1 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:15,515 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:22,622 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:26,359 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - CHRISTOPH WALTZ, 4 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:30,296 TIG NOTARO MUSIC GUEST FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS 5 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:36,970 AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1794 6 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:43,376 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:46,446 --> 00:01:04,597 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:09,636 >> Jimmy: OH, MAN. OH, WOW. THANK YOU! 9 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,839 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HI AND WELCOME WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 10 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:17,277 "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:21,348 YOU'RE WATCHING IT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELL, GUYS, EARLIER TONIGHT, 12 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:27,354 PRESIDENT BIDEN DELIVERED THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS YEAH, OF COURSE DEMOCRATS SPENT 13 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,290 MOST OF THE NIGHT CLAPPING FOR BIDEN. IT WASN'T FOR ANYTHING HE SAID, 14 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,460 THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO KEEP HIM AWAKE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 15 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:37,964 THEY WERE LIKE, "HEY HEY! IT WAS A TOUGH NIGHT FOR ALL OF 16 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:41,234 BIDEN'S STAFFERS WATCHING FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 'CAUSE EVERY TIME PEOPLE 17 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,838 CLAPPED, THE LIGHTS WENT ON AND OFF. [ LAUGHTER ] 18 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:52,278 [ CLAPPING ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S THE SAME THING EVERY YEAR 19 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:56,116 ONE SIDE STANDS AND CLAPS. THE OTHER SIDE SITS STILL, NOT HAVING ANY FUN 20 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,718 IT REMINDS ME OF MY COUSIN'S WEDDING. [ LAUGHTER ] 21 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:02,122 "I GIVE IT SIX MONTHS! [ LAUGHTER ] NOW, BIDEN ALSO TALKED ABOUT 22 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,392 HIS ACHIEVEMENTS HE SAID, "WE PASSED AN INFRASTRUCTURE BILL. 23 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:08,228 WE REDUCED INFLATION AND WE FINALLY CONVINCED TOM BRADY TO RETIRE. 24 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:14,367 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SO I THINK IT'S A GREAT YEAR IN HIS SPEECH, BIDEN CALLED FOR 25 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,971 BIPARTISANSHIP AND UNITY HE WAS LIKE, "AS DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS, WE HAVE ONE COMMON 26 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,441 GOAL TO MISHANDLE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS. 27 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:25,512 [ LAUGHTER ] THERE WAS WALL TO WALL COVERAGE OF THE STATE OF THE UNION ON 28 00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:31,718 ALL THE MAJOR NETWORKS, LIKE, NBC, ABC, AND CBS. MEANWHILE NETFLIX IS LIKE 29 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:34,888 CA-CHING [ LAUGHTER ] I READ THAT BIDEN'S APPROVAL 30 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:42,562 RATING CURRENTLY STANDS AT 42%, JUST ABOVE THE 41% HE HAD AT LAST YEAR'S STATE OF THE UNION 31 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:46,166 THAT'S TOUGH IT'S LIKE EATING KALE FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR THEN REALIZING YOU 32 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,002 ONLY LOST ONE POUND. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU GO, "I DID THIS FOR A WHOLE 33 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:53,173 YEAR." AT THE STATE OF THE UNION, BIDEN WAS EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT 34 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:58,111 ALL OF HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS I THINK HE EVEN WANTED TO MESS WITH CHINA A LITTLE BIT. 35 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,346 TAKE A LOOK AT HIS ENTRANCE TONIGHT. 36 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:07,354 OF THE UNITED STATES * ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN NO MATTER WHAT 37 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,657 GOT MONEY ON MY MIND I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH * [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 38 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,726 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW HE ENTERED. THAT'S HOW HE ENTERED. 39 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:16,663 >> Steve: RUBBING IT IN THEIR FACE MY GOODNESS. 40 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,832 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT IS AN ENTRANCE, RIGHT THERE. 41 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,468 >> Steve: THAT IS AN ENTRANCE. >> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, SPEAKING OF THE BALLOON, 42 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:25,171 THE U.S. NAVY HAS STARTED TO RECOVER PARTS OF THE CHINESE BALLOON THAT WAS SHOT DOWN OVER 43 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:29,109 THE ATLANTIC OCEAN NOT ONLY DID WE FIND THE BALLOON, ALL THE NAVY DIVERS 44 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:33,079 CAME BACK SPEAKING IN THAT FUNNY HELIUM VOICE [ LAUGHTER ] 45 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:37,417 "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! LISTEN TO THIS, GUYS TODAY, SPEAKER KEVIN McCARTHY 46 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:41,488 SUGGESTED THAT CONGRESSMAN GEORGE SANTOS WILL FACE A HOUSE INVESTIGATION. 47 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:47,494 [ AUDIENCE OOHS THE SPECIFIC CHARGES ARE EVERYTHING 48 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:51,865 [ LAUGHTER ] SOME NEWS FROM OVERSEAS. I SAW THAT KIM JONG-UN JUST 49 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:57,771 REAPPEARED IN PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 36 DAYS. TOUGH NEWS FOR NORTH KOREA, 50 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:01,274 WHEN KIM JONG-UN EMERGED, HE SAW HIS SHADOW WHICH MEANS SIX MORE WEEKS OF DICTATORSHIP 51 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:11,217 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE KIM JONG-UN HADN'T ATTENDED ANY 52 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:15,355 SOCIAL FUNCTIONS IN OVER A A MONTH, SO EITHER SOMETHING IS WRONG OR HE WAS JUST DOING DRY 53 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:20,493 JANUARY. [ LAUGHTER ] SWITCHING GEARS, TOM BRADY 54 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:24,964 ANNOUNCED THAT NEXT YEAR HE WILL START HIS BROADCASTING CAREER AT FOX SPORTS 55 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:28,735 BUT THE STATEMENT FROM FOX SPORTS SEEMED A BIT OFF. HERE, CHECK THIS OUT 56 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:28,768 SPORTS SEEMED A BIT OFF. HERE, CHECK THIS OUT 57 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:34,374 WELCOME TOM BRADY AND HIS BLUE EYES TO OUR BROADCASTING TEAM. 58 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:37,544 ER, I MEAN - TOM BRADY HAS INVALUABLE CHEEKBONES ABOUT FOOTBALL 59 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:40,280 AND -- [ CLEARS THROAT LET ME START OVER. 60 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,983 OUR NETWORK NEEDS SOMEONE LIKE TOM DIMPLES. I MEAN, TOM SIX PACK 61 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:49,255 I MEAN -- WHATEVER TOM BRADY IS SPORTS TALK GUY FOR US NOW 62 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:54,828 GOTTA GO BYEEEE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 63 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,531 >> Steve: I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D RELEASE THAT >> Jimmy: HUH? 64 00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:01,067 >> Steve: I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D RELEASE THAT YOU'D THINK THEY'D GO, "OH, WE 65 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,136 MADE A MISTAKE WE'LL KEEP IT BACK." YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 66 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,305 BUT THEY LET IT OUT THERE. THAT'S GREAT >> Jimmy: I THINK THEY JUST 67 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,041 WENT WITH A LIVE COMMERCIAL AND THEY JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU JUST 68 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,677 GOT TO PUT THAT OUT THERE. >> Steve: KEEP ON GOING, YEAH. >> Jimmy: BREAKING NEWS. 69 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,046 >> Steve: YEAH, EXACTLY. LIVE COMMERCIALS EVERYBODY LOVES THEM 70 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,215 >> Jimmy: YEAH, SO FUN [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WELL, PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT 71 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,450 THIS APPARENTLY THE "YELLOWSTONE" SERIES STARRING KEVIN COSTNER 72 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:21,921 IS SET TO END. [ AUDIENCE AWS ] AND A SPINOFF STARRING 73 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:25,225 MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY COULD BE IN THE WORKS. [ AUDIENCE OOHS 74 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,927 THEY ALREADY HAVE A TITLE FOR IT, IT'S GOING TO BE CALLED "YELLOWSTONED. 75 00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:32,198 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S GENIUS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 76 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:37,237 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA I'D WATCH THAT YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT A KIA 77 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:40,674 RECALL IT'S NOT GREAT TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 78 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:40,707 IT'S NOT GREAT TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 79 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,078 A KIA SUV. THE COMPANY IS RECALLING THE 80 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:50,784 TELLURIDE THREE-ROW SUV OVER FAULTY SECOND ROW SIDE AIR BAGS 81 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:54,821 >> Tariq: AW, MAN, I JUST BOUGHT A KIA SUV >> Jimmy: OH, JEEZ 82 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,991 SORRY, TARIQ >> Tariq: IT'S ALL GOOD. I MEAN, AT LEAST I STILL HAVE 83 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:02,929 MY TRUSTY HONDA. IT'S AN OLDER VEHICLE, BUT THAT'S OKAY. 84 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:08,101 >> Jimmy: OH >> Tariq: OH, WHAT >> Jimmy: ROLL THE CLIP. 85 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:08,134 >> Tariq: OH, WHAT >> Jimmy: ROLL THE CLIP. 86 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,339 MORNING. HONDA IS URGING OWNERS OF 87 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:17,143 AROUND 8,000 OLDER VEHICLES TO NOT DRIVE THEM THE AIR BAG INFLATERS HAVE A 88 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:22,582 A HIGH POSSIBILITY OF EXPLODING AND HURLING SHRAPNEL IN A CRASH. 89 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,452 >> Tariq: WHAT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO MY FRIEND'S SUPER BOWL PARTY THIS 90 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:29,389 WEEKEND? >> Jimmy: I'M NOT SURE I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT, TARIQ. 91 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,458 >> Tariq: I HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT. I WAS GOING TO BRING MY 92 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:36,062 CHARCUTERIE BOARD. I BOUGHT SIX DIFFERENCE PACKAGES -- EXCUSE ME, EIGHT 93 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:40,333 PACKAGES EIGHT DIFFERENT PACKAGES OF READY TO EAT MEATS 94 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:40,367 EIGHT DIFFERENT PACKAGES OF READY TO EAT MEATS 95 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,137 IT DEALS WITH YOUR CHARCUTERIE BOARD. 96 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,207 SIX DIFFERENT PACKAGES -- EXCUSE ME, EIGHT DIFFERENT PACKAGES OF READY TO EAT MEAT 97 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:51,344 COULD BE CONTAMINATED WITH LISTERIA [ LAUGHTER ] 98 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:54,414 >> Tariq: COME ON. >> Jimmy: IT'S A TOUGH BREAK IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU 99 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,551 CAN BRING TO THE PARTY >> THANKFULLY I'M ALWAYS PREPARED 100 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:04,024 IN MY KITCHEN RIGHT NOW I'VE GOT LIKE 2.5 MILLION POUNDS OF CANNED MEAT. 101 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,659 >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO THAT'S PERFECT WHAT TIME IS THE PARTY 102 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:12,132 >> KICKOFF IS AT 6:30, BUT I'LL GET THERE A LITTLE BIT EARLY, AROUND 6:24. 103 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,066 AROUND 6:24. 6:24 104 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:15,835 6:24 105 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:18,238 [ LAUGHTER ] A RECALL ALERT FOR SOMETHING THAT MAY BE IN YOUR KITCHEN 106 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,941 RIGHT NOW. CONAGRA IS RECALLING MORE THAN 2.5 MILLION POUNDS OF CANNED 107 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:26,446 MEAT >> Tariq: YOU KIDDING ME >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING 108 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:30,684 ELSE >> Tariq: I'D HAVE TO CHECK MY PANTRIES 109 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:35,088 MAYBE MY RAO'S I HAVE SOME 16 OUNCE JARS OF MADE FOR HOME SLOW SIMMERED 110 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:41,895 SOUP THEY'RE LABELED CHICKEN AND GNOCCHI? 111 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:41,928 THEY'RE LABELED CHICKEN AND GNOCCHI? 112 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,565 AT 5:30. CHECK YOUR PANTRIES. 113 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:52,339 RAO'S RECALLING SOME 16 OUNCE JARS OF MADE FOR HOME SLOW SIMMERED SOUP. 114 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:58,144 THE AFFECTED JARS ARE LABELED CHICKEN AND GNOCCHI? [ LAUGHTER ] 115 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,848 >> Tariq: MAN, I GIVE UP >> Jimmy: WHY DON'T YOU COME TO MY SUPER BOWL PARTY. 116 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:06,319 >> SURE. WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW I LIVE ABOVE 117 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,489 TWO RIVERS COFFEE, SO WE'RE GOING TO DO A HOT COCOA PARTY. BECAUSE THEY HAVE THESE COOL 118 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,792 PEANUT BUTTER HOT CHOCOLATE PODS INCLUDING BROOKLYN PEANUT BUTTER CUP HOT COCOA, PINGO 119 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:19,466 PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE HOT CHOCOLATE, AND COLD STONE PEANUT BUTTER CUP PERFECTION 120 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:24,037 >> Tariq: OH >> Jimmy: OH, WHAT >> ROLL THE CLIP 121 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:24,037 >> Jimmy: OH, WHAT >> ROLL THE CLIP 122 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,873 >> TWO RIVERS COFFEE IS RECALLING IT'S PEANUT BUTTER 123 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:32,045 HOT CHOCOLATE PODS INCLUDING BROOKLYN BEAN PEANUT BUTTER CUP HOT COCOA, PINGO 124 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,849 PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE HOT CHOCOLATE, AND COLD STONE PEANUT BUTTER CUP PERFECTION 125 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,785 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT 126 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,421 JUST COME OVER AND WE'LL REWATCH THE GRAMMYS. TARIQ TROTTER, EVERYBODY 127 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:49,195 >> Tariq: JIMMY FALLON [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: DIFFICULT -- 128 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:54,067 DIFFICULT TO MAKE PLANS. FINALLY, EXPERTS IN CALIFORNIA DISCOVERED A PRETTY CRAZY ISSUE 129 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,702 AT ONE HOUSE CHECK THIS OUT 130 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,139 >> A PEST CONTROL COMPANY ENCOUNTERED A HOME THAT HAD BEEN EXPERIENCING DAMAGE FROM 131 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:03,009 A WOODPECKER AND LOOK AT THIS, THE BIRD HAD BEEN STORING ACORNS IN THE 132 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:09,315 HOME'S WALLS THEY WERE PILED UP ALL THE WAY TO THE ATTIC 133 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,217 700 POUNDS OF ACORNS POURED OUT OF THE WALL. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 134 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,553 >> Jimmy: THE WOODPECKER WAS LIKE, "WELL, THERE GOES MY SUPER BOWL PARTY 135 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,422 [ LAUGHTER ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, 136 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,022 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 137 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,692 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 138 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:30,070 * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYONE 139 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:34,107 WELCOME. BEFORE WE START THE SHOW, I JUST WANT TO MENTION UNICEF IS 140 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:39,045 ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW SUPPORTING OUR FRIENDS IN SYRIA AND TURKEY 141 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:42,415 THEY'RE PROVIDING ACCESS TO CLEAN WATER, FOOD, AND MUCH MORE 142 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:47,053 SO, IF YOU'RE ABLE TO GIVE, PLEASE VISIT UNICEFUSA.ORG/TONIGHTSHOW. 143 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,957 EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS. WE APPRECIATE IT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 144 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:55,862 THANK YOU. WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 145 00:09:55,862 --> 00:10:01,334 HE STARS IN THE NEW SERIES "THE CONSULTANT," WHICH PREMIERES FEBRUARY 24th ON PRIME VIDEO, 146 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:06,906 CHRISTOPH WALTZ IS HERE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: COME ON. 147 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:11,945 >> Jimmy: CHRISTOPH WALTZ, ALSO CHRISTOPH WALTZ SOMETIMES. >> Steve: WALTZ. 148 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,913 >> Jimmy: CHRISTOPH WALTZ SOMETIMES? >> Steve: YEAH 149 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:16,082 >> Jimmy: BUT YOU CAN CALL IT WALTZ OR WALTZ IT'S UP TO YOU 150 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:20,253 EITHER WAY I LOVE THE GUY. >> Audience: WALZER. >> Jimmy: WHAT 151 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,422 WALZER >> Audience: WALZER. >> Jimmy: WALZER 152 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:25,058 CHRISTOPH WALZER >> Audience: WALZER. >> Jimmy: WALZER 153 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,994 >> Audience: WALZER. >> Steve: WAIT, I CAN'T -- >> Jimmy: HOLD ON. 154 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:31,498 >> Steve: ONE AT A TIME. >> Jimmy: WAIT, WHAT IS IT >> Audience: WALZER. 155 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,000 >> Jimmy: WALZER [ AUDIENCE SHOUTING CAN YOU HEAR WHAT THEY'RE 156 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,404 SAYING NO, IT'S NOT MEOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 157 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:41,107 >> Jimmy: WHAT IS IT CHRISTOPH WALZER >> Steve: IT'S NOT "VICE." 158 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:44,611 >> WALZER. >> SCIENCE [ LAUGHTER ] 159 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,147 >> Jimmy: SCIENCE. * * SHE BLINDED M 160 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:52,152 WITH SCIENCE SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE * 161 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:56,089 >> Jimmy: WAIT, WALZER >> Audience: WALZER. >> Jimmy: I CAN'T HEAR WHAT 162 00:10:56,089 --> 00:11:01,061 YOU'RE SAYING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHO SAID IT? 163 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:06,066 WHAT IS IT WHO SAID IT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 164 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:11,938 ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK? WHY COULDN'T YOU GET A BETTER SEAT 165 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,473 [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT IS IT SORRY. 166 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:17,844 ALL RIGHT, SORRY, ROOTS. YES. >> CHRISTOPH WALZER. 167 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:21,881 >> Jimmy: CHRISTOPH WALZER >> WALZER. WALZER 168 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,650 >> Jimmy: LET ME WATCH YOUR MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ] 169 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,952 WALZER >> WALZER. >> Jimmy: WALZER 170 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,687 >> WALZER. >> Jimmy: WALZER >> WALZER. 171 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,423 >> Jimmy: WALZER >> WALZER. >> Jimmy: WALZER 172 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,093 >> WE HAVE AN "L." WE HAVE AN "L. >> Jimmy: OH, WALZER 173 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,895 WHEN DOES THE "L" COME IN? >> THE THIRD >> WALZER. 174 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,631 >> Jimmy: WALZER WALZER >> WALZER. 175 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:43,636 >> Jimmy: WALZER >> YEAH, ALMOST. >> Jimmy: WALZER 176 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:51,111 OH MY GOSH >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: DIDN'T HELP ME AT 177 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,179 ALL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NO, IT'S TERRIBLE. 178 00:11:53,179 --> 00:12:03,556 CHRISTOPH WALZER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CHRISTOPH WALTZ. 179 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:11,064 * >> Steve: YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S CHRIS WALTZ. 180 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,066 [ LAUGHTER ] LET'S MAKE IT EASY ON OURSELVES. 181 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:16,236 >> Jimmy: NO, NOT AT ALL EITHER WAY, IS THE GUY BAD IN ANYTHING YOU EVER SEEN IN YOUR 182 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,204 LIFE >> Steve: NEVER. >> Jimmy: HE IS FANTASTIC IN 183 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,707 EVERY SINGLE THING I LOVE THE GUY SO MUCH NO MATTER WHAT YOU CALL HIM 184 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:30,216 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: HEY, SHUT YOUR MOUTH I'M TALKING ABOUT CHRISTOPH. 185 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,985 >> Jimmy: YEAH * >> Steve: THANK YOU. 186 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,953 WOW. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> Steve: IT'S THAT KIND OF 187 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,922 DAY, RIGHT >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING 188 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,425 >> Steve: IT'S FRIDAY, THOUGH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT HE'S HERE. HE'S HERE. 189 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,293 CHRISTOPH IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I DO LOVE THE GUY. 190 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,462 PLUS, YOU CAN SEE HER IN THE NEW ROMANTIC COMEDY, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE," WHICH BEGINS 191 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,764 STREAMING ON NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY MAN, SHE IS SO FUNNY 192 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,167 TIG NOTARO IS HERE TONIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE'S GREAT IN THIS MOVIE AS 193 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,469 WELL OH, SPEAKING OF GREAT, WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM FITZ AND 194 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,104 THE TANTRUMS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STICK AROUND 195 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,772 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "WETWEET," EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 196 00:12:52,772 --> 00:13:02,048 * >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU FIVE DIFFERENT TWEETS AND WE'RE 197 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:05,051 ALL GOING TO VOTE ON WHETHER YOU LIKE EACH ONE OR NOT NEXT UP IT SAYS, "NO PHRASE 198 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,921 HAVE EVER BEEN WORSE AT IT'S JOB THAN THE WORDS 'CALM DOWN.'" [ LAUGHTER ] 199 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:28,141 >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: THE PHRASE "CALM DOWN" IS DEAD. 200 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:32,278 >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW IT IS TIME FOR "WETWEET. 201 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:33,079 IT IS TIME FOR "WETWEET. HERE WE GO 202 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:38,084 * WETWEET 203 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:42,889 WETWEET * >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO "WETWEET. THIS IS WHERE WE, AS A GROUP, 204 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:46,493 DECIDE SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULD POST ON TWITTER. I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU FIVE 205 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,895 DIFFERENT TWEETS WE'RE ALL GOING TO VOTE ON WHETHER YOU LIKE EACH ONE OR 206 00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,631 NOT. YOU ALL HAVE VOTING CLICKERS AT YOUR SEATS 207 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:55,468 YEP. YOU CAN VOTE FOR ALL OF THESE. YOU CAN VOTE FOR NONE OF THEM. 208 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,638 WHATEVER YOU WANT. AND WE'LL SEE THE RESULTS LIVE HIGGINS, ROOTS, YOU HAVE YOUR 209 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,141 CLICKERS, TOO? >> Steve: CLICK AWAY >> Jimmy: WHATEVER TWEET GETS 210 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,043 THE MOST LIKES, WE WILL TWEET IT OUT LIVE WHEN IT SHOWS AT -- YOU CAN ALL LIKE IT AND 211 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:08,048 "WETWEET" IT [ LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: AH 212 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,883 >> Jimmy: IT'S A SHARED EXPERIENCE ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS READY FOR 213 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,085 THIS HERE WE GO THE FIRST TWEET IS "I ALWAYS 214 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:15,588 THANK MY ALEXA, SO WHEN THE MACHINES TAKE OVER, THEY KNOW I'M ONE OF THE GOOD ONES." 215 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:19,826 [ LAUGHTER ] * I LIKE THAT ONE. 216 00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,128 >> Steve: I LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: YEAH THE VOTES ARE IN 217 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:25,732 LET'S SEE THE RESULTS. [ DRUM ROLL >> Steve: WHOA 218 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,368 >> Jimmy: WHOA, NOT BAD! * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 219 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:34,908 THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S NOT 220 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,443 BAD. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY THIS NEXT ONE. 221 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,612 THIS NEXT ONE SAYS "HOSPITALS ARE LOWKEY OBSESSED WITH JELL-O." 222 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,582 [ LAUGHTER ] * I WOULD SAY IT WAS, LIKE, 223 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,518 100 YEARS, 200 YEARS >> Steve: YEAH EVERY -- EVERY HOSPITAL MEAL 224 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,287 HAS JELL-O >> Jimmy: HEY, IT'S ALL THEY HAVE 225 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,556 >> Steve: YEAH SORRY. >> Jimmy: ONLY THING WE CAN GET 226 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,292 FOR DESSERT IS JELL-O. >> Steve: THAT'S IT. >> Jimmy: I LOVE JELL-O. 227 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,494 >> Steve: I LOVE J-LO AND I LOVE JELL-O. >> Jimmy: YEAH 228 00:14:54,494 --> 00:15:00,166 LET'S SEE THE RESULTS RIGHT HERE [ DRUM ROLL 229 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:04,104 >> Jimmy: OH, NO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: 105. 230 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,741 >> Jimmy: WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I REMEMBER I STARTED TO EAT JELL-O ALL THE TIME AND 231 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:11,644 JUST TO MAKE MYSELF ENJOY IT, LIKE, TO MAKE IT MY FAVORITE DESSERT BECAUSE -- 232 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:15,348 [ LAUGHTER ] NO, BECAUSE I KNEW THAT ONE DAY, I MIGHT BE ON MY DEATH BED 233 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,118 IN THE HOSPITAL. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY'RE GOING TO GO, 234 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,921 "SORRY, MR. -- SORRY, MR. FALLON. WE CAN'T FEED YOU ANYTHING 235 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:25,058 THE ONLY THING WE CAN GIVE YOU IS JELL-O. [ LAUGHTER ] 236 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:29,262 AND YOU SEE MY HEART -- MY HEART RATE GO -- >> Steve: BEEP, BEEP, BEEP 237 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,797 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: LET'S GO TO THE NEXT ONE. 238 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,565 HERE IT SAYS, "I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL: I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU MORE WHEN YOU CANCEL 239 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:38,104 PLANS. [ LAUGHTER ] * 240 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,407 YEAH >> Steve: WOW, OKAY THAT'S -- >> Jimmy: I DO 241 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,575 >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: CANCEL IT. >> Steve: LET'S SAY "YES." 242 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,344 >> Jimmy: IT'S ACTUALLY NOT BAD. TARIQ, YOU LIKE THAT 243 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,614 >> Tariq: ABSOLUTELY >> Jimmy: YEAH, HERE WE GO >> Tariq: OH, THAT'S THE PERSON 244 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,582 AFTER MY OWN HEART * IT'S GOING TO BE -- 245 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,317 >> Jimmy: LET'S SEE THE RESULTS HERE [ DRUM ROLL 246 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:56,690 OH >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 247 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:59,192 >> Steve: WHOO >> Jimmy: SO, 144. THAT'S -- 248 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:02,595 >> Steve: 144, THAT'S A GROSS, BABY >> Jimmy: THAT ONE'S GOING TO 249 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,664 BE THE ONE, I THINK. [ CHEERS ] >> Steve: THAT'S 12 DOZEN, MAN 250 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,067 >> Jimmy: OH, I LIKE THIS ONE. THIS ONE'S PRETTY GOOD TOO >> Steve: WHO? 251 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,369 WHAT'S JUST THE NUMBER FOR >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. NEXT UP SAYS, "NO PHRASE HAS 252 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,772 EVER BEEN WORSE AT ITS JOB THAN THE WORDS 'CALM DOWN.' [ LAUGHTER ] 253 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:17,243 * IT JUST DOESN'T WORK >> Steve: YEAH 254 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,212 >> Jimmy: WE SHOULD DELETE IT FROM ALL PHRASES >> Steve: YEAH 255 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,582 >> Jimmy: JUST 2023 -- >> Steve: "HEY, CALM DOWN! >> Jimmy: THE PHRASE, "CALM 256 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,884 DOWN," IS DEAD [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: I'LL TELL YOU TO CALM 257 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,219 DOWN >> Jimmy: YEAH, EXACTLY. YEAH 258 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:30,457 IT NEVER WORKS LET'S SEE THE RESULTS HERE WOW! 259 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:37,063 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Steve: 176! 260 00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,331 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 176! 261 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,067 >> Jimmy: WOW. >> Steve: DANG, J. >> Jimmy: THERE'S NO WAY 262 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:44,237 THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S GOING TO BE -- THAT'S ALMOST 100% THAT'S OVER THE -- 263 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,873 >> Steve: ONLY ONE DOZEN PEOPLE DIDN'T VOTE. >> Jimmy: THAT'S FANTASTIC, 264 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,708 GUYS I DON'T KNOW IF IT WILL TOP IT, BUT I'LL READ THE LAST ONE JUST 265 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,144 IN CASE BECAUSE I THINK IT'S FUNNY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 266 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:55,382 THIS LAST ONE IS, "GIRL SCOUTS NEED TO INVENT THIQUE MINTS. [ LAUGHTER ] 267 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:58,551 >> Steve: COME ON. COME ON, EVERYBODY * 268 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,754 >> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO >> Steve: COME ON, LET'S GIVE IT 100%. 269 00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,722 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. I THINK WE MADE OUR DECISION 270 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,424 RIGHT HERE ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE STOPPED VOTING 271 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,193 ALREADY. LET'S SEE THE RESULTS RIGHT HERE 272 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,828 [ DRUM ROLL NO, THAT'S IT. WE HAVE A WINNER 273 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:12,232 * LOOKS LIKE IT IS -- NUMBER FOUR IS THE ONE 274 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,734 ALL RIGHT. * [ BELL RINGING ] 275 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,137 I'M GOING TO POST THIS DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK IF SEE IT ON YOUR FEED, GIVE IT 276 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,640 A LIKE GIVE IT A "WETWEET" AND ENJOY. STICK AROUND 277 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,476 WE'LL BE BACK WITH CHRISTOPH WALTZ! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 278 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:37,057 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 279 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,093 TO TRY ON SOME COATS AND SEE 280 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:44,464 WHAT THE AUDIENCE LIKES YOU IN LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHRISTOPH WALTZ. 281 00:17:44,464 --> 00:18:07,120 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * WOW! 282 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:12,592 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A TWO-TIME OSCAR WINNING ACTOR, STARRING -- 283 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,428 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH STARRING IN THE NEW SERIES, 284 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:21,868 "THE CONSULTANT," WHICH PREMIERES ALL 8 EPISODES ON PRIME VIDEO FRIDAY, 285 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:27,540 FEBRUARY 24th. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE PLEASE WELCOME, 286 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,476 PLEASE WELCOME, CHRISTOPH WALTZ! 287 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,811 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 288 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:48,094 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 289 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:55,969 >> Jimmy: IT IS SO - CHRISTOPH, WELCOME TO THE SHOW IT IS SO GREAT TO HAVE YOU 290 00:18:55,969 --> 00:19:02,642 HERE >> CHRISTOPH WALTZ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 291 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:08,014 [ BLEW A KISS WAIT, YOU CAN YELL CHRISTOPHER AND YOU ANSWER TO THAT 292 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:11,718 OR DID YOU SAY CHRISTOPH WALTZ WHAT DID YOU YELL? >> CHRISTOPH WALTZ 293 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,220 >> Jimmy: CHRISTOPH -- VEITZ VALTS, VEITZ, VALTZ? [ LAUGHTER ] 294 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:18,725 VEITZ, VALTZ, VEITZ, WALTZ >> WELL, YIMMY FALLON SHOULD KNOW 295 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:22,028 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 296 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:25,065 JIMMY. THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK TO THE SHOW 297 00:19:25,065 --> 00:19:28,335 >> NO, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME >> Jimmy: I KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU USED TO LIVE IN NEW YORK 298 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,504 YOU WERE - >> AH, YES THOSE WERE THE DAYS. 299 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:37,610 ACTUALLY, LIVED HERE DURING THE BEGINNING OF THE END [ LAUGHTER ] 300 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,146 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> WELL, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE 301 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,783 LATE '70s AND EARLY '80s OF THE 20th CENTURY AND THAT'S WHEN IT WAS 302 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,053 NEW YORK >> Jimmy: PLEASE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 303 00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,623 >> NOW IT'S TRYING TO BE NEW YORK >> Jimmy: WHAT "IT'S TRYING TO 304 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:57,097 BE NEW YORK" NO, WE ARE NEW YORK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 305 00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:59,799 >> NOT BY COMPARISON >> Jimmy: WELL, I MEAN - >> WHO'S OLD ENOUGH TO -- 306 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:04,738 RIGHT? PROVE ME RIGHT >> Jimmy: I MEAN, THIS HAS 307 00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:06,906 HAPPENED THIS IS NEW YORK I MEAN, WE WERE TALKING BACK 308 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,009 THERE. YOU TOLD ME YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF THE COLD WEATHER 309 00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:11,845 >> WELL, COLD, YES, THAT'S TRUE IT'S COLD. 310 00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:16,416 BUT, YOU KNOW, I NOTICE -- I WONDER ARE THERE STORES WHERE PEOPLE CAN GO TO GET A NEW YORK 311 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:23,957 OUTFIT LET ME LOOK LIKE A NEW YORKER. [ LAUGHTER ] 312 00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:29,229 IT REALLY -- SOMETIMES I FEEL IT'S -- THEY ALL HAVE THEIR PRIVATE COSTUME DESIGNERS. 313 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:32,932 THEY SAY, "NO, NO, NO, YOU JUST LOOK LIKE A REGULAR PERSON TODAY. 314 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,135 YOU NEED TO PUT THIS ON. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE 315 00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:37,303 A NEW YORKER YOU'RE IN NEW YORK." YOU KNOW 316 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:40,907 THAT'S WHERE THE STORE IS WHEN YOU GO BUY YOUR NEW YORKER OUTFIT 317 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,643 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED AND CONCERNED? THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE WEARING IS 318 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:48,581 A NEW YORKER OUTFIT. >> WELL, MAYBE IT'S ENVY [ LAUGHTER ] 319 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,317 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING -- YOU'RE ENVIOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S STYLE, SENSE OF 320 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:55,555 STYLE MAYBE? >> WELL, THEY'RE REALLY -- A A LOT OF THEM REALLY LOOK GOOD 321 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,424 >> Jimmy: I KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] BUT YOU -- YOU LOOK GOOD IN 322 00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,260 EVERYTHING YOU WERE SAYING BACKSTAGE TO ME, RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW, THIS 323 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:05,498 IS TRUE, THAT YOU WERE NERVOUS EVEN OF WHAT JACKET TO WEAR. >> WELL, BECAUSE IT'S COLD 324 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,267 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] YOU WANT TO LOOK COOL. 325 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,637 WELL, HERE'S THE DEAL. WE HAVE -- I HAVE THREE JACKETS. 326 00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:15,775 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I HAVE ONE, TWO -- THESE ARE PARKAS 327 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:19,846 AND WE HAVE VOTING CLICKERS AT OUR SEATS. [ CHEERS ] 328 00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,682 THE WHOLE NIGHT SHOW WE'RE VOTING ON WHAT WE LIKE AND DON'T LIKE 329 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,852 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO -- CHRISTOPH, WOULD YOU LIKE TO 330 00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:31,624 TRY ON SOME COATS AND SEE WHAT THE AUDIENCE LIKES YOU IN? >> CAN WE VOTE ABOUT YOU, TOO? 331 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:35,095 >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE LET'S START WITH THIS. 332 00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:40,100 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 333 00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:45,638 HAVE THESE THREE -- YEAH WE'LL COME BACK HERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHICH ONE YOU 334 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:49,442 WANT TO PUT ON FIRST JUST THESE THREE ONES HERE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 335 00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:52,612 MAYBE, YEAH. YOU WANT TO TRY THAT ONE YOU PICK ONE 336 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:55,782 I'LL REINTRODUCE YOU YOU COME OUT AND THEN WE'LL JUDGE. 337 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:58,752 >> OKAY. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * 338 00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:01,688 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHRISTOPH WALTZ. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 339 00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:11,097 * [ LAUGHTER ] WOW! 340 00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:13,600 WOW! * YES. 341 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:19,406 I LIKE THAT A LOT. THIS IS OPTION NUMBER ONE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 342 00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,608 OPTION NUMBER ONE, CAST YOUR VOTE THUMBS UP OR THUMBS DOWN, 343 00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:24,310 OPTION - LET'S SEE -- LET'S SEE THE VOTES ARE IN 344 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:28,381 LET'S SEE WHAT THE AUDIENCE SAID WOW! 345 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:32,419 THAT'S GOOD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 346 00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:34,287 THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S REALLY GOOD ALL RIGHT. 347 00:22:34,287 --> 00:22:37,090 READY? >> THAT'S GREEN. >> Jimmy: IT ACTUALLY LOOKS 348 00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:39,192 GOOD YES, IT'S GREEN. IT LOOKS GOOD, I LOVE THIS 349 00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,394 >> GREEN STEEL >> Jimmy: YEAH, GREEN STEEL. I LOVE IT, IT'S GOOD 350 00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,797 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] TRY -- LET'S TRY -- TRY THIS WE'LL TRY COAT NUMBER TWO. 351 00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:47,267 HERE WE GO I LIKE THIS ONE. THAT ONE'S A WINNER FOR ME 352 00:22:47,267 --> 00:22:51,204 I LIKE THAT. HE LOOKED GOOD IN THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT JACKET 353 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:53,740 REALLY SO MUCH IT WAS KIND OF DIFFERENT I KIND OF DUG IT 354 00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:56,776 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE IN NEW YORK DURING THE COLD 355 00:22:56,776 --> 00:23:01,614 WEATHER, IS CHRISTOPH WALTZ, EVERYONE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 356 00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:06,953 * OH OH 357 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:09,589 * THAT'S A STUD. SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 358 00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:13,727 ABOUT. THAT'S A GOOD-LOOKING GUY. I LIKE HIM 359 00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:16,262 I LIKE HIM HE'S KIND OF -- YOU'RE KIND OF MYSTERIOUS 360 00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:19,065 ALMOST A - >> NO, ORANGE STEEL. >> Jimmy: NO, I KNOW, ORANGE 361 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,267 STEEL. I KNOW, BUT NO, YOU ALSO CAME OUT KIND OF LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW 362 00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:23,136 WHAT THIS GUY'S DEAL IS. DID HE JUST COME OFF THE DOCKS? 363 00:23:23,136 --> 00:23:26,206 [ LAUGHTER ] "IS HE A FISHERMAN I'M JUST INTRIGUED BY HIM. 364 00:23:26,206 --> 00:23:29,142 I THINK THIS ONE WORKS EVERYONE CAST YOUR VOTE. THUMBS UP OR THUMBS DOWN 365 00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:31,778 BE HONEST. HE CAN TAKE IT >> DON'T BE HONEST 366 00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:36,149 >> Jimmy: NO, HE CAN HANDLE IT THE VOTES ARE IN LET'S SEE THE RESULTS ON THIS, 367 00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:40,286 ON OPTION NUMBER TWO OH, NO, WOW. GET -- GET OUT 368 00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:44,124 WE DON'T WANT TO SEE IT. NEVER HAPPENED, NEVER HAPPENED THE GREEN ONE'S IN THE LEAD. 369 00:23:44,124 --> 00:23:46,426 THIS IS THE THIRD AND -- THAT NEVER HAPPENED ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 370 00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:50,997 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THIS IS FIRST TIME THIS IS THE BEST 371 00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:54,100 I LOVE IT. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE HE 372 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:57,904 IS, READY TO WALK DOWN THE STREET IN NEW YORK, IN THE WINTER WEATHER, 373 00:23:57,904 --> 00:24:06,413 CHRISTOPH WALTZ! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 374 00:24:06,413 --> 00:24:19,759 OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LIKE THIS ONE, TOO 375 00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:23,163 I LIKE THIS ONE. HE WAS DEFINITELY MYSTERIOUS LIKE, HE KIND OF HAD A LITTLE 376 00:24:23,163 --> 00:24:25,565 GROOVE TO HIM. TO HIS STEP, A LITTLE PEP IN HIS STEP 377 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:29,803 EVERYONE TAKE YOUR VOTES I THINK I KIND OF KNOW WHAT THE WINNER'S GONNA TO BE 378 00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,838 COME ON OVER WHAT DO YOU THINK? CHRISTOPH, WHAT ARE YOU 379 00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:37,243 THINKING >> I THINK IT'S -- YOU DIDN'T HAVE A BLUE ONE 380 00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:40,413 I WANTED TO DO MY BLUE STEEL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S KIND OF BLUE. 381 00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:43,583 THAT IS KIND OF BLUE THAT'S KIND OF BLUE. ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE THE 382 00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:47,187 RESULTS OF THIS THIRD ONE. THE THIRD ONE, THE LAST ONE, THAT IS THE WINNER 383 00:24:47,187 --> 00:24:53,526 [ BELL RINGING ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 384 00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:57,597 >> WOULD YOU COME DOWN HERE, ALL THE WAY UP THERE, THE GUY WITH THE BEARD 385 00:24:57,597 --> 00:24:59,532 WOULD YOU COME DOWN HERE, PLEASE QUICK. 386 00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:04,371 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE COME, COME QUICK, QUICK, QUICK, RUN, RUN. 387 00:25:04,371 --> 00:25:12,245 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. WHY, BECAUSE -- OH, PLEASE WHAT IN THE -- OH, MY GOSH 388 00:25:12,245 --> 00:25:16,049 YOU'RE GETTING A JACKET -- YOU'RE GETTING A COAT? BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY 389 00:25:16,049 --> 00:25:21,087 IT -- PRONOUNCE HIS NAME [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OFF YOU GO 390 00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:25,358 >> Jimmy: GET OUT OF HERE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> HE COULD PRONOUNCE MY NAME 391 00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:28,528 PROPERLY >> Jimmy: YES, I KNOW. HE COULD, ACTUALLY 392 00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:35,301 [ APPLAUSE ] YOU ARE THE BEST YOU ARE THE -- WE LOVE YOU 393 00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:38,071 WOW, THAT GUY IS SO PSYCHED. HE GOT A GREAT COAT OUT OF THIS 394 00:25:38,071 --> 00:25:40,206 [ LAUGHTER AND CHEERS >> WELL, THERE - >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET 395 00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,509 FOR BEING A FAN, RIGHT YEAH >> WHAT YOU GET FOR SAYING MY 396 00:25:42,509 --> 00:25:45,145 NAME >> Jimmy: NO, I'M SORRY. CHRISTOPH. 397 00:25:45,145 --> 00:25:48,415 LET'S JUST -- CAN I JUST CALL YOU CHRISTOPH? [ LAUGHTER ] 398 00:25:48,415 --> 00:25:51,484 LET'S TALK ABOUT - >> IF YOU CAN SAY IT >> Jimmy: "THE CONSULTANT. 399 00:25:51,484 --> 00:25:55,622 "THE CONSULTANT. THIS IS A TWISTY -- A TWISTY MYSTERY, THRILLER. 400 00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:59,092 I LOVE IT. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY 401 00:25:59,092 --> 00:26:04,597 I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT I COULD. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 402 00:26:04,597 --> 00:26:07,200 I WILL NOT, THOUGH I WILL NOT >> OKAY, SORRY 403 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,502 >> Jimmy: WELL, MAYBE I CAN SAY -- WHAT COULD I SAY 404 00:26:09,502 --> 00:26:14,107 BUT YOU ARE A CONSULTANT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 405 00:26:14,107 --> 00:26:17,377 WE AGREE ON THAT >> Jimmy: BUT SHOWS UP AFTER A A CEO OF A VIDEO GAME COMPANY 406 00:26:17,377 --> 00:26:23,049 IS KILLED. [ AUDIENCE OOHS AND THE CONSULTANT COMES IN AND 407 00:26:23,049 --> 00:26:29,089 STARTS MAKING SOME CHANGES AND NOT EVERYONE IS HAPPY ABOUT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 408 00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:35,061 YOU ARE RUTHLESS YOU ARE SINISTER >> SINISTER IS A BEAUTIFUL 409 00:26:35,061 --> 00:26:37,597 WORD >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 410 00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:41,201 IS IT FAIR TO SAY YOU ARE A VILLAIN? >> A WHAT? 411 00:26:41,201 --> 00:26:45,238 >> Jimmy: ARE YOU -- ARE YOU A A VILLAIN IN THIS? >> NO. 412 00:26:45,238 --> 00:26:50,176 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] UM, WHY? [ LAUGHTER ] 413 00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:52,912 >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW >> I SAID YOU COULDN'T REALLY, AND I WAS RIGHT. 414 00:26:52,912 --> 00:26:56,182 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I THINK I SET IT UP PRETTY WELL, RIGHT 415 00:26:56,182 --> 00:27:00,553 YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT, KIND OF? [ CHEERS ] 416 00:27:00,553 --> 00:27:02,422 >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT? >> OKAY. 417 00:27:02,422 --> 00:27:04,491 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, GOOD. HAVE I SAID ENOUGH >> SURE. 418 00:27:04,491 --> 00:27:07,460 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW A A CLIP HERE IS CHRISTOPH WALTZ IN "THE 419 00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:10,030 CONSULTANT." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> NOT BAD 420 00:27:10,030 --> 00:27:12,565 >> Jimmy: NOT BAD? >> NO, FOR A START >> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK. 421 00:27:12,565 --> 00:27:13,867 >> Jimmy: TAKE A LOOK. [ LAUGHTER ] 422 00:27:14,934 --> 00:27:19,806 >> GOOD MORNING, COMRADES. 423 00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:28,748 UNFORTUNATELY, MR. SANG CANNOT BE WITH US TODAY BUT HE SENDS HIS BEST REGARDS. 424 00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:31,918 TO THE WONDERFUL FACES I SEE BELOW, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN IMPORTANT PART IN COMPWARE'S 425 00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:39,159 SUCCESS. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW YOU ALL PERSONALLY 426 00:27:39,159 --> 00:27:48,335 YOU'RE VALUED. AND FOR THOSE WHO WORK REMOTELY, YOU HAVE EXACTLY ONE 427 00:27:48,335 --> 00:27:58,178 HOUR TO GET HERE IN PERSON OR YOUR CONTRACTS OF EMPLOYMENT WILL BE TERMINATED 428 00:27:58,178 --> 00:28:04,517 THAT'S ALL >> Jimmy: YEAH THAT'S HOW DO YOU DO IT! 429 00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:09,422 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CHRISTOPH WALTZ, EVERYBODY "THE CONSULTANT" PREMIERES 430 00:28:09,422 --> 00:28:13,893 FEBRUARY 24th ON PRIME VIDEO [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TIG NOTARO JOINS US AFTER THE 431 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:16,029 BREAK. STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 432 00:28:16,029 --> 00:28:41,354 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY AND GRAMMY-NOMINATED 433 00:28:41,354 --> 00:28:46,726 COMEDIAN WHO STARS IN THE NEW FILM, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE," WHICH PREMIERES THIS FRIDAY ON 434 00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:53,433 NETFLIX. PLEASE WELCOME OUR PAL, TIG NOTARO 435 00:28:53,433 --> 00:28:53,466 PLEASE WELCOME OUR PAL, TIG NOTARO 436 00:28:56,603 --> 00:29:02,342 * * 437 00:29:02,342 --> 00:29:07,714 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: TIG NOTARO TIG, IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU 438 00:29:07,714 --> 00:29:10,350 >> IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU >> Jimmy: YEAH, I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. 439 00:29:10,350 --> 00:29:13,620 I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT AND ASK YOU ABOUT >> GREAT 440 00:29:13,620 --> 00:29:17,023 THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WELL, I HAVE ONE 441 00:29:17,023 --> 00:29:19,626 THING I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT. YOU WERE RECENTLY ON A A CELEBRITY "WHEEL OF FORTUNE," 442 00:29:19,626 --> 00:29:23,129 DO YOU REMEMBER THIS >> I DO. >> Jimmy: YEAH 443 00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:25,865 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU HAD TO ANSWER THIS PUZZLE. 444 00:29:25,865 --> 00:29:27,600 I'M GOING TO SHOW IT TO EVERYONE >> OKAY. 445 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:32,038 >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS STORY ENDS REALLY. I JUST -- THIS IS THE PUZZLE 446 00:29:32,038 --> 00:29:35,141 >> MM-HM >> Jimmy: OKAY >> THAT WAS A PUZZLE 447 00:29:35,141 --> 00:29:39,179 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YES. NOW THAT'S -- SO YOU -- 448 00:29:39,179 --> 00:29:43,116 "CRASHING MY -- >> DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I SAID 449 00:29:43,116 --> 00:29:47,487 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH [ DRUM ROLL 450 00:29:47,487 --> 00:29:52,425 IT MUST BE "CRASHING MY EXERCISE BIKE" >> UM, WELL -- 451 00:29:52,425 --> 00:29:57,063 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU SAID 452 00:29:57,063 --> 00:29:57,097 >> Jimmy: WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU SAID 453 00:29:59,132 --> 00:30:00,734 >> "CRASHING MY EXOR -- CIST BILL"? 454 00:30:00,734 --> 00:30:05,739 [ BUZZER ] CAN WE EDIT MY GUESS OUT [ LAUGHTER ] 455 00:30:05,739 --> 00:30:10,343 "CRASHING MY EXORCIST BILL." THAT IS THE ANSWER I'M NOT GONNA BE HUMILIATED ON 456 00:30:10,343 --> 00:30:14,280 NATIONAL TELEVISION. >> I WOULD -- NO IT'S -- IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT 457 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,984 >> Jimmy: NOW, WHAT WAS -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU 458 00:30:17,984 --> 00:30:20,854 THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR - 459 00:30:20,854 --> 00:30:25,091 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD AT THE MOMENT 460 00:30:25,091 --> 00:30:27,827 >> WELL, I MEAN -- WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I WAS THINKING "I NEVER IMAGINED I'D 461 00:30:27,827 --> 00:30:31,231 BE ON 'WHEEL OF FORTUNE.'" >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 462 00:30:31,231 --> 00:30:35,602 >> SECOND OF ALL, I WAS THINKING "I DON'T IMAGINE I'LL BE VERY GOOD AT THIS." 463 00:30:35,602 --> 00:30:39,973 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND THEN THIRD, I WAS LIKE, "WELL, I'M CORRECT." 464 00:30:39,973 --> 00:30:44,444 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, BUT -- YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS -- OR 465 00:30:44,444 --> 00:30:47,847 WERE YOU JUST BEING FUNNY? YOU'RE JUST BEING -- NO 466 00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:50,350 >> NO, I -- [ LAUGHTER ] I -- 467 00:30:50,350 --> 00:30:52,652 >> Jimmy: YOU REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS "EXORCIST BILL." >> I REALLY WAS LIKE -- 468 00:30:52,652 --> 00:30:57,457 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE NERVOUS >> I WASN'T NERVOUS. I WAS -- YOU KNOW, I WAS WRONG 469 00:30:57,457 --> 00:31:03,697 [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS JUST WRONG [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 470 00:31:03,697 --> 00:31:10,070 >> Jimmy: THESE THINGS -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I FEEL LIKE -- 471 00:31:10,070 --> 00:31:12,439 >> THESE PEOPLE ARE -- >> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE THESE -- THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU 472 00:31:12,439 --> 00:31:14,507 THESE FUNNY THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU. I THINK YOU'RE A MAGNET FOR 473 00:31:14,507 --> 00:31:19,212 FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPEN AND THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE. THIS IS AN ARTICLE THAT WA ON 474 00:31:19,212 --> 00:31:24,584 "BUZZFEED. IT SAYS, "AN AIRBNB HOST COMPLAINED ABOUT THEIR BOOKING 475 00:31:24,584 --> 00:31:29,155 BEING LOW AND PEOPLE RESPONDED WITH A LIST OF REASONS WHY THEY REFUSED TO USE THE SERVICE." 476 00:31:29,155 --> 00:31:32,125 AIRBNB AND THERE'S -- JUST A PHOTO OF YOU LAST TIME YOU WERE ON OUR 477 00:31:32,125 --> 00:31:35,295 SHOW >> YEAH. [ LAUGHTER ] 478 00:31:35,295 --> 00:31:38,131 >> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS OR -- >> UH, NO, YOUR PRODUCER SHOWED 479 00:31:38,131 --> 00:31:42,936 THIS TO ME >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND, UM, I GUESS -- I DON'T 480 00:31:42,936 --> 00:31:47,540 KNOW WHY "BUZZFEED" -- I GUESS, IF YOU WORK FOR "BUZZFEED", LET US KNOW WHY -- 481 00:31:47,540 --> 00:31:52,545 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHY YOU CHOSE THIS TERRIBLE PHOTO OF ME. 482 00:31:52,545 --> 00:31:59,219 [ LAUGHTER ] AND, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, A A SIMILAR THING HAPPENED TO ME 483 00:31:59,219 --> 00:32:09,829 PEOPLE WERE TAGGING ME ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY -- ON MY BIRTHDAY ON SOCIAL MEDIA 484 00:32:09,829 --> 00:32:14,968 IT WAS LIKE, "OH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO COMEDIAN TIG NOTARO." 485 00:32:14,968 --> 00:32:18,338 >> Jimmy: MM >> AND IT WAS A PICTURE OF ROSIE O'DONNELL. 486 00:32:18,338 --> 00:32:22,942 [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS JUST LIKE, "WHAT THEY JUST LIKE -- IT'S LIKE, 487 00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:28,181 'OH, NATIONAL LESBIAN BIRTHDAY'? [ LAUGHTER ] 488 00:32:28,181 --> 00:32:32,986 AND JUST -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: IS THAT -- IS THAT A 489 00:32:32,986 --> 00:32:38,258 A THING? >> THEY JUST GOOGLE, LIKE, ANY -- ANY LESBIAN WITH SHORT 490 00:32:38,258 --> 00:32:40,660 HAIR AND THEY'RE LIKE, "THAT'S FINE." 491 00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:43,396 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> "WHATEVER." 492 00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:45,999 JUST MELISSA ETHERIDGE [ LAUGHTER ] ANYBODY -- SHE DOESN'T HAVE 493 00:32:45,999 --> 00:32:49,602 SHORT HAIR BUT ANYWAY -- >> Jimmy: I -- CAN WE TALK 494 00:32:49,602 --> 00:32:53,206 ABOUT YOUR NEW -- YOU'RE A A MOVIE STAR NOW >> I AM. 495 00:32:53,206 --> 00:32:55,942 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN A MOVIE 496 00:32:55,942 --> 00:32:58,244 STAR FOR A WHILE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S TRUE. >> YEAH. 497 00:32:58,244 --> 00:33:00,647 >> Jimmy: FOR A WHILE NOW. >> FOR A WHILE >> Jimmy: ARE YOU -- YOU'RE 498 00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:02,849 ENJOYING THE FAME? I ENJOY MY LEVEL OF FAME BECAUSE -- 499 00:33:02,849 --> 00:33:06,353 WELL, I GUESS THERE'S A DOWNSIDE BECAUSE I -- YOU KNOW, I DO 500 00:33:06,353 --> 00:33:12,459 STAND-UP AND I'LL TOUR AROUND THE COUNTRY. I DID A 70-CITY TOUR LAST YEAR 501 00:33:12,459 --> 00:33:19,232 AND SOMETIMES, I KNOCK ON THE BACK DOOR OF THE THEATER AND SECURITY WON'T LET ME IN 502 00:33:19,232 --> 00:33:22,402 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE PLAYING THERE THAT NIGHT 503 00:33:22,402 --> 00:33:25,905 >> YEAH. I'M THERE THAT NIGHT AND THEY'RE LIKE, "UH, YEAH? 504 00:33:25,905 --> 00:33:32,479 AND I'M LIKE, "OH, I'M PERFORMING AT THE SHOW." >> Jimmy: "AT THE SHOW HERE 505 00:33:32,479 --> 00:33:34,748 TONIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND -- AND -- 506 00:33:34,748 --> 00:33:38,818 >> Jimmy: AT YOUR SHOW >> YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 507 00:33:38,818 --> 00:33:42,756 YEAH AND I HAVE TO -- I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM THE BIG 508 00:33:42,756 --> 00:33:46,226 SENSATION THAT SOLD OUT THE THEATER. [ LAUGHTER ] 509 00:33:46,226 --> 00:33:48,328 >> Jimmy: YEAH WELL, YOU GOTTA KINDA KEEP YOU HUMBLE 510 00:33:48,328 --> 00:33:50,397 GOTTA KEEP YOU MOVING, ON YOUR TOES >> YEAH. 511 00:33:50,397 --> 00:33:52,799 >> Jimmy: YEAH, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LET THIS MOVIE STAR STATUS GO TO YOUR HEAD 512 00:33:52,799 --> 00:33:56,302 >> I KNOW. AND JUST HAVING MY BIRTHDAY WISHES HAVE ROSIE O'DONNELL'S 513 00:33:56,302 --> 00:33:59,639 FACE, LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT 514 00:33:59,639 --> 00:34:01,875 THIS MOVIE, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE." >> UH-HUH. 515 00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:04,477 >> Jimmy: WE JUST HAD ASHTON KUTCHER ON THE SHOW YESTERDAY. 516 00:34:04,477 --> 00:34:06,780 HE WAS SINGING YOUR -- >> HE'S A DREAM BOAT >> Jimmy: YOUR -- SINGING "YOUR 517 00:34:06,780 --> 00:34:09,849 PRAISES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT'S YOU, ASHTON KUTCHER, 518 00:34:09,849 --> 00:34:12,352 REESE WITHERSPOON. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THIS IS EXACTLY 519 00:34:12,352 --> 00:34:15,188 A ROMCOM THAT I WANT TO WATCH. >> YES >> Jimmy: THAT I WANT TO SEE 520 00:34:15,188 --> 00:34:21,327 WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING IN A ROMCOM WITH THESE TWO? >> WELL, IT'S REALLY FUN 521 00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:30,837 AND THEY'RE BOTH SO GREAT. I WILL SAY IT WAS A LITTLE ALARMING TO WATCH THE MOVIE, 522 00:34:30,837 --> 00:34:35,308 BECAUSE DURING THE FILMING, I'M THINKING, "OH, THIS IS SO GREAT. 523 00:34:35,308 --> 00:34:42,549 EVERYBODY'S SO NICE AND FUN. AND THEN I'M WATCHING THE ACTUAL MOVIE AND THESE TWO 524 00:34:42,549 --> 00:34:46,586 PEOPLE ARE SO ATTRACTIVE, REESE AND ASHTON >> Jimmy: YEAH 525 00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:52,158 >> AND I'M NOT -- LOOK, I'M NOT HARD ON MYSELF BUT, I WILL SAY IT WAS 526 00:34:52,158 --> 00:34:58,698 ALARMING YOU SEE THESE BEAUTIFUL ASHTON AND REESE FACES ON SCREEN, AND 527 00:34:58,698 --> 00:35:03,837 I PLAY THEIR FRIEND. AND I COME AROUND A CORNER AND I WAS STARTLED 528 00:35:03,837 --> 00:35:09,209 [ LAUGHTER ] I LOOKED LIKE I'M THE SAME AGE AS YODA. 529 00:35:09,209 --> 00:35:13,346 [ LAUGHTER ] AND -- [ APPLAUSE ] 530 00:35:13,346 --> 00:35:15,648 >> Jimmy: WHAT >> I'M -- >> Jimmy: NO 531 00:35:15,648 --> 00:35:18,284 >> NO. WAIT LISTEN 532 00:35:18,284 --> 00:35:22,222 AND I'M TRULY -- I'M NOT HARD ON MYSELF. BUT I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH." 533 00:35:22,222 --> 00:35:29,195 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I MEAN, WE HAVE VERY DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW, NIGHT LOTION REGIMEN 534 00:35:29,195 --> 00:35:32,065 WHAT DO YOU -- [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON 535 00:35:32,065 --> 00:35:36,302 BUT I WAS JUST LIKE, "WHOA." >> Jimmy: HOW DO WE SET UP THE MOVIE? 536 00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:38,405 >> HOW DO WE SET IT UP >> Jimmy: YEAH IT'S -- 537 00:35:38,405 --> 00:35:43,076 >> WELL, IT'S A ROMCOM >> Jimmy: YEP. >> STARRING REESE WITHERSPOON, 538 00:35:43,076 --> 00:35:47,580 ASH -- [ LAUGHTER ] ASHTON KUTCHER AND YODA'S -- 539 00:35:47,580 --> 00:35:49,315 >> Jimmy: NO -- [ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT 540 00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:52,485 VERY GOOD. IT'S VERY FUNNY. AND I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE 541 00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:55,455 A CLIP HERE'S TIG NOTARO AND REESE WITHERSPOON IN "YOUR 542 00:35:55,455 --> 00:35:57,090 PLACE OR MINE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 543 00:35:57,590 --> 00:36:01,027 >> HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING AT HER INSTAGRAM? >> YOU THINK I'M NOT GONNA BE 544 00:36:01,027 --> 00:36:04,831 LOOK AT JIMMY'S GIRLFRIEND'S INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT? I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE EVEN 545 00:36:04,831 --> 00:36:09,035 DOING -- WHO WOULD I EVEN BE >> LOOK, IT'S FINE IT WORKS FOR HIM 546 00:36:09,035 --> 00:36:11,504 IT WORKS FOR ME. AND BESIDES, JACK LOVES HANGING OUT WITH SCARLET 547 00:36:11,504 --> 00:36:14,574 >> ALL RIGHT WELL, I HOPE THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF THIS TRIP. 548 00:36:14,574 --> 00:36:18,278 >> YES >> AND WHAT YOU NEED YOU KNOW, GET YOUR DEGREE, FIND 549 00:36:18,278 --> 00:36:23,083 A MAN, COME HOME THEN REMODEL THAT ANCIENT KITCHEN OF YOURS 550 00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:27,053 I ALSO THINK IT'S TIME TO GET LAYERS IN YOUR HAIR. LAYERS, BUT NOT BANGS. 551 00:36:27,053 --> 00:36:31,624 BANGS ARE FOR AN EMERGENCY >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 552 00:36:31,624 --> 00:36:36,429 TIG NOTARO, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE," BEGINS STREAMING THIS FRIDAY ON NETFLIX. 553 00:36:36,429 --> 00:36:39,065 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A A PERFORMANCE FROM FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS 554 00:36:39,065 --> 00:37:06,192 STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 555 00:37:06,192 --> 00:37:10,263 >> Jimmy: PERFORMING "MONEYMAKER" FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM "LET YOURSELF FREE," 556 00:37:10,263 --> 00:37:15,535 PLEASE WELCOME FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 557 00:37:15,535 --> 00:37:15,568 TANTRUMS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 558 00:37:17,170 --> 00:37:18,772 * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 559 00:37:18,772 --> 00:37:21,274 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 560 00:37:21,274 --> 00:37:25,445 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * OH ME OH MY M 561 00:37:25,445 --> 00:37:28,715 YOU GETTING YOURS BABY I GET MINE * * LITTLE CRAZ 562 00:37:28,715 --> 00:37:34,287 IS WHAT I LIKE NEVER SEEN A PARTY THAT'S A WASTE OF TIME * 563 00:37:34,287 --> 00:37:39,859 * OOH OOH OOH WE RUNNING RUNNING YEAH WE RUNNING THE SHOW * 564 00:37:39,859 --> 00:37:45,565 * OOH OOH OOH WE STARTED SOMETHING AND WE'RE READY TO GO * 565 00:37:45,565 --> 00:37:50,904 * HIT THE LIGHT SHUT IT DOWN GETTING LOST IN THE CROWD * 566 00:37:50,904 --> 00:37:55,408 * LOSE YOUR MIN SET IT FRE IF IT FEELS GOOD FEEL IT 567 00:37:55,408 --> 00:37:58,678 YEAH FOLLOW MY LEAD * * SHAKE YOUR MONE SHAKE YOUR MONEY 568 00:37:58,678 --> 00:38:01,181 SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * SHAKE YOUR MONE 569 00:38:01,181 --> 00:38:04,017 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * DO IT HOW YOU DO IT 570 00:38:04,017 --> 00:38:07,187 GO AND GET YOUR PAPER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE SHAKE YOUR MONEY 571 00:38:07,187 --> 00:38:11,558 SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * WE RUNNING RUNNIN AND WE RUNNING THE SHO 572 00:38:11,558 --> 00:38:15,295 WE STARTED SOMETHING AND WE READY TO GO * * WE'RE SPINNING AROUND 573 00:38:15,295 --> 00:38:19,866 'TIL IT'S OUT OF CONTROL WE'RE GOING WILD AND WE AIN'T GOING HOME * 574 00:38:19,866 --> 00:38:22,035 * TO THE LEFT IF YOU'RE BLESSE TO THE RIGHT 575 00:38:22,035 --> 00:38:24,137 ALL RIGHT * * SHAKE IT UP SHAKE IT FAS 576 00:38:24,137 --> 00:38:28,408 LIKE YOU'RE IN THE SPOTLIGHT * * WOAH-OH ME OH MY MY 577 00:38:28,408 --> 00:38:32,045 YOU'VE BEEN GETTING YOUR I'LL BE GETTING MINE SO * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 578 00:38:32,045 --> 00:38:34,848 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 579 00:38:34,848 --> 00:38:37,183 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 580 00:38:37,183 --> 00:38:40,754 * DO IT HOW YOU DO IT GO AND GET YOUR PAPER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 581 00:38:40,754 --> 00:38:46,326 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 582 00:38:46,326 --> 00:38:49,729 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * DO IT HOW YOU DO IT 583 00:38:49,729 --> 00:38:53,066 GO AND GET YOUR PAPER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE SHAKE YOUR MONEY 584 00:38:53,066 --> 00:38:59,873 SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 585 00:38:59,873 --> 00:39:05,478 * HIT THE LIGHT SHUT IT DOWN GETTING LOST IN THE CROWD * 586 00:39:05,478 --> 00:39:09,182 * LOSE YOUR MIN SET IT FRE IF IT FEELS GOOD FEEL IT 587 00:39:09,182 --> 00:39:13,219 YEAH FOLLOW MY LEAD * * SHAKE YOUR MONE SHAKE YOUR MONEY 588 00:39:13,219 --> 00:39:15,855 SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE SHAKE YOUR MONEY 589 00:39:15,855 --> 00:39:19,893 SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * * DO IT HOW YOU DO IT GO AND GET YOUR PAPE 590 00:39:19,893 --> 00:39:28,435 * SHAKE YOUR MONE SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * 591 00:39:28,435 --> 00:39:32,138 * DO IT HOW YOU DO IT GO AND GET YOUR PAPER * * SHAKE YOUR MONE 592 00:39:32,138 --> 00:39:35,208 SHAKE YOUR MONEY SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER OH OH * 593 00:39:35,208 --> 00:39:45,585 * * * SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER * 594 00:39:45,585 --> 00:39:52,058 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: COME ON! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT 595 00:39:52,058 --> 00:39:54,427 THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: COME ON. 596 00:39:54,427 --> 00:39:58,064 THANK YOU, BUD FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 597 00:39:58,064 --> 00:40:02,402 CATCH THEM TOMORROW NIGHT AT WEBSTER HALL, HERE IN NEW YORK WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY 598 00:40:02,402 --> 00:40:23,156 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO 599 00:40:23,156 --> 00:40:27,093 CHRISTOPH WALTZ, TIG NOTARO. FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS, ONCE AGAIN! 600 00:40:27,093 --> 00:40:32,665 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 601 00:40:32,665 --> 00:40:35,835 THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 602 00:40:35,835 --> 00:40:38,905 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY THANK YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE