>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN
ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS, SETH MEYERS,
ANNIE MURPHY, MUSICAL GUEST, COLDPLAY.
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW.
>> Questlove: 1481. >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** **
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
YEAH, YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD! IT FEELING GOOD.
OH, MY GOODNESS! COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I'LL GIVE IT BACK HERE.
OH, I LOVE YOU. PLEASE WELCOME, ENJOY THE SHOW.
THANKS. THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS IS IT. WELL, GUYS, EARLIER TODAY,
PRESIDENT BIDEN AND RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN FINALLY
MET FOR THEIR BIG SUMMIT IN GENEVA, SWITZERLAND.
YEP. IT WAS PRETTY MUCH THE OPPOSITE
OF THE "FRIENDS" REUNION. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, BIDEN AND PUTIN MET AT THIS SWISS ESTATE.
HERE IT IS. YEAH.
YOU MAY RECOGNIZE IT AS THE HAUNTED ASYLUM IN EVERY HORROR
MOVIE. [ LAUGHTER ]
ACTUALLY, PUTIN FOUND THE PLACE ON HIS FAVORITE HOUSE RENTAL
SITE, AIRKGB. [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, BIDEN AND PUTIN BOTH ARRIVED WITHIN 20 MINUTES OF
EACH OTHER. HERE THEY ARE SHAKING HANDS
OUTSIDE. [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. MEANWHILE, TRUMP WAS WATCHING ON
TV LIKE -- * DON'T YOU REMEMBER YOU
TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME BABY * [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ONCE THE PRESIDENT STEPPED INSIDE, THEY SAT DOWN
FOR ANOTHER PHOTO OP. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] LOOKS LIKE TWO DADS WAITING FOR
THEIR DAUGHTERS TO FINISH TRYING ON PROM DRESSES.
THEY'RE LIKE, "THAT LOOKS GREAT, HONEY, YEAH."
PUTIN LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO REMEMBER WHICH ONE OF THOSE
BOOKS OPENS UP THE TRAP DOORS. LIKE LOOKS AND --
"SAY HELLO TO THE SHARKS MR. BIDEN.
THERE ARE SOME PIRANHAS THAT WERE -- HOLD ON."
THEN, BIDEN AND PUTIN GOT DOWN TO BUSINESS, WHERE IT WAS JUST
THEM, A RED TABLE AND JADA PINKETT SMITH.
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S WHAT HE MEANS. LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE MEETING WAS EXPECTED TO BE FIVE HOURS, BUT LASTED ONLY HALF
THAT TIME. NOT A GREAT SIGN WHEN YOUR
SUMMIT IS BARELY LONGER THAN "PETER RABBIT 2."
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT AFTER THE MEETING, THE TWO
LEADERS AGREED TO KEEP IN TOUCH. WHEN BIDEN SAID, "I'LL GIVE YOU
MY EMAIL," PUTIN SAID, "I ALREADY HAVE YOUR EMAIL AND
PASSWORD -- [ LAUGHTER ]
-- AND VENMO. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT."
AND THIS IS NICE. THE WHITE HOUSE SAID BIDEN GAVE
PUTIN A PAIR OF CUSTOM AVIATOR SUNGLASSES.
PUTIN SAYS HE'S EXCITED TO WEAR THE AVIATORS BACK HOME IN RUSSIA
WHERE THE SUN'S OUT TWICE A YEAR.
[ LAUGHTER ] BIDEN ALSO GAVE PUTIN A CRYSTAL
SCULPTURE OF A BISON. YEAH.
A CRYSTAL BISON. WEIRDLY ENOUGH, CRYSTAL BISON IS
ALSO ONE OF TRUMP'S OLD GIRLFRIENDS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: REALLY?
>> Jimmy: YEAH. "OH, YEAH.
HE PAID HER OFF $130,000. >> Steve: 130 GRAND, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. AFTER THE MEETING, PUTIN HELD A
PRESS CONFERENCE AND WAS ASKED IF HE THINKS THE U.S. AND RUSSIA
WILL NOW HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP.
AND LISTEN TO HIS RESPONSE. >> Translator: DO YOU THINK AT
THIS PRESENT STAGE, WE ARE, WE CAN TALK ABOUT A NEW STAGE OF
FINANCIAL RELATIONS? >> Translator: THERE IS NO
HAPPINESS IN LIFE. [ LAUGHTER ]
THERE'S ONLY A MIRAGE OF IT ON THE HORIZON.
SO, YOU KNOW, CHERISH THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: WHAT? >> Jimmy: THAT'S ACTUALLY AN
EXCERPT FROM PUTIN'S NEW BOOK, "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE RUSSIAN
SOUL." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: OH. >> Jimmy: THERE'S NO HAPPINESS
IN LIFE. THERE'S NO HAPPINESS IN LIFE!
SOUNDS LIKE THE SLOGAN FOR RUSSIAN APPLEBEE'S.
[ LAUGHTER ] SWITCHING GEARS.
ACCORDING TO AN ANNUAL LIST THAT WAS JUST RELEASED, NEW JERSEY IS
AMERICA'S BEST STATE TO LIVE IN. >> Steve: YEAH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YEAH!
COME ON! YEAH!
>> Jimmy: YAY! YEAH!
>> Jimmy: YEAH, COME ON. >> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THE KEY FACTORS THEY CONSIDERED, WERE COST OF
LIVING, QUALITY OF EDUCATION, AND ACCESS TO GABAGOOL.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: OH.
>> Jimmy: AND FINALLY, SPEAKING OF THE GARDEN STATE, YESTERDAY,
AT A NEW JERSEY WATER PARK, A WATER SLIDE ACTUALLY CAUGHT ON
FIRE. [ LAUGHTER ]
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING. HOLY.
>> Steve: OH! >> Jimmy: THERE IT IS.
THE BEST STATE TO LIVE IN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] A WATER SLIDE.
MEANWHILE THERE WAS STILL A 16-YEAR-OLD LIFEGUARD AT THE TOP
OF THE SLIDE SAYING, "YOU CAN GO.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN GO.
YOU CAN GO.
YEAH. YOU CAN GO.
THAT'S RIGHT, THE THING JUST BURST INTO FLAMES, WHICH IS WHY
THE SLIDE'S NEW NAME IS, "GENDER REVEAL PARTY."
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW. GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HEY! WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU,
TONIGHT. JOINING US IN STUDIO, HE'S THE
HOST OF "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS," AND HE DOES SUCH A
GREAT JOB. SETH MEYERS IS HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Steve: COME ON.
>> Jimmy: THE ONE AND ONLY! >> Steve: LOVE THAT MAN!
>> Jimmy: ALSO, JOINING US IN STUDIO, SHE STARS IN THE NEW AMC
SERIES, "KEVIN CAN Fk HIMSELF." >> Steve: OH.
>> Jimmy: ANNIE MURPHY IS HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: OH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND WE'VE GOT A VERY
SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST. VERY SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST.
I'VE KNOWN THESE GUYS FOR, LIKE, 21 YEARS I WANT TO SAY.
>> Steve: YEAH. >> Jimmy: "SNL."
BABIES ON "SNL." I MEAN, THEY WERE YOUNGER THAN I
WAS. YEAH.
THEY KEEP COMING OUT WITH GREAT SONGS, GREAT SOUNDS.
WE LOVE THEM, ALWAYS INNOVATING. PERFORMING THEIR NEW SONG,
"HIGHER POWER," TONIGHT, IN PERSON AND OUTDOORS, COLDPLAY IS
HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: YEAH. LOVELY.
>> Jimmy: COLDPLAY. COLDPLAY IS HERE!
>> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: ANNIE MURPHY.
SETH MEYERS. IT IS -- YOU OKAY, TARIQ?
YOU LOOK UPSET. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, BUDDY?
>> Tariq: YEAH, YEAH. I'M -- I'M GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING ON?
YOU DON'T SEEM GOOD. >> Tariq: I'M JUST THINKING IT'S
OF SOME NEW ENTRIES FOR MY -- MY IRK LIST.
>> Jimmy: THE IRK LIST, WHAT IS THE IRK LIST, AGAIN?
>> Tariq: THE IRK LIST IS A LIST THAT I KEEP OF THINGS THAT ANNOY
ME. YOU KNOW, RANDOM STUFF.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL JUST SHOW YOU.
IT'S TIME FOR "TARIQ'S IRK LIST."
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Tariq: WELL, JIMMY, I'VE GOT A COUPLE QUICK ONES, RIGHT OUT
FIRST UP, IT'S SUMMERTIME, AND I'M ALREADY PRE-IRKED BY PEOPLE
TRYING TO USE ME AS THE MILE MARKER FOR HOW TAN THEY'VE
GOTTEN. FOLKS, YOU GUYS STAY UNDER THE
SUN SO LONG THAT YOUR BRAINS GET FRIED.
AND THEN YOU COME RUNNING UP TO ME, LIKE, "TARIQ, LOOK, I'M
ALMOST AS DARK AS YOU." NO, YOU'RE NOT, AMY.
YOU'RE BURNT. [ LAUGHTER ]
FAIR WARNING FOR ANYONE WHO HOLDS THEIR FOREARM UP NEXT TO
MINE, IT'S GETTING SLAPPED AND YOU'RE GETTING IRK LISTED.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Tariq: AFTER THAT, I'VE GOT,
PEOPLE WHO USE THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG AS A CHANCE TO NOT
SO SUBTLY PROVE THAT THEY CAN SING.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M SITTING THERE WITH MY PLATE
IN HAND, READY TO SPEED THINGS UP SO THE ICE CREAM DOESN'T
MELT. MEANWHILE, THEY'RE TRYING TO DO
RUNS AND HARMONIZE THROUGH EVERY SINGLE VERSE.
TALKING ABOUT SOME -- * HOW OLD ARE YOU *
>> Tariq: OLDER THAN TEN, SO WE SKIP THAT VERSE NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE GOING ON THE LIST.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ME, I DO THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY * >> Tariq: NEXT UP, IT IRKS ME
WHEN PEOPLE GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO SAY STUFF THAT GOES WITHOUT
SAYING. FOR INSTANCE, LIKE, EVERY TIME
THE NEW SMARTPHONE DROPS, THE AD SAYS, "IT'S OUR MOST POWERFUL
PHONE YET." WELL, IT BETTER BE.
YOU CAN'T JUST DROP A NEW COLOR, SWITCH UP THE CHARGER, DOUBLE
THE PRICE AND THEN GIVE ME A NOKIA BRICK PHONE.
[ LAUGHTER ] TAKE THAT MESS BACK TO THE LAB.
I'M IRKED. >> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT, YEAH,
WE DO THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. IT BETTER BE A BETTER PHONE.
>> Tariq: YEAH, MAN. IT'S LIKE THE MEDICINE
COMMERCIALS. THEY DO IT EVERY TIME.
THEY TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE DISEASE, NAME THE MEDICINE, RUN
THROUGH TEN MINUTES OF DEADLY SIDE EFFECTS AND THEN SAY
SOMETHING LIKE, "DON'T TAKE DUPIXENT IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO
DUPIXENT." I'M LIKE, "YO, I GOT A TYPE OF
DERMATITIS. I'M NOT DUMB."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN, I REMEMBER THAT
THEY'RE SELLING MEDICINE TO THE SAME PEOPLE WHO WILL SUE YOU IF
YOU DON'T TELL THEM THAT THEIR COFFEE IS HOT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> Tariq: NOW I'M IRRITATED
ABOUT HOW LITIGIOUS WE ARE AS AMERICANS.
AND THE SPELLING OF THE WORD LITIGIOUS.
[ LAUGHTER ] SO, NATURALLY, I HAVE TO SLAM
THE GAVEL, CLOSE THE CASE AND SENTENCE "SAYING STUFF THAT GOES
WITHOUT SAYING" TO 25 TO LIFE ON THE IRK LIST.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. THAT GOES ON THE IRK LIST AS
WELL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU. >> Tariq: UP NEXT, INTERNET
COOKIES. >> Steve: OH.
>> Tariq: THEY IRK ME. EVERY WEBSITE I VISIT ASKS ME TO
AGREE TO THEIR COOKIES POLICY. THEY'RE LIKE, "HEY, MAN, WHILE
YOU'RE HERE, CAN WE FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND SEE WHAT YOU LOOK
AT?" HOW ABOUT "HELL NO, JIMMY."
I'M A BLACK GUY. I STARTED SHOPPING ONLINE SO I'D
STOP GETTING FOLLOWED AROUND THE STORE.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IS THIS AMAZON.COM, OR A DAMN BODEGA IN CHELSEA?
I'M IRKED. AND IT IRKS ME THAT THEY CALL
'EM COOKIES. BECAUSE, WHAT TYPE OF NAME IS
THAT FOR A TRACKING DEVICE? I MEAN, AS A PLUS SIZE MALE
MODEL, YOU KNOW WHAT COOKIES ARE TO ME?
A TRIGGER. [ LAUGHTER ]
I MEAN, IF IT'S GONNA FOLLOW ME AROUND EVERYWHERE I GO, CALL
THEM SOMETHING SENSIBLE, LIKE SHADOWS OR KARENS.
OR TODDLERS, WHO WANTS TO SHOW ME SOMETHING I DON'T CARE ABOUT
BECAUSE DADDY'S GROWN AND HAD A LONG ASS DAY AT WORK.
GO SHOW YOUR MOTHER. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.
>> Tariq: THE ONLY PLACE I'M ACCEPTING COOKIES, IS AT THE TOP
OF MY IRK LIST. BUT, OTHER THAN THAT, I'M FINE.
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TARIQ TROTTER! I'M GLAD YOU GOT THAT OFF YOUR
CHEST. STICK AROUND.
WE'RE PLAYING TRUE CONFESSIONS WHEN WE COME BACK, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
IT IS TIME TO PLAY A GAME OF DECEPTION CALLED "TRUE
CONFESSIONS." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: MY FIRST OPPONENT
TONIGHT IS THE HOST OF "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS."
PLEASE WELCOME SETH MEYERS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: OOH, THE CHILLS.
>> I CAME IN -- >> Jimmy: WOW, OH THAT'S CHILLS!
>> I CAME IN FOR REHEARSAL EARLIER.
>> Jimmy: YOU REALLY -- WOW. OH, MY GOD.
SETH MEYERS. NOW SETH AND I WILL BE FACING
OFF AGAINST A VERY TALENTED ACTRESS.
HER NEW SHOW, "KEVIN CAN F HIMSELF" AIRS SUNDAYS AT
9:00 P.M. ON AMC. GIVE IT UP FOR ANNIE MURPHY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, ALL RIGHT.
>> YES. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS.
IN FRONT OF US ARE TWO ENVELOPES CONTAINING CONFESSIONS.
ONE IS TRUE, THE OTHER IS A LIE. ONCE YOU READ YOUR CONFESSION,
THE OTHER TWO PLAYERS GET TO INTERROGATE YOU.
THEN THEY HAVE TO -- YOU HAVE TO COME UP -- THEY HAVE TO COME UP
WITH A UNANIMOUS DECISION -- IS IT THE TRUTH OR A LIE?
SETH, YOU WILL GO FIRST. >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT ENVELOPE SHOULD HE OPEN?
ONE OR TWO? WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
[ CROWD SHOUTS TWO ] >> WHOA.
UNANIMOUS TWO. >> Jimmy: THEY ALL SAID TWO, YOU
KNOW? >> I QUIT POP WARNER FOOTBALL
BECAUSE WE HAD TO STRIP TO OUR ANY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU QUIT POP WARNER
BECAUSE -- YOU'RE VERY ATHLETIC.
SO I WOULD SAY YOU DID PLAY POP --
WHAT -- DID YOU PLAY ANY OTHER SPORTS?
>> YEAH. I PLAYED BASEBALL, SURE.
I RAN A LITTLE TRACK. >> UH, I HAVE A QUESTION.
>> SURE. >> WHY WERE YOU NOT WEARING ANY
UNDERWEAR? >> I WAS IN A RUSH TO GET TO POP
WARNER FOOTBALL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> WHY WERE YOU IN A RUSH? >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHY WERE YOU IN
A RUSH THAT DAY? >> I WAS EXCITED.
>> Both: HOW EXCITED WERE YOU? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU GUYS, THIS IS ABOUT FOOTBALL.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, OF COURSE IT IS!
YEAH. YOU WERE EXCITED.
YOU GO, "I CAN'T WAIT. I'M GOING TO POP WARNER
FOOTBALL." >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND YOU GO TO THEM. YOU GO, "HEY, WE GOT TO STRIP
DOWN SO YOU CAN GET SIZED UP." >> YEAH.
THEY WERE LIKE, "WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SIZE YOU GUYS
ARE FOR YOUR PADS." >> Jimmy: AND POP -- AND POP
WARNER IS -- YOU'RE TEENAGED?
NO. >> YOUNGER.
>> Jimmy: YOUNGER THAN THAT. >> 12.
>> 12! >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WOULD YOU EVER LEAVE
THE HOUSE WITH NO UNDERWEAR? >> I MEAN, I WOULD SAY ONE OUT
OF EVERY FIVE DAYS I WOULD. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT WERE YOU WEARING? >> JEANS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT? JEANS, NO UNDIES.
>> MM-HMM. >> OUCH!
>> Jimmy: YEAH. ROUGH STUFF THERE.
THIS IS VERY INTERESTING. BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE SO
TRICKY, THAT YOU WOULD MAKE ME BELIEVE THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT
FOOTBALL. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU LIKE SPORTS.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: SO THAT WOULD HAVE ME
STEER OFF AND BELIEVE WHATEVER STORY ABOUT SPORTS.
>> IF I WAS LYING, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'D DO.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW YOU AT
ALL. >> RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SO THIS IS --
>> THIS COULD GO EITHER WAY, YEAH.
>> THIS COULD GO EITHER WAY. THIS IS DIFFICULT.
>> Jimmy: I THINK -- I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S TRUE.
DO YOU AGREE WITH ME? THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY
UNDERWEAR? >> I THINK YOU'RE LYING.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, YOU THINK HE'S LYING?
>> I THINK HE'S LYING. >> Jimmy: OH.
I'M GOING TO STICK WITH ANNIE, THEN.
>> OH! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WELL, WE HAVE TO BE UNANIMOUS.
>> OH, WE HAVE TO BE UNANIMOUS? >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH.
>> OH, WELL, NO. THAT'S IS A LOT OF PRESSURE.
WE THINK YOU'RE LYING. >> WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY ANNIE'S
HERE BECAUSE IT'S A LIE. >> Jimmy: AH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
YOU SAVED ME. YOU SAVED ME.
>> IF YOU WANT TO -- YEAH. IT HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> IS HE OKAY?
>> HE'S FINE. HE LEFT.
>> Jimmy: YES. >> AND THEN I WAS ALSO THERE AND
HAD TO PLAY A WHOLE YEAR OF POP WARNER FOOTBALL.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, IT'S MY TURN.
WHICH ONE SHOULD I OPEN? ONE OR TWO?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? [ CROWD SHOUTS ONE ]
HOW COME TWO FOR SETH AND I GET ONE?
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS, BUD?
WHEN I WAS A KID I DREAMT OF BEING A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER
CALLED THE PRIEST. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I THINK WRESTLERS ARE KNOWN FOR HAVING TRADEMARK MOVES.
WHAT WAS THE PRIEST'S TRADEMARK MOVE?
>> Jimmy: I HAD TWO TRADEMARK MOVES.
ONE WAS, I WOULD -- I WOULD PUT YOU IN A GRAPPLE HOLD, IN
SUBMISSION, UNTIL YOU CONFESSED A SIN.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND SO THEN I WOULD KNOW, LIKE,
SINS. IT WAS A GOOD STORYLINE, YOU
KNOW? >> SURE.
>> Jimmy: I'M A BIG FAN OF, UH -- YEAH, WWE.
WWF AT THE TIME. MY OTHER MOVE WAS IF I BODY SLAM
YOU, AND THEN I WOULD PULL OUT HOLY WATER AND BRING YOU BACK
TO -- [ LAUGHTER ]
I BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE. THE PRIEST.
>> BOTH VERY GOOD. >> UH, WHAT DID YOU WEAR?
>> Jimmy: UH, HERE'S -- WELL, I MADE IT OUT OF CARDBOARD, LIKE
POSTER BOARD. LIKE, THE LITTLE -- THE
PRIEST'S, UH -- THE THING. >> THE COLLAR.
>> Jimmy: THE COLLAR. BUT I DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAVE A
FULL ON UNIFORM. BUT IF I DID, IT WOULD BE THAT
AND A ROBE. BUT THEN WHEN I GOT IN THE RING,
I WOULD TAKE THE ROBE OFF AND I WOULD HAVE JUST THE COLLAR AND
MAYBE TWO LITTLE THINGS. ALMOST LIKE A LITTLE
CHIPPENDALE'S DOWN THERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> PLAY OUT MUSIC? >> Jimmy: I WAS THINKING
CATHEDRAL ORGAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE FULL ON CHURCH LADY. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: LIKE -- YEAH. AND PEOPLE WOULD GO ANNOUNCE
THAT THE PRIEST IS HERE. AND I WOULD COME OUT WITH
INCENSE. [ LAUGHTER ]
DOING THE THING, AND I THINK THAT PEOPLE WOULD BE TOTALLY
INTO IT. UH -- THE PRIEST.
>> WAS THIS SOMETHING YOU SHARED WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
I ASSUME YOU WATCHED WRESTLING WITH FRIENDS YOUR AGE.
IS THIS -- DID THEY KNOW AT THE TIME THAT
YOU WANTED TO BE THE PRIEST? >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T THINK -- NO.
THEY DIDN'T REALLY KNOW AT THE TIME.
BUT I WAS JUST SO -- EVERYONE WAS REALLY INTO IT.
>> WAS EVERYONE REALLY INTO IT? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THIS IS THE -- YEAH, BUT NO.
I DIDN'T WRESTLE KIDS. I WOULD WRESTLE DOLLS AND STUFF.
BUT I WOULD SAY I WAS INTO, LIKE --
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, I WOULD DO MOVES --
>> WHAT? >> Jimmy: I WOULD DO MOVES ON
LIKE MY SISTER'S CABBAGE PATCH AND STUFF, YEAH.
BUT THAT WAS MY DREAM. I WAS GOING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL
WRESTLER, AND -- BUT I COULDN'T --
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] TOO SKINNY.
>> ANNIE AND I HAVE DECIDED. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I'M NOT DONE -- >> WE DECIDED --
>> Jimmy: I'M NOT DONE EXPLAINING.
>> -- LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO. >> Jimmy: I'M NOT DONE
EXPLAINING. >> I THINK WE'RE DONE LISTENING,
JIMMY. >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHEN I WAS A KID, I DREAMT OF BEING A WRESTLER CALLED THE
PRIEST. >> WE'RE OF THE SHARED OPINION,
JIMMY -- THAT'S A LIE.
>> Jimmy: IT IS A LIE. THAT IS A LIE.
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I THOUGHT MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
I DID, ACTUALLY, AT ONE POINT WANT TO BE A PRIEST.
>> RIGHT. >> Jimmy: SO, I THOUGHT MAYBE A
LITTLE CURVEBALL ON THAT TRUTH MIGHT HAVE GOT IN YOUR HEAD A
LITTLE BIT. BECAUSE YOU KNOW ME.
>> YOU WERE GOING TO BE A PRIEST AND DRESS THE SAME WAY YOU
DESCRIBED THE WRESTLER. >> RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, THE
CHIPPENDALE'S. >> AND THAT'S WHEN THEY SENT YOU
RIGHT HOME. >> Jimmy: SAME ENTRANCE!
>> THEY SENT YOU RIGHT HOME FROM SEMINARY.
>> Jimmy: SAME ENTRANCE -- EXACTLY, YES.
ANNIE, IT IS YOUR TURN TO GO. GOSH, THIS IS INTERESTING.
ALL RIGHT. ONE OR TWO.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? [ CROWD SHOUTING ]
THAT'S A MIXED BAG. [ CROWD SHOUTING ]
>> I'M HEARING BOO INSTEAD OF TWO.
SO I'M GOING TO DO ONE. >> I DIDN'T HEAR ANY BOOS.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. >> STRAIGHT UP BOOS.
>> Jimmy: GOOD. THIS IS GOOD.
>> OKAY. I ONCE LICKED CHRIS MARTIN'S
SWEAT OFF MY OWN HAND. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> AT A CONCERT? YOU WERE AT A CONCERT?
>> I WAS AT A CONCERT. >> Jimmy: IF THAT'S TRUE, THAT
MAKES ALL THREE OF US. WE'VE ALL DONE THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, GET IN LINE!
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. SO YOU WERE AT A CONCERT.
YOU WERE IN LIKE -- YOU HAD GOOD SEATS, I'M
ASSUMING. >> GREAT.
ALL ACCESS. ALL ACCESS.
I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, BUT ALL ACCESS.
>> SO IS THIS -- IS THIS POST-CELEBRITY FOR YOU?
>> THIS IS PRE-CELEBRITY. >> PRE-CELEBRITY.
>> YES, LIKE TEN YEARS AGO. >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE A COLDPLAY FAN. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: JUST THROW SOME SONGS OUT.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE? >> "FIX YOU."
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SURE. OF COURSE.
>> THE ONE THAT GOES -- [ HUMMING ]
[ LAUGHTER ] UM, UH -- "THE SCIENTIST."
>> Jimmy: "THE SCIENTIST", OKAY. >> "THE SCIENTIST."
>> "YELLOW." >> "YELLOW."
>> Jimmy: WOW! DEEP CUTS.
>> "COURT AND SPARK." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: "COURT AND SPARK?" YOU'RE JUST MAKING UP WORDS AT
THIS POINT. AND HOW DID YOU END UP TOUCHING
CHRIS MARTIN? >> HE -- I WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT
THREE ROWS DEEP. >> Jimmy: WOW, AND YOU STILL
MADE IT TO THE CENTER. >> WELL, IT WAS THE LURCH.
IT WAS LIKE THE -- >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT YOU'RE
COMING DOWN LIKE YOU'RE TALLER THAN CHRIS MARTIN WHEN HE'S ON
STAGE. YOU WOULD BE LURCHING UP --
>> HE WAS NOT ON STAGE. >> Jimmy: OH!
>> A TWIST. >> Jimmy: OH, YOUR HONOR.
A TWIST IN THE CASE. >> HE WAS DOING CROWD WORK?
>> HE WAS DOING -- [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WOULDN'T CALL IT CROWD WORK.
>> I THINK YOU DO CALL IT CROWD WORK.
>> Jimmy: I THINK COMEDIANS DO --
>> YEAH, HE WAS DOING A STAND-UP SET.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: CROWD WORK.
>> TRYING SOME NEW MATERIAL OUT. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SO HE'S DOING CROWD WORK.
HE'S BEEN THERE. HE'S GOING, "MONTREAL, I LOVE
YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST."
AND THEN HE MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH YOU?
>> NOPE. >> NO.
>> Jimmy: WOW. SO YOU WERE TRYING TO FORCE IT.
>> YES. >> Jimmy: AND YOU WERE MOVING
YOUR EYES LIKE "HEY, MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME."
>> INDEED, YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND GRABBED HIM.
AND HE PULLED AWAY AND THEN YOU HAD HIS SWEAT IN YOUR HAND.
NOW WHAT -- YOUR IMMEDIATE REACTION WAS TO LICK IT OFF?
>> YES. >> GOTCHA.
SO YOU WERE WORRIED SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN.
SECURITY WOULD RUN OVER AND WIPE THE SWEAT OFF?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YES, BEFORE I WAS ABLE TO --
>> YEAH, YOU'RE LIKE "I'VE GOT TO GET THIS IN MY MOUTH FAST."
>> Jimmy: WHO WERE YOU WITH? >> A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS.
>> Jimmy: AND DID THEY ALL FREAK THAT YOU TOUCHED HIS HAND?
>> THEY LOOKED AT ME WITH -- PRIDE AND DISGUST.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. AND DISGUST AFTER THE LICK OR
PRE LICK? >> AFTER THE LICK.
>> Jimmy: I THOUGHT DISGUSTED MAYBE THE HOW DARE YOU LURCH?
>> IT WAS PRE AND POST LICK. >> WAS THERE AN AWKWARDNESS
AFTER THE FACT THAT YOU HADN'T SAVED ANY LICKS FOR THEM?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> THAT MIGHT BE WHY WE DON'T SPEAK ANYMORE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO SAY, I
THINK THIS IS A REAL LICKING. >> I THINK THIS IS A REAL --
I'M PICTURING IT THE WAY WINNIE THE POOH GOES AT HONEY --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> -- AFTER HE PULLS IT FROM THE JAR.
JUST LIKE -- YEAH. I'M WITH YOU.
I THINK THIS IS A REAL THING. >> Jimmy: I WISH -- WERE YOU ON
THE JUMBOTRON? >> NO.
I WISH. NO.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, YOU WISH. WAIT, YOU WERE.
WHOA, YOU SLIPPED. WAIT -- BUSTED!
IT DID HAPPEN? >> IT DID HAPPEN.
>> YEAH! >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT THERE. WOW.
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT WAS THE GIVEAWAY THERE. THAT WAS A CONFESSION RIGHT
THERE. >> REALLY GOOD WORK.
>> Jimmy: I WISH IT WAS ON THE JUMBO TRON BECAUSE --
REALLY, YOU LOVE COLDPLAY? >> YEAH.
>> WHO DIDN'T? >> Jimmy: WHO DOESN'T?
>> BUT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS --
I DIDN'T PLAN IT. IT WAS JUST A VOICE IN MY HEAD
THAT WAS LIKE, "YOU NEED TO DO IT."
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND JUST DO IT.
>> AND I DID IT. AND WASN'T, YOU KNOW, I LOVE
COLDPLAY AS MUCH AS THE REST OF US.
>> NO, I'M -- YOU LIKE THEM A LITTLE BIT MORE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT THAT'S
TRUE. THANK YOU GUYS FOR PLAYING.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU'RE VERY GOOD AT THIS.
SETH MEYERS, ANNIE MURPHY. WE'RE TALKING TO SETH AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
>> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS THE HOST OF "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS," WHICH AIRS WEEKNIGHTS ON NBC, RIGHT AFTER
OUR SHOW. AND IT IS ALSO AVAILABLE ON
PEACOCK. PLEASE WELCOME SETH MEYERS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO FEEL
GREAT, HUH? >> IT'S NICE, YOU KNOW, WE
HAVEN'T DONE IT YET. IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE AGAIN,
MY GOODNESS. >> Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
YEAH, THEY'RE THE BEST. THANK YOU GUYS.
>> REAL LIVE HUMAN BEINGS. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
THANK YOU FOR COMING DOWN AND DOING THE SHOW WITH US.
I KNOW -- >> YOU MAKE IT VERY EASY.
IT'S TWO FLOORS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THE FAMILY IS GOOD? ALEXI'S GOOD?
>> YEAH, THE KIDS ARE GREAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> I MEAN, THEY'RE GREAT. RIGHT?
YEAH , I JUST WANT TO ESTABLISH THAT BEFORE I KEEP GOING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. >> I DON'T -- YOU KNOW, I LIKE
MY TIME WITH THEM TO BE POSITIVE.
BUT I WOULD LIKE THIS TIME NOW TO SORT OF AIR SOME GRIEVANCES.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY? >> JUST MINOR THINGS.
>> Jimmy: SURE. >> BECAUSE I DON'T -- I FEEL
LIKE THEY WATCH LATE NIGHT TV SO THEY'LL SEE THIS, AND IT'S JUST
EASIER FOR ME IF THEY HEAR IT THIS WAY.
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE, OF COURSE. SO SMART.
>> YES. SO, THEY -- I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL
BOYS. >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW, I LOVE
THEM. >> THEIR SMILES LIGHT UP A ROOM.
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> THE MOST NATURAL, ANGELIC,
CHERUBIC SMILES. >> Jimmy: YES.
>> YOU TAKE OUT A CAMERA. CRAZY RICTUS GRINS.
[ LAUGHTER ] WE HAVE NO GOOD PHOTOS OF THEM
SMILING, BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE LAUGHING AND BEING REAL, AND
THEN IT'S LIKE THEY GOT BIT BY A SCORPION.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY'RE LIKE --
>> Jimmy: DUDE, THAT IS WEIRD. WHY DO --
>> IT'S AWFUL. >> Jimmy: MY KIDS DO THAT TOO.
>> AND I SHOW IT TO THEM ON THE PHONE, I'M LIKE, "I CAN'T LET
PEOPLE LOOK AT THIS. YOU UNDERSTAND?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU'RE TOO CUTE FOR
THIS. >> YOU'RE TOO CUTE -- YOU'RE
BETTER THAN THIS GUYS." >> Jimmy: BUT THEY'RE LEARNING
HOW TO SMILE. >> THEY'RE LEARNING -- IT IS SO
WEIRD THAT THEY DON'T -- YEAH, THEY JUST HATE --
>> Jimmy: WE'VE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS, YOU GO LIKE, "SMILE FOR A
PICTURE." >> YEAH, I SHOW LIKE, I SHOW
THEM ADULTS ON INSTAGRAM. I'M LIKE, "NONE OF THESE PEOPLE
ARE REALLY HAPPY. [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY'VE JUST LEARNED -- THEY'VE LEARNED TO FAKE IT.
>> Jimmy: YES! >> COME ON, GUYS!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> AWFUL.
>> Jimmy: AWFUL, WELL, YEAH. >> I HOPE YOU'RE WATCHING.
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE THE CUTEST KIDS IN THE WORLD.
>> THEY ARE. THEY'RE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE DOING STAND-UP SHOWS AGAIN.
>> YEAH. I'VE DONE A COUPLE.
IT'S REALLY NICE. PEOPLE ARE SO HAPPY TO JUST BE
OUT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO PERFORM? >> IT'S GREAT.
I DID STAND-UP IN A TENT IN A PARKING LOT AND IT WAS
WONDERFUL. AND I THINK THAT SPEAKS TO HOW
LOUSY THE LAST YEAR HAS BEEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH. >> THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE
WALKING INTO A NIGHT CLUB. WHEN YOU'RE LIKE, "LOOK AT THIS.
A TENT IN A PARKING LOT! HEY!"
>> Jimmy: OH! >> "TOP OF THE WORLD!"
>> Jimmy: "YOU DID THIS FOR ME!" >> YEAH, BUT IT'S REALLY FUN.
AND I THINK THESE NEXT FEW YEARS, I THINK LIVE PERFORMANCE,
LIVE MUSIC. PEOPLE ARE JUST GOING TO BE --
>> Jimmy: JUST APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE THING.
>> -- SPORTS. EVERYBODY IS GOING TO BE HAPPY
TO BE IN THE SAME PLACE, WHICH IS COOL.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE DOING A GIG IN BOSTON SOON.
>> YES. YEAH, JULY.
>> Jimmy: WHERE ARE YOU PLAYING? >> THE WILBUR?
THE BEST, RIGHT? >> Jimmy: I THINK I RECORDED A
COMEDY THING THERE. >> YEAH, YOU DID.
>> Jimmy: IT'S ONE OF THE BEST THEATERS IN THE COUNTRY.
>> SO I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.
AND OF COURSE -- >> Jimmy: I MEAN, YOU'RE BOSTON,
I MEAN, YOU'RE -- >> I'M, YOU KNOW, SOUTHERN
NEW HAMPSHIRE, WHICH WE COUNT -- WE SAY IS BOSTON, AND BOSTON
SAYS, "NO, YOU'RE NOT." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BUT THAT'S BOSTON. >> BUT THAT'S BOSTON.
>> Jimmy: BUT I KNOW -- I THINK YOU ARE THE BIGGEST RED SOX FAN.
>> I HAD A RUN THERE WHERE I THINK NO ONE CARED MORE ABOUT
>> Jimmy: MAYBE MIKE SCHUR. >> MIKE SHUR, OUR DEAR FRIEND
WHO WORKED AT "SNL" WITH US AND THEN WENT ON TO -- NOTHING.
TO JUST FAIL. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO, WAIT, HE DID "THE OFFICE."
>> "THE OFFICE," "PARKS AND REC," "THE GOOD PLACE."
>> Jimmy: HE'S ONE OF OUR FRIENDS.
>> HE DOES AN INCREDIBLE JOB, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S BRILLIANT. BUT DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT
OUT DRINKING ONE NIGHT WITH DAVID WELLS?
>> YEAH. I MEAN, YOU GUYS KNOW
DAVID WELLS. ONE OF THE BEST PITCHERS IN THE
HISTORY OF BASEBALL. >> AND ONE OF THE GREATEST
PARTIERS OF ALL TIME. [ LAUGHTER ]
HE'S A NEW YORK YANKEE. HE'S A LEGEND.
HE'S SO MUCH FUN. WE USED TO HANG OUT WITH HIM
WHENEVER WE GOT A CHANCE. >> YEP.
>> Jimmy: AND THEN WE WENT OUT, I GO, "SETH, LET'S JUST DO IT.
WELLS IS AROUND, LET'S DO IT." >> AND WE HAD AN INCREDIBLE
NIGHT WITH DAVID WELLS. >> Jimmy: HE'S UNBELIEVABLE,
THOUGH. >> HE'S UNBELIEVABLE, THE THING
ABOUT HIM IS, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU FOUND THIS.
I FELT LIKE WHEN YOU WENT OUT AND DRANK WITH DAVID WELLS, HE
WOULD TELL YOU ALL THE SECRETS OF BASEBALL.
LIKE IT FELT LIKE HE WAS GIVING YOU ALL THE MYSTERIES OF THE
SPORT. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> AND YET WITH EACH MYSTERY, HE'D ALSO MAKE DO YOU A SHOT.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND SO THE NEXT MORNING, YOU'D
WAKE UP AND IT WAS ALL GONE. YEAH.
>> Jimmy: COULD REMEMBER ANYTHING.
>> COULDN'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S HOW HE GETS YOU. >> Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE I DO
REMEMBER HIM HAVING -- RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, I DON'T
REMEMBER ANY OF THE GREAT STORIES.
BUT HE'S SUCH A GOOD HANF. WE WENT OUT --
>> WE WENT OUT AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF TEXTING MIKE SCHUR,
WHO'S ANOTHER DYED IN THE WOOL RED SOX FAN.
AND HE WAS SO UPSET TO HEAR THAT I WAS OUT WITH A YANKEE.
AND THIS IS BEFORE THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES.
SO WE WERE A LITTLE BIT MORE IRRATIONAL.
AND I CAME IN THE NEXT DAY, AND HE HAD GONE TO THE NEW YORK
YANKEES STORE, WHICH IS RIGHT AROUND HERE WHERE THEY JUST SELL
MERCH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> AND HE HAD -- THIS IS THE WAY HE BURNED ME.
HE SPENT $500 ON YANKEES STUFF AND FILLED MY OFFICE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I MEAN, THE CEILING,
EVERYTHING. >> PILLOWS.
THERE WAS A YANKEE LAMP. >> Jimmy: NO, THE BEST MOVE WAS,
DO YOU REMEMBER, YOUR SCREEN SAVER WAS YANKEES.
>> A YANKEE MOUSE PAD. >> Jimmy: HE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT
LEVEL. HE'S LIKE, "OH, MR. YANKEE.
COME ON IN. YOU LOVE THE YANKEES SO MUCH.
YOU GO OUT DRINKING WITH THEM. WHY DON'T YOU COME IN?"
>> HE WAS LIKE, "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD ENJOY -- CONSIDER THIS A
PARTING GIFT THAT YOU ARE NOW DEAD TO ME."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I THINK ON THE FRONT
OF THE DOOR WAS EITHER WELLS OR SOMEBODY, OR JETER, OR SOMEBODY.
>> IT WAS -- HE DID NOT REACT WELL.
WE GOT OVER IT. WE GOT OVER IT.
>> Jimmy: DUDE, CONGRATS ON "LATE NIGHT."
HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN NOW? >> SEVEN.
ISN'T THAT NUTS? >> Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU'RE KICKING BUTT.
THE SHOW'S FANTASTIC. YOU'RE AS SHARP AS EVER.
THE WRITING IS -- >> THOSE GUYS DO AN AMAZING JOB,
YEAH. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU LOVING IT?
>> YEAH! I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE, YOU
KNOW, ESPECIALLY THIS LAST YEAR. I'VE ALWAYS FELT INCREDIBLY
GRATEFUL TO HAVE A SHOW. BUT THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN
INSANE TO BE ABLE TO STILL GO AND DO YOUR JOB EVEN THOUGH THIS
YEAR HAS BEEN SUCH A DRAG. AND SO I FELT --
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR DOING IT.
WE ALL NEEDED IT. >> THANK YOU, BUDDY.
>> Jimmy: AND SO YEAH. JUST FOR YOU BEING THERE AND
SHOWING UP WAS ONE THING, BUT DOING GREAT COMEDY AND GOOD
WORK, WE'RE LIKE, "YES! THANK YOU.
JUST GET THROUGH THIS." >> WELL, IT WAS AN HONOR TO JUST
BE A PART OF ALL THE "LATE NIGHT" SHOWS.
WE'RE GETTING IT DONE. >> Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU BUD.
I'M SO HAPPY. >> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING ON THE SHOW.
SETH MEYERS. "LATE NIGHT" WITH SETH MEYERS ON
NBC AND PEACOCK. RIGHT AFTER OUR SHOW.
JUST DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU'LL SEE MORE OF SETH.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANNIE MURPHY, EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS AN
EMMY-WINNING ACTRESS WHO STARS IN THE NEW SHOW, "KEVIN CAN F
HIMSELF," WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. ON AMC AND IS
STREAMING ON AMC PLUS. PLEASE WELCOME ANNIE MURPHY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** **
>> Jimmy: THEY LOVE YOU, COME ON, I LOVE YOU.
WE LOVE YOU. ANNIE, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
>> THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: AND THANKS FOR PLAYING
"TRUE CONFESSIONS" EARLIER. >> IT WAS A RUSH.
>> Jimmy: IT WAS. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE
BEEN ON OUR SHOW, CORRECT? >> YES.
YES. >> Jimmy: TECHNICALLY, RIGHT?
>> TECHNICALLY, YES. >> Jimmy: THE FIRST TIME YOU
WERE ON, YOU POSTED SOMETHING ON INSTAGRAM THAT I THOUGHT WAS
FUNNY. YOU SAID, "IF ANYONE WANTS
LESSONS IN THE ART OF BEING REALLY CHILL, AND GENERALLY
SUPER COOL, DUDE, JUST HOLLER AT ME.
NO REFUNDS." AND THIS IS YOU BACKSTAGE WHEN I
FIRST MET YOU. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN HERE IS YOU ZOOMED IN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME ON THE SHOW.
BUT I WAS HERE AS A GUEST OF EUGENE AND CATHERINE YEARS
BEFORE. >> Jimmy: I REMEMBER THIS.
>> AND JUST TO ADD TO THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THIS, MY FIRST
TIME MEETING YOU -- I HOPE YOU DON'T REMEMBER -- BUT EUGENE AND
CATHERINE WERE THERE AND I WAS KIND OF HIDING OUT IN THE GREEN
ROOM. AND CATHERINE --
>> Jimmy: I REMEMBER THIS. >> IN VERY CATHERINE FASHION,
WAS LIKE, "ANNIE, COME ON AND MEET JIMMY."
AND SO I KIND OF GOLLUMED OUT OF THE GREEN ROOM AND APPROACHED
YOU. >> Jimmy: GOLLUMED.
>> AND YOU WERE LIKE, "ANNIE, IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU.
YOU DO SUCH A GREAT JOB ON THE SHOW."
AND MY -- ALL OF MY INTERNAL ORGANS FELL OUT OF ME AND THEN,
LIKE, JUST VOWELS AND CONSONANTS SPILLED OUT OF MY MOUTH.
AND THEN I RAN, NOT WALKED, BACK TO THE GREEN ROOM.
YOU WERE STILL STANDING THERE. RAN BACK TO THE GREEN ROOM AND
PROMPTLY BURST INTO TEARS. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
AND THEN I WAS RECOUNTING THE STORY TO MY PARENTS AND MY
FATHER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE DISAPPOINTED IN ME.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS LIKE, "KID, FOR
JIMMY FALLON?" >> Jimmy: YES!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> "YOU CRIED FOR JIMMY FALLON?"
>> Jimmy: "YES, DAD!" >> AND SO I HAVE TO BE ON MY
BEST -- NO TEARS TONIGHT. NO.
DON'T DO IT. >> Jimmy: COME ON, GET OVER
HERE. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
LOOK AT YOU, COME ON. [ APPLAUSE ]
LOOK AT YOU. NO TEARS, NO TEARS, DAD!
NO TEARS, DAD! NO TEARS, DAD!
I LOVE THAT STORY. DAD, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YEAH, YOU CAN'T CRY HERE, MAN. WE LOVE YOU TOO MUCH.
>> SO DISAPPOINTED. >> Jimmy: BUT THAT'S SO FUNNY.
COME ON. THEN WE HAD YOU ON AND WE HAVE
TO DO THIS, REALLY, FOR WHEN WE TALK ABOUT THE SHOW.
WE HAVE TO SAY -- WE HAVE TO SHOW IT AND SAY, "YOU'RE ON THE
SHOW, 'SCHITT'S CREEK.'" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND WE HAVE TO SHOW THEM, LEGALLY.
"EW, DAVID," BECAME A CATCH PRASE OF YOURS.
DO PEOPLE JUST SCREAM THAT AT YOU NOW, WHICH IS ODD?
>> YES. >> Jimmy: EW?
>> AND I JUST FOUND OUT RECENTLY -- SOME WOMAN TOLD US
THAT I ONLY ACTUALLY SAY, "EW, DAVID," TWICE IN THE ENTIRE
SERIES. >> Jimmy: NO.
>> YES! AND I -- BUT I ALSO SAID, "UGH,
DAVID." OR LIKE, "WHY, DAVID?"
LIKE I -- >> Jimmy: YES, YES, YOU SAID IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> I TACKED DAVID ON TO WHATEVER
I POSSIBLY COULD. AND IT JUST KIND OF SPIRALED OUT
OF -- THIS "EW, DAVID" THING SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE PHENOMENAL. I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE JUST DOING
IMPRESSIONS OF YOU AND YOU'RE JUST --
YEAH. YOU HIT A HOME RUN.
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW SHOW, BECAUSE I CAN'T ACTUALLY
SAY THAT ON TV EITHER. >> YEAH, I'M SO SORRY.
>> Jimmy: BUT THIS IS A GREAT SHOW.
"KEVIN CAN BLANK HIMSELF." F HIMSELF.
IT IS A SITCOM. IT'S VERY FUNNY, BUT IT'S ALSO A
DRAMA. >> YES.
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU SET THIS UP?
>> IT'S A TRICKY ONE. >> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> OKAY, SO YOU KNOW THE SITCOM HUSBAND THAT WE'VE COME TO KNOW,
THE KIND OF SCHLUBBY BEER DRINKING, SPORTS LOVING DOOFUS?
>> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY, YES. >> IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM.
IT'S ABOUT HIS WIFE. AND WE FOLLOW HER INTO THIS
SECRET LIFE THAT SHE LEADS WHEN SHE'S NOT AROUND HIM.
AND WE FIND OUT THAT SHE IS VERY ANGRY, AND VERY FRUSTRATED AND
REALLY NEEDS A CHANGE. AND THAT CHANGE MAY OR MAY NOT
LEAD TO A MURDER PLOT AGAINST HER HUSBAND.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU GUYS WANT FUN? THIS IS FUN.
I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT, RIGHT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S THE GREAT ANNIE MURPHY IN
"KEVIN CAN F HIMSELF." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> BABE. >> YES.
>> CAN YOU GRAB US FRESHIES? >> ALLISON.
AVERT YOUR EYES. I CAN'T HAVE YOU LEAVING KEVIN
FOR ME. [ LAUGHTER ]
** [ TENSE MUSIC ]
[ GLASS BREAKING ] >> I'M FINE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S COOL.
THAT'S DIFFERENT. I LOVE IT.
ANNIE MURPHY. "KEVIN CAN F HIMSELF" AIRS
SUNDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. ON AMC AND IS STREAMING ON AMC PLUS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING
BACK TO THE SHOW. YOU'RE AWESOME.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE FROM
COLDPLAY. STICK AROUND EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] **
>> Jimmy: PERFORMING THEIR NEW SINGLE, "HIGHER POWER."
GIVE IT UP FOR COLDPLAY! **
* SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT *
* SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT
AND IT ISN'T ALL RIGHT * * I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT
AND I THINK MY SHOE'S UNTIED *
* I'M LIKE A BROKEN RECORD I'M LIKE A BROKEN RECORD *
* AND I'M NOT PLAYING RIGHT DROCER NEKORB A EKIL MI *
* 'TIL YOU TELL ME ON A HEAVENLY PHONE TO
HOLD TIGHT * * COME ON
COME ON * * COME ON
COME ON * * OH COME ON
COME ON COME ON
COME ON * * YEAH DON'T LET GO
HOLD TIGHT HOLD TIGHT
HOLD TIGHT * * HOLD TIGHT
OH IT'S ALL RIGHT IT'S ALL RIGHT SHE SAID
I GOT MY HANDS UP * * SHAKING JUST TO
LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE GOT
A HIGHER POWER * * GOT ME SINGING
EVERY SECOND DANCING EVERY HOUR
OH YEAH * * YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER POWER
AND YOU'RE REALLY SOMEONE I WANNA KNOW
OH * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** * THIS BOY IS ELECTRIC
THIS BOY IS ELECTRIC AND YOU'RE SPARKLING LIGHT
THE UNIVERSE CONNECTED * * AND I'M BUZZING NIGHT
AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT THIS JOY IS ELECTRIC
THIS JOY IS ELECTRIC * * AND YOU'RE
CIRCUITING THROUGH I'M SO HAPPY
THAT I'M ALIVE * * HAPPY I'M ALIVE
AT THE SAME TIME AS YOU CAUSE YOU'VE GOT
A HIGHER POWER * * GOT ME SINGING
EVERY SECOND DANCING EVERY HOUR
OH YEAH * * YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER POWER
AND YOU'RE REALLY SOMEONE I WANNA KNOW
I WANNA KNOW * * OH
YOU'VE GOT YEAH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
YOU'VE GOT * * YEAH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
YOU'VE GOT YEAH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
YOU'VE GOT * * OH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
YOU'VE GOT OH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
YOU'VE GOT * * HEY YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
YOU'VE GOT OH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER
HANDS UP SHAKING * * JUST TO LET YOU KNOW NOW
YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER POWER YOU'VE GOT ME
SINGING EVERY SECOND * * DANCING ANY HOUR *
OH YEAH YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER POWER
YOU'RE ONCE * * IN ANY LIFETIME
I'M GOING A MILLION MILES AN HOUR
WHEN FOR SO LONG * * I'D BEEN DOWN ON MY KNEES
'TIL YOUR LOVE SONG FILLED ME OVER AND OVER
FOR SO LONG * * I'D BEEN DOWN ON MY KNEES
'TIL YOUR LOVE SONG FLOATS ME ON *
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: COLDPLAY! "HIGHER POWER" IS OUT NOW!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
** >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO COLDPLAY,
COLDPLAY, AND COLDPLAY! >> SETH MEYERS AND ANNIE MURPHY.
>> Jimmy: YES, ANNIE AND SETH. THERE'S MORE SETH RIGHT AFTER
US. WE'RE ALL GOOD.
TWO, THREE, FOUR! **
* YOU'VE GOT A HIGHER POWER
** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]