1 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:14,414 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:21,521 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:26,059 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - MICHAEL STRAHAN, 4 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:30,430 TIG NOTARO COMEDIAN EMMY BLOTNICK AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:37,070 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1444 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:43,443 >> Questlove: 1444 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:53,086 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 8 00:00:53,086 --> 00:01:04,531 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH MY GOODNESS 9 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,600 THAT FEELS GOOD. I LOVE YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYONE. 10 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,170 WELCOME. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 11 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:14,641 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 12 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:19,145 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS WELL, GUYS, THIS IS EXCITING 13 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:23,750 AS OF TODAY ALL AMERICANS 16 AND OLDER ARE NOW ELIGIBLE FOR THE COVID VACCINE. 14 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:30,090 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * AND YET THE BIGGEST THING 15 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,093 * AND YET THE BIGGEST THING TRENDING ONLINE TODAY WAS THIS 16 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,862 >> McDONALD'S PARTNERING WITH POPULAR KOREAN POP BAND BTS. 17 00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:39,099 THE CELEBRITY MEAL GOES ON SALE NEXT MONTH THE MEAL FEATURES TEN PIECE 18 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,335 CHICKEN NUGGETS, MEDIUM FRIES AND A COKE THE FAST FOOD CHAIN ALSO 19 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:49,009 DEBUTING TWO NEW DIPPING SAUCES >> Jimmy: JUST SO THERE'S NO 20 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:55,215 CONFUSION, YOU GET YOUR BTS ORDER AT McDONALD'S AND YOU GET YOUR IBS ORDER AT WHITE CASTLE 21 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,317 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: THIS IS ODD, BUT MY 22 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,587 NICKNAME AT MY LOCAL McDONALD'S IS BTS CAUSE WHENEVER I ORDER THEY THINK IT'S FOR SEVEN 23 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:04,257 PEOPLE "GIVE ME A NUMBER THREE, AND UH - 24 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:09,662 YOU GUYS STILL MAKING PANCAKES I MIGHT THROW A COUPLE OF THOSE IN THERE." 25 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,965 >> Steve: "WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT DID YOU WANT? >> Jimmy: DOING DIFFERENT 26 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,300 VOICES >> Steve: "I'LL HAVE THREE SMALL --" >> Jimmy: "I WOULD 27 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:19,072 LIKE TO GET A BIG MAC. >> Steve: "HE WANTS A BIG MAC, TOO. 28 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,508 >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY RUSSIAN BUDDY. >> Steve: "AND SOME FRIES! 29 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:23,376 >> Jimmy: OF COURSE, ADDING THE BTS NAME TO McDONALD'S WILL DRUM UP A LOT OF BUSINESS, BUT 30 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:27,547 IF BTS REALLY WANTS TO IMPRESS ME, THEY'LL PUT THEIR NAME ON THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON VACCINE. 31 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:32,752 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. >> Steve: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 32 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,254 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: WELL GUYS, NOW THAT THE VACCINE IS OPEN TO ALL 33 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:38,258 AMERICANS 16 AND OLDER, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO GET THE WORD OUT. 34 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,093 BIDEN ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO GET THE WORD OUT. WATCH THIS 35 00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,797 A MEDIA BLITZ TODAY TO PROMOTE THE VACCINE. 36 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,665 >> YOU'RE GOING TO BE SEEING DR. FAUCI ON UNLIKELY FORUMS SUCH AS SNAPCHAT AND THE 37 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,434 ADMINISTRATION IS ALSO GONNA BE USING FACEBOOK AND TWITTER TO SEND PUSH NOTIFICATIONS TO 38 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:56,409 AMERICANS TO LET THEM KNOW THAT IT'S THEIR TURN TO GET VACCINATED 39 00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,978 >> Jimmy: SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT YOUR IDEA TO GET KIDS 40 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:05,151 VACCINATED IS PUTTING AN 80-YEAR-OLD SCIENTIST ON TIKTOK 41 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,753 [ LAUGHTER ] GOOD LUCK. YOU KNOW BIDEN'S OLD WHEN HE'S 42 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:10,090 LIKE, "WE NEED SOMEONE YOUNG AND HIP FOR THE SNAPCHAT VIDEOS 43 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:17,230 HOW ABOUT THAT KID, DR. FAUCI? MEANWHILE I READ THAT A LOT OF SINGLES HAVE BEEN MEETING WHILE 44 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:22,335 WAITING IN LINE TO GET THEIR VACCINES [ AUDIENCE OOHS 45 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:27,073 THAT'S REALLY SWEET UNTIL THAT MOMENT WHEN THE MASKS COME OFF WE'RE GOOD 46 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:30,076 WE'RE GOOD YOU KNOW SOMEONE DIDN'T LIKE YOU WHEN THEY SKIPPED THEIR 47 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:35,315 SECOND DOSE JUST TO AVOID SEEING YOU AGAIN [ LAUGHTER ] 48 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,083 TODAY ONE GUY IN RITE AID WAS LIKE, CARE TO CONTINUE THIS OVER BY THE BLOOD PRESSURE 49 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:41,521 MACHINE? [ LAUGHTER ] ALL I KNOW IS WE'RE PROBABLY 50 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:47,193 DAYS AWAY FROM THE NEW HALLMARK MOVIE, MODERNA LOVE. [ LAUGHTER ] 51 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:50,630 WELL THIS IS EXCITING. EARLY THIS MORNING NASA MADE HISTORY ON MARS. 52 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:51,164 EARLY THIS MORNING NASA MADE HISTORY ON MARS. CHECK IT OUT 53 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,501 ANOTHER HISTORIC ACCOMPLISHMENT ON THE RED PLANET, SUCCESSFULLY 54 00:03:54,501 --> 00:04:00,774 FLYING A MINI HELICOPTER ON MARS IT'S THE FIRST EVER POWERED 55 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:05,545 FLIGHT ON ANOTHER PLANET >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT A LITTLE HELICOPTER DETACHED 56 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:10,950 FROM A ROVER AND NOW THEY'RE BOTH EXPLORING MARS. OR AS PIXAR PUT IT, "SOLD! 57 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:15,055 [ LAUGHTER ] THE FLIGHT LASTED A TOTAL OF 30 SECONDS 58 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:18,625 THE MEN ON THE TEAM SAID IT WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS WHILE THE WOMEN AGREED SO THEY WOULDN'T 59 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:26,199 HURT ANYONE'S FEELINGS [ LAUGHTER ] I SAW THAT - 60 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,168 >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: I SAW THAT TINDER -- I SAW THAT TINDER USERS CAN GET 61 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:36,076 FREE LESSONS ON THE LANGUAGE APP DUOLINGO SO THEY CAN MEET OTHER INTERNATIONAL SINGLES. 62 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,745 IT'S AMAZING THE PROGRAM TEACHES YOU HOW TO SAY "YOU UP?" IN 40 DIFFERENT 63 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:43,750 LANGUAGES. [ LAUGHTER ] WELL GUYS, BIG SPORTS NEWS FROM 64 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,318 OVERSEAS SOME OF THE WORLD'S BEST SOCCER CLUBS MADE A PRETTY 65 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:48,788 CLUBS MADE A PRETTY CONTROVERSIAL DECISION LISTEN TO THIS 66 00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:50,156 >> 12 OF EUROPE'S TOP CLUBS 67 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:55,228 HAVE ANNOUNCED PLANS TO FORM A A SUPER LEAGUE SOME OF THE WEALTHIEST AND MOST 68 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,097 SUCCESSFUL TEAMS FROM ENGLAND, SPAIN AND ITALY SAY THEY PLAN TO FORM AN EXCLUSIVE NEW LEAGUE 69 00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:05,271 WHERE THEY WILL COMPETE ONLY AMONGST THEMSELVES >> Jimmy: RIGHT NOW AMERICA IS 70 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,040 THINKING, "WHATEVER. WHILE EUROPE'S LIKE, "FORGET THE VIRUS. 71 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,543 THIS IS THE BIGGEST THREAT FACING THE WORLD." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 72 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,245 YEP, THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR EUROPEANS AND YOUR ANNOYING FRIEND WHO WEARS A SOCCER 73 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:19,386 JERSEY TO SATURDAY BRUNCH. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THIS IS STRANGE. 74 00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:23,523 TO HELP PROMOTE THE NEW SOCCER LEAGUE, THEY'RE SENDING DR. FAUCI ON TO SNAPCHAT 75 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:26,159 >> Steve: REALLY >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. >> Steve: WOW! 76 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,062 >> Jimmy: SOME POLITICAL NEWS, A NEW POLL SHOWS MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY IS LEADING 77 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:35,802 GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT BY 12 POINTS IN A HYPOTHETICAL MATCH-UP FOR GOVERNOR OF TEXAS 78 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:41,574 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LIKE IT. WHEN ASKED IF HE'S ACTUALLY 79 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:46,379 GOING TO RUN FOR OFFICE, McCONAUGHEY SAID, I MIGHT, I MIGHT, I MIGHT 80 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,348 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT McCONAUGHEY IS LEADING THE 81 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:53,486 POLLS, BETWEEN THAT AND 4/20, THIS IS BEST WEEK OF HIS LIFE, MAYBE. 82 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:57,090 THIS ALL MAKES SENSE CAUSE PEOPLE IN TEXAS WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT THE PARTY OF LINCOLN 83 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,493 CORRECT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: NICE, NICE, NICE 84 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:03,563 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, HIGGINS HISTORIAN. >> Steve: YEP. 85 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,198 >> Jimmy: SO YOU APPRECIATE THAT HUMOR >> Steve: I APPRECIATE -- I 86 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,167 APPRECIATE THAT. ALSO, HE DID "THE LINCOLN LAWYER" TOO. 87 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:11,137 SO YOU GOT TWO LINCOLNS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT I HEARD HE'S REPRISING HIS 88 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,840 ROLE >> Steve: IS HE REALLY >> Jimmy: MM-HMM 89 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,776 >> Steve: AS WHAT? >> Jimmy: THE SAME LAWYER. [ LAUGHTER ] 90 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:20,180 >> Steve: NICER CAR. >> Jimmy: SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS 91 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,749 IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT A A SECOND "DOWNTON ABBEY" MOVIE IS HITTING THEATERS LATER THIS 92 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:26,119 YEAR THEY'VE ACTUALLY COME UP WITH A GREAT NAME FOR THE "DOWNTON 93 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:32,726 ABBEY" SEQUEL. "PRUDE BRIDGERTON. [ LAUGHTER ] 94 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,228 WELL, THIS IS CREEPY RETAILERS ARE SELLING A REALISTIC MUSCULAR BODY SUIT 95 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:41,835 FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LOOK FIT THIS SUMMER WITHOUT HAVING TO HIT THE GYM. 96 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:45,105 LOOK AT THAT THING [ LAUGHTER ] ISN'T THAT BIZARRE 97 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:49,275 IMAGINE YOU'RE ABOUT TO TAKE THINGS FURTHER AND YOUR GUY IS LIKE, "HOLD ON 98 00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:51,911 I'VE JUST GOT TO TAKE OFF MY RUBBER SKIN SUIT FIRST." [ LAUGHTER ] 99 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,646 THE SUIT COSTS MORE THAN $100, AND THEY'RE HARDER TO GET OUT OF THAN A PLANET FITNESS 100 00:06:53,646 --> 00:07:00,620 MEMBERSHIP [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, OVER THE WEEKEND, 101 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:06,459 TSA AGENTS IN HOUSTON FOUND CRYSTAL METH IN A TRAVELER'S BURRITO. 102 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,395 I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS YOU GET A BURRITO WITH BEANS, CHEESE, AND CRYSTAL METH WHEN 103 00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:14,234 YOU ACTUALLY ORDERED A BURRITO WITH BEANS, CHEESE AND CRACK [ LAUGHTER ] 104 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,403 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 105 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:34,120 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY! * 106 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:38,825 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 107 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:42,395 >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: HEY, WELCOME BACK! IT IS MONDAY 108 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,930 WE'RE SO EXCITED TO BE BACK. WE HAVE AN AMAZING WEEK OF SHOWS. 109 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:47,667 AHEAD, JANE FONDA WILL BE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH 110 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,069 >> Jimmy: KEVIN BACON WILL BE HERE >> Steve: OH 111 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,770 >> Jimmy: ANNA KENDRICK WILL BE HERE AND WE HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM ALANIS MORISSETTE 112 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,306 THIS IS A BIG WEEK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH FUN 113 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,941 >> Jimmy: BUT FIRST, WE HAVE A A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT JOINING US IN STUDIO, HE 114 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,943 CO-HOSTS "GOOD MORNING AMERICA" AND HIS NEW CLOTHING LINE MSX BY MICHAEL STRAHAN IS AVAILABLE 115 00:07:56,943 --> 00:08:02,582 NOW. MICHAEL STRAHAN IS HERE! >> Steve: COME ON! 116 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,385 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HE'S ONE OF THE BEST DUDES OF ALL TIME. 117 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,221 WE'RE SO PSYCHED EVERY TIME HE COMES ON HE'S GREAT. 118 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:13,059 ARE YOU GUYS FRIENDS THE ROOTS, ARE YOU GUYS -- YOU FRIENDS WITH STRAHAN OR MAYBE? 119 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,694 >> Tariq: ABSOLUTELY >> Questlove: YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH 120 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,731 >> Questlove: YEAH >> Jimmy: THERE WAS A PHILADELPHIA -- IT WAS A 121 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:21,601 A EAGLES-GIANTS RIVALRY WHEN MICHAEL WOULD COME ON. >> Steve: RIGHT, THEY DON'T 122 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,036 ENJOY THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH THE ROOTS -- 123 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,105 >> Steve: IT'S A SPORTS THING. >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH YEAH, YEAH 124 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,474 BUT NOW THEY'RE -- >> Tariq: WE'RE COOL >> Jimmy: WOW. 125 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:30,944 >> Questlove: YEAH >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. PLUS NEW EPISODES OF HER 126 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:36,783 PODCAST, "DON'T ASK TIG" ARE AVAILABLE WEDNESDAYS TIG NOTARO IS ON THE SHOW! 127 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:41,187 >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I LOVE TIG TOO 128 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:45,692 AND WE HAVE GREAT STAND-UP DO YOU REMEMBER EMMY BLOTNICK? >> Steve: I DO 129 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,762 >> Jimmy: USED TO WORK FOR "LATE NIGHT" AND WRITE FOR OUR SHOW, AND LOOK AT HER NOW. 130 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,564 SHE'S CRUSHING IT IN THE STAND-UP WORLD EMMY BLOTNICK IS HERE IN 131 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:59,105 STUDIO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I'VE STILL GOT - 132 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,507 >> Steve: YOU GOT THE LOWER BACK >> Jimmy: I GOT THE LOWER BACK 133 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,243 PAIN >> Steve: DID YOU TRY GETTING THE TATTOO OR NO 134 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,079 >> Jimmy: YEAH I GOT A LOWER -- I GOT A A TATTOO 135 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:12,218 IT DIDN'T HELP AT ALL. BUT I HAVE HAD THIS LOWER BACK PAIN FOR A WHILE NOW 136 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,288 AND IT'S NOT REALLY GOING AWAY I'M DOING THE STRETCHING >> Steve: RIGHT. 137 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,357 >> Jimmy: STRETCHING AND ALL THAT STUFF THAT'S NOT MY -- 138 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:20,660 WELL, THAT'S ONE OF MY STRETCHES. >> Steve: RIGHT. 139 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,063 >> Jimmy: BUT I'M DOING COBRA. >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW - 140 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,731 >> Steve: DOWNWARD DOG >> Jimmy: I'M DOING CAT AND COW. 141 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,433 >> Steve: YEP. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 142 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,234 ANYTHING THAT STARTS WITH A C, I'M DOING IT AND THEN SOMEBODY TOLD ME TO 143 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:35,041 READ A BOOK, "HEALING BACK PAIN" BY JOHN SARNO, HE'S A DOCTOR 144 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:41,081 AND SO I STARTED LISTENING TO THAT AND HE'S SAYING THAT LOWER BACK PAIN IS A LOT MENTAL. 145 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:46,753 YEAH AND HE SAID THAT -- AND HE SAID -- I'M LISTENING TO IT. 146 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,688 I'M HALFWAY THROUGH IT NOW AND HE SAID THAT A LOT OF NARCISSISTS GET LOWER BACK 147 00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:55,562 PAIN [ LAUGHTER ] [ CYMBAL CRASH ] 148 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,565 MY WIFE WAS LIKE, "WAIT --" >> Steve: YOU SHOULD KEEP READING >> Jimmy: YEAH 149 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,935 >> Steve: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU THINK THIS BOOK IS ABOUT YOU? 150 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,739 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT THAT WAY. 151 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:09,275 YEAH I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY FOR THIS BOOK. 152 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:15,582 BUT -- SO I'M GOING TO DO MORE MEDITATION >> Steve: OH, GOOD 153 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:18,251 >> Jimmy: I GUESS, RIGHT YEAH I DON'T KNOW 154 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,653 >> Steve: I LOVE MEDITATION. >> Jimmy: DO YOU DO THAT - >> Steve: I DO IT EVERY -- 155 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,922 >> Jimmy: DO YOU STILL DO THAT BREATHING GUY? >> Steve: EVERY DAY. 156 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,258 WHAT'S THAT? >> Jimmy: THE BREATHING GUY? REMEMBER 157 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,193 YOU TOLD ME TO - >> Steve: OH, OH WIM HOF? 158 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,295 >> Jimmy: YEAH YEAH >> NO, I DON'T 159 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,564 I'M TOO LAZY FOR THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH 160 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,767 >> Steve: MEDITATION, I'M GOOD, CAUSE I DON'T DO ANYTHING. >> Jimmy: I TRIED THAT THING 161 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,301 ONCE THAT THING YOU TOLD ME, WIM HOF. 162 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:39,873 HAVE YOU TRIED THAT, TARIQ >> Tariq: VIM -- >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO 163 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,076 YOU DON'T SAY VIM HOF. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S THE GUY'S NAME. 164 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,245 >> Steve: WHO CLIMBED MOUNT EVEREST WITH NO OXYGEN >> Jimmy: HE CLIMBED MOUNT 165 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,613 EVEREST WITH NO OXYGEN AND HE LIKE - >> Steve: THE COLD GUY, YOU 166 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,548 KNOW THAT DUDE >> Tariq: IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO MEDITATION, YOU GOT TO GO TO 167 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:51,818 DR. JOE. JOE DISPENZA >> Questlove: JOE DISPENZA 168 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,620 >> Tariq: YEAH >> Jimmy: JOE DISPENZA >> Questlove: THAT'S THE GUY 169 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,989 >> Tariq: HE'S THE GUY >> Jimmy: WHAT >> Tariq: THAT'S THE GUY 170 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,025 >> Jimmy: JOE DISPENZA >> Tariq: THAT'S THE GUY >> Steve: NO, I WENT TO 171 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:01,628 BOB ROTH THAT'S THE GUY [ LAUGHTER ] 172 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,296 BOB ROTH - >> Jimmy: BOB ROSS, THE PAINTER? 173 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,231 >> Steve: NO, BOB ROTH YOU'RE THINKING OF BOB ROSS, THE PAINTER. 174 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,900 >> Jimmy: NO, I WENT TO A GUY CALLED "WAKING UP. THAT'S THE GUY I -- THAT'S THE 175 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:12,205 APP I -- >> Tariq: YEAH, THAT'S NOT -- THAT'S THE WRONG GUY 176 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:15,075 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: REALLY >> Tariq: YEAH 177 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,143 >> Jimmy: JOE -- WHAT'S HIS NAME >> Together: JOE DISPENZA. 178 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,080 >> Jimmy: JOE DISPENZA >> Steve: IS HE A PHILLY GUY >> Tariq: NO 179 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,149 >> Questlove: NO, HE'S WORLDWIDE. HE'S THE GUY 180 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,485 TRUST ME >> Jimmy: JOE DISPENZA >> Questlove: TRUST ME 181 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,988 >> Tariq: JOE DISPENZA >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. I'M DOING JOE DISPENZA 182 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:31,391 >> Steve: IS HE EXPENSIVE? CAUSE YOU GONNA SPENDZA THE MONEY. 183 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,094 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ANYWAY - >> Steve: THANK YOU. 184 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:37,864 >> Jimmy: SINCE I'VE BEEN INSULTED BY THIS BOOK, I'VE FELT A LITTLE BETTER 185 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:41,368 [ LAUGHTER ] SO MAYBE THAT'S MY WAY TO CURING MY LOWER BACK PAIN, BUT 186 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,936 I'M GOING TO TEST MY BACK TONIGHT CAUSE WE HAVE A PHYSICAL CHALLENGE WITH ME 187 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:51,211 AND MICHAEL STRAHAN. [ AUDIENCE OOHS YOU'LL SEE 188 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,947 I'M ACTUALLY PSYCHED ABOUT THIS BTS McDONALD'S THING BY THE WAY. 189 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:59,519 I THINK IT'S A GOOD MOVE I LIKE A GOOD COLLAB >> Steve: I THINK IT'S GOOD. 190 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,087 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IF I HAD MY McDONALD'S MEAL, THE JIMMY FALLON, IT'D BE 191 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,624 A CHEESEBURGER - >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: WITH FRENCH FIRES 192 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:07,460 ALREADY ON THE BURGER. >> Steve: OOH. >> Jimmy: AND THEN A LITTLE BIT 193 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,630 EXTRA KETCHUP CAUSE I THINK THEY COULD USE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE 194 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:14,834 >> Steve: JUST A SCOOCH. >> Jimmy: JUST A SCOOCH. >> Steve: YEAH 195 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:20,273 >> Jimmy: JUST A HALF A PUMP LIKE A -- PUMP [ FART NOISES 196 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,243 STOP DOING THAT SOUND. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT YEAH, YEAH, YEAH 197 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,211 THAT IS WHAT I WOULD DO. I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY SOUND EFFECTS. 198 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:28,181 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: C'MON, JUST PRESS IT ONE MORE TIME. 199 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,283 >> Jimmy: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW IT'S MADE OR WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE MAKING IT 200 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,819 [ FART ] [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT THEN YOU GET 201 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:36,556 THAT AND THEN THROW IN A MEDIUM FRY JUST CAUSE IT'S FUN TO HAVE 202 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,292 FRIES THERE. >> Steve: RIGHT. >> Jimmy: AND THEN YOUR SOFT 203 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,461 DRINK OF CHOICE. >> Steve: OH, YOU CAN CHOOSE >> Jimmy: YEAH 204 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,096 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE TOLD WHAT - >> Steve: RIGHT, RIGHT 205 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,833 YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE GROWN UP ENOUGH, THEY CAN CHOOSE THEIR OWN SOFT DRINKS. 206 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,302 >> Jimmy: YEAH YEAH THAT'S NOT PART OF MY MEAL 207 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:53,106 >> Steve: RIGHT, NO. >> Jimmy: THERE'S FREEDOM IN MY MEAL 208 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,808 YOU GET THE FRENCH FRIES, OF COURSE, THEY'RE SHOVED ON TO THE SANDWICH OF COURSE 209 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,743 >> Steve: RIGHT, SO YOU HAVE NO CHOICE - >> Jimmy: AND THE KETCHUP. 210 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,913 YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN THAT MATTER AND THEN YOU HAVE MEDIUM FIRES 211 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,648 THERE'S NO CHOICE IN THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SUPER SIZE IT OR GO LARGE, BUT I THINK 212 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:06,052 MEDIUM IS LARGE ENOUGH >> Steve: CAUSE YOU GOT FRIES ALREADY ON THE SANDWICH. 213 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,921 >> Jimmy: IT'S ALREADY ON THE SANDWICH >> Steve: YEAH 214 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,656 >> Jimmy: YEAH AND I CALL A HAMBURGER A A SANDWICH, OF COURSE. 215 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:14,160 >> Steve: YEAH TWO PIECES OF BREAD. YEAH, SURE 216 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,430 >> Jimmy: YEAH SURE WHY NOT? 217 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,933 TARIQ, WHAT WOULD BE IN YOUR SPECIAL MEAL >> Tariq: HUH? 218 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:24,537 >> Jimmy: WHAT WOULD BE IN YOUR SPECIAL MEAL >> Tariq: I'D HAVE TO GO WITH 219 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:29,342 WHAT I ORDER EVERY TIME, A BIG MAC, REGULAR FRIES - >> Jimmy: SURE 220 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:33,613 >> Tariq: AND YOU DO A McFLURRY WITH THE OREOS AND M & Ms MIXED TOGETHER 221 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,549 >> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD THE AUDIENCE LIKE'S THAT 222 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:40,487 [ CHEERS ] QUEST, HOW ABOUT YOU WHAT'S YOUR MEAL 223 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:46,926 >> Questlove: ME, I GO WITH THEIR BREAKFAST MENU LIKE I'LL DO A EGG McMUFFIN AND 224 00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:54,334 I'LL DO TWO HASHBROWNS WITH BARBECUE SAUCE ON THE SIDE [ CHEERS ] 225 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,670 >> Jimmy: THAT SOUNDS FUN. THAT'S INTERESTING I LIKE THAT A LOT. 226 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,838 HOW ABOUT YOU, HIGGINS WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL ORDER? >> Steve: OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE 227 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,509 THIS YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS 228 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,310 FIRST I ORDER THOSE LITTLE APPLE SLICES, YOU KNOW, THAT COMES IN THE BAG IN THE KIDS 229 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,613 MEALS. >> Jimmy: YEAH, SURE >> Steve: THEN I ORDER ANOTHER 230 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:13,553 SECOND BAG OF THOSE LITTLE APPLE SLICES >> Jimmy: IS THAT IT 231 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:21,127 >> Steve: NO THEN I ORDER A PIPING HOT McCAFE COFFEE. 232 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,963 >> Jimmy: UH-HUH >> Steve: AND AS THEY HAND IT TO ME, I ACCIDENTALLY SPILL IT 233 00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,699 ALL OVER MYSELF -- >> Jimmy: YEP. >> Steve: BURNING MYSELF VERY 234 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,367 BADLY AND I THREATEN TO SUE THEM UNLESS THEY GIVE ME A A THIRD BAG OF THOSE LITTLE 235 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:32,505 APPLE SLICES THEN AFTER THAT -- >> Jimmy: OKAY 236 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:39,079 >> Steve: I ORDER WAFFLES. AND THEN WHEN THEY GO, "HEY, WE DON'T HAVE WAFFLES." 237 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:44,818 I ASK FOR THREE MORE BAGS OF THOSE LITTLE APPLE SLICES. [ LAUGHTER ] 238 00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,786 MMM, SO GOOD >> Jimmy: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS 239 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,522 >> Steve: THEN, ONCE I HAVE MY APPLE SLICES IN THE ORDER. RIGHT? 240 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,591 I ASK FOR A LARGE COKE >> Jimmy: OH, THERE YOU GO AT LEAST THAT'S A NORMAL THING 241 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,293 TO ORDER >> Steve: I DUMP OUT THE COKE, RUN ACROSS THE STREET TO TACO 242 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,830 BELL, FILL IT UP WITH MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST AND IF THE PEOPLE AT THE BELL 243 00:14:56,830 --> 00:15:02,569 START YELLING AT ME, I JUST TELL THEM I'M AN UNDERCOVER FBI AGENT. 244 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:07,707 WORKS LIKE THREE OUT OF TEN TIMES, THEY LET IT SLIDE YOU KNOW 245 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,476 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHY I CALL THAT THE HIGGINS SPECIAL. 246 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:15,048 >> Jimmy: SOUNDS DISGUSTING. >> Steve: REALLY WELL, IF IT'S SO DISGUSTING, 247 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:18,651 WHY IS THERE A JINGLE TO IT? [ LAUGHTER ] * 248 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,854 * IT'S A BUNCH OF APPLE SLICES AND A STOLEN 249 00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,390 MOUNTAIN DEW * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I'M STILL NOT GONNA 250 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,191 EAT IT STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 251 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:44,144 "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 252 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:48,782 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK I'M ABOUT TO PLAY A BRAND NEW GAME CALLED "GOLF PONG," WHICH 253 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:54,788 IS WHY I'M STANDING ON ASTRO TURF FACING SIX GIANT CUPS OF BEER 254 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:58,191 NOW, I'M GOING TO NEED A A COMPETITOR WORTHY OF THE GOLF PONG COURSE. 255 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:02,228 SO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME THE ONE AND ONLY MICHAEL STRAHAN! 256 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:10,337 * >> WHAT'S UP, WHAT'S UP, WHAT'S UP 257 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:14,474 >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. >> WHAT'S UP, FELLAS 258 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:21,481 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HERE'S HOW THE GAME WORKS WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS 259 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,284 TRYING TO HIT GOLF BALLS INTO THOSE GIANT RED CUPS IF YOU MAKE A SHOT, YOUR 260 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,353 OPPONENT HAS TO CHUG A BEER. FIRST ONE TO MAKE THREE SHOTS WINS 261 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:31,391 MICHAEL, YOU'RE MY GUEST, SO YOU CAN GO FIRST >> OKAY. 262 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:36,363 LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE. >> Jimmy: I'M A LITTLE WORRIED [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 263 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:44,971 * >> WHOA! >> Jimmy: FIRST SHOT 264 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:49,642 >> OKAY. GO AHEAD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 265 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:55,715 * >> WILL I DRINK OR WON'T I DRINK? 266 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:59,285 THAT IS THE QUESTION >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO 267 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:02,122 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. >> YOU'RE GOING TO PRACTICE SWING ON A GAME? 268 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:08,895 >> Jimmy: I HAVE A BAD LOWER BACK [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 269 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:14,134 [ CYMBAL CRASH ] [ AUDIENCE AWS ] >> A LITTLE TOO MUCH 270 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,236 >> Jimmy: WORKING OUT A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH >> WORDS YOU NEVER HEARD 271 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,506 BEFORE A LITTLE TOO MUCH. >> Jimmy: WOW! 272 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:25,478 UNBELIEVABLE UNBELIEVABLE UNBELIEVABLE 273 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:31,584 * >> OH, JIMMY >> Jimmy: I TOLD YOU THIS. 274 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,820 I TOLD THE PRODUCER, THEY SAID, "DUDE, THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A A LONG TIME. 275 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,222 I GO, "NO, YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STRAHAN. HE'S AWESOME." 276 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,158 >> COME ON, YOU'VE GOT THIS MAN. I WANT TO DRINK. 277 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:48,968 I WANT TO DRINK SOMETHING. >> Jimmy: I KNOW, I KNOW * 278 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,838 IT'S LIKE BEER MIXED WITH WHITE CLAW >> YOU CAN DO IT 279 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:58,912 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, BUDDY >> COME ON, MAN. YOU GOT IT 280 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,682 [ AUDIENCE AWS ] >> Jimmy: JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE 281 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:19,265 >> YOU NEED ONE MORE >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO [ AUDIENCE AWS ] 282 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:23,703 OH GOD ARE YOU GOING TO JUST WIN RIGHT HERE 283 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:26,840 THIS IS IT YOU JUST CRUSHED ME IN THIS, MAN. 284 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:33,847 LIKE LAST TIME WE PLAYED AND YOU SANK THAT PUCK OH, MY GOD 285 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,615 COME ON NOW. IF THAT WENT IN -- [ AUDIENCE AWS ] 286 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:41,054 >> IF I WOULD HAVE MADE THAT - >> Jimmy: THEN I WOULD HAVE TO RETIRE 287 00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:45,492 WHAT AM I -- OH, MY GOD, DON'T LAUGH. WHEN YOU LAUGH LIKE THAT, I 288 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,061 KNOW THAT MEANS YOU'RE GOING TO WIN. HOLD ON. 289 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:52,265 >> GO AHEAD, MAN MAKE ME DRINK ONE. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THIS ONE, 290 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:59,572 HERE WE GO ARE YOU READY? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 291 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:03,743 [ AUDIENCE AWS ] THERE'S TOO MUCH POWER THERE'S TOO MUCH POWER 292 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,747 >> YOU NEED MORE FINESSE >> Jimmy: MAYBE I HAVE TO MOVE MY GLASS BACK. 293 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:11,151 >> IT'S LIKE FINESSE YOU'VE GOT TO FINESSE. >> Jimmy: MY FINESSE 294 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,921 >> HERE WE GO. >> Jimmy: YOU CRUSHED ME IN THIS 295 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:18,892 COME ON. >> TOO MUCH! >> ALL RIGHT 296 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:23,396 SO TOO MUCH. HERE WE GO I'M GOING TO -- HAPPY GILMORE 297 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:28,435 INTO IT. THAT WAS WHAT I DID THERE? >> HOW DID THAT WORK OUT FOR 298 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,170 YOU? >> Jimmy: NO, IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. 299 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:38,678 >> HERE WE GO. LAST ONE HERE. >> Jimmy: YES, GOOD! 300 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:44,818 I LOVE THAT -- THAT'S IT THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO MOTIVATE ME 301 00:19:44,818 --> 00:19:50,924 HERE WE GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MY GOD 302 00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:54,427 >> AM I JUST DRINKING BECAUSE I WANT TO? >> Jimmy: YES, YES 303 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,596 SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THAT'S WHAT I'M -- 304 00:19:56,596 --> 00:20:07,974 THAT BALL CAME BACK TO ME. HERE WE GO MAYBE IF I PUT THE BALL FURTHER 305 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:17,017 BACK HERE IN THE FAKE GRASS. >> YOU HAVE ALL THESE THEORIES AS TO WHAT'S WRONG 306 00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:21,287 OH >> Jimmy: MY BALL KEEPS COMING BACK TO ME 307 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,490 DO I GET POINTS FOR THAT >> ALL RIGHT, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THIS IS 308 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:28,194 IT GOSH DARN IT OH, MY GOSH! 309 00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,463 * [ DING ] [ DING ] 310 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,633 [ DING ] NOT MY DAY NOT MY DAY 311 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,002 COME ON! SERIOUS? COME ON. 312 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:44,411 MICHAEL STRAHAN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MICHAEL STRAHAN, EVERYBODY 313 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,580 HIS NEW CLOTHING LINE, MSX BY MICHAEL STRAHAN IS AVAILABLE NOW AT MEN'S WEARHOUSE AND 314 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:52,886 MOORES NATIONWIDE AND ONLINE AT MSXBYMICHAELSTRAHAN.COM. WE'RE CHATTING MORE WITH 315 00:20:52,886 --> 00:21:14,174 MICHAEL AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND * 316 00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:17,077 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE CO-HOSTS OF "GOOD MORNING AMERICA. 317 00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:22,215 HE ALSO HAS A NEW CLOTHING LINE CALLED MSX BY MICHAEL STRAHAN. HERE HE IS, THE ONE AND ONLY 318 00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:23,817 CALLED MSX BY MICHAEL STRAHAN. HERE HE IS, THE ONE AND ONLY MICHAEL STRAHAN! 319 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:37,197 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 320 00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:49,809 * >> Jimmy: IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU. 321 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,545 YOU ARE THE BEST THANK YOU. YOU JUST CRUSHED ME YET AGAIN 322 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:55,315 AT GOLF. >> WE HAD FUN. WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. 323 00:21:55,315 --> 00:22:01,187 >> I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE. CAUSE YOU'RE GOOD. 324 00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:03,590 >> Jimmy: NO I WAS NOT GOOD AT ALL. THAT WAS TERRIBLE. 325 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:11,765 THAT WAS AWFUL I DIDN'T GET ONE IN AT ALL IT WAS TERRIBLE. 326 00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,767 >> WE CAN EDIT IT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUDDY, I WANT TO TALK 327 00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:17,137 TO YOU ABOUT A BUNCH OF THINGS BUT FIRST, THE NFL DRAFT IS COMING UP APRIL 29th, AND WHAT 328 00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:21,808 GOES THROUGH, SINCE YOU'VE DONE THIS, WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU'RE KNOWING THAT 329 00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:26,413 YOU'RE GOING TO GET DRAFTED TO A TEAM >> WELL, YOU HOPE. 330 00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,615 LIKE, YOU HOPE YOU GET DRAFTED UNLESS YOU'RE TREVOR LAWRENCE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE 331 00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:30,450 GOING TO GO. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO GO JACKSONVILLE, BUT OTHER THAN 332 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,688 THAT YOU JUST HOPE YOU'RE GOING TO GET DRAFTED YOU'RE PRAYING YOU CAN MAKE 333 00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:38,358 ENOUGH MONEY SO YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS ANYMORE. 334 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:41,561 BUT THEN WHEN YOU GET DRAFTED, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'VE MADE IT. 335 00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:45,298 I THINK THAT'S WHAT A LOT OF YOUNG PLAYERS GET MIXED UP THEY THINK I GOT DRAFTED 336 00:22:45,298 --> 00:22:47,667 I'VE MADE IT LET ME GO GET THE CAR, THE JEWELRY, AND EVERYTHING ELSE 337 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:51,705 THAT COMES WITH IT NO, THAT'S JUST YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO BE IN THE NFL 338 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:55,108 YOU KNOW, YOU HAVEN'T MADE IT. THAT'S WHEN YOUR WORK REALLY STARTS 339 00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:59,612 BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T PUT IN THE WORK, YOU WON'T BE THERE LONG. FOOTBALL CAREERS, EVEN WHEN 340 00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:05,418 THEY ARE LONG, LIKE MINE, I RETIRED AT 36. YOU'VE GOT A LONG LIFE TO LIVE 341 00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,121 AFTERWARDS, HOPEFULLY. SO YOU GOT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MONEY. 342 00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:12,058 SAVE YOUR MONEY, KIDS. SAVE YOUR MONEY. >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. 343 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,593 >> AND PUT IN ALL THE WORK, AND YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT. 344 00:23:13,593 --> 00:23:16,763 PLAIN AND SIMPLE >> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT THE FIRST DAY, GOING INTO 345 00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:22,602 THE LOCKER ROOM FOR THE GIANTS, OR COMING TO NEW YORK? WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER 346 00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:26,139 >> I WAS SCARED AS HELL. I WAS SCARED >> Jimmy: REALLY 347 00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:30,744 >> I'M IN THIS LOCKER ROOM I'M NOT LIKE A BIG GUY, BUT I'M WATCHING THESE GROWN MEN 348 00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:34,214 >> Jimmy: YES, YOU ARE >> I'M NOT A BIG GUY HAVE YOU SEEN SOME OF THESE 349 00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:36,983 GUYS 6'7", 6'8. SOLID MUSCLE 350 00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:41,755 330, 340, 350 POUNDS, AND THEN THE GUYS WHO PLAY MY POSITION, ONE OF THESE GUYS -- HE WAS 351 00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:45,959 SO -- HE HAD MUSCLES COMING OUT OF EVERYWHERE. NECK, EARS, EVERYTHING 352 00:23:45,959 --> 00:23:49,796 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: EAR MUSCLES. >> YEAH, EAR MUSCLES 353 00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,598 AND HE WALKS IN THE LOCKER ROOM, IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'D EVER BEEN THERE WITH THE VETS 354 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,366 AND HE WAS A VET -- HE WALKS IN, AND I JUST REMEMBER LOOKING AT HIM THINKING, HE PLAYS MY 355 00:23:53,366 --> 00:24:01,508 POSITION IF I HAVE TO LOOK LIKE HIM TO PLAY 356 00:24:01,508 --> 00:24:06,046 I MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME. I'M NEVER GOING TO LOOK LIKE THAT 357 00:24:06,046 --> 00:24:08,715 >> Jimmy: REALLY >> IT WAS INTIMIDATING SO I REMEMBER BEING SCARED 358 00:24:08,715 --> 00:24:12,052 I REMEMBER LAWRENCE TAYLOR WALKING INTO THE LOCKER ROOM >> Jimmy: YEAH, LT, MAN. 359 00:24:12,052 --> 00:24:14,487 >> IT WAS LIKE, HE DIDN'T EVEN WALK HE GLIDED IN, LIKE HE WAS ON A 360 00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:18,725 A CONVEYOR BELT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE FLOATED IN. 361 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:23,763 >> HE WAS SUCH A GOD TO ME WITH FOOTBALL SO, YEAH, IT WAS INTIMIDATING. 362 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,665 BUT THE SOONER YOU CAN GET OVER IT AND REALIZE YOU'RE THERE BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE 363 00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:31,204 THERE, THAT YOU BELONG, THEN THE BETTER IT WILL BE FOR YOU. BUT IT'S INTIMIDATING AT FIRST 364 00:24:31,204 --> 00:24:35,909 >> Jimmy: DID YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IN NEW YORK CITY >> NO. 365 00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:38,645 NO THE FIRST TIME I CAME HERE I STAYED IN A MARRIOTT MARQUIS 366 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:42,782 RIGHT IN TIMES SQUARE. I DIDN'T LEAVE MY ROOM UNTIL SOMEBODY CAME AND GOT ME 367 00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:47,087 CAUSE I'M NOT THAT BIG, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: YES, YOU ARE YOU ARE THAT BIG 368 00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:49,089 >> I'M GOING TO BE IN NEW YORK CITY? AND I'M GONNA BE WALKING, 369 00:24:49,089 --> 00:24:52,225 LOOKING AT -- DON'T LOOK UP. I WALKING, LOOKING AT BUILDINGS LIKE THAT -- CAUSE I DON'T WANT 370 00:24:52,225 --> 00:24:55,328 TO LOOK UP I DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE A TOURIST. 371 00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:58,598 THAT'S ALL THE THINGS I HEARD WHEN I CAME HERE FROM TEXAS. LIKE, DON'T LOOK UP. 372 00:24:58,598 --> 00:25:01,334 THEY'RE GOING TO ROB YOU THEY'RE GOING TO MUG YOU [ LAUGHTER ] 373 00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:03,036 SO, I'M LIKE WAITING IN THE HOTEL. YOU COME GET ME. 374 00:25:03,036 --> 00:25:06,306 THEN I'LL LEAVE. CAUSE I'VE GOT SOMEBODY WITH ME TO HELP ME IF I NEEDED HELP. 375 00:25:06,306 --> 00:25:12,312 AND IT WAS INTIMIDATING. I HEAR SOMEBODY'S LAUGHING [ LAUGHTER ] 376 00:25:12,312 --> 00:25:16,516 I'LL BE HONEST I WAS SCARED. IT WAS SCARY >> Jimmy: BUT I THINK YOU'RE 377 00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:20,053 GOOD AT DOING THINGS THAT ARE A LITTLE CHALLENGING I THINK THAT YOU LIKE A GOOD 378 00:25:20,053 --> 00:25:24,824 CHALLENGE. >> YES >> Jimmy: EVEN, LIKE, GOING 379 00:25:24,824 --> 00:25:27,727 INTO "GOOD MORNING AMERICA." YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HOST A A MORNING SHOW, BUT YET YOU HIT 380 00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:31,164 IT OUT OF THE PARK YOU'RE FANTASTIC AT IT >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 381 00:25:31,164 --> 00:25:33,466 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT WAS MORE INTIMIDATING THAN BEING IN THE LOCKER ROOM WITH 382 00:25:33,466 --> 00:25:38,805 THOSE BIG OLD DUDES WALKING IN THERE, MAN >> Jimmy: REALLY 383 00:25:38,805 --> 00:25:42,642 >> YEAH, THAT IS THE HARDEST, MOST CHALLENGING JOB I'VE EVER HAD. 384 00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:44,811 >> Jimmy: REALLY >> FOOTBALL IS CHALLENGING MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. 385 00:25:44,811 --> 00:25:49,082 BUT THIS, JUST THE OVERALL PRESSURE OF IT, YOU FEEL IT A LOT MORE THAN I EVER FELT ON 386 00:25:49,082 --> 00:25:53,253 A FOOTBALL FIELD AND SO, IT'S REALLY HARD TO EXPLAIN, BUT IT CHALLENGED ME 387 00:25:53,253 --> 00:25:55,655 IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAT I NEVER EXPECTED BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT 388 00:25:55,655 --> 00:26:01,661 I CAN SAY I ASPIRED TO DO, BUT NOW I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT I'M SO COMFORTABLE THERE 389 00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:04,297 I LOVE THE NEWS. I LOVE POLITICS. I LOVE, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING 390 00:26:04,297 --> 00:26:09,069 THAT'S INVOLVED WITH IT. I JUST WISH THE NEWS COULD BE A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER AT TIMES. 391 00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:10,770 IT'S KIND OF HARD AT 7:00 A.M. GOING, "WELL, YOU KNOW, TODAY --" IT WEARS ON YOUR 392 00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:18,745 MIND, SOME OF THESE THINGS BUT I WOULDN'T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD. 393 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:22,482 MY CAREER AND WHERE IT HAS TAKEN HAS EXCEEDED ANYTHING I EVER IMAGINED. 394 00:26:22,482 --> 00:26:25,752 >> Jimmy: YOUR CLOTHING LINE HAS TAKEN OFF AS WELL. LAST TIME WE WERE ON WE TALKED 395 00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:29,389 ABOUT -- YOU WERE GIVING SUITS, BY THE WAY, TO VETERANS AND HELPING THEM GET JOBS WHEN THEY 396 00:26:29,389 --> 00:26:34,294 COME OUT OF THE SERVICE. AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN AWESOME THING YOU DID. 397 00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:39,532 >> THANK YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: BUT THIS IS YOUR -- 398 00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:42,836 WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? >> WORK LEISURE, WE CALL IT. >> Jimmy: WORK LEISURE 399 00:26:42,836 --> 00:26:46,306 >> THERE'S ATHLEISURE AND THERE'S TAILORED, WHICH IS, LIKE, SUITS AND TIES 400 00:26:46,306 --> 00:26:48,074 BUT NOT EVERYBODY IS LIKE LEISURE, BUT THEY'RE WORKING BECAUSE THEY'RE WORKING FROM 401 00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:52,178 HOME >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT >> SO, WHAT WE HAVE, WE HAVE 402 00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:58,251 FITTED POLOS WE HAVE COMFORTABLE JOGGERS. AND ALSO, WE HAVE JEANS AND 403 00:26:58,251 --> 00:27:02,355 EVERYTHING ELSE. THROW A JACKET OVER IT YOU CAN SIT IN FRONT OF YOUR 404 00:27:02,355 --> 00:27:04,791 ZOOM YOU CAN DO YOUR THING. TAKE IT OFF, YOU CAN STILL HIT 405 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:07,627 THE STREETS. YOU DON'T TO HAVE CHANGE 20 OUTFITS TO KIND OF WORK NOW, 406 00:27:07,627 --> 00:27:09,929 AND ALSO BE AT HOME. YOU CAN BE COMFORTABLE >> Jimmy: LOOK AT YOUR MODEL 407 00:27:09,929 --> 00:27:13,333 POSES. >> YEAH, YEAH. >> Jimmy: NOW ARE ANY OF THESE 408 00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:18,038 REAL SITUATIONS? >> NO. [ LAUGHTER ] 409 00:27:18,038 --> 00:27:21,307 ALL THAT'S IN THE STUDIO IT IS WEIRD BECAUSE I FELT LIKE "TALLADEGA NIGHTS. 410 00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:24,477 WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS YOU KNOW, YOU JUST KIND OF - SO YOU NOTICE I ALWAYS HAVE 411 00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:27,647 SOMETHING IN MY HANDS EVERY TIME AND THEN WHEN YOU DO THE SUITS, 412 00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:32,585 IT'S WEIRD CAUSE I SAW THAT MEME OF THE ROCK AND HE'S ALWAYS FIXING HIS CUFFS. 413 00:27:32,585 --> 00:27:35,955 LIKE, CAN THE ROCK EVER FIX HIS CUFFS? [ LAUGHTER ] 414 00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:38,458 SO NOW EVERY TIME I'VE GOT A A SUIT, I'M LIKE, "I CAN'T DO THE CUFF THING 415 00:27:38,458 --> 00:27:44,130 THAT'S THE ROCK'S THING. IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE CAUSE, LIKE, A LOT OF PEOPLE 416 00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:47,534 STANDING AROUND. YOU'RE LIKE -- GOT TO LOOK COOL 417 00:27:47,534 --> 00:27:49,369 >> Jimmy: BUT I THINK YOU ALWAYS HAD A LITTLE SOMETHING -- CAUSE WE'VE GOT A 418 00:27:49,369 --> 00:27:52,138 A PHOTO OF YOUNG MICHAEL STRAHAN. >> OH, BOY 419 00:27:52,138 --> 00:27:55,675 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS LITTLE STUD THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT 420 00:27:55,675 --> 00:28:00,547 RIGHT THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S MY MAN. 421 00:28:00,547 --> 00:28:04,184 WALK ME THROUGH THIS DUDE. HOW COOL IS HE >> I'M THE YOUNGEST OF SIX, AND 422 00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:08,088 I WAS TOO YOUNG TO GO TO SCHOOL BUT MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS HAD 423 00:28:08,088 --> 00:28:12,459 SCHOOL PICTURES, AND I CRIED AND TOLD MY MOM I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL CAUSE I WANT SCHOOL 424 00:28:12,459 --> 00:28:15,562 PICTURES SO SHE TOOK ME TO SEARS OR SOMETHING, WHERE THEY USED TO 425 00:28:15,562 --> 00:28:18,231 DO THE SCHOOL PICTURES -- WHERE YOU CAN GET PICTURES AND THAT WAS CONSIDERED MY 426 00:28:18,231 --> 00:28:23,036 SCHOOL PICTURE EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T AT SCHOOL AND YOU COULD TELL I WAS HAPPY 427 00:28:23,036 --> 00:28:27,040 BECAUSE THE GAP IS JUST AN AWFUL -- [ LAUGHTER ] 428 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,310 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ADD THIS TO THE MSX LINE. LEISURE SUITS. 429 00:28:30,310 --> 00:28:33,680 >> THAT'S POLYESTER. DON'T GET NEAR A FLAME [ LAUGHTER ] 430 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,350 >> Jimmy: THIS IS MY MAN MICHAEL STRAHAN, EVERYBODY GIVE IT UP, IN STUDIO. 431 00:28:37,350 --> 00:28:41,254 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CHECK OUT HIS LINE OF MSX CLOTHING AVAILABLE NOW 432 00:28:41,254 --> 00:28:43,623 TIG NOTARO JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND 433 00:28:43,623 --> 00:29:02,442 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A 434 00:29:02,442 --> 00:29:07,280 A VERY TALENTED COMEDIAN WHO HOSTS A WEEKLY PODCAST CALLED "DON'T ASK TIG." 435 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,015 HOSTS A WEEKLY PODCAST CALLED "DON'T ASK TIG." PLEASE WELCOME TIG NOTARO! 436 00:29:10,717 --> 00:29:15,121 * >> Jimmy: LOOK AT US 437 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:17,090 LOOK AT US NOW LOOK AT THIS >> LOOK AT US. 438 00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:20,060 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT US >> IT'S INCREDIBLE >> Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE 439 00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:22,328 UNBELIEVABLE INCREDIBLE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING 440 00:29:22,328 --> 00:29:25,932 BACK TO THE SHOW I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING BECAUSE NOW YOU'RE AN 441 00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:29,869 ACTION STAR, AND SO I FEEL LIKE -- WELL, YOU ARE. YOU'RE IN -- YOU'RE IN 442 00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:33,440 ZACK SNYDER'S "ARMY OF THE DEAD" MOVIE. AND WE TALKED ABOUT THAT 443 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,876 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THEY JUST RELEASED THE TRAILER. 444 00:29:36,876 --> 00:29:40,580 AND ALL ANYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IS HOW MUCH THEY LOVE TIG NOTARO AND HOW TIG NOTARO 445 00:29:40,580 --> 00:29:44,951 IS SEXY AF [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> YES 446 00:29:44,951 --> 00:29:48,221 >> Jimmy: YEAH DID YOU -- LOOK -- THIS PHOTO -- LOOK AT THIS. 447 00:29:48,221 --> 00:29:51,658 YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE CROWD LOVES IT 448 00:29:51,658 --> 00:29:55,795 WHAT IS -- WHAT IS -- WHAT HAS -- WHAT HAS LIFE BEEN LIKE FOR THIS PAST WEEK BEING SEXY 449 00:29:55,795 --> 00:30:00,734 AF >> OH, MY GOSH, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, JIMMY, SINCE -- 450 00:30:00,734 --> 00:30:07,874 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S -- IT'S REALLY BEEN NUTS AROUND HERE SINCE I WAS 451 00:30:07,874 --> 00:30:12,679 TRENDING FOR BEING SEXY AF >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S RIGHT 452 00:30:12,679 --> 00:30:17,617 >> I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "AF" WAS, TO BE HONEST. MY FRIENDS WERE TEXTING ME 453 00:30:17,617 --> 00:30:21,654 IMAGES OF TWITTER. THEY WERE LIKE, "YOU'RE -- YOU'RE TRENDING FOR BEING 454 00:30:21,654 --> 00:30:28,328 BADASS AND SEXY AF." AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IS THAT? [ LAUGHTER ] 455 00:30:28,328 --> 00:30:30,730 >> Jimmy: DUDE, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. THAT'S FUN 456 00:30:30,730 --> 00:30:33,033 THAT'S COOL. HOW IS THE FAMILY? HOW ARE THE KIDS 457 00:30:33,033 --> 00:30:36,636 HOW'S YOUR WIFE? HOW'S EVERYONE >> EVERYBODY'S GOOD. 458 00:30:36,636 --> 00:30:40,974 YEAH YOU KNOW, WE'RE -- >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE THEY INTO 459 00:30:40,974 --> 00:30:47,347 >> GETTING -- WELL, MY WIFE IS INTO ME NOW THAT I'M SEXY AF [ LAUGHTER ] 460 00:30:47,347 --> 00:30:49,182 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WE GOT IT. WE GOT IT. 461 00:30:49,182 --> 00:30:52,952 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT. JESUS. 462 00:30:52,952 --> 00:30:58,558 >> AND YOU KNOW, PUTS A LITTLE FIRE UNDER HER, YOU KNOW, FOR ME TO BE TRENDING FOR SEXY AF 463 00:30:58,558 --> 00:31:00,627 BUT -- >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE HEARD THE FIRST FOUR TIMES 464 00:31:00,627 --> 00:31:02,362 YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT, BUT IT'S GOING TO 465 00:31:02,362 --> 00:31:05,899 COME UP AGAIN. TRUST ME [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 466 00:31:05,899 --> 00:31:11,738 MY -- MY SONS ARE REALLY INTO BASEBALL THEY ARE CRAZY ABOUT IT. 467 00:31:11,738 --> 00:31:16,810 MY -- THEY -- THEY PLAY ALL DAY LONG JUST THROWING THE BALL 468 00:31:16,810 --> 00:31:20,680 HITTIN' -- HITTIN' THE BALL. YOU KNOW, BASEBALL STUFF CATCHING THE BALL. 469 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,982 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S - >> RUNNIN' >> Jimmy: THAT'S BASICALLY 470 00:31:22,982 --> 00:31:24,851 BASEBALL YEAH, ABSOLUTELY >> YEAH. 471 00:31:24,851 --> 00:31:28,888 AND I JUST -- I WATCH ON SEXY AF, OF COURSE. >> Jimmy: OH, MY -- THAT'S 472 00:31:28,888 --> 00:31:36,229 NOT -- >> WE -- WE SIGNED THEM UP FOR LITTLE LEAGUE AND -- 473 00:31:36,229 --> 00:31:39,966 >> Jimmy: HOW OLD ARE THEY >> YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE -- THEY'RE ALMOST 5 474 00:31:39,966 --> 00:31:42,202 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S LITTLE LEAGUE, ACTUALLY I KNOW I LOOK LIKE I SHOULD 475 00:31:42,202 --> 00:31:48,608 KNOW THESE THINGS BUT IT'S JUST T-BALL THEY'RE IN T-BALL. 476 00:31:48,608 --> 00:31:50,677 IS THAT LITTLE LEAGUE? I DON'T KNOW >> Jimmy: NO 477 00:31:50,677 --> 00:31:54,214 BUT YEAH, YEAH >> IT'S -- IT'S A LEAGUE >> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT THOUGH. 478 00:31:54,214 --> 00:31:56,616 THAT'S YOUNG TO -- TO START, ISN'T IT THAT'S AMAZING 479 00:31:56,616 --> 00:31:59,886 >> YEAH. AND THEY'RE REALLY GOOD. THEY BOTH, FIRST DAY, HITTIN' 480 00:31:59,886 --> 00:32:06,593 THE BALL OUT TO CENTERFIELD. AND -- AND ALL THE KIDS ARE GREAT BUT TO BE HONEST, IT WAS 481 00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:12,399 A LITTLE AMUSING, BECAUSE THE TWO GAY MOMS SHOWED UP WITH THE STAR PLAYERS 482 00:32:12,399 --> 00:32:17,804 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S HILARIOUS YEAH, WHY NOT? 483 00:32:17,804 --> 00:32:21,508 I THINK IT'S GREAT >> "WHY NOT" IS EXACTLY OUR POINT. 484 00:32:21,508 --> 00:32:25,578 >> Jimmy: THAT'S - >> A LOT OF BUFF DADS AND THEIR SONS COULDN'T QUITE MAKE 485 00:32:25,578 --> 00:32:29,949 CONTACT WITH THE BALL TO THE BAT. AND WE WERE LIKE, "YEAH" WITH 486 00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:32,552 OUR -- WITH OUR LITTLE ONES. >> Jimmy: ROOTING AGAINST CHILDREN 487 00:32:32,552 --> 00:32:37,691 TIG, I WAS LISTENING TO YOUR PODCAST. >> ALWAYS. 488 00:32:37,691 --> 00:32:40,860 >> Jimmy: "DON'T -- DON'T ASK TIG. AND IT WAS THE ONE -- IT WAS 489 00:32:40,860 --> 00:32:44,998 THE EPISODE -- FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE IT. BASICALLY, YOU TAKE QUESTIONS 490 00:32:44,998 --> 00:32:50,270 FROM FANS AND YOU AND SPECIAL GUESTS GIVE YOUR ADVICE ON ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS. 491 00:32:50,270 --> 00:32:52,672 AND IT'S REALLY FUNNY AND I LOVE IT, BUT - >> NO, I KNOW, I KNOW. 492 00:32:52,672 --> 00:32:55,608 I KNOW HOW THE SHOW GOES >> Jimmy: OH, SORRY. [ LAUGHTER ] 493 00:32:55,608 --> 00:32:57,677 I WAS TALKING TO THEM. I WAS TALKING TO THEM. SORRY. 494 00:32:57,677 --> 00:32:59,479 YEAH >> OH, OH, OKAY. OKAY 495 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:02,682 >> Jimmy: YOU RECENTLY HAD PAULA POUNDSTONE ON. AND AS YOU WERE TALKING TO 496 00:33:02,682 --> 00:33:05,185 PAULA -- >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: GOSH, I LOVE 497 00:33:05,185 --> 00:33:07,921 PAULA TOWNSTONE. AS YOU WERE TALKING ON HER, YOU -- YOUR -- YOUR -- ONE OF 498 00:33:07,921 --> 00:33:11,324 YOUR BOYS STARTS YELLING FOR YOU. AND -- AND - 499 00:33:11,324 --> 00:33:14,828 >> YEAH. HE WAS STUCK ON THE BATHROOM COUNTER. 500 00:33:14,828 --> 00:33:17,897 >> Jimmy: SO, WHAT HAPPENED? HE CLIMBED UP THERE AND THEN GOT NERVOUS? 501 00:33:17,897 --> 00:33:21,267 >> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED LOOK, HE'S A GREAT BASEBALL 502 00:33:21,267 --> 00:33:23,403 PLAYER >> Jimmy: I KNOW WE HEARD THAT. 503 00:33:23,403 --> 00:33:26,906 I KNOW HE IS >> HE GOT A LITTLE -- HE GOT A A LITTLE NERVOUS ON THE 504 00:33:26,906 --> 00:33:29,642 BATHROOM COUNTER I DON'T KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TIME, YOU KNOW 505 00:33:29,642 --> 00:33:32,846 I HAD PAULA POUNDSTONE ON MY SHOW AND -- 506 00:33:32,846 --> 00:33:35,081 >> Jimmy: WHO HAS TIME TO RAISE YOUR KIDS? EXACTLY RIGHT. 507 00:33:35,081 --> 00:33:39,085 >> YEAH, I RAN DOWNSTAIRS, GRABBED HIM OFF THE COUNTER. I WAS LIKE, "DON'T GET ON THE 508 00:33:39,085 --> 00:33:43,923 BATHROOM COUNTER." AND THEN RAN BACK UP, AND, YOU KNOW, DID MY GLOBAL HIT 509 00:33:43,923 --> 00:33:48,595 SENSATION OF A PODCAST, "DON'T ASK TIG. >> Jimmy: YEAH 510 00:33:48,595 --> 00:33:52,866 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT -- YOU ALSO HAVE ANOTHER MOVIE OUT CALLED "TOGETHER TOGETHER," -- 511 00:33:52,866 --> 00:33:55,568 >> YES >> Jimmy: THIS IS WITH ED HELMS AND PATTI HARRISON WHERE YOU 512 00:33:55,568 --> 00:33:59,606 PLAY A THERAPIST AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, IT MAKES SENSE. 513 00:33:59,606 --> 00:34:03,677 YOU DID A LITTLE RESEARCH TO BE A THERAPIST. THAT'S WHAT GOT THE POD -- 514 00:34:03,677 --> 00:34:07,047 WHICH CAME FIRST THE PODCAST OR THE EGG YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 515 00:34:07,047 --> 00:34:11,217 >> NO, THERE WAS NO RESEARCH, JIMMY. PEOPLE -- NOW THAT I'VE -- I'VE 516 00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:18,091 GOTTEN INTO ACTING OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS, PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK HOW I PREPARED FOR ROLES, 517 00:34:18,091 --> 00:34:23,430 AND IF I'M COMPLETELY HONEST, I DON'T. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 518 00:34:23,430 --> 00:34:28,601 MY PREPARATION IS I LEARN MY LINES THE BEST OF MY ABILITY >> Jimmy: WELL, WHEN YOU SHOW 519 00:34:28,601 --> 00:34:32,739 UP AND YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS, YOU DON'T NEED ANY LINES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 520 00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:38,078 BOOM >> SEXY AF >> Jimmy: TIG, CONGRATS ON 521 00:34:38,078 --> 00:34:41,147 EVERYTHING CONGRATS ON THE MOVIES CONGRATS ON THE PODCAST. 522 00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:45,218 WE LOVE YOU AND PLEASE COME BACK WHENEVER, NEXT TIME HOPEFULLY IN PERSON. 523 00:34:45,218 --> 00:34:47,587 TIG NOTARO - >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: CHECK OUT NEW 524 00:34:47,587 --> 00:34:50,557 EPISODES OF HER PODCAST, "DON'T ASK TIG," EVERY WEDNESDAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 525 00:34:50,557 --> 00:34:53,727 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAND-UP FROM EMMY BLOTNICK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. 526 00:34:53,727 --> 00:35:14,214 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 527 00:35:14,214 --> 00:35:19,119 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST HAS HER COMEDY ALBUM "PARTY NIGHTS" AVAILABLE ON APPLE MUSIC 528 00:35:19,119 --> 00:35:28,395 MAKING HER "TONIGHT SHOW" DEBUT, PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY EMMY BLOTNICK! 529 00:35:29,596 --> 00:35:35,969 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> HOLY MOLY 530 00:35:35,969 --> 00:35:38,571 WHOA WHOA IT IS SO GREAT TO BE HERE. 531 00:35:38,571 --> 00:35:41,307 WOW! I FEEL -- I FEEL SO LIGHT. I FEEL FREE. 532 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:45,378 [ CHEERS ] IT'S LIKE -- IT'S LIKE I JUST TOOK MY WEIGHTED BLANKET OFF, 533 00:35:45,378 --> 00:35:49,315 YOU KNOW [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I LOVE THE WEIGHTED BLANKET. 534 00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:52,585 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS ARE INTO THAT, BUT OH, MAN IT'S A BLANKET THAT LITERALLY 535 00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:55,889 DEPRESSES YOU. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT IS SO NICE TO HAVE SOMETHING 536 00:35:55,889 --> 00:36:00,360 TO BLAME FOR WHY YOU CAN'T GET UP [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 537 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,929 THIS BLANKET JUST HOLDS YOU IN PLACE, HOLDS YOU DOWN. IT GOES, "IT'S MY FAULT 538 00:36:02,929 --> 00:36:06,166 TONIGHT. AND YOU GO, "THANK YOU, BLANKET. 539 00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:09,035 [ LAUGHTER ] THEY SAY YOU'RE ABOUT TO CALCULATE 10% OF YOUR BODY 540 00:36:09,035 --> 00:36:14,307 WEIGHT THAT'S HOW HEAVY YOUR BLANKET'S SUPPOSED TO BE BUT I DIDN'T DO 541 00:36:14,307 --> 00:36:17,711 THE MATH I KNOW MYSELF. I HAVE THE DEPRESSION OF A MUCH 542 00:36:17,711 --> 00:36:23,049 LARGER PERSON, AND I WANT TO GET CRUSHED, OKAY? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 543 00:36:23,049 --> 00:36:27,454 I WANT TO FEEL LIKE THE BED IS SLEEPING ON ME [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 544 00:36:27,454 --> 00:36:30,924 I GOT A 20 POUNDER NOT TO BRAG -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 545 00:36:30,924 --> 00:36:34,427 BUT IT'S GOOD. I USED TO GO TO THE GYM AND LIFT 20-POUND WEIGHTS. 546 00:36:34,427 --> 00:36:38,231 NOW I JUST WAIT UNTIL I HAVE TO PEE, AND FIGHT THE BLANKET OFF ME 547 00:36:38,231 --> 00:36:44,070 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU DON'T GET LAID UNDER A A WEIGHTED BLANKET 548 00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:48,675 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU ALL KNEW THAT. JUST A LITTLE PUBLIC SERVICE 549 00:36:48,675 --> 00:36:52,412 ANNOUNCEMENT I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'S ANYONE HERE WHO HAS BOTH A WEIGHTED 550 00:36:52,412 --> 00:36:58,952 BLANKET AND A PARTNER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] MIGHT BE KIND OF A SMALL CENTER 551 00:36:58,952 --> 00:37:00,720 OF THE VENN DIAGRAM. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT YOU'VE GOT TO TRY, YOU 552 00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:04,324 KNOW I TRY. MY FIANCE COMES HOME, AND I'M 553 00:37:04,324 --> 00:37:08,194 LIKE, "PEEL THIS SANDBAG OFF ME [ LAUGHTER ] 554 00:37:08,194 --> 00:37:11,765 DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT KIND OF CORPSE IS STEAMING UNDER HERE?" 555 00:37:11,765 --> 00:37:16,036 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A PRETTY TOUGH SELL, YOU KNOW 556 00:37:16,036 --> 00:37:19,205 'CAUSE EVEN IF HE WANTED TO TAKE THE WEIGHTED BLANKET OFF ME, HE'D STILL HAVE TO GET THE 557 00:37:19,205 --> 00:37:24,678 NIGHT GUARD OUT OF MY MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A WHOLE PROCESS, YOU KNOW 558 00:37:24,678 --> 00:37:28,748 IT'S A STRIP TEASE THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. THE WEIGHTED BLANKET COMES OFF 559 00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:33,820 THE NIGHT GUARD POPS OUT YOU TAKE OFF THE EYE MASK. YOU TAKE OUT THE EAR PLUGS 560 00:37:33,820 --> 00:37:38,058 YOU TAKE OFF THE SNORE STRIP RIP. YOU LEAVE THE HUMIDIFIER ON. 561 00:37:38,058 --> 00:37:39,959 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] YEAH 562 00:37:39,959 --> 00:37:43,697 BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO GET DRY. RIGHT, FELLAS? 563 00:37:43,697 --> 00:37:47,867 OKAY [ LAUGHTER ] DO WE HAVE ANY NIGHT GUARD 564 00:37:47,867 --> 00:37:51,137 WEARERS HERE [ CHEERS ] ARE YOU CLENCHING OR ARE YOU 565 00:37:51,137 --> 00:37:55,608 GRINDING BOTH ME, TOO. 566 00:37:55,608 --> 00:37:59,112 WE'RE FURIOUS. ISN'T THAT FUN [ LAUGHTER ] 567 00:37:59,112 --> 00:38:01,514 OH, MAN. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A NIGHT GUARD IS, IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE 568 00:38:01,514 --> 00:38:08,288 MOUTH PIECE YOU WEAR FOR HOCKEY IF IS THE HOCKEY IN YOUR MIND. AND IT'S GOOD. 569 00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:11,458 YOU KNOW IT DOES THE JOB 'CAUSE THAT ANGER HAS TO GO SOMEWHERE, YOU 570 00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:13,860 KNOW I WANT TO BE NICE DURING THE DAY SO I JUST TAKE ALL MY ANGER 571 00:38:13,860 --> 00:38:17,764 OUT ON MYSELF IN MY SLEEP. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S WHAT I DO 572 00:38:17,764 --> 00:38:20,934 I START MY DAYS. I'M LIKE, "GOOD MORNING. I LOVE YOU 573 00:38:20,934 --> 00:38:24,604 I LOVE MEETINGS. I LOVE WHEN MEN TALK OVER ME IN MEETINGS 574 00:38:24,604 --> 00:38:28,208 [ LAUGHTER ] YES, I SAID IT FIRST, BUT YOU SAID IT TALLER." 575 00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:33,580 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND THEN THE END OF THE DAY, GO HOME, GO TO SLEEP, PUT IN THE 576 00:38:33,580 --> 00:38:37,851 NIGHT GUARD AND JUST GRIND IT OUT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 577 00:38:37,851 --> 00:38:41,588 AS SOON AS I'M ASLEEP, I'M LIKE, "I WILL DESTROY MYSELF IN MY REST. 578 00:38:41,588 --> 00:38:44,324 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND THEN WAKE UP AND GO, "GOOD MORNING. 579 00:38:44,324 --> 00:38:48,294 I LOVE YOU I HAVE A HEADACHE. IT'S HEALTHY 580 00:38:48,294 --> 00:38:55,235 IT'S WELLNESS. I DO FEEL SO BLINDSIDED BY THE NUMBER OF SLEEP ACCESSORIES I 581 00:38:55,235 --> 00:38:58,405 REQUIRE. IT IS MORE THAN I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW 582 00:38:58,405 --> 00:39:02,742 I DIDN'T THINK I'D GROW UP, AND HAVE TO GEAR UP FOR SLEEP. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 583 00:39:02,742 --> 00:39:07,047 I WISH SOMEONE HAD WARNED ME I WISH WHEN I WAS A KID, THERE'D BEEN A SLEEP DISORDER 584 00:39:07,047 --> 00:39:11,017 BARBIE YOU KNOW, JUST TO GET THE IMAGE IN YOUR HEAD 585 00:39:11,017 --> 00:39:13,653 RIGHT? JUST TO SEE LITTLE GIRLS BEING LIKE, "MY BARBIE LIKES 586 00:39:13,653 --> 00:39:18,291 MELATONIN! [ LAUGHTER ] MY BARBIE SMOKES WEED UNTIL 587 00:39:18,291 --> 00:39:21,795 SHE'S TIRED. [ LAUGHTER ] WHOA 588 00:39:21,795 --> 00:39:25,598 KEN SLEEPS IN A SEPARATE BEDROOM. [ LAUGHTER ] 589 00:39:25,598 --> 00:39:28,234 THANK YOU, GUYS, SO MUCH I'M EMMY BLOTNICK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 590 00:39:28,234 --> 00:39:34,574 * >> Jimmy: ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW?" 591 00:39:34,574 --> 00:39:39,379 THAT FELT SO GOOD. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. EMMY BLOTNICK. 592 00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:43,950 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "PARTY NIGHTS" IS AVAILABLE AT APPLE MUSIC. 593 00:39:43,950 --> 00:39:47,053 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 594 00:39:47,053 --> 00:40:07,007 * * >> Jimmy: JOIN US TOMORROW 595 00:40:07,007 --> 00:40:11,111 NIGHT. JANE FONDA AND ROBIN THEDE WILL BE HERE. 596 00:40:11,111 --> 00:40:14,581 AND WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM ALANIS MORISSETTE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 597 00:40:14,581 --> 00:40:18,985 MY THANKS TO MICHAEL STRAHAN, TIG NOTARO EMMY BLOTNICK, THAT'S HOW YOU 598 00:40:18,985 --> 00:40:22,389 DO IT RIGHT THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CRUSHED IT 599 00:40:22,389 --> 00:40:27,894 AND THE ROOTS OVER THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 600 00:40:27,894 --> 00:40:30,196 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY 601 00:40:30,196 --> 00:40:30,196 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *