>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN
ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS --
DWAYNE JOHNSON. JOSHUA JACKSON.
MUSICAL GUEST SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA FEATURING
TY DOLLA SIGN AND 070 SHAKE. AND THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** **
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: WELCOME, EVERYBODY.
PLEASE, THANK YOU! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] LIVE CROWD.
THAT'S FANTASTIC. LOOK AT YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT. WELCOME, EVERYBODY.
PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT. ENJOY YOURSELVES.
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WELL GUYS, THIS WEEKEND,
PRESIDENT BIDEN WENT AFTER BIG SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS LIKE
FACEBOOK FOR NOT DOING ENOUGH TO STOP THE SPREAD OF COVID
MISINFORMATION. YEAH.
OUR COUNTRY HAS GONE FROM "THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS
FEAR ITSELF" TO "PLEASE DON'T TAKE MEDICAL ADVICE FROM A
MEME." [ LAUGHTER ]
SERIOUSLY, YOU KNOW THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH FACEBOOK WHEN YOU
CAN FIND MORE HONEST INFORMATION ON TINDER.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, BIDEN DOESN'T WANT
FACEBOOK TO PREVENT YOUNG PEOPLE FROM GETTING VACCINATED.
EVERYONE UNDER 30 HEARD AND WAS LIKE, "THAT IS SO CUTE, BUT
LITERALLY NONE OF US USE FACEBOOK.
BUT THAT IS SO --" [ LAUGHTER ]
AW. YEP, BIDEN AND HIS
ADMINISTRATION ARE BUSY. IN FACT, THEY'RE NOW REVERSING A
TRUMP-ERA RULE THAT MADE SHOWERHEADS HAVE MORE WATER
FLOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IN RESPONSE, TRUMP SPENT THE DAY INCITING A RIOT IN THE PLUMBING
SECTION OF A HOME DEPOT. [ LAUGHTER ]
SPEAKING OF TRUMP, CHECK OUT WHAT THE AUTHORS OF A NEW BOOK
SAID ABOUT THE RECENT INTERVIEW WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENT.
>> AT ONE POINT IN THE TWO-AND-A-HALF HOUR SIT DOWN
WITH THE BOOK'S AUTHORS AT MAR-A-LAGO, MR. TRUMP SUGGESTED
THAT IF GEORGE WASHINGTON CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND CHOSE
ABRAHAM LINCOLN AS HIS VICE PRESIDENT, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
VERY HARD, HE SAYS, FOR THEM TO BEAT HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IF GEORGE WASHINGTON
CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND CHOOSE LINCOLN AS HIS RUNNING
MATE? DOES TRUMP THINK ABE LINCOLN IS
STILL ALIVE? [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL GUYS, THE OLYMPICS ARE ALMOST HERE AND THE ATHLETES IN
THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE ARE SLEEPING ON BEDS MADE OF CARDBOARD.
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] AND SOME PEOPLE THINK THEY'RE
MEANT TO DISCOURAGE ANY INTIMACY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S NICE, YOU FINALLY REACH
YOUR OLYMPIC DREAMS AND HAVE TO SLEEP ON AN AMAZON BOX.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, A BED DESIGNED TO
DISCOURAGE SEX, OR AS IT'S ALSO KNOWN, AN AIR MATTRESS.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
BECAUSE OF COVID, ORGANIZERS WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERY ATHLETE
IS AS CELIBATE AS A BADMINTON PLAYER.
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, WE'RE GOING TO GET LETTERS
FROM THE BADMINTON PEOPLE. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, EVERYBODY'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT THESE BEDS, SO A GYMNAST
FROM IRELAND PUT THEM TO THE TEST IN A VIRAL VIDEO THAT HE
POSTED. IT'S GREAT.
CHECK THIS OUT. >> THE BEDS ARE MEANT TO BE
ANTI-SEX. THEY'RE MADE OUT OF CARDBOARD,
YES, BUT APPARENTLY THEY'RE MEANT TO BREAK AT ANY SUDDEN
MOVEMENTS. IT'S FAKE.
FAKE NEWS! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT WORKS FINE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THE BODY OF A
70-POUND IRISH GYMNAST. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE COMPLETELY SAFE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE SEX LIKE THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: JUMPIN'. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HERE'S SOME GOOD ADVICE.
YESTERDAY DURING HIS WEEKLY ADDRESS, POPE FRANCIS URGED
PEOPLE TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE A BREAK AND TURN OFF THEIR PHONES.
THEN THE POPE ENDED HIS ADDRESS BY SAYING, "THAT'S MY SERMON.
BE SURE TO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THE POPE SAID TO LOOK
CLOSELY AT THE LAST SUPPER AND NOTICE HOW EVERYONE LEFT THEIR
PHONES IN A PILE AT THE END OF THE TABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ] JESUS WAS LIKE, "PETER, MATTHEW,
GIVE UP THE PHONE PLEASE. WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS
AGAIN, HENCE THE TITLE." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: COME ON. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT KIND OF SUPPER DO YOU THINK THIS IS?
SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, I READ THAT PARAMOUNT PLUS HAS ORDERED
A "GREASE" PREQUEL SERIES. YEAH.
THE MOVIE TAKES PLACE BEFORE THE ORIGINAL "GREASE," WHICH MEANS
THE ACTORS WILL ONLY BE ABOUT 48.
[ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN HIGH
SCHOOL. I GOT THESE HIGH SCHOOL
PROBLEMS. I THINK I'M GOING THROUGH
PUBERTY, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ]
I CAN'T BELIEVE -- LOOK AT THIS NEW ISSUE OF AARP MAGAZINE,
IT'S AMAZING. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GUYS GET YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS?
THE PARTY IS GOING TO BE ON POINT.
[ LAUGHTER ] I LOVE BEING IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. >> Steve: I'VE FALLEN AND I
CAN'T GET UP. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH, WERTHER'S
ORIGINALS EVERYWHERE. IT'S AMAZING, RIGHT?
[ LAUGHTER ] HEY, GET THIS.
OVER THE WEEKEND THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE ONLINE ABOUT THE
LYRICS TO BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S SONG, "THUNDER ROAD."
SOME FANS THINK HE SAYS, "MARY'S DRESS SWAYS."
BUT THE REST SAY IT'S, "MARY'S DRESS WAVES."
LET'S HEAR IT. * THE SCREEN DOOR SLAMS
MARY'S DRESS WAVES * >> Jimmy: YEAH, INTERESTING.
NOT REALLY SURE, BUT WE ACTUALLY HAVE SOMEONE ON THE PHONE RIGHT
NOW WHO CAN CLEAR IT UP. BRUCE, ARE YOU THERE?
>> YEAH. HEY, JIMMY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE. NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE
HEARD ABOUT THIS, BUT PEOPLE ONLINE WERE HAVING TROUBLE
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SONG. >> OH YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
[ INDISCERNIBLE ] >> Jimmy: RIGHT, RIGHT.
WELL, I IMAGINE A LOT OF YOUR FANS HAVE BEEN REACHING OUT AND
ASKING IF IT'S SWAYS OR WAVES. [ INDISCERNIBLE ]
>> SWAYS OR WAVES. [ INDISCERNIBLE ]
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
AGREEING TO COME ON THE SHOW AND CLEAR THINGS UP ONCE AND FOR
ALL. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
GO FOR IT. >> TWO, THREE.
* SCREEN DOOR SLAMS MARY'S DRESS WAAAY *
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLEARING IT UP.
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, EVERYBODY. [ INDISCERNIBLE ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: IT'S SWAYS.
>> Steve: IS IT? >> Jimmy: SURE.
[ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS.
I SAW THAT GROCERY STORES ARE NOW SELLING FROZEN
CHUCK E. CHEESE PIZZAS. [ AUDIENCE GROANS ]
AND THIS IS FUN. THE PIZZA IS ALSO BEING USED TO
MAKE THE CARDBOARD BEDS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE.
[ LAUGHTER ] ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
>> Steve: RECYCLE. >> Jimmy: I READ ABOUT A MAN IN
FLORIDA WHO WAS ARRESTED AFTER CRASHING A STOLEN CAR THROUGH AN
AIRPORT FENCE AND BOARDING A COAST GUARD PLANE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I MEAN, I'M NOT SURPRISED.
IT HAPPENED IN FLORIDA. I BET WE COULD PLUG IN ANY THREE
RANDOM WORDS OR PHRASES AND IT WOULD LINK TO AN ACTUAL FLORIDA
NEWS STORY. LET'S TRY IT.
IT'S TIME FOR "FLORIDA NEWS ROULETTE."
HERE WE GO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** * FLORIDA NEWS ROULETTE
YEAH * >> Jimmy: NOW, HERE'S HOW IT
WORKS. THE COMPUTER WILL GENERATE THREE
RANDOM WORDS AND WE'LL SEE IF THERE'S A FLORIDA NEWS STORY
BASED ON THOSE WORDS. LET'S GET OUR FIRST THREE RIGHT
NOW. [ BEEPING ]
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] CANDLES, BEAR MACE, AND BATH &
BODY WORKS. BEAR MACE?
>> Steve: BEAR MACE. >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN BEAR MACE AND REGULAR MACE?
>> Questlove: ABOUT $3.50. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I'M NOT SURE HOW THOSE COULD MAKE A NEWS STORY, BUT
HEY, IT'S FLORIDA, WHO KNOWS? LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
>> SOUTH FLORIDA, THE SEARCH IS ON TONIGHT FOR A MAN WHO POLICE
SAY USED BEAR MACE TO STEAL CANDLES FROM BATH & BODY WORKS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WOW.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GIVE
IT ANOTHER SPIN HERE. HERE WE GO.
LET'S TRY. [ BEEPING ]
ALLIGATOR, MINIATURE GOLF, COCKTAIL LOUNGE.
I COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE WHAT THIS COULD BE.
LET'S SEE. >> A FLORIDA MAN IS IN JAIL
AFTER POLICE OFFICERS SPOTTED HIM
TRYING TO THROW A LIVE ALLIGATOR ONTO THE ROOF OF A BEACHSIDE
COCKTAIL LOUNGE. POLICE SAY THE 32-YEAR-OLD MAN
TOLD OFFICERS HE STOLE THE GATOR FROM ITS PEN AT A MINIATURE GOLF
COURSE AND WAS, QUOTE, "TEACHING IT A LESSON."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT, MAN. TAUGHT HIM A LESSON.
>> Questlove: THAT'LL SHOW HIM. >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY.
SHOW HIM, MAN. >> Steve: WE'LL SHOW YOU.
>> Jimmy: HE WAS TEACHING THE ALLIGATOR A LESSON.
>> Steve: THE ALLIGATOR WAS RUDE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.
>> Steve: I'M GONNA THROW YOU ON TOP --
>> Tariq: BUT HE WAS TRYING. >> Jimmy: YEAH, TRYING.
ALLIGATOR DIDN'T LEARN HIS LESSON.
LET'S TRY ONE MORE TIME. HERE WE GO.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT? [ BEEPING ]
EVERGLADES, EMERGENCY LANDING, TACO.
>> Steve: TACO? >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE
WHAT HAPPENS. >> A COUPLE OF GUYS HAD TO MAKE
AN EMERGENCY LANDING IN THEIR PLANE IN COLLIER COUNTY LAST
WEEK. THEY SURVIVED AND TOLD OFFICIALS
THEY WERE FLYING ACROSS THE EVERGLADES ON A TACO RUN.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: NEEDED SOME TACOS.
AND FINALLY, I SAW THAT THERE IS A SWISS MOUNTAIN FOR SALE ON
EBAY FOR $235,000. SOUNDS LIKE A BARGAIN BUT THE
SHIPPING COSTS ARE A FORTUNE. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW.
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
>> Jimmy: IT IS MONDAY.
WE ARE EXCITED TO BE BACK. WE HAVE A BIG WEEK OF SHOWS
AHEAD. BE SURE TO TUNE IN ON FRIDAY
NIGHT RIGHT AFTER THE OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONIES.
WE HAVE A BRAND NEW SHOW WITH MATT DAMON.
HE'S GOING TO BE HERE IN STUDIO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
JASON SUDEIKIS IS GOING TO BE HERE IN STUDIO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND CAMILA CABELLO IS GONNA BE
HERE IN STUDIO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
PLUS, WE'RE DOING A FUN NEW GAME WITH BTS.
THIS FRIDAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS FRIDAY NIGHT. SET YOUR DVRs.
THAT'S A BIG SHOW. BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE
FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE PRODUCED AND STARS IN THE NEW
MOVIE "JUNGLE CRUISE." DWAYNE JOHNSON IS HERE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] BIG MOVIE.
>> Steve: HE'S THE GREATEST. >> Jimmy: COME ON.
ALSO JOINING US IN STUDIO FROM THE NEW VERY BUZZED ABOUT SERIES
"DR. DEATH" ON PEACOCK, JOSHUA JACKSON IS HERE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND THEY JUST REUNITED WITH
THEIR FIRST NEW MUSIC IN MORE THAN EIGHT YEARS.
WE'VE GOT A PERFORMANCE FROM SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA FEATURING
TY DOLLA SIGN AND 070 SHAKE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S A BIG DEAL. SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA, I LOVE
THEM. GUYS, IT IS TIME TO ANNOUNCE THE
WINNER OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW'S FALLON SUMMER READS."
HERE WE GO! **
* SUMMER READS FALLON SUMMER READS *
** >> Jimmy: NOW, HERE ARE THE
BOOKS RIGHT HERE. VOTING HAS ENDED.
THE POLLS ARE CLOSED. >> Steve: THAT'S IT.
>> Jimmy: DON'T EVEN TRY TO VOTE.
SO, WE KNOW WHO THE WINNER IS. >> Steve: YOU ALREADY KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WE ALREADY KNOW, YEAH.
WE'RE ANNOUNCING THE WINNER THIS EVENING, RIGHT NOW.
WE GOT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF VOTES.
THIS IS OUR BIGGEST VOTING OF ANY YEAR, SO FAR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] BIG DEAL.
LOVE THAT. SO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO
VOTED AND THANK YOU TO ALL OF OUR AUTHORS FOR GETTING YOUR
ENTHUSIASM, GETTING INVOLVED IN THE CONTEST AND CAMPAIGNING FOR
YOUR BOOKS. THESE ARE ALL FANTASTIC BOOKS.
[ APPLAUSE ] THEY'RE ALL GREAT.
PICK THEM ALL UP, IF YOU CAN. WHY NOT?
BUT THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE WINNER HERE.
IT'S A CLOSE RACE. YEAH, JUST A FEW PERCENTAGE
POINTS SEPARATED THESE BOOKS. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA START
BREAKING IT DOWN FOR YOU. [ DRUM ROLL ]
>> Steve: OH. OH SNAP.
>> Jimmy: OH! >> Steve: OOH!
>> Jimmy: OH! "THE PLOT" IS THE BOOK.
** CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THAT IS THIS YEAR'S "FALLON
SUMMER READ." "THE PLOT" BY
JEAN HANFF KORELITZ! [ APPLAUSE ]
SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK.
ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE NOT READ ANY OF THESE BOOKS.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THAT IS HOW OUR BOOK CLUB
WORKS. SO, WHAT I WANT TO DO NOW, THIS
IS OUR BOOK. I'M GOING TO READ THIS BOOK AND
I WANT US ALL TO READ IT TOGETHER AND THEN FOLLOW US ON
INSTAGRAM AND TWITTER OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS.
I'LL BE CHECKING IN, LETTING YOU KNOW WHERE I'M AT IN THE BOOK.
WHAT I THINK SO FAR. AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS
THINK AS YOU'RE READING TOO. SO USE THE HASHTAG "FALLON
SUMMER READS" AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT TOGETHER.
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED AND CONGRATULATIONS TO "THE
PLOT" AND JEAN HANFF KORELITZ. WE'LL SEE YOU ON THE SHOW VERY
SOON. THANK YOU AND CONGRATULATIONS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "SCREEN GRABS," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: BIG SHOW TONIGHT.
DWAYNE JOHNSON, JOSHUA JACKSON, SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S A SHOW RIGHT THERE. PLUS, IT'S TIME RIGHT NOW FOR
SCREEN GRABS. HERE WE GO!
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: NOW, THESE ARE SOME WEIRD FUNNY THINGS THAT YOU GUYS
FOUND ON THE INTERNET OR TOOK A PICTURE OF IN REAL LIFE AND THEN
SENT IT IN TO US. THE FIRST SCREENGRAB WAS SENT IN
BY DAVID CADDISH IN WEST CHESAPEAKE, VIRGINIA.
HE WAS LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT TO RENT.
LET'S SEE WHAT HE FOUND. [ LAUGHTER ]
ONE BED, ONE BATH, $100. NOT BAD.
>> Steve: WHERE'S THE BATHROOM? >> Jimmy: THIS NEXT SCREEN GRAB
WAS SENT IN BY MADDIE IN MADISON, WISCONSIN.
>> Steve: OH, MADDIE FROM -- >> Jimmy: SHE WAS TRYING TO FIND
SOME CHILDREN'S BOOKS ON AMAZON. LET'S SEE WHAT SHE FOUND.
"ALL KINDS OF FAMILIES." THERE YOU GO, LOOKS GOOD.
LET'S LOOK AT THE PRICE HERE. BOARD BOOK 8.99, PAPERBACK,
$877.95. [ LAUGHTER ]
MAKE SURE -- >> Steve: BARGAIN, MAN.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, MAN. "ALL KINDS OF FAMILIES."
YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO GET THAT FOR BOARD BOOK, PROBABLY.
NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY TED SCHUMACHER IN DETROIT.
HE WAS SHOPPING FOR SOME TUPPERWARE ONLINE.
SPOTTED A QUESTION THAT SOMEONE ASKED THE SELLERS FOR
TUPPERWARE. SAID, "COULD YOU FIT
12 STRAWBERRIES IN THIS CONTAINER?"
AND THEY ANSWERED, "NO, SORRY, ONLY 11 1/2 STRAWBERRIES FIT IN
THESE CONTAINERS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
DON'T WORRY ABOUT BUYING IT YET. >> Steve: DON'T WORRY, I
WON'T -- >> Jimmy: NO, SORRY.
12 DOESN'T FIT. >> Steve: SO CLOSE.
YOU SURE, MAN? >> Jimmy: WHAT IF I --
>> Steve: AH, NO. >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S -- NOT GOING
TO HAPPEN. >> Steve: WHAT IF I SHAVED A
LITTLE BIT OFF OF EVERY ONE? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT IF THEY'RE NOT STRAWBERRIES?
WHAT IF THEY'RE BLUEBERRIES? OUR NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN
BY MICHAEL IRELY IN HEMET, CALIFORNIA.
HE WAS TRYING TO FIND SOME FURNITURE.
HE SPOTTED -- THIS GOOD DEAL. RED LEATHER COUCH FOR $200.
>> Steve: OH! >> Jimmy: YEAH, LOOK AT THIS
THING. FANTASTIC.
>> Steve: YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH. >> Jimmy: THE MIDDLE SEAT IS THE
MOST COMFORTABLE. >> Steve: YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THE MIDDLE SEAT'S MORE COMFORTABLE.
>> Steve: YEAH, WELL, THE SIDE'S VERY FIRM.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, VERY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: "PUT A CHAIR IN THERE."
>> Jimmy: JUST DIG A HOLE -- >> Steve: "WHAT ARE YOU
COMPLAINING ABOUT? >> Jimmy: "IT'S THE SAME SIZE.
YOU KIDDING ME?" >> Steve: "IT FITS PERFECTLY."
>> Jimmy: "HEY, HOW MANY STRAWBERRIES CAN YOU FIT IN THAT
ONE?" [ LAUGHTER ]
NEXT ONE WAS WAS SENT IN BY VALERIE COPE IN MURRIETA,
CALIFORNIA. SHE WAS DOING SOME SHOPPING ON
WALMART'S APP. AND YOU KNOW IT RECOMMENDS A
SUBSTITUTION FOR SOMETHING IF THEY'RE OUT OF STOCK ON
SOMETHING. YOU GET THE SUBSTITUTION?
THIS IS FANTASTIC, I THINK IT WORKS.
"SORRY WE DON'T HAVE ANY CANTALOPES.
YOU WANT THIS KNIFE INSTEAD?" [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: STILLETO? >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT
THING WORKS. YEAH.
NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY REBECCA BRANDON IN WASHINGTON,
D.C. IT'S AN AD SHE SPOTTED FOR A
MEAL PREP COMPANY. >> Steve: OH, GREAT.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW THIS COMPANY SENDS YOU THINGS.
YOU, LIKE, OPEN IT UP AND HEAT IT UP OR WHATEVER AND YOU EAT
IT -- YEAH. ANYWAYS, THEY'RE FEATURING A
BRAND NEW MEAL. LET'S SEE WHAT IT IS.
CRANBERRY MAPLE CHICKEN. THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT --
>> Steve: OH. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
WEIGHT I'VE LOST ON THIS -- DIET?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WILL THAT FIT INSIDE A
TUPPERWARE CONTAINER? >> Jimmy: YES.
[ LAUGHTER ] UNFORTUNATELY, NO.
THIS NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY HERB IN GRANBY, CANADA.
YOU DON'T HEAR HERB AS MUCH ANYMORE.
>> Steve: NO. YOU SHOULD.
>> Jimmy: IT'S A GREAT NAME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
HE WAS DOWNLOADING A SOFTWARE UPDATE AND IT GAVE HIM AN
ESTIMATE OF HOW LONG IT'S GOING TO TAKE.
HERE YOU GO, NOT BAD. 2,050,078,982 HOURS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] "ONCE THAT'S DONE, WE CAN CALL
GRANDMA. WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
THE NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY MICHAEL IN PITTSBURGH.
IT'S AN AD THAT HE SPOTTED WITH A GREAT DEAL.
LET'S SEE WHAT IT WAS. "SUMMER FUN IS ALMOST HERE.
CHOOSE YOUR SAVINGS ON BURIAL SPACES, CRYPTS OR CREMATIONS."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: ALL RIGHT!
>> Jimmy: SUMMER FUN IS ALMOST HERE.
>> Steve: "HEY, HONEY, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET BURRIED?
>> Jimmy: SUMMER -- >> Steve: COME ON!"
[ LAUGHTER ] I HOPE IT'S NOT FOR THE
LITTLE -- >> Jimmy: "SUMMER FUN IS ALMOST
HERE. EVERYBODY, COME ON!
LITTLE DUDE -- CREMATIONS, COME ON!"
>> Steve: "LET'S SEE HOW MANY STRAWBERRIES WILL FIT IN YOUR
GRAVE!" [ LAUGHTER ]
SUMMER FUN. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
WE'RE DOWN TO OUR LAST ONE. IT WAS SENT IN BY JESS IN PERTH,
AUSTRALIA. I LOVE THAT PEOPLE IN
AUSTRALIA -- AROUND THE WORLD WATCH OUR SHOW.
IT'S AWESOME. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
SHE WAS TRYING TO FIND A PLACE TO GET HER BOYS A HAIR CUT.
>> Steve: SURE. >> Jimmy: SPOTTED THIS, "$10,
UNISEX CUTTING. WE CUT KIDS, WE CUT MEN."
LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
LOVE IT, YEAH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR SCREEN GRABS.
IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY SCREEN GRAB, E-MAIL TO US AT
SCREENGRABS@TONIGHTSHOW.COM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WE MIGHT PUT IT ON THE SHOW. STICK AROUND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DWAYNE JOHNSON, EVERYBODY!
COME ON BACK! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT
IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST MOVIE STARS ON THE PLANET.
HE PRODUCED AND STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "JUNGLE CRUISE" WHICH IS
IN THEATERS AND ON DISNEY PLUS WITH PREMIERE ACCESS JULY 30th.
HERE IS DWAYNE JOHNSON. **
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! YES!
>> WOW. WOW.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
YES. CAN YOU FEEL --
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?
>> I CAN FEEL THE LOVE FROM THAT AUDIENCE.
>> Jimmy: YES, YES! >> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
I LOVE YOU GUYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WE'RE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK, BUDDY.
WE HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT FIRST YOU
JUST FINISHED FILMING "BLACK ADAM," AND HERE'S SOME PHOTO OF
YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF FILMING. GOSH, YOU ARE RIPPED IN THIS
THING. [ CHEERS ]
THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE. NOW NO ONE TRAINS HARDER THAN
YOU. >> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: NO ONE TRAINS HARDER THAN YOU.
I FOLLOW YOU ON INSTAGRAM. I SEE ALL THESE THINGS THAT YOU
DO. I GO, "OH MY GOSH."
AND I REMEMBER YOU'VE BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS FOR TWO YEARS.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BUT YOU ALSO DO LIKE
CHEAT MEALS EVERY NOW AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT TRAINING.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS YOUR CHEAT
MEAL FOR THIS WORKOUT? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, I HAD BEEN TRAINING AND PREPARING FOR
"BLACK ADAM" FOR A FEW YEARS NOW, BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WAS
YOU GET ONE SHOT AT CREATING -- HOPEFULLY CREATING SOMETHING
THAT'S DEFINITIVE IN THE WORLD OF SUPERHEROES AND COMIC BOOK
LORE AND MYTHOLOGY. SO I REALLY PUT IN THE WORK ON
THIS ONE, JIMMY. AND AS FAR AS FOR THE CHEAT
MEALS, I AFTER -- BECAUSE THAT ACTUALLY WHAT YOU'RE SEEING WAS
ACTUALLY MY VERY LAST DAY OF SHOOTING "BLACK ADAM."
SO, WE WRAPPED PROBABLY AROUND MIDNIGHT.
AND I WOULD SAY BY 1:30 A.M. I WAS FACE FIRST IN THE BIGGEST
PILE OF PANCAKES YOU COULD IMAGINE.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR PANCAKES.
YOU ALSO LOVE YOUR FRENCH TOAST. I SEE YOU EVERY NOW AND THEN.
YOU'RE LIKE -- FIRST WAS IT -- WAS IT PEANUT BUTTER?
WHAT DO YOU PUT ON THERE? >> DUDE, LET ME TELL YOU NOW
THAT YOU ASKED. [ LAUGHTER ]
I DO BIG, BIG BRIOCHE FRENCH TOAST.
I CALL IT "ROCK TOAST." FOUR INCHES THICK.
WE DO PEANUT BUTTER. I'LL DO SOME BUTTER.
I'LL DO SOME TEREMANA INFUSED SYRUP.
I'LL DO COCONUT CHIPS, WHIPPED CREAM AND I BRING NEW MEANING TO
THE WORD GLUTTONY. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] HOW'S THE FAMILY BY THE WAY?
I KNOW YOU JUST POSTED ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER.
YOUR DAUGHTER'S LOVE -- SHE'S PROBABLY 3 NOW, MAYBE?
>> YES, TIA. >> Jimmy: YOUR DAUGHTER'S LOVE
FOR AQUAMAN. SHE LOVES AQUAMAN.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THERE'S A FUNNY VIDEO OF
YOU -- 'CAUSE I KNOW JASON MOMOA, HE WAS ON OUR SHOW
AND HE SENT A NICE VIDEO TO WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
BUT HERE'S A VIDEO JUST SHOWING HOW MUCH SHE LOVES AQUAMAN.
TAKE A LOOK AT TIA AND DWAYNE. [ UNINTELLIGIBLE ]
>> I SAW WHAT AQUAMAN JUST DID. WHO'S COOLER?
DADDY? >> AQUAMAN.
>> AQUAMAN? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: GOOD TIMING. GOOD TIMING.
[ APPLAUSE ] GREAT TIMING ON HER PART.
SHE DIDN'T LET YOU SAY -- YOU'RE LIKE, "WHO'S COOLER,
DADDY, AQUAMAN?" SHE DIDN'T EVEN LET YOU FINISH.
>> DUDE, SHE JUMPED RIGHT ON THAT, WHICH IS GREAT FOR THE
EGO. BUT I'VE GOT TO SAY THAT, YOU
KNOW, IN THE WORLD OF CELEBRITIES, YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER
KNOW WHO'S NICE AND WHO'S KIND UNTIL YOU MEET THEM.
OR REALLY UNTIL, YOU KNOW, LITTLE CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED.
AND I'VE KNOWN JASON FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW.
I'M VERY PROUD OF HIS CAREER AND ALL THE THINGS THAT HE'S BEEN
DOING. SO, I GOT TO TELL YOU, I CALLED
UP JASON. I SAID, "MAN, I KNOW YOU'RE
BUSY, YOU'RE ON SET. BUT MY DAUGHTER, SPECIFICALLY MY
3-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, SHE ADORES YOU."
SHE THINKS YOU'RE WAY COOLER THAN DADDY AND IT'S HER BIRTHDAY
COMING UP, MAN." AND HE SENT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
BIRTHDAY VIDEO TO TIA AS WELL AS TO JAZZY AND INVITED -- AQUAMAN
THEM TO HAWAII WHERE WE'RE GOING TO SWIM IN THE OCEAN TOGETHER
AND WE'RE GONNA GO ROCK CLIMBING.
HE MADE ALL THESE PROMISES THAT MAKE ME LOOK BAD, JIMMY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OF COURSE THEY WOULD.
EXACTLY. YOU KNOW, I WANT TO ASK MORE
IMPORTANTLY FOR ME, YOU KNOW, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOM.
HOW IS YOUR MOM DOING? 'CAUSE LAST TIME SHE WAS ON THE
SHOW SHE -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS SAW THIS, BUT SHE HAPPENED
TO BE AROUND -- TALKING ABOUT YOUR MOM AND PLAYING UKULELE AND
YOU WERE LIKE, "SHE'S HERE IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER."
[ LAUGHTER ] SHE CAME IN, TOTALLY LIKE
HIJACKED THE INTERVIEW AND PLAYED BEAUTIFUL UKULELE MUSIC.
AND HOW IS SHE DOING? DID FAME GO TO HER HEAD?
IS SHE -- >> WELL, I DON'T -- I DON'T
KNOW. I CAN'T TALK TO HER.
SHE'S A DIVA NOW. YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO GO THROUGH
HER -- I HAVE TO GO THROUGH HER ASSISTANT'S ASSISTANT'S
ASSISTANT TO TALK TO MY MOM. BUT IT WAS CRAZY.
I REMEMBER THAT. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, SHE LOVES
YOU. SHE ADORES YOU, AND SHE THINKS
YOU'RE THE GREATEST THING WALKING GOD'S GREEN EARTH,
JIMMY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND SO WHEN SHE PULLED OUT THAT UKULELE, BOTH YOU AND I HAD NO
IDEA WHERE SHE WAS GOING TO GO. AND SHE STARTS SINGING --
* WE LOVE YOU JIMMY OH, YES IT'S TRUE *
>> Jimmy: YES. >> I WAS LIKE, "WAIT, MOM.
WHAT?" [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S WAS THOSE MOMENTS YOU CAN'T PLAN.
IT WAS THE GREATEST. PLEASE GIVE HER MY LOVE.
PLEASE, BUDDY. >> I WILL.
I WILL. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
TEREMANA, YOUR TEQUILA. [ CHEERS ]
THIS IS THE FASTEST-GROWING SPIRIT BRAND TO DATE.
>> THANK YOU. YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THE FASTEST-GROWING SPIRIT OF ANY TO DATE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOT TOO SHABBY, BUDDY.
>> YEAH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. >> Jimmy: THERE'S A THING CALLED
THE MANA-MOBILE. >> YES.
>> Jimmy: IF IT DOESN'T STOP BY MY HOUSE, WHERE CAN I SEE THIS
THING? AND WHAT IS THIS?
>> DUDE, THAT -- SO THE MANA-MOBILE SERVES TACOS.
IT SERVES SPECIAL RECIPES. IT SERVES TERMANA COCKTAILS.
IT SERVES FRENCH TOAST. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THAT MANA-MOBILE IS GOING COAST TO COAST -- MULTIPLE
MANA-MOBILES ARE GOING COAST TO COAST.
AND WE WANTED TO BRING THE MANA TO THE PEOPLE.
SO THAT MANA-MOBILE WILL BE GOING TO FIRE STATIONS, MILITARY
BASES, COLLEGE CAMPUSES, COMMUNITIES, FOOD FESTIVALS, YOU
NAME IT. MANA-MOBILE IS COMING TO YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, LOOK OUT FOR THE
MANA-MOBILE. YOU'RE GREAT AT WHAT YOU DO,
BUD. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK
ABOUT YOUR MOVIE "JUNGLE CRUISE."
MORE WITH DWAYNE JOHNSON WHEN WE COME BACK.
COME ON BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY. WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH
DWAYNE JOHNSON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HIS NEW MOVIE "JUNGLE CRUISE" IS IN THEATERS AND ON DISNEY PLUS
WITH PREMIERE ACCESS JULY 30th. DWAYNE, JUNGLE CRUISE, IS PRETTY
LEGENDARY AS FAR AS RIDES GO. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: OR ANY DISNEY FAN KNOWS.
I MIGHT HAVE BEEN -- I MIGHT BE WRONG.
WAS IT THE FIRST RIDE YOU DID, OR FIRST ATTRACTION HE DID, OR
NO? >> YES.,
YES, YOU KNOW YOUR HISTORY VERY WELL.
IN 1955 WHEN DISNEYLAND OPENED, JUNGLE CRUISE WAS WALT DISNEY'S
BABY. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> AND HE WANTED TO CREATE A RIDE, AN EXPERIENCE FOR PEOPLE
THAT THEY COULD EXPERIENCE WHAT IT'S LIKE AROUND THE WORLD, ON
THE AMAZON. AND FOR THOSE FAMILIES WHO
WOULDN'T -- WEREN'T ABLE TO TRAVEL THE WORLD.
SO, JUNGLE CRUISE WAS WALT'S BABY.
AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, HERE'S SOME COOL HISTORY.
THE VERY FIRST JUNGLE CRUISE SKIPPER, IN 1955, WHEN THE PARK
OPENED, UNBEKNOWNST TO A LOT OF FANS WHO WENT THAT DAY, WAS
WALT DISNEY HIMSELF. >> Jimmy: NO WAY!
[ AUDIENCE OOHS ] >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WILD. AND THAT'S WHO YOU PLAY IN THE
MOVIE. I MEAN, YOU DON'T PLAY
WALT DISNEY, BUT YOU'RE THE SKIPPER.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
AND HONESTLY I HAD ONE -- I HAD ONE HUMAN BEING IN MIND TO BE MY
CO-STAR, AND THAT WAS ALWAYS EMILY BLUNT.
>> Jimmy: REALLY? YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU GUYS -- I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
THIS, BUT YOU GUYS SPENT, OBVIOUSLY -- SHE'S SUPER FUNNY
AS WELL. >> SHE IS.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW SHE HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR.
YEAH. >> SHE'S SUPER TALENTED.
SHE'S A MULTI-THREAT. AND WE BECAME GREAT FRIENDS.
I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER FAMILY.
JOHN, THEIR KIDS. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WE'RE ALL -- WE'RE ALL ONE BIG OHANA AS WE SAY ON THE
ISLANDS. I CAN'T WAIT FOR EVERYBODY TO
SEE HER IN THE MOVIE BECAUSE SHE TRULY IS THE FEMALE VERSION
OF -- AND THIS IS SAYING A LOT -- BUT SHE TRULY IS THE
FEMALE VERSION OF INDIANA JONES. I'M VERY PROUD OF HER AND HOW
MUCH SHE KICKS ASS IN THIS MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP.
HERE'S DWAYNE JOHNSON AND EMILY BLUNT IN "JUNGLE CRUISE."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. **
>> COME ON. I GOT YOUR PANTS.
TRUST ME. **
HOLD ON! [ SCREAMS ]
** >> FRANK.
FRANK, GET IT. >> HOLD ON.
>> COME ON. >> I GOT IT.
>> FRANK! >> I DON'T GOT IT.
>> FRANK! **
FRANK, GET OFF ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M TRYING TO GET TRACTION. >> THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
>> OH, NO. WAIT.
>> JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. THAT'S WAS A DISASTER.
>> YOU'RE TOO HEAVY. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: COME ON!
THAT'S A MOVIE. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE.
DWAYNE JOHNSON, EVERYBODY. "JUNGLE CRUISE" IS IN THEATERS
AND ON DISNEY PLUS WITH PREMIERE ACCESS JULY 30th.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOSHUA JACKSON.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. >> THANK YOU GUYS, SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING ON, BUD.
>> LOVE YOU, JIMMY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST STARS IN
THE NEW SERIES "DR. DEATH", WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON
PEACOCK. PLEASE WELCOME JOSHUA JACKSON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] * JOSHUA JACKSON
TAKES AWAY YOUR BREATH * * ON THAT TELEVISION
HE IS DR. DEATH * * MY PEGGY LOVES HIM
FROM THE MIGHTY DUCKS * * WHEN IT COMES TO HOCKEY
HE'S GIVEN ZERO PUCKS * >> Jimmy: THAT'S JOSHUA JACKSON
RIGHT THERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, BUDDY.
IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'M INTRODUCING YOU AS A DAD.
>> AS A FATHER, YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE A FATHER,
CONGRATULATIONS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S THE BEST NEWS! >> THANK YOU.
YEAH, IT'S HUGE. IT'S PRETTY EXCELLENT.
>> Jimmy: IS YOUR PHONE JUST ALL PICTURES OF KIDS NOW?
>> OH, FOR GOOD REASON I DON'T HAVE IT ON ME RIGHT NOW OR
ELSE -- >> Jimmy: YOU'D SHOW IT?
>> OR ELSE I WOULD ABSOLUTELY SHOW IT TO YOU 'CAUSE I AM 100%
THAT DAD. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> YEAH, I THINK THERE ARE WHOLE SERVER FARMS DEDICATED TO JUST
PICTURES OF MY BABY NOW. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> LIKE TENS OF -- IT'S AMAZING HOW MANY PICTURES YOU CAN TAKE
OF ONE BABY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHAT -- OH, IT'S
LIKE, WHAT? SUNSETS AND BRUNCHES?
>> OR YEAH, LIKE BREAKFAST. SHE GETS PASTA SAUCE ON HER
FACE, WE NEED 10,000 OF THOSE. >> Jimmy: OH NO.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU SHOWING IT TO
STRANGERS AND EVERYBODY LIKE YOU --
>> CHECKED INTO THE HOTEL LAST NIGHT.
FIRST THING I DID WAS LIKE, "HEY, DID YOU KNOW I HAD A BABY?
HAVE YOU SEEN MY BABY? SHE'S SUPER CUTE."
I KNOW ALL PARENTS THINK THEIR KID IS CUTE, BUT MY KID IS LIKE
REALLY SUPER CUTE. >> Jimmy: YOUR WIFE IS
JODI TURNER SMITH, A VERY TALENTED ACTOR.
SO PLEASE, GIVE HER MY BEST. I SAW THIS ONLINE.
IT MADE ME LAUGH. THIS IS YOUR WIFE ROCKING A
PACEY T-SHIRT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> OH YEAH. NO, THIS POPPED UP, LIKE, EIGHT
OR NINE MONTHS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP.
I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHO THE AMAZON SELLER IS THAT KEEPS THE
PACEY SHIRTS ON HAND, BUT SHE IS THEIR CORE CUSTOMER.
>> Jimmy: DID YOU GUYS ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU WERE GUYS WERE
DESTINED -- THAT YOU WERE GOING TO GET
MARRIED? >> I KNEW THE MOMENT SHE ASKED
ME. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SHE ASKED YOU? >> SHE ASKED ME, YEAH, ON NEW
YEAR'S EVE. WE WERE IN NICARAGUA.
IT WAS VERY BEAUTIFUL. INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC.
WE WERE WALKING DOWN THE BEACH AND SHE JUST ASKED ME TO MARRY
HER. >> Jimmy: SHE JUST SAID WILL
YOU -- WOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> NO, THERE WAS -- THERE WAS
LIKE A PREAMBLE. THERE WAS A LEAD UP TO IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. DID YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS GOING
TO HAPPEN? >> I DID NOT KNOW.
BUT SHE WAS QUITE ADAMANT AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
THIS IS THE BEST CHOICE I EVER MADE.
>> Jimmy: AW, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BUDDY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YEAH, THAT'S AWESOME.
CONGRATS ON THE GREAT REVIEWS. >> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: "DR. DEATH" IS STREAMING NOW ON PEACOCK.
EVERYONE, GET PEACOCK. BY THE WAY, SUPER EASY TO GET
PEACOCK. >> AND, A LITTLE BONUS NEWS.
YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO PAY. YOU SHOULD OF COURSE.
BUT YOU CAN WATCH THE SHOW JUST BY DOWNLOADING THE APP.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SO IT'S FREE. >> IT'S FREE.
LOVE THAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH --
FREE IS GOOD. >> FREE IS VERY GOOD.
>> Jimmy: I TIED IT, 'CAUSE I'M LIKE, "I SHOULD.
IT'S NBC PEACOCK." >> I MEAN, YOU KIND OF GOT TO.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SO I JUMPED IN TO IT. I KNOW, BUT I JUMPED IN TO SEE
HOW HARD IT WAS. IT'S EASY.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> SUPER SIMPLE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO EXCUSES.
>> NO. >> Jimmy: BUT THIS IS BASED ON
A -- TROUBLING TRUE STORY. >> YES.
>> Jimmy: CRAZINESS. IS THIS -- HOW DID YOU FIND OUT
ABOUT THE STORY? >> I MISSED --
SO THIS IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
THIS TERRIBLE DOCTOR, CHRISTOPHER DUNTSCH, HAD
38 SURGERIES, 33 OF WHICH WERE CATASTROPHIC.
TWO OF WHICH ENDED IN DEATH. A THIRD ONE OF HIS PATIENTS HAS
SINCE DIED. LIKE, JUST COULD NOT BE ANY
WORSE. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> I MISSED ALL THIS WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING.
SO, WHEN THE JOB CAME TO ME, PATRICK MACMANUS, WHO IS THE
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER AND WRITER, HE -- WE'RE TALKING ON THE PHONE
AND HE'S GIVING ME THE WHOLE PITCH.
AND HE BASICALLY SAID, "LOOK, THERE'S AN AMAZING PODCAST.
GO LISTEN TO THE PODCAST. AND THEN LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
AGAIN." AND SO I WENT AND LISTENED TO
THE PODCAST. AND IT -- I MEAN, IT'S LIKE A
HORROR STORY. YOU KNOW, YOU CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT THIS -- >> Jimmy: IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN A
HORROR STORY. >> YEAH, IT IS --
'CAUSE IT'S TRUE. AND REAL BODIES WERE DAMAGED.
THIS MAN IS PROBABLY GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE IN
JAIL, AS HE WELL SHOULD. BUT THE SYSTEM THAT CREATED HIM
STILL EXISTS. AND THAT'S, TO ME, WHAT'S SO
SCARY ABOUT THIS STORY, IS THAT HE'S THE KIND OF PERFECT STORM
OF EVIL MAN WITH BAD INTENTIONS, BUT IT TOOK A WHOLE SYSTEM
AROUND HIM TO ALLOW HIM TO KEEP ON DOING THAT DAMAGE TO PEOPLE
AND THAT SYSTEM STILL EXISTS. >> Jimmy: GOSH.
YOU'RE PHENOMENAL. ALSO IT'S ALEC BALDWIN AND
CHRISTIAN SLATER TOO. >> SLATER.
ROB, WE GOT TO A BUNCH OF GOOD FOLKS IN THERE.
>> Jimmy: WATCH THE SHOW. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S JOSHUA JACKSON IN
"DR. DEATH." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> WHAT HAPPENED WITH MR. PEDUO? >> WELL, THE SURGERY WAS NORMAL,
NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A SCRUB
TECH WHO HAD THE PACE OF MOLASSES.
AND A RESIDENT -- >> SAYS HERE THE PROCEDURE WAS
DELAYED. FOR A WEEK.
>> YES. THERE WERE SOME CHALLENGES WITH
THE SCHEDULING, BUT WE ACCOMMODATED IT.
>> CHALLENGES? >> THE ACCESS SURGEONS, THEY'RE
ALL BOOKED UP. >> I WAS A NURSE FOR MANY YEARS
BEFORE ENTERING MANAGEMENT. I'M SO FLUENT IN DOCTOR BULL
[ BLEEP ] I CAN WHIFF IT ALL THE WAY FROM
FT. WORTH. >> HEY, LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO
CAUSE TROUBLE HERE, BUT I THINK THERE ARE SOME FRAGILE MALE EGOS
IN THIS TOWN THAT DON'T LIKE MY STYLE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: JOSHUA JACKSON,
EVERYBODY! "DR. DEATH" IS STREAMING NOW ON
PEACOCK. WE'LL BE BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE
FROM SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA. FEATURING TY DOLLA $IGN AND
070 SHAKE. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. **
>> Jimmy: HERE WITH THE TV DEBUT OF THEIR NEW SONGS "LIFETIME"
AND "IT GETS BETTER" WITH SPECIAL GUESTS TY DOLLA SIGN AND
070 SHAKE, HERE'S SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
* UNDER THE WHITE LIGHT
ONCE IN A LIFETIME WATCHING THE SKYLINE
DON'T CHANGE * * YOUR MIND WHILE
UNDER THE WHITE LIGHT ONCE IN A LIFETIME
WATCHING THE SKYLINE * * DON'T CHANGE
YOUR MIND WHILE UNDER THE WHITE LIGHT
DOLLA SIGN * * ONCE IN A LIFETIME
BABY IT'S THE RIGHT TIME I'LL PUT ON THE RED LIGHT
TOLD YOU IT WAS ON * * ON SITE
YOU HAD ON THAT SUNDRESS NEVER FAIL TO IMPRESS
WE HAD THE BEST SEX * * WE MADE LOVE ALL NIGHT
UNDER THE WHITE LIGHT ONCE IN A LIFETIME
WATCHING THE SKYLINE * * DON'T CHANGE
YOUR MIND WHILE UNDER THE WHITE LIGHT
ONCE IN A LIFETIME * * WATCHING THE SKYLINE
DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND WHILE
UNDER THE WHITE LIGHT * **
* COME WITH ME TAKE MY HAND
FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME *
* TO A PLACE A PLACE WHERE WE
CAN BE FREE FOLLOW ME *
* ONCE IN A LIFETIME WATCHING THE SKYLINE
DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND WHILE *
** **
* LET ME LOVE YOU *
** **
* IT GETS BETTER BABY
I WANT YOU BABY YEAH IT GETS BETTER BABY
LET ME LOVE YOU * **
**
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT.
JONAS BROTHERS AND ZOE LISTER-JONES WILL BE HERE,
AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM OMAR APOLLO.
MY THANKS TO DWAYNE JOHNSON, JOSHUA JACKSON,
SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA, TY DOLLA SIGN, 070 SHAKE!
AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS."
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
>> I STARTED THROWIN' BASS, SHE
STARTED THROWIN' BACK MID-RANGE. BUT WHEN I SPRUNG THE QUESTION,
SHE ACTED KIND OF STRANGE. THEN WHEN I ASKED, "DO YA HAVE A
MAN," SHE TRIED TO PRETEND. SHE SAID, "NO, I DON'T, I ONLY
HAVE A FRIEND." **
>> COME ON, JEFF. I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.
** * OH BABY YOU
YOU GOT WHAT I NEED BUT YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND * * AND YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND OH BABY YOU
YOU GOT WHAT I NEED * * BUT YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND AND YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND * * OH BABY YOU
YOU GOT WHAT I NEED * >> SAY WHAT, Y'ALL?
* BUT YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND *
>> SAY WHAT? * BUT YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND OH BABY YOU
YOU GOT WHAT I NEED * * BUT YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND BUT YOU SAY HE'S
JUST A FRIEND * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
JEFF GOLDBLUM, BIZ MARKIE.