>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - JULIANNE MOORE
DAVE BAUTISTA, MUSICAL GUEST TWENTY ONE PILOTS.
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1473!E >> Steve:
AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. I CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME! PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, ENJOY
YOURSELVES THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND EVERYBODY WATCHING AT HOME
THANK YOU. WELL, GUYS, THE WEEKEND KICKS OFF THE UNOFFICIAL START OF
SUMMER THAT'S RIGHT, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY.
>> Steve: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY ALL OF YOU, EXCEPT FOR THAT GUY IN YOUR OFFICE WHO SENT A WORK
E-MAIL AT 4:59 P.M [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU GO, "WE'RE NOT READING IT,
CARL." I HAVE A FEELING PEOPLE ARE GOING TO REALLY LET LOOSE THIS
WEEKEND. DON'T YOU HAVE THAT FEELING? [ CHEERS ]
BY THIS TIME TOMORROW THE CORNHOLE BOARDS WILL JUST BE TWO GUYS PASSED OUT WITH THEIR
MOUTHS OPEN. [ LAUGHTER ] LISTEN TO THIS
ACCORDING TO AAA, NEARLY 40 MILLION PEOPLE ARE EXPECTED TO TRAVEL 50 MILES OR MORE THIS
WEEKEND. WHEN ASKED WHERE THEY'RE GOING EVERYONE SAID, "ANYWHERE
LITERALLY. ANYWHERE ELSE. [ LAUGHTER ]
MEANWHILE, WITH SO MANY PEOPLE TRAVELING, THIS WEEKEND GAS PRICES ARE EXPECTED TO
SKYROCKET. YEAH, THE BAD NEWS IS GAS IS EXPENSIVE.
THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW
[ LAUGHTER ] CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW EXPENSIVE THE GAS IS
GAS IS SO EXPENSIVE WHEN I FILLED UP THIS MORNING A GUY IN A TUX WAS LIKE, "MIGHT I
RECOMMEND THE SUNOCO 92? [ LAUGHTER ] EXCELLENT CHOICE, MR. FALLON."
SPEAKING OF TRAVELING, A NEW SURVEY FINDS THAT THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WON'T TAKE A ROAD
TRIP WITHOUT THE PERFECT PLAYLIST AND 35% SAID THEY'D TURN THE
CAR AROUND IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE ONE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
WHAT'S MORE TROUBLING IS ONLY 8% SAID THEY'D TURN THE CAR AROUND IF THEY FORGOT ONE OF
THEIR KIDS >> Steve: WOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I CAN'T LISTEN TO MY MUSIC ANYWAY YEAH, YOU SPEND DAYS MAKING THE
PERFECT PLAYLIST, THEN YOU SPEND THE WHOLE TRIP TRYING TO CONNECT YOUR PHONE TO THE CAR'S
BLUETOOTH. IT'S REALLY FUN. [ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE TURN THE BLUETOOTH OFF! EVERYONE TURN -- NOW I GOT TO
PULL OVER. HERE WE GO THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN
EVERYONE TURN IT OFF GET THIS, ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL HOT DOG AND SAUSAGE
COUNCIL -- [ LAUGHTER ] 73% OF AMERICANS BELIEVE THAT
A BARBECUE IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT HOT DOGS I THINK THE BIGGER STORY HERE
IS THAT WE HAVE A NATIONAL HOT DOG AND SAUSAGE COUNCIL. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: SEND ME A T-SHIRT, MAN.
>> Steve: NUMBER ONE >> Jimmy: A LOT OF AMERICANS ARE GOING TO BARBECUES THIS
WEEKEND. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE GOOD BARBECUES.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE BAD ONES. SO WE ACTUALLY CAME UP WITH SOME CLUES, SOME WARNINGS, TO
HELP YOU GUYS REALIZE THAT YOU'RE AT A BAD ONE. SO IF YOU SEE THIS -- FOR
EXAMPLE, IF YOU'RE AT -- YOU'RE AT A BAD BARBECUE IF YOUR NEIGHBOR'S WEARING AN APRON
THAT SAYS "FRENCH KISS THE CHEF." [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
THAT'S DISGUST -- THAT'S GROSS >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH
HERE WE GO, THIS WARNING HERE. A 911 CALL INCLUDES THE WORDS "GRANDPA," "LAWN DART," AND
"IMPALE. [ APPLAUSE ] THAT MEANS YOU'RE AT A BAD
BARBECUE >> Steve: THAT'S A BAD ONE >> Jimmy: THIS IS A BAD ONE,
YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] HERE'S ANOTHER WARNING -- BAD
ONE. THE NEIGHBOR'S TEENAGE SON SNEAKING SHOTS OF LIGHTER
FLUID. >> Steve: OKAY >> Jimmy: DON'T HAVE HIM BURP
BY THE GRILL ALSO, HERE'S ANOTHER WARNING GOOD NEWS THERE'S BEER PONG.
BAD NEWS, IT'S WITH NATTY LIGHT SOUR SELTZER [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
>> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: THAT WAS A MIXED REACTION
SOMEONE OUT THERE LIKES IT [ LAUGHTER ] SOMEONE LIKES THAT
>> Steve: IS THAT REAL >> Jimmy: I'M NOT AFRAID OF IT I'LL TRY IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND, FINALLY, WARNING, A GUY WITH SEVEN FINGERS SAYS, "WHO
WANTS TO SHOOT OFF SOME FIREWORKS? JUST SOME WARNING SIGNS.
JUST A COUPLE. IF YOU SEE THOSE, JUST KNOW. WELL, CHANGING GEARS TODAY
SENATE REPUBLICANS VOTED TO BLOCK THE JANUARY 6th COMMISSION THAT WOULD
INVESTIGATE THE CAPITOL RIOTS. [ AUDIENCE BOOING AFTER THE VOTE REPUBLICANS
STAYED THEY'LL GLADLY EXPLAIN THEIR DECISION IN AN UPCOMING QANON -- I MEAN Q&A.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU.
THAT'S A GREAT CROWD. SENATE REPUBLICANS SAID THEY'D RATHER INVESTIGATE SOMETHING MORE
IMPORTANT, LIKE, WHY WASN'T PAUL RUDD IN THE "FRIENDS" REUNION?
COME ON! [ APPLAUSE ] THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.
HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS. RIGHT HERE THIS WEEKEND ALL NEW YORK BEACHES WILL BE OPEN AND
VACCINE BUSES WILL BE STATIONED ON A FEW OF THEM [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND JUST TO MAKE SURE THEY ATTRACT A CROWD, ALL THE VACCINE BUSES WILL PLAY THE
MR. SOFTEE JINGLE. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, THE VACCINE BUSES ARE
A GREAT IDEA BECAUSE WHEN THEY'RE DONE THEY CAN JUST TOSS THE NEEDLES ON THE BEACH WITH
ALL THE OTHERS [ AUDIENCE OOHS "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
[ LAUGHTER ] WE'RE AT THE BEACH!" >> Steve: HEY, I'M WITH THE
SAUSAGE COUNCIL. >> Jimmy: "THAT'S RIGHT. WE WORK FOR THE SAUSAGE
COUNCIL. WHAT HE SAID [ LAUGHTER ]
ANOTHER SIGN THAT WE'RE RETURNING TO NORMAL, COSTCO IS BRINGING BACK THEIR FREE
SAMPLES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DON'T WORRY, THOUGH, THEY'RE
STILL BEING CAREFUL. NOW A COSTCO EMPLOYEE WILL JUST SLINGSHOT A CHEESE CUBE INTO
YOUR MOUTH [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS,
AMERICAN AIRLINES JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE PARTNERING WITH ROSETTA STONE
TO OFFER LANGUAGE COURSES TO PASSENGERS DURING FLIGHTS. >> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK SOMEONE KICKING YOUR SEAT IS TOUGH, IMAGINE SITTING NEXT TO SOME
GUY SOUNDING OUT FRENCH FOR SIX HOURS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BON J -- BON JOI -- BON JOAR AUREVWARE? AURVWAR.
AURVWAR. AURVWAR.
[ LAUGHTER ] BONJAR
AURVOIR. JONBAR
JOHN BAR JARVOIR, EVERYONE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, THE AIRLINE'S
ALSO OFFERING COURSES LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY. SO FLYING ISN'T AWKWARD ENOUGH
JUST WAIT TILL A STRANGER'S SNAPPING PHOTOS OF YOU SLEEPING
[ LAUGHTER ] "YOU LOOK -- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND PEACEFUL."
WELL, THIS MADE ME LAUGH YESTERDAY A CNN REPORTER WAS PREPARING FOR A LIVE SHOT WHEN
HE REALIZED A CICADA WAS ON HIM. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
IN THE SAME BLOCK OUT OF THIS OR GOING TO TAKE A BREAK [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
OKAY [ AUDIENCE OHS ] OH
OH, GOD. [ BLEEP ]. [ BLEEP ] CICADA
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: EVERYONE IN THE CONTROL ROOM WAS LIKE, THEY
JUST SAT THERE LIKE, "LET'S JUST SEE HOW THIS -- LET'S SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT
LET'S NOT SAY ANYTHING." SPEAKING OF CICADAS, A A PHOTOGRAPHER IN VIRGINIA HAS
RECENTLY PICKED UP AN INTERESTING NEW HOBBY. CHECK THIS OUT
>> WE STARTED WITH MY SON'S FIRETRUCK. I DECIDED TO DO A CICADA ROCK
BAND CICADAS DOING ARCHERY. [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS CICADA WAS LIFTING. LOOK, PING-PONG. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OKAY SO CLEARLY NOT EVERYONE MADE IT THROUGH QUARANTINE, OKAY
[ LAUGHTER ] >> PING-PONG >> Jimmy: OKAY GUYS, FINALLY,
AS I MENTIONED, MONDAY IS MEMORIAL DAY AND PEOPLE ARE EXCITED TO GO TO BARBECUES
AGAIN. I LOVE A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED POTLUCK, WHERE EVERYONE BRINGS
A SIDE BUT THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO EAT YOUR
SIDE HERE, LET ME EXPLAIN WITH A "TONIGHT SHOW TINY SONG.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * IT'S MY FIRST BARBECU
IN TWO YEARS CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY FRIENDS AND CRACK SOME BEERS *
* DAVE BROUGHT FRUIT SALA ANN BROUGHT RUM LEMONADE BUT NO ONE'S TOUCHED THE THING
THAT I MADE * * SOMEBODY EAT MY CARROT SLAW PLEASE SOMEBODY EA
MY CARROT SLAW * * HEARD SOMEONE ASK HEY WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO BE
GLAD MY GRANDMA'S NOT HERE 'CAUSE IT'S HER RECIPE * * SOMEBODY EAT MY CARROT SLAW
SOMEBODY EAT MY CARROT SLA NO ONE PUT IT ON THEIR PLATE EVEN THOUGH I'M RIGHT HERE *
* SAYING "DOESN'T THI LOOK GREAT NOW I'M LEAVING THE PART
CAN'T LOOK PEOPLE * * IN THE EY SO I'LL JUST THROW I
IN MY FREEZER TILL THE FOURTH OF JULY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: TWO, THREE, FOUR * WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
*
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH, WE HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN?
WE HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN >> Jimmy: WE'RE GONNA DO IT AGAIN?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WOW. THAT'S WHAT I CALL SAUSAGE
COUNCIL. >> Jimmy: OH YEAH. WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU
TONIGHT. JOINING US IN STUDIO, SHE STARS IN THE NEW APPLE TV PLUS SERIES
"LISEY'S STORY." JULIANNE MOORE IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ALSO JOINING US IN STUDIO -- IN STUDIO FROM THE NEW FILM "ARMY OF THE
DEAD," DAVE BAUTISTA IS HERE HE'S A STUD! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE HAVE GREAT MUSIC FROM TWENTY ONE PILOTS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
TWENTY ONE PILOTS! PLUS ALL NEW "THANK YOU NOTES" LATER IN THE SHOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GUYS, I WANTED TO GIVE A QUICK SHOUT OUT TO OUR FRIEND
LADY GAGA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BECAUSE WE LOVE HER, AND THIS
WEEK IS THE 10th ANNIVERSARY OF HER ALBUM "BORN THIS WAY." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND SHE'S BEEN A GREAT FRIEND OF THE SHOW. IT'S HER FIRST NUMBER ONE
ALBUM. THIS RECORD IS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO SO MANY PEOPLE.
AND WE JUST WANTED TO GIVE IT SOME LOVE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GUYS, THIS SUNDAY IS THE INDY 500. YEAH
[ CHEERS ] NOW, AS YOU KNOW, AFTER THE RACE THE WINNER GETS A TROPHY.
BUT THEY ALSO GIVE OUT AWARDS BEFORE THE RACE, TOO I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN.
IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SUPERLATIVES."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * TONIGHT SHO SUPERLATIVES *
>> Jimmy: OUR FIRST DRIVER IS ALEX PALOU HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO
MOVE THE STEERING WHEEL WITH HIS MIND." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
IT'S REALLY JUST LEFT TURNS. NEXT UP IS SAGE KARAM. HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO
HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL DEVOTED TO TRACTOR PRANKS. [ APPLAUSE ]
NEXT UP IS PATO O'WARD HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO BE SETH MacFARLANE PLAYING
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS IN A A 'TWILIGHT' MOVIE." META
>> Steve: VERY SPECIFIC. [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: META
>> Steve: VERY SPECIFIC. VERY SPECIFIC AWARD. >> Jimmy: NEXT UP IS
WILL POWER HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO SPEND HIS WHOLE DAY SAYING,
'NO, I'M NOT KIDDING, MY NAME IS WILL POWER.'" [ APPLAUSE >> Steve: KIND OF SLAW
>> Jimmy: IT'S KIND OF SLAW-ISH YEAH
GOT A SLAW CONSISTENCY TO IT >> Steve: YEAH OOH, THAT'S A NEW STYLE.
THAT'S LIKE HARRY STYLES >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD SWOOP, YEAH
I LIKE THAT. >> Steve: YOU THINK YOU CAN GLUE IT THERE?
THERE YOU GO DOUBLE SPIT. OOH, NICE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT'S WHAT THE KIDS ARE DOING OH, THE EDDIE MUNSTER.
[ CHEERS ] OH, IT'S A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: I'M NOT FINISHED MAKING FUN OF THESE OTHER PEOPLE
[ LAUGHTER ] NEXT IS UP SEBASTIEN BOURDAIS. HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO
HAVE WORN THE SAME PAIR OF GLASSES SINCE HE WAS FIVE. [ APPLAUSE ]
OH, THAT'S AMAZING I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE DO THAT >> Steve: THERE YOU GO
THERE YOU GO [ CHEERS ] OOH.
THERE YOU GO THAT'S GOT BODY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * OH, YEAH
[ CHEERS ] IT'S MEMORIAL DAY. [ AIR HORN ]
HEY. HOW'S YOUR JOB WITH THE COUNCIL GOING?
>> Jimmy: LET'S DO THIS NEXT JOKE MAYBE WE'LL DO THIS NEXT JOKE.
MAYBE WE WON'T [ LAUGHTER ] THIS NEXT DRIVER IS CONOR DALY
HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO LAUGH BY SAYING 'I DON'T GET IT.'" [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S PRETTY COOL >> Steve: WHATEV >> Jimmy: MY TRUCK'S PRETTY
COOL NEXT UP IS COLTON HERTA. HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO
TAKE OFF HIS HELMET IN SLOW MOTION AND SHAKE OUT HIS HAIR. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WHATEVER THAT WAS ALL RIGHT THIS ONE IS FOR
MARCUS ERICSSON. HE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO BE A VILLAIN IN THE
STRAIGHT-TO-VHS 'MIGHTY DUCK' SEQUEL." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AND FINALLY OUR LAST DRIVER IS STEFAN WILSON. HE WAS VOTED "50-YEAR-OLD
VIRGIN." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU GO, GUYS
THOSE ARE YOUR INDY 500 SUPERLATIVES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "THANK
YOU NOTES. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, GUYS TODAY'S FRIDAY
AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP WITH SOME PERSONAL STUFF. YOU KNOW, I CHECK MY INBOX, I
RETURN SOME E-MAILS, AND I OF COURSE SEND OUT THANK YOU NOTES.
AND I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND [ CHEERS ] I THOUGHT MAYBE IF YOU GUYS
WOULDN'T MIND I JUST LIKE TO WRITE IN MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW.
IS THAT COOL [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU
NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE * >> Steve: WOW.
NICE >> Jimmy: CHAMPAGNE JAMES. *
THANK YOU, PROM POSES. FOR LOOKING LIKE STEP ONE OF THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER
INSTRUCTIONS [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: YOU MISSED IT.
THERE WAS AN ENGLISH GUY OUT HERE BUSTING GUITARS BEFORE YOU CAME
[ LAUGHTER ] SOME SUPER COOL ENGLISH GUY, LIKE UNBUTTONED SHIRT.
LIKE, LAID IT ALL OUT, MAN >> Jimmy: I KNOW THAT DUDE HE'S SUPER SCHOOL.
>> Steve: YEAH, HE'S SUPER COOL, MAN. >> Jimmy: HE COMES OUT, HE
TELLS JOKES, DOESN'T CARE IF THEY'RE COOL, FUNNY OR NOT >> Steve: HE DOESN'T --- OUT,
MAN. HE DOESN'T CARE. >> Jimmy: HE SMASHED A GUITAR?
>> Steve: YEAH, HE SMASHED A A GUITAR >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S ROCK AND
ROLL, MAN. >> Steve: YOU KNOW THAT HE GIVES ZERO Fs.
[ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS >> Jimmy: HIS NAME IS STEVE
ZERO Fs? >> YES STEVE ZEROFS
>> Jimmy: SEVE ZEROEFFS. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: I KNOW THAT DUDE
SEVE >> Steve: SEVE >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: LIKE SEV, BUT WITH AN "E." >> Jimmy: YEAH
SEVE ZEROEFFS. >> Steve: YEAH, STEVE ZEROEFFS, HA
>> Jimmy: I WISH I SAW HIM >> Steve: OH YOU MISSED HIM. >> Jimmy: WELL, I DVRED THE
SHOW SO I CAN REWIND IT >> Steve: OKAY, WATCH IT BACK.
BECAUSE HE'S COOL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO POST IT
ON YOUTUBE, #COOL. >> Steve: YEAH, THERE YOU GO [ LAUGHTER ]
* >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, AMERICAN FLAG TOOTHPICKS, FOR MAKING IT
LOOK LIKE I CLAIMED MY TURKEY BURGER ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES.
[ APPLAUSE ] * THANK YOU, COOLERS FULL OF
BEER, FOR MAKING IT FEEL LIKE I'M PLAYING AN ADULT CLAW MACHINE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: SOUR SOUR BUD LIGHT
NATTY LIGHT SOUR SELTZER -- WHAT IS IT >> Jimmy: RANCID BUDWEISER
>> Steve: OH, MY GOSH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT'S A NEW FLAVOR.
>> Steve: IT'S GONE OFF. >> Jimmy: NO, TASTE IT IT'S REALLY GOOD
>> Steve: OH, MMM. >> Jimmy: IT'S GOOD FOR YOU. IT'S LIKE A PROBIOTIC.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: DUDE WASN'T EVEN WEARING A TIE.
>> Jimmy: REALLY >> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY BUTTONS DOWN >> Steve: IT'S CRAZY
>> Jimmy: DID HE HAVE CHEST HAIR >> Steve: YEAH
A LOT. [ LAUGHTER ] NOT SO MUCH BUT ENOUGH
>> Jimmy: ENOUGH ENOUGH, ENOUGH >> Steve: UM, YOU KNOW
>> Jimmy: YEAH. I KNOW >> Steve: ASK ME HOW MUCH CHEST HAIR HE HAD?
>> Jimmy: HOW MUCH CHEST HAIR DID HE HAVE? >> Steve: ENOUGH
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT GOTCHA [ LAUGHTER ] *
THANK YOU, GRADUATION, FOR BEING THE ONLY TIME IT'S NORMAL TO TAKE LIFE ADVICE FROM
SOMEONE IN A SILK ROBE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COLUMBIA
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, MOSQUITO
REPELLANT CANDLE, FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING NICE TO SMELL WHILE I CONTINUE TO GET ATTACKED BY
MOSQUITOS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT DON'T WORK.
* THANK YOU, CORN HOLDER SHAPED LIKE CORN, FOR BEING THE
VEGETABLE VERSION OF A ROCK STAR WEARING HIS OWN BAND'S SHIRT.
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE KORN
YOU ARE -- YOU'RE IN KORN. >> Steve: THE BAND KORN. *
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, COUPLES VACATIONS, FOR ALMOST ALWAYS ENDING THE SAME WAY, FOUR
SINGLES VACATIONS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT.
THOSE ARE MY THANK YOU NOTES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JULIANNE MOORE, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST
TONIGHT IS AN OSCAR AND EMMY-WINNING ACTRESS SHE STARS IN THE NEW SERIES
"LISEY'S STORY," WHICH PREMIERES FRIDAY JUNE 4th ON APPLE TV PLUS.
EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME JULIANNE MOORE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * >> Jimmy: JULIANNE MOORE
OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> GOODNESS, SO NICE TO BE
HERE THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> Jimmy: DUDE, LOOK AT THAT
THEY LOVE YOU. WE ALL LOVE YOU. HOW'S THAT FEEL?
WHEN THE AUDIENCE -- >> IT FEELS CRAZY. I MEAN, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE BEEN ON A TV SHOW IN, YOU KNOW, A YEAR AND A HALF OR WHATEVER
RIGHT? IN A ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S BIZARRE >> IT'S AMAZING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH >> Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE
>> I'M SO HAPPY TOO. THANKS FOR HAVING ME THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: EVERY TIME YOU COME ON, AND THANK YOU FOR DOING OUR SHOW, I MEAN, DOING ALL
THOSE -- IT WAS JUST CRAZY TIMES. YOU WERE SAYING OF COURSE YOU
WERE GETTING BACK TO WORK. >> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: BUT EVERYTHING WAS
SHUT DOWN. AND YOU WERE -- YOU SAID THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR LAUNDRY ROOM
INTO LIKE TEN DIFFERENT ROOMS. >> WE WERE -- WE WERE IN OUR LITTLE TINY HOUSE OUT IN LONG
ISLAND >> Jimmy: YUP. >> AND IT WAS JUST ME AND MY
HUSBAND AND OUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER AND WE ONLY HAD ONE LITTLE
SPACE WHERE WE COULD ALL WORK AND THAT WAS THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IT WAS ALSO WHERE MY
HUSBAND'S OFFICE WAS AND IT WAS WHERE I DID YOGA SO MY DAUGHTER DID HOMEWORK.
THAT'S WHERE I RECORDED AN ANIMATED MOVIE IN THIS LAUNDRY ROOM
>> Jimmy: WOW. DID YOU REALLY >> YEAH, YEAH.
AND THEY WOULD BE LIKE, "DO YOU HAVE A SPACE THAT'S A LITTLE LESS LIVE?
A LITTLE LESS ECHOEY I'M LIKE, "NO. >> Jimmy: NO
>> "THIS IS IT." >> Jimmy: NO, WE FOUND A NEW ROOM DURING THIS WHOLE THING
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> WE STICK TOWELS UNDER THE DOOR
>> Jimmy: THIS IS WHERE WE WERE AT >> YEAH, THAT IS IT.
AND WE'D ROTATE IN AND OUT OF THERE 'CAUSE YEAH, YOU KNOW. YEAH
>> Jimmy: IS THIS SPIRIT IS THAT -- >> "SPIRIT UNTAMED."
YEAH >> Jimmy: "SPIRIT UNTAMED. I'VE READ ABOUT THIS
>> YOUR DAUGHTERS WILL LOVE THIS >> Jimmy: MY KIDS LOVE ARE INTO
"SPIRIT. THEY LOVE "SPIRIT. >> YEAH, THEY LOVE HORSES AND
ALL THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: NEXT FRIDAY YOUR NEW SERIES "LISEY'S STORY" COMES OUT.
>> MM-HMM. >> Jimmy: THIS IS STEPHEN KING >> STEPHEN KING, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS NOT YOUR FIRST FORAY INTO SCARY >> NO.
IT'S NOT MY FIRST SCARY MOVIE EVENT. >> Jimmy: NO, YOUR FIRST SCARY
MOVIE WAS, EVERYONE REMEMBERS. >> OH, SURE. YOU'LL REMEMBER THIS ONE
>> Jimmy: "TALES FROM THE DARK SIDE," THE MOVIE LOOK AT YOU THERE.
>> YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ME.
>> Jimmy: NOW THAT IS YOU SOMEWHERE UNDER THERE?
AND WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT THIS >> WELL YOU KNOW WHAT'S
INTERESTING ABOUT THIS IS THAT THIS IS A PART OF THE MOVIE -- I REALLY REMEMBER THIS BECAUSE
THIS IS A PART OF THE MOVIE I DIDN'T THINK THAT I WAS IN IT WAS MY FIRST MOVIE, THIS
HORROR MOVIE, AND WE WERE SHOOTING IT IN YONKERS I WAS SO EXCITED TO GET THIS
HORROR MOVIE >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND I HAVE A TENDENCY EVEN
NOW NOT TO READ ANYTHING BUT THE DIALOGUE YOU KNOW, WHEN I GET A SCRIPT.
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE STAGE DIRECTIONS I DON'T LIKE HEARING, YOU KNOW,
"SHE WALKS DOWN THE STREET JAUNTILY." I KNOW I'LL WALK DOWN THE
STREET I MIGHT NOT BE JAUNTY. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY
THINK. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE ACTING. >> I'M GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT.
RIGHT? SO I DON'T READ ANY OF THE STAGE DIRECTIONS
SO ON THIS JOB, IT WAS A REALLY QUICK JOB, I FINISHED AND I GOT KILLED BY THE MUMMY AND I WENT
OVER TO THE DIRECTOR AND SAY GOOD-BYE AND THANK YOU FOR THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY.
AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU'RE NOT DONE." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I'M LIKE "NO, THIS IS MY LAST SCENE. HE GOES, "NO, NO
YOU DIDN'T FINISH READING THE SCRIPT DID YOU?" [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE -- BECAUSE I TURN INTO A MUMMY AT THE END >> Jimmy: YEAH, COME BACK.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND I COME BACK AND I KILL SOMEBODY ELSE.
BUT IT WAS ALL IN STAGE DIRECTIONS AND I NEVER READ IT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO IT WAS SO INCREDIBLY UNPROFESSIONAL OF ME
>> Jimmy: BUT LOOK AT YOU -- >> I DIDN'T READ THE SCRIPT. >> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT LOOK AT YOU
NOW. >> AND THIS IS - >> Jimmy: IT'S ALL WORKED OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ] I LOST MY VOICE EARLIER IN THE WEEK
>> I KNOW. IT SOUNDS GOOD SOUNDS SEXY.
>> Jimmy: IT IS SEXY, RIGHT? >> YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SEXY VOICE >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. PLEASE TELL MY WIFE THAT
>> SEXY FALLON [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, THANK YO
WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE, SEXY FALLON BUT YOU SCREAMED BEFORE.
DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS >> YOU CAN'T SCREAM WITHOUT LOSING YOUR VOICE.
>> Jimmy: YOU JUST CAN'T >> I WOULD HAVE TO -- THE DIRECTOR OF "LISEY'S STORY"
WOULD ALWAYS -- I WOULD SAY PLEASE SAVE THE SCREAMING. YOU WANT ME TO DO UNTIL FRIDAY
NIGHT BECAUSE I'M GOING TO NEED TWO DAYS TO RECOVER. SO BECAUSE I'D ALWAYS BLOW OUT
MY VOICE AND I WANTED IT TO BE BETTER ON A MONDAY BUT THEN LIKE -- SO EVERY
FRIDAY HE'D BE LIKE, "YOU READY? GOING TO DO SOME SCREAMING."
BUT THIS ONE WEEKEND I HAD AN AUDITION FOR "DEAR EVAN HANSEN" THE NEXT DAY
SO WAS LIKE -- [ CHEERS ] YEAH
SO WAS LIKE, "SCREAM." AND I'M LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO SCREAM."
HE'S LIKE, "SCREAM." AND I WAS LIKE, AAAAAH [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HE WAS LIKE -- "THAT'S YOUR SCREAM? AAAAH.
>> I WAS LIKE -- * I HAVE AN AUDITION * * CAN'T BLOW OU
MY VOICE * >> Jimmy: YEAH HOW'D THE AUDITION GO?
>> I MEAN, YOU KNOW, HOPEFULLY IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I DID GET THE JOB >> Jimmy: YOU GOT THE PART YEAH
>> I GOT THE JOB SO THAT WAS GREAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YES, I SAW THE TRAILER. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THE TRAILER CAME OUT -- >> IT'S SUCH A GOOD TRAILER,
RIGHT? >> Jimmy: OH, DUDE THAT GUY. >> AND BEN PLATT IS A GENIUS
>> Jimmy: BEN PLATT IS INSANE. "LISEY'S STORY." >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS BASED ON A A STEPHEN KING BOOK, VERY POPULAR.
HOW DO WE DESCRIBE IT? >> OKAY. SO LISEY IS A WOMAN WHO'S
MARRIED TO A FAMOUS WRITER WHO HAS -- AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY YOU REALIZE HE'S BEEN
DEAD FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AND SO SHE'S KIND OF LIVING HER LIFE BY HERSELF BUT SHE'S
GETTING ALL THESE WEIRD MESSAGES FROM HER PAST AT THE SAME TIME THIS OTHER
GUY, ONE OF HER HUSBAND'S FANS, HE'S A HORROR WRITER, IS STALKING HER
SO IT'S KIND OF A REALLY COMPLICATED PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR DRAMA
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> IT'S GOOD >> Jimmy: OF COURSE IT IS.
YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT'S ON APPLE TV PLUS.
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP.
HERE'S JULIANNE MOORE IN "LISEY'S STORY." TAKE A LOOK.
CAME TODAY 'CAUSE I WAS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR PICTURE IN THE HORLICK'S YEARBOOK
PICTURE OF THE HERO WHO SAVES A FAMOUS WRITER'S LIFE BUT I THINK REALITY YOU RAN LIKE A
A RABBIT WHO CAME BACK, THOUGH, TO GET YOUR PICTURE TAKEN AND GRAB THE CREDIT.
I MEAN, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT I NEVER CARED ABOUT CREDIT
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT AT ALL, BUT YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN THERE AND YOU ARE NEVER GOING
SEE HIS PAPERS >> YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A A RESTAURANT HOSTESS WHEN YOU
CAUGHT HIS EYE THE FACT THAT YOU SLEPT IN HIS BED DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT
TO WITHHOLD HIS UNWRITTEN PAPERS FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD.
>> OH, MY GOD. >> Jimmy: JULIANNE MOORE, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "LISEY'S STORY" PREMIERES FRIDAY, JUNE 4th ON APPLE TV
PLUS JULIANNE AND I ARE PLAYING MAD LIB THEATER AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND YOU ALL RIGHT? >> I'M OKAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK
I AM HANGING OUT WITH JULIANNE MOORE, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HER NEW SERIES "LISEY'S STORY" PREMIERES ON APPLE TV PLUS JUNE 4th
NOW JULIANNE, I WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING FUN WITH YOU I THOUGHT WE COULD ACT OUT A
A DRAMATIC SCENE TOGETHER. >> OH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
I LOVE ACTING. >> Jimmy: BUT FIRST, WE HAVE TO FILL IN THE BLANKS
IT IS TIME FOR "MAD LIB THEATER. HERE WE GO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * MAD LIB THEATER YEAH *
>> Jimmy: HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS. I'M GOING TO ASK YOU FOR SOME
SILLY NOUNS, VERBS, ADJECTIVES, ETC. AND AS WE DO THAT THEY'LL BE
WRITTEN ON THE CUE CARDS AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A DRAMATIC "MAD LIBS" SCENE.
YOU READY FOR THIS >> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: OKAY
MALE FIRST AND LAST NAME >> BARACK OBAMA. >> Jimmy: THREE FIRST NAMES.
>> CHARLIE, PINKIE, BEYONCE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OKAY
AN ADJECTIVE >> OH, SMASHINGLY. >> Jimmy: OH, SMASHING. >> OR
SMASHING >> Jimmy: SMASHING >> Jimmy: THREE WORDS THAT
RHYME. >> KNICKS, KICKS, LICKS. >> Jimmy: KNICKS, KICKS, AND
LICKS. OKAY ANOTHER ADJECTIVE.
>> FLUFFY. >> Jimmy: YEAH A NUMBER
>> 3,928 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WOW.
A PRICE. >> $999.99 >> Jimmy: OH
[ LAUGHTER ] SOMETHING GRAY, SOMETHING BLUE, AND SOMETHING GREEN.
GRAY >> A DOLPHIN >> Jimmy: DOLPHIN.
WHAT'S BLUE? >> GATORADE. >> Jimmy: YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND SOMETHING GREEN? >> MINT CHIP ICE CREAM >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY JAM.
>> YEAH, RIGHT >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY JAM. A PLURAL NOUN.
>> COUCHES [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: A VERB ENDING IN ING
>> SHAVING >> Jimmy: PLURAL BODY PART >> ASS CHEEKS.
[ LAUGHTER ] * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS THE SPEED ROUND. >> Jimmy: ANIMAL >> AARDVARKS
>> Jimmy: THE SOUND A HORSE WOULD MAKE >> WHINNY.
>> Jimmy: FAVORITE DINNER FOOD >> SALMON. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: CARTOON CHARACTER OR MASCOT
>> LIGHTNING McQUEEN >> Jimmy: ADJECTIVE. >> UM, DUMB.
>> Jimmy: YEAH PLURAL TYPE OF ANIMAL. >> POODLES
>> Jimmy: CELEBRITY. >> BRAD PITT >> Jimmy: YEAR AND MODEL OF
YOUR FIRST CAR >> VOLVO, 1995 >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YEAH! >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT PERFECT. WE HAVE FILLED OUT THE WORDS
ARE YOU READY TO PERFORM OUR SCENE? >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: LET'S GO
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO QVC. I'M YOUR HOST, BARACK OBAMA. AND WITH ME TODAY IS GLAMOUR
GURU CHARLIE PINKIE BEYONCE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CHARLIE.
>> I'M GLAD TO BE HERE, BARACK OBAMA TODAY WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
SOME OF THE MOST SMASHING TRENDS FOR THIS SUMMER >> Jimmy: KNICKS, KICKS, LICKS
I'M SO EXCITED [ LAUGHTER ] >> I AM TOO.
NOW, FIRST UP WE HAVE THESE FLUFFY SUNGLASSES. >> Jimmy: THEY REALLY ARE.
THEY REALLY ARE. >> YEAH. OH, THEY'RE BRAND NEW THIS
SEASON AND AVAILABLE IN 3,928 EASY PAYMENTS OF $999.99 YEAH
>> Jimmy: WOW INTERESTING. THAT'S VERY EASY PAYMENTS. THEY COME IN MANY DIFFERENT
COLORS, INCLUDING DOLPHIN GRAY, GATORADE BLUE, AND OF COURSE THE MOST POPULAR, MINT CHIP ICE
CREAM GREEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THEY MAY LOOK LIKE YOUR
TYPICAL SUNGLASSES, BUT NO, THEY'RE NOT. >> Jimmy: NO WAY
>> THESE SUNGLASSES ARE MADE FROM 100% RECYCLED COUCHES >> Jimmy: INTERESTING.
THEY'RE THE PERFECT THING TO WEAR WHILE SHAVING ON THE BEACH.
I WILL SAY THAT. OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE NEXT HERE OH, LOOK AT THIS RIGHT HERE.
>> WHOO! FEAST YOUR ASS CHEEKS ON THIS VITAMIX MARGARITA BLENDER HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IT IS OUR NEWEST MODEL THAT USES
AARDVARK-POWERED MOTOR [ APPLAUSE ] >> THAT GOES FROM THE SPEED OF
ZERO TO WHINNY [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I JUST WANT EVERYONE
TO KNOW THE REASON YOUR MARGARITAS ARE SO EXCEPTIONAL IS BECAUSE YOUR SECRET
INGREDIENT IS SALMON [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S TRUE, BARACK OBAMA
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: LET'S GIVE IT A WHIRL HERE
COME ON. [ BLENDER GRINDING ] DO YOU HAVE ANY VACATION PLANS
THIS SUMMER? >> OH, YES I'M GOING TO VISIT MY COLLEGE
FRIEND, LIGHTNING McQUEEN. >> Jimmy: OKAY LET'S POUR IT INTO THESE
GLASSES RIGHT HERE >> OH HERE, I HAVE ONE. >> Jimmy: OH, PERFECT
UNBELIEVABLE LOOK, AS ALWAYS, WE WILL DO OUR CHEERSING LIKE WE ALWAYS DO --
WE'VE STILL GOT TIME >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WE STILL HAVE TIME
OKAY, CHEERS >> CHEERS -- CHEERS TO DUMB POODLES.
>> Jimmy: CHEERS TO BRAD PITT AND CHEERS TO VOLVO '95. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
END SCENE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. THANK YOU CHARLIE.
I'M BARACK OBAMA WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DAVE BAUTISTA, EVERYONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A
A TALENTED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE BIG NEW FILM "ARMY OF THE DEAD."
>> WOOH! >> Jimmy: WHICH IS IN -- YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WAS SUCH A GREAT SCREAM OH MY GOD, IT ALMOST SOUNDED LIKE A HAWK WAS IN HERE.
AAUW [ LAUGHTER ] "ARMY OF THE DEAD" WHICH IS IN
SELECT THEATERS AND ON NETFLIX RIGHT NOW. PLEASE WELCOME DAVE BAUTISTA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME.
THAT'S A STAR RIGHT THERE, BUD IT IS GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE >> I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE
I'VE WANTED TO BE HERE FOR YEARS. >> Jimmy: I WANTED TO KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I KNOW YOU FROM THE MOVIES
I KNOW YOU FROM "AVENGERS," "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
BUT YOU HAVE A VERY INTERESTING STORY BECAUSE IT STARTED WITH WRESTLING, RIGHT
>> YEAH, YEAH. [ CHEERS ] >> Jimmy: WAS IT THE PLAN OR
WAS -- >> NO, NO. [ CHEERS ]
HONESTLY, I -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOT TO FEEL
GOOD THOUGH, RIGHT >> IT FEELS GOOD >> Jimmy: YOU WANTED TO BE AN
ACTOR FIRST? >> NO, NO. IT'S WEIRD, MAN.
I STUMBLED ONTO THINGS I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE I WAS ATHLETIC TILL I WAS, LIKE,
16-YEARS-OLD YEAH I GREW UP -- I DIDN'T GROW UP
WITH SPORTS. SO I MOVED FROM SAN FRANCISCO TO D.C., BACK TO D.C. TO LIVE
WITH MY DAD. AND SO NOW I'M IN THE SUBURBS, AND I HAVE ACCESS TO SPORTS.
THE ONLY OTHER TWO FILIPINOS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL WERE ON THE WRESTLING TEAM SO, THEY ASKED
ME TO COME OUT REALLY BECAUSE I WAS FILIPINO BUT I WENT OUT AND I STARTED
JUST LIKE STICKING GUYS. I WAS LIKE LAUNCHING GUYS. LIKE, "HEY, I'M PRETTY GOOD AT
THIS." >> Jimmy: WOW. >> I STUMBLED INTO ACTING AS
WELL I NEVER SET OUT TO BE AN ACTOR BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS VERY SHY,
AND INTROVERTED KID. AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE PERFORMING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WILD. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: IS IT TOUGH ON YOUR
BRAIN TO HAVE THIS MUCH ATTENTION? >> I'M A SOCIALLY AWKWARD
PERSON I'M AN INTROVERTED PERSON. SO SOMETIMES IT'S VERY
OVERWHELMING SO WHEN I'M DONE WITH THIS, LITERALLY, I GO HOME, SECLUDE,
MYSELF AND LIVE VERY PRIVATELY >> Jimmy: AND JUST - [ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU EVER GO HOME AND -- I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO SAY THIS, BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT AS A JOKE
BUT ARE YOU GOING TO GO HOME AND PLAY WITH YOURSELF [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE SUCH A BIG GUY I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT WHAT DOES THIS GUY DO?
>> THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURES THIS IS WHY -- THIS IS JUST TO
LET PEOPLE KNOW. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] >> Jimmy: WAIT
WHOA I LOVE THAT. THAT'S A GREAT TOY
THIS MUST BE KIND OF A COOL THING TO MAKE TOYS OF YOU. >> IT'S PRETTY COOL.
BECAUSE IT TURNS ME INSTANTLY INTO LIKE A LITTLE KID >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHY NOT?
AND PLAY AND HERE YOU ARE IN "ARMY OF THE DEAD."
IT GOT A HAWK SCREECH EARLIER. BUT THIS IS ZACH SNYDER. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT DUDE, HE'S AWESOME. >> HE'S SO AWESOME
I LOVE THIS DUDE FOR A LOT OF DIFFERENT REASONS. WE MET -- SORRY.
I FEEL LIKE I'M FLASHING EVERYBODY. >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO
I THINK IT'S -- NO, WE LOVE IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I SAW YOU COME OUT OF YOUR
TIE EARLIER. >> Jimmy: BECAUSE I TRIED TO OUT-STUD YOU
WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER. [ CHEERS ] >> SEXY MUSIC.
NO STOP IT. *
OH, MAN. >> Jimmy: NOT QUITE THE SAME LOOK
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LOOK AT ME COMPARED TO LOOKING AT YOU
THAT'S A MOVIE STAR. THIS GUY JUST GOT ROBBED BY HIS UBER DRIVER.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SO I WANTED TO DO -- ORIGINALLY I WANTED TO DO THIS
OTHER FILM WITH ZACH, AND I RAN INTO HIS AGENT AT A PARTY. AND HE TOLD ME THE MOVIE WASN'T
GOING ANYWHERE, BUT HE SAID ZACH'S NEXT FILM IS "ARMY OF THE DEAD."
IT'S LIKE A ZOMBIE HEIST AND I WAS LIKE, "OH IT SOUNDS GREAT, BUT NOT FOR ME.
I JUST REALLY HAD A CHIP ON MY SHOULDER TO PROVE MYSELF AS AN ACTOR.
AND THEN IT CAME BACK AROUND, AND ZACH ACTUALLY ASKED ME TO READ THE SCRIPT.
AND HE SAID HE WAS INTERESTED IN ME PLAYING THE LEAD AND I SAID, "MAN, IT'S REALLY
NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. AND, SO, I READ THE SCRIPT AND I WAS LIKE, "MAN, THIS
CHARACTER'S GREAT BECAUSE HE'S NOT YOUR PREDICTABLE KIND OF ACTION HERO.
HE'S GOT SOME DEPTH TO HIM, SOME HEART, SOME EMOTION AND IT WAS REALLY KIND OF
A REDEMPTION STORY, WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED. SO, I GOT TO BE A TOUGH GUY,
BAD-ASS. BUT I ALSO GOT TO BE, LIKE, A FATHER LOOKING TO REDEEM
HIMSELF WITH HIS DAUGHTER. SO YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, BUDDY CONGRATS ON THE GREAT REVIEWS. I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
HERE'S DAVE BAUTISTA IN "ARMY OF THE DEAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE HERE WHO HASN'T KILLED A ZOMBIE WELL, YOU ALL KNOW THE BASICS.
ZOMBIES, SHAMBLERS, THE UNDEAD, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL THEM WHEN IT COMES TO KILLING THEM,
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BRAIN IF ONE COMES AT YOU, SHOOT IT IN THE BRAIN
IT'S THAT SIMPLE ANY QUESTIONS? >> YES
WHAT IF I TOOK A BIG ROCK, AND SMASH IT INTO THE HEAD WOULD THAT WORK?
>> YEAH. YEAH, THAT -- THAT ALSO WOULD STILL BE TARGETING THE BRAIN
SO THAT WOULD WORK >> COPY THAT >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DAVE BAUTISTA! "ARMY OF THE DEAD" IS IN SELECT
THEATERS, AND ON NETFLIX RIGHT NOW! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM TWENTY ONE PILOTS COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "SHY AWAY"
FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM "SCALED AND ICY," HERE'S TWENTY ONE PILOTS!
* * WHEN I GET HOME YOU BETTER NOT BE THER
WE'RE PLACING BETS YOU WON'T SHED YOUR MODESTY * * AND THE ONLY THING TO
LEAVE BEHIND IS YOUR OWN SKI ON THE FLOOR DON'T YOU SHY AWAY *
* MANIFEST A CEILIN WHEN YOU SHY AWA SEARCHING FOR THAT FEELING
JUST LIKE AN I LOVE YOU * * THAT ISN'T WORD LIKE A SONG HE WROTE
THAT'S NEVER HEARD DON'T YOU SHH * *
* WHEN YOU GET HOME YOU BARELY RECOGNIZE THE PICTURES THE
PUT IN A FRAME * * 'CAUSE YOU SHED YOUR MODESTY
DON'T CIRCLE THE TRACK TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE * * AND LEAVE YOUR SKIN
ON THE FLOOR DON'T YOU SHY AWAY * * MANIFEST A CEILIN
WHEN YOU SHY AWA SEARCHING FOR THAT FEELING JUST LIKE AN I LOVE YOU *
* THAT ISN'T WORD LIKE A SONG HE WROTE THAT'S NEVER HEARD
WHEN I GET HOME * * BOY YOU BETTE NOT BE THERE
YOU'RE LONG GONE SHED YOUR MODESTY * * DON'T CIRCLE THE TRAC
JUST BREAK THE CYCLE IN HALF AND LEAVE YOUR SKIN ON THE FLOOR *
* DON'T YOU SHY AWA SHY AWAY SEARCHING FOR THAT FEELING
JUST LIKE AN I LOVE YOU * * THAT ISN'T WORD LIKE A SONG HE WROTE
THAT'S NEVER HEARD THAT'S NEVER HEARD * *
* AN I LOVE YOU THAT ISN'T WORDS LIKE A SONG HE WROTE *
* THAT'S NEVER HEAR DON'T YOU SHY AWAY * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO JULIANNE MOORE, DAVE BAUTISTA!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TWENTY ONE PILOTS! FANTASTIC.
AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *