1 00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:11,578 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:17,851 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,788 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - LUKE BRYAN 4 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:26,960 BRIAN REGAN, POET RUPI KAUR AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:35,168 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1451 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,937 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:40,040 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:50,750 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:00:50,750 --> 00:01:03,329 >> Jimmy: WOW! OH, MY GOODNESS. I SEE YOU. 10 00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:06,833 I SEE YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:11,404 OH, MY GOD IT FEELS GREAT THANK YOU. 12 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:15,241 PLEASE, WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. 13 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:19,179 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 14 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,081 WELL GUYS, EARLIER TONIGHT, PRESIDENT BIDEN DELIVERED HIS FIRST JOINT ADDRESS TO CONGRESS 15 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:29,356 ON THE EVE OF HIS 100th DAY IN OFFICE LAST TIME SOMEONE IN THEIR 70s 16 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:36,463 GOT THAT MUCH APPLAUSE, THEY WERE DOING "DA BUTT. [ LAUGHTER ] 17 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:39,632 >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, THE CAPITOL TOOK CENTER STAGE 18 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,301 TONIGHT, AND I GOT TO BE HONEST, IT WAS NICE TO SEE SOMEONE BEHIND THE PODIUM WHO 19 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:48,375 WASN'T WEARING DEER ANTLERS AND A PELT [ LAUGHTER ] 20 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:52,712 YEAH, IT WAS A FUN NIGHT FOR DEMOCRATS. ON THE OTHER HAND, REPUBLICANS 21 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,914 DIDN'T SEEM TOO THRILLED THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY JUST HEARD THEIR BEST HOPE IN 22 00:01:54,914 --> 00:02:00,487 2024 IS RANDY QUAID. [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, VICE PRESIDENT 23 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,923 KAMALA HARRIS SAT BEHIND BIDEN SHE HAD A SPRAY BOTTLE JUST IN CASE HE STARTED DRIFTING OFF 24 00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:08,595 TOPIC. IT'S LIKE -- "JOE, JOE, JOE - 25 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:11,865 NO JOE, NO, STOP [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE LET'S GET ON WITH IT 26 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:15,368 COME ON. BACK TO FOCUS. DUE TO COVID, THIS WAS NOT A 27 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:18,538 A TYPICAL JOINT ADDRESS. FOR INSTANCE, ALL THE LAWMAKERS WERE SEATED FAR APART FOR 28 00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,340 SOCIAL DISTANCING, WHICH WAS TOO BAD BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T DO THE USUAL CONGRESSIONAL KISS 29 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:29,349 CAM. [ LAUGHTER ] ON CBS, THE ADDRESS AIRED RIGHT 30 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:33,286 AFTER "THE PRICE IS RIGHT AT NIGHT. WHICH WAS WHY BIDEN WAS 31 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:36,556 INTRODUCED WITH "JOE BIDEN, COME ON DOWN!" * 32 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:45,598 [ APPLAUSE ] YEAH, I THINK THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A CROSS PROMOTION, BECAUSE 33 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,367 AFTER UNVEILING HIS AMERICAN FAMILIES PLAN, BIDEN WAS LIKE "AND THE ACTUAL RETAIL PRICE, 34 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:54,841 $1.8 TRILLION! [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT, DURING HIS 35 00:02:54,841 --> 00:03:00,513 ADDRESS, BIDEN UNVEILED HIS $1.8 TRILLION AMERICAN FAMILIES PLAN 36 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,683 AT FIRST, PEOPLE THOUGHT HE SAID "AMERICAN FAMILY PLAN," LIKE WE'RE ALL GOING TO HOP ON 37 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:08,388 THE SAME VERIZON ACCOUNT IT'S LIKE, "IT'S A GENIUS IDEA, WE ALL SHARE THE SAME BILL 38 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:14,094 300 MILLION PEOPLE." A BIG PART OF THE PLAN INCLUDES FREE UNIVERSAL PRESCHOOL 39 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:21,067 [ APPLAUSE ] I THINK THAT'S PRETTY GOOD PRETTY GOOD CONSIDERING SENDING 40 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:25,238 YOUR KID TO PRESCHOOL NOW IS JUST HANDING THEM AN iPAD. [ LAUGHTER ] 41 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,307 AND THIS IS BIG. EARLIER TODAY, FEDERAL INVESTIGATORS RAIDED 42 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:34,614 RUDY GIULIANI'S MANHATTAN APARTMENT AND OFFICE BECAUSE OF HIS DEALINGS IN UKRAINE. 43 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,416 WHEN THE AGENTS WALKED IN, RUDY GOT SO NERVOUS, HE STARTED SWEATING HAIR DYE AND TUCKING 44 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,986 ALL THE EVIDENCE DOWN HIS PANTS. [ LAUGHTER ] 45 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:44,891 "MY WIFE." RUDY WAS LIKE, "WHY, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE EXCEPT FOR 46 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:49,863 EVERYTHING PAST THIS DOOR. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, RUDY PANICKED AND CALLED 47 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,998 HIS LAWYER, THEN WHEN HIS OWN PHONE STARTING RINGING, HE PANICKED EVEN MORE 48 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:58,405 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL GUYS, A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE ROAD TRIPS PLANNED THIS SUMMER, 49 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,073 BUT I JUST SAW THAT GAS STATIONS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY COULD RUN OUT OF GAS IN THE 50 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:07,547 COMING MONTHS. IT'S GOING TO BE A TOUGH SUMMER, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE 51 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:10,150 GASOLINE IS THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN WHITE CLAW SURGE. [ LAUGHTER ] 52 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:20,060 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: NOW YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: THAT'S IT, YEAH. 53 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,062 THE PEOPLE WAITING ONLINE FOR "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY GETS A WHITE CLAW SURGE. 54 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:31,504 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT IS A ROWDY AREA MEANWHILE, TOYMAKER HASBRO JUST 55 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,239 SAID THAT IT WOULD RAISE THE PRICES OF ITS GAMES AND TOYS AS THE COST OF RAW MATERIALS 56 00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:38,978 INCREASES. YEAH, NOW THEY ARE JUST SELLING BOXES THAT SAY, "TOY NOT 57 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:42,515 INCLUDED." [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS, 58 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,250 CHIPOTLE IS GIVING AWAY 250,000 BURRITOS TO NURSES AND HEALTHCARE WORKERS IN HONOR OF 59 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:55,829 NATIONAL NURSES DAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND NOT ONLY IS THAT GREAT NEWS 60 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,565 FOR HEALTHCARE WORKERS, BUT I THINK WE ALSO JUST SOLVED THE GAS SHORTAGE 61 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:09,209 [ LAUGHTER ] I SAW THAT ROTTEN TOMATOES NOW RANKS "PADDINGTON 2" AHEAD OF 62 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:13,446 "CITIZEN KANE" AS THE BEST REVIEWED FILM OF ALL TIME. WHITE CLAW PEOPLE LOVE 63 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:18,651 "PADDINGTON 2. [ CHEERS ] YEAH, "PADDINGTON 2," IT'S A 64 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:22,088 A GREAT MOVIE, BUT IT'S PRETTY SURPRISING THAT THE NUMBER ONE SLOT ISN'T ONE OF PADDINGTON'S 65 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:25,725 MORE DRAMATIC MOVIES I MEAN, JUST THIS YEAR, HE WAS IN "NO PANTS LAND," AND THE 66 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:33,667 YEAR BEFORE THAT, HE WAS IN "BEARACITE." >> Tariq: HA-HA-HA 67 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:39,072 THAT'S IT TARIQ, JUST KEEP FAKE LAUGHING IT IS ALMOST THE WEEKEND 68 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:45,145 >> Jimmy: THERE'S ALSO "MAR ME BY YOUR LADE." >> Tariq: MAN, I WAS AT THE 69 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:48,982 OSCARS ON SUNDAY I SHOULD HAVE STAYED MY ASS IN L.A. 70 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:53,453 >> Jimmy: AND OF COURSE, WHO COULD FORGET CLASSICS LIKE "THE COATBOOK." 71 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:59,793 >> Steve: HOLY [ BLEEP ] THIS IS GREAT. FALLON, YOU'VE CHANGED THE LATE 72 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:04,164 NIGHT GAME ONCE AGAIN. >> Jimmy: AND OF COURSE, "BRAVEHAT. 73 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:14,040 [ LAUGHTER ] GLAD YOU GUYS ENJOYED THAT [ LAUGHTER ] 74 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:19,813 >> Steve: "BRAVE HAT." >> Jimmy: AND SOME MORE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS 75 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,715 AFTER THE SUCCESS OF "GODZILLA VS. KONG," THEY ARE ALREADY THINKING ABOUT THE NEXT MOVIE, 76 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:27,787 WHICH COULD BE CALLED "SON OF KONG." YEP. 77 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,957 IT STARTS WITH KING KONG GOING, "YOU'RE MY SON?" DAMN, THAT CLINIC SAID THAT 78 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:35,795 YOU'D NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND ME [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, IT IS ABOUT A GIANT APE 79 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:40,333 WHO DOESN'T WANT TO GO INTO HIS FAMILY'S LIZARD PUNCHING BUSINESS 80 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:45,438 "I'M DIFFERENT THAN YOU, DAD." [ LAUGHTER ] AND THIS IS FUN, THEY ARE ALSO 81 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:48,875 PLANNING A MOVIE THAT TAKES PLACE BEFORE "SON OF KONG" CALLED "BEFORE I MET YOUR 82 00:06:48,875 --> 00:07:01,021 MONKEY." [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, GUYS -- WELL, GUYS, IT 83 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,523 HAS NOW BEEN OVER A YEAR SINCE WE ALL GOT ON ZOOM, AND YET, SOME PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING 84 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:07,560 THE HANG OF IT, EVEN PEOPLE ON THE NEWS SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, IT 85 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,863 IS TIME FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF "GREATEST MOMENTS IN ZOOM HISTORY. 86 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:10,797 HISTORY. ENJOY. 87 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,335 * 88 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:20,106 >> AND THEY THINK I WILL BECAUSE. >> AS SOON AS THE CONGRESSWOMAN 89 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:24,044 SAID "VIRAL," SHE FROZE. >> I NOW CALL UPON THE PRIME MINISTER OF THE REPUBLIC OF 90 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:27,914 INDIA, HIS EXCELLENCY NARENDRA MODI. >> YOUR EXCELLENCY, PRESIDENT 91 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:33,253 BIDEN. [ PHONE DIALING COLLEAGUES 92 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:37,457 MY FELLOW CITIZENS >> WELL, I GUESS WE COULD, YOU KNOW, GOOD OLD COLLEGE TRY, I 93 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:48,368 SUPPOSE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> IF YOU ARE NEAR THE WHITE 94 00:07:48,368 --> 00:08:05,185 HOUSE, WHAT'S THE MOOD LIKE AMONG THE CROWD THERE? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 95 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:09,222 >> Jimmy: AT THIS POINT, WE'VE ALL HEARD SOME CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT THE VACCINE, BUT 96 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,425 CHECK OUT HOW A DOCTOR REACTED YESTERDAY WHEN A REPUBLICAN LAWMAKER WAS PRESSING HIM ON 97 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,593 LAWMAKER WAS PRESSING HIM ON ONE OF THE THEORIES. 98 00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:16,796 TRACKING FOLKS 99 00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:22,869 >> NOPE. >> WE HEARD ABOUT AN INJECTION OF A TRACKING DEVICE 100 00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,339 IS THAT BEING DONE ANYWHERE? IN ORANGE COUNTY >> I AM SORRY, I JUST HAVE TO 101 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:30,543 COMPOSE MYSELF [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE IS NOT A VACCINE WITH 102 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:37,350 A TRACKING DEVICE EMBEDDED IN IT THAT I KNOW OF EXIST IN THE WORLD, PERIOD. 103 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:46,059 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COME ON. 104 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,894 >> Jimmy: THE LAWMAKER WAS THEN LIKE, OKAY, SO MAYBE I WON'T ASK MY NEXT QUESTION ABOUT THE 105 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:53,166 VACCINE TURNING US INTO WOLF PEOPLE [ LAUGHTER ] 106 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:59,506 HE COULD HAVE SAVED HIMSELF SOME EMBARRASSMENT IF HE HAD JUST LOOKED UP THE ANSWER ON 107 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,474 THE TRACKING DEVICE IN HIS POCKET THE PHONE IS TRACKING YOU, 108 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:06,413 BUDDY. "FITBIT SAYS I DID 10,000 -- YEAH, IT KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE 109 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:12,519 YOU STEPPE AND I HEARD ABOUT A MIX-UP AT A VACCINATION SITE THAT PUT ONE 110 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:16,756 CALIFORNIA WOMAN IN A PECULIAR SITUATION, BUT SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT IT 111 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,058 TO BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT IT LISTEN TO THIS 112 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,128 JOANNE LAWTON'S LEARNED ONE 113 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,431 VERY IMPORTANT LESSON. >> WHAT GOOD WOULD IT DO TO BE AFRAID OF ANYTHING 114 00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,166 >> EVEN AFTER SHE GOT HER COVID-19 VACCINE, THE FIRST DOSE FROM PFIZER AND THE SECOND 115 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:38,411 FROM MODERNA >> HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE TWO SEPARATE -- 116 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,582 >> I FEEL NO DIFFERENT, AND I DON'T GIVE A DARN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 117 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:46,186 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. >> Steve: WOW. 118 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,889 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. THAT REPUBLICAN LAWMAKER WAS 119 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:55,962 LIKE, "JEEZ, NOW YOU HAVE TWO TRACKING DEVICES IN YOU. AND FINALLY, A MAN IN OKLAHOMA 120 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:59,766 GOT INTO A BIT OF AN ACCIDENT WHILE TRYING TO PARK WATCH THIS 121 00:09:59,766 --> 00:09:59,799 WHILE TRYING TO PARK WATCH THIS 122 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,768 >> A CAR CAUGHT ON CAMERA AFTER SMASHING INTO AN OKLAHOMA 123 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:05,638 MIDDLE SCHOOL. POLICE POSTING THIS PICTURE OF THE DAMAGE AND THE DEBRIS TO 124 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:09,142 SOCIAL MEDIA THEY SAY A MAN WAS TRYING TO PARK HIS MERCEDES WHILE HE 125 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,844 ACCIDENTALLY PUT THE SUV INTO DRIVE INSTEAD OF REVERSE AND SLAMMED RIGHT THROUGH THE 126 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:19,853 SCHOOL'S WALL. LUCKILY, NO ONE WAS HURT [ LAUGHTER ] 127 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,588 >> Jimmy: HE TRIED TO PLAY IT OFF BY HOPPING OUT OF THE CAR LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN. 128 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:25,191 "OH, YEAH! WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, RIGHT 129 00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:25,492 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE. 130 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:27,927 * 131 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:46,179 * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY. 132 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,582 WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. YOU CAN SEE HIM ON HIS "PROUD 133 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,552 TO BE RIGHT HERE TOUR" THIS SUMMER LUKE BRYAN IS HERE 134 00:10:52,552 --> 00:11:00,193 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PLUS, HIS NETFLIX STANDUP SPECIAL "BRIAN REGAN ON THE 135 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:03,563 ROCKS" IS AVAILABLE NOW. BRIAN REGAN IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 136 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:07,734 >> Steve: HILARIOUS. >> Jimmy: PLUS WE'VE GOT POETRY FROM RUPI KAUR 137 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:13,840 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELL GUYS, EARLIER TONIGHT, PRESIDENT BIDEN ADDRESSED 138 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:19,512 A JOINT SESSION OF CONGRESS FOR THE FIRST TIME AS PRESIDENT, IT WAS A GREAT SPEECH 139 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,481 AND IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, WE PUT TOGETHER SOME OF THE MORE INTERESTING MOMENTS. 140 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,782 INTERESTING MOMENTS. CHECK IT OUT 141 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:25,518 >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE 142 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:33,960 PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> MADAM SPEAKER, MADAM VICE 143 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,697 PRESIDENT, MEMBERS OF CONGRESS, MY FELLOW AMERICANS. TOMORROW MARKS THE FIRST 144 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:43,570 100 DAYS OF MY PRESIDENCY AND OUR VACCINE ROLLOUT HAS BEEN A A BIG SUCCESS. 145 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,405 OVER 200 MILLION AMERICANS HAVE GOTTEN AT LEAST ONE DOSE, AND I'LL TELL YOU, MODERN MEDICINE 146 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:52,445 SURE HAS CHANGED A LOT FROM BACK WHEN I WAS A KID. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 147 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,314 IT USED TO BE YOU'D GO TO DOCTOR AND SAY, "LISTEN, JACK, I GOT MY KNEES ALL SCRAPED UP 148 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,882 TRYING TO CATCH A BIG EARTHWORM, AND USE IT TO GET THE BIGGEST CATCH OVER AT 149 00:11:55,882 --> 00:12:05,658 ADDISON CREEK. THE CDC IS UPDATING IT'S GUIDELINES ON WEARING MASKS 150 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:10,163 OUTDOORS FOR VACCINATED AMERICANS. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO WEAR A 151 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:15,268 A MASK WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR BEST GAL ON A DATE TO THE CABBAGE HOP. 152 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:21,174 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. [ LAUGHTER ] 153 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:26,112 CLIMATE CHANGE IS STILL ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISSUES THIS COUNTRY IS FACING, BUT IF YOU WANT TO 154 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:31,217 DO YOUR PART, YOU CAN SWITCH YOUR GAS OVEN OUT FOR AN ELECTRIC OVEN. 155 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:35,088 USED TO BE THAT WE DID HAVEN'T THE LUXURY OF AN ELECTRIC OVEN WE USED TO COOK OUR FOOD BY 156 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:38,692 DIGGING UP THE SIDEWALK ROCKS ON A HOT DAY AND TRYING TO FRY EGGS USING THE HEAT FROM THOSE 157 00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:42,595 ROCKS. SOMETIMES, IT WASN'T COMPLETELY SOLID AND HAD THAT CLEAR 158 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:48,601 RUBBERY EGG ON TOP, AND NOW, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I EAT EGGS ONE OF MY PRIORITIES AS 159 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:53,740 PRESIDENT IS REPAIR THE INFRASTRUCTURE OF THIS COUNTRY SOME PEOPLE MIGHT NOT LIKE THIS 160 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,711 PLAN, AND IT REMINDS ME OF A A STANDOFF I HAD WITH A SCARECROW IN OLD MAN 161 00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:03,817 SHERWOOD'S FARM. THE SCARECROW DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE ME. 162 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:08,088 PATCHY JACKET, STRAW HAIR. SO I CHALLENGED HIM TO A A SCARECROWOFF 163 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:13,760 WE BOTH STAND PERFECTLY STILL WITH OUR ARMS OUT. TRY TO OUTLAST THE OTHER ONE 164 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:27,741 EXCUSE ME. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS. ACTUALLY, ONE MORE THING 165 00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:30,710 ACTUALLY, IT REMINDS ME OF A A STORY I ONCE HEARD FROM MY FRIEND NAMED TIM, WHOSE 166 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,514 NICKNAME WAS DUKE SUITCASE >> THIS HAS BEEN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 167 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:40,553 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: DUKE SUITCASE. STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT 168 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,823 BACK WITH "SCREEN GRABS," EVERYBODY. "TONIGHT SHOW SCREEN GRABS." 169 00:13:43,823 --> 00:14:06,713 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 170 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,749 EVERYBODY. IT IS TIME FOR "SCREEN GRABS." HERE WE GO 171 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:09,783 IT IS TIME FOR "SCREEN GRABS." HERE WE GO 172 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:17,691 * >> Jimmy: NOW, THESE ARE SOME 173 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,527 WEIRD, FUNNY THINGS THAT YOU GUYS FOUND ON THE INTERNET, OR TOOK A PICTURE OF IN REAL LIFE, 174 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:25,765 AND THEN SENT IT IN TO US. THE FIRST SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY LAURA IN NEWBURGH, 175 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:29,469 NEW YORK SHE WAS TRYING TO READ AN ARTICLE ON APPLE NEWS. 176 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,772 OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT IT WAS HERE "SUBSCRIPTIONS ARE GETTING OUT 177 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,608 OF HAND. HERE'S HOW TO MANAGE THEM. YEAH 178 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,410 AND THEN, DOWN HERE IT SAYS THAT, "THIS STORY REQUIRES A A SUBSCRIPTION TO APPLE NEWS 179 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:44,117 PLUS." [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S GETTING OUT OF HAND 180 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,954 THIS NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY SARAH FARRELMAN IN ROCHESTER, NEW YORK. 181 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:52,325 SHE WAS LOOKING AT FACEBOOK AND SPOTTED SOME FURNITURE FOR SALE 182 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,729 LOOK AT THIS IT SAYS, "DESIGNER CRACKLED FURNITURE SET, $850. 183 00:14:55,729 --> 00:15:00,433 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: "DESIGNER CRACKLED." 184 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:04,237 LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE THE DESIGNER "I'VE BEEN DESIGNING THIS -- 185 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,639 >> Steve: "I DESIGNED IT RIGHT HERE." [ LAUGHTER ] 186 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,842 >> Jimmy: THIS IS THE OLD COUCH. >> Steve: MY BUTT IS THE 187 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:11,911 DESIGNER >> Jimmy: NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY PETRA KOLB IN 188 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,881 LONDON, ENGLAND. HEY, WE LOVE THAT PEOPLE WATCH IN LONDON. 189 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:19,452 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE WAS WATCHING RACHEL MADDOW, WHO, I GUESS, IS VERY INTO 190 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:22,822 YOGA WATCH THE WAY THESE TWO PICTURES ADDED UP. 191 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:30,764 WOW, SHE'S VERY FLEXIBLE >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS 192 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,767 SENT IN BY PAMMY SALMON. >> Steve: PAMMY SALMON >> Jimmy: PAMMY SALMON 193 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,069 >> Steve: WOW, THAT'S A LOVELY NAME >> Jimmy: THAT'S A FANTASTIC 194 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,138 NAME PAMMY SALMON, RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY. 195 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:43,543 PAMMY SALMON'S OUT THERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE GOOGLED COMMON COVID 196 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:48,181 QUESTIONS IN NEW YORK CITY OKAY AND HERE'S WHAT SHE FOUND. 197 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:51,584 HERE'S, "HOW MUCH DOES A A COVID-19 TEST COST IN NEW YORK?" 198 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,087 "DO YOU HAVE TO QUARANTINE IF YOU'RE TRAVELING TO NEW YORK?" "DOES ANTIBODY TESTS HAVE 199 00:15:54,087 --> 00:16:01,027 A COST?" AND THEN, "ARE NEW YORK CITY DIVORCE COURTS OPEN. 200 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:03,496 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH THAT'S NUMBER FIVE 201 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,066 >> Jimmy: YEAH IT'S BEEN A ROUGH ONE. OUR NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT 202 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:09,569 IN BY MEREDITH MESSINGER IN BOISE, IDAHO SHE FOUND A WEBSITE THAT WILL 203 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:13,106 PRINT CUSTOM PHOTOS ON PILLOWS >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. 204 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,176 HERE'S AN EXAMPLE THAT THEY GAVE WOW. 205 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:22,182 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: NIGHTMARE. >> Jimmy: YEAH 206 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:27,420 WOW. >> Steve: "LET ME OUT. LET ME OUT OF HERE." 207 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:31,458 >> Jimmy: IT TALKS TO YOU AS WELL IT'S A PILLOW, YOU PRESS IT? 208 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,226 >> Steve: I'M ASSUMING THAT IT'S STUCK -- "LET ME OUT, PLEASE 209 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:37,163 I'M TRAPPED IN THE OTHER ZONE. >> Jimmy: THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY AMY McCLOUD IN 210 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:41,434 MONTECITO, CALIFORNIA. SHE SPOTTED SOMEONE SELLING A RUG ONLINE, AND THEY HAD A 211 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:47,107 A VERY INTERESTING WAY OF SHOWING HOW BIG IT WAS >> Steve: OH, GREAT. 212 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:51,378 >> Jimmy: JUST LAY DOWN THERE, HONEY. [ LAUGHTER ] 213 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,780 HONEY, JUST LAY DOWN THERE ON THE RUG, JUST SO I CAN GET THE -- 214 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,716 HONEY, JUST LAY DOWN ON THE RUG, SO WE CAN SEE HOW BIG THE RUG IS 215 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:03,056 MY WIFE'S ABOUT 5'4", SO CAN WE SEE THAT PICTURE -- CAN WE SEE IT AGAIN. 216 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,692 I HOPE IT'S NOT -- I HOPE IT'S NOT BLOOD. I HOPE THAT'S NOT BLOOD. 217 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,861 GEEZ >> Steve: QUICK GET A -- >> Jimmy: IT'S LIKE 218 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,631 A "DATELINE" EPISODE >> Steve: "GET A PICTURE OF THE RUG BEFORE THE BLOOD SPREADS 219 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:17,070 ALL THE WAY. [ LAUGHTER ] "DON'T MOVE. 220 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,139 >> Jimmy: I GOTTA SEE IT AGAIN I JUST THINK THAT'S SO FUNNY, MAN. 221 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,541 [ LAUGHTER ] * NO, BUT, LIKE, WHY DO FACE 222 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,044 DOWN >> Steve: "I DON'T WANT TO SHOW MY FACE. 223 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:29,049 >> Jimmy: YEAH THIS NEXT ONE WAS SENT IN BY SUE SHUGART IN HENDERSONVILLE, 224 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,552 NORTH CAROLINA THEY HAD A SNOW DAY, SO SHE WAS GOING TO TAKE THE KIDS TO 225 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,522 A LOCAL TUBING PLACE >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: AND SAW THIS, RIGHT 226 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,158 HERE THAT'S COOL. IT LOOKS FUN 227 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:41,761 AND THEN IT SAYS UP HERE, "PLEASE READ -- WE ARE CLOSED TODAY DUE TO THE SNOW. 228 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:47,100 THANKS." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: SHUT IT DOWN 229 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,603 >> Jimmy: MAKES SENSE. NEXT SCREEN GRAB WAS SENT IN BY JESSICA SWAFFORD IN WYOMING, 230 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,839 MICHIGAN SHE WAS BROWSING FACEBOOK ON HER PHONE AND SPOTTED A GREAT 231 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:57,610 DEAL "GENTLY USED GE DRYER, $250. [ LAUGHTER ] 232 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:01,448 BARELY >> Steve: GENTLY >> Jimmy: BARELY 233 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,850 GENTLY >> Steve: IT'S GENTLY USED >> Jimmy: GENTLY LOWERED INTO 234 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,252 THE WOODS -- IN MIDDLE OF THE WOODS. >> Steve: GENTLY TOOK OFF THE 235 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,321 FRONT. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: AND TOOK OUT THE 236 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:11,024 INSIDES. >> Jimmy: WE'RE DOWN TO OUR LAST ONE 237 00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:13,226 THIS IS FROM SHAWN SMITH IN CHICAGO. HE WAS WATCHING THE SHOW 238 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:17,163 "YOUNGER." IT'S A GOOD SHOW, AND HE SPOTTED A BACKGROUND EXTRA 239 00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:22,035 PLAYING A MONK THAT HE THINKS LOOKS LIKE ME. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 240 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:36,082 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S INSANE! [ LAUGHTER ] 241 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:44,824 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NOW, THAT -- IT DOES KIND OF LOOK LIKE ME 242 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,560 THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "SCREEN GRABS. IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY SCREEN 243 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,365 GRAB, EMAIL IT TO US AT SCREENGRABS@TONIGHTSHOW.COM. WE MIGHT PUT IT ON THE SHOW. 244 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:55,969 STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LUKE BRYAN, EVERYBODY. 245 00:18:55,969 --> 00:19:20,660 * >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN COUNTRY 246 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:24,030 MUSIC WHO JUST ANNOUNCED HIS "PROUD TO BE RIGHT HERE" TOUR, WHICH KICKS OFF JULY 8th 247 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:28,034 PLEASE WELCOME, LUKE BRYAN, EVERYBODY. 248 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,271 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: AH, GREAT TO SEE YOU, 249 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,473 BUDDY. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. >> WHAT UP 250 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,309 >> Jimmy: IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU, BUDDY WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW 251 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,445 CONGRATS ON THIS, BY THE WAY, HERE THIS IS THE DELUXE VERSION OF 252 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:43,483 YOUR ALBUM [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "BORN HERE, LIVE HERE, DIE 253 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:47,587 HERE," WHICH IS OUT NOW. AND SOON YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO PERFORM THESE SONGS LIVE, 254 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:51,257 BECAUSE YOU JUST ANNOUNCED YOU'RE GOING ON TOUR >> YEAH, THEN I'M GONNA BE ABLE 255 00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:54,694 TO PUT THE DELUXE OF THE DELUXE OF THE DELUXE OUT. >> Jimmy: OF COURSE, THAT'S 256 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:59,065 WHAT WE'RE ALL -- YEAH OR JUST RELEASE A WHOLE NEW ALBUM, YEAH. 257 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:02,335 THE TOUR STARTS JULY 8th TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY 258 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:07,240 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO MOST ABOUT THE TOUR? >> WELL, MY THING IS I KEEP -- 259 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,177 I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT EMOTION THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE WHEN THE LIGHTS COME ON, AND I 260 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:17,917 COME OUT ON STAGE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I FINALLY AM BACK OUT THERE. 261 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:22,689 I MEAN, I THINK WE'RE -- YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE -- YOU'VE HEARD THE TERM KIND OF ROAD 262 00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:26,893 DOGS, AND I'VE KIND OF ALWAYS BEEN A GUY THAT LOVES TO BE ON THE ROAD AND LOVES TO BE OUT 263 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,730 THERE WITH THE FANS AND INTERACTING. AND YOU KNOW THE MAIN THING IS, 264 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:36,336 I JUST THINK ABOUT THAT MOMENT WHEN, YOU KNOW, I HIT THE STAGE, AND IT'S INTERESTING. 265 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:42,442 I MEAN, I'VE EVEN DONE SOME, YOU KNOW, I'VE DONE A COUPLE ZOOM CONCERTS, AND I MEAN, I'M 266 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:46,713 LIKE FORGETTING THE WORDS TO MY SONGS QUITE A BIT. SO I'VE GOT TO LIKE -- I MEAN, 267 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:51,084 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SIT IN MY MUSIC ROOM, AND LIKE GO BACK AND LISTEN TO -- 268 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:55,555 LIKE I AM GOING TO HAVE TO A A LITTLE EXTRA PREP, BECAUSE I AM A LITTLE OUT OF PRACTICE ON 269 00:20:55,555 --> 00:21:01,695 A LOT OF THIS STUFF. >> Jimmy: A LITTLE RUSTY I WILL SAY THAT WHEN WE WERE 270 00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:04,698 LUCKY ENOUGH -- WE HAVE 58 PEOPLE IN OUR AUDIENCE, AND SO THEY ARE AS LOUD AS - 271 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:09,869 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEY'RE AS LOUD AS 10,000 PEOPLE. 272 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,438 AND COMING OUT -- COMING OUT BEHIND THE STAGE AND JUST SEEING AND HEARING THE 273 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:19,312 APPLAUSE, IT'S EMOTIONAL, BUDDY. IT REALLY IS 274 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:22,215 YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE A BIG OL' FULL ROOM IN THERE SO, YEAH, YOU GOT SOME -- YOU 275 00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:25,685 GOT SOME LOUD -- >> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 276 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,888 THIS IS NEW YORKERS, MAN DON'T MESS -- NEW YORKERS KNOW WHAT'S UP, AND THEY LOVE YOU 277 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,624 >> NO ONE CAN YELL LIKE NEW YORKERS, RIGHT >> Jimmy: NO ONE IN THE WORLD. 278 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:35,362 THERE'S NO SPIRIT LIKE THIS. [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: I HAVE TO SAY, 279 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:41,735 BECAUSE, OBVIOUSLY, YOU COULDN'T BE BIGGER AND MORE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR CAREER, AND 280 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:43,503 EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT, AND THEN YOU POST THIS INSTAGRAM POST THAT MADE ME LAUGH REALLY 281 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:50,643 HARD, AND YOU SAID -- YOUR QUOTE WAS, "I GOT TO WORK HARDER." 282 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:55,782 IT'S A PICTURE OF YOU ON SOME TELEVISION SHOW, BUT UNDERNEATH YOU IT SAYS, "BLAKE SHELTON. 283 00:21:55,782 --> 00:22:01,054 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S CLASSIC COME ON! 284 00:22:01,054 --> 00:22:04,758 YOU WORKED THIS HARD YOU HAVE HOW MANY NUMBER ONES? YOU'RE LIKE, "YOU THINK I'M 285 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:09,062 BLAKE SHELTON? >> THAT'S FORMER SEXIEST MAN ALIVE RIGHT THERE ON HIS COUCH 286 00:22:09,062 --> 00:22:14,167 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD LINE 287 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:22,776 OBVIOUSLY, YOU MUST KNOW BLAKE >> I MEAN -- YEAH BEFORE I -- I THINK EVEN BEFORE I -- BEFORE I 288 00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:26,346 EVEN POSTED IT ON INSTAGRAM, I SENT -- I SENT IT TO BLAKE, AND I'M LIKE, "I MEAN, MY LIFE IS 289 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:30,550 PRETTY MUCH OVER AFTER THIS POINT. [ LAUGHTER ] 290 00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:37,323 I MEAN -- YOU KNOW, BLAKE JUST CHOOSES TO GO GRAY YOU KNOW, HE JUST CHOOSES TO 291 00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:41,928 LIKE LOOK LIKE A SILVER FOX. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I GOT A "JUST FOR MEN" AND HAIR PRODUCTS - 292 00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:44,864 >> Jimmy: YES, EXACTLY YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. >> AND I WORK HARD ON THIS 293 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,700 >> Jimmy: YOU WORK HARD ON THIS, EXACTLY. >> AND I CAN'T EVEN -- STILL -- 294 00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:50,770 I STILL CAN'T SEPARATE FROM BLAKE. IT'S JUST A SHAME. 295 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:53,573 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT "AMERICAN IDOL." 296 00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:56,676 YOU'RE FANTASTIC ON IT, BUD. AND IT'S -- THE WHOLE CREW IS GREAT OVER THERE 297 00:22:56,676 --> 00:23:00,313 I KNOW THAT YOU HAD TO MISS THE FIRST LIVE SHOW BECAUSE OF COVID, WHICH MUST HAVE BEEN 298 00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:05,952 SCARY FOR YOU. BUT, ALSO, WHAT WAS IT LIKE GOING THROUGH THAT AND ALSO 299 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:10,657 MISSING THE SHOWS? >> WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE FORTUNATE -- YOU KNOW, LIKE, SO 300 00:23:10,657 --> 00:23:15,729 MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE, IT WAS LIKE -- I WAS ONE OF THOSE THAT, I MEAN, I WAS DOING AS 301 00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:22,469 GOOD AS I COULD. LIKE, I REALLY HAD DONE A GREAT JOB AT, YOU KNOW, MASKS AND ALL 302 00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:24,337 OF THAT, AND THEN TO HAVE THAT HAPPEN, IT WAS A BUMMER, AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, GOSH, THIS IS 303 00:23:24,337 --> 00:23:31,077 GONNA BE A MEDIA NIGHTMARE AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MISS STUFF. 304 00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:36,583 BUT THANKFULLY, YOU KNOW, THANKFULLY GOT THROUGH, JUST, I KIND OF -- KIND OF QUARANTINED 305 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:40,086 MYSELF OFF IN A PART OF THE HOUSE. AND IT WAS PRETTY EASY, BUT -- 306 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:46,726 YOU KNOW, PRETTY EASY TO GET THROUGH AS FAR AS MY ESSENTIALS 307 00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:49,095 BUT CERTAINLY GLAD I'M BACK IN THE CHAIR NOW. I'M BACK ROCKING 308 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:52,198 AND, I LOVE -- LOVE THE SHOW THIS YEAR, LOVE THE TALENT I MEAN, YOU KNOW, AND EVEN -- I 309 00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:55,935 MEAN, WE GET A LITTLE REDUNDANT. I MEAN, WE KEEP SAYING "OUR 310 00:23:55,935 --> 00:24:00,774 TALENT'S BETTER THAN LAST YEAR," BUT, YOU KNOW, WE -- WE -- WE'VE HAD PRODUCERS AND 311 00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:05,645 WE'VE HAD SEACREST, WHO'S BEEN THERE SINCE DAY ONE. I MEAN, HE'S PRETTY SHOCKED AND 312 00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:10,250 AMAZED AT THE TALENT, AND, YOU KNOW, WE FEEL LIKE -- YOU KNOW, WE DID A LOT OF AUDITIONS WHERE 313 00:24:10,250 --> 00:24:17,357 THE KIDS COULD AUDITION VIA ZOOM, AND VIA, JUST THEIR COMPUTER, AND WE FELT LIKE THAT 314 00:24:17,357 --> 00:24:20,160 BROUGHT A LOT OF TALENT OUT OF THE WOODWORKS, SO IT'S BEEN A GREAT YEAR 315 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,829 >> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN GREAT AND VERY SUPPORTIVE. I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP 316 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:24,864 HERE'S LUKE BRYAN ON "AMERICAN IDOL." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 317 00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:24,898 IDOL." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 318 00:24:25,432 --> 00:24:27,167 >> LET'S JUST WALK, AND YOU SING IT. 319 00:24:27,167 --> 00:24:29,703 AND WE'RE JUST GONNA WALK IT >> YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT, WE WON'T LOOK AT YOU. 320 00:24:29,703 --> 00:24:33,106 >> READY, COME ON. >> YEAH, READY * I'VE GOT A GIRL CRUSH * 321 00:24:33,106 --> 00:24:39,979 >> YES, YOU DO >> YES, YOU DO * I HATE TO ADMIT IT BU 322 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:47,187 I GOT A HARD RUS AND IT'S SLOWING DOWN * >> COME ON, NOW. 323 00:24:47,187 --> 00:24:50,890 >> GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT MORE FROSTING * I'VE GOT A GIRL CRUSH * 324 00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:53,860 >> THERE IT IS >> THE WAY YOU SAY "CRUSH" IS MAGIC. 325 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:56,363 >> CRUSH >> CRUSH >> THAT'S GOOD 326 00:24:56,363 --> 00:25:00,200 >> ALL RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: COME ON. 327 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,570 THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE. LUKE BRYAN "AMERICAN IDOL" AIRS SUNDAYS AT 328 00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:08,508 8:00 P.M. ON ABC LUKE AND I ARE DOING THE SINGING WHISPER CHALLENGE WHEN 329 00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:10,577 WE COME BACK COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. GET READY, BUD 330 00:25:10,577 --> 00:25:29,396 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 331 00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:32,265 EVERYBODY. WE ARE HANGING OUT WITH LUKE BRYAN RIGHT HERE. 332 00:25:32,265 --> 00:25:37,303 THAT'S MY MAN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LUKE AND I ARE ABOUT TO PLAY A 333 00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:39,673 A SINGING VERSION OF "THE WHISPER CHALLENGE. 334 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:49,883 >> WHISPER CHALLENGE >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. NOW, HERE IS HOW IT WORKS. 335 00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:54,154 ONE PERSON PUTS ON A PAIR OF HEADPHONES WITH LOUD MUSIC PLAYING, THEN THE OTHER PERSON 336 00:25:54,154 --> 00:25:57,857 WILL GET A SONG, SING A PART OF THAT SONG, AND THE PERSON WEARING HEADPHONES TRIES TO 337 00:25:57,857 --> 00:26:01,561 GUESS WHAT THEY JUST SANG. SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THIS AT HOME IF YOU WANT TO 338 00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:05,098 [ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, BUDDY, HERE WE GO I GOT TO PUT MY JAM ON HERE. 339 00:26:05,098 --> 00:26:14,140 HOLD ON. [ LAUGHTER ] GO 340 00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:19,946 * ISN'T IT IRONIC DON'T YOU THINK * >> Jimmy: TODI 341 00:26:19,946 --> 00:26:23,049 WITH YOU IRONIC * >> Jimmy: TODI WITH YOU. * I REALLY DO THINK * 342 00:26:23,049 --> 00:26:28,054 >> Jimmy: AVERAGE. * IT IS LIKE RAIN * >> Jimmy: DO IT RIGHT? 343 00:26:28,054 --> 00:26:30,523 * ON YOUR WEDDING DAY * >> Jimmy: ALL THE WAY. * IT'S A FRIEND * 344 00:26:30,523 --> 00:26:35,562 IT'S MY FRIEND * BUT YOU'VE ALREADY PAID * >> Jimmy: "BOULEVARD OF BROKEN 345 00:26:35,562 --> 00:26:37,197 DREAMS?" [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT, START AGAIN. 346 00:26:37,197 --> 00:26:39,933 START AGAIN. START AGAIN. START AGAIN. 347 00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:43,470 * IT'S LIKE RAIN * >> Jimmy: SHOP RIGHT ON YOUR WEDDING DAY * 348 00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:46,840 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHERE SHOP RIGHT * IT'S A FREE RIDE * 349 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,877 >> Jimmy: SHOP RIGHT * WHERE YOU ALL WAN TO MEET ME * 350 00:26:50,877 --> 00:26:54,381 [ HORNS PLAYING * SHOP RIGHT * * IT THE GOOD ADVICE THAT 351 00:26:54,381 --> 00:27:00,286 YOU JUST DIDN'T TAKE * >> Jimmy: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE WHAT WAS IT? 352 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:02,455 * AND WHO WOULD'V THOUGHT, IT FIGURES * >> Jimmy: WHAT 353 00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:07,694 WHAT WAS IT? * IT IS LIKE RAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY * 354 00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:10,430 >> Jimmy: YEAH I COULDN'T SEE THAT AT ALL I COULDN'T - 355 00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:14,034 >> YOU KNOW, I WAS DOING IT IN FALSETTO, BECAUSE YEAH, I DIDN'T NEED TO BLOW A VOCAL 356 00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:19,072 CHORD OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT FALSETTO MAY HAVE HURT YOU 357 00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:23,677 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. * YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PART 358 00:27:23,677 --> 00:27:27,647 UG ALL NIGHT LONG * >> WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PARTY 359 00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:35,689 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY * TAM BO LI DE SA DEM MOI YA 360 00:27:35,689 --> 00:27:40,593 YEAH, JAMBO JUMBO * [ SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE * OH, JUMBALI 361 00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:44,431 TAM BO LI DE SAY DE MOCHA YEAH, JAMBO, JUMBO * 362 00:27:44,431 --> 00:27:46,299 * >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. SORRY. 363 00:27:46,299 --> 00:27:48,902 SORRY. READY, HERE WE GO. SORRY. 364 00:27:48,902 --> 00:27:52,539 >> JIMMY, THE WHOLE TIME YOU'RE CLAPPING, JIMMY'S SINGING LIKE THIS 365 00:27:52,539 --> 00:27:55,141 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SORRY. READY, READY, HERE WE GO 366 00:27:55,141 --> 00:27:58,111 HERE WE GO, READY? IT DOES LOOK LIKE A SMILE, REALLY 367 00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:03,683 ALL RIGHT. * ALL NIGHT LONG * * ALL NIGHT LONG 368 00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:07,387 [ DING ] >> Jimmy: COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 369 00:28:07,387 --> 00:28:11,558 * ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT * >> I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU DIDN'T 370 00:28:11,558 --> 00:28:15,495 DO * TAM BO LI DE SA DE MOI YA * >> Jimmy: I DID. 371 00:28:15,495 --> 00:28:18,031 >> YOU DID DO IT [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I DID DO IT. 372 00:28:18,031 --> 00:28:25,739 >> WAY TO GIVE ME A FOREIGN LANGUAGE >> Jimmy: OKAY, BUD, I'M GONNA 373 00:28:25,739 --> 00:28:30,343 PUT ON PUT ON MY HEADPHONES AND START MY JAM >> YOU WERE SO INTO THE "ALL 374 00:28:30,343 --> 00:28:33,747 NIGHT LONG" VIBES THAT YEAH. >> Jimmy: I KNOW, IT REALLY TOOK OVER, THAT IS SUCH A GOOD 375 00:28:33,747 --> 00:28:37,684 JAM. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON 376 00:28:37,684 --> 00:28:48,928 [ LAUGHTER ] * 'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT MEAN 377 00:28:48,928 --> 00:28:52,232 TO WALK ALONE * >> THAT IS TOO DAMN HIGH HOLD ON. 378 00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,601 >> Jimmy: WAIT, WAIT START AGAIN. START AGAIN. 379 00:28:54,601 --> 00:29:00,006 >> I GOT TO DO A KEY CHANGE. ALL RIGHT. KEY CHANGE 380 00:29:00,006 --> 00:29:03,143 * HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN * >> Jimmy: "HERE I GO AGAIN ON 381 00:29:03,143 --> 00:29:06,012 MY OWN," WHITESNAKE! [ DINGS ] * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 382 00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:10,684 COME ON. THAT'S MY BUD. * GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROA 383 00:29:10,684 --> 00:29:12,419 I'VE EVER KNOWN * >> Jimmy: LUKE BRYAN, EVERYBODY. 384 00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:15,555 A LITTLE WHITESNAKE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STICK AROUND FOR MORE "TONIGHT 385 00:29:15,555 --> 00:29:19,426 SHOW," EVERYBODY * HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN * 386 00:29:19,426 --> 00:29:34,774 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A 387 00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:38,211 A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHOSE STAND UP SPECIAL, "BRIAN REGAN ON THE ROCKS" IS STREAMING NOW 388 00:29:38,211 --> 00:29:42,282 ON NETFLIX HERE IS BRIAN REGAN. 389 00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:45,819 * >> Jimmy: WOW! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING -- 390 00:29:45,819 --> 00:29:49,289 LOOK AT YOU! WOW. >> HEY JIMMY, HOW ARE YOU? 391 00:29:49,289 --> 00:29:53,560 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." BRIAN, YOU KNOW I'M A BIG FAN 392 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,629 OF YOURS, BUT SOMETHING'S DIFFERENT. YOU LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT. 393 00:29:56,629 --> 00:30:00,133 IS IT -- IT'S THE HAIR. IS THAT NEW HAIR 394 00:30:00,133 --> 00:30:05,372 >> YOU GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT IT EARLIER WITH LUKE BRYAN AND ABOUT -- 395 00:30:05,372 --> 00:30:06,906 YOU KNOW, IT'S THE GRAY HAIR THING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED 396 00:30:06,906 --> 00:30:11,144 EITHER, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: NEW HAIR >> COVID HIT 397 00:30:11,144 --> 00:30:13,113 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> I WENT INTO HIBERNATION, AND I CAME OUT A SENIOR CITIZEN. 398 00:30:13,113 --> 00:30:16,182 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WOW. OH MY GOSH 399 00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:20,787 >> I LOOKED DOWN, I WAS LIKE, "HEY, IS THAT AN AARP CARD?" >> Jimmy: YOU DID IT 400 00:30:20,787 --> 00:30:24,624 YOU MADE IT. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I KNOW THAT YOU'VE 401 00:30:24,624 --> 00:30:28,128 BEEN BACK ON THE ROAD, WHICH IS AWESOME. AS CROWDS ARE KIND OF COMING 402 00:30:28,128 --> 00:30:31,831 OUT AGAIN SLOWLY, AND YOU'VE BEEN TRAVELING WHAT IS IT LIKE FLYING THESE 403 00:30:31,831 --> 00:30:38,938 DAYS >> I DON'T KNOW, MAN I JUST ALWAYS THINK WEIRD 404 00:30:38,938 --> 00:30:44,411 THINGS, YOU KNOW YOU KNOW WHEN THE PLANE BACKS AWAY FROM THE GATE 405 00:30:44,411 --> 00:30:48,548 >> Jimmy: YEAH, SURE >> JUST ONCE I WANT THE PILOT TO POP OPEN THE DOOR AND SAY, 406 00:30:48,548 --> 00:30:52,585 HEY, PUT YOUR HEADS DOWN, I'M BACKING UP [ LAUGHTER ] 407 00:30:52,585 --> 00:30:54,888 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO PULL BACK THIS THING? 408 00:30:54,888 --> 00:30:59,826 >> EVERYBODY - YEAH, GET YOUR HEADS DOWN. I'M TRYING TO BACK UP HERE 409 00:30:59,826 --> 00:31:01,695 18C. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU GET YOUR HEAD DOWN 410 00:31:01,695 --> 00:31:05,498 >> Jimmy: YEAH WHAT DOES BRIAN REGAN DO ARE YOU A WINDOW SEAT GUY OR 411 00:31:05,498 --> 00:31:10,203 ARE YOU AN AISLE SEAT? >> WELL, I - I'D LIKE TO GET AN AISLE 412 00:31:10,203 --> 00:31:14,774 I'LL I TRY TO GET AN EMERGENCY EXIT ROW SEAT IF I CAN DO THAT >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY, YEAH 413 00:31:14,774 --> 00:31:17,744 >> YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT KILLS ME THOUGH? WHEN YOU'RE IN THE EMERGENCY 414 00:31:17,744 --> 00:31:25,085 EXIT ROW SEAT, AND YOU AGREE TO SAVE EVERYONE. HOW COME WHEN THE FLIGHT IS 415 00:31:25,085 --> 00:31:30,523 OVER, NO ONE THANKS YOU? [ LAUGHTER ] PRETTY AMAZING 416 00:31:30,523 --> 00:31:32,392 PRETTY AMAZING WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE DONE, YOU KNOW, YOU THINK SOMEONE WOULD TAKE NOTE OF IT 417 00:31:32,392 --> 00:31:39,833 ON THE WAY OUT, YOU KNOW A LITTLE PAT ON BACK, "HEY, I HEARD WHAT WENT DOWN BEFORE 418 00:31:39,833 --> 00:31:45,171 TAKEOFF. UNBELIEVABLE THE FACT THAT YOU WERE WILLING 419 00:31:45,171 --> 00:31:47,107 TO PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE TO SAVE ME, MY FAMILY AND ALL THE OTHER SOULS ON THIS PLANE IS 420 00:31:47,107 --> 00:31:57,517 ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS A HUMAN CAN OFFER TO ANOTHER THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY 421 00:31:57,517 --> 00:32:01,554 HEART. NO, NOTHING. >> Jimmy: NOTHING AT ALL 422 00:32:01,554 --> 00:32:04,524 >> JUST A BACKPACK, A BACKPACK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. HEY, I WAS AN ALMOST RESPONDER 423 00:32:04,524 --> 00:32:11,664 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AN ALMOST RESPONDER. WHEN YOU DO GET TO YOUR GIGS, 424 00:32:11,664 --> 00:32:17,971 DO YOU HAVE A DRIVER OR DO YOU RENT A CAR >> I HAVE A DRIVER, AND HE'S 425 00:32:17,971 --> 00:32:22,676 CALLED BRIAN >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY WOW, YEAH, I DIDN'T KNOW 426 00:32:22,676 --> 00:32:24,577 >> YEAH, I GET -- I TRY TO GET A RENTAL CAR EVERY NOW AND THEN, AND IN FACT, I HAD TO 427 00:32:24,577 --> 00:32:26,212 CANCEL ONE RECENTLY, AND I CALLED, AND THE GUY SAID, "WELL, YOU'RE CALLING WITHIN 428 00:32:26,212 --> 00:32:38,625 24 HOURS, SO WE NEED TO CHARGE YOU FOR A DAY. AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, OKAY. 429 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:42,662 AND I WAS LIKE, "HEY, AM I ALLOWED TO CHANGE THE RESERVATION? 430 00:32:42,662 --> 00:32:45,999 AND HE GOES, "YEAH, I GUESS. I SAID, "ALL RIGHT I JUST REALIZED I NEED TO PICK 431 00:32:45,999 --> 00:32:51,971 IT UP 48 HOURS FROM NOW. YEAH, CAN YOU CHANGE IT OFFICIALLY IN THE COMPUTER 432 00:32:51,971 --> 00:32:57,110 IS IT OFFICIAL YEAH I WANT TO CANCEL IT. 433 00:32:57,110 --> 00:32:59,612 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT MAN 434 00:32:59,612 --> 00:33:03,650 THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT, BUD I WANT TO TALK THE YOU ABOUT - CAUSE I KNOW YOU GOT YOUR 435 00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:06,953 SPECIAL ON NETFLIX "ON THE ROCKS," BUT THEN YOU'RE ON THE -- 436 00:33:06,953 --> 00:33:11,324 YOU'RE PART OF THE CAST OF THIS SHOW, "LOUDERMILK -- >> YES 437 00:33:11,324 --> 00:33:13,793 >> Jimmy: THAT IS FANTASTIC, BY THE WAY. >> THANK YOU 438 00:33:13,793 --> 00:33:16,663 >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE DOING SOME SERIOUS ACTING IN THIS YOU GOT SOME CHOPS, BUDDY. 439 00:33:16,663 --> 00:33:20,600 >> WELL, I'M HONORED TO BE IN IT IT'S CALLED "LOUDERMILK. 440 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,736 IT'S ON PRIME VIDEO. IT'S A DARK COMEDY PETER FARRELLY AND BOBBY MORT 441 00:33:22,736 --> 00:33:28,375 CO-CREATED IT, THIRD SEASON JUST CAME OUT. RON LIVINGSTON PLAYS 442 00:33:28,375 --> 00:33:34,914 LOUDERMILK, WHO RUNS A A SUBSTANCE ABUSE GROUP, AND HE'S GOT A BUNCH OF MISFITS IN 443 00:33:34,914 --> 00:33:43,456 THE GROUP, AND I FIT IN THERE PERFECTLY. AND IT'S FUN TO BE IN, MAN 444 00:33:43,456 --> 00:33:45,258 PETER FARRELLY SAW ME PERFORM AT A COMEDY FESTIVAL CALLED LUCYFEST, AND HE CAME UP TO ME 445 00:33:45,258 --> 00:33:47,093 AND SAID THAT HE WAS DOING THIS "LOUDERMILK" THING, AND WANTED TO KNOW IF I WANTED TO BE IN 446 00:33:47,093 --> 00:33:56,703 IT SO, I'M HONORED THAT HE PUT ME IN THIS THING. 447 00:33:56,703 --> 00:33:58,438 >> Jimmy: YEAH, HE ACTUALLY JUST WAS QUOTED SOMEWHERE SAYING THAT THIS SEASON, YOU 448 00:33:58,438 --> 00:34:00,106 HAVE SOME OF THE BEST ACTING ON TELEVISION, AND THAT'S PETER FARRELLY WHO'S WON AN 449 00:34:00,106 --> 00:34:08,048 OSCAR, I JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 450 00:34:08,048 --> 00:34:10,650 NOT TOO SHABBY - NOT TOO SHABBY, BRIAN REGAN. >> SO HE GOT MY CHECK. 451 00:34:10,650 --> 00:34:13,386 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH >> I'M HONORED, MAN. 452 00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:16,690 HE'S A GREAT DIRECTOR. >> Jimmy: HE IS. >> AND HE GAVE ME SOME FUN 453 00:34:16,690 --> 00:34:21,294 STUFF TO DO IN SEASON THREE. SO I'M HAPPY TO BE IN IT >> Jimmy: YEAH, THIS SEASON YOU 454 00:34:21,294 --> 00:34:24,431 GET REALLY IN THERE. I WANT TO -- WE'RE GONNA SHOW A CLIP. 455 00:34:24,431 --> 00:34:29,135 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET UP THIS CLIP >> WELL, I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. 456 00:34:29,135 --> 00:34:32,205 I'M ESTRANGED FROM MY FAMILY I'M ESTRANGED FROM MY KIDS I'M TRYING TO RECONNECT -- 457 00:34:32,205 --> 00:34:34,074 >> Jimmy: BRIAN, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE -- I'M TALKING ABOUT THE TV SHOW. 458 00:34:34,074 --> 00:34:39,946 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. LET'S GET BACK ON THAT 459 00:34:39,946 --> 00:34:51,658 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NOT ACTING IN THE SHOW I'M JUST BEING ME. 460 00:34:51,658 --> 00:34:53,526 SO ANYWAY, ONE OF MY SONS ASKED ME TO GO TO CAREER DAY TO TALK ABOUT MY JOB, AND I'M NERVOUS 461 00:34:53,526 --> 00:35:01,067 AS HECK. I'M AN EXTERMINATOR AND WHEN I GET THERE, I FIND OUT I HAVE TO 462 00:35:01,067 --> 00:35:05,105 FOLLOW A GUY WHO'S A SCIENTIST WHO JUST ISOLATED A GENE I'M LIKE, "WE DON'T NEED TO DO 463 00:35:05,105 --> 00:35:09,709 THIS THESE KIDS HAVE SEEN PLENTY. AND THEY'RE LIKE, "NO, NO, NO. 464 00:35:09,709 --> 00:35:12,045 YOU'RE NEXT. SO THIS IS ME TRYING TO IMPRESS MY SON AND HIS FRIENDS 465 00:35:12,045 --> 00:35:16,216 >> Jimmy: THAT'S AWESOME I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE. THIS IS BRIAN REGAN IN THE NEW 466 00:35:16,216 --> 00:35:17,884 SEASON OF "LOUDERMILK. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 467 00:35:19,919 --> 00:35:25,658 DON'T WANT SKUNKS KNOCKING ON THEIR DOOR, SO THEY CALL ME, AND I COME OVER AND I KILL IT. 468 00:35:25,658 --> 00:35:31,264 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KILL SKUNKS >> YEAH, YEAH. 469 00:35:31,264 --> 00:35:36,269 I KILL SKUNKS. I KILL POSSUMS I KILL RATS, ANYTHING WITH FOUR 470 00:35:36,269 --> 00:35:39,773 LEGS OR MORE, I WILL COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE, AND I WILL KILL IT 471 00:35:39,773 --> 00:35:46,112 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS? >> WHAT KIND OF PERSON KILLS 472 00:35:46,112 --> 00:35:48,782 ANIMALS FOR A LIVING >> THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, A LICENSED 473 00:35:48,782 --> 00:35:54,521 EXTERMINATOR >> YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 474 00:35:54,521 --> 00:35:58,358 >> BRIAN REGAN, EVERYBODY. >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: WATCH ALL THREE 475 00:35:58,358 --> 00:36:03,063 SEASONS OF "LOUDERMILK" ON AMAZON PRIME MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE 476 00:36:03,063 --> 00:36:17,410 BREAK, STICK AROUND EVERYBODY. THANK YOU BRIAN. * 477 00:36:17,410 --> 00:36:22,782 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN INTERNATIONALLY RENOWNED POET WHOSE UPCOMING SPECIAL 478 00:36:22,782 --> 00:36:26,820 "RUPI KAUR LIVE" PREMIERES WORLDWIDE THIS FRIDAY. PERFORMING HER POEM, "BROKEN 479 00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:28,755 ENGLISH," HERE IS, RUPI KAUR [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 480 00:36:34,294 --> 00:36:38,932 >> I THINK ABOUT THE WAY MY FATHER PULLED THE FAMILY OUT OF POVERTY WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT A 481 00:36:38,932 --> 00:36:47,240 A VOWEL WAS. AND MY MOTHER RAISED FOUR CHILDREN WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO 482 00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:52,946 CONSTRUCT A PERFECT SENTENCE IN ENGLISH. A DISCOMBOBULATED COUPLE WHO 483 00:36:52,946 --> 00:36:58,385 LANDED IN THE NEW WORLD WITH HOPES THAT LEFT THE BITTER TASTE OF REJECTION IN THEIR 484 00:36:58,385 --> 00:37:07,027 MOUTH. NO FAMILY, NO FRIENDS, JUST MAN AND WIFE 485 00:37:07,027 --> 00:37:11,398 TWO UNIVERSITY DEGREES THAT MEANT NOTHING. ONE MOTHER TONGUE THAT WAS 486 00:37:11,398 --> 00:37:20,607 BROKEN NOW, ONE SWOLLEN BELLY WITH A BABY INSIDE AND A FATHER WORRYING ABOUT 487 00:37:20,607 --> 00:37:30,750 JOBS AND RENT 'CAUSE NO MATTER WHAT THIS BABY WAS COMING. AND THEY THOUGHT TO THEMSELVES 488 00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:37,057 FOR A SPLIT SECOND WAS IT WORTH IT TO PUT ALL OF OUR MONEY INTO THE DREAM OF A COUNTRY THAT'S 489 00:37:37,057 --> 00:37:44,297 SWALLOWING US WHOLE. AND PAPA LOOKS AT HIS WOMAN'S EYES AND SEES LONELINESS LIVING 490 00:37:44,297 --> 00:37:52,072 WHERE THE IRIS WAS WANTS TO GIVE HER A HOME IN A COUNTRY THAT LOOKS AT HER 491 00:37:52,072 --> 00:37:58,878 WITH THE WORD "VISITOR" WRAPPED AROUND THEIR TONGUE. AND WHEN THE WINTER CAME THEY 492 00:37:58,878 --> 00:38:03,683 HAD NOTHING, BUT THE HEAT OF THEIR OWN BODIES TO KEEP THE COLDNESS OUT 493 00:38:03,683 --> 00:38:10,890 THEY TURNED A SUITCASE FULL OF CLOTHES INTO A LIFE AND REGULAR PAYCHECKS TO MAKE SURE THAT THE 494 00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:17,664 CHILDREN OF IMMIGRANTS DIDN'T HATE THEM FOR BEING THE CHILDREN OF IMMIGRANTS 495 00:38:17,664 --> 00:38:25,038 THEIR EYES WERE BEGGING FOR SLEEP BUT WE WERE BEGGING TO BE FED. 496 00:38:25,038 --> 00:38:29,576 AND MY MOUTH IS FULL OF LIKES AND UHMS WHEN I LOOK AT THEM 'CAUSE THERE ARE NO WORDS IN 497 00:38:29,576 --> 00:38:36,683 THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE THAT CAN ARTICULATE THAT KIND OF BEAUTY * 498 00:38:36,683 --> 00:38:43,123 I CAN'T COMPACT THEIR EXISTENCE INTO 26 LETTERS AND CALL IT A DESCRIPTION I TRIED ONCE BUT 499 00:38:43,123 --> 00:38:49,729 THE ADJECTIVES NEEDED TO DESCRIBE THEM DON'T EVEN EXIST I ENDED UP WITH PAGES AND PAGES 500 00:38:49,729 --> 00:38:57,771 FULL OF WORDS FOLLOWED WITH COMMAS AND MORE WORDS AND MORE COMMAS ONLY TO REALIZE THAT 501 00:38:57,771 --> 00:39:07,013 THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN THE WORLD SO INFINITE, THEY COULD NEVER USE A FULL STOP. 502 00:39:07,013 --> 00:39:15,922 SO HOW DARE YOU MOCK YOUR MOTHER WHEN SHE OPENS HER MOUTH AND BROKEN ENGLISH SPILLS OUT. 503 00:39:15,922 --> 00:39:21,428 DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THE FACT THAT SHE SPLIT THROUGH COUNTRIES TO BE HERE SO YOU 504 00:39:21,428 --> 00:39:29,035 WOULDN'T HAVE TO CROSS A A SHORELINE. HER ACCENT IS THICK LIKE HONEY, 505 00:39:29,035 --> 00:39:33,940 HOLD IT WITH YOUR LIFE, IT'S THE ONLY THING SHE HAS LEFT OF HOME 506 00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:37,677 DON'T YOU STOMP ON THAT RICHNESS KISS THE SIDE OF HER TENDER 507 00:39:37,677 --> 00:39:44,884 CHEEK. SHE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO HAVE AN ENTIRE 508 00:39:44,884 --> 00:39:52,625 NATION LAUGH WHEN SHE SPEAKS SHE IS MORE THAN OUR PUNCTUATION AND LANGUAGE 509 00:39:52,625 --> 00:39:57,797 WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO PAINT PICTURES AND WRITE STORIES, BUT SHE MADE AN ENTIRE WORLD FOR 510 00:39:57,797 --> 00:40:13,179 HERSELF. SO HOW IS THAT FOR ART * 511 00:40:13,179 --> 00:40:18,318 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT -- 512 00:40:18,318 --> 00:40:21,187 MICHAEL B. JORDAN AND NATE BARGATZE WILL BE HERE, AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM 513 00:40:21,187 --> 00:40:26,326 COI LERAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MY THANKS TO LUKE BRYAN, 514 00:40:26,326 --> 00:40:29,029 BRIAN REGAN, RUPI KAUR [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM 515 00:40:29,029 --> 00:40:32,332 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 516 00:40:32,332 --> 00:40:34,501 SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE