT LAUGH
YOU SAID THA I SHOWED YOU THE LIGHT * * BUT ALL IT DI
IN THE END WAS MAKE TH DARK FEEL DARKER THAN BEFORE *
* DARK FEEL DARKE THAN BEFOR DARK FEEL DARKER
THAN BEFORE *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: LUCY DACUS "HOME VIDEO" IS OUT RIGHT NOW. MY THANKS TO KUMAIL NANJIANI,
FRED ARMISEN LUCY DACUS ONCE AGAIN. AND THE ROOTS FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE