1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,345 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER, IN THE 2 00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,881 HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,850 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JEFF DANIELS 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,386 CHLOE FINEMAN, MUSICAL GUEST THE FLAMING LIPS AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,421 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1526 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:22,155 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,223 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:33,800 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:00:33,800 --> 00:01:06,766 >> Jimmy: AH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 10 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:09,069 HEY, THANK YOU HAVE A SEAT, ENJOY YOURSELF. WELCOME EVERYBODY. 11 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,571 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. I APPRECIATE YOU BEING HERE. 12 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,540 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANKS FOR WATCHING. THAT'S A CROWD RIGHT THERE 13 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:18,345 WELL, GUYS AS THE PUSH TO GET MORE AMERICANS VACCINATED CONTINUES, TODAY, ASTRAZENECA 14 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,948 ANNOUNCED THAT ITS VACCINE WAS FOUND TO BE 74% EFFECTIVE IN THE COMPANY'S LATEST U.S. 15 00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:31,458 TRIAL. 74%? AMERICANS TOLD ASTRAZENECA, "I 16 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:35,095 THINK YOU GUYS NEED TO DO MORE OF YOUR OWN RESEARCH." [ LAUGHTER ] 17 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,465 74 YEAH ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IT'S 100% 18 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:41,968 EFFECTIVE AT MAKING JOHNSON & JOHNSON FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEIR VACCINE. 19 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:53,980 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE'RE IN THE HIGH 70s. 76 20 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:56,616 74% ISN'T GREAT, I MEAN, EVEN HORSE DEWARMERS AT 75% >> Steve: REALLY 21 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,652 >> Jimmy: YEAH BUT HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS. JUST HOURS AGO, CONGRESS PASSED 22 00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:02,055 A BILL BEFORE THE MIDNIGHT DEADLINE TO AVOID A GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN. 23 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:05,058 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT THE BILL WILL KEEP THE 24 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:12,132 GOVERNMENT FUNDED THROUGH EARLY DECEMBER SMART. 25 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,534 FIGURE THIS OUT AROUND THE HOLIDAYS WHEN THINGS ARE LESS STRESSFUL. 26 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:20,206 [ LAUGHTER ] I -- I TOTALLY AGREE THAT'S RIGHT 27 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:23,076 CONGRESS IS GIVING THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ANOTHER TWO MONTHS TO FIGURE IT OUT 28 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,578 THEY SOUND LESS LIKE LAWMAKERS, MORE LIKE BOOKIES. [ LAUGHTER ] 29 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,181 YOU GOT TWO MONTHS YOU GOT TWO MONTHS TO FIGURE THIS OUT 30 00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,717 ALL RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] WHEN I COME BACK I'LL BRING 31 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:41,761 A BASEBALL BAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT 32 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,930 CONGRESS - >> Tariq: DID -- DID YOU GET STUNG BY A BEE 33 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:47,334 LIKE - >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN 34 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,602 >> Tariq: BASEBALL, BUT YOU BASS - >> Jimmy: NO, I -- I DIDN'T GET 35 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:53,440 THE CALL BACK FOR MY AUDITION FOR THE NEW SOPRANOS MOVIE, BUT -- 36 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,842 [ LAUGHTER ] "THE - >> Steve: I THOUGHT IT WAS 37 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,012 JERRY LOUIS. >> Jimmy: MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK," YEAH. 38 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,414 >> Steve: JERRY LEWIS, THOUGH. >> Jimmy: "BUT WHEN I COME BACK, I'M GONNA BRING MY 39 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:03,817 BASEBALL BAT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT'S CONFUSING, BECAUSE YOU GO, 40 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,653 "YOU FEEL THREATENED - [ APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: RIGHT. 41 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,188 >> Jimmy: "YOU FEEL THREATENED," BUT IT'S ALSO -- IT'S, KIND OF, FUNNY 42 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,057 >> Steve: YEAH, THEY LET HIM DOWN >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH 43 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,859 EXCEPT A LITTLE -- >> Steve: "WOAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I COULD DO IT 44 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,496 THE OTHER WAY LIKE, "YOU GOT TWO MONTHS OR ELSE I'M GONNA BRING MY BASEBALL BAT. 45 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:20,867 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: THAT'S SCARIER YEAH 46 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,836 >> Jimmy: WHATEVER THE DIRECTOR WANTS -- >> Steve: YEAH 47 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,238 >> Jimmy: I CAN DO >> Steve: YOU GET IT, MAN. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I CAN HIT ALL. 48 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,440 I CAN DO EVERYTHING. YOU EDIT >> Steve: YEAH 49 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,409 ALL RIGHT, YOU BE SCARED DO IT TO ONE OF YOUR SCARED, LIKE, YOUR SCARED TONE 50 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,145 >> Jimmy: I'M SCARED >> Steve: YEAH, YOU'RE SCARED. >> Jimmy: "YOU GOT TWO MONTHS 51 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:37,484 AND THEN I'LL BE BACK WITH A A BASEBALL BAT." [ LAUGHTER ] 52 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:44,391 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH, MY GOSH. * 53 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:49,529 * SOME OF LOVIN * [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT CONGRESS MAY HAVE 54 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,364 NARROWLY AVOIDED A SHUTDOWN, BUT THEIR INFRASTRUCTURE BILL IS STILL IN PERIL AND THEY 55 00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:58,905 MIGHT RUN OUT OF MONEY SOON. EVERYONE IN WASHINGTON IS STRESSED OUT AND SOME MEMBERS 56 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,308 OF CONGRESS HAVE EVEN STARTED RELEASING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. 57 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:05,812 FOR EXAMPLE, CONGRESSMAN DAVID PRICE SAID, "IF WE DON'T WORK TOGETHER, THE AMERICAN 58 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:13,119 PEOPLE WILL PAY THE ULTIMATE -- WELL, MY LAST NAME." [ LAUGHTER ] 59 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,754 NEXT UP, CONGRESSMAN JOSH HARDER SAID, "WE DEMOCRATS ARE TRYING TO HELP BUT THE 60 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:24,731 G.O.P. HAS MADE EVERYTHING -- WELL, MY LAST NAME." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 61 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:28,868 THEN CONGRESSMAN, TOM REED, WAS LIKE, "DOES ANYONE EVEN LOOK AT THESE BILLS? 62 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:37,177 SOMETIMES I WONDER IF MY COLLEAGUES CAN'T EVEN -- WELL, MY LAST NAME." 63 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,612 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CONGRESSMAN JEFF DUNCAN SAID, "WE'RE GOING TO STAY UP ALL 64 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:45,085 NIGHT TO FIX THIS THING. I'LL BRING THE COFFEE BECAUSE AMERICA RUNS ON -- WELL, MY 65 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:50,523 LAST NAME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN SENATOR, JON OSSOFF, SAID, 66 00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:54,994 "SOME PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO BE TRYING AT ALL. MEANWHILE, I'M OVER HERE 67 00:04:54,994 --> 00:05:02,035 WORKING MY LITTLE -- WELL, MY LAST NAME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 68 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,770 CONGRESSMAN -- CONGRESSMAN PATT FALLON SAID, "MAYBE IF WE FIX THINGS, WE'LL BE INVITED TO 69 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:07,674 APPEAR ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY -- WELL, MY LAST NAME 70 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:14,280 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN CONGRESSWOMAN ANNA ESHOO SAID, "I KNOW WE CAN GET THIS 71 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:23,957 DONE, SO LET'S HAMMER THIS OUT AT -- SNEEZE COMING HOT -- AH, MY LAST NAME." 72 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:29,062 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, CONGRESSMAN DUTCH RUPPERSBERGER SAID, "NO 73 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:35,769 COMMENT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 74 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,738 MAN OF FEW WORDS >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S BEEN A BIG 75 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,341 WEEK FOR LAWMAKERS LAST NIGHT WAS THE ANNUAL CONGRESSIONAL BASEBALL GAME 76 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:47,147 WITH DEMOCRATS FACING OFF AGAINST REPUBLICANS AT NATIONALS PARK 77 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,183 IT WAS JUST BASEBALL, NO POLITICS, UNTIL THE REPUBLICAN CATCHER WENT NUTS ABOUT HAVING 78 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:56,990 TO WEAR A MASK [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S BASEBALL. 79 00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,460 THIS IS FUN, PRESIDENT BIDEN STOPPED BY FOR THE GAME. ALL THOUGH, IT WAS A LITTLE 80 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:05,398 CREEPY WHEN HE LEFT, LIKE, DISAPPEARING INTO A CORN FIELD [ LAUGHTER ] 81 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,034 "IF YOU BUILD BACK BETTER? HE WILL GO." AND GET THIS, AS IF WE'RE NOT 82 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,769 DEALING WITH ENOUGH HERE, I READ THAT THE PRICE OF BACON HAS SKY-ROCKETED TO A 40-YEAR 83 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:17,744 HIGH [ AUDIENCE AWS ] NOW WHEN YOU ORDER A BACON KING 84 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,512 AT THE BURGER KING DRIVE-THRU, THEY'RE LIKE, "PLEASE PULL YOUR MASERATI UP TO THE SECOND 85 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:27,153 WINDOW." [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, LET'S GET TO THE BIG 86 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:29,756 NEWS TODAY, I READ THAT McDONALD'S IS OFFICIALLY BRINGING BACK THE 87 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:33,893 McRIB NATIONWIDE, FOLKS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHEN ASKED HOW THEY'RE BRINGING 88 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,695 BACK THE McRIB DURING A PORK SHORTAGE, McDONALD'S SAID, "THOSE TWO THINGS AREN'T AS 89 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:41,067 RELATED AS YOU THINK." [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, I HEARD ABOUT AN 90 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,736 ARTIST IN DENMARK WHO IS COMMISSIONED BY A MUSEUM FOR SOME PAINTINGS, BUT HE DECIDED 91 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:50,076 TO GO A DIFFERENT ROUTE WITH THE PROJECT. WATCH THIS 92 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:50,076 THE PROJECT. WATCH THIS 93 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,512 A MUSEUM IN DENMARK HAS CAUSED A STIR BETWEEN MANAGEMENT AND 94 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,081 THE ARTIST AND IT LOOKS LIKE A BLANK CANVAS 95 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:59,519 THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS THE MUSEUM LENT HIM $84,000 TO FILL BOTH EMPTY FRAMES 96 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:05,191 INSTEAD, THE ARTIST SENT EMPTY FRAMES AND CALLED THE WORK, "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN. 97 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:09,596 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: YUP, THE ARTIST IS 98 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:17,437 ACTUALLY BANKSY'S LAZY COUSIN, BLANSKY. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 99 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,371 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS EVERYBODY. 100 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:37,424 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 101 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,392 >> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE NEW SHOWTIME 102 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,562 SERIES, "AMERICAN RUST" WHICH IS GREAT, BY THE WAY BASED ON THE BOOK AND HE'S 103 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:48,134 RETURNING TO BROADWAY IN "TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD" AT THE SHUBERT THEATRE. 104 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:53,840 ALL WAYS A GREAT ACTOR, JEFF DANIELS IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 105 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:59,179 AND HE'S A GOOD GUY. I LOVE JEFF DANIELS. >> Steve: LOVE JEFF DANIELS. 106 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,247 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HER ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH 107 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:02,882 RETURNS FOR A NEW SEASON THIS SATURDAY WITH HOST, OWEN WILSON, AND MUSIC GUEST, 108 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:09,789 KACEY MUSGRAVES. CHLOE FINEMAN IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 109 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,092 >> Steve: CHLOE. >> Jimmy: TALENTED >> Steve: OH, SHE'S THE BEST 110 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,595 >> Jimmy: SHE'S GOT IT AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM "THE FLAMING LIPS. 111 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:22,469 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH I LOVE THEM. 112 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,270 BIG SHOW YOU KNOW WHAT? IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE'S 113 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,306 TALKING ABOUT TOM BRADY, RIGHT NOW. I MEAN, THIS SUNDAY HE'S 114 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:32,078 PLAYING AGAINST THE PATRIOTS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE HE LEFT THE TEAM. 115 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:35,582 SO IT'S A HUGE DEAL. BUT GET THIS, HE ALSO ANNOUNCED THAT HE'S LAUNCHING HIS OWN 116 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,551 FASHION LINE FOR MEN CALLED, "BRADY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 117 00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:41,588 YEAH, IT TURNS OUT THAT WASN'T HIST FIRST NAME THAT HE CONSIDERED 118 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,690 >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW >> Steve: HE CONSIDERED 119 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,959 DIFFERENT NAMES BESIDES THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE ALSO TRIED -- 120 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:51,865 >> Tariq: OKAY, HERE WE GO >> Jimmy: TARIQ, WHAT'S UP, MAN? 121 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,667 >> Tariq: LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE GOING TO POKE FUN AT TOM BRADY BY SAYING A BUNCH OF FAKE 122 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:58,538 FASHION LINES. >> Jimmy: I MEAN, YEAH THAT WAS THE PLAN. 123 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,440 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: AND THEN EACH ONE WILL HAVE A POP UP AS 124 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,910 A GRAPHIC, SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT AND LAUGH ABOUT IT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 125 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:10,884 >> Jimmy: RIGHT. YEAH, WE OFTEN TAKE THE NEWS AND INSERT COMEDY. 126 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:17,023 >> Tariq: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS WILL GO DOWN. SO ON SCREEN, THERE WILL BE 127 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,892 A PICTURE OF TOM BRADY AND IT WILL SAY, YOU KNOW, "BRADY'S FASHION LINES," RIGHT? 128 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,162 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN, UNDER THAT, LIKE, YOU WILL LIST FAKE NAMES, LIKE, 129 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,664 "REALLY OLD NAVY." [ LAUGHTER ] OR "FOREVER 41." 130 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,866 [ LAUGHTER ] OR SOMETHING LIKE, "TOMMY, OVER THE HILL," FIGURE. 131 00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:29,035 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: AND THEN, YOU WILL 132 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:33,840 TRY SOME OTHER JOKES LIKE, "TJ SACKS" OR "THE ABERCROMBIE AND RICH." 133 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,344 [ LAUGHTER ] OR -- OH, OH, "THE BURLINGTON GOAT FACTORY." 134 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:42,282 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S A FUN BIT, YOU SHOULD DO IT 135 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,684 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE'LL DO IT TOMORROW [ LAUGHTER ] 136 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,620 STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE FIRST ANNUAL "TONIGHT SHOW, PIZZA OFF," - 137 00:09:47,620 --> 00:10:14,981 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WOW. 138 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,850 WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. TARIQ AND I ARE ABOUT TO DO 139 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,352 SOMETHING FUN, TIME FOR THE FIRST ANNUAL "TONIGHT SHOW" PIZZA-OFF. 140 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:26,159 HERE WE GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE RULES ARE SIMPLE 141 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:28,028 THE RULES WERE MAKE ANY PIZZA YOU WANT, AND WHOEVER MAKES THE MOST DELICIOUS PIZZA POSSIBLE 142 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,896 IS THE WINNER AND GETS THEIR NAME ENGRAVED IN THE "TONIGHT SHOW" PIZZA-OFF GOLDEN PIZZA 143 00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:39,272 SLICE. LOOK AT THIS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 144 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:43,510 OUR JUDGES HAVE SOUNDPROOF HEADPHONES, RIGHT? NOT WATCHING 145 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,478 SO TARIQ AND I, EARLIER, WE MADE OUR PIZZAS AND WE RECORDED THE WHOLE THING. 146 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:51,051 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TARIQ IS GOING TO MAKE. HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING 147 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,452 TO MAKE. CHECK IT OUT 148 00:10:54,421 --> 00:11:00,794 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HEY GUYS, IT'S JIMMY, YOU MAY RECOGNIZE ME AS THE 149 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:06,933 "TONIGHT SHOW" BURGER-OFF CHAMPION * 150 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,069 >> YOU GOT IT! >> Jimmy: NUMBER ONE, THE NUMBER ONE BURGER. 151 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:12,372 I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU YEAH I GUESS I WON, NO BIG 152 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:15,208 DEAL I DON'T WANT TO GLOAT OR BRAG THAT I WON 153 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,244 >> Tariq: HEY, WHAT'S UP TARIQ TROTTER HERE I BEEN HEARING ABOUT HOW JIMMY 154 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,347 IS RUNNING AROUND NEW YORK CITY HE'S GOT HIS TROPHY ON HIS 155 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:24,751 NECKLACE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HE'S BRAGGING AND BOASTING >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, NOW I'VE 156 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,121 WON, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A LEGACY TO PROTECT. >> Tariq: I'M HERE TO SHUT THAT 157 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:36,229 DOWN TODAY I'M GONNA BE MAKING MY PIZZA MY PIE N' LOTUS PIZZA. 158 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,931 TURKEY, PEPPERONI, FRESH MOZZARELLA SAUCE AND I'M GONNA FINISH IT OFF WITH SOME HOT 159 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:46,172 HONEY. [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: I'M A TREND-SNIFFER. 160 00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:48,641 AND I SNIFF OUT TRENDS I FEEL LIKE THERE'S BIG TREND IS CARB ON CARB HAPPENING RIGHT 161 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,511 NOW. SO I WENT WITH SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS ON A PIZZA 162 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:59,152 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FIRST OF ALL, YOU START WITH 163 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:03,757 THE DOUGH. YOU CAN EITHER MAKE IT YOURSELF OR I GO TO MY LOCAL PIZZERIA 164 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,826 AND JUST BUY DOUGH FROM THEM AND JUST STRETCH IT AROUND >> Tariq: I'M TERRIBLE WITH, 165 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:10,196 LIKE STRETCHING OUT PIZZA DOUGH. IT'S NEVER BEEN MY JAM 166 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:15,468 IT'S GOT A HOLE IN IT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, WE GOT ANOTHER DOUGH 167 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:19,839 >> Jimmy: A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THE TRICK TO MAKING A GOOD PIZZA DOUGH IS HEIGHT. 168 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:23,343 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE HOLES. NO ONE CAN SEE THE HOLES NEW "HALLOWEEN" MOVIE IS IN 169 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:28,448 THEATERS OCTOBER 31st, CHECK IT OUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 170 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,417 >> Tariq: I DID BORROW A LITTLE BIT FROM MY DAYS WORKING IN PIZZARIA UNO, IN THAT I PUT THE 171 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:35,455 PEPPERONI ON BEFORE I PUT THE CHEESE >> Jimmy: I GET MY SAUCE FROM 172 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:39,192 A CAN CALLED BIANCO. AND WHAT YOU DO IS USE YOUR HANDS TO JUST SQUEEZE THE 173 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:47,600 TOMATOES AND MAKE THE SAUCE, JUST GET ANY LIKE, KIND OF AGGRESSION OUT 174 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:52,939 * >> Tariq: GOT TO DO THAT BEFORE YOU PUT IT IN THE OFTEN. 175 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:56,876 THIS A ROCK A BUY TECHNIQUE. ROCK A BUY PIZZA, BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO SLEEP 176 00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,313 GOING NIGHT-NIGHT. READY TO GO NIGHT-NIGHT? >> Jimmy: INTO THE PIZZA OVEN 177 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:04,217 IT GOES. THEN YOU KIND OF WANT TO GO LIKE - 178 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:09,356 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: IT'S NOT WORKING 179 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:17,330 THE PIZZA'S NOT COMING OFF THE FIELD. >> Jimmy: THAT ONE ALMOST FELL 180 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,933 WHAT IT WOULD MEAN TO HAVE MY NAME ENGRAVED IN THE PIZZA TROPHY 181 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:27,173 I'D BE ON CLOUD NINE, OR AS THEY SAY IN ITALY CLOUD NINO NINO 182 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:32,512 NINTO? >> Tariq: TO HAVE MY NAME ENGRAVED ON THE "TONIGHT SHOW" 183 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,482 GOLDEN PIZZA SLICER, IT WOULDN'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL WHO CARES? 184 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:41,087 ALL RIGHT. SO I'M READY TO TAKE IT OUT. IT'S NOT BAD 185 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,822 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, NOW WE WANT TO GET OUR PASTA, YOU CAN TAKE A COUPLE OF MEAT BALLS, 186 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,124 AND MAKE THEM INTO SMALLER BITS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TARIQ HAS ON 187 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:49,129 HIS PIZZA, BUT I KNOW WHAT HE DOESN'T HAVE, MEAT BITS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 188 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:58,638 * >> Tariq: SECRET WEAPON, I'M A A HIT IT WITH SPICY HONEY. 189 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:02,142 GIVE IT A LITTLE KICK. >> Jimmy: BANANA PEPPERS NOW THIS IS WHEN I WIN 190 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,044 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. BOOM >> Tariq: NOW I FEEL LIKE I 191 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:07,714 USED TO HAVE BEEF WITH JIMMY BUT NOW, YOU KNOW, IT'S EVOLVED INTO PEPPERONI 192 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,684 THERE WE GO. DONE IT'S LEVELS. 193 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,286 >> Jimmy: YOU NEED GOOD INGREDIENTS. YES, YOU NEED A GOOD PIZZA 194 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,722 OVEN, BUT YOU ALSO YOU NEED RESPECT. AND THIS PIZZA WAS MADE WITH 195 00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:19,426 RESPECT. >> Tariq: I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRASH TALK YOU JIMMY, I WILL 196 00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:24,564 LET THE TASTE DO THE TALKING >> Jimmy: I THINK I WON AGAIN WITH THE SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL 197 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:34,507 PIZZA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW. 198 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,344 >> Tariq: WOW. >> Jimmy: WOW. INTERESTING. 199 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,212 ALL RIGHT, TO DECIDE THE WINING PIZZA WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST SERVING AS OUR MASTER PIZZA 200 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:44,284 JUDGE, HE'S FOUNDER OF SCOTT'S PIZZA TOURS. RUNS A PIZZA THEME NON-PROFIT 201 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,721 SLICE OUT HUNGER AND HOLDS THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR LARGEST COLLECTION OF PIZZA 202 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:52,726 BOXES. PLEASE WELCOME SCOTT WIENER. 203 00:14:54,894 --> 00:15:01,034 * >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW, THANK YOU, SCOTT 204 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,903 I WASN'T DOING THAT -- >> Tariq: WHATEV >> Jimmy: I WASN'T DOING 205 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,638 THAT - >> Tariq: OKAY, OKAY >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T DO THIS 206 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,841 AFTER I SAW SCOTT. JUST QUICK LITTLE FIST BUMP THAT'S ALL 207 00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,243 >> Tariq: YEP. >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR BEING HERE 208 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:14,180 I APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO THE SHOW I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS, YOUR WORK. 209 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:18,051 AND I ALSO LOVE YOUR BOOK. YOU HAVE THE WORLD'S LARGEST COLLECTION OF PIZZA BOXES. 210 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:21,187 >> I DO, IT'S TRUE >> Jimmy: WHEN DID IT START? RECENTLY OR NO 211 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,056 >> NO, MAN LIKE 12 YEARS AGO I STARTED COLLECTING PIZZA BOXES AND 212 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:27,093 NOTICED THAT THEY'RE NOT ALL THE SAME AND YOU KNOW, THEY'RE PIECES OF 213 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,329 ART, YOU KNOW. WHEN THEY HAVE A PIZZA IN THEM, PIZZA BOX, WHEN FLIPPED 214 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:34,501 VERTICAL, ART. >> Tariq: ART. I AGREE, SCOTT 215 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:37,137 THAT'S AWESOME >> THANK YOU [ LAUGHTER ] 216 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:42,709 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOW TIME TO TRY PIZZA NUMBER ONE NUMERO UNO 217 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:47,080 >> ALL RIGHT, LETS SEE WHAT'S GOING ON OH, INTERESTING. 218 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:52,085 THERE'S SPAGHETTI ON THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S NOT A MISTAKE 219 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:54,721 THIS IS ACTUALLY - >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION 220 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:59,859 >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I LOVE PEPPERONCINI. SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS. 221 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:03,029 THIS ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE SERIOUS DOUGH. GREAT FERMENTATION FROM THE 222 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:07,300 EDGE SOME NICE OPEN CRUMB STRUCTURE, WHICH I ALWAYS LOOK FOR. 223 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,571 ON THE BOTTOM I SEE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD BAKE, YOU KNOW THINGS I'M LOOKING FOR 224 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:22,282 * [ LAUGHTER ] THAT WAS - 225 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,784 SALT >> Jimmy: IT'S GOT SOME SALT THERE. 226 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,053 >> SOMEONE GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY WITH THE SALT >> Jimmy: YEP, TOO MUCH. 227 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:32,058 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. WELL, I GOT TO SAY, DECENT PIE 228 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:35,929 >> Jimmy: DECENT PIE >> Tariq: DECENT PIE >> Jimmy: YEAH 229 00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:38,898 >> Tariq: THAT PIE WAS DECENT. >> Jimmy: YUP, I AGREE WITH HIM. 230 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:42,302 >> NUMBER TWO. >> Jimmy: YUP, NUMBER TWO IS RIGHT. 231 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:47,107 >> OKAY. HERE'S WHAT I'M SEEING ON BOTH OF THESE, POST-OVEN BASIL. 232 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:51,478 I APPRECIATE THAT. YEAH OH, THERE'S HONEY ON THIS. 233 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,580 THERE'S HONEY. SUPER COMMON RIGHT NOW, HOT HONEY WITH A PORK PRODUCT ON 234 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:58,451 TOP. I'M LOVIN' THIS. >> Jimmy: PRETTY COMMON. 235 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,787 YEAH >> BOOM. A LITTLE DERIVATIVE, BUT YOU 236 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:07,193 KNOW THESE ARE BOTH LEGIT PIZZAS. SO - 237 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:12,332 [ LAUGHTER ] I HONESTLY, NO OFFENSE, GUYS, I EXPECTED A DISASTER FROM AT 238 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:19,873 LEAST ONE OF THESE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU TAKE OFFENSE 239 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,609 THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. >> Tariq: YEAH YES, I CONCUR. 240 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,745 >> Jimmy: THIS IS GREAT. NOW SCOTT, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH PLEASE WRITE DOWN YOUR CHOICE 241 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:30,283 FOR THE WINNING PIZZA AND PUT INTO THE OFFICIAL TONIGHT SHOW PIZZA-OFF BALLOT BOX 242 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:36,956 WILL IT BE PIZZA NUMBER ONE OR PIZZA NUMBER TWO YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE. 243 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,226 >> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: AND TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE VOTE IS COMPLETE AND 244 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:44,698 SECURE, SCOTT PLEASE LOCK IT IN THE BALLOT BOX JUST PUT IT IN THERE, YES. 245 00:17:44,698 --> 00:17:50,503 AND THEN, NOW PLEASE FASTEN THE STRAIT JACKET AROUND THE BOX [ LAUGHTER ] 246 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,505 >> Tariq: YOU'RE GONNA DROP IT INTO A POOL OF WATER TOO >> Jimmy: FINALLY, THE 247 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,641 SHARK-PROOF CAGE WE DO ACTUALLY HAVE A SHARK-PROOF CAGE JUST TO MAKE 248 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:59,579 SURE [ APPLAUSE ] WE KNOW THEY'RE BOTH IN THERE. 249 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:07,120 CAN'T BE TAMPERED WITH NOW THAT THE VOTE IS SECURELY LOCKED IN, WE CAN REVEAL TO 250 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:10,256 SCOTT WHO MADE WHAT. DO YOU WANT TO GO FIRST? >> Tariq: I MADE THE PIZZA THAT 251 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,026 YOU ASSUMED WAS, YOU KNOW, THE DERIVATIVE PORK PRODUCT BY BUT I MADE IT WITH TURKEY 252 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:17,397 PEPPERONI, WHICH I HAVE NEVER SEEN IN ANY PIZZA PLACE ON EARTH. 253 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:24,804 SO - >> Jimmy: MAYBE A REASON I WENT WITH THE -- I THINK THE 254 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:28,808 HONEY TREND HAS COME AND GONE. [ LAUGHTER ] I BELIEVE THAT CARB ON CARB IS 255 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:32,145 THE FUTURE AND I WENT WITH DOUBLE CARB, PEOPLE ARE RUNNING MARATHONS, 256 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,314 PEOPLE OUT THERE, THEY NEED SOME STUFF I'M HERE TO HELP YOU 257 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:38,151 >> Tariq: INTERESTING. >> Jimmy: SO SCOTT, NOW CAN YOU NOW REMOVE SHARK PROOF CAGE AND 258 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,619 THE STRAIT JACKET FROM THE BALLOT BOX IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF 259 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:43,723 YOU NEED -- YOU CAN PROBABLY JUST OPEN THE TOP. I DON'T THINK IT'S LOCKED. 260 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:49,095 YOU CAN JUST OPEN IT >> IT'S NOT REALLY THAT SECURE, HUH. 261 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:52,265 >> Jimmy: NO, NOT REALLY >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. OKAY 262 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:57,170 LET'S SEE. >> Jimmy: OOH, GOSH. OH MY GOODNESS 263 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,806 I JUST WANT TO TELL THEM - [ BABBLING ] * 264 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:08,648 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: WE BACK, BABY! WE BACK, BABY! 265 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:15,321 WHOO-WHOOOO! >> Jimmy: PUT IT BACK! HONEY, IF YOU'RE WATCHING, PUT 266 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,023 THE KIDS TO BED. THEY DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS. THE KIDS DON'T NEED TO SEE 267 00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,925 THIS CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CHAMPION, TARIQ TROTTER! 268 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:23,630 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * AND AGAIN THANK YOU TO 269 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:28,668 SCOTT WIENER, OUR PIZZA EXPERT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, BUD. 270 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,804 I APPRECIATE IT. >> THANK YOU, MAN. >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 271 00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:34,874 WITH JEFF DANIELS, EVERYBODY COME ON BACK I PUT TOO MUCH SALT ON IT? 272 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:53,793 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS 273 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:58,631 A TWO-TIME EMMY WINNER AND A A THREE-TIME TONY NOMINEE STARRING IN NEW SERIES, 274 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:04,204 "AMERICAN RUST," WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT 10:00 P.M. ON SHOWTIME 275 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:09,109 HE'S ALSO RETURNED TO BROADWAY IN "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD," WHICH -- I KNOW, HE'S AMAZING. 276 00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:13,279 IT OPENS OCTOBER 5th AT THE SHUBERT THEATRE. PLEASE WELCOME JEFF DANIELS 277 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,081 PLEASE WELCOME JEFF DANIELS EVERYBODY, COME ON 278 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:29,562 * 279 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:36,870 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHY YOU DO IT THAT'S JEFF DANIELS. SEE, THIS IS WHY YOU DO IT, 280 00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:42,108 RIGHT? >> IT'S WHY YOU DO IT, IT'S WHY I'M BACK IN "MOCKINGBIRD." 281 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:47,380 I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S -- >> Jimmy: THE AUDIENCE >> IT'S THE LIVE AUDIENCE, THAT 282 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:51,418 ELECTRICITY YOU FEEL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: RIGHT? 283 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:56,322 IT GIVES YOU THE ENERGY. JEFF, I CONSIDER YOU ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS IN THE BUSINESS. 284 00:20:56,322 --> 00:21:00,060 >> BIG STATEMENT >> Jimmy: WELL, I DO I DO, AND -- 285 00:21:00,060 --> 00:21:04,631 >> WELL, THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I WAS TRYING OUT SOME CHARACTERS IN MONOLOGUE AND I 286 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:10,203 THINK -- I DON'T KNOW, I JUST WANT, MAYBE, YOUR NOTES. >> THE BASEBALL BAT THING? 287 00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:15,141 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH YOU SAW IT >> I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD 288 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:22,349 >> Jimmy: YOU DID, RIGHT DID YOU BELIEVE THAT I WAS A A BOOKIE 289 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:27,153 >> IT HAD -- WELL, IT HAD -- IF JERRY LEWIS WAS A BOOKIE [ LAUGHTER ] 290 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:29,556 IT HAD THAT KIND OF -- WENT INTO THAT "BASEBALL BAT." >> Jimmy: "BASEBALL BAT. 291 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:32,092 BUT THAT KEEPS YOU GUESSING. YOU GO, "HEY, IS THIS GUY GOING TO BREAK MY LEGS?" 292 00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:33,727 >> EXACTLY >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T KNOW, IT KEEPS YOU -- 293 00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:35,895 THANK YOU, YEAH. I DIDN'T GET THE PART, BUT -- YOU KNOW 294 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,864 [ LAUGHTER ] AGAIN, I CAN DO LOTS OF DIFFERENT THINGS 295 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,933 IF THERE'S, LIKE, AN EXTRA IN "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I'M DOWN 296 00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,568 THE STREET >> SURE. [ LAUGHTER ] 297 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:43,670 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, YOU NEED SOMEONE TO COME ON, JUST GIVE ME A LINE. 298 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,972 >> GIVE YOU A LINE >> Jimmy: SURE GIVE ME A LINE, I'LL DO IT 299 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,241 >> UH, UH, UH -- >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE ATTICUS, RIGHT? 300 00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:53,113 >> YEAH, I'M ATTICUS >> Jimmy: OR MR. FINCH >> WHAT DO YOU WANT MR. EWELL? 301 00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:55,582 >> Jimmy: OH, I'M MR. EWELL. >> YOU'RE BOB EWELL, YOU'RE THE BAD GUY. 302 00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:57,650 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: MR. EWELL IS MY DAD. CALL ME BOB. 303 00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:09,696 [ LAUGHTER ] HOW ABOUT THAT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 304 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,766 IMPROVISING. "WHAT DO YOU WANT MR. EWELL? AND THEN MR. EWELL TURNS AND 305 00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:17,137 GOES, "MR. EWELL'S MY FATHER CALL ME BOB. [ LAUGHTER ] 306 00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:21,074 RIGHT? >> SURE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, DON'T -- 307 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:24,878 THINK ABOUT IT I'M DOWN THE STREET. I'LL GIVE YOU MY CELL AGAIN. 308 00:22:24,878 --> 00:22:27,747 >> THE PART IS CAST, UNFORTUNATELY. >> Jimmy: THE PART IS CAST 309 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:30,350 I SAW THAT YOU AND YOUR WIFE -- YOU WERE RECENTLY YOU WERE IN THE PRESS BECAUSE SHE THREW OUT 310 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,652 THE FIRST PITCH. IT WAS INTERESTING BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO 311 00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:35,588 THROW OUT THE FIRST PITCH AT A A PITTSBURGH PIRATES GAME? >> WE WERE SHOOTING "AMERICAN 312 00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:38,091 RUST" IN PITTSBURGH, YES >> Jimmy: DID SHE KNOW AT ALL? >> WE CALLED THE PIRATES, AND, 313 00:22:38,091 --> 00:22:40,627 YOU KNOW, BEING ONE OF THE FEW CELEBRITIES IN PITTSBURGH AT THE MOMENT, THEY SAID YES. 314 00:22:40,627 --> 00:22:43,363 AND THEY SAID, "WE'LL PUT YOU IN THE SUITE WITH THE OWNER," AND I SAID, "WELL, IT'S MY 315 00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:45,432 WIFE'S BIRTHDAY. COULD YOU JUST GET HER A CAKE IN THE SUITE 316 00:22:45,432 --> 00:22:47,734 MAYBE THE MASCOT COULD SHOW UP." AND BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 317 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:52,439 42 YEARS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I HAVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS. 318 00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:54,674 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE OUT OF IDEAS. >> THERE IS NOTHING. SHE'S GOING "HOW ABOUT A 319 00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,576 A LITTLE --" I SAID, "NO, NO, I'M DONE. I CAN'T. 320 00:22:56,576 --> 00:23:01,181 AND THEN I SAID A CAKE, MAYBE THE MASCOT I MIGHT GET AWAY WITH THE 321 00:23:01,181 --> 00:23:05,051 BIRTHDAY THAT WAY. WE'RE WALKING INTO THE PIRATES THING, AND THE PIRATES PR 322 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:13,193 PEOPLE ARE THERE, AND THEY SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR WIFE TO THROW OUT THE FIRST PITCH?" 323 00:23:13,193 --> 00:23:21,067 AND I SAID, "YES, AND DON'T TELL HER." [ LAUGHTER ] 324 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:24,237 SO WE GET THERE AND WE GET TO THE DUGOUT AND WE GO, "OKAY, JEFF, IT'S TIME. 325 00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:28,742 AND I GO, "ALL RIGHT, KATHLEEN, COME ON. SHE GOES, "WHAT? 326 00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:30,710 I'M LIKE, "COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. AND SHE IS FROM THE UPPER 327 00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,979 PENINSULA OF MICHIGAN, SO SHE CAN DIG IN AND GO, "I AIN'T MOVING 328 00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:35,949 I AIN'T MOVING NO, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. SO I'M DRAGGING HER, AND SHE 329 00:23:35,949 --> 00:23:38,451 STARTS TO GO - NOW WE'RE OUT TO THE MOUND AND I HAVE THE BALL, AND SHE GOES, 330 00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:40,520 "WHAT AM I DOING OUT HERE? I SAID, "HERE, YOU'RE GOING TO THROW THE FIRST PITCH. 331 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,389 >> Jimmy: IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. >> AND THEN I -- YEAH. 332 00:23:42,389 --> 00:23:44,791 AND WE'VE GOT, YOU KNOW, FANS IN THE STADIUM, MAYBE 15,000, I DON'T KNOW 333 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:47,193 AND SO I'M BACKING UP. AND SHE'S GOING, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS. 334 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:50,096 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" >> Jimmy: 42 YEARS, THAT'S RIGHT. 335 00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,332 >> AND I'M TO THE HOME PLATE, AND NOW I'M GOING, "OH, MY GOD, I'VE GOT TO CATCH IT, BECAUSE 336 00:23:52,332 --> 00:23:56,102 IF SHE THROWS IT AND ACTOR BOY DOESN'T CATCH IT, THEN IT'S VIRAL. 337 00:23:56,102 --> 00:24:01,508 SO NOW I'M JUST -- SO, I'M LIKE THOSE GUYS AT THE TARMAC WHEN THE PLANE'S COMING IN WITH THE 338 00:24:01,508 --> 00:24:07,313 ORANGE, I'M GOING, "ANYWHERE IN HERE." >> Jimmy: ANYWHERE, YEAH 339 00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:14,087 OF COURSE. >> "I LOVE YOU HONEY I'M SORRY I DID THIS." 340 00:24:14,087 --> 00:24:17,824 >> Jimmy: I'M BEGGING YOU. >> AND SHE DOES ONE OF THESE, AND THEN SHE THREW IT. 341 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:30,203 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE THE VIDEO. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE VIDEO HERE WE GO 342 00:24:30,203 --> 00:24:30,236 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE VIDEO HERE WE GO 343 00:24:30,737 --> 00:24:32,072 >> Jimmy: YEAH COME ON! 344 00:24:32,072 --> 00:24:36,076 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT IS LOVE [ LAUGHTER ] 345 00:24:36,076 --> 00:24:39,245 THAT'S LOVE RIGHT THERE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "AMERICAN RUST." 346 00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:45,352 IT'S ON SHOWTIME IT'S FANTASTIC I'VE SEEN TWO EPISODES, I 347 00:24:45,352 --> 00:24:49,089 BELIEVE. >> SO I JUST LOVE STORIES ABOUT SMALL TOWN PEOPLE BUT TOLD NOT 348 00:24:49,089 --> 00:24:51,091 IN A WAY THAT HOLLYWOOD DOES WHERE THEY COME IN AND POLISH IT UP AND, YOU KNOW, HOLLYWOOD 349 00:24:51,091 --> 00:24:56,930 PEOPLE COME -- YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, I WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN THE 350 00:24:56,930 --> 00:25:00,100 TOWN SO IT'S REAL AUTHENTIC. 351 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,736 AND THE WRITING ON IT IS SO STRONG THESE ARE GOOD PEOPLE. 352 00:25:02,736 --> 00:25:04,604 DECENT PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE, AND THEY'RE MAKING SOME BAD CHOICES. 353 00:25:04,604 --> 00:25:07,440 THERE'S A MURDER INVOLVED, AND -- BUT IT'S MORE ABOUT THE PEOPLE 354 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:13,346 AROUND IT. AND IT'S JUST -- I GOT SOME REALLY GOOD PEOPLE IN IT 355 00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:18,718 AND I'M REAL PROUD OF IT THE FIRST THREE EPISODES THAT HAVE BEEN UP ARE JUST, LIKE, 356 00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:20,787 THE SET UP WHAT HAPPENS LATER, IS JUST -- YOU CAN'T EVEN -- YOU DON'T 357 00:25:20,787 --> 00:25:25,592 EVEN - >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY >> YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S 358 00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:27,894 GONNA HAPPEN - >> Jimmy: I THINK I DO >> WHEW. 359 00:25:27,894 --> 00:25:31,064 >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY >> YEAH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE SO I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT 360 00:25:31,064 --> 00:25:34,434 >> Jimmy: OH, WOW. I'M EVEN MORE EXCITED NOW, BECAUSE I'M INVESTED 361 00:25:34,434 --> 00:25:36,836 I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S JEFF DANIELS IN "AMERICAN RUST." 362 00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:38,071 "AMERICAN RUST." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 363 00:25:39,072 --> 00:25:39,706 YOU RELEASE NOVICK FROM HIS 364 00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:47,213 DUTIES >> ABOUT SIX MONTHS. HEY, I TOOK HIM TO N.A 365 00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:51,151 I HELPED WORK HIS PROGRAM. HE WAS CLEAN FOR A GOOD LONG WHILE. 366 00:25:51,151 --> 00:25:54,554 WHY AM I EVEN DEFENDING MYSELF >> BECAUSE YOU ALLOWED AN OFFICER USING ILLEGAL 367 00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:59,125 SUBSTANCES TO REMAIN ON YOUR FORCE DURING A DRUG EPIDEMIC >> YOU WANT TO INDICT ME, YOU 368 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:07,667 KNOW WHERE I WORK. TUCKER, ARE WE DONE HERE >> I BELIEVE SO, YES 369 00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:09,436 >> THEN SHERIFF, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO RETURN MY FORMER OFFICER'S PERSONAL 370 00:26:09,436 --> 00:26:12,138 EFFECTS TO HIS WIDOW YOU OKAY WITH HOW I'M SPENDING MY MORNING 371 00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:19,913 >> I AM CHIEF. >> THANK YOU YOU ALL HAVE A PLEASANT DAY. 372 00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:22,315 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 373 00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:25,719 JEFF DANIELS, EVERYBODY. "AMERICAN RUST" AIRS SUNDAYS AT 10:00 P.M. ON SHOWTIME 374 00:26:25,719 --> 00:26:31,591 AND "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD" OPENS OCTOBER 5th. CHLOE FINEMAN JOINS US AFTER 375 00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:34,060 THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK 376 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:55,882 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A 377 00:26:55,882 --> 00:26:58,184 A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO YOU KNOW FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WHICH RETURNS FOR A NEW 378 00:26:58,184 --> 00:27:02,889 SEASON THIS SATURDAY WITH HOST OWEN WILSON AND MUSICAL GUEST KACEY MUSGRAVES. 379 00:27:02,889 --> 00:27:09,496 EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME CHLOE FINEMAN! 380 00:27:11,031 --> 00:27:31,184 * * >> Jimmy: OH, CHLOE FINEMAN! 381 00:27:31,184 --> 00:27:33,086 IT IS SO GREAT TO SEE YOU >> AH, GOOD TO SEE YOU. >> Jimmy: I FEEL EVERY TIME I 382 00:27:33,086 --> 00:27:35,055 SEE YOU YOU'RE IN A GLAMOUROUS, GORGEOUS OUTFIT. >> YES, WE WERE AT THE MET 383 00:27:35,055 --> 00:27:38,525 GALA >> Jimmy: WE WERE AT THE MET GALA TOGETHER. 384 00:27:38,525 --> 00:27:42,896 AND WE WITNESSED PETE DAVIDSON GOING TO THE BATHROOM AT THE WORSE TIME 385 00:27:42,896 --> 00:27:48,068 >> YES RIGHT AS A GIGANTIC MARCHING BAND WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE. 386 00:27:48,068 --> 00:27:52,605 AND HE WAS WARNED THAT THE BAND WAS SOON TO PERFORM. >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE WARNED HIM. 387 00:27:52,605 --> 00:27:55,442 PETE WAS WITH US AT THE TABLE AT THIS BEAUTIFUL GALA HE GOES -- 388 00:27:55,442 --> 00:27:57,744 THEY WERE LIKE, "THE ENTERTAINMENT'S STARTING IN THREE MINTUES -- 389 00:27:57,744 --> 00:28:00,146 NO, NEXT SO EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS. 390 00:28:00,146 --> 00:28:02,115 THE ENTERTAINMENT IS BEGINNING. >> YEAH. 391 00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:04,417 >> Jimmy: AND HE GOES, "I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I GOT TO GO PEE. 392 00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:06,052 AND I GO, "OH NO IT'S A BAD A IDEA DON'T. 393 00:28:06,052 --> 00:28:08,588 JUST WAIT FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT. AFTER THAT HE GOES, "YEAH, I 394 00:28:08,588 --> 00:28:12,192 GOT TO GO. AND "THE ENTERTAINMENT IS STARTING." 395 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:14,694 AND HE GOES, "NAH, I'M JUST GOING TO GO QUICK. I GO, "OKAY, MAN." 396 00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:17,530 >> RIGHT IT'S ALSO THE MET. SO YOU CAN'T PEE QUICKLY CASUE 397 00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:21,134 YOU'RE IN A LARGE MUSEUM >> Jimmy: A MUSEUM, YEAH >> IT TAKE YOU TEN -- IT'S LIKE 398 00:28:21,134 --> 00:28:24,604 TEN MILES TO EVERY BATHROOM. >> Jimmy: YEAH SO HE LEAVES AND WE IMMEDIATELY 399 00:28:24,604 --> 00:28:28,675 GO THIS IS A BAD IDEA. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU HEAR LIKE - 400 00:28:28,675 --> 00:28:32,245 * THE MARCHING BAND COMES IN 8'9" PETE DAVIDSON IS LIKE IN 401 00:28:32,245 --> 00:28:37,317 THE MIDDLE OF A MARCHING BAND, LIKE MARCHING BACK IN. [ LAUGHTER ] 402 00:28:37,317 --> 00:28:40,053 YOU'RE LIKE, "THAT IS SO -- THAT IS SO PETE DAVIDSON RIGHT THERE. 403 00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:44,858 OH MY GOSH >> DRUGGED IN A KILT, YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: HOW'S EVERYTHING AT 404 00:28:44,858 --> 00:28:47,494 SNL? ARE YOU EXCITED? >> YEAH IT'S AMAZING 405 00:28:47,494 --> 00:28:52,632 WE'RE BACK AND YOU KNOW, IT'S OBVIOUSLY PANDEMY. 406 00:28:52,632 --> 00:28:56,236 >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. >> BUT LIGHT >> Jimmy: YEAH, OKAY GOOD. 407 00:28:56,236 --> 00:28:58,738 AND YOU HAVE - OWEN'S READY TO GO >> AND OWEN'S READY TO GO. 408 00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:00,507 >> Jimmy: COME ON, IT'S OWEN WILSON. IT'S OWEN WILSON 409 00:29:00,507 --> 00:29:02,242 >> Jimmy: IT'S GOING TO BE FANTASTIC. >> LOVELY GUY. 410 00:29:02,242 --> 00:29:04,544 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU DO AMAZING 411 00:29:04,544 --> 00:29:07,914 IMPRESSIONS ON THIS SHOW I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE, YOU'RE FANTASTIC 412 00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:12,619 HAVE PEOPLE REACHED OUT TO YOU AND SAY, "HEY, I LIKE THAT OR HEY, STOP DOING THAT? 413 00:29:12,619 --> 00:29:16,122 >> OH, CONSTANTLY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> CONSTANTLY. 414 00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:18,191 THERE'S NEVER BEEN A STOP DOING -- AT THE MET GALA IN THE BATHROOM, JULIA GARNER. WHO WAS 415 00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:26,299 AMAZING ON "OZARK" WAS LIKE "WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE ME?" WHICH WAS NICE TO BE LIKE -- 416 00:29:26,299 --> 00:29:28,368 >> Jimmy: OH IT'S INTERESTING, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE ME? I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER 417 00:29:28,368 --> 00:29:31,338 GOTTEN THAT. >> YEAH, WHY HAVEN'T YOU >> Jimmy: WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE 418 00:29:31,338 --> 00:29:34,274 AN IMPRESSION OF ME? >> YEAH, WHAT THE HECK >> Jimmy: YEAH 419 00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:36,676 YOU COULD PROBABLY NAIL HER. YOU COULD DO A GREAT - >> YEAH -- I'M WORKING ON IT 420 00:29:36,676 --> 00:29:40,947 IT'S COMING. >> Jimmy: IT'S COMING? >> YEAH. 421 00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:42,582 >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU GOT A A DIRECT MESSAGE FROM REECE WITHERSPOON. 422 00:29:42,582 --> 00:29:46,086 >> I DID, YES, ON A MOUNTAIN TOP. >> Jimmy: NOW, WAS REECE ON 423 00:29:46,086 --> 00:29:49,255 A MOUNTAIN TOP OR YOU WERE >> NO, I WILL DO THESE IMPRESSIONS AND THEN IT'S SORT 424 00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:55,061 OF THIS PANIC OF LIKE I HUMILIATED MYSELF? OR LIKE DO THEY THINK I'M LIKE, 425 00:29:55,061 --> 00:29:59,399 AWFUL? AND THEN THIS LIKE A LITTLE BLUE CHECK THING WILL APPEAR IN 426 00:29:59,399 --> 00:30:01,267 YOUR INSTAGRAM DMs AND IT'S A CELEBRITY THAT YOU'VE DONE AN IMPRESSION OF, BUT YOU DON'T 427 00:30:01,267 --> 00:30:08,375 KNOW WHAT IT'S SAYING. AND TO ME IT'S LIKE A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT 428 00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:11,544 YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE HUGE SO, I WAS ON THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN IN MONTANA. 429 00:30:11,544 --> 00:30:14,881 DON'T ASK WHY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IN THE SUMMER, A SKI MOUNTAIN 430 00:30:14,881 --> 00:30:16,516 AT THAT. YEAH, NOT SKIING, AND I ON DIDN'T HAVE SERVICE AND I WAS 431 00:30:16,516 --> 00:30:25,091 WITH MY BEST FRIEND. I WAS LIKE "WE GOT TO GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN." 432 00:30:25,091 --> 00:30:26,960 >> Jimmy: I MEAN, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THIS >> REECE 433 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,262 REECE! >> Jimmy: THE VIEW IS ALL GOOD, BUT I NEED THIS. 434 00:30:29,262 --> 00:30:32,866 >> YEAH, SHE WAS SO NICE AND THEN I WAS LIKE AH >> Jimmy: AND REECE LIKED IT 435 00:30:32,866 --> 00:30:36,569 >> YEAH, THEN WE WENT BACK UP THE MOUNTAIN >> Jimmy: YES! 436 00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:38,538 SEE, YOU GO DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. I WOULD DO THAT FOR REECE WITHERSPOON. 437 00:30:38,538 --> 00:30:40,840 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: GO BACK DOWN AND THEN CLIMB BACK UP THE MOUNTAIN 438 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,709 >> YEAH, THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO >> Jimmy: I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT 439 00:30:42,709 --> 00:30:44,377 OF WIGS AS WELL. WE DISCUSSED THIS. HOW MANY WIGS DO YOU HAVE IN 440 00:30:44,377 --> 00:30:48,181 YOUR HOME? >> I THINK AT THIS POINT, AS A A WOMAN, I HAVE ABOUT 200 WIGS 441 00:30:48,181 --> 00:30:57,891 MAYBE. >> Jimmy: I LOVE HOW HIGH YOUR VOICE JUST GOT 442 00:30:57,891 --> 00:31:03,463 DO YOU REALLY HAVE 200 WINGS >> AT LEAST 200 AT THIS POINT. [ LAUGHTER ] 443 00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:05,465 I HEARD A STORY AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS TRUE BUT THAT BRAD PITT WAS DOING 444 00:31:05,465 --> 00:31:10,337 DR. FAUCI ON SNL >> YES >> Jimmy: AND THEY NEEDED A WIG 445 00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:14,074 FOR THAT AND CALLED YOU AND BORROWED A WIG FROM YOU? >> YEAH, SO WE WERE FRESH IN 446 00:31:14,074 --> 00:31:19,446 THE LOCKDOWN AND YOU KNOW, YOU COULDN'T QUITE LIKE AMAZON A A WIG. 447 00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:21,614 IT MIGHT NOT COME IN TIME. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH YOU COULDN'T SEND ANYTHING 448 00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:24,884 >> YOU COULDN'T HAVE JEFF BEZOS WASN'T THERE FOR YOU THEN. [ LAUGHTER ] 449 00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:32,225 SO, JEFFREY WASN'T AVAILABLE SO THEY -- TOM BROKER WAS LIKE, "I HEAR YOU GOT A STASH. 450 00:31:32,225 --> 00:31:36,930 AND IT BECAME KIND OF DRUG DEAL, WHERE, LIKE, "YES, I DO HAVE A FAUCI WIG." 451 00:31:36,930 --> 00:31:40,633 AND THEN A MAN SHOWED UP IN LIKE A HAZMAT SUIT AND I THREW IT IN A BAG. 452 00:31:40,633 --> 00:31:44,371 I WIG DEALED >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DID A WIG DEAL 453 00:31:44,371 --> 00:31:50,110 AND IT ENDED UP ON, HERE'S BRAD PITT. >> YEAH. 454 00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:51,444 >> Jimmy: THERE HE IS RIGHT THERE WEARING -- THAT'S THE WIG. 455 00:31:51,444 --> 00:31:55,115 NOT BAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU CHLOE -- 456 00:31:55,115 --> 00:31:57,417 >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: THANK YOU CHLOE FINEMAN FOR SAVING 457 00:31:57,417 --> 00:32:00,854 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." >> THANKS. >> Jimmy: YOU REALLY DID 458 00:32:00,854 --> 00:32:03,256 >> YEAH, I IMMEDIATELY SMELLED IT WHEN IT CAME. I IMMEDIATELY WAS LIKE - 459 00:32:03,256 --> 00:32:05,792 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND I WORE IT. >> Jimmy: THE BEST EVER, YEAH. 460 00:32:05,792 --> 00:32:10,063 >> AND I MEAN, HE SMELLS GREAT >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE DOES. HE'S AMAZING 461 00:32:10,063 --> 00:32:12,132 ARE YOU UP FOR SOME NEW IMPRESSIONS GAME WHEN WE COME BACK 462 00:32:12,132 --> 00:32:14,300 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO, BUD. WE'RE DOING SOME COOM NEW 463 00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:17,270 IMPRESSIONS HERE WITH CHLOE FINEMAN. COME ON BACK EVERYBODY 464 00:32:17,270 --> 00:32:39,092 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. 465 00:32:39,092 --> 00:32:41,528 WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH 466 00:32:41,528 --> 00:32:46,132 CHLOE FINEMAN. WE LOVE CHLOE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 467 00:32:46,132 --> 00:32:48,201 I LOVE YOUR IMPRESSIONS. >> OH. >> Jimmy: I REALLY DO. 468 00:32:48,201 --> 00:32:50,103 YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITES OUT THERE. I JUST -- WITH THAT IN MIND, I 469 00:32:50,103 --> 00:32:52,472 WANTED TO CHALLENGE YOU TO SOMETHING NEW. IT'S TIME FOR "INTERVIEW OF 470 00:32:52,472 --> 00:32:54,407 IMPRESSIONS. HERE WE GO 471 00:32:58,345 --> 00:33:00,780 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS, OKAY >> OKAY. 472 00:33:00,780 --> 00:33:03,416 >> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH EACH OTHER, EXCEPT EVERY SO OFTEN 473 00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:05,151 WE'RE GOING TO HEAR THIS DING SOUND -- [ DING ] 474 00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:07,354 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: AND WHEN YOU HEAR THAT, YOUR GOING TO -- YOUR 475 00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:09,622 IMPRESSION WILL CHANGE AS WE KEEP TALKING >> OKAY. 476 00:33:09,622 --> 00:33:11,491 >> Jimmy: IS THAT OKAY >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO 477 00:33:11,491 --> 00:33:14,060 I'LL START THE CONVERSATION. WEATHER'S COOLING DOWN AS WE ALL KNOW 478 00:33:14,060 --> 00:33:20,567 [ DING ] BIG FALL PLANS MAYBE >> OH, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU 479 00:33:20,567 --> 00:33:28,208 A PIE, DUMBASS [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YEAH 480 00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:37,183 >> Jimmy: OH, JENNIFER OH MY GOODNESS [ DING ] 481 00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:39,486 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A FRUIT. >> FALL IS FASCINATING 482 00:33:39,486 --> 00:33:41,888 IT'S LIKE SUMMER BUT THEN IT'S COLDER THAN SUMMER, IT'S BIZARRE, RIGHT? 483 00:33:41,888 --> 00:33:43,857 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S SO INTERESTING, LIKE -- [ APPLAUSE ] 484 00:33:43,857 --> 00:33:46,259 [ DING ] >> Jimmy: IT IS, IT IS SUMMER, BUT FALL 485 00:33:46,259 --> 00:33:49,629 YEAH, NATALIE, YOU ARE CORRECT, YEAH >> OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE 486 00:33:49,629 --> 00:33:56,970 FALL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, MY 487 00:33:56,970 --> 00:34:03,410 JIMMY, I LOVE TO MAKE A SPICED CIDER WITH CARDAMOM AND NUTMEG [ LAUGHTER ] 488 00:34:03,410 --> 00:34:06,913 STAR ANISE >> Jimmy: OH, STAR ANISE MERYL STREEP -- LIKE STAR 489 00:34:06,913 --> 00:34:10,850 ANISE -- >> YES, YES, YOU KNOW THE DEVIL MIGHT WEAR PRADA, BUT THIS 490 00:34:10,850 --> 00:34:17,190 AUTUMN BOTTOM WEARS SCARVES. [ DING ] >> Jimmy: OH, I LOVE THAT. 491 00:34:17,190 --> 00:34:20,460 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU WEAR SCARVES, YOU WEAR WHATEVER YOU LIKE 492 00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:25,932 YEAH BUT JENNIFER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HALLOWEEN 493 00:34:25,932 --> 00:34:33,273 >> WHAT DO I THINK [ CHLOE INTENSIFIES [ LAUGHTER ] 494 00:34:33,273 --> 00:34:38,845 OH, IT'S CRAZY >> Jimmy: YEAH IT IS A LITTLE CRAZY THERE, YEAH. 495 00:34:38,845 --> 00:34:44,184 [ DING ] KIRA, DO YOU PREFER HALLOWEEN OR JACK'O'LANTERNS OR PUMPKINS 496 00:34:44,184 --> 00:34:49,422 >> VERY FRAGILE TO BE HERE [ LAUGHTER ] HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GOURD 497 00:34:49,422 --> 00:34:54,127 LIKE, REALLY, TRULY, DEEPLY SEEN A GOURD >> Jimmy: A GOURD? 498 00:34:54,127 --> 00:34:57,130 >> A GOURD >> Jimmy: A GOURD, NO. >> SORRY FOR MY DICTATION, IF 499 00:34:57,130 --> 00:35:01,668 MY LIPS TOUCH EACH OTHER, I WILL DIE [ LAUGHTER ] 500 00:35:01,668 --> 00:35:05,405 >> Jimmy: I DID NOT KNOW THAT. [ DING ] [ APPLAUSE ] 501 00:35:05,405 --> 00:35:09,442 >> THAT WAS JUDY GREEN >> Jimmy: WELL, ELIZABETH HOLMES, I MEAN, 502 00:35:09,442 --> 00:35:13,380 YOU'RE CURRENTLY ON TRIAL. I MEAN, THIS IS -- >> YEAH. 503 00:35:13,380 --> 00:35:17,650 YEAH >> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT -- ARE YOU OKAY TALKING ABOUT -- BEING 504 00:35:17,650 --> 00:35:21,054 HERE AND TALKING ABOUT THE - >> I CAN SAY WHAT I CAN, YOU KNOW, FIRST, THEY -- 505 00:35:21,054 --> 00:35:25,625 [ LAUGHTER ] FIRST, THEY QUESTION YOU [ LAUGHTER ] 506 00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:28,795 THEY CHALLENGE YOU >> Jimmy: OF COURSE THEY CHALLENGE YOU AND THEY QUESTION 507 00:35:28,795 --> 00:35:31,398 YOU, YEAH. >> AND THEN THEY PUT YOU IN PRISON FOR 20 YEARS. 508 00:35:31,398 --> 00:35:33,700 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO THEY - 509 00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:34,934 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ DING ] [ DING ] 510 00:35:34,934 --> 00:35:37,303 [ DING ] THIS IS CHLOE FINEMAN, BY THE WAY. 511 00:35:37,303 --> 00:35:41,241 * HOW DO YOU DO ALL OF THOSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 512 00:35:41,241 --> 00:35:45,078 CHLOE FINEMAN, AMAZING CHECK HER OUT ON THE NEW SEASON OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," THIS 513 00:35:45,078 --> 00:35:49,115 WEEKEND WITH HOST OWEN WILSON AND MUSICAL GUEST KACEY MUSGRAVES. 514 00:35:49,115 --> 00:35:51,951 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM THE FLAMING LIPS 515 00:35:51,951 --> 00:36:13,440 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "MOTHER 516 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:18,611 I'VE TAKEN LSD" FROM THEIR ALBUM, "AMERICAN HEAD," HERE'S "THE FLAMING LIPS. 517 00:36:18,611 --> 00:36:18,645 ALBUM, "AMERICAN HEAD," HERE'S "THE FLAMING LIPS. 518 00:36:21,781 --> 00:36:35,962 * * MOTHER I'VE TAKEN LSD 519 00:36:35,962 --> 00:36:43,703 I THOUGHT IT WOULD SET ME FRE BUT NOW I THINK * 520 00:36:43,703 --> 00:36:57,917 * IT'S CHANGED ME IT'S CHANGED M IT'S CHANGED M 521 00:36:57,917 --> 00:37:10,163 IT'S CHANGED ME * * NOW I SEE THE SADNESS IN THE WORLD 522 00:37:10,163 --> 00:37:19,472 I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SEE IT BEFORE * * NOW I SEE THE SADNESS 523 00:37:19,472 --> 00:37:34,120 IN THE WORLD SAD SAD SAD SA SADNESS SADNESS * 524 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:53,673 * SADNESS SADNESS MOTHER THEY'VE TAKEN KIM TO THE WAR 525 00:37:53,673 --> 00:38:03,083 PROBABLY WON'T SEE * * HER ANYMORE SHE TRIED TO ROB 526 00:38:03,083 --> 00:38:32,479 THE DRUG STORE OH OH * * 527 00:38:32,479 --> 00:38:50,964 * * MOTHER DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TOMMY'S CRAS 528 00:38:50,964 --> 00:38:57,604 YOU KNOW HE RIDE HIS MOTORCYCLE * * WAY TOO FAS 529 00:38:57,604 --> 00:39:05,712 HE'S ALIVE BUT THEY SAY HE WON'T LAST * 530 00:39:05,712 --> 00:39:22,228 * HE WON'T LAST NO HE WON'T LAST HE WON'T LAS 531 00:39:22,228 --> 00:39:31,304 NOW I SEE THE SADNESS * * IN THE WORL I'M SORRY I DIDN'T 532 00:39:31,304 --> 00:39:46,052 SEE IT BEFOR NOW I SEE THE SADNESS * * IN THE WORL 533 00:39:46,052 --> 00:40:10,810 SAD SAD SAD SA SADNESS SADNES SADNESS SADNESS * 534 00:40:10,810 --> 00:40:10,844 SADNESS SADNES SADNESS SADNESS * 535 00:40:11,578 --> 00:40:16,016 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: "THE FLAMING LIPS. 536 00:40:16,016 --> 00:40:20,820 "AMERICAN HEAD" IS OUT NOW JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT JERRY SEINFIELD WILL BE HERE 537 00:40:20,820 --> 00:40:26,192 AND WE HAVE MUSIC FROM TWICE MY THANKS TO JEFF DANIELS, CHLOE FINEMAN, THE FLAMING 538 00:40:26,192 --> 00:40:29,129 LIPS, ONCE AGAIN AND THE ROOTS FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 539 00:40:29,129 --> 00:40:34,167 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 540 00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:35,969 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY