1 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,747 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:20,854 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,923 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - CONSTANCE WU 4 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:29,596 BOWEN YANG MUSICAL GUEST LORD HURON FEATURING ALLISON PONTHIER 5 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:39,439 AND THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1468 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,042 >> Questlove: 1468 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:56,056 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 8 00:00:56,056 --> 00:01:05,131 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH MY GOODNESS 9 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:11,471 THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT. WOW! SOUNDS SO GOOD 10 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:14,941 I'LL TAKE IT I MISS IT. I LOVE YOU 11 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:18,345 PLEASE, THANK YOU, WELCOME OH, MY GOD LET'S JUST GO TO COMMERCIAL. 12 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,647 LET'S JUST GO TO COMMERCIAL OFF OF THAT. >> Steve: YEAH, THAT'S IT. 13 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,382 >> Jimmy: WHY NOT? YEAH FANTASTIC. 14 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,384 THAT'S A CROWD RIGHT THERE >> Steve: COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 15 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,854 >> Jimmy: WAKING EVERYONE UP WAKE UP! AND WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT 16 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:30,090 SHOW," EVERYBODY YOU'RE HERE. YOU MADE IT. 17 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:35,395 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AT HOME I APPRECIATE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 18 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:38,365 WELL, GUYS, TODAY THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED A NEW WAY THAT THEY'RE TRYING TO GET MORE 19 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,866 THEY'RE TRYING TO GET MORE AMERICANS VACCINATED LISTEN TO THIS 20 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,268 >> SOME OF AMERICA'S BIGGEST 21 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:46,339 DATING APPS ARE JOINING THE WHITE HOUSE PUSH TO GET AMERICANS VACCINATED 22 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:50,944 APPS INCLUDING TINDER, HINGE AND BUMBLE WILL OFFER BADGES FOR SINGLES TO DISPLAY THEIR 23 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:59,886 VACCINATION STATUS [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SURE 24 00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,822 THAT'S GREAT THE ONLY OTHER SHOT DATING APPS EVER PROMOTED WAS PENICILLIN SO 25 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:07,327 I THINK THAT'S A GREAT - I LIKE THE IDEA, YOU GET YOUR SHOTS, YOU MEET SOMEONE ON 26 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:11,364 TINDER, THEN GET A FEW MORE SHOTS. [ LAUGHTER ] 27 00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:14,968 USUALLY WHEN YOU HEAR WHITE HOUSE AND TINDER IN THE SAME SENTENCE, IT'S FOLLOWED BY 28 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:18,705 RESIGNATION AND DISGRACE YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING [ LAUGHTER ] 29 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:22,409 YOU KNOW, THIS STARTED WHEN SOME CDC EMPLOYEE WAS LIKE, "HONEY, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU 30 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:27,547 THINK. IT'S A WORK PROJECT. [ LAUGHTER ] 31 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:31,685 YEAH, THEY'RE OFFERING A BUNCH OF FEATURES FOR USERS WHO GET THE VACCINE LIKE BEING ABLE TO 32 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:36,389 ADD AN "I'M VACCINATED" BADGE TO THEIR PROFILE [ AUDIENCE OOHS 33 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,892 AMERICANS ARE LIKE, OOH, THAT'S EVEN HOTTER THAN BEING VERIFIED ON TWITTER 34 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:49,169 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S HOT [ LAUGHTER ] 35 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:55,208 THAT'S HOT [ LAUGHTER ] N-B. 36 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,912 THAT'S MY NEW JAM. >> Steve: N-B? >> Jimmy: N-B, YEAH. 37 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:02,515 >> Tariq: NO BIGGIE? >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T SAY D ANYMORE. 38 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,051 >> Steve: YOU DON'T SAY N-B-D? YOU JUST GO, N-B >> Jimmy: NO BIG DEAL. 39 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,886 TOO LONG >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: N-B-D. 40 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:10,390 N-B-D. FINE N-B. 41 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,360 THERE YOU GO CHECK, PLEASE. >> Steve: THAT'S SHARP, YEAH 42 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,063 >> Jimmy: RIGHT? >> Steve: I FEEL HIPPER. >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOT 43 00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:23,603 [ LAUGHTER ] N-B. THE DATING SITES ARE ALSO 44 00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:27,340 ADDING A LOT OF OTHER HELPFUL BADGES TOO, LIKE "ACTUALLY SIX FEET TALL. 45 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:34,447 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'LL WORK PROVE IT 46 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:37,951 STAND NEXT TO SOMETHING. STAND NEXT TO SOMETHING THAT'S SIX FEET TALL. 47 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,120 YEAH >> Steve: IT'S A GIANT FIRE HYDRANT. 48 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:46,793 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALSO THEY HAVE THE BADGE, "THIS IS A RECENT 49 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,397 PHOTO. YEAH I WANT TO KNOW 50 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:55,001 YEAH, I WANT TO KNOW, IS THIS A RECENT PHOTO THEN THERE'S ALSO THE BADGE, OF 51 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:59,372 COURSE, "NOT A SERIAL KILLER." AND THAT'S GOOD IF YOU KNOW THAT 52 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:03,843 ALSO FOR THE WEIRDOS WHO POST GROUP PHOTOS ON THEIR DATING PROFILE, THEY OFFER, "I'M THE 53 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:09,215 SECOND ONE FROM THE RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I KNOW 54 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:13,119 I KNOW IT'S A GROUP PHOTO, BUT IT'S A GOOD ONE OF ME SO I'M GOING TO POST IT 55 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:18,825 I MEAN, LOOK WHO ELSE YOU COULD HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH MY OTHER FRIENDS ARE DISASTERS 56 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:22,862 SPEAKING OF VACCINATIONS, I SAW THAT PEOPLE WILL SOON BE ABLE TO GET THEIR VACCINE SHOTS AT 57 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:26,366 AIRPORTS LIKE LaGUARDIA. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] NEW YORKERS HEARD AND WERE 58 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,436 LIKE, I'M FLYING THROUGH LaGUARDIA, DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT LIVING 59 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:33,673 [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST ATE A COLD HOT DOG AND FLAT SODA. 60 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:39,245 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M GUESSING THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WAITING TO GET VACCINATED AT 61 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:45,085 THE AIRPORT ARE THE SAME PEOPLE BUYING LUGGAGE AT THE AIRPORT. HOW BUSY ARE YOU 62 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:48,888 "I'M JUST GONNA WEAR TEN LAYERS OF CLOTHES AND GET THROUGH SECURITY 63 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:55,228 THEN I'LL PEEL OFF EACH LAYER AND FOLD IN IT MY NEW LUGGAGE. GET THIS, I SAW THAT THE POPE 64 00:04:55,228 --> 00:05:01,234 JUST SIGNED OFF ON THE FIRST ALL ELECTRIC POPE MOBILE CHECK THIS THING OUT 65 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,738 LOOK AT THIS HUH? LET ME SEE THAT AGAIN. 66 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:08,241 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT SPACESHIP-LOOKING THING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE HE 67 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,511 IS COMING DOWN THE PROCESSION, POPE TRON PAUL THERE HE IS. 68 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:16,549 [ LAUGHTER ] IT LOOKS LIKE THE POPE'S GOING TO EXIT THAT THING SMOKING A 69 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:21,788 A VAPE PEN, DOESN'T IT [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? 70 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:26,926 YEAH, HE COMES OUT - * * SUMMER LOVING 71 00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,662 HAD ME * >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHY IS HE DOING JOHN TRAVOLTA? 72 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:33,800 [ LAUGHTER ] WHY IS HE --WHAT IS HE DOING IN THE NEW "GREASE"? 73 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,102 >> Steve: THE POPE IS IN THE NEW "GREASE" >> Jimmy: THE POPE IS -- THEY 74 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:39,372 REDID "GREASE. >> Steve: THE POPE >> Jimmy: THE POPE IS NOW 75 00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:41,508 DANNY ZUKO >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: AND HE'S NOT SMOKING 76 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,743 CIGARETTES CAUSE THAT'S BAD FOR YOU >> Steve: VAPING 77 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,079 >> Jimmy: SO HE VAPES. THAT'S CORRECT >> Steve: THAT'S HOT 78 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:51,284 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOT N-B. 79 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,688 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] CAN I SEE THAT ONCE AGAIN REALLY QUICK 80 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,892 I JUST WANT TO SEE THAT VEHICLE. IT LOOKS LIKE THE NEW DOMINOS 81 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:04,864 DELIVERY CAR, DOESN'T IT [ LAUGHTER ] "HEY, CAN I GET A BLESSED CRUST 82 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,468 PIZZA. "I'M SORRY, POPE I APOLOGIZE. 83 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:13,606 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS, THIS SUMMER, GOOGLE IS OPENING ITS 84 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:18,445 FIRST EVER RETAIL STORE. [ AUDIENCE OOHS YEAH, AND SINCE IT'S GOOGLE, 85 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,480 YOU JUST WALK IN, THEY ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR [ LAUGHTER ] 86 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,316 "HOW YOU DOING, DAVE YEAH, WE HAVE YOUR PHONE ALSO, UNICORNS AREN'T REAL." 87 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:27,687 SO HEY, WELCOME. [ LAUGHTER ] SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, I GOT 88 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:32,726 REALLY EXCITED WHEN I SAW THIS SARAH JESSICA PARKER, BETTE MIDLER AND KATHY NAJIMY 89 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,863 ARE COMING BACK TO DO A SEQUEL OF "HOCUS POCUS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 90 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:42,235 YES. I LOVE THE ORIGINAL. SO DO MY KIDS. 91 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,839 MY KIDS LOVE IT. TARIQ, WHAT'S A CLASSIC MOVIE THAT YOU AND YOUR KIDS LOVE? 92 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:50,643 >> Tariq: I DON'T KNOW, JIMMY. YOU TELL ME. [ LAUGHTER ] 93 00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,946 >> Jimmy: THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS, TARIQ CAUSE I'M ASKING YOU 94 00:06:52,946 --> 00:07:00,587 >> Tariq: WOW! SO NOW I'M RIDICULOUS. >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING ON? 95 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:05,091 ARE WE IN A FIGHT? >> Tariq: CLEARLY. >> Jimmy: I DON'T EVEN KNOW 96 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:10,764 WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING ABOUT. >> Tariq: CLEARLY! OKAY 97 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:14,601 EARLIER IN THE WEEK YOU ASKED ME WHAT WAS THE SCARIEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN 98 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:19,039 I SAID "SIGNS. AND YOU MADE FUN OF ME >> Jimmy: COME ON, TARIQ 99 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:23,443 I MEAN, THAT WAS JUST -- >> Tariq: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO YOU DON'T GET TO DISMISS THIS. 100 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,744 YOU DON'T GET TO DISMISS THIS. IT'S TIME FOR "TARIQ PROVES HIS CASE." 101 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,079 * 102 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:31,751 * TARIQ PROVE HIS CASE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 103 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:35,255 >> Tariq: "SIGNS" IS A SCARY MOVIE. IT HAS VERY EFFECTIVE JUMP 104 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:41,628 SCARES, A FOREBODING SOUNDTRACK, AND THE SCARIEST THING OF ALL, JOAQUIN PHOENIX 105 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:47,167 COMMITTING TO A ROLE [ LAUGHTER ] "SIGNS" IS SCARY 106 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,335 "SIGNS" IS SCARY THIS HAS BEEN "TARIQ PROVES HIS CASE." 107 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:49,469 * 108 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:53,073 * TARIQ PROVE HIS CASE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 109 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,076 >> Jimmy: SO IF YOU GET TO PROVE YOUR CASE, THEN I GET ON PROVE MINE 110 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,310 PROVE MINE IT'S TIME FOR "JIMMY PROVES HIS CASE." 111 00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:58,411 * 112 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:02,148 * JIMMY PROVE HIS CASE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 113 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:07,053 >> Jimmy: "SIGNS" ISN'T SCARY. IT'S NOT EVEN A HORROR MOVIE, IT'S SCI-FI. 114 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:12,525 ALSO, THE CGI HASN'T AGED WELL AND JOAQUIN PHOENIX ISN'T SCARY IN THE MOVIE, HE'S ENDEARING 115 00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:13,693 IN THE MOVIE, HE'S ENDEARING THIS HAS BEEN "JIMMY PROVES HIS CASE." 116 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:14,828 * 117 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,831 * JIMMY PROVE HIS CASE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 118 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:23,036 >> Jimmy: ARE WE GOOD NOW? >> Tariq: MAN, SHUT UP IT'S TIME FOR "TARIQ PROVES HIS 119 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:23,269 >> Tariq: MAN, SHUT UP IT'S TIME FOR "TARIQ PROVES HIS CASE." 120 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,105 * * TARIQ PROVE 121 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:29,242 HIS CASE * >> Tariq: YOU ASKED ME MY OPINION AND I GAVE YOU MY 122 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:38,218 OPINION. OPINIONS ARE INHERENTLY SUBJECTIVE 123 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:42,889 THEREFORE, IT'S CORRECT. THIS HAS BEEN "TARIQ PROVES HIS CASE." 124 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:55,168 * TARIQ PROVES HIS CASE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ] 125 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,670 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT'S TIME FOR "JIMMY PROVES HIS CASE. 126 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,372 * JIMMY PROVES HIS CASE * 127 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,608 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: TARIQ, YOU SAY OPINIONS ARE SUBJECTIVE AND 128 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:06,413 YOU'RE RIGHT I'M SORRY FOR JEOPARDIZING OUR FRIENDSHIP 129 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:12,419 >> Tariq: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY TOO, BUT I WAS HURT AND I OVERREACTED. 130 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,288 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND AND I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO COME BETWEEN US. 131 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:20,427 >> Tariq: AGREED >> Jimmy: AGREED SCARY THINKING I COULD EVER 132 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:25,098 LOSE YOU AS A FRIEND >> Tariq: YEAH BUT NOT AS SCARY AS "SIGNS." 133 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:29,469 * * YOU'RE THE BEST AROUN NOTHING'S GONNA EVER * 134 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:35,809 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WHAT >> Jimmy: I HAVE NO IDEA 135 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,111 >> Steve: THEN YOU FROZE AT THE END? >> Jimmy: I HAD NO IDEA IF I 136 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,513 COULD EVEN - >> Steve: WHAT IS THAT ABOUT >> Jimmy: I COULD HAVE HELD 137 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,149 THAT FREEZE. IT LOOKED LIKE A GLITCH. * 138 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:47,620 * YOU'RE THE BEST AROUN NOTHING'S GONNA EVER * >> Jimmy: THAT'S LONGER THAN 139 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,589 THE BIT. >> Steve: LIKE IN "POLICE ACADEMY. 140 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,325 >> Jimmy: I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO FREEZE, THAT'S WHY I BROKE DOWN 141 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,428 >> Steve: LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE BOXING [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER 142 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,199 >> Steve: PLAY CARDS HAVE A ROUND OF PINOCHLE >> Jimmy: I LOVE PINOCHLE. 143 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:03,703 >> Steve: OH, I DO TOO [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, I READ ABOUT 144 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:08,508 A JAPANESE BULLET TRAIN DRIVER WHO TOOK A THREE-MINUTE BATHROOM BREAK WHILE THE TRAIN 145 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:13,546 WAS GOING 90 MILES AN HOUR WHEN THEY HEARD NO ONE WAS DRIVING THE TRAIN, PASSENGERS 146 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:16,416 TOOK A BATHROOM BREAK RIGHT IN THEIR SEATS. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 147 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:17,450 THEIR SEATS. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS 148 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,754 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 149 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:36,936 * >> Jimmy: WELCOME, EVERYBODY, HAPPY FRIDAY 150 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:41,741 HAPPY, HAPPY FRIDAY. BE SURE TO TUNE IN ALL NEXT WEEK 151 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,810 WE HAVE SOME GREAT SHOWS COMING UP KEVIN HART WILL BE HERE. 152 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,414 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SOFIA VERGARA AND JULIANNE MOORE WILL ALL BE 153 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:52,786 HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND ON MONDAY, ON MONDAY WE 154 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:57,357 HAVE A VERY SPECIAL SHOW DAVE GROHL OF THE FOO FIGHTERS WILL BE MY CO-HOST HERE. 155 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:03,596 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COMING ON TO CO-HOST YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT. 156 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,433 BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. YOU CAN SEE HER IN THE NEW 157 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:11,237 AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SERIES, "SOLOS." CONSTANCE WU IS HERE 158 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:15,175 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALSO, LOOK AT THIS DID YOU SEE THIS 159 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:20,447 >> Steve: VERY FUNNY DUDE. >> Jimmy: JOINING US IN STUDIO FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," 160 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:24,684 BOWEN YANG IS HERE IN STUDIO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOOK AT THAT 161 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,188 >> Steve: LOVE ME MY BOWEN >> Jimmy: HE GOT THE COVER GOOD FOR YOU, MAN. 162 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,925 I LOVE THAT. ALSO, WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM LORD HURON FEATURING 163 00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:37,797 ALLISON PONTHIER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN LATER IN THE SHOW WE HAVE 164 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:42,302 ALL NEW "THANK YOU NOTES." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, IT'S HAPPENING 165 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,105 GUYS, WHENEVER I GET SOME DOWN TIME HERE AT THE SHOW, I LIKE TO GO ON INSTAGRAM AND SCROLL 166 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:48,308 THROUGH ALL THE PHOTOS >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: AND ONE THING I'VE 167 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,478 NOTICED IS THAT A LOT OF TIMES TWO PEOPLE WILL WRITE THE EXACT SAME CAPTION, BUT THE PICTURES 168 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,547 THEY POST WILL BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I'LL SHOW YOU -- 169 00:11:54,547 --> 00:12:00,320 [ LAUGHTER ] DID HE SAY "OH, NO?" I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN IN 170 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,489 THIS NEXT SEGMENT. IT'S TIME FOR "PICTURE THIS. HERE WE GO 171 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,924 * * PICTURE THI PICTURE THIS 172 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:09,963 PICTURE THIS YEAH PICTURE THIS * >> Jimmy: HAVING A SMALL CROWD 173 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,365 IS SO FUN, BUT IT'S ALSO REALLY PERSONAL I GET TO HEAR -- 174 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,868 [ LAUGHTER ] -- EVERY SINGLE PERSON'S OPINION. 175 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:20,774 YEAH SO I SAID THE SAME CAPTIONS, DIFFERENT PHOTOS AND HE SAID - 176 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:22,642 >> OH, NO. >> Jimmy: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT 177 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:26,780 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS FIRST EXAMPLE. 178 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,817 IT'S FROM TESLA AND MICROSOFT. >> Steve: OH, NO >> Jimmy: THEY BOTH WROTE, 179 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:35,622 "AVAILABLE THIS SUMMER." TESLA POSTED A PICTURE OF THEIR NEW ELECTRIC CAR 180 00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,825 MICROSOFT POSTED A PICTURE OF BILL GATES DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING 181 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:41,327 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: SAME CAPTION >> Jimmy: SAME CAPTION 182 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:46,800 DIFFERENT PHOTO. THE NEXT ONE IS FROM PRESIDENT OBAMA AND PRESIDENT BIDEN. 183 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,837 THEY BOTH WROTE, "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, BUT I'M INTRIGUED BY IT. 184 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:55,308 PRESIDENT OBAMA POSTED A A PICTURE OF A UFO PRESIDENT BIDEN POSTED A 185 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:58,144 A PICTURE OF AN iPHONE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ISN'T THAT NICE? 186 00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,547 THAT'S MY MAN. CAN WE CUT TO HIM -- CAN WE CUT TO -- 187 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,183 YEAH, STAND UP YEAH, YEAH, THERE HE GOES. THIS GUY WORKS - 188 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:10,423 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * WE TALKED TO HIM BEFORE THE 189 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:18,598 SHOW HE'S REPRESENTING -- HE WORKS AT THE APPLE STORE, AND SO ANY 190 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,700 APPLE HUMOR, YOU LAUGH DOUBLY. >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH 191 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,070 WHAT'S YOUR NAME >> MY NAME'S DAVID >> Jimmy: DAVID, ARE YOU A 192 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,806 A GENIUS >> AM I WHAT >> Jimmy: A GENIUS 193 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,076 >> I'M A SPECIALIST. >> Steve: A SPECIALIST >> Jimmy: SO WAIT -- 194 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,946 >> THERE'S A HIERARCHY AT APPLE, YOU START AS A SPECIALIST, THEN AN EXPERT, 195 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:36,316 THEN A GENIUS. >> Jimmy: OH, SO RIGHT NOW YOU'RE A SPECIALIST, NOT YET AN 196 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,618 EXPERT >> I JUST FINISHED MY FRESHMAN YEAR 197 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,087 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHO ARE YOU POINTING AT 198 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:48,361 OVER THERE DO WE TEACH A COURSE HERE? WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR? 199 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,631 >> I WAS A MUSICAL THEATER MAJOR. I WENT FOR MUSICAL THEATER AND 200 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,600 OPERA AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MONTEVALLO >> Jimmy: WHOA 201 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:58,838 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DID YOU HAVE A -- DAVID, DID YOU HAVE A GO-TO SONG? 202 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:07,247 DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU USED TO LOVE TO SING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 203 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,883 DAVID, HERE. I'LL HOLD THIS OUT TO YOU. WE'VE GOT TO BE SIX FEET AWAY. 204 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:14,054 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DAVID, JUST STAY - STAY THERE 205 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:17,857 STAY THERE AND I'LL JUST HOLD THIS. IT'S FOR COVID REASONS, I 206 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,593 THINK. BUT, OKAY. DAVID, WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME 207 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,229 >> POEHLER, LIKE AMY POEHLER >> Jimmy: YEAH, OH MY GOD. DAVID POEHLER. 208 00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:29,669 ALL RIGHT, GREAT HERE'S DAVID POEHLER WITH HIS AUDITION DOING - 209 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:34,074 >> "TOMORROW" FROM "ANNIE. >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 210 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:41,348 DO WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT * ALRIGHT. 211 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:47,087 * THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR 212 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:53,393 THAT TOMORROW * * THERE'LL BE SUN * >> Jimmy: LET'S GO TO THE PART 213 00:14:53,393 --> 00:15:07,273 * TOMORROW TOMORROW I LOVE YA TOMORROW YOU'RE ALWAYS A DAY AWAY * 214 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:12,178 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT 215 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:16,116 DAVID POEHLER! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE. 216 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,318 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, BUDDY. 217 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:21,154 THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. WOW! TALENTED CROWD 218 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:26,426 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU ROOTS. OH, HE'S GOT PIPES 219 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:31,064 HE'S GOT PIPES NO WONDER HE'S YELLING IN THE CROWD. 220 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:34,267 HE'S GOTTA SING. >> Steve: HE'S GOTTA SING. >> Jimmy: WE'RE STILL DOING -- 221 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,469 YEAH >> Steve: WE GOT BITS? >> Jimmy: WE'RE STILL DOING 222 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,972 THIS BIT YEAH, HERE WE GO [ LAUGHTER ] 223 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:42,142 CHECK OUT THIS PHOTO HERE, THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM THE GIRL SCOUTS AND "ENTERTAINMENT 224 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,310 WEEKLY." >> Steve: OH GIRL SCOUTS AND "ENTERTAINMENT 225 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,846 WEEKLY." >> Jimmy: THEY BOTH WROTE, "ANYONE CAN JOIN." 226 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:50,116 GIRL SCOUTS POSTED A PICTURE OF A TROOP. "ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY" POSTED 227 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:54,087 A PICTURE OF THE CAST OF "KNIVES OUT 2. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 228 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:59,325 THEY JUST KEEP ADDING TO IT. THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM J LO AND BEN AFFLECK. 229 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:04,764 [ AUDIENCE OHS ] THEY BOTH WROTE, "IT'S COMPLICATED. 230 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:09,703 J LO POSTED A PICTURE OF BEN AFFLECK. BEN AFFLECK POSTED A PICTURE OF 231 00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:12,539 THE CDC'S CURRENT MASK GUIDELINES [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 232 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,507 WEAR THEM. DON'T WEAR THEM. YES, I CAN 233 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:18,111 NO CAN'T. MASK UP. 234 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:22,816 HERE'S ONE FROM GUY FIERI AND "POLITICO. THEY BOTH WROTE, "THE MEATS 235 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:28,621 JUST FALL OFF THE BONE." GUY FIERI POSTED A PICTURE OF A RACK OF RIBS 236 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,124 POLITICO POSTED A PICTURE OF MITCH McCONNELL. [ AUDIENCE OHS ] 237 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,293 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT 238 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:36,062 >> Jimmy: WHY WOULD THEY - I WOULD THINK THAT'S OFFENSIVE >> Steve: THAT SEEMS ODD 239 00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:38,531 >> Jimmy: THAT SEEMS ODD TO ME >> Steve: THAT SEEMS RUDE AND MEAN 240 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:41,501 >> Jimmy: THAT SEEMS ODD ALL RIGHT. HERE'S THE LAST ONE, IT'S FROM 241 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:47,273 BILL de BLASIO AND ANDREW YANG THEY BOTH WROTE, "THERE'S SIMPLY NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. 242 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:51,244 BILL de BLASIO POSTED A PICTURE OF UNVACCINATED NEW YORKERS GOING MASKLESS 243 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,848 ANDREW YANG POSTED A PICTURE OF BILL de BLASIO IN NETS GEAR. THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR 244 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:57,550 "PICTURE THIS. STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "THANK 245 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,652 YOU NOTES" EVERYBODY COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 246 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:20,273 * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 247 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,909 TODAY IS FRIDAY AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF 248 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,678 YOU KNOW, I CHECK MY INBOX, I RETURN SOME EMAILS AND OF COURSE I SEND OUT THANK YOU 249 00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:29,516 NOTES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND 250 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,419 SO I THOUGHT IF YOU GUYS WOULDN'T MIND, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO WRITE OUT MY WEEKLY 251 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:38,058 THANK YOU NOTES, RIGHT NOW IS THAT COOL WITH YOU GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 252 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:43,363 JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK-YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE * 253 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:50,136 CONCENTRATING. >> Steve: HE'S SUSPICIOUS. WORRIED ABOUT SOMETHING. 254 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:55,475 >> Jimmy: YEAH HE DID SOMETHING * 255 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,243 THANK YOU, JOE BIDEN, FOR RELEASING YOUR TAX RETURNS, ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE YOU'RE 256 00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:07,821 ALLOWED TO DEDUCT MALARKEY [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT, TRIED TO DEDUCT MALARKEY 257 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:12,792 >> Steve: SIX POUNDS OF IT >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, KIM JONG-UN, BANNING MULLETS 258 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,461 AND SKINNY JEANS, FOR LETTING THE WORLD KNOW THAT YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY IS APPARENTLY 259 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:28,274 BILLY RAY CYRUS FROM 1992. >> Steve: WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? ACHY BREAKY. 260 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,845 * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, GETTING HANDED YOUR DIPLOMA, FOR MAKING 261 00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:36,583 ME FEEL LIKE I'M PARTICIPATING IN A RELAY RACE THAT TOOK FOUR YEARS TO FINISH. 262 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:47,560 [ APPLAUSE ] * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, GRADUATION 263 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:53,299 CEREMONIES, FOR GIVING STUDENTS ONE FINAL LESSON HOW TO DODGE SHARP PIECES OF 264 00:18:53,299 --> 00:19:06,546 FALLING CARDBOARD. [ APPLAUSE ] DO THEY HAVE ANY AVENGERS THAT 265 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:10,350 THROW THINGS LIKE THAT >> Steve: DON'T THEY HAVE THAT CARD GUY 266 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,218 LIKE, GAMBIT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY 267 00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,854 >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: THE GAMBLER, HE COMES OUT AND HE JUST TAKES HIS CARD 268 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,458 OUT OF THE DECK OF CARDS AND FLIPS IT AT SOMEBODY IT'S PRETTY COOL 269 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,860 DOES HE DO A TRICK FIRST AND HAVE THEM GUESS IT >> Steve: MAYBE HE DOES -- 270 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,030 >> Jimmy: YOUR OWN MURDER WEAPON YEAH, BUT THEN SUSIE AND TIMMY, 271 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:29,269 THEY WENT TO THE STORE SO THEN THEY GOT RID OF THE -- DO A WHOLE STORY. 272 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:33,640 AND THERE LIKE, "WELL, WHERE'S TIMMY? IS THIS IT?" 273 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,609 AND YOU GO, "NO. IT'S ACTUALLY NOT. HE'S LIKE, "OH, I GUESS I DON'T 274 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:44,050 KNOW HOW TO DO MAGIC THEN. [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT A SECOND. 275 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:52,058 COULD YOU JUST CHECK YOUR COAT POCKET FOR A SECOND? * 276 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:58,932 "IT'S TIMMY! AND THEN YOU GIVE IT TO HIM. AND HE TAKES IT AND HE GOES -- 277 00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:03,003 >> Steve: "IS THIS YOUR CARD?" >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: YOU CUT OFF MY 278 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:10,143 FINGER >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, CHURROS, FOR BEING THE ONLY DESSERT THAT 279 00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:18,585 LOOKS LIKE IT WAS MADE USING A A PLAY-DOH FUN FACTORY >> Steve: THAT'S NOT A CHURRO! 280 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:27,327 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, LAS VEGAS HUSTLER CLUBS POP-UP VACCINE 281 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:33,166 SITE FOR NOT BEING THE FIRST POP-UP THAT'S HAPPENED AT A STRIP 282 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:41,007 CLUB * >> Steve: OH 283 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:47,747 POLLING STATION. >> Jimmy: NO, JOHNSON AND JOHNSON. 284 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:55,622 >> Steve: HEY! >> Jimmy: THREE JOHNSONS >> Steve: GET READY FOR IT 285 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,124 YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT. GOT THEM READY 286 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:10,570 >> Jimmy: GOT WHAT READY >> IS THAT YOUR CARD THAT WASN'T MY CARD. 287 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,474 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT THIS WAS >> Steve: OH 288 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:23,550 YOU'RE RIGHT IT WAS THE SEVEN OF SPADES WAIT, THIS CARD IS A JOKER 289 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:27,587 IT WAS MY CARD I'M DYING NOW. I'M -- ABOUT TO -- LOSE MY 290 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:36,696 LIFE REALLY BAD [ GROANING ] 291 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:41,368 THIS IS THE CARD FOR 20% OFF AT BED, BATH AND BEYOND I THINK I'M BEYOND THAT. 292 00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:45,839 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON. >> Steve: OH, MY GOD 293 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:49,242 THIS IS A DINER CLUB CARD FROM - >> Jimmy: LET'S JUST CALL IT A 294 00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:52,645 A MISUNDERSTANDING I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, OKAY >> OKAY, ALL RIGHT 295 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:56,182 HERE WE GO * THANK YOU, CABINET FULL OF OLD 296 00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:59,853 SPICES IT'S NICE TO KNOW I CAN FRESHEN UP ANY MEAL WITH SOME GARLIC 297 00:21:59,853 --> 00:22:06,826 POWDER FROM 2006 COME ON, IT STILL WORKS. JUST BANG IT ON THE COUNTER. 298 00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:09,662 >> Steve: IT'S SOLID NOW >> Jimmy: EXACTLY. SCRAPE IT OFF. 299 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,532 >> Steve: YEAH, JUST GET A A GRATER >> Jimmy: YEAH 300 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:18,104 >> Steve: MAKES IT BETTER CAUSE IT'S GRATER. [ LAUGHTER ] 301 00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:23,343 >> Jimmy: A LITTLE CHEESY. >> Steve: NICE >> Jimmy: BUT STILL SHARP. 302 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:30,350 >> Steve: THAT WAS A GOUDA JOKE >> Jimmy: YEAH 303 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:38,358 I GUESS WE'RE FONDUE-ING IT. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, CRAYONS, FOR STARTING OUT PRISTINE AND 304 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:44,431 ENDING UP LIKE A POST BATTLE SCENE FROM "GAME OF THRONES. THERE YOU HAVE IT. 305 00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:46,866 THOSE ARE OUR THANK-YOU NOTES. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CONSTANCE WU 306 00:22:46,866 --> 00:23:09,723 COME ONE BACK, EVERYBODY * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS 307 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:13,193 A GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATED ACTRESS WHO YOU CAN SEE IN THE NEW SERIES, "SOLOS," WHICH IS 308 00:23:13,193 --> 00:23:17,464 AVAILABLE ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO STARTING TODAY PLEASE WELCOME CONSTANCE WU! 309 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:21,301 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH OH, MY 310 00:23:21,301 --> 00:23:26,072 COME ON, WELCOME BACK! >> THANK YOU HI, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 311 00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:29,809 >> Jimmy: I'M DOING GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 312 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:34,414 FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU BECAUSE, SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON OUR 313 00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:37,684 SHOW, YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BABY SO CONGRATULATIONS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 314 00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:43,156 * >> THANK YOU YEAH 315 00:23:43,156 --> 00:23:45,358 I HAD A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL IN AUGUST >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. 316 00:23:45,358 --> 00:23:49,295 CONGRATULATIONS. HOW IS SHE DOING HOW IS IT ALL GOING? 317 00:23:49,295 --> 00:23:51,564 >> SHE'S THE BEST. SHE'S THE BEST SHE HAS A FULL HEAD OF HAIR. 318 00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:56,603 YOU KNOW, SHE HAS A BLUE BUTT. [ LAUGHTER ] AND, UM, YEAH. 319 00:23:56,603 --> 00:24:02,042 >> Jimmy: YEAH, LONG NIGHTS, OR IS SHE SLEEPING? EVERYONE ALWAYS ASKS THAT. 320 00:24:02,042 --> 00:24:03,843 >> YOU DIDN'T ASK ME ABOUT THE BLUE BUTT, JIMMY [ LAUGHTER ] 321 00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:07,313 I THOUGHT -- I THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT BE CURIOUS ABOUT A BABY WITH A BLUE BUTT 322 00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:09,816 >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T, ALMOST, UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SAID SO I KIND OF SKIPPED OVER IT. 323 00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:15,955 [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT, SHE HAS A BLUE BUTT? >> YES 324 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:18,858 HER BUTT IS THE COLOR BLUE >> Jimmy: OKAY IS IT LIKE FOR PRINTING 325 00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:23,830 PURPOSES [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, THEY PUT HERE IN THE INK 326 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:30,837 WHY IS HER BUTT BLUE >> WELL, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT NEED TO START THINKING ABOUT, YOU 327 00:24:30,837 --> 00:24:35,742 KNOW, WHAT I CAN USE IT FOR, HER BUTT BUT NO, ACTUALLY, THERE'S THIS 328 00:24:35,742 --> 00:24:38,244 THING, I HAD NEVER HEARD OF IT BEFORE, BUT IT'S CALLED A MONGOLIAN SPOT 329 00:24:38,244 --> 00:24:45,251 AND APPARENTLY, IT HAPPENS IN A LOT OF ASIAN BABIES, AND MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE BOTH ASIAN 330 00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:49,622 AND IT'S WHERE YOUR BUTT IS BLUE FOR LIKE THE FIRST TWO YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, AND THEN IT 331 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:56,730 JUST GOES AWAY [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW IF THIS 332 00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:59,466 IS A BIT OR NOT. I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THIS IS IT A THING? 333 00:24:59,466 --> 00:25:03,203 HAS EVERYONE HEARD OF IT [ AUDIENCE SAYS NO ] [ AUDIENCE MEMBER SAYS YES ] 334 00:25:03,203 --> 00:25:05,572 >> Jimmy: OH, WAIT SOMEONE THERE HAS HEARD OF IT. >> HE HAD IT 335 00:25:05,572 --> 00:25:09,075 >> Jimmy: OH, HE HAD IT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> I JUST THINK IT'S A VERY 336 00:25:09,075 --> 00:25:14,214 SPECIAL THING, AND NOT SOMETHING THAT, YOU KNOW, SHE GETS TO SHOW OFF WHILE SHE'S 337 00:25:14,214 --> 00:25:17,817 WALKING DOWN THE STREET. SO NOT THAT SHE'S WALKING YET. BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD JUST, YOU 338 00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:20,253 KNOW, SAY ABOUT HER LITTLE BLUE BUTT IT'S VERY SPECIAL. 339 00:25:20,253 --> 00:25:24,157 >> Jimmy: THAT IS ACTUALLY -- THAT IS ACTUALLY SO CUTE OH MY GOODNESS 340 00:25:24,157 --> 00:25:28,328 AND YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A MUSICIAN SO IS HE PLAYING MUSIC ALL THE 341 00:25:28,328 --> 00:25:34,668 TIME FOR THE BABY? >> YEAH, HE ACTUALLY WROTE A A SONG ABOUT HER BLUE BUTT 342 00:25:34,668 --> 00:25:38,805 [ LAUGHTER ] SO THAT WILL BE ON HIS NEXT ALBUM. 343 00:25:38,805 --> 00:25:41,341 BUT YEAH, HE'S A MUSICIAN. >> Jimmy: GONNA BE ON THE NEXT ALBUM. 344 00:25:41,341 --> 00:25:43,943 WHAT'S IT LIKE DATING A ROCK STAR DO YOU TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER'S 345 00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:48,882 MUSIC? DO YOU, LIKE, SCHOOL EACH OTHER ON DIFFERENT THINGS? 346 00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:51,618 >> WELL, I MEAN, YOU -- YOU PROBABLY KNOW THIS LIFE BECAUSE YOU WERE IN THAT MOVIE, "ALMOST 347 00:25:51,618 --> 00:25:55,221 FAMOUS." >> Jimmy: PLEASE, HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE 348 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,190 HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ] YOU CAN'T HEAR IT, BUT THEY'RE 349 00:25:57,190 --> 00:26:00,660 GOING NUTS HERE NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH STOP. 350 00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:04,597 OH, PLEASE THIS IS EMBARRASSING BUT THANK YOU. 351 00:26:04,597 --> 00:26:08,535 >> OUR LIFE IS LIKE THAT MOVIE EXCEPT, LIKE, MIDDLE AGED. >> Jimmy: OKAY 352 00:26:08,535 --> 00:26:12,038 ALL RIGHT. INTERESTING, YEAH. BUT IT'S THAT ROCK LIFESTYLE 353 00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:14,674 >> YEAH. AND IT'S, YOU KNOW IT'S INTERESTING 'CAUSE HE'S AN 354 00:26:14,674 --> 00:26:21,348 INDIE ROCKER HIS BAND IS CALLED MAN-MAN, AND I AM A MUSICAL THEATER NERD. 355 00:26:21,348 --> 00:26:25,518 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH, WAIT A SECOND YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE BEGINNING 356 00:26:25,518 --> 00:26:28,655 OF OUR SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ] WE JUST -- WE LAUNCHED A NEW 357 00:26:28,655 --> 00:26:32,258 BROADWAY STAR. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DAVID POLLER 358 00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:34,260 YEAH HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF DAVID POLLER 359 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:37,530 [ CHEERS ] >> I HAVE NOW. >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S 360 00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:42,335 UNBELIEVABLE GET READY. PUT YOUR STOCK IN DAVID POLLER 361 00:26:42,335 --> 00:26:45,839 I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU, BECAUSE, NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE A BRAND NEW BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL 362 00:26:45,839 --> 00:26:49,542 IN YOUR HOUSE, BUT YOU HAVE SOME OTHER VISITORS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING 363 00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:51,444 ABOUT? >> YEAH. I HAD SOME BEES VISITING MY 364 00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:55,782 HOUSE, AND I WAS, LIKE -- I DID NOT KNOW WHERE THEY WERE COMING FROM 365 00:26:55,782 --> 00:27:00,787 SO I KIND OF, LIKE, FOLLOWED WHERE THESE BEES WERE COMING FROM 366 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:05,592 AND I SAW THEM SWARMING AROUND THIS TINY LITTLE HOLE IN MY WALL ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY 367 00:27:05,592 --> 00:27:12,332 HOUSE. SO I INVESTIGATED. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THEY HAD 368 00:27:12,332 --> 00:27:18,071 BUILT AN ENTIRE HIVE INSIDE OF THE WALL OF MY HOUSE >> Jimmy: NO, NO, LOOK AT THIS 369 00:27:18,071 --> 00:27:23,043 THING. THIS IS IN THE WALL. [ AUDIENCE OOHS 370 00:27:23,043 --> 00:27:26,279 >> THAT'S AFTER THEY CUT IT OUT AND THAT WAS INSIDE. >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE MOST 371 00:27:26,279 --> 00:27:28,682 FRIGHTENING THING I'VE EVER SEEN >> IT WAS. 372 00:27:28,682 --> 00:27:31,951 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S EVEN SCARIER? IS THAT LIKE OUR BEES ARE IN 373 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:35,288 TROUBLE IN THE WORLD, RIGHT? SO WE'VE GOT TO SAVE OUR BEES. SO I WAS LIKE, "HOW DO I SAVE 374 00:27:35,288 --> 00:27:41,227 THESE BEES, BUT NOT HAVE THEM IN MY HOUSE? SO I GOT, LIKE, A SPECIALIST 375 00:27:41,227 --> 00:27:45,598 WHO HAD THEM HUMANELY REMOVED. AND FOUND THE SCOUT BEES SO THEY WOULDN'T COME BACK. 376 00:27:45,598 --> 00:27:49,102 IT WAS LIKE A WHOLE PROCESS. >> Jimmy: WOW. >> OH, MY GOSH 377 00:27:49,102 --> 00:27:51,071 I'M SORRY. MY BABY JUST WOKE UP FROM HER NAP. 378 00:27:51,071 --> 00:27:56,109 SHE'S LIKE SCREAMING >> Jimmy: I'LL WRAP THIS UP. I'LL MAKE IT QUICK 379 00:27:56,109 --> 00:27:58,411 >> NO, NO, IT'S FINE SHE'S WITH HER DAD. IT'S COOL. 380 00:27:58,411 --> 00:28:00,613 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE LIKE -- >> IT'S LIKE LEAVING YOUR DEAD 381 00:28:00,613 --> 00:28:06,286 WITH THOSE GUYS FROM "ALMOST FAMOUS." [ LAUGHTER ] 382 00:28:06,286 --> 00:28:08,555 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. I WANT TO MAKE SURE -- I WANT TO GET YOU SO YOU CAN GO UP 383 00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:10,890 TAKE CARE OF THIS BABY WITH THIS GUY YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY. 384 00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:15,662 I DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT "SOLOS." IT'S ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO AND 385 00:28:15,662 --> 00:28:19,265 IT IS BASICALLY MONOLOGUES >> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: I MEAN. YOU'RE IN 386 00:28:19,265 --> 00:28:25,305 A GREAT COMPANY, BY THE WAY. MORGAN FREEMAN, HELEN MIRRIN, ANTHONY MACKIE 387 00:28:25,305 --> 00:28:28,241 CAN YOU TELL EVERYONE WHAT THIS IS >> YEAH, THEY ARE LITERALLY 388 00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:33,713 SOLOS. EVERYBODY EPISODE IS JUST ONE ACTOR, UM, TALKING 389 00:28:33,713 --> 00:28:37,250 [ BABY SCREAMING ] WHICH, YOU KNOW, I GUESS COULD BE A NIGHTMARE FOR SOME PEOPLE, 390 00:28:37,250 --> 00:28:39,953 BUT IT WAS REAL FUN FOR US [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOUR DAUGHTER JUST 391 00:28:39,953 --> 00:28:43,790 HAD A GOOD LITTLE CAMEO THERE. THAT WAS A GREAT -- I THINK HE'S TEACHING HER LED ZEPPELIN 392 00:28:43,790 --> 00:28:45,525 IS WHAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S TEACHING HER [ LAUGHTER ] 393 00:28:45,525 --> 00:28:48,695 IT SOUNDS GREAT. GOOD GOOD 394 00:28:48,695 --> 00:28:52,632 GET THOSE LUNGS. I LOVE IT, GIRL. I LOVE IT. 395 00:28:52,632 --> 00:28:56,569 PLEASE GIVE HER A HUG AND A KISS FROM ME AND I WANT TO SHOW EVERYBODY IN 396 00:28:56,569 --> 00:28:58,505 THE CLIP, HERE'S CONSTANCE WU IN "SOLOS. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 397 00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:06,012 SO WAIT FOR IT YESTERDAY AFTERNOON I WENT TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY OF 398 00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:13,053 A 2-YEAR-OLD MY FRIEND'S LITTLE GIRL. I MEAN, OUR HUSBANDS WORK 399 00:29:13,053 --> 00:29:15,355 TOGETHER, I'VE ONLY MET HER TWICE. BUT IT WAS A COSTUME PARTY, 400 00:29:15,355 --> 00:29:23,663 OBVIOUSLY, AND VOILA I'M LIKE AN ANGEL BASICALLY. YOU KNOW, LIKE, FROM THE BIBLE 401 00:29:23,663 --> 00:29:28,368 I WAS CHECKING, THAT I DIDN'T SMELL SORT OF THING. JUST LIKE I SAID, I HAVEN'T 402 00:29:28,368 --> 00:29:32,072 BEEN HOME. I ACTUALLY THINK I MIGHT STILL BE DRUNK 403 00:29:32,072 --> 00:29:35,775 BE DRUNK I'M JENNY, BY THE WAY. I AM GREAT FUN AT PARTIES. 404 00:29:36,710 --> 00:29:37,444 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 405 00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:42,916 >> Jimmy: CONSTANCE WU, "SOLOS" IS AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO 406 00:29:42,916 --> 00:29:45,518 WE'LL BE BACK RIGHT BACK WITH BOWEN YANG, EVERYBODY. STICK AROUND 407 00:29:45,518 --> 00:29:48,755 CONGRATULATIONS, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 408 00:29:48,755 --> 00:30:06,940 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO YOU 409 00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:09,876 KNOW FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WHICH IS ALL NEW THIS WEEKEND WITH HOST ANYA TAYLOR-JOY AND 410 00:30:09,876 --> 00:30:12,912 MUSICAL GUEST LIL NAS X. EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME, BOWEN YANG 411 00:30:14,214 --> 00:30:32,165 * >> Jimmy: BOWEN -- I'M SO -- I'M FREAKING OUT 412 00:30:32,165 --> 00:30:34,801 >> I'M FREAKING OUT. YOU'RE FREAKING OUT? I'M FREAKING OUT 413 00:30:34,801 --> 00:30:36,770 >> Jimmy: I'M GETTING A LITTLE EMOTIONAL. LOOK AT YOU. 414 00:30:36,770 --> 00:30:39,606 COVER BOY. HELLO! HELLO! 415 00:30:39,606 --> 00:30:43,710 HELLO! >> WHAT'S THAT POSE CALLED >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I LOVE THAT 416 00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:45,945 POSE THAT POSE IS CALLED -- WHAT IS IT CALLED? 417 00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:50,884 >> IT'S CALLED, I WAS TALKING TO A FRIEND JUST NOW AND HE SAID IT'S SOMEONE JUST PUSHED 418 00:30:50,884 --> 00:30:53,386 YOU OVER THE SHOULDER AND YOU'RE LIKE, WHOA! I THINK THAT'S WHAT IT IS. 419 00:30:53,386 --> 00:30:56,556 THAT'S THE FULL ME [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: LET ME SEE WHAT THIS 420 00:30:56,556 --> 00:30:59,726 IS THIS ONE'S GOING LIKE - I THINK THIS ONE'S CALLED, "OH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA SPOIL THE END 421 00:30:59,726 --> 00:31:04,531 FOR ME." >> OH, YEAH. I HAVEN'T SEEN "MARE OF 422 00:31:04,531 --> 00:31:07,400 EASTTOWN" EPISODE FIVE YET DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE SPOILER 423 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,337 ONE. >> THAT'S THE SPOILER ONE. >> Jimmy: CONGRATS ON "SATURDAY 424 00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:13,373 NIGHT LIVE" AND EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING SUCH A GREAT JOB. THIS WHOLE CAST, THIS WHOLE 425 00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:16,443 SEASON >> YES, EVERYBODY. >> Jimmy: THE WRITERS, AND 426 00:31:16,443 --> 00:31:18,211 CAST >> AND CREW. EVERYBODY. 427 00:31:18,211 --> 00:31:20,814 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: AND CREW FOR DOING THIS 428 00:31:20,814 --> 00:31:25,618 I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE, FOR PULLING THIS SHOW OFF IN GENERAL, IS JUST AMAZING 429 00:31:25,618 --> 00:31:29,389 BUT -- YOU DID SOMETHING ON THE SHOW A COUPLE WEEKS AGO THAT GOT A LOT OF PEOPLE'S 430 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:33,727 ATTENTION. YOU PLAYED THE ICEBERG THAT -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 431 00:31:33,727 --> 00:31:38,098 >> SIDE EYEING >> Jimmy: THE ICEBERG THAT SANK THE TITANIC. 432 00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:41,267 WHERE DID THE IDEA COME FROM >> THIS? >> Jimmy: WALK ME THROUGH IT 433 00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:45,105 >> OKAY. IT IS SUCH A CRAZY JOURNEY BECAUSE THE HEAD WRITER OF 434 00:31:45,105 --> 00:31:49,009 "SNL," ONE OF THE HEAD WRITERS, ANNA DREZEN -- >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH 435 00:31:49,009 --> 00:31:50,677 >> AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE FROM COLLEGE. SHE TEXTED ME IN FEBRUARY, 436 00:31:50,677 --> 00:31:54,781 "HEY, MAYBE FOR THE APRIL 10TH SHOW, FOR THE TITANIC ANNIVERSARY, YOU CAN PLAY THE 437 00:31:54,781 --> 00:32:01,921 ICEBERG WHO SANK THE TITANIC." [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, COOL. 438 00:32:01,921 --> 00:32:06,860 MAYBE, SURE. AND THEN KIND OF RAISED MY EYEBROW AT HER OVER TEXT 439 00:32:06,860 --> 00:32:11,664 BUT THEN APRIL ROLLS AROUND AND THEN I TEXT HER, "HEY, WERE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THAT ICEBERG 440 00:32:11,664 --> 00:32:13,633 IDEA?" AND SHE WAS LIKE, "I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT. 441 00:32:13,633 --> 00:32:18,304 LET'S DO IT. WHY NOT? AND THEN THE ENTIRE WEEK WE DID 442 00:32:18,304 --> 00:32:20,940 IT, WE JUST -- WE'RE LOSING OUR MINDS A LITTLE BIT CAUSE WE KEPT LOOKING AT EACH 443 00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:26,746 OTHER AND BURSTING OUT LAUGHING, LIKE, ON SATURDAY AT, LIKE, 7:00 P.M., AS YOU'RE 444 00:32:26,746 --> 00:32:30,550 SUPPOSED TO TURN IN SCRIPTS, WE WERE LIKE, "WHAT ARE WE DOING? >> Jimmy: YEAH 445 00:32:30,550 --> 00:32:32,786 [ LAUGHTER ] >> "THIS WILL NEVER MAKE IT ON TO TV. 446 00:32:32,786 --> 00:32:36,790 WILL PEOPLE GET IT BECAUSE THERE'S JUST SO MUCH GOING ON HERE. 447 00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:39,859 >> Jimmy: THE ICEBERG CAME ON UPDATE TO PROMOTE -- >> HIS ALBUM 448 00:32:39,859 --> 00:32:44,764 >> Jimmy: YES. HE HAS A TECHNO -- >> IT'S A HYPERPOP EDM. NEW 449 00:32:44,764 --> 00:32:47,734 DISCO FANTASIA >> Jimmy: SORRY. >> SO IT'S A LOT OF GENRES 450 00:32:47,734 --> 00:32:49,703 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S A LOT OF GENRES IN THERE. 451 00:32:49,703 --> 00:32:52,972 AND THEN, JUST GOT UPSET >> GOT UPSET BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE KNOWN FOR THIS THING 452 00:32:52,972 --> 00:32:56,843 THAT HAPPENED IN HIS PAST AND HE ACTUALLY FEELS VICTIMIZED BY IT 453 00:32:56,843 --> 00:33:01,715 WE PUT A LINE IN THERE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY, "YES, I REMEMBER THAT BOAT ATTACK, WHICH I THINK 454 00:33:01,715 --> 00:33:05,318 IS THE PERFECT" -- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE TITANIC SANK 455 00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:08,288 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THE ICEBERG WAS ATTACKED BY A BOAT 456 00:33:08,288 --> 00:33:10,156 >> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT [ LAUGHTER ] THE ICEBERG DID NOT MOVE 457 00:33:10,156 --> 00:33:13,960 >> NO. >> Jimmy: YEAH IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING. 458 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,696 I LOVED AND IT THEN IT WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER FOR LIKE THE NEXT THREE DAYS. 459 00:33:16,696 --> 00:33:19,632 >> OH, MY GOD. >> Jimmy: AND IT WAS MASSIVE >> Jimmy: BY THE WAY 460 00:33:19,632 --> 00:33:22,602 THE MOTHER'S DAY SHOW, YOUR MOM WAS FANTASTIC. PLEASE TELL HER I THOUGHT SHE 461 00:33:22,602 --> 00:33:24,771 WAS SO FUNNY MOM, YOU WERE GREAT. >> OH, SHE WAS GREAT 462 00:33:24,771 --> 00:33:27,307 SHE WAS GREAT. >> Jimmy: THE PURELL >> PURELL. 463 00:33:27,307 --> 00:33:30,910 SHE COULDN'T HANDLE THE PROP >> Jimmy: WAS SHE NERVOUS? >> SHE WAS VERY NERVOUS. 464 00:33:30,910 --> 00:33:34,080 SHE WOULDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS NERVOUS, BUT EVERYONE COMPLIMENTED HER IN THE STUDIO 465 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,117 LIKE YOU HANDLED THE PROPS GREAT. SHE'S LIKE THE CARROT TOP AND 466 00:33:37,117 --> 00:33:42,922 GALLAGHER OF MOMS. >> Jimmy: SHE REALLY IS. OH, MY GOODNESS. 467 00:33:42,922 --> 00:33:46,192 SO FUNNY I REMEMBER MY MOM WAS ON THE MOTHER'S DAY THING 468 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:48,862 AND SHE WAS SO NERVOUS SHE WAS FREAKING OUT AND I REMEMBER AT THE 469 00:33:48,862 --> 00:33:52,232 BEGINNING, WE DID A MONOLOGUE WITH ALL THE MOMS. AND EVERYONE'S THERE, YOU KNOW, 470 00:33:52,232 --> 00:33:55,168 WITH THEIR MOMS OR DADS, YOU KNOW AND WE'RE ALL STANDING AROUND. 471 00:33:55,168 --> 00:33:59,639 AND I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE A DISASTER, GET SOMETHING IN 472 00:33:59,639 --> 00:34:02,709 YOUR EYE WHEN THERE'S 30 MOMS ON STAGE BECAUSE, I GO LIKE - 473 00:34:02,709 --> 00:34:04,244 SOMEBODY'S GOING LIKE, "HOLD YOUR LID OUT AND ROLL YOUR EYE BACK 474 00:34:04,244 --> 00:34:08,715 BLOW IN IT NO, PUT WATER IN IT. NO, BLOWING WILL BE FINE." 475 00:34:08,715 --> 00:34:10,917 THEY'RE GRABBING MY HEAD AND I'M LIKE, "OKAY. GUYS, HOLD ON. 476 00:34:10,917 --> 00:34:13,319 >> THAT'S BEAUTIFUL TO BE SCREAMED AT BY THAT MANY MOMS. >> Jimmy: IT WAS A FANTASTIC 477 00:34:13,319 --> 00:34:16,589 MOTHER'S DAY MOMENT FOR ME >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I FOLLOW YOU ON 478 00:34:16,589 --> 00:34:22,062 INSTAGRAM, BY THE WAY. I FOLLOW @FAYEDUNAWAY. >> FAYE DUNAWAY IS THE HANDLE. 479 00:34:22,062 --> 00:34:26,966 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I JUST THINK THAT'S 480 00:34:26,966 --> 00:34:28,935 INTERESTING. >> YEAH. IT'S INTERESTING 481 00:34:28,935 --> 00:34:30,603 I -- ALL I WANT IS FOR FAYE DUNAWAY, THE REAL OSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS, TO LIKE 482 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:37,377 SUE ME OR SOMETHING. >> Jimmy: WOULD YOU GO TO COURT? 483 00:34:37,377 --> 00:34:41,081 >> I WOULD GO TO COURT I WOULD -- I WOULD GET LOCKED INTO LIKE THE LONGEST BATTLE 484 00:34:41,081 --> 00:34:45,719 WITH HER ALL I WANT IS JUST TO LIKE - >> Jimmy: TALK TO HER. 485 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,288 A CEASE AND DESIST OR -- YEAH. >> Jimmy: SHE'S WATCHING FAYE 486 00:34:48,288 --> 00:34:50,924 >> FAYE. >> Jimmy: FAYE DUNAWAY LEGENDARY. 487 00:34:50,924 --> 00:34:54,961 >> LEGENDARY ACTRESS, FAYE DUNAWAY >> Jimmy: AMAZING, GORGEOUS. 488 00:34:54,961 --> 00:34:59,566 >> ALL I WANT IS FOR TO YOU REACH OUT TO ME AND CALL ME, "THAT SNIVELING HOMOSEXUAL." 489 00:34:59,566 --> 00:35:03,503 AND -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU 490 00:35:03,503 --> 00:35:05,138 WANT >> AND -- YES IT IS WHAT I WANT 491 00:35:05,138 --> 00:35:07,607 IT IS WHAT I WANT! CAUSE SHE'S -- SHE'S FANTASTIC AND I JUST WANT HER TO INSULT 492 00:35:07,607 --> 00:35:13,313 ME AND SAY "YOU GIVE THAT HANDLE TO ME I WANT TO BE ON INSTAGRAM WITH 493 00:35:13,313 --> 00:35:16,950 EVERYBODY ELSE." >> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK SHE WOULD CARE ABOUT INSTAGRAM, BUT 494 00:35:16,950 --> 00:35:18,718 I THINK THAT SHE CARES ABOUT YOU, AND THAT YOU LOVE HER AND I THINK THAT SHE WOULD SAY, 495 00:35:18,718 --> 00:35:25,258 "HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'VE GOT MY BLESSING." >> WOW 496 00:35:25,258 --> 00:35:27,193 I HOPE THAT HAPPENS. >> Jimmy: "AND I LOVE YOU AND CONGRATS ON YOUR SUCCESS, 497 00:35:27,193 --> 00:35:28,962 BOWEN YANG." >> JIMMY, THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. 498 00:35:28,962 --> 00:35:33,066 >> Jimmy: DUDE, YOU'RE THE GREATEST I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, PAL. 499 00:35:33,066 --> 00:35:35,502 BOWEN YANG, THE SEASON FINALE OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AIRS THIS SATURDAY. 500 00:35:35,502 --> 00:35:38,905 STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A MUSIC PERFORMANCE FROM 501 00:35:38,905 --> 00:35:43,276 LORD HURON FEATURING ALLISON PONTHIER COME ON BACK 502 00:35:43,276 --> 00:36:03,229 * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "I LIED" FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM 'LONG 503 00:36:03,229 --> 00:36:06,066 LOST," HERE'S LORD HURON FEATURING ALLISON PONTHIER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 504 00:36:35,662 --> 00:36:42,602 * I SWORE THAT I'D BECOME A BETTER MAN FOR YOU AND I TRIED * 505 00:36:42,602 --> 00:36:50,477 * TRIED TO CHANGE MY WAYS AN WALK THE LINE YOU FOLLOW 506 00:36:50,477 --> 00:36:57,884 I BORE A FLAME THAT BURNED * * A THOUSAND SUNS FOR YOU BUT IT DIE 507 00:36:57,884 --> 00:37:05,158 TOLD YOU I COULD NEVER * * LOVE SOMEBODY ELS BUT I LIED 508 00:37:05,158 --> 00:37:10,597 OH I LIED * OH I LIED * * 509 00:37:10,597 --> 00:37:27,614 OH I LIED * * * 510 00:37:46,366 --> 00:37:50,070 * I TOLD YOU I'D BE COMIN BACK AGAIN FOR YOU * 511 00:37:50,070 --> 00:37:59,779 * BUT I'M NOT GOING WAY OUT WHERE THE * * WORLD WILL NEVER FIND M 512 00:37:59,779 --> 00:38:06,119 I MADE A CLAIM THAT I WOUL DANCE UNTIL WE'RE * * BONES WITH MY BRIDE 513 00:38:06,119 --> 00:38:18,665 TOLD YOU I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE * * BUT I LIE 514 00:38:18,665 --> 00:38:35,949 LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE * * BUT I LIE OOH OOH OOH OO 515 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:44,724 I READ YOUR LETTER IN THE MORNING BY THE LAKE * 516 00:38:44,724 --> 00:38:50,163 * AND I CRIED THEY WERE TEARS OF JOY MY CHAINS ARE * 517 00:38:50,163 --> 00:38:57,504 * FINALLY BROKE I MADE A VOW TO STAND * * BESIDE YOU 'TIL 518 00:38:57,504 --> 00:39:05,578 THE DAY THAT I DIE TOLD YOU I COULD NEVER * * LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOV 519 00:39:05,578 --> 00:39:25,932 BUT I LIED OH I LIED * * OH, I LIE 520 00:39:25,932 --> 00:39:47,053 OH I LIE OH I LIED * * OH I LIED 521 00:39:47,053 --> 00:39:49,289 * OH I LIED OH I LIED * * 522 00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:54,561 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 523 00:39:54,561 --> 00:39:56,429 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU TO LORD HURON AND ALLISON PONTHIER 524 00:39:56,429 --> 00:39:59,599 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" WHEN WE COME BACK. COME ON BACK EVERYBODY 525 00:39:59,599 --> 00:40:15,915 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: JOIN US NEXT WEEK -- 526 00:40:15,915 --> 00:40:20,253 KEVIN HART, SOFIA VERGARA, AND JULIANNE MOORE WILL BE HERE. AND ON MONDAY, DAVE GROHL OF 527 00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:22,989 THE FOO FIGHTERS WILL BE MY CO-HOST! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 528 00:40:22,989 --> 00:40:29,229 MY THANKS TO CONSTANCE WU, BOWEN YANG [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 529 00:40:29,229 --> 00:40:32,732 LORD HURON, ALLISON PONTHIER, AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 530 00:40:32,732 --> 00:40:36,970 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 531 00:40:36,970 --> 00:40:36,970 SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY *