1 00:00:23,003 --> 00:00:24,029 >> Steve: FROM ROCKEFELLER 2 00:00:23,003 --> 00:00:24,029 PLAZA IN THE HEART 3 00:00:24,029 --> 00:00:27,008 NEW YORK CITY, IT'S 4 00:00:24,029 --> 00:00:27,008 "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING 5 00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:28,021 JIMMY FALLON." 6 00:00:27,008 --> 00:00:28,021 TONIGHT JOIN JIMMY AND HIS 7 00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:29,023 GUESTS, SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, 8 00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:29,023 ALISON BRIE, MUSICAL GUEST 9 00:00:29,023 --> 00:00:30,010 PA SALIEU, AND FEATURING THE 10 00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:40,024 LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW 11 00:00:38,003 --> 00:00:40,024 AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST, 12 00:00:39,013 --> 00:00:40,024 JIMMY FALLON 13 00:00:42,018 --> 00:00:49,024 ♪ 14 00:00:42,018 --> 00:00:49,024 ♪ 15 00:00:49,024 --> 00:00:51,000 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, 16 00:00:49,024 --> 00:00:51,000 EVERYONE 17 00:00:51,000 --> 00:01:01,001 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 18 00:00:51,000 --> 00:01:01,001 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 19 00:01:01,001 --> 00:01:02,001 THANK YOU. 20 00:01:01,001 --> 00:01:02,001 THANK YOU. 21 00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:03,004 THANK YOU. 22 00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:03,004 AND WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT 23 00:01:03,004 --> 00:01:07,022 SHOW," EVERYBODY 24 00:01:03,004 --> 00:01:07,022 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:07,022 --> 00:01:11,004 AH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 26 00:01:07,022 --> 00:01:11,004 GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS 27 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,010 WELL, GUYS, TODAY WAS PRESIDENT 28 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,010 BIDEN'S FIRST FULL DAY IN 29 00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:17,010 OFFICE 30 00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:17,010 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 31 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,003 THAT'S BIG -- THAT'S BIG NEWS 32 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,003 RIGHT THERE. 33 00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:21,025 OUR PRESIDENT SPENT A FULL DAY 34 00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:21,025 IN THE OFFICE. 35 00:01:21,025 --> 00:01:24,000 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 36 00:01:21,025 --> 00:01:24,000 [ APPLAUSE ] 37 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,019 YEAH, IT WAS BIDEN'S FIRST FULL 38 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,019 DAY. 39 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,001 I'M SURE PART OF HIM WAS LIKE, 40 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,001 "JUST TO MESS WITH EVERYONE, I 41 00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:31,010 SHOULD GO GOLFING. 42 00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:31,010 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 43 00:01:31,010 --> 00:01:32,016 BIDEN'S BARELY IN THE JOB AND 44 00:01:31,010 --> 00:01:32,016 THERE'S ALREADY SO MUCH TO 45 00:01:32,016 --> 00:01:35,004 DO - 46 00:01:32,016 --> 00:01:35,004 GETTING CONTROL OF THE 47 00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:39,000 PANDEMIC, BOOSTING THE ECONOMY, 48 00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:39,000 THAWING OUT TOM HANKS. 49 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,002 THERE'S JUST A LOT OF -- 50 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,002 [ LAUGHTER ] 51 00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:43,025 HE COULDN'T HAVE WENT WITH A 52 00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:43,025 A COAT 53 00:01:43,025 --> 00:01:46,013 IT'S LIKE GIVE HIM A COAT AND 54 00:01:43,025 --> 00:01:46,013 GLOVES OR SUIT AND GLOVES. 55 00:01:46,013 --> 00:01:50,002 "I'LL DO SUIT AND GLOVES." 56 00:01:46,013 --> 00:01:50,002 YEAH, BIDEN HAS GOT A LOT ON 57 00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:51,008 HIS PLATE. 58 00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:51,008 HE'S GOT TO BUILD A NATIONAL 59 00:01:51,008 --> 00:01:54,012 VACCINE PROGRAM, PASS THE 60 00:01:51,008 --> 00:01:54,012 STIMULUS, TACKLE CLIMATE 61 00:01:54,012 --> 00:01:57,014 CHANGE 62 00:01:54,012 --> 00:01:57,014 WHEN ASKED WHAT SHOULD BE FIRST 63 00:01:57,014 --> 00:01:59,026 HE WAS LIKE, "LEGAL WEED 64 00:01:57,014 --> 00:01:59,026 NOW. 65 00:01:59,026 --> 00:02:03,020 [ LAUGHTER ] 66 00:01:59,026 --> 00:02:03,020 [ APPLAUSE ] 67 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:04,028 YEP, BIDEN HAS SO MUCH ON HIS 68 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:04,028 PLATE BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP HIM 69 00:02:04,028 --> 00:02:09,011 FROM GETTING TO KNOW HIS STAFF 70 00:02:04,028 --> 00:02:09,011 THIS MORNING HE WENT AROUND THE 71 00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:12,010 ROOM AND EVERYONE SAY THEIR 72 00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:12,010 NAME AND WHAT DUMPSTER FIRE 73 00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:13,025 THEY'RE CURRENTLY TRYING TO PUT 74 00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:13,025 OUT. 75 00:02:13,025 --> 00:02:15,022 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 76 00:02:13,025 --> 00:02:15,022 THAT'S RIGHT, BIDEN IS TRYING 77 00:02:15,022 --> 00:02:17,027 TO CREATE A POSITIVE WORK 78 00:02:15,022 --> 00:02:17,027 ENVIRONMENT. 79 00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:20,018 AND HE GAVE A VERY STERN 80 00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:20,018 WARNING TO HIS INCOMING TEAM 81 00:02:19,016 --> 00:02:20,018 WATCH THIS 82 00:02:21,029 --> 00:02:23,003 >> IF YOU EVER WORK WITH ME AND 83 00:02:21,029 --> 00:02:23,003 I HEAR YOU TREAT ANOTHER 84 00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,011 COLLEAGUE WITH DISRESPECT, TALK 85 00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,011 DOWN TO SOMEONE, I PROMISE YOU 86 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:31,010 I WILL FIRE YOU ON THE SPOT. 87 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:31,010 [ CHEERS ] 88 00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:36,024 [ APPLAUSE ] 89 00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:36,024 >> Jimmy: ALTHOUGH IT UNDERCUT 90 00:02:36,024 --> 00:02:37,025 THE MESSAGE WHEN BIDEN WAS 91 00:02:36,024 --> 00:02:37,025 LIKE, "YOU GOT THAT, YOU 92 00:02:37,025 --> 00:02:41,028 MORONS 93 00:02:37,025 --> 00:02:41,028 [ LAUGHTER ] 94 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,027 DON'T MAKE ME GO TOM CRUISE ON 95 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,027 YOUR ASS." 96 00:02:43,027 --> 00:02:49,009 [ LAUGHTER ] 97 00:02:43,027 --> 00:02:49,009 BUT THE BIG STORY TODAY WAS 98 00:02:49,009 --> 00:02:51,018 THAT BIDEN USED HIS FIRST FULL 99 00:02:49,009 --> 00:02:51,018 DAY IN OFFICE TO TACKLE THE 100 00:02:51,018 --> 00:02:53,026 PANDEMIC 101 00:02:51,018 --> 00:02:53,026 YEP, BIDEN RELEASED A PLAN 102 00:02:53,026 --> 00:02:55,002 CALLED THE NATIONAL STRATEGY 103 00:02:53,026 --> 00:02:55,002 FOR THE COVID-19 RESPONSE AND 104 00:02:55,002 --> 00:03:03,008 PANDEMIC PREPAREDNESS. 105 00:02:55,002 --> 00:03:03,008 REALLY ROLLS OFF THE TONGUE. 106 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:06,003 AS PART OF BIDEN'S NEW COVID 107 00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:06,003 STRATEGY, HE'S LAUNCHING THE 108 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:08,015 100 DAYS MASKING CHALLENGE 109 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:08,015 BIDEN'S SMART. 110 00:03:08,015 --> 00:03:10,021 HE KNOWS HE CAN GET AMERICANS 111 00:03:08,015 --> 00:03:10,021 TO DO ANYTHING IF HE MAKES IT 112 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:15,002 SOUND LIKE A TIKTOK CHALLENGE. 113 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:15,002 [ LAUGHTER ] 114 00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:17,014 YEP, BIDEN SEEMS PRETTY EXCITED 115 00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:17,014 ABOUT HIS NEW PLAN 116 00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:19,015 HERE HE IS TODAY SHOWING IT OFF 117 00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:19,015 AT THE WHITE HOUSE 118 00:03:18,017 --> 00:03:19,015 WATCH THIS 119 00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:22,029 COMPREHENSIVE. 120 00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:22,029 IT'S BASED ON SCIENCE, NOT 121 00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:25,014 POLITICS 122 00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:25,014 YOU CAN REVIEW THIS ENTIRE 123 00:03:25,014 --> 00:03:31,022 PLAN -- THIS ENTIRE PLAN BY 124 00:03:25,014 --> 00:03:31,022 GOING TO WHITEHOUSE.GOV. 125 00:03:31,022 --> 00:03:37,011 IT IS SO DETAILED, IT'S OVER -- 126 00:03:31,022 --> 00:03:37,011 IT'S 198 PAGES 127 00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:39,023 >> Jimmy: AMERICANS HEARD THAT 128 00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:39,023 AND THEY'RE LIKE, "188 PAGES 129 00:03:39,023 --> 00:03:42,018 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL WEAR THE MASK 130 00:03:39,023 --> 00:03:42,018 WE'LL WEAR THE MASK, ALL RIGHT 131 00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:44,006 GOSH." 132 00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:44,006 THAT MIGHT LOOK BORING TO YOU, 133 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:47,009 BUT FOR DR. FAUCI, THAT'S 134 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:47,009 "50 SHADES OF GRAY." 135 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:52,013 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 136 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:52,013 HE'S LIKE, "WHOA, WHAT 137 00:03:52,013 --> 00:03:54,000 ♪ 138 00:03:52,013 --> 00:03:54,000 WHOA 139 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,004 SPICY. 140 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,004 198 PAGES SOUNDS LIKE A LOT, 141 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:01,003 BUT IT'S ONLY ONE-TENTH OF THE 142 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:01,003 SIZE OF BIDEN'S FAMILY BIBLE 143 00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:05,007 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 144 00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:05,007 THIS IS INTERESTING. 145 00:04:05,007 --> 00:04:06,013 BIDEN'S TEAM SAID THEY AREN'T 146 00:04:05,007 --> 00:04:06,013 USING ANY PART OF THE TRUMP 147 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:06,028 ADMINISTRATION'S VACCINE 148 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:10,024 DISTRIBUTION PLAN. 149 00:04:09,012 --> 00:04:10,024 AND THERE'S A SIMPLE REASON FOR 150 00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:10,024 THAT 151 00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:14,013 >> THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION 152 00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:14,013 TELLS CNN THE TRUMP TEAM LEFT 153 00:04:14,013 --> 00:04:19,000 THEM NO PLAN FOR DISTRIBUTING 154 00:04:14,013 --> 00:04:19,000 THE CORONAVIRUS VACCINE. 155 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,003 SO ON DAY ONE OF HIS 156 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,003 PRESIDENCY, JOE BIDEN WILL TO 157 00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:26,010 START FROM SCRATCH 158 00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:26,010 >> Jimmy: YEAH 159 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,010 I MEAN, HONESTLY, WHAT DID THEY 160 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,010 EXPECT 161 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:29,014 IT'S LIKE WALKING INTO YOUR 162 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:29,014 HOUSE AND BEING MAD YOUR DOG 163 00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:32,014 DIDN'T DO YOUR TAXES 164 00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:32,014 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 165 00:04:32,014 --> 00:04:37,005 "RUSTY 166 00:04:32,014 --> 00:04:37,005 I LEFT QUICKEN OPEN AND 167 00:04:37,005 --> 00:04:38,008 EVERYTHING ON THE -- YOU COULD 168 00:04:37,005 --> 00:04:38,008 HAVE - 169 00:04:38,008 --> 00:04:40,025 [ LAUGHTER ] 170 00:04:38,008 --> 00:04:40,025 YEAH, BIDEN IS EXTREMELY BUSY, 171 00:04:40,025 --> 00:04:42,025 BUT HIS STAFF HAS ALREADY 172 00:04:40,025 --> 00:04:42,025 MANAGED TO REDECORATE THE OVAL 173 00:04:42,025 --> 00:04:46,007 OFFICE FOR HIM 174 00:04:42,025 --> 00:04:46,007 HE GOT A NEW RUG 175 00:04:46,007 --> 00:04:48,026 HE'S GOT NEW CURTAINS, EVEN 176 00:04:46,007 --> 00:04:48,026 ADDED A MASSIVE PORTRAIT OF FDR 177 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:52,001 ABOVE THE FIREPLACE. 178 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:52,001 YEAH, BIDEN MADE A LOT OF 179 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,026 CHANGES. 180 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,026 HE EVEN REPLACED THE PHOTO OF 181 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,018 ANDREW JACKSON WITH THIS 182 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 183 00:04:56,018 --> 00:05:01,013 [ APPLAUSE ] 184 00:04:56,018 --> 00:05:01,013 ♪ 185 00:05:01,013 --> 00:05:05,008 BEAUTIFUL. 186 00:05:01,013 --> 00:05:05,008 AND THIS IS COOL 187 00:05:05,008 --> 00:05:06,011 IN A NOD TO HIS LOVE OF 188 00:05:05,008 --> 00:05:06,011 SCIENCE, BIDEN HUNG A PAINTING 189 00:05:06,011 --> 00:05:07,027 OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN 190 00:05:06,011 --> 00:05:07,027 AND IN A NOD TO HIS LOVE OF ICE 191 00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:11,021 CREAM, HE HUNG A PAINTING OF 192 00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:11,021 BEN AND JERRY. 193 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:14,027 CAN WE SEE THE PHOTO OF THE 194 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:14,027 PAINTING OF BEN AND JERRY? 195 00:05:14,027 --> 00:05:17,018 YEAH 196 00:05:14,027 --> 00:05:17,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 197 00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:20,013 [ APPLAUSE ] 198 00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:20,013 BUT BIDEN IS STILL GETTING USED 199 00:05:20,013 --> 00:05:22,027 TO HIS NEW OFFICE. 200 00:05:20,013 --> 00:05:22,027 EARLIER HE GOT A SURPRISE WHEN 201 00:05:22,027 --> 00:05:24,005 HE PRESSED A BUTTON ON THE DESK 202 00:05:22,027 --> 00:05:24,005 AND A BIG MAC SHOT OUT OF THE 203 00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:27,000 DRAWER AND KNOCKED HIM 204 00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:27,000 UNCONSCIOUS. 205 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:33,003 [ LAUGHTER ] 206 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:33,003 NOT ONLY DID BIDEN TAKE OVER AN 207 00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:35,016 OFFICE, HE ALSO TOOK OVER THE 208 00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:35,016 OFFICIAL @POTUS TWITTER ACCOUNT 209 00:05:35,016 --> 00:05:36,029 YESTERDAY. 210 00:05:35,016 --> 00:05:36,029 CHECK OUT -- 211 00:05:36,029 --> 00:05:41,000 [ APPLAUSE ] 212 00:05:36,029 --> 00:05:41,000 CHECK OUT HIS FIRST OFFICIAL 213 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,028 TWEET AS PRESIDENT 214 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,028 IT SAYS, "THERE IS NO TIME TO 215 00:05:42,028 --> 00:05:46,001 WASTE WHEN IT COMES TO TACKLING 216 00:05:42,028 --> 00:05:46,001 THE CRISIS WE FACE 217 00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:47,010 THAT'S WHY TODAY I'M HEADING TO 218 00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:47,010 THE OVAL OFFICE TO GET RIGHT TO 219 00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,018 WORK DELIVERING BOLD ACTION AND 220 00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,018 IMMEDIATE RELIEF FOR AMERICAN 221 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:55,003 FAMILIES." 222 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:55,003 IT HAS ALL COMPLETE SENTENCES. 223 00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:59,011 ♪ 224 00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:59,011 NO TYPOS 225 00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:00,020 ♪ 226 00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:00,020 NO CAPS LOCK 227 00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,023 ♪ 228 00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,023 IT'S SO REFRESHING 229 00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:04,005 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 230 00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:04,005 CAN WE -- CAN WE SEE ANOTHER 231 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:07,007 BIDEN TWEET? 232 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:07,007 "I APPLAUD THIS SENATE FOR 233 00:06:07,007 --> 00:06:08,011 PUTTING PARTISANSHIP ASIDE TO 234 00:06:07,007 --> 00:06:08,011 PRIORITIZE OUR NATIONAL 235 00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:11,022 SECURITY 236 00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:11,022 AMERICANS CAN REST EASY TONIGHT 237 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,027 KNOWING AVRIL HAINES HAS BEEN 238 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,027 CONFIRMED AS THE DIRECTOR OF 239 00:06:12,027 --> 00:06:18,022 NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE. 240 00:06:12,027 --> 00:06:18,022 IT'S SIMPLE. 241 00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:22,010 ♪ 242 00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:22,010 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 243 00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:23,016 NO EXCLAMATION POINT 244 00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:23,016 ♪ 245 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,014 AND IT WASN'T TWEETED AT 246 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,014 3:00 IN THE MORNING. 247 00:06:24,014 --> 00:06:25,015 ♪ 248 00:06:24,014 --> 00:06:25,015 IT FEELS SO GOOD 249 00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:28,028 I CAN'T -- 250 00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:28,028 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 251 00:06:28,028 --> 00:06:31,025 CAN WE SEE ONE MORE TWEET? 252 00:06:28,028 --> 00:06:31,025 "THE TIME TO MOVE FORWARD IS 253 00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:36,012 NOW. 254 00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:36,012 IT'S SO NORMAL 255 00:06:36,012 --> 00:06:39,021 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 256 00:06:36,012 --> 00:06:39,021 ♪ 257 00:06:39,021 --> 00:06:47,024 ♪ 258 00:06:39,021 --> 00:06:47,024 ♪ 259 00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:54,001 ♪ 260 00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:54,001 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 261 00:06:54,001 --> 00:07:12,018 ♪ 262 00:06:54,001 --> 00:07:12,018 ♪ 263 00:07:12,018 --> 00:07:25,015 ♪ 264 00:07:12,018 --> 00:07:25,015 ♪ 265 00:07:25,015 --> 00:07:26,025 ALL RIGHT. 266 00:07:25,015 --> 00:07:26,025 PLEASE 267 00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:31,027 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 268 00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:31,027 I'M VERY -- I'M PICKING UP HIS 269 00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:33,014 HEAVY BREATHING ON MY 270 00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:33,014 MICROPHONE 271 00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:42,026 >> Questlove: SORRY. 272 00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:42,026 >> Jimmy: THIS IS EXCITING 273 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:46,008 HE'S GETTING CPR RIGHT NOW 274 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:46,008 SOME SPORTS NEWS TODAY - 275 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,015 THE DETROIT LIONS HELD AN 276 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,015 INTRODUCTORY PRESS CONFERENCE 277 00:07:47,015 --> 00:07:51,006 FOR THEIR NEW HEAD COACH 278 00:07:47,015 --> 00:07:51,006 DAN CAMPBELL 279 00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:51,025 AND HE SEEMS PRETTY FIRED UP TO 280 00:07:51,025 --> 00:07:55,020 BE THERE 281 00:07:52,025 --> 00:07:55,020 MAYBE A LITTLE TOO FIRED UP. 282 00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:55,020 WATCH THIS 283 00:07:57,013 --> 00:07:59,015 BUILT ON -- WE'RE GOING TO KICK 284 00:07:57,013 --> 00:07:59,015 YOU IN THE TEETH 285 00:07:59,015 --> 00:08:00,023 WE'RE GOING TO GET UP AND ON 286 00:07:59,015 --> 00:08:00,023 THE WAY UP WE'RE GOING TO BITE 287 00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:03,006 A KNEECAP OFF. 288 00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:03,006 ALL RIGHT? 289 00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:05,009 AND THEN IT'S GOING TO TAKE TWO 290 00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:05,009 MORE SHOTS TO KNOCK US DOWN. 291 00:08:05,009 --> 00:08:07,003 ALL RIGHT? 292 00:08:05,009 --> 00:08:07,003 AND ON THE WAY UP, WE'RE GOING 293 00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,013 TO TAKE YOUR OTHER KNEECAP 294 00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,013 AND THEN IT'S GOING TO TAKE 295 00:08:09,013 --> 00:08:10,029 THREE SHOTS TO GET US DOWN 296 00:08:09,013 --> 00:08:10,029 AND WHEN WE DO, WE'RE GOING TO 297 00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:16,002 TAKE ANOTHER HUNK OUT OF YOU 298 00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:16,002 [ LAUGHTER ] 299 00:08:16,002 --> 00:08:18,005 >> Jimmy: IN HINDSIGHT, MAYBE 300 00:08:16,002 --> 00:08:18,005 EATING BATH SALTS BEFORE HIS 301 00:08:18,005 --> 00:08:21,028 PRESS CONFERENCE WAS 302 00:08:18,005 --> 00:08:21,028 ILL-ADVISED. 303 00:08:21,028 --> 00:08:23,017 CAN YOU IMAGINE SITTING NEXT TO 304 00:08:21,028 --> 00:08:23,017 THAT GUY ON THE PLANE? 305 00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:25,009 IT'S LIKE, "SO WHAT BRINGS YOU 306 00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:25,009 TO DETROIT?" 307 00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,022 "I'M GOING TO RIP SIMBA'S FACE 308 00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,022 OFF -- 309 00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:29,015 [ LAUGHTER ] 310 00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:29,015 AND PUT IT BACK ON THEIR HEAD 311 00:08:29,015 --> 00:08:31,013 AND HAVE THEM WATCH ME AS I GO 312 00:08:29,015 --> 00:08:31,013 DOWN 313 00:08:31,013 --> 00:08:33,028 ON THE WAY UP, BITE ANOTHER 314 00:08:31,013 --> 00:08:33,028 CHUNK OF THEIR KNEECAP." 315 00:08:33,028 --> 00:08:38,009 [ LAUGHTER ] 316 00:08:33,028 --> 00:08:38,009 LISTEN TO THIS 317 00:08:38,009 --> 00:08:40,002 I READ ABOUT A WOMAN WHO SPENT 318 00:08:38,009 --> 00:08:40,002 SEVERAL DAYS IN A JAIL IN 319 00:08:40,002 --> 00:08:40,021 CANADA AND SHE DID PROBABLY THE 320 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:44,006 MOST CANADIAN THING YOU COULD 321 00:08:41,011 --> 00:08:44,006 DO 322 00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,006 LISTEN TO THIS 323 00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:48,007 >> A JAIL IN VANCOUVER ISLAND 324 00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:48,007 IS GETTING RAVE REVIEWS AFTER 325 00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:50,023 A WOMAN STAYED SEVERAL NIGHTS 326 00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:50,023 THERE. 327 00:08:50,023 --> 00:08:51,027 AFTER BEING RELEASED, SHE SENT 328 00:08:50,023 --> 00:08:51,027 THIS CARD TO THE POLICE 329 00:08:51,027 --> 00:08:54,028 DEPARTMENT 330 00:08:51,027 --> 00:08:54,028 THE WOMAN WROTE, "I WAS NERVOUS 331 00:08:54,028 --> 00:08:56,003 ABOUT STAYING WITH YOU GUYS 332 00:08:54,028 --> 00:08:56,003 DURING MY TRIP TO THE ISLAND, 333 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,007 BUT WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I 334 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,007 APPRECIATED HOW HELPFUL AND 335 00:08:57,007 --> 00:09:04,000 KIND EVEN WAS. 336 00:08:57,007 --> 00:09:04,000 SHE FINISHED THE NOTE OFFERING 337 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:09,004 FOUR AND A HALF STARS. 338 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:09,004 [ LAUGHTER ] 339 00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:11,026 >> Jimmy: KEEP IN MIND, THE 340 00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:11,026 CANADIAN JAIL IS BASICALLY JUST 341 00:09:11,026 --> 00:09:15,014 A COURTYARD MARRIOTT 342 00:09:11,026 --> 00:09:15,014 I GUESS THE REVIEW WORKED 343 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:17,024 BECAUSE "TRAVEL AND LEISURE" 344 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:17,024 ADDED THE JAIL TO ITS ANNUAL 345 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:20,008 LIST OF TOP 50 DETAINMENT HOT 346 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:20,008 SPOTS. 347 00:09:20,008 --> 00:09:22,014 THAT'S - 348 00:09:20,008 --> 00:09:22,014 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 349 00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:25,002 AN HONOR 350 00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:25,002 SOME ENTERTAINMENT NEWS. 351 00:09:25,002 --> 00:09:26,008 IT'S JUST BEEN CONFIRMED THAT 352 00:09:25,002 --> 00:09:26,008 BACHELORETTE CLARE CRAWLEY AND 353 00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:30,004 DALE MOSS HAVE BROKEN UP AFTER 354 00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:30,004 A FIVE-MONTH ENGAGEMENT. 355 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,019 YEP. 356 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,019 IT ONLY LASTED FIVE MONTHS 357 00:09:32,019 --> 00:09:35,011 BUT IN "BACHELOR" TIME, THAT'S 358 00:09:32,019 --> 00:09:35,011 30 YEARS, SO CONGRATS ON A 359 00:09:35,011 --> 00:09:39,006 A GREAT RUN. 360 00:09:35,011 --> 00:09:39,006 [ APPLAUSE ] 361 00:09:39,006 --> 00:09:41,005 THEY COULDN'T BELIEVE IT 362 00:09:39,006 --> 00:09:41,005 THEY WERE LIKE, "WE DID 363 00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:42,021 EVERYTHING RIGHT 364 00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:42,021 WE MET ON A TV SHOW. 365 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:43,022 WE GOT ENGAGED AFTER THREE 366 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:43,022 DATES AND MADE OUT WITH 367 00:09:43,022 --> 00:09:45,026 20 OTHER PEOPLE ALONG THE WAY. 368 00:09:43,022 --> 00:09:45,026 WHAT?" 369 00:09:45,026 --> 00:09:54,005 [ LAUGHTER ] 370 00:09:45,026 --> 00:09:54,005 AND FINALLY, THIS IS EXCITING. 371 00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:55,013 I SAW THAT ALL FIVE SEASONS OF 372 00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:55,013 "THE MUPPET SHOW" ARE COMING TO 373 00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:59,009 DISNEY+ NEXT MONTH 374 00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:59,009 BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THEY'VE 375 00:09:59,009 --> 00:09:59,026 UPDATED SOME OF THE MUSIC TO 376 00:09:59,026 --> 00:10:02,027 CONNECT WITH A YOUNGER 377 00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:02,027 AUDIENCE, I THINK. 378 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:02,027 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 379 00:10:04,017 --> 00:10:16,001 ♪ 380 00:10:04,017 --> 00:10:16,001 ♪ 381 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:16,017 ♪ 382 00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:21,004 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 383 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,004 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 384 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:21,004 EVERYBODY. 385 00:10:22,027 --> 00:10:31,027 ♪ 386 00:10:22,027 --> 00:10:31,027 ♪ >> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE 387 00:10:31,027 --> 00:10:34,009 HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT 388 00:10:31,027 --> 00:10:34,009 HE IS AN ANALYST ON TNT'S 389 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:38,000 "INSIDE THE NBA. 390 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:38,000 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL IS HERE 391 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:42,005 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 392 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:42,005 PLUS, SHE STARS IN THE NEW 393 00:10:42,005 --> 00:10:44,020 MOVIE "PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN." 394 00:10:42,005 --> 00:10:44,020 ALISON BRIE IS HERE. 395 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:46,010 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 396 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:46,010 AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM 397 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:52,013 PA SALIEU. 398 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:52,013 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 399 00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:53,016 HEY, EVERYBODY, OUR -- OUR 400 00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:53,016 BUDDY PETE BUTTIGIEG, WHO'S 401 00:10:53,016 --> 00:10:54,018 BEEN ON THE SHOW A BUNCH OF 402 00:10:53,016 --> 00:10:54,018 TIMES, HAD HIS SENATE 403 00:10:54,018 --> 00:11:01,005 CONFIRMATION HEARING TODAY TO 404 00:10:54,018 --> 00:11:01,005 BE TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY. 405 00:11:01,005 --> 00:11:02,009 AND ONE OF THE SENATORS, 406 00:11:01,005 --> 00:11:02,009 ROGER WICKER FROM MISSISSIPPI, 407 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:05,012 ASKED HIM A PRETTY INTERESTING 408 00:11:02,027 --> 00:11:05,012 QUESTION 409 00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:05,012 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 410 00:11:05,026 --> 00:11:07,016 >> YOU ARE ON "THE TONIGHT 411 00:11:05,026 --> 00:11:07,016 SHOW" LAST NIGHT WITH 412 00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:09,028 JIMMY FALLON 413 00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:09,028 >> YES, SIR. 414 00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:13,003 >> IN TERMS OF -- OF THRILLING 415 00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:13,003 EXPERIENCE, HOW DOES BEING 416 00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:17,011 BEFORE THIS COMMITTEE TODAY 417 00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:17,011 COMPARE TO - 418 00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:19,029 >> I WOULD CHARACTERIZE THIS AS 419 00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:19,029 A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, CHAIRMAN. 420 00:11:19,029 --> 00:11:22,018 >> ALL RIGHT 421 00:11:19,029 --> 00:11:22,018 VERY WELL SAID 422 00:11:22,018 --> 00:11:25,013 >> Jimmy: YEAH 423 00:11:22,018 --> 00:11:25,013 CONFIRM THAT MAN 424 00:11:25,013 --> 00:11:27,017 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 425 00:11:25,013 --> 00:11:27,017 THANK YOU FOR THE SHOUT-OUT, 426 00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:34,018 SENATOR. 427 00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:34,018 I APPRECIATE IT. 428 00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:37,004 HOW YOU DOING, MAN 429 00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:37,004 >> Tariq: I'M COOL 430 00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:40,015 >> Jimmy: YEAH 431 00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:40,015 WOW. 432 00:11:40,015 --> 00:11:41,029 CAN YOU JUST TURN THAT WAY JUST 433 00:11:40,015 --> 00:11:41,029 A LITTLE BIT SO I COULD SEE -- 434 00:11:41,029 --> 00:11:45,001 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 435 00:11:41,029 --> 00:11:45,001 TELL ME YOU CAN'T SEE THERE'S 436 00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,003 A MICROPHONE 437 00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,003 DID YOU -- 438 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:54,025 [ LAUGHTER ] 439 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:54,025 IS THAT THE -- THAT'S THE 440 00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:55,025 TATTOO 441 00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:55,025 >> Tariq: I GOT IT 442 00:11:55,025 --> 00:11:58,000 NOW I'M HAVING BUYER'S REMORSE, 443 00:11:55,025 --> 00:11:58,000 THOUGH 444 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 445 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,018 >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT 446 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,019 AFTER YOU GET A FACE TATTOO. 447 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,019 YOU CAN'T -- 448 00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:04,001 >> Tariq: I KNOW 449 00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:04,001 >> Jimmy: YEAH 450 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,013 WHAT'S -- WHAT'S THE SOLUTION? 451 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,013 >> Tariq: THERE'S A PLACE THAT 452 00:12:06,013 --> 00:12:08,008 I FOUND -- 453 00:12:06,013 --> 00:12:08,008 [ LAUGHTER ] 454 00:12:08,008 --> 00:12:09,014 NO, REALLY, ON THE DARK WEB 455 00:12:08,008 --> 00:12:09,014 WHERE YOU CAN HAVE, YOU KNOW -- 456 00:12:09,014 --> 00:12:10,015 IF IT'S FRESH ENOUGH YOU CAN 457 00:12:09,014 --> 00:12:10,015 HAVE A TATTOO REMOVED. 458 00:12:10,015 --> 00:12:11,019 >> Jimmy: BUT YOU HAVE TO ADD 459 00:12:10,015 --> 00:12:11,019 A CHUNK OF DIFFERENT HUMAN 460 00:12:11,019 --> 00:12:18,008 BEING'S FACE, CORRECT? 461 00:12:11,019 --> 00:12:18,008 >> WELL, I GOT A FRIEND IN 462 00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:22,002 DETROIT WHO -- 463 00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:22,002 [ LAUGHTER ] 464 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,006 >> Jimmy: HE'S WILLING TO 465 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,006 SACRIFICE HIS -- WELL, GOSH, 466 00:12:23,006 --> 00:12:26,011 BEST OF LUCK TO YOU FOR THAT 467 00:12:23,006 --> 00:12:26,011 >> Tariq: THANKS, WHAT DO YOU 468 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,025 THINK? 469 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,025 YOU THINK IT'S TOO MIDLIFE 470 00:12:28,025 --> 00:12:34,022 CRISIS-Y 471 00:12:28,025 --> 00:12:34,022 [ LAUGHTER ] 472 00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:35,025 >> Jimmy: NO, I DON'T -- I 473 00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:35,025 DON'T THINK IT'S THAT. 474 00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:39,010 NO, I THINK IT'S -- I THINK 475 00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:39,010 IT'S YOUR LAMBORGHINI. 476 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:44,001 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 477 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:44,001 I THINK -- YOU KNOW WHAT 478 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,005 I THINK YOU SHOULD GET A 479 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,005 A MATCHING ONE ON THE OTHER 480 00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:50,002 SIDE 481 00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:50,002 SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 482 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,026 >> Tariq: GOOD IDEA, MAN 483 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,026 YEAH 484 00:12:51,026 --> 00:12:53,004 NOW -- OKAY. 485 00:12:51,026 --> 00:12:53,004 >> Jimmy: LET ME JUST SAY, 486 00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,028 HONESTLY, NO MATTER WHAT YOU 487 00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,028 GET, YOU'RE STILL A GOOD 488 00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:56,029 LOOKING DUDE, MAN. 489 00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:56,029 COME ON. 490 00:12:56,029 --> 00:12:58,011 >> Tariq: THANK YOU. 491 00:12:56,029 --> 00:12:58,011 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 492 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:09,012 [ LAUGHTER ] 493 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:09,012 >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN 494 00:13:09,012 --> 00:13:13,010 THESE VIDEOS ON TIKTOK CALLED 495 00:13:09,012 --> 00:13:13,010 INTERNET DRAMA 496 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:16,009 THERE'S A GUY CALLED LUBALIN 497 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:16,009 HE TAKES DRAMA THAT HE FINDS ON 498 00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:17,011 FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER AND HE 499 00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:17,011 TURNS THEM INTO AWESOME 500 00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:21,008 SOUNDING SONGS 501 00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:21,008 THEY'RE LIKE EAR WORMS 502 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,020 THIS GUY'S BRILLIANT 503 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,020 WELL, HE'S RELEASED THREE 504 00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:25,008 ALREADY. 505 00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:25,008 AND I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE 506 00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:28,014 WE'RE ABOUT TO DEBUT A NEW ONE 507 00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:28,014 NOW. 508 00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:30,003 HERE'S LUBALIN PERFORMING 509 00:13:30,003 --> 00:13:34,000 "TURNING RANDOM INTERNET DRAMA 510 00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:34,000 INTO SONGS: PART FOUR. 511 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,000 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 512 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:45,015 ♪ WHICH SALAD DRESSIN 513 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:45,015 IS YOUR FAVORITE 514 00:13:45,015 --> 00:13:49,010 KEN'S STEAKHOUSE ♪ 515 00:13:45,015 --> 00:13:49,010 ♪ BLUE CHEESE DRESSIN 516 00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:53,014 BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT 517 00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:53,014 BLUE CHEESE ♪ 518 00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:55,008 ♪ BLUE CHEESE 519 00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:55,008 HAS MOLD IN IT 520 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:59,012 BLUE CHEESE ♪ 521 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:59,012 ♪ BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN I 522 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:04,003 RANC 523 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:04,003 RANCH IS GOOD ♪ 524 00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:07,005 ♪ BLUE CHEESE 525 00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:07,005 THERE IS MOLD IN BLUE CHEESE 526 00:14:07,005 --> 00:14:12,006 GROSS ♪ 527 00:14:07,005 --> 00:14:12,006 ♪ DEPENDS O 528 00:14:12,006 --> 00:14:13,015 WHAT KIND OF SALAD 529 00:14:12,006 --> 00:14:13,015 I PUT IT ON ♪ 530 00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,028 ♪ I IMAGINE RASPBERRY 531 00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,028 TASTES GOO 532 00:14:14,028 --> 00:14:17,000 WITH CHICKEN AND -- NUTS ♪ 533 00:14:14,028 --> 00:14:17,000 ♪ -- WHILE CHUNKY 534 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,009 BLUE CHEES 535 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,009 MIGHT BE YUMMY ♪ 536 00:14:18,009 --> 00:14:19,025 ♪ WITH TUNA PERHAPS 537 00:14:18,009 --> 00:14:19,025 PERSONALLY I LIK 538 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:22,014 A HONEY MUSTARD DRESSING ♪ 539 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:22,014 ♪ OH SO YOU LIK 540 00:14:22,014 --> 00:14:28,008 CHUNKY MOLD DRESSING HUH 541 00:14:22,014 --> 00:14:28,008 OH BLUE CHEESE ♪ 542 00:14:28,008 --> 00:14:32,016 ♪ HAS MOLD IN I 543 00:14:28,008 --> 00:14:32,016 BLUE CHEES 544 00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:37,010 HAS MOLD IN IT ♪ 545 00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:37,010 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 546 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,016 >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO 547 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,016 ALISON BRIE AND LUBALIN. 548 00:14:39,016 --> 00:14:43,017 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 549 00:14:39,016 --> 00:14:43,017 LUBALIN. 550 00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:45,013 CHECK OUT @LUBALIN ON TIKTOK 551 00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:45,013 AND GIVE HIM A FOLLOW. 552 00:14:45,013 --> 00:14:47,002 WHY NOT? 553 00:14:45,013 --> 00:14:47,002 WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE 554 00:14:47,002 --> 00:14:48,014 "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. 555 00:14:47,002 --> 00:14:48,014 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 556 00:14:48,014 --> 00:15:06,016 ♪ 557 00:14:48,014 --> 00:15:06,016 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, 558 00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:07,029 EVERYBODY. 559 00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:07,029 IT IS TIME FOR 560 00:15:07,029 --> 00:15:14,006 "THE TONIGHT SHOW" HASHTAGS. 561 00:15:07,029 --> 00:15:14,006 ♪ HASHTAGS ♪ 562 00:15:14,006 --> 00:15:19,029 ♪ HASHTAGS ♪ 563 00:15:14,006 --> 00:15:19,029 >> Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING 564 00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:22,012 EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT 565 00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:22,012 A HASHTAG AND ASK YOU GUYS TO 566 00:15:22,012 --> 00:15:25,013 RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC. 567 00:15:22,012 --> 00:15:25,013 SO THIS WEEK I SENT OUT THE 568 00:15:25,013 --> 00:15:28,028 HASHTAG, #MYWORSTCAR, AND WE 569 00:15:25,013 --> 00:15:28,028 ASKED YOU GUYS TO TELL US 570 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,024 A WEIRD OR FUNNY STORY ABOUT A 571 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,024 A BAD CAR THAT YOU OWNED 572 00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:33,012 WITHIN MINUTES, IT WAS A 573 00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:33,012 A TRENDING TOPIC IN THE U.S. 574 00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:35,025 FOR A LONG TIME. 575 00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:35,025 SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 576 00:15:35,025 --> 00:15:39,001 PLAYING ALONG AGAIN. 577 00:15:35,025 --> 00:15:39,001 IT'S FUN -- IT'S FUN FOR US. 578 00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:43,003 THE HASHTAG WAS #MYWORSTCAR. 579 00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:43,003 AND SO PEOPLE WOULD JUST TALK 580 00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:48,022 ABOUT THEIR WORST CAR. 581 00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:48,022 BUT WHAT I FOUND FROM READING 582 00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:50,018 ALL THESE, REALLY, A LOT OF 583 00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:50,018 THEM -- MANY OF THEM ENDED 584 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:53,019 WITH, "I LOVE THAT CAR," OR, "I 585 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:53,019 MISS THAT CAR. 586 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,029 SO THESE ARE TWEETS -- THIS IS 587 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,029 MORE OF A SALUTE TO ALL THE 588 00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:57,021 CARS OUT THERE THAT WE LOVE AND 589 00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:57,021 MISS 590 00:15:57,021 --> 00:16:01,006 SO NOW I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME 591 00:15:57,021 --> 00:16:01,006 OF MY FAVORITE #MYWORSTCAR 592 00:16:01,006 --> 00:16:02,009 RESPONSES FROM YOU GUYS. 593 00:16:01,006 --> 00:16:02,009 THIS ONE'S FROM 594 00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:06,017 @TARADUBLINROCKS 595 00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:06,017 SHE SAYS, "MY COLLEGE ROOMMATE 596 00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:10,015 HAD THE UGLIEST BROWN TOYOTA 597 00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:10,015 SHE LOST THE KEYS BUT COULD 598 00:16:10,015 --> 00:16:12,011 UNLOCK IT AND START IT WITH 599 00:16:10,015 --> 00:16:12,011 A BENT FORK THAT SHE STOLE FROM 600 00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:15,026 THE CAFETERIA. 601 00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:15,026 WE CALLED IT MR. POTATO CAR. 602 00:16:15,026 --> 00:16:21,026 [ APPLAUSE ] 603 00:16:15,026 --> 00:16:21,026 MR. POTATO CAR 604 00:16:21,026 --> 00:16:26,013 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA FOR A TOY 605 00:16:21,026 --> 00:16:26,013 THIS ONE'S FROM @PYOLKS. 606 00:16:26,013 --> 00:16:29,012 HE SAYS, "BOUGHT A 607 00:16:26,013 --> 00:16:29,012 A 2002 FORD ESCAPE 608 00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:31,028 THE DOORS ON THE LEFT SIDE HAVE 609 00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:31,028 LOCK ISSUES SO YOU HAD TO 610 00:16:31,028 --> 00:16:34,012 LITERALLY ESCAPE THROUGH THE 611 00:16:31,028 --> 00:16:34,012 WINDOWS. 612 00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:41,000 GOOD EXERCISE, THOUGH. 613 00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:41,000 FORD ESCAPE. 614 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:47,007 THIS ONE'S FROM @MAMALAFAFALA 615 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:47,007 SHE SAYS, "MY '87 JEEP CHEROKEE 616 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:50,018 WOULD SQUIRT REAR WINDOW FLUID 617 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:50,018 IN AN ARCH LIKE A LION SPRAYING 618 00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:53,013 ITS TERRITORY. 619 00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:53,013 IT WOULD HIT TAILGATERS SMACK 620 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,026 IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR 621 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,026 WINDSHIELD AND STARTLE THE CRAP 622 00:16:55,026 --> 00:16:57,018 OUT OF THEM. 623 00:16:55,026 --> 00:16:57,018 I KEPT IT THAT WAY FOR 624 00:16:57,018 --> 00:17:00,012 15 YEARS." 625 00:16:57,018 --> 00:17:00,012 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 626 00:17:00,012 --> 00:17:07,000 #MYBESTCAR 627 00:17:00,012 --> 00:17:07,000 THAT'S SO -- THAT'S SO FUNNY 628 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,024 THIS ONE'S FROM @NEVERTREV 629 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,024 HEY TREV, YOU WANT GO OUT 630 00:17:11,024 --> 00:17:16,012 TONIGHT, GET SOMETHING TO EAT? 631 00:17:11,024 --> 00:17:16,012 >> NEVER 632 00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:20,027 >> Jimmy: HE SAYS, "THE WIPERS 633 00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:20,027 WERE BROKEN AND IT STARTED 634 00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:22,029 POURING OUT OF NOWHERE 635 00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:22,029 MY FRIEND HAD TO TAKE OFF HIS 636 00:17:22,029 --> 00:17:25,011 SHIRT AND REACH OUT THE WINDOW 637 00:17:22,029 --> 00:17:25,011 TO WIPE THE RAIN AS I DROVE. 638 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:29,025 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 639 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:29,025 HEY, I THINK IT'S RAINING. 640 00:17:29,025 --> 00:17:31,024 HEY, FABIO, IT'S NOT RAINING 641 00:17:29,025 --> 00:17:31,024 IT'S FINE. 642 00:17:31,024 --> 00:17:35,026 ARE YOU SURE 643 00:17:31,024 --> 00:17:35,026 LET ME JUST WIPE THE 644 00:17:35,026 --> 00:17:41,003 WINDSHIELD 645 00:17:35,026 --> 00:17:41,003 SOMEONE'S UNDER ARREST 646 00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:46,010 WHAT 647 00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:46,010 TREVOR, DO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME 648 00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:53,017 A RIDE TO SCHOOL 649 00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:53,017 >> NEVER 650 00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:57,022 >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM 651 00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:57,022 @BECCAJOENELSON. 652 00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:59,027 SHE SAYS "WHEN WAITING IN 653 00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:59,027 A TACO BELL DRIVE-THROUGH, FIRE 654 00:17:59,027 --> 00:18:02,019 SUDDENLY STARTED SPITTING OUT 655 00:17:59,027 --> 00:18:02,019 FROM THE PARKING BRAKE 656 00:18:02,019 --> 00:18:04,025 WE HAD TO PUT IT OUT WITH BEACH 657 00:18:02,019 --> 00:18:04,025 TOWELS AND A CUP OF WATER THE 658 00:18:04,025 --> 00:18:08,014 DRIVE-THROUGH WORKER GAVE US." 659 00:18:04,025 --> 00:18:08,014 WHY DID YOU ORDER THE FIRE 660 00:18:08,014 --> 00:18:13,018 SAUCE? 661 00:18:08,014 --> 00:18:13,018 THIS ONE'S FROM @NBWREATH. 662 00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:16,006 SHE SAYS, "14-YEAR-OLD HONDA 663 00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:16,006 PRELUDE. 664 00:18:16,006 --> 00:18:18,012 HAD TO CONTINUOUSLY HOLD DOWN 665 00:18:16,006 --> 00:18:18,012 THE A.C. BUTTON WITH YOUR 666 00:18:18,012 --> 00:18:20,021 FINGER OR IT WOULD TURN OFF. 667 00:18:18,012 --> 00:18:20,021 SOMETIMES I WOULD USE MY FOOT 668 00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:28,008 INSTEAD. 669 00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:28,008 SO YOU -- WHAT 670 00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:32,002 GAS WITH YOUR LEFT AND THEN -- 671 00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:32,002 WHAT IS GOING ON 672 00:18:32,002 --> 00:18:34,021 THAT SOUNDS GOOD. THIS ONE'S 673 00:18:32,002 --> 00:18:34,021 FROM @KIMYARBOROUGH. 674 00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:35,024 SHE SAYS, "I THOUGHT IT WAS THE 675 00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:35,024 CUTEST CAR UNTIL IT 676 00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:40,008 SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED ONE 677 00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:40,008 NIGHT LIKE A JAMES BOND MOVIE. 678 00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:42,027 IT WAS A PILE OF ASHES BEFORE 679 00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:42,027 THE FIRE DEPARTMENT EVEN 680 00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:44,019 ARRIVED. 681 00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:44,019 BRAND NAME OF THE CAR? 682 00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:47,018 PONTIAC FIERO. 683 00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:47,018 [ LAUGHTER ] 684 00:18:47,018 --> 00:18:50,026 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 685 00:18:47,018 --> 00:18:50,026 FIERO. 686 00:18:50,026 --> 00:18:53,024 THIS ONE'S FROM @SARAHSHAFER 687 00:18:50,026 --> 00:18:53,024 SHE SAYS, "THE WORST CAR WAS MY 688 00:18:53,024 --> 00:18:56,021 '86 JETTA IN HIGH SCHOOL 689 00:18:53,024 --> 00:18:56,021 THE HORN WOULD HONK WHEN YOU 690 00:18:56,021 --> 00:19:00,018 WOULD TURN LEFT UNLESS YOU HELD 691 00:18:56,021 --> 00:19:00,018 THE LIGHTS HALFWAY BETWEEN 692 00:19:00,018 --> 00:19:04,013 REGULAR AND HIGH BEAMS." 693 00:19:00,018 --> 00:19:04,013 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 694 00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:05,017 >> Questlove: WAIT, WAIT, HOW 695 00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:05,017 DO YOU FIGURE THAT OUT 696 00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,029 >> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO SAY, 697 00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,029 HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT? 698 00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:08,027 THAT'S HOW MUCH TIME WE SPENT 699 00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:08,027 IN OUR CAR 700 00:19:08,027 --> 00:19:11,006 LIKE, "WHOA. 701 00:19:08,027 --> 00:19:11,006 LIKE, "TURN THE HORN OFF." THIS 702 00:19:11,006 --> 00:19:17,013 ONE'S FROM @LAUREL 703 00:19:11,006 --> 00:19:17,013 SHE SAYS, "I WAS GIVEN A LOANER 704 00:19:17,013 --> 00:19:19,022 CAR WITH A BROKEN BLINKER. 705 00:19:17,013 --> 00:19:19,022 WHILE SITTING AT A LIGHT I GOT 706 00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:22,027 HIT FROM BEHIND. 707 00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:22,027 THE IMPACT ACTUALLY FIXED IT." 708 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:28,005 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 709 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:28,005 THAT'S GOOD. 710 00:19:28,005 --> 00:19:29,011 THIS ONE'S FROM @MMCLINTWORTH. 711 00:19:29,011 --> 00:19:33,005 SHE SAYS, MY DASH BOARD STARTED 712 00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:33,005 DOING THIS WHILE I WAS DRIVING 713 00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:33,005 HERE'S A VIDEO 714 00:19:40,015 --> 00:19:43,016 NO, WE NEED GAS. 715 00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:43,016 WE'RE DOING 150. 716 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,025 THIS LAST ONE'S FROM 717 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,025 @RENEEJORDAN78 718 00:19:47,025 --> 00:19:49,001 SHE SAYS, "EVERY TIME A WENT TO 719 00:19:47,025 --> 00:19:49,001 CLOSE THE TRUNK, ONE OF THE 720 00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:51,023 DOORS WOULD POP OPEN 721 00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:51,023 WHEN I CLOSED THE DOOR THE 722 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:55,008 TRUNK WOULD OPEN AGAIN 723 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:55,008 STILL MY FAVORITE CAR. 724 00:19:55,008 --> 00:19:56,027 THERE YOU HAVE IT. 725 00:19:55,008 --> 00:19:56,027 THOSE ARE "TONIGHT SHOW" 726 00:19:56,027 --> 00:19:57,029 HASHTAGS. TO CHECK OUT MORE OF 727 00:19:56,027 --> 00:19:57,029 OUR FAVORITES, GO TO 728 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,015 TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS 729 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,015 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 730 00:20:01,015 --> 00:20:19,001 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL 731 00:20:01,015 --> 00:20:19,001 ♪ 732 00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,024 >> Jimmy: MY FIRST GUESS IS ONE 733 00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,024 OF THE MOST DOMINANT PLAYERS IN 734 00:20:20,024 --> 00:20:24,001 NBA HISTORY. 735 00:20:20,024 --> 00:20:24,001 HE'S A FOUR-TIME NBA CHAMPION, 736 00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:26,005 AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST AND 737 00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:26,005 THE MEMBER OF THE BASKETBALL 738 00:20:26,005 --> 00:20:32,017 HALL OF FAME 739 00:20:26,005 --> 00:20:32,017 NOW YOU CAN CATCH HIM AS AN 740 00:20:32,017 --> 00:20:36,011 ANALYST ON TNT'S "IN THE NBA." 741 00:20:32,017 --> 00:20:36,011 HERE IS THE ONE AND ONLY 742 00:20:36,011 --> 00:20:38,022 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL 743 00:20:36,011 --> 00:20:38,022 YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, BUDDY 744 00:20:38,022 --> 00:20:41,010 >> YES, THANK YOU, BROTHER 745 00:20:38,022 --> 00:20:41,010 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU THE 746 00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,020 RESOLUTION TYPE? 747 00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,020 DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW YEAR'S 748 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:46,028 RESOLUTIONS YOU'RE STICKING TO 749 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:46,028 >> YOU KNOW WHAT 750 00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:49,000 LAST YEAR WAS A TERRIBLE YEAR 751 00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:49,000 FOR EVERYBODY. 752 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,029 MY SISTER PASSED AWAY. 753 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,029 MY GOOD FRIEND KOBE PASSED 754 00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:52,014 AWAY 755 00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:52,014 I WAS JUST -- YOU KNOW, I FELT 756 00:20:52,014 --> 00:20:53,024 LETHARGIC, AND I TRIED 757 00:20:52,014 --> 00:20:53,024 EVERYTHING 758 00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:58,028 THEN I GOT INTRODUCED TO A 759 00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:58,028 A PRODUCT, GF-9. 760 00:20:58,028 --> 00:21:00,008 AND I STARTED TAKING THE 761 00:20:58,028 --> 00:21:00,008 PRODUCT FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS 762 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,011 NOW I'M MORE ACTIVE, I SLEEP 763 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,011 THROUGH THE NIGHT, I HAVE 764 00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:02,017 ENERGY, I WORK OUT ALL THE 765 00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:02,017 TIME,AND I HAVE SOMETHING UNDER 766 00:21:02,017 --> 00:21:09,007 THIS SHIRT THAT I HAVEN'T HAD 767 00:21:02,017 --> 00:21:09,007 IN A LONG TIME 768 00:21:09,007 --> 00:21:12,029 IT'S CALLED A 4.9/5.2 PACK 769 00:21:09,007 --> 00:21:12,029 IT'S NOT A SIX-PACK YET, BUT 770 00:21:12,029 --> 00:21:15,017 IT'S VERY, VERY CLOSE, SO. 771 00:21:12,029 --> 00:21:15,017 >> Jimmy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE 772 00:21:15,017 --> 00:21:18,029 GOING TO SAY SPANX 773 00:21:15,017 --> 00:21:18,029 >> NO, NO SPANX. 774 00:21:18,029 --> 00:21:24,006 LISTEN, LAST YEAR -- LIKE LAST 775 00:21:18,029 --> 00:21:24,006 YEAR AT ONE POINT I HAD THE -- 776 00:21:24,006 --> 00:21:27,009 I HAD THE B.O.T.B. 777 00:21:24,006 --> 00:21:27,009 THAT'S THE BARKLEY OVER THE 778 00:21:27,009 --> 00:21:29,020 BELT BELLY, AND I DIDN'T WANT 779 00:21:27,009 --> 00:21:29,020 TO HAVE THAT 780 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,029 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 781 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,029 YOU LIKE THAT? 782 00:21:31,029 --> 00:21:33,015 THE B.O.T.B.B. 783 00:21:31,029 --> 00:21:33,015 THE BARKLEY OVER THE BELT 784 00:21:33,015 --> 00:21:35,020 BELLY. 785 00:21:33,015 --> 00:21:35,020 [ LAUGHTER ] 786 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,026 >> Jimmy: OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, 787 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,026 THOUGH 788 00:21:36,026 --> 00:21:38,009 YOU ARE ON THE NAUGHTY LIST, A 789 00:21:36,026 --> 00:21:38,009 A LITTLE BIT 790 00:21:38,009 --> 00:21:39,008 YOU KNOW WHY 791 00:21:38,009 --> 00:21:39,008 BECAUSE -- >> WHY? 792 00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:41,008 WHAT DID I DO? 793 00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:41,008 >> Jimmy: KEVIN HART WAS ON OUR 794 00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:44,010 SHOW, THE VERY FUNNY 795 00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:44,010 KEVIN HART 796 00:21:44,010 --> 00:21:45,017 AND HE MADE A BET WITH YOU, AND 797 00:21:44,010 --> 00:21:45,017 YOU MAKE BETS EVERY NOW AND 798 00:21:45,017 --> 00:21:47,008 THEN 799 00:21:47,008 --> 00:21:50,019 IT DIDN'T QUITE GO YOUR WAY. 800 00:21:48,011 --> 00:21:50,019 WE HAVE A CLIP OF THIS. TAKE A 801 00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,019 A LOOK AT THIS 802 00:21:51,013 --> 00:21:53,022 >> WHERE THE BABIES AT 803 00:21:51,013 --> 00:21:53,022 >> HEY, MAN, THE BABIES ARE ALL 804 00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:54,025 AROUND, RUNNING AROUND 805 00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:54,025 THEY ALL RUNNING AROUND. >> 806 00:21:54,025 --> 00:21:59,002 WELL, CAN I SAY HI 807 00:21:54,025 --> 00:21:59,002 >> THAT'LL SCARE HIM 808 00:21:59,002 --> 00:22:02,011 THAT'LL SCARE HIM. >> NO, IT 809 00:21:59,002 --> 00:22:02,011 WILL NOT SCARE HIM 810 00:22:02,011 --> 00:22:03,023 I BET YOU $1,000 THAT WHEN I 811 00:22:02,011 --> 00:22:03,023 SMILE HE'S GOING TO SMILE. 812 00:22:03,023 --> 00:22:07,022 BET IT 813 00:22:03,023 --> 00:22:07,022 >> KID'S UP. 814 00:22:07,022 --> 00:22:08,024 ALL RIGHT. 815 00:22:07,022 --> 00:22:08,024 YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF -- 816 00:22:08,024 --> 00:22:12,009 $1,000BET. 817 00:22:08,024 --> 00:22:12,009 IF MY SON CRY -- IF MY SON CRY, 818 00:22:12,009 --> 00:22:15,021 I WANT THE MONEY 819 00:22:12,009 --> 00:22:15,021 >> NO, HE'S GONNA SMILE. 820 00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:17,002 >> ARE YOU - 821 00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:17,002 YOU GONNA CRY SOME -- ARE YOU 822 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:20,022 GAGGING? 823 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:20,022 SHAQ, HE'S GAGGING 824 00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:23,017 >> OH, SEE, NO-NO. 825 00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:23,017 >> WHAT'S WRONG, SON 826 00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:25,006 DID SHAQ SCARE YOU 827 00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:25,006 >> YEAH. 828 00:22:25,006 --> 00:22:30,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 829 00:22:25,006 --> 00:22:30,000 >> NO, NO, NO, KEVIN SET ME UP 830 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,013 >> Jimmy: NO WAY, HE DID NOT 831 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,013 SET YOU UP. YES HE -- HE SET ME 832 00:22:31,013 --> 00:22:33,028 UP 833 00:22:31,013 --> 00:22:33,028 [ LAUGHTER ] 834 00:22:33,028 --> 00:22:35,024 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU GAGGING, HE 835 00:22:33,028 --> 00:22:35,024 SAID TO THE BABY 836 00:22:35,024 --> 00:22:39,028 >> ARE YOU GAGGING 837 00:22:35,024 --> 00:22:39,028 >> Jimmy: GOD DANG, HE'S FUNNY, 838 00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:42,024 MAN. 839 00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:42,024 DO YOU WANT TO WRITE KEVIN A 840 00:22:42,024 --> 00:22:46,009 A CHECK RIGHT NOW ON NATIONAL 841 00:22:42,024 --> 00:22:46,009 TELEVISION 842 00:22:46,009 --> 00:22:47,015 >> I DON'T HAVE A CHECKBOOK, 843 00:22:46,009 --> 00:22:47,015 BUT KEVIN HART, I WILL NOT PAY 844 00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:49,028 YOU YOUR MONEY 845 00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:49,028 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD 846 00:22:49,028 --> 00:22:52,027 YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE 847 00:22:49,028 --> 00:22:52,027 >> YOU WILL NOT BE RECEIVING 848 00:22:52,027 --> 00:22:54,002 ONE DIME, ONE PENNY, ONE NICKEL 849 00:22:52,027 --> 00:22:54,002 FROM ME. 850 00:22:54,002 --> 00:22:56,025 [ LAUGHTER ] 851 00:22:54,002 --> 00:22:56,025 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD. >> YOU 852 00:22:56,025 --> 00:22:58,023 SET ME UP, KEVIN 853 00:22:56,025 --> 00:22:58,023 >> Jimmy: IT'S ONE OF THE 854 00:22:58,023 --> 00:23:00,025 FUNNIEST CLIPS 855 00:22:58,023 --> 00:23:00,025 HEY, UH, SPEAKING OF KIDS, YOUR 856 00:23:00,025 --> 00:23:02,001 SON SHAREEF TRANSFERRED THIS 857 00:23:00,025 --> 00:23:02,001 SEASON FROM UCLA TO YOUR ALMA 858 00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:07,025 MATER, LSU 859 00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:07,025 >> WOW 860 00:23:07,025 --> 00:23:09,027 >> Jimmy: RIGHT? 861 00:23:07,025 --> 00:23:09,027 COME ON, THAT'S GOT TO BE COOL, 862 00:23:09,027 --> 00:23:12,001 BUDDY. 863 00:23:09,027 --> 00:23:12,001 BACK IN THOSE DAYS YOU USED TO 864 00:23:12,001 --> 00:23:18,006 DUNK SO HARD, I MEAN, YOU WOULD 865 00:23:12,001 --> 00:23:18,006 SHATTER BACKBOARDS 866 00:23:18,006 --> 00:23:20,014 YOU WOULD JUST BREAK THEM. 867 00:23:18,006 --> 00:23:20,014 THEY CHANGED TECHNOLOGY BECAUSE 868 00:23:20,014 --> 00:23:23,011 OF YOU 869 00:23:20,014 --> 00:23:23,011 DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME 870 00:23:23,011 --> 00:23:26,003 YOU EVER DUNKED IN A GAME? 871 00:23:23,011 --> 00:23:26,003 HOW OLD WERE YOU 872 00:23:26,003 --> 00:23:29,021 >> I WAS A LATE BLOOMER. 873 00:23:26,003 --> 00:23:29,021 I DIDN'T DUNK UNTIL MY -- THE 874 00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:32,023 BEGINNING OF MY SENIOR YEAR. 875 00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:32,023 I PROBABLY HAD THE ABILITY TO 876 00:23:32,023 --> 00:23:36,001 DUNK, BUT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE 877 00:23:32,023 --> 00:23:36,001 SMOOTH, JIMMY. 878 00:23:36,001 --> 00:23:37,007 SO I WAS -- YOU KNOW, I WAS 879 00:23:36,001 --> 00:23:37,007 MORE INTO MY MAGIC JOHNSON, 880 00:23:37,007 --> 00:23:38,011 DR. J, YOU KNOW, JUMP SHOTS OFF 881 00:23:37,007 --> 00:23:38,011 THE GLASS, FINGER ROLL, 882 00:23:38,011 --> 00:23:44,020 CROSSING PEOPLE UP 883 00:23:38,011 --> 00:23:44,020 ONE TIME IN THE GAME I HAD 884 00:23:44,020 --> 00:23:48,022 46 POINTS IN THE THIRD QUARTER 885 00:23:44,020 --> 00:23:48,022 I WAS KILLING IT 886 00:23:48,022 --> 00:23:50,007 I WAS PLAYING AGAINST GUYS YOUR 887 00:23:48,022 --> 00:23:50,007 SIZE 888 00:23:50,007 --> 00:23:53,005 I WAS KILLING IT 889 00:23:50,007 --> 00:23:53,005 SO, I CROSS THIS GUY UP. 890 00:23:53,005 --> 00:23:56,025 HALF-COURT, CROWDS GO CRAZY. 891 00:23:53,005 --> 00:23:56,025 I GO INTO A NICE FINGER ROLL, 892 00:23:56,025 --> 00:23:58,024 AND I MISS 893 00:23:56,025 --> 00:23:58,024 MY FATHER, REST IN PEACE, WALKS 894 00:23:58,024 --> 00:24:00,023 ON TO THE COURT, CALLS A 895 00:23:58,024 --> 00:24:00,023 A TIME-OUT, GRABS ME BY THE 896 00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:05,000 ARM, TAKES ME OUTSIDE. 897 00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:05,000 SEE, I PLAYED IN A HIGH SCHOOL 898 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,028 THAT HAD A LITTLE GYM. 899 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,028 BEHIND US WAS A WALL 900 00:24:08,028 --> 00:24:11,007 AND ON THE OTHER SIDE, THEY HAD 901 00:24:08,028 --> 00:24:11,007 BLEACHERS THAT HAD ONE, TWO, 902 00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:14,015 THREE, FOUR, MAYBE FIVE SEATS. 903 00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:14,015 VERY SMALL GYM 904 00:24:14,015 --> 00:24:15,021 >> Jimmy: YEAH. >> SO HE TAKES 905 00:24:14,015 --> 00:24:15,021 ME OUTSIDE AND HE SAYS, "WHAT 906 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,005 ARE YOU DOING? 907 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,005 I SAID, "LOOK MAN, I ALREADY 908 00:24:17,005 --> 00:24:20,029 GOT 46." 909 00:24:17,005 --> 00:24:20,029 'CAUSE LOOK, I WAS AN 910 00:24:20,029 --> 00:24:22,014 ALL-AMERICAN, I WAS FEELING 911 00:24:20,029 --> 00:24:22,014 MYSELF 912 00:24:22,014 --> 00:24:26,006 I SAID, "LOOK MAN, I GOT 46. 913 00:24:22,014 --> 00:24:26,006 I MISSED THE LAY-UP, SO WHAT 914 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,002 I'M WORKING ON MY DR. J. 915 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,002 AND BEFORE I COULD GET THE 916 00:24:29,002 --> 00:24:32,017 DR. J OUT -- WHACK 917 00:24:29,002 --> 00:24:32,017 "AIN'T NO DR. J. 918 00:24:32,017 --> 00:24:34,006 YOU GOTTA TO BE THE FIRST 919 00:24:32,017 --> 00:24:34,006 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL 920 00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:37,018 SO, I WAS SO MAD AT HIM. 921 00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:37,018 AND THEN, LIKE, I COULD HAVE 922 00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:39,026 WALKED BACK IN THE GYM CRYING, 923 00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:39,026 BUT EVERYBODY KNEW 924 00:24:39,026 --> 00:24:42,012 SO COACH CALLED THE PLAY AND I 925 00:24:39,026 --> 00:24:42,012 SAID, "NO, GIVE IT TO ME." 926 00:24:42,012 --> 00:24:46,000 SO WHEN HE GOT IT TO ME, EVERY 927 00:24:42,012 --> 00:24:46,000 TIME I DUNKED, I WAS TRYING TO 928 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,028 RIP IT OFF FOR HIM, BECAUSE I 929 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,028 WAS MAD AT HIM 930 00:24:49,028 --> 00:24:51,002 >> Jimmy: WOW! WHEN I STARTED 931 00:24:49,028 --> 00:24:51,002 DUNKING, I STARTED SEEING 932 00:24:51,002 --> 00:24:52,007 OPPONENTS DOING THIS, AND I WAS 933 00:24:51,002 --> 00:24:52,007 LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT, ONCE 934 00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:53,000 AGAIN, SARGE HARRIS, YOU ARE 935 00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:53,000 RIGHT. 936 00:24:53,000 --> 00:25:00,016 YOU KNOW, TOLD PEOPLE THAT I 937 00:24:53,000 --> 00:25:00,016 WAS AN INTIMIDATING FORCE. 938 00:25:00,016 --> 00:25:04,024 BUT, IF HE WASN'T AROUND, I'D 939 00:25:00,016 --> 00:25:04,024 PROBABLY BE LIKE MOST OF THE 940 00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:06,007 BIG GUYS TODAY, SHOOTING 941 00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:06,007 JUMPERS, PLAYING A LITTLE BIT 942 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:09,009 SOFT 943 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:09,009 BUT I'M GLAD THAT HE WAS VERY, 944 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:10,015 VERY HARD ON ME. 945 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:10,015 >> Jimmy: I GOT A GOOD SKY 946 00:25:10,015 --> 00:25:12,014 HOOK 947 00:25:10,015 --> 00:25:12,014 >> I KNOW YOU DO 948 00:25:12,014 --> 00:25:14,022 I KNOW YOU DO. 949 00:25:12,014 --> 00:25:14,022 I CAN TELL 950 00:25:14,022 --> 00:25:15,028 >> Jimmy: I'LL FOUL YOU WITH 951 00:25:14,022 --> 00:25:15,028 THIS HAND AND A SKY HOOK WITH 952 00:25:15,028 --> 00:25:19,020 THIS ONE 953 00:25:15,028 --> 00:25:19,020 >> OKAY, GOOD. THAT'S MY MOVE. 954 00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:21,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 955 00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:21,000 >> Jimmy: HEY, I'VE TOLD YOU 956 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,011 THIS BEFORE, BUT YOU'RE 957 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,011 FANTASTIC ON "INSIDE THE NBA" 958 00:25:23,011 --> 00:25:27,012 ON TNT 959 00:25:23,011 --> 00:25:27,012 YOU AND BARKLEY HAVE SOME OF 960 00:25:27,012 --> 00:25:29,025 THE BEST CHEMISTRY ON TV 961 00:25:27,012 --> 00:25:29,025 THAT BEING SAID, IF YOU AND 962 00:25:29,025 --> 00:25:30,029 CHARLES BARKLEY PLAYED 963 00:25:29,025 --> 00:25:30,029 ONE-ON-ONE IN YOUR PRIME, GAME 964 00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:35,023 TO 11, WHAT WOULD THE FINAL 965 00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:35,023 SCORE BE AND WHO WOULD WIN IT? 966 00:25:35,023 --> 00:25:40,017 >> UH, 11-1. 967 00:25:35,023 --> 00:25:40,017 [ LAUGHTER ] 968 00:25:40,017 --> 00:25:45,014 11-1, ME 969 00:25:40,017 --> 00:25:45,014 JUST LISTEN, CHARLES - 970 00:25:45,014 --> 00:25:47,024 >> Jimmy: WITH RESPECT 971 00:25:45,014 --> 00:25:47,024 >> WITH RESPECT, LISTEN, 972 00:25:47,024 --> 00:25:50,017 CHARLES IS TOO LITTLE. 973 00:25:47,024 --> 00:25:50,017 I'M JUST GOING BACK HIS LITTLE 974 00:25:50,017 --> 00:25:54,007 ASS UNDER THE BASKET, AND WHEN 975 00:25:50,017 --> 00:25:54,007 I DUNK IT'S JUST GOING TO GO 976 00:25:54,007 --> 00:25:55,009 LIKE THAT. THAT'S THE ONLY 977 00:25:54,007 --> 00:25:55,009 THING YOU'RE GOING TO SEE. 978 00:25:55,009 --> 00:25:58,025 [ LAUGHTER ] 979 00:25:55,009 --> 00:25:58,025 THE RIM JUST GONNA SHAKE 980 00:25:58,025 --> 00:26:00,004 AND THE RIM'S JUST GONNA GO 981 00:25:58,025 --> 00:26:00,004 TILT, THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING 982 00:26:00,004 --> 00:26:02,003 TO SEE 983 00:26:00,004 --> 00:26:02,003 >> Jimmy: THE EARTHQUAKE, MAN. 984 00:26:02,003 --> 00:26:03,024 THE SHAQ-QUAKE 985 00:26:02,003 --> 00:26:03,024 >> LET ME STRAIGHTEN MY BACK 986 00:26:03,024 --> 00:26:05,024 OUT. >> Jimmy: GUYS, WHEN WE 987 00:26:03,024 --> 00:26:05,024 COME BACK, SHAQ AND I ARE GOING 988 00:26:05,024 --> 00:26:07,023 TO DO SOMETHING FUN. 989 00:26:05,024 --> 00:26:07,023 COME ON BACK 990 00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:26,022 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY 991 00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:26,022 ♪ 992 00:26:26,022 --> 00:26:28,011 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO "THE 993 00:26:26,022 --> 00:26:28,011 TONIGHT SHOW." 994 00:26:28,011 --> 00:26:30,019 I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE 995 00:26:28,011 --> 00:26:30,019 AMAZING SHAQUILLE O'NEAL 996 00:26:30,019 --> 00:26:31,029 NOW, SHAQ, YOU'RE A MAN OF MANY 997 00:26:30,019 --> 00:26:31,029 TALENTS, SO I WANTED TO PUT 998 00:26:31,029 --> 00:26:34,001 YOUR IMPRESSION SKILLS TO THE 999 00:26:31,029 --> 00:26:34,001 TEST 1000 00:26:34,001 --> 00:26:39,002 IT IS TIME FOR "GUESS THE 1001 00:26:34,001 --> 00:26:39,002 IMPRESSION." 1002 00:26:39,002 --> 00:26:45,027 ♪ GUESS THE IMPRESSIO 1003 00:26:39,002 --> 00:26:45,027 GUESS THE IMPRESSION ♪ 1004 00:26:45,027 --> 00:26:48,024 >> Jimmy: WHY THIS 1005 00:26:45,027 --> 00:26:48,024 WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS 1006 00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:50,013 >> IS THIS WHAT THIS THING IS? 1007 00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:50,013 MY FAMILY WOULD NOT LET ME OPEN 1008 00:26:50,013 --> 00:26:52,029 THIS BOX 1009 00:26:50,013 --> 00:26:52,029 I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIFT. 1010 00:26:52,029 --> 00:26:54,002 I TRIED TO OPEN IT, THEY 1011 00:26:52,029 --> 00:26:54,002 TACKLED ME 1012 00:26:54,002 --> 00:26:56,008 "NO! 1013 00:26:54,002 --> 00:26:56,008 JIMMY SAID DON'T OPEN THE BOX! 1014 00:26:56,008 --> 00:26:57,017 [ LAUGHTER ] 1015 00:26:56,008 --> 00:26:57,017 SO NOW I CAN OPEN THIS LITTLE 1016 00:26:57,017 --> 00:26:58,017 BOX. 1017 00:26:57,017 --> 00:26:58,017 >> Jimmy: YES, YOU CAN OPEN 1018 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:01,005 THAT BOX 1019 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:01,005 >> JEEZ, THANK YOU 1020 00:27:01,005 --> 00:27:02,021 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOT A GIFT. 1021 00:27:01,005 --> 00:27:02,021 IT'S PART OF THE GAME. 1022 00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:04,020 IN FRONT OF -- >> OH, IT'S A 1023 00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:04,020 A GAME 1024 00:27:04,020 --> 00:27:05,027 >> Jimmy: SO, IT'S A STACK OF 1025 00:27:04,020 --> 00:27:05,027 CARDS WITH CELEBRITIES' NAMES 1026 00:27:05,027 --> 00:27:07,012 ON THEM. 1027 00:27:05,027 --> 00:27:07,012 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: ON YOUR 1028 00:27:07,012 --> 00:27:08,018 TURN, YOU DRAW A CARD AND HAVE 1029 00:27:07,012 --> 00:27:08,018 TO DO AN IMPRESSION OF WHOEVER 1030 00:27:08,018 --> 00:27:15,003 IT IS ON THE CARD AND TRY TO 1031 00:27:08,018 --> 00:27:15,003 GET THE OTHER PERSON TO GUESS. 1032 00:27:15,003 --> 00:27:17,015 AND YOU WANT TO OTHER PLAYER TO 1033 00:27:15,003 --> 00:27:17,015 GUESS AS MANY AS POSSIBLE 1034 00:27:17,015 --> 00:27:20,014 BEFORE THE TIMER RUNS OUT. 1035 00:27:17,015 --> 00:27:20,014 >> OKAY, READY 1036 00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:23,018 >> Jimmy: YEP. 1037 00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:23,018 YOU GO FIRST 1038 00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:25,020 READY? 1039 00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:25,020 SET, GO ♪ YOU AIN'T NOTHING 1040 00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:27,019 BUT A HOUND DOG ♪ 1041 00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:27,019 >> Jimmy: ELVIS PRESLEY. 1042 00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:29,012 [ BELL RINGING ] >> OKAY 1043 00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:29,012 THAT'S PRETTY GOOD 1044 00:27:29,012 --> 00:27:33,016 THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. HE 1045 00:27:29,012 --> 00:27:33,016 UNDERSTANDS ME 1046 00:27:33,016 --> 00:27:38,020 I GOT THAT MONEY 1047 00:27:33,016 --> 00:27:38,020 I GOT THE RED BOTTOMS ON 1048 00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:40,005 >> Jimmy: OH, CARDI B, CARDI B 1049 00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:40,005 [ BELL RINGING ] >> OKAY, OKAY, 1050 00:27:40,005 --> 00:27:40,026 OKAY 1051 00:27:40,005 --> 00:27:40,026 YEAH, BABY 1052 00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:47,002 GROOVY, BABY 1053 00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:47,002 >> Jimmy: MIKE MYERS -- 1054 00:27:47,002 --> 00:27:48,009 AUSTIN POWERS. 1055 00:27:47,002 --> 00:27:48,009 [ BELL RINGING ] >> PRETTY 1056 00:27:48,009 --> 00:27:52,001 GOOD 1057 00:27:48,009 --> 00:27:52,001 PRETTY GOOD. I CAN'T DO THAT 1058 00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:57,005 ONE. 1059 00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:57,005 THIS IS TERRIBLE, JIMMY -- 1060 00:27:57,005 --> 00:27:59,014 JIMMY FALLON 1061 00:27:57,005 --> 00:27:59,014 DON'T BELIEVE THAT 1062 00:27:59,014 --> 00:28:00,013 CHARLES BARKLEY JOKE THAT'S 1063 00:27:59,014 --> 00:28:00,013 TERRIBLE >> Jimmy: 1064 00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:01,023 CHARLES BARKLEY. 1065 00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:01,023 CHARLES BARKLEY [ BELL 1066 00:28:01,023 --> 00:28:07,013 RINGING ] >> YES, IT IS. 1067 00:28:01,023 --> 00:28:07,013 YES, IT IS 1068 00:28:07,013 --> 00:28:09,015 OKAY. ARE YOU GAGGING LITTLE 1069 00:28:07,013 --> 00:28:09,015 BABY 1070 00:28:09,015 --> 00:28:10,028 IS SHAQ MAKING YOU GAG, LITTLE 1071 00:28:09,015 --> 00:28:10,028 BABY 1072 00:28:10,028 --> 00:28:13,016 [ LAUGHTER ] 1073 00:28:10,028 --> 00:28:13,016 >> Jimmy: KEVIN HART 1074 00:28:13,016 --> 00:28:16,021 [ BELL RINGING ] OH, MY. 1075 00:28:13,016 --> 00:28:16,021 [ LAUGHTER ] 1076 00:28:16,021 --> 00:28:19,013 >> YES 1077 00:28:16,021 --> 00:28:19,013 I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS 1078 00:28:19,013 --> 00:28:20,026 WITH THAT WOMAN. 1079 00:28:19,013 --> 00:28:20,026 >> Jimmy: BILL CLINTON 1080 00:28:20,026 --> 00:28:24,012 [ BELL RINGING ] ONE SECOND. 1081 00:28:20,026 --> 00:28:24,012 THAT'S GOOD, THOUGH. 1082 00:28:24,012 --> 00:28:27,013 WE DID WELL. 1083 00:28:24,012 --> 00:28:27,013 SHAQ, SIX. 1084 00:28:27,013 --> 00:28:30,008 SIX. 1085 00:28:27,013 --> 00:28:30,008 THAT MIGHT BE A RECORD 1086 00:28:30,008 --> 00:28:33,027 YOU GOT TO GUESS AS MANY 1087 00:28:30,008 --> 00:28:33,027 YOU GOT TO BEAT SIX. 1088 00:28:33,027 --> 00:28:36,009 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 1089 00:28:33,027 --> 00:28:36,009 AND READY, SET, GO 1090 00:28:36,009 --> 00:28:43,028 UH 1091 00:28:36,009 --> 00:28:43,028 MICHELLE 1092 00:28:43,028 --> 00:28:48,016 YES, WE CAN. 1093 00:28:43,028 --> 00:28:48,016 >> OBAMA, OBAMA, OBAMA 1094 00:28:48,016 --> 00:28:50,000 >> Jimmy: MICKEY, HOW YOU 1095 00:28:48,016 --> 00:28:50,000 DOING? 1096 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,001 >> - 1097 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,001 >> Jimmy: YEAH 1098 00:28:51,001 --> 00:29:00,014 ELLIOT 1099 00:28:51,001 --> 00:29:00,014 REESE'S PIECES 1100 00:29:00,014 --> 00:29:02,026 >> E.T. PHONE HOME 1101 00:29:00,014 --> 00:29:02,026 >> Jimmy: YEAH 1102 00:29:02,026 --> 00:29:09,002 OH -- YOU CAN'T SEE ME 1103 00:29:02,026 --> 00:29:09,002 >> JOHN CENA 1104 00:29:09,002 --> 00:29:10,022 >> Jimmy: I GAVE A LITTLE EXTRA 1105 00:29:09,002 --> 00:29:10,022 SPOCK IN THAT ONE. 1106 00:29:10,022 --> 00:29:12,021 OH 1107 00:29:10,022 --> 00:29:12,021 OKAY 1108 00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:17,025 READY FOR THIS 1109 00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:17,025 LET'S MEDITATE AND THEN RUN THE 1110 00:29:17,025 --> 00:29:21,006 TRIANGLE OFFENSE 1111 00:29:17,025 --> 00:29:21,006 >> JACKSON 1112 00:29:21,006 --> 00:29:22,009 >> Jimmy: UH -- EATING 1113 00:29:21,006 --> 00:29:22,009 SPAGHETTI WITH DAVE BRIGETTI, 1114 00:29:22,009 --> 00:29:23,013 PLAYING THE YANKEES, SPANKY'S 1115 00:29:22,009 --> 00:29:23,013 MY FAVORITE LITTLE RASCAL 1116 00:29:23,013 --> 00:29:34,013 [ BLEEP ]. 1117 00:29:23,013 --> 00:29:34,013 >> UH. 1118 00:29:34,013 --> 00:29:35,020 THE DUDE FROM HOUSE OF NEW 1119 00:29:34,013 --> 00:29:35,020 JERSEY 1120 00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:39,011 PAULY D. 1121 00:29:35,020 --> 00:29:39,011 >> Jimmy: MA'S SPAGHETTI 1122 00:29:39,011 --> 00:29:43,006 SWEATING ALREADY, HEAVY SETEE. 1123 00:29:39,011 --> 00:29:43,006 FIVE TO SIX. 1124 00:29:43,006 --> 00:29:45,024 THAT WAS EMINEM. 1125 00:29:43,006 --> 00:29:45,024 THAT WAS TERRIBLE. 1126 00:29:45,024 --> 00:29:47,020 I DIDN'T WANT TO DID HIS REAL 1127 00:29:45,024 --> 00:29:47,020 LYRICS 1128 00:29:47,020 --> 00:29:48,024 FOR THIS THAT'S ROUND WE'RE 1129 00:29:47,020 --> 00:29:48,024 GOING TO SEE HOW MANY WE CAN 1130 00:29:48,024 --> 00:29:51,006 GET TOGETHER 1131 00:29:48,024 --> 00:29:51,006 WE'LL TAKE TURNS DRAWING CARDS 1132 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:54,010 AND GUESSING 1133 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:54,010 YOU DRAW FIRST 1134 00:29:54,010 --> 00:29:57,008 ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO. 1135 00:29:54,010 --> 00:29:57,008 >> CAN YOU TELL WHAT I'M 1136 00:29:57,008 --> 00:29:59,011 COOKING KEVIN HART 1137 00:29:57,008 --> 00:29:59,011 >> Jimmy: DWAYNE "THE ROCK" 1138 00:29:59,011 --> 00:30:06,024 JOHNSON. 1139 00:29:59,011 --> 00:30:06,024 DEBRA, EVERYBODY LOVES ME. 1140 00:30:06,024 --> 00:30:10,012 NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING 1141 00:30:06,024 --> 00:30:10,012 >> PASS. 1142 00:30:10,012 --> 00:30:14,000 >> Jimmy: THAT WAS RAY ROMANO. 1143 00:30:10,012 --> 00:30:14,000 YOU GO 1144 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,022 >> DID I DO THAT 1145 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,022 >> Jimmy: URKEL. 1146 00:30:17,022 --> 00:30:20,010 YOU ARE SO TALL. 1147 00:30:17,022 --> 00:30:20,010 YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST TALLEST 1148 00:30:20,010 --> 00:30:26,017 PEOPLE I'VE EVER SEEN. 1149 00:30:20,010 --> 00:30:26,017 >> WOODY ALLEN 1150 00:30:26,017 --> 00:30:27,026 >> Jimmy: NO, CLOSE. 1151 00:30:26,017 --> 00:30:27,026 BUT, NO -- WHAT, WHAT ARE 1152 00:30:27,026 --> 00:30:33,004 YOU -- 1153 00:30:27,026 --> 00:30:33,004 MY GRANDFATHER HAD THIS WATCH. 1154 00:30:33,004 --> 00:30:38,002 >> OH, I KNOW HIS NAME, BUT -- 1155 00:30:33,004 --> 00:30:38,002 >> Jimmy: CHRISTOPHER WATKIN 1156 00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:39,021 YOU DO 1157 00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:39,021 >> YEAH, CHRISTOPHER WATKIN. 1158 00:30:39,021 --> 00:30:41,010 >> Jimmy: YOU GO 1159 00:30:39,021 --> 00:30:41,010 >> FOR SHNIZZLE MY NIZZLE, 1160 00:30:41,010 --> 00:30:42,010 JIMMY. 1161 00:30:41,010 --> 00:30:42,010 >> Jimmy: IT'S NOT 1162 00:30:42,010 --> 00:30:46,001 BOOTSY COLLINS, SO I'M GOING TO 1163 00:30:42,010 --> 00:30:46,001 SAY SNOOP DOGG 1164 00:30:46,001 --> 00:30:47,017 >> YES, IT IS. 1165 00:30:46,001 --> 00:30:47,017 ♪ WHENEVER, WHENEVER, 1166 00:30:47,017 --> 00:30:54,000 WHENEVER ♪ 1167 00:30:47,017 --> 00:30:54,000 >> SHAKIRA 1168 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,023 >> Jimmy: YES. 1169 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,023 >> WE'LL GET A POINT FOR 1170 00:30:55,023 --> 00:30:57,002 SHAKIRA. 1171 00:30:55,023 --> 00:30:57,002 THAT WAS IT RIGHT THERE. 1172 00:30:57,002 --> 00:30:59,018 WE DID IT. 1173 00:30:57,002 --> 00:30:59,018 THAT'S IT. 1174 00:30:59,018 --> 00:31:04,005 YOU'RE 10 OUT OF 10. 1175 00:30:59,018 --> 00:31:04,005 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, EVERYBODY. 1176 00:31:04,005 --> 00:31:07,004 STICK AROUND FOR MORE "TONIGHT 1177 00:31:04,005 --> 00:31:07,004 SHOW." 1178 00:31:07,004 --> 00:31:08,003 SHAQ, COME BACK WHENEVER, 1179 00:31:07,004 --> 00:31:08,003 BUDDY. 1180 00:31:08,003 --> 00:31:09,011 WE LOVE YOU. 1181 00:31:08,003 --> 00:31:09,011 >> ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU, TOO, 1182 00:31:09,011 --> 00:31:27,011 BROTHER. 1183 00:31:09,011 --> 00:31:27,011 >> Jimmy: MY NEXT GUEST IS A 1184 00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:30,016 A GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATED 1185 00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:30,016 ACTRESS WHO STARS IN THE NEW 1186 00:31:30,016 --> 00:31:32,011 MOVIE "PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN," 1187 00:31:30,016 --> 00:31:32,011 WHICH IS IN THEATERS AND ON 1188 00:31:32,011 --> 00:31:37,009 DEMAND NOW 1189 00:31:32,011 --> 00:31:37,009 HERE SHE IS, ALISON BRIE 1190 00:31:37,009 --> 00:31:41,023 ♪ ALISON, BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD 1191 00:31:37,009 --> 00:31:41,023 IN IT ♪ 1192 00:31:41,023 --> 00:31:48,007 ♪ BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT ♪ 1193 00:31:41,023 --> 00:31:48,007 >> I PICKED A FEW BENDS. 1194 00:31:48,007 --> 00:31:50,011 GOT TO GIVE A FEW BENDS. 1195 00:31:48,007 --> 00:31:50,011 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE -- CAN I JUST 1196 00:31:50,011 --> 00:31:54,017 SAY SOMETHING? 1197 00:31:50,011 --> 00:31:54,017 WE CAN LEAVE THIS IN OR TAKE IT 1198 00:31:54,017 --> 00:31:58,019 OUT, BUT YOU GAVE US THREE 1199 00:31:54,017 --> 00:31:58,019 VERSIONS OF EVERYTHING 1200 00:31:58,019 --> 00:32:00,017 YOU GAVE US PERFECT VIDEO TAKES 1201 00:31:58,019 --> 00:32:00,017 AND EVERYTHING 1202 00:32:00,017 --> 00:32:02,007 OUR DIRECTOR WAS LIKE, "SHE 1203 00:32:00,017 --> 00:32:02,007 IS -- ALISON BRIE IS 1204 00:32:02,007 --> 00:32:06,021 UNBELIEVABLE." 1205 00:32:02,007 --> 00:32:06,021 I GO, "SHE'S SO FUNNY AND SO 1206 00:32:06,021 --> 00:32:08,000 TALENTED 1207 00:32:06,021 --> 00:32:08,000 SHE CAN SING." 1208 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,013 I GO, "DID YOU GIVE HER 1209 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,013 DIRECTION? 1210 00:32:09,013 --> 00:32:11,002 HE GOES, "NO, WE DIDN'T HAVE 1211 00:32:09,013 --> 00:32:11,002 TIME." 1212 00:32:11,002 --> 00:32:13,021 WE JUST BROUGHT -- GAVE HER THE 1213 00:32:11,002 --> 00:32:13,021 IDEA AND SHE JUST NAILED IT AND 1214 00:32:13,021 --> 00:32:16,004 SENT IT RIGHT OVER 1215 00:32:13,021 --> 00:32:16,004 THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT 1216 00:32:16,004 --> 00:32:17,020 HEY, I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW 1217 00:32:16,004 --> 00:32:17,020 ABOUT YOU TODAY I DON'T THINK I 1218 00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:19,025 KNEW 1219 00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:19,025 YOUR FIRST ON SCREEN ROLE WAS 1220 00:32:19,025 --> 00:32:22,027 HANNAH MONTANA 1221 00:32:19,025 --> 00:32:22,027 >> YES 1222 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:26,028 YES, IT WAS. 1223 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:26,028 >> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT 1224 00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:34,027 >> OH, YEAH! 1225 00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:34,027 WHAT A FACE. 1226 00:32:34,027 --> 00:32:36,018 UM, YOU KNOW, I WAS VERY 1227 00:32:34,027 --> 00:32:36,018 EXCITED. 1228 00:32:36,018 --> 00:32:37,029 BUT THE THING I REMEMBER MOST 1229 00:32:36,018 --> 00:32:37,029 IS THAT I DECIDED TO GO IN FOR 1230 00:32:37,029 --> 00:32:39,028 MY AUDITION WITH, LIKE, A VERY 1231 00:32:37,029 --> 00:32:39,028 BROAD LONG ISLAND ACCENT, NOT 1232 00:32:39,028 --> 00:32:44,019 REQUESTED. 1233 00:32:39,028 --> 00:32:44,019 >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS YOUR ROLE 1234 00:32:44,019 --> 00:32:47,024 >> MY ROLE WAS LIKE A COOKY 1235 00:32:44,019 --> 00:32:47,024 HAIRDRESSER THAT IS HIRED BY 1236 00:32:47,024 --> 00:32:51,003 THE BROTHER'S NEMESIS. 1237 00:32:47,024 --> 00:32:51,003 I END UP SHAVING HIS HEAD. 1238 00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:54,015 I JUST WENT INTO THE AUDITION 1239 00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:54,015 LIKE, "YOU NEED A HAIRCUT? 1240 00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:56,000 I'LL DO IT 1241 00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:56,000 I'LL DO IT 1242 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,012 GIVE ME YOUR HAIR. 1243 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,012 LIKE -- BUT THEN I BOOKED THE 1244 00:32:59,012 --> 00:33:02,014 PART 1245 00:32:59,012 --> 00:33:02,014 I COME IN FOR THE FIRST 1246 00:33:02,014 --> 00:33:06,022 REHEARSAL WITH THE DIRECTOR AND 1247 00:33:02,014 --> 00:33:06,022 EVERYBODY AND I'M DOING MY 1248 00:33:06,022 --> 00:33:09,017 SHTICK AND THE DIRECTOR'S JUST 1249 00:33:06,022 --> 00:33:09,017 LIKE, "GREAT, JUST LOSE THE 1250 00:33:09,017 --> 00:33:12,022 ACCENT 1251 00:33:09,017 --> 00:33:12,022 WE'LL GO FROM THERE. 1252 00:33:12,022 --> 00:33:15,004 >> Jimmy: IT'S PERFECT 1253 00:33:12,022 --> 00:33:15,004 SO PERFECT 1254 00:33:15,004 --> 00:33:17,019 DO EVERYTHING YOU'RE -- JUST DO 1255 00:33:15,004 --> 00:33:17,019 IS OPPOSITE. 1256 00:33:17,019 --> 00:33:19,012 >> BUT NOT THE MAIN -- 1257 00:33:17,019 --> 00:33:19,012 >> Jimmy: NOT THE MAIN THING 1258 00:33:19,012 --> 00:33:24,003 THAT GOT YOU IN HERE 1259 00:33:19,012 --> 00:33:24,003 WOW, I LOVE THAT STORY 1260 00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:26,012 LOOK, YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY 1261 00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:26,012 LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW 1262 00:33:26,012 --> 00:33:29,020 MOVIE, "PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN. 1263 00:33:26,012 --> 00:33:29,020 DUDE, YOU'RE PHENOMENAL IN 1264 00:33:29,020 --> 00:33:32,006 THIS 1265 00:33:29,020 --> 00:33:32,006 IT'S IN THEATERS ON DEMAND NOW, 1266 00:33:32,006 --> 00:33:36,023 GETTING RAVE REVIEWS 1267 00:33:32,006 --> 00:33:36,023 THERE ARE A LOT OF WAYS I COULD 1268 00:33:36,023 --> 00:33:39,019 DESCRIBE THE MOVIE, BUT I NEVER 1269 00:33:36,023 --> 00:33:39,019 LIKE TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY 1270 00:33:39,019 --> 00:33:43,010 HOW WOULD -- HOW HAVE YOU BEEN 1271 00:33:39,019 --> 00:33:43,010 DESCRIBING IT TO PEOPLE? 1272 00:33:43,010 --> 00:33:47,021 >> YOU KNOW, SIMILARLY, I LIKE 1273 00:33:43,010 --> 00:33:47,021 TO SAY AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE 1274 00:33:47,021 --> 00:33:51,003 BECAUSE THE MOVIE IS SO UNIQUE 1275 00:33:47,021 --> 00:33:51,003 AND HAS A LOT OF SURPRISES 1276 00:33:51,003 --> 00:33:55,020 AND IT REALLY IS -- I WOULD 1277 00:33:51,003 --> 00:33:55,020 DESCRIBE IT AS A DARKLY 1278 00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:58,029 HUMOROUS REVENGE STORY THAT 1279 00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:58,029 STARS CARRIE MULLIGAN. 1280 00:33:58,029 --> 00:34:02,004 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS 1281 00:33:58,029 --> 00:34:02,004 A REVENGE -- AND IT'S -- 1282 00:34:02,004 --> 00:34:07,018 IT'S -- BUT IT'S TWISTS AND 1283 00:34:02,004 --> 00:34:07,018 THINGS, AND YOU GO, "OOH." 1284 00:34:07,018 --> 00:34:11,013 SO YEAH, I WENT IN NOT KNOWING 1285 00:34:07,018 --> 00:34:11,013 ANYTHING AND I WAS BLOWN AWAY. 1286 00:34:11,013 --> 00:34:13,018 YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY TRICKY, 1287 00:34:11,013 --> 00:34:13,018 AND YOU DID IT PERFECTLY WAS 1288 00:34:13,018 --> 00:34:16,014 YOUR CHARACTER AT ONE POINT HAS 1289 00:34:13,018 --> 00:34:16,014 TO BE DRUNK. 1290 00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:19,006 AND I THOUGHT YOU PLAYED IT 1291 00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:19,006 PERFECTLY. 1292 00:34:19,006 --> 00:34:22,024 IS THERE A TRICK THAT YOU DO TO 1293 00:34:19,006 --> 00:34:22,024 PLAY DRUNK, OR ARE YOU DRUNK 1294 00:34:22,024 --> 00:34:25,025 NO 1295 00:34:22,024 --> 00:34:25,025 >> WELL, I DID A LOT OF 1296 00:34:25,025 --> 00:34:29,021 RESEARCH ON IT IN MY 20s 1297 00:34:25,025 --> 00:34:29,021 AND I LOGGED IT. 1298 00:34:29,021 --> 00:34:32,013 [ LAUGHTER ] 1299 00:34:29,021 --> 00:34:32,013 >> Jimmy: FOR YEARS. 1300 00:34:32,013 --> 00:34:37,001 >> LOGGED IT FOR LATER 1301 00:34:32,013 --> 00:34:37,001 NO, WE SHOT THAT SEEN AT LIKE 1302 00:34:37,001 --> 00:34:39,019 7:00 IN THE MORNING. 1303 00:34:37,001 --> 00:34:39,019 IT WAS THE VERY FIRST DAY OF 1304 00:34:39,019 --> 00:34:42,027 FILMING ANYTHING ON THE MOVIE. 1305 00:34:39,019 --> 00:34:42,027 SO I COULDN'T BE REALLY 1306 00:34:42,027 --> 00:34:45,006 ACTUALLY DRUNK 1307 00:34:42,027 --> 00:34:45,006 AND I HAVE TRIED THAT ONCE 1308 00:34:45,006 --> 00:34:46,019 BEFORE ON A MOVIE, AND IT'S 1309 00:34:45,006 --> 00:34:46,019 A TERRIBLE IDEA. 1310 00:34:46,019 --> 00:34:49,021 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, SCENES IN 1311 00:34:46,019 --> 00:34:49,021 MOVIES TAKE HOURS AND HOURS TO 1312 00:34:49,021 --> 00:34:53,019 SHOOT. 1313 00:34:49,021 --> 00:34:53,019 SO IF YOU'RE DRINKING REAL 1314 00:34:53,019 --> 00:34:56,001 ALCOHOL, FOUR HOURS LATER 1315 00:34:53,019 --> 00:34:56,001 YOU'RE LIKE, "I GOT TO NAP." 1316 00:34:56,001 --> 00:35:00,005 AND THEY'RE LIKE, "NO, NO. 1317 00:34:56,001 --> 00:35:00,005 >> Jimmy: "I GOT TO NAP" IS 1318 00:35:00,005 --> 00:35:02,016 GOOD 1319 00:35:00,005 --> 00:35:02,016 THAT'S A GOOD CHARACTER. >> "I 1320 00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:03,009 GOTTA NAP. 1321 00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:03,009 BUT I HAVE SOME RESEARCH 1322 00:35:03,009 --> 00:35:11,000 MATERIALS. 1323 00:35:03,009 --> 00:35:11,000 YOU KNOW, DAVE AND I HAVE BEEN 1324 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:16,026 TOGETHER FOR NINE YEARS, AND WE 1325 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:16,026 HAVE SOME OLD RECORDINGS FROM 1326 00:35:16,026 --> 00:35:18,000 EARLY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP IF I 1327 00:35:16,026 --> 00:35:18,000 WOULD DRINK TOO MUCH, DAVE 1328 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,007 WOULD DO THESE AUDIO RECORDINGS 1329 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,007 OF ME. 1330 00:35:23,007 --> 00:35:28,021 VERY SWEET, VERY SWEET 1331 00:35:23,007 --> 00:35:28,021 >> Jimmy: WHAT A SWEET MAN 1332 00:35:28,021 --> 00:35:30,000 >> MY FAVORITE ONE IS, LIKE, A 1333 00:35:28,021 --> 00:35:30,000 A TWO-MINUTE AUDIO RECORDING OF 1334 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:36,018 ME BASICALLY JUST CLAMBERING 1335 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:36,018 FOR FRIES. 1336 00:35:36,018 --> 00:35:39,007 IT'S LIKE I'M IN BED ABOUT TO 1337 00:35:36,018 --> 00:35:39,007 GO TO SLEEP AND THE WHOLE 1338 00:35:39,007 --> 00:35:44,011 RECORDING IS ME LIKE, "I WANT 1339 00:35:39,007 --> 00:35:44,011 FRIES! 1340 00:35:44,011 --> 00:35:47,012 AND DAVE'S JUST EGGING ME ON 1341 00:35:44,011 --> 00:35:47,012 "WHAT DO YOU WANT, HONEY?" 1342 00:35:47,012 --> 00:35:51,023 "FRIES 1343 00:35:47,012 --> 00:35:51,023 I NEED FRIES!" 1344 00:35:51,023 --> 00:35:54,006 AND THIS GOES ON FOR SO LONG 1345 00:35:51,023 --> 00:35:54,006 AND THEN AT THE END HE GOES, 1346 00:35:54,006 --> 00:35:58,003 "WHAT KIND OF FRIES DO YOU 1347 00:35:54,006 --> 00:35:58,003 WANT?" 1348 00:35:58,003 --> 00:36:01,012 AND I SAY, "THE FRIES THAT WANT 1349 00:35:58,003 --> 00:36:01,012 ME." 1350 00:36:01,012 --> 00:36:05,006 >> Jimmy: OH, WOW. 1351 00:36:01,012 --> 00:36:05,006 >> WHICH IS PRETTY PROFOUND. 1352 00:36:05,006 --> 00:36:06,009 IT'S A REAL PSYCHOLOGICAL 1353 00:36:05,006 --> 00:36:06,009 STUDY. 1354 00:36:06,009 --> 00:36:12,010 I WAS LIKE, "WOW." 1355 00:36:06,009 --> 00:36:12,010 THIS TOLD ME A LOT 1356 00:36:12,010 --> 00:36:15,012 >> Jimmy: THAT WAS DEEP. 1357 00:36:12,010 --> 00:36:15,012 I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL. 1358 00:36:15,012 --> 00:36:17,008 "THE FRIES THAT WANT ME. 1359 00:36:15,012 --> 00:36:17,008 I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. 1360 00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,009 HERE'S ALISON BRIE IN 1361 00:36:17,022 --> 00:36:19,009 "PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN." 1362 00:36:18,014 --> 00:36:19,009 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 1363 00:36:20,013 --> 00:36:21,020 >> YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY WANTED 1364 00:36:20,013 --> 00:36:21,020 TO MEET YOU TODAY TO TALK ABOUT 1365 00:36:21,020 --> 00:36:28,005 SOMETHING IN PARTICULAR. 1366 00:36:21,020 --> 00:36:28,005 >> I DID WONDER -- NO ONE'S 1367 00:36:28,005 --> 00:36:31,014 HEARD FROM YOU IN LIKE FOREVER 1368 00:36:28,005 --> 00:36:31,014 >> I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU 1369 00:36:31,014 --> 00:36:37,011 ABOUT WHY I DROPPED OUT. 1370 00:36:31,014 --> 00:36:37,011 >> OKAY, SURE. 1371 00:36:37,011 --> 00:36:38,010 >> YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED, 1372 00:36:37,011 --> 00:36:38,010 RIGHT? 1373 00:36:38,010 --> 00:36:48,025 >> SUCH A LONG TIME AGO NOW. 1374 00:36:43,025 --> 00:36:48,025 >> I KNOW, BUT YOU REMEMBER. 1375 00:36:44,028 --> 00:36:48,025 >> I MEAN, VAGUELY 1376 00:36:50,005 --> 00:36:53,016 "PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN" IS IN 1377 00:36:50,005 --> 00:36:53,016 THEATERS AND ON DEMAND NOW 1378 00:36:53,016 --> 00:36:56,018 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A 1379 00:36:53,016 --> 00:36:56,018 A PERFORMANCE FROM PA SALIEU 1380 00:36:56,018 --> 00:37:12,021 COME ON BACK 1381 00:36:56,018 --> 00:37:12,021 ♪ 1382 00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:14,004 >> Jimmy: MAKING HIS U.S. TV 1383 00:37:14,004 --> 00:37:21,003 DEBUT, PERFORMING "FRONTLINE" 1384 00:37:16,020 --> 00:37:21,003 FROM HIS MIXTAPE, "SEND THEM TO 1385 00:37:17,023 --> 00:37:21,003 COVENTRY," HERE IS PA SALIEU 1386 00:37:21,024 --> 00:37:32,028 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1387 00:37:21,024 --> 00:37:32,028 ♪ 1388 00:37:32,028 --> 00:37:35,004 ♪ THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT 1389 00:37:32,028 --> 00:37:35,004 THE BLOCK LIFE 1390 00:37:35,004 --> 00:37:37,022 STILL DOING MAZZ 1391 00:37:35,004 --> 00:37:37,022 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1392 00:37:37,022 --> 00:37:40,004 ♪ THEY AIN'T ON 1393 00:37:37,022 --> 00:37:40,004 WHAT I'M ON RIGH 1394 00:37:40,004 --> 00:37:42,026 STILL DOING MAZZ 1395 00:37:40,004 --> 00:37:42,026 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1396 00:37:42,026 --> 00:37:45,005 ♪ THEY AIN'T GROW AROUN 1397 00:37:42,026 --> 00:37:45,005 THE BLOCK SIDE 1398 00:37:45,005 --> 00:37:47,027 STILL DOING MAZZ 1399 00:37:45,005 --> 00:37:47,027 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1400 00:37:47,027 --> 00:37:50,007 ♪ STILL GULLY I 1401 00:37:47,027 --> 00:37:50,007 THE SIDE 1402 00:37:50,007 --> 00:37:52,020 STILL DOING MAZZ 1403 00:37:50,007 --> 00:37:52,020 IN YOUR FRONTLINE ♪ 1404 00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:54,018 ♪ BAD MAN RUN U 1405 00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:54,018 IN YOUR BAND 1406 00:37:54,018 --> 00:37:56,027 KNICK KNACK MASH 1407 00:37:54,018 --> 00:37:56,027 THAT WORK LIKE RAMBO ♪ 1408 00:37:56,027 --> 00:38:00,002 ♪ WHIP THAT 1409 00:37:56,027 --> 00:38:00,002 FEEL LIKE DJANGO ♪ 1410 00:38:00,002 --> 00:38:03,000 ♪ SHUT DOWN LOCK OF 1411 00:38:00,002 --> 00:38:03,000 NOW THE MAN KNOW 1412 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,018 REAL BAD MAN 1413 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,018 WHO YOU TALKING TO ♪ 1414 00:38:06,018 --> 00:38:08,004 ♪ HE GOT SOAKED B 1415 00:38:06,018 --> 00:38:08,004 THE DARK BLACK YUT 1416 00:38:08,004 --> 00:38:09,017 SEE ME I'M THA 1417 00:38:08,004 --> 00:38:09,017 BIG BAD WOLF ♪ 1418 00:38:09,017 --> 00:38:12,006 ♪ HOW MANY BANDOS 1419 00:38:09,017 --> 00:38:12,006 DID I RUN THROUG 1420 00:38:12,006 --> 00:38:14,014 GAMBIAN BROTHE 1421 00:38:12,006 --> 00:38:14,014 MR K KUNTE ♪ 1422 00:38:14,014 --> 00:38:16,029 ♪ FOLLOW MY RULES 1423 00:38:14,014 --> 00:38:16,029 TILL I RISE AND TAKE 1424 00:38:16,029 --> 00:38:22,008 GRAVEYARD SHIFTS O 1425 00:38:16,029 --> 00:38:22,008 THE DAY AND NIGHT ♪ 1426 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,023 ♪ JUST MY FOOD THAT 1427 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,023 THESE FIENDS WANT TAKE 1428 00:38:24,023 --> 00:38:28,004 FOR MY MONEY I MAD 1429 00:38:24,023 --> 00:38:28,004 THE GROUND ELEVATE ♪ 1430 00:38:28,004 --> 00:38:29,024 ♪ AND I PRAY FOR MY SIN 1431 00:38:28,004 --> 00:38:29,024 FOR MY DEVILISH WAYS 1432 00:38:29,024 --> 00:38:31,013 FOR MY MONEY I MAK 1433 00:38:29,024 --> 00:38:31,013 THE GROUND ELEVATE ♪ 1434 00:38:31,013 --> 00:38:32,029 ♪ WITH THE DEVILISH WAIST 1435 00:38:31,013 --> 00:38:32,029 THEY DON'T KNOW ABOU 1436 00:38:32,029 --> 00:38:34,028 THE BLOCK LIFE ♪ 1437 00:38:32,029 --> 00:38:34,028 ♪ STILL DOING MAZZA 1438 00:38:34,028 --> 00:38:37,023 IN THE FRONTLINE 1439 00:38:34,028 --> 00:38:37,023 THEY AIN'T O 1440 00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:39,029 WHAT I'M ON RIGHT ♪ 1441 00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:39,029 ♪ STILL DOING MAZZA 1442 00:38:39,029 --> 00:38:42,014 IN THE FRONT 1443 00:38:39,029 --> 00:38:42,014 THEY AIN'T GROW AROUND 1444 00:38:42,014 --> 00:38:45,003 THE BLOCK SIDE ♪ 1445 00:38:42,014 --> 00:38:45,003 ♪ STILL DOING MAZZA 1446 00:38:45,003 --> 00:38:47,008 IN THE FRONTLINE 1447 00:38:45,003 --> 00:38:47,008 STILL GULL 1448 00:38:47,008 --> 00:38:49,027 IN THE SIDE ♪ 1449 00:38:47,008 --> 00:38:49,027 ♪ STILL DOING 1450 00:38:49,027 --> 00:38:53,005 THEY WANNA SAVE MY LIF 1451 00:38:49,027 --> 00:38:53,005 WON'T STOP BELLING 1452 00:38:53,005 --> 00:38:55,020 ON MY LYCA ♪ 1453 00:38:53,005 --> 00:38:55,020 ♪ I SWEAR I FELL IN LOV 1454 00:38:55,020 --> 00:39:02,011 WITH THE NINA NINA NINA OH 1455 00:38:55,020 --> 00:39:02,011 THEY WANNA TAKE MY LIFE WON' 1456 00:39:02,011 --> 00:39:05,017 STOP BELLING ON MY LYCA ♪ 1457 00:39:02,011 --> 00:39:05,017 ♪ I SWEAR I FELL IN LOV 1458 00:39:05,017 --> 00:39:11,020 WITH THE NINA NINA NINA OH 1459 00:39:05,017 --> 00:39:11,020 CLOUT RAPPING LIKE 1460 00:39:11,020 --> 00:39:13,002 THEY GULLY ♪ 1461 00:39:11,020 --> 00:39:13,002 ♪ BUT THEY'VE NEVER 1462 00:39:13,002 --> 00:39:14,018 TOUCHED BOTT 1463 00:39:13,002 --> 00:39:14,018 PASSION FOR THE BEEF 1464 00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:16,001 I AIN'T SORRY ♪ 1465 00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:16,001 ♪ FELL IN LOVE WITH 1466 00:39:16,001 --> 00:39:18,010 SHELLY NICKNAME BETT 1467 00:39:16,001 --> 00:39:18,010 WHAT I SAY BETTER DO NOW 1468 00:39:18,010 --> 00:39:21,008 EVERYTHING MESSY ♪ 1469 00:39:18,010 --> 00:39:21,008 ♪ STARBOY ARE GRINDIN 1470 00:39:21,008 --> 00:39:24,023 TRYING HIT THE BELLY 1471 00:39:21,008 --> 00:39:24,023 SHH GOT FOR THE TALK ♪ 1472 00:39:24,023 --> 00:39:27,021 ♪ BRO GOT LINKS FOR THE DES 1473 00:39:24,023 --> 00:39:27,021 THAT MEANS I TOO 1474 00:39:27,021 --> 00:39:29,015 DOUBLE CROSS I 1475 00:39:27,021 --> 00:39:29,015 THEN IT'S ♪ 1476 00:39:29,015 --> 00:39:33,013 ♪ THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT 1477 00:39:29,015 --> 00:39:33,013 THE BLOCK LIFE 1478 00:39:33,013 --> 00:39:36,021 STILL DOING MAZZ 1479 00:39:33,013 --> 00:39:36,021 IN THE FRONTLINES ♪ 1480 00:39:36,021 --> 00:39:38,013 ♪ THEY AIN'T ON 1481 00:39:36,021 --> 00:39:38,013 WHAT I'M ON RIGH 1482 00:39:38,013 --> 00:39:41,012 STILL DOING MAZZ 1483 00:39:38,013 --> 00:39:41,012 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1484 00:39:41,012 --> 00:39:43,011 ♪ THEY AIN'T GROW AROUN 1485 00:39:41,012 --> 00:39:43,011 THE BLOCK SIDE 1486 00:39:43,011 --> 00:39:46,003 STILL DOING MAZZ 1487 00:39:43,011 --> 00:39:46,003 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1488 00:39:46,003 --> 00:39:48,015 ♪ STILL GULLY IN THE SIDE 1489 00:39:46,003 --> 00:39:48,015 STILL DOING MAZZ 1490 00:39:48,015 --> 00:39:51,017 IN YOUR FRONTLINE ♪ 1491 00:39:48,015 --> 00:39:51,017 ♪ THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT 1492 00:39:51,017 --> 00:39:54,005 THE BLOCK LIFE 1493 00:39:51,017 --> 00:39:54,005 STILL DOING MAZZ 1494 00:39:54,005 --> 00:39:56,011 IN THE FRONTLINES ♪ 1495 00:39:54,005 --> 00:39:56,011 ♪ THEY AIN'T ON 1496 00:39:56,011 --> 00:39:58,020 WHAT I'M ON RIGH 1497 00:39:56,011 --> 00:39:58,020 STILL DOING MAZZ 1498 00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:01,008 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1499 00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:01,008 ♪ THEY AIN'T GROW AROUN 1500 00:40:01,008 --> 00:40:03,015 THE BLOCK SIDE 1501 00:40:01,008 --> 00:40:03,015 STILL DOING MAZZ 1502 00:40:03,015 --> 00:40:07,022 IN THE FRONTLINE ♪ 1503 00:40:03,015 --> 00:40:07,022 ♪ STILL GULLY IN THE SIDE 1504 00:40:07,022 --> 00:40:10,024 STILL DOING MAZZ 1505 00:40:07,022 --> 00:40:10,024 IN YOUR FRONTLINE ♪ 1506 00:40:10,024 --> 00:40:12,013 ♪ THEY WANN 1507 00:40:10,024 --> 00:40:12,013 SAVE MY LIFE 1508 00:40:12,013 --> 00:40:14,002 WON'T STOP BELLING 1509 00:40:12,013 --> 00:40:14,002 ON MY LYCA ♪ 1510 00:40:14,002 --> 00:40:18,023 ♪ I SWEAR I FELL IN LOV 1511 00:40:14,002 --> 00:40:18,023 WITH THE NINA NINA NINA OH 1512 00:40:18,023 --> 00:40:23,001 THEY WANNA TAKE MY LIFE WON' 1513 00:40:18,023 --> 00:40:23,001 STOP BELLING ON MY LYCA ♪ 1514 00:40:23,001 --> 00:40:24,011 ♪ I SWEAR I 1515 00:40:23,001 --> 00:40:24,011 FELL IN LOVE 1516 00:40:24,011 --> 00:40:28,028 WITH THE NIN 1517 00:40:24,011 --> 00:40:28,028 NINA NINA OH ♪ 1518 00:40:28,028 --> 00:40:31,010 ♪ 1519 00:40:28,028 --> 00:40:31,010 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1520 00:40:31,010 --> 00:40:32,026 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU ALL FOR 1521 00:40:31,010 --> 00:40:32,026 WATCHING 1522 00:40:32,026 --> 00:40:34,028 STAY SAFE OUT THERE. 1523 00:40:32,026 --> 00:40:34,028 WASH YOUR HANDS. 1524 00:40:34,028 --> 00:40:36,012 DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE. 1525 00:40:34,028 --> 00:40:36,012 WEAR A MASK. 1526 00:40:36,012 --> 00:40:37,028 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 1527 00:40:36,012 --> 00:40:37,028 SETH MEYERS. 1528 00:40:37,028 --> 00:40:39,005 GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY. 1529 00:40:37,028 --> 00:40:39,005 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 1530 00:40:39,005 --> 00:40:51,001 ♪ 1531 00:40:39,005 --> 00:40:51,001 ♪