1 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,910 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,346 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:20,887 TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ICE T, 4 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:26,960 MIKE BIRBIGLIA COMEDIAN, ORLANDO LEYBA, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:35,802 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1442 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE IS, 6 00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:36,803 >> Questlove: 1442 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:46,346 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 8 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:59,659 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH 9 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:05,198 OH, MY GOODNESS! PLEASE, THANK YOU, HAVE A SEAT WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, 10 00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,734 WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE 11 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,671 THANKS FOR WATCHING. PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELF, ENJOY YOURSELF 12 00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:16,810 LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS WELL, GUYS, TODAY THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED MAJOR 13 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:21,147 SANCTIONS AGAINST RUSSIA FOR CYBER ATTACKS AND ELECTION INTERFERENCE 14 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,650 YEAH THIS IS ALL IN RESPONSE TO RUSSIA'S REPEATED HACKING. 15 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:28,455 TODAY BIDEN TOLD AMERICANS, "REST ASSURED, WHEN YOU LOG ON TO NETSCAPE -- 16 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:38,298 [ LAUGHTER ] AND CHECK YOUR AOL ACCOUNT, JACK, IT'LL BE SECURE. 17 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:42,435 WHEN ASKED IF HE WAS SURPRISED BY THE SANCTIONS, PUTIN SAID, "NO, I HACKED EMAIL, SO ON 18 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:48,108 SCHEDULE LAST WEEK." YEP, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION SANCTIONED SIX RUSSIAN TECH 19 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:52,112 COMPANIES INCLUDING THEIR POPULAR STREAMING SERVICE, NYETFLIX 20 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,782 [ AUDIENCE GROANS >> Steve: NYETFLIX THAT'S NO -- THAT'S GREAT. 21 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,184 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. BUT THE KREMLIN SAYS ANY 22 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:02,355 U.S. SANCTIONS ARE ILLEGAL I LIKE HOW THE COUNTRY THAT POISONS PEOPLE'S UNDERPANTS IS 23 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:06,159 LIKE, "NO, HEY, NO, THAT'S NOT FAIR." YEAH, THE SANCTIONS ARE PRETTY 24 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:10,530 HARSH, CONSIDERING OUR PAST RESPONSE TO ELECTION INTERFERENCE WAS A LETTER THAT 25 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:15,468 SAID "UM, NO BIGGIE IF YOU CAN'T BUT COULD YOU NOT. [ LAUGHTER ] 26 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,437 SOME MORE NEWS OUT OF WASHINGTON TODAY, CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS 27 00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:22,776 INTRODUCED A BILL TO EXPAND THE SUPREME COURT FROM 9 TO 13 JUSTICES. 28 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,512 DEMOCRATS ARE THINKING AMERICANS HAVE GONE UP FOUR SIZES IN THE LAST YEAR, WHY NOT 29 00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:30,984 THE COURT, TOO [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, THE SUPREME COURT 30 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,386 BENCH ONLY FITS NINE PEOPLE. SO IF THIS GOES THROUGH THEY'RE GONNA ADD A SMALL FOLDING TABLE 31 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:37,323 ON THE END LIKE IT'S THANKSGIVING WELL, THIS IS BIG. 32 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,225 TODAY THE CEO OF PFIZER SAID PEOPLE WILL LIKELY NEED A THIRD BOOSTER DOSE WITHIN 12 MONTHS 33 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:46,966 OF BEING FULLY VACCINATED. MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER YEAR OF 34 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:52,205 VACCINE SELFIES. [ LAUGHTER ] ANOTHER DOSE 35 00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:54,274 AT THIS POINT PEOPLE ARE THINKING, "YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW IT 36 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,644 I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES WITH THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON. [ LAUGHTER ] 37 00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:01,715 YEAH, AMERICANS ARE LIKE, "I WANT MY LIFE TO BE SAVED, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I'D HAVE TO GO TO 38 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:07,287 RITE AID THREE TIMES." [ LAUGHTER ] SOME TRAVEL NEWS 39 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,557 A NEW CDC STUDY FOUND THAT BLOCKING MIDDLE SEATS ON AIRPLANES REDUCES THE RISK OF 40 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:14,928 COVID EXPOSURE MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT REDUCES THE RISK OF YOU HAVING TO HEAR, 41 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:21,801 "HI, I'M COREY." [ LAUGHTER ] I WISH I HAD HEADPHONES. 42 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:26,406 I WOULD PUT THEM ON. I THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL MEN WHEN I SAY FORGET THE MIDDLE 43 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:31,644 SEAT, LET'S FOCUS ON BLOCKING OUT THE MIDDLE URINAL. >> Steve: YEAH 44 00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:33,747 >> Jimmy: THAT'S TOO CLOSE THAT'S - >> Steve: COME ON. 45 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:37,083 >> Jimmy: YOU GOTTA GO SIDEWAYS WHAT ARE WE -- 46 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:42,088 LET'S JUST PEE IN THE SAME URINAL WELL, GUYS, THE SUMMER OLYMPICS 47 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:46,493 ARE IN LESS THAN 100 DAYS, AND RALPH LAUREN JUST UNVEILED TEAM USA'S CLOSING CEREMONY 48 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,763 UNIFORMS TAKE A LOOK. YEAH 49 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,932 THERE THEY ARE YOUR OLYMPIC ATHLETES. OH, HANG ON. 50 00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:56,002 ACTUALLY, THEY'RE HERE TO SET UP YOUR CABANA BY THE POOL [ LAUGHTER ] 51 00:03:56,002 --> 00:04:01,241 THE OUTRAGE IS COMING. CAN WE SEE THAT PICTURE AGAIN? [ LAUGHTER ] 52 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,044 THOSE UNIFORMS LOOK LIKE THEY'RE GONNA TELL ME ABOUT THEIR SUMMER ABROAD. 53 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,580 [ LAUGHTER ] IT LOOKS LIKE AN AD FOR A NEW SITCOM CALLED, "LET ME SPEAK TO 54 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,185 YOUR MANAGER." [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, TEAM CANADA ALSO 55 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,254 DEBUTED THEIR OUTFITS, AND THE JACKETS ARE GETTING SOME ATTENTION. 56 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:18,625 LOOK AT THIS YEAH I KNOW WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO 57 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:22,328 VISIT CANADA FOR A YEAR, BUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED UP THERE? 58 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:26,700 [ LAUGHTER ] DENIM JACKET'S CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING -- THEY JUST GOT THE 59 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:31,738 BREAKFAST CLUB IN CANADA * DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME * 60 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:36,776 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SPEAKING OF OUR NEIGHBORS TO THE NORTH, 61 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:41,147 YESTERDAY A CANADIAN LAWMAKER WAS CAUGHT IN THE NUDE DURING A VIRTUAL MEETING. 62 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:46,086 HERE'S A PHOTO OH [ AUDIENCE OHS ] 63 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:52,392 BEING NAKED AT HOME IS ONE THING. BUT THAT GUY WAS IN HIS OFFICE 64 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:57,097 HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN PEOPLE ALERTED HIM RIGHT AFTER THEY TOOK A MILLION SCREEN 65 00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,433 SHOTS. [ LAUGHTER ] BEFORE PUTTING ON PANTS, HE WAS 66 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:05,138 LIKE, "IT'S COLD HERE TODAY IN CANADA, ISN'T IT COLD 67 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:09,209 EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW COLD IT IS." SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS. 68 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:13,947 THE NEW TRAILER FOR THE LATEST FAST AND FURIOUS MOVIE, "F-9," CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND IT LOOKS 69 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,851 LIKE IT'S STILL THE SAME FAST AND FURIOUS THAT WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE 70 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:18,284 AND FURIOUS THAT WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE CHECK IT OUT 71 00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:26,693 IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY. EXCEPT FRIENDS 72 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:31,197 BUT WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE YOUR FAMILY, THAT MAKES THEM DOUBLE FAMILY 73 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,667 THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN LIFE IS FRIENDS BEING FAMILY BEING FRIENDS WHILE ALSO BEING 74 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:40,140 FAMILY, AKA FRIENDS, AKA FAMILY FRAMILY IS WHAT I CALL MY 75 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:45,478 FRIENDS FAMILY AND I'D DO ANYTHING FOR MY FRAMILY OR MY FENDS WHICH IS 76 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:48,748 WHAT I CALL MY FRIENDS' FAMILY'S FRIENDS NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY 77 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:54,387 LET'S DRIVE CARS REAL FAST [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW! 78 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:59,893 I GOTTA GO SEE THAT WITH MY FRAMILY. WELL, THIS IS INTERESTING. 79 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,896 BILLIONS OF CICADAS WILL EMERGE ACROSS THE U.S. NEXT MONTH SO A COMPANY IS SELLING 80 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:07,267 A WEARABLE BUG SCREEN POD FOR $89. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING. 81 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,837 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH THAT'S A BUG SCREEN AND 82 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:16,242 DEFINITELY NOT A GUY WHO JUST CUT ARM HOLES IN HIS HAMPER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 83 00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:20,580 AND FINALLY, A COUPLE IN AUSTRALIA WAS SHOCKED TO FIND A LIVE VENOMOUS SNAKE IN A BAG 84 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,551 OF LETTUCE THEY BOUGHT AT THE SUPERMARKET. LOOK AT THIS THING 85 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,287 >> Questlove: OH >> Jimmy: YEAH AUSTRALIA WAS LIKE, WE SEE YOUR 86 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:32,425 SHRIMP TAIL, AMERICA, AND RAISE YOU A LIVE SNAKE [ LAUGHTER ] 87 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,294 MEANWHILE, IF YOU COUNT THE CANADIAN LAWMAKERS, THAT'S TWO SURPRISE SNAKES. 88 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:38,098 >> Steve: WOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 89 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,299 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY! 90 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:40,767 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 91 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:56,883 * >> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. 92 00:06:56,883 --> 00:07:00,620 HE STARS IN THE NBC SERIES "LAW AND ORDER: SVU." ICE T IS HERE. 93 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:08,294 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HIM ON HIS VIRTUAL COMEDY SHOW WORLDWIDE 94 00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:14,768 COMEDY PIZZA PARTY, MIKE BIRBIGLIA IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 95 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,504 AND ALSO JOINING US IN STUDIO - >> Steve: COME ON! 96 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,439 >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. HE'S IN STUDIO 97 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,942 I LOVE THIS GUY. HE'S -- NOT ONLY IS HE SO FUNNY, HE'S DOING SO MUCH FOR 98 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:26,346 GETTING THE VACCINE OUT THERE AND WORKING WITH CORPS HE'S DOING SUCH GREAT STUFF. 99 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,249 I JUST LOVE THIS DUDE. HE'S SUPER FUNNY ORLANDO LEYBA IS HERE, LADIES 100 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,051 AND GENTLEMEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN A LITTLE LATER IN THE 101 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:39,592 SHOW, WE HAVE AN ALL NEW "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." SO, IT'S GOING TO BE FUN 102 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:44,497 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GUYS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH TWITCH 103 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:47,067 IT'S A STREAMING SERVICE WHERE YOU CAN WATCH PEOPLE PLAY VIDEO GAMES LIVE 104 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:52,806 IT'S REALLY COOL SO I DECIDED TO GIVE IT A TRY WITH A GAME CALLED AMONG US. 105 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:57,477 I'VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, AND I WANTED TO LEARN -- SOME OF YOU HAVE PLAYED IT, I GUESS. 106 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,046 I WANTED TO LEARN FROM THE BEST, SO I INVITED SOME NEW FRIENDS, SOME OLD FRIENDS AND 107 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:04,551 WE PLAYED TO RAISE MONEY FOR FEEDING AMERICA. TAKE A LOOK. 108 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,755 I'M HANGING OUT WITH GATEN MATARAZZO. AND WE DECIDED TO PLAY AMONG US 109 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:13,460 WITH A FEW FRIENDS IT'S AN ONLINE GAME WHERE YOU'RE EITHER A CREW MATE 110 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:17,197 TRYING TO FINISH TASKS OR AN IMPOSTER TRYING TO SECRETLY ELIMINATE THE CREW 111 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:20,500 WE'RE DOING THIS TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE CHARITY, FEEDING AMERICA. 112 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,704 PLEASE DONATE IF YOU CAN ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS >> YES 113 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:30,076 * >> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS. WE'RE GONNA PLAY A FEW ROUNDS 114 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,346 OF AMONG US. PLAYING WITH ME TODAY, PLEASE WELCOME, FROM STRANGER THINGS, 115 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:38,084 GATEN MATARAZZO AND NOAH SCHNAPP FROM THE ROOTS, WE HAVE 116 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:42,455 TARIQ TROTTER, QUESTLOVE, AND KIRK DOUGLAS FROM THE AMONG US TEAM, 117 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:50,196 VICTORIA TRAN. AND WE HAVE STREAMING ICONS, SYKKUNO, VALKYRAE AND, OF 118 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:54,801 COURSE, CORPSE HUSBAND >> HELLO >> Jimmy: GUYS, HERE WE GO 119 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:57,737 WHERE AM I OH, I'M THE BLUE I WENT NAKED 120 00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:03,543 I'M SMURFING IT OUT. >> YOU'RE NAKED. >> SMURF 121 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,012 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. I'M NERVOUS. >> DON'T WORRY, JIMMY. 122 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:08,448 >> DON'T WORRY, JIMMY. WE GOT YOU >> THESE GUYS BOTHERING YOU, 123 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:11,718 JIMMY? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> WHY'D YOU STAND ON A VENT 124 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,020 WAIT, WHY'D YOU STAND ON A A VENT >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T STAND ON 125 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,122 A VENT STOP FOLLOWING ME, MAN >> YOU WALKED RIGHT ON TOP OF 126 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,258 IT >> Jimmy: GET AWAY FROM ME >> WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP YOU 127 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,226 ALIVE. >> Jimmy: EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM ME. 128 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,861 WHAT'S GOING ON? LET ME BE. OH MY GOSH 129 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,730 NO NO >> WHAT'S HAPPENING? 130 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,232 >> I THINK HE'S THE IMPOSTER >> Jimmy: DON'T KILL ME, PLEASE 131 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,035 PLEASE >> JIMMY'S THE IMPOSTER. >> I'M THINKING HE'S THE 132 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,037 IMPOSTER >> Tariq: JIMMY'S DEFINITELY THE IMPOSTER 133 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,573 >> WHAT COLOR IS YOUR NAME WHAT COLOR IS YOUR NAME? >> Jimmy: STOP FOLLOWING ME. 134 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,775 EVERYONE, STOP IT. >> THEY'RE ALL MAKING JIMMY SUPER NERVOUS. 135 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,111 >> Jimmy: I'M ACTUALLY -- ALMOST STARTED CRYING RIGHT THERE. 136 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:45,952 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, NO. >> WHO'S DEAD? 137 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:50,357 >> SOMEONE KILLED RAE. >> MY GOD, NOT RAE >> Jimmy: RAE? 138 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:53,960 ALRIGHT, I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S TARIQ. >> Tariq: IT DEFINITELY WASN'T 139 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,062 ME >> WAIT, WHY >> Jimmy: WELL, WHY'D YOU VOTE 140 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,331 FIRST THEN >> JUST BECAUSE I SAW GATEN, LIKE, HANGING OUT. 141 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,533 >> YOU VOTED FOR ME? >> Tariq: HE WAS BEING REAL RANDOM, LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO 142 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,370 PRANK SOMEBODY [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU GUYS, VOTE TARIQ 143 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,806 OR HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU ALL. >> OH, GOD >> Tariq: WOW! 144 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:13,279 >> Jimmy: WOW. >> HE WAS INNOCENT >> Y'ALL DID ME DIRTY. 145 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,783 >> Jimmy: KIRK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THAT VENT OH, KIRK, NO 146 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,620 OH, NO OH MY GOSH >> I GET THE FEELING THAT IT 147 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,789 MIGHT BE KIRK. >> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH GUYS, EMERGENCY MEETING. 148 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,725 >> I'M TELLING YOU, MAN. IT'S KIRK. >> Jimmy: KIRK ALL THE WAY, 149 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,894 DUDE >> WAIT, WHY >> Jimmy: FLIP DOWN THE WALL 150 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:31,164 HE'S LIKE, "OH, WE VENTED! >> IT SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE JIMMY. 151 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,800 >> Jimmy: NO, MAN, I NEVER SAW ANYONE GO DOWN THE VENT. >> YOU'RE PROJECTING, JIMMY. 152 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,802 >> I VOTED FOR KIRK. >> I'M THINKING IT MIGHT BE JIMMY. 153 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,737 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS LOOK AT THIS WATCH THIS 154 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:41,975 WHAT A DIFFERENT GAME WE PLAYED KIRK, WHOA 155 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,277 >> HE WAS LYING. >> ALL RIGHT THIS MEANS JIMMY'S INNOCENT, 156 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:47,113 RIGHT? >> I NEVER DOUBTED HIM >> LET'S STICK TOGETHER. 157 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:50,216 >> I'M SO CONFUSED >> HI, NOAH. >> HI, GATEN 158 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:54,487 >> WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? >> OH, GOD, THE DOORS! WHO CLOSED THE DOORS 159 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:59,192 >> WHY'S IT LOCKED >> THE DOORS ARE LOCKED! >> OH! 160 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:02,128 >> Jimmy: AM I DEAD OR AM I IN THE VENTS PLAYING AROUND WAITING FOR YOU GUYS 161 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:05,065 >> OH, MY GOD. >> WAIT, WHAT. >> OH, MY GOD, JIMMY JUST 162 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,600 VENTED >> JIMMY JUST VENTED >> JIMMY JUST VENTED 163 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,070 >> HE JUST VENTED. >> JIMMY JUST VENTED >> JIMMY JUST VENTED 164 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,572 >> IS JIMMY THE OTHER ONE? >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT >> JIMMY, YOU JUST GAVE 165 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:15,475 YOURSELF AWAY. >> LOOK, LOOK, NOW THAT WE'VE ALL VOTED, JIMMY DIDN'T 166 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:21,114 ACTUALLY VENT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ACTUALLY VENT 167 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:29,422 >> IT WASN'T JIMMY >> OH MY GOSH! >> IT WAS NOAH 168 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,092 >> Jimmy: NOAH, ARE YOU JOKING ME >> GOOD JOB, NOAH. 169 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:36,096 >> NOAH, GOOD JOB. THAT WAS REAL GOOD >> YOU SHOULD BE AN ACTOR. 170 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:40,200 >> Jimmy: ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO. THIS ONE IS FOR REAL ALRIGHT, NO MORE PRACTICE. 171 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,969 >> MORE PRACTICE >> Jimmy: I JUST WANT TO WITNESS A MURDER 172 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:54,814 >> SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE. SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE HERE. >> OH! 173 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:58,018 >> Tariq: YO, I SAW MY MURDER. >> Jimmy: YOU DEAD >> Tariq: SOMEONE DECAPITATED 174 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:01,721 ME >> Jimmy: YOU GUYS ALL HANGING OUT? 175 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:06,092 >> TRUST >> Jimmy: TRUST IN THE BATHROOM, DUDE 176 00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:09,162 JUST EVERYONE STAND ON TOP OF EACH OTHER [ LAUGHTER ] 177 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:13,400 >> WHY ARE WE ALL HERE >> Jimmy: BECAUSE WE ALL GOTTA TRUST EACH OTHER 178 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,602 AND UNDERSTAND THAT WE'RE A TEAM >> THIS GAME IS GETTING VERY 179 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:25,578 CLICKISH [ LAUGHTER ] >> KIRK'S DEAD 180 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:30,817 KIRK'S DEAD. >> THEY KILLED ME. >> Tariq: THE ROOTS ARE DEAD 181 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,887 >> THE MURDERER IS WEARING GLASSES RIGHT NOW. >> IT'S NOT ME 182 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,090 >> I THINK IT'S SYKKUNO. >> WHAT? >> Tariq: RAE'S THE MURDERER 183 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,092 >> I THINK THAT IT MIGHT BE RAE. >> >> Tariq: RAE 184 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:43,129 >> RAE >> RAE >> OH, SO YOU'RE JUST CHANTING 185 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:48,468 RAE, RAE, RAE. >> OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS VOTED FOR ME 186 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,104 >> OH GOD. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT'S NOT SYKKUNO 187 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:55,475 ARE YOU JOKING >> YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY. OH, JESUS. 188 00:12:55,475 --> 00:13:00,547 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. TWO IMPOSTERS REMAIN >> IT'S NOT RAE. 189 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:05,251 THEY'RE TROLLING >> RAE, I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR GLASSES REFLECTION 190 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:10,523 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: CORPSE, MAN, HE'S ON FIRE TONIGHT 191 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:14,060 >> BINGUS. >> NOAH, COME HERE COME TO THIS DEEP DARK CORNER. 192 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:19,132 [ LAUGHTER ] >> RAE >> OH, MY GOD. 193 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,168 IT WAS RAE >> Tariq: RAE TOOK A KNIFE AND DECAPITATED MY HEAD OFF, 194 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:27,073 VIOLENTLY. >> Jimmy: AND THEN LAUGHED AT IT 195 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,509 >> RAE BROUGHT ME INTO A CORNER AND KILLED ME. >> I'M SORRY 196 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:33,880 I'M SORRY. >> Jimmy: GAME OVER. THANK YOU GUYS FOR PLAYING 197 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:38,418 THANKS FOR RAISING A LOT OF MONEY FOR FEEDING AMERICA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 198 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:41,254 IT WAS FUN, MAN. I LIKE PLAYING WITH THOSE GUYS MY THANKS AGAIN TO 199 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:49,229 GATEN MATARAZZO, NOAH SCHNAPP, VICTORIA TRAN, SYKKUNO, VALKYRAE, CORPSE HUSBAND, AND 200 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,499 OF COURSE, QUESTLOVE, TARIQ AND KIRK STICK AROUND 201 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,367 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS," EVERYBODY. 202 00:13:54,367 --> 00:14:13,153 COME ON BACK * >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, GUYS 203 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,055 IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO 204 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:26,466 HASHTAGS * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WE -- WE DO THIS 205 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:30,403 THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND I ASK TO YOU RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. 206 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:35,075 SO SINCE THE OSCARS ARE COMING UP, I SENT OUT THE HASHTAG, DESCRIBE A MOVIE BADLY 207 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:38,345 ANDI ASKED YOU GUYS TO TAKE A MOVIE AND GIVE IT A FUNNY OR WEIRD SUMMARY. 208 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,081 WITHIN MINUTES IT WAS A TRENDING TOPIC SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 209 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,982 PLAYING ALONG. I APPRECIATE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 210 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:47,153 WE DO IT EVERY WEEK. SO NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE "DESCRIBE A 211 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,889 A MOVIE BADLY" RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS THIS FIRST ONE'S FROM 212 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,560 @DRDEMONIC [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] DO YOU THINK IT WAS 213 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,729 DR. DEMENTOR >> Steve: I DID THINK IT WAS DR. DEMENTOR 214 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,131 >> Jimmy: NO, IT'S NOT >> Steve: TWERP. >> Jimmy: IT WAS DRDEMONIC 215 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:02,035 HE SAID "HARRY POTTER, 11-YEAR-OLD ORPHAN GETS KIDNAPPED, SENT TO MAGIC CAMP 216 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:07,640 AND ENDS UP MURDERING ONE OF HIS COUNSELORS." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 217 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,578 THIS SOMEONE FROM @THEHENRYKANE. HE SAYS, "'CAST AWAY.' 218 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,881 TOM HANKS TAKES SOCIAL DISTANCING TO THE EXTREME. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 219 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,384 WAY AHEAD OF HIS TIME IN THAT ONE. >> Steve: YEAH, WAY. 220 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:21,588 >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @STAGOSAURUS HE SAYS, "'STAR WARS.' A 221 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:26,493 A DEADBEAT DAD TRIES TO RECONNECT WITH HIS KIDS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 222 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,062 SO GOOD. >> Steve: "LUKE, I OWE YOU CHILD SUPPORT. 223 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:32,499 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: "I SHOULD HAVE CAME TO YOUR LITTLE LEAGUE GAMES. 224 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:39,339 [ LAUGHTER ] THIS ONE'S FROM @PATTIMUIRIN WHO WAS -- SHE WAS THE ORIGINAL 225 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:43,610 PRINCESS ANNA IN "FROZEN" ON BROADWAY SHE SAYS "'FROZEN,' WOMAN 226 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:47,547 ACCIDENTALLY CAUSES A DEADLY ICE AGE AND IN RESPONSE MAKES HERSELF A COOL DRESS INSTEAD OF 227 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,817 SAVING HUMANITY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S GOOD. 228 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:56,856 THANKS, PATTI. THIS ONE'S FROM @ARGENTA47 SHE SAYS, "'A CHARLIE BROWN 229 00:15:56,856 --> 00:16:00,560 THANKSGIVING,' UNSUPERVISED CHILDREN SIT DOWN FOR A MEAL PREPARED BY THEIR DOG. 230 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,930 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WAIT A MINUTE. YEAH 231 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:10,470 YOU'RE RIGHT [ INDISCERNIBLE >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM 232 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,641 @1668LEAH. SHE SAYS, "'THELMA & LOUISE. SLEEP WITH BRAD PITT 233 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:21,147 BUCKET LIST DONE THROW SELF OFF CLIFF." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 234 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,951 THIS ONE IS FROM @MAURICEGOSFIELD HE SAYS, "'FIGHT CLUB. 235 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:28,621 YOU CAN'T REALLY SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS FILM. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 236 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:33,626 THAT'S GOOD THINKING THIS ONE IS FROM @JAMESPOYSER. >> Steve: WHAT 237 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:38,231 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "'ALMOST FAMOUS. 238 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,967 MY HOMIE IS SCARED OF A LITTLE MID-AIR TURBULENCE, HE ADMITS HE'S A TERRIBLE DRIVER." 239 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,937 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A FAN OF MY MOVIES, DUDE 240 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:54,214 [ LAUGHTER ] NOW THIS ONE IS FROM @ISRAEL >> Steve: @ISRAEL. 241 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,616 >> Jimmy: THIS IS ACTUALLY THE STATE OF ISRAEL'S OFFICIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT. 242 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,686 >> Steve: OH, OKAY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SO THEY PLAYED THE 243 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,856 GAME >> Steve: GOD BLESS THEM >> Jimmy: ISRAEL IS WATCHING 244 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:07,060 HELLO AND THANK YOU FOR PLAYING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 245 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,230 SO LET'S HELP THEM OUT ON THIS 'CAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ONE. 246 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:15,402 I THINK IT IS A SHOW OR A MOVIE. LIKE AN ISRAELI SHOW 247 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:18,038 SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF THIS IS FUNNY OR NOT BUT LET'S LAUGH AT IT. 248 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,674 >> Steve: ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY 249 00:17:20,674 --> 00:17:23,276 >> Jimmy: 'FAUDA --' [ CHEERS ] NO, NO 250 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:27,147 I DIDN'T FINISH YET. WAIT, LET ME FINISH. [ LAUGHTER ] 251 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,215 OH, DO YOU KNOW 'FAUDA'? >> Steve: YEAH >> Audience: YEAH. 252 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:33,053 >> Jimmy: OH SO YOU'RE REALLY LAUGH AT THIS OKAY, GOOD 253 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:37,090 [ LAUGHTER ] "'FAUDA' MEETS 'EDWARD SCISSORHANDS' MEETS 254 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:42,328 'WESTSIDE STORY.'" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE * 255 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:46,066 I LOVE IT. >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT AND THANK 256 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:49,336 YOU FOR PLAYING. [ LAUGHTER ] DID IT MAKE SENSE? 257 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:52,405 >> Audience: YEAH. >> Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD YES AND NO 258 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,241 THE NEXT PERSON NEXT TO THAT PERSON SAID NO >> Steve: NOW THEY'RE GOING TO 259 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,110 FIGHT AFTERWARDS [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS IS FROM 260 00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:01,047 MARISAROSIE22. SHE SAID, "'FAST AND FURIOUS.' A BALD GUY TEAMS WITH A BALD 261 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:07,420 GUY TO FIGHT A BALD GUY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS LAST ONE'S FROM 262 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,724 @JOFFERYHMUSIC HE SAYS, "'GREASE. 'HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL' BUT 263 00:18:10,724 --> 00:18:12,726 THEY'RE 30." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU GO 264 00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,228 THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR 265 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:22,335 FAVORITES GO TO TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS WE'LL BE BACK WITH ICE T 266 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:39,486 >> Steve: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 267 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,654 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST STARS ON THE VERY POPULAR LONG RUNNING TELEVISION SERIES 268 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:46,593 "LAW & ORDER: SVU. YOU CAN SEE SEASON 22 AIRING THURSDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. RIGHT 269 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:52,365 HERE ON NBC. AND HIS BAND BODY COUNT RECENTLY WON THEIR FIRST GRAMMY 270 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,136 FOR BEST METAL PERFORMANCE HERE'S THE MULTI-TALENTED ICE T! 271 00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,340 * >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BUDDY 272 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:05,245 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SO GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> 'SUP, JIMMY 273 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:08,448 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THE SHOW I APPRECIATE IT. 274 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:11,284 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR GRAMMY WIN FOR BODY COUNT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT 275 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:15,422 "LAW & ORDER." BUT FIRST OF ALL, HOW IS THE FAMILY DOING 276 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:21,461 HOW IS THE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER? HOW'S THE DOGS >> I REALLY CAN'T COMPLAIN 277 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,864 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE. WE HAD A BRUSH WITH COVID, WITH 278 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:31,104 COC'S DAD, BUT AFTER THAT EVERYBODY GOT IT TOGETHER. NOBODY IS SICK 279 00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:36,242 WE HAVE TWO ADDITIONAL DOGS. OUR TWO DOGS HAD PUPPIES WE GAVE THEM ALL AWAY AND ENDED 280 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:44,117 UP KEEPING TWO SO NOW I HAVE FOUR DOGS. SO, THERE'S WHAT 281 00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:47,087 AT NIGHT MY BED IS LIKE LION COUNTRY SAFARI BECAUSE ALL THE DOGS GET IN IT 282 00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:50,957 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S PRETTY INTERESTING. >> Jimmy: YEAH 283 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:55,128 IT MUST BE A PACKED BED, RIGHT DOES THE BABY COME IN, TOO >> YEAH, YEAH. 284 00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:59,265 SHE HAS HER OWN ROOM, HER OWN BED BUT SHE PREFERS TO SLEEP BETWEEN MOM AND DAD STILL, YOU 285 00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:03,303 KNOW AND WE LOVE IT, TOO, SO IT'S ALL GOOD 286 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:07,774 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON THE BIG GRAMMY WIN FOR BODY COUNT. 287 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,542 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT. THAT'S GREAT 288 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:13,813 BEST METAL PERFORMANCE CONGRATS >> I THINK I WAS MOST SURPRISED 289 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:17,350 OUT OF EVERYBODY BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, ANYBODY WHO KNOWS BODY COUNT HISTORY, WE'RE 290 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:21,755 HARDCORE WE NEVER GAVE IN YOU KNOW, WE GOT NOMINATED A 291 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,456 A COUPLE YEARS AGO FOR "BLACK HOODIE" WHICH WAS A A TRAYVON MARTIN -- DEDICATED 292 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:31,931 TO HIM AND THEN WE CAME BACK WITH THIS YEAR, WHICH IS THE "BUM-RUSH," 293 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:36,503 WHICH WON THE AWARD, WHICH WAS JUST ABOUT THE UPRISING. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 294 00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:40,974 WE KIND OF PREDICTED IT. AND THE GRAMMYS TO ME RHYME WITH POP 295 00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:48,581 I'M JUST LIKE, GRAMMYS ARE POP SO THE FACT, BODY COUNT, LIKE THE WORST GROUP, GOT A GRAMMY. 296 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,751 MY MIND WAS TOTALLY BLOWN. LIKE, I WAS LIKE, "WHAT? I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS AN 297 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:56,022 IMPOSSIBILITY. >> Jimmy: YOU FOUND OUT OVER ZOOM 298 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,058 OBVIOUSLY. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BECAUSE OF COVID 299 00:20:58,058 --> 00:21:01,361 RESTRICTIONS BUT IT'S KIND OF A GREAT MOMENT 300 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,596 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. >> OH, YOU GOT IT. OKAY 301 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:06,399 >> AND THE GRAMMY GOES TO -- BODY COUNT >> OH! 302 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:14,708 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH MY GOD [ LAUGHTER ] 303 00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:17,077 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THAT COME ON! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 304 00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:23,249 SHE'S SO CUTE, MAN I LOVE CHANEL. >> I MEAN PEOPLE THINK THESE 305 00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:27,687 AWARDS -- YOU REALLY ARE SURPRISED. YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE ONE OF THOSE 306 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,256 PEOPLE, THAT WAS LIKE, AWARD, AWARD, AWARD, THEN THEY SAY "YOU'RE NOMINATED. 307 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:33,893 YOU'RE LIKE, "I'M NOMINATED? [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN EVERYTHING CHANGES. 308 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,295 >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. >> AND THEN YOU GET COMPETITIVE. 309 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,497 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT THEN YOU GO, I CAN'T WIN, I CAN'T WIN 310 00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:39,132 AND WHEN YOU WIN, IT'S A A REAL -- THAT'S THE FIRST REALLY BIG AWARD I'VE WON LIKE 311 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:44,137 THAT I WAS SHOCKED. THAT WAS NOT AN ACT. 312 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:47,007 >> Jimmy: YOU NEVER WON A GRAMMY >> I WON A GRAMMY BEFORE WITH 313 00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:51,378 QUINCY JONES YOU KNOW, MYSELF, MELLE MEL, BIG DADDY KANE, AND 314 00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:56,116 KOOL MOE DEE WON ONE BUT WE FELT LIKE QUINCY KIND OF SNUCK US IN THE BACK DOOR OF 315 00:21:56,116 --> 00:22:00,320 THE GRAMMYS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING AND WE GOT THAT AWARD. 316 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,623 THAT WAS A RAP AWARD BUT THIS ONE IS FOR BODY COUNT. COME ON, MAN 317 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,059 >> Jimmy: IT'S ALL YOU, BUD. >> YOU COULD HAVE LAID BETS AGAINST THAT ONE RIGHT THERE 318 00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:11,164 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO DID A COOL THING. 319 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:16,236 YOU HAD A CONTEST WITH YOUR FANS TO MAKE A VIDEO FOR -- FOR THE SONG IS "THE HATE IS REAL. 320 00:22:16,236 --> 00:22:20,674 >> RIGHT >> Jimmy: WHO WAS THE WINNER -- WHO WAS THE DIRECTOR 321 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:24,477 >> THE DIRECTOR THAT WON WAS SEBY X MARTINEZ. AND WE JUST PUT IT OUT THERE TO 322 00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:28,848 THE FANS AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, WE KNOW YOU GUYS ARE GREAT CONTENT CREATORS 323 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:32,218 LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO. YOU'RE NOT EVEN READY FOR IT BECAUSE HE TURNED US ALL INTO 324 00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:36,723 MUPPETS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 325 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,792 THIS IS A SNIPPET OF THE VIDEO, "THE HATE IS REAL. LOOK AT THIS 326 00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:49,235 * THE LOVE IS FAK BUT THE HATE IS REAL * * 327 00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:56,276 * THE LOVE IS FAK BUT THE HATE IS REAL * >> Jimmy: COME ON! 328 00:22:56,276 --> 00:22:59,379 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S COOL TO DO THAT WITH YOUR FANS. 329 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:05,051 THAT'S AWESOME, BUD. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT "LAW & ORDER: SVU. 330 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:09,589 THIS IS SEASON 22. ARE YOU DONE FILMING FOR THIS SEASON 331 00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:13,927 >> WE'RE FILMING ACTUALLY RIGHT NOW, THE LAST EPISODE. INSTEAD OF DOING 22 EPISODES, 332 00:23:13,927 --> 00:23:20,066 THIS SEASON, WE WERE ONLY ABLE TO DO 17 FOR TIME RESTRICTIONS BUT YEAH, WE'RE ON THE LAST 333 00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:24,771 EPISODE RIGHT NOW. AND WE WERE ABLE TO PULL OFF A A FULL SEASON. 334 00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:30,744 WE HAD HIGH COVID PROTOCOL I MEAN, I'VE BEEN TAKING A A COVID TEST EVERY DAY 335 00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:33,246 AND, YOU KNOW, BUT WE MADE IT WORK, YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: ABSOLUTELY 336 00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:37,250 WE NEED YOU, MAN >> PEOPLE ARE EXCITED. MELONI CAME BACK NOW, AND 337 00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:42,956 CROSSED OVER >> Jimmy: DUDE, THAT WAS GREAT, BY THE WAY 338 00:23:42,956 --> 00:23:44,491 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT WAS SO -- I LOVE IT. 339 00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,726 THAT WAS A GREAT EPISODE YOUR CHARACTER GOT ENGAGED THAT'S A BIG DEAL. 340 00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:50,330 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WOW. >> YEAH. 341 00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:53,366 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THEY THROW ME ALL KINDS OF CURVES. SO WHEN THEY BROUGHT ME BACK, 342 00:23:53,366 --> 00:23:56,903 THEY TOLD ME, "HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED." I'M LIKE, "TO WHO? 343 00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:59,739 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY'RE LIKE, "PHOEBE. LIKE, THAT WAS YOUR GIRL." 344 00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:04,544 I'M LIKE, "WHAT? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? [ LAUGHTER ] 345 00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:07,514 AND THEY SAID, "WELL, OVER THE PANDEMIC, YOU GUYS GOT CLOSE." I'M LIKE, "AND THE FANS KNOW 346 00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:09,582 THAT?" [ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS ALL OFF-CAMERA STUFF 347 00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:14,054 THAT HAPPENED. I WENT FROM FIN BEING A LONER -- 348 00:24:14,054 --> 00:24:16,756 >> Jimmy: YOU GOT TO MAKE THE AUDIENCE THINK A LITTLE BIT, MAN. 349 00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:19,159 >> FIN AIN'T HAD A GIRLFRIEND IN 20 YEARS AND NOW I'M GETTING MARRIED. 350 00:24:19,159 --> 00:24:23,229 IT'S WAY OUT HEY, THIS IS TELEVISION, PEOPLE 351 00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:25,598 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. 352 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:27,901 HERE'S ICE T IN "LAW & ORDER: SVU. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 353 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:31,538 >> ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME WHERE WE'RE GOING? >> IT'S A SURPRISE 354 00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:35,775 >> WHERE'S PHOEBE? >> SHE'LL MEET US THERE. LISTEN, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE 355 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:41,147 A DETECTIVE, YOU GOT TO LEARN TO ASK SMARTER QUESTIONS >> WAIT, WHAT? 356 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:44,751 >> CONGRATULATIONS YOU'RE GETTING PROMOTED. LIV AND PHOEBE ARE MEETING US 357 00:24:44,751 --> 00:24:48,321 TO CELEBRATE JUST ACT SURPRISED AND TELL THE CAPTAIN HOW MUCH YOU LEARNED 358 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:52,492 FROM HER >> Jimmy: ICE T, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 359 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:58,465 THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT "LAW & ORDER: SVU" AIRS THURSDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. ON NBC. 360 00:24:58,465 --> 00:25:01,034 ICE T AND I ARE DOING SOMETHING FUN AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND 361 00:25:01,034 --> 00:25:02,602 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," COME ON BACK STAY TUNED 362 00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:20,754 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. 363 00:25:20,754 --> 00:25:26,760 I'M TALKING WITH ICE T RIGHT HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 364 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:31,197 NOW ICE, YOU'RE A MAN OF MANY TALENTS. YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLISHED ACTOR, 365 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:33,800 PRODUCER, MUSICIAN, GRAMMY WINNING MUSICIAN YOU'RE ALSO -- 366 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,804 [ CHEERS ] -- YOU'RE ALSO KNOWN FOR NOT BEING AFRAID TO SPEAK YOUR MIND 367 00:25:37,804 --> 00:25:42,075 AND FOR YOUR NO HOLDS BARRED COMMENTARY ON TWITTER. SO I THOUGHT WE COULD GO 368 00:25:42,075 --> 00:25:45,278 THROUGH SOME OF YOUR TWEETS AND YOU CAN TELL US A LITTLE MORE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS BEHIND 369 00:25:45,278 --> 00:25:47,414 THEM [ LAUGHTER ] IS THAT OKAY 370 00:25:47,414 --> 00:25:51,518 IS THAT OKAY BY YOU? >> THIS SHOULD BE GOOD [ LAUGHTER ] 371 00:25:51,518 --> 00:25:55,622 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. LET'S START WITH THIS ONE. THIS SAYS, "I REMEMBER WHEN I 372 00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:59,125 SAID I HAD BREAKFAST AT IHOP OR DENNY'S. MFS LOST IT LIKE THERE'S SOME 373 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:02,495 GUCCI EGGS SOMEWHERE I SHOULD BE EATING. LOL. 374 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:08,268 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I MEAN, YEAH. I MEAN, I EAT AT NORMAL SPOTS. 375 00:26:08,268 --> 00:26:13,406 I MEAN, BREAKFAST IS BREAKFAST AN EGG IS AN EGG YOU KNOW, LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU 376 00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:17,344 SUPPOSED TO EAT BREAKFAST? AT TIFFANY'S OR SOMETHING? [ LAUGHTER ] 377 00:26:17,344 --> 00:26:21,047 LIKE, PEOPLE BUG OUT IF I SAY I GO TO TACO BELL THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU EAT AT TACO 378 00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:24,718 BELL?" I'M LIKE, "I DON'T HAVE LIKE A A MEXICAN CHEF FLY IN TO MAKE 379 00:26:24,718 --> 00:26:27,554 ME TACOS THIS IS HOW WE EAT TACOS." >> Jimmy: YEAH 380 00:26:27,554 --> 00:26:33,126 IT TASTES DELICIOUS. YEA, EXACTLY BONUS ICE COLD FACTS 381 00:26:33,126 --> 00:26:36,062 "YOU CAN'T CHANGE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE SOME OF YOUR 382 00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:38,298 FRIENDS. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT ONE HAD ME THINKING A 383 00:26:38,298 --> 00:26:42,869 A LITTLE BIT >> I MEAN, SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS WON'T GROW UP. 384 00:26:42,869 --> 00:26:45,605 SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE STILL ON THAT BS YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 385 00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:49,676 >> Jimmy: OH, I SEE. >> YOU GOTTA SAY, "YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO LET YOU GO, MAN. 386 00:26:49,676 --> 00:26:52,645 >> Jimmy: OH, SO YOU CAN'T CHANGE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS SO YOU'LL HAVE TO CHANGE SOME OF 387 00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:54,914 YOUR FRIENDS WOW! WOW! 388 00:26:54,914 --> 00:26:57,317 I LOVE IT. [ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S A GUCCI EGG 389 00:26:57,317 --> 00:27:02,022 THAT'S A GUCCI EGG >> THERE YOU GO. EXACTLY. 390 00:27:02,022 --> 00:27:05,558 >> Jimmy: I LIKE THIS ONE. YOU SAID, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU, 391 00:27:05,558 --> 00:27:08,094 BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY DON'T THINK THAT MUCH ABOUT YOU ANYWAY." 392 00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:11,364 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> THAT'S TRUE >> Jimmy: YEAH 393 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:14,401 >> I MEAN, EVEN WHEN PEOPLE ARE GOSSIPING, THEY'LL PICK SOMEBODY OUT AND THEY MIGHT 394 00:27:14,401 --> 00:27:17,804 TALK ABOUT THEM FOR FIVE MINUTES. BUT AFTER THEY FINISH WITH 395 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,240 THAT, THEY GO BACK TO THEIR LIFE >> Jimmy: YEAH 396 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,676 >> SO THEY DON'T REALLY HAVE A A LOT OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOU. 397 00:27:22,676 --> 00:27:25,912 SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT IS NOT SOMETHING THEY DO OFTEN. 398 00:27:25,912 --> 00:27:28,515 AND IF SOMEONE IS DOING IT CONSTANTLY, THEN THEY HAVE A A PROBLEM. 399 00:27:28,515 --> 00:27:31,117 NOT YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THIS IS WHY I FOLLOW 400 00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:36,756 YOU. THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT LET'S DO A COUPLE MORE 401 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:40,326 "WHENEVER SOMEONE TRIES TO DISS ME BY SAYING I'M OLD, I'M LIKE, 'THAT'S A FACT.' 402 00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:44,597 WHERE'S THE INSULT?" [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 403 00:27:44,597 --> 00:27:47,100 AREN'T WE ALL TRYING TO GET OLD? I MEAN, WHAT'S THE -- WHAT'S 404 00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:50,337 THE ALTERNATIVE? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU KNOW? 405 00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:54,941 SO I'M HAPPY EVERY DAY I LIVE I JUST TURNED 63 406 00:27:54,941 --> 00:27:57,644 YOU KNOW I'M STILL THIN IN THE WAIST, HANDSOME IN THE FACE. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 407 00:27:57,644 --> 00:27:59,512 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BUD 408 00:27:59,512 --> 00:28:03,049 >> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. >> Jimmy: LAST ONE HERE SAYS, 409 00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:07,587 "TWITTER IS LIKE A FRIEND I TALK TO SOMETIMES THAT HAS A A MILLION HEADS. 410 00:28:07,587 --> 00:28:10,890 LOL. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S THE TRUTH 411 00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:17,330 >> YEAH. IF YOU DO LIKE I DO, MY TWITTER NAME IS FINALLEVEL.COM 412 00:28:17,330 --> 00:28:21,735 AND I TALK TO MY FANS. I USE TWITTER SOMETIMES TO GET ANSWERS. 413 00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:27,040 AND I GET FEEDBACK FROM THEM, SO I CAN PUT A QUESTION OUT AND I'LL GET A THOUSAND ANSWERS. 414 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:31,344 FIRST THING, YOU GOT TO GET ALL THE DUMMIES OFF YOUR TWITTER FEED SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE 415 00:28:31,344 --> 00:28:35,382 A REAL LINE OF, YOU KNOW, INFORMATION MOVING BACK AND FORTH. 416 00:28:35,382 --> 00:28:39,052 BUT, YOU KNOW, I GOT -- I GET RID OF THEM REAL QUICK I'VE GOT A HAIR TRIGGER BLOCK 417 00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:41,054 BUTTON YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] 418 00:28:41,054 --> 00:28:44,891 AND ALSO, I LIKE USING MUTE. IF YOU'RE NEW TO TWITTER, USE MUTE, BECAUSE THEN THE PERSON 419 00:28:44,891 --> 00:28:47,727 DOESN'T KNOW THEY BLOCKED. AND THEN THEY JUST YELL INTO THE ABYSS. 420 00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:51,898 [ LAUGHTER ] THEY YELL INTO THE VOID OF TWITTER THINKING YOU'RE STILL 421 00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:54,200 HEARING THEM >> Jimmy: ICE T. I LOVE YOU, MAN. 422 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,270 BEST TO THE FAMILY COME BACK WHENEVER YOU WANT TO, PAL. 423 00:28:57,270 --> 00:29:00,006 CONGRATS ON EVERYTHING, MAN. I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 424 00:29:00,006 --> 00:29:02,809 ICE T, EVERYBODY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MIKE BIRBIGLIA 425 00:29:02,809 --> 00:29:05,178 STICK AROUND COME ON, BACK. MORE "TONIGHT SHOW 426 00:29:05,178 --> 00:29:23,296 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A 427 00:29:23,296 --> 00:29:30,837 A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO RECENTLY ADDED DATES TO HIS VIRTUAL WORLDWIDE COMEDY PIZZA 428 00:29:30,837 --> 00:29:32,872 PARTY THIS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY PLEASE WELCOME OUR PAL, MIKE BIRBIGLIA 429 00:29:34,074 --> 00:29:38,144 * >> Jimmy: BIRBIGS! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 430 00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:40,780 >> HEY HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY >> Jimmy: I'M DOING GREAT, BUD 431 00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:49,189 THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. DUDE, I THINK YOU ARE LIKE THE HARDEST WORKING PERSON I KNOW. 432 00:29:49,189 --> 00:29:54,461 BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING YOUR PODCAST, BUT YOU'RE ALSO DOING THIS WORLDWIDE PIZZA PARTY 433 00:29:54,461 --> 00:29:56,663 COMEDY NIGHT EXPLAIN WHAT THIS. >> IT'S SORT OF LIKE A CROSS 434 00:29:56,663 --> 00:30:01,935 BETWEEN A LIVE STAND-UP COMEDY SHOW WITH -- COMBINED WITH LIKE A WORK ZOOM MEETING EXCEPT 435 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:05,872 NOBODY GETS FIRED. AND ALL THE JOKES ARE ABOUT PIZZA. 436 00:30:05,872 --> 00:30:10,810 THIS IS MY OFFICE, JIMMY, IN PROVIDENCE THIS IS CAMERA FOUR RIGHT HERE 437 00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:17,350 WE GOT CAMERA ONE RIGHT HERE >> Jimmy: WOW! >> WE GOT CAMERA TWO RIGHT HERE 438 00:30:17,350 --> 00:30:21,755 WITH ALL NEW JOKES ON THIS BOARD. AND CAMERA THREE -- RIGHT HERE 439 00:30:21,755 --> 00:30:24,724 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE STEVE KORNACKI >> YEAH, EXACTLY 440 00:30:24,724 --> 00:30:29,763 AND THEN, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE THE SHOW, WE HAVE JOKES ABOUT PIZZA, AND THEN PEOPLE IDEALLY 441 00:30:29,763 --> 00:30:35,702 EAT PIZZA AT THEIR LOCAL PIZZERIA THIS WEEK WE ARE EATING PIZZA 442 00:30:35,702 --> 00:30:41,775 FROM PIZZA MARVIN IN PROVIDENCE >> Jimmy: WOW, LOOK AT THIS. 443 00:30:41,775 --> 00:30:47,514 >> AND THEN PEOPLE HOLD UP THEIR PIZZA BOXES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW. 444 00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:49,849 DO YOU HAVE A LOCAL PIZZA YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT? >> Jimmy: YEAH 445 00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:51,818 I LOVE JOE'S SHOUTOUT TO JOE'S PIZZA. I LOVE JOE'S 446 00:30:51,818 --> 00:30:56,356 >> OH, LOVE JOE'S. >> Jimmy: THAT'S A GREAT PIZZA >> JOE'S IS MY FAVORITE, THAT'S 447 00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:59,626 MY FAVORITE NEW YORK SLICE >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND PART OF THE REASON WE DO 448 00:30:59,626 --> 00:31:04,064 IT IS THAT THERE IS NO ADS FOR GOOD PIZZA YOU KNOW, GOOD PIZZAS ARE 449 00:31:04,064 --> 00:31:09,302 CONFIDENT IN THEIR WORK. GOOD PIZZA IS LIKE, "PEOPLE WILL FIND US." 450 00:31:09,302 --> 00:31:13,773 BAD PIZZA IS LIKE, "WE'LL DO ANYTHING WE'LL STAY OPEN UNTIL 3:00 A.M 451 00:31:13,773 --> 00:31:17,711 WE'LL HIRE A MASCOT. YOU CAN STUFF PIZZA INSIDE OUR PIZZA. 452 00:31:17,711 --> 00:31:23,516 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE -- THERE'S NO ADS FOR GOOD ANYTHING, REALLY. 453 00:31:23,516 --> 00:31:28,154 IT'S LIKE THERE'S NO ADS FOR PARIS. BUT THERE ARE ADS FOR 454 00:31:28,154 --> 00:31:33,226 NEW HAMPSHIRE. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE [ LAUGHTER ] 455 00:31:33,226 --> 00:31:37,931 "COME TO NEW HAMPSHIRE WE HAVE BAD PIZZA. [ LAUGHTER ] 456 00:31:37,931 --> 00:31:41,434 >> Jimmy: ON YOUR SHOW DO YOU GET IN DEBATES WITH PEOPLE ABOUT LIKE HOW -- THE ETIQUETTE 457 00:31:41,434 --> 00:31:45,105 OF HOW TO EAT A PIZZA? >> IT IS VERY -- IT IS A VERY VOLATILE SUBJECT MATTER. 458 00:31:45,105 --> 00:31:51,111 >> Jimmy: WOW! >> WE ACTUALLY HAD -- WE HAD JO FIRESTONE WHO IS A GOOD 459 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:56,182 FRIEND OF YOUR SHOW. >> Jimmy: I LOVE HER >> WE HAD HER ON THE PODCAST 460 00:31:56,182 --> 00:32:00,920 THIS WEEK AND WE HAD HER ON THE WORLDWIDE COMEDY PIZZA PARTY AS WELL 461 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:07,594 SHE SAYS THAT SHE EATS THE CRUST FIRST? [ AUDIENCE GROANS 462 00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:10,263 >> Jimmy: WE'RE GETTING GROANS FROM OUR AUDIENCE. >> I KNOW. 463 00:32:10,263 --> 00:32:13,633 CRUST FIRST. AND THEN I ASKED HER WHY AND SHE SAID THIS IN COMPLETE 464 00:32:13,633 --> 00:32:18,705 EARNEST. I ASKED HER WHY AND SHE SAID IT'S PUNISHMENT FOR EATING 465 00:32:18,705 --> 00:32:25,679 PIZZA? [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS LIKE, "THERE IS NO NEED. 466 00:32:25,679 --> 00:32:31,418 THERE IS NO NEED FOR PUNISHMENT PIZZA IS MEANT AS A REWARD!" 467 00:32:31,418 --> 00:32:36,456 >> Jimmy: THAT IS SO FUNNY I RECENTLY MADE MY OWN PIZZA AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BEST 468 00:32:36,456 --> 00:32:40,827 PIZZA I EVER HAD, EVER SO I POSTED ON IT INSTAGRAM BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO 469 00:32:40,827 --> 00:32:42,862 THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE INSTAGRAM, RIGHT? TO DO IT 470 00:32:42,862 --> 00:32:47,500 SO I POSTED ON THERE IMMEDIATELY, I GET -- LIKE TWO DAYS LATER I GET A TEXT FROM 471 00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:51,104 KIMMEL WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE PIZZA. I MEAN, THE GUY KNOWS FOOD 472 00:32:51,104 --> 00:32:55,675 BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, HE KNOWS FOOD BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE HE'S LIKE, "I'M GOING TO HAVE 473 00:32:55,675 --> 00:33:00,680 TO DO A REBUTTAL VIDEO." THE LATE NIGHT WARS ARE BACK >> YES 474 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,283 >> Jimmy: AND SO HE MADE A A VIDEO WHERE HE'S LIKE, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY GOING, "NO, 475 00:33:03,283 --> 00:33:06,353 JIMMY, NO. YOU DON'T USE A ROLLING PIN. ALL THIS STUFF 476 00:33:06,353 --> 00:33:10,290 WHATEVER I MADE, IT TASTED GREAT. >> HERE'S WHY I DON'T GET 477 00:33:10,290 --> 00:33:12,659 INVOLVED WITH COOKING MY OWN PIZZA. WE DO THIS THING CALLED THE 478 00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:17,063 SLOW ROUND ON THE SHOW AND WE HAVE A LOT OF THE VIEWERS SUBMIT STORIES 479 00:33:17,063 --> 00:33:22,168 IF PEOPLE HAVE A GOOD PIZZA STORY, EMAIL WORKINGITOUTPOD@GMAIL.COM 480 00:33:22,168 --> 00:33:29,943 SUBJECT -- SLOW ROUND, WITH YOUR PIZZA STORY SO ON THE LAST SHOW, THERE WAS 481 00:33:29,943 --> 00:33:33,079 A GUY WHO WAS IN THE PEACE CORPS. AND HE WAS IN A COUNTRY WHERE 482 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:38,685 THEY DON'T HAVE A LOT OF PIZZA, BUT HIS FAMILY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR HIM, BECAUSE 483 00:33:38,685 --> 00:33:46,659 HE LOVES PIZZA AND SO THEY JUST USED, THEY MADE A PIZZA BASED ON A PHOTO 484 00:33:46,659 --> 00:33:55,869 OF A PIZZA WITH WHAT THEY HAD. IT WAS LIKE A CRACKER AND MAYONNAISE AND A CUT-UP HOTDOG, 485 00:33:55,869 --> 00:34:00,240 WHICH THEY MADE LOOK LIKE PEPPERONI. AND HE WAS LIKE, HE HAD TO EAT 486 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,209 THIS AND JUST BE LIKE, "THIS IS EXCELLENT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 487 00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:06,780 [ LAUGHTER ] AND I FEEL LIKE IF I MADE PIZZA, IT WOULD BE THAT. 488 00:34:06,780 --> 00:34:12,285 >> Jimmy: I GOTCHA I UNDERSTAND ALSO, BEFORE WE LET YOU GO, 489 00:34:12,285 --> 00:34:15,555 BUD, I WANT TO SAY YOU'RE ALSO DONATING TO FOOD BANKS AS WELL WITH THIS SHOW, 490 00:34:15,555 --> 00:34:20,060 CORRECT? >> YES WE GIVE A PORTION TO EVERY ONE 491 00:34:20,060 --> 00:34:23,363 OF OUR VIRTUAL SHOWS TO FOOD BANKS. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE ABLE TO 492 00:34:23,363 --> 00:34:25,832 CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR LOCAL FOOD BANK, YOU SHOULD WE'VE GIVEN TO A LOT OF 493 00:34:25,832 --> 00:34:30,070 REGIONAL FOOD BANKS. I THINK ALMOST $65,000 AT THIS POINT. 494 00:34:30,070 --> 00:34:35,308 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH IT'S A GOOD POSITIVE 495 00:34:35,308 --> 00:34:39,779 EXPERIENCE PEOPLE ARE DIGGING IT, AND WE'RE GOING TO KEEP DOING THEM 496 00:34:39,779 --> 00:34:44,617 >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. MIKE BIRBIGLIA FOR TICKETS TO HIS WORLDWIDE 497 00:34:44,617 --> 00:34:49,322 COMEDY PIZZA PARTY THIS WEEKEND, GO TO HIS WEBSITE, BIRBIGS.COM. 498 00:34:49,322 --> 00:34:52,258 WE LOVE YOU BUD. ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU >> YOU TOO, BUDDY. 499 00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:54,761 THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON. >> Jimmy: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAND-UP FROM 500 00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:58,331 ORLANDO LEYBA. STICK AROUND COME ON BACK 501 00:34:58,331 --> 00:35:19,719 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST CAN BE SEEN AT THE COMEDY CELLAR IN 502 00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:23,890 LAS VEGAS APRIL 22nd THROUGH THE 25th PLEASE WELCOME, THE VERY FUNNY, 503 00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:24,424 THE 25th PLEASE WELCOME, THE VERY FUNNY, ORLANDO LEYBA! 504 00:35:25,058 --> 00:35:33,199 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 505 00:35:33,199 --> 00:35:39,239 >> THANK YOU THANK YOU, THANK YOU AND THANK YOU. 506 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,675 I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE AND NOT AT HOME WATCHING "BRIDGERTON," YOU KNOW 507 00:35:41,675 --> 00:35:44,511 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, IT'S A GOOD SHOW I'M STARTING TO THINK I'M 508 00:35:44,511 --> 00:35:49,249 A DUKE I'M WAVING AT PEOPLE FUNNY "HELLO EVERYBODY 509 00:35:49,249 --> 00:35:51,885 YOU DOING ALL RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, 510 00:35:51,885 --> 00:35:56,089 AND I AM I'MA GET OUT OF THE HOUSE LIKE TODAY, I'M LEANING INTO THE 511 00:35:56,089 --> 00:36:00,794 POSITIVE LIKE I NEVER KNEW HOW READY I WAS FOR THESE TIMES. 512 00:36:00,794 --> 00:36:03,630 LIKE I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH I DIDN'T LIKE SHAKING HANDS 'TIL NOW. 513 00:36:03,630 --> 00:36:05,732 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH AND I DON'T HAVE TO ANYMORE AND 514 00:36:05,732 --> 00:36:08,802 IT'S GREAT [ LAUGHTER ] PEOPLE STILL COME AT ME, FULL 515 00:36:08,802 --> 00:36:11,037 EXTENSION. "HEY ORLANDO." AND I'M LIKE, "NO. 516 00:36:11,037 --> 00:36:13,673 NO WHY? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT 517 00:36:13,673 --> 00:36:17,711 THAT'S JUST SELFISH. THAT'S JUST SELFISH, MAN." [ LAUGHTER ] 518 00:36:17,711 --> 00:36:22,716 YEAH, WE HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE ROOM NOW, RIGHT? ELEVATORS ARE FUN FOR ME NOW 519 00:36:22,716 --> 00:36:26,553 I WENT TO GO SEE MY DOCTOR AND HE HAD A SIGN ON THE ELEVATOR THAT SAID, "ONE PERSON PER 520 00:36:26,553 --> 00:36:30,657 RIDE." A GUY WAS COMING WITH A BABY, AND HE TRIED TO GET ON AND I 521 00:36:30,657 --> 00:36:33,693 WAS LIKE, "UMHH. PUT A STOP TO THAT [ LAUGHTER ] 522 00:36:33,693 --> 00:36:37,931 NO AND I JUST LET THE DOORS CLOSE SLOWLY ON HIM. 523 00:36:37,931 --> 00:36:39,799 [ LAUGHTER ] I DIDN'T PRESS THE BUTTON OR NOTHING. 524 00:36:39,799 --> 00:36:46,072 AND HIS SADNESS, HIS SADNESS BROUGHT ME SO MUCH HAPPINESS [ LAUGHTER ] 525 00:36:46,072 --> 00:36:51,144 I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M NORMALLY A NICE GUY BUT I HAVE SO MUCH ROOM NOW. 526 00:36:51,144 --> 00:36:55,281 I HAVE SO MUCH ROOM. I WAS LIKE, "WOW, THIS IS LIKE A STUDIO APARTMENT 527 00:36:55,281 --> 00:36:58,318 I DON'T HAVE TO WONDER WHO DEALT IT, I DEALT IT YES. 528 00:36:58,318 --> 00:37:03,356 BY MYSELF, RIGHT BY MYSELF. [ LAUGHTER ] 529 00:37:03,356 --> 00:37:05,892 SO, BEST THING THAT I COULD TELL YOU GUYS OUT HERE IS THAT DURING THESE TIMES, I'M 530 00:37:05,892 --> 00:37:10,063 THRIVING YOU KNOW YEAH, I'M THRIV -- THE ONLY BAD 531 00:37:10,063 --> 00:37:13,166 THING, OKAY, THE ONLY ONE BAD THING IS THAT I'M MARRIED. THAT'S THE ONLY BAD THING. 532 00:37:13,166 --> 00:37:17,203 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, YEAH AND HER BOSS TOLD HER SHE COULD 533 00:37:17,203 --> 00:37:20,507 NOW WORK FROM HOME YOU COULD WORK FROM HOME, GIRL WHICH IS A BLESSING. 534 00:37:20,507 --> 00:37:24,210 I GET IT IT'S A BLESSING, BUT IT ALSO MEANS THAT SHE'S HOME NOW ALL 535 00:37:24,210 --> 00:37:27,580 THE TIME ALL THE TIME ALL THE TIME 536 00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:31,885 ALL THE TIME ALL THE TIME ALL THE TIME 537 00:37:31,885 --> 00:37:36,823 ALL THE TIME SHE DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE. SHE'S LIKE, "I HAVE ASTHMA." 538 00:37:36,823 --> 00:37:41,294 ALLEGEDLY. I'VE NEVER SEEN A PUMP I'VE NEVER SEEN A PUMP 539 00:37:41,294 --> 00:37:46,399 SHE JUST SITS THERE AT HER DESK, FORWARD SLASH, OUR DINING ROOM TABLE 540 00:37:46,399 --> 00:37:49,235 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] JUDGING ME LIKE I'M A BAD CO-WORKER. 541 00:37:49,235 --> 00:37:53,740 "IS THAT WHAT YOU DO FOR TEN HOURS WHILE I'M GONE EAT SNACKS AND WATCH 'THE 542 00:37:53,740 --> 00:37:57,243 CROWN'"? [ LAUGHTER ] "YES, YES. 543 00:37:57,243 --> 00:38:02,015 IT'S MY CREATIVE PROCESS I GOT FALLON IN TWO WEEKS. RIGHT? 544 00:38:02,015 --> 00:38:04,484 SO NOW I'M AN UNPAID INTERN, GUYS YEAH 545 00:38:04,484 --> 00:38:08,221 MY RESPONSIBILITIES ARE PUTTING PAPER IN THE PRINTER AND TAKING DOWN LUNCH ORDERS. 546 00:38:08,221 --> 00:38:11,024 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH NO PICKLES, NO MUSTARD, EVER, 547 00:38:11,024 --> 00:38:14,894 EVER VERY DEMANDING VERY DEMANDING LADY, RIGHT 548 00:38:14,894 --> 00:38:17,864 WE NEED MORE SPACE IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU GUYS. WE NEED A LITTLE BIT MORE 549 00:38:17,864 --> 00:38:21,134 SPACE. RIGHT? I'M DOING STUFF I NEVER DID 550 00:38:21,134 --> 00:38:24,304 BEFORE, LIKE HANG OUT IN MY CAR, FOR HOURS [ LAUGHTER ] 551 00:38:24,304 --> 00:38:31,411 I DON'T GO ANYWHERE. I JUST SIT THERE LISTENING TO JOURNEY. 552 00:38:31,411 --> 00:38:34,047 * DON'T STOP BELIEVING * RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] 553 00:38:34,047 --> 00:38:39,919 I GO OUT FOR WALKS 2.5 GOING, 2.5 COMING BACK AS SOON AS I OPEN THE DOOR, "IS 554 00:38:39,919 --> 00:38:42,789 THAT ALL YOU'RE GONNA DO?" WHAT MY FITBIT SAID THAT WAS 555 00:38:42,789 --> 00:38:47,060 10,000 STEPS THERE WAS A FAKE CELEBRATION WITH FAKE FIREWORKS, MAN 556 00:38:47,060 --> 00:38:51,097 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WE NEED MORE TIME. WE NEED A LITTLE BIT MORE SPACE 557 00:38:51,097 --> 00:38:54,367 BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US I'VE BECOME A SHORT-ORDER COOK FOR HER. 558 00:38:54,367 --> 00:38:57,871 YES. MY NEW -- I'M A MASTER AT FLUFFY EGGS. 559 00:38:57,871 --> 00:39:00,273 THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO MAKE HER -- FLUFFY EGGS IN THE MORNING. 560 00:39:00,273 --> 00:39:04,544 THE TRICK IS LOTS OF BUTTER. YOU PUT THE BUTTER, YOU GRAB YOUR EGGS, CRACK THEM IN THE 561 00:39:04,544 --> 00:39:07,480 POT, DROP THAT CLUMP OF BUTTER IN THERE AND START STIRRING. ON THE FIRE, OFF THE FIRE. 562 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:12,318 ON THE FIRE, OFF THE FIRE. ON THE FIRE, OFF THE FIRE. YOU GRAB SOME CHERRY TOMATOES, 563 00:39:12,318 --> 00:39:16,690 YOU SAUTE THOSE, RIGHT WITH SOME OLIVE OIL, PEPPER, AND SOME HIMALAYAN SALT, RIGHT 564 00:39:16,690 --> 00:39:19,859 YOU DO THAT. YOU GRAB YOUR BREAD AND YOU SLICE THAT DIAGONALLY. 565 00:39:19,859 --> 00:39:23,463 YOU WARM THAT UP YOU WARM THAT IN THE TOASTER NEVER TOAST, JUST WARM 566 00:39:23,463 --> 00:39:28,935 YOU PLATE EVERYTHING YOU GRAB YOUR EGGS, PUT IT ON TOP OF THE -- ON TOP OF THE 567 00:39:28,935 --> 00:39:30,904 BREAD TO WHICH MAKES IT A DELICIOUS BOAT RIGHT? 568 00:39:30,904 --> 00:39:35,041 YOU CHOP UP SOME FRESH CHIVES, SPRINKLE THAT ON TOP THEN I MAKE HER HER COFFEE 569 00:39:35,041 --> 00:39:37,510 'CAUSE I'M A BARISTA ALSO, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] 570 00:39:37,510 --> 00:39:41,314 YEAH, I KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE LITTLE HEART AND I TAKE IT UP TO HER IN BED 571 00:39:41,314 --> 00:39:44,584 YES, I TAKE IT UP TO HER IN BED. AND YOU GUYS ARE LIKE, "WOW, 572 00:39:44,584 --> 00:39:49,222 YOU DO ALL THAT FOR HER? NO NO 573 00:39:49,222 --> 00:39:52,625 I DO THAT FOR ME [ LAUGHTER ] I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP HER IN 574 00:39:52,625 --> 00:39:55,061 THE BEDROOM FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE [ LAUGHTER ] 575 00:39:55,061 --> 00:39:58,832 I CAN HAVE MY LIVING ROOM BACK OH, YOU SHOULD SEE HER "OH, THIS IS JUST LIKE A 576 00:39:58,832 --> 00:40:04,637 A HOTEL. AS I CLOSE THE DOOR, JUST LIKE A HOTEL. 577 00:40:04,637 --> 00:40:08,808 [ LAUGHTER ] MY NAME'S ORLANDO LEYBA. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 578 00:40:08,808 --> 00:40:14,647 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU! 579 00:40:14,647 --> 00:40:19,352 ORLANDO LEYBA! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE'LL BE AT THE COMEDY CELLAR 580 00:40:19,352 --> 00:40:23,890 IN LAS VEGAS APRIL 22nd THROUGH THE 25th JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT, 581 00:40:23,890 --> 00:40:25,825 RUSSELL WILSON AND CIARA WILL BE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 582 00:40:25,825 --> 00:40:29,963 MY THANKS TO ICE T, MIKE BIRBIGLIA, ORLANDO LEYBA! HAVE A SEAT. 583 00:40:29,963 --> 00:40:33,133 AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 584 00:40:33,133 --> 00:40:35,635 SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 585 00:40:35,635 --> 00:40:36,036 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *