>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - TREVOR NOAH,
BEANIE FELDSTEIN MUSICAL GUESTS GORILLAZ FEATURING AJ TRACEY,
AND THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1509 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. OH, MY GOODNESS.
HEY! THAT IS A CROWD! THANK YOU, GUYS.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME. HAVE A SEAT.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE.
YOU MADE IT. YOU'RE WATCHING. I HOPE YOU GUYS HAD A GOOD
LABOR DAY WEEKEND. YOU DID? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH, AMERICANS GOT TOGETHER TO FIRE UP THE GRILL. GRAB A COLD BEER AND TOSS BACK
SOME HORSE DEWORMER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT
LABOR DAY IS OVER, AND NOW WE'RE GEARING UP FOR FALL. IT'S THAT SPECIAL TIME WHEN
EVERY BARBECUE TABLE CLOTH BECOMES A GUY'S SHIRT. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND OF COURSE, THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR IS HERE AND THIS IS COOL, TODAY, FIRST
LADY, JILL BIDEN, RETURNED TO TEACH IN-PERSON CLASSES AT NORTHERN VIRGINIA COMMUNITY
COLLEGE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ISN'T THAT AMAZING
I'LL BE HONEST, IT'S NOT A A GREAT SIGN FOR JOE'S PRESIDENCY WHEN JILL'S LIKE,
"YOU KNOW, MAYBE I WON'T GIVE UP MY DAY JOB. [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S GOT TO BE WEIRD FOR HER TEACHER'S ASSISTANT TO HEAR, "GRADE THESE
I HAVE TO GO MINGLE WITH THE EMPEROR OF JAPAN." [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT JILL'S GLAD TO BE BACK TEACHING IN PERSON BECAUSE ON ZOOM YOU CAN SEE JOE IN THE
BACKGROUND IRONING HIS PANTS [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, YOU KNOW IT'S FALL
BECAUSE COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I WAS WATCHING SOME OF THAT THIS WEEKEND EVERYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT
THIS ON SATURDAY, A FRESHMAN ON THE INDIANA HOOSIERS WAS SPOTTED
WITH A TYPO ON HIS JERSEY. HERE'S A PHOTO [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, INSTEAD OF INDIANA, IT SAYS, "INDINIA." [ LAUGHTER ]
INDINIA. >> Steve: INDINIA. >> Jimmy: INDINIA SOUNDS LIKE
A MARVEL CHARACTER'S HOMELAND. "I HAIL FROM THE PLANET OF INDINIA.
ONE DAY HE HOPES TO GO PRO AND PLAY FOR THE INDINIAPOLIS COLTS
[ LAUGHTER ] AFTER INDIANA LOST THE GAME, HE'S LIKE, "YOU GUYS LOST.
I'M ON INDINIA I'M UNDEFEATED." [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS -- [ LAUGHTER ] MARVEL'S NEW MOVIE "SHANG-CHI
AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS" CRUSHED LABOR DAY RECORDS WITH A $90 MILLION BOX
OFFICE DEBUT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE RIGHT NOW THE ONLY OTHER PEOPLE
CLOSE TO HAVING TEN RINGS ARE TOM BRADY AND EVERY UNCLE IN NEW JERSEY
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, THIS MADE ME LAUGH A STATUE OF SCOTTISH HERO
WILLIAM WALLACE JUST WENT UP IN SCOTLAND IT'S BASED ON MEL GIBSON'S
PERFORMANCE AS WALLACE IN "BRAVEHEART. PEOPLE AREN'T TOO HAPPY WITH
HOW IT LOOKS NOW, AS A REMINDER, HERE'S MEL GIBSON IN "BRAVEHEART.
AND HERE'S THE NEW STATUE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Questlove: WHAT
[ APPLAUSE ] OH, NO >> Jimmy: PRETTY ROUGH
WELL, PARAMOUNT JUST RELEASED A STATEMENT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER ] THEY SAID, "THE STATUE MIGHT NOT BE FOR EVERYONE, BUT WE'RE
HONORED THAT OUR FILM IS BEING COMMEMORATED IN THIS WAY." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: OKAY >> Jimmy: THEN THE STATUE ACTUALLY RELEASED ITS OWN
STATEMENT AND SAID, "YEAH, I'M THE FIRST STERTURE IN SCERTLERND -
[ LAUGHTER ] AND MERBE EVEN THE WERL WERLD. [ LAUGHTER ]
THEN PARAMOUNT SAID, "IT IS TRULY AN HONOR TO HAVE 'BRAVEHEART' IMMORTALIZED LIKE
THIS THANK YOU. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND THE STATUE WAS LIKE, "YEAH, THEY'LL NEVER TERK AWAY OUR FRERDERM."
[ LAUGHTER ] THEN THIS STATUE OF OLD SOCCER STAR CHRISTIANO RONALDO SPOKE
UP AND SAID, "KERP YER HEAD UP, WERLLIERM. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE PERFECT JERST THE WAY YER ER." [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN THIS OLD PLAQUE OF ELVIS PRESLEY SAID, "HERTERS
GERNNA HERTE [ LAUGHTER ] YER LOOK JERST LIKE MEL GIBSON
IN 'BRERVEHERT." [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY THE STATUE OF
LUCILLE BALL SAID, "ARE YOU SINGLE [ LAUGHTER ]
CAUSE I'M -- AND LOOKING LIKE A SNERK." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WELL, WE MENTIONED ELVIS AND GET THIS SOMEONE JUST PAID OVER
$72,000 FOR A CHUNK OF HIS HAIR AT AN AUCTION. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THE AUCTIONEER WAS LIKE, "SOLD TO THE FREAK IN THE THIRD ROW. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND RIGHT AFTER SOMEONE CUT A $72,000 CHECK FOR HAIR IN A JAR, CHASE BANK CALLED LIKE,
"SO, WE'RE HOPING THIS IS A FRAUD. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT SOMEONE ACTUALLY PAID OVER $72,000 FOR A CLUMP OF HAIR
THAT BELONGED TO ELVIS PRESLEY CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN? [ LAUGHTER ]
THERE IT IS. WHAT DO YOU THINK, QUEST >> Questlove: I DON'T KNOW,
MAN. >> Jimmy: MARK >> YEAH, IT'S VERY WEIRD
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: JAMES? >> ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TROUBLE
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WORTH EVERY PENNY, MAN [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SOUNDS GOOD. NOT BAD. A GOOD ELVIS, MAN.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND LISTEN TO THIS I HEARD THAT AMAZON IS CLOSE TO
LAUNCHING ITS OWN BRAND OF SMART TVs. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
YEAH, THEY'RE PRETTY COOL. YOU WATCH THE TV, AND SINCE IT'S AMAZON, THE TV WATCHES
YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN." SPEAKING OF AMAZON, THIS WEEKEND M.I.T. REVEALED THAT
JEFF BEZOS IS INVESTING IN A A NEW BIOTECH COMPANY THAT'S TRYING TO REVERSE THE AGING
PROCESS. WHEN REACHED FOR COMMENT BEZOS SAID, "SORRY, BUT IT'S A
A PERSONAL POLICY TO NOT COMMENT ON MY INVESTMENTS. THEN HE ADDED, "HAVING SAID
THAT, REVERSING THE AGING PROCESS IS A FASCINATING SCIENTIFIC FRONTIER.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] AND HE CONCLUDED BY SAYING,
"MAN HAS LONG SOUGHT LONG TO RECLAIM HIS YOUTH, AND THAT TREND WILL NO DOUBT CONTINUING
IN THE DECADES TO COME ALSO, CAN I BORROW THE CAR COME ON, IT'S HOMECOMING WEEK.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK HE'S TAKING A NAP >> Steve: I DON'T KNOW
HE LOOKS YOUNGER >> Jimmy: AND FINALLY, I READ THAT SURGEONS SUCCESSFULLY
REMOVED A NOKIA CELL PHONE FROM A MAN'S BODY AFTER HE SWALLOWED IT WHOLE
[ LAUGHTER ] THE KIDS WERE SO EMBARRASSED THEY'RE LIKE "DAD, PLEASE
SWALLOW AN iPHONE NEXT TIME. [ LAUGHTER ] EVEN WORSE, AFTER FOUR DAYS,
THE MAN STILL HAD ZERO NOTIFICATIONS. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN REACHED FOR A COMMENT, THE MAN SAID HE DIDN'T SWALLOW IT. IT WAS JUST THE WORST BUTT DIAL
EVER WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,
EVERYBODY! COME ON, NOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HEY! IT IS TUESDAY. WE'RE EXCITED TO BE BACK
WE HAVE A GREAT WEEK OF SHOWS AHEAD.
PETE DAVIDSON AND REESE WITHERSPOON WILL BE JOINING US
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND BE SURE TO TUNE IN THURSDAY NIGHT.
WE HAVE A BIG SHOW AFTER THE NFL KICKOFF GAME JOHN CENA WILL BE HERE
>> Steve: WOAH >> Jimmy: J BALVIN WILL BE ON TO TALK AND PERFORM AT THE BIG
SHOW THURSDAY. BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
HE IS THE HOST OF "THE DAILY SHOW," AND TICKETS TO HIS "BACK TO ABNORMAL" STAND-UP TOUR ARE
AVAILABLE NOW. TREVOR NOAH IS HERE THIS EVENING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOAH >> Jimmy: FUNNY MAN.
PLUS, EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT HER ROLE AS MONICA LEWINSKY IN "IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME
STORY. BEANIE FELDSTEIN IS HERE >> Steve: WOAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: TALENTED AND WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM
GORILLAZ FEATURING AJ TRACEY >> Steve: WOAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WE LOVE GORILLAZ DO YOU WANT TO GIVE -- IT IS CALLED "JIMMY JIMMY," THE NAME
OF THE SONG. >> Steve: "JIMMY, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: "JIMMY, JIMMY.
>> Steve: JAM ME SOME "JIMMY, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: HERE YOU GO.
YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?
THERE'S PRESSURE ON YO
A LIFE AIN'T FEELING HOW IT USED TO * JIMMY JIMMY
NO NEED TO BE SA WHEN THEY PLAY YOUR SONG WE'LL GET ALONG *
* I BEEN SEARCHING * >> Jimmy: A BEAUTIFUL SONG [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GUYS, BEFORE WE GO ON, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT THE THANK SOME OF OUR SPONSORS FOR
TONIGHT'S SHOW THEY DON'T ALWAYS FIT IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAKS, AND WE WANT
TO MAKE SURE WE MENTION ALL OF THEM SO, IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW
SPONSORS." HERE WE GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS * OUR FIRST SPONSOR IS SPECTRUM,
"WE HEAR YOUR COMPLAINTS, AND WE DON'T CARE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
HEAD AND SHOULDERS, "LET EVERYONE WHO USES YOUR BATHROOM KNOW YOU HAVE DANDRUFF."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CNBC, "CORNERING THE MARKET IN BUSINESS NEWS AND SHARK TANK
RERUNS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE GUINNESS, "BECAUSE SOMETIMES
YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR A TALL COLD GLASS OF CARBONATED MOTOR OIL.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ALSO SPONSORED BY U-HAUL, "DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE
DRIVING A SEMITRUCK? NO PERFECT.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CADBURY, "WE DO CREME EGGS FOR HALLOWEEN NOW.
JUST GO WITH IT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CINEMAX, "WOAH, DON'T FREAK
OUT. WE CAME FREE WITH HBO. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
ATHLETA, "IF YOU SQUINT YOU CAN PRETEND WE'RE LULULEMON. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AT&T, "SORRY -- CUTTING OUT -- REPEAT --" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
OAT MILK, "HONESTLY WE STARTED THIS AS A JOKE AND THEN THE THING JUST KIND OF BLEW UP."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ADIDAS, "THE OFFICIAL TRACK SUIT FOR PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES
AND BACKGROUND ACTORS IN 'THE SOPRANOS' MOVIE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
ALSO, COORS LIGHT, "OKAY, FINE WE CONFESS -- IT'S JUST AS COLD AS EVERY OTHER BEER.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, USA TODAY, "BECAUSE IT'S MORNING, AND
YOU'RE IN A HOTEL. WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR "TONIGHT SHOW" SPONSORS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "DO NOT PLAY."
SOME GOOD SONGS. COME ON BACK HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
NOW, RIGHT NOW, I'M ABOUT TO PLAY YOU SOME REAL SONGS FROM REAL BANDS THAT I THINK YOU
SHOULD AVOID IT IS TIME FOR MY "DO NOT PLAY LIST."
HERE WE GO
* DO NOT PLAY
DO NOT PLA DO NOT PLA THESE SONGS THESE SONGS *
>> Jimmy: BEFORE WE START, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT EVERY ARTIST AND SONG THAT I'M
ABOUT TO PLAY FOR YOU GUYS IS 100% REAL. THESE ARE ACTUAL BANDS
THESE ARE ACTUAL SONGS YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THEM ON SPOTIFY OR AMAZON OR SEE IF
YOUR LOCAL MUSIC STORE HAS THEM THEY ARE REAL.
>> Questlove: DON'T BELIEVE YOU. >> Jimmy: QUESTLOVE, THEY ARE
REAL >> Questlove: DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
>> Jimmy: THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE LET'S JUST -- LET'S SEE WHAT'S
ON MY "DO NOT PLAY LIST" TONIGHT. THIS FIRST ONE IS FROM A SINGER
CALLED -- GNESA I THINK. >> Steve: HMM. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: GNESA I THINK. OR GNESA MAYBE >> Steve: MAYBE GNESA?
>> Jimmy: LIKE, WITH LIKE GNOCCHI. OR NEW
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: LIKE GNESA
>> Steve: GNESA. >> Jimmy: GNESA. >> Steve: GNESA "WILDER.
>> Jimmy: GNESA, SHE'S ONLY RELEASED ONE SONG. >> Steve: REALLY
>> Jimmy: AND IT CAME OUT NINE YEARS AGO. MAYBE PEOPLE JUST WEREN'T READY
FOR IT THE SONG IS CALLED "WILDER." >> Steve: "WILDER.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: TAKE A LISTEN. *
* LA, LA, LA, LA, L LA, LA, LA, LA, LA LA, LA, LA, LA, LA
LA, LA * * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S
GOOD [ LAUGHTER ] LET'S GIVE IT ANOTHER NINE
YEARS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: AND THEN, WE'LL MAKE
IT WILDEST >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH OH, NEXT UP IS A GERMAN JAZZ
I LOVE GERMAN JAZZ >> Steve: LOVE IT. >> Jimmy: THIS IS AN ARTIST
CALLED THE PETER BROTZMANN SEXTET SLASH QUARTET [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Questlove: WAIT, WHAT WHAT >> Steve: DEPENDING HOW MANY
PEOPLE ARE IN THE ROOM >> Jimmy: HEY MAN, HE DOES WHAT HE DOES, MAN
>> Steve: HEY MAN. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, IT IS HIS
INTERPRETATION >> Questlove: SEXTET, QUARTET. WHATEVER, MAN.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NO IT'S JAZZ, DUDE.
>> Steve: YEAH, TOTALLY JAZZ >> Jimmy: IT'S UP FOR INTERPRETATION
>> Steve: JAZZ >> Jimmy: THERE'S NO RULES IN JAZZ
>> Steve: NO >> Jimmy: ANYWAYS, THE SONG IS CALLED "NIPPLE."
[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY >> Steve: APPARENTLY NOW, THERE
ARE RULES. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: I'M TRYING TO
UNDERSTAND THE ARTWORK [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: GUYS, HE'S LIKE
PLAYING THE PIANO PROBABLY SMOKING A CIGARETTE OR SOMETHING?
THAT'S A PIANO >> Steve: WE HOPE IT IS A PIANO.
>> Questlove: RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: I THINK THAT'S THE
QUARTET. >> Tariq: YEAH, WE'RE LUCKY. >> Jimmy: NO, THAT'S LIKE HIS
BEARD. >> Steve: SURE >> Jimmy: OLD BEARD.
>> Steve: THAT'S A BEARD, RIGHT. >> Jimmy: AND THAT'S LIKE --
THAT'S A -- THAT'S LIKE A TOOTH PICK OR A CIGARETTE? >> Tariq: IT LOOKS LIKE JAZZ
CIGARETTE. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: LOOKS LIKE A HAND
ROLLED LIKE A THICK TOOTH PICK. >> Questlove: SURE
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: LIKE A CHEW ROOT - >> Jimmy: YEAH
CHEW ROOT IS WHAT THEY CALL IT, SURE IN GERMANY. ANYWAY, LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT
* [ DISORGANIZED INSTRUMENTS ] *
>> Jimmy: IT SOUNDS LIKE A A GUITAR CENTER ON A BUSY
SATURDAY [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH
I'M NOT SURE IF I WAS HEARING THE SEXTET OR THE QUARTET. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
NEXT UP IS AN ARTIST THESE ARE ALL ARTISTS. >> Steve: THEY'RE ALL ARTISTS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS AN ARTIST CALLED CASON DAY
>> Steve: CASON DAY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S A COOL LOOKING DUDE
>> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: AND ACCORDING TO THIS WEBSITE, HE IS A
MULTI-INSTRUMENTALIST AND SINGER WHO COVERS ROCK, POP, FOLK, METAL AND MUSICAL
THEATER. A TALENTED GUY LET'S TAKE A LISTEN TO A SONG
HE WROTE CALLED "SCHLINKY TOO. >> Questlove: WHAT WAIT
* * LET'S TAKE A RIDE ON THE BOO BOO TRAIN *
[ LAUGHTER ] * >> Questlove: I LIKE THAT.
* ON THE TRAIN * * LET'S TAKE A RIDE ON THE BOO BOO TRAIN *
* >> Jimmy: I LIKE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: I LOVE THE BOO BOO TRAIN. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I TAKE A RIDE
ON THE BOO BOO TRAIN, DUDE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: YEAH
YOU GOT TO >> Jimmy: WHAT >> Steve: YOU GOT TO
>> Jimmy: WE JUST DON'T SIT NEXT TO ME >> Steve: NO, DO NOT
NO, DON'T DO THAT TO ME. DON'T STEP IN ANY -- [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THIS NEXT ONE -- THIS NEXT ONE IS A FAMILY BAND >> Steve: OH, GOOD
>> Jimmy: I LOVE FAMILY BANDS. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: THE BEE GEES, THE
JACKSONS JONAS BROTHERS THIS IS A FAMILY BAND CALLED
THE THREE BEAT SLIDE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S THEM THERE.
"SKIP SLIDE" IS THE NAME OF THE SONG AND HERE WE GO, LET'S TAKE A
A LISTEN * IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DA LET'S GO OUTSIDE
AND PLAY * * NOW LISTEN UP I'M WITH MY PALS
THE SONG AIN'T NO JOKE BECAUSE WERE ALL SO STOKED * * BEING WITH MY FRIENDS
IS JUST THE PRIZ ON A DAY WITH NO FLIES WE'VE GOT FUN OUTSIDE *
* WHEN THE SUN'S NICE AND HIGH *
* SO GET YOUR CHEEK OFF THE SEAT AND LET YOUR BOD
GET THE BEAT * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS ALMOST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO TO THE RECORDING BOOTH AND FORGET YOUR LYRICS
>> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] GET ME A RHYMING DICTIONARY,
QUICK. >> Jimmy: YEAH * OUT WITH MY CRE
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO * * COWS GO MOO AND TAKE A RID
ON THE BOO-BOO TRAIN YEAH * [ LAUGHTER ]
* >> Jimmy: PUT ON "BOO-BOO TRAIN.
THAT WAS THE ONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * LET'S TAKE A RIDE
ON THE BOO BOO TRAIN * >> Jimmy: IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE AN ALBUM OR A SONG YOU THINK WE
CAN USE ON OUR NEXT "DO NOT PLAY LIST," SEND IT TO US AT DONOTPLAY@TONIGHTSHOW.COM WE'LL
BE RIGHT BACK TREVOR NOAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS A TALENTED COMEDIAN AND THE HOST OF "THE DAILY SHOW.
TICKETS TO SEE HIM LIVE ON THE "BACK TO ABNORMAL TOUR" ARE AVAILABLE AT TREVORNOAH.COM.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME TREVOR NOAH!
* * >> Jimmy: TREVOR NOAH!
YEAH WELCOME BACK HOW DOES THAT FEEL
>> WOW >> Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S GOT TO FEEL GOOD, HUH
>> WOW >> Jimmy: COME OUT TO A STANDING O
COME ON, THEY LOVE YOU, MAN. >> IT'S A LITTLE -- IT'S A A LITTLE OVERWHELMING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S WONDERFUL, THANK YOU. BUT IT'S A LITTLE -- IT'S
A LITTLE OVERWHELMING. >> Jimmy: IT IS, RIGHT >> I'VE BEEN SMALL FOR A VERY
LONG TIME. >> Jimmy: I KNOW, YOU REALLY HAVE
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL LIKE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW WITH THE PANDEMIC
I ALMOST FEEL LIKE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE DINOSAURS PROBABLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE THE WORLD
LIKE THIS, LIKE WHEN THE ASTEROID HITS, AND THEY WERE LIKE "BOOM," AND THEN THEY WERE
LIKE, "WHOA," AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE, "OH, WE SURVIVED. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE, "OH, LET'S CARRY ON WITH OUR LIVES. LET'S GO TO THE "TONIGHT SHOW.
AND THEN, THE CLOUD CAME AND THEY WERE LIKE, "OH, MAN WE GOT CONFIDENT TOO QUICKLY."
[ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW I DON'T KNOW
>> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ON THE BABY STEPS -
>> AND I HOPE SO I HOPE SO -- BABY STEPS. >> Jimmy: HE SAYS RIGHT BACK
>> EITHER WAY, WE'RE HAVING FUN ALONG THE WAY. >> Jimmy: WE'RE HAVING FUN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'RE GOING BACK TO WEARING MASKS.
WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING. >> YOU KNOW WHAT MY THING IS I GO, "THIS IS WHAT THE VACCINE
IS SUPPOSED TO BE -- I WAS LIKE, "I GOT THE VACCINE" AND I WAS LIKE, "I'M NOW GOING TO
HAVE FUN." SO I WAS LIKE I'M GOING TO TEST THE VACCINE.
FIRST PLACE I WENT TO, I WENT TO MIAMI THAT WAS THE FIRST THING I DID
I WAS LIKE I'VE GOT THE VACCINE. [ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS LIKE I'M GOING TO GO MIAMI BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE THE VACCINE WORKS.
AND I WENT TO MIAMI AND THAT WAS GREAT. >> Jimmy: TESTED IT OUT.
>> DIDN'T GET COVID. GOT OTHER DISEASES, BUT DIDN'T GET COVID.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK, MAN.
>> Jimmy: I AM HAPPY AND THANKFUL THAT YOU'RE BACK HERE BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I SAW THAT
YOU DID STAND-UP OVER THE SUMMER >> YEAH, IT WAS CRAZY, MAN
>> Jimmy: I GOT A PICTURE OF YOU THAT NIGHT AND HERE'S YOU, CHRIS ROCK AND DAVE CHAPPELLE.
>> THAT WAS WILD, MAN. >> Jimmy: I MEAN - >> BUT YOU SEE, THIS IS --
NO, SO THIS IS - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS IS WHERE -- I ACTUALLY GOT
TRICKED. SO DAVE SAID HE WAS DOING A SHOW THAT I SHOULD COME AND
WATCH. AND SO, I RODE A SISSY BIKE THERE.
THAT'S HOW CONFIDENT I WAS THAT I WASN'T PERFORMING, RIGHT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE YOU DON'T RIDE A A BICYCLE WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE PERFORM AT A SHOW
THAT'S LIKE AS A COMEDIAN, BECAUSE THE THING IS, IF YOU GO TO A SHOW, YOU DON'T KNOW IF
IT'S GOING TO GO WELL OR IF IT'S GOING TO GO BADLY, RIGHT. AND SO, IF IT GOES BADLY, YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE RIDING A BICYCLE HOME >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S VERY SAD.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S THE MOST DEPRESSING THING IN THE WORLD
>> YOU JUST WANT TO BE IN THE BACK OF A CAR BEING LIKE, "THAT WAS TERRIBLE."
YOU DON'T WANT TO RIDE A A BICYCLE HOME >> Jimmy: NO
>> SO I RODE A BICYCLE THERE OH, YOU'RE PERFORMING. BUT I RODE A BICYCLE THERE, AND
THEN, HE WAS LIKE, "OH, YOU'RE PERFORMING." THEN I WAS LIKE, "BUT I RODE A
A BICYCLE THERE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T BOMB
>> YEAH, I CAN'T BOMB THEN RIDE MY BIKE HOME BUT YEAH, AGAIN, IT WAS
AMAZING. I MEAN, DAVE CHAPPELL AND CHRIS ROCK AND THE THREE OF US
ON STAGE AND WE'RE WORKING MATERIAL AND WE'RE TRYING. AND THE AUDIENCE WAS SO HAPPY
TO BE OUT AGAIN. >> Jimmy: IT WAS JUST, YEAH, IT WAS --
THOSE ARE DREAM MOMENTS IN LIFE >> Jimmy: EVERYONE MUST ASK,
BUT DO YOU GET ADVICE FROM DAVE CHAPPELLE OR CHRIS ROCK >> OH, YEAH, DEFINITELY.
IF YOU JUST LISTEN TO THEM, IT'S ADVICE. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> LIKE CHRIS ROCK I USED TO WORK SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND I WAS LIKE PROUD OF
IT I WAS LIKE, "I WORK SEVEN DAYS A WEEK
I WORK SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, EVERYDAY." AND THEN, CHRIS ROCK WAS LIKE,
"YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE MOST UNFUNNY COMEDIAN OF ALL TIME." [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT? AND HE'S LIKE, "YOU WORK ALL THE TIME."
HE'S LIKE, "COMEDY COMES FROM LIFE." YOU KNOW, AND HE WAS LIKE, "IF
YOU WORK EVERY DAY, WHAT IS YOUR COMEDY -- YOUR COMEDY IS GOING TO START BEING ABOUT
COMEDY." AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, MAN I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT."
>> Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S WILD. >> YEAH.
AND LIKE, HE'S TOLD ME SO MANY THINGS CHAPPELLE HAS GIVEN ME ADVICE.
CHAPPELLE WILL GIVE ME ADVICE THOUGH HE'LL GO, "HERE'S ALL THE
ADVICE," AND THEN AT THE END OF IT, HE GOES, "BUT DON'T TAKE MY ADVICE."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S INTERESTING, RIGHT?
>> HIS ADVICE IS ALWAYS LIKE, "DON'T LISTEN TO ME. >> Jimmy: BUT YOU DID HAVE SOME
TIME OFF I MEAN - >> I DID, MAN.
I TRIED TO USE IT AS MUCH -- I TELL EVERYBODY, WE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT LIFE IS GOING TO BE
LIKE OR NOT BE LIKE. SO USE THE LITTLE OPPORTUNITIES THAT YOU GET TO JUST LIVE
A LITTLE BIT MORE. EVEN IF IT MEANS WALK -- I'VE WALKED IN MORE PARKS IN
NEW YORK THAN I EVER DID IN LIKE THE SIX YEARS SINCE I MOVED HERE
NOW I'M LIKE, "THERE IS A PARK I WALK IN IT." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> BEFORE, I WAS LIKE, EWW, A PARK TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK.
NOW, LIKE DO I TOURISTY THINGS YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE LIVE IN THE CITY AND THEY'VE NEVER
SEEN ANY OF THE SIGHTS >> Jimmy: NO >> WE TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.
>> Jimmy: WE REALLY DO, YEAH PEOPLE GO, "DO YOU GO SEE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?
I'M LIKE, "NO. I DON'T SEE THAT EVERYDAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
I KNOW IT EXISTS IT'S HERE. >> YOU SEE, AND THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT. SO I'VE TRIED TO JUST LIKE LIVE A BIT MORE
THAT'S WHAT I'M BEEN DOING DURING THIS PERIOD TRYING TO LIVE A LITTLE IT
MORE TO APPRECIATE WHAT WE DIDN'T HAVE
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE DOING YOUR "BACK TO ABNORMAL TOUR," WHICH IS -- THIS IS GOING TO BE IN
LONDON YOU'RE GOING ALL OVER. >> YES, I'M GOING TO LONDON
TONIGHT. AND THEN START THE SHOW. SO IT'S GOING TO BE AT THE
02 ARENA I'M REALLY EXCITED IT'S SOLD OUT.
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> YEAH. I MEAN, LIKE, THE U.K. IS JUST
OPEN I LOVE HOW EVERY COUNTRY IS GOING WITH THEIR OWN THING
[ LAUGHTER ] AMERICANS, LOOK, GUYS, WE'RE SORT OF OPEN BUT WE'RE NOT OPEN
FULLY. AND THEN, IN THE U.K., THEY WERE LIKE, WE'RE CLOSED, WE'RE
CLOSED, WE'RE CLOSED, THEN THEY'RE LIKE, ALL RIGHT, IT'S OPEN, WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
[ LAUGHTER ] WE'RE OPEN THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE
NOW. WE'RE OPEN [ APPLAUSE ]
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING >> Jimmy: AND "DAILY SHOW" COMES BACK, WHEN ARE YOU BACK?
>> NEXT WEEK, MONDAY, WE'RE BACK >> Jimmy: NEXT MONDAY, YOU'RE
BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WE'RE BACK NEXT MONDAY.
>> Jimmy: I THINK THE SHOW THAT YOU WERE DOING WAS AMAZING, BY THE WAY.
YOU DID GREAT WORK WHEN WE NEEDED YOU WE NEEDED PEOPLE TO COME OUT
AND ENTERTAIN AND YOU WERE RIGHT THERE. AND YOU WERE LIKE, "YEP, I'M
GOING TO DO IT FROM MY HOUSE I'M GOING TO DO IT," AND YOU JUST DID IT.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS AWESOME >> THANK YOU, MAN. >> Jimmy: PROPS TO YOU FOR
DOING THAT >> YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT CREATIVE AND REALLY GOOD. BUT NOW, ARE YOU GOING BACK TO
THE SUITS? >> WE CAN'T GO BACK ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE
MIDDLE OF IT SO IT'S LIKE, ARE WE GOING TO TRY FIND A SPACE -- I THINK MY
NEIGHBORS ARE HAPPY, YOU KNOW. BECAUSE MY NEIGHBORS WERE LIKE, "SO, THIS IS LIKE WHERE YOU
MAKE THE SHOW NORMALLY?" YEAH THIS IS ME MAKING THE SHOW
I WAS LIKE THE GUY SCREAMING NEXT DOOR TO YOU WELCOME BACK
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: CRAZY -- YEAH. >> YEAH, NO, YOU CAN GO.
SO YEAH, I'M FIGURING OUT THE PIECES NOW IT'S GOING TO BE EXCITING.
LIKE I'M TRYING NEW THINGS, I'M PLAYING -- YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WHAT
COVID HAS DONE TO ME IS IT HAS MADE ME A LITTLE BIT LESS AFRAID TO FAIL IN LIFE
BECAUSE WHEN COVID HAPPENED, IT TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM US DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT TOOK AWAY OUR FRIENDS, IT TOOK AWAY OUR OPPORTUNITIES, IT TOOK AWAY SO MANY PEOPLE'S
JOBS IT TOOK AWAY DREAMS, IT TOOK AWAY ASPIRATIONS
AND SO NOW, I FEEL UNGRATEFUL NOT TRYING TO LIVE LIFE A LITTLE BIT MORE BECAUSE
THERE'S LIFE TO BE LIVED DOES THAT MAKE SENSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, ABSOLUTELY
>> YEAH, SO NOW, I'M JUST LIKE - >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAVE FUN, I LOVE THAT. >> TRY IT.
>> Jimmy: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN. WHEN WE COME BACK, MORE WITH
TREVOR NOAH. COME ON BACK WE'RE GOING TO TRY OUT A NEW
GAME [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. I'M HANGING OUT WITH
TREVOR NOAH! NOW -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
TREVOR, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO PLAY A BRAND NEW GAME TOGETHER
IT IS TIME FOR "FIRST TRY. HERE WE GO
* FIRST TRY * >> Jimmy: HERE'S HOW IT WORKS. WE WILL BOTH HAVE TO COMPLETE
THE SAME CHALLENGE, BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT ON THE FIRST TRY. OKAY, THERE ARE NO REDO'S AND
NO SECOND CHANCES. WHOEVER COMPLETES THE MOST CHALLENGES ON THE FIRST TRY
WINS ARE YOU READY FOR THIS >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THERE'S NO REAL -- WE'RE
DOING SOMETHING FOR THE FIRST TIME >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND WE HAVE TO DO IT ON THE FIRST TRY? >> Jimmy: CORRECT.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S SOMETHING WE'VE PROBABLY DONE BEFORE BUT NOW THE
PRESSURE IS ON YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO DO IT RIGHT.
>> I MEAN, I'LL TRY, BUT I MEAN - >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WHOLE
POINT OF THE GAME. I'LL TRY >> LET'S SEE, LET'S DO IT.
>> Jimmy: THE FIRST CHALLENGE, I'M DOING IT SINCE I'M THE HOST
IT'S PLUGGING IN A USB CORD THE CORRECT WAY WITHOUT LOOKING. >> WOAH, WOAH, WAIT, WAIT.
WITHOUT LOOKING? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> OKAY, SO DON'T LOOK, OKAY,
WAIT, WAIT [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, LOOK, YOU'RE
FLIPPING IT AROUND ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. >> DON'T LOOK.
DON'T LOOK [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S A POINT FOR ME.
THAT'S -- THAT'S HOW FUN AND RANDOM THE GAME IS >> CONGRATULATIONS
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I FEEL GREAT DO YOU HAVE YOUR USB THING
THERE? >> YEAH, BUT I DON'T -- I DON'T HAVE A USB -- LIKE, I DON'T
HAVE A HARD DRIVE. >> Jimmy: NO >> I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE
[ LAUGHTER ] SOMEONE WAS LIKE, "AW. >> Jimmy: OH
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M LYING. I'VE GOT A USB DRIVE SOMEWHERE
>> Jimmy: HERE WE GO HE CAN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> YES YES! >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD RIGHT THERE. ALL RIGHT.
FANTASTIC. FOR THIS NEXT ONE, OKAY, WE HAVE TO OPEN THIS BOOK
YOU HAVE THE ADVANTAGE HERE. >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: THIS IS YOUR BOOK.
>> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: PAPER BACK "BORN A CRIME.
SO THIS IS - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: NOW YOU HAVE TO OPEN THE BOOK - >> YES
>> Jimmy: TO EXACTLY SOMEWHERE BETWEEN PAGES 200 AND 250 WITHOUT LOOKING.
>> YEAH, YOU READY OH 149?
[ FOG HORN ] >> Jimmy: 217! YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * ALL RIGHT.
THIS ONE -- THIS ONE IS HARD >> CAN I JUST SAY FOR THE RECORD
THE GAME, I'M HAVING A FUN TIME WITH THIS. I'M ENJOYING THIS WITH YOU
THAT SOUND EFFECT IS UNNECESSARY. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ FOG HORN ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO, YEAH, REALLY, YEAH
>> THAT IS JUST LIKE - >> Jimmy: THAT'S LIKE TAKING A A BICYCLE HOME, ISN'T IT
>> I MEAN, THAT IS LIKE A TERRIBLE SOUND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING IN LIFE [ LAUGHTER ] [ FOG HORN ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY >> OKAY, LET'S DO IT WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE
>> Jimmy: THIS NEXT ROUND, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FLIP THE WATER BOTTLE AND HAVE IT LAND
STRAIGHT UP ON THE DESK. SINCE YOU'RE MY GUEST, YOU GO FIRST.
>> THIS IS -- NO I USED TO -- I USED TO --
ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
[ LAUGHTER ] THE KEYBOARD - >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW
THE KEYBOARD WAS THERE WE'LL MOVE THE KEYBOARD. I THINK WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO
DO IS THIS [ CHEERS ] >> THERE'S NO WAY.
NO [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ FOG HORN ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WAIT, WAIT TRY --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: LET'S JUST TRY TO DO IT AGAIN
DO IT HOWEVER YOU COULD DO IT THE FIRST TIME >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: WE'RE CHANGING THE RULES A LITTLE BIT HERE. >> ALL RIGHT
I'LL TRY AGAIN SO WHEN YOU WERE STANDING UP, WAS THAT EASIER?
>> Jimmy: IT WAS EASIER. I LIKED STANDING UP. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ FOG HORN ] >> WE'RE GOING TO FIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ AUDIENCE GROANS >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO TRY ONE
MORE, YEAH >> -- FLIPPING THIS THING. I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP FLIPPING
THIS BOTTLE. I'M NOT GOING TO FAIL. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S A SLIDE THERE >> ALMOST, ALMOST. >> Jimmy: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
RIGHT THERE. OH, THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE.
COME ON NOW! >> I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT THAT SOUND
>> Jimmy: I KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MAN
>> HE'S EXHAUSTED, ALL RIGHT DO WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE FIRST TRY, FIRST TIME?
>> ALL RIGHT >> Jimmy: THAT WAS AMAZING RIGHT THERE.
WE COULD HAVE ENDED IT RIGHT THERE. AND THAT WOULD'VE BENN PERFECT
BUT INSTEAD, THIS ONE IS - >> EAT THE POPCORN WITHOUT IT GETTING STUCK IN YOUR TEETH.
>> Jimmy: NO [ LAUGHTER ] TOSS IT UP IN THE AIR AND THEN
CATCH IT IN YOUR MOUTH >> OH, YEAH, NO. I THINK I CAN DO THAT FIRST
TRY. >> Jimmy: I THINK I CAN DO THAT FIRST TRY, RIGHT
ALL RIGHT. [ CLEARS THROAT YEAH, THAT WASN'T GOOD BITE.
READY? >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THERE'S A LITTLE BREEZE >> LITTLE BREEZE
>> Jimmy: YEAH HERE WE GO ONE, TWO, THREE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE CHAMP
RIGHT THERE. TREVOR NOAH! "THE DAILY SHOW WITH
TREVOR NOAH" RETURNS WITH NEW EPISODES ON MONDAY TICKETS TO THE "BACK TO
ABNORMAL" TOUR ARE AVAILABLE AT TREVORNOAH.COM WE'RE TALKING TO
BEANIE FELDSTEIN AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A
A TALENTED ACTRESS AND STARTING TONIGHT YOU CAN SEE HER AS MONICA LEWINSKY IN
"IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME STORY" EVERY TUESDAY AT 10:00 P.M. ON FX
PLEASE WELCOME BEANIE FELDSTEIN
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> WOW >> Jimmy: THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A LIVE AUDIENCE.
>> THIS IS SO CRAZY. >> Jimmy: YEAH IT'S WILD, RIGHT
>> OH, MY GOD. WE'RE BACK >> Jimmy: WE'RE BACK
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SO MANY THINGS. BUT FIRST OFF, I WANT TO
CONGRATULATE YOU IT JUST WAS RELEASED THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE LEAD OF
"FUNNY GIRL" ON BROADWAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND I GO, "YES!"
THAT'S PERFECT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S BEEN ON BROADWAY IN 50 YEARS OR
SOMETHING. >> SINCE 1964. IS THAT INSANE
>> Jimmy: WOW. AND, I MEAN, BARBRA STREISAND -- I MEAN, I
KNOW -- AND I WAS LIKE, "THEY COULDN'T THINK OF A BETTER MORE PERFECT PERSON THAN YOU TO CAST
IN IT. I'M SO HAPPY IT'S YOU. AND WHEN I SAID I WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT ON THE SHOW, YOU SENT OVER A PHOTO OF YOU AS A CHILD >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WAS IT HALLOWEEN >> THIS WAS MY THIRD BIRTHDAY PARTY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I ASKED FOR THE THEME TO BE "FUNNY GIRL," AS EVERY
2 1/2-YEAR-OLD DOES. NOT ELMO NOT "THE LITTLE MERMAID.
PLEASE, "FUNNY GIRL" TO BE MY THEME. >> Jimmy: THIS IS YOU AS
FANNY BRICE. [ AUDIENCE AWS ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS IS HAPPENING?
CAN YOU BELIEVE LIFE RIGHT NOW >> I FEEL LIKE I COULD TEACH A A CLASS IN MANIFESTING, BUT I
DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID. [ LAUGHTER ] I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO TEACH.
>> Jimmy: SERIOUSLY. I MENA, I JUST THINK IT'S SO FULL CIRCLE AND SO COOL.
I SAW YOU IN "HELLO, DOLLY," BY THE WAY, YOU WERE PHENOMENAL IN THAT, AND I THINK YOU'RE GOING
TO ROCK THIS ONE DID YOU ALSO DO MUSICALS AS A KID?
>> I ALWAYS DID MUSICALS AS A KID. I WAS OBSESSED
>> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF KID WERE YOU? WERE YOU A RULE BREAKER?
WERE YOU A GOOD KID? >> NO. I'M A STRICT RULE FOLLOWER NOW
BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, I DON'T WANT TO SAY I WAS A BULLY BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS REALLY
HORRIFIC, AND THAT'S THE LAST THING I WOULD WANT TO BE BUT I'M THE THIRD KID, AND I
WAS, LET'S SAY, LIKE OVER THE YOUNG KIDS RIGHT?
I WAS LIKE, "COME ON." I WANT TO BE WITH THE ADULTS I WANT TO BE WITH THE
TEENAGERS. I COULDN'T FIND MY CROWD IN PRESCHOOL.
SO I USED TO CARPOOL - >> Jimmy: PRESCHOOL. >> -- I USED CARPOOL WITH THIS
GIRL, KATIE, WHO IS LOVELY AND WONDERFUL. BUT WHEN WE WERE KIDS, SHE USED
TO CRY EVERY SINGLE MORNING THAT HER MOM WOULD LEAVE AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT AFTER A
A WHILE, JIMMY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND I WENT UP TO HER, AND I
GRABBED HER LIKE WHERE YOUR TIE IS AND I PULLED HER TO MY FACE,
AND I SAID, "KATIE, THE MOMMIES LEAVE AND THE MOMMIES COME BACK
WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" AND I THREW HER TO THE GROUND.
AND THE TEACHERS CALLED MY MOM, AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WE SHOULDN'T BE LAUGHING, BUT IT
WAS SO FUNNY." >> Jimmy: "MOMMIES DROP YOU OFF, AND THE MOMMIES PICK YOU
UP OKAY HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
>> "HOW IS IT NOT GETTING IN THAT SHE WILL COME BACK? I PROMISE YOU.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. >> SO I WAS SUCH A LITTLE MEANIE, BUT THEN I GREW INTO
BEANIE AND IT WAS ALL GOOD. >> Jimmy: BEANIE, I HAVE TO
TALK ABOUT YOU PLAYING MONICA LEWINSKY. "IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME
STORY. EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT I DON'T KNOW
YOU'RE ON EVERY COMMERCIAL, ON EVERY CHANNEL. AND IT'S AMAZING
I'VE ONLY SEEN THE FIRST EPISODE, BUT MAN YOU GOT ME RIGHT AFTER THE
BEGINNING. I GO -- I JUST FEEL FOR YOU AND I GO, "I LIVED THROUGH THAT AT
THE TIME NOT HAVING THESE EMOTIONS." >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND I'M WATCHING THIS GIRL JUST KIND OF SCARED AND IN TROUBLE.
AND LIKE, "WHAT'S GOING ON?" AND, NOW, MONICA LEWINSKY IS ACTUALLY PRODUCING THE SHOW AS
WELL >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: SO YOU GOT TO MEET
HER, AND TALK TO HER >> I DID IT'S BEEN AN INCREDIBLY MOVING
EXPERIENCE, JIMMY. I MEAN, I WAS IN LONDON WHEN RYAN MURPHY CALLED ME.
AND HE -- I ANSWERED THIS AMERICAN NUMBER I DON'T KNOW AND I'M LIKE, "HELLO."
HE'S LIKE, "BEANIE, IT'S RYAN MURPHY. AND I WAS LIKE -- MY BUTT FELL
OFF, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS LIKE, "DO YOU WANT
TO PLAY MONICA LEWINSKY IN THE THIRD INSTALLMENT OF "AMERICAN CRIME STORY, AND DO YOU WANT TO
BE A PRODUCER? AND IT WAS THE MOST EMPOWERING MOMENT
IT WAS SUCH A MASSIVE DEAL AND IT'S HER REAL LIFE AND SO WE FELT THAT SHE SHOULD
BE PART OF TELLING HER STORY BECAUSE IN THE '90s, SHE WAS ACTIVELY SILENCED BY THE OFFICE
OF INDEPENDENT COUNCIL BECAUSE OF HER IMMUNITY DEAL SHE WAS NOT PERMITTED TO SPEAK
FOR HERSELF, AND SHE WAS LITERALLY SILENCED SO PEOPLE THINK THEY UNDERSTAND
HER STORY, AND THE STORIES OF PAULA JONES AND LINDA TRIPP, BUT THEY DON'T
AND WE'RE HOPING TO REALLY PEEL BACK THE CURTAIN AND SHOW YOU WHAT WAS REALLY HAPPENING AT
THAT TIME. >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S BEANIE FELDSTEIN AS MONICA LEWINSKY, IN
"IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME STORY. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
A KNOCKOUT I JUST ASSUMED HE'D BE DATING
SOME BIG D.C. PLAYER [ SIGH ] >> WHAT?
>> I'M NOT DATING. >> WHY NOT >> I'M KIND OF IN SOMETHING.
>> AND YET YOU FEEL LONELY >> YES, AFFIRMATIVE. >> WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD.
TELL ME ABOUT HIM. >> IT'S -- IT'S JUST -- HE'S UNAVAILABLE.
>> SOMEONE LONG DISTANCE SOMEONE FROM WORK? SOMEONE IMPORTANT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: BEANIE FELDSTEIN, "IMPEACHMENT: AMERICAN CRIME
STORY" AIRS TUESDAYS AT 10:00 P.M. ON FX WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM GORILLAZ FEATURING AJ TRACEY. STICK AROUND
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING
"JIMMY JIMMY" FEATURING AJ TRACEY FROM THEIR NEW EP "MEANWHILE," HERE'S GORILLAZ
* * JIMMY JIMMY
THERE'S PRESSURE ON YO A LIFE AIN'T FEELIN' HOW IT USED TO *
* JIMMY JIMMY NO NEED TO BE SA WHEN THEY PLAY YOUR SONG
WE'LL GET ALONG * * I BEEN SEARCHIN LOOKIN' FO
A PERMANENT REASON * * OUT OF SYNC WITH THE SEASONS
NOT SURE WHA I BELIEVE IN * * AND A BURDE
WHY IS BEIN' LOVED SO APPEALIN' CAN'T CONFORM I'M ALONE *
* WE'RE ALL JUS LOST WITHOUT MEANIN' JUST A BOY FROM THE WEST
I'M BORN AND BRED * * WE COULDA BEEN RICH WAS POOR INSTEAD
MY EVENINGS ARE BLUE ALL MY MORNINGS RED * * I HAD TO MAKE
SCORES FROM GENT I SALUTE ALL MY LOCAL FIENDS THEY'RE SMILIN' *
* LOCKED IN A SMOKER'S DREA KEPT AN ACE LIKE A POKER TEAM
JUST A TEEN SELLIN' * * COKE TO FIEND I TOOK REMED
YOUNG ONES I LOV GOT THE MONEY * * I GOT STUCK
INSIDE OF MY MIN QUICK SOLUTIONS WA ALL I COULD FIND *
* I WAS EARNIN' BUT LOSIN' MY TIME PORTOBELLO
I'M SIPPIN' ON WINE * * WITH A BEAUTIFUL NOTTIN HILL MOTHER OF FIV
MENTAL MUSCL THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE * * THAT'S WHY I DRINK WHIT
RUM ON THE MANCHESTER DRIV JIMMY JIMM NOW YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL *
* AND THE LIF YOU'RE LIVIN IS A DEAD-END ROAD
JIMMY JIMMY * * NO NEED TO BE SAD WHEN THEY PLAY YOUR SONG
WE'LL GET ALON JIMMY JIMMY * * LEFT ELECTRIC
AND HEADED TO SOHO NOW I'M IN THE BOX I HAD WAY TOO MUCH YAK *
* HATE THE FRON SO I SAT IN THE BACK WITH A GIRL FROM IRA
AND THE PEACHIEST BACK * * LOVE ME A SPLIF BUT I GOTTA KEEP IT A STAC
THE FEMALES AROUND ME ARE CRACK * * GOT ME WIRE
I AIN'T COMIN' BAC TO REALITY I BLEED I OUT IN THE TRACK *
* DID SOME THINGS THA I SWEAR I WON'T TELL LIKE WHO DO I CALL
GOT REDEMPTION FROM HELL * * LOVE AND HATE ARE LIKE KENAN AND KEL
I BROKE UP MY KI NOW MY FRIENDS IN THE CELL * * LIFE IS FOR LIVIN',
I LOVE ME SOME SHILLINGS BUT GOD WILLIN PEOPLE LOVE ME *
* FOR MY SKILLIN' WENT FROM SITTIN' IN GOL WITH THEM BILLIONS
TO BILLBOARDS ON WINNING * * THANK GOD NOW I'M CHILLIN'
JIMMY, JIMMY THIS PRESSURE * * JIMMY JIMMY
JIMMY JIMM THIS PRESSURE ON YOU A LIFE AIN'T FEELIN' *
* HOW IT USED T JIMMY JIMM NO NEED TO BE SA
WHEN THEY PLAY YOUR SONG * * WE'LL GET ALONG JIMMY JIMM
JIMMY JIMMY * * JIMMY JIMMY JIMMY JIMMY *
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW
NIGHT. PETE DAVIDSON AND MEREDITH HAGNER WILL BE HERE
AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM BABY KEEM IN STUDIO. OUR THANKS TO TREVOR NOAH,
BEANIE FELDSTEIN, GORILLAZ, AJ TRACEY, AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY