1 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,577 Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:14,514 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:23,890 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - WILLEM DAFOE 4 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:28,161 MARLON WAYANS, MACKLEMORE COMEDIAN KELSEY COOK 5 00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:31,231 AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW Questlove: 1804 6 00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:36,636 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:39,072 --> 00:01:05,765 ♪ ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,734 Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THAT'S A GREAT CROWD THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 9 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,836 ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 10 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:18,878 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,780 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, GUYS, THE BIG NEWS HERE IN NEW YORK CITY IS WE FINALLY 12 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,482 GOT OUR REAL FIRST SNOWFALL OF THE YEAR [ CHEERS ] 13 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:32,425 YEAH THE CITY GOT HIT HARD WITH 1.8 INCHES OF SNOW 14 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:35,395 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CYMBAL CRASH ] 1.8 INCHES 15 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,330 IS THAT REALLY A BIG DEAL? I MEAN, I SAW MORE WHITE POWDER IN "COCAINE BEAR." 16 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,898 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING I-- 17 00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,867 Steve: OH WHOA Jimmy: YEAH, WE ONLY GOT 18 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,502 1.8 INCHES, BUT EVERY METEOROLOGIST WAS OUTSIDE PRETENDING THEY WERE BRAVING 19 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,903 THE STORM LIKE, "IT'S A BLIZZARD OUT HERE, HODA. [ LAUGHTER ] 20 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:48,174 PEOPLE PLAYING BEACH VOLLEYBALL BEHIND THEM. [ LAUGHTER ] 21 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:53,413 SOME POLITICAL NEWS. TODAY, FLORIDA GOVERNOR RON DeSANTIS RELEASED HIS 22 00:01:53,413 --> 00:02:02,622 AUTOBIOGRAPHY, "THE COURAGE TO BE FREE. THE BOOK IS ALREADY A NUMBER 23 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:06,092 ONE BESTSELLER, ESPECIALLY IN FLORIDA, WHERE IT'S LITERALLY THE ONLY BOOK ON THE SHELF 24 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,062 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING HERE IN THE BOOK, DeSANTIS ADMITS 25 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:13,633 THAT HE ACTUALLY GOT MARRIED AT DISNEY WORLD Steve: OOH. 26 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,470 [ AUDIENCE OOHS Jimmy: SERIOUSLY. THAT'S LIKE FINDING OUT 27 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,105 BERNIE SANDERS GOT MARRIED IN JEFF BEZOS' BACKYARD IT'S LIKE, COME ON 28 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,408 [ LAUGHTER ] AND GET THIS, FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP CRITICIZED FOX 29 00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:30,250 NEWS FOR PROMOTING RON DeSANTIS "SO HARD AND SO MUCH." [ LAUGHTER ] 30 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,118 AT THIS POINT, TRUMPS WATCHING FOX FEELS LIKE YOUR FRIEND WHO CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THEIR 31 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:38,091 EX'S INSTAGRAM [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE, "OH, SHE NEVER LIKED 32 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,960 THAT THAT'S INTERESTING." [ LAUGHTER ] 33 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,697 "OH, LOOKS LIKE SHE'S HAVING REAL FUN THERE." [ LAUGHTER ] 34 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,565 MEANWHILE, A NEW COURT FILING SHOWS THAT FOX CHAIRMAN, RUPERT MURDOCH, ADMITTED SOME 35 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:47,000 OF THE NETWORK'S HOSTS ENDORSED FALSE CLAIMS ABOUT THE 2020 ELECTION. 36 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,702 TODAY, FOX NEWS PROMISED TO FOCUS ON REAL ISSUES THEN INTRODUCED THEIR NEWEST HOST, 37 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:55,742 DILBERT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ SCATTERED APPLAUSE ] 38 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:59,346 THANK YOU. GOT IT UP THERE? THEY GOT IT UP THERE 39 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:08,421 [ APPLAUSE ] THESE ARE PRETTY TENSE TIMES FOR FOX NEWS, ALTHOUGH EVERYONE 40 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:09,923 IS REMAINING CALM BY REPEATING THIS MANTRA. "AT LEAST WE'RE NOT CNN, AT 41 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,925 LEAST WE'RE NOT CNN, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT-- SOME MORE NEWS 42 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,827 FOLLOWING A REPORT FROM THE ENERGY DEPARTMENT THAT SAID COVID MIGHT HAVE COME FROM A 43 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:19,566 A CHINESE LAB LEAK, THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED THAT THERE IS NO GOVERNMENT 44 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,468 CONSENSUS ON HOW THE VIRUS STARTED. IT'S NEVER GOOD WHEN THE 45 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,169 GOVERNMENT'S REPORT ON A A PANDEMIC IS JUST THE SHRUG EMOJI. 46 00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:31,578 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF WE AGREE ON HOW THE PANDEMIC 47 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,446 STARTED. THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE ALL AGREED TO PRETEND IT'S OVER. 48 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:38,251 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, LISTEN TO THIS I READ THAT THE WHITE HOUSE IS 49 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:42,422 GIVING FEDERAL AGENCIES 30 DAYS TO REMOVE TIKTOK FROM ALL GOVERNMENT DEVICES 50 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:44,124 EVERY GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE WAS LIKE, "I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE" AND GAVE THEIR BOSS 51 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:48,528 30 DAYS NOTICE [ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS DEVASTATING. 52 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,497 I MEAN, WHAT IS TIKTOK WITHOUT SENATOR CHUCK GRASSLEY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 53 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:59,773 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS I SAW THAT WENDY'S IS GOING TO 54 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,642 START SELLING THEIR CHILI IN A A CAN AT GROCERY STORES. [ AUDIENCE GROANS 55 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,211 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S PERFECT IF YOU'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THE CHILI AT WENDY'S 56 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:08,081 WAS TOO FRESH. [ LAUGHTER ] UNDER INGREDIENTS, IT JUST SAYS 57 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:12,352 "IGNORANCE IS BLISS. [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, YOU GUYS SEE THIS 58 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:14,120 A MAN IN CALIFORNIA FILED A LAWSUIT CLAIMING THAT HE WON THE $2 BILLION POWERBALL 59 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,157 LOTTERY, BUT THE TICKET WAS STOLEN FROM HIM. THEN A MILLION AMERICANS WERE 60 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:25,265 LIKE "YEAH, ALREADY TRIED IT, PAL. I MEAN, COME ON. 61 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,801 [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I ALSO LOST A BAG OF DIAMONDS, TOO. 62 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,402 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH EXPERTS SAY HIS ODDS OF WINNING 63 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:32,572 THE LAWSUIT ARE 300 MILLION TO 1 [ LAUGHTER ] 64 00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:35,075 WELL, GUYS TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF FEBRUARY, SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD 65 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:38,144 BE NICE TO GIVE A LITTLE RECAP OF THE ENTIRE MONTH. Steve: OH 66 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:50,824 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ FEBRUARY CAME AND WEN THE SHORTEST MONTH 67 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:54,127 BUT I FEEL SPENT ♪ ♪ 28 DAYS GONE SO SOO KIND OF LIKE 68 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:58,498 THE CHINESE SPY BALLOON [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ GRAMMYS BAFTA 69 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:02,302 OSCAR NOMS TOP GUN DID IT ♪ ♪ GOOD FOR TO 70 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,038 WHETHER OR NOT YOU WIN THAT BLING ♪ ♪ ANGELA BASSETT DID