Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - TESSA THOMPSON
ANDY COHEN MUSICAL GUEST, THE NATIONAL. AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1807
Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
EVERYBODY. THANK YOU, ENJOY YOURSELF. WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." YOU'RE HERE, YOU MADE IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAPPY FRIDAY HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYBODY.
EVERYONE IS EXCITED ABOUT THIS TODAY, THE NEW MOVIE "CREED 3" HIT THEATERS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, IT'S SOME OF THE MOST BRUTAL FIGHTING YOU'LL SEE ON
SCREEN WITHOUT ANDY COHEN SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. [ LAUGHTER ]
I'M TELLING YOU. LET'S GET TO THE NEWS. I READ THAT IN THE COMING
WEEKS, FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP PLANS TO AMP UP THE ATTACKS AND NAME CALLING ON FLORIDA
GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S ACTUALLY A NICE CHANGE
OF PACE. USUALLY FIGHTS BETWEEN FLORIDA GUYS TAKE PLACE IN A WAFFLE
HOUSE PARKING LOT. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT TRUMP SAID HE WAS GOING TO
UP THE NAME CALLING. SO GET READY FOR THREE STRAIGHT MONTHS OF MORON DeSANTIS
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S WEIRD WHEN A GUY GOES ON A NAME CALLING SPREE AGAINST
SOMEONE WHO HAS ALMOST THE SAME NAME IT'S LIKE, "WHAT KIND OF A
A CRAZY NAME IS RONALD?" [ LAUGHTER ] "THAT'S THE DUMBEST NAME I'VE
EVER HEARD RONALD." [ LAUGHTER ]
"IMAGINE IF I CALLED MY SON RONALD TRUMP JR. [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, IT SEEMS LIKE TRUMP AND DeSANTIS ARE REALLY GOING TO ATTACK EACH OTHER'S
DIFFERENCES. BUT THE MORE YOU BREAK IT DOWN, THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT IN
COMMON I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN. IT'S TIME FOR "SIMILARITIES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
♪ SIMILARITIES ♪ Jimmy: FOR EXAMPLE, DeSANTIS THINKS HE CAN BEAT BIDEN
TRUMP STILL THINKS HE BEAT BIDEN. [ LAUGHTER ]
Steve: VERY SIMILAR Jimmy: NEXT UP, DeSANTIS WANTS TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM
DONALD TRUMP TRUMP WANTS TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM DONALD TRUMP JR
[ LAUGHTER ] "NO, THANKS. OH, HI, HOW ARE YOU?
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE TRUMP FLEW CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS TO MAR-A-LAGO.
DeSANTIS FLEW UNDOCUMENTED PEOPLE TO MARTHA'S VINEYARD. [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME SIMILAR - Steve: VERY SIMILAR Jimmy: YEAH, THEN THERE'S
THIS DeSANTIS WANTS MORE CONTROL OVER DISNEY WORLD.
TRUMP WANTS TO BUILD A WALL AROUND EPCOT [ LAUGHTER ]
"MAKE FAKE MEXICO PAY FOR IT." [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, DeSANTIS WANTS TO
BAN WOKE BOOKS TRUMP WANTS TO WAIT FOR THE MOVIE TO COME OUT BEFORE
BANNING. [ LAUGHTER ] HE'S LIKE, "I'M NOT GOING TO
READ THAT. AND FINALLY, TRUMP LOVES THE DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS.
DeSANTIS LOVES DRESSING LIKE THE DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE MEANWHILE, TODAY-- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS, TRUMP
RELEASED A CAMPAIGN VIDEO CALLING FOR A NATIONAL CONTEST TO CREATE FUTURISTIC FREEDOM
CITIES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SOMEHOW THIS IS GOING TO END
WITH THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IN A BIKINI I JUST KNOW IT
[ LAUGHTER ] TRUMP HAS A LOT OF BIG IDEAS HE ALSO PROPOSED ADDING
A SECOND ST. LOUIS ARCH AND PAINTING THEM GOLD [ LAUGHTER ]
INTERESTING. SOME NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE TODAY.
PRESIDENT BIDEN HOSTED GERMAN CHANCELLOR, OLAF SCHOLZ. YEP, BIDEN MET WITH OLAF
IT WENT BETTER THAN WHEN TRUMP MET WITH HIM HE SAID, "I WAS EXPECTING
A SNOWMAN. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUILD IT
IN MY FUTURE CITY, NO ONE HAS TO DO ANYTHING." [ LAUGHTER ]
GET THIS, I HEARD THAT A A SCIENTIST FOUND A SUPER RARE, JURASSIC ERA, INSECT AT
A WALMART IN ARKANSAS. [ LAUGHTER ] I MEAN, IT'S ANCIENT
AND GOOD NEWS, IT WAS IMMEDIATELY HIRED AS A GREETER [ LAUGHTER ]
WE HAVE TO LAUGH AT OURSELVES, YOU KNOW FINALLY, RESEARCHERS JUST
DISCOVERED THAT WINE MAKING BEGAN 11,000 YEARS AGO YEP, TO FIND OUT MORE, TUNE IN
TO THE NEW BRAVO SHOW "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MESOPOTAMIA. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
LET'S GO WRITE SOME "THANK YOU NOTES.
♪ Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW,
EVERYBODY. I JUST WANTED TO SEND A QUICK SHOUT-OUT TO CHRIS ROCK.
HE HAS A NEW STAND-UP SPECIAL ON NETFLIX TOMORROW NIGHT. IT IS CALLED "CHRIS ROCK:
SELECTIVE OUTRAGE. IT IS STREAMING LIVE AT 10:00 P.M.
IT IS THE FIRST TIME NETFLIX IS EVER DOING ANY LIVE EVENT EVER AND IT'S GOING TO BE HILARIOUS
SO BREAK A LEG, CHRIS. WE LOVE YOU BROTHER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND DON'T FORGET THIS, TUESDAY NIGHT COMING UP, SET YOUR DVRs MARCH 7th IS THE SEASON
PREMIERE OF MY SHOW "THAT'S MY JAM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
10:00, NBC, RIGHT AFTER "THE VOICE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ [ SCATTING ] THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK WHEN YOU
SEE "THAT'S MY JAM." YOU GET THAT EXCITED IT'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S MY JAM? [ SCATTING ] ♪
YEAH THEN YOU GO-- [ SCATTING ]
YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING TOO. YOU GET THAT EXCITED Steve: YOU GET SOUND MACHINE
EXCITED. Jimmy: YOU GET MIAMI SOUND MACHINE EXCITED.
WHEN YOU SEE "THAT'S MY JAM," IT COMES ON, YOU'RE LIKE - ♪
NO, BUT IT'S THE ENDING PART ♪ Jimmy: IT'S THE END JAM
♪ [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: THAT'S HOW EXCITED
YOU GET. Jimmy: LIGHTS GO OUT. GLORIA ESTEFAN GETS IN HER
LIMOUSINE. Steve: BUT IN YOUR LIVING ROOM
Jimmy: YES. SHE'S NOT ON THE SHOW, UNFORTUNATELY.
BUT MAYBE NEXT SEASON. GLORIA, IF YOU ARE WATCHING, WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU ON
BUT FIRST, WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT. SHE STARS ALONGSIDE
MICHAEL B. JORDAN IN THE NEW FILM "CREED 3," WHICH OPENS IN THEATERS AND IMAX NATIONWIDE
TODAY. TESSA THOMPSON IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S OUR BUD IT'S FUN PLUS, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH
I LOVE THIS GUY. HE'S THE HOST OF "WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE."
SEASON 20 AIRS EVERY SUNDAY THROUGH THURSDAY, ON BRAVO ANDY COHEN IS JOINING US
TONIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FUNNY DUDE
GET READY FOR WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN TONIGHT GET READY.
YOU WANT TO SEE GOOD MUSIC YOU WANT TO HEAR GREAT MUSIC Steve: YES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU READY? THE ONE AND ONLY, THE NATIONAL
IS HERE TONIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "THE FIRST TWO PAGES OF
FRANKENSTEIN" IS THE NAME OF THE ALBUM. DO YOU WANT ME TO PLAY A LITTLE
PIECE OF WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO PLAY TONIGHT Steve: CAN YOU BUST ME OFF
A PIECE? Jimmy: YEAH ♪
[ LAUGHTER ] NO Steve: THEY'RE NOT DOING
GLORIA Jimmy: THEY SAID THEY WON'T DO ANY MIAMI-- THERE'S
A LAWSUIT. Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT HAPPENED?
Jimmy: IT WAS GOING TO BE GLORIA ESTEFAN AND THE NATIONAL FOR YEARS.
Steve: YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS. Jimmy: THEY BROKE UP.
SHE CREATED MIAMI SOUND MACHINE. Steve: RIGHT.
WITH HER HUSBAND YEAH Jimmy: WITH HER HUSBAND
AND NOW THE NATIONAL IS HERE Steve: THE NATIONAL IS GOING, "WHAT ABOUT US?
Jimmy: I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I HEARD THEY'RE ON SPEAKING TERMS BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO
EVEN REFERENCE "CONGA. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Steve: REALLY
Jimmy: THEY THINK THEY WROTE IT Steve: THEY THINK THEY WROTE
IT Jimmy: YEAH AND I THINK THEY DID TOO
THEY'RE ALL TOGETHER Steve: THE NATIONAL - Jimmy: THEY WERE YOUNG.
THEY WERE KIDS Steve: THEY'RE 15 SOME OF THEM WERE 12
Jimmy: LAWYERS GET INVOLVED YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS. HERE'S THE NATIONAL.
THIS IS CALLED "TROPIC MORNING NEWS." THIS IS A GREAT BAND, COME ON.
♪ ♪ DO THE CONGA ♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO IT. THE NATIONAL IS HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE NATIONAL IS HERE ♪
THAT'S THE WAY THEY DO IT. Steve: THAT'S THE WAY THEY DO IT.
Jimmy: THAT'S THE WAY I'LL INTRODUCE THEM LATER TOO Steve: YEAH
Jimmy: THE NATIONAL IS HERE ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
TODAY'S FRIDAY Steve: REALLY Jimmy: YEAH
THAT'S USUALLY-- I CATCH UP ON SOME PERSONAL STUFF. Steve: REALLY
Jimmy: OH, YEAH Steve: WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO? Jimmy: WELL, I CHECK MY
INBOX, RETURN EMAILS OF COURSE, I SEND OUT "THANK YOU NOTES.
IT'S FRIDAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOULD YOU GUYS MIND IF I WROTE
OUT SOME "THANK YOU NOTES" TONIGHT? Steve: NOW?
Jimmy: NOW. Steve: NOW? Jimmy: YEAH, IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE SHOW. Steve: WOW. Jimmy: JAMES, CAN I GET SOME
THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE I WOULD LOVE SOME.
♪ [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: OH, MY GOD
WOW, THAT'S THE MIAMI SOUND ASLEEP MACHINE Jimmy: YEAH, WHY IS HE SO
EXCITED? Steve: I DON'T KNOW HE LOVES THE CONGA
♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU, RON DeSANTIS FOR BEING ON
A MISSION TO DESTROY TWO DONALDS, TRUMP AND DUCK. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
♪ THANK YOU, PRINCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE'S EVICTION FROM
THE ROYAL RESIDENCE, FOR LEADING TO THE MOST EPIC U-HAUL PROCESSION EVER.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "GET IT OUT OF HERE! ♪
THANK YOU, MANDALORIAN HELMET, FOR LOOKING LIKE IRON MAN WITH OZEMPIC FACE
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: OZEMPIC FACE Jimmy: OZEMPIC FACE
Steve: VITAMIN O. ♪ Jimmy: THANK YOU, SUBWAY,
FOR BUILDING NEW RESTAURANTS WITH PLAYGROUNDS FOR BEING PERFECT FOR ANYONE
WHO'S WALKED INTO A SUBWAY AND THOUGHT, "IF ONLY MY KIDS COULD PLAY HERE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ♪ I CAN DREAM I CAN DREAM ♪
THE NATIONAL IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
THANK YOU, JAPAN, FINDING 7,000 ISLANDS IT DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED.
FOR BEING THE GLOBAL VERSION OF FINDING $20 IN YOUR COAT POCKET
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "AWESOME." Steve: NICE
Jimmy: DO THE CONGA Steve: DO THE CONGA ON THIS ♪
Jimmy: THANK YOU, POWDERED DONUT HOLES, FOR LOOKING LIKE SOMETHING COCAINE BEAR LEFT
BEHIND ON THE TRAIL. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: WHOA, HELLO.
Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY IT. Steve: THAT'S IT. THAT'S COCAINE BEAR SCAT
Jimmy: THAT'S IT. SCAT ♪
Jimmy: THANK YOU, PISTACHIOS, FOR BEING NUT CLAMS.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Steve: THAT SOUNDS FILTHY THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW.
Jimmy: NUT CLAMS. Steve: NUT CLAMS? WAIT A SECOND
I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING CLEAN Jimmy: WE GOT ONE MORE JOKE ONE MORE?
OH, MY GOD Jimmy: YOU THINK I CAN'T TOP THAT ONE
Steve: YOU GOT TO TOP NUT CLAM Jimmy: NO WAY, MAN.
Steve: CLAM IT UP, G. Jimmy: HERE WE GO, G. ♪
THANK YOU, KFC, FOR BRINGING BACK YOUR DOUBLE DOWN SANDWICH RIGHT IN TIME FOR THE FINALE OF
"THE LAST OF US. THERE YOU GO, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU.
THOSE ARE OUR "THANK YOU NOTES. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
"BATTLE OF THE INSTANT STAND-UPS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ I THINK THAT THE GUY IN MAROON 5 SOUNDS LIKE IF FOR THE
LAST FIVE YEARS ELMO HAS BEEN TAKING TESTOSTERONE. [ LAUGHTER ]
♪ AND SHE WIL BE LOVED ♪ BEAUTIFUL!
Jimmy: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. HERE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW," WE
LOVE STAND-UP COMEDY AND WE ESPECIALLY LOVE STAND-UP WRITTEN BY OUR AUDIENCE MEMBERS
IN UNDER AN HOUR THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S TIME FOR "BATTLE OF THE INSTANT
STAND-UPS. HERE WE GO
♪ BATTLE OF THE INSTANT STAND-UPS ♪ Jimmy: WELCOME TO "BATTLE OF
THE INSTANT STAND-UPS. BEFORE THE SHOW, WE WENT THROUGH OUR AUDIENCE AND PICKED
OUT TWO PEOPLE WHO SAID THEY WERE COMEDIANS WE GAVE THEM EACH A TOPIC AND
THEN GAVE THEM AN HOUR TO WRITE AN ORIGINAL STAND-UP SET BASED ON THAT TOPIC.
THEY'VE NEVER PERFORMED. HERE THEY ARE PREPARING BACKSTAGE A MINUTE AGO
YEAH YOU CAN'T UNSEE THAT [ LAUGHTER ]
NOW LET'S SEE WHAT THEY CAME UP WITH AND MEET THEM RIGHT NOW COME ON OVER, EVERYBODY.
GUYS, COME ON OUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
NICE TO SEE YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU. PLEASURE
HI NICE TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU
Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW. NOW, LET'S START WITH CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE.
WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM I'M NAT TOWSEN, AND I'M FROM
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH, MANHATTAN,
NEW YORK I LOVE THAT. NAT, WHAT WAS THE TOPIC THAT
YOU WERE GIVEN TONIGHT ST. PATRICK'S DAY Jimmy: OKAY
NAT, ARE YOU IRISH OR WE'LL FIND OUT? I'M NOT
Jimmy: INTERESTING. AND YOU'VE NEVER PERFORMED THIS IN FRONT OF A CROWD.
YOU JUST WROTE THIS? YEAH. Jimmy: THIS IS VERY
EXCITING ALL RIGHT. WELL, HEAD ON OVER TO THE
STAGE. GET IN YOUR HEAD SPACE NAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ THIS IS EXCITING
I LOVE THIS. AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE TO PERFORM A BRAND NEW
COMEDY SET ABOUT ST. PATRICK'S DAY, PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR NAT TOWSEN
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
I JUST GOT BACK FROM EUROPE. I KNOW I LOOK LIKE I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I LEARNED THAT IN IRELAND, ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS ACTUALLY
NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL. THEY ALREADY HAVE A DAY WHEN EVERYONE DRINKS.
IT'S CALLED MONDAY [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE LAST YEAR, I SPENT
ST. PATRICK'S DAY WITH 3,000 DRUNK IDIOTS IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN.
[ CHEERS ] NO PLACE HAS BEEN THAT DISRESPECTFUL TO THE IRISH
SINCE ENGLAND. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT'S TRUE, THE ENGLISH HATE
REDHEADS SO MUCH, THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE PRINCE HARRY [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
] AND EVERYONE IN MIDTOWN WAS DRESSED IN TRADITIONAL CELTIC
MARDI GRAS BEADS [ LAUGHTER ] AND A T-SHIRT THAT SAID, "IRISH
YOU WERE NAKED." [ LAUGHTER ] IRISH I WAS MAKING THAT UP
[ LAUGHTER ] AND EVERYONE WAS WEARING GREEN SO, YOU COULDN'T EVEN TELL
WHICH FRAT THEY WERE IN. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND THEN THEY ALL SCURRIED OFF
TO NEW JERSEY. [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE THE SNAKES FLEEING
IRELAND. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, IN DUBLIN, EVERYONE
JUST HAD A COUPLE OF PINTS AT THE PUB AND THEN, HEADED TO A MUSEUM TO SEE THE BODY OF
A MAN WHO DIED IN A BOG IN 400 B.C. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND IN AMERICA, WE CELEBRATE BY PEEING IN AN ATM [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M NAT TOWSEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ Jimmy: NAT TOWSEN, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT WAS AMAZING I APPRECIATE IT.
LET'S MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO. WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND WHERE ARE
YOU FROM I'M ALLISON REESE, AND I AM FROM MESA, ARIZONA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: ARIZONA! ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU TELL
EVERYONE WHAT YOUR TOPIC IS. YES, SPRING BREAK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, BUD, THIS IS GOOD. ARIZONA'S GOT SOME GOOD SPRING
BREAKING OUT THERE THEY HAVE SOME GOOD PARTY SCHOOLS.
YEAH, ASU Jimmy: YEAH, ASU, EXACTLY RIGHT.
THEY'RE SO INTO IT. Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. GET READY, GET IN YOUR HEAD
SPACE. BE PREPARED. THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS
AND LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE READY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE TO PERFORM A BRAND-NEW COMEDY SET
ABOUT SPRING BREAK IS THE ONE AND ONLY ALLISON REESE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YES.
I'VE NEVER BEEN A SPRING BREAK PERSON YOU KNOW
I'M REALLY MORE OF A KOHL'S CASH COUNTS AS REAL MONEY KIND OF A PERSON.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW BUT FLORIDA SPRING BREAK SEEMS
COOL, RIGHT? THEY GOT BEACHES, DRINKING, GATORS, THAT PET POSSUM WITH
LIPSTICK ON IT FLORIDA'S GOT ALL YOUR SPRING BREAK NEEDS, YOU KNOW.
YOU KNOW, IF I EVER WENT TO A SPRING BREAK CONCERT THOUGH, I THINK I'D WANT TO SEE
MAROON 5 YEAH, RIGHT? YEAH
[ APPLAUSE ] I WANT TO SEE MAROON 5 SOLELY BECAUSE I THINK THAT THE GUY IN
MAROON 5 SOUNDS LIKE IF FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS ELMO HAS BEEN TAKING TESTOSTERONE.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW LIKE, CAN'T YOU HEAR IT?
♪ AND SHE WIL BE LOVED ♪ ♪ TAP ON MY WINDO
KNOCK MY DOOR ♪ ELMO WANNA MAKE YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE HA-HA. THAT TICKLES
OH, MAN, YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT GUY DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ELMO. [ LAUGHTER ]
LATER, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LISTENING TO MAROON 5 AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE, ELMO?
ELMO, YOUR VOICE DROPPED [ LAUGHTER ] HONESTLY, IT'S THE ONLY SPRING
BREAK CONCERT I'M SPENDING MY KOHL'S CASH ON, SO, YEAH [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M ALLISON REESE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ Jimmy: OH, COME ON, ALLISON ALLISON REESE ONCE AGAIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW, IT IS TIME TO SEE WHO WON SO, WE'RE GOING TO LET OUR
GREAT AUDIENCE DECIDE THE WINNER WAS IT NAT TOWSEN?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OR WAS IT ALLISON REESE? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] E THE
WINNER IS ALLISON REESE! CONGRATULATIONS! [ DINGING
♪ YOU'LL BE GOING HOME WITH AN "I LOVE JOKES" SWEATSHIRT
CONGRATULATIONS. YES, CONGRATULATIONS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU'LL ALSO TAKE A "TONIGHT SHOW" NOTEBOOK FOR WRITING MORE COMEDY AND $1,000 CASH
COME ON, BUD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALLISON REESE, THANK YOU SO
MUCH BUT NO ONE GOES HOME EMPTY HANDED
OUR OTHER CONTESTANT WILL ALSO GET AN "I LOVE JOKES" SWEATSHIRT
THERE YOU GO NAT, YOU DESERVE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND A "TONIGHT SHOW" NOTEBOOK AND $1,000 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GIVE IT UP FOR OUR TWO NEW INSTANT STAND-UP COMEDIANS STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH TESSA THOMPSON COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ I GO-GO DANCED FOR THE B-52s ONCE, ABOUT 25 YEARS AGO
FOR REAL, I REALLY DID Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT AT THE UNIVERSAL
AMPHITHEATER JUST FREE AND WITH ABANDON I'M LIKE, SIDE TO SIDE
Jimmy: SIDE TO SIDE SIDE TO SIDE. Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN
EMMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS STARRING ALONGSIDE MICHAEL B. JORDAN IN THE NEW FILM, "CREED III,"
WHICH OPENS IN THEATERS AND IMAX NATIONWIDE, TODAY PLEASE WELCOME, TESSA THOMPSON
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE
OF OUR RIVALS ♪ ♪ AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT
AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYE--♪ ♪ TESSA THOMPSON ♪
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU ALMOST-- YOU
ALMOST COMPLETED IT. YOU-- EVERYTHING. YOU HIT THE NOTE AND
EVERYTHING, BUT THEN - Tariq: WELL, SHE WAS AT THE COUCH ALREADY.
SO I WAS LIKE-- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT-- Jimmy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE -
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WAS LIKE, "AM I WAITING FOR YOU?
DO YOU WAIT FOR ME?" Jimmy: YEAH, WHO KNOWS. BUT IT'S SUCH A GREAT INTRO
LIKE THAT, "EYE OF THE TIGER," BUT-- ♪ WITH THE EYE--
TESSA THOMPSON ♪ ♪ YOU GOTTA END WITH TESSA
THANKS, GENTLEMEN HI, AHMIR. Jimmy: IT IS SO NICE TO SEE
YOU. WELCOME TO THE SHOW. THANK YOU.
I READ A LOT ABOUT YOU GETTING READY FOR THIS INTERVIEW, AND I READ SOMETHING, AND I SAID TO
MYSELF, "THIS CAN'T BE TRUE. BUT-- CAN YOU TELL ME IF THIS IS TRUE OR NOT
OH, NO. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I READ THAT YOU'VE
NEVER EATEN EGGS THAT IS A TRUE THING. I'VE NEVER HAD AN EGG.
HARD BOILED, SCRAMBLED, OMELETTED. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
DEVILED. Jimmy: IS "OMELETTED" A A WORD
IS IT Jimmy: YOU INVENTED A-- WAIT, BUT, HOW HAVE YOU GONE
THROUGH LIFE NEVER HAVING AN EGG? OKAY, WELL, I THINK IT
STARTED BECAUSE I HAD SOME MISINFORMATION ABOUT EGGS. MY PARENTS NEVER TOLD ME THAT,
LIKE, THE EGGS THAT YOU EAT WOULD NEVER BECOME A CHICKEN AND SO, LIKE, MORALLY, I WAS
LIKE, "I--" YOU KNOW, "THEY SHOULD BE CHICKENS SOMEDAY." SO I DIDN'T EAT EGGS THEN.
AND THEN ALSO JUST LIKE, ONCE I UNDERSTOOD THAT, I JUST DIDN'T TRUST THEM, YOU KNOW
[ LAUGHTER ] BECAUSE THEY-- THEY SHAPESHIFT
LIKE, ONE SECOND THEY'RE THIS, ONE SECOND THEY'RE THAT. Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, OF
COURSE A FRITTATA, THEN THEY'RE AN OMELET
YES YES! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT'S SUSPECT AS A KID, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Jimmy: YOU GO, "WHAT IS AN EGG? WHAT IS AN EGG?
AND THEN I - Jimmy: IS IT A SOLID, IS IT A LIQUID
AND THEN I WAS SO SERIOUS ABOUT IT, I DIDN'T EVEN EAT EGGPLANT FOR THE LONGEST TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ] 'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS CONNECTED.
Jimmy: NO RELATION! I WAS SO COMMITTED. BUT THEN I GOT TO A CERTAIN AGE
WHERE IT WAS KIND OF MY SHTICK, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LIKE, HERE, I'M TALKING ABOUT
IT ON LATE NIGHT TELEVISION. IT'S LIKE A-- A REMARKABLE THING, YOU KNOW?
Jimmy: SO YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE - YOU'VE GOTTA HOLD ON TO THE
WAYS IN WHICH YOU CAN BE EXCEPTIONAL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND FOR ME - Jimmy: THIS IS-- THIS IS NOT IT FOR YOU
FOR ME, NOT - Jimmy: THIS IS NOT IT FOR YOU.
IT'S A BIG PARTY TRICK. Jimmy: I KNOW, BUT-- SERIOUSLY, I'VE BEEN PLACES
WHERE PEOPLE ARE LIKE-- Jimmy: YOU'RE IN TWO GIANT MOVIE FRANCHISES -
"YO, GET OVER HERE, SHE'S NEVER HAD AN EGG." [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: THAT'S NOT - WHAT PARTIES HAVE YOU BEEN TO WHERE SOMEONE IS LIKE, "GET
OVER HERE, SHE'S NEVER HAD AN EGG" I HAVE--
Jimmy: THAT'S NOT TRUE. THEY'RE REALLY FUN PARTIES, LET ME TELL YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I WANT TO BE INVITED TO THOSE PARTIES
TESSA, I DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU ON THE SPOT OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT WOULD YOU EVER--
WOULD YOU EVER TRY AN EGG IF I-- Jimmy: OKAY, SEE, THIS--
OKAY, MICHAEL B. JORDAN TRIED TO GET ME TO EAT AN EGG LAST WEEK
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BECAUSE WE HAVE A THING-- WE HAVE A THING WHERE -
FIRST OF ALL, JONATHAN MAJORS ATE EIGHT HARD-BOILED EGGS FOR BREAKFAST WHEN WE WERE MAKING
THAT MOVIE Jimmy: YEAH 'CAUSE HE'S JACKED
YEAH, AND ALSO, THEY COULD AFFORD IT 'CAUSE I WASN'T EATING ANY EGGS.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN - Jimmy: YOU PASSED ON THEM,
YEAH MICHAEL B. GOT ME TO EAT MY FIRST BITE OF STEAK.
I HAD NEVER HAD A STEAK. AND THEN WE MADE THE FIRST ONE--
I KNOW, I'M LOSING Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU -
EAT Jimmy: WAS THAT ANOTHER PARTY TRICK?
YEAH. Jimmy: "YOU'VE GOTTA GET OVER HERE, SHE'S NEVER HAD
STEAK. IT'S LIKE, WOW, THIS PARTY IS GETTING OLD REAL QUICK
EXACTLY BUT NOW I DON'T HAVE THOSE ANYMORE.
SO, LAST WEEK, I DECLINED THE EGG. BUT, THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
LIKE, I AM THE KIND OF PERSON - LIKE, I BELIEVE IN, LIKE, "I'LL
TRY ANYTHING ONCE. SO IT IS SORT OF WEIRD THAT I'VE NEVER TRIED AN EGG.
Jimmy: AND YOU WOULD DO IT TONIGHT FOR US [ AUDIENCE OOHS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH NO Jimmy: NOW TESSA, I
DIDN'T - TESSA, I ALSO-- I DON'T WANT YOU TO SMELL THE EGG OR
ANYTHING OH, YEAH, NO. I KNOW
Jimmy: I HAVE KETCHUP AS WELL SCRAMBLED IS THE WAY WE
PREPARED THEM TONIGHT. OO-KAY. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THEY'RE NOT-- THEY'RE NOT RUNNY OR ANYTHING, RIGHT Jimmy: HOLD ON.
NO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE NOT RUNNY.
DO YOU WANT TO SEE THEM? YEAH. Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD
I WANT TO OPEN THEM OVER HERE. I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO GET A A WAFT AND GET -
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND THEN-- AND THEN BAIL. BUT SEE, HOW DO YOU EAT EGGS
IT THAT'S HOW YOU HAVE TO-- Jimmy: I NORMALLY DON'T HAVE THEM UNDER A SILVER CONTAINER
THAT IS-- LIKE, THIS IS A VERY FANCY, FANCY SCRAMBLE
THIS IS RIGHT FROM THE WAFFLE HOUSE FROM FLORIDA [ LAUGHTER ]
THERE YOU GO [ AUDIENCE OOHS ♪
NOW THESE ARE SCRAMBLED EGGS, THEY ACTUALLY LOOK REALLY GOOD NOW DO YOU WANT THESE-- DO YOU
WANT KETCHUP DO YOU WANT HOT SAUCE? HOT SAUCE
Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THROW IT ON THERE TESSA THOMPSON TRYING EGGS FOR
THE FIRST TIME EVER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALL RIGHT, TAKE YOUR TIME.
OH, YEAH SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CONSISTENCY?
OOH, THERE'S MOISTURE [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: A LITTLE SPONGEY,
A LITTLE SPONGEY WHAT IS THE MOISTURE FROM Jimmy: FROM THE EGG
IT'S LIKE EGG WATER Jimmy: THE EGG. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
OOH OKAY ALL RIGHT.
Jimmy: IS THAT WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU GET NERVOUS YEAH.
Jimmy: "OOH!" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU GOT IT, BUD.
YOU GOT THIS COME ON! YOU GOT THIS, BUDDY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
THERE'S WATER. YOU CAN DRINK WATER. [ APPLAUSE ]
HERE'S WATER NO, NO, OKAY SHE'S OKAY
HOLD ON. DO YOU HAVE A DECISION, OR DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING?
[ CLEARS THROAT NO NOTHING?
OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WOW, THAT'S IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU DID IT THAT'S IT.
WE DON'T HAVE TO BRING IT UP OH. Jimmy: WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK
ABOUT ANYTHING WOW. BUT NOW IT'S, LIKE,
DOCUMENTED THAT I HAVE EATEN AN EGG. Jimmy: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND HOW DO YOU FEEL? NOW I GOTTA LET IT GO
ACTUALLY, THEY'RE NOT BAD. Jimmy: THERE YOU GO THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE EGGS ARE DELICIOUS
THEY'RE NOT BAD. THEY'RE NOT BAD Jimmy: WOW, WE STARTED
A WHOLE THING. NOW EVERY TIME YOU COME ON THE SHOW, WE HAVE TO TRY A FOOD
THAT YOU'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE MOVIE,
PLEASE YEAH. Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS ON
THIS ALREADY, IT'S GETTING GREAT REVIEWS.
"CREED III." THANK YOU SO MUCH Jimmy: CAN WE SET UP WHAT--
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH "CREED III"? YES
I PLAY A SINGER WHO NOW HAS STOPPED PERFORMING, BUT OWNS HER OWN RECORD LABEL, AND IS
PRODUCING ARTISTS. Jimmy: PRODUCER AND MIKE HAS STEPPED AWAY
FROM THE BOXING RING, AND HE'S ESSENTIALLY, YOU KNOW, LOOKING AFTER BOXERS AND HAS HIS OWN
GYM. AND THEY'RE SUCCESSFUL, AND THEY'RE RICH, AND THEY'RE
FAMOUS, AND THEY'RE HAPPY. Jimmy: AND THEN, DING-DONG. AND THEN, IN COMES SOMEONE
FROM ADONIS'S PAST WHO STANDS TO, SORT OF, POTENTIALLY DESTROY EVERYTHING
AND HE HAS TO-- BECAUSE IT'S A BOXING MOVIE-- GET BACK IN THE RING
Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT AND EVERYONE GOES NUTS WHEN THEY'RE WATCHING IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IF YOU WANT TO-- IT'S SO EXCITING
I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S TESSA THOMPSON IN "CREED
III. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
SO, MISS PRODUCER, WHEN'S
YOUR NEXT SHOW I DON'T REALLY PERFORM LIKE THAT THESE DAYS.
YEAH, I TOOK A BREAK, 'CAUSE I WAS-- I WAS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH MY HEARING ON STAGE
AND NOW I'M TRYING TO BE CAREFUL AND PRESERVE WHAT I GOT LEFT
SO, I AM PRODUCING YEAH NOT ANYTIME SOON
STILL HARD TO GIVE THAT PART UP THOUGH, RIGHT YEAH, IT'S NOT THE ONLY
THING I LOVE, BUT IT TAKES WORK Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT. TESSA THOMPSON, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
"CREED III" IS IN THEATERS AND IMAX NOW ANDY COHEN JOINS US, AFTER THE
BREAK. STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS ONE OF OUR FAVORITES
HE'S AN EMMY AND PEABODY-WINNING HOST AND PRODUCER WHO YOU CAN SEE EVERY
SUNDAY THROUGH THURSDAY, ON SEASON 20 OF "WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE" ON BRAVO
PLEASE WELCOME OUR PAL, ANDY COHEN
♪ ♪ Jimmy: WOW.
JIM-JAM Jimmy: WHOA THIS IS THE ORIGINAL SHIRT
YOU GAVE ME-- Jimmy: CAN WE SEE THAT SHIRT?
- 24 APPEARANCES AGO Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH! Jimmy: YOU'RE A STUD. YEAH!
Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK WE ALWAYS LOVE HAVING YOU ON
THE SHOW, BUD. THANKS, MY JIM-JAM. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: I SAW A PICTURE OF YOU-- I FOLLOW YOU ON THE INSTAS AND ALL THE SOCIALS -
YEAH, YEAH. Jimmy: AND YOU WERE JUST HANGING OUT IN AUSTRALIA,
LOOKING LIKE A STUD. YEAH, I HAD THE BEST TIME I AM SO JET-LAGGED, BY THE WAY
WHEN DOES IT END 'CAUSE I GOT BACK ON SUNDAY, AND I'M LIKE -
Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YEAH, I'M WITH MY JIM-JAM
Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD YES, ABSOLUTELY Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
I KNOW EXACTLY. YOU KNOW WHERE I AM? WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
Jimmy: WOW. I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR-- [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S WHERE I AM. Jimmy: WHAT IN THE-- I GOT BOOPED ON THAT
YEAH, YOU GOT BOOPED. I WANT TO BOOP YOU Jimmy: YOU HAD TO BOOP ME
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT IT HAPPENS OKAY, GOOD
HOW ARE THE BABIES LITTLE BABY LUCY-- AM I ALLOWED TO -
YES DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO Jimmy: CAN I SHOW A PHOTO OF
LUCY YEAH, THEY'RE SO GOOD Jimmy: LOOK AT BABY -
YEAH, SHE STARTED CRAWLING LAST WEEK. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. ANDY, SHE IS GORGEOUS. WE WERE TRYING TO TEACH HER
TO CRAWL FOR LONG TIME SHE'S GOT BIG BLUE EYES. SHE'S SO CUTE.
AND BEN IS ALTERNATELY JUST TRYING TO LOVE HER AND KILL HER.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HE'S A LITTLE LOVE YES, HE IS.
Jimmy: LOOK AT-- LOOK AT BEN. LOOK AT HIM.
THAT'S-- THAT'S THE DAY HE MET HER, YEAH. [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
YEAH, EXACTLY. Jimmy: THAT LOOKS - AND THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE
I KNOW, IT'S SO CUTE. VERY SWEET Jimmy: I KNOW-- I KNOW
YOU'RE PALS WITH JOHN MAYER. YEAH. Jimmy: AND HE ACTUALLY
PLAYED GRATEFUL DEAD FOR BEN, AND BEN WAS DANCING. DO YOU REMEMBER?
YES, I DO REMEMBER THAT BEING A DAD AT CONCERTS, MAN I'M LIKE -
Jimmy: I GOT BUSTED HARD. I WENT TO SEE HARRY STYLES AND IT WAS NOT PRETTY.
WHY [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GOT BUSTED HOW
Jimmy: WELL, I WAS JUST DANCING. I-- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
OKAY. Jimmy: I CAN'T-- I'M TOO OLD TO DANCE
TO DANCE? Jimmy: YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT
Jimmy: AT HARRY STYLES-- I WAS EMBARRASSING MY DANCING HAS ALSO TAKEN A
A HIT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I USED TO BE, LIKE, SUPREMELY
CONFIDENT. I DANCED-- I GO-GO DANCED FOR THE B-52s ONCE, ABOUT 25 YEARS
AGO. FOR REAL, I REALLY DID Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT
AT THE UNIVERSAL AMPHITHEATER JUST FREE AND WITH ABANDON
AND NOW I GO TO CONCERTS, AND I'M LIKE, SIDE TO SIDE [ LAUGHTER ]
Jimmy: SIDE TO SIDE SIDE TO SIDE. ♪
Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I DID. IT'S SO BAD
Jimmy: IT WAS SO BAD. BUT DID YOU GET-- DID PEOPLE VIDEO YOU DANCING
Jimmy: IT WAS - OHH Jimmy: YEAH, THERE WAS A PIT
OF, LIKE, MAYBE A THOUSAND 13-YEAR-OLD GIRLS. I WAS GONNA SAY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: AND THEY ALL HAD THEIR TIKTOKS OUT.
OH, NO. Jimmy: AND I GO-- I'M ALREADY A MEME, I CAN JUST
TELL RIGHT YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: AND I FELT BAD AND AT ONE POINT, I GO, "MAYBE
I WON'T DANCE. MAYBE I'M JUST GONNA CROSS MY ARMS AND LISTEN.
RIGHT Jimmy: AND THAT WAS EVEN WORSE.
WELL, BUT THEN YOU LOOK LIKE - HARRY'S IN TROUBLE
Jimmy: SO THE BAND'S PLAYING-- YEAH.
♪ YEAH, THAT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD Jimmy: NO, IT WAS NOT FUN AT
ALL. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Jimmy: IT WAS TERRIBLE.
NO. Jimmy: YEAH ANDY, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN ON THE
SHOW, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT BRAVOCON BECAUSE YOU'VE BECOME THE
BIGGEST MEDIA MOGUL. WELL-- Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE-- YOU
REALLY ARE ANDY-- BRAVOCON - BRAVOCON--
Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE OPRAH. YOU'RE LIKE OPRAH WINFREY. BRAVOCON WAS AMAZING.
IT WAS LIKE "THE AVENGERS," YOU GUYS IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
Jimmy: WAS IT 30,000 PEOPLE 30,000 PEOPLE CAME TO NEW YORK
Jimmy: AT THE JAVITS CENTER AT THE JAVITS CENTER. Jimmy: YOU CRUSHED IT
IT WAS AWESOME. AND ACTUALLY, I'M OBSESSED WITH OPRAH'S LEGENDS BALL
SO I THREW ANDY'S LEGENDS BALL AT BRAVOCON, AND WE HAD 140 BRAVOLEBRITIES ALL ON ONE
STAGE. IT WAS AWESOME IT WAS AMAZING
Jimmy: AND EVERYONE WENT NUTS FOR EVERYBODY EVERYONE WENT NUTS.
IT WAS-- IT WAS AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER FEEL - Jimmy: YEAH
- TO BEING ELVIS, WITHOUT AUSTIN BUTLER'S ACCENT Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, YEAH "WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE," I'M
LUCKY ENOUGH, I'M GONNA BE YOUR GUEST, MONDAY NIGHT. MONDAY NIGHT YOU'RE ON.
Jimmy: YOU RECENTLY DID SOMETHING ON THE SHOW, BY THE WAY, THAT YOU'VE NEVER DONE
BEFORE YOU'VE HOSTED THE SHOW ALMOST 15 YEARS
YES Jimmy: AND YOU DID SOMETHING, AND I JUST WANT TO
SHOW EVERYONE-- OH, BOY Jimmy: THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT ANDY'S NEVER DONE BEFORE. OH, NO.
MAKE, DISTRIBUTE, OR TAG ME IN ANY [ BLEEP ]-- [ GASPS
- [ LAUGHTER ] - - "ANDY COHEN DEATH REACTION VIDEOS" YOU FREAKS
WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. ON A SIDE NOTE -
IT'S NOT FUNNY. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER DONE THAT ON THIS SHOW.
Jimmy: WOW. YOU DROPPED THE F-BOMB YEAH, I DROPPED IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: ANDY, WHAT - WHAT MADE--
WE WERE-- WE WERE LIVE I WAS ALL WHIPPED UP, BY THE WAY, FOR REAL, ABOUT THIS TREND
ON TIKTOK WHERE THEY PRANKED PEOPLE IT WAS LIKE A TREND WHERE THEY
WOULD TELL THEIR PARENTS THAT CELEBRITIES WERE DEAD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE SENDING ME VIDEOS OF PEOPLE BEING LIKE "ANDY COHEN'S DEAD.
AND I'M LIKE, DON'T SEND ME THESE VIDEOS AND TWO, THIS PRANK AIN'T
FUNNY. Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S NOT FUNNY I-- I AGREE WITH YOU.
YES, YES. Jimmy: IT'S A - SO ANYWAY, YEAH, I WAS ALL
HOPPED UP AND I DROPPED THE F-BOMB AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DROP
THE F-BOMB ON MY SHOW, BECAUSE OUR CENSOR, WHO I'VE NEVER MET, IS OVERLY AGGRESSIVE, AND THEY
BLEEP OUT, LIKE, TWO SENTENCES AT A TIME. Jimmy: WELL, I PROMISE YOU
ON MONDAY I WILL NOT SAY ONE DIRTY WORD THANK YOU
Jimmy: I PROMISE. YOU DON'T SWEAR Jimmy: I KNOW, IT'S -
YOU'RE A CLEAN TEEN Jimmy: I'M A GENTLEMAN. THAT'S WHY I LIKE YOU.
Jimmy: BOOP I GOT BOOPED [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU GOT BOOPED AGAIN. Jimmy: I GOT BOOPED AGAIN CONGRATULATIONS ON SEASON 20
MY MAN, ANDY COHEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE."
CAN I BOOP YOU Together: BOOP! Jimmy: AIRS EVERY SUNDAY
THROUGH THURSDAY - BOOP - - ON BRAVO.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM THE NATIONAL
STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
Jimmy: PERFORMING "TROPIC MORNING NEWS" FROM THEIR UPCOMING ALBUM, "FIRST TWO
PAGES OF FRANKENSTEIN," GIVE IT UP FOR THE NATIONAL! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ I WASN'T STARTING YET I DIDN'T EVEN THIN
YOU WERE LISTENING ♪ ♪ I WASN'T READY AT ALL TO SAY ANYTHING ABOU
ANYTHING INTERESTING ♪ ♪ IT'S A THING YOU HAVE YOU JUST DON'T KNO
THAT YOU DO IT ♪ ♪ YOU WAIT AROUND IN A CONVERSATION ♪
♪ WHILE I GET IN AND STAR STUMBLING THROUGH IT ♪ ♪ I WAS SO DISTRACTED THE
I DIDN'T HAVE IT STRAIGHT IN MY HEAD ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T HAVE
MY FACE ON YET ♪ ♪ OR THE ROLE OR THE FEEL OF WHERE I WAS
GOING WITH IT ALL ♪ ♪ I WAS SUFFERING MOR THAN I LET ON ♪
♪ THE TROPIC MORNIN NEWS WAS ON ♪ ♪ THERE'S NOTHING
STOPPING ME NOW ♪ ♪ FROM SAYING ALL THE PAINFUL PARTS OUT LOUD ♪
♪ GOT TO MY FEE FEELING THAT I'D LET YOU DOWN ♪
♪ I WANTED TO SAY I SLOW AND PERFECT ♪ ♪ BUT IT ALL SOMEHO
GOT SWITCHED AROUND ♪ ♪ SOMETHING WENT OF ON ITS OWN ♪
♪ MY DUMB AUTOMATIC CHIT-CHAT ♪ ♪ IT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT
TO SAY AT ALL ♪ ♪ THERE'S NO WAY YOU CA ATTACH ME TO THAT ♪
♪ GOT UP TO SEIZE THE DAY WITH MY HEAD IN MY HANDS FEELING STRANGE ♪
♪ WHEN ALL MY THINKIN GOT MANGLED ♪ ♪ AND I CAUGHT MYSELF
TALKING MYSELF OFF THE CEILING ♪ ♪ I WAS SUFFERING MOR
THAN I LET ON ♪ ♪ THE TROPIC MORNIN NEWS WAS ON ♪
♪ THERE'S NOTHING STOPPING ME NOW ♪ ♪ FROM SAYING ALL THE
PAINFUL PARTS OUT LOUD ♪ ♪ OH WHERE ARE AL OF THE MOMENTS WE'D HAVE ♪
♪ OH WHERE'S THE BRAI WE SHARED ♪ ♪ SOMETHING SOMEHOW HAS YOU
RAPIDLY IMPROVING ♪ ♪ OH WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WAVELENGTH WE WERE ON ♪
♪ OH WHERE'S TH GRAVITY GONE ♪ ♪ SOMETHING SOMEHOW HAS YOU
RAPIDLY IMPROVING ♪ ♪ ♪ YOU FOUND THE ACH
IN MY ARGUMENT ♪ ♪ YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF IT ♪
♪ YOU FOUND THE SLUSH IN MY SENTIMENT ♪ ♪ YOU MADE IT SOUND
SO INTELLIGENT ♪ ♪ YOU CAN STOP AND STAR AN ATHLETE'S HEART
HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT IT ♪ ♪ I WOULD LOVE TO HAV NOTHING TO DO WITH IT ♪
♪ I WOULD LIKE TO MOVE ON AND BE THROUGH WITH IT ♪ ♪
♪ I'LL BE OVER HERE LYING NEAR THE OCEAN MAKING OCEAN SOUNDS ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU CAN COME OVER ♪ ♪ AND WORK THE CONTROLS
FOR A WHILE ♪ ♪ I WAS SO DISTRACTED THE I DIDN'T HAVE IT
STRAIGHT IN MY HEAD ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T HAVE MY FACE ON YET ♪
♪ OR THE ROLE OR THE FEEL OF WHERE I WAS GOING WITH IT ALL ♪
♪ I WAS SUFFERING MOR THAN I LET ON ♪ ♪ THE TROPIC MORNIN
NEWS WAS ON ♪ ♪ THERE'S NOTHING STOPPING ME NOW ♪
♪ FROM SAYING ALL THE PAINFUL PARTS OUT LOUD ♪ ♪ OH WHERE ARE AL
THE MOMENTS WE'D HAVE ♪ ♪ OH WHERE'S TH BRAIN WE SHARED ♪
♪ SOMETHING SOMEHOW HAS YOU RAPIDLY IMPROVING ♪ ♪ OH WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
WAVELENGTH WE WERE ON ♪ ♪ OH WHERE'S TH GRAVITY GONE ♪
♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THE NATIONAL
"FIRST TWO PAGES OF FRANKENSTEIN" IS OUT APRIL 28th
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪
Jimmy: MY THANKS TO TESSA THOMPSON, ANDY COHEN, THE NATIONAL
APRIL 28th [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE,
FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS.
GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY THANK YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE