1 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:11,244 Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:18,485 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:22,288 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - LIAM NEESON, 4 00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:27,660 JACK WHITEHALL MUSICAL GUEST, NATE SMITH, AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:33,900 ROOTS CREW Questlove: THIS IS OUR 1800th SHOW. 6 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:41,508 Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:47,414 --> 00:01:03,930 ♪ ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:07,667 Jimmy: WOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S A CROWD 9 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:11,371 I LOVE YOU WELCOME. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 10 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,907 ENJOY YOURSELF THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 11 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,610 "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. YOU'RE HERE. YOU MADE IT. 12 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:22,082 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, GUYS, I SAW THAT TODAY IS 13 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:28,121 NATIONAL SINGLES AWARENESS DAY THANK GOD [ CHEERS ] 14 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,856 Jimmy: YEAH, I COULD BE WRONG, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT THE DAY WHEN PEOPLE ARE MOST 15 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:33,893 AWARE THEY'RE SINGLE IS VALENTINE'S DAY. BUT I DUNNO. 16 00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:36,529 [ LAUGHTER ] ACTUALLY, I THINK SINGLES AWARENESS DAY SHOULD BE ON 17 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:39,366 THANKSGIVING 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN YOUR FAMILY MAKES YOU THE MOST AWARE YOU'RE SINGLE. 18 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:42,969 [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DATE SOMEBODY? 19 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:46,806 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "I WANT GRANDKIDS. THAT'S RIGHT 20 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:51,378 IT'S SINGLES AWARENESS DAY AND IN A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE, IT FALLS ON HUMP DAY 21 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:56,916 [ LAUGHTER ] ACTUALLY, SINGLE PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T 22 00:01:56,916 --> 00:02:00,453 WANT TO DATE SOMEONE, IT'S JUST THAT WE REALLY ENJOY CANCELLING PLANS. 23 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:03,289 I MEAN, THAT'S FUN [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT 24 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:08,561 IT IS SINGLES AWARENESS DAY, AND THIS IS NICE, STORES ACTUALLY SOLD CANDY FOR IT 25 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,397 I THINK THEY MIGHT'VE JUST REUSED SOME OF THE CANDY FROM VALENTINE'S DAY. 26 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:15,769 TAKE A LOOK. FIRST THERE'S, "I LOVE YOU-- LIKE A SIBLING." 27 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:21,341 [ LAUGHTER ] AND YOU GO, "WELL, THAT'S-- THEN THERE'S "ME AND YOU - 28 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:25,712 MAKE GREAT SMALL TALK. [ LAUGHTER ] AND YOU GO-- "WAIT, 29 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:29,649 THAT'S-- NEXT THERE'S, "ONLY YOU-- CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES." 30 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,384 Steve: WOW. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT'S MORE OF A 31 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,153 A PUBLIC SERVICE Steve: FOR SMOKEY THE BEAR. Jimmy: AND FINALLY, OF 32 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,189 COURSE, THERE'S THE CLASSIC, "LOL - NO." 33 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:43,697 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "NOT GONNA HAPPEN. HEY, IN HONOR OF SINGLES 34 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,599 AWARENESS DAY, I JUST WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALL THE SINGLE PEOPLE OUT 35 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:52,939 THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DON'T WORRY IF YOU HAVEN'T 36 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:56,643 FOUND SOMEONE YET. SOME PEOPLE WERE SINGLE THROUGHOUT THEIR 20s, 30s, AND 37 00:02:56,643 --> 00:03:01,781 40s. AND AFTER A WHILE-- [ LAUGHTER ] 38 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:08,054 THOSE PEOPLE START TO WONDER IF "IT" WOULD EVER HAPPEN AND THEY PRACTICE KISSING ON 39 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:13,793 THEIR PILLOWS. THEY EVEN-- [ LAUGHTER ] 40 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,829 THEY EVEN POST TO CRAIGSLIST SEEKING SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO, QUOTE, "GET FREAKY-DEAKY WITH 41 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:23,303 A SCALP THAT'S SQUEAKY." [ LAUGHTER ] BUT IN THE END - 42 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,140 BUT IN THE END, EVEN THAT GUY FOUND LOVE SO, KEEP THE FAITH 43 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:31,077 WORST CASE, YOU COULD JUST ACCEPT A LIFE OF CELIBACY. HANG IN THERE, EVERYBODY 44 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:40,587 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HI, JAMES. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT 45 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:44,624 COMING TO REHEARSAL. YOU KNOW-- [ LAUGHTER ] 46 00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,826 GUYS, GET THIS I HEARD THAT LAST NIGHT, PRESIDENT BIDEN CELEBRATED 47 00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:51,731 VALENTINE'S DAY BY ORDERING TAKEOUT FROM A FRENCH RESTAURANT IN D.C. 48 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,701 WHAT HE HAS AIR FORCE ONE HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE FLOWN 49 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:59,272 JILL TO FRANCE [ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, BIDEN EATS DINNER AT 50 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:03,777 3:00 P.M., HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A TABLE? [ LAUGHTER ] 51 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,478 YEP, BIDEN ORDERED TAKEOUT, WHICH WAS KIND OF FUN BECAUSE IT'S NOT OFTEN YOU SEE AN 52 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:11,418 UBER EATS GUY WITH A SECRET SERVICE MOTORCADE. IT'S LIKE-- 53 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,688 [ LAUGHTER ] "I ACCIDENTALLY WENT TO PENNSYLVANIA STREET. 54 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:18,091 I DIDN'T KNOW 1200 PENNSYLVANIA STREET WAS THE PLACE BUT-- " 55 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,160 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THE DELIVERY GUY CALLED HIM LIKE, "SORRY--" 56 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,896 OH, SORRY, THAT WAS THE JOKE I JUST DID OOPS 57 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:28,902 [ LAUGHTER ] SHOULD HAVE CAME - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 58 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:35,575 Steve: WHOA Jimmy: I SHOULD HAVE-- I SHOULD HAVE CAME TO REHEARSAL. 59 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:41,147 [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, VALENTINE'S DAY WAS YESTERDAY. 60 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:46,519 PERSONALLY, I HAD A GREAT TIME NANCY AND I GOT DINNER AT ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SPOTS. 61 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,955 TARIQ, WHAT DID YOU DO Tariq: OH, MY WIFE AND I GOT A BABYSITTER SO WE COULD JUST 62 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,457 CHILL AT HOME, JUST THE TWO OF US YOU KNOW, CATCH UP ON OUR SHOWS 63 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,992 AND ORDER TAKEOUT. Jimmy: THAT'S SWEET HIGGINS, HOW WAS YOUR 64 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:56,663 VALENTINE'S DAY? Steve: NOT GREAT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 65 00:04:56,663 --> 00:05:01,601 I GOT CATFISHED. Jimmy: SORRY. WAIT, AREN'T YOU MARRIED 66 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:05,405 Steve: YEAH, I GOT CATFISHED BY MY WIFE [ LAUGHTER ] 67 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:08,908 Jimmy: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE Steve: WELL, I NEVER MET HER IN PERSON, WE WOULD JUST 68 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:12,645 FACETIME BUT LAST NIGHT, IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, WE'VE BEEN MARRIED, LIKE, 69 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:16,049 30 YEARS MAYBE WE SHOULD MEET." BUT THEN SHE BLOCKED ME ON 70 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,218 FACEBOOK [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: BUT-- BUT YOU HAVE 71 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:21,688 KIDS WITH HER. Steve: TURNS OUT MY KIDS WERE CATFISHING ME TOO 72 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:24,657 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHAT Steve: YEAH 73 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:28,294 THEY WERE ACTORS HIRED TO PLAY MY CHILDREN. I GUESS MOST OF THEM USED TO 74 00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:32,632 WORK ON "iCARLY. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHY-- WHY IS THIS 75 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:37,704 HAPPENING TO YOU Steve: I GUESS THAT ROKU IS DOING A NEW PRANK SHOW CALLED 76 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,639 "STEVE HIGGINS' WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 77 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:43,243 IT'S LIKE "THE TRUMAN SHOW" BUT NOT HEARTWARMING AT ALL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 78 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,478 YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST THING IS, JIMMY? Jimmy: I HAVEN'T HEARD THE 79 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:48,081 WORST THING SO FAR Steve: NO I'M NOT EVEN THE ANNOUNCER FOR 80 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,317 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT 81 00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:54,921 Steve: NO I'M A HOLOGRAM [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 82 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:57,891 REAL ME IS A 16-YEAR-OLD KID STRAPPED INTO A V.R. HEADSET IN MONTANA. 83 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:01,261 I'VE GOTTA GO, JIMMY MY MOM'S CALLING ME FOR DINNER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 84 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,563 Jimmy: WHAT-- WHAT'S GOING ON [ APPLAUSE ] 85 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,733 Steve: OKAY, MOM. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. GOD. 86 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:11,237 [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: STEVE HIGGINS. I LOVE THAT CHARACTER. 87 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:18,111 THAT IS A GREAT GUY. WOW, AMAZING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 88 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:22,048 THAT COST US $4 MILLION TO DO. Steve: ARE YOU SERIOUS? Jimmy: YEAH 89 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,318 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Steve: I MISSED REHEARSAL Jimmy: I'LL FILL YOU IN 90 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,854 SOME POLITICAL NEWS. TODAY, NIKKI HALEY OFFICIALLY KICKED OFF HER PRESIDENTIAL 91 00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,490 CAMPAIGN AND DURING HER SPEECH, SHE CALLED FOR POLITICIANS OLDER 92 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:37,063 THAN 75 TO HAVE A MANDATORY COMPETENCY TEST. YEP, COMPETENCY TESTS FOR 93 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,967 POLITICIANS OVER 75. THEN BIDEN SAID, "I HAVE A A BETTER IDEA. 94 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:47,173 COMPETENCY TESTS FOR POLITICIANS OVER 75. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 95 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:56,082 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, SHE SAID OLDER POLITICIANS NEED MENTAL CHECKS 96 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:59,686 AND NEW IDEAS. THEN TRUMP LOOKED AT BIDEN LIKE, "WOW, SHE'S REALLY GOING 97 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:04,691 AFTER YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] SOME MORE POLITICAL NEWS, 98 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,861 SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS SAID THAT PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS SHOULD GET A MINIMUM SALARY OF 99 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:18,905 $60,000 A YEAR [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEN EVERY OTHER SENATOR WAS 100 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:23,243 LIKE, "TEACHER'S PET." [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, SOME MOVIE NEWS HERE, 101 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,746 GUYS THIS WEEKEND, "ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA" IS HITTING 102 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:30,150 THEATERS, AND I AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS PAUL RUDD IS FANTASTIC IN 103 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:34,287 EVERYTHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "ANT-MAN." 104 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:38,124 [ APPLAUSE ] TARIQ, THIS WEEKEND, YOU GONNA SEE "ANT-MAN"? 105 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:42,162 Tariq: CAN'T, MAN [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHY NOT? 106 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:45,565 Tariq: HANGING WITH MY AUNT, MAN. Jimmy: DOING WHAT 107 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:48,401 Tariq: BUYING A PLANT, MAN. Jimmy: YOU'RE BUYING A PLANT FOR YOUR AUNT INSTEAD OF SEEING 108 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,237 "ANT- MAN" Tariq: NO, NO I'M BUYING A PLANT WITH MY AUNT 109 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:54,741 TO GIVE TO KEVIN DURANT, MAN [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: WHY WOULD 110 00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,876 KEVIN DURANT WANT A PLANT FROM YOUR AUNT, MAN Tariq: BECAUSE KEVIN DURANT 111 00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:02,716 NEEDS A PLANT FROM MY AUNT-- I MEAN MY AUNT, TO GIVE STEVEN VAN ZANDT, MAN. 112 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,019 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YOU SEE THAT WHOLE--E [ RIM SHOT ] 113 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:13,026 THE WHOLE BIT. THE WHOLE BIT IS "ANT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 114 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,894 YOU'RE GONNA SEE 'AUNT-MAN'? GONNA SEE 'AUNT-MAN' Tariq: I-- I MEANT TO COME 115 00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:18,898 TO REHEARSAL, BUT I SAID, "I CAN'T, MAN." [ LAUGHTER ] 116 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:27,107 [ RIM SHOT ] ♪ Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. 117 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:30,176 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S GOOD. Steve: IT'S NOT GONNA GET 118 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,779 BETTER THAN THAT Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW I DON'T-- WE SHOULD JUST GO TO 119 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,181 THE END, RIGHT I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA FIND THIS - 120 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,549 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO GUYS, SOME MORE BUSINESS NEWS-- 121 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:41,454 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME BUSINESS NEWS, CHIPOTLE IS LAUNCHING A SPINOFF RESTAURANT 122 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:48,228 CALLED FARMESA FRESH EATERY. DAMN, IN 2023, EVEN OUR RESTAURANTS ARE GETTING 123 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,865 SPINOFFS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YEP, CHIPOTLE-- BOTH CHIPOTLE 124 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,835 AND E. COLI WERE LIKE, "WE'RE EXPANDING. [ LAUGHTER ] 125 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,905 WELL, LISTEN TO THIS CYBER SECURITY EXPERTS ARE WARNING THAT ELECTRIC VEHICLES 126 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:03,376 COULD BE THE NEXT PRIME TARGETS FOR HACKERS. Steve: OOH. 127 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,880 Jimmy: WHICH EXPLAINS WHY MY CAR KEEPS GETTING EMAILS ABOUT "HOT SEDANS IN YOUR AREA." 128 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:14,854 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, IT IS WEDNESDAY 129 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:15,588 IT IS TIME FOR "WeTWEET. HERE WE GO 130 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:21,027 ♪ WETWEET 131 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:25,899 WETWEET ♪ Jimmy: WELCOME TO "WeTWEET. THIS IS WHERE WE, AS A GROUP, 132 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:30,170 DECIDE SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULD POST ON TWITTER. I'M GONNA SHOW YOU FIVE 133 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,239 DIFFERENT TWEETS AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO VOTE ON WHETHER YOU LIKE EACH ONE OR NOT 134 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:37,177 YOU ALL HAVE VOTING CLICKERS AT YOUR SEATS YEP. 135 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,880 YOU CAN VOTE FOR ALL OF THEM YOU CAN VOTE FOR NONE OF THEM. WHATEVER YOU WANT. 136 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,615 AND WE'RE GONNA SEE THE RESULTS LIVE HIGGINS, ROOTS, YOU GUYS HAVE 137 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,952 CLICKERS TOO Steve: GOT IT Jimmy: WHATEVER TWEET GETS 138 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,887 THE MOST LIKES, WE WILL TWEET IT OUT LIVE ON THE SHOW SO THAT YOU CAN ALL LIKE IT AND 139 00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:51,925 "WeTWEET" IT [ CHEERS ] IT'S A SHARED EXPERIENCE 140 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,195 ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS READY? EVERYONE HAVE YOUR CLICKERS? HANDS UP-- HANDS UP IF YOU GOT 141 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:58,365 THE CLICKERS [ CHEERS ] ALL RIGHT, PERFECT 142 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,333 ALL RIGHT, GOOD. ALL RIGHT, FIRST TWEET IT SAYS, "SO, WE ALL HAVE 143 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:04,270 A PENCIL TIP EMBEDDED IN OUR THIGH FROM 1st GRADE, RIGHT? [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 144 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,774 BOO ♪ Steve: MM 145 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,944 Jimmy: WOW, SILENCE Steve: WOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 146 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,113 Jimmy: MAYBE THEY'RE LAUGHING IN THE-- Steve: NOT REAL PEPPY 147 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,548 Jimmy: MAYBE THEY'RE LAUGHING ON THE INSIDE Steve: ON THE INSIDE OF 148 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,617 THEIR THIGH? Jimmy: YEAH RIGHT? 149 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,120 DON'T TALK ABOUT THE INSIDE OF ANYONE'S THIGH Steve: WHAT'S THAT? 150 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,856 IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY Jimmy: I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I HAVE TO CHECK THE VOTES ON 151 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,758 THIS ONE, BUT LET'S JUST DO IT FOR FUN. LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. 152 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,893 [ DRUMROLL ] Steve: OOH! [ SAD TUBA ] 153 00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,962 Jimmy: WOW. Steve: 64 Jimmy: NO ONE GOT STABBED BY 154 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,830 A PENCIL IN GRADE SCHOOL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OKAY 155 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:33,900 FOUR PEOPLE DID, YEAH. SO IT WORK-- THE MATH WORKS OUT. 156 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,502 Steve: YEAH Jimmy: IT'S CORRECT EVERYONE'S-- EVERYONE'S 157 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,303 CLICKERS WORK. ALL RIGHT. THIS NEXT ONE SAYS, "DON'T 158 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,039 JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, UNLESS THAT COVER HAS A SHIRTLESS MAN ON A HORSE, IN 159 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:43,943 WHICH CASE YOU CAN PROBABLY GUESS WHAT IT'S ABOUT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 160 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:47,647 ♪ Steve: WELL, WHAT-- Jimmy: WELL, NOW I FEEL LIKE 161 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,083 THE ROOTS-- Steve: YEAH Jimmy:-- ARE PLAYING THE 162 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,951 MUSIC LIGHTER AND LIGHTER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ♪ 163 00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:54,020 YEAH, I MEAN, THAT SELLS THE BIT, YOU KNOW? ♪ 164 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,089 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK EITHER. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE THE 165 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,725 RESULTS ON THIS ONE. IT'S PROBABLY WORSE THAN THE FIRST ONE. 166 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,260 OH Steve: OH Jimmy: HEY, ALL RIGHT, NOT 167 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,761 BAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 168 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:04,497 THANK YOU. NOT BAD. Steve: IT HIT TRIPLE DIGITS 169 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,266 Jimmy: NOT-- YEAH. THEY DON'T NECESSARILY GET BETTER 170 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,768 Steve: NO Jimmy: I WILL SAY THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 171 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,404 THIS NEXT ONE HERE SAYS, "AT THIS POINT, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EVEN WALK TO MY MAILBOX 172 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,240 WITHOUT GPS. [ LAUGHTER ] ♪ 173 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,310 IT IS GETTING THAT WAY Steve: YEAH Jimmy: AND IT IS GETTING 174 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,079 THAT WAY WHERE I'M LIKE-- "WHERE-- NO, I-- " YEAH 175 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,115 IT IS GETTING THAT WAY ALL RIGHT. YOU ALL VOTED? 176 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:25,819 LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. [ CHEERS ] Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 177 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:30,090 NOT BAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 178 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,826 Jimmy: NEXT UP, IT SAYS, "INSTEAD OF AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT RESTAURANT, SOMEONE SHOULD OPEN 179 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,328 AN ALL-YOU-SHOULD-EAT RESTAURANT." [ LAUGHTER ] 180 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,298 Steve: OH ♪ Jimmy: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD 181 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:41,334 ACTUALLY I LIKE THAT IDEA IT'S NOT BAD 182 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:45,438 CAST YOUR VOTES HERE ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE THE RESULTS ON THIS 183 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,240 ONE. [ DRUMROLL ] YEAH 184 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,977 Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 185 00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:53,113 Jimmy: THAT'S GONNA BE THE HIT. THAT'S GONNA BE THE WINNER 186 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,981 Steve: THAT TOOK THE LEAD Jimmy: I'LL DO THE LAST ONE JUST FOR FUN, BUT THAT ONE'S 187 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,417 GONNA BE THE RIGHT THING Steve: BUT THAT ONE-- YEAH THAT'S THE ONE 188 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,919 Jimmy: THIS LAST ONE IS "TACOS ARE JUST CHILI THAT THREW ON A ROBE. 189 00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:02,489 [ LAUGHTER ] CAST YOUR VOTES. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE THE 190 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,291 RESULTS. SEEM LIKE THAT ONE - Steve: I KNOW 191 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,127 THAT ONE MIGHT WIN Jimmy: YOU LIKE THAT ONE? Steve: I LIKE THAT ONE. 192 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,528 Jimmy: NO, I THINK IT'S THE ONE BEFORE THAT. Steve: COME ON. 193 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,831 Jimmy: EVERYONE'S LAUGHING AT THAT ONE? BUT I DON'T KNOW 194 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,367 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. Steve: OH 195 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,536 Jimmy: OH, THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 196 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:19,506 THE WINNER IS NUMBER FOUR. [ BELL DINGING ] "INSTEAD OF AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT, 197 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,808 SOMEONE SHOULD OPEN AN ALL-YOU-SHOULD- EAT. I WILL POST THIS DURING THE 198 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,543 COMMERCIAL BREAK IF YOU SEE IT ON YOUR FEED, GIVE IT A LIKE, GIVE IT 199 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:28,114 A "WeTWEET" AND ENJOY. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW LIAM NEESON IS HERE TONIGHT. 200 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:37,857 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JACK WHITEHALL IS JOINING US [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 201 00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:42,095 AND WE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM NATE SMITH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 202 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:46,166 WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'RE GIVING SOMEONE IN OUR AUDIENCE A PERM STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. 203 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:55,342 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 204 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,877 >>> Jimmy: ARE YOU READY - [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FOR THE BRAND NEW, FRESHLY 205 00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:05,085 PERMED TYLER TYLER, COME ON OUT ♪ 206 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:22,836 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. 207 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,105 YOU KNOW, NOT A LOT OF THINGS ARE CERTAIN IN THIS CRAZY WORLD. 208 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:29,075 WE SCURRY THROUGH LIFE LICKETY-SPLIT FROM ONE FLEETING EXPERIENCE TO ANOTHER. 209 00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:33,713 NOTHING SEEMS SACRED ANYMORE NOTHING SEEMS PERMANENT. AND THAT'S WHY, THIS WEEK, AT 210 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,348 "THE TONIGHT SHOW," WE'RE SALUTING THE ONE THING WE KNOW IS STILL PERMANENT, THE 211 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:42,489 PERMANENT. AKA, THE PERMANENT WAVE, AKA, THE PERM 212 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,358 THAT'S RIGHT IT'S THE RETURN OF "TONIGHT 213 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:45,959 SHOW PERM WEEK." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 214 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,999 ON THE FALLON SHOW 215 00:13:52,999 --> 00:14:07,547 IT'S PERM WEEK OH MY GOD ♪ Jimmy: THIS IS "TONIGHT SHOW 216 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:12,118 PERM WEEK," THE VERY SPECIAL WEEK - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 217 00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:17,157 - WHERE EVERY DAY WE PICK SOMEONE FROM OUR AUDIENCE AND STYLISHLY PERM THEIR HAIR. 218 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:21,428 TONIGHT'S LUCKY PERM RECIPIENT IS TYLER TOLEDO. OH, WOW. 219 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:27,334 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE TYLER IS 22 YEARS OLD. HE'S FROM WHITESTONE, NEW YORK 220 00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,170 AND HE'S VERY EXCITED ABOUT HIS NEW HAIRDO 221 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,071 IT'S BEEN A BIG DAY FOR TYLER. TAKE A LOOK. 222 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:32,706 HI, I'M TYLER TOLEDO, AND 223 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:36,710 TODAY I'M GETTING A PERM I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING A PERM BEFORE. 224 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:41,214 I'VE ALWAYS JUST KIND OF BEEN THE TYPE TO JUST LIKE, "AH, LET IT GROW, SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 225 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,250 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS TO GET A PERM, BUT I'M VERY OPEN TO CHANGE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. 226 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:47,420 I'M TYLER'S DAD AND WE'RE TYLER'S FRIENDS, AND WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT 227 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,591 HE LOOKS WITH A PERM I WOULDN'T CHANGE TYLER'S HAIR BUT I SUPPORT HIM ON HIS 228 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:54,527 JOURNEY. THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THAT I KNOW THAT HAS A PERM IS MY 229 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,097 MOTHER AND I LOOK AT PICTURES, AND I WONDER WHY 230 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,798 MY GRANDMOTHER HAD A PERM IN THE '70s AND YOU LOOK AT ALL THOSE OLD PICTURES AND SHE 231 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:02,635 ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT AND NOW TYLER'S GETTING A A PERM AND I'M ALSO WONDERING 232 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:06,439 WHY. I'M HOPING TYLER DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HAGRID FROM 233 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:10,610 "HARRY POTTER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] HE'S GOT THE BEARD, TOO, SO 234 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,679 IT'S LIKELY. I DON'T THINK THE WORLD IS READY FOR WHAT THEY'RE ABOUT TO 235 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:16,616 SEE, A WHOLE DIFFERENT TYLER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: YEAH, A WHOLE 236 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:23,823 DIFFERENT TYLER. NOW, TYLER HAS BEEN SEQUESTERED SINCE HE GOT PERMED, SO HE 237 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:28,762 HASN'T SEEN HIMSELF YET. AND HIS DAD AND HIS FRIENDS HAVEN'T SEEN HIM EITHER. 238 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:32,899 THIS ENTIRE PROCESS HAS BEEN CLOAKED IN SECRECY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 239 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,435 WE'VE GOT HIS DAD AND HIS FRIENDS RIGHT HERE HELLO, GUYS. 240 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:39,139 HOW YOU GUYS DOING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NICE TO SEE YOU. 241 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:42,208 [ APPLAUSE ] NICE TO SEE YOU. DAD, YOU COULDN'T PERM YOUR 242 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,710 HAIR IF YOU TRIED? NO, NO, NO, NOT AT ALL, JIMMY. 243 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,780 Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT SHORT, SHORT, SHORT HAIR. AND YOU HAD A GREAT HAGRID 244 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,516 LINE THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. THANK YOU 245 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,484 Jimmy: YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, NOW, DO NOT REMOVE 246 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,120 THE BLINDFOLDS UNTIL I TELL YOU, OKAY? ARE YOU EXCITED? 247 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,956 VERY EXCITED. YES YEAH, YEP 248 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,591 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: AUDIENCE, ARE YOU READY? 249 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,094 ARE YOU READY-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE - - FOR THE BRAND NEW, FRESHLY 250 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:07,901 PERMED, TYLER? HERE IS TYLER BEFORE AND HERE HE IS NOW 251 00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:12,906 TYLER, COME ON OUT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 252 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:21,214 ♪ OH MY GOD ♪ Jimmy: CAN YOU DO A 360 THAT'S GREAT. 253 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:26,353 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: STEP RIGHT ON THE STAR 254 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:30,390 I'M SO EXCITED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WOW. 255 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:35,228 TYLER, YOU LOOK GREAT. DO YOU FEEL GREAT? I FEEL INCREDIBLE 256 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:40,567 Jimmy: WOW. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE GUYS, ARE YOU READY TO SEE 257 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,102 TYLER? YES YEAH. 258 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:45,939 Jimmy: HOLD HANDS-- HOLD HANDS AND FOLLOW ME. ALL RIGHT 259 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:47,674 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER 260 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,310 DO NOT TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDFOLDS YET. [ DRUMROLL ] 261 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,278 ALL RIGHT. WHO ARE YOU MOST EXCITED TO SEE YOUR NEW LOOK? 262 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,882 DAD? HE'S-- HE'S SEEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY HAIRDOS 263 00:16:55,882 --> 00:17:00,787 THIS IS GONNA BE A UNIQUE ONE. Jimmy: THIS WILL BE A - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 264 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,555 ONE HE'S NEVER SEEN BEFORE. Jimmy: BE A PROUD PAPA/SON MOMENT 265 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:07,127 ALL RIGHT, WHENEVER YOU GUYS ARE READY, TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDFOLDS 266 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,730 OH! ♪ ♪ OH MY GOD ♪ 267 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:17,404 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LIKE IT I LIKE IT. 268 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,606 I LIKE IT YOU COULD BE TWINS ALMOST THERE. 269 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:23,076 Jimmy: NO, WE DON'T LOOK LIKE TWINS MUCH BETTER LOOKING. 270 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:27,147 NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT REVEAL OF ALL. TYLER, ARE YOU READY TO SEE 271 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:31,184 YOURSELF ABOUT AS READY AS I CAN BE. Jimmy: YOU READY FOR THIS 272 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:37,857 READY Jimmy: THREE, TWO, ONE. HAVE A LOOK. 273 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:41,361 ♪ ♪ OH MY GOD ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 274 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:54,908 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT, TOO. 275 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,743 Jimmy: YOU LOOK GOOD. IT'S A GOOD-- YOU GOT A GOOD FIT. 276 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,445 IT'S A GOOD LOOK OUR THANKS TO THE RANDY DARDEN HAIR SALON FOR THIS WONDERFUL 277 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:02,349 PERM WE'RE GIVING OUT PERMS EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK. 278 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:05,385 HAPPY PERM WEEK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 279 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:10,190 LIAM NEESON. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 280 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:17,030 ♪ IT'S PERM WEE ON THE FALLON SHOW ♪ >>> JIMMY. 281 00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,833 THAT'S THE LAST TIME [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: I DON'T LIKE THIS 282 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:22,302 ALREADY. THIS IS-- I DON'T WANT TO ACT WITH YOU 283 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:42,655 Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE, "MARLOWE," WHICH IS IN THEATERS NOW 284 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:47,093 EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME, LIAM NEESON. 285 00:18:48,862 --> 00:19:07,914 ♪ Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT A STANDING OVATION FOR 286 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:12,385 LIAM NEESON. LIAM, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW I'M ALWAYS HAPPY - 287 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,154 THANK YOU, MATE Jimmy: WHEN YOU'RE ON THE SHOW 288 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,690 GREAT TO BE HERE. GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN Jimmy: I WILL SAY, EVERY 289 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,392 TIME I DO SEE YOU OUTSIDE THE SHOW, IT'S USUALLY AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. 290 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,796 WE'RE AT A KNICK GAME OR A A RANGER GAME. AND, YOU KNOW, THEY PUT THE 291 00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:25,298 CELEBRITIES EVERY NOW AND THEN ON THE JUMBOTRON YEAH. 292 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:28,702 Jimmy: AND I-- WHAT'S IT CALLED? JUMBOTRON? 293 00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:30,437 Jimmy: THE JUMBOTRON, YEAH. IT'S THE BIG SCREEN THERE, YEAH 294 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:33,606 AND THEY-- I NEVER-- 'CAUSE THEY THROW ME UP THERE EVERY NOW AND THEN 295 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:37,110 BUT I DON'T LIKE FOLLOWING YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE JUST LOVES YOU. 296 00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:40,046 [ CHEERS ] YEAH, THEY GO, "LIAM NEESON," THEY SHOW A CLIP FROM ONE OF 297 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,349 YOUR MOVIES, THEN THEY CUT TO YOU AND YOU LOOK LIKE A STUD AND EVERYONE GOES, "YEAH!" 298 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:47,420 AND THEY FREAK OUT [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN I FEEL LIKE I'VE GOT 299 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,922 TO TOP YOU AND THEY PUT ME ON THE JUMBOTRON AND I'M LIKE POURING 300 00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:52,292 BEER ON MYSELF [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, WACKY STUFF. 301 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,060 DON'T EVER FOLLOW LIAM NEESON ON THE JUMBOTRON IT'S MY ONLY ADVICE TO 302 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:57,931 EVERYONE I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE FOR 303 00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,066 PERM WEEK. IT'S A BIG, EXCITING THING IN NEW YORK CITY. 304 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:06,506 [ LAUGHTER ] EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT. I ASKED YOU BACKSTAGE, VERY FAR 305 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,576 AWAY FROM YOU WHEN I ASKED, HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PERM YOU KNOW, IT'S ONE OF THOSE 306 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:15,148 WORDS I GREW UP WITH, HEARING MY MOTHER SAY AND MY SISTER SAY. 307 00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:17,751 I NEVER QUITE KNEW WHAT IT WAS Jimmy: YEAH YEAH 308 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:21,588 IT'S LIKE A PERMANENT WAVE IT'S A CURL, RIGHT? Jimmy: A, CURL, YEAH. 309 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:24,424 BUT YOU HAD LONG HAIR AT ONE POINT. YEAH 310 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,660 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU BROUGHT US A PHOTO I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE'S EVER 311 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:33,500 SEEN YOU WITH LONG HAIR. LOOK AT THIS STUD. WHAT'S HIS STORY 312 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:37,237 [ AUDIENCE OOHS LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN PINK FLOYD OR SOMETHING 313 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,872 DAVE GILMORE. Jimmy: YOU LOOK LIKE DAVE GILMORE 314 00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:41,274 A LITTLE BIT. Jimmy: YOU DO YEAH 315 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,978 WHAT WAS HE ALL ABOUT? 19-- SORRY, BUDDY. 1972, I WAS 20 316 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:48,815 TARA, LONG SINCE DEAD. Jimmy: AW [ AUDIENCE AWS ] 317 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,751 BAN THE BOMB. Jimmy: YOU HAD A PEACE SYMBOL 318 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,154 WERE YOU A HIPPY LOONS YOU DON'T REMEMBER LOONS, 319 00:20:54,154 --> 00:20:57,757 JIMMY. BEFORE YOUR TIME BIG FLARED 320 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,293 Jimmy: OH, YEAH BELL-BOTTOMS YEAH. 321 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:03,363 Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. [ LAUGHTER ] BAREFOOT AS WELL 322 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:06,533 BAREFOOT, TOO, YEAH Jimmy: THIS WAS, LIKE, TAKEN IN WOODSTOCK 323 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:12,105 [ LAUGHTER ] DID YOU KEEP THIS PHASE FOR A WHILE? 324 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,941 I DID Jimmy: YEAH IT'S FUNNY ENOUGH, THIS WAS 325 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:20,080 JUST AFTER I MET MY BROTHER, CIARAN HINES-- I REGARD HIM AS MY BROTHER 326 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:25,418 Jimmy: YEAH BRILLIANT ACTOR AND WE WERE AT A THEATER 327 00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:28,488 FESTIVAL IN A PLACE CALLED ENSCHEDE 30 MILES SOUTH OF AMSTERDAM. 328 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:32,659 FIRST TIME EVER ON AN AIRPLANE YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] 329 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:35,929 Jimmy: EXCITING AND YOU LANDED YOUR FIRST ACTING GIG NOT TOO FAR AFTER 330 00:21:35,929 --> 00:21:42,168 THIS YEAH, 1976. Jimmy: SO, ONLY A COUPLE 331 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,237 YEARS AFTER THAT BUT, CAN YOU TELL EVERYONE HOW YOU GOT CAST 332 00:21:44,237 --> 00:21:48,675 'CAUSE I THINK IT'S PRETTY - OKAY. THERE'S A THEATER THAT CIARAN 333 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:54,180 AND MYSELF ARE PATRONS OF IN BELFAST CALLED THE LYRIC THEATRE. 334 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:58,418 VERY, VERY GOOD THEATER. AND I WAS WORKING IN AN ARCHITECT'S OFFICE DOING PRINTS 335 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:04,057 AND STUFF. KEPT SAYING TO THESE GUYS, "I'M GOING TO BE AN ACTOR 336 00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:07,093 I'M GOING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ACTOR. AND ONE OF THEM CALLED MY BLUFF 337 00:22:07,093 --> 00:22:09,596 ON LUNCH TIME. HE SAID, "CALL UP THE LYRIC THEATRE. 338 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:13,199 THEY LITERALLY PUSHED THE TELEPHONE-- IT WAS ONE OF THE OLD ONES, YOU KNOW 339 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:18,672 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND I CALLED, AND THE LADY WHO FORMED THE THEATER, CALLED 340 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:23,810 MARY O'MALLEY. SHE PICKED IT UP AND I STARTED VOMITING, "I WANT TO BE AN 341 00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:25,545 ACTOR. I'VE DONE ALL THESE AMATEUR PLAYS. 342 00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,948 I WANT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL," AND STUFF. THERE WAS A PAUSE, AND THEN SHE 343 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:35,388 SAID, "WHAT HEIGHT ARE YOU?" [ LAUGHTER ] AND I SAID, 6'4. 344 00:22:35,388 --> 00:22:39,659 SHE SAID, "BE UP HERE NEXT THURSDAY." [ LAUGHTER ] 345 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,528 AND THAT WAS KIND OF IT, YOU KNOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 346 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,797 Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU GOT CAST YEAH. 347 00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:46,766 Jimmy: 6'4. THEY WERE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE THAT TALL? 348 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,502 EXACTLY Jimmy: YOUR HEIGHT GOT YOU THE GIG. 349 00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,137 HEIGHT GOT ME THE GIG Jimmy: I LOVE IT. AND NOW YOUR NEW MOVIE, 350 00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:55,108 "MARLOWE," BY THE WAY, IT'S YOUR 100th MOVIE 100th 351 00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:58,011 YEAH, YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: 100 MOVIES 352 00:22:58,011 --> 00:23:02,615 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH YOU KNOW, YOU PLAYED SO MANY DIFFERENT CHARACTERS 353 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:06,319 DO YOU KNOW WHEN FANS RECOGNIZE YOU ON THE STREET WHAT MOVIE THEY RECOGNIZE YOU FROM 354 00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:10,924 IMMEDIATELY? YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FUNNY STORY. 355 00:23:10,924 --> 00:23:14,527 I HOPE IT'S FUNNY. I'LL TELL IT QUICK [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 356 00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:19,332 MY WIFE AND I WERE WALKING THROUGH THE PLAZA ATHENEE, REALLY, REALLY BEAUTIFUL HOTEL 357 00:23:19,332 --> 00:23:22,369 ON THE RIGHT BANK IN PARIS AND THERE'S TABLES ON EITHER SIDE OF THIS CORRIDOR LEADING 358 00:23:22,369 --> 00:23:25,438 TO THE FOYER AND PEOPLE SITTING, HAVING A A GLASS OR WINE OR CUP OF TEA, 359 00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:28,441 SANDWICHES AND STUFF AND AS WE PASSED, THERE WAS TWO SETS OF ELDERLY COUPLES, TWO 360 00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:33,246 LADIES AND TWO OLDER GENTLEMEN AS WE PASSED, ONE OF THE LADIES STOOD UP AND SAID, "EXCUSE ME. 361 00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:47,193 I SAID, "YEP, SORRY. "MY HUSBANDS ARE GOING OUT FOR THE NORMANDY DAY LANDINGS, THE 362 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:52,332 50th ANNIVERSARY." Jimmy: WOW. AND I WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOSH, 363 00:23:52,332 --> 00:23:54,300 AND, YOU KNOW, SHOOK THEIR HANDS AND THANKED THEM "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE," 364 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,169 ALL THAT STUFF, YOU KNOW IT WAS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING, BUT, MY GOD. 365 00:23:56,169 --> 00:24:02,842 AND THEY HADN'T BEEN TO NORMANDY SINCE THE LANDINGS, YOU KNOW 366 00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:07,547 Jimmy: OOF. AND THE PLAZA ATHENEE HAS THESE BEAUTIFUL MENUS WITH A 367 00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:12,786 A GOLD THREAD GOING THROUGH IT, YOU KNOW Jimmy: FANCY. 368 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:16,056 AND SHE SAYS, "WOULD YOU EVER GIVE US AN AUTOGRAPH? I SAID, "I'D BE HONORED. 369 00:24:16,056 --> 00:24:19,359 Jimmy: YEAH SO, SHE PASSED ME THIS. I HAVE A PEN 370 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,062 AND AS I'M ABOUT TO WRITE, SHE SAYS, "WE LOVED 'THE ENGLISH PATIENT.'" 371 00:24:22,062 --> 00:24:27,767 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, I SIGNED IT "RALPH FIENNES." 372 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:32,906 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] Jimmy: WHY RUIN IT? 373 00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:36,843 WHY RUIN IT? THEY'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY WHEN THEY MET RALPH FIENNES 374 00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:41,114 DOES RALPH KNOW THAT YOU - OH, YEAH, I'VE TOLD HIM THAT 375 00:24:41,114 --> 00:24:43,817 HE'S A GOOD PAL. Jimmy: HE'S A GOOD-- I LOVE THAT YOU LET 'EM GO-- YEAH, 376 00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:48,421 WHY NOT, RALPH FIENNES YEAH THAT'S FANTASTIC 377 00:24:48,421 --> 00:24:52,792 LET'S TALK ABOUT "MARLOWE. OKAY, THIS IS A NOIR CRIME THRILLER SET IN THE 378 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:57,664 1930s LOS ANGELES. YEAH, '38, '39. Jimmy: AND YOU PLAY A 379 00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,666 A DETECTIVE. WHICH, I THINK, GREAT CAST PRIVATE EYE 380 00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:03,303 Jimmy: A PRIVATE EYE, YEAH. JESSICA LANGE, DIANE KRUGER Jimmy: OH, YEAH 381 00:25:03,303 --> 00:25:07,841 WE HAD A GREAT, GREAT-- ALAN CUMMING Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE PLAYING 382 00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,610 A DETECTIVE, OR LIKE SET IN THE '30s IS THAT FUN FOR YOU? 383 00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:13,580 YEAH, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WEAR THE TRILBY HAT, THAT JUST SEALS IT 384 00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:16,449 Jimmy: YEAH, YOU LOOK GREAT I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S LIAM NEESON IN 385 00:25:16,449 --> 00:25:18,651 "MARLOWE." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 386 00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:32,465 YOU'RE WELCOME. HERE HE IS. MR. HANSON SENDS HIS APOLOGIES 387 00:25:32,465 --> 00:25:39,239 LYNN PETERSON'S BEING DETAINED OH. I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT 388 00:25:39,239 --> 00:25:57,190 IS THAT LYNN WITH AN X ♪ [ BLEEP 389 00:25:57,190 --> 00:26:00,660 I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 390 00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:05,265 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH 391 00:26:05,265 --> 00:26:10,937 THE SINK OVER THE FACE CHAIR OVER THE-- IT'S FANTASTIC. 392 00:26:10,937 --> 00:26:14,774 THERE IS DIALOGUE IN IT TOO, BY THE WAY Jimmy: YEAH, THERE IS 393 00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:19,145 DIALOGUE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU WERE TELLING ME THAT YOU 394 00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:29,956 IMPROVISED THAT LINE YEAH, WE DID THE LITTLE SCENE. 395 00:26:29,956 --> 00:26:31,491 I HAVE TO PICK UP MY HAT, AND THERE'S QUITE A DISTANCE TO THE DOOR 396 00:26:31,491 --> 00:26:33,593 AND I THOUGHT, THAT'S TOO LONG A PAUSE. I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING. 397 00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:35,562 SO, I THOUGHT, I'LL SHAKE MY HAND AND SAY, "I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS." 398 00:26:35,562 --> 00:26:37,197 [ LAUGHTER ] THE DIRECTOR, NEIL, SAID, "OH, KEEP THAT IN 399 00:26:37,197 --> 00:26:39,499 I LIKE THAT. Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE DOING THE ACTION SCENES? 400 00:26:39,499 --> 00:26:43,303 I LOVE IT I FEEL LIKE, SERIOUSLY, LIKE A A KID IN A TOY SHOP. 401 00:26:43,303 --> 00:26:45,205 Jimmy: YEAH HANGING OUT WITH THESE STUNT GUYS WHO ARE THERE TO MAKE ME 402 00:26:45,205 --> 00:26:48,441 LOOK GOOD. Jimmy: YEAH DO YOU LEARN THROUGHOUT YOUR 403 00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:52,612 ACTION MOVIES THAT YOU'VE DONE, CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO THROW A GOOD PUNCH, A FAKE PUNCH 404 00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:55,648 SURE. YEAH Jimmy: HOW DO I DO IT 405 00:26:55,648 --> 00:27:03,656 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE DO WE SQUARE OFF WE HAVE THREE CAMERAS. 406 00:27:03,656 --> 00:27:06,593 THING IS, NOBODY GETS HURT DOING IT Jimmy: THANK YOU. 407 00:27:06,593 --> 00:27:11,064 [ LAUGHTER ] SO, OKAY, I'M GOING TO THROW A PUNCH AT YOU 408 00:27:11,064 --> 00:27:16,102 Jimmy: OKAY IDEALLY, IF THE CAMERA'S HERE, I CAN AIM THERE. 409 00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:18,071 Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. WE CAN MAKE THE CAMERA GO THERE. 410 00:27:18,071 --> 00:27:21,141 OR MAYBE YOU GO HERE I SHOULD BE HERE. Jimmy: YEAH 411 00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:24,177 RIGHT OKAY SO, I'M GOING TO AIM THERE 412 00:27:24,177 --> 00:27:27,580 Jimmy: DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK LIKE THIS OR THAT WAY YOU REACT 413 00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:30,650 I'M JUST LIKE, "JIMMY, THAT'S THE LAST TIME. [ LAUGHTER ] 414 00:27:30,650 --> 00:27:32,318 Jimmy: I DON'T LIKE THIS ALREADY. I DON'T WANT TO ACT WITH YOU, 415 00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:34,054 YOU'RE GETTING TOO REAL. I'M JUST GIVING YOU A LINE. Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW 416 00:27:34,054 --> 00:27:37,624 THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU CHAT UP MY GIRLFRIEND. [ PUNCH SOUND 417 00:27:37,624 --> 00:27:43,530 [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: DID THAT LOOK GOOD 418 00:27:43,530 --> 00:27:49,235 BUT, JIMMY, SO, SOME STUNT GUYS WILL SAY WHEN YOU GET PUNCHED, YOU DO THAT 419 00:27:49,235 --> 00:27:52,405 Jimmy: OH, LET ME - I THINK THAT'S B.S. [ LAUGHTER ] 420 00:27:52,405 --> 00:27:57,077 IF YOU GET PUNCHED, YOU KIND OF STAY THERE A FEW SECONDS Jimmy: CAN YOU DO IT ONE 421 00:27:57,077 --> 00:27:59,612 MORE TIME? THIS TIME I'LL DO REAL GOOD ACTING 422 00:27:59,612 --> 00:28:02,015 I'M JUST GOING TO AIM THERE BUT I'M GOING TO GO PAST [ PUNCH SOUND 423 00:28:02,015 --> 00:28:04,651 Jimmy: OKAY, GOOD AND THAT'S THE SOUND EFFECT. [ LAUGHTER ] 424 00:28:04,651 --> 00:28:08,588 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PUNCH WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, BUDDY WHAT DID YOU COME HERE TO TELL 425 00:28:08,588 --> 00:28:13,026 ME, MAN? THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU CHAT UP MY GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT 426 00:28:13,026 --> 00:28:16,863 [ PUNCH SOUND [ AUDIENCE OHS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 427 00:28:16,863 --> 00:28:21,568 Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT MY ACTING COACH, LIAM NEESON, EVERYBODY. 428 00:28:21,568 --> 00:28:24,738 "MARLOWE" IS IN THEATERS NOW WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JACK WHITEHALL 429 00:28:24,738 --> 00:28:57,704 STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 430 00:28:57,704 --> 00:29:01,341 Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY ACTOR AND COMEDIAN WHO YOU CAN SEE DOING STANDUP 431 00:29:01,341 --> 00:29:05,879 ALL OVER NORTH AMERICA ON HIS "JACKARSE TOUR." 432 00:29:05,879 --> 00:29:09,683 EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME JACK WHITEHALL 433 00:29:11,618 --> 00:29:13,553 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 434 00:29:13,553 --> 00:29:22,028 ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: JACK WHITEHALL 435 00:29:22,028 --> 00:29:24,564 JACK, IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. IT'S LOVELY TO BE HERE. 436 00:29:24,564 --> 00:29:28,134 Jimmy: WELCOME BACK I KNOW-- YOU HAVE STORIES I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THIS, 437 00:29:28,134 --> 00:29:30,170 'CAUSE YOU JUST CAME BACK FROM THE SUPER BOWL OH, MY GOD, YEAH. 438 00:29:30,170 --> 00:29:33,873 THE SUPER BOWL Jimmy: NOW, YES, THAT'S A-- NOW, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? 439 00:29:33,873 --> 00:29:36,943 YES I AM NOW AWARE I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT 440 00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:40,547 I WAS ATTENDING A RIHANNA CONCERT, BUT-- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 441 00:29:40,547 --> 00:29:43,483 YES, SOME FOOTBALL DID BREAK OUT SPORADICALLY I'VE GOT TO SAY, AS WELL, 442 00:29:43,483 --> 00:29:46,519 PHILLY FANS, THEY CAN PUT THEIR ALCOHOL AWAY Jimmy: OH, YEAH, YEAH 443 00:29:46,519 --> 00:29:49,789 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH, MY GOD. Jimmy: THEY KNOW HOW TO DO 444 00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:51,157 IT I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. 445 00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:53,226 10:00 IN THE MORNING I WAS LIKE, "I'LL GO THERE EARLY. 446 00:29:53,226 --> 00:29:54,961 I'LL SOAK UP SOME OF THE ATMOSPHERE." THERE WAS A PHILLY FAN IN 447 00:29:54,961 --> 00:29:59,332 A JERSEY AND THE FACE PAINT, BIG TALLBOY OF LAGER, PEEING UP AGAINST A WALL 448 00:29:59,332 --> 00:30:04,270 GOING, "FLY EAGLES FLY." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH 449 00:30:04,270 --> 00:30:08,641 AND I HAVE TO SAY, THE MEN WEREN'T MUCH BETTER. IT WAS - 450 00:30:08,641 --> 00:30:11,244 [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. PEEING AGAINST THE WALL. 451 00:30:11,244 --> 00:30:14,514 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN-- IS IT DIFFERENT-- THERE'S NOTHING 452 00:30:14,514 --> 00:30:17,017 LIKE THAT QUITE IN ENGLAND, IS THERE? NO, THE SCALE OF IT COMPARED 453 00:30:17,017 --> 00:30:22,122 TO, LIKE, SPORT IN THE U.K LIKE, SPORT IS A JOKE. THE HALFTIME SHOW, OH, MY GOD, 454 00:30:22,122 --> 00:30:27,761 RIHANNA, AMAZING IN ENGLAND, WHEN YOU WATCH, LIKE, THE PREMIER LEAGUE, OUR 455 00:30:27,761 --> 00:30:29,496 HALFTIME SHOWS THEY JUST PUT ON, LIKE, NEIL DIAMOND'S "SWEET CAROLINE," AND SEND OUT-- 456 00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:33,900 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SEND OUT THE MASCOT. AND YOU HAVE RIHANNA DOING, 457 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,568 LIIE, A FULL-BLOWN CONCERT WITH HUNDREDS OF DANCERS AND FIREWORKS AND A LIGHT SHOW 458 00:30:35,568 --> 00:30:40,640 OURS IS A COUPLE OF LOCAL KINDERGARTEN KIDS KICKING PENALTIES PAST A GROWN MAN 459 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:46,246 DRESSED AS A DINOSAUR. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: THAT SOUNDS PRETTY 460 00:30:46,246 --> 00:30:48,314 GOOD ACTUALLY. I KNOW. Jimmy: NOT BAD. 461 00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:54,554 YESTERDAY WAS VALENTINE'S DAY. AND DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO CELEBRATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND 462 00:30:54,554 --> 00:30:56,289 I'M AFRAID I'M ON TOUR OVER HERE, AND SHE'S BACK IN ENGLAND. 463 00:30:56,289 --> 00:30:59,893 SO, IT WAS SPENT ALONE IN MY HOTEL ROOM EATING POPEYE'S CHICKEN AND WATCHING A COUPLE 464 00:30:59,893 --> 00:31:03,063 EPISODES OF "NAKED AND AFRAID. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH, MY GOD, OH, MY 465 00:31:03,063 --> 00:31:07,901 GOSH ARE YOU A ROMANTIC GUY YEAH, I MEAN, I'M QUITE A 466 00:31:07,901 --> 00:31:11,171 A ROMANTIC PERSON. SHE SENT ME GIFTS AS WELL. SHE SENT ME SOME VERY NICE 467 00:31:11,171 --> 00:31:14,641 GIFTS. Jimmy: OH, SHE DID? YEAH, BUT SHE DOESN'T - 468 00:31:14,641 --> 00:31:16,910 SHE JUST BUYS ME PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PRESENTS NOW. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 469 00:31:16,910 --> 00:31:19,079 SO, LIKE, IT WAS JUST LIKE A A LOAD OF TOILETRIES AND CLEANING PRODUCTS, 'CAUSE SHE 470 00:31:19,079 --> 00:31:20,547 THINKS I WON'T WASH WHEN I'M ON TOUR [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 471 00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:23,450 SHE, LIKE, HAS A HABIT OF DOING THIS SHE DID IT, ACTUALLY, ON 472 00:31:23,450 --> 00:31:26,453 CHRISTMAS. SHE BOUGHT ME SOMETHING CALLED THE MANSCAPER. 473 00:31:26,453 --> 00:31:30,724 ARE YOU AWARE OF-- DO YOU-- ARE YOU A MANSCAPER YOURSELF Jimmy: THAT'S-- I'M WAY 474 00:31:30,724 --> 00:31:34,127 PAST THAT. NO, I DON' WHAT? 475 00:31:34,127 --> 00:31:37,297 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT SURPRISES ME. I LOOK AT YOU AND I WOULD BE 476 00:31:37,297 --> 00:31:41,101 LIKE, "THIS GUY IS LIKE A DOLPHIN FROM THE NECK DOWN." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 477 00:31:41,101 --> 00:31:48,108 YOU LOOK SO SMOOTH YOU MUST MANSCAPE. Jimmy: IN SOME WAYS, I AM 478 00:31:48,108 --> 00:31:50,343 [ LAUGHTER ] IN SOME WAYS I AM. YES, I WALKED IN ON YOU IN 479 00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:54,781 YOUR DRESSING ROOM, AND THAT'S A BLOWHOLE [ LAUGHTER ] 480 00:31:54,781 --> 00:31:58,585 Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT IT IS. STOP, ROLL THAT BACK IN Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH 481 00:31:58,585 --> 00:32:00,520 YEAH, BUT SO, I USE THE MANSCAPER, 'CAUSE I, PREVIOUSLY WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, CHEWBACCA 482 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,656 FROM THE NECK DOWN AND I WAS LIKE - WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND GAVE ME 483 00:32:03,656 --> 00:32:06,793 THIS MANSCAPER-- PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PRESENT Jimmy: THAT'S NICE. 484 00:32:06,793 --> 00:32:08,661 THAT'S NICE OF HER "DEAL WITH YOURSELF." SO ANYWAY-- I STARTED-- 485 00:32:08,661 --> 00:32:11,331 SORRY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I'M GOING INTO QUITE A LOT OF 486 00:32:11,331 --> 00:32:15,068 DETAIL HERE. SORRY TO PUT ANYONE OFF THEIR DINNER PLANS 487 00:32:15,068 --> 00:32:17,737 I STARTED KEEPING MYSELF A A LITTLE BIT TIDY. I HAD THIS AWKWARD SITUATION 488 00:32:17,737 --> 00:32:20,674 THOUGH, BECAUSE I WAS USING THE MANSCAPER AND I LOOKED DOWN AND I SAW A RED HAIR 489 00:32:20,674 --> 00:32:24,077 AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. MAYBE I'M GOING GINGER DOWN THERE. 490 00:32:24,077 --> 00:32:28,448 [ LAUGHTER ] I GOOGLED IT NOT, LIKE, A THING 491 00:32:28,448 --> 00:32:31,284 SO, THEN I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. WELL, THEN WHOSE HAIR IS IT? 492 00:32:31,284 --> 00:32:36,089 [ LAUGHTER ] "ANOTHER MAN HAS BEEN SCAPING IN MY BODY." 493 00:32:36,089 --> 00:32:39,159 AND SHE CAME BACK FROM THE SHOW, I CONFRONTED HER HOLDING ALOFT, THIS HAIR, I WAS 494 00:32:39,159 --> 00:32:42,095 LIKE, "WHO IS HE WHERE IS HE? SHE CAME CLEAN 495 00:32:42,095 --> 00:32:45,165 SHE WAS LAUGHING IN MY FACE. DO YOU KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE SHE ADMITTED SHE HAD BEEN USING 496 00:32:45,165 --> 00:32:54,908 MY MANSCAPER ON THE DOG. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: WELL, THERE YOU GO 497 00:32:54,908 --> 00:32:58,578 THE DOG LOOKS GREAT. OH, YEAH, THE DOG, COCO, LOOKES-- LOVELY LITTLE 498 00:32:58,578 --> 00:33:02,449 BRAZILIAN. Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 499 00:33:02,449 --> 00:33:05,318 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE ON TOUR ALL ACROSS NORTH AMERICA LOOK, YOU'RE IN PHILLY 500 00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:08,355 FEBRUARY 16th-- TOMORROW YOU'RE IN PHILLY AT THE MILLER THEATER. 501 00:33:08,355 --> 00:33:13,059 THEN YOU'RE BACK HERE THIS FRIDAY AT THE BEACON THEATER IN NEW YORK 502 00:33:13,059 --> 00:33:15,762 THAT'S FUN IN NEW YORK SO EXCITING Jimmy: DO YOU - 503 00:33:15,762 --> 00:33:18,631 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR 504 00:33:18,631 --> 00:33:24,204 FIRST GIG IN AMERICA I DO. IT WAS-- YES. 505 00:33:24,204 --> 00:33:29,342 IT WAS NOT AS PRESTIGIOUS AS THE BEACON THEATER IN NEW YORK IT WAS ACTUALLY JUST AFTER I'D 506 00:33:29,342 --> 00:33:33,079 DONE MY U.K. TOUR, AND I'D FINISHED AT WEMBLEY STADIUM. Jimmy: WOW. 507 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:35,882 AND HAD THIS AMAZING EXPERIENCE IT WAS SO COOL 508 00:33:35,882 --> 00:33:39,619 AND I FLEW OVER TO L.A., AND I SAID TO MY AGENT, "YEAH, JUST BOOK ME A GIG SO, YOU KNOW, I 509 00:33:39,619 --> 00:33:43,857 DON'T GET TOO RUSTY. AND HE SENT ME THE ADDRESS OF THE GIG, AND I ARRIVED AT THE 510 00:33:43,857 --> 00:33:47,794 ADDRESS. AND I LOOKED UP, AND IT WAS A SEX SHOP 511 00:33:47,794 --> 00:33:51,398 [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF JOKE." 512 00:33:51,398 --> 00:33:53,700 I WALKED IN. I LOOKED AROUND. I CALLED MY AGENT. 513 00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:56,870 "HA, HA, VERY FUNNY. YOU'VE SENT ME THE ADDRESS FOR A SEX SHOP." 514 00:33:56,870 --> 00:34:00,707 AND HE WENT, "NO, THAT'S WHERE THE GIG IS IT'S LIKE A QUIRKY ALTERNATIVE 515 00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:05,745 NIGHT. THEY JUST PUT OUT SOME CHAIRS, AND THE SHOW IS IN A SEX SHOP. 516 00:34:05,745 --> 00:34:08,481 AND I SAID, "WELL, I'M SORRY I DO HAVE SOME STANDARDS, AND THIS DOES NOT MEET THE 517 00:34:08,481 --> 00:34:12,185 THRESHOLD FOR WHAT I'M WILLING-- I'M NOT PERFORMING IN A SEX 518 00:34:12,185 --> 00:34:16,122 SHOP." AND I HUNG UP. I SAID, YOU KNOW, "JUST MAKE AN 519 00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:18,425 EXCUSE SAY THAT I'M DELAYED, OR MY PLANE CRASHED INTO THE OCEAN 520 00:34:18,425 --> 00:34:21,127 I DON'T CARE I'M NOT DOING THE SHOW IN A SEX SHOP." 521 00:34:21,127 --> 00:34:23,763 Jimmy: YES. AND THEN THE BLOODY OWNER OF THE GIG COMES OVER 522 00:34:23,763 --> 00:34:26,266 HE'S LIKE, "ARE YOU HERE FOR THE COMEDY." AND I WAS LIKE, "NO. 523 00:34:26,266 --> 00:34:29,069 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN REALIZED BECAUSE I'D SAID, "NO," THAT I WOULD HAVE 524 00:34:29,069 --> 00:34:34,708 TO ACT LIKE I WAS JUST A A CUSTOMER IN THE SEX SHOP [ LAUGHTER ] 525 00:34:34,708 --> 00:34:39,846 SO, I WAS LIKE, BROWSING THROUGH SOME OF THE ITEMS. TRYING ON A COUPLE OF NIPPLE 526 00:34:39,846 --> 00:34:42,682 TASSELS. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: OH, MY GOD 527 00:34:42,682 --> 00:34:44,984 I WALKED STRAIGHT OUT OF THERE. I WAS LIKE, "THIS IS-- THIS 528 00:34:44,984 --> 00:34:47,921 TOO HUMILIATING EVEN FOR ME. SO, I'M SO PLEASED, THAT ON THIS TOUR, AS YOU CAN SEE, 529 00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:50,990 THERE'S NOT A SINGLE SEX SHOP. [ LAUGHTER ] Jimmy: BUT HE IS 530 00:34:50,990 --> 00:34:53,927 AVAILABLE-- HE'S AVAILABLE FOR BOOKINGS AT SEX SHOPS. HE'S THE ONE AND ONLY 531 00:34:53,927 --> 00:34:57,530 JACK WHITEHALL, EVERYBODY. YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 532 00:34:57,530 --> 00:35:02,235 Jimmy: FOR MORE INFO ON JACK'S TOUR, GO TO JACKWHITEHALL.COM. 533 00:35:02,235 --> 00:35:06,840 ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE YOU, BUDDY MORE "TONIGHT SHOW" AFTER THE BREAK. 534 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:34,067 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ♪ 535 00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:39,139 Jimmy: PERFORMING HIS NUMBER ONE PLATINUM HIT "WHISKEY ON YOU," FROM HIS UPCOMING 536 00:35:39,139 --> 00:35:46,212 SELF-TITLED ALBUM, GIVE IT UP FOR NATE SMITH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 537 00:35:46,212 --> 00:35:46,246 FOR NATE SMITH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 538 00:35:55,522 --> 00:35:59,192 ♪ NOW I'VE WASTED A PAYCHEC ON WHISKEY AND LONG NECK 539 00:35:59,192 --> 00:36:05,398 EVER SINCE YOU LEFT TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT ♪ ♪ THIS JACK I'VE BEEN 540 00:36:05,398 --> 00:36:10,870 DRINKING'S BEEN WASTED O THINKING NOW I GOT A NEW ♪ ♪ REASON FOR THROWING E 541 00:36:10,870 --> 00:36:15,475 DOWN, LINE 'EM U LINE 'EM UP ♪ ♪ POUR 'EM TALL 542 00:36:15,475 --> 00:36:20,714 POUR 'EM TAL HERE'S TO US ♪ ♪ HAPPILY NEVER AFTER ALL 543 00:36:20,714 --> 00:36:30,457 AIN'T GONNA WASTE ONE MORE NIGHT MISSING WANTING YOU ♪ ♪ BACK NO, I AIN'T GONNA CR 544 00:36:30,457 --> 00:36:33,193 ANOTHER TEAR IN THIS GLASS YOU DIDN'T WASTE ANY TIME ♪ ♪ FINDING SOMEBODY NE 545 00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:36,463 SO I AIN'T GONNA WASTE ANOTHER DROP OF ♪ ♪ WHISKEY ON YO 546 00:36:36,463 --> 00:36:46,506 NO I AIN'T TO HELL WITH THE LONELY ♪ ♪ AND THE WHY DON'T 547 00:36:46,506 --> 00:36:51,644 YOU WANT ME YEAH BARTENDER POUR ME ♪ ♪ A FAREWELL ROUN 548 00:36:51,644 --> 00:36:55,081 LINE 'EM U LINE 'EM UP ♪ ♪ MAKE 'EM STRONG 549 00:36:55,081 --> 00:37:00,520 MAKE 'EM STRON TELL THE BAND THAT I ♪ ♪ NEED ME A DRINKING SONG 550 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:04,324 AIN'T GONNA WASTE ON MORE NIGHT MISSING ♪ ♪ WANTING YOU BAC 551 00:37:04,324 --> 00:37:10,897 NO, I AIN'T GONNA CR ANOTHER TEAR IN THIS GLASS ♪ ♪ YOU DIDN'T WASTE ANY TIME 552 00:37:10,897 --> 00:37:16,469 FINDING SOMEBODY NEW SO, I AIN'T GONNA WASTE ♪ ♪ ANOTHER DROP OF 553 00:37:16,469 --> 00:37:20,840 WHISKEY ON YOU NO, I AIN'T GONNA WASTE ♪ ♪ ANOTHER DROP OF 554 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:36,156 WHISKEY ON YOU NO, I AIN'T ♪ ♪ NO, I AIN'T 555 00:37:36,156 --> 00:37:40,727 GONNA WASTE ANOTHE DROP OF WHISKEY ♪ ♪ ON YOU, N 556 00:37:40,727 --> 00:37:45,065 GONNA WASTE ANOTHE DROP OF WHISKEY ON YOU ♪ ♪ LINE 'EM UP 557 00:37:45,065 --> 00:37:48,601 LINE 'EM U POUR 'EM TALL ♪ ♪ POUR 'EM TALL 558 00:37:48,601 --> 00:37:54,708 HERE'S TO US HAPPILY NEVER AFTER ALL ♪ ♪ AIN'T GONNA WASTE ONE MOR 559 00:37:54,708 --> 00:38:00,013 NIGHT MISSING WANTIN YOU BACK NO, I AIN'T ♪ ♪ GONNA CRY ANOTHER 560 00:38:00,013 --> 00:38:06,519 TEAR IN THIS GLASS YOU DIDN'T WASTE ANY TIME ♪ ♪ FINDING SOMEBODY NE 561 00:38:06,519 --> 00:38:12,425 SO, I AIN'T GONNA WAST ANOTHER DROP OF ♪ ♪ WHISKEY ON YO 562 00:38:12,425 --> 00:38:15,161 NO, I AIN'T GONNA WAST ANOTHER DROP OF ♪ ♪ WHISKEY ON YO 563 00:38:15,161 --> 00:38:18,565 NO, I AIN'T, YEAH GONNA WASTE ANOTHER ♪ ♪ DROP OF WHISKEY ON YO 564 00:38:18,565 --> 00:38:24,904 NO, I AIN'T GONNA WASTE ANOTHER ♪ ♪ DROP OF WHISKEY ON YO 565 00:38:24,904 --> 00:38:27,941 GONNA WASTE ANOTHE DROP OF WHISKEY ON YOU ♪ ♪ NO, I AIN'T GONNA WASTE 566 00:38:27,941 --> 00:38:36,916 ANOTHER DROP O WHISKEY ON YOU ♪ ♪ NO, I AIN'T 567 00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:41,721 NO, I AIN'T GONNA WAST ANOTHER DROP O WHISKEY ON YOU ♪ 568 00:38:41,721 --> 00:38:47,961 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Jimmy: COME ON NOW. COME ON. 569 00:38:47,961 --> 00:38:54,200 THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE, BUDDY NATE SMITH RIGHT THERE 570 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,137 DEBUT ALBUM IS OUT APRIL 28th! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 571 00:38:57,137 --> 00:39:23,596 ♪ Jimmy: MY THANKS TO LIAM NEESON, JACK WHITEHALL, 572 00:39:23,596 --> 00:39:29,302 NATE SMITH, ONCE AGAIN, RIGHT HERE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM 573 00:39:29,302 --> 00:39:33,340 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 574 00:39:33,340 --> 00:39:36,509 SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY BYE-BYE, THANK YOU