THE 71 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:09,042 THING ♪ [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ SUPER BOWL WO 72 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,044 BY THE CHIEF EAGLES FANS WERE FILLED WITH GRIEF ♪ 73 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,047 ♪ RIHANNA'S HALFTIM WE WERE LOVING SHE DID IT WITH A 74 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,617 BUN IN THE OVEN [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ BIDEN GAV 75 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:20,253 HIS BIG ADDRES STATE OF THE UNION IN CONGRESS ♪ 76 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,856 ♪ REPUBLICANS SHOUTED FROM THEIR CHAIR ANGRIER THAN A ♪ 77 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,793 COCAINE BEAR. [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ VALENTINE'S DID 78 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:29,329 NOT GO GREAT YOU GOT STOOD UP BY YOUR DATE ♪ 79 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,165 ♪ TINDER TELLS YO THAT YOU SHOUL THINK ABOUT ♪ 80 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:38,271 RETIRING FOR GOOD [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ MARVEL'S QUANTUMANI 81 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,675 LAST OF US OUTER BANKS-IA ♪ ♪ WE WATCHED THEM ALL 82 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,177 EXCEPT OUR AUNTS WHO WERE DROOLING OVER ♪ "MAGIC MIKE, THE LAST 83 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:49,749 DANCE. ♪ FEBRUARY YOU SHORT KING HERE COMES MARCH 84 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,719 IT'S TIME FOR SPRING ♪ ♪ WE'LL LOSE MONE ON OUR BRACKET 85 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:55,755 THEN GET TRASHED ON ST. PATRICK'S ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 86 00:05:55,755 --> 00:06:01,895 ♪ AND FINALLY, GUYS. IT IS TUESDAY. 87 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:07,334 IT IS TIME FOR "WETWEET. HERE WE GO 88 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:15,041 ♪ WETWEET WETWEET ♪ Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WELCOME TO 89 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,643 "WETWEET." THIS IS WHERE WE AS A GROUP DECIDE SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULD 90 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:25,051 POST ON TWITTER. I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU FIVE DIFFERENT TWEETS AND WE'RE ALL 91 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,786 GOING TO VOTE ON WHETHER YOU LIKE EACH ONE OR NOT YOU ALL HAVE VOTING CLICKERS AT 92 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,222 YOUR SEATS DO YOU ALL HAVE THEM ALL RIGHT, VERY GOOD 93 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:33,059 YEP, THEY'RE GREEN AND RED GREEN IS FOR GO. RED IS FOR STOP. 94 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,462 YOU LIKE GREEN GOOD RED, YOU DON'T LIKE IT 95 00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:39,232 IT'S FINE. YOU CAN VOTE FOR ALL OF THEM YOU CAN VOTE FOR NONE OF THEM. 96 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,967 WHATEVER YOU WANT, WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE RESULTS LIVE. HIGGINS, ROOTS, YOU HAVE 97 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,669 CLICKERS, TOO? Steve: GOT IT Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER 98 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,637 TWEET GETS THE MOST LIKES, WE WILL TWEET IT OUT LIVE ON THE SHOW SO THAT YOU CAN ALL LIKE 99 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:52,846 IT AND WETWEET IT. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE A SHARED EXPERIENCE. 100 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:56,449 ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THIS [ CHEERS ] 101 00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,251 THE FIRST TWEET IS, "ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO RANDOMLY JUST FACETIME THEIR FRIENDS: NOBODY 102 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,254 LIKES IT." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WOW. 103 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:07,694 ALL RIGHT, VERY GOOD [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN ALREADY-- 104 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:09,362 Steve: YEAH, YOU CAN TELL IT'S A BIG ONE Jimmy: I CAN ALREADY TELL 105 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,097 YOU, THE ROOT-- THE BAND DIDN'T PLAY. NO ONE CARED 106 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,932 YEAH, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO VOTE ON THIS ONE I THINK I COULD SEE THE-- 107 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,035 THE VOTES ARE IN LET'S JUST LOOK AT THE RESULTS [ DRUM ROLL 108 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:20,473 NOT GOING TO BE GOOD YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT ONE 109 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,877 ALL RIGHT, NO PROBLEM. NO PROBLEM Steve: HOW MANY-- 110 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,379 Jimmy: I GUESS PEOPLE LIKE FACETIMING PEOPLE. Steve: YEAH, THEY LOVE IT 111 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,549 Jimmy: YEAH THIS NEXT ONE SAYS, "EVERY TIME I PUT ON A PILLOWCASE, I GET A 112 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,051 A HORRIFYING FLASHBACK TO WHEN SKINNY JEANS WERE A THING. [ LAUGHTER ] 113 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:38,858 ♪ IT'S LIKE, "WAIT, AM I-- AM I WEARING MY WIFE'S JEANS? 114 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,160 WHAT IS THIS THEY'LL STRETCH OUT IN 20 MINUTES." 115 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,796 ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. I THINK THIS ONE WILL BE BETTER 116 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,064 THAN THAT ONE. LET'S SEE. [ DRUM ROLL 117 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,833 Steve: OH Jimmy: YEAH, NOT BAD. ♪ 118 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,235 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. Steve: COME ON. 119 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,904 Jimmy: AGAIN, I WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE THESE DON'T NECESSARILY GET BETTER 120 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,739 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 121 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,774 THE NEXT ONE SAYS, "IS DASANI THE COORS LIGHT OF WATER OR IS COORS LIGHT THE DASANI OF 122 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:56,676 BEERS? [ LAUGHTER ] Steve: WOW. 123 00:07:56,676 --> 00:08:01,247 THAT GOT A GROAN ♪ Jimmy: YEAH, THEY LIKE THAT 124 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:02,582 ONE. Steve: THIS ONE'S GONNA GET HIGH 125 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,852 Jimmy: THAT ONE PEOPLE ENJOYED, I THINK ♪ 126 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,021 VERY NICE. LET'S SEE THE RESULTS OVER HERE 127 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,123 [ DRUM ROLL Steve: HEY! Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M 128 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,727 TALKING ABOUT. ALL RIGHT, SO NOW WE KNOW THE CLICKERS WORK. 129 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,628 Steve: 155. Jimmy: NOW I KNOW IT WORKS. YEAH, HERE WE GO 130 00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,098 [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT UP, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? IT SAYS, "IF YOU NEED TO CANCEL 131 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,866 AN UBER BUT WANT TO AVOID THE CANCELLATION FEE, JUST TEXT THE DRIVER, 'CAN'T WAIT TO SEE 132 00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:25,538 YOU!'" [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ 133 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:29,242 "I CAN'T WAIT. Steve: "OH, YEAH. Jimmy: "OH, I'M SO EXCITED. 134 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,211 YEAH." [ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 135 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:35,582 VOTES ARE IN LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. I FEEL GOOD ON THIS ONE. 136 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:39,419 Steve: YEAH [ DRUM ROLL [ CHEERS ] 137 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:42,455 ♪ Jimmy: OH Steve: WHOA 138 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,257 Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE SAYS, "I BET THE PHRASE, 'THAT COSTS AN ARM AND A LEG' HAS A PRETTY 139 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:53,733 GOOD STORY BEHIND IT." ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. CAST YOUR VOTES. 140 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,803 ♪ I THINK WE KNOW WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE. 141 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,872 Steve: I THINK WE KNOW IT TOO. Jimmy: I THINK IT'S UBER ALL 142 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,041 THE WAY, BUT LET'S SEE I DON'T KNOW I COULD BE WRONG 143 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,009 I THINK I KNOW THE AUDIENCE. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. WE'RE DONE VOTING. 144 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:06,513 ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. [ DRUM ROLL 145 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,148 THERE YOU GO Steve: OH Jimmy: THE WINNER IS FOR 146 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,916 UBER THAT'S THE ONE [ BELL DINGING ] 147 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,852 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I'M GOING TO POST THIS DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK 148 00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:16,356 IF YOU SEE IT ON YOUR FEED, GIVE IT A LIKE GIVE IT A WETWEET AND ENJOY. 149 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,258 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 150 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:18,291 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 151 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:32,739 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 152 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,809 Jimmy: EVERYBODY, I JUST WANT TO QUICKLY MENTION THAT NEXT TUESDAY-- 153 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:40,513 Steve: TUESDAY. Jimmy: A WEEK FROM TODAY, NEXT TUESDAY, MARCH 7th. 154 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,148 ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT IS THE SEASON PREMIERE OF MY SHOW, "THAT'S MY JAM." 155 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,451 ♪ Steve: WHOA Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I'M 156 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,187 TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BEARD. 157 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,923 Steve: BEARD. YEAH Jimmy: THE BEARD. 158 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,360 I GLUE IT ON EVERY NIGHT Steve: HAIR BY HAIR Jimmy: I GLUE ON THE BEARD 159 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,761 AND THE HAIR EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. IT-- IT AIRS AT 10:00 P.M. 160 00:09:54,761 --> 00:10:04,004 AFTER "THE VOICE," SO JUST STAY IN YOUR HOUSE FROM 8:00 TO 11:00. 161 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,106 Steve: YEAH Jimmy: DON'T DO ANYTHING. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 162 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,274 PLAN YOUR PARTY NOW. YOU GOT A WEEK-- Steve: YEAH 163 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,677 Jimmy:-- TO A JAM PARTY. HAVE A "VOICE/JAM" PARTY Steve: YEAH 164 00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,545 Jimmy: EVERYONE GET TOGETHER WE HAVE JASON DERULO IS ON THE 165 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,614 SHOW Steve: OOH. Jimmy: JULIA MICHAELS 166 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,017 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE KELSEA BALLERINI NICOLE SCHERZINGER, BY THE WAY 167 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,753 Steve: OH Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 168 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,621 WE KNOW HER AS THE JUDGE ON "MASKED SINGER," BUT ALSO, SHE'S ACTUALLY AN AMAZING 169 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,923 SINGER SHE DOES THIS VERSION OF CELINE DION THAT YOU'LL BE 170 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:28,261 TALKING ABOUT THE NEXT DAY ANYWAY, IT'S A GREAT SHOW. NEXT TUESDAY, MARCH 7th ON 171 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:35,268 10:00-- 10:00 P.M. ON NBC [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 172 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,170 NEXT DAY ON PEACOCK. "THAT'S MY JAM." WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU 173 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,606 TONIGHT. HE STARS IN THE NEW FILM, "INSIDE," WHICH OPENS IN 174 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:48,181 THEATERS EVERYWHERE MARCH 17th WILLEM DAFOE IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 175 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:51,885 Jimmy: ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUESTS A VERY FUNNY HUMAN BEING 176 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,620 HIS NEW STAND-UP SPECIAL, "MARLON WAYANS: GOD LOVES ME," PREMIERES THURSDAY ON HBO MAX. 177 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:59,225 MARLON WAYANS IS JOINING US TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 178 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:03,863 Jimmy: PLUS, HIS NEW ALBUM, "BEN," COMES OUT THIS FRIDAY FOUR-TIME GRAMMY WINNER 179 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:09,269 MACKLEMORE IS HERE TONIGHT Steve: WHOA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 180 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:13,807 Jimmy: "BEN" IS OUT THIS FRIDAY AND WE GOT GREAT STAND-UP FROM 181 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:17,477 KELSEY COOK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COMING BACK TO THE SHOW 182 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,346 TONIGHT, "THE HUSTLER. STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 183 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,980 WILLEM DAFOE, EVERYBODY. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 184 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:31,791 ♪ >>> IT'S LIKE, "QUESTLOVE, WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE?" 185 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,094 AND IT AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM LIKE, ONE NIGHT, IT WAS ME, 186 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:37,364 DAVE CHAPPELLE, CHRIS ROCK, ALL OF US ON STAGE AND I LOOK ON STAGE AND I'M 187 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:41,401 LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL IS QUESTLOVE DOING HERE?" 188 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,104 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU LOOK THROUGH HISTORY YOU ARE THE BLACK FORREST GUMP 189 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,650 A FOUR-TIME OSCAR-NOMINATED ACTOR STARRING IN THE NEW FILM "INSIDE," WHICH OPENS IN 190 00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:04,524 THEATR PLEASE WELCOME WILLEM DAFOE. 191 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:19,773 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ OH, MY GOSH 192 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:23,910 Jimmy: WILLEM DAFOE VERY NICE Jimmy: THEY LOVE YOU. 193 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,545 THANK YOU Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING BACK ON THE SHOW 194 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,081 YEAH, MY PLEASURE MY PLEASURE. Jimmy: YOU DO LOOK GOOD 195 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,383 WHAT IS THE-- I DON'T LOOK GOOD Jimmy: NO, YOU DO LOOK GOOD 196 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,652 THIS IS FOR A MOVIE, IT'S NOT FOR LIFE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 197 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:40,193 I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I SEE JOE STALIN [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 198 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:44,097 Jimmy: NO WHEN I LOOK TO THE SIDE, I SEE A '70s BIKER 199 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,100 Jimmy: YEAH YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE THAT. BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT ITS FOR 200 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,602 IT'S LIKE-- Jimmy: YOU'VE NEVER GROWN FACIAL HAIR JUST FOR FUN 201 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:56,710 NO, I HAVE. BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF A DRAG 202 00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:59,879 WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, WHEN YOU GREW HAIR FOR A ROLE, IT WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL. 203 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:04,050 NOW IT'S IN VOGUE, YOU KNOW. Jimmy: OH, YEAH AND IT'S ALMOST COOLER TO BE 204 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,453 CLEAN SHAVEN Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE THAT. 205 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,421 YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S 206 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,156 WHY I DID IT I DON'T GO FOR THE BEARD. Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DIDN'T GO 207 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:11,925 FOR IT NO, NO. Jimmy: I TRIED TO DO THE 208 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,860 BEARD, I JUST FIGURED I NEVER TRIED IT I NEVER ACTUALLY TRIED IT AND 209 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,596 REALLY MEANT TO TRY IT YEAH, IT LOOKED GOOD, BUT IT AIN'T YOU. 210 00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:22,302 Jimmy: THANK YOU, BUDDY I APPRECIATE THAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 211 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,471 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I LIKE THAT, I TRIED IT AND IT WASN'T ME. 212 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,239 YEAH OH, YEAH. Jimmy: NO, THIS IS MORE ME. 213 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,174 YEAH. Jimmy: YEAH Jimmy: BUT YOU CAN BE A 214 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:30,276 A CHAMELEON. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN DO THAT. 215 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,145 YOU'RE ALWAYS DIFFERENT IN ALL THE LOOKS. YEAH. 216 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,114 Jimmy: BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING GOOD YEAH, THANKS. 217 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,282 Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR THANK YOU 218 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,251 Jimmy: LAST TIME WE WERE ON THE SHOW WE TALKED ABOUT "SPIDER-MAN. 219 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,754 UH, HUH Jimmy: AND HOW IT'S MADE OVER, YOU KNOW, $150 BILLION, 220 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:43,289 SOMETHING CRAZY. AMAZING. BUT WE ALL LOVE YOU AS 221 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,258 GREEN GOBLIN RIGHT Jimmy: FAN FAVORITE, 222 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,427 EVERYONE LOVES YOU GREAT. YEAH 223 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,195 YEAH, OF COURSE. [ CHEERS ] Jimmy: BUT-- 224 00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,730 BUT - Jimmy: BUT, THERE IS A THING GOING AROUND ONLINE THAT I WAS 225 00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:56,403 LOOKING AT THAT EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO PLAY A DIFFERENT-- THEY WANTED YOU TO PLAY JOKER. 226 00:13:56,403 --> 00:14:00,340 HASN'T THAT BEEN DONE [ CHEERS ] Jimmy: NO, BUT I MEAN - 227 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,308 YOU KNOW, TALK TO WARNER BROTHERS. Jimmy: REALLY 228 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,611 I'LL TALK TO-- I'LL TALK TO WARNER BROTHERS. ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING? 229 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,880 HELLO? I FLOATED AN IDEA A WHILE AGO BUT IT DIDN'T QUITE HAPPEN, 230 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:11,251 SO Jimmy: WHAT WAS THE IDEA? COULD YOU SAY IT OR NO 231 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,053 YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T REALLY FLOAT IT TO THEM I JUST MENTIONED IT IN AN 232 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,055 INTERVIEW AND THEN IT KIND OF WENT OUT ON THE INTERNET BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL 233 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:25,598 FOR ME TO PLAY AN IMPOSTER LIKE SLIP STREAMING HIS THING. Jimmy: OH, YEAH, LIKE I'M 234 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,368 THE NEW JOKER. I'M JOKER. Jimmy: YEAH AND JOAQUIN CAN 235 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,705 BE LIKE "OH, YEAH, I LOVE THIS." YEAH, THAT WOULD BE COOL. 236 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,441 Jimmy: YES, YOU CAN DO THAT BUT, BUT, WE'RE - [ CHEERS ] 237 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,543 WE'RE DOING-- Jimmy: IDEA WE'RE DOING OTHER THINGS. 238 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,078 Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE DOING OTHER THINGS YOU KNOW, IT'S AWARD SEASON NOW 239 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,080 AND I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR IT HOW MANY OSCARS NOW? 240 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:47,987 FOUR. Jimmy: YEAH, NO BIG DEAL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 241 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:49,656 DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU GOT NOMINATED? THE FIRST TIME I REMEMBER 242 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:54,994 REALLY WELL. BECAUSE IT WASN'T AS DEVELOPED YOU KNOW, THE CAMPAIGNING AND 243 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,297 ALL THAT SORT OF THING Jimmy: YEAH AND MY SON'S BABYSITTER 244 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:11,044 CALLED ME UP TO TELL ME I WAS NOMINATED. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 245 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,746 I MEAN, AND BY THE TIME-- THE SECOND TIME, YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BARELY SLEEP THE NIGHT 246 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,048 BEFORE BECAUSE YOU WERE AWARE THAT THE NOMINATIONS WERE COMING OUT. 247 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:18,485 SO, IT'S BECOME MUCH MORE DEVELOPED. Jimmy: WHAT WAS IT FOR? 248 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:22,055 "PLATOON"? WAS THAT THE FIRST ONE THE FIRST ONE WAS "PLATOON. 249 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,190 SECOND ONE WAS FOR SOMETHING CALLED "SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE. THIRD WAS - 250 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,660 Jimmy: GEEZ FOR "THE FLORIDA PROJECT," AND FOURTH WAS FOR "AT 251 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:31,064 ETERNITY'S GATE. Jimmy: AND DO YOU GET NERVOUS WHEN YOU - 252 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,566 'CAUSE NOW YOU'RE NOMINATED AND YOU GO, "OKAY. AND YOU GO, LIKE, "I GOT A 253 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:41,675 A SHOT." YOU KNOW. Jimmy: IS IT FUN OR - 254 00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:43,643 IT BECOMES A GAME AND YOU DO, YOU KNOW, YOU DO YOUR BEST TO THROW YOUR HAT IN THE RING 255 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,712 AND TRY TO WIN IF YOU'RE COMPETITIVE, IT'S KIND OF FUN. 256 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:50,083 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S-- I'LL SAY IT. I'LL SAY IT. 257 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:53,920 YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR IT. IT'S NICE TO BE NOMINATED. Jimmy: THERE YOU GO 258 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,423 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE ACTUALLY SAID IT. Jimmy: HE ACTUALLY SAID IT. 259 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,391 GOOD BUT IS IT-- I THINK IT MUST BE FUN. 260 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:01,895 BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING THIS YEAR. Jimmy: NEXT YEAR. 261 00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:04,631 NEXT YEAR. NEXT YEAR IT'S HAPPENING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW 262 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,401 MOVIE, "INSIDE." YEAH, SURE. Jimmy: IT'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL 263 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:13,239 DRAMA. AND IT'S PRETTY MUCH YOU ON THE SCREEN FOR TWO HOURS ALMOST. 264 00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,409 AND YOU'RE FANTASTIC IN IT THANK YOU Jimmy: YOU'RE GETTING GREAT 265 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,111 REVIEWS. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THEM BUT I'M GONNA SAY 266 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,146 THEM NO, GO AHEAD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 267 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,649 I'LL GO LIKE THIS. Jimmy: YEAH, PERFECT. "DEADLINE" SAYS, "WILLEM DAFOE 268 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,084 DELIVERS A TOUR DE FORCE PERFORMANCE. TOUR DE FORCE. 269 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:27,754 [ APPLAUSE ] OOH, FRENCH. "COLLIDER" SAYS "EVERYTHING IS 270 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,556 GLUED TOGETHER BY ANOTHER DEFOE PERFORMANCE THAT PROVES HE'S ONE OF THE GREATEST ACTORS OF 271 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:37,430 ALL TIME." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOT TOO SHABBY 272 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,800 COME ON! THANK YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU. 273 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,769 Jimmy: THAT IS NOT TOO SHABBY OH, YEAH, I HAVE THIS HERE 274 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:47,240 HOW-- [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, I FOUND THESE. 275 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,209 I FORGOT I HAD THEM. AH, YOU Jimmy: THERE YOU GO 276 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,311 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS ] Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE I CAN 277 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,547 PLAY YOUR-- YEAH. Jimmy: I CAN PLAY YOUR 278 00:16:54,547 --> 00:17:04,190 BROTHER IN THE MOVIE YEAH. Jimmy: RIGHT? 279 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,693 COME ON DOWN. Jimmy: I WILL, YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 280 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,461 WE'LL GO WORK ON IT TOGETHER CAN WE SET UP THE PREMISE OF THIS MOVIE 281 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,864 SURE. THIS PREMISE IS GREAT-- Jimmy: IT'S COOL. 282 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,499 AND IT'S REALLY SIMPLE, FOR ONCE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 283 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:17,537 YOU KNOW, I PLAY AN ART THIEF THAT IS BREAKING INTO A PENTHOUSE IN NEW YORK. 284 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:22,676 THIS PLACE HAS A LOT OF PRICELESS ART AND I HACK INTO THE SECURITY SYSTEM. 285 00:17:22,676 --> 00:17:29,449 I GO TO TAKE THREE EGON SCHIELE PAINTINGS. I GO THERE 286 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,619 I GET IN I'M READY TO GO. I HACK OUT AND THE SYSTEM GOES 287 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:36,890 AWRY AND CLOSES ME IN. Jimmy: YEAH, THE ALARMS GO OFF. 288 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:41,261 AND NOBODY COMES. I'M STUCK THERE. THE COPS DON'T COME. 289 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,329 THE OWNER DOESN'T COME ALL THE SMART SYSTEMS IN THE HOUSE OF THIS REAL HIGH-TECH 290 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:50,970 HOUSE GO WACKY AND I GOT TO SURVIVE THERE. AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M EVER 291 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,073 GOING TO GET OUT AND THE GUY HASN'T BEEN THERE FOR AWHILE 292 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:57,811 SO I GOT TO DEAL WITH FOOD I GOT TO DEAL WITH WATER AND THEN WITH TIME, I START TO 293 00:17:57,811 --> 00:18:02,148 DEAL WITH THE ART AND DEAL WITH BEING THERE. AND IT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE 294 00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:06,519 THERE'S A VERY STRONG NARRATIVE PLOT LINE OF HE'S GOT TO DEAL WITH THESE THINGS. 295 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,889 Jimmy: YEAH AND YOU, KIND OF, YOU KIND OF FIGURE IT OUT WITH HIM. 296 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,525 BUT, AT THE SAME TIME., THERE'S A LOT OF INTERESTING THINGS THAT ARE RAISED ABOUT OUR 297 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:17,864 RELATIONSHIP TO ART AND LUXURY AND WHAT WE NEED AND WHAT'S IMPORTANT. 298 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,700 SO IT'S PRETTY COOL CONSIDERING IT WORKS ON AT LEAST TWO LEVELS 299 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:25,839 Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH I WAS-- I WAS, WHEN I WAS WATCHING I'D GO, "WHAT WOULD I 300 00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:29,242 DO IF I WAS IN THAT POSITION?" WELL, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. 301 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,411 Jimmy: AND EVERYONE BAILS ON YOU. AND EVERYONE WHO PLANNED IT OUT 302 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:35,148 AND YOU GO - WELL, YOU GOT TO-- Jimmy: YOU'RE BY YOURSELF 303 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,217 YOU GOT TO DEAL WITH YOURSELF, YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO DEAL WITH YOURSELF 304 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,519 AND YOU GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU NEED THAT'S ALL. 305 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,388 Jimmy: YOU GUYS' GOTTA WATCH THIS, IT'S GREAT I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. 306 00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:44,924 HERE IS WILLEM DAFOE IN "INSIDE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 307 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:44,958 "INSIDE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 308 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:57,871 AND LOOK FOR A GUY NAMED DANNY C. 309 00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:00,840 HE'S USUALLY NEAR THE BASKETBALL COURTS. HE'S USUALLY THERE IN THE LATE 310 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:08,915 AFTERNOON. TELL HIM THAT I'M STUCK HERE 311 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:26,266 ALL MESSED UP. DO THAT FOR ME 312 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,571 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 313 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,541 COME ON. WILLEM DAFOE, EVERYBODY. GO SEE "INSIDE" IN THEATERS 314 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,577 MARCH 17th MARLON WAYANS JOINS US AFTER THE BREAK. 315 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:47,420 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 316 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,323 Jimmy: YOU LOOK GREAT, PAL. YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL GREAT AND BEFORE-- AND 317 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:55,295 I APPRECIATE THAT. BEFORE WE START, I JUST WANT TO SAY THE SUIT IS GUCCI. 318 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,064 Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT STUFF BUT THE SOCKS ARE NIKE DRY 319 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,433 FIT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 320 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:06,339 Jimmy: SEE, HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT. SEE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 321 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:23,690 ABOUT. DRY FIT. Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS 322 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:28,628 A VERY TALENTED ACTOR AND COMEDIAN HIS NEW STAND-UP SPECIAL CALLED 323 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:33,099 "MARLON WAYANS: GOD LOVES ME" PREMIERES THURSDAY ON HBO MAX. 324 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:36,002 EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME MARLON WAYANS. 325 00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:37,570 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 326 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:52,886 ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON, BUD 327 00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:55,188 THANK YOU Jimmy: MARLON WAYANS. THANK YOU 328 00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:57,924 Jimmy: LOOKING GOOD, BUD. AS ALWAYS, LOOKING GOOD. I'M FAN GIRLING RIGHT NOW 329 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,960 I JUST GOT A PEEK OF WILLEM DAFOE I DIDN'T GET TO MEET HIM, BUT I 330 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,396 GOT TO SEE HIM Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO. 331 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:08,301 HE HAS LIKE ONE OF THE MOST DISTINCT FACES Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 332 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:11,571 ALTHOUGH WITH THE MUSTACHE, HE LOOKS LIKE PROFESSOR HINKLE FROM "FROSTY THE SNOWMAN." 333 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,507 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT HE JUST ALWAYS, LIKE, I KNEW HE WAS GREEN GOBLIN EVEN 334 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:25,118 WITH THE MASK ON HE HAS A VERY DISTINCT FACE. Jimmy: YEAH, YOU JUST KNEW 335 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:29,389 IT WAS HIM [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, EVEN IF HE HAD PLAYED 336 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:32,892 SPIDERMAN WITH THE MASK-- Jimmy: YEAH, YOU KNOW YOU LOOK GREAT, BUD. 337 00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,961 THANK YOU, MAN. Jimmy: IS THIS TRUE YOU TURNED 50? 338 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,396 YEAH, YOU KNOW THAT BLACK DON'T CRACK UNLESS YOU SMOKE IT 339 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,798 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ LET'S BE CLEAR, JIMMY, I TURNED 340 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,667 BLACK 50 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT IS BLACK 50 341 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:43,703 OH, IT'S DIFFERENT THAN WHITE 50 IT'S - 342 00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:45,505 [ LAUGHTER ] BLACK 50 IS LIKE-- WE, LIKE, 25 IN THE FACE, AND LIKE, 82 IN 343 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:52,012 THE PROSTATE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN [ LAUGHTER ] 344 00:21:52,012 --> 00:21:59,019 WHITE 50 LOOK LIKE IT HURT [ LAUGHTER ] OH, MY GOD 345 00:21:59,019 --> 00:22:05,258 I SEE MY WHITE FRIENDS' 50, I JUST HUG THEM LIKE, "YOU AIN'T GOING TO MAKE IT TO 51." 346 00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:08,094 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU GOT TO CELEBRATE IT THOUGH WITH YOUR SON. 347 00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:14,200 I JUST CELEBRATED HIS 21st, WHICH WAS AWESOME. Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? 348 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,969 YEAH, SO I FLEW INTO MIAMI, AND WE WAS GOING TO PARTY ALL DAY. 349 00:22:15,969 --> 00:22:20,073 AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS DOWN FOR IT SO I FLEW IN AND WE WENT TO 350 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:25,679 CLUB 11 FOR BREAKFAST, WHICH IS A STRIP CLUB SO - 351 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:27,647 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND 21 352 00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:29,549 AND THEN THAT NIGHT WE WENT TO LIVE, AND I GET A TEXT FROM MY SON AT LIKE 2:00 AND HE'S LIKE, 353 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:38,158 "WE OUT. I WAS THERE UNTIL 7:00 IN THE MORNING. 354 00:22:38,158 --> 00:22:42,729 I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE OF US TURNED 50. [ LAUGHTER ] 355 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:45,365 Jimmy: KIDS DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT LATE ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW. 356 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:49,536 I'M LIKE, YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB WHY ARE YOU GOING HOME [ LAUGHTER ] 357 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,504 Jimmy: THAT'S WILD, THOUGH. THAT'S CRAZY YEAH. 358 00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,173 Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING? I JUST DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO 359 00:22:53,173 --> 00:22:56,309 STAY OUT THAT LATE ANYMORE THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE RICH, JIMMY. 360 00:22:56,309 --> 00:22:59,112 [ LAUGHTER ] RICH PEOPLE JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP JUST TO COUNT THEIR 361 00:22:59,112 --> 00:23:01,448 MONEY. "I DON'T NEED TO GO OUT, WE'LL BRING OUT IN." 362 00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:07,654 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: BRING OUT IN SPEAKING OF RICH, LISTEN. 363 00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:12,792 I'M HOSTING-- I'M GUEST HOSTING "THE DAILY SHOW" AND I NEED A GUEST 364 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:20,800 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND I FIGURE YOU OWE ME LIKE 12, RIGHT 365 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,838 BECAUSE I COME ON THIS SHOW, AND I GIVE YOU A BREAK YOU JUST BE LIKE - 366 00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:30,076 [ LAUGHTER ] AND I JUST SIT HERE AND I BLAP, BLAP, BLAP, BLAP, BLAP, BLAP 367 00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:36,082 BECAUSE SOME GUESTS, IT'S LIKE PULLING TEETH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 368 00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:38,485 I'M LIKE, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. YOUR PART, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO 369 00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:42,222 ASK QUESTIONS. I'LL BE LIKE THIS-- [ LAUGHTER ] 370 00:23:42,222 --> 00:23:45,325 YEAH, GIVE IT UP FOR MARLON WAYANS. Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 371 00:23:45,325 --> 00:23:47,193 ABOUT? I NEED A GUEST. SO I NEED YOU TO COME ON "THE 372 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:50,430 DAILY SHOW," AND LET ME INTERVIEW YOU. WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 373 00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:55,535 YOU. I WANT TO KNOW WHY HAVEN'T YOU LET ME COME TO THE HAMPTONS. 374 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:58,104 I WANT TO KNOW - [ LAUGHTER ] HOW COME YOU HANG WITH THE 375 00:23:58,104 --> 00:24:02,542 BROTHER FROM THE "HAMILTON," BUT I CAN'T BE IN A POOL WITH YOU? 376 00:24:02,542 --> 00:24:07,547 WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS 377 00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:09,315 IN A POOL WITH THE DUDE FROM "HAMILTON? I WAS GOING TO-- I WAS 378 00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:12,919 PERSONALLY GOING TO REACH OUT, AND TALK TO YOU RIGHT? AND INVITE YOU ON TO BE MY 379 00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:18,158 GUEST, BUT THEN I REALIZED I AIN'T GOT YOUR NUMBER SO WHAT I DID-- 380 00:24:18,158 --> 00:24:21,561 - [ LAUGHTER ] - - WAS I USED THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BE LIKE, "YO, JIMMY, COME ON 381 00:24:21,561 --> 00:24:24,631 'THE DAILY SHOW.' AND LET ME HOLLER AT YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 382 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:36,309 Jimmy: MARLON, I LET "THE DAILY SHOW" COME TO ME OOH 383 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:40,480 [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ♪ 384 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,550 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> SHOTS FIRED! [ LAUGHTER ] 385 00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:46,152 OOH! THAT WAS GOOD, JIMMY Jimmy: THAT WAS NOT BAD 386 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:49,989 THAT WAS GOOD SEE, THAT'S WHY I WANTED YOU AS MY GUEST 387 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:53,159 I KNEW YOU HAD JOKES THEY DON'T KNOW. SEE, YOU HAD TO COME FROM 388 00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:55,995 BEHIND THE DESK AND EMASCULATE YOU. YOU COME OVER HERE - 389 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:59,599 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? 390 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:10,410 "THE DAILY SHOW," WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH MARLON WAYANS I DON'T KNOW. 391 00:25:10,410 --> 00:25:12,178 NAIL ME TO THE SEAT, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW I'MA CAN SIT DOWN 392 00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:15,548 I'M NOT GOOD AT THAT Jimmy: I CAN'T SEE YOU BEHIND A DESK. 393 00:25:15,548 --> 00:25:17,951 I CAN'T SEE ME BEHIND A A DESK Jimmy: GET RID OF THAT DESK 394 00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:20,053 MY TEACHERS COULDN'T SEE ME BEHIND A DESK, BECAUSE I WAS CUTTING CLASS. 395 00:25:20,053 --> 00:25:24,958 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT-- THERE'S TWO THINGS. 396 00:25:24,958 --> 00:25:27,594 FIRST, LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT "GOD LOVES ME. YES 397 00:25:27,594 --> 00:25:30,096 Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS ON THIS THANK YOU 398 00:25:30,096 --> 00:25:32,298 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: HBO MAX. YES 399 00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:33,833 Jimmy: WHY IS IT CALLED "GOD LOVES ME"? BECAUSE I THINK GOD LOVES 400 00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:35,902 ALL OF US, BUT HE REALLY LOVES ME [ LAUGHTER ] 401 00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:37,804 AND BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE CATACLYSMIC THINGS HAPPENED IN THE WORLD THAT HAVE NOTHING TO 402 00:25:37,804 --> 00:25:43,643 DO WITH YOU, PER SE. BUT THEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, AND IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO 403 00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:50,650 WITH YOU AND ONE OF THOSE EVENTS TO ME WAS SLAP GATE. 404 00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:57,857 AND WHEN CHRIS ROCK AND WILL HAD THAT - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 405 00:25:57,857 --> 00:26:04,197 YEAH, WHEN WILL HIT HIM, LIFE WENT LIKE-- FOR ME. MAYBE WILL HIT HIM THAT HARD 406 00:26:04,197 --> 00:26:08,168 THAT I - [ LAUGHTER ] IT CHANGED MY LIFE, AND SO I 407 00:26:08,168 --> 00:26:09,936 KNOW WILL, CHRIS, AND JADA AND I WAS JUST LIKE, "YO, SOMEBODY GOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STORY 408 00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:16,876 FROM A LOVING, FUNNY PERSPECTIVE. AND SO I CALLED IT "GOD LOVES 409 00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:19,512 ME" BECAUSE THAT SLAP HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE THREE OF THEM, HAD EVERYTHING TO DO WITH 410 00:26:19,512 --> 00:26:27,721 ME [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I'M SO LOST. 411 00:26:27,721 --> 00:26:32,525 HOW DID IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU I DON'T KNOW. 412 00:26:32,525 --> 00:26:37,230 BUT, EVEN--LOOK, IT'S LIKE, QUESTLOVE, WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE 413 00:26:37,230 --> 00:26:39,733 AND IT AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM HE WAS RIGHT THERE, LIKE, "OH, 414 00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:43,770 MY GOD." [ LAUGHTER ] I SEEN THE BROTHER CLUTCH HIS 415 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:48,708 PEARLS HE'S SAID, "WHAT?" [ LAUGHTER ] 416 00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,543 HE'S EVERYWHERE. ONE NIGHT IT WAS ME, DAVE CHAPPELLE, CHRIS ROCK, ALL 417 00:26:50,543 --> 00:26:54,147 OF US ON STAGE AND I LOOK ON STAGE, AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL IS 418 00:26:54,147 --> 00:26:59,419 QUESTLOVE DOING HERE?" YOU LOOK THROUGH HISTORY, YOU ARE THE BLACK FORREST GUMP 419 00:26:59,419 --> 00:27:06,092 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE IN CLASSIC PICTURES, HIM AND MALCOLM X BY THE WINDOW. 420 00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:13,833 [ LAUGHTER ] THE MARTIN LUTHER KING ASSASSINATION-- 421 00:27:13,833 --> 00:27:17,537 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: HE'S EVERYWHERE. JANUARY 6th AT PELOSI'S 422 00:27:17,537 --> 00:27:22,676 DESK [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: OH 423 00:27:22,676 --> 00:27:29,416 OH! SHOTS FIRED! [ CHEERS ] 424 00:27:29,416 --> 00:27:34,821 ♪ Jimmy: GOOD LUCK, "DAILY SHOW." 425 00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:38,224 YOU CAN'T HOLD HIM DOWN. MARLON WAYANS, EVERYBODY "MARLAN WAYANS: GOD LOVES ME." 426 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,493 "GOD LOVES ME" PREMIERES THURSDAY ON HBO MAX. MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE 427 00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:45,432 BREAK. THEY CAN'T STOP-- WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? 428 00:27:45,432 --> 00:28:11,391 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS 429 00:28:11,391 --> 00:28:17,297 A FOUR-TIME GRAMMY WINNER WHOSE MUSIC HAS OVER 13 BILLION STREAMS. 430 00:28:17,297 --> 00:28:21,468 WOW. HIS ALBUM "BEN" COMES OUT FRIDAY 431 00:28:21,468 --> 00:28:22,635 FRIDAY PLEASE WELCOME, MACKLEMORE 432 00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:31,044 ♪ 433 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:40,353 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON NOW. LOOKING GOOD 434 00:28:40,353 --> 00:28:42,655 MACKLEMORE, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW LOOKING GOOD, BUD. 435 00:28:42,655 --> 00:28:49,329 I LIKE THAT DOUBLE BREASTED SUIT YOU KNOW. 436 00:28:49,329 --> 00:28:51,865 Jimmy: YOU LOOK GOOD, PAL YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL GREAT AND BEFORE-- AND 437 00:28:51,865 --> 00:28:56,770 I APPRECIATE THAT. BEFORE WE START, I JUST WANT TO SAY THE SUIT IS GUCCI. 438 00:28:56,770 --> 00:28:59,706 Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT STUFF BUT THE SUIT IS GUCCI, BUT 439 00:28:59,706 --> 00:29:08,248 THE SOCKS ARE NIKE DRY FIT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 440 00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:11,084 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING Jimmy: SEE, HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT. 441 00:29:11,084 --> 00:29:13,053 SEE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. DRY FIT. 442 00:29:13,053 --> 00:29:16,556 YOU NEED THE DRY FIT YOU'RE GETTING SPORTY, BY THE WAY. 443 00:29:16,556 --> 00:29:19,626 I AM. Jimmy: YOU REALLY ARE YOU'RE GETTING INTO GOLF 444 00:29:19,626 --> 00:29:22,128 YES, YES. Jimmy: AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN INTO GOLF 445 00:29:22,128 --> 00:29:25,532 FOUR YEARS? Jimmy: YEAH YEAH. 446 00:29:25,532 --> 00:29:27,367 Jimmy: ARE YOU GETTING BETTER NO, WORSE, WAY WORSE. 447 00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:29,135 [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS GOOD A YEAR AND A HALF IN 448 00:29:29,135 --> 00:29:33,340 TRAJECTORY, PRO. NOW-- TRASH Jimmy: BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO 449 00:29:33,340 --> 00:29:38,411 YOU? THINKING. THINKING 450 00:29:38,411 --> 00:29:40,714 Jimmy: YEAH, JUST OVER THINKING WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT 451 00:29:40,714 --> 00:29:43,783 AT A CERTAIN POINT, I WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD PROBABLY FINISH THE 452 00:29:43,783 --> 00:29:46,953 ALBUM. I SHOULD STOP PLAYING GOLF." I MAKE MONEY DOING THIS, AND I 453 00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:51,658 LOSE MONEY DOING THIS. Jimmy: INTERESTING. LET'S FOCUS ON THE MUSIC. 454 00:29:51,658 --> 00:29:53,693 AND THEN I STOPPED PLAYING, AND THEN YOU ARE ONLY ON INSTAGRAM LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLE TELLING 455 00:29:53,693 --> 00:29:58,732 YOU HOW TO PLAY GOLF AND YOU LOSE ALL ATHLETIC ABILITY. 456 00:29:58,732 --> 00:30:03,436 Jimmy: YOU WERE AT THE-- OH, NO. Jimmy: THE PRO-AM 457 00:30:03,436 --> 00:30:05,972 NO, THIS IS GOOD LOOK AT THIS SWING LOOK AT THAT 458 00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:09,609 THAT'S A GOOD LOOKING GOLFER [ APPLAUSE ] IS THIS YOUR-- BY THE WAY, IS 459 00:30:09,609 --> 00:30:15,248 THIS YOUR CLOTHING YES, BOGIE BOYS SO WE STARTED BOGIE BOYS 460 00:30:15,248 --> 00:30:20,120 GOLD BRAND, HAT, JACKET, SHIRT, PANTS, EVERYTHING. THE SUNGLASSES ARE OAKLEY, AND 461 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:27,160 THEY ARE JUST THERE TO PREVENT ANYONE FROM SEEING THE TEARS [ LAUGHTER ] 462 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,763 Jimmy: NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE. THAT IS A GREAT SWING. I LIKE-- SEE WHAT I DO IS WHEN 463 00:30:29,763 --> 00:30:31,331 I PLAY GOLF, I HOLD BACK THAT FOR TOO LONG SO EVEN IF YOUR SHOT IS BAD, 464 00:30:31,331 --> 00:30:39,072 YOU JUST GO LIKE - YEAH, THEY DON'T KNOW Jimmy: YOU JUST HOLD IT AND 465 00:30:39,072 --> 00:30:41,608 YOU GO - THEY CAN'T TELL ON TV Jimmy: NO, YEAH, LOOKS GOOD 466 00:30:41,608 --> 00:30:43,376 BUT THEN, I HAVE ANOTHER PHOTO OF YOU HERE'S YOU LOOKING FOR YOUR 467 00:30:43,376 --> 00:30:45,845 BALL YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] 468 00:30:45,845 --> 00:30:47,380 Jimmy: I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY. THAT'S WHY I HAD TO EQUAL. 469 00:30:47,380 --> 00:30:50,450 I GOT TO SHOW BOTH PICTURES. YOU KNOW, IT WAS THE 18th HOLE ON THE LAST DAY ON SUNDAY 470 00:30:50,450 --> 00:30:54,487 Jimmy: YEAH WHEN I HIT TWO PEOPLE BACK-TO-BACK 471 00:30:54,487 --> 00:30:56,556 [ LAUGHTER ] THEN I REALLY HAD A LONG, HARD TALK WITH MYSELF LATER THAT 472 00:30:56,556 --> 00:31:01,494 NIGHT. MAYBE THIS IS NOT THE SPORT FOR YOU. 473 00:31:01,494 --> 00:31:03,897 Jimmy: YEAH, THIS IS THE SPORT FOR YOU RIGHT HERE YES 474 00:31:03,897 --> 00:31:06,833 Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOUR MUSIC CONGRATULATIONS. 475 00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:08,601 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS FRIDAY-- THIS FRIDAY IT COMES OUT. 476 00:31:08,601 --> 00:31:13,940 YOU WERE WORKING ON THE ALBUM. YOU HAD A TOUR SET UP, AND THEN EVERYTHING JUST CHANGED. 477 00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:16,676 YEAH. Jimmy: CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THAT A LITTLE BIT? 478 00:31:16,676 --> 00:31:20,847 YES, COVID HAPPENED AND LIKE EVERYBODY, MY WORLD STOPPED. 479 00:31:20,847 --> 00:31:24,984 AND YOU KNOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT MIGHT NOT FOLLOW MY STORY, I AM A RECOVERING ADDICT, 480 00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:32,859 ALCOHOLIC, AND HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 14 YEARS. AND COVID HAPPENED - 481 00:31:32,859 --> 00:31:39,099 [ APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 482 00:31:39,099 --> 00:31:41,101 AND A BIG PART OF MY RECOVERY COMMUNITY IS GOING TO PHYSICAL 12-STEP MEETINGS AND ONCE THOSE 483 00:31:41,101 --> 00:31:48,942 STOPPED, I WAS ALONE AND THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION WAS LIKE "YO, THIS IS CRAZY 484 00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:55,115 THE WORLD HAS STOPPED. YOU CAN GET HIGH." AND EVENTUALLY, I STOPPED DOING 485 00:31:55,115 --> 00:32:01,054 THE THINGS THAT PREVENTED ME FROM GETTING HIGH, AND I LISTENED TO THAT VOICE 486 00:32:01,054 --> 00:32:07,527 AND IT WAS A COUPLE WEEKS OF A A RELAPSE AND VERY PAINFUL AND STILL WORKING ON TRUST 487 00:32:07,527 --> 00:32:11,464 ISSUES WITH MYSELF, AND WITHIN MY, YOU KNOW, CLOSE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS. 488 00:32:11,464 --> 00:32:13,733 BUT IT DEFINITELY WAS A REMINDER THAT WHATEVER I PUT IN FRONT OF MY RECOVERY WILL BE 489 00:32:13,733 --> 00:32:18,772 THE FIRST THING THAT I LOSE. Jimmy: YEAH OH MY GOSH 490 00:32:18,772 --> 00:32:22,809 I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU STOPPED. YEAH. Jimmy: AND GOT TO GET HELP 491 00:32:22,809 --> 00:32:24,577 AGAIN. YEAH. I THINK FOR ME, IT'S NOT LIKE 492 00:32:24,577 --> 00:32:26,312 A LINEAR PATH RIGHT? IT'S NOT LIKE, ONCE I REALIZED-- IT'S ONE DISEASE 493 00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:36,389 THAT TELLS YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE A DISEASE. Jimmy: WOW. 494 00:32:36,389 --> 00:32:40,093 AND I'M DOING MY BEST, AND I'M MAKING MISTAKES. AND THERE IS SOME IN THE FUTURE 495 00:32:40,093 --> 00:32:42,095 TOO SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE IN SOME CAPACITY TO MY LIFE, BUT I WANT TO SHARE THAT WITH THE 496 00:32:42,095 --> 00:32:53,540 PEOPLE I LOVE AND FOLLOW ME. I APPRECIATE THE HONESTY. WE LOVE YOU. 497 00:32:53,540 --> 00:32:57,377 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE YOU. Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU. 498 00:32:57,377 --> 00:32:59,646 DOES THAT-- IT'S SCARY BECAUSE, "YEAH, I DO WANT TO SAY IT AGAIN 499 00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:02,082 WE LOVE YOU. YEAH. Jimmy: I REALLY LOVE YOU. 500 00:33:02,082 --> 00:33:05,051 THANK YOU THANK YOU. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. 501 00:33:05,051 --> 00:33:06,653 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN GREAT TO US 502 00:33:06,653 --> 00:33:11,691 I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR A DECADE. I REALLY DO. DOES IT CHANGE THE MUSIC 503 00:33:11,691 --> 00:33:13,326 DOES IT CHANGE THE ALBUM AND TOUR AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, WAIT, 504 00:33:13,326 --> 00:33:15,528 MAYBE I SHOULD GO BACK AND RERECORD THAT? YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT IT 505 00:33:15,528 --> 00:33:22,168 CREATES SOME MOMENTS OF INTROSPECTION OF, AGAIN, WHO AM I? 506 00:33:22,168 --> 00:33:27,741 THAT'S KIND OF THE STRIPPING AWAY IS PART OF THE PROCESS OF WRITING AN ALBUM 507 00:33:27,741 --> 00:33:32,445 IT'S NOT ADDING MORE TO, BUT PEELING BACK LAYERS. UNCOVERING THE VEIL. 508 00:33:32,445 --> 00:33:34,981 GETTING TO THE HEART AND THE RELAPSE WAS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO GET BACK 509 00:33:34,981 --> 00:33:42,288 TO THE PLACE OF, "OKAY, WHAT WENT ON? "LET ME TALK ABOUT IT. 510 00:33:42,288 --> 00:33:45,558 "LET'S GET VULNERABLE. "WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID TO SAY RIGHT NOW? 511 00:33:45,558 --> 00:33:47,227 THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED TO LEAN INTO Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS ON 512 00:33:47,227 --> 00:33:49,496 THE ALBUM AND GETTING EVERYTHING THANK YOU 513 00:33:49,496 --> 00:33:51,564 Jimmy: WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU Jimmy: GIVE IT UP FOR 514 00:33:51,564 --> 00:33:54,434 MACKLEMORE RIGHT THERE, GUYS CONGRATS CONGRATS 515 00:33:54,434 --> 00:33:56,236 THE NEW ALBUM "BEN" COMES OUT THIS FRIDAY, AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE BACK ON OUR SHOW NEXT 516 00:33:56,236 --> 00:33:58,672 WEEK YES Jimmy: SO YEAH, COME RIGHT 517 00:33:58,672 --> 00:34:00,774 BACK DON'T LEAVE. MACKLEMORE, EVERYBODY. 518 00:34:00,774 --> 00:34:03,943 MORE "TONIGHT SHOW." STICK AROUND COME ON BACK 519 00:34:03,943 --> 00:34:23,096 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST HAS 520 00:34:23,096 --> 00:34:25,932 HER COMEDY SPECIAL "THE HUSTLER" PREMIERING MARCH 9th ON YOUTUBE 521 00:34:25,932 --> 00:34:27,734 PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY, KELSEY COOK. 522 00:34:28,635 --> 00:34:35,542 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOW, HI, THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. 523 00:34:35,542 --> 00:34:39,679 I AM FROM SPOKANE, WASHINGTON, ORIGINALLY AND I'VE BEEN ON TOUR A LOT THE PAST YEAR 524 00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:41,648 AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE GO "DO YOU GET SCARED TO PERFORM IN DANGEROUS PLACES LIKE NEW YORK 525 00:34:41,648 --> 00:34:52,926 CITY?" I'M LIKE SPOKANE IS THE METH CAPITAL OF AMERICA 526 00:34:52,926 --> 00:35:02,635 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OK, I AM THE DANGER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 527 00:35:02,635 --> 00:35:04,838 SPOKANE IS ROUGH LAST TIME I WAS HOME I GOT AN UBER DRIVER NAMED BONES. 528 00:35:04,838 --> 00:35:07,774 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND HE LOOKED LIKE A BONES I CANCELLED THE RIDE 529 00:35:07,774 --> 00:35:11,511 IMMEDIATELY, OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO A CAR WITH MY EX 530 00:35:11,511 --> 00:35:19,252 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WHAT A CRAZY NAME. BONES MUST GET 200 RIDE 531 00:35:19,252 --> 00:35:26,059 CANCELLATIONS AN HOUR. I DON'T EVEN THINK HE OWNS A A CAR. 532 00:35:26,059 --> 00:35:34,467 I THINK HE JUST SITS IN BED AND COLLECTS A $5 CANCELLATION FEE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 533 00:35:34,467 --> 00:35:37,137 EVERY 30 SECONDS HE'S PROBABLY A MILLIONAIRE. I NEED TO MAKE A DRIVING 534 00:35:37,137 --> 00:35:42,442 PROFILE WITH A FAKE PHOTO AND SAY MY NAME IS STABS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 535 00:35:42,442 --> 00:35:45,078 I'D LIKE A NEW LAPTOP. I'M IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP AND WE HAD THAT CONVERSATION ABOUT 536 00:35:45,078 --> 00:35:48,248 LABELS BECAUSE I FELT READY TO BE CALLED BOYFRIEND AND 537 00:35:48,248 --> 00:35:53,386 GIRLFRIEND AND HE GOES, "YOU KNOW, BEING IN MY 40s, I FEEL LIKE I'M A 538 00:35:53,386 --> 00:35:58,525 A LITTLE OLD TO BE CALLED SOMEBODY'S BOYFRIEND BUT IF YOU CALL ME YOUR MAN 539 00:35:58,525 --> 00:36:03,029 FRIEND, THAT SOUNDS LIKE I'VE COMMITTED SEX CRIMES [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 540 00:36:03,029 --> 00:36:05,065 SO, I WAS LIKE ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME 541 00:36:05,065 --> 00:36:10,637 AND HE GOES, "I'LL JUST BE LIKE, 'THIS IS MY LADY.' [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 542 00:36:10,637 --> 00:36:14,140 I SAID WELL THAT FEELS LIKE WE'RE AT A RENAISSANCE FAIR. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 543 00:36:14,140 --> 00:36:17,243 AND I CAN'T USE THE EQUIVALENT OF THAT. I CAN'T BE LIKE MOM, DAD, I'D 544 00:36:17,243 --> 00:36:25,385 LIKE YOU TO MEET MY LORD [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND HE'S ALSO A COMEDIAN 545 00:36:25,385 --> 00:36:33,693 AND I WASN'T MUCH OF A JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND IN MY 20s AND THEN SOME SWITCH FLIPPED IN 546 00:36:33,693 --> 00:36:36,429 MY 30s AND NOW WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY HIT ON THE PERSON I'M WITH 547 00:36:36,429 --> 00:36:45,071 I FEEL MYSELF ANIMORPH INTO THE CAST OF "JERSEY SHORE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 548 00:36:45,071 --> 00:36:48,074 AND I AM READILY TO BRAWL. AND HE DOES GET HIT ON WHEN HE WALKS ON STAGE WOMEN 549 00:36:48,074 --> 00:36:50,310 WHISTLE AT HIM AND AT COMEDY CLUBS THERE IS USUALLY A SECURITY GUARD IN THE 550 00:36:50,310 --> 00:36:54,247 BACK TO KICK THEM OUT IN CASE THEY HECKLE. SO AT THE SHOW I STAND NEXT TO 551 00:36:54,247 --> 00:36:57,650 THE SECURITY GUARD [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND IF I SEE A WOMAN LAUGHING 552 00:36:57,650 --> 00:36:59,819 TOO HARD AT A JOKES. I JUST WALK UP AND I'M LIKE, "HEY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK 553 00:36:59,819 --> 00:37:07,927 YOU TO LEAVE." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] "HE'S MY FAVORITE COMEDIAN." 554 00:37:07,927 --> 00:37:11,765 WELL, HE'S MY LORD [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO, BEAT IT. 555 00:37:11,765 --> 00:37:13,400 SCOOT. THE LAST TIME I DID "THE TONIGHT SHOW" I MENTIONED MY 556 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,901 ENTIRE FAMILY AND I ARE ACTUALLY WORLD CHAMPION FOOSBALL PLAYERS 557 00:37:14,901 --> 00:37:21,941 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, THANK YOU. BUT WHAT'S FUN FOR ME, SINCE 558 00:37:21,941 --> 00:37:30,316 NOBODY SUSPECTS THAT I'M A PRO FOOSBALL PLAYER, I LOVE TO HUSTLE PEOPLE. 559 00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:32,352 RIGHT. AND I USUALLY PLAY AGAINST OTHER COMEDIANS ON MY FOOSBALL 560 00:37:32,352 --> 00:37:35,121 WEB SERIES BUT, WE DID THIS SPECIAL EPISODE I WENT UNDERCOVER IN 561 00:37:35,121 --> 00:37:42,462 VEGAS AND HUSTLED DRUNK DUDES ON THE VEGAS STRIP [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 562 00:37:42,462 --> 00:37:46,833 SO I WORE THIS LOW CUT TOP I TALKED IN THE WORST VOICE. AND MY CAMERA CREW AND I WOULD 563 00:37:46,833 --> 00:37:51,871 GO UP TO GROUPS OF GUYS. AND I'D GO, "HI, MY NAME IS KELSEY AND I HAVE THIS WEB 564 00:37:51,871 --> 00:37:53,373 SERIES WHERE I DO THINGS THAT I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE FOR THE FIRST TIME 565 00:37:53,373 --> 00:38:01,481 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT'S CALLED POP MY CHERRY. [ LAUGHTER ] 566 00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:06,519 SILLY. SO I'VE NEVER PLAYED FOOSBALL BEFORE 567 00:38:06,519 --> 00:38:11,858 AND WE JUST FOUND THIS TABLE AND I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU GUYS WANTED TO PLAY ME?" 568 00:38:11,858 --> 00:38:16,896 EVERY GROUP OF GUYS WAS LIKE, "HELL YEAH, LADY, LET'S GO YEAH, I'LL PLAY YOU RIGHT NOW. 569 00:38:16,896 --> 00:38:23,236 AND SO, I WOULD PLAY THE FIRST GAME TERRIBLY ON PURPOSE I'D GIGGLE A BUNCH 570 00:38:23,236 --> 00:38:26,406 SPIN THE RODS A LOT. REALLY BUILD UP THEIR CONFIDENCE 571 00:38:26,406 --> 00:38:30,043 AND THEN I'D GO, "OK, SO, I THINK I HAVE THE HANG OF IT NOW. 572 00:38:30,043 --> 00:38:35,715 AND THIS IS VEGAS SO, WE SHOULD PLAY FOR MONEY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 573 00:38:35,715 --> 00:38:40,620 AND EVERY GUY WOULD PUT THEIR WHOLE WALLET ON THE TABLE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 574 00:38:40,620 --> 00:38:45,325 THEY'D HAND ME THE BALL AND GO, "HERE, YOU CAN SERVE FIRST." AND THAT'S WHEN I'D PULL OUT MY 575 00:38:45,325 --> 00:39:03,910 FOOSBALL GRIP GLOVE. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS ] 576 00:39:03,910 --> 00:39:08,014 I'VE NEVER DONE COCAINE, BUT I WOULD ASSUME IT'S A SIMILAR RUSH 577 00:39:08,014 --> 00:39:09,916 ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, I'M KELSEY COOK. THANKS FOR HAVING ME 578 00:39:09,916 --> 00:39:17,023 ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT 579 00:39:17,023 --> 00:39:22,929 KELSEY COOK. "THE HUSTLER" WILL BE AVAILABLE MARCH 9th ON YOUTUBE 580 00:39:22,929 --> 00:39:26,533 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 581 00:39:26,533 --> 00:39:57,263 ♪ Jimmy: MY THANKS TO WILLEM DAFOE, MARLON WAYANS, 582 00:39:57,263 --> 00:40:01,001 MACKLEMORE KELSEY COOK, ONCE AGAIN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 583 00:40:01,001 --> 00:40:05,572 AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING 584 00:40:05,572 --> 00:40:08,208 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 585 00:40:08,208 --> 00:40:08,208 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY BYE-BYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE