>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER, IN THE
HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JEFF DANIELS
CHLOE FINEMAN, MUSICAL GUEST THE FLAMING LIPS AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1526 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: AH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HEY, THANK YOU HAVE A SEAT, ENJOY YOURSELF. WELCOME EVERYBODY.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. I APPRECIATE YOU BEING HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANKS FOR WATCHING. THAT'S A CROWD RIGHT THERE
WELL, GUYS AS THE PUSH TO GET MORE AMERICANS VACCINATED CONTINUES, TODAY, ASTRAZENECA
ANNOUNCED THAT ITS VACCINE WAS FOUND TO BE 74% EFFECTIVE IN THE COMPANY'S LATEST U.S.
TRIAL. 74%? AMERICANS TOLD ASTRAZENECA, "I
THINK YOU GUYS NEED TO DO MORE OF YOUR OWN RESEARCH." [ LAUGHTER ]
74 YEAH ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IT'S 100%
EFFECTIVE AT MAKING JOHNSON & JOHNSON FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEIR VACCINE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE'RE IN THE HIGH 70s. 76
74% ISN'T GREAT, I MEAN, EVEN HORSE DEWARMERS AT 75% >> Steve: REALLY
>> Jimmy: YEAH BUT HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS. JUST HOURS AGO, CONGRESS PASSED
A BILL BEFORE THE MIDNIGHT DEADLINE TO AVOID A GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT THE BILL WILL KEEP THE
GOVERNMENT FUNDED THROUGH EARLY DECEMBER SMART.
FIGURE THIS OUT AROUND THE HOLIDAYS WHEN THINGS ARE LESS STRESSFUL.
[ LAUGHTER ] I -- I TOTALLY AGREE THAT'S RIGHT
CONGRESS IS GIVING THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ANOTHER TWO MONTHS TO FIGURE IT OUT
THEY SOUND LESS LIKE LAWMAKERS, MORE LIKE BOOKIES. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GOT TWO MONTHS YOU GOT TWO MONTHS TO FIGURE THIS OUT
ALL RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] WHEN I COME BACK I'LL BRING
A BASEBALL BAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT
CONGRESS - >> Tariq: DID -- DID YOU GET STUNG BY A BEE
LIKE - >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN
>> Tariq: BASEBALL, BUT YOU BASS - >> Jimmy: NO, I -- I DIDN'T GET
THE CALL BACK FOR MY AUDITION FOR THE NEW SOPRANOS MOVIE, BUT --
[ LAUGHTER ] "THE - >> Steve: I THOUGHT IT WAS
JERRY LOUIS. >> Jimmy: MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK," YEAH.
>> Steve: JERRY LEWIS, THOUGH. >> Jimmy: "BUT WHEN I COME BACK, I'M GONNA BRING MY
BASEBALL BAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT'S CONFUSING, BECAUSE YOU GO,
"YOU FEEL THREATENED - [ APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: "YOU FEEL THREATENED," BUT IT'S ALSO -- IT'S, KIND OF, FUNNY
>> Steve: YEAH, THEY LET HIM DOWN >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
EXCEPT A LITTLE -- >> Steve: "WOAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I COULD DO IT
THE OTHER WAY LIKE, "YOU GOT TWO MONTHS OR ELSE I'M GONNA BRING MY BASEBALL BAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: THAT'S SCARIER YEAH
>> Jimmy: WHATEVER THE DIRECTOR WANTS -- >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: I CAN DO >> Steve: YOU GET IT, MAN. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I CAN HIT ALL.
I CAN DO EVERYTHING. YOU EDIT >> Steve: YEAH
ALL RIGHT, YOU BE SCARED DO IT TO ONE OF YOUR SCARED, LIKE, YOUR SCARED TONE
>> Jimmy: I'M SCARED >> Steve: YEAH, YOU'RE SCARED. >> Jimmy: "YOU GOT TWO MONTHS
AND THEN I'LL BE BACK WITH A A BASEBALL BAT." [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH, MY GOSH. *
* SOME OF LOVIN * [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT CONGRESS MAY HAVE
NARROWLY AVOIDED A SHUTDOWN, BUT THEIR INFRASTRUCTURE BILL IS STILL IN PERIL AND THEY
MIGHT RUN OUT OF MONEY SOON. EVERYONE IN WASHINGTON IS STRESSED OUT AND SOME MEMBERS
OF CONGRESS HAVE EVEN STARTED RELEASING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
FOR EXAMPLE, CONGRESSMAN DAVID PRICE SAID, "IF WE DON'T WORK TOGETHER, THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE WILL PAY THE ULTIMATE -- WELL, MY LAST NAME." [ LAUGHTER ]
NEXT UP, CONGRESSMAN JOSH HARDER SAID, "WE DEMOCRATS ARE TRYING TO HELP BUT THE
G.O.P. HAS MADE EVERYTHING -- WELL, MY LAST NAME." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THEN CONGRESSMAN, TOM REED, WAS LIKE, "DOES ANYONE EVEN LOOK AT THESE BILLS?
SOMETIMES I WONDER IF MY COLLEAGUES CAN'T EVEN -- WELL, MY LAST NAME."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CONGRESSMAN JEFF DUNCAN SAID, "WE'RE GOING TO STAY UP ALL
NIGHT TO FIX THIS THING. I'LL BRING THE COFFEE BECAUSE AMERICA RUNS ON -- WELL, MY
LAST NAME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN SENATOR, JON OSSOFF, SAID,
"SOME PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO BE TRYING AT ALL. MEANWHILE, I'M OVER HERE
WORKING MY LITTLE -- WELL, MY LAST NAME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CONGRESSMAN -- CONGRESSMAN PATT FALLON SAID, "MAYBE IF WE FIX THINGS, WE'LL BE INVITED TO
APPEAR ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY -- WELL, MY LAST NAME
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN CONGRESSWOMAN ANNA ESHOO SAID, "I KNOW WE CAN GET THIS
DONE, SO LET'S HAMMER THIS OUT AT -- SNEEZE COMING HOT -- AH, MY LAST NAME."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, CONGRESSMAN DUTCH RUPPERSBERGER SAID, "NO
COMMENT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MAN OF FEW WORDS >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S BEEN A BIG
WEEK FOR LAWMAKERS LAST NIGHT WAS THE ANNUAL CONGRESSIONAL BASEBALL GAME
WITH DEMOCRATS FACING OFF AGAINST REPUBLICANS AT NATIONALS PARK
IT WAS JUST BASEBALL, NO POLITICS, UNTIL THE REPUBLICAN CATCHER WENT NUTS ABOUT HAVING
TO WEAR A MASK [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S BASEBALL.
THIS IS FUN, PRESIDENT BIDEN STOPPED BY FOR THE GAME. ALL THOUGH, IT WAS A LITTLE
CREEPY WHEN HE LEFT, LIKE, DISAPPEARING INTO A CORN FIELD [ LAUGHTER ]
"IF YOU BUILD BACK BETTER? HE WILL GO." AND GET THIS, AS IF WE'RE NOT
DEALING WITH ENOUGH HERE, I READ THAT THE PRICE OF BACON HAS SKY-ROCKETED TO A 40-YEAR
HIGH [ AUDIENCE AWS ] NOW WHEN YOU ORDER A BACON KING
AT THE BURGER KING DRIVE-THRU, THEY'RE LIKE, "PLEASE PULL YOUR MASERATI UP TO THE SECOND
WINDOW." [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, LET'S GET TO THE BIG
NEWS TODAY, I READ THAT McDONALD'S IS OFFICIALLY BRINGING BACK THE
McRIB NATIONWIDE, FOLKS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHEN ASKED HOW THEY'RE BRINGING
BACK THE McRIB DURING A PORK SHORTAGE, McDONALD'S SAID, "THOSE TWO THINGS AREN'T AS
RELATED AS YOU THINK." [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, I HEARD ABOUT AN
ARTIST IN DENMARK WHO IS COMMISSIONED BY A MUSEUM FOR SOME PAINTINGS, BUT HE DECIDED
TO GO A DIFFERENT ROUTE WITH THE PROJECT. WATCH THIS
A MUSEUM IN DENMARK HAS CAUSED A STIR BETWEEN MANAGEMENT AND
THE ARTIST AND IT LOOKS LIKE A BLANK CANVAS
THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS THE MUSEUM LENT HIM $84,000 TO FILL BOTH EMPTY FRAMES
INSTEAD, THE ARTIST SENT EMPTY FRAMES AND CALLED THE WORK, "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: YUP, THE ARTIST IS
ACTUALLY BANKSY'S LAZY COUSIN, BLANSKY. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS EVERYBODY.
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE NEW SHOWTIME
SERIES, "AMERICAN RUST" WHICH IS GREAT, BY THE WAY BASED ON THE BOOK AND HE'S
RETURNING TO BROADWAY IN "TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD" AT THE SHUBERT THEATRE.
ALL WAYS A GREAT ACTOR, JEFF DANIELS IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND HE'S A GOOD GUY. I LOVE JEFF DANIELS. >> Steve: LOVE JEFF DANIELS.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HER ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH
RETURNS FOR A NEW SEASON THIS SATURDAY WITH HOST, OWEN WILSON, AND MUSIC GUEST,
KACEY MUSGRAVES. CHLOE FINEMAN IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: CHLOE. >> Jimmy: TALENTED >> Steve: OH, SHE'S THE BEST
>> Jimmy: SHE'S GOT IT AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM "THE FLAMING LIPS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH I LOVE THEM.
BIG SHOW YOU KNOW WHAT? IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE'S
TALKING ABOUT TOM BRADY, RIGHT NOW. I MEAN, THIS SUNDAY HE'S
PLAYING AGAINST THE PATRIOTS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE HE LEFT THE TEAM.
SO IT'S A HUGE DEAL. BUT GET THIS, HE ALSO ANNOUNCED THAT HE'S LAUNCHING HIS OWN
FASHION LINE FOR MEN CALLED, "BRADY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, IT TURNS OUT THAT WASN'T HIST FIRST NAME THAT HE CONSIDERED
>> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW >> Steve: HE CONSIDERED
DIFFERENT NAMES BESIDES THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE ALSO TRIED --
>> Tariq: OKAY, HERE WE GO >> Jimmy: TARIQ, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
>> Tariq: LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE GOING TO POKE FUN AT TOM BRADY BY SAYING A BUNCH OF FAKE
FASHION LINES. >> Jimmy: I MEAN, YEAH THAT WAS THE PLAN.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: AND THEN EACH ONE WILL HAVE A POP UP AS
A GRAPHIC, SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT AND LAUGH ABOUT IT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT. YEAH, WE OFTEN TAKE THE NEWS AND INSERT COMEDY.
>> Tariq: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS WILL GO DOWN. SO ON SCREEN, THERE WILL BE
A PICTURE OF TOM BRADY AND IT WILL SAY, YOU KNOW, "BRADY'S FASHION LINES," RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN, UNDER THAT, LIKE, YOU WILL LIST FAKE NAMES, LIKE,
"REALLY OLD NAVY." [ LAUGHTER ] OR "FOREVER 41."
[ LAUGHTER ] OR SOMETHING LIKE, "TOMMY, OVER THE HILL," FIGURE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: AND THEN, YOU WILL
TRY SOME OTHER JOKES LIKE, "TJ SACKS" OR "THE ABERCROMBIE AND RICH."
[ LAUGHTER ] OR -- OH, OH, "THE BURLINGTON GOAT FACTORY."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S A FUN BIT, YOU SHOULD DO IT
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WE'LL DO IT TOMORROW [ LAUGHTER ]
STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE FIRST ANNUAL "TONIGHT SHOW, PIZZA OFF," -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WOW.
WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. TARIQ AND I ARE ABOUT TO DO
SOMETHING FUN, TIME FOR THE FIRST ANNUAL "TONIGHT SHOW" PIZZA-OFF.
HERE WE GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE RULES ARE SIMPLE
THE RULES WERE MAKE ANY PIZZA YOU WANT, AND WHOEVER MAKES THE MOST DELICIOUS PIZZA POSSIBLE
IS THE WINNER AND GETS THEIR NAME ENGRAVED IN THE "TONIGHT SHOW" PIZZA-OFF GOLDEN PIZZA
SLICE. LOOK AT THIS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
OUR JUDGES HAVE SOUNDPROOF HEADPHONES, RIGHT? NOT WATCHING
SO TARIQ AND I, EARLIER, WE MADE OUR PIZZAS AND WE RECORDED THE WHOLE THING.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TARIQ IS GOING TO MAKE. HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING
TO MAKE. CHECK IT OUT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HEY GUYS, IT'S JIMMY, YOU MAY RECOGNIZE ME AS THE
"TONIGHT SHOW" BURGER-OFF CHAMPION *
>> YOU GOT IT! >> Jimmy: NUMBER ONE, THE NUMBER ONE BURGER.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU YEAH I GUESS I WON, NO BIG
DEAL I DON'T WANT TO GLOAT OR BRAG THAT I WON
>> Tariq: HEY, WHAT'S UP TARIQ TROTTER HERE I BEEN HEARING ABOUT HOW JIMMY
IS RUNNING AROUND NEW YORK CITY HE'S GOT HIS TROPHY ON HIS
NECKLACE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HE'S BRAGGING AND BOASTING >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, NOW I'VE
WON, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A LEGACY TO PROTECT. >> Tariq: I'M HERE TO SHUT THAT
DOWN TODAY I'M GONNA BE MAKING MY PIZZA MY PIE N' LOTUS PIZZA.
TURKEY, PEPPERONI, FRESH MOZZARELLA SAUCE AND I'M GONNA FINISH IT OFF WITH SOME HOT
HONEY. [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: I'M A TREND-SNIFFER.
AND I SNIFF OUT TRENDS I FEEL LIKE THERE'S BIG TREND IS CARB ON CARB HAPPENING RIGHT
NOW. SO I WENT WITH SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS ON A PIZZA
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FIRST OF ALL, YOU START WITH
THE DOUGH. YOU CAN EITHER MAKE IT YOURSELF OR I GO TO MY LOCAL PIZZERIA
AND JUST BUY DOUGH FROM THEM AND JUST STRETCH IT AROUND >> Tariq: I'M TERRIBLE WITH,
LIKE STRETCHING OUT PIZZA DOUGH. IT'S NEVER BEEN MY JAM
IT'S GOT A HOLE IN IT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, WE GOT ANOTHER DOUGH
>> Jimmy: A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THE TRICK TO MAKING A GOOD PIZZA DOUGH IS HEIGHT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE HOLES. NO ONE CAN SEE THE HOLES NEW "HALLOWEEN" MOVIE IS IN
THEATERS OCTOBER 31st, CHECK IT OUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Tariq: I DID BORROW A LITTLE BIT FROM MY DAYS WORKING IN PIZZARIA UNO, IN THAT I PUT THE
PEPPERONI ON BEFORE I PUT THE CHEESE >> Jimmy: I GET MY SAUCE FROM
A CAN CALLED BIANCO. AND WHAT YOU DO IS USE YOUR HANDS TO JUST SQUEEZE THE
TOMATOES AND MAKE THE SAUCE, JUST GET ANY LIKE, KIND OF AGGRESSION OUT
* >> Tariq: GOT TO DO THAT BEFORE YOU PUT IT IN THE OFTEN.
THIS A ROCK A BUY TECHNIQUE. ROCK A BUY PIZZA, BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO SLEEP
GOING NIGHT-NIGHT. READY TO GO NIGHT-NIGHT? >> Jimmy: INTO THE PIZZA OVEN
IT GOES. THEN YOU KIND OF WANT TO GO LIKE -
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: IT'S NOT WORKING
THE PIZZA'S NOT COMING OFF THE FIELD. >> Jimmy: THAT ONE ALMOST FELL
WHAT IT WOULD MEAN TO HAVE MY NAME ENGRAVED IN THE PIZZA TROPHY
I'D BE ON CLOUD NINE, OR AS THEY SAY IN ITALY CLOUD NINO NINO
NINTO? >> Tariq: TO HAVE MY NAME ENGRAVED ON THE "TONIGHT SHOW"
GOLDEN PIZZA SLICER, IT WOULDN'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL WHO CARES?
ALL RIGHT. SO I'M READY TO TAKE IT OUT. IT'S NOT BAD
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, NOW WE WANT TO GET OUR PASTA, YOU CAN TAKE A COUPLE OF MEAT BALLS,
AND MAKE THEM INTO SMALLER BITS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TARIQ HAS ON
HIS PIZZA, BUT I KNOW WHAT HE DOESN'T HAVE, MEAT BITS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
* >> Tariq: SECRET WEAPON, I'M A A HIT IT WITH SPICY HONEY.
GIVE IT A LITTLE KICK. >> Jimmy: BANANA PEPPERS NOW THIS IS WHEN I WIN
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. BOOM >> Tariq: NOW I FEEL LIKE I
USED TO HAVE BEEF WITH JIMMY BUT NOW, YOU KNOW, IT'S EVOLVED INTO PEPPERONI
THERE WE GO. DONE IT'S LEVELS.
>> Jimmy: YOU NEED GOOD INGREDIENTS. YES, YOU NEED A GOOD PIZZA
OVEN, BUT YOU ALSO YOU NEED RESPECT. AND THIS PIZZA WAS MADE WITH
RESPECT. >> Tariq: I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRASH TALK YOU JIMMY, I WILL
LET THE TASTE DO THE TALKING >> Jimmy: I THINK I WON AGAIN WITH THE SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL
PIZZA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> Tariq: WOW. >> Jimmy: WOW. INTERESTING.
ALL RIGHT, TO DECIDE THE WINING PIZZA WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST SERVING AS OUR MASTER PIZZA
JUDGE, HE'S FOUNDER OF SCOTT'S PIZZA TOURS. RUNS A PIZZA THEME NON-PROFIT
SLICE OUT HUNGER AND HOLDS THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR LARGEST COLLECTION OF PIZZA
BOXES. PLEASE WELCOME SCOTT WIENER.
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW, THANK YOU, SCOTT
I WASN'T DOING THAT -- >> Tariq: WHATEV >> Jimmy: I WASN'T DOING
THAT - >> Tariq: OKAY, OKAY >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T DO THIS
AFTER I SAW SCOTT. JUST QUICK LITTLE FIST BUMP THAT'S ALL
>> Tariq: YEP. >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR BEING HERE
I APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO THE SHOW I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS, YOUR WORK.
AND I ALSO LOVE YOUR BOOK. YOU HAVE THE WORLD'S LARGEST COLLECTION OF PIZZA BOXES.
>> I DO, IT'S TRUE >> Jimmy: WHEN DID IT START? RECENTLY OR NO
>> NO, MAN LIKE 12 YEARS AGO I STARTED COLLECTING PIZZA BOXES AND
NOTICED THAT THEY'RE NOT ALL THE SAME AND YOU KNOW, THEY'RE PIECES OF
ART, YOU KNOW. WHEN THEY HAVE A PIZZA IN THEM, PIZZA BOX, WHEN FLIPPED
VERTICAL, ART. >> Tariq: ART. I AGREE, SCOTT
THAT'S AWESOME >> THANK YOU [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S NOW TIME TO TRY PIZZA NUMBER ONE NUMERO UNO
>> ALL RIGHT, LETS SEE WHAT'S GOING ON OH, INTERESTING.
THERE'S SPAGHETTI ON THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S NOT A MISTAKE
THIS IS ACTUALLY - >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION
>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I LOVE PEPPERONCINI. SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
THIS ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE SERIOUS DOUGH. GREAT FERMENTATION FROM THE
EDGE SOME NICE OPEN CRUMB STRUCTURE, WHICH I ALWAYS LOOK FOR.
ON THE BOTTOM I SEE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD BAKE, YOU KNOW THINGS I'M LOOKING FOR
* [ LAUGHTER ] THAT WAS -
SALT >> Jimmy: IT'S GOT SOME SALT THERE.
>> SOMEONE GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY WITH THE SALT >> Jimmy: YEP, TOO MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. WELL, I GOT TO SAY, DECENT PIE
>> Jimmy: DECENT PIE >> Tariq: DECENT PIE >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Tariq: THAT PIE WAS DECENT. >> Jimmy: YUP, I AGREE WITH HIM.
>> NUMBER TWO. >> Jimmy: YUP, NUMBER TWO IS RIGHT.
>> OKAY. HERE'S WHAT I'M SEEING ON BOTH OF THESE, POST-OVEN BASIL.
I APPRECIATE THAT. YEAH OH, THERE'S HONEY ON THIS.
THERE'S HONEY. SUPER COMMON RIGHT NOW, HOT HONEY WITH A PORK PRODUCT ON
TOP. I'M LOVIN' THIS. >> Jimmy: PRETTY COMMON.
YEAH >> BOOM. A LITTLE DERIVATIVE, BUT YOU
KNOW THESE ARE BOTH LEGIT PIZZAS. SO -
[ LAUGHTER ] I HONESTLY, NO OFFENSE, GUYS, I EXPECTED A DISASTER FROM AT
LEAST ONE OF THESE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU TAKE OFFENSE
THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. >> Tariq: YEAH YES, I CONCUR.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS GREAT. NOW SCOTT, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH PLEASE WRITE DOWN YOUR CHOICE
FOR THE WINNING PIZZA AND PUT INTO THE OFFICIAL TONIGHT SHOW PIZZA-OFF BALLOT BOX
WILL IT BE PIZZA NUMBER ONE OR PIZZA NUMBER TWO YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE.
>> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: AND TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE VOTE IS COMPLETE AND
SECURE, SCOTT PLEASE LOCK IT IN THE BALLOT BOX JUST PUT IT IN THERE, YES.
AND THEN, NOW PLEASE FASTEN THE STRAIT JACKET AROUND THE BOX [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: YOU'RE GONNA DROP IT INTO A POOL OF WATER TOO >> Jimmy: FINALLY, THE
SHARK-PROOF CAGE WE DO ACTUALLY HAVE A SHARK-PROOF CAGE JUST TO MAKE
SURE [ APPLAUSE ] WE KNOW THEY'RE BOTH IN THERE.
CAN'T BE TAMPERED WITH NOW THAT THE VOTE IS SECURELY LOCKED IN, WE CAN REVEAL TO
SCOTT WHO MADE WHAT. DO YOU WANT TO GO FIRST? >> Tariq: I MADE THE PIZZA THAT
YOU ASSUMED WAS, YOU KNOW, THE DERIVATIVE PORK PRODUCT BY BUT I MADE IT WITH TURKEY
PEPPERONI, WHICH I HAVE NEVER SEEN IN ANY PIZZA PLACE ON EARTH.
SO - >> Jimmy: MAYBE A REASON I WENT WITH THE -- I THINK THE
HONEY TREND HAS COME AND GONE. [ LAUGHTER ] I BELIEVE THAT CARB ON CARB IS
THE FUTURE AND I WENT WITH DOUBLE CARB, PEOPLE ARE RUNNING MARATHONS,
PEOPLE OUT THERE, THEY NEED SOME STUFF I'M HERE TO HELP YOU
>> Tariq: INTERESTING. >> Jimmy: SO SCOTT, NOW CAN YOU NOW REMOVE SHARK PROOF CAGE AND
THE STRAIT JACKET FROM THE BALLOT BOX IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF
YOU NEED -- YOU CAN PROBABLY JUST OPEN THE TOP. I DON'T THINK IT'S LOCKED.
YOU CAN JUST OPEN IT >> IT'S NOT REALLY THAT SECURE, HUH.
>> Jimmy: NO, NOT REALLY >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. OKAY
LET'S SEE. >> Jimmy: OOH, GOSH. OH MY GOODNESS
I JUST WANT TO TELL THEM - [ BABBLING ] *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: WE BACK, BABY! WE BACK, BABY!
WHOO-WHOOOO! >> Jimmy: PUT IT BACK! HONEY, IF YOU'RE WATCHING, PUT
THE KIDS TO BED. THEY DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS. THE KIDS DON'T NEED TO SEE
THIS CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CHAMPION, TARIQ TROTTER!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * AND AGAIN THANK YOU TO
SCOTT WIENER, OUR PIZZA EXPERT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, BUD.
I APPRECIATE IT. >> THANK YOU, MAN. >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH JEFF DANIELS, EVERYBODY COME ON BACK I PUT TOO MUCH SALT ON IT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS
A TWO-TIME EMMY WINNER AND A A THREE-TIME TONY NOMINEE STARRING IN NEW SERIES,
"AMERICAN RUST," WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT 10:00 P.M. ON SHOWTIME
HE'S ALSO RETURNED TO BROADWAY IN "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD," WHICH -- I KNOW, HE'S AMAZING.
IT OPENS OCTOBER 5th AT THE SHUBERT THEATRE. PLEASE WELCOME JEFF DANIELS
EVERYBODY, COME ON
*
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHY YOU DO IT THAT'S JEFF DANIELS. SEE, THIS IS WHY YOU DO IT,
RIGHT? >> IT'S WHY YOU DO IT, IT'S WHY I'M BACK IN "MOCKINGBIRD."
I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S -- >> Jimmy: THE AUDIENCE >> IT'S THE LIVE AUDIENCE, THAT
ELECTRICITY YOU FEEL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: RIGHT?
IT GIVES YOU THE ENERGY. JEFF, I CONSIDER YOU ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS IN THE BUSINESS.
>> BIG STATEMENT >> Jimmy: WELL, I DO I DO, AND --
>> WELL, THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I WAS TRYING OUT SOME CHARACTERS IN MONOLOGUE AND I
THINK -- I DON'T KNOW, I JUST WANT, MAYBE, YOUR NOTES. >> THE BASEBALL BAT THING?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH YOU SAW IT >> I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD
>> Jimmy: YOU DID, RIGHT DID YOU BELIEVE THAT I WAS A A BOOKIE
>> IT HAD -- WELL, IT HAD -- IF JERRY LEWIS WAS A BOOKIE [ LAUGHTER ]
IT HAD THAT KIND OF -- WENT INTO THAT "BASEBALL BAT." >> Jimmy: "BASEBALL BAT.
BUT THAT KEEPS YOU GUESSING. YOU GO, "HEY, IS THIS GUY GOING TO BREAK MY LEGS?"
>> EXACTLY >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW, IT KEEPS YOU --
THANK YOU, YEAH. I DIDN'T GET THE PART, BUT -- YOU KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] AGAIN, I CAN DO LOTS OF DIFFERENT THINGS
IF THERE'S, LIKE, AN EXTRA IN "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I'M DOWN
THE STREET >> SURE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, YOU NEED SOMEONE TO COME ON, JUST GIVE ME A LINE.
>> GIVE YOU A LINE >> Jimmy: SURE GIVE ME A LINE, I'LL DO IT
>> UH, UH, UH -- >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE ATTICUS, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I'M ATTICUS >> Jimmy: OR MR. FINCH >> WHAT DO YOU WANT MR. EWELL?
>> Jimmy: OH, I'M MR. EWELL. >> YOU'RE BOB EWELL, YOU'RE THE BAD GUY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: MR. EWELL IS MY DAD. CALL ME BOB.
[ LAUGHTER ] HOW ABOUT THAT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
IMPROVISING. "WHAT DO YOU WANT MR. EWELL? AND THEN MR. EWELL TURNS AND
GOES, "MR. EWELL'S MY FATHER CALL ME BOB. [ LAUGHTER ]
RIGHT? >> SURE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, DON'T --
THINK ABOUT IT I'M DOWN THE STREET. I'LL GIVE YOU MY CELL AGAIN.
>> THE PART IS CAST, UNFORTUNATELY. >> Jimmy: THE PART IS CAST
I SAW THAT YOU AND YOUR WIFE -- YOU WERE RECENTLY YOU WERE IN THE PRESS BECAUSE SHE THREW OUT
THE FIRST PITCH. IT WAS INTERESTING BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
THROW OUT THE FIRST PITCH AT A A PITTSBURGH PIRATES GAME? >> WE WERE SHOOTING "AMERICAN
RUST" IN PITTSBURGH, YES >> Jimmy: DID SHE KNOW AT ALL? >> WE CALLED THE PIRATES, AND,
YOU KNOW, BEING ONE OF THE FEW CELEBRITIES IN PITTSBURGH AT THE MOMENT, THEY SAID YES.
AND THEY SAID, "WE'LL PUT YOU IN THE SUITE WITH THE OWNER," AND I SAID, "WELL, IT'S MY
WIFE'S BIRTHDAY. COULD YOU JUST GET HER A CAKE IN THE SUITE
MAYBE THE MASCOT COULD SHOW UP." AND BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN MARRIED
42 YEARS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I HAVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE OUT OF IDEAS. >> THERE IS NOTHING. SHE'S GOING "HOW ABOUT A
A LITTLE --" I SAID, "NO, NO, I'M DONE. I CAN'T.
AND THEN I SAID A CAKE, MAYBE THE MASCOT I MIGHT GET AWAY WITH THE
BIRTHDAY THAT WAY. WE'RE WALKING INTO THE PIRATES THING, AND THE PIRATES PR
PEOPLE ARE THERE, AND THEY SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR WIFE TO THROW OUT THE FIRST PITCH?"
AND I SAID, "YES, AND DON'T TELL HER." [ LAUGHTER ]
SO WE GET THERE AND WE GET TO THE DUGOUT AND WE GO, "OKAY, JEFF, IT'S TIME.
AND I GO, "ALL RIGHT, KATHLEEN, COME ON. SHE GOES, "WHAT?
I'M LIKE, "COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. AND SHE IS FROM THE UPPER
PENINSULA OF MICHIGAN, SO SHE CAN DIG IN AND GO, "I AIN'T MOVING
I AIN'T MOVING NO, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. SO I'M DRAGGING HER, AND SHE
STARTS TO GO - NOW WE'RE OUT TO THE MOUND AND I HAVE THE BALL, AND SHE GOES,
"WHAT AM I DOING OUT HERE? I SAID, "HERE, YOU'RE GOING TO THROW THE FIRST PITCH.
>> Jimmy: IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. >> AND THEN I -- YEAH.
AND WE'VE GOT, YOU KNOW, FANS IN THE STADIUM, MAYBE 15,000, I DON'T KNOW
AND SO I'M BACKING UP. AND SHE'S GOING, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" >> Jimmy: 42 YEARS, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> AND I'M TO THE HOME PLATE, AND NOW I'M GOING, "OH, MY GOD, I'VE GOT TO CATCH IT, BECAUSE
IF SHE THROWS IT AND ACTOR BOY DOESN'T CATCH IT, THEN IT'S VIRAL.
SO NOW I'M JUST -- SO, I'M LIKE THOSE GUYS AT THE TARMAC WHEN THE PLANE'S COMING IN WITH THE
ORANGE, I'M GOING, "ANYWHERE IN HERE." >> Jimmy: ANYWHERE, YEAH
OF COURSE. >> "I LOVE YOU HONEY I'M SORRY I DID THIS."
>> Jimmy: I'M BEGGING YOU. >> AND SHE DOES ONE OF THESE, AND THEN SHE THREW IT.
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE THE VIDEO. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE VIDEO HERE WE GO
>> Jimmy: YEAH COME ON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT IS LOVE [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S LOVE RIGHT THERE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "AMERICAN RUST."
IT'S ON SHOWTIME IT'S FANTASTIC I'VE SEEN TWO EPISODES, I
BELIEVE. >> SO I JUST LOVE STORIES ABOUT SMALL TOWN PEOPLE BUT TOLD NOT
IN A WAY THAT HOLLYWOOD DOES WHERE THEY COME IN AND POLISH IT UP AND, YOU KNOW, HOLLYWOOD
PEOPLE COME -- YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, I WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN THE
TOWN SO IT'S REAL AUTHENTIC.
AND THE WRITING ON IT IS SO STRONG THESE ARE GOOD PEOPLE.
DECENT PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE, AND THEY'RE MAKING SOME BAD CHOICES.
THERE'S A MURDER INVOLVED, AND -- BUT IT'S MORE ABOUT THE PEOPLE
AROUND IT. AND IT'S JUST -- I GOT SOME REALLY GOOD PEOPLE IN IT
AND I'M REAL PROUD OF IT THE FIRST THREE EPISODES THAT HAVE BEEN UP ARE JUST, LIKE,
THE SET UP WHAT HAPPENS LATER, IS JUST -- YOU CAN'T EVEN -- YOU DON'T
EVEN - >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY >> YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S
GONNA HAPPEN - >> Jimmy: I THINK I DO >> WHEW.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY >> YEAH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE SO I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW. I'M EVEN MORE EXCITED NOW, BECAUSE I'M INVESTED
I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S JEFF DANIELS IN "AMERICAN RUST."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
YOU RELEASE NOVICK FROM HIS
DUTIES >> ABOUT SIX MONTHS. HEY, I TOOK HIM TO N.A
I HELPED WORK HIS PROGRAM. HE WAS CLEAN FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE.
WHY AM I EVEN DEFENDING MYSELF >> BECAUSE YOU ALLOWED AN OFFICER USING ILLEGAL
SUBSTANCES TO REMAIN ON YOUR FORCE DURING A DRUG EPIDEMIC >> YOU WANT TO INDICT ME, YOU
KNOW WHERE I WORK. TUCKER, ARE WE DONE HERE >> I BELIEVE SO, YES
>> THEN SHERIFF, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO RETURN MY FORMER OFFICER'S PERSONAL
EFFECTS TO HIS WIDOW YOU OKAY WITH HOW I'M SPENDING MY MORNING
>> I AM CHIEF. >> THANK YOU YOU ALL HAVE A PLEASANT DAY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
JEFF DANIELS, EVERYBODY. "AMERICAN RUST" AIRS SUNDAYS AT 10:00 P.M. ON SHOWTIME
AND "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD" OPENS OCTOBER 5th. CHLOE FINEMAN JOINS US AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A
A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO YOU KNOW FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH RETURNS FOR A NEW
SEASON THIS SATURDAY WITH HOST OWEN WILSON AND MUSICAL GUEST KACEY MUSGRAVES.
EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME CHLOE FINEMAN!
* * >> Jimmy: OH, CHLOE FINEMAN!
IT IS SO GREAT TO SEE YOU >> AH, GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> Jimmy: I FEEL EVERY TIME I
SEE YOU YOU'RE IN A GLAMOUROUS, GORGEOUS OUTFIT. >> YES, WE WERE AT THE MET
GALA >> Jimmy: WE WERE AT THE MET GALA TOGETHER.
AND WE WITNESSED PETE DAVIDSON GOING TO THE BATHROOM AT THE WORSE TIME
>> YES RIGHT AS A GIGANTIC MARCHING BAND WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE.
AND HE WAS WARNED THAT THE BAND WAS SOON TO PERFORM. >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE WARNED HIM.
PETE WAS WITH US AT THE TABLE AT THIS BEAUTIFUL GALA HE GOES --
THEY WERE LIKE, "THE ENTERTAINMENT'S STARTING IN THREE MINTUES --
NO, NEXT SO EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.
THE ENTERTAINMENT IS BEGINNING. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND HE GOES, "I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I GOT TO GO PEE.
AND I GO, "OH NO IT'S A BAD A IDEA DON'T.
JUST WAIT FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT. AFTER THAT HE GOES, "YEAH, I
GOT TO GO. AND "THE ENTERTAINMENT IS STARTING."
AND HE GOES, "NAH, I'M JUST GOING TO GO QUICK. I GO, "OKAY, MAN."
>> RIGHT IT'S ALSO THE MET. SO YOU CAN'T PEE QUICKLY CASUE
YOU'RE IN A LARGE MUSEUM >> Jimmy: A MUSEUM, YEAH >> IT TAKE YOU TEN -- IT'S LIKE
TEN MILES TO EVERY BATHROOM. >> Jimmy: YEAH SO HE LEAVES AND WE IMMEDIATELY
GO THIS IS A BAD IDEA. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU HEAR LIKE -
* THE MARCHING BAND COMES IN 8'9" PETE DAVIDSON IS LIKE IN
THE MIDDLE OF A MARCHING BAND, LIKE MARCHING BACK IN. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE LIKE, "THAT IS SO -- THAT IS SO PETE DAVIDSON RIGHT THERE.
OH MY GOSH >> DRUGGED IN A KILT, YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: HOW'S EVERYTHING AT
SNL? ARE YOU EXCITED? >> YEAH IT'S AMAZING
WE'RE BACK AND YOU KNOW, IT'S OBVIOUSLY PANDEMY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. >> BUT LIGHT >> Jimmy: YEAH, OKAY GOOD.
AND YOU HAVE - OWEN'S READY TO GO >> AND OWEN'S READY TO GO.
>> Jimmy: COME ON, IT'S OWEN WILSON. IT'S OWEN WILSON
>> Jimmy: IT'S GOING TO BE FANTASTIC. >> LOVELY GUY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU DO AMAZING
IMPRESSIONS ON THIS SHOW I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE, YOU'RE FANTASTIC
HAVE PEOPLE REACHED OUT TO YOU AND SAY, "HEY, I LIKE THAT OR HEY, STOP DOING THAT?
>> OH, CONSTANTLY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> CONSTANTLY.
THERE'S NEVER BEEN A STOP DOING -- AT THE MET GALA IN THE BATHROOM, JULIA GARNER. WHO WAS
AMAZING ON "OZARK" WAS LIKE "WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE ME?" WHICH WAS NICE TO BE LIKE --
>> Jimmy: OH IT'S INTERESTING, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE ME? I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER
GOTTEN THAT. >> YEAH, WHY HAVEN'T YOU >> Jimmy: WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE
AN IMPRESSION OF ME? >> YEAH, WHAT THE HECK >> Jimmy: YEAH
YOU COULD PROBABLY NAIL HER. YOU COULD DO A GREAT - >> YEAH -- I'M WORKING ON IT
IT'S COMING. >> Jimmy: IT'S COMING? >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU GOT A A DIRECT MESSAGE FROM REECE WITHERSPOON.
>> I DID, YES, ON A MOUNTAIN TOP. >> Jimmy: NOW, WAS REECE ON
A MOUNTAIN TOP OR YOU WERE >> NO, I WILL DO THESE IMPRESSIONS AND THEN IT'S SORT
OF THIS PANIC OF LIKE I HUMILIATED MYSELF? OR LIKE DO THEY THINK I'M LIKE,
AWFUL? AND THEN THIS LIKE A LITTLE BLUE CHECK THING WILL APPEAR IN
YOUR INSTAGRAM DMs AND IT'S A CELEBRITY THAT YOU'VE DONE AN IMPRESSION OF, BUT YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT'S SAYING. AND TO ME IT'S LIKE A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE HUGE SO, I WAS ON THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN IN MONTANA.
DON'T ASK WHY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IN THE SUMMER, A SKI MOUNTAIN
AT THAT. YEAH, NOT SKIING, AND I ON DIDN'T HAVE SERVICE AND I WAS
WITH MY BEST FRIEND. I WAS LIKE "WE GOT TO GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN."
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THIS >> REECE
REECE! >> Jimmy: THE VIEW IS ALL GOOD, BUT I NEED THIS.
>> YEAH, SHE WAS SO NICE AND THEN I WAS LIKE AH >> Jimmy: AND REECE LIKED IT
>> YEAH, THEN WE WENT BACK UP THE MOUNTAIN >> Jimmy: YES!
SEE, YOU GO DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. I WOULD DO THAT FOR REECE WITHERSPOON.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: GO BACK DOWN AND THEN CLIMB BACK UP THE MOUNTAIN
>> YEAH, THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT
OF WIGS AS WELL. WE DISCUSSED THIS. HOW MANY WIGS DO YOU HAVE IN
YOUR HOME? >> I THINK AT THIS POINT, AS A A WOMAN, I HAVE ABOUT 200 WIGS
MAYBE. >> Jimmy: I LOVE HOW HIGH YOUR VOICE JUST GOT
DO YOU REALLY HAVE 200 WINGS >> AT LEAST 200 AT THIS POINT. [ LAUGHTER ]
I HEARD A STORY AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS TRUE BUT THAT BRAD PITT WAS DOING
DR. FAUCI ON SNL >> YES >> Jimmy: AND THEY NEEDED A WIG
FOR THAT AND CALLED YOU AND BORROWED A WIG FROM YOU? >> YEAH, SO WE WERE FRESH IN
THE LOCKDOWN AND YOU KNOW, YOU COULDN'T QUITE LIKE AMAZON A A WIG.
IT MIGHT NOT COME IN TIME. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH YOU COULDN'T SEND ANYTHING
>> YOU COULDN'T HAVE JEFF BEZOS WASN'T THERE FOR YOU THEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO, JEFFREY WASN'T AVAILABLE SO THEY -- TOM BROKER WAS LIKE, "I HEAR YOU GOT A STASH.
AND IT BECAME KIND OF DRUG DEAL, WHERE, LIKE, "YES, I DO HAVE A FAUCI WIG."
AND THEN A MAN SHOWED UP IN LIKE A HAZMAT SUIT AND I THREW IT IN A BAG.
I WIG DEALED >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DID A WIG DEAL
AND IT ENDED UP ON, HERE'S BRAD PITT. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THERE HE IS RIGHT THERE WEARING -- THAT'S THE WIG.
NOT BAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU CHLOE --
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: THANK YOU CHLOE FINEMAN FOR SAVING
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." >> THANKS. >> Jimmy: YOU REALLY DID
>> YEAH, I IMMEDIATELY SMELLED IT WHEN IT CAME. I IMMEDIATELY WAS LIKE -
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND I WORE IT. >> Jimmy: THE BEST EVER, YEAH.
>> AND I MEAN, HE SMELLS GREAT >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE DOES. HE'S AMAZING
ARE YOU UP FOR SOME NEW IMPRESSIONS GAME WHEN WE COME BACK
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO, BUD. WE'RE DOING SOME COOM NEW
IMPRESSIONS HERE WITH CHLOE FINEMAN. COME ON BACK EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH
CHLOE FINEMAN. WE LOVE CHLOE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I LOVE YOUR IMPRESSIONS. >> OH. >> Jimmy: I REALLY DO.
YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITES OUT THERE. I JUST -- WITH THAT IN MIND, I
WANTED TO CHALLENGE YOU TO SOMETHING NEW. IT'S TIME FOR "INTERVIEW OF
IMPRESSIONS. HERE WE GO
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS, OKAY >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH EACH OTHER, EXCEPT EVERY SO OFTEN
WE'RE GOING TO HEAR THIS DING SOUND -- [ DING ]
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: AND WHEN YOU HEAR THAT, YOUR GOING TO -- YOUR
IMPRESSION WILL CHANGE AS WE KEEP TALKING >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: IS THAT OKAY >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO
I'LL START THE CONVERSATION. WEATHER'S COOLING DOWN AS WE ALL KNOW
[ DING ] BIG FALL PLANS MAYBE >> OH, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
A PIE, DUMBASS [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YEAH
>> Jimmy: OH, JENNIFER OH MY GOODNESS [ DING ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A FRUIT. >> FALL IS FASCINATING
IT'S LIKE SUMMER BUT THEN IT'S COLDER THAN SUMMER, IT'S BIZARRE, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S SO INTERESTING, LIKE -- [ APPLAUSE ]
[ DING ] >> Jimmy: IT IS, IT IS SUMMER, BUT FALL
YEAH, NATALIE, YOU ARE CORRECT, YEAH >> OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE
FALL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, MY
JIMMY, I LOVE TO MAKE A SPICED CIDER WITH CARDAMOM AND NUTMEG [ LAUGHTER ]
STAR ANISE >> Jimmy: OH, STAR ANISE MERYL STREEP -- LIKE STAR
ANISE -- >> YES, YES, YOU KNOW THE DEVIL MIGHT WEAR PRADA, BUT THIS
AUTUMN BOTTOM WEARS SCARVES. [ DING ] >> Jimmy: OH, I LOVE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU WEAR SCARVES, YOU WEAR WHATEVER YOU LIKE
YEAH BUT JENNIFER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HALLOWEEN
>> WHAT DO I THINK [ CHLOE INTENSIFIES [ LAUGHTER ]
OH, IT'S CRAZY >> Jimmy: YEAH IT IS A LITTLE CRAZY THERE, YEAH.
[ DING ] KIRA, DO YOU PREFER HALLOWEEN OR JACK'O'LANTERNS OR PUMPKINS
>> VERY FRAGILE TO BE HERE [ LAUGHTER ] HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GOURD
LIKE, REALLY, TRULY, DEEPLY SEEN A GOURD >> Jimmy: A GOURD?
>> A GOURD >> Jimmy: A GOURD, NO. >> SORRY FOR MY DICTATION, IF
MY LIPS TOUCH EACH OTHER, I WILL DIE [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DID NOT KNOW THAT. [ DING ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT WAS JUDY GREEN >> Jimmy: WELL, ELIZABETH HOLMES, I MEAN,
YOU'RE CURRENTLY ON TRIAL. I MEAN, THIS IS -- >> YEAH.
YEAH >> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT -- ARE YOU OKAY TALKING ABOUT -- BEING
HERE AND TALKING ABOUT THE - >> I CAN SAY WHAT I CAN, YOU KNOW, FIRST, THEY --
[ LAUGHTER ] FIRST, THEY QUESTION YOU [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY CHALLENGE YOU >> Jimmy: OF COURSE THEY CHALLENGE YOU AND THEY QUESTION
YOU, YEAH. >> AND THEN THEY PUT YOU IN PRISON FOR 20 YEARS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO THEY -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ DING ] [ DING ]
THIS IS CHLOE FINEMAN, BY THE WAY.
* HOW DO YOU DO ALL OF THOSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CHLOE FINEMAN, AMAZING CHECK HER OUT ON THE NEW SEASON OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," THIS
WEEKEND WITH HOST OWEN WILSON AND MUSICAL GUEST KACEY MUSGRAVES.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM THE FLAMING LIPS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "MOTHER
I'VE TAKEN LSD" FROM THEIR ALBUM, "AMERICAN HEAD," HERE'S "THE FLAMING LIPS.
* * MOTHER I'VE TAKEN LSD
I THOUGHT IT WOULD SET ME FRE BUT NOW I THINK *
* IT'S CHANGED ME IT'S CHANGED M IT'S CHANGED M
IT'S CHANGED ME * * NOW I SEE THE SADNESS IN THE WORLD
I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SEE IT BEFORE * * NOW I SEE THE SADNESS
IN THE WORLD SAD SAD SAD SA SADNESS SADNESS *
* SADNESS SADNESS MOTHER THEY'VE TAKEN KIM TO THE WAR
PROBABLY WON'T SEE * * HER ANYMORE SHE TRIED TO ROB
THE DRUG STORE OH OH * *
* MOTHER DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TOMMY'S CRAS
YOU KNOW HE RIDE HIS MOTORCYCLE * * WAY TOO FAS
HE'S ALIVE BUT THEY SAY HE WON'T LAST *
* HE WON'T LAST NO HE WON'T LAST HE WON'T LAS
NOW I SEE THE SADNESS * * IN THE WORL I'M SORRY I DIDN'T
SEE IT BEFOR NOW I SEE THE SADNESS * * IN THE WORL
SAD SAD SAD SA SADNESS SADNES SADNESS SADNESS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: "THE FLAMING LIPS.
"AMERICAN HEAD" IS OUT NOW JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT JERRY SEINFIELD WILL BE HERE
AND WE HAVE MUSIC FROM TWICE MY THANKS TO JEFF DANIELS, CHLOE FINEMAN, THE FLAMING
LIPS, ONCE AGAIN AND THE ROOTS FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY