1 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,546 Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:20,086 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:23,256 TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ANNA KENDRICK, WAYNE FEDERMAN, 4 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:31,364 MUSICAL GUEST "MASKED WOLF" AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW 5 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:38,738 Questlove: 1448 Steve: AND NOW HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 6 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:56,289 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 7 00:00:56,289 --> 00:01:03,630 Jimmy: OH, THAT WAS WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT THERE -- THAT'S AN AUDIENCE RIGHT THERE 8 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:07,067 WELCOME. WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME. 9 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,835 PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME. THANK YOU. 10 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:14,841 WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," LADIES AND GENTLEMEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,577 Jimmy: HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE [ CHEERS ] 12 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:21,514 YEAH LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS HERE. WELL, WE'VE ALL GOTTEN USED TO 13 00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:23,383 WEARING MASKS WHEREVER WE GO, BUT I JUST READ THAT THE CDC IS LOOKING INTO WHETHER IT'S STILL 14 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:30,390 NECESSARY TO WEAR THEM OUTDOORS Steve: OH 15 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:33,860 Jimmy: THAT'S ALL THIS COUNTRY NEEDS RIGHT NOW. TREVOR THE BARTENDER FROM SENOR 16 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:38,131 FROG'S TO HAVE BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG. IT'S LIKE -- 17 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:41,534 [ LAUGHTER ] "I TOLD YOU, BRO!" [ LAUGHTER ] 18 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,236 I GUESS THIS IS GOOD, ALTHOUGH I WAS KIND OF LOOKING FORWARD TO ANOTHER SUMMER WITH 19 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,572 BIKINI LINES ON MY FACE. YOU KNOW Steve: YEAH 20 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,975 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HONESTLY, IT WOULD BE NICE TO GET BACK TO WHEN A 21 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,244 A MASKED MAN OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE WAS JUST A SERIAL KILLER, YOU KNOW 22 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:54,547 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, GUYS, IT'S A BIG WEEKEND FOR HOLLYWOOD. 23 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:59,686 THE 93rd ANNUAL OSCARS ARE THIS SUNDAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:03,189 YEAH OF COURSE, IN QUARANTINE, EVEN THE OSCAR STATUE GAINED WEIGHT 25 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:09,963 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY UNIQUE YEAR FOR THE OSCARS 26 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:16,169 THERE'S NO HOST, NO AFTER PARTY AND NO MOVIES ANYONE SAW [ LAUGHTER ] 27 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,438 YEP, THIS YEAR'S OSCARS ARE ABOUT CELEBRATING ALL OF THE MOVIES WE SCROLLED THROUGH AND 28 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:23,843 THOUGHT, "20 BUCKS NOPE." [ LAUGHTER ] 29 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,679 BUT, THIS IS INTERESTING, THE ACADEMY ANNOUNCED THAT MASKS ARE NOT REQUIRED WHILE CAMERAS 30 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:32,686 ARE ROLLING BUT SHOULD BE WORN DURING COMMERCIAL BREAKS THAT MAKES SENSE 31 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,689 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IF WE'VE LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT THE VIRUS, IT -- IT ONLY 32 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:40,326 SPREADS DURING COMMERCIALS [ LAUGHTER ] AND SPEAKING OF MOVIES, TODAY, 33 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:45,699 "MORTAL KOMBAT" WAS RELEASED IN THEATERS AND ON HBO MAX. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW "MORTAL 34 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,101 KOMBAT" YET, BUT I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY, I JUST HOPE IT LIVES UP TO THE 35 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:54,107 PLAY [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 36 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,277 NETFLIX IS REPORTEDLY NEARING A DEAL ON AN UPCOMING BIOPIC ABOUT THE BAND "KISS," CALLED 37 00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:02,082 "SHOUT IT OUT LOUD." YEAH, IT'S PRETTY EXCITING NEWS 38 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:06,152 Steve: YEAH JIMMY, SO EXCITING Jimmy: HIGGINS, I DIDN'T 39 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:10,390 REALIZE YOU WERE SUCH A BIG "KISS" FAN Steve: WHAT 40 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:15,061 NO, NO, NO, I JUST LOVE BIOPICS. Jimmy: I SEE. 41 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:18,064 DID YOU KNOW IN ADVANCE THAT I'D BE TALKING ABOUT A "KISS" BIOPIC TODAY 42 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:21,334 Steve: NO JUST TOOK A CHANCE I WEAR KISS MAKEUP TO WORK 43 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:27,440 ABOUT HALF THE TIME. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT DURING THE 44 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,844 SHOW Steve: UGH! FINE 45 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:35,548 YOU NEVER SUPPORT ME ANYWAY. Jimmy: OH, COME ON. THANKS, BUDDY. 46 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,485 I APPRECIATE IT. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ME. 47 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:41,654 I'M SORRY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH 48 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:44,190 GET THIS STARTED ON MAY 1st, TOPLESS CLUBS IN LAS VEGAS ARE 49 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:50,296 OFFICIALLY ALLOWED TO REOPEN [ CHEERS ] Steve: WHEW 50 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,166 Jimmy: JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY YOU KNOW 51 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,769 [ LAUGHTER ] IF YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT TOPLESS CLUBS REOPENING, I'M ASSUMING 52 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:59,539 IT WAS A LONG QUARANTINE LISTEN TO THIS NATHAN'S IS OFFERING FIVE-CENT 53 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:05,412 HOTDOGS AT CONEY ISLAND THIS SUMMER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 100 YEARS. 54 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:11,818 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CUSTOMERS WERE LIKE, "I'D ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER IF YOU 55 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:17,090 CHARGE MORE. [ LAUGHTER ] FIVE-CENT HOTDOGS? 56 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:21,661 I'D RATHER GET FIVE-CENT LASIK EYE SURGERY. EATING A FIVE-CENT HOTDOG IS AS 57 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:28,668 SAFE AS TAKING HOME A MATTRESS ON THE STREET THAT SAYS "FREE. [ LAUGHTER ] 58 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:33,373 "SEEMS LIKE A GOOD DEAL. LET'S TAKE IT BACK TO THE HOUSE. 59 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,208 Jimmy: OH, I SAW THE -- MARTHA STEWART JUST ANNOUNCED THE RELEASE OF HER 99th 60 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:40,580 COOKBOOK 99 AT THIS POINT THE RECIPES ARE 61 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:45,819 JUST, "I DON'T KNOW, BOLOGNA ON AN OREO? LEAVE ME ALONE." 62 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:49,089 Steve: WOW. Jimmy: IT SAYS "LEAVE ME ALONE" IN THE BOOK 63 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,492 Steve: THAT'S VERY RUDE FOR A COOKBOOK Jimmy: SHE WOULD NEVER. 64 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:56,196 DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS AN EXPLOSION AT A GENDER REVEAL PARTY -- OH, MY GOSH -- IN 65 00:04:56,196 --> 00:05:02,669 NEW HAMPSHIRE WAS SO POWERFUL THAT IT DAMAGED NEARBY HOMES AND WAS FELT IN OTHER STATES 66 00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:06,706 Tariq: WHAT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE GENDER REVEAL PARTIES 67 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:11,111 Jimmy: AFTER THE EXPLOSION, EVERYONE WAS LIKE, "IT'S A A LAWSUIT. 68 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:15,882 [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE THINGS 69 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,385 Tariq: IT'S CRAZY Jimmy: YEAH, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO REVEAL THE GENDER 70 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:22,756 OF THE BABY, NOT THE IQ OF THE PARENTS. [ LAUGHTER ] 71 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,792 WELL, THIS MADE ME LAUGH A MAN IN TAIWAN IS MAKING NEWS FOR FINDING AN INTERESTING WAY 72 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,629 TO GET SOME EXTRA TIME OFF FROM WORK LISTEN TO THIS STORY 73 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:35,902 A CREATIVE WAY TO GET AN EXTENDED VACATION FROM WORK. HE INITIALLY GOT MARRIED LAST 74 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:39,973 APRIL. HE WAS GIVEN EIGHT DAYS OFF. AT THE END OF HIS LEAVE, HE 75 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:45,345 DIVORCED HIS WIFE AND PLANNED TO REMARRY HER THE NEXT DAY. AND HE DID THIS WHOLE PROCESS, 76 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:50,650 NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES. Jimmy: WOW. 77 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,953 WOW! YEAH, HIS BOSS KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HE GOT A LETTER 78 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:59,626 THAT SAID, "SAVE THE DATE, APRIL 6th, 17th AND 29th." [ LAUGHTER ] 79 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,294 AND FINALLY, A WOMAN HERE IN NEW YORK CITY CAME HOME TO HER APARTMENT AND FOUND AN 80 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:04,164 APARTMENT AND FOUND AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR WATCH THIS 81 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:16,209 * 82 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,311 [ AUDIENCE OHS ] Jimmy: WOW. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW 83 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,147 NEW YORK CITY PIGEONS LAID EGGS [ LAUGHTER ] 84 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:25,852 I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST RATS THAT EARNED THEIR WINGS. [ LAUGHTER ] 85 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:30,490 DON'T WORRY THOUGH, THE PIGEON'S GONE. AND THIS NO RELATION AT ALL, I 86 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,225 JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE ABOUT NATHAN'S FIVE-CENT HOTDOGS THIS SUMMER ON 87 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:39,165 CONEY ISLAND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAPPY SUMMER, EVERYBODY. 88 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,668 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS COME ON. 89 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:55,782 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 90 00:06:55,782 --> 00:07:01,354 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. 91 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:05,792 SHE STARS IN THE NETFLIX MOVIE "STOWAWAY," ANNA KENDRICK IS HERE 92 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:10,430 Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: PLUS, HIS NEW BOOK -- 93 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,232 ONE OF THE FUNNIEST GUYS I HAVE EVER MET -- "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP: FROM MARK TWAIN TO 94 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:18,038 DAVE CHAPPELLE," IS AVAILABLE NOW. WAYNE FEDERMAN IS ON THE SHOW. 95 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:22,342 Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: LOVE WAYNE FEDERMAN. 96 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:26,513 AND HIS SONG "ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN" HAS HIT NUMBER ONE IN SIX COUNTRIES. 97 00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:32,085 WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM "MASKED WOLF!" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 98 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:36,690 ALL THAT, PLUS WE'LL BE DOING AN ALL-NEW THANK YOU NOTES LATER IN THE SHOW. 99 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:41,361 BUT, FIRST, GUYS, I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO FIND MATH BORING YEAH 100 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:45,065 WELL, WE'VE UPDATED MATH TO MAKE THE EQUATIONS MORE ABOUT STUFF YOU CAN RELATE TO. 101 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,599 STUFF YOU CAN RELATE TO. IT'S TIME FOR POPULAR MATHEMATICS. 102 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,104 * 103 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:58,211 Steve: SUCH A GOOD SONG Jimmy: THAT'S SUCH A CATCHY TUNE 104 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:01,181 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR FIRST EQUATION HERE. IF YOU TAKE A PAIR OF CROCS, 105 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:08,488 PLUS GETTING TOO CLOSE TO A CAMPFIRE, IT EQUALS YEEZY'S. [ LAUGHTER ] 106 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:15,495 [ APPLAUSE ] SO, YEAH THAT'S HOW IT WORKS Steve: I SEE IT'S - 107 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:21,067 Jimmy: NEXT UP, IF YOU TAKE MMA PLUS COVID SAFETY, IT EQUALS "MORTAL KOMBAT. 108 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,237 Steve: OH [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I CAN EVEN -- I FEEL 109 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,040 MYSELF GETTING SMARTER AS I'M DOING THESE EQUATIONS. Steve: YOU CAN VISUALIZE 110 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,909 THEM TOO Jimmy: YES. IF YOU TAKE DR. FAUCI -- 111 00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,778 Steve: YEP. Jimmy: PLUS 20 DECIBELS, PLUS RUBBING A BALLOON ON YOUR 112 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:36,916 HEAD, IT EQUALS BERNIE SANDERS [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 113 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,886 MATH IS FUN AGAIN. Steve: IT'S FUN Jimmy: MATH IS FUN AGAIN AND 114 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,489 "THE TONIGHT SHOW" HELPED MAKE IT THAT WAY. HERE'S ANOTHER ONE 115 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,592 IF YOU TAKE THREE NASCAR RACES, PLUS THREE "RAMBO" SEQUELS, PLUS THREE TONS OF TNT, MINUS 116 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:53,199 HAIR, IT EQUALS "FAST AND FURIOUS 9. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 117 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:57,904 Steve: THAT'S TRUE. Jimmy: HERE IS ANOTHER ONE. DARK RED 118 00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:01,608 Steve: YEAH Jimmy: PLUS THE PRESIDENT Steve: MM-HH. 119 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:08,615 Jimmy: PLUS "MMMBOP," EQUALS SCARLETT JOHANSSON [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 120 00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,583 Steve: THAT'S A THINKER THAT'S A THINKER Jimmy: SOMEBODY JUST WALKED 121 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,019 OUT. Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? Jimmy: YEAH 122 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,155 [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER Steve: AND SAID THAT'S IT Jimmy: THAT'S IT. 123 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,691 THAT'S IT. THEY STOOD UP, AND THEY WALKED OUT. 124 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,894 "THAT'S IT, I CAN TAKE NO MORE!" Steve: "THAT IS NOT MY KIND 125 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:24,564 OF HUMOR." Jimmy: "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. 126 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:32,872 Steve: SCARLETT JOHANSSON Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. 127 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:36,376 Steve: "I DIDN'T PAY MONEY FOR THIS." Jimmy: I SHOULD AUDITION FOR 128 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,546 THE NEW "DOWNTON ABBEY" MOVIE. Steve: YOU SHOULD IT'S COMING OUT. 129 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,182 Jimmy: RIGHT? Steve: THEY'RE SHOOTING IT, YEAH 130 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,784 Jimmy: THEY'RE FILMING IT NOW. Steve: YEAH 131 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,152 Jimmy: I JUST WANT TO COME IN AND SAY, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. 132 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,955 Steve: AND THEN WALK OUT WITH GLOVES IN YOUR -- Jimmy: AND THEN -- WELL, I 133 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:51,691 SHOULD HAVE GLOVES IN MY HAND, OR I SHOULD BE WEARING GLOVES. Steve: RIGHT. 134 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,126 Jimmy: AND THEN SOMEONE INSULTS ME Steve: RIGHT. 135 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,395 Jimmy: AND I GO, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. AND THEN THEY'RE LEAVING AND 136 00:09:55,395 --> 00:10:01,201 THEY INSULT ME AGAIN AND I GO, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. 137 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,037 AND THEN THEY INSULT ME ONE MORE TIME AND BELITTLE ME. Steve: RIGHT. 138 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,773 RIGHT. Jimmy: I GO, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!" 139 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:15,081 [ LAUGHTER ] [ SLAP ] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 140 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,684 Steve: AND THEN YOU PUT THE GLOVE BACK ON. Jimmy: YEAH 141 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,652 Steve: THAT'S A CLASS MOVE. THAT'S A CLASS MOVE. OH, YOU BUTTON IT. 142 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:23,056 OH, MY GOD THAT GLOVE HAS BUTTONS OH WAIT, A ZIPPER. 143 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:26,326 IT'S A ZIPPER GLOVE WITH BUTTONS. OH, AND IT'S FOLD OVER 144 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,262 OH, MY GOD IT'S GOT VELCRO. OH, AND A CRANK AND A CRANK AND 145 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:33,433 A CRANK. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "GOOD DAY TO YOU, 146 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:39,539 SIR! Steve: OUT! Jimmy: THAT'S ANOTHER GOOD 147 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:42,942 ONE. "OUT!" Jimmy: "OUT." 148 00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:47,547 "I'LL GIVE YOU THREE DIFFERENT -- Steve: YEAH, YOU GET THREE 149 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,949 DIFFERENT THINGS ON EVERYTHING THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH A A GREAT ACTOR. 150 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,018 Jimmy: THANK YOU, MAN, APPRECIATE IT! Steve: YEAH 151 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:55,021 Jimmy: "OUT." Steve: NOW YOU'RE SCARED. DO YOU'RE SCARED 152 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:59,559 Jimmy: "OUT!" Steve: NOW YOU'RE ANGRY Jimmy: "OUT!" 153 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,227 Steve: NOW YOU'RE TREPIDATION -- YOU HAVE TREPIDATION -- YOU'RE 154 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:07,200 TREPIDATIOUS Jimmy: "OUT?" [ LAUGHTER ] 155 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,504 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE HERE. HARRY STYLES Steve: YEAH 156 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,641 Jimmy: PLUS A CERAMICS WHEEL, EQUALS HARRY POTTER Steve: OH 157 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,744 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SEE, YOU UNDERSTAND? Steve: YEAH, THAT'S 158 00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,080 MATHEMATICS. POPULAR. [ APPLAUSE ] 159 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,514 Jimmy: UP NEXT, IF YOU TAKE TED DANSON Steve: TED DANSON 160 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,717 Jimmy: PLUS TOM SELLECK Steve: MM-HH. Jimmy: PLUS 161 00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,685 STEVE GUTTENBERG, PLUS DA BABY, EQUALS THREE MEN AND DA BABY [ LAUGHTER ] 162 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,755 Jimmy: THEY SHOULD MAKE THAT Steve: COME ON! 163 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,724 Jimmy: THEY SHOULD MAKE THAT Steve: COME ON. 164 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,792 Jimmy: STARTING FILMING TOMORROW Steve: YEAH 165 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,295 "THREE MEN AND DA BABY." Jimmy: "THREE MEN AND DA BABY." 166 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,163 FINALLY, IF YOU TAKE GETTING A A VACCINE, PLUS THE ROCK, PLUS NASH BRIDGES, PLUS THE PRIME 167 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:43,937 MINISTER OF THE U.K., IT EQUALS JOHNSON AND JOHNSON AND JOHNSON AND JOHNSON AND JOHNSON. 168 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,439 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S ALL OF THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "POPULAR MATHEMATICS." 169 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,309 STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE BACK WITH "THANK YOU NOTES," EVERYBODY. 170 00:11:49,309 --> 00:12:11,131 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 171 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,401 Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TODAY IS FRIDAY AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP WITH 172 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,804 PERSONAL STUFF YOU KNOW, I CHECK MY INBOX, I RETURN SOME E-MAILS. 173 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:21,307 AND, OF COURSE, I SEND OUT THANK YOU NOTES. BUT I WAS -- 174 00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:24,411 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND TODAY, SO I THOUGHT IF YOU GUYS 175 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:28,948 WOULDN'T MIND I'D LIKE TO WRITE OUT MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW. 176 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:32,886 IS THAT COOL WITH YOU GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I APPRECIATE IT. 177 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:39,993 JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE * 178 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:44,464 [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, THIS YEAR'S OSCARS SET, FOR LOOKING LIKE YOU WERE 179 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:51,237 FILMED IN IKEA'S OUTDOOR FURNITURE SECTION. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 180 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:57,911 THAT'S REAL. Steve: IKEA - * 181 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,679 Jimmy: THANK YOU, OSCAR NOMINATED MOVIES THAT WERE ONLY RELEASED ON STREAMING, OR AS 182 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:05,685 STRAIGHT TO DVD MOVIES PUT IT, "OH, SO NOW THIS IS A CELEBRATED THING 183 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:11,791 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "OKAY. OKAY." 184 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,194 Steve: WOW. Jimmy: "SO, NOW THAT'S A CELEBRATED THING 185 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:18,465 OKAY." [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: THE RULES GOT 186 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,401 CHANGED. Jimmy: "OKAY. WE'RE DOING THAT NOW, I GUESS. 187 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:26,673 OKAY." [ LAUGHTER ] * 188 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,441 THANK YOU, AIR TAG, FOR BEING THE NAME OF APPLE'S NEW DEVICE TRACKER, AS WELL AS A GREAT 189 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:35,749 GAME IDEA FOR AN ONLY CHILD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "BILLY, GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY AIR 190 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:41,321 TAG! "YOU'RE IT, AIR. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 191 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:46,459 "OKAY. WE'RE DOING THAT NOW [ AUDIENCE OHS ] 192 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,528 OKAY OKAY." Steve: DOES NOT LIKE IT 193 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:49,963 Jimmy: "OH, WE'RE DOING THAT NOW? OKAY." 194 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:56,736 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE OVERREACTING. Steve: "OH, NO. 195 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,105 Jimmy: "YEAH, WE'RE DOING THAT NOW, I GUESS. OKAY." 196 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,508 * THANK YOU, STOUFFER'S NEW LASAGNA MAC, FOR BEING THE 197 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:07,280 TASTIEST WAY TO LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU ARE GOING THROUGH STUFF RIGHT NOW. 198 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:12,886 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] "JUST GET OFF MY BACK. 199 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:17,590 LOOKS PRETTY GOOD TO ME, MAN DO YOU THINK YOU'D TASTE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE CHEESE 200 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:22,862 AND SAUCE, THEN THE MAC -- THE CHEDDAR CHEESE Steve: YOU MEAN THE MAC 201 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,065 CHEESE IT'S LASAGNA MAC, SO IT'S MADE WITH MACARONI AND CHEESE BUT 202 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:30,270 LASAGNA STYLE. Jimmy: IT'S LASAGNA BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LASAGNA IS - 203 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,806 Steve: MACARONI AND CHEESE. Jimmy: MACARONI AND CHEESE. Steve: YEAH, I THINK I COULD 204 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,408 TELL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I HAVE A FOOD PROBLEM, SO I'M 205 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,378 SURE I COULD TELL. Jimmy: YOU HAVE WHAT? Steve: A FOOD PROBLEM 206 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,114 I LOVE FOOD. Jimmy: A FOOD PROBLEM Steve: YEAH,. 207 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,384 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] A PROBLEM WITH FOOD. Jimmy: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM 208 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,886 Steve: I'M ON A SEAFOOD DIET Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. 209 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,289 Steve: YEAH Jimmy: YOU SEE FOOD, YOU EAT IT, RIGHT? 210 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:52,092 Steve: NO, NO, NO FISH, SHELLFISH. [ LAUGHTER ] 211 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,761 Jimmy: OH Steve: YOU KNOW CLAMS - Jimmy: OH, I UNDERSTAND 212 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,297 I'M SORRY. I MISUNDERSTOOD. Steve: YEAH, NO 213 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,932 Jimmy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING A - Steve: OH, YOU THOUGHT I 214 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,333 SAID S-E-E DIET. NO Jimmy: "WELL, I THOUGHT YOU 215 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,736 WERE, PERHAPS, DOING --" Steve: "A COMICAL BIT?" Jimmy: "SOME HUMOR. 216 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:07,574 Steve: "NO. I WAS MERELY TELLING YOU A FACT ABOUT MY DIETARY MEANS." 217 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,310 Jimmy: "UNDERSTOOD. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ON A SEAFOOD DIET." 218 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,145 Steve: "I DID." Jimmy: "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FINISH IT UP WITH, 'I SEE 219 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,447 FOOD, I EAT IT.' BUT, INSTEAD --" Steve: "NO, NO, NO. 220 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,316 Jimmy: "YOU ARE ON A SEAFOOD DIET BECAUSE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SHRIMP, TROUT, MAYBE, SEA 221 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,385 BASS." Steve: "YES." Jimmy: "MAYBE A THICK SEA 222 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:22,088 BASS." Steve: "THICK A THICK CHUNK OF SEA BASS. 223 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,057 Jimmy: "YES, ALMOST LIKE A -- Steve: "WITH CHILI MAC OVER 224 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,892 IT." Jimmy: "YES OR SOME OF THE WHOLE FISH UNDER 225 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:31,064 SALT." Steve: "BAKED IN SALT." Jimmy: "BRANZINO, FOR TWO." 226 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:37,937 Steve: "DO IT, BRANZINI." Jimmy: "DO IT, BRANZINI." [ LAUGHTER ] 227 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,341 Steve: "CAN YOU SMOTHER THAT WITH SOME STOUFFER'S LASAGNA MAC? 228 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,643 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "CAN YOU TAKE THIS FISH AND JUST COMPLETELY RUIN 229 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:48,648 IT BY PUTTING MICROWAVE PASTA ON TOP, BUT THEN --" I THINK IT'S -- I THINK IT'S A 230 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:53,453 A MISTAKE. I THINK THE LASAGNA'S ONE THING. 231 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,355 Steve: YEAH Jimmy: AND I'M DOWN FOR STOUFFER'S 232 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,724 I'M A FRENCH -- FRENCH BREAD PIZZA DUDE I LOVE THOSE 233 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,360 Steve: SURE YEAH, I'M ALL FOR THAT Jimmy: LASAGNA? 234 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,630 SURE GET IT MAC AND CHEESE, SURE 235 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,832 Steve: TOGETHER GOOD Jimmy: NO, I THINK IT'S A 236 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:07,901 A MISTAKE. IT'S THE SAME -- IT'S GONNA DESTROY THE FLAVORS. 237 00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,769 IT'S -- NO Steve: YOU THINK IT MIGHT EVEN TAKE DOWN LASAGNA 238 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,504 Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK IT MIGHT TAKE IT OUT. TAKE IT DOWN 239 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,239 Steve: SO - Jimmy: THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT IN -- IN NAPLES, IN NAPOLI 240 00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,308 Steve: OH, THEY'D BE SO MAD Jimmy: YEAH THEY'D BE LIKE, "HONEY, 241 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:22,115 BRAZINI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING [ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE 242 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:41,334 [ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE Steve: STOUFFER'S [ LAUGHTER ] 243 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,504 THAT'S A WEIRD AD. Jimmy: ODD. [ APPLAUSE ] 244 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,172 THAT WAS A COMMERCIAL FOR STOUFFER'S Steve: YEAH, THAT WAS A 245 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,675 A COMMERCIAL FOR STOUFFER'S. Jimmy: PEOPLE IN ITALY ARGUING? 246 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,077 Steve: YEAH, THEY'RE ARGUING ABOUT HOW -- Jimmy: THEY WOKE THE GRANDMA 247 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,813 UP Steve: YEAH, THEY WOKE GRANDMA UP OUT OF BED. 248 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,083 ARE WE ON POPULAR MATHEMATICS? Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? YEAH, NO, NO, WE'RE DOING 249 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,085 A DIFFERENT BIT. "THANK YOU NOTES." Steve: OH, SORRY. 250 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:03,757 I ZONED OUT FOR A SECOND Jimmy: NO PROBLEM, BUD. * 251 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:07,160 THANK YOU, GIANT EXPLOSIONS, FOR MEANING ONE OF THREE THINGS, A FIRE, A GAS LEAK OR 252 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:13,266 A GENDER REVEAL GONE WRONG YEAH, THAT'S - [ APPLAUSE ] 253 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:20,907 TOO REAL * THANK YOU, NATTY LIGHTS NEW 254 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:27,247 FROZEN ICICLES, FOR NOT GOING BY YOUR ORIGINAL NAME, GOGURT FOR DRUNKS 255 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:31,951 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: NATTY LIGHT. Jimmy: NATTY LIGHT. 256 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,154 Steve: OH Jimmy: YEAH, THAT MAKES -- THAT MAKES ANYONE -- YOU CALL 257 00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:37,657 NATURAL LIGHT NATTY LIGHT? Steve: THAT JUST SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. 258 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,060 HOW MANY STOUFFER'S MACS DO YOU GOT? OH 259 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,229 Jimmy: "THEY'RE EVEN BETTER NON-FROZEN." Steve: YOU'RE EATING THEM 260 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:47,267 FROZEN Jimmy: JUST BEER? "YEAH, BEER IN A TUBE. 261 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:52,839 THEY SHOULD PUT IT IN A CAN. THEN YOU CAN DRINK IT ALL DAY LONG." 262 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,809 * THANK YOU, WHITE NOISE MACHINES, FOR GETTING ME TO PAY 263 00:17:55,809 --> 00:18:05,185 $80 WHEN I COULD HAVE JUST PUT A BUCKET OVER A FAN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 264 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:11,524 WHITE NOISE MACHINE? Steve: YEAH [ WHITE NOISE 265 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:16,162 [ FART ] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [ FART ] 266 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:20,834 * [ FART ] Jimmy: DUDE 267 00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:26,272 [ FART ] [ LAUGHTER ] OH, MY GOD 268 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,676 * THANK YOU, BAGGAGE CLAIM, FOR BEING AN AMUSEMENT PARK FOR MY 269 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:34,481 LUGGAGE. [ APPLAUSE ] BAGS HAVE SOME FUN, TOO. 270 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:41,388 LIKE, "OH. * THANK YOU, NECCO WAFERS, OR AS 271 00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:45,725 I LIKE TO CALL YOU DESSERT TUMS THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY 272 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,594 THOSE ARE "THANK-YOU NOTES." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANNA KENDRICK! 273 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:53,400 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 274 00:18:53,400 --> 00:19:13,620 * Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN OSCAR, EMMY, AND 275 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,422 TONY NOMINATED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "STOWAWAY," WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON 276 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:23,596 NETFLIX. HERE IS ANNA KENDRICK! YES! 277 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:27,400 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. HEY! ANNA, WELCOME. 278 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,904 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING OUR SHOW AGAIN IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU 279 00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:34,407 IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. THANKS FOR HAVING ME Jimmy: PLEASE 280 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:38,244 IT HAS BEEN PROBABLY, I THINK, JUST OVER A YEAR SINCE I TALKED TO YOU LAST. 281 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,348 YEAH, YEAH, I THINK I SAW YOU RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS WHOLE THING 282 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,383 Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR DOING THE SHOW THEN AND THANK YOU FOR DOING IT NOW 283 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:48,488 HOW HAVE YOU ADAPTED TO LIVING AT HOME? I DON'T THINK I HAVE ADAPTED 284 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:54,294 ANY BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE, BUT I MEAN I'M TRYING TO, LIKE, KEEP IT MOVING, KEEP BUSY. 285 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:58,565 I'M DOING LIKE MY COVID WORKOUT THING. LIKE I'M - 286 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,935 Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT I'M JUST LIKE WATCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF SOME LADY AND 287 00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:06,006 LIKE TRYING TO FOLLOW ALONG, BUT, LIKE, BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO DO, I'VE 288 00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:12,012 GOTTEN KIND OF REALLY INTO IT. AND I'M LIKE -- I'M LIKE, MAYBE I'M A HARD BODY. 289 00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:15,615 MAYBE I'M -- Jimmy: WOW. LIKE HONEY, I'M AN ATHLETE. 290 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,785 Jimmy: REALLY IT OCCURRED TO ME RECENTLY THAT NORMALLY I WOULD BE DOING 291 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:22,422 THIS STUFF LIKE IN A CLASS FULL OF PEOPLE WITH THE FULL-LENGTH MIRRORS JUST TO REALLY 292 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:28,628 ILLUSTRATE HOW MUCH I AM NOT NAILING IT Jimmy: YEAH 293 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:33,333 BUT UNTIL THEN, LIKE, COME ON, SIMONE BILES, I'M COMING FOR YOU. 294 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,301 Jimmy: YOU'RE READY FOR THE OLYMPICS OH, MY BODY IS POETRY IN 295 00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:38,772 MOTION OH, IT'S A GOOD THING THEY POSTPONED THE OLYMPICS, BECAUSE 296 00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:44,244 I'M COMING Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 297 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,312 LIKE THAT'S WHERE I'M AT. UNTIL THINGS GO BACK TO NORMAL AND I ACTUALLY SEE JUST HOW 298 00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:50,250 TERRIBLE ALL OF THE FORM IS. UNTIL THEN I'M LIVING THIS FANTASY. 299 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,552 I LOVE IT. Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR NEW MOVIE, 300 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:55,388 "STOWAWAY. I'M EXCITED FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THIS 301 00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:59,893 IT'S SET IN SPACE. YEAH. Jimmy: AND ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE 302 00:20:59,893 --> 00:21:05,465 NEVER BEEN TO SPACE, YOUR NAME HAS GONE TO MARS CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS 303 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:09,602 THIS IS THE COOLEST STORY EVER OKAY. SO THIS IS -- THE DIRECTOR IS, 304 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:14,107 LIKE, REALLY INTO SPACE, AND BEFORE THE MOVIE CAME OUT HE -- HE GAVE ME -- HE ACTUALLY SENT 305 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:22,482 ME THIS THING WHERE HE WAS LIKE, "I GOT" -- IT WAS CRAZY. "I GOT YOUR NAME AND THE NAME 306 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,518 OF ALL OF THE CAST MEMBERS LIKE ENGRAVED ON THE MARS ROVER," AND I JUST WAS LIKE, "WAIT, 307 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:33,226 WHAT THIS CAN'T BE REAL HOLY CRAP. 308 00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:35,862 SO I ENDED UP HAVING TO LIKE RESEARCH WHAT THIS WAS, AND IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE 309 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:37,630 IT IS LIKE, IT IS A LOVELY GIFT BUT, FIRST OF ALL, NOW I'M DOING RESEARCH, SO ALREADY I 310 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:44,804 DON'T LIKE THIS GIFT AS MUCH CAUSE IT'S HOMEWORK. [ LAUGHTER ] 311 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,340 Jimmy: ANY GIFT THAT MAKES YOU DO RESEARCH. YOU'RE GIVING ME THE GIFT OF 312 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:50,810 HOMEWORK [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO WHAT IT IS, DO YOU GUYS 313 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:55,949 HAVE -- I THINK YOU HAVE LIKE A PHOTO. Jimmy: I DO 314 00:21:55,949 --> 00:21:59,119 THIS IS THE MARS ROVER THIS IS LIKE -- THIS IS AMAZING TO ME. 315 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:00,754 THIS IS, OF COURSE, THE MARS ROVER. INCREDIBLE. 316 00:22:00,754 --> 00:22:05,892 Jimmy: YES. AND NOW YOUR NAME IS SOMEHOW ON HERE 317 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,861 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY. SO, THERE'S APPARENTLY -- THIS 318 00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:09,963 IS WHAT THE ARTICLE SAID THAT I FOUND IN MY RESEARCH, WAS THERE ARE THREE FINGERNAIL-SIZE CHIPS 319 00:22:09,963 --> 00:22:11,398 ON THIS LITTLE PLACARD ON THE MARS ROVER Jimmy: AND YOU ARE ONE OF 320 00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:16,069 THE FINGERNAILS? I'M ONE OF THE FINGERNAILS, BUT 11 MILLION NAMES ARE ON 321 00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:29,849 THESE FINGERNAIL-SIZED CHIPS YEAH, THERE IT IS. JUST THESE - 322 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,752 Jimmy: IN ONE OF THESE CHIPS -- IN ONE OF THESE IS MY NAME 323 00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:37,290 ALONG WITH 11 MILLION OTHER NAMES. VERY COOL. 324 00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:40,093 Jimmy: SO IT IS STILL -- TECHNICALLY YOUR NAME -- OH, TECHNICALLY MY NAME IS 325 00:22:40,093 --> 00:22:42,896 IN SPACE, GUYS Jimmy: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! 326 00:22:42,896 --> 00:22:50,303 YOU ARE ON MARS AS WE SPEAK! YOU WERE TOLD, AND EVERYONE KNOWS THIS, DON'T EVER WORK 327 00:22:50,303 --> 00:22:54,107 WITH ANIMALS, DON'T WORK WITH KIDS, AND SOMEONE -- YEAH. 328 00:22:54,107 --> 00:22:57,277 Jimmy: -- TOLD YOU DON'T EVER DO A MOVIE IN SPACE OKAY, SO YEAH 329 00:22:57,277 --> 00:23:00,347 SO THERE'S DON'T WORK WITH KIDS, DON'T WORK WITH ANIMALS. A PRODUCTION DESIGNER TOLD ME 330 00:23:00,347 --> 00:23:02,048 TO ADD NEVER DO A MOVIE IN SPACE OR ON A SUBMARINE, BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT IS LIKE 331 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:09,255 JUST MISERABLE TO SHOOT BECAUSE IT'S SO CRAMPED. LIKE IT IS SUCH CLOSE QUARTERS 332 00:23:09,255 --> 00:23:14,561 AND YOU HAVE TO GET LIKE THE CREW IN THERE AND THE CAMERA PEOPLE IN THERE. 333 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:17,297 AND SO WHEN THEY'RE DOING THESE TRACKING SHOTS WHERE THEY'RE WALKING IN FRONT OF ME, I'M 334 00:23:17,297 --> 00:23:21,134 TRYING TO SIGNAL THE CAMERA GUY, LIKE, "YOU'RE GOING TO RUN INTO THE THING," AND IT IS JUST 335 00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:25,472 VERY, LIKE, YOU KNOW Jimmy: RIGHT. THAT'S THE TRICKY THING. 336 00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:28,074 IT IS VERY CLAUSTROPHOBIC Jimmy: THEY'RE GOING BACKWARDS AND THEY'RE LIKE 337 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:31,511 BANGING INTO - SO YEAH, TOUGH JOB YEAH. 338 00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,780 YEAH, THIS IS WHERE I REALLY FOUND OUT I'M JUST, LIKE, A KLUTZ. 339 00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:37,851 I'M CAPABLE OF BREAKING ANYTHING, NO MATTER THE SIZE Jimmy: NETFLIX WAS KIND 340 00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:41,321 ENOUGH TO SEND US A FEW OF THESE MOMENTS OF YOURS SO HERE ARE A FEW OF ANNA'S 341 00:23:41,321 --> 00:23:44,357 SO HERE ARE A FEW OF ANNA'S OUTTAKES FROM "STOWAWAY. TAKE A LOOK. 342 00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:53,266 READY, AND ACTION 343 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:59,606 JESUS CHRIST! [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, CUT 344 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:05,712 OH, [ BLEEP ] I'M BREAKING THE SHIP. I BROKE THE SHIP 345 00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:07,681 ABORT, ABORT! Jimmy: "BREAKING THE SHIP, BREAKING THE SHIP. 346 00:24:07,681 --> 00:24:11,718 I'M BREAKING THE SHIP I'M BRAKING THE SHIP. Jimmy: IT IS LIKE, "ARE YOU OKAY? 347 00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:15,321 THIS MOVIE IS AN INTENSE MOVIE, AN EDGE-OF-YOUR SEAT MOVIE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET IT UP FOR 348 00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:19,059 EVERYONE WHAT IT'S ABOUT? YES, SO IT'S THREE 349 00:24:19,059 --> 00:24:21,728 ASTRONAUTS ON A TWO-YEAR MISSION TO MARS, AND THEY HAVE ENOUGH RESOURCES FOR THREE 350 00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:23,563 PEOPLE, AND ABOUT 12 HOURS INTO THE FLIGHT THAT THEY CANNOT TURN AROUND FROM, THEY DISCOVER 351 00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:35,875 A STOWAWAY AND IT IS KIND OF THE QUESTIONS OF HOW DO WE ALL SURVIVE 352 00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:40,246 TOGETHER AND WHAT DO WE DO IF THERE'S REALLY ONLY ENOUGH OXYGEN FOR THREE OF US 353 00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:44,584 Jimmy: OH YES, IT IS VERY NAIL BITEY. Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW 354 00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:47,987 EVERYONE A CLIP, HERE IS ANNA KENDRICK IN "STOWAWAY." TAKE A LOOK. 355 00:24:49,389 --> 00:24:53,493 YOU ARE GOING TO BE FEELING FULL GRAVITY ON THE ROOF A LITTLE OVER 200 METERS TO THE 356 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:59,165 SOLAR PANELS, BUT THE HIGHER YOU GO, THE LESS GRAVITY YOU'LL FEEL 357 00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:04,137 ROGER DO NOT TOUCH THE TETHER WITH THE CLAMPS THAT'S CARRYING THE 358 00:25:04,137 --> 00:25:06,706 POWER DOWN FROM THE SOLAR PANELS LOUD AND CLEAR. 359 00:25:06,706 --> 00:25:26,926 DON'T CLIMB THE POWER TETHERS. * [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 360 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:30,330 Jimmy: HOW COOL IS THAT ANNA KENDRICK, EVERYBODY "STOWAWAY" IS STREAMING NOW ON 361 00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:33,299 NETFLIX. "STOWAWAY. ANNA AND I ARE GOING 362 00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:37,437 HEAD-TO-HEAD IN A NEW SINGING GAME AFTER THE BREAK STICK AROUND 363 00:25:37,437 --> 00:25:58,992 * Jimmy: WELCOME BACK WE ARE HANGING OUT WITH 364 00:25:58,992 --> 00:26:02,529 ANNA KENDRICK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW, ANNA, WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE 365 00:26:02,529 --> 00:26:08,601 A GREAT ACTOR AND SINGER SO I WANTED TO PUT BOTH OF THOSE SKILLS TO THE TEST 366 00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:09,869 WANTED TO PUT BOTH OF THOSE SKILLS TO THE TEST THIS IS "SING IT LIKE" 367 00:26:11,471 --> 00:26:17,777 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 368 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,846 Jimmy: NOW HERE IS HOW IT WORKS. I WILL HIT THIS BUTTON WHICH 369 00:26:19,846 --> 00:26:23,249 ACTIVATES THIS "SING IT LIKE" GENERATOR. IT WILL LAND ON ONE RANDOM SONG 370 00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:27,387 AND ONE RANDOM SITUATION WHOEVER'S TURN IT IS - OKAY. 371 00:26:27,387 --> 00:26:31,057 Jimmy: HAS TO SING THE SONG LIKE THEY'RE IN THAT SITUATION MAKE SENSE 372 00:26:31,057 --> 00:26:34,394 OKAY. Jimmy: ALRIGHT, GOOD. YEP, I'M SUPER EXCITED. 373 00:26:34,394 --> 00:26:37,063 Jimmy: SINCE YOU'RE MY GUEST, YOU WILL GO FIRST OKAY 374 00:26:37,063 --> 00:26:42,168 SO HERE WE GO. OKAY. [ GENERATOR 375 00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:46,973 Jimmy: "PART OF YOUR WORLD. AND YOU HAVE TO SING IT LIKE YOU JUST GOT BOTOX 376 00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:50,777 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] GREAT Jimmy: WHENEVER YOU ARE 377 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:54,280 READY. * * FLIPPIN' YOUR FIN 378 00:26:54,280 --> 00:27:00,186 YOU DON'T GET TOO FA LEGS ARE REQUIRE FOR JUMPING DANCING * 379 00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:03,356 [ LAUGHTER ] * STROLLING ALONG DOWN TH WHAT'S THAT WORD AGAIN 380 00:27:03,356 --> 00:27:11,331 OH STREE UP WHERE THEY WALK * * UP WHERE THEY RUN 381 00:27:11,331 --> 00:27:16,369 UP WHERE THEY STAY ALL DAY IN THE SUN WANDERIN' FREE * 382 00:27:16,369 --> 00:27:25,679 * WISH I COULD BE PART OF THAT WORLD * [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 383 00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:28,615 Jimmy: OKAY GREAT. THAT WAS AWESOME 384 00:27:28,615 --> 00:27:31,885 IT'S MY TURN HERE WE GO [ GENERATOR 385 00:27:31,885 --> 00:27:36,823 SONG IS "YMCA. SING IT LIKE YOUR WI-FI IS CUTTING IN AND OUT 386 00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:40,527 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, I CAN DO THIS. HERE WE GO 387 00:27:40,527 --> 00:27:47,200 * * YOUNG * * 388 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:51,905 * I SAID YOUNG MAN * * * I I I I I I I 389 00:27:51,905 --> 00:28:02,515 NEED TO BE * * * IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE * 390 00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:07,520 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * A STAY AT THE * 391 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:12,559 * [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE SO STUPID 392 00:28:12,559 --> 00:28:14,527 Jimmy: CUTTING OUT? I LOVE IT Jimmy: CUTTING OUT? 393 00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:17,364 AM I ON MUTE OKAY ANNA, YOU ARE UP 394 00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:24,704 [ GENERATOR OKAY WHOA 395 00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:28,641 YOU GOT "I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 396 00:28:28,641 --> 00:28:30,343 AND THE SITUATION IS YOU HAVE TO -- YOU ARE SUDDENLY REALIZING THE CRANBERRY CHICKEN 397 00:28:30,343 --> 00:28:34,214 SALAD YOU HAD FOR LUNCH WENT BAD. [ LAUGHTER ] 398 00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:36,383 OKAY. Jimmy: WHENEVER YOU ARE READY. 399 00:28:36,383 --> 00:28:41,521 OKAY. * * I NEED A MA 400 00:28:41,521 --> 00:28:46,459 WHO'LL TAKE A CHANCE ON A LOV THAT'S HOT ENOUGH TO LAST * 401 00:28:46,459 --> 00:28:53,767 * AND WHEN THE NIGHT FALL MY LONELY HEART CALL OH I WANT TO DANCE * 402 00:28:53,767 --> 00:28:58,071 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * WITH SOMEBODY I WANT TO FEEL THE HEAT BABE 403 00:28:58,071 --> 00:29:02,842 YEAH I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY OH * * WITH SOMEBODY 404 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:13,853 WHO LOVES ME * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON! 405 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:20,026 ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU WERE UNBELIEVABLE. I COULD WATCH THAT FOR HOURS 406 00:29:20,026 --> 00:29:23,663 THIS IS FUN Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. FOR THIS LAST ONE, LET'S TRY A 407 00:29:23,663 --> 00:29:30,704 A DUET OKAY. [ GENERATOR 408 00:29:30,704 --> 00:29:35,308 Jimmy: "I GOT YOU BABE" LIKE YOU'RE REPORTING LIVE DURING A A HURRICANE. 409 00:29:35,308 --> 00:29:37,677 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OKAY ALL RIGHT. 410 00:29:37,677 --> 00:29:40,647 I SEE PROPS COMING IN. OKAY, OKAY. WAIT, ARE YOU GOING TO -- 411 00:29:40,647 --> 00:29:44,050 OKAY -- I -- 'CAUSE I CAN HOLD SOMETHING. Jimmy: I HAVE TO -- 412 00:29:44,050 --> 00:29:47,120 WE'RE DOING -- OH Jimmy: WELL, I WAS TOLD - OH NO 'CAUSE I'M A -- 'CAUSE 413 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,623 I'M A WEATHERMAN, BABY LET'S GO Jimmy: YEAH 414 00:29:50,623 --> 00:29:52,258 OH YEAH. HERE WE GO GREAT 415 00:29:52,258 --> 00:29:56,196 Jimmy: PERFECT. * Jimmy: YOU START OFF. 416 00:29:56,196 --> 00:30:00,133 YEAH. YEAH YEAH. * 417 00:30:00,133 --> 00:30:05,038 * THEY SAY WE'RE YOUNG AN AND AND WE DON'T KNO WE WON'T FIN 418 00:30:05,038 --> 00:30:13,346 OUT UNTIL WE GROW * * WELL I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE 419 00:30:13,346 --> 00:30:19,686 BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT M AND BABE I'VE GOT * * I'VE GOT YO 420 00:30:19,686 --> 00:30:21,988 I'VE GOT YOU BABE WHAT * 421 00:30:21,988 --> 00:30:28,895 * I'VE GOT YOU BABE I'VE GOT YOU BABE * Jimmy: A LOT OF NEWSPAPER 422 00:30:28,895 --> 00:30:35,635 WHERE I'M STANDING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOT OF NEWSPAPER WHERE I'M AT. 423 00:30:35,635 --> 00:30:39,806 MY THANKS TO ANNA KENDRICK "STOWAWAY" IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX. 424 00:30:39,806 --> 00:30:42,642 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 425 00:30:42,642 --> 00:30:59,959 * * Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS 426 00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:03,463 A TALENTED COMEDIAN WHO HAS WRITTEN A NEW BOOK CALLED "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP: FROM 427 00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:09,803 MARK TWAIN TO DAVE CHAPPELL," WHICH IS AVAILABLE NOW PLEASE WELCOME WAYNE FEDERMAN! 428 00:31:09,803 --> 00:31:15,442 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WOW! THIS IS -- THIS IS 429 00:31:15,442 --> 00:31:18,078 UNBELIEVABLE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON 430 00:31:18,078 --> 00:31:22,382 WAYNE, IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING? 431 00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:24,351 WELL, IT IS ACTUALLY GOING PRETTY WELL. YOU KNOW, EVERYONE DOES THEIR 432 00:31:24,351 --> 00:31:31,224 OWN SELF CARE DURING THE PANDEMIC I SAW ANNA, SHE DID HER 433 00:31:31,224 --> 00:31:33,393 EXERCISING OF COURSE, I AM DOING, YOU KNOW, I MICRO DOSE, CLARITIN IS 434 00:31:33,393 --> 00:31:38,431 MY SYSTEM. Jimmy: WOW, MICRO DOSING CLARITIN 435 00:31:38,431 --> 00:31:44,771 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I DO. BUT IT HAS BEEN REALLY FUN 436 00:31:44,771 --> 00:31:47,607 IT HAS BEEN REALLY FUN SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENED DURING THE PANDEMIC TO ME 437 00:31:47,607 --> 00:31:51,444 I HAD MY IDENTITY STOLEN Jimmy: NO WAYNE, THAT'S TERRIBLE 438 00:31:51,444 --> 00:31:53,813 YEAH, YEAH. NO, NO, IT WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO 439 00:31:53,813 --> 00:31:58,651 ME BECAUSE I GO THROUGH LIFE, AND I WONDER, YOU KNOW, DO I MATTER 440 00:31:58,651 --> 00:32:02,155 DOES ANY OF THIS COUNT [ LAUGHTER ] DO I MAKE A DIFFERENCE 441 00:32:02,155 --> 00:32:05,225 THEN ONE DAY I WAKE UP, AND SOMEONE'S LIKE, "HEY, I WANT TO BE YOU, WAYNE. 442 00:32:05,225 --> 00:32:09,796 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW. SOMEBODY WANTS TO BE ME 443 00:32:09,796 --> 00:32:14,134 Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S AMAZING. I KNOW YOU AND ANNA KENDRICK WORKED ON A PROJECT TOGETHER 444 00:32:14,134 --> 00:32:17,470 YES, WE DID Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO BRING IT UP. 445 00:32:17,470 --> 00:32:20,640 YES, WE DID IT WAS ON QUIBI. IT WAS CALLED "DUMMY." 446 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,175 SHE PLAYED A WOMAN THAT COULD TALK TO HER BOYFRIEND'S SEX DOLL 447 00:32:22,175 --> 00:32:25,145 IT WAS INCREDIBLE. I, OF COURSE, I THINK YOU CAN TELL, I PLAYED THE SEX DOLL 448 00:32:25,145 --> 00:32:31,351 REPAIR MAN IN THAT [ LAUGHTER ] AND WHAT HAPPENS IS THE SHOW 449 00:32:31,351 --> 00:32:36,156 DIDN'T GET CANCELLED, THE WHOLE PLATFORM GOT CANCELLED, THE WHOLE NETWORK. 450 00:32:36,156 --> 00:32:40,093 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S A FIRST. BUT APPARENTLY ANNA'S BEEN 451 00:32:40,093 --> 00:32:43,930 ABLE TO BOUNCE BACK PRETTY NICELY [ LAUGHTER ] 452 00:32:43,930 --> 00:32:48,835 Jimmy: I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR CREDITS ONLINE YEAH. 453 00:32:48,835 --> 00:32:51,571 Jimmy: YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE OVER 100 CREDITS IN MOVIES WHAT DO YOU GET RECOGNIZED THE 454 00:32:51,571 --> 00:32:55,208 MOST FOR WELL, PROBABLY, MAYBE "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM," BUT I ALSO 455 00:32:55,208 --> 00:33:00,213 THERE'S THIS THING WHERE I AM IN LIKE A LOT OF MOVIES, BUT JUST IN ONE SCENE. 456 00:33:00,213 --> 00:33:05,785 LIKE, IN "LEGALLY BLONDE" I'M PART OF THE HARVARD BOARD THAT LETS ELLE WOODS INTO COLLEGE 457 00:33:05,785 --> 00:33:10,690 PIVOTAL PART OF THAT MOVIE, VERY IMPORTANT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 458 00:33:10,690 --> 00:33:14,694 I'M ALSO THE BLIND GUY IN "STEPBROTHERS. I'M IN ONE SCENE IN A MOVIE, 459 00:33:14,694 --> 00:33:20,200 AND THEN GONE. YOU NEVER SEE ME AGAIN I CALL IT THE FEDERMAN AND OUT 460 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,237 I'M JUST IN AND THEN - [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: FEDERMAN AND OUT 461 00:33:24,237 --> 00:33:26,072 I THINK IT IS BECAUSE MY ACTING IS SO PRECISE, AND EFFERVESCENT THAT IT WOULD JUST 462 00:33:26,072 --> 00:33:31,077 RUIN THE NARRATIVE ARC OF ANY MOVIE SO - Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT 463 00:33:31,077 --> 00:33:36,282 YOUR BOOK, "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP." YES 464 00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:38,251 Jimmy: I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS, BUDDY. IT IS A FANTASTIC BOOK 465 00:33:38,251 --> 00:33:42,722 IT'S A GREAT READ. IT'S FUNNY BUT I LOVE THAT YOU DID THIS 466 00:33:42,722 --> 00:33:46,092 I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF JEALOUS THAT YOU DID THIS. I DON'T HAVE THE BRAIN TO DO 467 00:33:46,092 --> 00:33:50,497 THIS, BECAUSE I LOVE EVERY STORY IN HERE. THANK YOU SO -- THANK YOU SO 468 00:33:50,497 --> 00:33:54,634 MUCH IT WAS A GREAT THRILL TO PUT IT TOGETHER 469 00:33:54,634 --> 00:33:57,804 AGAIN, I HAVE ONLY DONE STAND-UP, SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE SHOW AS AN AUTHOR. 470 00:33:57,804 --> 00:34:00,874 SO I WILL JUST START RIGHT HERE CHAPTER ONE. 471 00:34:00,874 --> 00:34:04,577 "WHO IS THE FIRST COMEDIAN?" Jimmy: NO, NO, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, 472 00:34:04,577 --> 00:34:07,881 WAYNE, THAT'S NOT HOW THIS -- YOU DON'T READ THE BOOK ON THE SHOW 473 00:34:07,881 --> 00:34:10,884 THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT. OH. Jimmy: WE TALK ABOUT THE 474 00:34:10,884 --> 00:34:12,352 BOOK YOU WANT ME TO GO TO THE ENDING 475 00:34:12,352 --> 00:34:15,088 DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU HOW IT ENS Jimmy: NO, NO THANK YOU 476 00:34:15,088 --> 00:34:17,257 I APPRECIATE IT. NO SPOILERS. IT'S "THE EVOLUTION OF STAND-UP 477 00:34:17,257 --> 00:34:20,860 COMEDY." I KNOW. AND THERE WAS PEOPLE DOING 478 00:34:20,860 --> 00:34:25,131 STAND-UP BEFORE THE TERM STAND-UP EVEN EXISTED. SO IT'S REALLY INTERESTING 479 00:34:25,131 --> 00:34:29,169 LIKE, MARK TWAIN AND THERE'S A A GUY CALLED ARTEMUS WARD. AND I GO THROUGH EVERY ERA 480 00:34:29,169 --> 00:34:32,672 Jimmy: I NEVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 481 00:34:32,672 --> 00:34:34,474 SO THE TERM STAND-UP CAME ABOUT IN 1947, BUT, LIKE, BOB HOPE WAS DOING STAND-UP, YOU KNOW, 482 00:34:34,474 --> 00:34:38,812 IN THE '30s AND THE '20s AND STUFF. SO IT'S REALLY INTERESTING 483 00:34:38,812 --> 00:34:40,647 SO WE COVER ALL OF THE WHOLE THING RIGHT UP THROUGH, YOU KNOW, THE COMEDY BOOM, WHEN YOU 484 00:34:40,647 --> 00:34:53,660 JOINED IN IN THE 90s WHEN DID YOU START, JIMMY? Jimmy: YEAH, IT PROBABLY WAS 485 00:34:53,660 --> 00:34:56,296 '90s YEAH 90 -- IN THE '90s, YEAH 486 00:34:56,296 --> 00:34:58,698 SO YOU WERE PROBABLY AT THE COMEDY CLUB. SO WE COVER RIGHT THE WHOLE -- 487 00:34:58,698 --> 00:35:04,371 RIGHT THROUGH THE PANDEMIC WE DO THE GREATS, YOU KNOW, PRYOR, AND MOMS MABLEY 488 00:35:04,371 --> 00:35:06,206 AND THEN WE DO SOME, LIKE, WALLY BOAG AND L.C. JANET, SOME PEOPLE YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN 489 00:35:06,206 --> 00:35:09,442 ABOUT. AND YOU KNOW, I'M ALWAYS -- A LOT OF IT THERE'S A LOT OF 490 00:35:09,442 --> 00:35:14,681 GEORGE CARLIN IN THIS. IT'S FUN TO THINK ABOUT CARLIN AS A YOUNG COMIC, AND THEN 491 00:35:14,681 --> 00:35:16,082 BECAME THIS LEGEND AND THIS STORY KEEPS GOING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 492 00:35:16,082 --> 00:35:25,692 AND NOW THERE'S NEW INCREDIBLE COMEDIANS. SO, THAT'S WHAT THE STORY IS 493 00:35:25,692 --> 00:35:27,894 Jimmy: WAYNE, BEFORE I GIVE YOU OUR OUTRO HERE, I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE ONE OF 494 00:35:27,894 --> 00:35:29,696 MY FAVORITE COMEDIANS THAT I'VE EVER SEEN, EVER. AND I'M JUST SO HONORED, AND LUCKY THAT I 495 00:35:29,696 --> 00:35:31,164 GOT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU AND WORK WITH YOU. I REALLY AM A GIANT FAN OF 496 00:35:31,164 --> 00:35:40,573 YOURS, DUDE. THANK YOU THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 497 00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:44,077 I LOVE THE WAY THE AUDIENCE BURST INTO SPONTANEOUS APPLAUSE WHEN YOU SAID THAT 498 00:35:44,077 --> 00:35:48,081 THAT WAS -- THAT FELT GOOD [ APPLAUSE ] YEAH, NO, NO, THIS HAS BEEN 499 00:35:48,081 --> 00:35:55,522 A BLAST. THE ONE THING I REALLY WISH I WAS IN STUDIO FOR, JIMMY, IS 500 00:35:55,522 --> 00:35:57,290 JUST THE VERY, YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT WHEN YOU THROW, LIKE, THE HOST THROWS TO THE 501 00:35:57,290 --> 00:36:04,197 COMMERCIAL - Jimmy: YEAH -- AND THEN LEANS OVER TO 502 00:36:04,197 --> 00:36:07,667 THE GUEST, AND DOES LIKE A A LITTLE INTIMATE CONVERSATION, AND THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T KNOW. 503 00:36:07,667 --> 00:36:10,837 NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY SAY I WISH WE COULD HAVE DONE THAT, BUT WE CAN'T 504 00:36:10,837 --> 00:36:15,742 BUT, ANYWAY, THANKS AGAIN FOR HAVING ME ON THE SHOW. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT 505 00:36:15,742 --> 00:36:21,881 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I THINK WE CAN TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING WORK OUT. 506 00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:25,518 WAYNE FEDERMAN, EVERYBODY. "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP" IS OUT NOW. 507 00:36:25,518 --> 00:36:29,322 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM MASKED WOLF COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY! 508 00:36:29,322 --> 00:36:49,943 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: MAKING HIS TV DEBUT 509 00:36:49,943 --> 00:36:54,981 PERFORMING HIS GLOBAL HIT "ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN," HERE IS MASKED WOLF 510 00:36:54,981 --> 00:37:11,564 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE * * ASTRONAUT * 511 00:37:11,564 --> 00:37:15,935 * WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM 512 00:37:15,935 --> 00:37:19,072 YOU CAN CALL * * THAT MENTAL FREEZ WHEN THESE PEOPL 513 00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:22,509 TALK TOO MUC PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION * * YEAH I FEEL LIKE AN 514 00:37:22,509 --> 00:37:27,313 ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN AYY WHAT YOU KNOW ABOU ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP * 515 00:37:27,313 --> 00:37:30,617 * WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUMB YOU CAN CALL THAT MENTAL FREEZE 516 00:37:30,617 --> 00:37:34,087 WHEN THESE PEOPLE * * TALK TOO MUCH PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION YEAH 517 00:37:34,087 --> 00:37:38,491 I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN * * SHE SAY THAT I'M COOL 518 00:37:38,491 --> 00:37:43,496 I'M LIKE YEAH THAT'S TRU I BELIEVE IN G-O-D DON'T BELIEVE IN T-H-O-T * 519 00:37:43,496 --> 00:37:47,967 * SHE KEEP PLAYING ME DUM I'MA PLAY HER FOR FU Y'ALL DON'T REALLY 520 00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:50,270 KNOW MY MENTAL * * LEMME GIVE YO THE PICTURE LIKE STENCIL 521 00:37:50,270 --> 00:37:52,472 FALLING OU IN A DROUGHT * * NO FLOW RAIN WASN'T 522 00:37:52,472 --> 00:37:55,408 POURING DOWN SEE THAT PAIN WAS ALL AROUND SEE MY MODE WAS * 523 00:37:55,408 --> 00:37:58,144 * KINDA LOUNGED DIDN'T KNOW WHIC WHICH WAY TO TUR 524 00:37:58,144 --> 00:38:00,780 FLOW WAS COOL BUT * * I STILL FELT BURN ENERGY UP YOU CA 525 00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:03,016 FEEL MY SURG I'MA KILL EVERYTHING * * LIKE THIS PURGE 526 00:38:03,016 --> 00:38:06,019 LET'S JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT FOR A SECOND I'MA WORK EVEN IF I DON'T GET PAID * 527 00:38:06,019 --> 00:38:09,622 * FOR PROGRESSION I'MA GET I EVERYTHING THA 528 00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:13,026 I DO IS ELECTRIC * * I'MA KEEP IT IN A MOTIO KEEP IT MOVING 529 00:38:13,026 --> 00:38:16,730 LIKE KINETIC AYY PUT THIS IN A FRAME * * BETTER KNOW I DON'T BLAME 530 00:38:16,730 --> 00:38:19,599 EVERYTHING THAT I SA MAN I SEEN YOU DEFLATE LET ME ELEVATE * 531 00:38:19,599 --> 00:38:22,035 * THIS AIN'T A PRAN HAVE YOU WALKIN' ON A PLAN LA-LA-LA-LA-LA LIK 532 00:38:22,035 --> 00:38:25,238 BOTH HANDS TOGETHER GOD * * LET ME PRAY I'VE BEEN GOING RIGH 533 00:38:25,238 --> 00:38:28,408 RIGHT AROUND CALL THAT RELAY * * PASS THE BATO 534 00:38:28,408 --> 00:38:31,177 BACK AND I'M O SWIMMING IN THE POOL KENDRICK LAMAR UH * 535 00:38:31,177 --> 00:38:33,680 * WANT A PIECE OF THI A PIECE OF MIN MY PEACE A SIG 536 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,082 CAN YOU PLEASE READ * * BETWEEN THE LINES MY RHYME'S INCLINE 537 00:38:36,082 --> 00:38:38,385 TO BREAK YOUR SPIN THEY SAY THAT I'M SO FINE * * YOU COULD NEVER 538 00:38:38,385 --> 00:38:40,887 MATCH MY GRIND PLEASE DO NO NOT WASTE MY TIME * 539 00:38:40,887 --> 00:38:44,491 * WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM 540 00:38:44,491 --> 00:38:47,894 YOU CAN CALL * * THAT MENTAL FREEZ WHEN THESE PEOPL 541 00:38:47,894 --> 00:38:51,498 TALK TOO MUC PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION * * I FEEL LIKE A 542 00:38:51,498 --> 00:38:56,069 ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN AYY WHAT YOU KNOW ABOU ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP * 543 00:38:56,069 --> 00:39:00,140 * WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUMB YOU CAN CALL THAT MENTAL FREEZE 544 00:39:00,140 --> 00:39:03,276 WHEN THESE PEOPLE * * TALK TOO MUCH PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION YEAH 545 00:39:03,276 --> 00:39:12,919 I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN * * 546 00:39:12,919 --> 00:39:19,793 * ASTRO * * * ASTRO * 547 00:39:19,793 --> 00:39:35,442 * * WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP 548 00:39:35,442 --> 00:39:38,545 WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM YOU CAN CALL * * THAT MENTAL FREEZ 549 00:39:38,545 --> 00:39:41,448 WHEN THESE PEOPL TALK TOO MUC PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION * 550 00:39:41,448 --> 00:39:45,151 * YEAH I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN AYY WHAT YOU KNOW ABOU 551 00:39:45,151 --> 00:39:49,856 ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP * * WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUMB YOU CAN CALL 552 00:39:49,856 --> 00:39:52,826 THAT MENTAL FREEZE WHEN THESE PEOPLE * * TALK TOO MUCH 553 00:39:52,826 --> 00:39:58,598 PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION YEAH YEAH I FEEL LIKE A ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN * 554 00:39:58,598 --> 00:40:03,069 [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: JOIN US NEXT WEEK. MICHAEL B. JORDAN, MICHAEL CHE, 555 00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:10,310 KATE UPTON WILL BE HERE. MY THANKS TO ANNA KENDRICK, WAYNE FEDERMAN, MASKED WOLF. 556 00:40:10,310 --> 00:40:15,015 AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 557 00:40:15,015 --> 00:40:15,015 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT" WITH SETH MEYERS