1 00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:49,751 Yeah, of course we're still exclusive, Tiff. 2 00:00:51,019 --> 00:00:52,219 Oh, don't listen to Chelsea. 3 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,421 Chelsea asked me before I even knew we were 4 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,490 so it's like, I don't know what to tell her. 5 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:00,728 Hey, hold on. 6 00:01:03,031 --> 00:01:03,865 Hello? 7 00:01:07,936 --> 00:01:09,369 Hey, who's there? 8 00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:14,341 Hey, whoever you are, show yourself. 9 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,951 That's what I thought, some pussy ass kids or something. 10 00:01:22,984 --> 00:01:26,854 No, of course I'm not gonna bone her, okay? 11 00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:29,256 You know, she smells like a rotten pumpkin. 12 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,123 Chelsea? 13 00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,659 She looks like Don Knotts. 14 00:01:31,693 --> 00:01:32,527 Gross! 15 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:34,662 Whoa! 16 00:01:34,696 --> 00:01:35,697 Yo, yo, bro. 17 00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:41,101 I'm a real deal legit MMA champ around here. 18 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:44,939 You're tangling with the fucking king, bruh. 19 00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:46,841 Oh, that's how it's gonna be? 20 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:50,044 This motherfucker wants to step to me? 21 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:54,414 Tiff, I'm gonna have to call you back. 22 00:01:58,753 --> 00:01:59,954 Hello? 23 00:01:59,988 --> 00:02:01,488 Thad? 24 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,957 Hello? 25 00:02:02,991 --> 00:02:03,858 Whatever. 26 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,126 I better not catch you fucking Chelsea. 27 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:09,097 You are so disgusting. 28 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,464 Fuck off! 29 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:14,102 ♪ Hawk and Rev save another day ♪ 30 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,739 ♪ Fighting vampires, chasing them away ♪ 31 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:52,172 ♪ Step up, step up ♪ 32 00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:06,788 Not cool, guys! 33 00:03:06,821 --> 00:03:07,655 Not cool! 34 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:11,959 Come on, seriously? 35 00:03:11,993 --> 00:03:13,995 ♪ Baby, my baby ♪ 36 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:14,862 Mom! 37 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,832 Dad? 38 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,299 Hello? 39 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,134 Hey! 40 00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:22,603 Come on, you little bitch. 41 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:25,372 ♪ From the inside to the outside ♪ 42 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,875 ♪ The beast is getting low ♪ 43 00:03:27,909 --> 00:03:29,577 ♪ Girl, you're welcome here ♪ 44 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:34,481 ♪ It's more than you know ♪ 45 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,651 ♪ You have my word ♪ 46 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,518 Crap. 47 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,822 Son of a bitch! 48 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,025 Fuck! 49 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,760 Huh, nice try, assholes. 50 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:49,864 ♪ You have my word as the branches have the sky ♪ 51 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,667 ♪ As these lungs take the air ♪ 52 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,536 ♪ There is no question of why ♪ 53 00:03:55,570 --> 00:04:00,575 ♪ My word is good ♪ 54 00:04:00,842 --> 00:04:03,611 ♪ My word is law ♪ 55 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,413 Dear Hawk, when we asked you 56 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,015 to move out six months ago, 57 00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:10,317 we did not mean into the backyard. 58 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,352 Your hobo camp is killing the grass 59 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,188 and the neighbors complained to the city 60 00:04:14,222 --> 00:04:15,623 about the smell again. 61 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,793 Also, if you're reading this, you broke in. 62 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,428 But this time, the alarm was on, wasn't it? 63 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:22,897 That's right. 64 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,364 The police are on their way 65 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:27,135 and you're no longer authorized to be on the property. 66 00:04:27,168 --> 00:04:30,270 Again, this does not mean we don't love you, son. 67 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,607 It just means it's time to leave the nest. 68 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,442 All the best, mom and dad. 69 00:04:54,262 --> 00:04:55,096 Oh! 70 00:04:57,999 --> 00:05:03,004 You get back here, you son of a bitch! 71 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,331 Sorry I'm late. 72 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,567 This rabid soccer mom 73 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,503 just tried to murder me with her minivan. 74 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,469 You wanna talk about it? 75 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,305 No! 76 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,739 I want her to die. 77 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:39,807 That's good. 78 00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:40,875 Get the anger out. 79 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,009 Fine. 80 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:45,279 I want her little shiny minivan to explode into flames 81 00:05:45,313 --> 00:05:48,082 and her whole un-American soccer-playing family 82 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,251 to roast alive and crackle! 83 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,185 Okay, I get it. 84 00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:53,120 We all have our inner battles to fight. 85 00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:53,955 Why don't you join in? 86 00:05:53,988 --> 00:05:55,189 It might make you feel better. 87 00:05:55,223 --> 00:05:56,891 What, do I just... 88 00:05:58,326 --> 00:05:59,594 Yeah, like that. 89 00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:01,229 Just like... 90 00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:02,096 Yeah. 91 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,464 Yeah, focus on your breathing. 92 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:05,498 That's good. 93 00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,836 Just like that. 94 00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:10,204 Wow. 95 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:11,739 That's good, Hawk. 96 00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:14,609 How does this help us kick ass again? 97 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,442 It doesn't. 98 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,111 I'm a vegan pacifist, remember? 99 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,680 What, are we supposed to keep doing it? 100 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:21,816 Yes, until you come to terms with your anger 101 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:22,884 and you can manage it. 102 00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:23,885 Yeah, well, that could be a while. 103 00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:26,354 My asshole parents just kicked me out again. 104 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,221 I thought you were out. 105 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:28,956 I was out, 106 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,024 in the yard. 107 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,727 Now they want me out out, like off the property. 108 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,161 Well, it is about time, right? 109 00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:35,963 Who's freaking side are you on here? 110 00:06:35,997 --> 00:06:36,864 That's good, Hawk. 111 00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:37,698 Go for it. 112 00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:38,933 Express how you really feel. 113 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:39,767 Fine! 114 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,601 I want them to die, Rev. 115 00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:42,670 I want them all to die, every one! 116 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,338 I want everyone to die! 117 00:06:44,372 --> 00:06:48,276 Death, dismember, dead, murder! 118 00:06:48,309 --> 00:06:49,610 Okay. 119 00:06:49,644 --> 00:06:51,478 We might be here a while. 120 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,915 In other news tonight, local MMA champ, 121 00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:56,784 Thadwick Dunfrey was found dead earlier today. 122 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,886 Police claim it's an isolated incident 123 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,522 with no connection to all the other recent... 124 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,356 I'm sorry. 125 00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:03,291 Where was I? 126 00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:04,825 You were explaining why you were late 127 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:05,660 again. 128 00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:06,493 Jesus Christ! 129 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,595 What's the big deal? 130 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,397 It's an empty goddamn building for Christ's sakes. 131 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,133 First of all, please stop using the Lord's name in vain. 132 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,669 And second, your shift starts at seven, Hawk. 133 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,805 And every time you're late, you really... 134 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:18,639 You screw me. 135 00:07:18,673 --> 00:07:19,472 Oh, don't worry. 136 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:20,308 I won't tell your wives. 137 00:07:20,341 --> 00:07:21,742 I mean, this has got to stop. 138 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:22,576 I got it. 139 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,577 I'm sorry. 140 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,913 My asshole prick parents finally kicked me out. 141 00:07:25,947 --> 00:07:27,415 It's been kind of a rough day. 142 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,516 Look on the bright side. 143 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,318 I mean, at least you can finally get your own place. 144 00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:31,218 Yeah, right. 145 00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:32,787 I could barely even get this shit job 146 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:36,257 after Uncle Sam boned me on that whole assault BS. 147 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,126 Well, you did stab a fellow soldier with a two by four. 148 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,028 Prepare to face your death, Dirkman. 149 00:07:41,062 --> 00:07:43,764 Never, human scum! 150 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,543 Take that, you undead piece of garbage. 151 00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:59,847 Shit, I guess I'm going to prison. 152 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,516 He was a bloodsucking, allergic to the sun, 153 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,585 filthy ass vampire, Arnold, 154 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,321 and I would stab him a thousand more times if I could. 155 00:08:07,355 --> 00:08:09,657 You do realize vampires don't exist, right? 156 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,758 If they don't exist, 157 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,860 why the hell did I stab that man with a two by four? 158 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,595 'Cause you're a paranoid schizophrenic 159 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,830 who better be taking his meds 160 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,598 or his PO is gonna be getting a call. 161 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,432 All right, all right. 162 00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:19,266 Jesus! 163 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,968 No need for threats. 164 00:08:26,374 --> 00:08:29,643 Hey, you mind if I leave some of my stuff? 165 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:30,911 Absolutely not. 166 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,246 And in lieu of your tardiness, 167 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:34,115 I'm gonna need you to drop some breaks tonight. 168 00:08:34,148 --> 00:08:36,650 My breaks are legally mandated by the federal government. 169 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,918 And if you've got a problem with that, 170 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,687 you take it up with the damn liberals. 171 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,955 I thought you were an anarchist. 172 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,523 Not when it comes to my breaks. 173 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:47,561 ♪ And if we don't need to fight to survive ♪ 174 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:56,370 ♪ Just surrender the fight ♪ 175 00:08:57,405 --> 00:09:02,410 ♪ If we don't need to see all that is wrong ♪ 176 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:07,615 ♪ Then just I do ♪ 177 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,718 ♪ The boys are right ♪ 178 00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:30,471 Holy shit! 179 00:09:33,808 --> 00:09:35,776 I feel like we really sank our teeth into them. 180 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:37,912 I can still taste the blood. 181 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,314 Mother effin' vampires. 182 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,083 This way, Forneus. 183 00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:44,218 Say cheese, fang faces. 184 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,354 What was that? 185 00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:48,456 Oh, shit! 186 00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:50,559 It came from over here. 187 00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:01,402 Must have just been a headlight or something. 188 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,703 All right. 189 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:03,971 Let's get this little guy inside. 190 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,606 I'm famished. 191 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,041 Come on, Forneus. 192 00:10:09,477 --> 00:10:10,945 Hey, it's Hawk. 193 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,947 Either they're filming another remake of Lost Boys 194 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,983 or I just saw some filthy ass vampires. 195 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,084 Office, ASAP. 196 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,662 You did not office ASAP. 197 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:29,663 I was on the bus. 198 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:32,333 But I called and told you I saw vampires, 199 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,536 like straight out of Lost Boys. 200 00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,737 Again, I was on the bus. 201 00:10:39,273 --> 00:10:40,341 Is that porn? 202 00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,842 No, it's public domain. 203 00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:42,877 It's porn. 204 00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,280 It's nonxploitation, actually. 205 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,381 Non? 206 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,316 You know what, Hawk, never mind. 207 00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:50,918 What is it that I'm doing here? 208 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:51,785 I mean, this isn't like the first time 209 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,154 that this has happened before. 210 00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:55,890 Actually, Rev, it's very, very different. 211 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:56,724 How so? 212 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:57,791 Well, for one, 213 00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,895 they had one of those guys in a leather mask deal. 214 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:01,862 Like a gimp? 215 00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:04,431 Yeah, on a leash, and they went into 201. 216 00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:05,567 201's vacant. 217 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,967 Not anymore it's not. 218 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,369 It's filled with a bunch of these guys 219 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:12,139 and their beady black eyes and bloody mouths. 220 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,912 I thought you couldn't take pictures of vampires. 221 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:20,881 So I don't understand. 222 00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,116 They don't give you a key? 223 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:23,050 It isn't in the contract. 224 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,752 They didn't give me healthcare either. 225 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,587 So you're just supposed to guard 226 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:26,720 the outside of the building? 227 00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:27,721 Yeah. 228 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,023 I guess whatever they do behind closed doors 229 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,057 is their business. 230 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:30,891 What about you? 231 00:11:30,925 --> 00:11:31,959 You're the janitor. 232 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:32,927 Don't you get a key? 233 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,930 Actually, I'm the groundskeeper, so. 234 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:36,764 Whatever. 235 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:37,731 Is that an actual lock pick? 236 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:38,699 Negative. 237 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,901 It's my mini Swiss army. 238 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:42,604 What? 239 00:11:42,637 --> 00:11:43,404 It's good enough for the Swiss army, 240 00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:44,573 it's good enough for me. 241 00:11:44,606 --> 00:11:46,073 All right, I need to get back to work. 242 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,610 That dog poop is not gonna clean itself. 243 00:11:48,643 --> 00:11:50,978 Ooh, Rev, look at this. 244 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,213 Hawk, no, no, no. 245 00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:53,747 That's, that's oil. 246 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,749 Oh, that's oil. 247 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,319 That comes from cars. 248 00:11:58,352 --> 00:12:00,721 I'm gonna, I'm gonna go. 249 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,892 I swear to God, Rev, on my mother's grave, I saw them. 250 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,428 Your mother's alive, Hawk. 251 00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:09,129 Your mother's alive. 252 00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:16,270 Dammit. 253 00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:26,648 Hawk, I told you not to call this number. 254 00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,148 You gotta call dispatch. 255 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,216 Yeah, sorry, Jack. 256 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,485 It's just, they keep hanging up on me. 257 00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:34,723 And my fight against the injustice and supernatural, 258 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:35,923 it just can't wait. 259 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:36,957 Fine. 260 00:12:36,991 --> 00:12:37,791 Go ahead. 261 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:38,627 Okay. 262 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:41,395 I wanna report some very highly, 263 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,364 extremely suspicious activity. 264 00:12:43,397 --> 00:12:44,566 Mm-hmm. 265 00:12:44,599 --> 00:12:47,702 Earlier tonight, this very highly suspicious SUV 266 00:12:47,736 --> 00:12:49,303 pulled up in our alley. 267 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,372 So naturally, I went to go check it out. 268 00:12:51,405 --> 00:12:52,373 Naturally. 269 00:12:52,406 --> 00:12:54,709 Yeah, so I went over there 270 00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:57,444 and what do you know, out popped two vampires. 271 00:12:57,478 --> 00:12:58,680 Two vampires? 272 00:12:58,713 --> 00:13:01,982 Yeah, like the gang from Lost Boys. 273 00:13:02,016 --> 00:13:03,350 The original or the sequels? 274 00:13:03,384 --> 00:13:04,184 The original. 275 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,819 Not such a big fan of the sequels. 276 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:06,920 Yeah, me neither. 277 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,789 You do realize that false reporting of crime 278 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,291 is a violation of your probation. 279 00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:11,660 This actually happened. 280 00:13:11,693 --> 00:13:12,960 That's what you said about the sleeper cell. 281 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,461 Yes, but this time is different. 282 00:13:14,495 --> 00:13:16,497 And that's also what you said about the Russians invading. 283 00:13:16,531 --> 00:13:18,866 Well, I saw Red Dawn one too many times that week. 284 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:19,800 And the werewolves? 285 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,802 Well, that time, I just plain messed up. 286 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,104 All right, Hawk, here's what's gonna happen. 287 00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:26,373 You stop calling in crazy stuff in the middle of the night. 288 00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:28,743 In exchange, I'm not gonna arrest you. 289 00:13:28,777 --> 00:13:29,644 Got it? 290 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:30,779 - But... - Bye. 291 00:13:32,046 --> 00:13:33,047 Goddammit. 292 00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:47,696 ♪ Oh, Hawk, no one ever believes you ♪ 293 00:13:47,729 --> 00:13:50,464 ♪ Nobody ever sees you ♪ 294 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:54,234 ♪ In the way that you wanna be seen ♪ 295 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,970 ♪ Baby, don't you know ♪ 296 00:13:57,004 --> 00:14:00,709 ♪ You're just a lone ranger ♪ 297 00:14:00,742 --> 00:14:03,645 ♪ There ain't no danger ♪ 298 00:14:03,678 --> 00:14:07,448 ♪ Oh, just let it be, just let it be ♪ 299 00:14:07,481 --> 00:14:10,150 ♪ Oh, let it be ♪ 300 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:17,091 Any more sightings? 301 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:18,125 No. 302 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:18,959 I don't what happened. 303 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,829 They just disappeared or something, 304 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,863 kinda like all these folks. 305 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,365 Yeah, that's what they do. 306 00:14:24,398 --> 00:14:25,966 What, the people or the vampires? 307 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,135 The imaginary things you see in your head. 308 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,471 I did not imagine them, Rev. 309 00:14:30,505 --> 00:14:31,740 Well, at least you didn't call the police again. 310 00:14:31,773 --> 00:14:32,774 That's good. 311 00:14:36,377 --> 00:14:37,177 No! 312 00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:38,011 It doesn't even matter. 313 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,113 They didn't believe me anyway, so. 314 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,315 You reported vampires with a gimp on a leash. 315 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,584 Oh, okay. 316 00:14:42,617 --> 00:14:45,553 I see how it is. 317 00:14:45,587 --> 00:14:46,588 Oh, come on, Hawk. 318 00:14:46,621 --> 00:14:47,421 I'm sorry. 319 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,656 I just, I don't wanna see you 320 00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,257 get in trouble again, that's all. 321 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,091 I agree, Rev. 322 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:52,126 You are sorry. 323 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,762 You're a four-eyed, bird-legged groundskeeper 324 00:14:53,795 --> 00:14:55,730 who doubts his friends. 325 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,266 Are we still doing tai chi today? 326 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,636 I only do tai chi with my friends. 327 00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:04,572 ♪ Well, I didn't sleep a wink last night ♪ 328 00:15:04,606 --> 00:15:07,509 ♪ Work's drying up and money's tight ♪ 329 00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:10,678 You talking to me, fang face? 330 00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,146 What's that, blood sucker? 331 00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:14,381 Oh, you want my life force? 332 00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:16,250 Why don't you come take it then, you corpse? 333 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,753 ♪ There's holes on my safety net ♪ 334 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:23,758 ♪ And it's a goddamn lie when I say I'm doing fine ♪ 335 00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:30,264 ♪ Didn't think this was what I'm supposed to get ♪ 336 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,099 ♪ By doing everything that I ♪ 337 00:15:41,643 --> 00:15:42,877 Oh! 338 00:15:42,911 --> 00:15:44,144 Hey, Terry! 339 00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:45,245 What the hell, man? 340 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,079 Hey, Hawk. 341 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,281 I didn't realize you were home. 342 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,884 What the hell does that mean? 343 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:02,396 No, I called it in because I thought it was a real threat. 344 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,064 These three vampires. 345 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:04,899 Yeah. 346 00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:05,966 Well, no. 347 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,736 Two of them were vampires, one of them was a gimp. 348 00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:09,571 A gimp. 349 00:16:09,604 --> 00:16:10,872 Yes, on a leash. 350 00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:12,072 A gimp on a leash? 351 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,140 Yes! 352 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,810 Jesus Christ, has no one in this town heard of S&M? 353 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:16,945 I'm a Mormon, Hawk. 354 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,446 And please, stop using the Lord's name in vain! 355 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,448 What is your point, Arnold? 356 00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,083 That is my point. 357 00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,493 Hey, it's Hawk. 358 00:16:32,527 --> 00:16:34,127 Yeah, I just wanted to say I'm real sorry 359 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,497 about calling you four eyed, bird legged, 360 00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:39,132 and ignoring you on the beach earlier today. 361 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,835 It just, it really hurts 362 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:44,104 when my only friend in the world doesn't believe me. 363 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,206 Anyway, I've been thinking more about it, 364 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,308 and it is all in my head. 365 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,714 Maybe I've been imagining the whole thing. 366 00:16:54,516 --> 00:16:56,149 Holy shit! 367 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,018 They're back. 368 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,654 We should probably call this in. 369 00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:01,689 I already did, remember? 370 00:17:01,723 --> 00:17:03,257 They're not gonna believe us. 371 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,458 What if I do it? 372 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,527 They'll still think it's me. 373 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,360 Trust me. 374 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,427 You call them that much? 375 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:10,097 The world's a terrifying place, Rev. 376 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:10,965 Shit! 377 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,166 Did they see us? 378 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,067 No. 379 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:14,903 Did they see us? 380 00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:15,904 Shh. 381 00:17:15,937 --> 00:17:16,905 Are you kidding me? 382 00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:17,872 Sorry. 383 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,807 Wow, look at that gimp. 384 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:24,077 I think I sharted. 385 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:24,946 Oh, God. 386 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,431 All right, I'll be willing to consider... 387 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,266 Yes, I knew it. 388 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,836 If and only if we lay out some ground rules. 389 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:49,904 Rules of engagement. 390 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:50,738 I love it. 391 00:17:50,772 --> 00:17:51,739 What did you have in mind? 392 00:17:51,773 --> 00:17:54,074 First off, no hurting or killing of any kind. 393 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,743 Wait, does that rule out staking? 394 00:17:55,777 --> 00:17:57,477 Staking hurts and/or kills. 395 00:17:57,512 --> 00:17:58,312 Okay. 396 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,180 What about asphyxiation by garlic? 397 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,381 Asphyxiat... 398 00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,450 Asphyxiation. 399 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:04,318 Asphyxi... 400 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:05,285 Asphyxiation. 401 00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,689 Asphyxiation implies hurting or killing. 402 00:18:07,722 --> 00:18:09,891 Okay, well, how about holy water boarding? 403 00:18:09,924 --> 00:18:10,892 Water boarding is torture. 404 00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:11,926 So even if it's holy? 405 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,127 Yes, that is the same... 406 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:16,296 Secondly, we get help. 407 00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:17,297 No, no. 408 00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:19,067 I'm a black belt and I was army special ops. 409 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,001 I got this. 410 00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:23,303 You guarded urinal cakes and TP, Hawk. 411 00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:25,974 Fine. 412 00:18:26,007 --> 00:18:27,341 I got a guy. 413 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:28,643 I'll text him. 414 00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:29,476 And no arrests. 415 00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:30,310 What? 416 00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:31,411 Jesus Christ! 417 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,984 Are you really gonna wear that? 418 00:18:36,017 --> 00:18:37,250 I like my jumpsuit. 419 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,886 Yeah, but you always wear them. 420 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,421 I mean, what if we have to do cloak and dagger stuff? 421 00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:44,092 What, like sitting on street corners? 422 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:44,926 Oh, shit. 423 00:18:44,959 --> 00:18:46,460 There he is. 424 00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:51,164 Where'd you find this guy? 425 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,201 Oh, army prison, maximum security. 426 00:18:55,703 --> 00:18:57,872 Put these on your faces. 427 00:18:58,740 --> 00:18:59,641 And get in. 428 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:18,526 Okay, take off the blindfolds. 429 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,531 Hawk, he's got a gun. 430 00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:24,799 No shit, Rev. 431 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:27,267 Okay, tell me who sent you. 432 00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:31,338 Tell me or you're gonna know what it's like 433 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,273 to have hot metal pierce your flesh. 434 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,242 Actually, I kinda know what that feels like. 435 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,111 I actually shot myself in bootcamp. 436 00:19:37,145 --> 00:19:37,979 Shut up. 437 00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:39,947 Who are you? 438 00:19:39,981 --> 00:19:42,650 It's Hawk from cell block nine. 439 00:19:42,684 --> 00:19:46,486 You stopped that Nazi skinhead from raping me. 440 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,388 I'm the guy who stabbed 441 00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:52,126 the vampire soldier with a two by four. 442 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,061 Oh, yeah. 443 00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:56,430 I remember you. 444 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,132 You're the dumbest guy I ever met. 445 00:19:58,166 --> 00:19:59,133 Oh, that's him. 446 00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:00,400 Shut the fuck up, hippie! 447 00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:01,401 Oh, no, no, no. 448 00:20:01,435 --> 00:20:02,369 He's cool, he's cool. 449 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,738 This is my partner, Rev. 450 00:20:03,771 --> 00:20:04,972 It's not his fault. 451 00:20:05,006 --> 00:20:09,443 His folks brought him up on a vegan, yogi, nudist commune. 452 00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:29,764 What are you looking at, hippie? 453 00:20:29,797 --> 00:20:30,631 Nothing. 454 00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:33,101 No, you're looking at my eye. 455 00:20:33,134 --> 00:20:34,035 No, I wasn't. 456 00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:34,902 I swear. 457 00:20:34,936 --> 00:20:36,104 You're making fun of my handicap. 458 00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:37,404 No, sir. 459 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,173 You know what? 460 00:20:39,207 --> 00:20:41,209 I lost this eye so you could buy gas 461 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,544 for that foreign car you drive. 462 00:20:43,578 --> 00:20:44,812 I'm a bus passenger. 463 00:20:44,846 --> 00:20:45,980 - I don't drive. - Shut up. 464 00:20:46,013 --> 00:20:47,515 You were saying. 465 00:20:47,548 --> 00:20:48,649 Oh, yeah. 466 00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:50,985 We got a vampire problem. 467 00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:51,953 Vampire? 468 00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:53,020 Uh-huh. 469 00:20:53,054 --> 00:20:56,858 Black eyes, blood mouths, and a gimp on a leash. 470 00:20:56,891 --> 00:20:58,059 A gimp on a leash? 471 00:20:58,092 --> 00:21:00,561 Yeah, like an S&M mask or whatever. 472 00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:01,829 I'll look into it. 473 00:21:01,863 --> 00:21:05,066 Actually, we were hoping that you might wanna 474 00:21:05,099 --> 00:21:07,802 maybe take care of this with us, like together. 475 00:21:07,835 --> 00:21:08,803 You know what? 476 00:21:08,836 --> 00:21:11,371 I'm more of a lone wolf type of operator so... 477 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:12,173 That's great. 478 00:21:12,206 --> 00:21:13,241 We love wolves. 479 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,842 Yeah, they're our favorite animal. 480 00:21:14,876 --> 00:21:16,577 I work alone, no partners. 481 00:21:16,611 --> 00:21:17,612 I tend to kill 'em. 482 00:21:17,645 --> 00:21:20,515 So if there's nothing else. 483 00:21:20,548 --> 00:21:21,481 No, wait. 484 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:24,919 What about being like a mentor? 485 00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:26,888 You ever thought about that? 486 00:21:26,921 --> 00:21:29,824 I mean, you can still be your lone wolf self, 487 00:21:29,857 --> 00:21:32,894 but you can also help out some cubs in need 488 00:21:32,927 --> 00:21:36,264 and passing down your lone wolf tricks. 489 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,132 And what's in it for the lone wolf? 490 00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,334 I guess these cubs could do things with their cub talents 491 00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:43,336 like this cub can guard. 492 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:45,239 And this cub's a groundskeeping engineer. 493 00:21:45,273 --> 00:21:46,140 Like a janitor? 494 00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:47,141 Yeah, but on the outside. 495 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,276 Hmm, like a guard? 496 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:49,877 Less with plants. 497 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:00,888 I looked at your eye. 498 00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:10,097 All right, here's a list. 499 00:22:10,131 --> 00:22:11,431 Meet me here after sundown. 500 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:14,735 And remember, this mission and my mentorship, a top secret. 501 00:22:14,769 --> 00:22:15,570 You understand? 502 00:22:15,603 --> 00:22:16,403 Sir, yes, sir. 503 00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:17,370 Sir, yes, sir. 504 00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,371 What the hell was that? 505 00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:19,273 I'm saluting you, sir. 506 00:22:19,307 --> 00:22:21,042 You're our lone wolf mentor now, sir. 507 00:22:21,075 --> 00:22:21,876 Sir, yes, 508 00:22:21,909 --> 00:22:22,710 sir, yes, sir. 509 00:22:22,743 --> 00:22:24,011 Cut the shit. 510 00:22:24,846 --> 00:22:26,948 Now, close your eyes and count to a hundred. 511 00:22:26,981 --> 00:22:27,882 Don't even! 512 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:33,420 One, two, three, four. 513 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,089 I feel like that went really well. 514 00:22:35,122 --> 00:22:35,923 I think so too. 515 00:22:35,957 --> 00:22:37,859 I said a hundred. 516 00:22:37,892 --> 00:22:38,793 Five. 517 00:22:38,826 --> 00:22:42,063 Six, seven, eight, nine, 518 00:22:42,096 --> 00:22:42,930 10, 11, 519 00:22:44,165 --> 00:22:44,999 12, 13. 520 00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:46,868 When do we stop? 521 00:22:46,901 --> 00:22:48,002 14, 15. 522 00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:48,836 Keep going, Rev. 523 00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:50,538 - Six, seven, 18. - What? 524 00:22:50,571 --> 00:22:52,673 - You went backwards. - 19. 525 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,650 Okay, item one, garlic, five pounds. 526 00:23:02,683 --> 00:23:03,784 Grocery store? 527 00:23:03,818 --> 00:23:05,052 Yeah, but remember, no asphyx... 528 00:23:05,086 --> 00:23:06,153 Asphyxiation. 529 00:23:06,187 --> 00:23:07,355 Yes, I got it. 530 00:23:08,856 --> 00:23:09,657 I don't know. 531 00:23:09,690 --> 00:23:10,691 Are you sure about this? 532 00:23:10,725 --> 00:23:11,525 Yeah. 533 00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,493 I'm only touching organic garlic. 534 00:23:13,527 --> 00:23:15,963 It just seems like a conspiracy. 535 00:23:15,997 --> 00:23:19,267 One could say the same thing about vampires. 536 00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:21,903 Item two, two by fours, lots. 537 00:23:21,936 --> 00:23:23,137 I guess the lumber company. 538 00:23:23,170 --> 00:23:24,772 Yeah, but remember, no staking. 539 00:23:24,805 --> 00:23:26,406 Yes, I remember. 540 00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:28,042 Here you go. 541 00:23:28,075 --> 00:23:29,310 You got this. 542 00:23:29,343 --> 00:23:30,511 Yeah, it's too much. 543 00:23:30,544 --> 00:23:31,612 I'm gonna fall. 544 00:23:31,646 --> 00:23:32,813 Yeah, I'm gonna fall. 545 00:23:32,847 --> 00:23:33,648 I am, I am. 546 00:23:33,681 --> 00:23:34,481 Are you good? 547 00:23:34,515 --> 00:23:35,316 No, I'm falling. 548 00:23:35,349 --> 00:23:36,350 I'm falling. 549 00:23:37,852 --> 00:23:41,022 Item three, holy water, 10 gallons. 550 00:23:41,055 --> 00:23:42,757 I guess we're in the right place for that. 551 00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:43,824 Uh-huh, but just remember... 552 00:23:43,858 --> 00:23:46,060 For the love of goddamn Satan, Rev, I got it. 553 00:23:46,093 --> 00:23:47,161 Jesus Christ. 554 00:23:49,363 --> 00:23:50,631 Sorry, sisters. 555 00:24:17,992 --> 00:24:18,960 Can I help you? 556 00:24:18,993 --> 00:24:20,127 Yeah. 557 00:24:20,161 --> 00:24:21,629 Yeah, hi there. 558 00:24:21,662 --> 00:24:24,665 My friend here and I, we do baptisms 559 00:24:26,367 --> 00:24:28,636 and we kinda ran out of holy water. 560 00:24:28,669 --> 00:24:30,137 How much did you need? 561 00:24:30,171 --> 00:24:31,772 10 gallons would do the trick. 562 00:24:31,806 --> 00:24:32,940 10 563 00:24:32,974 --> 00:24:33,874 gallons? 564 00:24:33,908 --> 00:24:35,209 Yeah, 10 gallons. 565 00:24:35,242 --> 00:24:37,411 Wow, that's a lot of baptisms. 566 00:24:37,445 --> 00:24:38,379 What can I say? 567 00:24:38,412 --> 00:24:40,982 Folks love almost drowning for their fate. 568 00:24:41,015 --> 00:24:41,949 Are you guys hunting vampires? 569 00:24:41,983 --> 00:24:43,951 No, why would you ask that? 570 00:24:43,985 --> 00:24:45,619 Yeah, that's a weird question. 571 00:24:45,653 --> 00:24:49,256 Not really when you think about it. 572 00:24:49,290 --> 00:24:50,858 Guys, relax, okay? 573 00:24:50,891 --> 00:24:52,093 Your secret's safe with me. 574 00:24:52,126 --> 00:24:54,195 I'm actually writing a book about vampires 575 00:24:54,228 --> 00:24:56,364 and was hoping to tag along 576 00:24:56,397 --> 00:24:59,767 with a couple of real vampire slayers, maybe even help out, 577 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,635 you know, for research. 578 00:25:01,669 --> 00:25:03,571 - Yeah, that might work. - Uh, no. 579 00:25:03,604 --> 00:25:05,873 Help from a girl and a writer? 580 00:25:05,906 --> 00:25:07,108 I don't think so. 581 00:25:07,141 --> 00:25:08,843 Well, maybe I should call the authorities then. 582 00:25:08,876 --> 00:25:09,677 Nope. 583 00:25:09,710 --> 00:25:10,911 Welcome co the team. 584 00:25:16,417 --> 00:25:18,486 Great, what are we supposed to do with this? 585 00:25:18,519 --> 00:25:19,320 What do you think? 586 00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:21,555 Spray it on damn vampires, Rev. 587 00:25:21,589 --> 00:25:22,923 Well, it's just so small. 588 00:25:22,957 --> 00:25:24,158 Well, then we'll mix it with water. 589 00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:25,693 But then it'll be diluted. 590 00:25:25,726 --> 00:25:27,561 Can you just let me decompress? 591 00:25:27,595 --> 00:25:29,630 We just got blackmailed by a girl writer. 592 00:25:29,663 --> 00:25:32,767 Yeah, but at least she gave you her number. 593 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,002 ♪ Ah ah ah ♪ 594 00:25:35,036 --> 00:25:37,238 ♪ Oh oh oh ♪ 595 00:25:37,271 --> 00:25:40,141 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪ 596 00:25:40,174 --> 00:25:41,876 ♪ Oh oh oh ♪ 597 00:25:41,909 --> 00:25:44,211 ♪ Ah ah ah ♪ 598 00:25:44,245 --> 00:25:46,347 ♪ Oh oh oh ♪ 599 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:51,385 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 600 00:25:53,587 --> 00:25:54,722 ♪ Yeah ♪ 601 00:25:58,527 --> 00:25:59,360 Okay. 602 00:26:01,996 --> 00:26:02,797 Strip. 603 00:26:02,830 --> 00:26:03,697 What? 604 00:26:03,731 --> 00:26:04,533 Is he kidding? 605 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:05,833 I don't kid about wires. 606 00:26:05,866 --> 00:26:06,667 Do it! 607 00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:07,501 This is ridiculous. 608 00:26:07,536 --> 00:26:09,070 Who would we even wear a wire for? 609 00:26:09,103 --> 00:26:10,071 Yeah, that's a really good point. 610 00:26:10,104 --> 00:26:12,640 I will shoot you dead right here on this road. 611 00:26:12,673 --> 00:26:13,508 Do it! 612 00:26:22,216 --> 00:26:24,718 He's got a lot more clothes. 613 00:26:26,454 --> 00:26:28,456 All the way, let's go. 614 00:26:31,659 --> 00:26:32,993 Now bend over and cough. 615 00:26:33,027 --> 00:26:34,462 No, come on. 616 00:26:34,495 --> 00:26:35,930 Now, jack offs! 617 00:26:40,334 --> 00:26:43,003 All right, all right, all right. 618 00:26:44,672 --> 00:26:45,507 Okay. 619 00:26:47,174 --> 00:26:48,609 Where's my stuff? 620 00:26:54,715 --> 00:26:55,983 What the hell is this? 621 00:26:56,016 --> 00:26:58,252 It's all they had. 622 00:26:58,285 --> 00:27:00,555 Give me the two by fours. 623 00:27:01,622 --> 00:27:04,492 Just so you know, we tried to get lots of two by fours 624 00:27:04,526 --> 00:27:09,396 but we could only safely carry one on a bike at a time. 625 00:27:09,430 --> 00:27:11,365 And the garlic? 626 00:27:11,398 --> 00:27:14,168 They only had one bag left, organic. 627 00:27:14,201 --> 00:27:18,038 Rev said the GMO ones give you kids with tails. 628 00:27:18,072 --> 00:27:19,840 And deformed limbs. 629 00:27:23,711 --> 00:27:26,581 Tell him about that girl we met at the store. 630 00:27:26,615 --> 00:27:27,781 She's our new teammate. 631 00:27:27,815 --> 00:27:30,151 She's a mystery novelist, and she gave Hawk her number. 632 00:27:30,184 --> 00:27:31,152 No, Rev. 633 00:27:31,185 --> 00:27:32,720 I had the lowest of hopes of you two idiots. 634 00:27:32,753 --> 00:27:34,188 This is pathetic! 635 00:27:37,559 --> 00:27:40,060 Does this mean the mentorship is over? 636 00:27:40,094 --> 00:27:43,097 You wanna know what it means? 637 00:27:43,130 --> 00:27:48,135 It means if you two come anywhere near me. 638 00:27:53,407 --> 00:27:55,409 Give me the clothes. 639 00:27:55,442 --> 00:27:57,512 Give me the clothes, now! 640 00:27:59,046 --> 00:28:00,649 I need help. 641 00:28:00,681 --> 00:28:01,482 I looked at your eye again. 642 00:28:01,516 --> 00:28:02,416 I didn't mean to. 643 00:28:02,449 --> 00:28:05,019 Have fun walking, turd birds. 644 00:28:14,762 --> 00:28:15,597 Wow. 645 00:28:16,830 --> 00:28:19,266 Your parents' backyard was pretty bleak but... 646 00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,100 What? 647 00:28:20,134 --> 00:28:21,302 No, it's fine. 648 00:28:23,672 --> 00:28:25,339 It's pretty bad, Hawk. 649 00:28:25,372 --> 00:28:27,642 Well, I don't blame him for a second. 650 00:28:27,676 --> 00:28:30,844 I mean, my PTSD was raging after my discharge. 651 00:28:30,878 --> 00:28:32,880 Look at these little guys. 652 00:28:32,913 --> 00:28:33,914 Easter bunnies. 653 00:28:33,948 --> 00:28:35,149 Nanny cams. 654 00:28:35,182 --> 00:28:37,552 I used them to film my ex-girlfriend all the time. 655 00:28:37,586 --> 00:28:38,385 She was a nanny? 656 00:28:38,419 --> 00:28:39,820 No, I filmed her having sex. 657 00:28:39,853 --> 00:28:40,921 You made pornos with her? 658 00:28:40,955 --> 00:28:43,457 No, I wasn't in any of them. 659 00:28:43,490 --> 00:28:44,458 Can we change the subject? 660 00:28:44,491 --> 00:28:45,960 You mean, like she changed sexual partners 661 00:28:45,993 --> 00:28:47,761 behind my back all the time? 662 00:28:47,795 --> 00:28:48,829 Maybe I should go. 663 00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:52,266 You haven't even met my arsenal yet. 664 00:28:52,299 --> 00:28:53,568 Hey, arsenal. 665 00:28:55,302 --> 00:28:58,205 Wow, that's a lot of garden tools. 666 00:28:58,239 --> 00:28:59,206 I know. 667 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,475 I can't touch any weapons since my incident. 668 00:29:01,509 --> 00:29:02,943 Well, except for this. 669 00:29:02,977 --> 00:29:04,011 Good enough for the Swiss army... 670 00:29:04,044 --> 00:29:05,012 Good enough for me. 671 00:29:05,045 --> 00:29:06,113 Oh, and this. 672 00:29:07,081 --> 00:29:08,015 What the heck is that? 673 00:29:08,048 --> 00:29:09,283 My secret stake. 674 00:29:09,316 --> 00:29:10,184 I always carry it. 675 00:29:10,217 --> 00:29:11,118 You didn't have it before. 676 00:29:11,151 --> 00:29:12,886 Yes, I did, it was just a secret. 677 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,623 I thought we agreed no hurting or killing, 678 00:29:14,656 --> 00:29:15,724 and that includes staking. 679 00:29:15,756 --> 00:29:18,225 We did, and this is a secret. 680 00:29:18,259 --> 00:29:20,294 Lose it or you'll be on your own. 681 00:29:20,327 --> 00:29:22,429 Or worse, with that guy. 682 00:29:24,932 --> 00:29:26,433 No, you can't claim the ferret 683 00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:29,370 if it doesn't do work for you, mom. 684 00:29:31,238 --> 00:29:32,806 Hey, guys. 685 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,941 Hey, Terry. 686 00:29:35,309 --> 00:29:36,910 Great, so no more vampires. 687 00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:38,946 Oh, no, they're still here. 688 00:29:38,979 --> 00:29:40,214 Give me a break, Hawk. 689 00:29:40,247 --> 00:29:41,282 You know what, Arnold? 690 00:29:41,315 --> 00:29:43,384 Next time I see one, I'll rip its damn head off 691 00:29:43,417 --> 00:29:44,818 and give it to you in a bag. 692 00:29:44,852 --> 00:29:48,322 As long as you're not late, that's cool. 693 00:29:48,355 --> 00:29:49,591 Hey, hold it right there! 694 00:29:49,624 --> 00:29:50,924 See, I told you! 695 00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:55,062 Oh, no, wait, that's just Rev, the groundskeeper. 696 00:29:55,095 --> 00:29:56,665 You shouldn't sneak around like that. 697 00:29:56,698 --> 00:29:59,199 Yeah, I was just trying to find the light switch. 698 00:29:59,233 --> 00:30:01,503 Is that a cape you're wearing? 699 00:30:01,536 --> 00:30:02,604 That is correct. 700 00:30:02,637 --> 00:30:04,138 Go home to your wives, Arnold. 701 00:30:04,171 --> 00:30:05,005 Wife! 702 00:30:05,039 --> 00:30:05,806 Whatever. 703 00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:06,907 I got this. 704 00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:10,110 All right, just stay out of trouble. 705 00:30:14,014 --> 00:30:15,684 I thought you said to come suited up. 706 00:30:15,717 --> 00:30:17,818 Yeah, not in the uniform of our enemy. 707 00:30:17,851 --> 00:30:19,420 Capes are also worn by superheroes. 708 00:30:19,453 --> 00:30:21,221 Take it off! 709 00:30:21,255 --> 00:30:23,857 What the hell is this? 710 00:30:23,891 --> 00:30:24,793 Anchor. 711 00:30:24,825 --> 00:30:25,993 I thought we could use it for grappling. 712 00:30:26,026 --> 00:30:29,664 I can't wait to grapple the hell out of a vampire. 713 00:30:29,698 --> 00:30:31,165 No, no, no. 714 00:30:31,198 --> 00:30:32,833 Grappling as in climbing. 715 00:30:32,866 --> 00:30:34,803 But can I still grapple a vampire head with it? 716 00:30:34,835 --> 00:30:36,136 No. 717 00:30:36,170 --> 00:30:37,505 Fine, keep it. 718 00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:39,306 Hey, Rev. 719 00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:40,407 Yeah, Hawk? 720 00:30:40,441 --> 00:30:43,177 You know what time it is? 721 00:30:43,210 --> 00:30:44,144 7:30-ish? 722 00:30:45,846 --> 00:30:47,081 There's no sun in here. 723 00:30:47,114 --> 00:30:47,981 Negative. 724 00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:49,350 It's beast time. 725 00:30:50,217 --> 00:30:52,286 You know, like go time. 726 00:30:52,319 --> 00:30:54,254 Like time to pay the piper. 727 00:30:54,288 --> 00:30:56,524 Like I'm too old for this shit. 728 00:30:56,558 --> 00:30:58,760 Like you're gonna need a bigger boat. 729 00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,894 Like always bet on black. 730 00:31:00,928 --> 00:31:03,698 Like after fucking your wife, I'll have two more. 731 00:31:03,732 --> 00:31:07,034 Like you're the disease and I'm the cure! 732 00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:10,037 Like I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it! 733 00:31:10,070 --> 00:31:11,472 Like I'll be back. 734 00:31:11,506 --> 00:31:14,341 Like go ahead, make my day, punk! 735 00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:16,276 Like here's Johnny! 736 00:31:16,310 --> 00:31:17,144 Huh? 737 00:31:17,177 --> 00:31:19,313 Like yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. 738 00:31:19,346 --> 00:31:20,682 Wax on, wax off. 739 00:31:21,816 --> 00:31:23,518 I feel the need for speed. 740 00:31:23,551 --> 00:31:24,719 Adrian! 741 00:31:24,753 --> 00:31:26,253 I see dead people. 742 00:31:27,454 --> 00:31:29,758 No one puts Baby in the corner! 743 00:31:29,791 --> 00:31:31,024 Like Free Willy. 744 00:31:31,058 --> 00:31:32,926 - No, never mind. - I like that one. 745 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:33,994 - I like that one. - No. 746 00:31:34,027 --> 00:31:35,730 I can't believe you don't know any of those. 747 00:31:35,764 --> 00:31:36,564 Any of what? 748 00:31:36,598 --> 00:31:37,398 Any of those lines. 749 00:31:37,431 --> 00:31:38,633 You never seen a movie? 750 00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:40,668 Those are from movies? 751 00:31:44,773 --> 00:31:45,874 Oh, my God. 752 00:31:46,841 --> 00:31:49,711 ♪ Bang bang, big finger on the trigger ♪ 753 00:31:49,744 --> 00:31:51,378 ♪ Hey, it's getting bigger ♪ 754 00:31:51,412 --> 00:31:53,782 ♪ You're looking manic, yeah ♪ 755 00:31:53,815 --> 00:31:56,851 ♪ Bang bang, baby point me to the fun ♪ 756 00:31:56,885 --> 00:31:58,586 ♪ Shoot me like a gun ♪ 757 00:31:58,620 --> 00:32:00,254 ♪ Like a love automatic ♪ 758 00:32:00,287 --> 00:32:01,188 ♪ Bang bang ♪ 759 00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:04,759 ♪ Run run for cover, I've got a gun ♪ 760 00:32:04,793 --> 00:32:07,862 ♪ And I'm shooting love, don't panic ♪ 761 00:32:07,896 --> 00:32:08,897 ♪ Bang bang ♪ 762 00:32:08,929 --> 00:32:11,398 ♪ It's now or never, I've got your number ♪ 763 00:32:11,432 --> 00:32:13,133 Okay, we need a rope. 764 00:32:13,167 --> 00:32:14,134 I got the anchor. 765 00:32:14,168 --> 00:32:15,570 I thought you said you were gonna bring a rope. 766 00:32:15,603 --> 00:32:16,838 You told me to bring the anchor. 767 00:32:16,871 --> 00:32:17,971 Goddammit, Rev. 768 00:32:18,005 --> 00:32:19,707 Now one of us has to go back. 769 00:32:19,741 --> 00:32:21,308 It's not good to split up. 770 00:32:21,341 --> 00:32:24,411 Why don't I set up the nanny cams and you can practice 771 00:32:24,445 --> 00:32:26,380 your army special ops moves on the way back? 772 00:32:26,413 --> 00:32:27,214 You know what? 773 00:32:27,247 --> 00:32:28,382 I got a better idea. 774 00:32:28,415 --> 00:32:31,151 Why don't I go and practice my army special ops moves 775 00:32:31,185 --> 00:32:33,888 and you set up those nanny cams. 776 00:32:33,922 --> 00:32:34,889 Well, I just said that. 777 00:32:34,923 --> 00:32:36,323 No, you didn't. 778 00:32:42,664 --> 00:32:44,566 Six seconds and counting, cheetah one-nine. 779 00:32:44,599 --> 00:32:45,733 Any developments, over? 780 00:32:45,767 --> 00:32:47,367 No, all's well, honey badger. 781 00:32:47,401 --> 00:32:48,202 Copy that. 782 00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:49,336 Over and out. 783 00:32:52,740 --> 00:32:55,309 Honey badger, of all the nanny cams in the world, 784 00:32:55,342 --> 00:32:56,945 why Easter bunnies? 785 00:32:56,977 --> 00:32:58,378 Two reasons, cheetah one-nine. 786 00:32:58,412 --> 00:33:00,548 One, it's the only mainstream religious holiday 787 00:33:00,582 --> 00:33:01,783 that celebrates zombies. 788 00:33:01,816 --> 00:33:04,819 And two, my ex-girlfriend had an Easter fetish. 789 00:33:04,853 --> 00:33:07,589 If you only knew where those things have been, over. 790 00:33:07,622 --> 00:33:09,891 That is disgusting, over. 791 00:33:12,727 --> 00:33:15,262 Okay, vampire or werewolf? 792 00:33:15,295 --> 00:33:16,263 Werewolf. 793 00:33:16,296 --> 00:33:18,098 But vampires live forever. 794 00:33:18,131 --> 00:33:20,000 Yeah, but werewolves have more sex. 795 00:33:20,033 --> 00:33:22,035 Okay, mermaid or siren? 796 00:33:22,069 --> 00:33:24,037 Siren, male siren, of course. 797 00:33:24,071 --> 00:33:25,038 Come on. 798 00:33:25,072 --> 00:33:26,741 Merpeople are amphibious. 799 00:33:26,774 --> 00:33:30,110 Yeah, but male sirens have shitloads of sex 800 00:33:30,143 --> 00:33:31,913 and all they have to do is sing for it. 801 00:33:31,946 --> 00:33:33,815 Okay, Big Foot or Yeti? 802 00:33:33,848 --> 00:33:35,182 Big Foot, obviously. 803 00:33:35,215 --> 00:33:37,852 Ah, but Yetis could live in the Arctic cold 804 00:33:37,886 --> 00:33:39,019 and not freeze to death. 805 00:33:39,052 --> 00:33:41,789 Yeah, but Big Foots live in nice, warm forests 806 00:33:41,823 --> 00:33:43,992 where they have buttloads of sex, over. 807 00:33:44,024 --> 00:33:46,093 You really need a girlfriend, Hawk. 808 00:33:46,126 --> 00:33:48,428 That's a 10-4, little buddy. 809 00:33:48,462 --> 00:33:50,297 Holy shit, we've got company. 810 00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:51,131 Mayday, mayday! 811 00:33:51,164 --> 00:33:52,000 Abort, abort! 812 00:33:52,032 --> 00:33:52,834 What's going on down there? 813 00:33:52,867 --> 00:33:53,668 Mayday, mayday! 814 00:33:53,701 --> 00:33:54,602 Honey badger, come in. 815 00:33:54,636 --> 00:33:55,435 Abort the mission! 816 00:33:55,469 --> 00:33:56,270 Honey badger! 817 00:33:56,303 --> 00:33:59,072 Abort the mission, over! 818 00:34:25,399 --> 00:34:28,402 Honey badger, are you alive, over? 819 00:34:29,504 --> 00:34:31,338 Honey badger, come in. 820 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,578 I'm in the dumpster below, cheetah one-nine, over. 821 00:34:36,611 --> 00:34:38,412 Honey badger, I thought they got you, over. 822 00:34:38,445 --> 00:34:39,446 I kinda wish they had. 823 00:34:39,479 --> 00:34:42,016 It smells like 10 dead hookers in here, over. 824 00:34:42,050 --> 00:34:43,618 Better than the Easter bunnies, over. 825 00:34:43,651 --> 00:34:45,053 10-4, cheetah one-nine. 826 00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:46,320 Is the coast clear, over? 827 00:34:46,353 --> 00:34:47,454 Hang tight. 828 00:34:50,625 --> 00:34:52,994 Honey badger, the coast is most definitely not clear. 829 00:34:53,027 --> 00:34:54,662 You've got a bogey flying in over. 830 00:34:54,696 --> 00:34:55,830 Come again, over. 831 00:34:55,863 --> 00:34:57,765 Honey badger, you've got a vamp on you in five. 832 00:34:57,799 --> 00:34:58,633 Oh, crap. 833 00:34:58,666 --> 00:35:00,200 Should I get him with a garden trowel? 834 00:35:00,233 --> 00:35:01,603 No, camouflage yourself. 835 00:35:01,636 --> 00:35:02,604 Four. 836 00:35:02,637 --> 00:35:03,905 Blast him with the holy water? 837 00:35:03,938 --> 00:35:05,472 You're running out of time, buddy. 838 00:35:05,506 --> 00:35:06,440 Three. 839 00:35:06,473 --> 00:35:07,709 Should I hit him with my secret stake? 840 00:35:07,742 --> 00:35:09,409 I thought we agreed no secret stake. 841 00:35:09,443 --> 00:35:10,243 Two. 842 00:35:10,277 --> 00:35:11,512 We did, but it's a secret. 843 00:35:11,546 --> 00:35:12,981 Hey, one! 844 00:35:23,591 --> 00:35:25,927 Hey, look at this. 845 00:35:32,767 --> 00:35:37,605 Somebody left a perfectly good hand bulb planting tool. 846 00:35:37,639 --> 00:35:39,741 Well, that's great. 847 00:35:39,774 --> 00:35:41,141 We can finally plant all those tulip bulbs 848 00:35:41,174 --> 00:35:43,611 you got in Holland, Forneus. 849 00:35:43,645 --> 00:35:44,579 Give me a hand with this one. 850 00:35:44,612 --> 00:35:45,647 It's gonna take all of us. 851 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,415 It's all those damn baby heads. 852 00:36:05,432 --> 00:36:07,300 How's it looking out there, cheetah one-nine. 853 00:36:07,334 --> 00:36:08,235 Hold position. 854 00:36:08,268 --> 00:36:09,771 They're almost clear. 855 00:36:09,804 --> 00:36:10,805 Copy that. 856 00:36:12,740 --> 00:36:14,809 What'd throw at me, over? 857 00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:22,016 Oh, dear God! 858 00:36:23,316 --> 00:36:24,118 Oh, my God! 859 00:36:24,152 --> 00:36:25,787 Somebody get me outta here! 860 00:36:25,820 --> 00:36:26,621 Help! 861 00:36:26,654 --> 00:36:27,454 Help! 862 00:36:28,556 --> 00:36:30,457 I can't believe that son of a bitch vampire 863 00:36:30,490 --> 00:36:32,459 stole my mom's hand bulb planter. 864 00:36:32,492 --> 00:36:34,562 She's gonna be so pissed. 865 00:36:35,462 --> 00:36:37,765 Hey, good morning, fellas. 866 00:36:37,799 --> 00:36:38,700 You're up early. 867 00:36:38,733 --> 00:36:40,134 As are you, deputy. 868 00:36:40,168 --> 00:36:42,070 Out running lives already, I see. 869 00:36:42,103 --> 00:36:43,370 Just doing my job. 870 00:36:43,403 --> 00:36:44,706 As are we. 871 00:36:44,739 --> 00:36:47,374 Hmm, so your job is, what, 872 00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:50,511 ninja warrior and Karate Kid lookalike? 873 00:36:50,545 --> 00:36:51,913 Oh, no. 874 00:36:51,946 --> 00:36:55,382 Yeah, no, we're, it was dress up day at work. 875 00:36:55,415 --> 00:36:56,951 Yeah, casual Friday. 876 00:36:56,984 --> 00:36:59,419 So you steal all this stuff? 877 00:36:59,453 --> 00:37:00,855 Oh, these old things? 878 00:37:00,888 --> 00:37:03,958 No, we had a charity drive at work. 879 00:37:03,991 --> 00:37:05,827 So you stole all this from the charity drive. 880 00:37:05,860 --> 00:37:06,761 No, of course not. 881 00:37:06,794 --> 00:37:07,829 That would be... 882 00:37:07,862 --> 00:37:08,730 Uncharitable? 883 00:37:08,763 --> 00:37:09,731 Exactly. 884 00:37:09,764 --> 00:37:13,534 No, we're transporting them to a, a hospital. 885 00:37:14,702 --> 00:37:15,503 A hospital. 886 00:37:15,536 --> 00:37:17,772 Which one, specifically? 887 00:37:17,805 --> 00:37:20,208 Oh, you know, it's the one down, 888 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:21,374 you know the one. 889 00:37:21,408 --> 00:37:22,577 No, I don't. 890 00:37:22,610 --> 00:37:25,046 It's the one for kids with, 891 00:37:27,715 --> 00:37:28,716 with cancer. 892 00:37:30,752 --> 00:37:33,888 There's a hospital just for kids with cancer. 893 00:37:33,921 --> 00:37:36,190 Oh, yeah, and it's packed to the gills with them. 894 00:37:36,224 --> 00:37:39,093 And they're all dying, all the kids, all of them, 895 00:37:39,127 --> 00:37:41,428 just dropping like disease-ridden flies 896 00:37:41,461 --> 00:37:43,396 from all the festering. 897 00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:44,232 The cancer. 898 00:37:44,264 --> 00:37:46,601 Yeah, it's a real tragedy. 899 00:37:50,705 --> 00:37:51,539 I, uh, 900 00:37:53,975 --> 00:37:54,776 it's really nice of you guys. 901 00:37:54,809 --> 00:37:56,978 I didn't, it's unexpected. 902 00:37:57,812 --> 00:38:00,515 What about these gardening tools? 903 00:38:00,548 --> 00:38:03,017 Oh, gardening for the kids with all the festering... 904 00:38:03,050 --> 00:38:03,818 The cancer. 905 00:38:03,851 --> 00:38:05,253 That's right. 906 00:38:05,285 --> 00:38:06,419 Gardening for cancer. 907 00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:07,588 Yeah. 908 00:38:07,622 --> 00:38:10,457 You guys, you keep up all the good work, huh. 909 00:38:10,490 --> 00:38:11,826 You too, deputy. 910 00:38:11,859 --> 00:38:12,894 I will. 911 00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:14,595 You take care now. 912 00:38:15,530 --> 00:38:16,329 I'm sorry. 913 00:38:16,363 --> 00:38:17,397 It was either cancer or AIDS. 914 00:38:17,430 --> 00:38:20,268 I figured cancer was more believable. 915 00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:25,305 ♪ And girls will come in festive clothes ♪ 916 00:38:26,774 --> 00:38:30,178 ♪ And the boys will wait ♪ 917 00:38:32,046 --> 00:38:34,414 It's no big deal. 918 00:38:37,985 --> 00:38:39,220 Hello? 919 00:38:40,688 --> 00:38:41,522 Shit! 920 00:38:48,629 --> 00:38:51,699 Don't fucking hang up on me! 921 00:38:52,767 --> 00:38:53,668 Oh, crap! 922 00:38:56,037 --> 00:38:56,838 Hello? 923 00:38:56,871 --> 00:38:57,672 You know what, Hawk? 924 00:38:57,705 --> 00:38:58,506 Fuck you! 925 00:38:58,539 --> 00:38:59,774 Oh, hey! 926 00:38:59,807 --> 00:39:01,441 No, no, no, that was not me 927 00:39:01,474 --> 00:39:03,711 who just called and hung up on you twice. 928 00:39:03,744 --> 00:39:05,613 Yeah, yeah, that is weird. 929 00:39:05,646 --> 00:39:07,347 Yeah, that is my number. 930 00:39:07,380 --> 00:39:08,182 I don't know. 931 00:39:08,216 --> 00:39:11,152 Maybe a serial killer or something? 932 00:39:12,587 --> 00:39:13,420 Yeah, I'm sorry. 933 00:39:13,453 --> 00:39:15,523 That is a weird thing to say to a girl. 934 00:39:15,556 --> 00:39:17,725 Yeah, yeah, that would be great. 935 00:39:17,758 --> 00:39:18,926 Well, let me give you directions. 936 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:19,894 It's kinda hard to find. 937 00:39:19,927 --> 00:39:21,562 ♪ We can live forever, girl ♪ 938 00:39:21,596 --> 00:39:26,567 ♪ We can stay together until the morning comes tonight ♪ 939 00:39:26,868 --> 00:39:28,401 Hey, it's out of control for sure, dude. 940 00:39:28,435 --> 00:39:30,838 We gotta shred it up San Muerte style, right? 941 00:39:30,872 --> 00:39:31,973 Okay, man. 942 00:39:32,006 --> 00:39:32,807 All right. 943 00:39:37,845 --> 00:39:40,982 Hey, I know you barneys are up to something. 944 00:39:41,015 --> 00:39:42,683 It's not funny, man! 945 00:39:44,185 --> 00:39:47,855 Barneys, man. 946 00:39:50,091 --> 00:39:53,194 Dude, I swear, I'm gonna tell Tegan and Brody, man. 947 00:39:53,227 --> 00:39:54,161 And when they find out, 948 00:39:54,195 --> 00:39:57,531 they're gonna Tegan and Brody you, dude. 949 00:40:02,737 --> 00:40:04,071 Look, look, man. 950 00:40:04,939 --> 00:40:06,340 You're not Santa Muerte. 951 00:40:06,374 --> 00:40:07,440 I don't know where you think you are, 952 00:40:07,474 --> 00:40:08,676 but this ain't your break! 953 00:40:08,709 --> 00:40:11,379 Go back to your own break, kook. 954 00:40:13,948 --> 00:40:15,750 That's what I thought. 955 00:40:20,588 --> 00:40:21,589 God dang it! 956 00:40:34,568 --> 00:40:37,470 Wow, I've never been booty called to a tent before. 957 00:40:37,505 --> 00:40:39,573 You're welcome, little lady. 958 00:40:39,607 --> 00:40:41,275 You want some cowboy coffee? 959 00:40:41,309 --> 00:40:42,109 Hey, Terry. 960 00:40:42,143 --> 00:40:43,110 Hey, Hawk. 961 00:40:45,846 --> 00:40:48,082 So this is all temporary, right? 962 00:40:48,115 --> 00:40:49,283 Oh, yeah. 963 00:40:49,317 --> 00:40:51,852 I mean, I stayed with my folks right after my discharge. 964 00:40:51,886 --> 00:40:53,387 I had a little PTSD. 965 00:40:53,421 --> 00:40:54,889 And we didn't get along so well, 966 00:40:54,922 --> 00:40:57,024 but I'm looking for a place. 967 00:40:57,058 --> 00:40:59,160 Where were you stationed? 968 00:40:59,193 --> 00:41:00,828 Mostly Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. 969 00:41:00,861 --> 00:41:01,996 Where the prison is, right? 970 00:41:02,029 --> 00:41:03,264 Yeah, I was in a bad, bad place, 971 00:41:03,297 --> 00:41:05,099 but, you know, I'm all better now. 972 00:41:05,132 --> 00:41:06,267 Wait, you were in the prison? 973 00:41:06,300 --> 00:41:07,835 Yeah, the army doesn't like you driving stakes 974 00:41:07,868 --> 00:41:10,204 through its privates, and by that, I mean Private Dirkman. 975 00:41:10,237 --> 00:41:12,606 He was a vampire, by the way. 976 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:13,607 Are you taking notes? 977 00:41:13,641 --> 00:41:14,575 I am a writer. 978 00:41:14,608 --> 00:41:15,743 That's what we do. 979 00:41:15,776 --> 00:41:18,478 Am I like the star of your book? 980 00:41:18,512 --> 00:41:19,680 Hard to say. 981 00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:21,916 Maybe. 982 00:41:23,250 --> 00:41:24,418 You think she's a double agent? 983 00:41:24,452 --> 00:41:27,188 I think she was definitely pumping me for information. 984 00:41:27,221 --> 00:41:28,589 I think you should be so lucky. 985 00:41:28,622 --> 00:41:30,791 I think she was the lucky one in that scenario. 986 00:41:30,825 --> 00:41:33,828 I pumped her right back, not for information though. 987 00:41:33,861 --> 00:41:34,962 Thanks for that, Hawk. 988 00:41:34,996 --> 00:41:36,197 I had sex with her, Rev. 989 00:41:36,230 --> 00:41:37,264 Yeah, I got it. 990 00:41:37,298 --> 00:41:38,733 Okay, stop, too far. 991 00:41:38,766 --> 00:41:40,434 Let's back it up. 992 00:41:40,468 --> 00:41:41,402 Back it up. 993 00:41:41,435 --> 00:41:42,903 Let's go. 994 00:41:42,937 --> 00:41:44,105 I had sex with her, Rev. 995 00:41:44,138 --> 00:41:45,439 Yeah, I got it. 996 00:41:45,473 --> 00:41:47,008 In her vagina hole. 997 00:41:47,041 --> 00:41:48,809 I don't wanna know about it. 998 00:41:48,843 --> 00:41:49,910 Okay, this is it. 999 00:41:49,944 --> 00:41:50,745 I got it. 1000 00:41:50,778 --> 00:41:51,612 Foot it. 1001 00:41:51,645 --> 00:41:52,980 I know how to work a ladder, Hawk. 1002 00:41:53,014 --> 00:41:53,848 Okay. 1003 00:41:56,083 --> 00:41:56,884 After you, sir. 1004 00:41:56,917 --> 00:41:57,718 Oh, no, no, no. 1005 00:41:57,752 --> 00:41:58,552 You first. 1006 00:41:58,586 --> 00:41:59,620 I would rather you went. 1007 00:41:59,653 --> 00:42:00,988 My mother taught me to be a gentleman. 1008 00:42:01,022 --> 00:42:01,889 Just go, please. 1009 00:42:01,922 --> 00:42:02,723 - No. - Just go! 1010 00:42:02,757 --> 00:42:03,557 No! 1011 00:42:03,591 --> 00:42:04,392 - Go! - No! 1012 00:42:04,425 --> 00:42:05,226 - Go! - No! 1013 00:42:05,259 --> 00:42:06,093 Yes! 1014 00:42:09,363 --> 00:42:10,431 Move it. 1015 00:42:10,464 --> 00:42:12,600 We've got nanny cams to place and vampires to catch. 1016 00:42:12,633 --> 00:42:13,434 I mean, to stake. 1017 00:42:13,467 --> 00:42:14,502 I mean, no, to catch. 1018 00:42:14,535 --> 00:42:16,303 One, step into position. 1019 00:42:16,337 --> 00:42:18,139 Two, scan the perimeter. 1020 00:42:18,172 --> 00:42:20,007 Three, pick an enemy. 1021 00:42:20,041 --> 00:42:22,109 Four, strike up conversation. 1022 00:42:22,143 --> 00:42:24,278 Five, ready your pitchfork. 1023 00:42:24,311 --> 00:42:25,112 And six... 1024 00:42:25,146 --> 00:42:26,447 Wait, I have a question. 1025 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,350 Number four, the conversation, can you explain that a bit? 1026 00:42:29,383 --> 00:42:31,285 Yes, you strike up conversation 1027 00:42:31,318 --> 00:42:33,354 so they let down their guard. 1028 00:42:33,387 --> 00:42:35,122 I usually go with something like this. 1029 00:42:35,156 --> 00:42:37,625 Hey, fucking corpse face. 1030 00:42:37,658 --> 00:42:39,960 Yeah, I'm talking to you, blood shitbag. 1031 00:42:39,994 --> 00:42:42,997 I hear you wanna eat nice innocent Americans for dinner. 1032 00:42:43,030 --> 00:42:44,065 Oh, yeah? 1033 00:42:44,098 --> 00:42:47,902 Well, not on my watch, bloodsucking vampire scum! 1034 00:42:47,935 --> 00:42:53,007 Take that, you filthy ass blood sucker! 1035 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,242 New rule, no weapons. 1036 00:42:55,276 --> 00:42:56,444 Vampires, huh? 1037 00:42:56,477 --> 00:42:58,412 Oh, yeah, there are shit tons of 'em. 1038 00:42:58,446 --> 00:42:59,313 What about werewolves? 1039 00:42:59,346 --> 00:43:01,148 Oh, yeah, they're a big problem too, 1040 00:43:01,182 --> 00:43:03,751 just roaming around in packs, eating livestock, 1041 00:43:03,784 --> 00:43:05,052 pissing everywhere. 1042 00:43:05,086 --> 00:43:07,888 Filthy goddamn creatures. 1043 00:43:07,922 --> 00:43:08,989 Yes. 1044 00:43:09,023 --> 00:43:09,924 Absolutely. 1045 00:43:09,957 --> 00:43:10,825 No. 1046 00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:11,659 Yes. 1047 00:43:11,692 --> 00:43:12,593 Maybe? 1048 00:43:12,626 --> 00:43:13,794 Yes. 1049 00:43:13,828 --> 00:43:14,795 No. 1050 00:43:14,829 --> 00:43:16,363 And hell yes. 1051 00:43:16,397 --> 00:43:18,399 Hey, have you ever gotten your chromosomes checked? 1052 00:43:18,432 --> 00:43:21,302 Is that like getting your testicles checked? 1053 00:43:21,335 --> 00:43:22,937 Look, about last night. 1054 00:43:22,970 --> 00:43:24,872 If you tell anyone, it's never gonna happen again. 1055 00:43:24,905 --> 00:43:25,840 I mean, like never. 1056 00:43:25,873 --> 00:43:26,674 Seriously? 1057 00:43:26,707 --> 00:43:27,509 Seriously. 1058 00:43:27,542 --> 00:43:28,342 Like not even Rev? 1059 00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:29,410 Especially not Rev! 1060 00:43:29,443 --> 00:43:32,079 Also, if I get pregnant, I'm not keeping the baby. 1061 00:43:32,113 --> 00:43:33,080 It would be irresponsible 1062 00:43:33,114 --> 00:43:34,648 to bring your spawn into this world. 1063 00:43:34,682 --> 00:43:37,084 Well< I feel like it would be irresponsible not to. 1064 00:43:37,118 --> 00:43:38,085 I mean, who's gonna deal 1065 00:43:38,119 --> 00:43:39,588 with all these supernatural creatures 1066 00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:41,722 dicking around in the world when I'm gone? 1067 00:43:41,755 --> 00:43:43,624 A bunch of baby Hawks, that's who. 1068 00:43:43,657 --> 00:43:47,194 Humanity's survival depends on us. 1069 00:43:47,228 --> 00:43:48,762 Nope, that's not happening. 1070 00:43:48,796 --> 00:43:49,797 Sorry. 1071 00:43:49,830 --> 00:43:50,698 Hey, wait up. 1072 00:43:50,731 --> 00:43:52,433 Nope. 1073 00:44:00,007 --> 00:44:00,808 Question. 1074 00:44:00,841 --> 00:44:02,209 Why are we doing bird calls again? 1075 00:44:02,243 --> 00:44:03,978 Answer, your walkie dies. 1076 00:44:04,011 --> 00:44:08,649 Why can't we just whistle? 1077 00:44:09,783 --> 00:44:12,153 Whistling is most obviously human, Rev. 1078 00:44:12,186 --> 00:44:13,654 Even retards know that. 1079 00:44:13,687 --> 00:44:15,055 That's highly insensitive, Hawk. 1080 00:44:15,089 --> 00:44:17,324 Not if you compare it to getting your ass eaten alive 1081 00:44:17,358 --> 00:44:20,194 by bloodsucking vampires it's not. 1082 00:44:21,428 --> 00:44:22,997 Can we try the scarlet warbler? 1083 00:44:23,030 --> 00:44:24,398 Indeed. 1084 00:44:32,039 --> 00:44:34,375 Are you going to the bathroom? 1085 00:44:36,477 --> 00:44:37,278 What? 1086 00:44:37,311 --> 00:44:38,312 I had to go! 1087 00:44:43,184 --> 00:44:44,985 Are you all done in there? 1088 00:44:45,019 --> 00:44:46,521 Back off, Terry. 1089 00:44:51,125 --> 00:44:52,893 You know, I just, you know, 1090 00:44:52,927 --> 00:44:56,931 I've been going through this transformation. 1091 00:44:56,964 --> 00:45:01,168 It hasn't been all cute and cuddly, as you two know. 1092 00:45:01,202 --> 00:45:04,705 Anyway, I'm really sorry about the hassle. 1093 00:45:05,607 --> 00:45:09,877 And you know, if you two wanna give it a go, 1094 00:45:09,910 --> 00:45:11,580 I'm game for it, so. 1095 00:45:11,613 --> 00:45:15,584 Well, I think I speak for both of us when I saw we're in 1096 00:45:15,617 --> 00:45:17,985 just as long as we don't have to get naked again. 1097 00:45:18,018 --> 00:45:19,654 No, no more nudity. 1098 00:45:19,688 --> 00:45:22,456 I mean, unless you wanna do it. 1099 00:45:22,489 --> 00:45:23,625 Oh, no, no. 1100 00:45:23,658 --> 00:45:24,858 No, no. 1101 00:45:24,892 --> 00:45:29,730 Well, in the spirit of all this newfound reconciliation... 1102 00:45:34,235 --> 00:45:35,035 What is that? 1103 00:45:35,069 --> 00:45:35,869 What is what? 1104 00:45:35,903 --> 00:45:36,705 Huh? 1105 00:45:36,737 --> 00:45:40,241 I can feel my skull. 1106 00:45:40,274 --> 00:45:43,110 The voices in my head, in the sky. 1107 00:45:45,312 --> 00:45:47,381 Bats, they're coming. 1108 00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:48,717 Go in. 1109 00:45:48,749 --> 00:45:50,451 They're everywhere! 1110 00:45:50,484 --> 00:45:51,653 It's the end of the world! 1111 00:45:51,686 --> 00:45:53,120 We're all doomed! 1112 00:45:55,389 --> 00:45:56,323 We're all gonna die! 1113 00:45:56,357 --> 00:45:57,191 Run! 1114 00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:07,101 Wow. 1115 00:46:07,134 --> 00:46:07,968 Whoa. 1116 00:46:11,305 --> 00:46:13,374 ♪ Have you ever met this lady ♪ 1117 00:46:13,407 --> 00:46:14,241 That's the way to do it. 1118 00:46:14,275 --> 00:46:15,876 Come to papa, baby. 1119 00:46:17,411 --> 00:46:18,245 Oh. 1120 00:46:19,113 --> 00:46:19,947 Oh, yeah. 1121 00:46:21,448 --> 00:46:22,349 Oh, uh-huh. 1122 00:46:26,621 --> 00:46:30,090 What, what's happening? 1123 00:46:38,265 --> 00:46:40,635 ♪ Have you ever seen this lady ♪ 1124 00:46:40,669 --> 00:46:41,902 ♪ She likes to dance ♪ 1125 00:46:41,935 --> 00:46:42,836 Oh, there we go. 1126 00:46:42,870 --> 00:46:44,706 Oh, nope, sorry about that. 1127 00:46:44,739 --> 00:46:46,807 It got a little lonely at hobo camp. 1128 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,243 Anyway, orange or grape soda? 1129 00:46:49,276 --> 00:46:50,210 I don't drink that stuff. 1130 00:46:50,244 --> 00:46:51,278 Chicharrones? 1131 00:46:51,312 --> 00:46:52,112 No, I'm a vegan. 1132 00:46:52,146 --> 00:46:52,946 So? 1133 00:46:52,980 --> 00:46:54,415 So I don't eat fried pig skin. 1134 00:46:54,448 --> 00:46:56,483 You vegans are all so angry. 1135 00:46:56,518 --> 00:46:57,851 We just don't eat animals. 1136 00:46:57,885 --> 00:47:00,421 I'd like to make a toast. 1137 00:47:00,454 --> 00:47:04,526 To us, to the mission, and to kicking mucho vampire ass. 1138 00:47:04,559 --> 00:47:07,729 And to not staking, no asphyxiation, 1139 00:47:09,096 --> 00:47:10,297 and not getting arrested. 1140 00:47:10,331 --> 00:47:12,534 To doing nothing fun to vampires. 1141 00:47:17,338 --> 00:47:18,807 Maybe they took the night off. 1142 00:47:18,839 --> 00:47:20,274 They're vampires, Rev. 1143 00:47:20,307 --> 00:47:22,443 They don't take nights off. 1144 00:47:22,476 --> 00:47:23,977 They don't socialize. 1145 00:47:24,011 --> 00:47:27,782 They focus on one thing and only one thing. 1146 00:47:27,816 --> 00:47:28,817 Murder. 1147 00:47:28,849 --> 00:47:30,150 I thought they did this for food. 1148 00:47:30,184 --> 00:47:31,852 Sure, but at the end of every night, 1149 00:47:31,885 --> 00:47:33,454 there's still a bunch of damn murders. 1150 00:47:33,487 --> 00:47:34,556 What about that pig 1151 00:47:34,589 --> 00:47:36,457 that ave its life for your chicharrones? 1152 00:47:36,490 --> 00:47:37,491 Are you really comparing me 1153 00:47:37,525 --> 00:47:39,927 to bloodsucking filthy ass vampires right now? 1154 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:43,063 All I'm saying is maybe they do other things besides... 1155 00:47:43,097 --> 00:47:43,897 Oh, really? 1156 00:47:43,931 --> 00:47:44,766 Like what? 1157 00:47:44,799 --> 00:47:47,067 I don't know, like candle-lit dinners, 1158 00:47:47,101 --> 00:47:49,470 long walks on the beach, going to the library, 1159 00:47:49,504 --> 00:47:52,406 visit an amusement park, skip with their friends, 1160 00:47:52,439 --> 00:47:55,008 play hopscotch, collect turtles, 1161 00:47:55,042 --> 00:47:57,277 watch butterflies in the summer evenings. 1162 00:47:57,311 --> 00:48:02,316 Imagine how many books you could read if you live forever. 1163 00:48:04,519 --> 00:48:06,320 You just know how to ruin things, don't you? 1164 00:48:06,353 --> 00:48:07,221 This is so boring. 1165 00:48:07,254 --> 00:48:08,989 I just wanna stab a vampire. 1166 00:48:09,022 --> 00:48:11,024 I mean, catch a vampire. 1167 00:48:23,337 --> 00:48:24,304 Get off me, Rev. 1168 00:48:24,338 --> 00:48:25,139 Get off! 1169 00:48:25,172 --> 00:48:25,973 Get off me. 1170 00:48:26,006 --> 00:48:26,940 God! 1171 00:48:26,974 --> 00:48:27,842 What time is it? 1172 00:48:27,876 --> 00:48:29,878 I don't know, late. 1173 00:48:29,910 --> 00:48:30,911 I need to get to work. 1174 00:48:30,944 --> 00:48:31,746 Whatever. 1175 00:48:31,780 --> 00:48:33,414 I can't be partners with a quitter. 1176 00:48:33,447 --> 00:48:34,481 I have a job. 1177 00:48:34,516 --> 00:48:35,916 Wait, look! 1178 00:48:35,949 --> 00:48:38,285 Dude, I'm just saying, they all taste different. 1179 00:48:38,318 --> 00:48:39,353 Blood or the girls? 1180 00:48:39,386 --> 00:48:41,088 Come to think of it, both. 1181 00:48:41,121 --> 00:48:42,089 That is disgusting. 1182 00:48:42,122 --> 00:48:43,357 Shit, that's nothing. 1183 00:48:43,390 --> 00:48:44,224 Did I tell you about that time 1184 00:48:44,258 --> 00:48:46,093 I hit the all lady biker gang? 1185 00:48:47,327 --> 00:48:49,029 Oh, my God, this is so great. 1186 00:48:49,062 --> 00:48:50,899 We're gonna hit those three vampire birds 1187 00:48:50,931 --> 00:48:53,835 with one kick ass vampire slaying stone! 1188 00:48:53,868 --> 00:48:55,202 Yeah, except there's two of us. 1189 00:48:55,235 --> 00:48:56,336 Yeah, so? 1190 00:48:56,370 --> 00:48:57,572 So that saying doesn't work? 1191 00:48:57,605 --> 00:48:58,405 Why? 1192 00:48:58,439 --> 00:48:59,574 Because the odds are worse? 1193 00:48:59,607 --> 00:49:00,974 No, the odds are better. 1194 00:49:01,008 --> 00:49:02,476 It's just, you're missing the point. 1195 00:49:02,510 --> 00:49:03,711 Well, I feel like you're looking at it 1196 00:49:03,745 --> 00:49:05,513 with a glass half empty attitude. 1197 00:49:05,547 --> 00:49:07,549 And I think you don't understand either saying. 1198 00:49:07,582 --> 00:49:09,149 Well, I think you're a quitter. 1199 00:49:09,183 --> 00:49:10,217 I ain't quit! 1200 00:49:10,250 --> 00:49:14,121 That's what all quitters tell themselves, Rev. 1201 00:49:32,841 --> 00:49:35,577 All right, I checked online and it's our right as Americans 1202 00:49:35,610 --> 00:49:38,813 to citizen's arrest their filthy vampire asses. 1203 00:49:38,847 --> 00:49:40,648 You got your ID? 1204 00:49:40,682 --> 00:49:41,883 You know what this is? 1205 00:49:41,916 --> 00:49:43,016 A cassette tape. 1206 00:49:43,050 --> 00:49:45,285 Of the worst Christian hard rock band ever recorded. 1207 00:49:45,319 --> 00:49:47,922 It's so bad, even Christians cry when they hear it. 1208 00:49:47,956 --> 00:49:49,223 How do you know it will work on vampires? 1209 00:49:49,256 --> 00:49:50,257 I don't. 1210 00:49:50,290 --> 00:49:52,459 Can I get the smoke bombs? 1211 00:49:53,695 --> 00:49:54,596 You know, I'm sensing 1212 00:49:54,629 --> 00:49:55,797 kind of a quitter vibe from you right now. 1213 00:49:55,830 --> 00:49:58,633 I really need you to quit that shit right now, Rev 1214 00:49:58,666 --> 00:50:00,067 and get pumped up. 1215 00:50:00,100 --> 00:50:00,902 I'm pumped. 1216 00:50:00,935 --> 00:50:01,769 You don't seem very pumped. 1217 00:50:01,803 --> 00:50:02,770 I'm totally pumped. 1218 00:50:02,804 --> 00:50:04,104 I need you really pumped! 1219 00:50:04,137 --> 00:50:05,740 I'm super gosh darn pumped. 1220 00:50:05,773 --> 00:50:07,374 The makeup looks great, by the way. 1221 00:50:07,407 --> 00:50:08,208 Oh, thanks. 1222 00:50:08,242 --> 00:50:10,979 It's not makeup, it's camouflage. 1223 00:50:14,348 --> 00:50:16,851 Whoa, Forneus, take it easy. 1224 00:50:27,962 --> 00:50:30,297 You guys expecting anyone? 1225 00:50:39,439 --> 00:50:41,275 Hey, pizza delivery. 1226 00:50:43,878 --> 00:50:46,313 Did you guys order a pizza? 1227 00:50:50,852 --> 00:50:53,621 Well, somebody ordered a pizza. 1228 00:50:53,655 --> 00:50:55,557 Man, it might have been me. 1229 00:50:55,590 --> 00:50:57,592 I got this new medicine. 1230 00:50:59,126 --> 00:51:00,160 Smells good. 1231 00:51:00,193 --> 00:51:02,564 You mind if I come in? 1232 00:51:02,597 --> 00:51:03,397 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1233 00:51:03,430 --> 00:51:05,332 Come on in, man. 1234 00:51:05,365 --> 00:51:07,200 The more, the merrier. 1235 00:51:18,078 --> 00:51:20,848 So how much do I owe you, my man? 1236 00:51:30,290 --> 00:51:33,795 You must think you're pretty smart, huh, 1237 00:51:33,828 --> 00:51:36,064 just invading my territory. 1238 00:51:39,099 --> 00:51:43,504 No, I mean, there's plenty of gigs to go around. 1239 00:51:43,538 --> 00:51:47,709 Yeah, I mean, this whole area's super happening right now. 1240 00:51:47,742 --> 00:51:49,309 You know don't play dumb with me. 1241 00:51:49,343 --> 00:51:51,579 I know what you're doing, 1242 00:51:51,613 --> 00:51:55,415 and I don't appreciate the competition. 1243 00:51:55,449 --> 00:51:56,416 Competition? 1244 00:51:56,450 --> 00:51:58,720 We all have different sounds, man. 1245 00:51:58,753 --> 00:52:00,420 Yeah, I mean that's what's so great 1246 00:52:00,454 --> 00:52:02,523 about the music business. 1247 00:52:11,198 --> 00:52:15,637 The only business I wanna talk about is vampire business 1248 00:52:15,670 --> 00:52:18,506 and how you're feeding in my territory. 1249 00:52:18,539 --> 00:52:19,707 Oh, God, please, don't kill us. 1250 00:52:19,741 --> 00:52:21,475 Take what you want. 1251 00:52:23,911 --> 00:52:26,981 What kind of shit vampires are you? 1252 00:52:29,282 --> 00:52:31,284 Freeze, fang faces! 1253 00:52:31,318 --> 00:52:34,254 Hands in the air, vampires! 1254 00:52:36,658 --> 00:52:38,158 Jasper? 1255 00:52:38,191 --> 00:52:38,993 What's he doing here? 1256 00:52:39,027 --> 00:52:39,827 Yeah. 1257 00:52:39,861 --> 00:52:41,095 What the hell are you doing here? 1258 00:52:41,129 --> 00:52:42,563 I was just, you know, 1259 00:52:42,597 --> 00:52:44,932 making sure the pool was clean and secure 1260 00:52:44,966 --> 00:52:46,668 before you boys jumped on in. 1261 00:52:46,701 --> 00:52:47,501 Pool? 1262 00:52:47,535 --> 00:52:48,335 What pool? 1263 00:52:48,368 --> 00:52:49,169 There's a pool here? 1264 00:52:49,202 --> 00:52:50,370 It's an analogy. 1265 00:52:50,404 --> 00:52:52,840 I was being a good mentor, you know, testing the waters, 1266 00:52:52,874 --> 00:52:54,241 making sure it's safe. 1267 00:52:54,274 --> 00:52:55,175 He's so nice. 1268 00:52:55,208 --> 00:52:56,911 He just gets nicer every time we meet him. 1269 00:52:56,944 --> 00:52:58,012 Yeah, no problem. 1270 00:52:58,046 --> 00:52:59,847 Anyway, go ahead and do your thing. 1271 00:52:59,881 --> 00:53:01,049 Do America proud, boys. 1272 00:53:01,082 --> 00:53:02,116 We will! 1273 00:53:02,150 --> 00:53:03,051 All right, vampires. 1274 00:53:03,084 --> 00:53:05,086 You're under citizen's arrest! 1275 00:53:05,119 --> 00:53:06,754 Oh, you are getting raped! 1276 00:53:06,788 --> 00:53:07,588 Whoa! 1277 00:53:07,622 --> 00:53:08,556 Easy, man. 1278 00:53:08,589 --> 00:53:10,357 I'm gonna eat your flesh and shit it out, 1279 00:53:10,390 --> 00:53:11,993 and then I'm going to fucking eat it again, 1280 00:53:12,026 --> 00:53:13,027 you motherfuckers! 1281 00:53:13,061 --> 00:53:14,962 I don't think we talked about that at all. 1282 00:53:14,996 --> 00:53:16,396 And then I'm gonna fuck your ear! 1283 00:53:16,430 --> 00:53:17,699 I'm gonna fuck it again! 1284 00:53:17,732 --> 00:53:19,801 And I'm gonna fuck your mother's ear and she's gonna die 1285 00:53:19,834 --> 00:53:20,702 and you're gonna die with her, 1286 00:53:20,735 --> 00:53:22,502 you vampire little pieces of shit! 1287 00:53:22,537 --> 00:53:23,938 I did not agree to any of that. 1288 00:53:23,971 --> 00:53:27,175 And I'm gonna poop on your fucking face, you little fucks. 1289 00:53:27,207 --> 00:53:29,110 You wanna fucking get some of this? 1290 00:53:29,143 --> 00:53:31,679 Oh my gosh, he's gonna kill us! 1291 00:53:31,713 --> 00:53:33,548 He has a weapon. 1292 00:53:33,581 --> 00:53:34,716 Break the door! 1293 00:53:34,749 --> 00:53:36,584 Hawk, break the fucking door! 1294 00:53:41,889 --> 00:53:42,690 What is it? 1295 00:53:42,724 --> 00:53:43,524 Where am I? 1296 00:53:43,558 --> 00:53:44,458 Easy, buddy. 1297 00:53:44,491 --> 00:53:45,225 You just, you just hit your little head. 1298 00:53:45,258 --> 00:53:46,094 What? 1299 00:53:46,127 --> 00:53:47,461 Relax, these guys are on our side. 1300 00:53:47,494 --> 00:53:48,896 But they're vampires. 1301 00:53:48,930 --> 00:53:50,131 Uh, no, no. 1302 00:53:50,164 --> 00:53:51,899 They're just a goth band. 1303 00:53:51,933 --> 00:53:53,801 Crypts and Sorrows of Darkness. 1304 00:53:53,835 --> 00:53:54,869 I came up with the name 1305 00:53:54,902 --> 00:53:56,838 during a vision quest to Romania with Forneus. 1306 00:53:56,871 --> 00:53:58,072 But what about the black eyes, 1307 00:53:58,106 --> 00:54:00,407 the blood, the gimp, and 201? 1308 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,910 Oh, contact lenses, pig blood. 1309 00:54:02,944 --> 00:54:05,713 The gimp is a submissive of this guy here. 1310 00:54:05,747 --> 00:54:07,882 And management neglected to tell us 1311 00:54:07,915 --> 00:54:09,150 they rented it out again. 1312 00:54:09,183 --> 00:54:09,984 Oh. 1313 00:54:10,017 --> 00:54:10,818 It's all legal. 1314 00:54:10,852 --> 00:54:12,019 And avante. 1315 00:54:12,053 --> 00:54:13,453 Oh, and one more thing. 1316 00:54:13,487 --> 00:54:14,287 Yeah? 1317 00:54:14,321 --> 00:54:15,556 Our lone wolf mentor, 1318 00:54:15,590 --> 00:54:17,558 he's a filthy ass vampire! 1319 00:54:17,592 --> 00:54:19,359 Holy farts. 1320 00:54:30,571 --> 00:54:32,372 You think we should wear these on our backs too 1321 00:54:32,405 --> 00:54:33,207 just in case? 1322 00:54:33,241 --> 00:54:34,242 Yeah, it wouldn't hurt. 1323 00:54:34,274 --> 00:54:35,076 Here, let me get that for you. 1324 00:54:35,109 --> 00:54:35,943 No. 1325 00:54:35,977 --> 00:54:37,344 No way you're getting behind me, mister. 1326 00:54:37,377 --> 00:54:39,247 You tried to eat that goth band. 1327 00:54:39,279 --> 00:54:40,681 I just lost it, okay? 1328 00:54:40,715 --> 00:54:41,516 Give me a break. 1329 00:54:41,549 --> 00:54:42,717 Okay. 1330 00:54:42,750 --> 00:54:45,019 If you try anything. 1331 00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:45,987 Dang it, Hawk. 1332 00:54:46,020 --> 00:54:47,822 I thought we agreed, no more secret stake. 1333 00:54:47,855 --> 00:54:48,656 We did. 1334 00:54:48,689 --> 00:54:49,489 But you brought it. 1335 00:54:49,524 --> 00:54:50,792 Nope, it's a secret. 1336 00:54:50,825 --> 00:54:51,659 Yeah, but it's right there. 1337 00:54:51,692 --> 00:54:54,128 No, back to being a secret. 1338 00:55:03,571 --> 00:55:04,872 Fine. 1339 00:55:04,906 --> 00:55:06,073 Hey, guys. 1340 00:55:06,107 --> 00:55:07,875 I think we can catch Jasper in this without killing him. 1341 00:55:07,909 --> 00:55:09,577 What is that, a shiny butterfly net? 1342 00:55:09,610 --> 00:55:12,246 No, it's a vampire trap, actually, 1343 00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,347 made of silver-plated aircraft cable. 1344 00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:15,448 According to legend, 1345 00:55:15,482 --> 00:55:16,918 silver was the only naturally occurring substance 1346 00:55:16,951 --> 00:55:18,653 that could injure a vampire. 1347 00:55:18,686 --> 00:55:20,721 Drop him in this and he's helpless. 1348 00:55:20,755 --> 00:55:25,760 Guys,. 1349 00:55:25,793 --> 00:55:27,460 It's almost sundown. 1350 00:55:28,563 --> 00:55:30,330 What language is that? 1351 00:55:30,363 --> 00:55:31,966 Zulu. 1352 00:55:31,999 --> 00:55:33,868 ♪ Hit it ♪ 1353 00:55:33,901 --> 00:55:35,435 ♪ That's what I'm talking about ♪ 1354 00:55:35,468 --> 00:55:36,504 ♪ Wait ♪ 1355 00:55:36,537 --> 00:55:39,307 ♪ Okay now, from the beginning ♪ 1356 00:55:39,339 --> 00:55:41,509 You ever thought about learning to ride a bike, Rev? 1357 00:55:41,542 --> 00:55:42,442 Yeah, seriously, Rev. 1358 00:55:42,475 --> 00:55:43,911 You're kind of a heavy hippie. 1359 00:55:43,945 --> 00:55:45,345 I'm not a hippie, Hawk. 1360 00:55:45,378 --> 00:55:46,280 Oh, better watch out. 1361 00:55:46,314 --> 00:55:48,149 He's gonna go cannibal again. 1362 00:55:49,584 --> 00:55:51,819 Die, yuppie scum! 1363 00:55:57,325 --> 00:55:59,060 ♪ All you men with suits and ties ♪ 1364 00:55:59,093 --> 00:56:01,128 ♪ Just sitting in the crowd ♪ 1365 00:56:01,162 --> 00:56:03,297 ♪ I hope you're ready for what's coming now ♪ 1366 00:56:03,331 --> 00:56:07,335 ♪ I'm the one to bring you down ♪ 1367 00:56:14,407 --> 00:56:16,310 ♪ There's one where the big boys play ♪ 1368 00:56:16,344 --> 00:56:18,145 ♪ Where the race keeps going like the river ♪ 1369 00:56:18,179 --> 00:56:20,380 ♪ But they all never come ♪ 1370 00:56:20,413 --> 00:56:23,084 Guys, this is Theo, our newest team member, 1371 00:56:23,117 --> 00:56:25,385 aka the fiery fox. 1372 00:56:25,418 --> 00:56:26,821 Did you just give me a code name? 1373 00:56:26,854 --> 00:56:27,822 I did. 1374 00:56:27,855 --> 00:56:28,789 We know her well. 1375 00:56:28,823 --> 00:56:29,857 Foxy indeed. 1376 00:56:29,891 --> 00:56:31,826 Not to mention fiery. 1377 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,762 Wait, you guys know each other? 1378 00:56:34,795 --> 00:56:39,432 Yeah, it was like a, kinda polyamorous thing. 1379 00:56:39,466 --> 00:56:43,004 I told you I went to a liberal arts college. 1380 00:56:43,037 --> 00:56:46,774 ♪ And when I'm good, I'm really good, boy ♪ 1381 00:56:46,807 --> 00:56:50,878 ♪ When I'm bad, I'm better ♪ 1382 00:56:50,912 --> 00:56:54,582 ♪ And when I'm good, I'm really good, girl ♪ 1383 00:56:54,615 --> 00:56:58,386 ♪ When I'm bad, I'm better ♪ 1384 00:56:58,418 --> 00:57:02,323 ♪ And when I'm good, I'm really good, boy ♪ 1385 00:57:02,356 --> 00:57:06,060 ♪ When I'm bad, I'm better ♪ 1386 00:57:06,093 --> 00:57:11,032 ♪ And when I'm good, I'm really good, girl ♪ 1387 00:57:12,066 --> 00:57:15,468 I'm pretty sure this is Jasper's mom's house. 1388 00:57:15,502 --> 00:57:17,071 What do we do if he answers the door? 1389 00:57:17,104 --> 00:57:19,941 Well, normally, I'd say rip his goddamn vampire head off, 1390 00:57:19,974 --> 00:57:22,576 but that'd be against our rules of engagement, wouldn't it? 1391 00:57:22,610 --> 00:57:24,612 You guys have rules of engagement? 1392 00:57:24,645 --> 00:57:27,415 Rev wouldn't join my mission till I agreed to 'em all. 1393 00:57:27,447 --> 00:57:28,481 It's our mission. 1394 00:57:28,516 --> 00:57:30,318 And I just thought it'd be good not to hurt or kill 1395 00:57:30,351 --> 00:57:32,386 and then get help and not get arrested. 1396 00:57:32,420 --> 00:57:34,388 That sounds pretty logical to me. 1397 00:57:34,422 --> 00:57:37,490 You two are perfect for each other. 1398 00:57:40,227 --> 00:57:41,329 All right, army special ops 1399 00:57:41,362 --> 00:57:43,364 trained me to deal with delicate matters. 1400 00:57:43,397 --> 00:57:46,233 I will do the talking, okay? 1401 00:57:46,267 --> 00:57:47,068 Can I help you? 1402 00:57:47,101 --> 00:57:47,902 That depends. 1403 00:57:47,935 --> 00:57:49,502 Where the hell is your son? 1404 00:57:49,537 --> 00:57:51,639 Sorry, what is this in regards to? 1405 00:57:51,672 --> 00:57:53,140 What's the goddamn difference, lady? 1406 00:57:53,174 --> 00:57:56,711 Is this filthy bloodsucking vampire ass here or what? 1407 00:57:56,744 --> 00:57:58,312 We need to ask him some questions. 1408 00:57:58,346 --> 00:57:59,213 Excuse me. 1409 00:57:59,246 --> 00:58:00,715 No, excuse him, ma'am. 1410 00:58:00,748 --> 00:58:03,117 Besides being extremely rude, what he forgot to mention 1411 00:58:03,150 --> 00:58:04,685 is that we work with Jasper. 1412 00:58:04,719 --> 00:58:06,120 Yeah, we're his coworkers. 1413 00:58:06,153 --> 00:58:07,321 His work friends. 1414 00:58:07,355 --> 00:58:10,224 I'm so pleased to finally meet some of you. 1415 00:58:10,257 --> 00:58:11,592 He doesn't have a lot of friends. 1416 00:58:11,625 --> 00:58:13,627 Oh, that's a big fucking surprise. 1417 00:58:13,661 --> 00:58:14,795 Just ignore him, ma'am. 1418 00:58:14,829 --> 00:58:16,130 We all do. 1419 00:58:16,163 --> 00:58:18,065 Well, I haven't seen him since last night. 1420 00:58:18,099 --> 00:58:19,300 He left saying 1421 00:58:19,333 --> 00:58:22,870 that he was going to assess the competition or something. 1422 00:58:22,903 --> 00:58:24,105 But if there isn't anything else, 1423 00:58:24,138 --> 00:58:26,007 I have a casserole in the oven. 1424 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,110 No, ma'am, I'm real sorry I was so short earlier. 1425 00:58:29,143 --> 00:58:32,079 Jasper borrowed this DVD I rented a while back. 1426 00:58:32,113 --> 00:58:34,215 You can still do that, rent DVDs? 1427 00:58:34,248 --> 00:58:36,083 Yeah, of course you can still do that. 1428 00:58:36,117 --> 00:58:37,752 They also charge hella late fees. 1429 00:58:37,785 --> 00:58:39,520 So can we look for it in his room or... 1430 00:58:39,553 --> 00:58:40,654 Which one was it again? 1431 00:58:40,688 --> 00:58:41,722 From Dusk till Dawn. 1432 00:58:41,756 --> 00:58:43,657 Oh, that vampire movie 1433 00:58:43,691 --> 00:58:46,427 with that handsome doctor fella from TV. 1434 00:58:46,460 --> 00:58:49,196 Yeah, it's his favorite, and the director trying to act. 1435 00:58:49,230 --> 00:58:50,031 Yeah. 1436 00:58:50,064 --> 00:58:50,965 Well, I'd check the garage. 1437 00:58:50,998 --> 00:58:52,700 It's where he's been sleeping most days. 1438 00:58:52,733 --> 00:58:54,935 He's been complaining about migraines, 1439 00:58:54,969 --> 00:58:57,038 can't be in the light. 1440 00:58:57,071 --> 00:59:00,107 I don't understand what's going on. 1441 00:59:00,141 --> 00:59:04,145 He was also the Batman with the nipples. 1442 00:59:09,383 --> 00:59:12,019 Geez, talk about frightening. 1443 00:59:12,053 --> 00:59:15,423 I bet he's got a whole coffin of human heads in here. 1444 00:59:15,456 --> 00:59:17,024 Don't they sleep in coffins. 1445 00:59:17,058 --> 00:59:18,926 Who's to say they don't snack in them too? 1446 00:59:18,959 --> 00:59:20,261 I would. 1447 00:59:20,294 --> 00:59:22,229 Gross, you'd get bugs. 1448 00:59:22,263 --> 00:59:23,532 He's a vampire, Rev. 1449 00:59:23,564 --> 00:59:27,401 They don't give two shits about bugs. 1450 00:59:27,435 --> 00:59:28,803 How'd you know about the DVD? 1451 00:59:28,836 --> 00:59:31,005 We were bunkmates in cell block nine. 1452 00:59:31,038 --> 00:59:33,808 It was either watch his favorite DVD or... 1453 00:59:33,841 --> 00:59:35,109 No, I don't wanna know. 1454 00:59:35,142 --> 00:59:37,144 Yeah, yeah, you don't. 1455 00:59:38,079 --> 00:59:40,848 Hey, guys, look at this. 1456 00:59:40,881 --> 00:59:43,518 Who needs this many blood bags? 1457 00:59:43,552 --> 00:59:46,487 Same guy who does all this. 1458 00:59:46,521 --> 00:59:48,523 Maybe he's just doing a lot of drugs. 1459 00:59:48,557 --> 00:59:50,624 It does kinda Look like a meth lab in here. 1460 00:59:50,658 --> 00:59:52,493 How many meth labs have you been in, Rev? 1461 00:59:52,527 --> 00:59:53,727 Seven. 1462 00:59:53,761 --> 00:59:55,029 No, 1463 00:59:55,062 --> 00:59:55,896 eight. 1464 00:59:56,797 --> 00:59:59,467 Holy shit, guys, look at this. 1465 01:00:00,535 --> 01:00:02,636 Whoa, it's like A Beautiful Mind. 1466 01:00:02,670 --> 01:00:05,739 Yeah, but ugly as shit! 1467 01:00:05,773 --> 01:00:09,243 I wonder how many cats he stole this yarn from. 1468 01:00:09,276 --> 01:00:11,178 Oh, my God, look at that little guy. 1469 01:00:11,212 --> 01:00:12,012 Come on, Hawk. 1470 01:00:12,046 --> 01:00:12,847 This is serious. 1471 01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:13,681 I know, Rev. 1472 01:00:13,714 --> 01:00:15,282 Look what he's sitting on. 1473 01:00:15,316 --> 01:00:17,751 It's a blueprint for the city's water filtration plant. 1474 01:00:17,785 --> 01:00:19,588 Look, here's the well. 1475 01:00:19,620 --> 01:00:20,421 What? 1476 01:00:20,454 --> 01:00:21,255 How do you know that? 1477 01:00:21,288 --> 01:00:22,256 I used to work there. 1478 01:00:22,289 --> 01:00:23,824 They fired me 'cause I tried to excise a demon 1479 01:00:23,858 --> 01:00:25,426 from a day shift manager. 1480 01:00:25,459 --> 01:00:27,795 Well, they probably didn't want all that blood 1481 01:00:27,828 --> 01:00:29,330 near the city's clean water. 1482 01:00:31,198 --> 01:00:32,399 He's gonna poison the well. 1483 01:00:32,433 --> 01:00:37,371 And create an army of filthy ass vampires in the process. 1484 01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:42,109 What, what are you looking at? 1485 01:00:43,010 --> 01:00:43,811 Bye! 1486 01:00:43,844 --> 01:00:44,778 Bye. 1487 01:00:44,812 --> 01:00:46,313 We really need to call the cops. 1488 01:00:46,347 --> 01:00:47,214 We already did. 1489 01:00:47,248 --> 01:00:48,517 Trust me, they won't even believe us. 1490 01:00:48,550 --> 01:00:49,518 Yeah, they really won't. 1491 01:00:49,551 --> 01:00:50,651 Okay, well, then I'll call. 1492 01:00:50,684 --> 01:00:51,819 No, they'll still think it's me. 1493 01:00:51,852 --> 01:00:52,887 Yeah, they really will. 1494 01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:53,888 You'll probably get arrested. 1495 01:00:53,921 --> 01:00:55,524 Aren't you supposed to be taking notes on this? 1496 01:00:55,557 --> 01:00:58,792 No, Hawk, I think we have bigger problems right now. 1497 01:00:58,826 --> 01:00:59,827 Holy shit! 1498 01:00:59,860 --> 01:01:01,395 Why didn't I think of that? 1499 01:01:01,428 --> 01:01:02,531 Hold on. 1500 01:01:02,564 --> 01:01:04,965 Rev, I'm breaking rule three. 1501 01:01:09,503 --> 01:01:11,372 God, Hawk, what is it now? 1502 01:01:11,405 --> 01:01:12,206 I'm sorry, Jack. 1503 01:01:12,239 --> 01:01:13,941 I just wanted to call and confess 1504 01:01:13,974 --> 01:01:16,210 that we lied about those kids with cancer earlier. 1505 01:01:16,243 --> 01:01:17,411 I mean, don't get me wrong. 1506 01:01:17,444 --> 01:01:20,481 They still have it, but all the toys, they were stolen. 1507 01:01:20,515 --> 01:01:23,817 Great, then I'll come arrest you then. 1508 01:01:27,021 --> 01:01:27,888 Did you just hang up on me? 1509 01:01:27,922 --> 01:01:28,722 I did. 1510 01:01:28,756 --> 01:01:31,425 I told you not to call this... 1511 01:01:34,061 --> 01:01:34,862 You do that again, I swear to God, 1512 01:01:34,895 --> 01:01:35,829 I'll throw the book at you. 1513 01:01:35,863 --> 01:01:36,665 You hear me? 1514 01:01:36,697 --> 01:01:37,666 I triple dog dare you, Jack. 1515 01:01:37,698 --> 01:01:38,533 Hawk... 1516 01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:40,734 You didn't say where, genius. 1517 01:01:40,768 --> 01:01:42,537 Oh, son of a bitch! 1518 01:01:44,138 --> 01:01:44,939 Just hit redial! 1519 01:01:44,972 --> 01:01:45,973 I don't have redial. 1520 01:01:46,006 --> 01:01:47,576 You just hit the same button. 1521 01:01:47,609 --> 01:01:49,176 Hold on. 1522 01:01:50,110 --> 01:01:51,845 Hawk, you are done, do you hear me? 1523 01:01:51,879 --> 01:01:53,582 I'm going to own your ass, mister! 1524 01:01:53,615 --> 01:01:56,150 I forgot to say I'll be at the water filtration plant. 1525 01:01:56,183 --> 01:01:58,752 I am coming for you, you son of... 1526 01:01:58,786 --> 01:01:59,588 He'll be there. 1527 01:02:27,448 --> 01:02:31,519 Usually, I get so hard in a car full of people. 1528 01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:35,422 I mean, I'm usually up to fuck, mmm, 1529 01:02:37,424 --> 01:02:38,325 so much. 1530 01:02:38,359 --> 01:02:39,594 But I'm scared. 1531 01:02:41,630 --> 01:02:42,396 I'm gonna be honest. 1532 01:02:42,429 --> 01:02:43,864 I'm scared, guys. 1533 01:02:44,733 --> 01:02:47,868 I mean, my dick can't get hard when I'm scared 1534 01:02:47,901 --> 01:02:50,938 'cause Andros Junior doesn't like fear. 1535 01:02:50,971 --> 01:02:52,406 He likes pussies. 1536 01:02:55,109 --> 01:02:57,579 I wonder what he's doing over there. 1537 01:02:57,612 --> 01:03:00,481 He's probably talking on the phone with his mommy. 1538 01:03:00,515 --> 01:03:03,784 I mean, what kind of loser ass vampire lives in a garage? 1539 01:03:03,817 --> 01:03:05,853 Weren't you living in your parents' backyard? 1540 01:03:05,886 --> 01:03:07,154 Yeah, so what? 1541 01:03:07,187 --> 01:03:09,323 So where are you living now, Hawk? 1542 01:03:09,356 --> 01:03:12,359 Uh, in a tent in the camp down by the gully. 1543 01:03:12,393 --> 01:03:13,595 What are you trying to say, Rev? 1544 01:03:13,628 --> 01:03:15,396 I'm pretty sure he's trying to say 1545 01:03:15,429 --> 01:03:17,264 at least Jasper lives inside. 1546 01:03:17,298 --> 01:03:18,399 That's what I'm trying to say. 1547 01:03:18,432 --> 01:03:19,233 Yeah. 1548 01:03:19,266 --> 01:03:20,535 Oh, I see how it is. 1549 01:03:20,568 --> 01:03:21,670 You know what? 1550 01:03:21,703 --> 01:03:23,971 I don't need help, especially from some girl writer, 1551 01:03:24,004 --> 01:03:25,640 and some lame old goth band, 1552 01:03:25,674 --> 01:03:29,678 and a sad loser traitor I thought was my friend. 1553 01:03:39,019 --> 01:03:40,622 I really think we should wait for the cops, Hawk. 1554 01:03:40,655 --> 01:03:42,590 Oh, yeah, and just let that son of a bitch cop 1555 01:03:42,624 --> 01:03:44,992 with cool hair take all the glory? 1556 01:03:45,025 --> 01:03:46,528 No freaking way. 1557 01:03:46,561 --> 01:03:48,095 And another thing, fiery fox. 1558 01:03:48,128 --> 01:03:49,564 If I survive this battle, 1559 01:03:49,597 --> 01:03:51,666 we're going on a proper date, damn it, 1560 01:03:51,700 --> 01:03:53,867 not just another one-night stand in my tent 1561 01:03:53,901 --> 01:03:56,070 down in that camp down by the gully 1562 01:03:56,103 --> 01:03:59,273 next to that sad, sad snoring accountant. 1563 01:03:59,306 --> 01:04:00,107 Terry. 1564 01:04:00,140 --> 01:04:00,941 I like Terry. 1565 01:04:00,974 --> 01:04:01,776 Yeah. 1566 01:04:01,810 --> 01:04:02,610 I mean, no. 1567 01:04:02,644 --> 01:04:04,044 I mean, we're going on a proper date 1568 01:04:04,078 --> 01:04:06,447 to a place named after a garden or something. 1569 01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,650 They, they may even prepare a salad at the table. 1570 01:04:08,683 --> 01:04:12,687 I don't know, but we are going, even if you did have 1571 01:04:12,721 --> 01:04:17,458 liberal arts, creepy, poly, gothic group sex or whatever 1572 01:04:17,491 --> 01:04:19,761 with all or most of these people. 1573 01:04:19,794 --> 01:04:22,262 Yeah, that's not what's going on here. 1574 01:04:22,296 --> 01:04:23,097 Yeah. 1575 01:04:23,130 --> 01:04:26,133 Believe it or not, we're monogamous. 1576 01:04:28,536 --> 01:04:30,204 It really bothers you, doesn't it? 1577 01:04:30,237 --> 01:04:31,071 No! 1578 01:04:33,808 --> 01:04:36,143 I'm coming for you, vampire! 1579 01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:40,447 Wait, Hawk, you forgot your net! 1580 01:04:42,983 --> 01:04:44,753 Is the child lock on the door? 1581 01:04:44,786 --> 01:04:46,053 I think it's... 1582 01:05:02,970 --> 01:05:03,904 I got it. 1583 01:05:04,972 --> 01:05:08,142 You let them in my room without my permission. 1584 01:05:08,175 --> 01:05:10,645 I know it's technically the garage. 1585 01:05:10,678 --> 01:05:12,413 That's not the point! 1586 01:05:13,380 --> 01:05:14,982 Jesus Christ, Rev. 1587 01:05:15,015 --> 01:05:18,152 You can't just sneak up on people like that. 1588 01:05:18,185 --> 01:05:20,755 Sorry, but you forgot the... 1589 01:05:20,789 --> 01:05:21,623 Dang it! 1590 01:05:23,223 --> 01:05:24,057 Hawk. 1591 01:05:25,058 --> 01:05:26,193 Are you crying? 1592 01:05:28,328 --> 01:05:29,997 Hawk, this is huge! 1593 01:05:30,030 --> 01:05:33,267 Hawk, you're feeling something other than homicidal rage. 1594 01:05:33,300 --> 01:05:34,769 Don't you make fun of me. 1595 01:05:34,803 --> 01:05:36,170 I'm not making fun of you. 1596 01:05:36,203 --> 01:05:36,970 You are. 1597 01:05:37,004 --> 01:05:37,806 No, I'm not. 1598 01:05:37,839 --> 01:05:38,640 You are. 1599 01:05:38,673 --> 01:05:39,473 I am not. 1600 01:05:39,507 --> 01:05:40,307 Are to! 1601 01:05:40,340 --> 01:05:41,175 No! 1602 01:05:42,710 --> 01:05:43,977 Are to. 1603 01:05:44,011 --> 01:05:45,279 Am not. 1604 01:05:45,312 --> 01:05:46,848 Should we be helping them? 1605 01:05:46,881 --> 01:05:48,783 Dude, we're musicians. 1606 01:05:48,817 --> 01:05:50,518 We don't tussle with vampires. 1607 01:05:50,552 --> 01:05:52,119 Totally. 1608 01:05:52,152 --> 01:05:54,622 We could tussle with this. 1609 01:05:54,656 --> 01:05:55,857 God, you make me so angry! 1610 01:05:55,890 --> 01:05:57,458 You're not even a real pacifist! 1611 01:05:57,491 --> 01:05:58,292 Yes, I am! 1612 01:05:58,325 --> 01:05:59,126 It's you! 1613 01:05:59,159 --> 01:06:01,261 You're so violent. 1614 01:06:01,295 --> 01:06:03,964 You make fun of my feelings! 1615 01:06:03,997 --> 01:06:05,032 I hate you. 1616 01:06:05,065 --> 01:06:07,602 You also let them take my favorite vampire movie. 1617 01:06:07,635 --> 01:06:09,671 You know how much that means to me. 1618 01:06:09,704 --> 01:06:12,339 Yes, I know there are better movies, 1619 01:06:12,372 --> 01:06:13,440 but that's also not the point. 1620 01:06:13,474 --> 01:06:14,274 Yes, I am! 1621 01:06:14,308 --> 01:06:15,108 It's you! 1622 01:06:15,142 --> 01:06:17,077 You, you do this to me! 1623 01:06:22,517 --> 01:06:24,451 Mother, I have to go. 1624 01:06:28,890 --> 01:06:30,457 Forget something? 1625 01:06:32,292 --> 01:06:35,195 Also, where is the vampire? 1626 01:06:35,229 --> 01:06:36,029 I'm right here. 1627 01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:39,801 Oh, he's out. 1628 01:06:39,834 --> 01:06:41,201 I'm warning you, fang face. 1629 01:06:41,235 --> 01:06:42,737 I'm a 12-degree black belt. 1630 01:06:42,770 --> 01:06:44,639 I was army deep deep special ops. 1631 01:06:44,672 --> 01:06:46,741 And I've battled your loser kind before. 1632 01:06:46,774 --> 01:06:48,108 Yeah, and I... 1633 01:06:49,611 --> 01:06:51,946 I got this silver-plated net. 1634 01:06:51,980 --> 01:06:53,815 Now, you lay down those fangs and surrender 1635 01:06:53,848 --> 01:06:56,316 or we're gonna be forced to get physical. 1636 01:06:56,350 --> 01:06:57,552 Oh, I got that one. 1637 01:06:57,585 --> 01:06:58,586 I love that song, 1638 01:06:58,620 --> 01:07:00,788 - get physical. - Oh, come on, Rev. 1639 01:07:00,822 --> 01:07:03,591 I am so gonna enjoy this. 1640 01:07:03,625 --> 01:07:05,325 Hey, guys. 1641 01:07:05,359 --> 01:07:07,729 Who's your friend with the cool fangs? 1642 01:07:07,762 --> 01:07:09,062 Run, Terry! 1643 01:07:09,096 --> 01:07:09,998 What? 1644 01:07:10,030 --> 01:07:10,798 - He's a vampire! - He's a vampire, Terry! 1645 01:07:10,832 --> 01:07:11,633 Run! 1646 01:07:11,666 --> 01:07:12,634 Vampire? 1647 01:07:12,667 --> 01:07:14,234 He's a fucking, vampire, Terry! 1648 01:07:14,268 --> 01:07:15,068 Run! 1649 01:07:15,102 --> 01:07:15,937 Wait. 1650 01:07:16,804 --> 01:07:18,138 That's not cool. 1651 01:07:24,211 --> 01:07:25,880 Terry! 1652 01:07:25,914 --> 01:07:27,281 Not cool! 1653 01:07:27,314 --> 01:07:30,183 You get off him, you cannibal! 1654 01:07:30,217 --> 01:07:31,886 What are you gonna do, cry about it? 1655 01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:33,955 Like you did every night in cell block nine? 1656 01:07:33,988 --> 01:07:36,858 You'd cry too if your cellmate was a sexual predator. 1657 01:07:36,891 --> 01:07:37,692 Yeah! 1658 01:07:37,725 --> 01:07:38,526 - Wait, what? - What, you're... 1659 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:39,827 No one's asking either of you. 1660 01:07:39,861 --> 01:07:40,995 Come on, Hawk. 1661 01:07:41,029 --> 01:07:43,998 There's no need to get all up in arms about it. 1662 01:07:49,236 --> 01:07:50,505 Catch! 1663 01:07:50,538 --> 01:07:51,639 Oh, God! 1664 01:07:52,707 --> 01:07:53,541 Oh! 1665 01:07:58,613 --> 01:07:59,614 Did he just rip that man's... 1666 01:07:59,647 --> 01:08:01,415 Arm off and throw it at 'em? 1667 01:08:01,448 --> 01:08:02,416 Not cool! 1668 01:08:02,449 --> 01:08:03,518 My arm! 1669 01:08:03,551 --> 01:08:05,385 You back away from that homeless accountant, 1670 01:08:05,419 --> 01:08:06,821 you vicious vampire scum! 1671 01:08:06,854 --> 01:08:09,356 What's wrong with you, you bloodsucking bastard! 1672 01:08:09,389 --> 01:08:10,959 Pick on someone your own size! 1673 01:08:10,992 --> 01:08:12,259 I'm sorry, guys. 1674 01:08:12,292 --> 01:08:14,494 Were you trying to get a leg up on me? 1675 01:08:14,529 --> 01:08:15,630 Not my leg! 1676 01:08:15,663 --> 01:08:17,065 Not his leg! 1677 01:08:17,097 --> 01:08:18,231 Not the leg! 1678 01:08:29,409 --> 01:08:30,745 So much blood. 1679 01:08:45,292 --> 01:08:46,928 He's laughing at us, Rev! 1680 01:08:46,961 --> 01:08:47,862 Come on, man! 1681 01:08:47,895 --> 01:08:49,262 He won't stop throwing limbs at me. 1682 01:08:49,296 --> 01:08:51,599 Guys, guys, guys. 1683 01:08:51,633 --> 01:08:53,133 No need to lose your head over it. 1684 01:08:53,166 --> 01:08:53,968 Don't you even. 1685 01:08:54,002 --> 01:08:54,802 No! 1686 01:08:54,836 --> 01:08:55,803 Not the head! 1687 01:08:55,837 --> 01:08:56,638 - Please don't do that! - No, don't. 1688 01:08:56,671 --> 01:08:57,471 Not that, no! 1689 01:08:57,505 --> 01:09:00,273 Any last words, accountant? 1690 01:09:00,307 --> 01:09:02,043 Tell my mom 1691 01:09:02,076 --> 01:09:05,145 that she can't write the ferrets off on federal tax. 1692 01:09:05,178 --> 01:09:07,882 But maybe try state because they can count 1693 01:09:07,915 --> 01:09:12,053 as companion animals, you know, for emotional support. 1694 01:09:12,086 --> 01:09:13,588 Emotional support! 1695 01:09:15,990 --> 01:09:16,991 No! 1696 01:09:17,025 --> 01:09:18,026 No! 1697 01:09:20,193 --> 01:09:20,995 No! 1698 01:09:26,134 --> 01:09:27,200 No! 1699 01:09:42,850 --> 01:09:45,285 You're going down, Hawk. 1700 01:09:45,318 --> 01:09:47,454 This is the last time you do this to me. 1701 01:09:47,487 --> 01:09:48,823 Now you're mine. 1702 01:09:50,290 --> 01:09:51,191 You know, 1703 01:09:52,392 --> 01:09:55,129 I used to be just like you guys. 1704 01:09:55,163 --> 01:09:56,363 I fought evil. 1705 01:09:56,396 --> 01:09:58,633 I defended the good and the weak. 1706 01:09:58,666 --> 01:10:00,935 Hell, I even had 72 red baron kills. 1707 01:10:00,968 --> 01:10:03,104 You're nothing like us, vampire. 1708 01:10:03,137 --> 01:10:04,772 That is a shit ton of kills. 1709 01:10:04,806 --> 01:10:05,673 That is a lot of kills. 1710 01:10:05,707 --> 01:10:07,240 Yeah, you're like a mass murderer. 1711 01:10:07,274 --> 01:10:08,810 They're blood suckers, Rev. 1712 01:10:08,843 --> 01:10:11,879 Yeah, anyway, you know what I got 1713 01:10:11,913 --> 01:10:15,183 after defending Santa Muerte for all those years, 1714 01:10:15,215 --> 01:10:18,086 after all that blood, sweat and sacrifice? 1715 01:10:18,119 --> 01:10:19,587 I don't know, vampire. 1716 01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:22,924 A raging boner load of your own satisfaction? 1717 01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,224 That's what I'd have. 1718 01:10:24,257 --> 01:10:25,526 I got nothing. 1719 01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:27,260 It was meaningless. 1720 01:10:27,294 --> 01:10:29,731 I was resigned to my mortal fate, 1721 01:10:29,764 --> 01:10:31,833 until I got a call from a nursing home 1722 01:10:31,866 --> 01:10:34,702 about some old drooling Nosferatu. 1723 01:10:40,273 --> 01:10:41,576 Give up, you old demon! 1724 01:10:41,609 --> 01:10:42,710 Never! 1725 01:10:42,744 --> 01:10:44,679 Join me, human spawn. 1726 01:10:57,290 --> 01:11:00,393 And just like that, I was immortal, 1727 01:11:01,361 --> 01:11:03,998 at the top of the food chain officially. 1728 01:11:04,031 --> 01:11:06,934 And there's plenty of room up here for you, 1729 01:11:06,968 --> 01:11:08,536 your boyfriend, 1730 01:11:08,569 --> 01:11:12,339 and his mentally challenged janitor sidekick. 1731 01:11:13,273 --> 01:11:15,442 You should all just join me. 1732 01:11:15,475 --> 01:11:16,878 We could rule the world. 1733 01:11:16,911 --> 01:11:18,780 We'll never join you, vampire. 1734 01:11:18,813 --> 01:11:21,649 Also, Rev is not mentally challenged. 1735 01:11:21,682 --> 01:11:24,417 He is a goddamn groundskeeping engineer. 1736 01:11:24,451 --> 01:11:26,120 Thank you for remembering that, Hawk. 1737 01:11:26,154 --> 01:11:29,090 Also, Hawk is not my boyfriend. 1738 01:11:29,123 --> 01:11:30,191 Wait, what? 1739 01:11:30,224 --> 01:11:32,359 You're not my boyfriend, Hawk! 1740 01:11:32,392 --> 01:11:34,195 But we had all that sex. 1741 01:11:34,228 --> 01:11:35,930 I mean, you even let me do that thing. 1742 01:11:35,963 --> 01:11:39,466 Yeah, she let me do that thing too, man. 1743 01:11:41,135 --> 01:11:44,005 You slept with a vampire? 1744 01:11:44,038 --> 01:11:46,473 Dude, this is so boring. 1745 01:11:46,507 --> 01:11:49,376 I mean, other than that poor man's limbs being ripped off. 1746 01:11:49,409 --> 01:11:51,344 Yeah, there was that. 1747 01:11:51,378 --> 01:11:52,980 I thought Hawk said he was a black belt. 1748 01:11:53,014 --> 01:11:53,815 Come on. 1749 01:11:53,848 --> 01:11:56,150 He thought we were vampires. 1750 01:11:58,252 --> 01:11:59,754 Where the fuck did you get popcorn? 1751 01:11:59,787 --> 01:12:00,955 Yeah. 1752 01:12:00,988 --> 01:12:02,089 When did you pop that? 1753 01:12:02,123 --> 01:12:03,124 How do you even get it in your mouth? 1754 01:12:03,157 --> 01:12:05,358 I didn't open your zipper. 1755 01:12:05,392 --> 01:12:06,828 Oh, you're doing that yourself now? 1756 01:12:13,835 --> 01:12:16,671 You're motherfucking mine. 1757 01:12:17,538 --> 01:12:18,338 Come on, Hawk. 1758 01:12:18,371 --> 01:12:19,507 I mean, you just gotta get past 1759 01:12:19,540 --> 01:12:23,778 your narrow-minded views of monogamous relationships. 1760 01:12:23,811 --> 01:12:24,612 Yeah. 1761 01:12:24,645 --> 01:12:27,347 Seriously, dude, relax. 1762 01:12:27,380 --> 01:12:28,716 Hawk, join me. 1763 01:12:29,684 --> 01:12:31,853 You can have any man or woman you want, 1764 01:12:31,886 --> 01:12:34,589 be or do anything you want. 1765 01:12:34,622 --> 01:12:35,823 And you never have to work 1766 01:12:35,857 --> 01:12:39,426 as a small town night security guard again. 1767 01:12:40,828 --> 01:12:43,898 People might even take you seriously. 1768 01:12:47,134 --> 01:12:48,302 I'm not gonna lie, guys. 1769 01:12:48,336 --> 01:12:50,304 This is sounding pretty good. 1770 01:12:50,338 --> 01:12:52,573 I mean, no one ever takes me seriously. 1771 01:12:52,607 --> 01:12:55,142 - Yeah, they don't. - They really don't. 1772 01:12:55,176 --> 01:12:56,110 At all. 1773 01:12:56,143 --> 01:12:58,279 I didn't think it was that bad. 1774 01:12:58,312 --> 01:13:01,349 Look, I appreciate the offer, vampire. 1775 01:13:01,381 --> 01:13:02,984 I really do. 1776 01:13:03,017 --> 01:13:06,287 But I'm already pretty good at kicking asses. 1777 01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:10,658 And Theo here, I mean, she's all the woman I need. 1778 01:13:10,691 --> 01:13:13,594 Also, I kinda like being a small town night security guard 1779 01:13:13,628 --> 01:13:16,097 who's bad with women and people don't take seriously. 1780 01:13:16,130 --> 01:13:18,232 It gives me the element of surprise. 1781 01:13:18,266 --> 01:13:21,302 Also, I'm not a cannibal, and I don't eat people. 1782 01:13:21,335 --> 01:13:22,169 That's the same thing. 1783 01:13:22,203 --> 01:13:23,137 You just said the same thing twice. 1784 01:13:23,170 --> 01:13:23,971 That's the same. 1785 01:13:24,005 --> 01:13:25,373 Yeah, that's the same thing, man. 1786 01:13:25,405 --> 01:13:26,207 You know what? 1787 01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:27,508 What-fucking-ever, vampire! 1788 01:13:27,541 --> 01:13:29,543 I'm done playing your bloodsucking games! 1789 01:13:29,577 --> 01:13:30,378 Yeah. 1790 01:13:30,410 --> 01:13:31,345 Yeah. 1791 01:13:31,379 --> 01:13:32,313 Now, I'm gonna give you one last chance 1792 01:13:32,346 --> 01:13:34,481 to lay down those fangs and surrender. 1793 01:13:34,515 --> 01:13:37,484 Or mark my words as Hawk-Hawk, vampire slayer, 1794 01:13:37,518 --> 01:13:39,987 savior and protector of Santa Muerte... 1795 01:13:40,021 --> 01:13:40,988 Yeah. 1796 01:13:41,022 --> 01:13:42,489 I will drive a stake right through that ass! 1797 01:13:42,523 --> 01:13:43,324 Yeah! 1798 01:13:43,357 --> 01:13:44,158 Or chest. 1799 01:13:44,191 --> 01:13:44,992 What? 1800 01:13:45,026 --> 01:13:46,627 You get the idea! 1801 01:13:49,230 --> 01:13:51,999 Damn it, I forgot my secret stake. 1802 01:13:52,033 --> 01:13:54,368 If you trace your steps back, maybe we can figure out. 1803 01:13:54,402 --> 01:13:56,003 You had it at the religious supply store 1804 01:13:56,037 --> 01:13:57,271 - so maybe you left it... - Rev, we get it! 1805 01:13:57,305 --> 01:13:58,438 I got this, okay? 1806 01:14:24,665 --> 01:14:25,566 Oh, yeah! 1807 01:14:28,302 --> 01:14:30,371 Holy shit, that's working! 1808 01:14:30,404 --> 01:14:33,341 Oh, vampires don't like Jesus. 1809 01:14:33,374 --> 01:14:35,475 Quick, Rev, get the silver-plated net. 1810 01:14:35,509 --> 01:14:37,278 We're taking this one alive. 1811 01:14:37,311 --> 01:14:38,679 Right behind you. 1812 01:14:38,713 --> 01:14:39,547 Catch! 1813 01:14:41,449 --> 01:14:44,652 In the name of the father, the son 1814 01:14:44,685 --> 01:14:47,188 and the motherfucking holy ghost! 1815 01:14:47,221 --> 01:14:48,222 And Jesus! 1816 01:14:49,423 --> 01:14:50,490 One. 1817 01:14:50,524 --> 01:14:51,592 Two. 1818 01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:52,460 Three! 1819 01:14:55,563 --> 01:14:56,397 Yeah! 1820 01:15:05,539 --> 01:15:07,675 Don't you hiss at my woman, fang face. 1821 01:15:07,708 --> 01:15:09,076 Easy, Hawk. 1822 01:15:09,110 --> 01:15:11,045 Yeah, I can take care of myself, thank you. 1823 01:15:11,078 --> 01:15:12,213 Oh, yeah, sorry. 1824 01:15:12,246 --> 01:15:13,280 I forgot. 1825 01:15:13,314 --> 01:15:16,784 Hawk, you know, I'm just so proud of you. 1826 01:15:16,817 --> 01:15:17,752 I really am. 1827 01:15:17,785 --> 01:15:19,220 I think you've done a wonderful job. 1828 01:15:19,253 --> 01:15:20,621 Oh, thanks, Rev. 1829 01:15:20,654 --> 01:15:21,555 You know what? 1830 01:15:21,589 --> 01:15:23,824 I think you can wear one of my vests now. 1831 01:15:23,858 --> 01:15:24,658 You earned it. 1832 01:15:24,692 --> 01:15:25,659 Really? 1833 01:15:25,693 --> 01:15:28,662 I've always wanted to wear one of your vests. 1834 01:15:28,696 --> 01:15:30,231 Theo, what do you think? 1835 01:15:30,264 --> 01:15:31,832 Okay, Hawk, I'll write about you. 1836 01:15:31,866 --> 01:15:34,335 And I will consider being your girlfriend. 1837 01:15:34,368 --> 01:15:36,437 No, no, I mean about wearing one of my vests. 1838 01:15:36,470 --> 01:15:37,271 Oh, my God. 1839 01:15:37,304 --> 01:15:38,105 I'll think about it. 1840 01:15:38,139 --> 01:15:39,040 Oh no. 1841 01:15:39,073 --> 01:15:39,874 What? 1842 01:15:39,907 --> 01:15:41,709 Oh, a nick, 1843 01:15:41,742 --> 01:15:44,345 or a bite, a bite from a... 1844 01:15:45,946 --> 01:15:47,381 The vampire nicked me! 1845 01:15:47,415 --> 01:15:48,249 I'm gonna be a blood sucking, 1846 01:15:48,282 --> 01:15:49,984 no, I'm gonna be a bloodsucking vampire! 1847 01:15:50,017 --> 01:15:50,851 Stop that! 1848 01:15:51,752 --> 01:15:52,720 Just get away! 1849 01:15:55,122 --> 01:15:56,190 Get that away from me! 1850 01:15:56,223 --> 01:15:57,024 Get the hell back! 1851 01:15:57,058 --> 01:15:59,528 I'm a bloodsucking vampire! 1852 01:15:59,593 --> 01:16:00,394 Oh no! 1853 01:16:02,163 --> 01:16:02,997 Oh God! 1854 01:16:04,298 --> 01:16:05,833 Jesus Christ. 1855 01:16:05,866 --> 01:16:07,501 Oh God. 1856 01:16:07,536 --> 01:16:09,203 Hey, Jack. 1857 01:16:09,236 --> 01:16:11,506 We finally caught ourselves a vampire. 1858 01:16:11,540 --> 01:16:12,573 This is Deputy Jack Scroggins. 1859 01:16:12,606 --> 01:16:13,674 I'm gonna need some help up here 1860 01:16:13,707 --> 01:16:15,476 on the road to Santa Muerte water filtration plant. 1861 01:16:15,510 --> 01:16:17,144 Somebody get my stepmom! 1862 01:16:17,178 --> 01:16:18,012 Oh my God! 1863 01:16:19,013 --> 01:16:21,315 Also, he may turn into one, so. 1864 01:16:21,348 --> 01:16:22,249 I'm a future killer. 1865 01:16:22,283 --> 01:16:23,184 I'm a future killer. 1866 01:16:23,217 --> 01:16:24,251 I'm gonna kill people in the future. 1867 01:16:24,285 --> 01:16:25,719 Make that a lot of help. 1868 01:16:25,753 --> 01:16:26,555 You did it! 1869 01:16:26,587 --> 01:16:27,488 You did it! 1870 01:16:31,158 --> 01:16:31,959 Oh God! 1871 01:16:31,992 --> 01:16:34,261 Can we get a bandaid? 1872 01:16:34,295 --> 01:16:36,263 Horrible timing. 1873 01:16:36,297 --> 01:16:37,131 Oh God! 1874 01:16:39,033 --> 01:16:43,270 ♪ You have my word as the air earth has the sun ♪ 1875 01:16:43,304 --> 01:16:45,906 ♪ As the water has the rock ♪ 1876 01:16:45,940 --> 01:16:50,077 ♪ There is no question, there are none ♪ 1877 01:16:50,111 --> 01:16:54,448 ♪ You have my word as the branches have the sky ♪ 1878 01:16:54,482 --> 01:16:57,218 ♪ As these lungs take the air ♪ 1879 01:16:57,251 --> 01:17:00,154 ♪ There is no question of why ♪ 1880 01:17:00,187 --> 01:17:05,192 ♪ My word is good ♪ 1881 01:17:05,626 --> 01:17:10,631 ♪ My word is law ♪ 1882 01:17:12,032 --> 01:17:14,603 ♪ My baby, my baby ♪ 1883 01:17:14,635 --> 01:17:16,437 Dear Hawk, we're so happy 1884 01:17:16,470 --> 01:17:18,607 you're feeling well enough to go back to work. 1885 01:17:18,639 --> 01:17:20,575 Maybe you'll finally move out of the yard, 1886 01:17:20,609 --> 01:17:22,710 or better yet, back into the house. 1887 01:17:22,743 --> 01:17:24,245 Love, mom and dad. 1888 01:17:25,713 --> 01:17:28,482 ♪ Their faces here, they glow ♪ 1889 01:17:28,517 --> 01:17:30,184 ♪ Girl, you're welcome here ♪ 1890 01:17:30,217 --> 01:17:33,954 ♪ It's more than you know ♪ 1891 01:17:35,222 --> 01:17:39,426 ♪ You have my word as the earth has the sun ♪ 1892 01:17:39,460 --> 01:17:42,496 ♪ As the water has the rock ♪ 1893 01:17:42,531 --> 01:17:46,300 ♪ There is no question, there are none ♪ 1894 01:17:46,333 --> 01:17:47,301 ♪ You have my word ♪ 1895 01:17:47,334 --> 01:17:48,570 Yeah. 1896 01:17:48,603 --> 01:17:50,905 Yeah, that's good, Hawk. 1897 01:17:50,938 --> 01:17:52,339 I'm proud of you. 1898 01:17:54,041 --> 01:17:55,577 You just take it easy there, vampire. 1899 01:17:55,610 --> 01:17:56,810 I got my eye on you. 1900 01:17:56,844 --> 01:17:58,779 I'm not a vampire, silly. 1901 01:17:58,812 --> 01:18:00,582 How could I exist in the sun? 1902 01:18:00,615 --> 01:18:01,583 I don't know. 1903 01:18:01,616 --> 01:18:03,552 Maybe your clean vegan lifestyle has turned you 1904 01:18:03,585 --> 01:18:06,987 into a vegan super vampire who's impervious to the sun. 1905 01:18:07,021 --> 01:18:09,957 Well, I'm not craving human blood or anything 1906 01:18:09,990 --> 01:18:11,593 or any type of blood. 1907 01:18:11,626 --> 01:18:13,360 And I'm not thinking about murder. 1908 01:18:13,394 --> 01:18:14,261 Well, that's good. 1909 01:18:14,295 --> 01:18:15,729 But if you try anything... 1910 01:18:15,763 --> 01:18:16,565 I won't. 1911 01:18:16,598 --> 01:18:18,432 Yeah, but if you do. 1912 01:18:21,468 --> 01:18:22,436 Dang it, Hawk. 1913 01:18:22,469 --> 01:18:25,072 I thought we agreed, no secret stake at tai chi. 1914 01:18:25,105 --> 01:18:25,906 We did. 1915 01:18:25,940 --> 01:18:26,707 But you still brought it. 1916 01:18:26,740 --> 01:18:27,542 I know. 1917 01:18:27,576 --> 01:18:28,943 It's a gift. 1918 01:18:28,976 --> 01:18:30,144 It's for you. 1919 01:18:30,177 --> 01:18:31,011 For me? 1920 01:18:32,346 --> 01:18:34,415 Hawk, you son of a bitch. 1921 01:18:40,154 --> 01:18:42,389 What's the matter, old boy? 1922 01:18:44,124 --> 01:18:45,292 You vampire! 1923 01:18:46,860 --> 01:18:47,696 You! 1924 01:18:50,699 --> 01:18:51,700 Damn it. 1925 01:18:51,732 --> 01:18:53,934 My own secret stake. 1926 01:18:53,968 --> 01:18:55,836 Yeah, so this way, you know, if you turn, 1927 01:18:55,869 --> 01:18:56,904 you can just stake yourself 1928 01:18:56,937 --> 01:19:01,008 so I don't have to live with the guilt of it all. 1929 01:19:12,554 --> 01:19:13,887 You're welcome. 1930 01:19:13,921 --> 01:19:14,723 I'm sorry. 1931 01:19:14,755 --> 01:19:15,557 For what? 1932 01:19:15,590 --> 01:19:16,658 For saving Santa Muerte 1933 01:19:16,691 --> 01:19:18,926 from bloodsucking vampires. 1934 01:19:20,662 --> 01:19:22,429 I'm just glad everything's settled down. 1935 01:19:22,463 --> 01:19:24,765 Well, either way, I'll still be here 1936 01:19:24,798 --> 01:19:26,601 carting this empty building. 1937 01:19:26,635 --> 01:19:27,569 And you'll be on time. 1938 01:19:27,602 --> 01:19:28,603 Jesus Christ, Arnold. 1939 01:19:28,637 --> 01:19:29,738 Give me a damn break. 1940 01:19:29,770 --> 01:19:30,838 I'll give you a break, Hawk, 1941 01:19:30,871 --> 01:19:32,607 when you stop attacking my religion. 1942 01:19:32,641 --> 01:19:35,276 Well, we'll call it a Mexican standoff. 1943 01:19:35,309 --> 01:19:36,678 Speaking of breaks, I think it's about time 1944 01:19:36,711 --> 01:19:37,746 for me to take mine. 1945 01:19:37,778 --> 01:19:38,713 You just clocked in. 1946 01:19:38,747 --> 01:19:40,314 Take it up with the damn liberals. 1947 01:20:00,501 --> 01:20:02,836 Hey, what's up, guys? 1948 01:20:02,870 --> 01:20:03,705 I'm back. 1949 01:20:05,039 --> 01:20:06,440 How was your gig? 1950 01:20:11,011 --> 01:20:12,346 Fucking mummies! 1951 01:20:13,213 --> 01:20:16,850 ♪ Hawk and Rev doing anything ♪ 1952 01:20:16,884 --> 01:20:20,854 ♪ Saving the world, keeping everything ♪ 1953 01:20:20,888 --> 01:20:24,759 ♪ Safe for you when you sleep at night ♪ 1954 01:20:24,793 --> 01:20:28,929 ♪ They'll be asleep just by our side ♪ 1955 01:20:28,962 --> 01:20:32,767 ♪ Hawk and Rev saving the day ♪ 1956 01:20:32,801 --> 01:20:36,738 ♪ Fighting vampires, chasing them away ♪ 1957 01:20:36,771 --> 01:20:40,709 ♪ Don't have to be tough, don't have to be strong ♪ 1958 01:20:40,742 --> 01:20:45,814 ♪ Just hold my hand when the night's been long ♪ 1959 01:20:45,846 --> 01:20:48,949 ♪ Oh, don't you fret my dear ♪ 1960 01:20:48,982 --> 01:20:52,386 ♪ He's gonna make it all right out here ♪ 1961 01:20:52,419 --> 01:20:57,424 ♪ Santa Muerte's got themselves some new heroes ♪ 1962 01:21:02,496 --> 01:21:03,997 So you're doing that yourself, now? 1963 01:21:04,031 --> 01:21:05,265 Take off the mask, Forneus. 1964 01:21:05,299 --> 01:21:07,368 Seriously, take it off. 1965 01:21:08,302 --> 01:21:11,338 ♪ Hawk and Rev ♪ 1966 01:21:11,372 --> 01:21:12,707 Hawk, what the hell are you doing? 1967 01:21:12,741 --> 01:21:14,308 You're wearing Forneus's gimp mask. 1968 01:21:14,341 --> 01:21:15,710 I'm sorry, guys. 1969 01:21:15,744 --> 01:21:20,548 It's just that I get really lonely down at hobo camp. 1970 01:21:20,582 --> 01:21:24,686 Just everyone always leaves me, like Theo. 1971 01:21:24,719 --> 01:21:27,187 I'm just trying to fit in. 1972 01:21:27,221 --> 01:21:28,590 What? 1973 01:21:28,623 --> 01:21:30,592 You know what, if you guys aren't gonna accept me, 1974 01:21:30,625 --> 01:21:33,026 then I'll just, I'll just go! 1975 01:21:33,961 --> 01:21:34,763 Wow. 1976 01:21:35,996 --> 01:21:37,231 Can you leave the popcorn at least? 1977 01:21:37,264 --> 01:21:38,265 Fine! 1978 01:21:38,298 --> 01:21:40,200 I have the munchies, drama queen. 1979 01:21:40,234 --> 01:21:42,269 Seriously though. 1980 01:21:42,302 --> 01:21:44,071 What's his problem? 1981 01:21:44,104 --> 01:21:45,072 Drama. 1982 01:21:45,105 --> 01:21:46,206 Yeah. 1983 01:21:46,240 --> 01:21:47,307 Wait. 1984 01:21:47,341 --> 01:21:50,779 Where is Forneus? 1985 01:21:50,812 --> 01:21:52,079 Rev, what the hell are you doing? 1986 01:21:52,112 --> 01:21:54,014 Why are you wearing Forneus's gimp mask, Rev? 1987 01:21:54,047 --> 01:21:55,449 Geeze louise, guys. 1988 01:21:55,482 --> 01:21:56,785 You have to get over your narrow-minded view 1989 01:21:56,818 --> 01:21:58,720 of slave/domination. 1990 01:21:58,753 --> 01:22:00,921 I mean, it is 2030, right? 1991 01:22:02,122 --> 01:22:03,323 It is? 1992 01:22:03,357 --> 01:22:07,961 Yeah, it takes a really long time to make an indie film. 1993 01:22:07,995 --> 01:22:09,430 Yeah, I guess he's right. 1994 01:22:09,463 --> 01:22:11,198 Oh, wait, popcorn! 1995 01:22:11,231 --> 01:22:12,032 Okay. 1996 01:22:12,065 --> 01:22:13,802 It's soy milk flavored. 1997 01:22:13,835 --> 01:22:15,302 Hmm. 1998 01:22:15,335 --> 01:22:16,270 I like soy milk. 1999 01:22:16,303 --> 01:22:18,740 Oh, God, that's disgusting! 2000 01:22:22,610 --> 01:22:23,611 Hey, guys. 2001 01:22:23,645 --> 01:22:24,779 Terry, what the hell are you doing? 2002 01:22:24,813 --> 01:22:27,047 Why are you wearing Forneus's gimp mask, Terry? 2003 01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:28,248 Oh, that. 2004 01:22:28,282 --> 01:22:30,250 I'm just trying to get away from my mom. 2005 01:22:30,284 --> 01:22:31,452 She keeps trying to make me do 2006 01:22:31,485 --> 01:22:33,555 weird deductions with her taxes, 2007 01:22:33,588 --> 01:22:36,558 you know, ferrets, and barrels of toxic waste, 2008 01:22:36,591 --> 01:22:39,727 and a life-sized blow-up doll of my stepdad. 2009 01:22:39,761 --> 01:22:40,895 Gross. 2010 01:22:40,929 --> 01:22:42,597 But we just saw you get ripped to shreds. 2011 01:22:42,630 --> 01:22:44,699 By a blood-thirsty vampire. 2012 01:22:44,732 --> 01:22:45,767 I know. 2013 01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:49,671 It's weird how life works out sometimes, right? 2014 01:22:52,406 --> 01:22:53,675 Who the hell are you? 2015 01:22:53,708 --> 01:22:57,010 Yeah, and why are you wearing Forneus's gimp mask? 2016 01:22:57,044 --> 01:22:57,846 I'm Sean. 2017 01:22:57,879 --> 01:22:59,012 I'm the cinematographer. 2018 01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:00,548 You know, with these low-budget movies, 2019 01:23:00,582 --> 01:23:02,650 you know, not enough budget for other actors. 2020 01:23:02,684 --> 01:23:04,151 Okay, sure. 2021 01:23:04,184 --> 01:23:05,085 But then who's... 2022 01:23:05,118 --> 01:23:08,188 Yeah, who's filming us right now? 2023 01:23:08,222 --> 01:23:11,492 That's a good question, actually. 2024 01:23:11,526 --> 01:23:13,360 Hasta la vista, baby. 2025 01:23:13,393 --> 01:23:14,529 It's Terminator. 2026 01:23:14,562 --> 01:23:15,530 Right. 2027 01:23:15,563 --> 01:23:16,965 This is the one where he goes back to the past 2028 01:23:16,997 --> 01:23:18,232 to kill, right? 2029 01:23:19,299 --> 01:23:20,702 I never saw it. 2030 01:23:21,703 --> 01:23:24,238 Hey, this is a really nice shot, vampire. 2031 01:23:24,271 --> 01:23:27,040 Yeah, looking good, vampire brother. 2032 01:23:27,074 --> 01:23:28,308 Whoa, whoa. 2033 01:23:28,342 --> 01:23:30,077 Rev, you can't say that. 2034 01:23:30,110 --> 01:23:31,144 He's the director. 2035 01:23:31,178 --> 01:23:32,614 Plus that's not cool. 2036 01:23:32,647 --> 01:23:34,147 Yeah, but I'm also half vampire now, 2037 01:23:34,181 --> 01:23:37,351 so I can say things like that, right? 2038 01:23:37,384 --> 01:23:41,856 I'll always think of you as a half human hippie janitor. 2039 01:23:41,890 --> 01:23:43,457 Well, first off, I'm not a janitor. 2040 01:23:43,490 --> 01:23:45,259 I'm a groundskeeping engineer. 2041 01:23:45,292 --> 01:23:48,195 And apparently, I'm an actor, so. 2042 01:23:48,228 --> 01:23:49,029 I looked at your eye again. 2043 01:23:49,062 --> 01:23:49,864 I'm sorry. 2044 01:23:49,898 --> 01:23:50,698 I can't help it.