>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - BLAKE SHELTON.
FRAN LEBOWITZ. MUSICAL GUESTS REGARD, TROYE SIVAN, AND TATE McRAE,
FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1466
>> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THIS IS A ROWDY CROWD TONIGHT.
ALL OF MY ROWDY FRIENDS ARE HERE WELCOME, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU
FOR BEING HERE THANK YOU. WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS TODAY PRESIDENT BIDEN GAVE HIS FIRST COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS AS
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF AT THE COAST GUARD ACADEMY GRADUATION BIDEN'S SPEECH LASTED ABOUT
30 MINUTES UNTIL A COAST GUARD CAPTAIN FIRED OFF A RESCUE FLARE.
IT'S LIKE, "WRAP IT UP, BUDDY. [ LAUGHTER ] EVEN NAVY S.E.A.L.S WERE
LOOKING AT THE COAST GUARD LIKE, "HOW DID YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THAT?"
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THIS WAS NICE, BIDEN PERSONALLY HANDED OUT DIPLOMAS
TO ALL 240 GRADUATES, THEN FOX NEWS CRITICIZED HIM FOR MORE GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YOU COULD TELL BIDEN IS 78 BECAUSE HE ALSO GAVE
EVERY GRADUATE A CHECK FOR $10 [ LAUGHTER ] "DON'T SPEND IT ALL IN ONE
PLACE. AT THE END OF HIS VISIT, BIDEN RECEIVED A GIFT, IT WAS PRETTY
SPECIAL. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> ON BEHALF OF THE CLASS OF 2021, I WOULD YOU LIKE TO PRESENT TO YOU THIS TOKEN OF
OUR APPRECIATION >> WHAT A GREAT GIFT [ APPLAUSE ]
HOPE I WON'T NEED THIS ANY TIME SOON [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD JOKE AND HE SAID THE SAME THING AT CHRISTMAS WHEN HIS GRANDKIDS
GOT HIM A LIFE ALERT [ LAUGHTER ] ON HIS RIDE HOME HE USED A
A SWORD TO OPEN HIS STRING CHEESE YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] ANYWAY, THAT'LL EXPLAIN WHY HE SHOWS UP TO HIS NEXT EVENT
WEARING AN EYE PATCH YOU WHAT I'M SAYING? WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO WITH
THIS POPPING BOTTLES OF ENSURE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
SIDE NOTE, BY THE WAY -- WHY DOES THE COAST GUARD CARRY SWORDS
SHOULDN'T IT BE A HARPOON OR SOMETHING? [ LAUGHTER ]
GUARDING THE COAST LIKE, "SOMETHING'S COMING DOWN THE COAST!
LET'S WAIT UNTIL THEY LAND AND GET ABOUT TWO FEET FROM US AND THEN WE CAN DEFEND OURSELVES."
GET THEM BAZOOKAS, WHAT ARE WE DOING? BIDEN SPENT THE DAY WITH THE
COAST GUARD'S NEWEST GRADUATES WHICH BRINGS US TO A NEW SEGMENT CALLED, "INSPIRING
WORDS FROM YOUR COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF."
* >> YOU ARE REALLY A DULL CLASS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HEY, THIS IS INTERESTING.
I SAW THAT KIDS AGES 13 TO 17 CAN OFFICIALLY TRADE STOCKS WITH FIDELITY'S NEW
YOUTH INVESTING ACCOUNTS YEAH, YOU'LL KNOW YOUR KIDS ARE TOO INTO TRADING WHEN THEY'RE
UP AT 3:00 A.M. FOR THE ASIAN MARKETS, DOWNING PIXY STIX [ LAUGHTER ]
I CAN ALREADY SEE A DAD THREATENING TO CUT OFF HIS SON'S ALLOWANCE AND THE SON
JUST SMILES AND LIGHTS A CIGAR WITH A 50. [ LAUGHTER ]
"WHY DON'T YOU GO MOW THE LAWN, DAD? [ LAUGHTER ]
GET THIS, GOOGLE JUST ANNOUNCED A NEW PRIVACY FEATURE THAT WILL ALLOW USERS TO DELETE THE LAST
15 MINUTES OF THEIR SEARCH HISTORY. IT'S EASY, YOU JUST GO TO
SETTINGS AND TURN ON PERV MODE [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S VERY SIMPLE
SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS, DUNKIN' DONUTS JUST ANNOUNCED A NEW PARTNERSHIP WITH A PAINT
COMPANY FOR THE CHAIN'S FIRST EVER PAINT COLLECTION. FOR ANYONE WHO'S EVER WALKED
INTO A DUNKIN' DONUTS AND WAS LIKE, "I WANT TO LIVE HERE." [ LAUGHTER ]
I SAW THAT NEXT MONTH GENERAL MILLS IS RELEASING FOUR OF ITS MOST POPULAR CEREALS IN OATMEAL
FORM OR YOU COULD JUST POUR MILK INTO YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL AND
WAIT LITERALLY TEN SECONDS [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S WHEATIES.
IT'S SPACKLE THAT'S RIGHT, LUCKY CHARMS OATMEAL.
AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A HEALTHIER BREAKFAST OPTION I RECOMMEND DRINKING DUNKIN'
DONUTS PAINT I'M NOT A DOCTOR FINALLY, I READ ABOUT AN AIR
FRANCE FLIGHT THAT TRAVELED NEARLY SEVEN HOURS FROM PARIS TO MONTREAL POWERED BY USED
COOKING OIL. THAT IS GREAT IF YOU DON'T MIND SPENDING SEVEN HOURS KNOWING
THAT YOU'RE ON A PLANE POWERED BY USED COOKING OIL. IT'S LIKE, ONLY 6 HOURS AND
49 MINUTES LEFT EVERYBODY. WE'RE ALMOST -- WE CAN DO THIS WE CAN DO THIS
YEP, THE COOKING OIL FLIGHT LANDED ON TIME, BUT THEY HAD TO WAIT 10 MINUTES UNDER A HEAT
LAMP UNTIL SOMEONE CAME AND PICKED THEM UP [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
FOR YOU TONIGHT. HE IS A COACH ON "THE VOICE" ON
NBC. BLAKE SHELTON IS HERE. [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: PLUS JOINING US IN STUDIO, ONE OF OUR FAVORITES, FROM THE NETFLIX SERIES
"PRETEND IT'S A CITY," FRAN LEBOWITZ IS HERE IN STUDIO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM REGARD, TROYE SIVAN, AND
TATE McRAE WOW! I WANT TO GET THAT TRUCK THAT
BIDEN WAS AT -- THAT FORD THING. >> Steve: OH, THE ELECTRIC
TRUCK? >> Jimmy: THE ELECTRIC TRUCK I'VE GOT TO GET IT
I WANT TO GET IT I LOOKED INTO IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I'M A TRUCK
DRIVER >> Steve: YOU'RE SUPER TRUCKY. >> Jimmy: I AM
I'VE GOT AN F-150. ASK ME HOW BIG MY TRUCK IS >> Steve: HOW BIG IS YOUR
TRUCK? >> Jimmy: BIG ENOUGH [ LAUGHTER ]
I LOOKED INTO THIS I GOT MY TRUCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO HAUL PUMPKINS AROUND PUMPKIN
SEASON >> Steve: PUMPKIN LATTES OR PUMPKINS?
>> Jimmy: PUMPKIN SEASON -- PUMPKINS, MAN. PUMPKIN SEASON COMES, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO PUT A TOWEL DOWN IN THE BACK SEAT
>> Steve: NO, YOU'D LOOK LIKE A FOOL [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO STRAP IT INTO THE KIDS' SEAT. MAKE SURE THE PUMPKIN -- I
DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR PUMPKINS >> Steve: RIDICULOUS RIDICULOUS
>> Jimmy: YOU GET A FORD F-150, YOU CAN THROW LIKE A HUNDRED PUMPKINS IN THE BACK
>> Steve: A THOUSAND PUMPKINS, YOU GET A TRAILER HITCH, YOU'RE SET.
>> Jimmy: ANYWAYS, I LOVE IT IT'S BIGGER THAN MY FIRST STUDIO APARTMENT
IT IS THE MOST ROOMIEST, BEST THING IN THE WORLD I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
ANYWAYS, THIS NEW ONE IS THE JAM. THIS NEW ELECTRIC ONE.
THEY'RE JUST ANNOUNCING IT SO IT'S THE FASTEST ACCELERATION OF ANY F-150, ZERO
TO 60 IN 4.5 SECONDS >> Steve: OOH. THERE GOES THE PUMPKINS OUT THE
BACK [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND THAT'S HOW YOU
MAKE PUMPKIN LATTE >> Steve: EXACTLY. >> Jimmy: FORGOT TO PUT THE
HATCH UP, YEAH TOWS UP TO 10,000 POUNDS SO I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO HAVE
THE PUMPKINS IN MY TRUCK >> Steve: NO, YOU HAVE A A TRAILER, 10,000 POUNDS A
A PUMPKIN, GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE SET FOR A WEEK >> Jimmy: THIS IS THE THING
THAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THAT I LOOKED INTO LISTEN TO THIS
IT'S ELECTRIC. STORES ENOUGH BACK-UP POWER TO POWER A HOME FOR SEVERAL DAYS.
>> Steve: WHAT >> Jimmy: YOU COULD PLUG YOUR HOUSE INTO THIS THING.
I WOULD JUST LIVE IN THE TRUCK YOU CAN POWER A HOUSE FOR SEVERAL DAYS -
>> Steve: SEVERAL OR SEVEN [ LAUGHTER ] EITHER WAY THAT IS A LOT OF
POWER. >> Jimmy: SEVERAL. >> Steve: SEVERAL DAYS
>> Jimmy: BUT THEN HERE IS THE JAM. SO THEY DON'T HAVE AN ENGINE,
RIGHT? BECAUSE IT'S A BATTERY THING I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
ALL THE ENGINE IS UNDERNEATH I GUESS. >> Steve: RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: SO THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THE FRONT SO THEY CHANGED THE FRONT TO A
A TRUNK. SO THEY'RE CALLING IT, I SWEAR, CALLING IT A FRUNK
>> Steve: A FRUNK? >> Jimmy: YES! >> Steve: SO YOU'D HAVE FRUNK
IN YOUR TRUNK? >> Jimmy: THERE IS NO TRUNK! >> Steve: THERE'S NO TRUNK,
THERE'S JUST A FRUNK >> Jimmy: THIS FRUNK IS -- YOU PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT.
YOU COULD PUT THE TRUNK IN YOUR FRUNK. >> Steve: CAN YOU PUT PUMPKINS
IN THE FRUNK >> Jimmy: YES! 'CAUSE I WAS LOOKING INTO IT,
AND I GO, "TALK TO ME ABOUT THE FRUNK. YOU CAN'T FAKE THE FUNK ON THE
NASTY FRUNK. [ LAUGHTER ] IT HOLDS 400 POUNDS OF PAY
LOAD >> PAY LOAD. >> Jimmy: PUMPKINS, YEAH
PAY LOAD POWER OPEN AND CLOSE, SURE POWER OUTLETS IN THE FRUNK
BUT THEN CHECK THIS THING OUT. SO I DON'T KNOW IF I UNDERSTAND THIS
'CAUSE THERE'S NO PHOTOS OF IT >> Steve: ARE YOU GONNA MAKE A A SCHEMATIC NOW OF THE FRUNK
>> Jimmy: WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO SEE IF WE CAN - [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: AND HE KEPT ON WRITING. FOR SEVEN DAYS AND SEVEN
NIGHTS >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO
>> Steve: LET ME SEE THE FRUNK >> Jimmy: WELL, NO, I JUST DID THAT AND THAT LOOKS WEIRD NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] SO I'LL DO THAT THERE. SO THIS IS KIND OF THE IDEA.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK. HERE IS THE NEW FORD F-150, SO THIS IS IT
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: THAT'S DISCO >> Jimmy: THIS IS OFFICIALLY
IT [ APPLAUSE ] I MESSED UP BECAUSE --
>> Steve: THANK GOD, YOU - >> Jimmy: -- AND THEN I GO, ONCE I PUT IN THE STEERING
WHEEL AND THEN I GOT TO PUT, YOU KNOW, A MIRROR IN. >> Steve: BECAUSE I DIDN'T --
NOW THAT YOU'VE DRAWN THAT, IT'S TOTALLY CLEAR I HAD NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEANT
BY - [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS TOTALLY CONFUSED
I WAS GOING, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? "WHERE ARE MY CAR KEYS
I'M CONFUSED." >> Jimmy: SO CHECK THIS OUT, SO THE FRUNK --
SO ALSO CHECK THIS THING OUT, IN THE FRUNK ITSELF, IT'S WATER RESISTANT, OKAY?
SO THEY -- AND THEY HAVE A A DRAIN IN THERE I WENT ON ALL SORT OF WEBSITES
>> Steve: HOT TUB? >> Questlove: I'VE GOT IT. YOU PUT YOUR BEER IN THERE
IT'S A FRUNKY BREWSTER THAT'S WHERE THE KEEP THE BEER *
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: ONLY IF YOU'RE NOT DRIVING.
ONLY IF YOU'RE NOT DRIVING >> Steve: YEAH, NOT DRIVING, YOU'RE PARKED.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OR IT'S A NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER >> Steve: RIGHT, LIKE PUMPKIN
BEER >> Jimmy: BUT YOU CAN -- I DID READ, YOU CAN PUT ICE IN THE
FRUNK. >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: SO IT'S A GIANT
COOLER >> Tariq: THAT'S AWESOME >> Jimmy: AND AS IT DRAINS -- I
KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. >> Steve: WHAT >> Jimmy: FILL IT WITH WATER
AND GET A LITTLE HOT TUB >> Steve: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
GET LIKE TWO SOUS VIDES PUT THEM ON EITHER SIDE. >> Jimmy: FORD AND -- FORD
KNOWS, BECAUSE I DO DRIVE MY TRUCK EVERYWHERE I'M INTO THIS THING.
I WANT TO GO ELECTRIC. FIND ME. YEAH, FIND ME.
>> Steve: YEAH, FIND ME. FIND ME, FORD. >> Jimmy: SO FORD, PUT UP --
I'LL PUT UP THE BAT SIGNAL TONIGHT AND THEN YOU PUT UP -- >> Steve: A FRUNK SIGNAL
>> Jimmy: YOU PUT UP YOUR FRUNK AND TRY TO MATCH IT SO THAT OUR SIGNALS --
>> Steve: SO THEY -- >> Jimmy: -- CROSSING BUT I WANT TO GO ELECTRIC.
I'M READY FOR THIS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE F IN F-150 STANDS FOR -
>> Steve: FRUNK? >> Jimmy: FALLON >> Steve: OH, FALLON
YES. >> Jimmy: FALLON ANYWAYS, I'VE GOT TO MAKE THIS
HAPPEN DID YOU SEE THAT PRESIDENT BIDEN ACTUALLY TEST
DROVE THE ELECTRIC - >> Steve: YES. >> Jimmy: IT WAS IN MICHIGAN
YESTERDAY, BUT THEY GAVE HIM A A FULL TOUR OF THE WHOLE THING AND ANYWAYS, HE HAD SOME THINGS
TO TEACH THEM AS WELL, APPARENTLY >> REALLY?
>> Jimmy: WELL, THEY ROLLED DOWN THE WINDOW AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE THOUGHT OF THE TRUNK
HERE'S WHAT HE HAD TO SAY.
>> I LOVE WATCHING CARS GET
MADE, MAC. FIRST CAR I EVER HAD WAS A A PACKARD MAYFAIR, V-8 ENGINE,
PURRED LIKE A SICK ALLEY CAT IT'D LEAVE BEHIND OIL SPOTS SO THICK, OLD LADIES WOULD SCOOP
IT UP AND USE IT TO STIFFEN THEIR BEEHIVE HAIRDOS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: REALLY THAT'S WHAT HE SAID TO THEM? >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, LATER
IN HIS TOUR OF THE PLANT, HE WAS LOOKING AT THE WHOLE PLANT IN MICHIGAN AND HE SAID THIS
WAY SINCE I WAS YOUR GUYS' AGE THE MOST ADVANCED THING WE HAD
WAS A WOODROW WILSON PINBALL MACHINE. IN WINTER, WE'D HAVE TO GATHER
AROUND IT FOR WARMTH THE GLASS WOULD GET SO HOT YOU COULD THROW PEANUTS ON IT.
COOK THEM RIGHT UP YOU COULD MAKE A HOT PEANUT SCRAMBLE
THREE PEANUTS WOULD FEED A A FAMILY OF FIVE FOR A WHOLE WEEK
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOW, WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
>> Jimmy: HE'S AT THE PLANT, MIGHT AS WELL TALK ABOUT THE TRUCK OR SOMETHING
THEN HE LEFT THEM WITH THIS.
>> MY UNCLE'S FATHER USED TO
WORK IN A LEMONADE MIX FACTORY ON THE WEEKENDS HE'D USE THE KEYS TO TAKE US IN THERE WHEN
IT WAS EMPTY HE LET US STUFF OUR POCKETS FULL OF LEMONADE MIX AND THEN
WE WOULD GO HOME AND JUMP IN THE BATHTUB WITH OUR PANTS ON. THAT WAS THE CLOSEST THING WE
HAD TO A MOVIE THEATER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: REALLY
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, MAN. THEY GOT HIM OUT OF THERE. GUYS, STICK AROUND
WE'LL RIGHT BACK WITH "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS. COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: SO FUNNY
>> Steve: SO FUNNY >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
IT IS -- YOU WANT TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT YOU WERE TELLING ME
>> Steve: OH, IT'S A FANTASTIC STORY. IT'S ABOUT ONE TIME WHEN YOU
WENT OUT - >> Jimmy: WE DON'T HAVE TIME WE DON'T HAVE TIME
>> Steve: AWW. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT WE DO HAVE TIME
FOR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * HASHTAG HASHTAGS *
>> Jimmy: NOW WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND ASK YOU GUYS TO
RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. SO, SINCE THE BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS ARE THIS WEEKEND I SENT
OUT A HASHTAG CALLED "MISHEARD LYRICS." WHERE I ASKED YOU GUYS TO TELL
US ABOUT A SONG LYRIC THAT YOU, OR A FRIEND, HAVE MISHEARD WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS THE
NUMBER ONE TRENDING TOPIC. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I MEAN, IT ERUPT
ALL DAY LONG THANK YOU. OUR TWITTER FRIENDS AND FANS
ARE PLAYING. NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE MISHEARD LYRICS
RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS. THE FIRST ONE IS FROM @MARISSAROSIE22.
SHE SAID, "I THOUGHT 'TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE,' WAS 'I'VE GOT TWO CHICKENS TO PARALYZE.'
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: DARK
>> Steve: THAT'S A DARK SONG >> Jimmy: TWO CHICKENS TO PARALYZE
>> Steve: PACK THEIR BAGS AND WE'LL LEAVE TONIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH
YEAH, MAYBE HE'S GOING ON LIKE A BARBECUE OR SOMETHING. >> Steve: YEAH, THEY'RE GONNA
HAVE A BARBEQUE. THIS ONE'S FROM @MOMMYBIRD97 SHE SAYS, "MY YOUNGER BROTHER
THOUGHT 'STAYING ALIVE' WENT - * AH, AH, AH, STAY IN THE LIN STAY IN THE LINE *
" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD. >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: LINE DANCING THIS ONE IS FROM @LACYTHECOOLEST.
SHE SAYS, "MY AUNT THOUGHT IT WAS 'DROP IT LIKE A HAWK.' [ LAUGHTER ]
* DROP IT LIKE A HAWK DROP IT LIKE A HAW DROP IT LIKE HAWK *
* WHEN THE PIGS TRY TO GET YOU * >> Steve: I CAN GET THAT
* WHEN THE PIGS TRY T GET YOU * >> Steve: WHAT IF THE HAWK WAS
PARALYZED? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: TOOK IT TOO FAR.
NOT MY TYPE OF HUMOR, DUDE [ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE IS FROM @SUSIEYYG
SHE SAYS, "MY FRIENDS THOUGHT THE LYRICS TO MICHAEL JACKSON'S 'WANT TO BE SOMETHING' WAS
'GOING TO SAIL TO THE SOUND OF MY COOL SONG.' INSTEAD OF 'MAMA SAY MAMA SA
MAMA COOSA.' [ LAUGHTER ] ACTUALLY MAKES MORE SENSE.
>> Steve: MORE SENSE THAN -- * GOING SAIL TO THE SOUND OF MY COOL SONG *
* GOING SAIL TO THE SOUND
OF MY COOL SONG * * GOING SAIL * *
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM @CLUBCABBESA
>> Steve: HMM. >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "I THOUGHT 'WE ARE FAMILY' WAS 'TREE TOP
FAMILY.' [ LAUGHTER ] * TREE TOP FAMILY *
* I GOT ALL MY BRANCHES WITH ME * I GOT MY BRANCHES WITH ME.
GOOD ONE THIS ONE IS FROM @THEBANANAPATCH.
>> Steve: AWWW >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "I USED TO THINK IT WAS 'PLAY THAT FUNKY
MUSIC LIFE FORM. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THAT THAT THE SONG WAS
ABOUT ALIENS ASKING HUMANS TO PLAY MUSIC." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. >> Steve: THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. *
>> Jimmy: * I'VE BEEN I THE CITY I'VE COME FROM ZURGA 1
OH YEAH * [ LAUGHTER ] * I WALKED OUT FROM
THE CORN FIELD AND MY --* *
* AND WE WERE PLA FUNKY MUSIC LIFE FORM * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I THINK THEY SHOULD REDO IT. >> Steve: YEAH, WE GOT TO DO THAT
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE'S UFO'S NOW, RIGHT >> Steve: YEAH, MAN.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS FROM @MOVOFOSHO >> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: SHE SAYS, "A FRIEND THOUGHT "BROWN EYED GIRL" STARTED WITH 'HEY THERE
RODRIGO.'" >> Steve: I DID TOO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>Jimmy: IT IS, ISN'T IT >> Steve: YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT * HEY, THERE RODRIGO *
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: IS IT "HEY WHERE DID WE GO?
WHAT IS IT >> Jimmy: HEY THERE, RODRIGO >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: I THINK IT STILL IS THE LYRIC. >> Steve: YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT IS NOW. >>Jimmy: YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ]
TELL HIM TO CHANGE IT. >> Steve: YEAH COME ON, VAN
>> Jimmy: C'MON MAN. >> Steve: GET WITH THE TIMES >> Jimmy: THIS LAST ON FROM
@HOPESLOOP SHE SAYS, "I WANT TO ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PART OF
EVERY DAY. [ LAUGHTER ] OH, THERE YOU HAVE IT.
THOSE ARE "THE TONIGHT SHOW" HASHTAGS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES GO TO TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASTAGS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BLAKE SHELTON, EVERYONE. COME ON.
* >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST, ONE OF OUR FAVORITES, HE'S A
A COUNTRY MUSIC SUPERSTAR WHO IS A COACH ON "THE VOICE." THE TWO HOUR LIVE SEASON FINALE
AIRS NEXT MONDAY IT IS JAM PACKED WITH SPECIAL GUESTS
OH MY GOSH IT'S MONDAY AND TUESDAY. THERE YOU GO
AT 8:00 P.M. ON NBC. HERE HE IS -- BLAKE SHELTON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
COME ON. WE'RE YOU REACHING OUT FOR ME. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU, BUDDY.
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO THANKS, GOOD TO SEE YOU, BUDDY THIS ISN'T EVEN BECAUSE OF
COVID. YOU'RE IN THE NEXT ROOM ZOOMING.
YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN THE ROOM WITH ME [ LAUGHTER ]
I WANT TO SAY CONGRATS ON YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED HAS THE PLANNING THE WEDDING
HAPPENING? ARE YOU HAVING A DJ OR HAVING A BAND
WHAT'S GOING -- IS IT HAPPENING SOON I DON'T HAVE TO COME
I'M NOT ASKING FOR AN INVITATION [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I ALREADY KNOW I'M NOT GETTING INVITED, BUT THIS IS THE WAY OF ME LETTING YOU KNOW.
I JUST CAN'T - I HAVE THINGS HAPPENING. I JUST CAN'T, SORRY -- PLAN
THAT FAR IN ADVANCE. BUT THANK YOU, IT MEANS A LOT. [ LAUGHTER ]
WAIT, BUT I WANT TO KNOW I HAVE QUESTIONS DO YOU HAVE A SONG
WHAT'S YOUR FIRST SONG CAN YOU TELL ME? I HAVE IDEAS
>> I THINK IT'S CALLED "THE WEDDING MARCH. >> Jimmy: NOT THAT SONG.
NOT -- THE PROCESSION. I WANT AT THE RECEPTION, YOU COME OUT OF A FOG MACHINE.
AND IT GOES -- AND IT'S LIKE, "HERE IS, MR. AND MRS. BLAKE SHELTON."
* YOU COME OUT AND YOU GO, "WHAT'S UP."
AND THEN, "NOW TIME FOR THE FIRST DANCE. THE COUPLE'S FIRST DANCE."
AND THEN WHAT DO WE HEAR >> IT'S "IF YOU LEAVE" FROM THE "PRETTY IN PINK" SOUNDTRACK.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL. >> I SWEAR
I HAVE IT RIGHT HERE >> Jimmy: O.M.D. >> WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
WE BOTH LOVE THE SONG. WE'RE BOTH FAN'S OF THE '80s WHY NOT?
WHY NOT, JIMMY >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. IF THAT'S FOR REAL
>> DO YOU KNOW THE SONG? * IF YOU LEAV DON'T LEAVE NO
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY HEART AWAY * * BUT IF *
>> Jimmy: NOW I CAN MAKE IT TO THE WEDDING, BY THE WAY. I'M VERY AVAILABLE
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW, THAT IS INCREDIBLE
THANK YOU. DON'T YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE A GREAT ONE THOUGH
WE'VE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT THAT >> Jimmy: I'D LOVE THAT ONE.
YOU COULD TAKE -- I HAD ONE I NEVER USED BECAUSE I PLANNED WEDDINGS WHEN
I WAS KID. I WAS GOING TO NAME ALL OF MY KIDS SWEE'PEA, LIKE POPEYE
I ENDED UP NOT DOING THAT. BUT MY SONG WAS GOING TO BE "TRUE LOVE WAYS," BUDDY HOLLY.
DO YOU KNOW THAT ONE >> NO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU KNOW EVERY SONG. I'VE TRIED TO STUMP YOU MANY A
A TIME YOU KNOW THAT SONG >> HOW DOES IT GO?
* JUST YOU KNOW I DA DA DA WHILE YOU AND
DA DA DA * * WILL BYE AND BY KNOW TRUE LOVE WAY
SOMETIMES WE'LL TRY * [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'M DIPPING YOU.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> THE ONLY BUDDY HOLLY SONG I REMEMBER IS THAT ONE THAT --
* WELL THE LITTLE THING THAT YOU SAY AND DO * DO YOU REMEMBER THAT ONE
* THE LITTLE THIN THAT YOU SAY AND D RAVE O
IT'S A CRAZY FEELING * >> Jimmy: "RAVE ON." I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE
NEW ALBUM. LET'S TALK ABOUT "BODY LANGUAGE."
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NICE ENOUGH TO COME ON OUR SHOW EVERY TIME YOU
HAVE A NEW ALBUM, AND EVERY TIME THE ALBUM GOES TO NUMBER ONE.
>> WHAT A COINCIDENCE. [ LAUGHTER ] MAN, THANK YOU FOR THE
OPPORTUNITY. >> Jimmy: I READ THE LINER NOTES, UNLIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE,
I READ THE LINER NOTES AND IT IS INTERESTING. I JUST NEVER SEE -- ALMOST LIKE
THE WEDDING INVITATION [ LAUGHTER ] I DIDN'T SEE MY NAME ON
ANYTHING >> WELL ACTUALLY I CONSIDER YOU A PART OF MY NBC FAMILY.
SO I'LL JUST -- YOUR GROUPED INTO THAT WHEN IT SAYS THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WOW. I'M GOING TO BE THERE THOUGH WHEN YOU GO ON TOUR.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY -- IT'S HAPPENING. YOU'RE GOING TO GO OUT ON TOUR
>> WE ANNOUNCED IT -- I MEAN, YES. IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
I BELIEVE IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN SO - >> Jimmy: THERE YOU HAVE IT.
I HAVE IT HERE AUGUST 18th, CALLED "FRIENDS AND HEROES."
SO - [ CLEARS THROAT I'M ONE OF THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ] I SHOULD BE THERE. >> AGAIN, IT'S -- YOU'RE MORE
OF IN THE FAMILY SO THAT'S FRIENDS AND HEROES, I'LL PUT YOU IN THE FAMILY
CATEGORY >> Jimmy: SO IF I GO SEE THE SHOW -- IF I GO SEE
BLAKE SHELTON ON THE SHOW, WOULD YOU HAVE TRACE ADKINS? I'M FRIENDS WITH HIM
MARTINA McBRIDE. I CAN TALK TO EITHER ONE OF THOSE.
BUT IF I GET TICKETS, I'M IN THE FAMILY SEATS >> YES
OF COURSE. RIGHT OFF TO THE SIDE. WE LET ALL OF THE FAMILY HANG
OUT BACK STAGE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WILL I SEE YOU
>> FOR THE VIP EXPERIENCE -- THE VIP EXPERIENCE FOR YOU, BUDDY.
>> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT "THE VOICE. WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THE
FINALE >> WELL, YOU SAID IT BEFORE, THERE IS A TON OF ARTISTS
COMING ON. GUEST ARTISTS, I DON'T KNOW WHO ALL THEY'VE ANNOUNCED.
I'LL JUST TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH I SAW THAT JUSTIN BEIBER IS
GOING TO BE ON THE FINALE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GWEN STEFANI IS ON THE FINALE.
>> Jimmy: ARE WE GOING TO SEE ADAM LEVINE? >> MAROON 5, THEY'RE GOING TO
BE ON THE FINALE MAROON 5 >> Jimmy: MAROON 5
>> YES >> Jimmy: ADAM LEVINE WAS -- >> NOTICE I DIDN'T SAY HIS
NAME I SAID THE BAND'S NAME >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY
HIS NAME WHEN HE COMES ON, HE'S THE KING OF "THE VOICE.
THAT'S WHAT WE ALL KNOW HIM AS [ LAUGHTER ] >> HE'S COMING BACK FOR THAT
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO BE ON THERE SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. HERE'S BLAKE SHELTON ON "THE
VOICE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
A STAGE WITHOUT ANY INSTRUMENT, ANYTHING BACKING YOU UP, ANYTHING TO HIDE BEHIND.
JUST YOU AND YOUR VOICE ON NBC LIVE NATIONAL TELEVISION, THAT TAKES A LOT OF NERVE, MAN, AND
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL I MEAN, I'M GOING TO DOUBLE DOWN
THIS GUY IS A SUPERSTAR. HE IS 19 YEARS OLD, AMERICA. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH
>> THIS YOUNG MAN IS GOING TO GO FAR VERY FAR IN THIS BUSINESS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: AND THAT IS WHY WE LOVE THAT SHOW
WE LOVE YOU. BLAKE SHELTON, EVERYBODY WHEN WE COME BACK,
KELLY CLARKSON IS JOINING US FOR "THE JINX CHALLENGE. STICK AROUND
COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH
BLAKE SHELTON. IT'S TIME FOR "THE JINX CHALLENGE.
HERE WE GO
* JINX J -- J -
J -- JINX CHALLENGE * >> Jimmy: NOW TO PLAY THIS GAME, WE'RE EACH GONNA NEED
A PARTNER. ON BLAKE'S TEAM, PLEASE WELCOME FELLOW COACH AND OUR BUDDY ON
"THE VOICE," KELLY CLARKSON. YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
COME ON NOW. YES. I'M SO HAPPY
I WILL BE PLAYING WITH THE ONE AND ONLY TARIQ TROTTER, RIGHT HERE
* NOW HERE'S HOW IT WORKS. WE'RE GOING TO TEST HOW STRONG
YOUR CONNECTION IS TO YOUR TEAMMATE OKAY, WE'RE GONNA TAKE TURNS
>> HE WAS PLAYING WITH HIM LAST TIME >> YEAH.
Y'ALL PLAYED TOGETHER, SO THIS IS NOT FAIR. >> Y'ALL HAVE A --
YEAH Y'ALL HAVE, LIKE, A THING. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WHAT WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS GETTING A CATEGORY THAT WILL
APPEAR ON THE SCREEN WHEN YOU MAKE -- THEN YOU'LL MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOUR
TEAMMATE >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: YOU'LL BOTH COUNT TO
THREE, AND THEN BOTH SAY SOMETHING FROM THAT CATEGORY AT THE SAME TIME.
IF YOU SAY THE SAME THING, IT'S A JINX, AND YOU GET A POINT. IF YOU DON'T SAY THE SAME
THING, THE OTHER TEAM HAS A CHANCE TO STEAL. MAKE SENSE, BLAKE?
DON'T EVEN -- JUST, YES. JUST SAY YES >> DON'T FAIL.
>> Jimmy: ALRIGHT, NOW HERE WE GO >> THIS IS ALREADY A STUPID
GAME [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: NOW, TARIQ, PLEASE
JUST DON'T SAY IT. LIKE, JUST -- YOU CAN THINK IT, JUST DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD
TARIQ AND I ARE UP FIRST AND WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE
WHAT IS THE FIRST CATEGORY OKAY "OLYMPIC EVENTS.
OLYMPIC -- TARIQ, YOU WATCH THE OLYMPICS, RIGHT? >> Tariq: MM-HMM
>> Jimmy: OLYMPIC EVENT, OKAY? THINK OF AN OLYMPIC EVENT. AN OLYMPIC EVENT
ONE, TWO, THREE. >> Jimmy: JAVELIN. >> Tariq: GYMNASTICS
[ BUZZER SOUND ] WHAT, JAVELIN? DID YOU SAY JAVELIN?
DID YOU THINK IT WAS JAVELIN >> Jimmy: JAVELIN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY, LET'S WIN >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO, GUYS YOU MAKE EYE CONTACT
>> OKAY. THEN DO WE COUNT >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU COUNT.
>> OKAY, OKAY. ONE, TWO, THREE. >> ARCHERY
>> CURLING >> WHAT? [ BUZZER SOUND ]
>> IT'S CURLING. WE'RE "THE VOICE." >> WE'RE NOT DOING THE ARCHERY
ON MY -- >> Jimmy: ARCHERY. ARCHERY.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WE'RE NOT THINKING OF HUNTING.
>> IT'S THE OLYMPICS >> Jimmy: ALRIGHT. >> ARCHERY
OKAY, ROBIN HOOD [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: LET'S CHANGE -- LET'S
CHANGE TO A DIFFERENT SUBJECT. WITH A DIFFERENT SUBJECT, WE'LL TRY IT AGAIN
>> WE'RE GONNA FAIL. >> Jimmy: BUT THIS TIME, IT'S YOUR TURN.
>> OH, MY GOSH >> Jimmy: YOU GUYS GO FIRST. A DIFFERENT CATEGORY
THE CATEGORY IS -- "COWBOY ACCESSORY. WHAT'S A COWBOY ACCESSORY.
YOU GUYS GO. >> OKAY, A COWBOY THING. >> READY
>> OKAY. ONE, TWO, THREE. >> HORSE
>> SPURS SPURS! [ BUZZER SOUND ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT A HORSE? A HORSE?
>> Tariq: AND SHE SAID SPURS >> Jimmy: WAIT, IS A HORSE AN ACCESSORY?
WHAT ARE YOU - >> JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH ME AND SUZIE,
DOESN'T MEAN I'M THINKING. >> I'M TRYING TO DO THESE THAT CONNECT TO "THE VOICE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS A COWBOY -- COWBOY ACCESSORY OH, MY GOSH.
READY? >> Both: ONE, TWO, THREE >> Jimmy: CHAPS.
>> Tariq: BOOTS. [ BUZZER SOUND ] >> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU SAY
WHAT DID YOU SAY >> DID HE SAY CHAPS? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: CHAPS. >> Jimmy: CHAPS. OH, MY GOD
>> THAT'S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: COWBOY -- COWBOY
BOOTS. CHAPS? >> SPURS
SEE, JIMMY, YOU'RE ON THE SAME - >> Jimmy: YES, BOOTS, SPURS.
YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO STEAL NAME A COWBOY ACCESSORY. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, COUNT TO
THREE AND SAY IT >> ONE, TWO, THREE >> Both: ROPE.
>> YES [ DING ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> YES >> Jimmy: A ROPE
>> Tariq: YOU GAVE -- WE GAVE THAT ONE TO THEM >> Jimmy: COWBOY ACCESSORY
THEY BOTH SAID ROPE. >> Tariq: WE GAVE THAT ONE TO THEM
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT AN ACCESSORY. >> 'CAUSE YOU ROPE THE CALF.
>> Tariq: YEAH >> Jimmy: THIS IS ALL SILLY. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS IN MY
LIFETIME >> Tariq: GREAT. >> WHATEVER, CHAP.
>> Jimmy: HERE WE GO CHAPS. ALL RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: NOW LOOK, THIS IS THE LAST ONE HERE. WHOEVER WINS THIS NEXT
CATEGORY - [ HORN SOUND ] -- WINS THE WHOLE THING.
>> WHAT IS IT? >> Jimmy: 10,000 POINTS, FINAL ROUND.
YOU GUYS WILL GO FIRST JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OUR GUESTS. YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN THE
WHOLE GAME RIGHT HERE. WHAT IS THE CATEGORY >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT WE DO
>> OKAY. DAMN RIGHT OKAY
>> Jimmy: "STATES IN THE SOUTH. ALL RIGHT, ONE, TWO, THREE
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, GO. "STATES IN THE SOUTH." >> NO, NO, WAIT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE JUST SAY THEM
>> Jimmy: GO, GO, HERE WE GO, ONE, TWO, THREE. HERE YOU GO, "STATES IN THE
SOUTH. >> TENNESSEE >> TEXAS
[ BUZZER ] >> WE'RE DOING THE SOUTH THAT'S IN THE WEST
WHERE IS THAT? >> TEXAS IS IN THE SOUTH I THOUGHT IT WAS IN THE WEST
YOU LIVED IN TENNESSEE >> Tariq: STRAIGHT DOWN SOUTH. >> WE GOT TO THINK OF ANOTHER
ONE. OKAY >> Jimmy: OKAY, I GOT IT
READY? ONE, TWO, THREE. ALABAMA.
>> Tariq: OH, MY GOODNESS. [ BUZZER SOUND ] [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY. >> I KNOW WHERE I'M -- I KNOW
WHERE I'M GOING. >> Tariq: I WAS SAY -- I WAS SAY -- I WAS SAYING GEORGIA.
I ONLY GOT THE FIRST SYLLABLE OUT THOUGH >> OKAY.
WE'RE GONNA PICK -- WE'RE GONNA PICK A -- IT'S A STATE IN THE SOUTH.
>> YES, I'M GOING -- IT'S WAY DOWN SOUTH HERE WE GO
ONE, TWO, THREE. >> Both: FLORIDA [ DING ]
>> YES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> WE WIN. * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
BLAKE SHELTON, KELLY CLARKSON, TARIQ TROTTER. "THE VOICE" TWO HOUR LIVE
SEASON FINALE AIRS NEXT MONDAY, TUESDAY AT 8:00 P.M. ON NBC. STICK AROUND, WHEN WE COME
BACK, WE'RE TALKING TO FRAN LEBOWITZ, EVERYBODY COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
A CELEBRATED WRITER AND SPEAKER, WHO YOU CAN SEE IN THE NETFLIX SERIES "PRETEND IT'S A
A CITY." YOU HAVE TO WATCH -- [ APPLAUSE ]
YEAH, EXACTLY. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT, YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT
IT IS THE FUNNIEST IT'S OUT RIGHT NOW EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME
FRAN LEBOWITZ. COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: YOU'RE HERE.
I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE IN STUDIO. >> I BELIEVE YOU
>> Jimmy: LAST TIME YOU WERE ON, I GOT YOU TO ZOOM, WHICH WAS UNBELIEVABLE
THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFETIME, WILL I GET YOU ON ZOOM
>> THAT'S CORRECT. >> Jimmy: AND I LOVED THAT I LOVE THAT THAT HAPPENED FOR
ME JUST THE LITTLE WINS, THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
BUT WE TALKED ABOUT "PRETEND IT'S THE CITY," WHICH IS A A GREAT MINI SERIES ON NETFLIX
IF YOU JUST -- IF YOU JUST WANT TO LAUGH, JUST PUT THIS ON YOU ARE SO OBSERVANT AND HAVE
A DIFFERENT VIEW OF EVERYTHING, WHEREVER YOU GO, FROM CROSSING THE STREET TO ANYTHING
IS THERE ANYTHING HAPPENING NOW IN NEW YORK CITY THAT YOU'RE GOING, LIKE, OKAY, I'M NOTICING
THIS >> I DID NOTICE THAT THE VERY FIRST THING THAT CAME BACK,
MONTHS AGO, WAS TRAFFIC. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY
SO THERE IS LIKE -- NO ONE IS HERE THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO.
EVERYTHING IS CLOSED NO ONE IS WORKING. NO ONE IS GOING TO SCHOOL.
NOTHING IS OPEN. THERE IS NO PLACE TO GO. BUT THERE WAS JUST TRAFFIC
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT IS TRUE >> I THOUGHT THIS IS KIND OF,
YOU KNOW, TRAFFIC IN ITS PUREST FORM YOU KNOW, TRAFFIC WITH NO
PURPOSE AT ALL IT'S JUST TRAFFIC THAT WAS PROBABLY SENT HERE BY A HOSTILE
FOREIGN POWER. [ LAUGHTER ] JUST TRAFFIC SITTING THERE AND
OF COURSE EVERYONE WAS DRIVING VERY RECKLESSLY, HONKING THE HORN
SO I THINK, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHAT'S THE BIG RUSH?
THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO >> Jimmy: THERE'S ACTUALLY NOWHERE TO GO.
THAT'S THE FIRST THING TO COME BACK >> RIGHT
TRAFFIC WAS THE FIRST THING TO COME BACK. >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT LEGALIZATION OF MARIJUANA? >> YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T TAKEN
DRUGS SINCE I WAS 19, BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO AT ALL
BUT IT DOES SEEM TO ME SINCE IT WAS LEGALIZED FOR RECREATIONAL USE -- I LOVE THAT TERM,
RECREATIONAL USE IT SEEMS THAT IT WASN'T JUST LEGALIZED, IT SEEMS LIKE IT WAS
MADE MANDATORY YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ]
THE STREETS OF NEW YORK ARE CLOUDS OF WEED YOU CAN'T -- IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SMOKE
MARIJUANA, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. BASICALLY. >> Jimmy: IT IS UNBELIEVABLE
>> EVERY SINGLE PERSON >> Jimmy: EVERYONE IS. >> EXCEPT ME
>> Jimmy: YEAH -- YEAH, ME TOO YOU WALK BY A CONSTRUCTION SITE AND IT IS THE --
>> AND THAT'S REALLY SHOCKING, BECAUSE THERE THEY ARE, THEY'RE HANGING FROM THESE BEAMS AND I
THINK, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ME, THAT IS GOING TO FALL. >> Jimmy: EXACTLY.
HOW HIGH DO YOU WANT TO BE THERE YOU GO [ LAUGHTER ]
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ APPLAUSE ]
NOW, I WANT TO GIVE YOU THIS PLUG EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT HERE TO PLUG ANYTHING.
WHICH, YOU'RE JUST HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND BUT THIS IS "THE FRAN LEBOWITZ
READER," AND I ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO GET THIS, IF YOU GET THIS BECAUSE IT IS EXACTLY THIS
FUNNY, AND IT'S A GREAT READ, AND I JUST NEVER GET A CHANCE TO PLUG ANYTHING FOR YOU
BUT I KNOW YOU'RE BACK DOING SHOWS, YOU'RE DOING -- YOU DO SHOWS WHERE SOMEONE INTERVIEWS
YOU FOR 30 MINUTES AND THEN YOU ANSWER QUESTIONS WITH THE AUDIENCE
>> RIGHT, SOMEONE INTERVIEWS ME ON A STAGE - >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> -- FOR 30 MINUTES, AND THEN THEY LEAVE JUST MENTIONING.
JUST SAYING. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN I GO TO A LECTERN AND
I ANSWER QUESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE FOR AN HOUR >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW --
APRIL 6th AND 7th YOU'RE AT A TOWN HALL HERE IN NEW YORK - SO EVERYONE HAS TO GO TO THIS,
'CAUSE THIS WILL BE -- YOU'LL GET TO SEE FRAN LEBOWITZ IN PERSON
[ APPLAUSE ] FOR INFORMATION, WHICH IS -- THIS IS GREAT, AGAIN, THERE IS
NOT YET A WEBSITE CURRENTLY, 'CAUSE THIS IS FRAN. SO, YOU'RE ON YOUR FACEBOOK.
FACEBOOK.COM/FRAN LEBOWITZ WE'RE GOING TO PUT IT ON THE THING.
HOW DID YOU END UP EVEN SETTING THAT UP? >> I DIDN'T.
[ LAUGHTER ] I DIDN'T -- I'VE NEVER SEEN IT MY AGENT DID IT.
IT'S LIKE -- BY THE WAY, I'VE NEVER SEEN NETFLIX SO, I'VE NEVER SEEN IT
AND WHEN I -- THIS WAS COMING OUT, I WOULD ASK PEOPLE, "DO YOU HAVE NETFLIX?"
AND THEY WOULD LOOK AT ME LIKE I WAS ASKING, "DO YOU HAVE ELECTRICITY.
BECAUSE APPARENTLY THERE IS ONE PERSON IN THE COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T HAVE NETFLIX
THAT'S ME. >> Jimmy: YEAH WE LOVE YOU, COME BACK WHENEVER
AND ZOOM ME WHENEVER YOU WANT TO >> I WILL, DON'T WORRY
>> Jimmy: FRAN LEBOWITZ, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I WANT TO SHOW -- LET ME SHOW A CLIP I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP OF THE
SHOW HERE'S A CLIP OF FRAN IN "PRETEND IT'S A CITY."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF THEY DO TO
YOU WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN, ACTUALLY, YOUNG CHILD. I DIDN'T MEAN A LITTLE CHILD,
BUT A TEENAGER >> YES YES.
>> BUT PEOPLE THAT AGE, THE AGE OF YOUR DAUGHTER - >> YES
>> -- AND SOMEWHAT OLDER, VERY OFTEN APPROACH ME, TO ASK ME MY OPINION OF WHAT THEY SHOULD DO
IN LIFE. LIKE, YOU KNOW, "FRAN, DO YOU --" AND I JUST THINK, LIKE,
"FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO. [ LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE SO USED TO BEING, LIKE, THE CENTER OF THEIR PARENTS' ATTENTION, THAT ANYONE THEY SEE
THAT AGE, THEY JUST THINK, LIKE, YOU KNOW, "MAYBE THIS PERSON WILL HELP ME OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THAT WOULD BE A MISTAKE WITH ME, BECAUSE -
>> Jimmy: THAT IS SO EXACTLY ON THE MONEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
FRAN LEBOWITZ, EVERYBODY CHECK OUT THIS BOOK, BY THE WAY.
"THE FRAN LEBOWITZ READER. "PRETEND IT'S A CITY" IS ON NETFLIX, NOW
GO TO FRAN'S FACEBOOK PAGE FOR MORE INFO, TO SEE HER LIVE IN TOWN HALL.
SHE'S ALL OVER WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM REGARD,
TROYE SIVAN AND TATE McRAE STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: HERE WITH THE TV DEBUT OF THEIR NEW SONG "YOU,"
GIVE IT UP FOR REGARD, TROYE SIVAN AND TATE McRAE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * YEAH ALL I SEE IS YOU IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU
HOW COULD YOU EVER LEAVE ME WITHOUT A CHANCE TO TRY * * HOW CAN I BE SORRY IF
I DON'T KNOW THE CRIME I SHOULD BE MAD 'CAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHY *
* STILL I CAN'T SEE TO SAY GOODBYE OOH YEAH
WHEN I TRY TO FALL BACK * * I FALL BACK TO YO WHEN I TALK TO MY FRIEND
I TALK ABOUT YOU WHEN THE HENNESSY'S STRONG * * ALL I SEE IS YO
IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU YEAH OOH YEA NO I HAVEN'T MOVED ON *
* BUT TRUST ME I'VE TRIED IF I GIVE YOU A CALL DON'T HANG UP THE LINE
WHEN THE HENNESSY'S STRONG * * ALL I SEE IS YO IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU *
* * OH YO I'M GOOD AT OVERTHINKING
BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN GOT THIS FAR * * ALL I KNOW IS THA
MY MIND IS IN THE BACK SEAT O YOUR CORVETTE CAR *
* YOU GOT ME AT MY BADDES AND YOU GOT ME ROUND YOUR FINGERTIP
SHOULD BE FED UP * * WITH YOUR BUL BUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU
NO I CAN'T RESIS HOW COULD YOU EVER LEAVE * * ME WITHOUT A CHANCE TO TR
HOW CAN I BE SORRY I I DON'T KNOW THE CRIME I SHOULD BE MAD THAT *
* YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHY STILL I CAN'T SEEM TO SAY GOODBYE
OOH YEAH * * WHEN I TRY TO FALL BACK I FALL BACK TO YOU
WHEN I TALK TO MY FRIEND I TALK ABOUT YOU * * WHEN THE JEALOUSY'S STRON
ALL I SEE IS YOU IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU YEAH OOH YEAH *
* NO I HAVEN'T MOVED ON BUT TRUST ME I'VE TRIE IF I GIVE YOU A CALL
DON'T HANG UP THE LINE * * WHEN THE JEALOUSY'S STRON ALL I SEE IS YOU
IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU * * * IS YOU OH
IS YOU IS YO I SEE YOUR FAC IN EVERY STRANGER *
* EVERYWHERE I GO I HEAR YOUR VOIC IN CONVERSATIONS
EVERY WORD YOU SPOKE * * NEARLY BLOCKED YO ON MY PHONE ABOU
A THOUSAND TIMES YEAH I KNOW I SHOULD * * SAY GOODBYE
YEAH I KNOW I SHOULD SAY GOODBY OOH YEAH *
* WHEN I TRY TO FALL BACK I FALL BACK TO YOU WHEN I TALK TO MY FRIEND
I TALK ABOUT YOU * * WHEN THE HENNESSY'S STRON ALL I SEE IS YOU
IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU YEAH OOH YEAH * * NO I HAVEN'T MOVED ON
BUT TRUST ME I'VE TRIE IF I GIVE YOU A CALL DON'T HANG UP THE LINE *
* WHEN THE HENNESSY'S STRON ALL I SEE IS YOU IS YOU IS YOU OH YOU *
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW
NIGHT -- TINA FEY WILL BE HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE HAVE MUSIC FROM DAYGLOW MY THANKS AGAIN TO FRAN LEBOWITZ,
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BLAKE SHELTON, KELLY CLARKSON, REGARD, TROYE SIVAN,
TATE McRAE, AND OF COURSE, THE ROOTS THERE FROM PHILLY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY THANK YOU. *
*