>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - ASHTON KUTCHER
ALISON BRIE, MUSCIAL GUEST DERMOT KENNEDY AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1793 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
* *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: COME ON. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S A SHOW TONIGHT. COME ON. ENJOY YOURSELF, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW.
YOU ARE HERE YOU MADE IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING WELL, GUYS, LAST NIGHT WAS THE 65th ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS.
AND I -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I LOVE THE GRAMMYS
WHERE ELSE CAN YOU SEE BEYONCE AND TAYLOR SWIFT TOGETHER? [ CHEERS ]
TICKETMASTER IS LIKE, WE CAN'T EVEN MAKE ONE OF THOSE THINGS HAPPEN
[ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S HOW HARD IT IS. THIS YEAR'S GRAMMY CEREMONY
LASTED NEARLY FOUR HOURS THAT'S DANGEROUS I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE EVERY CBS VIEWER KNOWS THAT IF IT LASTS LONGER THAN FOUR HOURS, THEY SHOULD CALL
THEIR DOCTOR [ LAUGHTER ] THE GRAMMYS LASTED ALMOST FOUR
HOURS, ALTHOUGH AN HOUR OF THAT WAS JUST STALLING UNTIL BEYONCE SHOWED UP.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS THIS WAS CRAZY
BEYONCE COULDN'T ACCEPT HER FIRST AWARD BECAUSE SHE WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC
[ AUDIENCE OHS ] YEAH, I MEAN, AT THIS POINT, I'M SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T JUST
GET OUT AND PART THE SEA OF CARS LIKE MOSES. [ LAUGHTER ]
SERIOUSLY, IF YOU THINK YOUR JOB IS STRESSFUL, IMAGINE BEING THE LIMO DRIVER WHO GOT BEYONCE
STUCK IN TRAFFIC ON THE NIGHT SHE'S MAKING HISTORY [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT, BEYONCE WON HER 32nd AWARD, BECOMING THE MOST DECORATED ARTIST IN GRAMMYS
HISTORY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS
HER STEPS IN AT AN AWARDS SHOW [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE, "YEP, I HIT 10,000.
THERE YOU GO." SWITCHING GEARS. EVERYONE IS STILL TALKING ABOUT
THIS OVER THE WEEKEND, U.S. MILITARY FIGHTER JETS SHOT DOWN A
A CHINESE SPY BALLOON OVER THE ATLANTIC OCEAN AND THIS IS FUN.
INSTEAD OF A MEDAL, THE PILOT WHO POPPED THE BALLOON GOT TO PICK ANY STUFFED ANIMAL ON THE
TOP SHELF. [ LAUGHTER ] I'LL TAKE THE SPONGE --YOU KNOW
WHAT, I'LL TAKE BLUEY. I LIKE BLUEY THE BALLOON FLOATED FROM
MONTANA TO SOUTH CAROLINA. SOMEHOW IT GOT ACROSS THE COUNTRY FASTER THAN SOMEONE
FLYING SOUTHWEST [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THE U.S. REALLY DIDN'T HAVE
A CHOICE THE ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS TO RUB THE BALLOON ON
BERNIE SANDERS AND STICK IT TO CANADA [ LAUGHTER ]
SOME MORE BIG NEWS TOMORROW NIGHT, PRESIDENT BIDEN WILL DELIVER HIS STATE OF THE
UNION ADDRESS. AND TODAY HE TWEETED A PHOTO OF HIS SPEECH WITH THE CAPTION,
"GETTING READY." EVERY TIME HE NAILS A SENTENCE, HE GETS A COOKIE, APPARENTLY
[ LAUGHTER ] GIVE HIM A COOKIE. APPARENTLY, BIDEN IS WRITING
HIS SPEECH AND WAITING FOR SANTA. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SOME BUSINESS NEWS I SAW THAT NEXT YEAR, APPLE COULD INTRODUCE A MORE
EXPENSIVE iPHONE CALLED THE "ULTRA." [ AUDIENCE OOHS
YEP. THIS ONE WILL HAVE TWO FLASHLIGHTS THAT TURN ON IN
YOUR POCKET. [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE
BETTER CARE OF A MORE EXPENSIVE iPHONE IF YOU DROP THIS ONE IN THE
TOILET, YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN A BOWL OF RISOTTO. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, THANK YOU *
[ CHEERS ] SOME MOVIE NEWS. THIS WEEKEND, "KNOCK AT THE
CABIN" BEAT "AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER" AT THE BOX OFFICE THE MOVIE IS A HUGE SUCCESS.
THEY'VE ALREADY COME UP WITH A A FEW SEQUELS. >> Steve: REALLY
>> Jimmy: YEAH AFTER "KNOCK AT THE CABIN," THEY'RE GOING TO RELEASE
"KNOCK, KNOCK AT THE CABIN." [ LAUGHTER ] THEN "WHO'S THERE AT THE
CABIN. [ LAUGHTER ] FOLLOWED BY "ORANGE AT THE
CABIN. THEN "ORANGE WHO AT THE CABIN. FINALLY, "ORANGE YOU GLAD I
DIDN'T SAY BANANA AT THE CABIN. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I DIDN'T SAY BANANA AT THE CABIN. DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
AMC ANNOUNCED THAT THEY'RE GOING TO START CHARGING DIFFERENT PRICES FOR TICKETS
BASED ON WHERE YOU'RE SITTING IN THE THEATER [ AUDIENCE GROANS
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS. I MEAN, IT'S ROUGH WHEN YOU'RE IN BOARDING GROUP D FOR "PUSS
IN BOOTS." YOU KNOW [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SOME SPORTS NEWS THE SUPER BOWL IS THIS SUNDAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S RIGHT I READ THAT THIS YEAR THE BROADCAST WILL HAVE EVEN MORE
ALCOHOL ADS THAN USUAL FINALLY, A CHANCE TO MAKE FOOTBALL FANS AWARE OF ALCOHOL
[ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, I HEARD ABOUT THE FOUNDER OF SPOTIFY, HE HELPED CREATE A
A BODY SCANNER, THAT CAN DETECT THE GROWTH OF THINGS LIKE RASHES AND BIRTHMARKS.
DAMN SOUNDS LIKE THE REAL SPOTIFY [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: COME ON. * THAT'S TWO
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOW. >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND THIS IS
COOL AT THE END OF THE YEAR, THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE ALL YOUR SKIN
TAGS INTO A COACHELLA POSTER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] MEANWHILE, IF YOUR RASH HAS
GROWN, THE SPOTIFY SCANNER JUST PLAYS THIS - * YOU KNOW IT'S NOT THE
SAME AS IT WAS * [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: FINALLY, GUYS, IT'S
MONDAY, AND I THINK WE ALL COULD USE A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT TO MAKE IT
THROUGH THE REST OF THE WEEK DON'T YOU FEEL THAT WAY? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT'S TIME FOR SOME "MONDAY MOTIVATIONS. HERE WE GO
* >> MONDAY MOTIVATIONS. >> Jimmy: YOU LOOK AMAZING IN
THAT SHIRT [ LAUGHTER ] TRUST ME
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST WEEK WHEN YOU GO TO THE ZOO,
EVERYONE'S LIKE, "WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SPECIMEN." AND THEY'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
THE ANIMALS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ON DAY ONE OF PLANNING HER
WORLD TOUR, BEYONCE SAT DOWN AND WAS LIKE, "SO WHERE DOES ABBY LIVE?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WHEN YOU AGREE TO SEE A DESSERT MENU, THE WAITER IS LIKE, "YAY,
YOU'RE STAYING." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU CAN FEEL THIS ONE? THE DAY YOU GOT YOUR BRACES OFF, YOUR ORTHODONTIST WAS
LIKE, "OH, GOD, WHAT IF I NEVER SEE HER AGAIN? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WHEN YOU GET PIT STAINS, EVERYONE IS LIKE, "A SHIRT WITH POLKA DOTS IN THE ARMPITS?
I LOVE THAT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE WHEN YOU CLICK, "BOOK FLIGHT"
ONLINE, THE PRESIDENT OF COSTA RICA IS LIKE, "O-M-G, GUYS, EMILY'S COMING
EMILY'S COMING!" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY, WHEN YOUR PHONE
DIES, "IT'S LIKE, MY ONE REGRET IS NOT SPENDING MORE TIME WITH YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
* *
>> Jimmy: HEY, EVERYBODY WELCOME TO THE SHOW. GUYS, I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT
THIS ONLY BECAUSE THERE'S NO REAL REASON. BUT I'M -- I LOVE THIS BOOK,
OKAY MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY HAS THIS BOOK, "GREENLIGHTS."
IT'S PROBABLY BEEN OUT A YEAR NOW, RIGHT IT'S ALREADY A BESTSELLER.
IT DOESN'T NEED ANY HELP ANYWAYS -- HE CAME ON. I READ A LITTLE BIT OF IT.
I CAN'T READ ALL THE BOOKS [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Steve: YOU CAN'T READ
>> Jimmy: WHEN EVERYONE COMES ON THE SHOW, A WHOLE BOOK. SO I READ A LITTLE BIT OF IT
NOW I'M INTO IT. I'M READING THE WHOLE BOOK IT IS UNBELIEVABLE
I LOVE THIS BOOK I KNOW I'M LATE TO THE PARTY, BUT GET THIS BOOK.
READ THIS BOOK AND THEN AS I'M READING IT, IT'S FUNNY
IT'S GOT LIFE LESSONS IN IT, BUT AMAZING STORIES. AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE,
DID YOU LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK? I GO, NO
THEY GO, IT'S GOT TO BE AMAZING. >> Steve: IT IS.
I'VE LISTENED TO IT. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE >> Steve: IT'S FAN -
>> Jimmy: DUDE, I GOT THE AUDIOBOOK. SO NOW I'VE READ THE BOOK, AND
THEN I GOT THE AUDIOBOOK AM I OBSESSED? WHO DOES THIS?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] IT'S WORTH IT. I WOULD READ THE BOOK FIRST AND
THEN - >> Steve: AND THEN READ THE AUDIOBOOK.
>> Jimmy: 'CAUSE HIM TELLING THE STORIES IS KIND OF LIKE WHAT IS PICTURED IN YOUR HEAD.
YOU'RE LIKE, THAT'S HOW HE CAME UP WITH, "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT HE KNOWS HOW TO TELL A A STORY.
ANYWAYS, I LOVE THE DUDE I LOVE THE BOOK. I CALLED HIM UP AND I SAID,
"HEY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY I JUST LOVE THIS, MAN. WOULD YOU COME ON THE SHOW JUST
FOR FUN? HE HAS NOTHING TO PROMOTE. NOTHING.
THIS THURSDAY, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY WILL BE ON THE SHOW
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: "GREENLIGHTS." >> Jimmy: TO TALK ABOUT
NOTHING. BUT CHECK OUT THIS BOOK. I LOVE THIS DUDE
IT'S GREAT YOU WILL LOVE IT I JUST HAD TO TELL YOU GUYS.
I'M REALLY INTO IT RIGHT NOW I HAVEN'T FINISHED THE AUDIOBOOK, BUT I FINISHED THE
BOOK I CAN'T BELIEVE THE ROOTS ARE HERE, BY THE WAY
THE ROOTS ARE HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HOW ARE YOU HERE
AND DO YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE? OH, MY GOSH. THE ROOTS JUST CAME BACK -- YOU
CRUSHED IT ON THE GRAMMYS LAST NIGHT. YOU CRUSHED IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I MEAN, COULDN'T HAVE GONE ANY BETTER
YOU HAVE TO BE SO PROUD. I MEAN, THAT WAS INSANE WHAT YOU PULLED OFF
HOW MANY ARTISTS WERE THERE? >> Questlove: YEAH, IT WAS LIKE 24, 25
>> Jimmy: 50 YEARS OF HIP HOP. THE ROOTS -- YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THIS A MONTH AGO OR TWO MONTHS
AGO. >> Questlove: YEAH >> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE LIKE,
"DUDE, I NEED A DAY OFF. I'M LIKE, "YOU NEVER ASK FOR A A DAY OFF.
YOU'RE LIKE, "LET ME TELL YOU WHY. WE HAVE A REALLY GIANT
OPPORTUNITY. I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH GO FOR IT.
THIS IS GONNA BE AMAZING." IT COULDN'T HAVE GONE ANY BETTER
IT WAS ELECTRIC TO WATCH ON TV I LOVED IT THEY DID A GREAT JOB DIRECTING
AND ALL THAT STUFF TOO BUT IT WAS SO EXCITING EVERYONE WAS UP DANCING.
>> Questlove: YEAH >> Jimmy: DID YOU FEEL THAT IN THE ROOM
>> Questlove: WE DID IT WAS ELECTRIC. >> Jimmy: WAS IT LIKE ALMOST
HUMAN DEEJAYING? IT'S LIKE, I'M GOING TO PUT THIS SONG ON BUT THEY'RE REALLY
HERE I'M GOING TO PUT ON RUN DMC, BUT THEY'RE REALLY HERE.
>> Questlove: I REALIZED WHILE WE'RE DOING IT, LIKE, IT'S LIKE TWO TURNTABLES
WE'RE GOING BACK AND FORTH >> Jimmy: IT REALLY WAS, RIGHT >> Questlove: YEAH
>> Jimmy: WE DID HISTORY OF RAP. >> Questlove: HISTORY OF RAP
DONE WITH THE ACTUAL - >> Jimmy: BUT WITH THE ACTUAL PEOPLE
I WAS TEXTING JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, LIKE, "ARE YOU WATCHING THIS, MAN?"
IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. I JUST WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT WAS BIGGER THAN A SUPER BOWL PERFORMANCE. IT WAS BIGGER THAN ANYTHING.
YOU CRUSHED IT WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU GUYS TONIGHT
HE STARS WITH REESE WITHERSPOON IN THE ROMANTIC COMEDY, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE," WHICH BEGINS
STREAMING ON NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY ASHTON KUTCHER IS HERE TONIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE'S A GOOD MAN. >> Steve: LOVELY MAN
>> Jimmy: PLUS, SHE COWROTE AND STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE, "SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW,"
WHICH IS AVAILABLE ON PRIME VIDEO THIS FRIDAY. ALISON BRIE IS HERE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ALISON BRIE. AND WE'VE GOT GREAT MUSIC FROM
DERMOT KENNEDY, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STICK AROUND
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'RE PLAYING "IMPOSSIBLE PICTIONARY" WITH ASHTON KUTCHER AND
ALISON BRIE. COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: WHAT IN THE -- WHAT? >> CORN HOLE
>> Jimmy: STOVE. HOT! >> STOVE
HOT STOVE. HOT FIRE MY STOVE'S ON FIRE
>> Jimmy: SORRY. [ LAUGHTER ] ONE IN THE OVEN.
>> BUN IN THE OVEN
I'M HERE WITH QUESTLOVE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND WE ARE ABOUT TO PLAY
PICTIONARY BUT WE'VE MADE IT MUCH, MUCH TOUGHER.
THIS IS "IMPOSSIBLE PICTIONARY." AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED SOME
HELP HE IS THE STAR -- IS THAT WHAT YOU NEED AFTER A LONG DAY OF
TRAVELING? >> Questlove: MMHMM. >> Jimmy: IMPOSSIBLE
PICTIONARY >> Questlove: WORD CHALLENGES. >> Jimmy: YES.
HE'S THE STAR OF THE COMEDY, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE" STREAMING ON NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY
GIVE IT UP FOR MY PARTNER, ASHTON KUTCHER [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* MY MAN WE GOT THIS.
WE GOT THIS, BUDDY YOU KNOW QUEST >> HOW ARE YOU
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT
YOU KNOW HIM YOU LOVE HIM NOW, LET'S MEET QUESTLOVE'S
PARTNER. HER NEW FILM, "SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW," WILL LAUNCH GLOBALLY
ON PRIME VIDEO THIS FRIDAY GIVE IT UP FOR ALISON BRIE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Questlove: WOAH >> HI.
>> Jimmy: OH >> NO SYKE NO SYKE.
>> Jimmy: SHE IS SO FUN. HERE'S HOW THE GAME WORKS. IT'S JUST LIKE REGULAR
PICTIONARY, EXCEPT THE CLUES ARE MUCH HARDER TO GET TO GIVE EVERYBODY A FIGHTING
CHANCE, ALL THE CLUES ARE VALENTINE'S DAY THEMED >> I GOT IT.
I GOT IT I ALREADY KNOW >> Jimmy: YOU ALREADY KNOW
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Jimmy: DUDE, WE GOT THIS. WE GOT THIS.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GOT OUR FIRST ONE. >> CUPID
CUPID! CUPID! CUPID!
>> Jimmy: NOT CUPID. >> THE HALLMARK! HALLMARK
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ASTON -- >> ARE WE STARTED?
ARE WE STARTED >> Jimmy: NO, BUT LET'S DO IT. ASTON, YOU TO DRAW FIRST
YOU GUYS CAN HAVE A SEAT RIGHT OVER THERE ALISON, YOU GO THERE
>> MY CLOTHES ARE COMING OFF >> Jimmy: OH, ARE THEY >> I'M ALREADY GETTING
UNDRESSED FOR THE GAME >> Jimmy: WOW, NO. THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT IS
>> WOAH! >> FOR EVERY POINT I GET RIGHT, I'M GOING TO GET UNDRESSED
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: NO
THAT IS NOT HAPPENING. >> HOLD ON, AM I DO I GO -- I GO ONE?
>> Jimmy: NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IN ORDER. >> I CAN GO ANYWHERE
>> Jimmy: ANY NUMBER >> OKAY, GOT IT. >> Jimmy: WE GOT THIS, BUDDY
CUPID! [ AUDIENCE SHOUTING >> WAIT, HOLD ON
[ AUDIENCE SHOUTING >> I FEEL LIKE I'M ON "THE PRICE IS RIGHT."
>> Jimmy: GOOD, GOOD, GOOD I'M NOT LOOKING. ASTON, YOU CAN DRAW NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. OKAY
>> Jimmy: YES. >> OKAY.
READY? >> Jimmy: YEP. >> HERE WE GO.
>> Jimmy: CUPID! HALLMARK MAILBOX?
OH, TUNNEL OF LOVE * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
[ BELL RINGING ] >> LOOK AT THE TUNNEL. >> Jimmy: THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE!
>> LOOK AT THE TUNNEL. >> WOW >> LOOK AT THE TUNNEL.
>> Jimmy: WOW! TUNNEL OF LOVE >> YEAH!
VALENTINES LOVE TUNNEL. >> WELL DONE
WELL DONE. QUEST, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, BUD >> YO!
>> Questlove: IN MY YEARS OF BEING HERE, NO ONE EVER PICKS TEN.
>> YEAH. >> DO IT >> Questlove: I'M GOING TO PICK
TEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.
>> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK WORDS ARE WRITTEN ON NUMBER 10 >> Questlove: NOW I KNOW WHY NO
ONE EVER - [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN DO THIS.
>> Jimmy: OKAY >> ALL RIGHT, MIND MELD, MIND MELD
>> Questlove: I GOT YOU. I HOPE I GOT YOU [ LAUGHTER ]
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO SLEEP IN HOURS THOUGH >> SURE, SURE.
>> Questlove: YOU READY? >> YEAH. >> Questlove: OKAY
>> Jimmy: YOU READY? >> OKAY. DO YOU WANT TO COME HERE
ALISON >> YEAH. GUYS, GUYS
OKAY, OKAY CUPID! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD CUPID. >> BABY FISH MOUTH
BABY FISH MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY
BEE. BEE. BE YOURSELF.
BEE. BUMBLEBEE. BEE.
>> Jimmy: VALENTINES >> BE MINE BE MINE!
>> Jimmy: YES! [ BELL RINGING ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* >> Jimmy: OH, WOW. >> WOW
WOW. >> Jimmy: NOT BAD. >> THAT WAS --
THAT WAS - >> Jimmy: THAT WAS ONE OF THE WORST BEES I'VE EVER SEEN.
>> SHE'S A GENIUS. >> Jimmy: IN THE HISTORY OF IT >> WELL DONE, WELL DONE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DRAW A TUNNEL I MEAN, COME ON.
THAT IS A BEE? COME ON. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
WHAT NUMBER, GUYS? [ AUDIENCE SHOUTING >> Jimmy: I HEARD YOU SAY FOUR
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Questlove: WHY YOU LOOK OVER THERE?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WELL I'M LIKE, DUDE, VALENTINE'S DAY THEMED >> OKAY.
OKAY OKAY >> ROMANCING THE STONE
BLANK PAGE BLANK PAGE BLANK.
SHOOTING BLANKS. >> Jimmy: WE GOT THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
WE'LL START. WE DIDN'T START YET. >> OH, SORRY, SORRY.
OKAY, GO >> Jimmy: OKAY, HERE WE GO READY?
>> OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. OVAL YOU GOT AN OVAL.
YOU GOT A BOWL BOWL BOWL OF HONEY.
BOWL OF HONEY LOVE BOWL, BOWL
WALKING BOWL YOU GOT A BOWL WITH LEGS YOU GOT A BOWL LEGGED.
BOW LEGGED BOW LEGGED BEE A BATHTUB.
WE'VE GOT A TUB FULL - BUBBLE BATH. >> Jimmy: YES!
[ BELL RINING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW! >> YEAH-YA
YEAH-YA. * >> ALL RIGHT
WE GOT TO SILENCE THIS >> Jimmy: OH MY GOD! >> YES
>> Jimmy: COME ON MAN. WE'RE CRUSHING >> JIMMY, I'M HAVING A WARDROBE
MALFUNCTION! COULD YOU ZIP THIS UP FOR ME [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO, I CAN'T. >> ZIP IT UP ZIP IT UP.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, NO PROBLEM YEP OKAY >> THERE WE GO
OKAY, THANK YOU. >> FAIR ENOUGH ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
>> GREAT [ LAUGHTER ] I'M PSYCHED.
[ LAUGHTER ] WHOA [ LAUGHTER ]
>> JIMMY, GO FIX IT! >> ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT.
YOU READY? >> Questlove: I THINK I AM ARE YOU READY?
>> WHO'S COMING WITH ME? >> Questlove: OKAY I GOT YOU.
>> ALL RIGHT OKAY, SO [ LAUGHTER ]
SO, WE'VE GOT A THING HERE LIKE THIS >> Questlove: YOU HAD ME AT
HELLO? >> OKAY. THERE'S THIS LITTLE --
>> Questlove: WOODEN HORSE BED >> OKAY, AND THEN THERE'S -- >> Questlove: BED OF ROSES
>> OKAY. OKAY AND JUST STAY WITH ME.
SAY WITH ME. >> Questlove: BUNK BEDS. BUNK BEDS.
ON TOP LOVE ON TOP. >> OKAY.
OKAY >> LOOKS LIKE A BALANCE BEAM [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY, >> Questlove: CALIGULA CALIGULA
>> OKAY, SEE - >> Jimmy: CALIGULA >> Questlove: MENAGE A TROIS
[ BUZZER ] [ SAD TUBA ] >> AHH
>> Jimmy: MENAGE A TROIS >> Questlove: OH, COUPLES MASSAGE.
>> COUPLES MASSAGE [ DING ] [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
[ SAD TUBA ] >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO >> WHAT?
>> Questlove: THAT WAS GENIUS. >> THAT WAS A BURRRR THAT WAS A BURRR
>> Questlove: I WANT TO FRAME THIS I WANT TO FRAME THIS
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU HAVE TO FRAME THIS COUPLE'S MESSAGE
>> CALIGULA? >> I TRIED TO DO IT A SLOW AS POSSIBLE
>> Jimmy: "CALIGULA," IS WHAT HE SAID. >> WHAT'S VALENTINY ABOUT
CALIGULA [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: MENAGE A TROIS
>> IN THE THOMPSON HOUSEHOLD THAT WAS A CLASSIC >> Jimmy: QUEST, YOU AND
ASHTON, FOR THE FINAL ROUND. >> Questlove: YES, OKAY. >> Jimmy: OKAY
AND HERE'S THE DEAL, WHOEVER GETS THIS FIRST, WHATEVER TEAM GET'S IT FIRST WINS THE WHOLE
THING. >> WAIT, IT'S A CO-FLOW. >> Jimmy: IT'S A CO-FLOW >> WE
CAN DO THIS TOGETHER, OKAY >> EVERYBODY'S STANDING AND I ALSO WANT TO BE STANDING
>> IT'S A MENAGE A DRAW. >> Jimmy: IT'S A MENAGE A DRAW YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
>> MENAGE A DRAW >> Jimmy: YES. >> Questlove: WHAT NUMBER ARE
WE DOING >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW >> SOMEONE SAID SIX.
>> WE GOT TO DO THE SAME ONE >> MENAGE A DRAW >> WAIT, WHO'S THAT?
WHAT IS THAT >> Questlove: I DON'T KNOW OKAY, IF WE DON'T KNOW
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU THINININININININININININININ >> Jimmy: DRAW WHAT YOU THINK
IT IS. >> Questlove: OKAY >> Jimmy: YOU WANT ME TO CLEAR
YOUR PAGE? >> OKAY. WAIT
>> Jimmy: WAIT HOLD ON. GOT TO CLEAR HIS PAGE.
>> SHOOTING BLANKS SHOOTING BLANKS. >> Jimmy: DRAW WHAT YOU THINK
THIS IS. >> STANDING. I'M STAYING STANDING
>> OKAY, YOU READY >> Jimmy: CUPID. HALLMARK
>> COUPLES MASSAGE >> Jimmy: CUBE, RECTANGLE. >> TABLE
BOX. >> Jimmy: WHAT IN THE -- WHAT? >> CORN HOLE
>> Jimmy: STOVE. HOT! >> STOVE
HOT FIRE MY STOVE'S ON FIRE >> Jimmy: SORRY.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUN IN THE OVEN. >> BUN IN THE OVEN
>> Jimmy: YES. YOU'RE SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING, BUT BETTER
>> YOU'RE SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING >> Jimmy: HOT STOVE.
STANDING ON THE STOVE. >> HOT BURNING HOT LOVE
>> Jimmy: SITTING ON THE STOVE PEOPLE - >> BURNER.
>> Jimmy: SMOKE. [ BUZZER ] >> Questlove: THIS IS
IMPOSSIBLE >> Jimmy: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT >> HOLDING HANDS
>> WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE DOING? >> DANCING
>> Jimmy: THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE WRESTLING. WRESTLING WITH -
WRESTLE FIRE WRESTLING MATCH. STOVE TOP STUFFING
>> STOVE WRESTLE >> WRESTLE STOVE [ SAD TUBA ]
>> Jimmy: WRESTLE STOVER [ RIM SHOT ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> I SAY WE DO ONE MORE. >> Questlove: NOW, I'M LOOKING OVER THERE
>> Jimmy: I THINK WE HAVE TO GET JUDGES >> NOW, I'M LOOKING OVER THERE
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER >> Jimmy: JUDGES, GIVE THEM THE POINTS, RIGHT?
[ BELL RINGING ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
WE GOT RUSSELL STOVER. WE HAD TO GET RUSSELL STOVER THAT'S PRETTY GOOD
>> ALL RIGHT MY THANKS TO ASHTON KUTCHER, THE CHAMP.
ALISON BRIE, QUESTLOVE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'RE TALKING TO ASHTON AFTER
THE BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. RUSSELL STOVER
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: DID YOU GO UP TO
HARRY AND GIVE HIM SOME ADVICE HEY, I THINK YOU GOT SOMETHING KID.
>> NO. SO, HE COMES OFF THE THING MILA AND I ARE LIKE, GOD,
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD YOU SHOULD DO THIS >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN
ACTOR, PRODUCER, AND ENTREPRENEUR HE'S STARRING ALONGSIDE
REESE WITHERSPOON IN THE NEW MOVIE, "YOUR PLACE OR MINE," WHICH BEGINS STREAMING ON
NETFLIX THIS FRIDAY. PLEASE WELCOME ASHTON KUTCHER!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * >> Jimmy: THAT'S
ASHTON KUTCHER, YES! WELCOME. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
MY MAN COME ON NOW. DANCE!
>> SO NICE >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I LIKE INTRODUCING YOU.
I JUST INTRODUCED YOU FOR THE GAME AND I --
>> I GOT A DOUBLE INTRO. >> Jimmy: DOUBLE INTRO YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD THING.
>> THAT'S A GOOD THING IT'S IN THE CONTRACT NOW >> Jimmy: YEAH, EVERY TIME YOU
HAVE TO DO IT. >> I'M NEVER DOING A SHOW AGAIN WITHOUT THE DOUBLE INTRO
>> Jimmy: I HEARD THIS STORY YOU TOLD RECENTLY ABOUT A KARAOKE PARTY THAT YOU WENT
TO AT A NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE >> OH, GOD OH, GOD.
THIS HAS BECOME, LIKE, A THING >> Jimmy: IT HAS BECOME A THING.
>> IT'S A THING NOW. LIKE -- >> Jimmy: THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO
TALK ABOUT IT. IT'S BECOME A THING. >> I WENT -- MY NEIGHBOR HAD A
A BIRTHDAY PARTY >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND -- AND THEY HAD A
A KARAOKE PARTY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> MILA AND I WENT TO THE PARTY
AND WE'RE SITTING THERE AND THIS GUY GETS UP AND HE STARTS SINGING THIS ABBA SONG
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND HE WAS UNBELIEVABLE I WAS LIKE -- THIS GUY'S LIKE,
"HE'S REALLY GOOD. AND I USED TO GO TO KARAOKE ALL THE TIME
I USED TO GO WITH, LIKE -- AT LIKE, FAIRFAX FARMERS MARKET USED TO HAVE A KARAOKE EVERY
WEEKEND. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THERE WERE, LIKE,
RINGERS THAT WERE THERE. THEY WERE, LIKE, UNBELIEVABLE RING --
AND THE GUY GETS ONSTAGE AND I TURN TO MILA, I'M LIKE, "THIS GUY'S A RINGER."
HE'S LIKE THE REAL - HE'S LIKE THE REAL - >> Jimmy: AH
YEAH, HE GOES TO KARAOKE THINGS ON THE WEEKENDS. >> HE MUST BE ON THE KARAOKE
CIRCUIT. >> Jimmy: HE DOES ABBA >> HE DOES A KARAOKE THING
>> Jimmy: HE DOES THE ABBA SONG AND THEN HE GOES TO THE NEXT CLUB AND CRUSHES
DOES ABBA ALL NIGHT. >> EXACTLY HE IS, LIKE, A HANDSOME GUY.
BUT HE IS, LIKE, PERFORMING IT AND WE'RE LIKE, "MAN, HE'S REALLY GOOD.
AND WE TURN TO OUR FRIEND, AND WE'RE LIKE, "MAN, THAT GUY WAS REALLY GOOD.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "THAT'S HARRY STYLES." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND I -- AND I -- >> Jimmy: IT'S HARRY STYLES. >> AND -- BUT -- I DIDN'T KNOW
WHO THAT WAS >> Jimmy: REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW HARRY STYLES?
>> I LEGITIMATELY DON'T. I -- JIMMY, I'M SO POP CULTURE-ANEMIC IN MY LIFE.
I DON'T WATCH. I -- LIKE, I -- IF YOU ASK ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE HUBBLE
TELESCOPE, I COULD TELL YOU. IF YOU ASK ME WHAT THE LATEST ADVANCEMENTS IN ALZHEIMER
RESEARCH ARE, I COULD PROBABLY GIVE YOU A COUPLE CITATIONS. [ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU ASK ME WHO THE GUY IS WHO INVENTED CHAT GPT 3, AND PICK HIM OUT OF THE CROWD?
I'LL TELL YOU WHO HE IS. >> Jimmy: IF I SAY, "WHAT'S THE NUMBER ONE SONG?", YOU'D BE
LIKE "NO." >> NO CLUE >> Jimmy: REALLY
>> NO CLUE, I DON'T KNOW >> Jimmy: DID -- DID YOU GO UP TO HARRY AND GIVE HIM SOME
ADVICE AND GO, "HEY, I THINK YOU GOT SOMETHING, KID."
>> I -- NO [ LAUGHTER ] HE COME -- NO, SO HE COMES OFF
THE THING. AND MILA AND I ARE BOTH LIKE, "GOD, YOU'RE REALLY GOOD
YOU SHOULD, LIKE, DO THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HE GOES, "YEAH, I DO
DO THIS. I DO THIS PRETTY SUCCESSFULLY. YES.
>> GUYS, IT WAS EIGHT YEARS AGO, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ]
HE WAS IN, LIKE, SOME D12 BAND OR SOMETHING [ AUDIENCE GROANS
THAT WAS, LIKE, HIS THING. >> Jimmy: NO >> I DON'T KNOW!
>> Jimmy: NO, ONE DIR -- >> BECAUSE I'M NOT JUST -- >> Jimmy: JUST STOP, JUST STOP,
JUST STOP. >> NO, I LIKE HARRY. HE'S A NICE GUY.
>> Jimmy: STOP TALKING JUST STOP. >> I DON'T --
I DON'T KNOW >> Jimmy: NO, YOU DON'T KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW
>> I JUST DON'T KNOW >> Jimmy: YOU'RE A TALENTED ACTOR, A PRODUCER.
YOU'RE AN ENTREPRENEUR I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ALMOST THE NEW OPRAH OF THE TECH WORLD.
[ CHEERS ] WHATEVER YOU TOUCH GOES -- >> YOU GET A SPOTIFY
YOU GET A -- >> Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NO ONE'S GETTING SPOTIFY
>> CAN WE NOT SAY THAT >> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU CAN. I THOUGHT -- I HAD SOME IDEAS.
THESE ARE LEGIT IDEAS. [ LAUGHTER ] CAN I PITCH YOU AN IDEA?
AND IF -- AND IF YOU LIKE IT, YOU DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WANT >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT? >> OKAY. OKAY
PITCH THEM PITCH THEM PITCH THEM
>> Jimmy: DO THEY HAVE TO BE APPS OR CAN THEY BE ANYTHING >> YOU CAN PITCH ME ANYTHING
BUT I'M -- CAN I GIVE YOU CRITICAL FEEDBACK? YOU OKAY WITH IT
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH I'M READY TO GO.
>> LET'S GO. PASS [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T START OH, ALL RIGHT. THIS ONE -- FIRST ONE IS CALLED
WINK IT'S A DATING APP. AND WHAT YOU DO IS IT'S WHEN --
IN THE FUTURE WHEN PEOPLE ARE GOING TO WEAR GLASSES WITH, LIKE, AI AND STUFF
>> LIKE CONTACT LENSES WITH AI THAT'S COMING. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> THAT'S COMING >> Jimmy: THEY ARE SO, IF YOU SEE SOMEONE ON THE
STREET AND YOU THINK THEY'RE CUTE, YOU GO -- YOU GIVE THEM A LITTLE --
[ LAUGHTER ] AND IT GOES INTO THEIR WINK FILE AND THEY GO, "SOMEONE
WINKED AT YOU. [ AUDIENCE OOHS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND THEY GO, "HEY, SOMEONE WINKED AT ME." AND YOU CAN LOOK IT UP
YOU CAN DECIDE TO DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. >> LIKE, THE WINK IS THE NEW
SWIPE RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH IT'S JUST SAYING, "HEY, I'M
INTERESTED, IF YOU'RE SINGLE." >> I LIKE -- I LIKE THAT BUT I -- MY FEEDBACK WOULD BE
THAT'S A PRODUCT, NOT A PLATFORM [ AUDIENCE OOHS
WE HAVE TO COME UP WITH, LIKE, WHAT IS -- WHAT IS THE FILLED OUT PLATFORM OF IT
IT'S A GOOD PRODUCT IDEA I LIKE IT. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT
THIS ALL RIGHT, THIS IS A PRODUCT AGAIN.
NOT A PLATFORM [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, OKAY.
>> Jimmy: OH, I HAVE A DORITOS FLAVOR [ LAUGHTER ]
CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THAT? >> NO. >> Jimmy: DO YOU KNOW FRITO-LAY
PEOPLE OR WHATEVER, OR DORITOS PEOPLE I HAVE A GOOD FLAVOR FOR
DORITOS. >> I DID A CHEETOS COMMERCIAL ONCE
>> Jimmy: THAT'S CLOSE >> YEAH, THAT'S, KIND OF, LIKE --
>> Jimmy: THEY'RE IN THE FRITO-LAY FAMILY >> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: LET'S TALK YOU WANNA HEAR IT? >> OKAY, YEAH.
I'M READY TO GO. >> Jimmy: YOU READY FOR THE FLAVOR
THE NEW DORITOS FLAVOR [ CHEERS ] >> LET'S GO.
>> Jimmy: SEVEN LAYER DIP. [ AUDIENCE OOHS *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? >> MY GUY -- MY GUY, YOU SAVED
THE BEST FOR LAST. >> Jimmy: MY GUY [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU SAVED -- YOU SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST. >> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
ONE MORE LAST ONE. >> NO, NO. THAT SHOULD BE THE LAST ONE.
>> Jimmy: IT SHOULD? [ LAUGHTER ] >> REALLY, REALLY.
>> Jimmy: OUT OF ANY OF THESE IDEAS, ARE WE DOING ANY OF THESE?
NOTHING. OKAY, GOOD >> THE SEVEN LAYER DIP IDEA I
THINK IS GOOD. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, GOOD. LET'S TALK ABOUT "YOUR PLACE OR
MINE." >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YOU,
REESE WITHERSPOON, THAT'S A HOME RUN TO ME I THOUGHT -- OH, I'M RIGHT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WOULD WATCH YOU GUYS -- I WOULD WATCH YOU GUYS JUST DO
NOTHING AND EAT LUNCH, BUT YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER IN A ROMANTIC COMEDY
>> YEAH. >> Jimmy: I LOVE THIS. >> JIMMY, I -- SO, FOR HOWEVER
LONG -- I DID -- I'VE DONE TEN ROMANTIC COMEDIES. I WANT TO SAY LIKE FIVE OUT OF
THE TEN, I WAS LIKE -- I WOULD CALL MY AGENT AND BE LIKE, "CAN REESE DO IT?
IS REESE AVAILABLE SHOULD WE GET REESE? CAN WE GET REESE
CAN WE CALL REESE? CAN SOMEONE -- DOES SOMEONE HAVE REESE'S NUMBER?
WE SHOULD CALL REESE." >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND SHE WAS ALWAYS WORKING
ON SOMETHING ELSE. AND, AT A POINT, I WAS LIKE, "I JUST THINK SHE DOESN'T LIKE
ME." AND -- [ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN -- ACTUALLY, IN FACT, SHE RECENTLY TOLD ME A STORY ABOUT HOW SHE THOUGHT I WAS
WEIRD BECAUSE I WAS AT A PARTY ONE TIME AND I WAS CARRYING A COOLER AROUND AT THE PARTY
[ LAUGHTER ] AND THEY'RE LIKE -- AND SHE WAS LIKE, "NO, THERE'S A BAR THERE
YOU DON'T NEED YOUR OWN DRINKS." >> Jimmy: NO, THAT'S COOL.
I LIKE THAT GUY. >> SO, FOR -- FOR THE LONGEST TIME, I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, WELL,
THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. AND THEN, I WAS LIKE -- I WAS NOT SURE IF I WANTED TO DO
ANOTHER MOVIE. I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WANTED TO DO ANYTHING
MY AGENT SENT ME THIS THING, AND THEY'RE LIKE, "HEY, LISTEN IT'S ALINE BROSH McKENNA WHO
DID "DEVIL WEARS PRADA." SHE DID "27 DRESSES" AND IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AND I
REACHED OUT TO HER ON EVERY ROMANTIC COMEDY I DID. AND I WAS LIKE, "HEY, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THIS SCENE? CAN YOU HELP ME OUT? SHE WAS DIRECTING IT AND REESE
WAS STARRING IN IT I WAS LIKE, "WELL, LET ME STOP WHAT I'M DOING TODAY AND READ
THE SCREENPLAY." [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO BRAINER
>> AND I READ IT AND IT WAS PHENOMENAL. AND IT'S ABOUT A COUPLE THAT
ARE FRIENDS FOR, LIKE, 20 YEARS AND THEN DECIDE THAT MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING ROMANTIC
HERE AND I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.
>> Jimmy: SOUND FAMILIAR >> "I'VE NEVER BEEN IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP."
>> Jimmy: SOUND FAMILIAR >> AND SO, I WAS LIKE, "I HAVE TO DO THIS MOVIE."
>> Jimmy: YEAH >> AND THEN WE FIGURED IT OUT, MADE IT HAPPEN
IT WAS AMAZING >> Jimmy: IT'S GREAT IT'S REALLY FUN.
IT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE. IT'S OUT THIS FRIDAY
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S ASHTON KUTCHER AND REESE WITHERSPOON IN "YOUR
PLACE OR MINE. TAKE A LOOK.
>> ALL RIGHT, THIS ALSO SAYS
"URGENT. >> JACK LOVES THOSE CASSEROLES >> YOU KNOW, I COULD BUY
DINNER >> I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOT OF MONEY
BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU GETTING HIM TAKEOUT AND THINGS THAT ARE FANCY
>> YEAH, OKAY. HOMEWORK AND THEN FROZEN -- FOR DINNER
>> THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I FORGOT TO TELL YOU SHOOT.
I FORGOT WHAT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. >> DEBBIE, STOP.
TAKE A BREATH. LOOK AROUND. *
YEAH ENJOY IT CALL US LATER.
>> OKAY. >> Jimmy: COME ON. THAT'S -- COME ON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I WANT TO HUG THAT MOVIE I LOVE IT.
ASHTON KUTCHER, EVERYBODY. "YOUR PLACE OR MINE" BEGINS STREAMING THIS FRIDAY ON
NETFLIX. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ALISON BRIE.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST CO-WROTE AND STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE, "SOMEBODY I USED TO
KNOW," WHICH IS AVAILABLE ON PRIME VIDEO THIS FRIDAY. EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME
ALISON BRIE.
* *
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT ALISON BRIE. >> AH.
>> Jimmy: "SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW." WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ROMANTIC
COMEDIES TONIGHT IT'S GREAT >> IT'S A REAL ROM-COM KIND OF
NIGHT. >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT. >> I LIKE IT
>> Jimmy: I LOVE A ROMANTIC COMEDY BUT DO YOU -- WHEN YOU'RE
WRITING THIS, DO YOU GO, "OH, SOMETHING LIKE THIS, KIND OF, HAPPENED IN MY LIFE.
I'LL PUT THIS INTO THE MOVIE"? >> A LITTLE BIT. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THE MAIN
PREMISE OF THE MOVIE IS NOT ABOUT US, LUCKILY. BUT WE PUT A LOT OF LITTLE
DETAILS INTO IT, FOR SURE. AND, LIKE, DAVE'S A ROMANTIC GUY, SO WE CERTAINLY HAD SOME
SITUATIONS EARLY ON, YOU KNOW, WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING WE SPENT THE FIRST, LIKE, SIX
WEEKS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP IN DIFFERENT CITIES HE WAS SHOOTING A MOVIE CALLED
"NOW YOU SEE ME. AND SO, WE MET -- [ AUDIENCE OOHS
ALL RIGHT. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SOME MAGIC FANS IN THE
AUDIENCE SO, WE MET IN NEW ORLEANS DURING MARDI GRAS WHEN HE WAS
SHOOTING THAT. AND THEN THE MOVIE TOOK HIM TO NEW YORK AND WE, KIND OF,
RE-MET UP IN NEW YORK. AND HE WAS GOING TO FINISH SHOOTING THE MOVIE IN PARIS.
SO, WHILE WE'RE IN NEW YORK, HE HIDES A LITTLE -- MY LAST DAY IN NEW YORK, HE HIDES A LITTLE
NOTE IN MY SHOE. AND WHEN I'M PUTTING MY SHOE ON, I GET THIS LITTLE NOTE
AND IT SAYS, "MEET ME IN PARIS. [ AUDIENCE OOHS
AND THERE'S A LITTLE DRAWING OF TWO STICK FIGURES AND THE EIFFEL TOWER
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: WHAT >> SO, THEN I'M GOING TO GO TO
PARIS AND I TELL MY FRIENDS, "I'M MEETING THIS NEW GUY I'M SEEING IN PARIS.
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YOU'VE GOT TO GO TO THIS BRIDGE, THE PONT des ARTS.
PEOPLE PUT THEIR INITIALS ON LOCKS AND THEY LOCK IT ON THE BRIDGE
IT MEANS THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND THEY THROW THE KEYS INTO
THE SEINE. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> I WAS LIKE --
>> Jimmy: THROW THE KEY. >> "SLOW YOUR ROLL, I JUST MET THIS GUY."
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, I'M NOT LOCKING MY LOVE WITH THIS GUY.
>> YEAH. ALSO, LIKE, I DON'T NEED TO PUT THAT MESSAGE OUT TO HIM.
LIKE, LET ME TRY TO BE COOL AND ALOOF A LITTLE BIT >> Jimmy: YEAH, SMART.
>> SO, WE GET TO PARIS WE'RE WALKING AROUND ONE DAY IT'S RAINING
DAVE GIVES ME HIS JACKET, SO SWEET. >> Jimmy: YEAH
>> I PUT MY HAND IN THE POCKET AND PULL OUT A LITTLE LOCK THAT HAS OUR INITIALS ON IT
AND I LOOKED AT HIM, I WAS LIKE, "YOU LIKE ME OH, MY GOD!"
[ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HERE'S -- HERE'S THE --
>> WE LOCKED IT ON THE BRIDGE. >> Jimmy: HERE IT IS [ AUDIENCE AWS ]
>> AND WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER EVER SINCE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC THING IN THE WORLD
>> I MEAN, HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME >> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT.
DO -- DO YOU GO -- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BACK TO VISIT THE BRIDGE
>> WE DID GO BACK, AND I GUESS THE LOCKS WERE, LIKE, SAGGING DOWN THE WHOLE BRIDGE AND
COMPROMISING ITS INHERENT NATURE AS A BRIDGE AND THEY CUT -- THEY CUT ALL THE LOCKS
OFF. THEY PUT UP BIG FENCING SO NOBODY CAN PUT A LOCK ON EVER
AGAIN. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME
>> YEAH, SO I GUESS WE'RE GOING TO GET DIVORCED. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. NO
THAT -- NO, THIS LOVE IS HERE TO STAY. >> WE HAVE TO.
WE HAVE THE PHOTO. WE HAVE THE PHOTO. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE THE PHOTO
YEAH LOVE LIVES FOREVER >> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YES
>> Jimmy: LET'S -- I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE MOVIE AND -- AND THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE,
"SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW." >> YES >> Jimmy: BUT, SINCE YOU'RE
ALWAYS DOWN FOR A GAME AND SOMETHING FUN ON OUR SHOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN IF YOU
WOULD LIKE TO FREESTYLE A RAP WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT. >> YOU'VE DONE THIS TO ME
BEFORE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: IT MAKES ME --
>> YOU'VE DONE THIS TO ME BEFORE >> Jimmy: IT MAKES ME LAUGH.
IT MAKES ME LAUGH. IT -- BUT I MEAN, HERE'S WHAT --
YOU'RE NOT A RAPPER. >> LOOK, I'M NOT A RAPPER. SO, LET'S JUST SAY THAT BEFORE
WE DO ANYTHING ELSE. >> Jimmy: 'CAUSE EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT YOU CAME OUT.
EVERYONE'S LIKE, "OH, ALISON BRIE, THE RAPPER. >> THE RAPPER.
[ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW I'M KNOWN IN CERTAIN CIRCLES
BUT JUST TO DISPEL THAT RUMOR -- >> Jimmy: SO, YOU ARE NOT
A RAPPER >> I WILL -- >> Jimmy: BUT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO -- >> I WILL DO THE HONORS TONIGHT.
IF YOU GUYS WANNA -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> QUEST WILL DROP A BEAT. OH, ALL RIGHT. I'M FEELING IT
OKAY AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GO IN 3, 2, 1.
HERE IT COMES. * HERE'S A LITTLE TAL ABOUT A MOVIE I MADE *
* WITH MY SWEET ASS HUSBAND HIS NAME IS DAVE ABOUT GIRL MEETS BOY *
* OR RE-MEETS ACTUALL I DON'T WANT T START OFF THIS
RAP INFACTUALLY * [ CHEERS ] * SO THEY HANG OU
IN THEIR HOMETOW AND THEY HAVE GREAT NIGHT *
* JUST PALING AROUN AND SHE'S TOTALLY IN SHE THINKS HE'S THE ON
BUT THAT'S WHEN * * THINGS STOP BEING FUN SEE IT TURNS OUT
HE'S HEARING WEDDING BELLS BUT THEY'RE NOT ABOUT HER * * THEY'RE ABOUT
SOMEONE ELSE * >> Jimmy: OOH! * SO WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
WHERE COULD THIS G YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WATCH SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW *
>> Jimmy: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE COME ON NOW!
* THAT'S EXACTLY -- THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE.
ALISON BRIE! I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE'S ALISON BRIE IN "SOMEBODY
I USED TO KNOW." TAKE A LOOK.
*
>> ALLY? >> SEAN. OH, MY GOD
>> WERE YOU JUST HIDING UNDER THE TABLE? >> WAS I HIDE -- NO, NO.
I WAS JUST -- I WAS LOOKING FOR MY PEANUT. GOT IT
AH WELL, THIS IS CRAZY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> YEAH. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK YOU THE SAME THING
>> YOU KNOW, I'M JUST VISITING MY OLD HAUNTS ON THE OFF-CHANCE I MIGHT RUN INTO AN EX FROM TEN
YEARS AGO. >> OH, YEAH? HOW MANY HAVE YOU RUN INTO SO
FAR? >> Jimmy: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ALISON BRIE! "SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW" IS AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY ON PRIME
VIDEO. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY.
COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE *
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST KICKS OFF HIS NORTH AMERICAN TOUR IN MAY AND EVERYONE IN OUR
AUDIENCE IS GOING HOME WITH TICKETS TO A SHOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
PERFORMING "ONE LIFE" FROM HIS ALBUM "SONDER," PLEASE WELCOME DERMOT KENNEDY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
* * I'VE SEEN STARS REBOR
IN YOUR EYES SKY'S ON FIRE TONIGH ONE LIFE IS NEVER *
* LONG ENOUGH ONE LIFE IS NEVE LONG ENOUG
AT LAST CALL * * TURN OUT THE LIGHTS I HOPE I TREATED YOU RIGHT
ONE LIFE IS NEVE LONG ENOUGH FOR US * * TOO MANY PEOPLE WAL
AROUND WITH HEARTS HIDIN TERRIFIED OF HURTIN' SO THEY STAY SILENT *
* DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S WORT JUST TO LET A LIGHT IN THROUGH THE SHAD
IF LOVE HAD COME TO ME * * I WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE IT NOW EVERY TIME YOU SMILE
IT'S A LITTLE PRICELES NO STORY I COULD WEAVE * * WOULD HAVE ENDED LIKE THI
NO WAY ALL YOUR TROUBLE ALL YOUR PAIN *
* LET ME STRUGGLE CARRY THAT WEIGH ALL YOUR DEVILS FALL AWA
YOU'RE SO EASY TO LOVE * * I'VE SEEN STARS REBOR IN YOUR EYES
SKY'S ON FIRE TONIGH ONE LIFE IS NEVER * * LONG ENOUGH
ONE LIFE IS NEVE LONG ENOUG AT LAST CALL *
* TURN OUT THE LIGHTS I HOPE I TREATED YOU RIGHT ONE LIFE IS NEVE
LONG ENOUGH FOR US * * EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YO I'M REMINDED
THAT NOTHIN' LASTS FOREVER NOTHIN' STAYS TIMELESS * * SOMEDAY THERE'LL BE A KIS
AND THERE'LL BE GOODBYES WE'RE NOT EXEMPT OH I COULD LAY BESIDE *
* YOU A THOUSAND LIFETIME LIVE A THOUSAND MORE AND STILL PRAY FOR SUNRISE
EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU WAS * * A WARNING OF WHAT IT MEAN WHOA-O
ALL YOUR TROUBLE ALL YOUR PAIN * * LET ME STRUGGLE
CARRY THAT WEIGH ALL YOUR DEVILS FALL AWA YOU'RE SO EASY TO LOVE *
* I'VE SEEN STARS REBOR IN YOUR EYES SKY'S ON FIRE TONIGH
ONE LIFE IS NEVER * * LONG ENOUGH ONE LIFE IS NEVE
LONG ENOUG AT LAST CALL * * TURN OUT THE LIGHTS
I HOPE I TREATED YOU RIGHT ONE LIFE IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH FOR US *
* OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH OOH-OOH-OOH-OO ONE LIFE IS NEVE
LONG ENOUGH * * ONE LIFE IS NEVER LONG ENOUG
OOH-OOH-OOH-OO OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH * * ONE LIFE IS NEVER
LONG ENOUGH FOR US I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER I DON'T WANNA *
* SAY GOODNIGHT THAT MORNIN' IN DECEMBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIF
I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER * * I DON'T WANNA SAY GOODNIGH
THAT MORNIN' IN DECEMBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE * * I'VE SEEN STARS REBOR
IN YOUR EYES SKY'S ON FIRE TONIGH ONE LIFE IS NEVER *
* LONG ENOUGH ONE LIFE IS NEVE LONG ENOUG
AT LAST CALL * * TURN OUT THE LIGHTS I HOPE I TREATED YOU RIGHT
ONE LIFE IS NEVE LONG ENOUGH FOR US * * OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH
OOH-OOH-OOH-OO ONE LIFE IS NEVE LONG ENOUGH *
* ONE LIFE IS NEVER LONG ENOUG OOH-OOH-OOH-OO
OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH * * ONE LIFE IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH FOR US *
* [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * ONE LIFE IS NEVER
LONG ENOUGH FOR US * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT DERMOT KENNEDY
"SONDER" IS OUT NOW! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY MAN, YOU'VE GOT A VOICE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
ASHTON KUTCHER, ALISON BRIE. DERMOT KENNEDY, ONCE AGAIN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY
BYE-BYE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE