Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - CHRIS PRATT,
ELIZABETH VARGAS MUSICAL GUEST MAISIE PETERS, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1827 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH, COME ON NOW!
WELCOME! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ENJOY YOURSELF, ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU.
WELL GUYS, EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT THE LEGAL CASE OF THE CENTURY, AND WE FINALLY GOT OUR
ANSWER GWYNETH PALTROW WAS FOUND NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER SKI
ACCIDENT [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE THE OTHER BIG NEWS IS
THAT FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS INDICTED FOR THE HUSH MONEY PAYMENT HE MADE TO PORN STAR
STORMY DANIELS TRUMP-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
TRUMP WAS LIKE, "I DIDN'T DO IT I DIDN'T DO IT
AND IF I DID DO IT, I BARELY DID IT." [ LAUGHTER ]
"MY FIRST WITNESS IS STORMY. DID I DO IT? "WELL, TECHNICALLY, YOUR HONOR,
WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO IT, BUT-- EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
TRUMP'S INDICTMENT THE NEWS IS SO HUGE THAT EVEN CNN WAS LIKE, "WE'RE BACK,
BABY!" [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE SOME PEOPLE ARE
WORRIED THAT TRUMP'S ARREST WILL CREATE DIVISION IN THE COUNTRY.
RIGHT, 'CAUSE WE WERE JUST HAVING ONE BIG OLE' PIZZA PARTY BEFORE THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] I READ THAT TRUMP AND HIS TEAM WERE CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY THE
NEWS, AS THEY THOUGHT ANY POTENTIAL INDICTMENT WAS WEEKS AWAY
NOT GREAT WHEN EVERYONE'S LIKE, "WE KNEW YOU'D GO TO JAIL, WE JUST DIDN'T THINK IT'D BE SO
SOON." [ LAUGHTER ] "-- HAVE A CHANCE TO SAY
GOOD-BYE TO YOU. OF COURSE AFTER THE NEWS BROKE, TRUMP GOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND
STARTED RANTING. AND IN ONE POST, INSTEAD OF WRITING "INDICTED," HE
ACCIDENTALLY WROTE "INDICATED. [ LAUGHTER ] THEN WHEN ASKED HOW HE'LL
PLEAD, TRUMP WROTE, "NUT GRAVY. [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: THAT'S WHAT HE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR. ♪
Jimmy: NOT GUILTY Steve: YEAH STORMY
Jimmy: MEANWHILE-- [ LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, PEOPLE ARE WONDERING
HOW TRUMP'S GONNA GET OUT OF THIS AND TRUMP SAYS THAT YOU CAN
READ ALL ABOUT IT IN HIS NEW BOOK, "THE ART OF THE PLEA DEAL."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND GET THIS, I READ THAT MANHATTAN PROSECUTORS ARE ALSO
INVESTIGATING A SECOND HUSH MONEY PAYMENT THAT TRUMP MIGHT HAVE MADE FOR ANOTHER AFFAIR
RIGHT NOW, TRUMP'S PANICKING HE'S LIKE, "OMG, WHAT IF STORMY FINDS OUT I CHEATED ON HER?"
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT IF TRUMP IS CONVICTED, HE COULD BE IN PRISON FOR FOUR
YEARS, OR TWO YEARS WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR, SO FOUR YEARS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
BUT HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS FOR TRUMP, EVEN IF HE IS CONVICTED, HE CAN STILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT
AND HE CAN STILL HOLD RALLIES, BECAUSE A LOT OF HIS SUPPORTERS ARE ALSO IN PRISON
[ LAUGHTER ] "JANUARY 6th JANUARY 6th?
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "JANUARY 6th COME OVER TO MY TABLE.
YEAH, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE TRUMP COULD BE THE FIRST CANDIDATE WITH A CELLMATE FOR
A RUNNING MATE [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS, TESLA JUST
LAUNCHED ITS OWN BEER CALLED GIGABIER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
YEAH IT'S A TESLA BEER. IT'S THE ONLY BEER THAT
EXPLODES EVEN IF YOU DON'T SHAKE IT [ LAUGHTER ]
NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM DRINKING IT Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS, I SAW THAT McDONALD'S STOCK JUST CLOSED AT AN
ALL-TIME HIGH. YEAH, ALSO CLOSING AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH, THE 16-YEAR-OLD
McDONALD'S MANAGER, KYLE [ LAUGHTER ] "YEAH, WE'RE CLOSED, MAN
WE CAN'T SERVE BREAKFAST ANY - OH, SORRY. WE CAN'T SERVE BREAKFAST
ANY-- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEAH, McDONALD'S STOCK IS
THROUGH THE ROOF, WHICH MUST MEAN TRUMP HAS STARTED PACKING FOR PRISON
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, I HEARD THAT THE FDA WILL NOW REQUIRE MEDICAL DEVICES TO
BE SECURED AGAINST CYBERATTACKS DID YOU SEE THAT
IT'S A LITTLE FRIGHTENING WHEN YOU'RE GETTING AN ULTRASOUND AND YOU HEAR, "CONGRATULATIONS,
IT IS BOY. [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, TODAY IS THE VERY
LAST DAY OF MARCH, SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO GIVE A LITTLE RECAP OF THE ENTIRE MONTH.
HERE WE GO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
♪ FINALLY THE END OF MARC THE MADNESS HA BEEN OFF THE CHARTS ♪
♪ A CRAZY MONTH OF BASKETBAL THINKING--♪
DID WE JUST SEE WHAT WE THINK WE JUST SAW? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
♪ TIME FOR TAYLOR'S ERAS TOU CAN'T GET SEAT
DID YOU GET YOURS ♪ ♪ TICKETMASTE GETTING BASHED
GOING DOWN LIKE--♪ THE GWYNETH PALTROW SKI CRASH.
[ LAUGHTER ] ♪ TIKTOK'S WHER WE LOVE TO SCROL
THE GOVERNMENT MIGHT BAN IT THOUGH ♪ ♪ BUT IF BIDEN LETS THAT FL
HIS RE-ELECTION CAN ♪ SAY GOOD-BYE. [ LAUGHTER ]
♪ A.I. IS HER AND GAINING STEA I'M SCARED OF THAT CHATGPT ♪
♪ TWITTER'S BUSINES IN THE TAN STILL BETTER THAN--♪
SILICON VALLEY BANK [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ YEAH THE OSCARS
WERE THIS MONT EVERYTHING EVERYWHER ALL AT ONCE ♪
♪ NEXT YEAR IT COULD BE JOHN WIC THE ONLY STAR NOT ON -
OH-OH-OH OZEMPIC ♪ [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ♪ PASCAL IS IN EVERY SHOW
WE CAN'T GET ENOUGH PEDRO ♪ ♪ SUCCESSION'S BACK AT 9:00 IF YOU DON'T WATCH
THEN JUST--♪ [ BLEEP ] OFF [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: OH ♪ MASSIVE NEW WE GOT LAST NIGH
JURY CHOOSING TO INDICT ♪ ♪ TRUMP WILL AC LIKE HE'S SHAGGY
WHEN HE SAYS--♪ IT WASN'T ME. Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT'S JUST-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
SHA-GY Steve: SHA-GY SHA-GY
Jimmy: SHA-GY Steve: "IT WASN'T ME. Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ♪ IT WAS THE THIRD MONT OF THE YEA
SHAMROCK SHAKE AND COLD GREEN BEER ♪ ♪ CHILLY WEATHE
I'VE HAD PLENT SO LET'S HEAT THINGS U ON 420 ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW CHRIS PRATT IS HERE.
ELIZABETH VARGAS IS JOINING US AND WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM MAISIE PETERS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LET'S GO WRITE SOME THANK YOU NOTES. COME ON, NOW
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: HEY!
HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYBODY. TODAY IS FRIDAY, AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP ON SOME
PERSONAL STUFF I CHECK MY INBOX, I RETURN SOME EMAILS, OF COURSE, AND I WRITE
OUT SOME THANK YOU NOTES ON FRIDAYS. YEAH, I DO EVERY -
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WAS JUST-- I WAS JUST WONDERING-- I'M A BIT--
RUNNING A BIT BEHIND TODAY I THOUGHT IF YOU GUYS WOULDN'T MIND, I'D WRITE OUT MY WEEKLY
THANK YOU NOTES, RIGHT NOW, DURING THE SHOW. IS THAT OKAY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE ♪
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, HE'S IN A GOOD MOOD. Steve: CHEWING GUM?
Jimmy: YEAH, I DON'T KNOW [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ♪
THANK YOU, MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL'S NEW 15-SECOND PITCH CLOCK.
15 SECONDS MIGHT NOT SEEM THAT LONG, OR AS STORMY DANIELS PUT IT, "I BEG TO DIFFER."
Steve: HEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE INDICATED. LICK IT.
Jimmy: NO [ LAUGHTER ] ♪
THANK YOU, FLORIDA ATLANTIC'S MASCOT OWLSLEY, FOR LOOKING LIKE THE WORLD'S ANGRIEST
CINNABON [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: ARRGH.
HE'S MAD, BUT DELICIOUS. Steve: HE'S MAD BUT DELICIOUS.
GET A SIX PACK ♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU, PEOPLE WHO
KEEP THEIR ID AND CREDIT CARDS IN THEIR PHONE CASE, FOR SAYING TO THE WORLD, "EH, IF I LOSE
SOMETHING, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE EVERYTHING." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"TAKE IT ALL JUST TAKE IT ALL!" Steve: "TAKE IT ALL!"
"WELL, CAN YOU CALL YOUR WIFE? Jimmy: "NAH, CAN'T EVEN-- I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE LEGALLY
MARRIED ANYMORE. MY WEDDING CERTIFICATE'S IN IT TOO.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Steve: "THE DEED TO MY HOUSE.
♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU, GLASS, FOR BEING THE ONE THING THAT'S
WORTH MORE STAINED [ AUDIENCE OHS ] Steve: OH
[ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S A THINKER ♪
YEAH, THAT'S A THINKER Jimmy: THAT'S ONE OF THOSE--
YOU SNAP TO THAT ONE Steve: YEAH, THAT'S A A SNAPPER.
Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T CLAP YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THEN YOU GO -
[ SNAPS Steve: "YEAH, DADDY-O I-- I GROK.
Jimmy: LET ME DO IT AGAIN I'LL FINISH IT, TRY AGAIN. READY?
Steve: EVERYBODY SNAP ♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU, GLASS, FOR
BEING THE ONE THING THAT'S WORTH MORE STAINED [ AUDIENCE SNAPPING
Steve: "I CAN DIG IT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ♪
"YEAH, MAN HE'S A COOL CAT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
♪ "HE'S GOT HIS PEN. ♪
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU,
CINDERELLA, FOR BEING THE BEAUTIFUL STORY OF A WOMAN WHO CATFISHES A PRINCE
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: MY SHOE. ♪
Jimmy: THANK YOU, THIRD-TIME GUESSING A COMPUTER PASSWORD, FOR LETTING ME KNOW THE FEELING
OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DEFUSE A BOMB [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
"YES WE'RE IN CUT THE BLUE WIRE!
♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU, SINKS WITH HOT AND COLD FAUCETS, FOR
MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A WATER DJ [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY,
THOSE ARE MY THANK YOU NOTES WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CHRIS PRATT, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ >>> IN ORDER TO LET KIDS KNOW
THAT THE CHARACTER'S NOT DEAD - Jimmy: YES.
YOU HAVE TO DO A-- AN "I'M OKAY, I'M ALIVE" SIGH. "I'M HURT, NOT INJURED" SIGH
Jimmy: YOU KNOW OUR FIRST GUEST AS STAR-LORD IN THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE--
- [ CHEERS ] - - YEAH, I KNOW, WOO [ CHEERS ]
I FEEL THE SAME WAY. HE VOICES MARIO IN "THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE," WHICH IS
IN THEATERS AND iMAX THIS WEDNESDAY. PLEASE WELCOME CHRIS PRATT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOO-HOO Jimmy: LOOKING GOOD
[ CHEERS ] SOUND CHECK Jimmy: YES!
WELCOME BACK THANK YOU Jimmy: I-- OH, I LOVE THAT
LITTLE LAPEL PIN THANK YOU, IT'S A MUSHROOM. Jimmy: I LOVE IT.
I GET IT YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: I-- I GET IT. BECAUSE I - Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, I
UNDERSTAND WELL, NO, NO, BECAUSE - Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
DON'T UNDERSTAND-- DON'T EXPLAIN. BECAUSE IN THE--
Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO NO, NO, BECAUSE IT'S-- Jimmy: YOU LIKE MUSHROOMS
[ LAUGHTER ] YEAH. Jimmy: THAT'S HOW-- YEAH
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, WE HAD THE BEST TIME. I APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO THE
SHOW AND YOU WERE VERY NERVOUS AND EXCITED BECAUSE YOUR WIFE, KATHERINE, WAS VERY PREGNANT
AND WAS ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY THAT'S RIGHT. Jimmy: AND YOU HAD YOUR
PHONE OUT. JUST IN CASE! Jimmy: YOU GO, "JUST IN CASE
ANYTHING GOES DOWN DURING THIS INTERVIEW" - AND--
WE HAD A DEAL Jimmy: YES. THAT IF SHE WAS BORN WHILE I
WAS ON THE SHOW THAT I WOULD NAME HER JIMMY Jimmy: QUESTLOVE?
[ DRUMROLL ] SHE'S NAMED ELOISE BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT BORN -
Jimmy: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY [ SAD TUBA ]
BEAUTIFUL NAME, THOUGH BEAUTIFUL, NAME. NO, NO.
Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO BOO, ELOISE Jimmy: NO, NO, NO
NO, WE'RE NOT-- ONE DAY YOU'LL SEE THIS AND YOU'LL KNOW--
Jimmy: NO, WE'RE NOT BOOING, WE LOVE YOU ELOISE NO, WE -
- THAT I WISH YOUR NAME WAS JIMMY. Jimmy: NO, WE LOVE YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ] ELOISE! Jimmy: NO, I LOVE IT.
ELOISE, WAIT, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL, YEAH. Jimmy: YOU, UH, ARE NOW THE
FATHER OF THREE. DOES THAT EVER SINK IN, BUD? WOW
Jimmy: THIS IS-- YOU'RE A DAD. WOO
Jimmy: YEAH, I MEAN IT'S-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, THANK YOU
Jimmy: YOU'RE A FUN DAD I LOVE IT, MAN, YEAH-- I HAVE -
Jimmy: IS IT 10 I GOT A 10 YEAR OLD, TWO AND A HALF AND 10 MONTHS
Jimmy: OOF. YEAH, TWO LITTLE-- THE 10 YEAR OLD IS MY SON, JACK,
AND THEN LYLA AND ELOISE, THE TWO GIRLS. Jimmy: OH YEAH, LYLA.
HOW'S LYLA DOING OH, MY GOSH, SHE'S-- SHE'S THE BEST
SHE'S SO GIRLIE. SHE'S SO CUTE. SHE LOVES DRESSES AND BOWS AND
ALL OF THE PRINCESSY STUFF PINK IS HER FAVORITE COLOR AND SHE LOVES TO CHAT, SHE'S A
A REAL CHATTERBOX. SHE'LL TALK-- SHE WAS TALKING TO MY SISTER ON FACETIME AND
THEN MY SISTER LATER SAID, SHE GOES, "LYLA IS LIKE A-- THE PERSONIFICATION OF A MADLIB.
[ LAUGHTER ] BECAUSE SHE KNOWS ALL THESE WORDS, BUT SHE DOESN'T QUITE
KNOW HOW TO REALLY USE THEM SO SHE'LL-- THE OTHER DAY SHE SAID, "DADDY, DADDY, I'M GOING
TO PALM BEACH IN TWO MINUTES." [ LAUGHTER ] I SAID, "YOU ARE?"
AND SHE SAID, "YES, I'M GOING WITH SANTA CLAUS WE ARE GOING TO BRING ALL OF
THE SAND." Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH [ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS LIKE, "THAT'S EXACTLY A MESS." Jimmy: GIVE ME A NOUN, GIVE
ME A NOUN-- GIVE ME A VERB, GIVE ME AN ADJECTIVE.
Jimmy: YEAH AND HOW'S GRANDPA? GRANDPA
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER-- IS YOUR GRANDPA YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH, HE GOES BY OPA Jimmy: OH BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HE'S
AUSTRIAN GERMAN OPA IS GRANDFATHER IN GERMAN, SO HE GOES BY OPA.
Jimmy: DID HE-- DID YOU HAVE A CIGAR OH.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: DID YOU HAVE A CIGAR WITH YOU
YES, YEAH Jimmy: YES, YOU HAD THE CIGAR?
YEAH. Jimmy: HE LOVES HIS CIGARS. HE LOVES A CIGAR.
Jimmy: HE CAME ON THE SHOW, HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SMOKE A CIGAR.
YEAH, HE KIND OF TAUGHT ME TOO. HE-- I MEAN THERE'S NOTHING
MANLIER THAN ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER SMOKING A CIGAR--
Jimmy: YES.-- AND WHEN HE-- WHEN YOU'RE GIVE-- YOU KNOW, WHEN
YOU'RE A PART OF, YOU KNOW, BRINGING HIS GRANDDAUGHTER INTO THE WORLD, HE COMES AND HE
BRINGS YOU A CIGAR AND HE'S LIKE, "LET'S GO OUT AND SMOKE THESE.
AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY! BUT I HAVE ASTHMA SO I DON'T LIKE CIGARS.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE, "YOU GOT IT, ARNOLD."
AND KATHERINE WAS LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WAS LIKE, "I'M FINE.
I'M GOING TO BE OKAY." [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO I GO AND I SMOKE THIS
CIGAR AND I'M LIKE, "THIS IS GOOD OH, YEAH, COHIBA
NICE." Jimmy: YEAH AND THEN WOKE UP THE NEXT
DAY, MASSIVE LUNG INFECTION, BUT-- [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: YOU-- WORTH IT. Jimmy: YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO--
IF ARNOLD SAYS, "LET'S SMOKE A A CIGAR. YOU GO, "OKAY."
Jimmy: LET'S DO IT, YEAH. YEAH. Jimmy: YOU GO, YEAH -
THERE'S PEER PRESSURE AND THEN THERE'S - Jimmy: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
PEER - ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER PRESSURE
Jimmy: OH, YOU DO WHATEVER-- HE CAME ON - DO WHAT HE SAYS
Jimmy: I SAID, "I WANT TO UNDERSTAND IT AND HOW TO DO IT AND EVERYTHING" BECAUSE I
SMOKED A COUPLE CIGARS, I DON'T KNOW WHEN AND I'M LIKE, YOU BITE THE END OFF AND THEN YOU
LIKE LICK THE SIDE - HE GOES, "YOU DON'T BITE IT AND LICK IT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU DON'T LICK THE CIGAR YOU DON'T LICK IT AND BITE IT.
I GO, "I THINK I DID." AND HE'S LIKE, "NO!" HE GOES, "NEXT TIME I'M IN
TOWN, I'LL TEACH YOU-- I'LL TAKE YOU TO A CIGAR BAR AND I'LL TEACH YOU HOW
AND I GO-- HE'S A MAN OF HIS WORD CALLED ME ON THE PHONE
NO. Jimmy: SAID THAT, "JIMMYS-- I'M GOING TO A CIGAR BAR."
[ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS WITH-- I WAS WITH DREW BARRYMORE AND MY WIFE AND
I GO, "DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GO TO A CIGAR BAR WITH ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER?
AND THEY WERE LIKE, "LET'S DO IT." UH, YES
Jimmy: WE SHOWED UP AND WE ALL SMOKED CIGARS. IT WAS THE BEST.
COME ON, THAT'S GREAT Jimmy: WE LOVE THAT DUDE. CONGRATS OPA
OPA Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS, OPA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CONGRATS TO YOU AND KATHERINE. THANKS, MAN, THANK YOU. YEAH, WE'RE BLESSED.
WE FEEL VERY BLESSED Jimmy: GOOD, NICE PARENTS I WANT TO TALK "SUPER MARIO
BROTHERS" BECAUSE THAT IS-- THAT'S THE JAM I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS
YES Jimmy: WEDNESDAY. LET'S GO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I'M EXCITED-- YOU TOO-- YOU'RE MARIO.
I'M MARIO I'M THE VOICE OF MARIO Jimmy: SO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU GET THE PHONE CALL AND THEY'RE LIKE, "HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE THIS ICONIC"--
I'M LIKE, "PFF, NO. Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY, YEAH. I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD,
REALLY?" YEAH, I MEAN, YOU-- YOU GET THAT CALL AND IT'S JUST REALLY
EXCITING BECAUSE I MEAN IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, ALL THE IP THAT'S OUT THERE, ANYTHING THAT
HAS REACH, IT'S ALREADY BEEN REMADE IT'S ALREADY BEEN TURNED INO
A TV SHOW OR A MOVIE AND FOR SOME REASON "THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS" HASN'T BEEN A MOVIE
FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS. AND IT'S BECAUSE I THINK THE FOLKS AT NINTENDO JUST DIDN'T
WANT TO GIVE ANYBODY THE PERMISSION TO MAKE THE MOVIE AND SO FINALLY THEY MADE -
Jimmy: OH, ILLUMINATION - ILLUMINATION WHO, YOU KNOW-- "DESPICABLE ME,"
"SECRET LIFE OF PETS." Jimmy: "MINIONS." "MINIONS" -
Jimmy: BRILLIANT. INCREDIBLE STUDIO AND SO THEY PARTNERED UP AND
THEY DECIDED THAT THEY WERE GOING TO MAKE THIS MOVIE AND SO WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMES
AROUND IT'S JUST LIKE YOU'RE SO BLESSED, SO HONORED TO DO IT FOR ME -
Jimmy: IT'S FANTASTIC YEAH. Jimmy: IT'S GOING TO CRUSH,
BUDDY. AND I-- YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I
WAS WATCHING IT AND THERE'S A LOT OF ACTION. THERE'S A LOT OF ACTION IN THIS
MOVIE. YEAH. Jimmy: AND I COULD JUST KIND
OF HEAR YOU-- A LOT OF GRUNTING BY YOU - YES
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: GOING LIKE, "UH, OH, UH, OH."
AND I GO-- I WAS LIKE, "OH, MAYBE CHRIS WILL BRING LIKE FOOTAGE OF YOU DOING THOSE
GRUNTS." WHEN YOU COME ON THE SHOW, I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU IN THE
SOUND BOOTH LIKE, "UH, OH, UH. UH, OH. WELL, YOU KNOW, THIS-- HERE'S
AN INTERESTING THING ABOUT THAT ACTUALLY - - USUALLY THE EFFORT SOUNDS, YOU DO AT THE END OF A
A SESSION. YOU PROBABLY DO LIKE TWO-- ONE OR TWO SESSIONS A MONTH OVER
THE COURSE OF A COUPLE YEARS TO VOICE ONE OF THESE MOVIES. AND AT THE END BECAUSE THE
EFFORTS AND THE GRUNTS AND THE SCREAMING THAT REALLY TAKES IT OUT OF YOUR VOICE, THEY SAVE
THAT FOR THE END BUT HERE'S AN INTERESTING LITTLE TIDBIT-- IN A-- IN
A-- WHAT MAKES PHYSICAL COMEDY WORK IN LIKE A "TOM AND JERRY" OR A "SUPER MARIO BROTHERS" IS
WHEN A CHARACTER FALLS A LONG WAY AND HITS, THEY DON'T DIE RIGHT?
IF THEY DIED-- IT WOULD-- IF "TOM AND JERRY"-- Jimmy: NO, IT -
LIKE ROADRUNNER, IF LIKE THE-- Jimmy: YEAH RO--
FELL AN ANVIL HIT HIS HEAD AND THERE'S FREAKING BRAINS EVERYWHERE
Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO THAT'D BE TERRIBLE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
WHAT IS-- Jimmy: TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE THAT WOULD BE BAD, RIGHT?
Jimmy: TERRIBLE IDEA, TERRIBLE SO, IN ORDER TO LET KIDS
KNOW THAT THE CHARACTERS NOT DEAD - Jimmy: YES.
- YOU HAVE TO DO A-- AN "I'M OKAY, I'M ALIVE" SIGH "I'M HURT, NOT INJURED" SIGH
SO IT'S LIKE THIS. YOU'RE LIKE, "AHH. UH."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH WITHOUT THAT--
Jimmy: IT JUST-- IT JUST GOES - IT'S OUT--
Jimmy: "HEY, IT'S A JOKE, EVERYBODY! KIDS WILL BE LIKE, "MARIO'S
DEAD MARIO FELL TO HIS DEATH, DAD." Jimmy: OH, IT'S SO FUNNY.
IT'S SO WELL DONE. OH, I'M ALL RIGHT Jimmy: IT'S SUCH A GREAT
CAST EVERYONE'S SO TALENTED - YEAH.
Jimmy:-- AND GOOD. A LOT OF FUN PEOPLE. HOW DO WE SET UP THE MOVIE WITH
"SUPER MARIO BROTHERS" UM, THERE'S A-- THERE'S A CLIP
Jimmy: YEAH, WE HAVE A CLIP AND IT'S FROM - YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW IT, IT'S
FINE Jimmy: NO WE-- WE'RE DEFINITELY SHOWING THE CLIP.
IT'S FINE Jimmy: BUT IF YOU WANT TO SET UP-- THEY'RE IN BROOKLYN.
YEAH. THEY'RE IN-- OH, THIS IS THE-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE
CLIP IS. WHAT'S THE CLIP? Jimmy: OH, I DON'T KNOW
IT'S FROM THIS MOVIE CALLED "THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS. Jimmy: NO -
AND I'M IN IT [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, BUT THE
MOVIE-- WHAT IS THE MOVIE ABOUT? NOT THE CLIP
THE MOVIE IS ABOUT - IT'S ABOUT "THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS."
[ LAUGHTER ] AM I NOT DOING-- I'M GOING TO GET FIRED.
Jimmy: NO, THIS IS-- NO. OKAY-- Jimmy: THEY'RE PLUMBERS
THEY'RE-- THEY'RE PLUMBERS Jimmy: RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ]
THERE ARE TURTLES YOU KNOW, THEY RUN AROUND-- IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT THEY SMASH
THEIR HEAD AGAINST THINGS-- Jimmy: YEAH, YES, YES, YES.-- TO GET COINS
Jimmy: AND THEY GO THROUGH A PIPE AND THEY END UP IN A WEIRD WORLD.
THERE'S A PIPE IN THERE SETH ROGEN PLAYS - Jimmy: THERE'S A PRINCESS
DONKEY KONG Jimmy: DONKEY KONG. YEAH, I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE
A CLIP YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT Jimmy: CHRIS PRATT,
KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY - APRIL 5th Jimmy:-- IN "THE SUPER
MARIO BROTHERS" MOVIE. TAKE A LOOK. LET'S GO.
♪ DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM. YOU'LL DIE
OH, I'M SORRY, THAT ONE'S PERFECTLY FINE THAT'S A LITTLE MUSHROOM
MAN. A LITTLE MUSHROOM MAN TALKING TO ME.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU I'M TOAD UH, MARIO, SO THIS IS--
THIS IS NOT A DREAM? AH THAT HURT, RIGHT?
YES DEFINITELY NOT A DREAM. Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S NOT A
A DREAM. NOT A DREAM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CHRIS PRATT, EVERYBODY CHRIS AND I ARE DOING SOMETHING FUN AFTER THE BREAK.
STICK AROUND COME RIGHT BACK. DON'T LEAVE.
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Steve: ABOVE YOU ARE TWO
WARP PIPES BOTH OF WHICH ARE CLOGGED WITH A MYSTERY SUBSTANCE.
AND WHATEVER IS CLOGGING THE PIPE WILL BE DUMPED UPON YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
I'M STEVE HIGGINS AND WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "POP QUIZ.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ ♪ POP QUI
POP POP QUIZ POP QUIZ ♪ Steve: OUR FIRST CONTESTANT
IS THE HOST OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW." IT'S JIMMY FALLON.
Jimmy: HEY, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Steve: AND HIS OPPONENT
VOICES MARIO IN "THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE." SAY HELLO TO MR. CHRIS PRATT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, THE RULES ARE SIMPLE
ABOVE YOU ARE TWO WARP PIPES BOTH OF WHICH ARE CLOGGED WITH A MYSTERY SUBSTANCE.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND BECAUSE MARIO IS A PLUMBER, EACH OF YOU HAVE BEEN FITTED
WITH CUSTOM MADE PLUNGER HATS. NOW, I WILL ASK YOU A SERIES OF QUESTIONS RELATED TO VIDEO
GAMES, AND IF YOU GET AN ANSWER WRONG, OR IF YOUR OPPONENT GETS AN ANSWER RIGHT, YOUR CHAIR
WILL BE RISEN CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE PIPE. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
THE FIRST PERSON TO REACH THE TOP OF THE PIPE AND PLUNGES THEIR PIPE LOSES
AND WHATEVER IS CLOGGING THE PIPE WILL BE DUMPED UPON YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ALL RIGHT. ANY QUESTIONS? Jimmy: UH -
Steve: OKAY, GREAT. CHRIS, YOU'LL BE FIRST IN 2015, THE FIRST SIX VIDEO
GAMES WERE INDUCTED INTO THE WORLD VIDEO GAME HALL OF FAME. Jimmy: GOOD LUCK.
Steve: NAME ONE OF THESE GAMES. "SUPER MARIO BROTHERS."
Steve: BOOM LET'S SEE THE ANSWER [ DING ]
YES! "SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ Jimmy: WOW. Steve: WOW.
THAT WAS A HARD QUESTION JAMES-- ♪
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] Jimmy: HOW IS THAT A HARD QUESTION
IT'S BASICALLY, EVERY VIDEO GAME RIGHT THERE Steve: RIGHT, IT WAS HARD
THAT'S A DIFFICULT QUESTION. NOW, HERE'S YOUR QUESTION. Jimmy: YEAH
GOOD LUCK. Steve: GOOD LUCK, JAMES WHO IS THE CREATOR OF MARIO AND
DONKEY KONG? WHO'S THE CREATOR? Jimmy: I MEAN, I'M
A NINTENDO NERD. I'M GOING TO SAY MIYAMOTO? Steve: JUDGES
[ DING ] YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SHIGERU MIYAMOTO CHRIS, READY ♪
OH HE'S MORE MAN THAN YOU OKAY
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT WOW?
Steve: HURT MY LEG. Jimmy: OH, MY GOD Steve: WHAT'S THE NAME OF
THE EDUCATIONAL GAME WHICH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TRAVEL ACROSS 1800s AMERICA.
IT'S A HARD ONE. TRAVEL ACROSS 1800s AMERICA Steve: YEAH
OKAY, NOW-- I'M GOING TO PHONE A FRIEND ON THIS MYSELF
[ LAUGHTER ] HELLO? YEAH
IS-- I THINK IT'S "OREGON TRAIL. Steve: LET'S SEE.
LET'S SEE THE ANSWER [ DING ] "OREGON TRAIL," YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I PLAYED THAT AT SCHOOL I PLAYED THAT AT SCHOOL.
Steve: YOU DIED OF DYSENTERY. YOU DIED OF A SNAKEBITE
[ LAUGHTER ] Steve: READY, JIMMY YOU'RE GOING UP?
♪ OH MY GOSH OKAY, JIMMY, NEXT QUESTION'S
FOR YOU. WHAT COMPANY'S SPORTS DIVISION HAD THE SLOGAN, IF IT'S IN THE
GAME, IT'S IN THE GAME YOU KNOW THIS. Jimmy: FIRST OF ALL, I WANT
TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT TO MY BUDDY, WEASEL, BACK AT HOME IN BOSTON YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, WEAS.
TALKING ABOUT EA SPORTS. COME ON. Steve: ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE THE ANSWER Jimmy: ELECTRONIC ARTS. [ DING ]
Steve: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OKAY, CHRIS.
♪ AH! Steve: SO CLOSE AND YET SO,
SO FAR ALL RIGHT. CHRIS, THE NEXT QUESTION IS TO
YOU. OKAY. Steve: IN THE ORIGINAL
PAC-MAN, THE FOUR GHOSTS WERE NAMED BLINKY, INKY, PINKY, AND WHAT
NOT "WHAT" LIKE HIS NAME, BUT "WHAT IS HIS NAME? BLINKY, INKY, PINKY, AND -
IT'S GOTTA RHYME-- I DON'T KNOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE
A GUESS. JUANITA? [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: JUANITA. [ SAD TUBA ] JIMMY, DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?
Jimmy: I DO, BUT IT DOESN'T RHYME. IT'S LIKE GARY OR SOMETHING, OR
PAUL OR SOMETHING. Steve: LET'S SEE. JUDGES, LET'S SEE THE ANSWER
[ DING ] IT'S CLYDE [ APPLAUSE ]
OH, CHRIS, ONE MORE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, SO CLOSE
♪ Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. Steve: JIMMY--
Jimmy: YES! Steve: NEXT QUESTION IS FOR YOU.
Jimmy: YES, YES, YES, YES CLYDE! Steve: WHAT ARCADE GAME -
[ LAUGHTER ] WHAT ARCADE GAME FEATURED AN ORANGE CREATURE, NOT TRUMP -
Jimmy: Q-BERT Steve: WHO CHANGES COLOR. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO JUMP RIGHT
ON IT. Q-BERT LET'S SEE THE ANSWER
[ DING ] YES! Q-BERT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ Steve: OH, MY GOSH.
CHRIS-- Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME Steve: NEXT QUESTION IS FOR
YOU. Jimmy: DOES HIS HEAD GOT TO GO IN THE PIPE
Steve: WELL, IT'S GOT TO GO IN THE PIPE. AND THAT'S NOT-- TRUST ME, YOU
DON'T WANT TO GET THAT DUMPED ON YOUR HEAD OH
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: HIS LAUGHTER HIS LAUGHTER HIS LAUGHTER IS WHAT GOT HIM
HE'S A GOOD SPORT! Steve: LET'S DO A SLOW-MO OF THAT
OH Jimmy: CHRIS PRATT, EVERYBODY!
THE CHAMPION GO SEE "SUPER MARIO BROTHERS" IN THEATERS THIS WEDNESDAY AND
iMAX MY THANK YOU TO CHRIS PRATT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
"TONIGHT SHOW" EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN
EMMY AND PEABODY AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST AND "NEW YORK TIMES" BESTSELLING AUTHOR
HER NEW SHOW, "ELIZABETH VARGAS REPORTS" PREMIERES THIS MONDAY
AT 6:00 P.M. ON NEWSNATION PLEASE WELCOME, ELIZABETH VARGAS
♪ ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: YEAH THEY LOVE YOU, WE LOVE YOU WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING ON WELL, THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING ME PUT A TOILET PLUNGER
ON MY HEAD Jimmy: WELL, THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.
I WATCHED THE SEGMENT - Jimmy: THE NIGHT IS YOUNG-- I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD,
WHAT DOES HE DO ON THIS SHOW?" Jimmy: HE'S A PLUMBER IN THE--
I'VE - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I'VE A THOUSAND, UH, QUESTIONS,
I WANTED TO ASK YOU A ZILLION THINGS BUT OF COURSE, EVERYONE'S
TALKING ABOUT THIS, THE BIGGEST NEWS STORY RIGHT NOW-- TRUMP GOT INDICTED
YES Jimmy: AND IS-- WHAT DO WE KNOW SO FAR, AND WHAT DO WE
THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN? WELL, WE DON'T KNOW A LOT BECAUSE THE INDICTMENT IS STILL
SEALED Jimmy: RIGHT. BUT WE'VE HEARD THAT THERE
ARE REPORTS THAT ARE AS MANY AS 30 CHARGES IN THE INDICTMENT IT WILL BE UNSEALED ON TUESDAY
AFTERNOON AROUND 2:00, 2:15, WHEN FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL BE ARRAIGNED, WHICH IS
A HISTORIC FIRST IT HAS NEVER BEFORE HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA, AND HE WILL BE TAKEN DOWNTOWN TO BE PROCESSED.
HE WILL BE FINGERPRINTED THEY WILL TAKE A MUG SHOT. [ CHEERS ]
IT IS-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: IS THIS A BIZARRE
TIME TO BE-- YOU'RE PREMIERING YOUR SHOW ON MONDAY. WE ARE, AND IT'S AN
INCREDIBLE NEWS CYCLE TO BE WORKING IN AND, YOU KNOW, THIS SHOW AND
THIS-- IT'S A BRAND NEW CABLE NEWS CHANNEL LIKE WE NEED ANOTHER ONE, I
KNOW EVERYBODY'S LIKE, "WE GOT ANOTHER ONE, SERIOUSLY?"
Jimmy: THIS-- YEAH - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT IT'S A GOOD ONE
Jimmy: YEAH AND-- AND-- I PROMISE Jimmy: YEAH
BECAUSE I THINK RIGHT NOW ON CABLE NEWS, YOU SEE A LOT OF, YOU KNOW, SHOUTING, TALKING
HEADS ON THE FAR RIGHT AND THE FAR LEFT AND I THINK THE 80% OF AMERICA
IS IN THE MIDDLE SOMEHOW AND THEY'RE THE FORGOTTEN MAJORITY Jimmy: YEAH
AND WE GET TO SEE-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE GET TO SEE ELIZABETH VARGAS
EXACTLY Jimmy: YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITES--
THANK YOU Jimmy: YOU'RE AN INCREDIBLE JOURNALIST, AWARD WINNING.
DID YOU ALWAYS WANT TO BE ON TV JUST HEARING YOUR VOICE, BY THE
WAY, I GO-- I GET CHILLS. YOU'RE SO GOOD YOU'RE SO FUNNY
YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT Jimmy: I'M NOT! I SWEAR!
I'M A DRY-- BY THE WAY, BACKSTAGE TALKING--
YEAH. Jimmy:-- IS DIFFERENT THAN THIS VOICE
OH, PLEASE. ANYWAY NO, I DID NOT ALWAYS WANT TO
BE - [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU
TALKED BACKSTAGE YOU WERE LIKE, "HI, JIMMY! [ LAUGHTER ]
I DID NOT - Jimmy: "HI! I DID NOT SOUND LIKE--
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, NO, BUT YOU'RE VERY PROFESSIONAL ABOUT IT
NO, YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT. THIS CLIP IS GOING AROUND THE INTERNET NOW
THIS IS FROM BACK IN "THE TODAY SHOW" IN 1994-- OH, YEAH.
Jimmy: IF YOU-- EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THIS NEW THING CALLED THE INTERNET.
YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: TAKE-- TAKE A LOOK
AT YOU AND BRYANT GUMBEL AND KATIE COURIC TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE INTERNET IS
THAT LITTLE MARK WITH THE A A AND THEN THE RING AROUND IT. "AT."
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I SAID MM-HM KATIE SAID SHE THOUGHT IT
WAS "ABOUT." WHAT IS INTERNET ANYWAY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
INTERNET IS THAT MASSIVE COMPUTER NETWORK - RIGHT
THE ONE THAT'S BECOMING REALLY BIG NOW A LOT OF PEOPLE USE IT AND
COMMUNICATE-- I GUESS THEY CAN COMMUNICATE WITH NBC WRITERS AND PRODUCERS.
ALLISON, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT INTERNET IS? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: "CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT INTERNET IS? ISN'T THAT WILD-- ISN'T IT
WILD TO WATCH IT NOW THAT CLIP GETS RESURRECTED ABOUT EVERY FOUR MONTHS ON
TWITTER AND SOCIAL MEDIA, AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?"
AND IT WAS LIKE, "YES, ABOUT 49,000 TIMES." Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT HERE'S THE FUNNY STORY. FIRST OF ALL, MY KIDS, I'VE GOT
TWO TEENAGE SONS Jimmy: YEAH THEY TOOK A LOOK AT IT AND
THEY WERE LIKE, "MOM, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S EXPLAINING WHAT THE INTERNET IS?
YOU ARE SUCH A TECH DUMMY. Jimmy: "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE INTERNET!"
YEAH. Jimmy: THAT'S SO WILD BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
BMW USED THAT CLIP FOR A HUGE SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL. Jimmy: OH
AND THEY CUT ME OUT [ AUDIENCE AWS ] IT WAS ONLY BRYANT AND KATIE,
AND THEY GOT FREE BMWs Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
I GOT COMPLETELY SHAFTED ON THAT Jimmy: WE CAN MAKE THIS--
NO, WE CAN MAKE THIS ALL GOOD. YES Jimmy: BMW, IF YOU'RE
WATCHING - FIRST OF ALL, I'M THE ONE THAT BROUGHT IT UP.
YES Jimmy: SO I THINK - [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
AND YOU ALL WERE HERE WITNESS-- AND YOU ALL DESERVE--
[ CHEERS ] EVERYONE HERE DESERVES A BMW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
COME ON, MAKE IT RIGHT MAKE IT RIGHT, BMW YOU'RE THE NEW OPRAH.
Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH, YEAH BMWs FOR EVERYONE
Jimmy: YEAH, NO ONE'S GETTING A CAR AT ALL [ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE WERE TALKING BACKSTAGE AND I GO, "YOU KNOW, YOU'VE INTERVIEWED EVERY SINGLE
PERSON I WANTED-- THERE'S SUCH A GIANT LIST, BUT I JUST PICKED TWO THAT STUCK IN
MY HEAD, AND I GO, "I'D LOVE TO HEAR THE STORY." TELL ME ABOUT WHEN YOU
INTERVIEWED MICK JAGGER-- OH, MY GOSH Jimmy:-- WHO'S ONE OF MY
ALL-TIME FAVS. OH, YOU GOT THE PICTURE Jimmy: YEAH, LOOK AT-- COME
ON YEAH, LOOK AT THAT. Jimmy: "WHAT WAS HE LIKE?
YOU KNOW, FIRST OF ALL, HE HARDLY EVER GIVES INTERVIEWS Jimmy: "NO, HE DOESN'T LIKE
TO TALK TO PEOPLE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I COULD HAVE JUST
INTERVIEWED YOU. Jimmy: "YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
"WHERE-- WHERE WERE WE? YOU GOT TO GET A COUPLE WRINKLES
Jimmy: "YEAH-- WE GOT TO DO IT LIKE THAT." WHAT-- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO
HIM? WHERE WERE YOU WELL, HERE'S THE BIG THING,
I-- WE WERE BOTH-- I WAS INTERVIEWING HIM IN L.A. AND I WAS STAYING IN-- AT THE
FOUR SEASONS IN BEVERLY HILLS, IN A TINY LITTLE ROOM. AND HE WAS STAYING AT THE FOUR
SEASONS IN BEVERLY HILLS IN THE MASSIVE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE, WHICH IS THE ENTIRE TOP FLOOR
OF THE HOTEL Jimmy: YEAH AND SOME PRODUCER IN
NEW YORK, WHO I-- I DIDN'T-- HADN'T WORKED WITH BEFORE, DECIDED TO EMAIL ME-- FAX ME,
THAT WAS THE-- FAX ME SOME QUESTIONS THAT SHE THOUGHT WOULD BE GOOD TO ASK
MICK JAGGER. Jimmy: "WHAT IS THE INTERNET?"
[ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW, WHAT IS THE INTERNET
[ LAUGHTER ] WHAT IS A FAX MACHINE? Jimmy: WHAT IS A FAX
MACHINE? THE CONCIERGE OF THE HOTEL TOOK THEM AND PUT THEM UNDER
MICK JAGGER'S DOOR INSTEAD OF MY DOOR. [ AUDIENCE OHS ]
AND THE QUESTIONS WERE BAD AND I WAS AWAKENED THE MORNING OF THE INTERVIEW WITH A PANICKY
PHONE CALL FROM THE BOOKER IN NEW YORK SAYING, "YOU'VE GOT TO GO STRAIGHT AWAY UP TO
MICK JAGGER'S PRESIDENTIAL SUITE AND MAKE THIS RIGHT. AND TELL HIM THAT-- THIS, YOU
KNOW, THIS WAS SOME ROGUE PRODUCER IN NEW YORK WHO DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING,
AND-- Jimmy: BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO GIVE
QUESTIONS-- NO, I-- WE NEVER GIVE QUESTIONS OUT, BUT I NEVER-- I
DON'T EVEN WRITE DOWN QUESTIONS WHEN I DO INTERVIEWS I MEAN, I WOULD NEVER HAVE
ASKED THOSE QUESTIONS THAT WERE BEING FAXED. THEY WERE NOT GOOD QUESTIONS
Jimmy: OOH. SO, THEY SAID, "YOU'VE GOT TO GO UP THERE RIGHT AWAY.
AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD" - Jimmy:-- HE CANCELLED, HE SAID, "I'M NOT DOING IT.
I'M NOT DOING IT." SO-- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID! Jimmy: "NO WAY, GET AWAY! AND SO--
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I GO AND I KNOCK ON THE DOOR, AND HE ANSWERS THE DOOR, AND
HE'S WEARING A SILK KIMONO ROBE - Jimmy: STOP IT, COME ON
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT IS OPEN TO HIS NAVEL Jimmy: YEAH
YES, 'CAUSE HE CAN DO THAT, BECAUSE HE'S MICK JAGGER YES
Jimmy: I LOVE THAT GUY. YES, HE CAN Jimmy: YEAH, HE'S A FASHION
ICON I LOVE IT. ANYWAY, I HAD TO GO INTO THE
SUITE, WHICH TOOK US FIVE MINUTES TO WALK THROUGH THE-- ALL THE MANY ROOMS TO FINALLY
GET TO THE LIVING ROOM, AND SIT DOWN AND CONVINCE HIM TO DO THE INTERVIEW--
Jimmy: AND DID HE DO IT HE DID IT Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, 'CAUSE HE'S THE BEST HE IS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH AND-- AND YOU GOT TO SEE HIM
IN A KIMONO. GOT A STORY. AND YOU KNOW-- HE'S REALLY
SMART. Jimmy: OH, HE'S BRILLIANT HE'S A REALLY SMART GUY
Jimmy: BRILLIANT, HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING. YEAH.
YEAH Jimmy: AND THEN, THE OTHER STORY THAT-- IT TOUCHED ME
ACTUALLY I THOUGHT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL THIS STORY-- YOU INTERVIEWED
JOE BIDEN BEFORE - OH, YEAH. Jimmy:-- BEFORE HE WAS
PRESIDENT. RIGHT BEFORE HE WAS-- I'VE INTERVIEWED HIM MANY TIMES
I INTERVIEWED HIM AND LINDSEY GRAHAM IN THE GREEN ZONE IN IRAQ IN BAGHDAD DURING
THE WAR, AND THAT'S WHEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE PLAYING WELL TOGETHER
BUT HE WROTE A BEAUTIFUL BOOK CALLED, "PROMISE ME, DAD" ABOUT HIS SON BEAU BIDEN WHO DIED OF
BRAIN CANCER Jimmy: YEAH AND ASKED ME TO PLEASE COME
DOWN TO FLORIDA AND INTERVIEW HIM IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE, WHICH I DID, AND
THAT'S A PICTURE OF US BACKSTAGE. AND OF COURSE I WAS-- AT THE
END OF THE INTERVIEW I HAD TO ASK, "ARE YOU GOING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT?
AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE HE WENT BACK UP TO DELAWARE TO MEET WITH THE FAMILY AND DECIDE
BUT HE WAS GREAT BECAUSE HE WENT-- HE CAME BACKSTAGE AFTERWARD AND HE SAID--
AND WE-- HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME TALKING AND HE SAID, "CAN I-- CAN I
CALL YOUR SONS?" AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT? AND HE SAID, "HAND ME YOUR
PHONE. CALL YOUR SONS." SO I CALLED MY SON ZACHARY, AND
HE SPOKE FOR 15 MINUTES ON THE PHONE, FIRST WITH MY SON ZACHARY, AND THEN WITH MY SON
SAM, BASICALLY SAYING, YOU KNOW, "THANK YOU FOR LETTING YOUR MOM COME DOWN HERE TONIGHT
AND INTERVIEW ME, AND GIVING HER UP FOR A SCHOOL NIGHT," 'CAUSE IT WS A SCHOOL NIGHT
AND, YOU KNOW, "I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR A COKE THE NEXT TIME I'M IN NEW YORK.
LIKE, YEAH RIGHT, BUT-- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: ARE YOU-- ARE YOU
GOING TO BE INTERVIEWING PEOPLE ON THE NEW SHOW? ON THE -
OH, YES IT'S MOSTLY INTERVIEW DRIVEN WE'RE GOING TO TAKE-- IT'S AN
HOUR LONG SHOW FROM 6:00 TO 7:00 EAST COAST TIME-- AND WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A HANDFUL
OF THE BIGGEST STORIES AND GO REALLY DEEP ON THEM. AND I LOVE DOING LIVE
INTERVIEWS, JIMMY. IT'S MY FAVORITE PART OF MY JOB.
Jimmy: YEAH SO, I DON'T WANT TO DO JUST, YOU KNOW, BE A PROMPTER JOCKEY
AS THEY CALL IT, WHEN YOU JUST DO NOTHING BUT READ STORY, STORY, STORY
I LIKE TO INTERVIEW PEOPLE Jimmy: SO ON MONDAY, WE'RE GOING TO SEE LIVE-- YOU'RE
JUST GOING TO - YEAH, WE'VE GOT A LOT OF GREAT GUESTS ON MONDAY NIGHT
ALREADY. I'M AFRAID TO TELL, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT, BUT -
Jimmy: "NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL. WE ALL KNOW WHO IT IS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] "REMEMBER ME I'M WEARING A KIMONO
HELLO! REMEMBER ME? HE'S NEVER GOING TO TALK TO
ME AGAIN NOW THAT I TOLD THAT STORY. Jimmy: NO, HE WILL, HE WILL,
HE WILL-- I LOVE YOU, CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU
Jimmy: GOOD LUCK ON EVERYTHING THANK YOU
Jimmy: ELIZABETH VARGAS, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"ELIZABETH VARGAS REPORTS" PREMIERES MONDAY AT 6:00 P.M. ON NEWSNATION.
MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE BREAK. STICK AROUND
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: HER ALBUM, "THE GOOD
WITCH," IS OUT JUNE 16th PERFORMING "LOST THE BREAKUP," PLEASE WELCOME MAISIE PETERS
♪ ♪ GOT THE NEWS JUST LAS MONTH THAT I A
EXHAUSTING AND YOU'R NOT IN LOVE ♪ ♪ DIDN'T SAY IT IN THOS
WORDS BUT I KNOW HOW YOU TONE WORKS YOU'RE MIA ♪ ♪ RUNNING SO FREE
CALLING YOUR E FORGETTING 'BOUT ME ♪ ♪ BUT I KNOW YOU COULD NEVE
YEAH, I KNOW YOU REMEMBE SO I'M FEELING AND I'M ♪ ♪ DEALING WITH THE HEART YO
BROKE WHILE YOU DO PRESS-UPS AND REPRESS US ♪ ♪ AND TAKE OFF HER CLOTHE
OH, I'M HURTING BUT I' CERTAIN IT'S STILL TRUE ♪ ♪ I'M THE BEST THING THAT
ALMOST HAPPENED TO YOU I KNOW I'M OBSESSED AND ♪ ♪ RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT BE A
MESS BUT ONE DAY YOU'R GONNA WAKE UP AND YOU'LL ♪ ♪ SEE YOU LOST THE BREAKU
I'LL SMILE AND YOU'L HAVE TO FACE IT ♪ ♪ I'M THE GREATEST LOVE THA
YOU WASTED BUT BY THEN I'LL BE FAR AWAY ♪ ♪ AND YOU'LL SEE YO
LOST THE BREAKUP BUT FOR NOW I'M OUT IN ♪ ♪ THE DUST FALLING APAR
OH, IS SHE JUST LIKE M YEAH, I RECKON ♪ ♪ YOU'VE GOT TWO TYPE
COUNTRY AND WESTER SO I'M FEELING AND I'M ♪ ♪ DEALING WITH THE HEAR
YOU BROKE WHILE YOU DO PRESS-UPS AND REPRESS US ♪ ♪ AND TAKE OFF HER CLOTHE
OH, I'M SOMETHING IF NOTHING ELSE IS TRUE ♪ ♪ I'M THE BEST THING THAT
ALMOST HAPPENED TO YOU I KNOW I'M OBSESSED AND ♪ ♪ RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT BE A
MESS BUT ONE DAY YOU'R GONNA WAKE UP AND YOU'LL ♪ ♪ SEE YOU LOST THE BREAKU
I'LL SMILE AND YOU'L HAVE TO FACE IT ♪ ♪ I'M THE GREATEST LOVE
THAT YOU WASTE BUT BY THEN I'LL BE FAR ♪ ♪ AWAY AND YOU'LL SEE YOU
LOST THE BREAKUP ♪ ♪ ♪ YOU'LL SEE YO
LOST THE BREAKUP YOU'RE GONNA WALK INTO SOME UNDERGROUND BAR ♪
♪ YOU'LL SEE A PRETTY LITTL THING CATCHING EYE IN THE DARK AND IT'S ME ♪
♪ I'LL SEE YOU TO I'LL WAVE AND I'M DANCIN OVER TO YOU ♪
♪ IN THE CORNER AND YOU'L SAY WOW, HEY, IT'S BEE FOREVER DO YOU WANNA GET ♪
♪ A DRINK, LIKE TOGETHE I'D SAY, I'M KINDA BUS LIKE I'M ON FALLON TONIGHT ♪
♪ OH, MAN I WON THE BREAKUP I'LL SMILE AND YOU'LL ♪ ♪ HAVE TO FACE IT
I'M THE GREATEST LOVE THAT YOU WASTED ♪ ♪ BUT BY THEN I'LL BE FAR
AWAY AND YOU'LL SE YOU LOST THE BREAKUP ♪ ♪
♪ AND YOU'LL SEE YOU LOST THE BREAKUP ♪ ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON NOW. EXACTLY, RIGHT
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT THANK YOU SO MUCH. MAISIE PETERS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MAISIE PETERS. TICKETS TO HER U.S. TOUR ARE ON
SALE NOW WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
MAISIE PETERS ONCE AGAIN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND OF COURSE, THE ROOTS FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA HEY, ROOTS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY BYE-BYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