>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - CHARLIZE THERON,
WILLIE NELSON, MUSICAL GUEST, BEABADOOBEE AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1487 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
*
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THANK YOU.
WELCOME. YES. OH, THANK YOU VERY, VERY, VERY,
VERY MUCH. FRIDAY CROWD >> Steve: COME ONE
>> Jimmy: FRIDAY CROWD RIGHT THERE. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW.
YOU'RE HERE. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE GOT A FULL AUDIENCE I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE SHOW TONIGHT.
CHARLIZE THERON IS HERE. >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WILLIE NELSON IS ALSO OUR GUEST TONIGHT. >> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: WILLIE NELSON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FOR APPEARING ON THE SHOW, WE
SENT WILLIE AN EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT. [ LAUGHTER ]
NOT FRUIT, IT WAS AN ARRANGEMENT OF EDIBLES [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HE LIKES GUMMIES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS
WELL GUYS, IN A SPEECH LAST, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE MADE HIS CLEAREST
EFFORT YET TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM TRUMP, BY SAYING HE WAS PROUD TO CERTIFY THE ELECTION.
WOW. IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT SIDE OF PENCE.
[ LAUGHTER ] NEXT HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BE GRAND MARSHAL OF THE PRIDE
PARADE >> Steve: WHAT [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, IT'S AMAZING WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HIM. MEANWHILE, TRUMP CAN'T BELIEVE
PENCE TURNED AGAINST HIM HE WAS LIKE, "BOY, JUST WHEN YOU KNOW A GUY THAT YOU SEND AN
ANGRY MOB INTO THE CAPITOL BUILDING TO MURDER." [ LAUGHTER ]
PENCE ALSO TRIED TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD BY TELLING A JOKE AND HE
DELIVERED IT AS ONLY MIKE PENCE CAN.
DECIDED TO TAKE HIS COW TO THE MARKET SO HE LOADED THE COW IN THE
TRUCK AND THE DOG, AND HEADED INTO TOWN. BUT ON THE WAY THERE WAS A
A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT, THE COW AND TRUCK WENT IN ONE DITCH, AND THE FARMER AND DOG WENT IN THE
OTHER. THEY ENDED UP THE COURT. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THE ATTORNEY FOR THE OTHER DRIVER WAS QUESTIONING, "ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU SAID YOU NEVER
FELT BETTER IN YOUR LIFE." HE SAID, "SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN
WHICH YOU MADE THAT COMMENT? HE SAID, "YEAH, I RECKON I WOULD.
ME AND THE COW WAS IN ONE DITCH, AND THE TRUCK AND DOG WAS IN THE OTHER
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I'VE SEEN THE SHERIFF AND HE WALKED OVER, HE LOOKED DOWN
AT THAT DOG IT A BROKE BACK, IT WASN'T GOING TO GET BETTER [ LAUGHTER ]
HE GOT HIS REVOLVER OUT AND PUT IT NEXT TO THE DOG'S EAR AND HE SHOT HIM
AND AGAIN, HE MERCIFULLY PUT HIS RESOLVER TO THE FOREHEAD OF THE COW AND PULLED THE TRIGGER
THEN THAT SHERIFF WALKED OVER TO ME AND SAID, "AND HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WOW. WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND PENCE WAS LIKE, "DARN, I TOLD IT WRONG
LET ME TRY IT AGAIN FROM THE TOP. [ LAUGHTER ]
"THERE WAS A FARMER, HE WAS IN THE DITCH -- WHAT WAS THAT JOKE
SERIOUSLY, IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO BREAK UP YOUR FOURTH OF JULY BARBECUE, TELL THAT ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ] I MEAN THAT'S -- [ LAUGHTER ]
SHOOTING THE DOG >> Steve: BROKEN BACK. >> Jimmy: "PULLED HIS REVOLVER
OUT AND AIMED AT DOG." >> Steve: "DOG HAD A BROKEN BACK
DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER." >> Jimmy: IT GOT WORSE WHEN THE CAMERA PANNED OUT AND IT WAS
JUST A GROUP OF PRESCHOOL KIDS [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY GO, "OH."
GET THIS ACCORDING TO A NEW BOOK COMING OUT, TRUMP MADE FUN,
APPARENTLY, OF RUDY GIULIANI FOR SPITTING DURING MEETINGS YEAH, AND EVEN TOLD HIM THAT HE
SUCKED ON TV [ LAUGHTER ] SPITTING, SUCKING, SWEATING,
LEAKING -- HE'S LIKE EVERY AWFUL GUY AT PLANET FITNESS ROLLED INTO ONE GUY.
YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] RUDY TOOK IT ALL IN STRIDE
THOUGH HE'S LIKE, "LOOK, HE TEASES ME, BUT AT THE END UP THE DAY, HE
ALSO RUINED MY LIFE. [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, TODAY VICE PRESIDENT
KAMALA HARRIS MADE HER FIRST VISIT TO THE U.S./MEXICO BORDER
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SHE VISITED THE BORDER TOWN OF EL PASO IS IT ME OR "EL PASO" IS NOT
THE BEST NAME FOR A BORDER TOWN >> Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT "NO PASS-O."
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: SOME BUSINESS NEWS, POPEYES JUST INTRODUCE THE NEW
"I DON'T KNOW MEAL" FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO ORDER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
HOW CAN YOU BE UNDECIDED WHEN THE ENTIRE MENU HAS BASICALLY ONE THING?
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S NOT LIKE CUSTOMERS ARE THINKING, "SHOULD I HAVE THE
FRIED CHICKEN OR THE SUSHI WHAT DO YOU THINK? [ LAUGHTER ]
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD HAVE AT POPEYE'S?" [ LAUGHTER ]
"HOW FRESH ARE THE LOBSTER TAILS? [ LAUGHTER ]
ACTUALLY, THEY OFFER THE SAME MEAL AT ARBY'S, ONLY IT'S THE COOK WHO HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S IN
IT >> Steve: OH, THERE YOU GO [ AUDIENCE OOHS
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "I DON'T KNOW. I KNOW THE EGGS.
IT'S BLEEDING, WHATEVER IT IS. SO I DON'T KNOW. IT'S SOMETHING."
>> Steve: "YES, SIR. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND GET THIS,
ASTRONOMERS HAVE IDENTIFY QUOTE, "EXTREMELY ECCENTRIC MINI PLANET" THAT JUST ENTERED
OUR SOLAR SYSTEM AND IT'S ON COURSE TO PASS BY EARTH. IT'S PRETTY EXCITING, BUT WE
WERE CURIOUS WHAT EXACTLY IS AN EXTREMELY ECCENTRIC MINI PLANET
SO HERE TO TALK THEIR TRIP IT IS THE EXTREMELY ECCENTRIC MINI PLANET
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> OH, MY GOD. JIMMY, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE
THIS IS SO RANDOM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT TOO
RANDOM WE DID INVITE YOU. >> TOTALLY
IT'S JUST THAT ASTRONOMERS ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME I'M SO ECCENTRIC.
YOU KNOW, FIRST THEY'LL BE LIKE, "LOOK AT THAT NORMAL PLANET OVER THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THEN I'LL BE LIKE, "UMM, I'M NOT LIKE THE OTHER PLANETS,
I'M A SEMI-AMATEUR CRAFT COCKTAIL MIXOLOGIST. HELLO?
>> Jimmy: UH HUH SO WHAT EXACTLY MAKES YOU AN "ECCENTRIC PLANET?
>> WELL, MY TASTE IN MUSIC IS SUPER-ECLECTIC LIKE, SOMETIMES I LISTEN TO
LADY GAGA, BUT THEN SOMETIMES I LISTEN TO LIKE A PODCAST [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE MY MIND IS ON SHUFFLE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND THAT CLASSIFIES YOU AS AN "EXTREMELY ECCENTRIC PLANET?"
WELL TECHNICALLY, IT'S BECAUSE I'M SO SMALL BECAUSE PEOPLE -- PEOPLE ARE
ALWAYS TELLING ME "OH MY GOSH, PLANET, YOU'RE SO FIT. AND I'M LIKE, "UMM, YOU HAVEN'T
SEEN ME ON TACO TUESDAY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD
COMPARE AND CONTRAST YOURSELF WITH ANOTHER PLANET. >> SURE.
SO LIKE, MARS IS RED AND HAS A A COUPLE MOONS, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: SURE
>> NORMAL PLANET >> Jimmy: OKAY >> WHEREAS I COLLECT FUNKO POP
FIGURINES THAT HAVE A MUSTACHE TATTOO ON MY INDEX FINGER. [ LAUGHTER ]
ECCENTRIC! ECCENTRIC! >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S VERY
ECCENTRIC. I GOT IT I GOT IT
GIVE ME ANOTHER EXAMPLE. >> OR LIKE, EARTH HAS WATER AND
CAN SUSTAIN LIFE, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> NORMAL PLANET
WHEREAS I PERFORM UKULELE COVERS OF RAP SONGS ON PERISCOPE.
[ LAUGHTER ] EXTREMELY ECCENTRIC! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ONE LAST THING, THAT'S NOT - [ LAUGHTER ]
-- THAT'S YOUR REAL ACCENT, IS IT >> NO, IT'S COMPLETELY FAKE.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, GOOD. THANK YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
THE EXTREMELY ECCENTRIC MINI PLANET >> THANK YOU, JIMMY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: HE'S A-DORK-ABLY
ECCENTRIC. >> Steve: YEAH, A-DORK-ABLY. >> Jimmy: AND FINALLY, EARLIER
THIS WEEK, POLICE IN PENNSYLVANIA BROKE UP AN EXORCISM IN THE LUMBER AISLE OF
A HOME DEPOT [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, AN EXORCISM ON THE LUMBER
AISLE. POLICE LAUGHED UNTIL THE TWO-BY-FOR PROJECTILE VOMITED.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN THEY HELD A SEANCE TO SUMMON A BEING FROM FAR BEYOND,
A HOME DEPOT EMPLOYEE. "DOES ANYONE WORK HERE?" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW "DOES ANYONE WORK HERE?" THE ROOTS HERE, EVERYBODY.
COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. SHE STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "F9"
IN THEATERS NOW. CHARLIZE THERON IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
PLUS, HE'S WRITTEN A NEW BOOK, "WILLIE NELSON'S LETTERS TO AMERICA.
THE ONE AND ONLY WILLIE NELSON IS HERE. >> Steve: OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT'S FUNNY, GREAT STORIES.
IT'S AWESOME I LOVE WILLIE NELSON AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM
BEABADOOBEE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THEN "THANK YOU NOTES"
LATER IN THE SHOW. OH, I WANT TO QUICKLY MENTION THE MILEY CYRUS CONCERT ON
PEACOCK, IT'S OUT NOW TOO. IT'S AWESOME, BY THE WAY SO CHECK IT OUT.
YEAH, IF YOU'RE A FAN OF MUSIC IN GENERAL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT'S ON PEACOCK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE CRUSHES.
WE LOVE YOU, MILEY AND I WANNA GIVE ANOTHER SHOUT OUT TO THE ROOTS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOOK WHAT I RECEIVED LOOK WHAT I RECEIVED TODAY
OH, LA, LA >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WOW. >> Jimmy: YOU RELEASED A DELUXE VERSION OF "DO YOU WANT
MORE!!!??! THIS IS YOUR SECOND ALBUM. IS THIS CORRECT?
>> Tariq: YEAH, OUR SECOND, BUT MAJOR OUR MAJOR LABEL DEBUT. OUR SECOND ALBUM
YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT COMES WITH
A BOOKLET IN HERE. IT COMES WITH FOUR SUPER 180 GRAM VINYLS.
LOOK AT THIS, JAM. COME ONE, YOU DON'T MESS AROUND
WHEN THE ROOTS SOMETHING, THEY DO IT RIGHT. LOOK AT THIS GUY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE THE PICTURES IN HERE. I LOVE THE STORIES IN HERE
I WANT TO SHOW A PICTURE OF QUEST AND TARIQ. LOOK AT THESE.
>> Questlove: BABIES >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THESE KIDS [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
LOOK AT THIS KIDS. THEY'RE LIKE, WE'RE GOING TO BE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW" ONE DAY
WITH JIMMY FALLON. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH
YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND INTERESTING IN THIS IS THE WHOLE STORY ABOUT YOU SIGNING
FOR GEFFEN AND HOW RICH -- RICHARD WAS LIKE, "DUDE, I DON'T KNOW, THEY
MIGHT DROP YOU GUYS. >> Questlove: YEAH, THE LAST MINUTE WE DECIDED TO EXILE TO
THE UK, AND LIVE THERE FOR LIKE FOUR -- WHAT, THREE TO FOUR YEARS ALMOST
>> Tariq: YEAH >> Jimmy: WAS THIS THE RECORD THAT KIND OF BROKE THE BAND
OPEN LIKE THIS IS - >> Questlove: YEAH
>> Tariq: YEAH ABSOLUTELY >> Jimmy: THIS WAS IT?
>> Tariq: YES. THAT WAS IT. >> Jimmy: THE ONE AFTER THIS
WAS "ILLADELPH --" >> Tariq: "ILLADELPH HALFLIFE. YEAH, AND THEN YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S MY FAVORITE, BUT TELL YOU --. [ LAUGHTER ]
I LOVE "DO YOU WANT MORE?" AND THE TITLE, IS THAT BASED OFF THE TRACK, WHICH BASED OFF
THE ARSENIO HALL THING OR NO >> Questlove: YEAH, WE HAPPENED TO SEE ARSENIO HAD HIS VERSION
OF, LIKE, IT WAS LIKE LETTERMAN'S HUMAN TRICKS THING >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
STUPID HUMAN TRICKS? >> Questlove: YEAH WELL, WE SAW JAZZ GREAT PLAYING
BAGPIPES >> Tariq: RUFUS HARLEY >> Questlove: RUFUS HARLEY
YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH YOU PLAYED BAGPIPES?
>> Questlove: WE SAW HIM ON ARSENIO HALL AND HE HAPPENED TO BE IN PHILADELPHIA
SO WE LOOKED HIM UP IN THE WHITE PAGES, IF YOU REMEMBER WHAT THE WHITE PAGES
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE I REMEMBER PAGES >> Questlove: THEY STILL MADE
THE WHITE PAGES? >> Jimmy: THE WHITE PAGES, GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU FOUND HIM IN THE WHITE PAGES?
>> Tariq: YEAH, WE DID >> Jimmy: NOT IN THE YELLOW PAGES.
>> Tariq: RUFUS HARLEY >> Jimmy: AND JUST UNDER HIS NAME AND GOT HIM OVER TO THE
STUDIO >> Questlove: HE DIDN'T BELIEVE US
>> Tariq: WE HAD TO HAVE CASH IN HAND IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS HE GOT TO THE STUDIO
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU THE FIRST HIP-HOP GROUP TO EVER HAVE A A BAGPIPER
>> Questlove: YES. >> Tariq: ABSOLUTELY ABSOLUTELY
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. AND THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE
THE TITLE. >> Tariq: YEAH [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, YOU KNOW I LOVE VINYL. SO I APPRECIATE THIS
AND CONGRATS, ROOTS. THIS IS -- CHECK THIS OUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IF YOU LOVE MUSIC, GET THIS. "DO YOU WANT MORE!!!??!" DELUXE EDITION.
I LOVE IT, GUYS. HEY GUYS, I'M ALSO VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE STANLEY CUP
SEMIFINALS THEY'RE IN FULL SWING RIGHT NOW.
[ APPLAUSE ] THREE TEAMS REMAINING: THE MONTREAL CANADIENS, THE
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING, AND THE NEW YORK ISLANDERS >> Steve: WHOA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW AS YOU KNOW, AFTER THE GAME THEY GIVE OUT AWARDS LIKE "MOST
VALUABLE PLAYER," BUT THEY ALSO GIVE OUT AWARDS BEFORE THE GAME
YOU KNOW THAT? >> Steve: NO, I DID NOT KNOW THAT
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW
SUPERLATIVES." HERE WE GO
* * TONIGHT SHO SUPERLATIVES *
* >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST PLAYER FROM THE ISLANDERS, ILYA SOROKIN.
YEAH, HE VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO KISS WITH HIS EYES OPEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ KISSES ] NEXT UP, FROM THE LIGHTNING IS ERIK CERNAK.
HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO BE BART SIMPSON'S DUI MUGSHOT." [ LAUGHTER ]
NEXT UP FROM THE LIGHTNING IS VICTOR HEDMAN. >> Steve: OH, YEAH
>> Jimmy: HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO HAVE JUST CAUSED AN 18-CAR PILEUP WITH HIS MIND.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE NEXT UP FROM THE ISLANDERS IS CORY SCHNEIDER
HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO BE THE LOVE CHILD OF BLAKE SHELTON AND BARB FROM "STRANGER
THINGS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
WAS AN AWARD >> Jimmy: WHAT EPISODE WAS THAT
>> Steve: A VERY SPECIFIC AWARD TO GIVE OUT. >> Jimmy: IT'S RARE.
IT'S RARE. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: NEXT, FROM MONTREAL
IS JON MERRILL [ LAUGHTER ] HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO
PUSH YOU DOWN A WATER SLIDE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "ALRIGHT, THREE,
TWO -- GO GET 'EM, MAN." [ LAUGHTER ] "YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR
FACE." [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT UP FROM MONTREAL IS
MICHAEL FROLIK HE WAS VOTED "BEST MOUSTACHE-BEARD.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? HEY, NOT BAD [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
L THAT'S PRETTY COOL >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: THAT'S COOL, I LIKE
THAT NEXT UP FROM THE ISLANDERS IS SIMON HOLMSTROM.
HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO HAVE THE NICKNAME "SWEDISH LARRY BIRD."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "YEAH, I THROW THE THREE-POINTER.
>> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NEXT UP FROM THE
LIGHTNING IS ANTHONY CIRELLI HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO TURN IN SHARP 90-DEGREE ANGLES
WHEN HE WALKS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY FROM MONTREAL IS
SHEA WEBER HE WAS "VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SIT DOWN IN A RESTAURANT AND
JUST TELL THE WAITER, 'MEAT.'" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THOSE YOU ARE YOUR STANLEY CUP
SEMIFINAL SUPERLATIVES GO, ISLANDERS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THANK
YOU NOTES, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TODAY IS FRIDAY. AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH
UP ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF, YOU KNOW, I CHECK MY INBOX, RETURN SOME EMAILS, AND OF COURSE I
SEND OUT THANK-YOU NOTES IT'S FRIDAY. SO, I WAS --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND, SO I THOUGHT IF YOU GUYS WOULDN'T
MIND I'D JUST LIKE TO WRITE OUT MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW.
IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I APPRECIATE IT.
JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK-YOU NOTE WRITING, PLEASE *
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: IS HE REAL OR
ANIMATRONIC? >> Steve: I THINK IT WAS ANIMATRONIC JAMES.
IT'S THE ONE WE GOT FROM CHUCK E. CHEESE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WE GOT HIM AT CHUCK E. CHEESE? >> Steve: AT CHUCK E. CHEESE,
YEAH JAMES COULDN'T MAKE IT TODAY [ LAUGHTER ]
* >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, "F9" POSTER, FOR LOOKING LIKE THE
SQUAD'S FACING THEIR MOST DANGEROUS THREAT YET -- GENDER REVEAL PARTIES
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU, MILWAUKEE BUCKS
MASCOT BANGO, FOR LOOKING LIKE ONE OF THE REINDEER WHO BULLIED RUDOLPH.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] YOU'LL NEVER BE -- RUDOLPH
>> Steve: I DON'T WANT TO BE A A DENTIST. >> Jimmy: HERMEY, BUMBLES
BOUNCE * THANK YOU, "LOKI," FOR SHOWING
THAT ALL IT TAKES TO CONTROL A A LITERAL GOD IS A $39 SHOCK COLLAR FROM CHEWY.COM.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] *
THANK YOU, FOURTH OF JULY, FOR BEING THE DAY WE CELEBRATE AMERICA'S INDEPENDENCE, AND
ALSO TRY TO CONVINCE OUR DOGS THAT THE WORLD ISN'T ENDING. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] GO IN THE BASEMENT OR SOMETHING.
WHAT IS HAPPENING? >> Steve: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SHOOT HIM
HIS BACK IS BROKE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU SAY
THERE, VICE PRESIDENT? WELL, THEN I TOOK THE REVOLVER, I PUT IT IN THE DOG'S MOUTH.
>> Steve: CAUSE HIS BACK - >> Jimmy: LOOKED HIM IN THE EYE.
>> Steve: HE WASN'T GOING TO HEAL >> Jimmy: MADE SURE HE KNEW IT
WAS ME THAT WAS DOING IT >> Steve: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE PUNCHLINE
>> Jimmy: THIS IS TERRIBLE YEAH NOT REALLY A HA-HA JOKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S A TERRIBLE JOKE *
THANK YOU, SUNSCREEN, FOR NOT BEING CALLED "SAFETY MAYONNAISE."
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] HONEY, JUST PUT ON YOUR SAFETY
MAYONNAISE YOU DON'T WANT THE SUN - *
THANK YOU, BUG ZAPPERS, FOR LETTING ME CHILL OUT TO THE RELAXING SOUNDS OF MOSQUITOS
DYING. [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
YOU KILLED ME. MY FAMILY'S IN THERE [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: HELP ME. >> Jimmy: THEN A BEE HOPS IN THERE AND IT'S LIKE A GOOD
SIZZLE FOR A COUPLE MINUTES. >> Steve: YEAH, A COUPLE - >> Jimmy: LET 'EM FRY.
LET 'EM FRY. >> Steve: THEN YOU SHOVE A DOG IN THERE
>> Jimmy: AND THEN, WELL, THE DOG'S BACK WAS BROKEN, SO WE HAD TO PUT THE DOG'S FACE IN
THERE. HE STILL HAD SOME LIFE LEFT TO HIM.
>> Steve: MR. VICE PRESIDENT, WE GOT TO GET GOING. >> Jimmy: NO, I'M ALMOST
FINISHED WITH THE JOKE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT DOGS WAS STILL MOVING A
A LITTLE BIT, I THINK. [ LAUGHTER ] SO WE LIT FIRE TO HIM WITH
GASOLINE [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS A LITTLE HUNGRY.
I HAD JUST COME FROM POPEYE'S, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO ORDER. [ LAUGHTER ]
MR. PRESIDENT, I'M JUST GOING TO TURN YOUR MICROPHONE OFF. WE'VE HEARD MORE THAN ENOUGH
* THANK YOU, WEARING SOCKS AND
SANDALS, FOR SAYING EITHER I'M MARRIED, OR I WILL NEVER BE MARRIED.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ONE OR THE OTHER
>> Steve: ONE OF THE TWO * >> Jimmy: ONE OR THE OTHER
>> Steve: DEALER'S CHOICE. * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, HOTEL
SHAMPOOS, OR AS YOU'RE CALLED AFTER THE VACATION IS OVER, MY SHAMPOOS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NO ONE'S GOING TO USE THEM, ANYWAY
>> Steve: MAY I TAKE A FEW OF THOSE? *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, QR CODES, FOR LOOKING LIKE BARCODES THAT GOT BLACKOUT DRUNK
THERE YOU HAVE IT EVERYBODY. THOSE ARE MY THANK-YOU NOTES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
CHARLIZE THERON. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN OSCAR-WINNING
ACTRESS. SHE STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "F9" WHICH IS IN THEATERS TODAY
HERE IS CHARLIZE THERON.
*
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS, COME ON, NOW. WE LOVE YOU.
CHARLIZE >> HI, JIMMY >> Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE I APPRECIATE THIS EVERY TIME YOU COME
CONGRATS ON "F9. I THINK THIS -- I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY I THINK IT'S GOING TO
BE THE BIGGEST MOVIE I THINK THIS IS THE MOVIE THAT'S GOING TO OPEN UP MOVIES
AGAIN. EVERYONE'S GOING TO GO TO THE THEATER THIS WEEKEND AND CHECK
IT OUT CONGRATS ON BEING IN THIS. THIS IS YOUR SECOND ONE.
>> THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR HAVING -- THANK YOU FOR SAYING ALL THOSE KIND
WORDS. AND YES, I -- HAVE YOU MISSED MOVIES, GOING TO THE THEATER
CAUSE I HAVE >> Jimmy: YES, OF COURSE I HAVE
>> SO MUCH >> Jimmy: ESPECIALLY WITH THIS MOVIE, WHICH IS --YOU TAKE IT
TO A NEW LEVEL IN THIS "FAST AND FURIOUS. ACTUALLY, YOU GO TO SPACE IN --
THAT'S NOT A SPOILER, IT'S OUT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT, HERE'S WHAT I LOVE. YOU PLAY CIPHER. AND YOU'RE A VILLAIN IN THE
MOVIE, AND YOUR HAIR CHOICE, I WILL SAY, IS FANTASTIC YOU CHOSE A BOWL CUT
AND YOU STILL LOOK COOL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> THANKS.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE JUST SO COOL-LOOKING THAT YOU LOOK AWESOME WITH A BOWL CUT.
LOOK AT THIS I LOVE THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HOW DO YOU PULL THAT OFF >> I -- I DON'T KNOW IF I DID, BUT THANK YOU FOR SELLING IT SO
HARD [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU DID.
>> I -- YOU KNOW WHAT, I WAS WORKING ON A MOVIE AND I HAD SHORTER HAIR, AND I WENT RIGHT
INTO THE SHOOT AFTER I WRAPPED THAT FILM. AND I JUST -- I DIDN'T HAVE
THAT MUCH HAIR TO WORK WITH. AND WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO BUILD A WIG, SO WE JUST
DIDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH CHOICE AND THE ONLY THING THAT WE REALLY COULD DO WAS THAT
AND THANK GOD I HAVE SO MUCH TRUST IN THE PEOPLE THAT I WORK WITH
>> Jimmy: I PULLED A SIMILAR LOOK WHEN I WAS A CHILD. THAT WAS ME HERE
THAT WAS - [ LAUGHTER ] WE LOOK LIKE WE COULD BE
BROTHER AND SISTER, KIND OF. >> I MEAN, I THINK EVERY KID HAD LIKE A BOWL CUT, RIGHT
LIKE, I HAD ONE, TOO I -- WELL -- >> Jimmy: YEAH
I ASKED YOU FOR A PICTURE OF YOU WITH A BOWL CUT, AND OH MY GOODNESS, THIS IS WHAT YOU SENT
US OH, MY GOODNESS. STOP
[ AUDIENCES AWS ARE YOU KIDDING ME HOW CUTE IS THIS BABY?
OH MY GOSH YOU WERE SO CUTE >> AW.
>> Jimmy: IT'S THE TINIEST LITTLE BOWL CUT. IT'S LIKE A LITTLE -
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YET AGAIN, I DIDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH HAIR TO WORK WITH.
>> Jimmy: CIPHER'S NAME IS AN ALIAS, YOU'VE USED ALIASES PROBABLY BEFORE IN REAL LIFE,
LIKE IF YOU STAY AT A HOTEL. DO YOU EVER STAY UNDER - YOU DON'T STAY UNDER YOUR NAME,
DO YOU YOU CHANGE IT UP >> I DO.
I HAD ONE THAT PEOPLE WERE REALLY KIND OF WEIRDED OUT BY, WHICH REALLY CAME FROM A VERY
INNOCENT PLACE BECAUSE I TOOK IT OFF A CEREAL BOX. GINGER RASPBERRY, BUT EVERYBODY
THOUGHT IT WAS VERY STRIPPER-LIKE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH, GINGER RASPBERRY >> I KNOW, VERY --
>> Jimmy: COMING TO THE STAGE, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR GINGER RASPBERRY
[ AIRHORN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, YEAH
GINGER RAPSBERRY YEAH, NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. IT ALMOST TAKES MORE EXPLAINING
THAN -- JUST PUT MY OWN NAME DOWN THERE >> I JUST FELT LIKE ROOM
SERVICE NEVER TOOK ME SERIOUS. >> Jimmy: GINGER RASPBERRY I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "F9"
BECAUSE YOU KNOW I LOVE YOUR ACTING BUT THIS ACTING IS A GOOD
CHALLENGE. YOU ACT MOST OF THE MOVIE IN A A BOX.
YOU'RE IN A PLEXIGLAS BOX. >> I AM. I DO WELL WHEN I'M GIVEN
BOUNDARIES [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> LISTEN, I DEFINITELY THINK SOME ACTORS REALLY LIKE TO HAVE A LOT OF FREEDOM AND TO USE
SPACE, AND THINGS LIKE THAT. I TEND TO -- I HAVE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS
THAT IT'S MAYBE BETTER FOR ME TO JUST HAVE BOUNDARIES AND HAVE SOMEBODY SAY, "THIS IS
WHERE YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORKING WITH THIS. BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD
TO AUDITION, WHEN I WAS STARTING OUT, AND GOING -- FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT AN AUDITION WAS, SO I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY KNOW HOW TO PREPARE FOR IT
BUT THE IDEA OF LIKE WALKING INTO AN OFFICE BUILDING ROOM WITH FLUORESCENT LIGHTS, AND
NOT HAVING BOUNDARIES, NOT HAVING SOMEBODY SAY, "THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE, THIS IS WHAT YOU
DO," I -- I DON'T TAKE WELL TO IT I HAVE MEMORIES OF DOING THE
CRAZIEST THINGS, LIKE BRINGING IN KETCHUP AND LIKE SQUIRTING KETCHUP ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND
ON MYSELF, BECAUSE I WAS AUDITIONING FOR A SCENE WHERE I WAS GETTING SHOT
AND AGAIN I JUST NEEDED A DIRECTOR TO SAY, YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT. >> Jimmy: WAIT, SO THEY GO -
"NEXT UP, CHARLIZE, CHARLIZE THERON, CAN YOU COME IN," AND YOU WOULD ENTER
ALREADY BLOODY OR NO? >> YES, I WOULD DO IT IN THE
HALLWAY. I WOULD KIND OF TELL THE SECRETARY I'M GOING TO GET LOUD
FOR A SECOND, CAUSE SHE'S ON THE PHONE. I WAS TRYING TO BE RESPECTFUL,
AND THEN I WOULD SQUIRT IT ALL OVER MYSELF, AND THEN I JUST BARGE INTO THE DOOR, PRETENDING
LIKE I WAS SHOT. >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. >> AND I WOULD SMEAR KETCHUP ON
THE WALLS, EVERYWHERE. [ LAUGHTER ] AGAIN, I NEED SOMEBODY TO TELL
ME, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT STAY HERE AND JUST STAND RIGHT HERE."
>> Jimmy: THERE'S RUMORS OF AN ALL-FEMALE "FAST" SPIN-OFF HAVE YOU HEARD THAT AND WOULD
YOU BE UP FOR IT >> I HAVE BEEN HEARING THAT AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, BUT YES
I MEAN I THINK, THE THING THAT I WILL SAY THAT I THINK IS VERY IMPRESSIVE ABOUT THIS FRANCHISE
WOULD BE THE FEMALE CHARACTERS I THINK THE WOMEN IN THIS FRANCHISE ARE -- IT'S PROBABLY
ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS WHY I WANTED TO BE A PART OF IT. YOU KNOW, NO OFFENSE TO
VIN DIESEL, BUT MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IS PRETTY BADASS
>> Jimmy: NEVER OFFENSE TO THE DIESEL, YEAH >> YEAH.
AND SO I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA AND I HOPE THEY DO IT IF THEY NEED A BADDIE WITH A
A BOWL CUT, I'M AVAILABLE. [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: "F9" IS IN THEATRES TODAY. WE'RE GOING TO TALK MORE AFTER
THE BREAK. MORE WITH CHARLIZE THERON WHEN WE COME BACK
STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WE'RE HANGING OUT CAN CHARLIZE THERON.
HER MOVIE "F9" IS IN THEATERS TODAY. CHARLIZE YOU'VE BEEN IN SOME
GIANT, GIANT MOVIES. YOU'VE WON AN OSCAR. BUT "F9," THESE "FAST AND FURIOUS" MOVIES
IS MASSIVE THE AUDIENCE, THE FANS ARE SO PASSIONATE
WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU'RE STEPPING INTO A WHOLE UNIVERSE HERE
>> YEAH. I MEAN, LISTEN, IT'S HARD NOT TO KNOW JUST HOW IMPRESSIVE
THESE MOVIES ARE AND IT'S -- AND TO STEP INTO IT IS INTIMIDATING ALREADY BECAUSE
OF WHAT THEY HAVE BUILT AND HAVE NURTURED OVER THE YEARS AND PEOPLE LOVE THESE MOVIES
AND THEY LOVE THESE CHARACTERS DEEPLY AND THE WHOLE THEME OF FAMILY
RUNS SO DEEP IN THIS FRANCHISE SO WHEN I SHOWED UP AS THE BADDY IN "FAST 8" AND KIND OF
LIKE, YOU KNOW, TURNED DOM, VIN DIESEL'S CHARACTER, AGAINST HIS FAMILY
I DEFINITELY HAD A COUPLE FANS -- IT WAS LIKE THIS THEY APPRECIATE A GOOD VILLAIN, BUT
AT THE SAME TIME THEY'RE LIKE, "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO DOM HOW DARE YOU TURN HIM AGAINST
THE FAMILY?" >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T MESS WITH FAMILY.
>> YEAH, IT'S ALWAYS LIKE, "BUT GREAT JOB, WE WANT A GOOD BADDY, BUT DON'T DO THAT
AGAIN. >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. >> ALL RIGHT
I WON'T MESS WITH THE BADDY. >> Jimmy: AND NOW YOU HAVE TO INTIMIDATE JOHN CENA IN THIS
MOVIE. HE'S A PAL OF OURS HE'S DOM'S BROTHER IN THIS
MOVIE. WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH CENA? >> OH MY GOD
HE'S JUST SO INCREDIBLE. I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR A A BETTER SCENE PARTNER
>> Jimmy: HE'S FUNNY, TOO. >> I WAS PRETTY EXHAUSTED COMING OFF "OLD GUARD.
IT WAS TWO DAYS AFTER THAT SHOOT, WHICH WAS A LONG SHOOT. I WAS BRUISED UP
I WAS PUT IN THIS BOX WITH A A LOT OF DIALOGUE. I STRUGGLED WITH MY LINES
A COUPLE MOMENTS, AND THIS GUY WAS JUST SO, RIGHT THERE AT SOME POINT -- AT ONE POINT
HE KNEW THE LINE I MISSED. AND I WAS LIKE, THIS GUY HE EVEN KNOWS THE LINE I JUST
MISSED JUST THERE SUPPORTING -- >> Jimmy: HE'S A PRO
>> HE'S FUNNY AND -- YEAH, HE'S GREAT IN THE FILM HE PLAYS DOM'S BROTHER AND THEY
HAD A LOT OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS, WHICH IS PRETTY COOL >> Jimmy: YEAH
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP FROM THE MOVIE HERE IS CHARLIZE THERON IN
"F9." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
TO GROW UP. BUT IT WAS YOUR
BROTHER'S SHADOW THAT TURNED YOU INTO THIS. ISN'T IT
* SO YOUR WHOLE LIFE, YOU PUSHED YOURSELF TO BE FASTER THAN DOM
SMARTER THAT DOM STRONGER THAN DOM. TELL ME, DO YOU HATE HIM ENOUGH
THAT IT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT? * STILL.
>> Jimmy: WHO IS BETTER THAN CHARLIZE THERON? CHARLIZE THERON, EVERYBODY
"F9"IS IN THEATERS TODAY CHECK IT OUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH WILLIE
NELSON STICK AROUND COME RIGHT BACK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
A TEN-TIME GRAMMY WINNER, AND COUNTRY MUSIC HALL OF FAMER. THIS IS HIS NEW BOOK, HERE
"WILLIE NELSON'S LETTERS TO AMERICA," WHICH COMES OUT JUNE 29th.
HERE IS THE ONE AND ONLY WILLIE NELSON. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
LOOKING GREAT, BUDDY WILLIE, I LOVE YOU WELCOME BACK, PAL.
>> THANK YOU, JIMMY. IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK >> Jimmy: IN AUGUST, YOU'RE
ABOUT TO KICK OFF THE OUTLAW MUSIC FESTIVAL TOUR. YOU'RE BACK ON TOUR.
ARE YOU EXCITED? >> YEAH, I'M GLAD, YOU KNOW, GETTING BACK OUT
IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR NOW. AND I'M NOT SURE I CAN REMEMBER "WHISKEY RIVER."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH. WELL, OF COURSE THE FIRST THING
THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK OF WHEN THEY THINK OF YOU GOING ON TOUR IS "ON THE ROAD AGAIN."
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT IT COULD BE TOO CORNY. BUT, I DO LOVE THAT, AND WE ALL
LOVE YOU SINGING "ON THE ROAD AGAIN. DO YOU REMEMBER WRITING "ON THE
ROAD AGAIN" AND WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? >> YEAH, I WAS ON AN AIRPLANE
WITH SYDNEY POLLACK, AND JERRY SCHATZBERG THE DIRECTOR OF AND PRODUCER OF
THE "HONEYSUCKLE ROSE" MOVIE >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THEY WERE TRYING TO
THINK OF A SONG THAT MIGHT GO WITH THE MOVIE AND I SAID, "WELL, WHAT DO YOU
WANT THE SONG TO BE LIKE WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO SAY?" AND THEY SAID, "WELL, SOMETHING
ABOUT BEING ON THE ROAD. AND I SAID, "WELL, WHAT ABOUT ON ROAD AGAIN.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN. THE LIFE I LOVE IS MAKING MUSIC
WITH MY FRIENDS. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT? AND THEY SAID, "I THINK SO, YES.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY IT. YES.
DID WE RECORD THAT YES, THAT'S IT [ APPLAUSE ]
DO IT THREE MORE TIMES, WE GOT A SONG HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BY THE WAY
I KNOW YOU'RE -- YOU'RE 88, IS THAT CORRECT >> 88, YES
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IS THERE A SECRET THAT KEEPS YOU GOING STRONG?
>> OH, I THINK, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
I BELIEVE THAT I ALWAYS HAVE BELIEVED THAT. IN FACT, I WROTE A NEW SONG THE
OTHER DAY -- IMAGINE WHAT YOU WANT, AND THEN GET OUT OF THE WAY
AND I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT LINE IS GET OUT OF THE WAY >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LIKE THAT.
[ APPLAUSE ] IMAGINE -- WERE YOU ALWAYS INTO THAT, LIKE INTO VISUALIZATION
OR VISUALIZING YOUR FUTURE >> YEAH. MAYBE I DID IT A LONG TIME
WITHOUT REALIZING WHAT I WAS DOING. BUT SOMEONE TOLD ME ONE TIME
THAT THIS WAS THE NORMAN VINCENT PEALE, I THINK, AND SOME OF THOSE GUYS HE
TALKED ABOUT POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING AND I BEGAN TO REALIZE THAT
THERE WAS A LOT OF TRUTH IN THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH
DURING THIS TIME THAT WE ALL STAYED IN AT HOME AND DIDN'T LEAVE, NOT ONLY DID YOU WRITE
A GREAT BOOK, BUT YOU ALSO DID A DUET WITH BARBRA STREISAND >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I LOVED IT, BY THE WAY. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS HAVE
NEVER SANG TOGETHER. >> WELL, A MATTER OF FACT WE DID, YEARS AGO
WE DID A SONG, IT NEVER CAME OUT, BUT THEN SHE ASKED ME TO DO THIS ONE.
AND, YOU KNOW, SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE, A GREAT SINGER
WE HAD A LOT OF FUN HANGING OUT WITH HER BACK WHEN THEY WERE DOING "A STAR IS BORN" WITH
KRIS KRISTOFFERSON >> Jimmy: WOW. >> AND, YOU KNOW, WE BECAME
GOOD FRIENDS, SO I WAS GLAD TO BE ABLE TO SING WITH HER SHE'S -- SHE'S A GREAT SINGER
AND ONE OF MY DESIRES WAS TO DO A DUET WITH BARBRA >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S FANTASTIC
AND HER RECORD COMES OUT PRETTY SOON BUT SHE'LL BE ON THE SHOW FOR
THAT I GOT TO SAY, READING THIS BOOK, IT'S LIKE HANGING OUT
WITH YOU WHAT I BELIEVE WOULD BE HANGING OUT WITH YOU
YOU DON'T ALLOW ME TO HANG OUT WITH YOU BUT --
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT IF I COULD, I'D BET IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS
I JUST WANT TO READ JUST THE FIRST SENTENCE OF THIS, THE INTRODUCTIONS.
"DEAR READERS, THANK YOU FOR PICKING UP A COPY OF MY NEW BOOK, A COLLECTION OF FOND
MEMORIES, PERSONAL LETTERS, GOOD SONGS AND BAD JOKES." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT IS EXACTLY THE VIBE, AND IT IS SO COOL AND SO FUNNY, AND SO INTERESTING
YOU GO INTO -- YOU DO TELL JOKES IN HERE. YOU GO INTO SOME SNIPPETS OF
SONGS THAT YOU'RE WRITING. BRAND NEW SONGS THAT YOU'RE WRITING.
WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO WRITE THIS >> OH, I DON'T KNOW.
SOMEBODY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT MONEY. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] * REALLY, I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD
IDEA, AND TURK PIPKIN AND I -- THE WRITER WHO HELPED ME WITH THE BOOK, A GREAT FRIEND OF
MINE WE'VE DONE, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF THINGS TOGETHER IN THE PAST, SO
I HAD A LOT OF FUN DOING IT. >> Jimmy: WELL, NEXT TIME I SEE YOU IN PERSON, I WOULD LOVE YOU
TO SIGN MY COPY, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO READ IT EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL I SEE YOU.
>> ALL RIGHT, BUD. >> Jimmy: WILLIE NELSON, EVERYBODY.
HIS BOOK "LETTERS TO AMERICA," COMES OUT JUNE 29th. MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE
BREAK, EVERYBODY STICK AROUND COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
ON EARTH" FROM HER NEW E.P., "OUR EXTENDED PLAY," HERE IS BEABADOOBEE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
IT'S YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH * * YOU KILLED SOMEON
LAST NIGHT * * AND BURNED DOWN A CHURCH *
* OH YOU MADE I FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH * * WELL AND IF IT AL
GOES WRONG * * AND IT LOOKS LIKE WE'LL SOON BE GONE *
* THEN WE SHOUL ALL JUST GET ALONG * * AND SING A SONG I WROTE
AND IT GOES LIKE THI IT GOES * * SHOOP-DOO-DOO
SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DOO-BADO OH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO * * YEAH YEAH YEA
YEAH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DO
BADOOBADOO * * SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DOO-BADO
OH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DO
BADOOBADOO * * YEAH YEAH, YEAH YEAH YEAH *
* YEAH YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH * * YEA
YEAH YEAH * * YEAH YEAH YEA
YEAH YEAH * * YOU MADE IT ALONG YOU GOT A PROBLE
WITH PETER * * GOT A PROBLEM WITH JOHN *
* YOU CAN'T GO ON ALL THIS FOLLOW ME * * I WANT TO GET
A HOME * * BE NAKED ALONE AND TURN UP MY PHONE *
* 'CAUSE THIS SON I WROTE * * IS JUST SO SICK
IT GOES * * SHOOP-DOO-DOO SHOOP-DO
BADOOBADOO * * WAIT I GOT SOMETHIN TO SAY *
* WHAT'S THAT I FORGOT WAIT A MINUTE * * THE WORLD'S ABOUT TO EN
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO FINISH * * I GUESS IF IT WERE NICE
WE'D BE BETTER OFF IN IT * * HAVEN'T GOT A PLA SO I'M THINK *
I'M GONNA WING I * NAKED ALONE *
* WITH THIS SONG I WROT AND IT GOES LIKE THI IT GOES *
* SHOOP-DOO-DOO SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO *
* SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DOO-BADO OH YEAH *
* SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO *
* YEAH YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DOO-BADO OH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO * * YEAH YEAH YEA
YEAH YEAH * * YEAH, YEAH, YEA YEAH YEAH *
* SHOOP-DOO-DOO SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO *
* SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DOO-BADO OH YEAH *
* SHOOP-DOO SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO *
* YEAH YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DOO-BADO OH YEAH * * SHOOP-DOO
SHOOP-DO BADOOBADOO * * YEAH YEAH YEA
YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH *
* YEAH YEAH YEA YEAH YEAH * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: MY THANKS AGAIN TO CHARLIZE THERON! WILLIE NELSON!
BEABADOOBEE! BEABADOBEE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU.
*