>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY
ZOEY DEUTCH, MUSICAL GUEST, CONWAY THE MACHINE FEATURING
J.I.D. AND LUDACRIS, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW
>> Questlove: 1462 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH I LOVE YOU PLEASE, RELAX.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW!"
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE HERE. THANK YOU.
WELL, GUYS, EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS EARLIER TODAY, THE DIRECTOR OF
THE CDC MADE A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT LISTEN TO THIS
>> TODAY, CDC IS UPDATING OUR GUIDANCE FOR FULLY VACCINATED PEOPLE
ANYONE WHO IS FULLY VACCINATED CAN PARTICIPATE IN INDOOR AND OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES, LARGE OR
SMALL, WITHOUT WEARING A MASK OR PHYSICAL DISTANCING IF YOU'RE FULLY VACCINATED, YOU
CAN START DOING THE THINGS THAT YOU HAD STOPPED DOING BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: OH, MAN.
EVERY BAR IN NEW YORK CITY IS GOING TO FEEL LIKE ST. PATRICK'S DAY FELL ON
CINCO DE MAYO. YOU KNOW WHAT I I'M SAYING [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I THINK THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET CRAZY. SERIOUSLY.
I JUST GOT INVITED TO AN ORGY AT DR. FAUCI'S [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YES. [ LAUGHTER ]
HONEST TO GOD, THE NEXT TIME I HEAR N-95 IT BETTER BE IN 50 YEARS WHEN I'M PLAYING
BINGO. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING [ LAUGHTER ]
EVERYONE IS EXCITED ABOUT THE NEWS WHILE THE ADULTS WHO SECRETLY
GOT BRACES ARE LIKE, "I THOUGHT I HAD MORE TIME. [ LAUGHTER ]
I'M JUST GONNA WEAR THE MASK FOR FUN. YEAH, IF YOU ARE FULLY
VACCINATED, YOU CAN GO BACK TO DOING THE THINGS YOU DID BEFORE THE PANDEMIC
WELL, NOT EVERYTHING IF YOU'RE TRUMP, YOU STILL CAN'T TWEET.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT NO MORE MASKS OR SOCIAL
DISTANCING FOR FULLY VACCINATED PEOPLE TARIQ, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS
MEANS? * [ LAUGHTER ]
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] SLOW MOTION ACTING GOOD WORK, TARIQ
AS IF GETTING VACCINATED SO YOU CAN RETURN TO A NORMAL LIFE ISN'T ENOUGH INCENTIVE, OHIO
GOVERNOR MIKE DeWINE CAME UP WITH A PRETTY BOLD IDEA. LISTEN TO THIS
>> GOVERNOR MIKE DeWINE IS IMPLEMENTING A COVID-19 VACCINE INCENTIVE PROGRAM IN THE FORM
OF A $1 MILLION LOTTERY. ADULT STATE RESIDENTS WHO HAVE RECEIVED AT LEAST ONE DOSE,
WILL BE ELIGIBLE TO WIN THE MONEY. A WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED EACH
WEDNESDAY FOR FIVE WEEKS >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW SOME IDIOT IS OUT THERE LIKE, "YEAH, BUT
AFTER TAXES IT COMES OUT TO ONLY $800,000. SO IT'S NOT REALLY WORTH IT.
I DON'T KNOW." YEAH, A MILLION DOLLAR VACCINE LOTTERY.
AND THIS IS FUN, INSTEAD OF DRAWING FROM A BASKET, THEY'RE GONNA PULL NUMBERED COTTON
SWABS FROM SOMEONE'S NOSE. >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: MEANWHILE, HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY, SHAKE SHACK IS OFFERING FREE FRENCH FRIES TO VACCINATED CUSTOMERS
AND THEY MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT DURING MAYOR BILL de BLASIO'S BRIEFING
LET'S SEE HOW THAT WENT.
>> SHOW US YOUR VACCINE CARD WE'LL GET YOU A FREE FRIES ON
US >> FREE FRIES WHEN YOU GET VACCINATED
YOU'RE SAYING I CAN GET THIS THESE DELICIOUS FRIES? IF THIS IS APPEALING TO YOU,
JUST THINK OF THIS WHEN YOU THINK OF VACCINATION MMM.
VACCINATION. MMM. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Questlove: WAIT A MINUTE! >> Jimmy: THE SOUND YOU JUST HEARD WAS EVERY NEW YORKER
PUKING AND THEN PACKING FOR OHIO [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD >> Jimmy: SOMEHOW THAT WAS REAL
>> Questlove: THAT WAS REAL? >> Jimmy: IT HAPPENED TODAY. >> Steve: CAN I GET
DE-VACCINATED? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Questlove: THAT WASN'T YOU
GUYS >> Steve: NO >> Jimmy: NO
NO, THAT WAS ACTUALLY -- THAT HAPPENED >> Steve: THAT WAS REAL.
THAT HAPPENED. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SOMEHOW de BLASIO DID
THE IMPOSSIBLE HE MADE PEOPLE WANT TO STOP EATING FRENCH FRIES.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'LL GO GET A THIRD DOSE IF HE STOPS EATING ON CAMERA
[ LAUGHTER ] SOME NEWS OUT OF WASHINGTON. YESTERDAY PRESIDENT BIDEN MET
WITH THE BIG FOUR LEADERS OF CONGRESS AND I THOUGHT SOME OF THE
THINGS HE HAD TO SAY WERE PRETTY INTERESTING TAKE A LOOK.
BILL THAT FUNDS OUR ROADS AND BRIDGES. USED TO BE, GO TO YOUR LOCAL
BRIDGE, TIE A FISHING LINE TO YOUR BIG TOE AND CATCH MUSKIES WITH IT.
YOU GO HOME, PUT IT IN A TANK AND RAISE IT AS A PET. EVERYONE HAD A PET MUSKIE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: A MUSKIE >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HE'S TALKING ABOUT BUT THAT WASN'T ALL THAT HE SAID
>> Steve: REALLY HE SAID MORE >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE SAID THIS
>> THIS REMINDS ME OF MY FAMILY BACK IN THE DAY, WE DON'T GATHER AROUND THE RADIO AND TRY
TO WIN A BISCUIT TIN FULL OF CHRISTMAS STAMPS IF YOU WON, YOU'D GO THE
GENERAL STORE AND TRADE YOUR CHRISTMAS STAMPS FOR A CAN OF PICKLED APRICOTS AND GIVE THOSE
TO THE MILK MAN. AND HE'D LET YOU CLIMB IN HIS MILK TRUCK AND HONK THE HORN
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?
>> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE STOP HIM
>> Steve: HE'S THE PRESIDENT >> Jimmy: AND FINALLY, HE HAD THIS TO SAY.
>> Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? >> Jimmy: YEAH WE HAVE ANOTHER --
LISTEN TO THIS
>> USED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH A FELLOW ON MY STREET NAMED
SLIPPERY DENNIS. [ LAUGHTER ] HE HAD A WIND-UP TOY OF
A HUMMINGBIRD THAT COULD SCARE THE BEJESUS OUT OF YOU SO I DECIDED TO CONFRONT HIM
THE ONLY WAY I KNEW HOW, I TOOK THE HUMMINGBIRD AND SWALLOWED IT
IT'S STILL IN MY STOMACH TO THIS DAY EVERY TIME I HEAR THE WORD
"DENNIS," MY TUMMY TICKLES [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WHAT
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS LIKE THE COUNTRY IS GOING THROUGH A DIFFERENT SHORTAGE
EVERY DAY. THIS WEEK IT STARTED WITH GASOLINE
AND NOW IT'S SOMETHING EVEN MORE SERIOUS CHICK-FIL-A HAS A SAUCE
SHORTAGE [ AUDIENCE OHS ] DEAR GOD, WILL THOSE RUSSIAN
HACKERS STOP AT NOTHING? [ LAUGHTER ] DON'T WORRY, WE JUST MADE
A DEAL WITH SAUDI ARABIA FOR 10 MILLION BARRELS OF HONEY MUSTARD, SO WE'RE ALL GOOD
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BEEP BEEP. THE MILK MAN WILL LET YOU HONK
THE HORN >> Steve: YEAH [ HORN HONKING ]
>> Jimmy: HERE IS SOME MORE POULTRY ADJACENT NEWS. KFC IS MAKING SOME CHANGES TO
ITS PACKAGING. KFC IS CHANGING ITS PACKAGING. IT'S ADDING INSTRUCTIONS ON
THEIR BUCKETS FOR REHEATING LEFTOVERS. >> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: PEOPLE WHO EAT KFC WERE LIKE, "LEFTOVERS? I JUST KEEP GOING UNTIL MY FIST
HITS CARDBOARD." [ LAUGHTER ] KFC IS REDOING THEIR PACKAGING
WHEN ASKED WHY, THEY SAID IT WAS ON THEIR BUCKET LIST [ AUDIENCE GROANS
OUR SHOW IS CANCELLED? OUR SHOW IS CANCELLED THAT FAST
FROM THAT. CAN I FINISH THE MONOLOGUE IT'S JUST A COUPLE MORE JOKES.
WE'RE OFF THE AIR? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. WELL, HAD A GOOD RUN
LOVE YOU GUYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Steve: BUCKET LIST. >> Jimmy: THIS IS THE BUCKET LIST SHOW.
>> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, GUYS, IT'S NOW BEEN OVER
A YEAR SINCE WE ALL GOT ON ZOOM AND YET SOME PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING THE HANG OF IT
EVEN PEOPLE ON THE NEWS. SO, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER
INSTALLMENT OF "GREATEST MOMENTS IN ZOOM HISTORY. ENJOY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
A MAT --
>> DID WE LOSE BILL? UH OH. POOR CONNECTION.
>> WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO DO IT >> WELL, MY MOM PRESENTED THE IDEA TO ME AND SHE SAID THAT I
COULD BE ONE OF THE FIRST -- >> I THINK WE JUST LOST TY TY, I THINK WE HAVE YOU BACK
SO I'LL ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS TRIAL?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND JOHN IN THE EARLY DAYS OF THIS INVESTIGATION, WHAT
STANDS OUT TO YOU THE MOST >> ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO, ONE,
TWO, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE - >> WE CAN HEAR YOU JOHN.
>> SO LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GIVE THERESA A CALL >> HELLO
>> THERESA >> YOU'RE UPSIDE DOWN, GIRL.
>> WILL YOU FLIP YOUR PHONE UPSIDE DOWN? WE CAN'T SEE YOU
>> THIS WAY? >> ONE MORE. ONE MORE CLICK
ONE MORE ONE MORE ONE MORE
YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
WE GOT IT. AND, FINALLY, IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THE "FRIENDS"
REUNION WILL AIR ON HBO MAX ON MAY 27th [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MAY 27th COULD IT BE ANY CLOSER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
YEP, THEY'RE CALLING IT "THE EPISODE" -- THEY'RE CALLING THE EPISODE "THE ONE THAT COSTS WAY
MORE THAN THE OTHERS." WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS
EVERYBODY!
* >> Jimmy: EVERYONE'S IN A GOOD
MOOD WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
JOINING US IN STUDIO, HE STARS IN THE UPCOMING APPLE TV PLUS SERIES "SCHMIGADOON!" AND HE'S
HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" THIS WEEKEND, WITH MUSICAL GUEST OLIVIA RODRIGO
KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY IS HERE IN STUDIO HE'LL BE COMING OUT AND
TALKING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THERE?
>> Jimmy: THERE. >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: PLUS, SHE CO-CREATED
AND STARS IN A NEW AUDIBLE ORIGINAL "A TOTAL SWITCH SHOW. ZOEY DEUTCH IS HERE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ZOEY AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM
CONWAY THE MACHINE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FEATURING J.I.D. AND LUDACRIS!
REMEMBER THAT LUDACRIS SKETCH THAT WE DID? DID WE EVER AIR IT
>> Steve: THE TRICKY ONE >> Jimmy: THE ONE WHERE HE BOUGHT RUTH'S CHRIS.
>> LUDADCRIS'S RUTH'S CHRIS. >> Jimmy: NO -- WELL, NO CHRIS BOUGHT IT BACK FIRST
>> Steve: OH, YEAH >> Jimmy: CHRIS' RUTH'S CHRIS STEAKHOUSE
AND THEN -- RUTH BOUGHT IT AGAIN, SO IT'S RUTH'S CHRIS' CHRIS'S RUTH'S CHRIS' STEAK
HOUSE. AND THEN LUDACRIS BOUGHT THE CHAIN.
>> Steve: IT WAS LUDACRIS CHRIS' RUTHS' CHRIS' RUTHS' CHRIS' CHRIS' --
>> Jimmy: STEAKHOUSE >> Steve: STEAKHOUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, DO YOU EVER SEE A PHOTO IN THE NEWS AND THINK THE
HEADLINE CAN BE MUCH BETTER? WELL, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN.
IT'S TIME FOR "NEWS AND IMPROVED." HERE WE GO
* NEWS AND IMPROVED * >> Jimmy: FOR EXAMPLE, CHECK OUT THIS FIRST PHOTO
THE ORIGINAL HEADLINE WAS "HARRIS MEETS WITH MEXICAN PRESIDENT.
THE HEADLINE CAN DEFINITELY BE IMPROVED BECAUSE IF YOU ONLY LOOKED AT THE PHOTO, THE
HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN "WOMAN SEES HER LOADED TOTS FROM OTHER SIDE OF RUBY TUESDAY'S."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE CHECK OUT THIS NEXT PHOTO. THE ORIGINAL HEADLINE WAS
"PUTIN HOLIDAYS IN SIBERIA." BUT IF YOU ONLY LOOKED AT THE PHOTO, THE HEADLINE COULD'VE
BEEN "UGGS TO RELEASE LIMITED EDITION BOOT SUIT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
NEXT, THIS HEADLINE SAYS "BIDEN PUSHES FOR IN-PERSON LEARNING. THE HEADLINE COULD'VE BEEN
"SUBSTITUTE TEACHER INSISTS HE CAN GUESS EVERY KID'S NAME GOES ZERO FOR 20.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "UH, DENNY." >> Steve: NOPE
>> Jimmy: PAULSON. >> Steve: NOPE THIS NEXT HEADLINE WAS
"ELON MUSK LAUNCHING MISSION TO THE MOON." HEADLINE COULD'VE BEEN
"GROOMSMEN AGREE TO WEAR WHATEVER GROOM SAYS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WAIT FOR THE FLASH MOB, IT'LL PAY OFF. NEXT HEADLINE WAS "DEFENSE
SECRETARY LAYS OUT VISION FOR FUTURE." HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN "MAN
GETS HOME AND REALIZES HE BOUGHT HEINEKEN ZERO ALCOHOL." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THIS NEXT HEADLINE WAS "MERKEL HOSTS VACCINE SUMMIT." HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN "WOMEN
HEARS FRIEND SAY VAN HALEN WAS BETTER AFTER DAVID LEE ROTH. [ APPLAUSE ]
YEAH RIGHT WHATEV >> Steve: WHATEV, MAN.
WHATEVS. >> Jimmy: GAG ME WITH A SPOON
THE NEXT HEADLINE WAS "RANGERS FACE OFF AGAINST CAPITALS. HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN
"ROOMMATE SAYS 'MOANA' SOUNDTRACK JUST OKAY." >> Steve: WHAT
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT NEXT HEADLINE WAS
"QUEEN ELIZABETH SPEAKS TO CHARITY. HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN
"GRANDMA THINKS SHE'S WATCHING NEW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES REBOOT." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> "THERE'S PAUL LYNDE." >> Jimmy: WHERE'S PAUL LYNDE YEAH
AND FINALLY THIS HEADLINE WAS "BORIS JOHNSON MAKES ELECTION CAMPAIGN VISITS.
HEADLINE COULD HAVE BEEN "WANT TO FEEL OLD? THIS IS LANCE ARMSTRONG TODAY.
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "NEWS AND IMPROVED." STICK AROUND, BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW. KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY WILL BE HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, GUYS
IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO
* HASHTAG HASHTAG * >> Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT
A HASHTAG AND ASK YOU GUYS TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. SO, SINCE LOTS OF SHOWS ARE
GEARING UP FOR THEIR FINALES, I SENT OUT A HASHTAG "ADD A WORD, RUIN A TV SHOW."
I ASKED YOU GUYS TO TAKE THE TITLE OF A TV SHOW, ADD ONE WORD, CHANGE THE MEANING
WITHIN MINUTES, IT WAS A A TRENDING TOPIC SO, THANK YOU FOR PLAYING
ALONG. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE LOVE THAT
WE LOVE WHEN YOU PLAY ALONG. THANK YOU. SO, I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF
MY FAVORITE "ADD A WORD, RUIN A TV SHOW" TWEETS FROM YOU GUYS
THIS FIRST ONE IS FROM @MARISAROSIE22 SHE SAYS, "DORA THE FORD
EXPLORER." OH - [ LAUGHTER ]
THIS ONE'S FROM @GHOST7. >> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: YEAH
THEY SAY, "THE KINDA GOOD DOCTOR." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: HE'S ALRIGHT >> Jimmy: HE'S OKAY THIS ONE'S FROM @SHYSHELLZ
>> Steve: AW >> Jimmy: THEY SAY, "BABY SHARK TANK."
[ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE'S FROM @OAKRIDGEAUSSIES
THEY SAY, "VANILLA ICE ROAD TRUCKERS." [ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT'S HE UP TO, MAN >> Steve: HE'S DOING A FIX IT SHOW, ISN'T HE
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS HE ON? >> Steve: HOME IMPROVEMENT SHOW
>> Jimmy: HE DOES, RIGHT >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: I SAW HIM ON
SOMETHING. HE WAS FUNNY >> Steve: THE ICE MAN?
>> Jimmy: YEAH YOU CALL HIM THE ICE MAN >> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: DUDE >> Steve: YOU USED TO HANG AROUND WITH HIM AND SNOW,
RIGHT? >> Jimmy: SIR HABLE SNOW [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: "INFORMER," YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH, MAN. THAT WAS "INFORMER," DUDE.
I USE TO HANG OUT WITH SNOW ALL THE TIME TO JUST TALK ABOUT STUFF.
I'M LIKE, "WRITE THAT DOWN." THE ICEMAN, DUDE, I USED TO HANG OUT WITH HIM ALL THE TIME
>> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: LIKE, WHAT WOULD YOU
GUYS TALK ABOUT? >> Jimmy: "TOP GUN." >> Steve: REALLY
[ LAUGHTER ] SO YOU AND VANILLA ICE WOULD GET TOGETHER
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH >> Steve: RIGHT? >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
>> Steve: AND YOU'D JUST TALK ABOUT THE MOVIE "TOP GUN." >> Jimmy: THAT'S CORRECT
>> Steve: AND, PRETTY MUCH, THAT'S ALL YOU WOULD DO? >> Jimmy: "YOU THERE, GOOSE?
I'M NOT HEARING YOU, GOOSE." STUFF LIKE THAT. >> Steve: STUFF LIKE THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: NEED FOR SPEED, THINGS LIKE THAT
GREAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH YOU THERE GOOSE?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, BUDDY. THIS ONE'S FROM @RYANSCHWARTZ. HE SAYS, "ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY
POLKA PLAY LIST. >> Steve: OH, YEAH >> Jimmy: HEY, THAT'S GOOD
I'D WATCH THAT THIS ONE'S FROM @SMITH1226PETER.
HE SAYS," MY STRIPPER NAME IS EARL." [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD THIS ONE'S FROM @JOSERAMONMARMTZ
HE SAYS, "MEET THE PANINI PRESS. OH, CHUCK TODD HOSTS THAT AS
WELL >> Steve: NICE >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM
@KISSMETKARMA. SHE SAYS, "IT'S SHOWTIME AT THE APOLLO 13.
>> Steve: SANDMAN, WE HAVE A A PROBLEM. >> Jimmy: THIS IS -- SANDMAN
THIS ONE'S FROM @GIN BOSWICK SHE SAYS, "AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL AIRPLANE."
>> Steve: OH, I LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @RYANBARTHOLOMEE
HE SAYS, "HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER HORNETS." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: I FORGOT >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @SOHNZIE
>> Steve: SOHNZIE? >> Jimmy: YEAH, SHE SAYS, "WHO'S THE CAKE BOSS?"
"MONA. >> Steve: "ANGELA. >> Jimmy: "ANGELA, SAMANTHA,
JONATHAN." [ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE'S FROM @MARKSAUN.
HE SAYS, "YOUNG ROCK COLLECTOR. OH, THAT'S -
GOT THAT ON THE DVR. THIS ONE'S FROM @TEAWITHTAMMY1 SHE SAYS, "HOW I MET YOUR REAL
MOTHER." OH, HEY. >> Steve: OH
OUCH >> Jimmy: HERE'S ANOTHER ONE FROM @KISSMETKARMA
SHE SAYS, "ALL MY CHILDREN'S FAULT. >> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE HERE'S FROM @SHEJSTAZ SHE SAYS, "CURB YOUR DOGECOIN
ENTHUSIASM." THERE YOU HAVE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR
FAVORITES, GO TO TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY, HERE IN STUDIO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY-WINNING ACTOR, WRITER, AND
PRODUCER THIS WEEKEND HE IS HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," WITH
MUSICAL GUEST OLIVA RODRIGO. HERE IS KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
*
>> Jimmy: YOU OVER HERE NOW. YOU GO HERE, NOW
YOU GO THERE -- YOU GO THERE >> I'M GONNA GO HERE CAN I -- CAN I -- I WANT TO BE
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T SIT THERE ANYMORE. LOOK AT THIS GOOD LOOKING
AUDIENCE THOUGH. LOOK AT THAT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. >> THAT'S FANTASTIC.
>> Jimmy: DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. >> THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE
WE'RE ON OUR WAY BACK. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT WE ARE ON OUR WAY BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YES >> Jimmy: DUDE
>> YES >> Jimmy: I'M SO PSYCHED FOR YOU.
YOU'RE HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
"SCHMIGADOON." >> "SCHMIGADOON. >> Jimmy: I HAVE SO MANY OF
THESE TO GET INTO. BUT, FIRST, I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DID THIS AND WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU THIS IS YOU AND BEAR GRYLLS. CAN YOU SEE THIS
>> YEAH. YEAH YEP, THAT -- THAT IS ME AND
BEAR GRYLLS. >> Jimmy: WHICH ONE IS YOU BY THE WAY?
>> I'M THE ONE IN THE YELLOW WITH THE GOOD EXTENSION ON THE LEGS THERE
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, THAT IS ME IN THE
FRONT. UH, NOT THAT I'M MORE BRAVE. BUT JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, HE'S
GOT TO OPERATE IT, AND THE PERSON HAS TO OPERATE IT FROM THE BACK
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH, SO THAT'S ME AND BEAR GRYLLS RUNNING OFF OF A
A CLIFF. WE'RE JUST RUNNING OFF OF A CLIFF.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO WHAT WENT -- >> I'M PARAGLIDING
>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU DO THIS >> I DON'T -- I DID -- I DON'T
THINK I KNEW IT UNTIL THEY STRAPPED THE - HE STRAPPED ME IN, AND WE WERE
ALREADY RUNNING BEFORE I, KIND OF, KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON >> Jimmy: BUT DO YOU JUST RUN
AND JUMP OFF A CLIFF >> YOU JUST RUN AND JUMP OFF A A CLIFF.
NOW, THERE'S A PARA -- I MEAN, WE'RE PARAGLIDING. THERE'S A --
>> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT EITHER WAY DUDE - >> YOU CAN SEE RIGHT THERE,
THERE'S SOME STRINGS BUT THERE'S STRINGS. BUT THERE'S STRINGS, WE'RE
OKAY >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO >> RIGHT THERE, THERE'S
STRINGS. >> Jimmy: NO, KEEGAN, YOU ARE AN AMERICAN TREASURE
YOU DON'T DO STUFF LIKE THIS [ LAUGHTER ] WE CAN'T HAVE YOU DOING THIS
>> THE THING IS, JIMMY, HE MAKES YOU FEEL SO COMFORTABLE THAT YOU JUST, KIND OF, WILL DO
ANYTHING THAT HE SAYS. SO HE WILL SAY -- HE WILL SAY THE PHRASE -- HE WILL SAY THE
PHRASE, "SO, WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE, IS WE'RE GOING TO RUN OFF THE CLIFF, AND IF WE START TO
TUMBLE -- FALL AND TUMBLE, JUST COVER YOUR FACE. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW HE SAID -- LIKE THAT MONOTONE THE SAME WAY HE WOULD SAY, "OH,
WE MISSED THIS BUS, BUT WE'LL CATCH THE NEXT ONE." >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> IT'S THE -- IT'S LIKE THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: COVER YOUR FACE WHEN
YOU FALL OFF A CLIFF >> I SAY, "COVER MY FACE -- WHY AM I COVERING MY FACE.
"BECAUSE WE MIGHT TUMBLE OFF THE CLIFF. "TUMBLE DOWN THE CLIFF?"
"OH, NO, OFF." [ LAUGHTER ] OFF.
LIKE, HUNDREDS OF FEET DOWN. OKAY >> Jimmy: IF I EVER DID THAT,
IT WOULD BE THE MOST BORING EPISODE OF "BEAR GRYLLS" EVER. >> YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] "SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, JIMMY? YOU'RE LIKE, "NAH.
>> Jimmy: "I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT." YEAH
>> YOU THINK, HE'D BE LIKE, "TWO MILE HIKE." [ LAUGHTER ]
THEN YOU'D BE LIKE, "NOPE. >> Jimmy: "NO, I JUST -- LET'S JUST GO OUTDOOR -- OUTDOOR
DINING >> "I CAN'T JUST STAND OUTSIDE -- WE JUST WATCH THE
SUNSET?" >> Jimmy: YEAH COME ON.
THAT WOULD BE -- IT WOULD BE A A SWEET EPISODE. >> IT WOULD BE -- IT WOULD BE
SWEET, YEAH. >> Jimmy: TALK ABOUT SWEET EPISODES -- HOW ABOUT THAT FOR
A SEGUE WAY -- "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," THIS SATURDAY -
>> I KNOW. >> Jimmy: -- IS GOING TO BE A SWEET EPISODE.
I AM SO PSYCHED. I AM -- I AM -- I'M BEYOND THRILLED
I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. IT'S BEEN A CHILDHOOD DREAM. A CHILDHOOD DREAM.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I WAS GONNA SAY, WHEN DID YOU -- WHEN DID YOU --
>> I WAS PROBABLY -- GOD, PROBABLY 8 -- 8 OR 9-YEARS-OLD WHEN I STARTED WATCHING, WHEN I
WAS A KID. I'D GO OVER TO FRIEND'S HOUSE AND WATCH IT
IF WE -- LIKE, THE PARENTS WOULD HAVE A BIG PARTY AND THEN, YOU'D GO TO THE FRIEND'S
HOUSE, AND THAT WAS ONE OF THOSE GREAT NIGHTS WHERE YOU GOT TO STAY UP LATE, AND I
WOULD -- AND THEY WOULD HAVE "SNL" ON IN THE OTHER ROOM >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> ANYWAY, I WOULD WATCH -- I WOULD WATCH IT AND I WATCHED WITH MY DAD.
I LOVED WATCHING WITH MY DAD, 'CAUSE MY DAD WAS THIS BIG MAN, WHO HAD THIS, LIKE -- LIKE THIS
LAUGH. HE HAD THIS, LIKE, CACKLY LAUGH, WHERE HE WOULD JUST BE
LIKE - [ LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WAS HIS LAUGH MY MAN -- MY MAN WAS 6'4" AND A HALF, 270 POUNDS
>> Jimmy: WOW. >> TALKING ABOUT - [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WAS HIS LAUGH IT WAS FANTASTIC AND, SO, WHEN YOU'D HEAR HIM
LAUGH, YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST LIKE, "I WANT TO DO THAT." >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I MEAN, NOT NECESSARILY THE LAUGH. >> Jimmy: BUT YOU WANT TO GET
HIM TO LAUGH >> BUT WHAT IS HE LAUGHING AT IS WHAT I WANTED TO SAY.
AND USUALLY WHAT HE WAS LAUGHING AT, WAS EDDIE MURPHY IMPERSONATING STEVIE WONDER.
>> Jimmy: OH, DUDE >> REMEMBER THAT REMEMBER WHEN EDDIE MURPHY
WOULD COME, AND HE'D COME DOWN TO HOME BASE, AND HE WOULD DO, YOU KNOW -
* MY CHERIE AMOUR * AND HE WOULD DO -- >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND PUT ON THE SUNGLASSES >> Jimmy: THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE. AND MY DAD THOUGHT THAT WAS THE
GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD. SO, YEAH I WAS ON BOARD
>> Jimmy: YEAH ALSO, DIDN'T -- I REMEMEBER -- I REMEMBER I READ SOMEWHERE YOU
TALKED ABOUT HAVING A CASSETTE TAPE OF "SNL." >> YEAH, I HAD -- I HAD
A CASSETTE TAPE, FOR THOSE OF YOU UNDER 40 30
[ LAUGHTER ] "THAT'S HOW WE USED TO LISTEN TO MUSIC."
>> Jimmy: "YEAH. >> BUT, I HAD A CASSETTE TAPE OF, LIKE, "THE BEST SNL 1976."
>> Jimmy: YEP. >> SO, IT WAS ABOUT A YEAR IN. AND IT WAS JUST, LIKE, A
A COMPILATION TAPE >> Jimmy: OF SKETCHES. >> OF SKETCHES -- OF SKETCHES
THAT -- THAT -- THAT, YOU KNOW, PRETTY MUCH WORKED FOR THE EAR AND I REMEMBER, TO THIS DAY --
TO THIS DAY, I STILL REMEMBER THERE WAS A SKETCH WITH ALL OF THE GIRLS.
IT WAS JANE CURTIN >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH >> LARAINE NEWMAN, AND
GILDA RADNER >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. >> AND, THEY SANG A SONG ABOUT
CHEVY CHASE -- REMEMBER CHEVY CHASE WOULD PRETEND TO BE GERALD FORD AND HE'D FALL DOWN
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH >> HE'D FALL DOWN A LOT. THAT WAS HIS -- LIKE WAS HIS
SHTICK YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: YEAH, LIKE, "WE LOVE
WHEN YOU - >> THAT WAS IT YEAH, IT WAS -
* CHEVY CHEVY EVERY TIM THAT YOU FALL DOWN IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT ON MY TV
OH MY CHEVY * * EVERY TIME YO TAKE THAT FALL
I WISH THAT YOU WERE FALLING, FALLING FOR ME * >> THAT WAS THEIR SONG
>> Jimmy: OH, I LOVE THAT. LARAINE NEWMAN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MY JAM >> LARAINE NEWMAN. >> Jimmy: MY JAM
GILDA, JANE CURTIN >> AND THAT WAS LIKE, YEAH SO, I REMEMBER THAT SONG
YEAH >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GOING TO KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK
DID YOU GET ANY ADVICE FROM ANY OTHER HOSTS OR ANYONE? >> I DID
I DID. YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST WORKING ON A PROJECT WITH FRED ARMISEN,
AND FRED ARMISEN TOLD ME -- HE SAID, "DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO EMBRACE IT AND ENJOY IT,
BECAUSE IT GOES BY SO FAST YOU KNOW, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY IS TAKEN UP AND YOU'RE
DOING A WARDROBE FITTING AND PUTTING ON A WIG AND THEN LEARNING THOSE LINES, AND
YOU'RE HELPING CHANGE THE CUE CARDS AND DOING A RE-WRITE SO, ALL OF THAT'S HAPPENING SO
FAST, YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING IT AT THE SAME TIME.
WHICH, WAS, I THOUGHT, A REALLY NICE PIECE OF ADVICE >> Jimmy: YEAH, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT FRED -- NO, YOU CAN'T -- YOU CAN'T ENJOY
YOURSELF WHILE YOU DO IT YOU JUST GOT TO DO IT. >> YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, THERE'S NO ENJOYING YOURSELF. >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND WHEN IT'S DONE, YOU GO, "WHAT HAPPENED?" >> YEAH.
AND THEN YOU JUST, KIND OF, JUST GO, "GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY DID WE JUST DO THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, NO, IT'S LIKE SOMEONE TELLING YOU ENJOY YOUR WEDDING.
>> EXACTLY, YEAH IT'S A PRETTY -- REMEMBER HOW YOU READY -
YOU DON'T EAT AT YOUR WEDDING. >> Jimmy: NO AT YOUR WEDDING YOU ALWAYS HAVE
A PLATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. >> Jimmy: YES. >> IT'S LIKE, "UNCLE JEFF, HOW
ARE YOU? [ LAUGHTER ] >> "IT'S GREAT
I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE. [ LAUGHTER ] "OH, AUNT MILLER SAYS HOW ARE
YOU? I SAID, "OH, LOOK AT YOU -- 75-YEARS-YOUNG
GET OUT OF HERE. SERIOUSLY, GET OUT OF HERE PUT A VEAL CUTLET IN MY MOUTH.
>> Jimmy: IT IS GONNA BE -- IT'S AMAZING AND I THINK, I MEAN, THAT WAS
ACTUALLY GREAT ADVICE FROM FRED BUT, I THINK YOU'LL REMEMBER
CERTAIN PARTS. MY FAVORITE PART, ALWAYS, FROM THE SHOW, IS AT THE END OF THE
SHOW WHEN THEY PLAY THE GOOD NIGHT MUSIC. >> OH YEAH
* >> IT'S JUST - >> AND YOU START TO HEAR THE
MUSIC, YEAH. >> Jimmy: WELL, THAT'S IT. THAT MEANS -
>> SO ICONIC >> Jimmy: -- THAT MEANS YOU DID IT
IT'S LIVE. YOU CAN'T GO BACK. >> YEAH, IT'S -- THOSE MOMENTS
IN TIME ARE FINISHED THAT'S THE THING ABOUT -- ABOUT LIVE -- LIVE ANYTHING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> LIVE THEATER. LIVE TELEVISION.
>> Jimmy: RIGHT? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> IT'S REALLY -- IT'S ALREADY
MAGICAL. SATURDAY NIGHT, I THINK IS GOING TO BE AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "SCHMIGADOON" WHEN WE COME
BACK >> YES ABSOLUTELY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: MORE WITH KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY WHEN WE COME
BACK, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY.
WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY THAT'S MY DUDE
THAT'S MY DUDE THERE RIGHT THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> THESE GUYS ARE GREAT. YOU WERE DOING THOSE PROMOS AND THEY WERE JUST WHIPPING IT UP.
AND WHIPPING IT UP >> Jimmy: THE BEST I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT
"SCHMIGADOON!" * SCHMIGADOON * >> Jimmy: APPLE TV PLUS.
>> PLUS. ON PLUS. >> Jimmy: ON PLUS.
OH SORRY, APPLE TV PLUS. ANYWAY "SCHMIGADOON!," DESCRIBE WHAT THIS IS
YOU AND CECILY STRONG. >> IT'S A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO ARE HAVING SOME PROBLEMS IN
THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THEY'RE TRYING REINVIGORATE THE RELATIONSHIP
SO THAT THE WAY THEY DO IT, IS THEY GO ON THIS HIKE RETREAT AND IN THE MIDST OF THEIR HIKE,
THEY GET LOST AND THEY FIND THIS SMALL, LITTLE TOWN AND THEY DISCOVER THAT THE TOWN IS
A 1940s MUSICAL. MAGICALLY, THE TOWN IS A A MUSICAL.
>> Jimmy: SO EVERYTHING IS SINGING AND DANCING. >> EVERYTHING IS SINGING AND
DANCING. YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE ONE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS
AND THESE PEOPLE THAT JUST LIVE IN THIS SMALL TOWN, AND THEY TRY TO LEAVE AND THEY REALIZE
THEY CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL THEY FIND TRUE LOVE >> Jimmy: WOW.
>> SO THAT'S THE PREMISE OF THE STORY. >> Jimmy: IT'S PERFECT FOR YOU
>> AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE AND THEY -- AND IT'S REALLY THE
WHOLE THING IS A LOVE LETTER TO THE GOLDEN AGE OF MUSICALS YOU KNOW, MUSICALS LIKE
"SINGING IN THE RAIN." >> Jimmy: YEAH >> "SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN
BROTHERS." THAT KIND OF STUFF, YEAH >> Jimmy: THAT'S SO FUN.
>> IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. I'M SO PROUD OF IT >> Jimmy: WHEN DID YOU GET INTO
MUSICAL THEATER AND STUFF? >> IN HIGH SCHOOL. THE FIRST THING I EVER DID ON
STAGE EVER WAS THE MUSICAL "GODSPELL. I PLAYED JESUS IN "GODSPELL.
>> Jimmy: YES. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: WHERE DID YOU GO FROM
THERE? * PREPARE YE THE WA OF THE LORD *
>> DO YOU KNOW THAT? >> Jimmy: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
COME ON, "GODSPELL." >> AND SO I DID "GODSPELL. AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO
GET INTO THEATER OR GET INTO ACTING SO THAT WAS WHAT WAS AVAILABLE
TO ME WERE THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICALS THAT BECAME KIND OF YOUR FIRST
LOVE OR MY FIRST LOVE, I SHOULD SAY >> Jimmy: WHAT IN YOUR BRAIN --
WHAT IS NEXT FOR YOU LIKE, YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING AT THIS POINT
YOU'VE BEEN ON THIS SHOW FOR MOVIES YOU'VE DONE TV
YOU'VE DONE AUDIBLE ORIGINALS. EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE -- I MEAN, YOU'D
DONE EVERYTHING. >> YOU KNOW, THE ONE THING I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO DO IS MAKE
A STRAIGHT UP ACTION MOVIE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THAT >> Jimmy: YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THAT? >> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
IT >> OKAY YEAH, I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN AN ACTION MOVIE.
I THINK IF I MADE IT, WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF I MADE A MOVIE WITH LIKE, BRUCE WILLIS,
JASON STATHAM, DWAYNE JOHNSON AND ME IT WOULD JUST BE LIKE --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOT THE FOUR -- WE WOULD CALL IT, THE BALD FOUR HORSEMEN OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: YOU AND THE ROCK WOULD BE GREAT TOGETHER.
>> I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M THE MINIATURE VERSION OF THE ROCK. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, "THUNDER COP 6," STARRING THE ROCK AND INTRODUCING "THE PEBBLE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I CAN'T WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO SEE "SCHMIGADOON!"
I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY IS "SCHMIGADOON!"
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
* IT'S JUST A LOVER'S SPA JUST CAUSE YOUR FEUDIN
DON'T MEAN THA YOU'RE CONCLUDIN' * * IT'S AS PLAIN PLAIN PLAIN
AS THA IT'S ONLY A LOVER'S SPAT * *
* FIRST HE SAYS >> YEAH, I'M NOT DOING THIS. * THEN SHE SAYS *
>> OH, WHAT A SURPRISE, YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. * THEN HE SAYS *
>> UM, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN * THEN SHE SAYS *
>> IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ANYTHING I SAID WHAT I MEANT.
* THEN HE SAYS * >> I CAN'T DO THIS WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE AROUND.
* THEN SHE SAYS * >> OH, YOU CAN'T DO THIS PERIOD
* EVERY GAL AND FELLA ARE BOUND TO HAVE A YELLER * >> WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.
>> YEAH. * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: COME ON, DUDE. THAT'S FANTASTIC >> YEAH, IT'S AMAZING.
IT'S AMAZING >> Jimmy: KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY "SCHMIGADOON!" COMES TO APPLE
TV PLUS ON JULY 16th BREAK A LEG! HE'S HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE" THIS WEEKEND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ZOEY DEUTCH.
STICK AROUND EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A FANTASTIC ACTOR WHO CO-CREATED AND STARS IN THE NEW
AUDIBLE ORIGINAL "A TOTAL SWITCH SHOW," WHICH IS AVAILABLE NOW ON AUDIBLE.COM
HERE IS ZOEY DEUTCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
ZOEY, OH LOOK AT YOU HI ZOEY, IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU
I LOVE HAVING YOU ON THE SHOW. >> I WISH I WAS THERE WITH YOU, AND KEEGS AND THE ROOTS, AND
THAT AWESOME 58 PERSON LIVE AUDIENCE >> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THAT'S SO AMAZING >> Jimmy: 58
>> I WANT TO SAY, I'M SO IMPRESSED, JIMMY, THAT YOU GUYS AT THE "TONIGHT SHOW" HAVEN'T
STOPPED. LIKE, I REALLY GOT TO GIVE IT TO YOU, AND THE CREW AND THE
WRITERS, AND EVERYONE BEHIND THE SCENES THAT HAVE BEEN YOU KNOW, KEEPING IT GOING, AND
KEEPING US ALL ENTERTAINED AND LAUGHING THIS PAST YEAR. SO THANK YOU, GUYS
>> Jimmy: I APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> YOU REALLY REDEFINED "THE SHOW MUST TO GO ON." >> Jimmy: CAN YOU JUST LOOK AT
HOW FUNNY YOU ARE. LOOK AT YOUR -- LOOK AT YOUR EXPRESSION
JUST LOOK AT THIS. CAN WE ZOOM IN JUST THAT IS -- THAT IS SO FUN
[ LAUGHTER ] DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DID IT THAT DAY
WAS THIS FUNNY AND LOOK AT YOUR MOM TOO [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST MAKE, YOU KNOW, I MAKE A LOT OF WEIRD FACES
IT'S UNIMPORTANT SKILL THAT I HAVE, REALLY >> Jimmy: YOU DO
>> YOU'VE SEEN MY FACELIFT FACE YOU'VE SEEN ALL THE WEIRD
THINGS THAT MY FACE DOES >> Jimmy: THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FACES YOU'VE DONE ON
THIS SHOW. YOU DID THE FACELIFT FACE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> MY AIR PODS ARE GOING TO FALL OUT >> Jimmy: THAT'S AN AMAZING
TALENT OH, MY GOD WHAT OTHER UNUSABLE TALENTS DO
YOU HAVE REALLY >> WELL, I MEAN, DURING
QUARANTINE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, YOU KNOW, I MADE BANANA BREAD, I FOSTERED A PUPPY, I GOT A NEW
THERAPIST, I CRIED OUT LOUD ON ZOOM BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I DID
SOME EYEBROW WORKOUTS. SO, YEAH >> Jimmy: WHAT IS AN EYEBROW --
WHAT'S AN EYBROW -- OH OH, HEY. WHOA
[ LAUGHTER ] WHOA, IS THAT A WAVE ZOEY, YOU ARE SO FUN, MAN.
I LOVE YOU OH, MY - *
[ LAUGHTER ] I LOVE YOU, BUDDY.
WAIT, DON'T KILL HER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> GUYS THIS IS --
>> Jimmy: GOSH >> -- THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF THAT I CHOOSE TO DO WHEN I'M ON
NATIONAL TELEVISION. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THIS IS THE IMPORTANT STUFF
I CHOOSE TO DO >> Jimmy: I WANT TO ASK YOU VIDEO.
I LOVED IT YOU PLAYED HIS -- HE'S A BOXER AND YOU PLAYED HIS WIFE.
LOOK AT THAT RIGHT THERE THAT'S - >> YEAH, BUT I'M SUCH
A FREAKING FAN THAT I'M ALMOST DONE IT'S ALMOST OUT.
I NEED A NEW ONE I NEED NEW MERCH >> Jimmy: I'LL GET YOU A NEW
ONE. OH, MY GOD YOU CHIPPED THE PAINT ON IT.
I HAVE TO GET THAT FOR DO YOU. >> I WAS I WAS IN AN -- YES, IT'S WAS
FUNNY, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT IT I WAS ASKED TO BE IN BIEBER'S
VIDEO. LIKE, I GOT AN E-MAIL ON A A THURSDAY AND THEN I SAID,
"YEAH," AND THEN WE WERE FILMING IT THAT WEEKEND. YOU KNOW
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU A BIG FAN? ARE YOU A FAN OF JUSTIN? >> YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS 11 I
PROMISED MY FAMILY I'D MARRY JUSTIN BIEBER. SO WHEN I WAS ASKED IF I WANTED
TO PLAY HIS WIFE IN VIDEO, I COULDN'T SAY NO. I'M A WOMAN OF MY GOSH DARN
WORD, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT YOU ARE!
[ APPLAUSE ] ALSO, NOT ONLY CAN YOU ACT AND YOU'RE SUPER FUNNY AND
CHARMING, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YOU ALSO CAN SING. AND I'M REMINDED OF THIS
BECAUSE I FOLLOW YOU ON INSTAGRAM. AND YOU DO THE THING WHERE YOU
SING WHITNEY HOUSTON "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. >> YEAH, PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE
THAT THERE'S -- ANYWHERE THAT THERE'S GOOD ACOUSTICS, PARKING LOTS, BATHROOMS, ANYWHERE.
>> Jimmy: A GROCERY STORE? >> GROCERY STORE >> Jimmy: I SAW YOU IN A
A GROCERY STORE. ACTUALLY, DO WE HAVE THE VIDEO WE HAVE THE VIDEO.
LET'S JUST WATCH THIS FOR A SECOND
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YOU GOT BUSTED YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, SOMEONE SAW
ME!" >> YEAH. THAT WOMAN LOOKS TRAUMATIZED BY
MY IMPROMPTU PERFORMANCE OR IT WAS ALSO THE FIRST TIME SHE WAS OUT OF THE HOUSE
DOES EVERYONE REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME THEY LEFT THE HOUSE 'CAUSE IT WAS A BIG MOMENT,
RIGHT? >> Jimmy: OH YEAH. IT'S GIGANTIC.
IT'S LIKE -- IT'S THE BEST I MEAN, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THESE GUYS ARE OUT OF THE
HOUSE. THEY'RE HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THEY'RE SO EXCITED >> SO COOL >> Jimmy: RIGHT BEFORE YOU CAME
IN, THEY CAME OUT AND THEY'RE LIKE - * AND I *
THEY ALL WERE DOING IT [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, I MEAN, I SING IT -
AND IF YOU'VE EVER HEARD ANYONE SINGING IN A BATHROOM * AND I WILL ALWAY
LOVE YOU * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, COME ON.
THAT WAS YOU >> THAT WAS ME IT WAS ME.
AND TO BE CLEAR, I MEAN, THE ONLY WORDS I KNOW. I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THE REST OF
THE SONG [ LAUGHTER ] ANY OF THE REST OF THE SONG.
I JUST REPEAT THAT CHORUS IF THERE'S GOOD ACOUSTICS AND IT'S ECHOEY
>> Jimmy: YEAH, 'CAUSE I HAVE ANOTHER VIDEO TO SHOW. THIS IS YOU OVER A CANYON IN
UTAH SOMEWHERE LOOK AT THIS ONE
* AND I
WILL ALWAY LOVE YOU * [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU SCARED? [ APPLAUSE ] >> THAT WAS A LESS ENTHUSIASTIC
VERSION, I THINK >> Jimmy: YEAH, I CAN TELL YOU'RE LIKE.
>> AS A RESULT OF ME BEING 500 FEET IN THE AIR. YOU MUST -- JIMMY, YOU MUST
HAVE A GO-TO SONG WHEN THERE'S ECHOEY ACOUSTIC VIBES. DO YOU
I REALLY -- YOU GOTTA. >> Jimmy: WELL I -- TWO, THREE, FOUR -
* THAT'S ABOUT IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU. >> I MEAN. >> Jimmy: ZOEY, I WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS THIS AUDIBLE ORIGINAL. >> YES
>> Jimmy: "A TOTAL SWITCH SHOW." EXPLAIN IT
I LOVE IT. IT'S A TWIST ON A CLASSIC, BASICALLY?
>> YES "A TOTAL SWITCH SHOW," IT'S A HILARIOUS, NOT SO SWEET VERSE
VERSION "FREAKY FRIDAY," WHERE ME AND MY MOM'S CHARACTERS SWITCH BODIES.
I SAY CHARACTERS, 'CAUSE THESE PEOPLE ARE NOWHERE INSPIRED BY HER AND I.
IT'S EXCLUSIVELY ON AUDIBLE NOW. IT WAS A REAL FAMILY AFFAIR.
I CO-CREATED IT. MY MOM AND I STAR IN IT. MY SISTER CO-WROTE IT.
AND MY DAD, YET AGAIN, FELT LEFT OUT AND I JUST WANTED TO MENTION HE IS STILL ALIVE AND
WE DO LOVE HIM [ LAUGHTER ] HE JUST --
>> Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU, DAD WE LOVE YOU, DAD >> -- HE DOESN'T -- HE DOESN'T
STAND CHANCE AGAINST THREE GIRLS. SO GOOD LUCK, JIMM
THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR FUTURE WITH YOUR WIFE AND TWO DAUGHTERS.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT GOSH, YOU'RE RIGHT [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE. >> Jimmy: NOT A CHANCE I ALREADY KNOW IT.
BUDDY, I LOVE EVERY TIME YOU COME ON. PLEASE COME ON MORE OFTEN.
REALLY AND NEXT TIME PLEASE IN PERSON I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! >> YAY >> Jimmy: CONGRATULATION WITH
EVERYTHING >> THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: "A TOTAL SWITCH SHOW" IS AVAILABLE NOW ON AUDIBLE.COM.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM CONWAY THE MACHINE FEATURING J.I.D. AND
LUDACRIS STICK AROUND EVERYBODY I GOT TO GET YOU INTO IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "SCATTER
BRAIN" FROM HIS NEW ALBUM "LA MAQUINA," HERE'S CONWAY THE MACHINE FEATURING
J.I.D AND LUDACRIS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
* I GOT REASONS YEAH MILLION REASON
WHY YOU GONNA DIE * * FREE ALL THE REAL ONES MA I GOT REASON
MILLION REASON TIME TO TAKE A LIFE * * YEAH DRUMWORK MUSIC GROUP
SHOUT OUT MY DOG DON CANNON MAN * PLEASE STOP ASKING WHY*
* I APPRECIATE YOU LEGEND I GOT REASON MY OWN REASONS *
* BIG TAL REASONS IN MY MIND *
* PACKS IN THE MAIL PACKS ON THE ROAD * * CONNECT FACETIMED
SAID HE JUST HIT THE LAST OF MY LOA THE WATER ON MY NECK THAT *
* COME FROM THE PACKS THAT I SOL NEVER WENT
PLATINUM OR GOLD * * YOU STILL HANG WITH HIM AND YOU KNOW HE A RA
AND HE TOL LOVE WHEN A BOY TALKS * * STUPID 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN
SHOTS RUN HIM DOWN AND H CLAPPIN' HIS POL TRUST ME THAT DOESN'T *
* BODE WELL FOR YOU LISTE IT'S GON' BE VICTIMS I'M A STRETCH BABY BOY
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE * * HAND AROUND THE THROA OF THE RAP GAM
AND I'M BOA CONSTRICTIN' MY SOUL IS MISSIN' * * IN THE TOP SPOT
I GOT SOLE POSITION MA THIS SHORTY TRIPPIN' SHE THINK I *
* WANNA TASTE HER I AIN'T TASTIN' NOTHIN LIKE A COVID SYMPTOM
I'MA SOCIAL DISTANCE * * I GOT NO RESISTANCE WITH A COLT .4
GOLD EDITION I'M A DOPE MAGICIAN * * DISAPPEARIN' IF I
HEAR 'EM DISSIN' KILL THE ENGINEER AN KILL THE HOMIE MIXIN' *
* IN THE SIX STIL FLIPPIN' NIXON SECOND STRIKE THEY FINNA
BILLY CLINT 'EM * * RED AND WHITE HE GOT THE BLUES
TURN HIM INTO FOOD EVERYBODY GRIP A BISCUIT * * RUNNIN' LIGHTS INSIDE
THE CITY LIMIT I'M EXCITED MY LIL SHAWTY SHE THE *
* AND WE INSIDE O SOMETHIN' SIMPLE WITH SUICIDA
FINISH THE SENTENCE * * DOOR CLOSE CHOP THE HEAD OFF A CHICKEN
MORSE CODE IF I' TALKIN' I'M CLICKIN' * * LIGHTS FLICKIN' TELL 'E
HOLD YOUR POSITION MONEY-MOTIVATE MIND ON A MISSION *
* STRAPS IN THE LAP AND THE PACK GOT A LOC ON THE BACK OF THE
CABINET DOORS * * I LIT A MATCH FOR THE TORCH IN THE GAM
FOR THE REAL ONL THE FAKE GET EXPOSED * * SCRAPIN' THE PLAT
BREAKIN' THE BOW MAKIN' IT SHAK TAKIN' IT HOME *
* I'M IN THE A WITH A K SO COME ON IF YOU CRAZ COLD WORLD GOIN' OUT
GUNS BLAZIN' * * GOIN' OUT GUNS BLAZIN COLD-ASS WORLD PEOPL
GET DONE FLAGRAN WORLD GOIN' MAD * * EVEN MY SON VAPIN
I'M IN MY BA I'M DONE PLAYIN' WITH YO GETTIN' RICH OFF ZA LIKE *
* IT'S BASE IN THE '80s TRY JUMPIN' LIKE TRACY McGRAD
TEN CHAINS ON PEOPLE'S * * FACE LOOKIN' CRAZ I STILL GET A PAYCHECK
FROM SHADY A I GOT REASONS * * YEAH
MILLION REASON I GOT MY REASONS YEAH *
* HE GOT HIS REASON MY LIL' HOMIES IS DEMONS YEAH
THEY DEMONS YEAH * * THEY PULL UP AND SHOO FOR NO REASON YEAH
BRRR I GOT M REASONS YEAH * * I GOT MY REASON
I GOT MY REASONS I GOT MY REASONS YEA I GOT MY REASONS *
* I GOT MY REASON I GOT MY REASONS YEA I GOT MY REASONS
I GOT MY REASONS * * OKAY LISTEN YOU SO THIRSTY
YOU DRINKIN' POISO YOU AIN'T GANGSTA * * STOP KIDDIN' AROUND
BRING THE TOYS I LUDA'S YOUR DADD YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY *
* I'M GIVIN' YOU PLAYTIME BUT NONE OF YOU RAPPER COULD SEE ME
NOT EVEN IF I WAS TO * * PICK UP ON FACETIME YOU'RE WASTIN' TIM
HATIN' ON ANOTHER BROTHA WHEN YOU COULD BE MAKIN' * * MONEY YOURSELF OH
FEATHERWEIGHTS I MAKE 'EM LEVITAT GET SPANKED WITH THE *
* HEAVYWEIGHT BELT OH OH AND THE CROWD GOES WILD CREED II TELL 'E
THROW IN THE TOWEL * * COCAINE IS HELL OF A DRUG
LIKE RICK JAME HAVE A COKE AND A SMILE * * F YOUR COUCH AND YOUR
WHOLE EXISTENC YOU'RE LEAVIN' YOUR FAMILY AND THE KIDS DEFENSELESS *
* HEADED TO A EARLY GRAVE NOW YOU DEAD AND BROKE LIFE BEAT 'EM SENSELES
BOW DOWN TO * * RAP'S DIGNITARY 'CAUSE LUDA ALWAYS
BEEN A VISIONARY I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WAS A B * * SO I JUST REA
YOUR OBITUAR I GOT MY REASONS YEA CONWAY GOT HIS REASONS *
* MY LIL' HOMIE IS DEMONS YEAH THEY PULL UP AND SHOOT
FOR NO REASON YEAH * * BRRR I GOT MY REASONS YEA BUFFALO AT
WE GOT OUR REASONS * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW
NIGHT -- CHANCE THE RAPPER AND FRED ARMISEN WILL BE HERE,
AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM ALAN JACKSON MY THANKS TO
KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ZOEY DEUTCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE LOVE YOU, ZOEY. CONWAY THE MACHINE, J.I.D,
LUDACRIS AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY BYE-BYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* *