Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ANNA KENDRICK, WAYNE FEDERMAN,
MUSICAL GUEST "MASKED WOLF" AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW
Questlove: 1448 Steve: AND NOW HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
* * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: OH, THAT WAS WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT THERE -- THAT'S AN AUDIENCE RIGHT THERE
WELCOME. WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME.
PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME. THANK YOU.
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," LADIES AND GENTLEMEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE [ CHEERS ]
YEAH LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS HERE. WELL, WE'VE ALL GOTTEN USED TO
WEARING MASKS WHEREVER WE GO, BUT I JUST READ THAT THE CDC IS LOOKING INTO WHETHER IT'S STILL
NECESSARY TO WEAR THEM OUTDOORS Steve: OH
Jimmy: THAT'S ALL THIS COUNTRY NEEDS RIGHT NOW. TREVOR THE BARTENDER FROM SENOR
FROG'S TO HAVE BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG. IT'S LIKE --
[ LAUGHTER ] "I TOLD YOU, BRO!" [ LAUGHTER ]
I GUESS THIS IS GOOD, ALTHOUGH I WAS KIND OF LOOKING FORWARD TO ANOTHER SUMMER WITH
BIKINI LINES ON MY FACE. YOU KNOW Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HONESTLY, IT WOULD BE NICE TO GET BACK TO WHEN A
A MASKED MAN OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE WAS JUST A SERIAL KILLER, YOU KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] WELL, GUYS, IT'S A BIG WEEKEND FOR HOLLYWOOD.
THE 93rd ANNUAL OSCARS ARE THIS SUNDAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH OF COURSE, IN QUARANTINE, EVEN THE OSCAR STATUE GAINED WEIGHT
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY UNIQUE YEAR FOR THE OSCARS
THERE'S NO HOST, NO AFTER PARTY AND NO MOVIES ANYONE SAW [ LAUGHTER ]
YEP, THIS YEAR'S OSCARS ARE ABOUT CELEBRATING ALL OF THE MOVIES WE SCROLLED THROUGH AND
THOUGHT, "20 BUCKS NOPE." [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT, THIS IS INTERESTING, THE ACADEMY ANNOUNCED THAT MASKS ARE NOT REQUIRED WHILE CAMERAS
ARE ROLLING BUT SHOULD BE WORN DURING COMMERCIAL BREAKS THAT MAKES SENSE
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IF WE'VE LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT THE VIRUS, IT -- IT ONLY
SPREADS DURING COMMERCIALS [ LAUGHTER ] AND SPEAKING OF MOVIES, TODAY,
"MORTAL KOMBAT" WAS RELEASED IN THEATERS AND ON HBO MAX. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW "MORTAL
KOMBAT" YET, BUT I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY, I JUST HOPE IT LIVES UP TO THE
PLAY [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
NETFLIX IS REPORTEDLY NEARING A DEAL ON AN UPCOMING BIOPIC ABOUT THE BAND "KISS," CALLED
"SHOUT IT OUT LOUD." YEAH, IT'S PRETTY EXCITING NEWS
Steve: YEAH JIMMY, SO EXCITING Jimmy: HIGGINS, I DIDN'T
REALIZE YOU WERE SUCH A BIG "KISS" FAN Steve: WHAT
NO, NO, NO, I JUST LOVE BIOPICS. Jimmy: I SEE.
DID YOU KNOW IN ADVANCE THAT I'D BE TALKING ABOUT A "KISS" BIOPIC TODAY
Steve: NO JUST TOOK A CHANCE I WEAR KISS MAKEUP TO WORK
ABOUT HALF THE TIME. Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT DURING THE
SHOW Steve: UGH! FINE
YOU NEVER SUPPORT ME ANYWAY. Jimmy: OH, COME ON. THANKS, BUDDY.
I APPRECIATE IT. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ME.
I'M SORRY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH
GET THIS STARTED ON MAY 1st, TOPLESS CLUBS IN LAS VEGAS ARE
OFFICIALLY ALLOWED TO REOPEN [ CHEERS ] Steve: WHEW
Jimmy: JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY YOU KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] IF YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT TOPLESS CLUBS REOPENING, I'M ASSUMING
IT WAS A LONG QUARANTINE LISTEN TO THIS NATHAN'S IS OFFERING FIVE-CENT
HOTDOGS AT CONEY ISLAND THIS SUMMER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 100 YEARS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CUSTOMERS WERE LIKE, "I'D ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER IF YOU
CHARGE MORE. [ LAUGHTER ] FIVE-CENT HOTDOGS?
I'D RATHER GET FIVE-CENT LASIK EYE SURGERY. EATING A FIVE-CENT HOTDOG IS AS
SAFE AS TAKING HOME A MATTRESS ON THE STREET THAT SAYS "FREE. [ LAUGHTER ]
"SEEMS LIKE A GOOD DEAL. LET'S TAKE IT BACK TO THE HOUSE.
Jimmy: OH, I SAW THE -- MARTHA STEWART JUST ANNOUNCED THE RELEASE OF HER 99th
COOKBOOK 99 AT THIS POINT THE RECIPES ARE
JUST, "I DON'T KNOW, BOLOGNA ON AN OREO? LEAVE ME ALONE."
Steve: WOW. Jimmy: IT SAYS "LEAVE ME ALONE" IN THE BOOK
Steve: THAT'S VERY RUDE FOR A COOKBOOK Jimmy: SHE WOULD NEVER.
DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS AN EXPLOSION AT A GENDER REVEAL PARTY -- OH, MY GOSH -- IN
NEW HAMPSHIRE WAS SO POWERFUL THAT IT DAMAGED NEARBY HOMES AND WAS FELT IN OTHER STATES
Tariq: WHAT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE GENDER REVEAL PARTIES
Jimmy: AFTER THE EXPLOSION, EVERYONE WAS LIKE, "IT'S A A LAWSUIT.
[ LAUGHTER ] WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE THINGS
Tariq: IT'S CRAZY Jimmy: YEAH, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO REVEAL THE GENDER
OF THE BABY, NOT THE IQ OF THE PARENTS. [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, THIS MADE ME LAUGH A MAN IN TAIWAN IS MAKING NEWS FOR FINDING AN INTERESTING WAY
TO GET SOME EXTRA TIME OFF FROM WORK LISTEN TO THIS STORY
A CREATIVE WAY TO GET AN EXTENDED VACATION FROM WORK. HE INITIALLY GOT MARRIED LAST
APRIL. HE WAS GIVEN EIGHT DAYS OFF. AT THE END OF HIS LEAVE, HE
DIVORCED HIS WIFE AND PLANNED TO REMARRY HER THE NEXT DAY. AND HE DID THIS WHOLE PROCESS,
NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES. Jimmy: WOW.
WOW! YEAH, HIS BOSS KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HE GOT A LETTER
THAT SAID, "SAVE THE DATE, APRIL 6th, 17th AND 29th." [ LAUGHTER ]
AND FINALLY, A WOMAN HERE IN NEW YORK CITY CAME HOME TO HER APARTMENT AND FOUND AN
UNEXPECTED VISITOR WATCH THIS
*
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] Jimmy: WOW. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
NEW YORK CITY PIGEONS LAID EGGS [ LAUGHTER ]
I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST RATS THAT EARNED THEIR WINGS. [ LAUGHTER ]
DON'T WORRY THOUGH, THE PIGEON'S GONE. AND THIS NO RELATION AT ALL, I
JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE ABOUT NATHAN'S FIVE-CENT HOTDOGS THIS SUMMER ON
CONEY ISLAND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAPPY SUMMER, EVERYBODY.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
SHE STARS IN THE NETFLIX MOVIE "STOWAWAY," ANNA KENDRICK IS HERE
Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: PLUS, HIS NEW BOOK --
ONE OF THE FUNNIEST GUYS I HAVE EVER MET -- "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP: FROM MARK TWAIN TO
DAVE CHAPPELLE," IS AVAILABLE NOW. WAYNE FEDERMAN IS ON THE SHOW.
Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: LOVE WAYNE FEDERMAN.
AND HIS SONG "ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN" HAS HIT NUMBER ONE IN SIX COUNTRIES.
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM "MASKED WOLF!" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ALL THAT, PLUS WE'LL BE DOING AN ALL-NEW THANK YOU NOTES LATER IN THE SHOW.
BUT, FIRST, GUYS, I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO FIND MATH BORING YEAH
WELL, WE'VE UPDATED MATH TO MAKE THE EQUATIONS MORE ABOUT STUFF YOU CAN RELATE TO.
IT'S TIME FOR POPULAR MATHEMATICS.
*
Steve: SUCH A GOOD SONG Jimmy: THAT'S SUCH A CATCHY TUNE
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR FIRST EQUATION HERE. IF YOU TAKE A PAIR OF CROCS,
PLUS GETTING TOO CLOSE TO A CAMPFIRE, IT EQUALS YEEZY'S. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ] SO, YEAH THAT'S HOW IT WORKS Steve: I SEE IT'S -
Jimmy: NEXT UP, IF YOU TAKE MMA PLUS COVID SAFETY, IT EQUALS "MORTAL KOMBAT.
Steve: OH [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I CAN EVEN -- I FEEL
MYSELF GETTING SMARTER AS I'M DOING THESE EQUATIONS. Steve: YOU CAN VISUALIZE
THEM TOO Jimmy: YES. IF YOU TAKE DR. FAUCI --
Steve: YEP. Jimmy: PLUS 20 DECIBELS, PLUS RUBBING A BALLOON ON YOUR
HEAD, IT EQUALS BERNIE SANDERS [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
MATH IS FUN AGAIN. Steve: IT'S FUN Jimmy: MATH IS FUN AGAIN AND
"THE TONIGHT SHOW" HELPED MAKE IT THAT WAY. HERE'S ANOTHER ONE
IF YOU TAKE THREE NASCAR RACES, PLUS THREE "RAMBO" SEQUELS, PLUS THREE TONS OF TNT, MINUS
HAIR, IT EQUALS "FAST AND FURIOUS 9. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Steve: THAT'S TRUE. Jimmy: HERE IS ANOTHER ONE. DARK RED
Steve: YEAH Jimmy: PLUS THE PRESIDENT Steve: MM-HH.
Jimmy: PLUS "MMMBOP," EQUALS SCARLETT JOHANSSON [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Steve: THAT'S A THINKER THAT'S A THINKER Jimmy: SOMEBODY JUST WALKED
OUT. Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? Jimmy: YEAH
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER Steve: AND SAID THAT'S IT Jimmy: THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT. THEY STOOD UP, AND THEY WALKED OUT.
"THAT'S IT, I CAN TAKE NO MORE!" Steve: "THAT IS NOT MY KIND
OF HUMOR." Jimmy: "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
Steve: SCARLETT JOHANSSON Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
Steve: "I DIDN'T PAY MONEY FOR THIS." Jimmy: I SHOULD AUDITION FOR
THE NEW "DOWNTON ABBEY" MOVIE. Steve: YOU SHOULD IT'S COMING OUT.
Jimmy: RIGHT? Steve: THEY'RE SHOOTING IT, YEAH
Jimmy: THEY'RE FILMING IT NOW. Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: I JUST WANT TO COME IN AND SAY, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
Steve: AND THEN WALK OUT WITH GLOVES IN YOUR -- Jimmy: AND THEN -- WELL, I
SHOULD HAVE GLOVES IN MY HAND, OR I SHOULD BE WEARING GLOVES. Steve: RIGHT.
Jimmy: AND THEN SOMEONE INSULTS ME Steve: RIGHT.
Jimmy: AND I GO, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. AND THEN THEY'RE LEAVING AND
THEY INSULT ME AGAIN AND I GO, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.
AND THEN THEY INSULT ME ONE MORE TIME AND BELITTLE ME. Steve: RIGHT.
RIGHT. Jimmy: I GO, "GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!"
[ LAUGHTER ] [ SLAP ] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Steve: AND THEN YOU PUT THE GLOVE BACK ON. Jimmy: YEAH
Steve: THAT'S A CLASS MOVE. THAT'S A CLASS MOVE. OH, YOU BUTTON IT.
OH, MY GOD THAT GLOVE HAS BUTTONS OH WAIT, A ZIPPER.
IT'S A ZIPPER GLOVE WITH BUTTONS. OH, AND IT'S FOLD OVER
OH, MY GOD IT'S GOT VELCRO. OH, AND A CRANK AND A CRANK AND
A CRANK. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "GOOD DAY TO YOU,
SIR! Steve: OUT! Jimmy: THAT'S ANOTHER GOOD
ONE. "OUT!" Jimmy: "OUT."
"I'LL GIVE YOU THREE DIFFERENT -- Steve: YEAH, YOU GET THREE
DIFFERENT THINGS ON EVERYTHING THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH A A GREAT ACTOR.
Jimmy: THANK YOU, MAN, APPRECIATE IT! Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: "OUT." Steve: NOW YOU'RE SCARED. DO YOU'RE SCARED
Jimmy: "OUT!" Steve: NOW YOU'RE ANGRY Jimmy: "OUT!"
Steve: NOW YOU'RE TREPIDATION -- YOU HAVE TREPIDATION -- YOU'RE
TREPIDATIOUS Jimmy: "OUT?" [ LAUGHTER ]
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE HERE. HARRY STYLES Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: PLUS A CERAMICS WHEEL, EQUALS HARRY POTTER Steve: OH
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: SEE, YOU UNDERSTAND? Steve: YEAH, THAT'S
MATHEMATICS. POPULAR. [ APPLAUSE ]
Jimmy: UP NEXT, IF YOU TAKE TED DANSON Steve: TED DANSON
Jimmy: PLUS TOM SELLECK Steve: MM-HH. Jimmy: PLUS
STEVE GUTTENBERG, PLUS DA BABY, EQUALS THREE MEN AND DA BABY [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: THEY SHOULD MAKE THAT Steve: COME ON!
Jimmy: THEY SHOULD MAKE THAT Steve: COME ON.
Jimmy: STARTING FILMING TOMORROW Steve: YEAH
"THREE MEN AND DA BABY." Jimmy: "THREE MEN AND DA BABY."
FINALLY, IF YOU TAKE GETTING A A VACCINE, PLUS THE ROCK, PLUS NASH BRIDGES, PLUS THE PRIME
MINISTER OF THE U.K., IT EQUALS JOHNSON AND JOHNSON AND JOHNSON AND JOHNSON AND JOHNSON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S ALL OF THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "POPULAR MATHEMATICS."
STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE BACK WITH "THANK YOU NOTES," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TODAY IS FRIDAY AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP WITH
PERSONAL STUFF YOU KNOW, I CHECK MY INBOX, I RETURN SOME E-MAILS.
AND, OF COURSE, I SEND OUT THANK YOU NOTES. BUT I WAS --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WAS RUNNING A BIT BEHIND TODAY, SO I THOUGHT IF YOU GUYS
WOULDN'T MIND I'D LIKE TO WRITE OUT MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTES RIGHT NOW.
IS THAT COOL WITH YOU GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I APPRECIATE IT.
JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE *
[ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, THIS YEAR'S OSCARS SET, FOR LOOKING LIKE YOU WERE
FILMED IN IKEA'S OUTDOOR FURNITURE SECTION. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S REAL. Steve: IKEA - *
Jimmy: THANK YOU, OSCAR NOMINATED MOVIES THAT WERE ONLY RELEASED ON STREAMING, OR AS
STRAIGHT TO DVD MOVIES PUT IT, "OH, SO NOW THIS IS A CELEBRATED THING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "OKAY. OKAY."
Steve: WOW. Jimmy: "SO, NOW THAT'S A CELEBRATED THING
OKAY." [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: THE RULES GOT
CHANGED. Jimmy: "OKAY. WE'RE DOING THAT NOW, I GUESS.
OKAY." [ LAUGHTER ] *
THANK YOU, AIR TAG, FOR BEING THE NAME OF APPLE'S NEW DEVICE TRACKER, AS WELL AS A GREAT
GAME IDEA FOR AN ONLY CHILD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "BILLY, GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY AIR
TAG! "YOU'RE IT, AIR. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
"OKAY. WE'RE DOING THAT NOW [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
OKAY OKAY." Steve: DOES NOT LIKE IT
Jimmy: "OH, WE'RE DOING THAT NOW? OKAY."
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE OVERREACTING. Steve: "OH, NO.
Jimmy: "YEAH, WE'RE DOING THAT NOW, I GUESS. OKAY."
* THANK YOU, STOUFFER'S NEW LASAGNA MAC, FOR BEING THE
TASTIEST WAY TO LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU ARE GOING THROUGH STUFF RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] "JUST GET OFF MY BACK.
LOOKS PRETTY GOOD TO ME, MAN DO YOU THINK YOU'D TASTE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE CHEESE
AND SAUCE, THEN THE MAC -- THE CHEDDAR CHEESE Steve: YOU MEAN THE MAC
CHEESE IT'S LASAGNA MAC, SO IT'S MADE WITH MACARONI AND CHEESE BUT
LASAGNA STYLE. Jimmy: IT'S LASAGNA BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LASAGNA IS -
Steve: MACARONI AND CHEESE. Jimmy: MACARONI AND CHEESE. Steve: YEAH, I THINK I COULD
TELL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I HAVE A FOOD PROBLEM, SO I'M
SURE I COULD TELL. Jimmy: YOU HAVE WHAT? Steve: A FOOD PROBLEM
I LOVE FOOD. Jimmy: A FOOD PROBLEM Steve: YEAH,.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] A PROBLEM WITH FOOD. Jimmy: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM
Steve: I'M ON A SEAFOOD DIET Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
Steve: YEAH Jimmy: YOU SEE FOOD, YOU EAT IT, RIGHT?
Steve: NO, NO, NO FISH, SHELLFISH. [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: OH Steve: YOU KNOW CLAMS - Jimmy: OH, I UNDERSTAND
I'M SORRY. I MISUNDERSTOOD. Steve: YEAH, NO
Jimmy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING A - Steve: OH, YOU THOUGHT I
SAID S-E-E DIET. NO Jimmy: "WELL, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE, PERHAPS, DOING --" Steve: "A COMICAL BIT?" Jimmy: "SOME HUMOR.
Steve: "NO. I WAS MERELY TELLING YOU A FACT ABOUT MY DIETARY MEANS."
Jimmy: "UNDERSTOOD. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ON A SEAFOOD DIET."
Steve: "I DID." Jimmy: "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FINISH IT UP WITH, 'I SEE
FOOD, I EAT IT.' BUT, INSTEAD --" Steve: "NO, NO, NO.
Jimmy: "YOU ARE ON A SEAFOOD DIET BECAUSE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SHRIMP, TROUT, MAYBE, SEA
BASS." Steve: "YES." Jimmy: "MAYBE A THICK SEA
BASS." Steve: "THICK A THICK CHUNK OF SEA BASS.
Jimmy: "YES, ALMOST LIKE A -- Steve: "WITH CHILI MAC OVER
IT." Jimmy: "YES OR SOME OF THE WHOLE FISH UNDER
SALT." Steve: "BAKED IN SALT." Jimmy: "BRANZINO, FOR TWO."
Steve: "DO IT, BRANZINI." Jimmy: "DO IT, BRANZINI." [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: "CAN YOU SMOTHER THAT WITH SOME STOUFFER'S LASAGNA MAC?
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: "CAN YOU TAKE THIS FISH AND JUST COMPLETELY RUIN
IT BY PUTTING MICROWAVE PASTA ON TOP, BUT THEN --" I THINK IT'S -- I THINK IT'S A
A MISTAKE. I THINK THE LASAGNA'S ONE THING.
Steve: YEAH Jimmy: AND I'M DOWN FOR STOUFFER'S
I'M A FRENCH -- FRENCH BREAD PIZZA DUDE I LOVE THOSE
Steve: SURE YEAH, I'M ALL FOR THAT Jimmy: LASAGNA?
SURE GET IT MAC AND CHEESE, SURE
Steve: TOGETHER GOOD Jimmy: NO, I THINK IT'S A
A MISTAKE. IT'S THE SAME -- IT'S GONNA DESTROY THE FLAVORS.
IT'S -- NO Steve: YOU THINK IT MIGHT EVEN TAKE DOWN LASAGNA
Jimmy: YEAH, I THINK IT MIGHT TAKE IT OUT. TAKE IT DOWN
Steve: SO - Jimmy: THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT IN -- IN NAPLES, IN NAPOLI
Steve: OH, THEY'D BE SO MAD Jimmy: YEAH THEY'D BE LIKE, "HONEY,
BRAZINI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING [ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Steve: STOUFFER'S [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S A WEIRD AD. Jimmy: ODD. [ APPLAUSE ]
THAT WAS A COMMERCIAL FOR STOUFFER'S Steve: YEAH, THAT WAS A
A COMMERCIAL FOR STOUFFER'S. Jimmy: PEOPLE IN ITALY ARGUING?
Steve: YEAH, THEY'RE ARGUING ABOUT HOW -- Jimmy: THEY WOKE THE GRANDMA
UP Steve: YEAH, THEY WOKE GRANDMA UP OUT OF BED.
ARE WE ON POPULAR MATHEMATICS? Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? YEAH, NO, NO, WE'RE DOING
A DIFFERENT BIT. "THANK YOU NOTES." Steve: OH, SORRY.
I ZONED OUT FOR A SECOND Jimmy: NO PROBLEM, BUD. *
THANK YOU, GIANT EXPLOSIONS, FOR MEANING ONE OF THREE THINGS, A FIRE, A GAS LEAK OR
A GENDER REVEAL GONE WRONG YEAH, THAT'S - [ APPLAUSE ]
TOO REAL * THANK YOU, NATTY LIGHTS NEW
FROZEN ICICLES, FOR NOT GOING BY YOUR ORIGINAL NAME, GOGURT FOR DRUNKS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: NATTY LIGHT. Jimmy: NATTY LIGHT.
Steve: OH Jimmy: YEAH, THAT MAKES -- THAT MAKES ANYONE -- YOU CALL
NATURAL LIGHT NATTY LIGHT? Steve: THAT JUST SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.
HOW MANY STOUFFER'S MACS DO YOU GOT? OH
Jimmy: "THEY'RE EVEN BETTER NON-FROZEN." Steve: YOU'RE EATING THEM
FROZEN Jimmy: JUST BEER? "YEAH, BEER IN A TUBE.
THEY SHOULD PUT IT IN A CAN. THEN YOU CAN DRINK IT ALL DAY LONG."
* THANK YOU, WHITE NOISE MACHINES, FOR GETTING ME TO PAY
$80 WHEN I COULD HAVE JUST PUT A BUCKET OVER A FAN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WHITE NOISE MACHINE? Steve: YEAH [ WHITE NOISE
[ FART ] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [ FART ]
* [ FART ] Jimmy: DUDE
[ FART ] [ LAUGHTER ] OH, MY GOD
* THANK YOU, BAGGAGE CLAIM, FOR BEING AN AMUSEMENT PARK FOR MY
LUGGAGE. [ APPLAUSE ] BAGS HAVE SOME FUN, TOO.
LIKE, "OH. * THANK YOU, NECCO WAFERS, OR AS
I LIKE TO CALL YOU DESSERT TUMS THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY
THOSE ARE "THANK-YOU NOTES." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANNA KENDRICK!
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN OSCAR, EMMY, AND
TONY NOMINATED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE "STOWAWAY," WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON
NETFLIX. HERE IS ANNA KENDRICK! YES!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. HEY! ANNA, WELCOME.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING OUR SHOW AGAIN IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU
IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. THANKS FOR HAVING ME Jimmy: PLEASE
IT HAS BEEN PROBABLY, I THINK, JUST OVER A YEAR SINCE I TALKED TO YOU LAST.
YEAH, YEAH, I THINK I SAW YOU RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS WHOLE THING
Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR DOING THE SHOW THEN AND THANK YOU FOR DOING IT NOW
HOW HAVE YOU ADAPTED TO LIVING AT HOME? I DON'T THINK I HAVE ADAPTED
ANY BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE, BUT I MEAN I'M TRYING TO, LIKE, KEEP IT MOVING, KEEP BUSY.
I'M DOING LIKE MY COVID WORKOUT THING. LIKE I'M -
Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT I'M JUST LIKE WATCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF SOME LADY AND
LIKE TRYING TO FOLLOW ALONG, BUT, LIKE, BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO DO, I'VE
GOTTEN KIND OF REALLY INTO IT. AND I'M LIKE -- I'M LIKE, MAYBE I'M A HARD BODY.
MAYBE I'M -- Jimmy: WOW. LIKE HONEY, I'M AN ATHLETE.
Jimmy: REALLY IT OCCURRED TO ME RECENTLY THAT NORMALLY I WOULD BE DOING
THIS STUFF LIKE IN A CLASS FULL OF PEOPLE WITH THE FULL-LENGTH MIRRORS JUST TO REALLY
ILLUSTRATE HOW MUCH I AM NOT NAILING IT Jimmy: YEAH
BUT UNTIL THEN, LIKE, COME ON, SIMONE BILES, I'M COMING FOR YOU.
Jimmy: YOU'RE READY FOR THE OLYMPICS OH, MY BODY IS POETRY IN
MOTION OH, IT'S A GOOD THING THEY POSTPONED THE OLYMPICS, BECAUSE
I'M COMING Jimmy: WOW. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
LIKE THAT'S WHERE I'M AT. UNTIL THINGS GO BACK TO NORMAL AND I ACTUALLY SEE JUST HOW
TERRIBLE ALL OF THE FORM IS. UNTIL THEN I'M LIVING THIS FANTASY.
I LOVE IT. Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR NEW MOVIE,
"STOWAWAY. I'M EXCITED FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THIS
IT'S SET IN SPACE. YEAH. Jimmy: AND ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE
NEVER BEEN TO SPACE, YOUR NAME HAS GONE TO MARS CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS
THIS IS THE COOLEST STORY EVER OKAY. SO THIS IS -- THE DIRECTOR IS,
LIKE, REALLY INTO SPACE, AND BEFORE THE MOVIE CAME OUT HE -- HE GAVE ME -- HE ACTUALLY SENT
ME THIS THING WHERE HE WAS LIKE, "I GOT" -- IT WAS CRAZY. "I GOT YOUR NAME AND THE NAME
OF ALL OF THE CAST MEMBERS LIKE ENGRAVED ON THE MARS ROVER," AND I JUST WAS LIKE, "WAIT,
WHAT THIS CAN'T BE REAL HOLY CRAP.
SO I ENDED UP HAVING TO LIKE RESEARCH WHAT THIS WAS, AND IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE
IT IS LIKE, IT IS A LOVELY GIFT BUT, FIRST OF ALL, NOW I'M DOING RESEARCH, SO ALREADY I
DON'T LIKE THIS GIFT AS MUCH CAUSE IT'S HOMEWORK. [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: ANY GIFT THAT MAKES YOU DO RESEARCH. YOU'RE GIVING ME THE GIFT OF
HOMEWORK [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO WHAT IT IS, DO YOU GUYS
HAVE -- I THINK YOU HAVE LIKE A PHOTO. Jimmy: I DO
THIS IS THE MARS ROVER THIS IS LIKE -- THIS IS AMAZING TO ME.
THIS IS, OF COURSE, THE MARS ROVER. INCREDIBLE.
Jimmy: YES. AND NOW YOUR NAME IS SOMEHOW ON HERE
[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY. SO, THERE'S APPARENTLY -- THIS
IS WHAT THE ARTICLE SAID THAT I FOUND IN MY RESEARCH, WAS THERE ARE THREE FINGERNAIL-SIZE CHIPS
ON THIS LITTLE PLACARD ON THE MARS ROVER Jimmy: AND YOU ARE ONE OF
THE FINGERNAILS? I'M ONE OF THE FINGERNAILS, BUT 11 MILLION NAMES ARE ON
THESE FINGERNAIL-SIZED CHIPS YEAH, THERE IT IS. JUST THESE -
Jimmy: IN ONE OF THESE CHIPS -- IN ONE OF THESE IS MY NAME
ALONG WITH 11 MILLION OTHER NAMES. VERY COOL.
Jimmy: SO IT IS STILL -- TECHNICALLY YOUR NAME -- OH, TECHNICALLY MY NAME IS
IN SPACE, GUYS Jimmy: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
YOU ARE ON MARS AS WE SPEAK! YOU WERE TOLD, AND EVERYONE KNOWS THIS, DON'T EVER WORK
WITH ANIMALS, DON'T WORK WITH KIDS, AND SOMEONE -- YEAH.
Jimmy: -- TOLD YOU DON'T EVER DO A MOVIE IN SPACE OKAY, SO YEAH
SO THERE'S DON'T WORK WITH KIDS, DON'T WORK WITH ANIMALS. A PRODUCTION DESIGNER TOLD ME
TO ADD NEVER DO A MOVIE IN SPACE OR ON A SUBMARINE, BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT IS LIKE
JUST MISERABLE TO SHOOT BECAUSE IT'S SO CRAMPED. LIKE IT IS SUCH CLOSE QUARTERS
AND YOU HAVE TO GET LIKE THE CREW IN THERE AND THE CAMERA PEOPLE IN THERE.
AND SO WHEN THEY'RE DOING THESE TRACKING SHOTS WHERE THEY'RE WALKING IN FRONT OF ME, I'M
TRYING TO SIGNAL THE CAMERA GUY, LIKE, "YOU'RE GOING TO RUN INTO THE THING," AND IT IS JUST
VERY, LIKE, YOU KNOW Jimmy: RIGHT. THAT'S THE TRICKY THING.
IT IS VERY CLAUSTROPHOBIC Jimmy: THEY'RE GOING BACKWARDS AND THEY'RE LIKE
BANGING INTO - SO YEAH, TOUGH JOB YEAH.
YEAH, THIS IS WHERE I REALLY FOUND OUT I'M JUST, LIKE, A KLUTZ.
I'M CAPABLE OF BREAKING ANYTHING, NO MATTER THE SIZE Jimmy: NETFLIX WAS KIND
ENOUGH TO SEND US A FEW OF THESE MOMENTS OF YOURS SO HERE ARE A FEW OF ANNA'S
OUTTAKES FROM "STOWAWAY. TAKE A LOOK.
READY, AND ACTION
JESUS CHRIST! [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, CUT
OH, [ BLEEP ] I'M BREAKING THE SHIP. I BROKE THE SHIP
ABORT, ABORT! Jimmy: "BREAKING THE SHIP, BREAKING THE SHIP.
I'M BREAKING THE SHIP I'M BRAKING THE SHIP. Jimmy: IT IS LIKE, "ARE YOU OKAY?
THIS MOVIE IS AN INTENSE MOVIE, AN EDGE-OF-YOUR SEAT MOVIE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET IT UP FOR
EVERYONE WHAT IT'S ABOUT? YES, SO IT'S THREE
ASTRONAUTS ON A TWO-YEAR MISSION TO MARS, AND THEY HAVE ENOUGH RESOURCES FOR THREE
PEOPLE, AND ABOUT 12 HOURS INTO THE FLIGHT THAT THEY CANNOT TURN AROUND FROM, THEY DISCOVER
A STOWAWAY AND IT IS KIND OF THE QUESTIONS OF HOW DO WE ALL SURVIVE
TOGETHER AND WHAT DO WE DO IF THERE'S REALLY ONLY ENOUGH OXYGEN FOR THREE OF US
Jimmy: OH YES, IT IS VERY NAIL BITEY. Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW
EVERYONE A CLIP, HERE IS ANNA KENDRICK IN "STOWAWAY." TAKE A LOOK.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE FEELING FULL GRAVITY ON THE ROOF A LITTLE OVER 200 METERS TO THE
SOLAR PANELS, BUT THE HIGHER YOU GO, THE LESS GRAVITY YOU'LL FEEL
ROGER DO NOT TOUCH THE TETHER WITH THE CLAMPS THAT'S CARRYING THE
POWER DOWN FROM THE SOLAR PANELS LOUD AND CLEAR.
DON'T CLIMB THE POWER TETHERS. * [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: HOW COOL IS THAT ANNA KENDRICK, EVERYBODY "STOWAWAY" IS STREAMING NOW ON
NETFLIX. "STOWAWAY. ANNA AND I ARE GOING
HEAD-TO-HEAD IN A NEW SINGING GAME AFTER THE BREAK STICK AROUND
* Jimmy: WELCOME BACK WE ARE HANGING OUT WITH
ANNA KENDRICK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW, ANNA, WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE
A GREAT ACTOR AND SINGER SO I WANTED TO PUT BOTH OF THOSE SKILLS TO THE TEST
THIS IS "SING IT LIKE"
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
Jimmy: NOW HERE IS HOW IT WORKS. I WILL HIT THIS BUTTON WHICH
ACTIVATES THIS "SING IT LIKE" GENERATOR. IT WILL LAND ON ONE RANDOM SONG
AND ONE RANDOM SITUATION WHOEVER'S TURN IT IS - OKAY.
Jimmy: HAS TO SING THE SONG LIKE THEY'RE IN THAT SITUATION MAKE SENSE
OKAY. Jimmy: ALRIGHT, GOOD. YEP, I'M SUPER EXCITED.
Jimmy: SINCE YOU'RE MY GUEST, YOU WILL GO FIRST OKAY
SO HERE WE GO. OKAY. [ GENERATOR
Jimmy: "PART OF YOUR WORLD. AND YOU HAVE TO SING IT LIKE YOU JUST GOT BOTOX
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] GREAT Jimmy: WHENEVER YOU ARE
READY. * * FLIPPIN' YOUR FIN
YOU DON'T GET TOO FA LEGS ARE REQUIRE FOR JUMPING DANCING *
[ LAUGHTER ] * STROLLING ALONG DOWN TH WHAT'S THAT WORD AGAIN
OH STREE UP WHERE THEY WALK * * UP WHERE THEY RUN
UP WHERE THEY STAY ALL DAY IN THE SUN WANDERIN' FREE *
* WISH I COULD BE PART OF THAT WORLD * [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: OKAY GREAT. THAT WAS AWESOME
IT'S MY TURN HERE WE GO [ GENERATOR
SONG IS "YMCA. SING IT LIKE YOUR WI-FI IS CUTTING IN AND OUT
[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, I CAN DO THIS. HERE WE GO
* * YOUNG * *
* I SAID YOUNG MAN * * * I I I I I I I
NEED TO BE * * * IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE *
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * A STAY AT THE *
* [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE SO STUPID
Jimmy: CUTTING OUT? I LOVE IT Jimmy: CUTTING OUT?
AM I ON MUTE OKAY ANNA, YOU ARE UP
[ GENERATOR OKAY WHOA
YOU GOT "I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND THE SITUATION IS YOU HAVE TO -- YOU ARE SUDDENLY REALIZING THE CRANBERRY CHICKEN
SALAD YOU HAD FOR LUNCH WENT BAD. [ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY. Jimmy: WHENEVER YOU ARE READY.
OKAY. * * I NEED A MA
WHO'LL TAKE A CHANCE ON A LOV THAT'S HOT ENOUGH TO LAST *
* AND WHEN THE NIGHT FALL MY LONELY HEART CALL OH I WANT TO DANCE *
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * WITH SOMEBODY I WANT TO FEEL THE HEAT BABE
YEAH I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY OH * * WITH SOMEBODY
WHO LOVES ME * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU WERE UNBELIEVABLE. I COULD WATCH THAT FOR HOURS
THIS IS FUN Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. FOR THIS LAST ONE, LET'S TRY A
A DUET OKAY. [ GENERATOR
Jimmy: "I GOT YOU BABE" LIKE YOU'RE REPORTING LIVE DURING A A HURRICANE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OKAY ALL RIGHT.
I SEE PROPS COMING IN. OKAY, OKAY. WAIT, ARE YOU GOING TO --
OKAY -- I -- 'CAUSE I CAN HOLD SOMETHING. Jimmy: I HAVE TO --
WE'RE DOING -- OH Jimmy: WELL, I WAS TOLD - OH NO 'CAUSE I'M A -- 'CAUSE
I'M A WEATHERMAN, BABY LET'S GO Jimmy: YEAH
OH YEAH. HERE WE GO GREAT
Jimmy: PERFECT. * Jimmy: YOU START OFF.
YEAH. YEAH YEAH. *
* THEY SAY WE'RE YOUNG AN AND AND WE DON'T KNO WE WON'T FIN
OUT UNTIL WE GROW * * WELL I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE
BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT M AND BABE I'VE GOT * * I'VE GOT YO
I'VE GOT YOU BABE WHAT *
* I'VE GOT YOU BABE I'VE GOT YOU BABE * Jimmy: A LOT OF NEWSPAPER
WHERE I'M STANDING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOT OF NEWSPAPER WHERE I'M AT.
MY THANKS TO ANNA KENDRICK "STOWAWAY" IS STREAMING NOW ON NETFLIX.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
A TALENTED COMEDIAN WHO HAS WRITTEN A NEW BOOK CALLED "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP: FROM
MARK TWAIN TO DAVE CHAPPELL," WHICH IS AVAILABLE NOW PLEASE WELCOME WAYNE FEDERMAN!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WOW! THIS IS -- THIS IS
UNBELIEVABLE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON
WAYNE, IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING?
WELL, IT IS ACTUALLY GOING PRETTY WELL. YOU KNOW, EVERYONE DOES THEIR
OWN SELF CARE DURING THE PANDEMIC I SAW ANNA, SHE DID HER
EXERCISING OF COURSE, I AM DOING, YOU KNOW, I MICRO DOSE, CLARITIN IS
MY SYSTEM. Jimmy: WOW, MICRO DOSING CLARITIN
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I DO. BUT IT HAS BEEN REALLY FUN
IT HAS BEEN REALLY FUN SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENED DURING THE PANDEMIC TO ME
I HAD MY IDENTITY STOLEN Jimmy: NO WAYNE, THAT'S TERRIBLE
YEAH, YEAH. NO, NO, IT WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO
ME BECAUSE I GO THROUGH LIFE, AND I WONDER, YOU KNOW, DO I MATTER
DOES ANY OF THIS COUNT [ LAUGHTER ] DO I MAKE A DIFFERENCE
THEN ONE DAY I WAKE UP, AND SOMEONE'S LIKE, "HEY, I WANT TO BE YOU, WAYNE.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW. SOMEBODY WANTS TO BE ME
Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S AMAZING. I KNOW YOU AND ANNA KENDRICK WORKED ON A PROJECT TOGETHER
YES, WE DID Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO BRING IT UP.
YES, WE DID IT WAS ON QUIBI. IT WAS CALLED "DUMMY."
SHE PLAYED A WOMAN THAT COULD TALK TO HER BOYFRIEND'S SEX DOLL
IT WAS INCREDIBLE. I, OF COURSE, I THINK YOU CAN TELL, I PLAYED THE SEX DOLL
REPAIR MAN IN THAT [ LAUGHTER ] AND WHAT HAPPENS IS THE SHOW
DIDN'T GET CANCELLED, THE WHOLE PLATFORM GOT CANCELLED, THE WHOLE NETWORK.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S A FIRST. BUT APPARENTLY ANNA'S BEEN
ABLE TO BOUNCE BACK PRETTY NICELY [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR CREDITS ONLINE YEAH.
Jimmy: YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE OVER 100 CREDITS IN MOVIES WHAT DO YOU GET RECOGNIZED THE
MOST FOR WELL, PROBABLY, MAYBE "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM," BUT I ALSO
THERE'S THIS THING WHERE I AM IN LIKE A LOT OF MOVIES, BUT JUST IN ONE SCENE.
LIKE, IN "LEGALLY BLONDE" I'M PART OF THE HARVARD BOARD THAT LETS ELLE WOODS INTO COLLEGE
PIVOTAL PART OF THAT MOVIE, VERY IMPORTANT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I'M ALSO THE BLIND GUY IN "STEPBROTHERS. I'M IN ONE SCENE IN A MOVIE,
AND THEN GONE. YOU NEVER SEE ME AGAIN I CALL IT THE FEDERMAN AND OUT
I'M JUST IN AND THEN - [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: FEDERMAN AND OUT
I THINK IT IS BECAUSE MY ACTING IS SO PRECISE, AND EFFERVESCENT THAT IT WOULD JUST
RUIN THE NARRATIVE ARC OF ANY MOVIE SO - Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
YOUR BOOK, "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP." YES
Jimmy: I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS, BUDDY. IT IS A FANTASTIC BOOK
IT'S A GREAT READ. IT'S FUNNY BUT I LOVE THAT YOU DID THIS
I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF JEALOUS THAT YOU DID THIS. I DON'T HAVE THE BRAIN TO DO
THIS, BECAUSE I LOVE EVERY STORY IN HERE. THANK YOU SO -- THANK YOU SO
MUCH IT WAS A GREAT THRILL TO PUT IT TOGETHER
AGAIN, I HAVE ONLY DONE STAND-UP, SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE SHOW AS AN AUTHOR.
SO I WILL JUST START RIGHT HERE CHAPTER ONE.
"WHO IS THE FIRST COMEDIAN?" Jimmy: NO, NO, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE, WAYNE,
WAYNE, THAT'S NOT HOW THIS -- YOU DON'T READ THE BOOK ON THE SHOW
THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT. OH. Jimmy: WE TALK ABOUT THE
BOOK YOU WANT ME TO GO TO THE ENDING
DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU HOW IT ENS Jimmy: NO, NO THANK YOU
I APPRECIATE IT. NO SPOILERS. IT'S "THE EVOLUTION OF STAND-UP
COMEDY." I KNOW. AND THERE WAS PEOPLE DOING
STAND-UP BEFORE THE TERM STAND-UP EVEN EXISTED. SO IT'S REALLY INTERESTING
LIKE, MARK TWAIN AND THERE'S A A GUY CALLED ARTEMUS WARD. AND I GO THROUGH EVERY ERA
Jimmy: I NEVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
SO THE TERM STAND-UP CAME ABOUT IN 1947, BUT, LIKE, BOB HOPE WAS DOING STAND-UP, YOU KNOW,
IN THE '30s AND THE '20s AND STUFF. SO IT'S REALLY INTERESTING
SO WE COVER ALL OF THE WHOLE THING RIGHT UP THROUGH, YOU KNOW, THE COMEDY BOOM, WHEN YOU
JOINED IN IN THE 90s WHEN DID YOU START, JIMMY? Jimmy: YEAH, IT PROBABLY WAS
'90s YEAH 90 -- IN THE '90s, YEAH
SO YOU WERE PROBABLY AT THE COMEDY CLUB. SO WE COVER RIGHT THE WHOLE --
RIGHT THROUGH THE PANDEMIC WE DO THE GREATS, YOU KNOW, PRYOR, AND MOMS MABLEY
AND THEN WE DO SOME, LIKE, WALLY BOAG AND L.C. JANET, SOME PEOPLE YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN
ABOUT. AND YOU KNOW, I'M ALWAYS -- A LOT OF IT THERE'S A LOT OF
GEORGE CARLIN IN THIS. IT'S FUN TO THINK ABOUT CARLIN AS A YOUNG COMIC, AND THEN
BECAME THIS LEGEND AND THIS STORY KEEPS GOING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
AND NOW THERE'S NEW INCREDIBLE COMEDIANS. SO, THAT'S WHAT THE STORY IS
Jimmy: WAYNE, BEFORE I GIVE YOU OUR OUTRO HERE, I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE ONE OF
MY FAVORITE COMEDIANS THAT I'VE EVER SEEN, EVER. AND I'M JUST SO HONORED, AND LUCKY THAT I
GOT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU AND WORK WITH YOU. I REALLY AM A GIANT FAN OF
YOURS, DUDE. THANK YOU THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
I LOVE THE WAY THE AUDIENCE BURST INTO SPONTANEOUS APPLAUSE WHEN YOU SAID THAT
THAT WAS -- THAT FELT GOOD [ APPLAUSE ] YEAH, NO, NO, THIS HAS BEEN
A BLAST. THE ONE THING I REALLY WISH I WAS IN STUDIO FOR, JIMMY, IS
JUST THE VERY, YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT WHEN YOU THROW, LIKE, THE HOST THROWS TO THE
COMMERCIAL - Jimmy: YEAH -- AND THEN LEANS OVER TO
THE GUEST, AND DOES LIKE A A LITTLE INTIMATE CONVERSATION, AND THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T KNOW.
NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY SAY I WISH WE COULD HAVE DONE THAT, BUT WE CAN'T
BUT, ANYWAY, THANKS AGAIN FOR HAVING ME ON THE SHOW. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I THINK WE CAN TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING WORK OUT.
WAYNE FEDERMAN, EVERYBODY. "THE HISTORY OF STAND-UP" IS OUT NOW.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM MASKED WOLF COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE * Jimmy: MAKING HIS TV DEBUT
PERFORMING HIS GLOBAL HIT "ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN," HERE IS MASKED WOLF
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE * * ASTRONAUT *
* WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM
YOU CAN CALL * * THAT MENTAL FREEZ WHEN THESE PEOPL
TALK TOO MUC PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION * * YEAH I FEEL LIKE AN
ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN AYY WHAT YOU KNOW ABOU ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP *
* WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUMB YOU CAN CALL THAT MENTAL FREEZE
WHEN THESE PEOPLE * * TALK TOO MUCH PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION YEAH
I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN * * SHE SAY THAT I'M COOL
I'M LIKE YEAH THAT'S TRU I BELIEVE IN G-O-D DON'T BELIEVE IN T-H-O-T *
* SHE KEEP PLAYING ME DUM I'MA PLAY HER FOR FU Y'ALL DON'T REALLY
KNOW MY MENTAL * * LEMME GIVE YO THE PICTURE LIKE STENCIL
FALLING OU IN A DROUGHT * * NO FLOW RAIN WASN'T
POURING DOWN SEE THAT PAIN WAS ALL AROUND SEE MY MODE WAS *
* KINDA LOUNGED DIDN'T KNOW WHIC WHICH WAY TO TUR
FLOW WAS COOL BUT * * I STILL FELT BURN ENERGY UP YOU CA
FEEL MY SURG I'MA KILL EVERYTHING * * LIKE THIS PURGE
LET'S JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT FOR A SECOND I'MA WORK EVEN IF I DON'T GET PAID *
* FOR PROGRESSION I'MA GET I EVERYTHING THA
I DO IS ELECTRIC * * I'MA KEEP IT IN A MOTIO KEEP IT MOVING
LIKE KINETIC AYY PUT THIS IN A FRAME * * BETTER KNOW I DON'T BLAME
EVERYTHING THAT I SA MAN I SEEN YOU DEFLATE LET ME ELEVATE *
* THIS AIN'T A PRAN HAVE YOU WALKIN' ON A PLAN LA-LA-LA-LA-LA LIK
BOTH HANDS TOGETHER GOD * * LET ME PRAY I'VE BEEN GOING RIGH
RIGHT AROUND CALL THAT RELAY * * PASS THE BATO
BACK AND I'M O SWIMMING IN THE POOL KENDRICK LAMAR UH *
* WANT A PIECE OF THI A PIECE OF MIN MY PEACE A SIG
CAN YOU PLEASE READ * * BETWEEN THE LINES MY RHYME'S INCLINE
TO BREAK YOUR SPIN THEY SAY THAT I'M SO FINE * * YOU COULD NEVER
MATCH MY GRIND PLEASE DO NO NOT WASTE MY TIME *
* WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM
YOU CAN CALL * * THAT MENTAL FREEZ WHEN THESE PEOPL
TALK TOO MUC PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION * * I FEEL LIKE A
ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN AYY WHAT YOU KNOW ABOU ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP *
* WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUMB YOU CAN CALL THAT MENTAL FREEZE
WHEN THESE PEOPLE * * TALK TOO MUCH PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION YEAH
I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN * *
* ASTRO * * * ASTRO *
* * WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP
WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUM YOU CAN CALL * * THAT MENTAL FREEZ
WHEN THESE PEOPL TALK TOO MUC PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION *
* YEAH I FEEL LIKE AN ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN AYY WHAT YOU KNOW ABOU
ROLLIN' DOWN IN THE DEEP * * WHEN YOUR BRAIN GOES NUMB YOU CAN CALL
THAT MENTAL FREEZE WHEN THESE PEOPLE * * TALK TOO MUCH
PUT THAT IN SLOW MOTION YEAH YEAH I FEEL LIKE A ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN *
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: JOIN US NEXT WEEK. MICHAEL B. JORDAN, MICHAEL CHE,
KATE UPTON WILL BE HERE. MY THANKS TO ANNA KENDRICK, WAYNE FEDERMAN, MASKED WOLF.
AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT" WITH SETH MEYERS