>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - BARBRA STREISAND
MARLON WAYANS, MUSICAL GUEST SNOH AALEGRA AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1498 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW!
THAT WAS A CROWD RIGHT THERE WELCOME, EVERYBODY PLEASE ENJOY YOURSELF.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE HERE. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
WELL GUYS, IT WAS A BIG DAY HERE IN NEW YORK AS ANDREW CUOMO ANNOUNCED THAT
HE'S RESIGNING AS GOVERNOR BUT DURING HIS REMARKS HE SAID IT WAS BEST THAT HE STEP ASIDE
THEN EVERY WOMAN IN THE ROOM TOOK TWO STEPS ASIDE [ LAUGHTER ]
DURING HIS ANNOUNCEMENT, CUOMO SAID THAT HE'S STEPPING DOWN IN 14 DAYS.
I'M SORRY, BUT IS THIS REALLY A TWO-WEEK NOTICE TYPE OF SITUATION?
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH FOR CUOMO. WITH A TRACK RECORD LIKE THIS,
HIS ONLY FUTURE IS EITHER PRESIDENT OR SUPREME COURT JUSTICE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ] CUOMO'S REPLACEMENT WILL BE
LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR KATHY HOCHUL AND THIS IS --
[ CHEERS ] YEAH THIS IS STRANGE.
RIGHT AFTER SHE WAS ANNOUNCED AS NEW YORK'S NEXT GOVERNOR, CNN OFFERED A PRIMETIME SHOW TO
HER SISTER [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT A DAY
THE NEWS DEFINITELY CAN'T GET ANY WORSE FOR POWERFUL GUYS NAMED ANDREW
>> PRINCE ANDREW FACING A NEW LAWSUIT FILED BY
JEFFREY EPSTEIN ACCUSER VIRGINIA ROBERTS GUFRAY. >> Jimmy: OKAY, MAYBE IT CAN
GET WORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] TODAY THE QUEEN CALLED HARRY
AND MEGHAN AND WAS LIKE, "CAN I CRASH WITH YOU FOR A WHILE?" [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT'S BEEN SUCH A TOUGH YEAR. THE QUEEN NOW ANSWERS THE PHONE LIKE, "OH, GOOD LORD, WHAT
NOW? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHEN HIS LAWYER SAID THAT HE'LL
NEVER GET ANOTHER JOB AGAIN, PRINCE ANDREW WAS LIKE, "ANOTHER WHAT?
[ LAUGHTER ] JOB? HOW ABOUT WE SHIFT GEARS TO
SOME POSITIVE NEWS, HUH? TODAY, THE SENATE PASSED PRESIDENT BIDEN'S $1.2 TRILLION
INFRASTRUCTURE BILL WITH BIPARTISAN SUPPORT THAT'S -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S GOOD NEWS THAT'S POSITIVE.
THAT'S RIGHT, A TRILLION DOLLARS TO FIX OUR ROADS, BRIDGES, AND AIRPORTS.
SO AFTER THEY FINISH LaGUARDIA THAT WILL LEAVE US WITH ABOUT 40 BUCKS
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S AMAZING WE CAN PASS A $1 TRILLION INFRASTRUCTURE BILL
YET WE CAN'T FIND THE NEW HOST FOR "JEOPARDY! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SPEAKING OF CRAZY THINGS, FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS IS THREATENING TO WITHHOLD PAY
FROM ANY SCHOOL OFFICIALS WHO REQUIRE MASKS. [ AUDIENCE OOHS
I'M NERVOUS ABOUT DeSANTIS RIGHT NOW PEOPLE IN FLORIDA ARE LIKE, "WHEN CAN CUOMO START?
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING THAT'S -- THAT's NOT GOOD, YOU
KNOW AS EMPLOYERS AROUND THE COUNTRY URGE THEIR WORKERS TO GET
VACCINATED, THE OWNER OF AN EYEWEAR STORE RAN INTO A A STRANGE CONCERN FROM ONE
EMPLOYEE WATCH THIS
SAYS HE CAN'T CONVINCE ALL OF HIS EMPLOYEES TO BE VACCINATED ONE EMPLOYEE SAID SHE WAS
CONCERNED BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT A VACCINE HAD CAUSED THE CHARACTERS IN THE FILM "I AM
LEGEND" TO TURN INTO ZOMBIES [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SO I'M GUESSING THE
REQUIREMENTS TO GET A JOB AT THAT STORE ARE NOT THAT DEMANDING.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, VACCINE OR NOT, YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP THAT WOMAN
FROM COMING INTO THE OFFICE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS.
LAST NIGHT WAS THE FINAL EPISODE OF "THE BACHELORETTE." WE LOVE THAT SHOW.
YEAH [ APPLAUSE ] AND ONE OF THE BIG MOMENTS FROM
THE EPISODE WAS WHEN THE FINAL CONTESTANT BLAKE MET KATIE'S AUNT LINDSAY
TACK A LOOK AT HOW THEIR CONVERSATION WENT.
ON THIS SEASON AFTER YOU FLUNKED OUT OF THE LAST ONE? >> YEAH, FLUNKED
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH I'VE BEEN DUMPED TWICE
THERE'S TWO BACHELORETTES THAT SHOWED UP. ONE LEFT -
>> AND NEITHER WANTED YOU? >> GUESS NOT >> LIKE, YOU ULTIMATELY MEAN
NOTHING. LIKE, HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT, LIKE, YOU BETTER BE SECURE
AS [ BLEEP ] COMING INTO OUR FAMILY BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY,
YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE WE WANT YOU HERE NOT BECAUSE WE NEED YOU HERE
[ AUDIENCE OOHS >> Jimmy: IT'S NICE WHEN SOMEONE WELCOMES YOU INTO THE
FAMILY BY QUOTING JOE PESCI IN "GOODFELLAS. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT, THE SEASON FINALE OF "THE BACHELORETTE" WAS LAST NIGHT, AND KATIE AND BLAKE ARE
OFFICIALLY ENGAGED YOU KNOW THAT SHOW CAN GET PRETTY EMOTIONAL, SO I THOUGHT
WE COULD HELP. HERE'S A CLIP FROM THE EPISODE RE-VOICED WITH THE LEAST
EMOTIONAL PERSON WE KNOW, SIRI THIS IS "LET'S GET SIRI-OUS.
* >> LET'S GET SIRI-OUS. >> MY ENTIRE DAY AND EVENING
WITH BLAKE WAS TRULY PERFECT YUM. YUM.
AND THE FACT THAT WE COULD OPEN UP THE WAY WE DID DURING THE DINNER, IT REALLY CHANGED OUR
RELATIONSHIP LAST NIGHT WAS, I THINK, EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED
FOR. ME, TOO. MUA.
[ LAUGHTER ] MUA. MUA.
MUA.
I LOVE YOU MUA. LOVE YOU, TOO.
MUA. BYE. BYE.
MUA, MUA, MUA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
AS I SAID, IT WAS A THREE-HOUR FINALE OF "THE BACHELORETTE," AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TALKING
ABOUT THE "AFTER THE FINAL ROSE" SPECIAL WHEN KATIE -- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
KATIE CONFRONTED HER EX, GREG. YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, BECAUSE
HERE TO RE-ENACT THIS MOMENT WITH ACTUAL LINES FROM THE SHOW ARE TARIQ AND QUESTLOVE.
GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: THANKS, JIMMY.
TONIGHT I'LL BE PLAYING KATIE, WHO IS FINALLY ABOUT TO ACCUSE HER EX GREG OF LYING ABOUT HIS
INTENTIONS >> Questlove: AND I'LL BE PLAYING GREG WHO IS ABOUT TO
EXPERIENCE KATIE'S FULL WRATH. >> Jimmy: GREAT. WHENEVER YOU GUYS ARE READY.
* >> Tariq: YOU'RE SAYING I'M NOT VALIDATING YOU ENOUGH, BUT IT'S
LIKE, YOU GOT A FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE. YOU GOT A FIRST ONE-ON-ONE
THE SECOND ONE-ON-ONE, EVERY SINGLE GROUP DATE. I FEEL LIKE YOU WERE NEVER
READY FOR AN ENGAGEMENT. >> Questlove: I'M HONESTLY SO CONFUSED AS TO WHY YOU WOULD
THINK THAT UM, I WOULDN'T -- WOW! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SAY GOOD-BYE [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
BECAUSE THAT WAS A TIME I NEEDED -- I NEEDED YOU THE MOST
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] AND YOU RAN AWAY
>> Questlove: WELL, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU FOUND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
>> Tariq: OH, ABSOLUTELY [ LAUGHTER ] I AM VERY HAPPY.
BUT THAT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM THE ANGER AND THE WAY YOU TREATED ME
USING ME TO GET THE EXPERIENCE, THE EXPOSURE DARE I SAY, THE ACTING PRACTICE
AT MY EXPENSE. >> Questlove: THE ACTING >> Tariq: I MEAN, IT WAS PRETTY
GOOD UNTIL THE END WHEN YOU KIND OF EFFED IT UP AND RAN AWAY
>> Questlove: LOOK, I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT AS MUCH AS I WISH I WAS, I'M NOT
MERYL STREEP >> Tariq: OH, WE KNOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WOW! OH, MY GOD THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
THAT'S QUESTLOVE AND TARIQ, EVERYONE THAT WAS ACTUALLY UNBELIEVABLE
OH MY -- WOW WOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH, THANK YOU GUYS GOOD TO SEE YOU. QUESTLOVE AND TARIQ, EVERYBODY
YEAH, THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL, GET THIS
I READ THAT DISNEY JUST RELEASED THE PRICES FOR ITS NEW "STAR WARS" GALACTIC STAR
CRUISER HOTEL, AND IT CAN COST YOU UP TO $6,000 FOR A A TWO-NIGHT STAY
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] WHILE OVER AT THE MARRIOTT SIX GRAND WILL GET YOU THE ENTIRE
MARRIOTT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, SIX GRAND.
EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU ASK FOR THE "STAR WARS" HONEYMOON SUITE THEY SAY IT'S BOOKED BY
A BROTHER AND A SISTER [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: COME ON! >> Jimmy: THAT'S - FINALLY, I SAW THAT PEPSI AND
BOSTON BEER ARE TEAMING UP TO CREATE AN ALCOHOLIC MOUNTAIN DEW DRINK CALLED HARD MOUNTAIN
DEW. [ LAUGHTER ] HERE'S A PHOTO
YEAH [ AUDIENCE OHS ] METH IS ACTUALLY A GATEWAY DRUG
TO THAT. [ APPLAUSE ] WHAT'S CRAZY IS THAT HALF OF
AMERICA REFUSES THE VACCINE, BUT WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM PUTTING THAT INTO THEIR BODY
[ LAUGHTER ] CAN WE SEE THE CANS AGAIN? THEY LOOK LIKE WHAT A KID DRAWS
TO SHOW HIS PARENTS ABOUT WHAT HIS NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT [ LAUGHTER ]
HARD MOUNTAIN DEW IS ACTUALLY A LOT HEALTHIER, BECAUSE THE ALCOHOL HELPS KILL WHATEVER IS
IN NORMAL MOUNTAIN DEW [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY!
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT! HER LATEST ALBUM "RELEASE ME 2"
IS AVAILABLE NOW BARBRA STREISAND IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
COME ON. PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE NEW MOVIE "RESPECT," AS WELL AS
HIS UPCOMING HBO MAX STAND-UP SPECIAL. HE IS FUNNY AND HE CAN ALSO
ACT. I LOVE THIS GUY. MARLON WAYANS IS JOINING US IN
STUDIO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE GOT MUSIC FROM
SNOH AALEGRA [ APPLAUSE ] SNOH AALEGRA
GUYS, DO YOU EVER SEE A PHOTO IN THE NEWS AND THINK THAT HEADLINE COULD BE MUCH BETTER?
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. IT'S TIME FOR "NEWS AND IMPROVED."
HERE WE GO
* NEWS AND IMPROVED *
* >> Jimmy: FOR EXAMPLE, CHECK OUT THIS FIRST PHOTO
THE ORIGINAL HEADLINE WAS "BIDEN INTRODUCES NEW LEGISLATION.
THE HEADLINE CAN DEFINITELY BE IMPROVED BECAUSE IF YOU ONLY LOOKED AT THE PHOTO, THE
HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, "MAN CELEBRATES REMEMBERING WAITER'S NAME."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE BRIAN! BRIAN.
>> Steve: POPCORN. >> Jimmy: CHECK OUT THIS NEXT PHOTO HERE
THE ORIGINAL HEADLINE WAS "PRINCE WILLIAM TAKES PART IN POLO MATCH."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IF YOU ONLY LOOK AT THE PHOTO, THE HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN
"WEDDING GUESTS NOT SURE WHAT SNAPPY CASUAL MEANS, JUST WINGS IT."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT HEADLINE WAS "KIM JONG-UN CONGRATULATES STATE ARTISTS.
THE HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN, "TEAM TAKES SOUVENIR PICTURE DESPITE NOT ESCAPING THE ROOM.
[ APPLAUSE ] WE'LL LET YOU HAVE THE PHOTO, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT
>> Steve: YOU DIDN'T MAKE ANY OF IT. >> Jimmy: UP NEXT, THIS
HEADLINE SAYS "PRINCE CHARLES ATTENDS CHARITY CYCLING EVENT. HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN
"NETFLIX RELEASES PREVIEW FOR NEW SEASON OF 'STRANGER THINGS.'" [ LAUGHTER AND
APPLAUSE ] WHAT HAPPENS THIS SEASON HOLY MOLY, WHAT IS THAT?
[ APPLAUSE ] AND FINALLY, THIS HEADLINE WAS "NORWAY WINS HURDLES GOLD
MEDAL. HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN "MAN GETTING HOME FROM EUROPE
REALIZES PHONE WAS ROAMING THE ENTIRE TIME. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "NEWS AND IMPROVED." STICK AROUND
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "TONIGHT SHOW PODCASTS," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. NOW -- YOU KNOW I LOVE
PODCASTS >> Steve: OH, YOU LOVE THEM. >> Jimmy: I DO
>> Steve: YOU LOVE THEM. >> Jimmy: I LIKE MIKE BIRBIGLIA'S "WORKING IT
OUT. >> Steve: YEP. >> Jimmy: I LISTEN TO THAT
I LOVE "THE DAILY. >> Steve: YEP. >> Jimmy: I LOVE THE -
>> Steve: YOU KNOW THAT RAZ -- GUY RAZ'S. >> Jimmy: I DO
YEAH, THEY'RE A GREAT WAY TO PASS THE TIME ON YOUR WAY TO WORK
GOING FOR A WALK WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING. BUT THE OTHER DAY I WAS
SCROLLING THROUGH MY PODCAST APP. >> Steve: MM-HMM
>> Jimmy: I HAVE AN APP THAT'S ALL PODCASTS DO YOU HAVE AN APP
>> Steve: YEAH, IT'S CALLED "PODCAST." [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT YOU WERE SCROLLING THROUGH -- >> Jimmy: I WAS SCROLLING
THROUGH -- >> Steve: WHILE YOU WERE TAKING A WALK
>> Jimmy: I WAS TAKING A WALK. AND I'M SCROLLING. >> Steve: SURE
>> Jimmy: DOING MULTITASKING >> Steve: YEAH, YOU DO IT ALL OF THE TIME.
>> Jimmy: BUT I NOTICED THERE'S A LOT OF OBSCURE PODCASTS THAT I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF
BEFORE >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH
SO I THOUGHT WE COULD MAYBE CHECK OUT A FEW OF THEM TONIGHT.
IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW PODCASTS." HERE WE GO
* TONIGHT SHOW PODCASTS * >> Jimmy: NOW, THIS FIRST --
>> Steve: OH, YOU'RE GOING TO YOU LISTEN TO THEM >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU WHEN -- >> Steve: YOU'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO THE PODCAST.
OKAY, NEVERMIND. >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST PODCAST. OH, IT'S IN HERE
>> Steve: OH, THERE YOU GO >> Jimmy: MY FIRST PODCAST IS CALLED "VIN DIESEL LISTS ALL OF
THE BANDS AT WOODSTOCK." >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: THAT'S A PODCAST
IT'S WHERE VIN DIESEL. >> Steve: SURE >> Jimmy: WELL, HE LISTS ALL OF
THE BANDS THAT WERE -- >> Steve: AT WOODSTOCK [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S CHECK IT OUT LISTEN TO THIS
>> THE WHO, GRATEFUL DEAD, JIMMY HENDRIX, SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE
SPEAKING OF FAMILY, THERE'S NO BETTER FAMILY THAN FAMILY. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU SHOULD GO TO WOODSTOCK WITH YOUR FAMILY. JUST ONE BIG 400,000 PERSON
FAMILY, BECAUSE WOODSTOCK IS FAMILY THEN AFTERWARDS YOU GO TO
CHILI'S BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE THERE YOU'RE FAMILY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T KNOW HE'S A A GIANT MUSIC FAN. >> Steve: THAT'S THE WHOLE
PODCAST? >> Jimmy: YEAH THAT'S THE WHOLE THING
YEAH THIS NEXT ONE IS A PODCAST ADAPTATION OF "HOT ONES.
I LOVE "HOT ONES." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: OH, WOW.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, SEAN EVANS >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: HE EATS SPICY CHICKEN
WINGS WITH CELEBRITIES >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW
IT'S GOING TO TRANSLATE SINCE IT'S SO VISUAL >> Steve: RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: BUT IT'S REALLY BIG. AND IT'S NUMBER FOUR ON THE PODCAST CHART.
>> Steve: WOW. ON YOUR PODCAST CHART. >> Jimmy: YEAH, ON MY -- YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] ON APP >> Steve: YEAH, ON YOUR APP.
>> Jimmy: YUP. >> Steve: JIMMY'S PODCAST APP. >> Jimmy: NO, I HAVE NOTHING TO
DO WITH THE APP. I'M NOT SELLING MY APP >> Steve: BUT IF YOU WERE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT I'M NOT. SO, ANYWAY, I'M JUST SAYING, THIS IS -- I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S
GOING TO TRANSLATE BUT, ANYWAYS, IT'S NUMBER FOUR >> Steve: NUMBER FOUR.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, ON THE APP >> Steve: LET'S HEAR IT. >> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LISTEN.
>> HEY, THIS IS SEAN EVANS AND WELCOME TO "THE HOT ONES
PODCAST. MY GUEST TODAY IS MARIAH CAREY FIRST UP WE'RE GOING TO BE
TRYING A WING COATED IN REAPER HABANERO HOT SAUCE HERE WE GO
[ EATING WINGS ] >> OW, OW, OW, WAIT. >> OUCH!
THAT'S HOT [ SCREAMING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: THAT WAS MARIAH CAREY >> Jimmy: YOU GOT AVOID THE HOT
ONE. >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: BY THE END THEY GET
HOTTER >> Steve: THAT'S HOT >> Jimmy: THIS ONE HERE IS
CALLED - >> Steve: IS THAT NUMBER TWO OR NUMBER FOUR?
WAS THAT NUMBER FOUR >> Jimmy: IT WILL ALWAYS BE NUMBER TWO IN MY BOOK.
[ LAUGHTER ] APPRECIATE IT. I HAVE TO TAKE THESE OFF
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOISE CANCELING, SO I CAN'T HEAR YOU >> Steve: WHAT'S THAT?
>> Jimmy: YOU WEARING THEM LL; >> Steve: I'M WEARING THEM, BUT THEIR IN MY EAR.
>> Jimmy: CAN'T HEAR ME EITHER >> Steve: HOLD ON. THEY'RE VERY TINY.
THERE WE GO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE HERE.
THIS IS AN INTERESTING ONE HERE THIS ONE IS CALLED "ACCENT
MASTER CLASS." >> Steve: "ACCENT MASTER CLASS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, EACH WEEK IT HELPS LISTENERS MASTER A NEW ACCENT
>> Steve: OH, GREAT. >> Jimmy: LET'S CHECK IT OUT
>> TODAY'S ACCENT IS BOSTON. LET'S TRY THE LINE I TOLD YOU. >> YOU'RE DAUGHTER'S BEEN
ARRESTED FOR ROBBERY >> VERY GOOD [ LAUGHTER ]
LET'S TRY A TOUGHER ONE. >> MY FATHER HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM
FOXBOROUGH STADIUM [ LAUGHTER ] >> EXCELLENT
LET'S TRY ONE MORE >> ME, TOMMY, AND SQUEEZE CHEESE JUST GAVE THE FINGER TO
THE PEOPLE ON THOSE DOCK BOATS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT HELPS TO MASTER
THE ACCENT >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: SQUEEZE CHEESE
>> Steve: SQUEEZE CHEESE TOMMY. >> Jimmy: THIS LAST PODCAST IS
CALLED - >> Steve: ARE YOU GOING TO PLUG IT IN?
OH, WIRELESS [ LAUGHTER ] IS THAT A BIG ANTENNA?
IT'S LIKE WIRELESS >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT -- IT'S BLUETOOTH
>> Steve: YOU HAVE A BLUETOOTH >> Jimmy: IT'S -- NO THIS -- THE WIRE MAKES IT --
>> Steve: OH, MAKES IT BLUETOOTH. >> Jimmy: I CAN HEAR IT
ANYWHERE >> Steve: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH IT'S LIKE A TAMAGOTCHI, OR
WHATEVER, YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH RIGHT, NOW I CAN HEAR ANY
PODCAST. >> Steve: SO, IT'S LIKE A RADAR?
>> Jimmy: YOU HOOK THIS UP TO THE APP. >> Steve: RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YOU GET ANY PODCAST YOU WANT [ LAUGHTER ]
AND IF THIS LAST PODCAST -- THIS LAST PODCAST. >> Steve: ISN'T THAT THE LAST
PODCAST. >> Jimmy: SCROLL DOWN. >> Steve: OH, THERE YOU GO
SCROLL DOWN. SCROLL DOWN. SCROLL DOWN.
WOW. 3,285. WOW!
THAT'S THE LAST ONE. >> Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE HERE, THIS ONE'S OBSCURE
THIS ONE'S CALLED -- IT'S CALLED "KNOCK KNOCK WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN."
>> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: IT'S A PODCAST WHERE PUTIN TELLS KNOCK, KNOCK JOKES
TO MAKE HIMSELF SEEM LIKE A FRIENDLIER PERSON. >> Steve: OH, OKAY
>> Jimmy: WHO CAN RELATE TO -- I DON'T KNOW LET'S TAKE A LISTEN.
>> KNOCK KNOCK >> WHO'S THAT?
>> JUJITS. >> JUJITS WHO? >> I PREFER KARATE
[ LAUGHTER ] >> KNOCK KNOCK >> WHO'S THERE? >> PICK ACH.
>> PICK ACH WHO? >> I CHOOSE YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> KNOCK KNOCK >> WHO'S THERE >> WILL.
>> WILL WHO? >> WILL YOU TAP BIDEN'S PHONE? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M NOT KIDDING
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S ALL WE HAVE FOR "TONIGHT SHOW PODCASTS."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BARBRA STREISAND COME ON BACK
* * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS
A GLOBAL ICON WHO HAS WON EVERY AWARD IMAGINABLE SHE'S THE ONLY ARTIST EVER TO
HAVE A NUMBER ONE ALBUM IN SIX CONSECUTIVE DECADES. HER LATEST ALBUM, "RELEASE
ME 2," IS AVAILABLE NOW. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME BARBRA STREISAND
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YES.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. COME ON. WHAT
WE LOVE YOU. OH, THANK YOU. OH, I KNOW
I'M SORRY. I'M TOO EXCITED. UM, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
COMING BACK TO THE SHOW. >> OH, IT'S MY PLEASURE. 'CAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS FUN TO
TALK TO. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, YOU TOO WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.
FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY, 25 YEARS TOGETHER
WITH YOUR HUSBAND JAMES BROLIN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOT TOO SHABBY
>> YEAH, NOT TO SHABBY IS RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, DID YOU KNOW
RIGHT OFF THE BAT THAT HE WAS THE ONE? >> RIGHT OFF THE BAT, WELL, HE
TOLD ME HE KNEW -- YOU KNOW, WE WERE SET UP AS A BLIND DATE. AND I WAS SO SHY THAT I CAME
INTO THE HOUSE, AND I WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO BE WITH THE CHILDREN, YOU KNOW, PLAY WITH
THEM UNTIL I HAD TO SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE. AND AS I, YOU KNOW, I EXPECTED
A GUY WITH A BROWN BEARD AND A A BROWN HAIR -- WAVY HAIR, LIKE, A MOUNTAIN MAN
AND I SAW A GUY HAD ALL HIS HAIR CUT OFF NO BEARD
AND I WALKED BY HIM, I PUT MY HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SAID, "WHO [ BLEEP ] UP YOUR HAIR?
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, ANYWAY -- NO, IT TOOK ME A A FEW HOURS -- NO A FEW DAYS
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S FANTASTIC UH, THEN, OBVIOUSLY, YOU GUYS
HIT IT OFF 25 YEARS AND HERE'S A LITTLE
GRANDDAUGHTER HERE THAT'S VERY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR NEW ALBUM LOOK AT THIS
COME ON. [ AUDIENCE AWES LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY.
>> OH MY GOD, WELL, HER MOM GAVE HER THE ALBUM TO LOOK AT GAMMAW
YOU KNOW THE OLDER ONE WHO IS NOT EVEN 3 CALLS ME GAMMAW.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU CHOOSE GAMMAW, OR DID YOU JUST END UP A GAMMAW
BECAUSE MY MOTHER WHEN I HAD OUR FIRST CHILD, I SAID -- SHE GOES, "THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE
GOING TO CALL ME GRANDMA." [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S RIGHT.
MOST WOMEN SAY, "I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE A GRANDMA 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M TOO OLD,"
BUT I LOVE IT. I THINK IT'S A GREAT GIFT. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'VE LIVED A
A LONG LIFE. I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS, BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN A GAMMAW
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S RIGHT
[ APPLAUSE ] WHAT A BEAUTIFUL KID "RELEASE ME 2" IS UNRELEASED
SONGS THROUGHOUT YOUR WHOLE CAREER I FREAKED OUT.
I LISTENED TO IT TODAY BY THE WAY, I LOVE THE PACKAGING ON THIS.
>> OH, GOOD. >> Jimmy: YOU ALWAYS DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
ALWAYS SOMETHING COOL. SO LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS THE WHOLE KIND OF WAY
IT WORKS EVERY DIFFERENT PLACE YOU CAN PICK UP THE ALBUM -- THIS IS
LIKE TARGET. YOU CAN GET THIS ONE THIS ONE YOU GET ONLINE AT YOUR
WEBSITE -- THAT'S THIS ONE THEN THIS ONE -- THIS IS FOR INDEPENDENT RECORD STORES.
>> THAT'S RIGHT. >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS -- I MEAN, BARNES AND NOBLE
THIS IS GENIUS >> WELL BECAUSE I LOVE THINGS THAT ARE OFF COLOR IN MORE WAYS
THAN ONE SO THESE ARE NOT PRIMARY COLORS
THEY'RE COLORS THAT I LOVE AND, YOU KNOW, IT TOOK A LONG TIME
I MEAN, LOOKING THROUGH A HUNDRED PANTONE SWATCHES, YOU KNOW
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT I THINK IT CAME OUT SWELL.
>> Jimmy: IT CAME OUT BETTER THAN SWELL IN FACT, I EVEN GOT A LITTLE
SWAG WITH MY ALBUM I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN SEE HERE
CAN WE ZOOM IN >> OH, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.
OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, THAT'S SO CUTE
THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: AND THEN NOT ONLY -- WELL, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE
ALBUM, BUT NOT ONLY DID YOU COME UP WITH THE VINYLS, BUT ALSO ON CASSETTE
WHICH I LOVE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] NO ONE DOES THIS
WHY CASSETTE >> YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I STILL HAVE MY OLD
SONY CASSETTE PLAYER THAT I'VE HAD FOR, I DON'T KNOW, 30, 40 YEARS
>> Jimmy: YES. >> AND I LOVE TO RECORD ON IT BECAUSE IT'S SO SIMPLE
PLAY, FORWARD, BACKWARD, THAT'S IT THE NEW STUFF IS SO
COMPLICATED. AND I DON'T THINK IT'S BETTER SOUND.
THE OLD SOUND, THE ANALOG SOUND WAS SO GREAT, AND I STILL HAVE IT
>> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT I WAS LISTENING TODAY BECAUSE I
WANTED -- I KNEW I HAD YOU ON THE SHOW TONIGHT THESE ARE SOME SONGS FROM 1971
YOU HAVE A SONG FROM 1968. I DO LOVE PERSONALLY "RAINBOW CONNECTION" WITH
KERMIT THE FROG. YOU DO A DUET WITH KERMIT THE FROG.
TWO LEGENDS. I MEAN, COME ON. BUT I LOVE THAT.
>> THAT'S WHY MY A AND R SAID, "YOU RECORD WITH JUDY GARLAND AND FRANK SINATRA AND ALL THESE
PEOPLE AND MODERN PEOPLE TOO, JAMIE FOXX, JOHN MAYER," HE
SAID, "BUT YOU NEVER SANG WITH A FROG." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YES. THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT >> WHO IS AGELESS.
HE SAID, "AGELESS AND EVERGREEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO IT DIDN'T COME FROM MY "WET" ALBUM AND YET, YOU KNOW, IT WAS TOO -- THE "WET" ALBUM WAS MORE
ROMANTIC SONGS, MORE SEXY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND IT WASN'T RIGHT FOR
KERMIT UNTIL NOW [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, NOW IT'S RIGHT
FOR KERMIT, I AGREE. I ALSO LIKE -- >> I SANG THIS SONG 'CAUSE IT
WAS MY SON'S FAVORITE SONG WHEN HE SAW "THE MUPPET MOVIE." "THE MUPPET MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: OH YEAH. THE ONE "IF ONLY YOU WERE MINE" WITH BARRY GIBB, I LISTENED TO
THIS LIKE FOUR TIMES TODAY BECAUSE I LIKE THAT THERE'S BANTER IN THERE THAT IS JUST
NOT PRE-WRITTEN. IT'S JUST YOU AND BARRY TOTALLY TALKING.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE -- THIS GUY SOUNDS LIKE "SINGING IN THE
RAIN" A LITTLE BIT AND THEN HE'S GOES - IT'S FASCINATING
>> BRUTALLY AUTHENTIC AND THAT'S WHAT WE RECORDED. >> Jimmy: AND IT SAYS RIGHT
HERE, "STREISAND," THAT'S UP IN THE TOP CORNER HERE. DID YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU
JUST HAVE TO GO BY STREISAND DID YOU EVER THINK OF A STAGE NAME EVER?
DID ANYONE EVER TRY TO CONVINCE YOU? >> OH, YEAH.
YEAH PEOPLE WANTED ME TO BE CALLED "BARBARA SANDS."
I THOUGHT, "WHAT NO." STREISAND IS MY NAME
I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE IT. AND I THOUGHT FOR MY FIRST RECORD THEY WANTED ME TO CALL
IT "SWEET AND SAUCY STREISAND. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NEITHER TOO SWEET OR TOO
SAUCY. [ LAUGHTER ] THEY SAW THE GIRL ON TV.
MY FIRST SHOW, I REMEMBER PEOPLE WERE ASKING WHERE'S MY ALBUM.
SO I SAID, "LET'S NAME IT WHAT IT IS. "THE BARBRA STREISAND ALBUM.
THAT'S WHAT IT IS. YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: YEAH AND THERE YOU
GO I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE -- PROJECTS YOU HAVE
COMING IN THE WORKS. MORE WITH BARBRA STREISAND WHEN WE COME BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT
SHOW." STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH BARBRA STREISAND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"RELEASE ME," RELEASE ME 2" IS OUT NOW. BARBRA, THERE'S A RUMOR THAT I
WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT BECAUSE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS WHEN YOU -- YOU'VE BEEN ON THE SHOW
FOR YEARS AND -- AND -- AND YOU SAID, "OH, I MIGHT BE WORKING ON A MEMOIR.
AND EVERYONE CLAPPED AND THEY GO, "OH, THAT'S AMAZING. THEN YOU CAME OUT, LIKE, TWO
YEARS LATER. I GO -- WE TALKED, AND YOU GO, "AND THEN I'M ALSO WORKING ON
A MEMOIR AND EVERYONE CLAPPED. >> WHAT? >> Jimmy: WERE YOU LYING TO ME
OR ARE YOU WORKING ON THIS MEMOIR [ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, NO, NO. ACTUALLY, I STARTED WRITING THINGS DOWN IN LONGHAND IN MY
JOURNALS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, THESE KIND OF THINGS I HAVE, LIKE, 20 OF THEM
WHICH HELPED ME WRITE THE BOOK, BUT I WAS ALL WAYS BUSY DOING SOMETHING ELSE SO I WOULD WRITE
IN THE JOURNALS AND THEN GO ON TO SOMETHING ELSE. ACTUALLY, IN 1984,
JACKIE KENNEDY CAME TO ME AND SAID, "I'D LOVE TO BE THE EDITOR OF YOUR BOOK AT DOUBLE
DAY," AND WE HAD TEA SHE WAS JUST SO LOVELY AND SHE -- BUT I WASN'T READY TO DO
THAT THEN BUT I DID START WRITING IN MY JOURNALS AND IN 1999, I REALLY STARTED WRITING
AND THEN OTHER THINGS AND CONCERTS AND MOVIES OR WHATEVER
AND THEN IN 2008, I REALLY STARTED WRITING. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YES. >> WHAT YEAR IS IT NOW >> Jimmy: NOW IT'S 2
2021, BARBRA >> 2021. >> Jimmy: YEAH
WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> CULTURALLY, THE PANDEMIC HELPED ME FINISH THE BOOK.
I'M ALMOST FINISHED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THIS IS -- THIS IS
WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME. YOU ALL MOST FINISHED -- HOW ALMOST
>> I'VE WRITTEN 824 PAGES. AND I STILL HAVE THE LITTLE EPILOGUE TO DO
AND, YOU KNOW, INTERESTING MY FAVORITE NUMBER BECAUSE I WAS BORN ON THE 24th IS 24
THIS -- THIS BOOK IS NOW 824 PAGES. >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> AND IT'S 411,811, SOMETHING LIKE THAT, WHICH IF YOU ADD THE NUMBERS TOGETHER, THEY COME UP
TO 24. >> Jimmy: WOW. >> SO IT MUST BE THE RIGHT TIME
TO RELEASE IT. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, SO IT'S -- WOW.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT, SO THAT'S BASICALLY SAYING IT'S COMING OUT
HOW ABOUT A -- >> IT'S COMING OUT -- YEAH, NEXT YEAR.
>> Jimmy: OKAY >> SOON. >> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT
A BARBRA STREISAND BIOPIC? WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN THAT
OR IS -- >> WHOA. NO, NO, NO, NO
THAT'S FOR WHEN YOU'RE GONE, SOMEBODY WANTS TO PLAY YOU, I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT [ LAUGHTER ] I'M ALIVE.
I'M STILL HERE >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW, BUT
EVERYONE IS DOING IT NOW BECAUSE IT'S A THING PEOPLE ARE DOING IT --
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S SO I WON'T DO IT NOW. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, PERFECT
YEAH >> SOMEBODY IS DOING IT, NOT ME
>> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT, LIKE, A A DOCUMENTARY OR -- ABOUT THIS >> YES, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
WORKING ON A DOCUMENTARY I MEAN, OVER THE YEARS WE HAVE AT LEAST -- OH, WE HAVE ABOUT
SIX HOURS ALL READY BUT I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO FINISH IT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I UNDERSTAND
>> I DON'T WATCH MY MOVIES AND I DON'T WATCH MY TELEVISION SPECIALS AND I DON'T LISTEN TO
MY RECORDS >> Jimmy: YOU SHOULD DO ALL OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL
FANTASTIC. YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I LOVE YOU THE ALBUM IS OUT NOW, "RELEASE ME 2.
BARBRA, I HOPE TO GET TO SEE YOU IN-PERSON NEXT TIME, PLEASE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BUDDY
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MARLON WAYANS, EVERYBODY STICK AROUND
I LOVE YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN AND A TALENTED ACTOR WHO YOU CAN
SEE IN THE NEW MOVIE, "RESPECT," WHICH IS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY AND HIS STAND-UP
SPECIAL, "YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS" IS ON HBO MAX AUGUST 19th. EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME
MARLON WAYANS.
>> Jimmy: THAT FEELS GOOD,
RIGHT? >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: THAT'S FOR YOU
YOU LOOK SHARP >> THEY THINK I'M DAMON. THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
>> Jimmy: NO, THEY DON'T [ LAUGHTER ] >> I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THE
SECOND GUEST TO BARBRA STREISAND DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS HOPING
SHE WAS GOING TO BE HERE >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH, BECAUSE I OWE HER AN
APOLOGY BECAUSE I MET HER ONE TIME AND I DON'T KNOW IF SHE
REMEMBERS, IT WAS ON THE LOT IT WAS A COUPLE YEARS AGO. SHE WAS ON A NBC LOT AND I WAS
DOING MARLON AND SHE WAS THERE SHE WAS IN A GOLF CART AND SHE GOT OUT AND I SAID -- EVERYBODY
WAS LIKE, "BARBRA STREISAND. BARBRA STREISAND." AND I SCREAMED OUT, "I LOVE
YOU, YENTL!" [ LAUGHTER ] AND SHE TOOK OFF IN THAT GOLF
CART SO FAST >> Jimmy: THAT'S A YENTL, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU ABSOLUTELY COULD BECAUSE SHE'S -- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR STAND-UP SPECIAL, BUT I
ALSO WANT TO TALK ABOUT "RESPECT." >> YES
>> Jimmy: LET'S START WITH THE STAND-UP SPECIAL >> YES
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE ALWAYS -- NO, YOU ACTUALLY -- YOU HAVEN'T ALL WAYS DONE STAND-UP
>> NO, I DID STAND-UP -- I STARTED -- SEE, I DIDN'T ALL WAYS DO STAND-UP 'CAUSE -- I
COME FROM A FAMILY FULL OF COMEDIANS. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH
>> ALL MY BROTHERS - >> Jimmy: DAMON. >> -- LIKE, ALL OF THEM.
ALL -- THEY ALL COMEDIANS AND I WAS LIKE, "I WANT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT," SO I
WANTED TO BE THE ACTOR OF THE FAMILY AND I WAS LIKE, "YOU SILLY NEGROES.
YOU GO AHEAD WITH THE ALL -- BUFFOONERY." [ LAUGHTER ]
"I'M GONNA BE A SERIOUS DRAMATIC ACTOR." >> Jimmy: YEAH, "HAND ME MY
SKULL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> SO I DIDN'T DO STAND-UP FOR
YEARS. I STUDIED DRAMA. AND BECAUSE I FELT LIKE WHEN
YOU DO STAND-UP, RIGHT YOU PULL FROM YOUR LIFE AND I GOT SIX COMEDIANS BEFORE ME AND
WE ALL GREW UP IN THE SAME HOUSE. I AIN'T GOT [ BLEEP ] TO TALK
ABOUT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THEY TOOK IT ALL
>> THEY GOT ALL THE STORIES. >> Jimmy: THEY TOOK ALL THE COMEDY
>> SO I -- I -- I WAS LIKE, "I'M NOT GONNA DO STAND-UP." AND THEN, YOU KNOW, I -- THIS
WAS LIKE -- I CAUGHT THE BUG I HAVE TO DO A MOVIE FOR MY BROTHER CALLED,
"BEHIND THE SMILE," AND THEN I HAD TO AUDITION FOR THE PRIOR MOVIE AND I WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M GOING TO START DOING STAND-UP."
AND I STARTED DOING STAND-UP 12 YEARS AGO AND I JUST HAVEN'T STOPPED.
>> Jimmy: I'M GLAD -- I'M GLAD YOU KEPT GOING THIS IS GREAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> AND YOU KNOW WHAT THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT MADE ME QUIT STAND-UP LIKE, I WAS DOING IT, RIGHT,
WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 18, 19, AND THEN ONE DAY, CHRIS ROCK HECKLED ME
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WOW. >> AND I QUIT STAND-UP FOR
20 YEARS [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS ON STAGE AND YOU KNOW HOW
YOU TRYIN' TO FIND IT, RIGHT AND I WAS ON STAGE AND I WAS LIKE, "UH, SO WHAT ELSE -- WHAT
ELSE IS UP?" HE GOES, "HOW ABOUT SOME JOKES?
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHO IT WAS ALL I KEPT HEARING WAS HIS EVIL
LAUGH, "HA, HA, HA, HA." [ LAUGHTER ] "HOW ABOUT BEING FUNNY
HOW ABOUT THAT?" AND I SWEAR I QUIT STAND-UP FOR, LIKE, 20 YEARS AND WHAT'S
FUNNY IS NOW I'M, LIKE, THE BABY OF ALL -- I GREW UP WITH EDDIE, CHRIS
ALL OF THEM ARE LIKE MY BIG BROTHERS AND YOU'RE LIKE, "HEY, IT'S ME" AND WITH MY OLDER
BROTHER. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT SEE, I'M THE BABY,
RIGHT? OF THE BUNCH SO NOW, I'M A PAY THEM BACK
'CAUSE THEY ALL GETTING OLD. [ LAUGHTER ] WENT AND BOUGHT -- WENT AND
BOUGHT 10 YEARS, 12 YEARS FROM THAT ONE CHRIS IS OLD AND SENILE.
AND HE ON STAGE TRYING TO FIND IT I'M LIKE, "HOW ABOUT SOME JOKES
YOU BLACK-SKINNY BASTARD?" >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU >> "WHERE THE JOKES? LOOK IN YOUR PAMPER.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT'S CALLED "YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS."
>> YES >> Jimmy: IT'S ON HBO MAX -- >> YES
>> Jimmy: -- AUGUST 19th CONGRATS ON THAT >> THANK YOU
>> Jimmy: BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT "RESPECT." 'CAUSE THIS IS A DRAMATIC PART
THIS IS -- YOU'RE NOT FUNNY IN THIS >> NO, NOT AT ALL.
>> Jimmy: NO >> NO. >> Jimmy: SO I JUST WANTED TO
SET PEOPLE UP FOR WHEN THEY SEE THIS, BUT THIS IS ABOUT ARETHA FRANKLIN.
>> YEAH, WHO IS, YOU KNOW, LIKE, THE QUEEN OF SOUL BUT A GODDESS IN MY HOUSEHOLD.
MY WHOLE FAMILY LOVE ARETHA FRANKLIN. LIKE, MY MOMMA, MY SISTERS
MY SISTER, ELVIRA, WAS BY THE "SPARKLE" SOUNDTRACK WAS ON. AND SHE WAS BY THE RADIO AND
SHE'S -- * GIVING HIM SOMETHIN HE COULD FEEL *
AND SHE WAS 15-YEARS-OLD AND MY MOMMA SAID, "WHAT THE HELL YOU KNOW WHAT HE WANTS TO
FEEL." [ LAUGHTER ] AND MY SISTER GOT QUIET, RIGHT
AND THEN SIX MONTHS LATER, SHE SHOWED UP PREGNANT WITH MY NEPHEW SO SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS
TALKING ABOUT. [ AUDIENCE OOHS [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SHE ACTUALLY DID. WOULDN'T YOU GET TO IMPROVISE
WHEN YOU DO THESE -- >> NO, YOU DON'T IMPROVISE WHEN YOU DO DRAMA
YOU HAVE TO BE REALLY SKILLED TO DO THAT FOREST ACTUALLY IMPROVISED IN
A SCENE AND -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: FOREST
>> FOREST WHITAKER WAS IN A MOVIE. FANTASTIC ACTOR.
WE'RE IN THE SCENE AND IT WAS A SCENE WHERE I COME TO THE HOUSE, ARETHA WAS GONNA LEAVE
C.L. FOR TED, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> FOREST PLAYS THE FATHER
I PLAY THE ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND AND HER HUSBAND. SO I'M ABOUT TO TAKE HER FROM
HIM AND HE GOES, "YOU AIN'T GOING TO DO THAT IN MY HOUSE." AND THE MAN PULLED OUT A GUN
AND IT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT AND YOU -- [ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU DON'T LISTEN -- IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD THIS, WE WAS LIKE, "OH, MAN
GHOST DOG WENT POSTAL. OH, MY GOD." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: GHOST DOG WENT POSTAL >> I'M SERIOUS
HE WAS LIKE, "I'LL ASK IN THE SKY AND LOST HIS DAMN MIND." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT IS AN INTERESTING STORY AND A TRICKY STORY - >> YES
>> Jimmy: -- ARETHA'S STORY. BUT MAN, YOU'RE GREAT IN IT AND I LOVE THAT YOU DO -- DO YOU
BOTH OUT AT THE SAME TIME. YOU HAVE THE COMEDY AND A DRAMA IN THIS.
A TON TO DO. >> I WANT TO DO IT ALL, MAN. I WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS
THAT, YOU KNOW, CAN DO IT ALL, LIKE, YOU KNOW, TOM HANKS AND ROBIN WILLIAMS, EDDIE MURPHY
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN STUDYING 30 YEARS TO TRY AND JUST BE MY BEST ME AND WHAT DO YOU DO WITH
A GUY THAT CAN DO EVERYTHING HE DOES EVERYTHING, SO - >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO, BUD.
>> -- I JUST LOVE IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: PLEASE KEEP DOING IT
COME BACK, MAN WE LOVE YA I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
FROM THE MOVIE HERE'S MARLON WAYANS IN "RESPECT."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> ICED TEA.
>> JUST ICED TEA >> PLACE A LITTLE BOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, YOU LOOK LIKE A A BOURBON GIRL HOW LONG YOU IN TOWN FOR
>> A WEEK. THEN I RETURN TO TENNESSEE >> WELL, I WON'T WASTE ANY
TIME I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT >> I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE ME OUT
>> HOW ABOUT TONIGHT >> REE, COME AND HELP ME SET THIS TAPE.
>> YES, TO TONIGHT >> OKAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: MARLON WAYANS, EVERYBODY. "RESPECT" IS IN THEATERS THIS
FRIDAY AND HIS STAND UP "YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS" IS ON HBO MAX AUGUST 19th.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM SNOH AALEGRA
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. MARLON WAYANS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "LOST YOU" FROM HER ALBUM "TEMPORARY HIGHS
IN THE VIOLET SKIES," HERE'S SNOH AALEGRA
* *
LOVE COULD CHANGE YA THEN I WOKE UP TO A STRANGER *
* AFTER ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THAT I KNE YOU AND
WAS NO DEBATING * * NOW IT'S UP FOR CONVERSATION
TELL ME WAS IT ALL A LIE I'M CONFUSED * * BUT THEN YOU SA
WHAT I WANNA HEA CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S GON' GET ME HERE *
* EVERY TIME I SA THAT I'M THROUGH AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW
IT AIN'T RIGHT * * SAID I WASN'T GON' SPEND THE NIGHT
HERE I A RIGHT BACK WITH YOU * * ALTHOUGH I'VE LOST YO
I I'LL ALWAYS WANT YOU CAUSE YOU TAKE ME HIGH * * SEE I'LL ALWAYS WANT YO
BUT I KNOW I'VE LOST YOU * * * I WON'T HOL
THE PAST AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU HOLD ME I FORGET TOO *
* I CAN NEVER DRAW THE LINE WITH YOU WISH I KNEW WHAT
YOU WERE THINKING * * BUT THAT PROBABLY WOULDN'T CHANG
SO DEEP IN I'M STILL FALLING FOR YOU * * BUT THEN YOU SA
WHAT I WANNA HEA 'CAUSE YOU KNO IT'S GON' GET ME HERE *
* EVERY TIME I SA THAT I'M THROUGH AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW
IT AIN'T RIGHT * * SAID I WASN'T GON' SPEND THE NIGHT
HERE I A RIGHT BACK WITH YOU * * ALTHOUGH I'VE LOST YO
I I'LL ALWAYS WANT YOU CAUSE YOU TAKE ME HIGH * * SEE I'LL ALWAYS WANT YO
BUT I KNOW I'VE LOST YOU * * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT.
BILLY CRYSTAL WILL BE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OLYMPIAN GOLD MEDAL WINNER
KATIE LEDECKY WILL BE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND AUTHOR JEAN HANFF KORELITZ
WILL BE HERE AND WE'LL HAVE STAND-UP FROM JACKIE FABULOUS.
MY THANKS TO BARBRA STREISAND, MARLON WAYANS, SNOH AALEGRA AND THE ROOTS FROM PHILADELPHIA,
PENNSYLVANIA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *