1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,552 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,839 - (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) - (STUDENTS WHOOPING) 3 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,479 - (TIRES SCREECH) - CAMPBELL: Whoa! 4 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,836 Hey! Buddy, excuse me. I'm sorry, you're parking in my spot... 5 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,480 Senior prank day. 6 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,190 Yeah, but it's not a prank. 7 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,000 You're just parking it in an assigned... 8 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,355 That's fine. You're good. 9 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,352 You're good. I'll find a new spot. 10 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:09,995 - Fucking rent-a-cop. - Guys! 11 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,276 I need you to stop rocking the cart. 12 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:12,470 Fuck you! 13 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,630 I'm gonna write your names down. 14 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:14,990 Well, that's not good. 15 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,313 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING CONTINUES) 16 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,150 BOYS: Whoo! 17 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,514 (BOYS LAUGHING) 18 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,315 - Do it! Do it! Do it! - (LAUGHING) 19 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,829 This is gonna be a bad day. 20 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,036 Oh, yeah. 21 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,554 Wait up! 22 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,919 (BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING) 23 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,116 STRICKLAND: Hey! 24 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,396 Oh, fuck! 25 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,480 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 26 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,433 You hold it right there. 27 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,354 Now, outside my class, I found our school's 28 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,390 1971 championship bat in the trash can. 29 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,115 I'm wondering who put it in there 30 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,396 and why. 31 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,076 We thought it'd be funny to throw out the bat 32 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,596 and put the computer in with porn. 33 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:18,470 Put it back. 34 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,076 Now! 35 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,956 Now get y'all Rush Hour asses to class. 36 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,670 Everybody! 37 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,274 Where... Where is my mug? 38 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,274 Why are people always taking my mug? (SIGHS) 39 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,913 You know, I know we're a rough school and everything, 40 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,197 and we don't usually have control over the students, 41 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,670 but this is the worst I've ever seen the pranks. 42 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,320 Really? I think it's hilarious. 43 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,193 I'm thinking about taking a shit in the pool. 44 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,157 I want... I want to think that you're joking. 45 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,596 But for some reason, I feel like you're not. 46 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,353 I was just picturing everybody's faces. 47 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,477 Yeah. I'm just saying it's not a good day for this, you know? 48 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,040 My wife was due three days ago. 49 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,913 And I'm up all night thinking about what I'm gonna say 50 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,230 to the superintendent at 2:00. 51 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,834 You know, I don't have anything planned. 52 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,434 I know what I'm gonna say at my meeting. 53 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:06,875 I'm gonna be like, 54 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,959 "Fuck you for trying to make us re-interview for our jobs again!" 55 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,511 I put my blood, sweat, and tears into my coaching. 56 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,275 - Right. - Not my fault we always in last place. 57 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,879 Yeah, what... What is your record? 58 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,600 These kids are un-coachable! 59 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,473 It's very tough. It's very tough. 60 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,036 Losing here is a tradition. 61 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,629 It shouldn't be. 62 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,995 - Yeah, it's a terrible tradition. - Right? 63 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,799 I'm trying my best 64 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,350 not to get one of these kids' moms pregnant. 65 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:32,835 I'm trying. 66 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:33,990 You're not gonna say that, are you? 67 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,753 Hell no, Campbell. 68 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,320 Be polite as shit. 69 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,949 I went out and bought new jeans for this motherfucker. 70 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,839 And I hate long pants. 71 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,719 - Yeah, you got an exotic build. - (DOOR SLAMS) 72 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,230 Fuck this! 73 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,632 Twenty-two years and then, "See you later!" 74 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:53,397 Those assholes should have taken my class, so they can manage a fucking budget! 75 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,640 I'm taking this. 76 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,190 Taking this. 77 00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,874 See? We're expendable. 78 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,030 They fired Irv. 79 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,429 This school's gonna fuck me? 80 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,034 I'm gonna fuck it! 81 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,310 STRICKLAND: Drop it! 82 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:08,910 Oh, shit. 83 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,277 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 84 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:20,830 Oh, fuck it! 85 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,314 What the fuck is this? 86 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,071 Don't have money for books, but got money for this newfangled... 87 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,391 He gonna fuck that coffee machine up. 88 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,040 Is this a practical joke? 89 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,632 Huh? You know I don't play that shit. 90 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,877 How the fuck you work this bullshit? 91 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,872 You. Campbell. 92 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,910 Me? 93 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,719 You the only one drinking coffee, right? 94 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,030 Uh, yeah. 95 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,591 No, I mean, I got a light roast cappuccino. 96 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,559 Well, get your light roast ass over here and help me fix a cup. 97 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,229 Right. Yeah, sure. Yeah. 98 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,790 I'm sorry, I don't know why I was resisting that. 99 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,111 - Yeah, so it's a new machine. - No shit. 100 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,270 It's state of the art, though. 101 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,591 All you gotta do is put in your order, and it does the rest. 102 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,070 Coffee. 103 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,555 You know, I'll just... I'll do it for you, and I think that's just gonna be the easiest. 104 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,037 Right, so you got your drink selections down here. 105 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,759 And flavors, you got hazelnut... 106 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,400 I just want regular coffee. 107 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,313 Shoot. Uh... 108 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,914 That doesn't seem to be an option. 109 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,356 Um... 110 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,438 How about an Americano? That's basically the same thing. 111 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,791 - Whatever. - So I just pick "Americano", right? 112 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,350 And then you can go medium, light, dark. 113 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,678 You look like... Or not look like, you would want... 114 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,038 I'll go with medium. And then you hit "brew." 115 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,159 - (MACHINE WHIRRING) - (SIGHS) 116 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,752 - (MACHINE BEEPS) - And it's done. (CHUCKLES) 117 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,910 Thank God. 118 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,191 And one Americano. For you. 119 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,074 All right. Cheers. 120 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,199 Tastes like shit. 121 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,794 Fucking waste of money. 122 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,397 Shit don't even voice activate. 123 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,314 - That was awkward. - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 124 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:19,479 "It takes courage to grow up and to become who you really are." 125 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,677 Right? E.E. Cummings wrote that. 126 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,991 And, guys, you're growing up. You're moving on. 127 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,631 For many of you, this is gonna be the last English class you're ever gonna take. 128 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,395 So, um, I want you to remember something. 129 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,200 Words are always going to matter. 130 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,359 - (STUDENTS SCOFF) - Right? What? 131 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,160 Uh-oh! Uh... 132 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,431 Something's funnier than it should be, right? 133 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,035 I'm missing the joke here. Is it me? 134 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,712 "Mr. Dick Suck's English class!" 135 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,912 Look, I'm down for the senior pranks, I really am, 136 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,276 but, frankly, I think this one's a little homophobic, right? 137 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,750 I mean, how does everybody think this makes Blake feel? 138 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,713 What's that supposed to mean? 139 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,115 Oh, uh... 140 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:02,470 - I'm sorry. It doesn't mean anything. - No, no. It means something. 141 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:03,995 Words matter, remember? 142 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,390 Right. Yeah, no. 143 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,155 I... I just meant because you're politically conscious 144 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,317 and you're sensitive. 145 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,358 I'm not sensitive. 146 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:13,840 - I'm gay. - (STUDENTS CHUCKLING) 147 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,353 And I wrote it and I drew the cat. (CLICKS TONGUE) 148 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,832 And now there's a cat. What is... 149 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,474 What is this? 150 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,040 Now I'm Mr. Cat? 151 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,671 Oh, I get it. I'm Mr. Pussy because I'm a nice guy. 152 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,600 I'm a pushover, right? All right, guys, come on. 153 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,594 I'm down for the pranks, but frankly we're getting... 154 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,874 And "Mr. Dick Suck's English class" again! 155 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,269 - In Sharpie! - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 156 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,550 - (ALL LAUGHING) - (MOUTHING) 157 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,351 And now I have Ms. Grossman peering through the window. 158 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,392 Uh, excuse me for one second. 159 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,994 - I'll be right back. - STUDENT 1: All right, Blake! 160 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,196 STUDENT 2: Yo, Blake turned a cat into a dick. 161 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,390 - Hey! - Hey. 162 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,550 - Hi. - Hey, how's it going? 163 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,313 Uh, what's going on? 164 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,040 I got some news for you about your job. 165 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,240 Oh, my God. What do you... What do you know? 166 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,995 Wolinsky and Henderson just got fired. 167 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,429 - Oh, my God! That's great! - Right? Yeah! 168 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,716 I mean, it's terrible because... 169 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:03,996 (LAUGHING) I know, 'cause they got families. 170 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,230 Yeah, they got the families and everything. 171 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,392 But they're not gonna fire the whole English department, right? 172 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,550 Exactly. That'd be crazy! 173 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,837 Holly, thank you! I gotta call my wife. That's fantastic. 174 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,309 (HORSE WHINNYING) 175 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,675 What the fuck was that? Where did they get a horse? 176 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,399 They stole it from the race track. 177 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,035 They got it all hopped up on homemade meth, you know, 178 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,998 so it'd be amped up enough to run through the hallways. 179 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,879 - Yeah. - It's not like the best batch, but... 180 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,554 I'm sorry... 181 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,912 - How do you know that? - How do I know what? 182 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,879 Holly, you're not doing meth again, right? 183 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,430 Yeah. Yeah, just a little bit. 184 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,434 - Don't do meth. - No more homemade meth. Got it. 185 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,795 No, no. No meth, period. 186 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,599 When I'm on my period, don't do it? 187 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:42,996 That's when I need it the most. 188 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,435 Holly, you're the guidance counselor. 189 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,432 - You've never done it? - Oh, God, no. No. 190 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,751 - Oh. Man, it's fucking great. - Yeah. 191 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,280 - Is it? - (LAUGHS) Yeah! 192 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,760 I think the best I've ever felt. 193 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:52,910 Holly, this stuff's gotta stop. 194 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,196 - Right. - Right? 195 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,510 Yeah, 'cause it's a gateway? 196 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,436 - It's the finish line. - There's worse stuff. 197 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,474 I don't think I can help you. All right, thanks. 198 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:01,670 I gotta call my wife. Thank you, Holly. 199 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,559 All right. I'll take care of your classroom. 200 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:04,995 Ooh, ooh, no, no, no! Don't do that. 201 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,640 - What's that? - They're fine. Yeah. 202 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,234 Some of them are fine. You know what I mean? 203 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,794 - They're good-looking. - Uh-oh. Yeah, no. 204 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,155 (STAMMERING) Leave 'em alone. 205 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,589 - Right? - Right. 206 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,750 - But thank you for the news. - Yeah. 207 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,235 - Thank you! - You're welcome. 208 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,550 Yo! Neil's gonna prank Strickland today. 209 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,712 Strickland might legit kill Neil, bro. 210 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,997 I know. It's gonna be epic! 211 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,799 Whoa! What's happening here? 212 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,992 You don't just come on my field mowing nothing. 213 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,196 So sorry, Coach. 214 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,033 Principal Tyler said we have to mow here. 215 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,357 - For real? - Yeah. 216 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,630 Wow. 217 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,838 Good for you. Good for you! 218 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,832 This is a gleaming example 219 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,469 of people doing positive things out here. 220 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,433 Y'all can hit the track. 221 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,077 Yvette, all of the rolling your eyes in the world ain't gonna get you nowhere. 222 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,514 And tell your mother she never text me back, damn it! 223 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,516 - MAGGIE: (OVER PHONE) Hello? - Hey! Honey, hi! How's it going? 224 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,672 How you feeling? Everything good? Everything okay? 225 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,833 Well, I feel like I'm about to explode, we're definitely gonna be late to school, 226 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,559 and I'm on my fourth hairdo for the talent show. 227 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,790 Ah. (CHUCKLES) 228 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,434 Did you have your meeting with the superintendent yet? 229 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,990 Not yet. But that's why I'm calling, actually. I wanna tell you that... 230 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,150 - ALLY: Dad... - Yeah? 231 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,198 I really want to change the song to Big Sean. 232 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,716 What? 233 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,435 She wants to change the song to a Big Sean song. 234 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,080 Daddy didn't learn a Big Sean song, right? 235 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,356 Daddy learned the song from Rent. 236 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,352 - We can do the same dance moves. - All right, look, Ally, 237 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,079 I know this dance is a big deal for you, okay? 238 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,197 And I'm not gonna let you down. 239 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,637 But it's way too late to change the song, sweetie. Okay? 240 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:29,830 - So, let me talk to Mommy... - Okay. 241 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,639 'Cause I got something really important I wanna tell her. 242 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:32,790 Did you get fired? 243 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,189 No, no, no! My job is safe. 244 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,800 Oh, honey, that is such great news. 245 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:36,996 Isn't that great? 246 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,072 I really cannot have you getting fired right now, okay? 247 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,873 - We can't have that right now... - (WILLIAM MOANS) 248 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,236 That would be no good. 249 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,800 WILLIAM: It's the hottest thing I've ever seen. 250 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,519 You know what, sweetie? I gotta call you back. 251 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,239 Some... Something weird is going on around here. 252 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:48,390 - Okay? - MAGGIE: Okay. 253 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,438 Yeah. Tell Ally I'll see her at 2:30. 254 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,716 Daddy says he'll see you at 2:30. 255 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:52,910 - MAGGIE: Bye, honey. - All right. Bye, love. 256 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,673 WILLIAM: How'd it do that? 257 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,155 Oh, I've literally never seen that before. 258 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,197 - Oh, yeah. You want more? - What the fuck? 259 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,074 What the hell are you doing? 260 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,040 Why did you open the door? 261 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,633 You don't get to ask the questions, okay? 262 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,154 Come on. Let's go. Get up! 263 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,310 God! 264 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,273 Really, I mean, you wanna do that at home? Fine. 265 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,398 - Are you starting again? - Yes. 266 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,438 Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! 267 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,590 Stop this! 268 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,319 Don't look at me and smile when you're doing it. 269 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,039 Just stop... Just stop doing it! 270 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,160 Bonjour, Ms. Monet. 271 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,391 Bonjour, messieurs. 272 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,791 Now get your asses back to class. 273 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,874 CAMPBELL: Stop! 274 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,872 The time for touching penises is over. 275 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,430 WILLIAM: Just let me get to the end! I'm so close. 276 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,398 CAMPBELL: How do you even still have a boner? 277 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,671 - Pull your pants back up. - What is going on here? 278 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,271 Oh, hey. That must have sounded pretty bad. 279 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,318 Uh, let me explain. He was just masturbating. 280 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:50,550 And he was just watching. 281 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:51,790 I wasn't watching. I caught you. 282 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,758 Just get out of here before I report you. 283 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,149 Right. Okay, let's go. Back to class. 284 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,953 But there's no reason to report me. 285 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,032 - Let's go. - Get back to class. 286 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,236 Yeah. And again, to be clear, 287 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,319 - I was not watching him. I caught him... - You're gross. 288 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,556 (SIGHS) Unbelievable. 289 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,473 Hey, light roast. 290 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,470 (STAMMERS) Hey. 291 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,313 Do you know how to fix an AV system? 292 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,470 Oh, uh... 293 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,195 Yeah. But I'm so sorry. I'm running late for my class. 294 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,430 Sorry about that. 295 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,630 Stop! 296 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,037 Don't you take another step. 297 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,430 One more step 298 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,239 and you'd have been covered in paint. 299 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,358 They've been putting 'em all over the place. 300 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,751 Holy crap. It's like a trip wire and... 301 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,674 Oh, my God. You just saved me, man. (CHUCKLES) 302 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,116 Why aren't they this ambitious with their classwork, huh? 303 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,320 All right. You know what? Yeah, I got a second. 304 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,834 Let's take a look at that AV. 305 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,879 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 306 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,791 So I'm trying to show the class this Civil War documentary. 307 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,275 Damn school wouldn't purchase my Ken Burns DVDs, 308 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,558 so I'm stuck with this bullshit knock-off VHS. 309 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,313 Ah, it's a bummer. 310 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,034 Now, look. I push it in, 311 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,475 it comes on... 312 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,869 NARRATOR: The troops called him Old Whittington. 313 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,872 It plays for a minute and then... 314 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,880 - Huh! Yeah, that's really weird. - (SNICKERING) 315 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,840 Eight times, I asked for a DVD player. 316 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,229 No response. 317 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,914 I'm this close to going up there 318 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,635 and going postal on the whole goddamn administration. 319 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,275 This close. 320 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,590 (CHUCKLES) 321 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,394 Yikes. Yeah. 322 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,237 Well, you know what? Maybe you just wanna give 'em 323 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,914 a free period and call it a day. 324 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,880 A free period? 325 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,200 What good would that do? 326 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,112 Oh, you know, it's the last day of school and I'm sure they'd like you for it, 327 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,033 and this isn't working, so... 328 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,273 I don't need to be liked. 329 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,630 I need to educate. 330 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,911 You see, half of these kids thought the Civil War 331 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,073 was a fight between Batman and Superman. 332 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,636 So, we don't get free periods. Ain't that right? 333 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,315 No free periods in Mr. Strickland's history class, right? 334 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,510 ALL: Right. 335 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,838 - Right? - Right. 336 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,040 Right. Good. Strong... 337 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,113 Strong point. I'll give it another look. Yeah, I mean if you wanna... 338 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,351 You're gonna have to take the manual out, because I think... 339 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,874 All right, I'm gonna start from the beginning. 340 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,952 First I'm gonna power on the... 341 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,598 - Was that you? - No. I thought that was you. 342 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,750 No, I didn't push the button. 343 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,149 - That was you. - No, that wasn't me. 344 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,118 - I'm not pushing the button yet. - (SNICKERING SOFTLY) 345 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,999 Are you sure you're not hitting it by accident, or... 346 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,276 STRICKLAND: No. 347 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:43,670 (SNICKERING) 348 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,592 You know what? I'm gonna go down to the next step. 349 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,514 Maybe I'll just power on the... 350 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,031 - NARRATOR: Farewell, you bastard. - A-ha! 351 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,479 I think I see what's going on here. 352 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,316 Mr. Strickland, you are the victim of a senior prank. 353 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,320 (CAMPBELL CLAPPING) 354 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,791 Very funny, you guys. Very, very funny. 355 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,516 I believe this young man is manipulating the television with his cell phone. 356 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,592 Kind of caught him out of the corner of my eye there. 357 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:09,836 He's doing this? 358 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,434 - Yeah. - You doing it? 359 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,229 Give it to me. 360 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,150 Now! 361 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,834 You think this is funny? 362 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,310 Messing with the TV with your goddamn computer telephone? 363 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,749 No, I'm not the one doing it. 364 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,799 I'mma show you what's funny. 365 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,709 Everybody, 366 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,840 I want you to hashtag L-M-F-A... 367 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,510 - O! - (STUDENTS GASP) 368 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,992 Now, there will be no more interruptions in my class. 369 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,190 None! 370 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,273 We're gonna watch this beautiful documentary 371 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,954 on the Civil War, 372 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,430 and it's not Tupac versus Biggie. 373 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,677 NARRATOR: He lost a leg at Gettysburg 374 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,758 and an arm at Chickamauga. 375 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,151 But his blood thirst remained unquenched. 376 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,079 Okay. Uh... 377 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,030 We got it going, so I'm gonna go back to class. 378 00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,350 Hey, man. Shut up. 379 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,319 I said no interruptions. 380 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,472 Be a fucking example for the kids, man. 381 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,878 NARRATOR: It was going to be a long winter. 382 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,160 He had to amputate his son's leg 383 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,239 with nothing but a bayonet and a box of matches. 384 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,635 Families were increasingly facing hard decisions. 385 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,676 (MOUTHING) What the fuck? 386 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,673 (MOUTHING) Do it. 387 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,154 (MOUTHING) No! 388 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,158 (GRUNTS) All right. Who did that? 389 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,555 Who did it? 390 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,437 Who did that? 391 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,310 Who did it? 392 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,639 It was you! It was you, wasn't it? Give me that phone! 393 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,315 I don't have one. You just broke mine, remember? 394 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,312 Okay. Okay. 395 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,592 God damn it. I'm tired of this shit. 396 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,069 (DOOR SLAMS) 397 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,750 Uh, I don't know what's happening. 398 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:18,910 - (ALL GASP) - Get out of here! 399 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,077 Oh, shit! Okay, I have the phone. I have the phone. 400 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:26,709 (GROWLING) 401 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,474 (YELLING) 402 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,192 (PANTING) 403 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,520 Remember, teachers stick together. 404 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:47,996 Yeah. 405 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:49,796 Okay. 406 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,390 (SIGHS) 407 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,196 I don't have time for this today. 408 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,633 I've got 30 termination meetings today alone. 409 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,996 Everything in my office is glued to something else. 410 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:23,833 I got drawers filled, filled with Silly String. You see that? 411 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,033 And I got a goddamn mariachi band following me around wherever I go! 412 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,999 (PLAYING MARIACHI MUSIC) 413 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,510 I offered them $100 and they still won't leave. 414 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,558 I think they thought it was a tip. 415 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,315 And now I've got 20 students 416 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,312 running out of a classroom in a panic. 417 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,190 Students telling me that Neil's desk has been smashed to pieces, 418 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,352 presumably by a fire ax, 419 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,394 and you're telling me that you haven't seen anything today? 420 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,269 Yeah. 421 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,951 How about you, Strickland? Huh? Nothing? 422 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,396 Like I said before, Tyler, 423 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,754 I was too busy working out that piece of shit VCR 424 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,400 that this school is still using. 425 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,916 I know you teachers all like to stick together. I get it. 426 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,799 But I'm having to fire whole departments. 427 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,629 That's hard on me, too. 428 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,277 Wait, whole departments? 429 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,557 Yeah. Entire departments. 430 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,913 Well, uh, I mean... 431 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,756 Maybe the best thing to do is talk to Neil? 432 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,920 Oh, I did. Yeah. Neil's not talkin' either. 433 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,070 So, then I went back to this. 434 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,630 I'm back to needing a straight answer from one of you two. 435 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,270 Right. 436 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,199 Let me bottom-line this for you. 437 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,198 Someone's going down for this. 438 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,073 I'm firing one of you two today. 439 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,115 Tell you what, how about we'll go one better. 440 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,313 How about I fire you both? 441 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,154 He did it. 442 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,076 You did it. 443 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,993 I mean, you did do it, so... 444 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,150 He did it. 445 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,432 That's what happened, was you... 446 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,120 'Cause he, you know, 447 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,790 chopped the desk. 448 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,713 Which you probably shouldn't have done. 449 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,917 Did you mean to do it? Was it an accident? 450 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,799 Or did you wanna say it was an accident? 451 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,110 You know what it was? 452 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,353 The technology is outdated on the VCRs. 453 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,550 That was a great point. Yeah. 454 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,116 And the kids were pushing him with the pranks. 455 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,800 They're out of control this year, sir. 456 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,189 I've never seen anything like it, really. 457 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:29,637 You know what, I think maybe you should take that all in consideration. 458 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,439 And maybe just, you know... 459 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,790 Don't fire him. 460 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,312 (MARIACHI BAND PLAYING) 461 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,757 I am so sorry he fired you. 462 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,153 That's such a shitty situation he put us in. 463 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,360 (STAMMERS) And, you know, I feel somewhat responsible, you know. 464 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,432 I mean, look. Hey, come 2:00 today, 465 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,155 I might not have a job either, but, uh... 466 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:55,070 You know, I got a baby due any minute, and I can't be losing my job, 467 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,516 so I hope you understand. 468 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,159 I'm gonna fight you. 469 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,070 I'm sorry, what? 470 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:10,356 I am going to fight you. 471 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,510 Are... 472 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,350 Are you joking? 473 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,878 Look, man, I was in a very tight spot there, you know. 474 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,952 Tyler really was pitting us against each other, and... 475 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,919 After school, you gonna meet me in the parking lot, 476 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,356 and we gonna handle this shit the primitive way. 477 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,156 With our fists. 478 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,875 You can't be serious. 479 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,991 I can't wait to fuck you up. 480 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,559 Whoa. Hey... 481 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,677 Hey, man, whoa. I... 482 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,878 (STAMMERING) Look, I'm very sorry you lost your job, 483 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,235 but you're talking crazy. 484 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,516 Right? Like... 485 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,435 You hear that that's a... 486 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,353 (CLEARS THROAT) I don't need this. This is... Mmm-mmm. 487 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,469 Campbell! 488 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,079 Parking lot. After school. 489 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,356 It's on. 490 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,756 (STAMMERING) Look, man, there's nothing 491 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,116 I could've done, you know? So... 492 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,717 I'm very sorry you lost your job, but this is over. 493 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,633 One man wins 494 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,557 when the other's unconscious. 495 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,760 Then, and only then, is it over. 496 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,395 You really wanna have a fist fight after school, 497 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,076 - like we're a couple of students? - I want everybody to see this. 498 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,475 (STAMMERING) Teachers don't fight. 499 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,757 We're gonna handle our differences like real men. 500 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:32,950 What differences? 501 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:37,120 You got a job and I don't! That's the fucking difference. 502 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,396 This is a bad joke. 503 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:39,994 Snitches get stitches. 504 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,437 Snitches and stitches, what the fuck you talking about? 505 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,592 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 506 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,599 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 507 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:49,709 I can't even be there! 508 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,951 I have a talent show thing with my daughter. 509 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,435 It's the last day of school. Can't we just let this thing go? 510 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:58,396 Strickland! 511 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,750 Strickland! 512 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,030 It takes courage, uh, to grow up 513 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,190 and, uh... 514 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,794 Make it the whole way. 515 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,630 E.E. Cummings said that. 516 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,840 And words are gonna matter for you guys. 517 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,072 Uh, um... 518 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,155 Yes, Nathaniel. 519 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,391 Is it true you're gonna fight Mr. Strickland? 520 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,278 Wait. You've heard about this? 521 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,840 What did you hear? 522 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:41,280 Hashtag teacher fight? What is this? You guys are tweeting about this now? 523 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,995 Why would you agree to fight Strickland? He could kill you. 524 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,674 Yeah, no, guys. I'm not gonna fight Mr. Strickland. 525 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,718 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) We had a misunderstanding, 526 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,678 and everything's gonna be just fine. 527 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,753 I'm... I'm sorry, though. Who else knows about this? 528 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,518 You guys hear Strickland is gonna fight Campbell? 529 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:57,716 Yeah, he's gonna whip him bad. 530 00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,553 (LAUGHS) Without a doubt. 531 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,194 What are you guys doing now? 532 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,109 We just chalking the field. 533 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,354 Well, your lines are a little off, but I appreciate the hard work, kids. 534 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,036 Let me tell you something. Kids your age sometimes can turn out to be douchebags, 535 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,714 but you guys come from good stock. 536 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:13,996 Good batch of kids. 537 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,356 Thank you, Coach. 538 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,796 Let's go! Everybody, on the track! 539 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,600 Clifford, stop doggin' it. I will fuck you up. 540 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,911 What are you doing, challenging Strickland to a fight? 541 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,549 I didn't challenge him to a fight. (STAMMERS) This is crazy. 542 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,120 Everybody's got a story about him. 543 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,073 Like what? What have you... What do you know about him? 544 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,270 He used to be in a... 545 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,358 Gang, right. And if anyone snitched, 546 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,716 he's the guy you had to answer to. 547 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,793 Please, man! 548 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,593 I didn't mean to do... Hey... 549 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,956 Hey, man, don't do it, man. Don't do it. (SCREAMS) 550 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,556 Saddam Hussein had these two fucked-up evil sons, 551 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,036 mass murderers. 552 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,590 During the Iraq War, Strickland killed them. 553 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,397 You're dead. You're dead. 554 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,400 Game's over, boys. 555 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,353 I'll save you some next time. 556 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,115 So I'm cleaning late at night, 557 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,990 and I walk in on him playing piano. 558 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,994 (PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC) 559 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,512 The dude's a virtuoso. 560 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,393 That doesn't seem too scary. 561 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,759 You didn't see his eyes. 562 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:28,636 He was a cop, 563 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,196 and whenever anyone got off on a technicality, 564 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,114 he would find them and beat the shit out of 'em. 565 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,279 - (GRUNTING) - (MAN GROANING) 566 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,270 (YELLS) 567 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,596 Oh, he's gonna fuckin' kill me. 568 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:45,796 Nah. 569 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:47,830 Yeah. 570 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,520 Kill for it! 571 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,074 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 572 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,110 CAMPBELL: Guys, this is crazy, right? 573 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,597 I mean, what kind of adult man challenges another adult man to a fight? 574 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:58,830 That's not a thing that happens anymore. 575 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:03,079 Okay. All right. Why don't you just take a punch and then just go down, you know? 576 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,119 Play dead like you're with a bear, or like possums do, 577 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,192 or anything that's like a... Like a pussy animal. 578 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,751 I don't wanna take a punch. I don't wanna be in a fight. 579 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,111 He's right. He can't be taking no punches. 580 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:15,270 - Right? - No. 581 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,590 You see those twins out there? 582 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,314 HOLLY: Oh, yeah. The hot ones? 583 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,477 The one on the left's been playing games with me all year. 584 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,716 Hey, hey! 585 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,435 Hey, Nathaniel. 586 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,389 Hey, what's up? 587 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,676 He wants to fuck me. He's just playing games. 588 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,230 Yeah. You know how that story ends, right? You've seen it on the news? 589 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,079 Oh, with the teachers who go for the students? 590 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,396 Getting arrested and going to jail for many... 591 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,550 Yeah. 592 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,080 The news always, like, leaves out the good part. 593 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,630 They never tell how the teacher does the seduction. 594 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,799 Right. Never mind. What's your point with the twins? 595 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,191 Watch this shit. Nathaniel! 596 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,672 Give your brother 85%. 597 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,750 CRAWFORD: Mmm. Mmm-hmm. 598 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,195 CAMPBELL: Oh, shit! 599 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,113 - Right on the Flintstone. - That was hot. 600 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,273 At 100%, it's a toss-up whether the other twin gets back up. 601 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,791 CAMPBELL: That's not good because Strickland's definitely gonna punch me at 100%. 602 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,839 Oh, no. He gonna punch you at 110%. 603 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,720 At which point you won't be playing dead. You will be dead. 604 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,794 All right. Well, 110% is not a real thing 'cause 100 is the max that you can go. 605 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,917 Can I get over here to elaborate with him? Thank you. 606 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,120 See, he's gonna be aiming for a target in the center of your skull, 607 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,358 which is gonna compound the energy as it connects, 608 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,000 which is gonna automatically scramble 609 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,396 all the gray and white matter in your brain 610 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:28,550 that controls logic, personality, social and sexual behavior. 611 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,029 So at 110%? 612 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,716 Oh, he most definitely is gonna knock all the sex out of you. 613 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,635 Ah, Jesus Christ. 614 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,912 Now, maybe you'll duck and he misses. 615 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,878 But that's a big-ass maybe. 616 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,872 Right, but if he does, I... I'll just run. 617 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,953 No. I never said nothing about no running. 618 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,793 Who's you? Seabiscuit? 619 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:51,750 That was a great talk. 620 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,479 Like, so super-helpful. 621 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,676 - Both of you, really. - Yeah. 622 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:55,910 Super-great. 623 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,833 I'm gonna figure this out some other way. 624 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,071 - Campbell, you know my style. - Yeah. 625 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,316 I drop it like it's hot, 626 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,676 and then sometimes I pick it up when it's cold. 627 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,480 - My man. - All right. 628 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,518 I didn't understand a word of that. I'll see ya. 629 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:29,880 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - MEHAR: No! 630 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,356 No! No! 631 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:34,430 - Dude, let's go! - Stop! 632 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,795 Not on my watch! 633 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,470 (TIRES SCREECH) 634 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,790 You guys are not allowed to leave campus. You need the proper paperwork to leave! 635 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,280 STUDENT: (LAUGHING) I make more money than you! 636 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,954 - Mehar! Hey. - Hey. 637 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:46,355 I need some help with something. 638 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,954 Mr. Strickland was fired today, 639 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,072 and I noticed that his car is still here. 640 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,632 Well, technically, he has until the end of school day to vacate school grounds. 641 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,473 This is embarrassing. He's challenged me to a fight. 642 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,836 So I'm in an unsafe situation here. 643 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,676 Oh, that sucks. He's gonna win. 644 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,594 - Flex. - I'm not gonna flex. 645 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,598 - Flex. - Fine. 646 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,673 - Flex. - I am flexing. 647 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:08,350 There's nothing there. 648 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:09,670 All right, look, come on. This is... 649 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,240 - This is the problem. - It is a problem. 650 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,278 Can you get him out of here or what? 651 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,314 Well, if it's going to occur after school, then it's not really my jurisdiction 652 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,513 because I'm the school security guard and not the world security guard. 653 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:20,670 Oh, come on, man... 654 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,877 I don't, like, try and stop terrorist attacks or... 655 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,394 I'm just asking you to do your job here. 656 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,997 You're asking me to do the job of security guard after 3:00, when I'm not... 657 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,157 So you're telling me that there's nothing you can do? 658 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,874 I could do CPR. 659 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,311 I could potentially revive you after he renders you unconscious. 660 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,949 But again, only if it's during school hours. 661 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:38,349 - Yeah. Okay. Look. - Yeah. 662 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:39,874 If it's after school hours, 663 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,033 you're just gonna lay there all night until 7:00 a.m., 664 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,600 when I'll come and save your life. 665 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,520 Shit. All right. 666 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,473 You cussed. I'm gonna write you up! 667 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,717 Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, 668 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,109 shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 669 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,710 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 670 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,509 MS. MONET: Ronald? 671 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,191 I heard you challenged Mr. Campbell to a fist fight. 672 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:00,390 Why? 673 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,597 A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. 674 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,479 Well, I disagree. 675 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,116 Why is that? 676 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,551 Your fist isn't going to solve the problem. 677 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,393 You need a knife. 678 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,718 This man is a pervert. 679 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,480 Simply punching him is not enough. 680 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,878 You need to cut him 681 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,079 from his forehead 682 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,230 all the way down to his chin. 683 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,276 Damn, lady. 684 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:37,509 I got this. 685 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:39,515 Very well. 686 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,029 That bitch crazy. 687 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,319 CAMPBELL: Okay, Neil, so I think if you talk to Principal Tyler 688 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,199 and just kind of reverse that story, 689 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,874 everything will get worked out. 690 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,517 So you want me to say I just made the whole thing up? 691 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,596 Yeah. 692 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:00,714 Why would I do that? 693 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,839 Well, because this is all your fault. 694 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,354 How? You're the one who tattled. 695 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,192 I was in a very compromising situation. You would've done the same exact thing. 696 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,875 I was in the exact same situation and did the opposite thing. 697 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,670 It's not the same exact situation, Neil, because you don't have a wife and kids, 698 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,394 so you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 699 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,234 Listen... I... (SIGHS) 700 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,473 Come on, man, you gotta help me out here. 701 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,474 Look, this has been a huge day for me, Mr. Campbell. 702 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,871 Do you know how many hits we've got on the newspaper website? 703 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,316 I mean, even kids who go to Churchill are reading about this. 704 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,949 This is what I'm trying to fucking avoid here, Neil. 705 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,515 People are going to get hurt. I'm going to get... 706 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:35,950 Neil, come on. 707 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,073 Buddy, let's do the right thing here. All right? 708 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:42,633 Okay. Fine. 709 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,080 MacBook Pro. 710 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,155 I'm sorry, what? 711 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,716 I'll do it for a MacBook Pro. 712 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,599 Are you trying to blackmail me? 713 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,513 Want me to lie for you or not? 714 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,680 Hey, buddy, let's get one thing straight. I'm still a teacher at this school, okay? 715 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:03,830 Are you? 716 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,912 Yes! I could get you in a lot of trouble, Neil. Okay? 717 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,515 How would you like it if I talked to your faculty advisor about this? 718 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,115 My faculty advisor's Mr. Strickland. 719 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:13,996 God damn it. 720 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:15,839 You know, with the AppleCare, too. 721 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:16,990 (LOUDLY) Yeah? 722 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,116 I'll see you later, Mr. Campbell. 723 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:23,270 Okay. 724 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:25,596 What a day. 725 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,273 (TIRES SCREECH) 726 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,070 (PANTING) 727 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,880 How can I help you? 728 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,072 One MacBook Pro, please. 729 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:46,516 Okay. 730 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,559 Okie-dokie. Got it. 731 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,040 Andy? 732 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:53,713 - Hey! (LAUGHS) - Hey! 733 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,713 - What? - I know! What are you... 734 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,360 (STAMMERS) What is this? 735 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,113 Why are you guys here? Why aren't you in school? 736 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,873 Oh, I pulled her from P.E. 737 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,594 We had to get a new outfit for the talent show. 738 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,672 Apparently the old one wasn't good enough. 739 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,718 But, honey, why are you here? 740 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,593 It's 11:30. Shouldn't you be in class? 741 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,075 Is it 11:30? 742 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,392 Yeah, usually I have class now, but I think... 743 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,438 Uh, yeah, I... 744 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:16,796 Wait. 745 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:18,640 Did you lose your job? 746 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,030 No. What? 747 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,674 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 748 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,911 I knew that you wouldn't stand up to these people. I just knew it. 749 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,196 - I knew it. - Wait, I'm sorry, what do you mean, 750 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,794 you knew I wouldn't stand up to them? 751 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:27,950 That came out wrong. 752 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,430 What I'm saying is that, you know, sometimes, you just let people push you around. 753 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:31,590 - I do? - It's... Yeah. 754 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:32,989 - It's just your thing. - I have a thing? 755 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,674 Well, yeah. You're... You're the nice guy, 756 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,196 and then people are like, "Hey, I'm gonna stomp on that guy." 757 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,238 You're spinning out, okay? Everything really is okay. 758 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,516 I don't know why you don't believe me. 759 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:41,750 Just 'cause you're acting kinda nervous and... 760 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,195 Well, you caught me off guard! 761 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:44,555 You're a little shifty, Daddy. 762 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,155 Why are you here, Andy? 763 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,551 Yeah, Daddy, why are you here? 764 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:51,834 (NERVOUSLY) Uh... 765 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,799 Buying your mom a computer. 766 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,193 Stop it right now. 767 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,430 Yeah, it was supposed to be a surprise... 768 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,160 What? Honey, this is a MacBook! 769 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:01,834 - Pro. - Pro? 770 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,992 - With AppleCare. - This is the most expensive one! 771 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,038 It's the most expensive one! 772 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,669 And you insisted on us getting the cheaper one not too long ago. 773 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,275 - I don't know what I was thinking! - I don't either. 774 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,472 Because technology's always changing. You gotta keep up. 775 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,075 Otherwise, you're one of those dumb families that doesn't have a MacBook Pro. 776 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:18,310 I ruined the surprise. 777 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,470 Now, let's talk about you. 778 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,838 Why are you changing the song and wanting to change your outfit? 779 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,480 MAGGIE: Tell your daddy. 780 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:25,994 Remember Trisha? 781 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,390 Yeah, sure. 782 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,597 She's been making fun of me all year. 783 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,675 And now she's saying it's lame I'm doing a dance from Rent with my dad. 784 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,716 That's not a lame thing. You know what? Look, Trisha's lame. 785 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,560 No, she's not. 786 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,592 She always wins the talent show. 787 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,316 Maybe you'll win the talent show. Right? 788 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,153 I've been practicing all the moves! 789 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,073 - MAGGIE: Oh! - You know what I mean? I got them down! 790 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,630 I'm not gonna let you down. Right? Okay? 791 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:51,950 And see, there's the smile I need! 792 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,112 - See, now you're happy and you're happy. - I am. 793 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:55,310 Let's get you back to school. 794 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:56,960 - Okay. Bye, Daddy. I love you. - I love you, too. 795 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,430 Everybody stop worrying and panicking, and get going. 796 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:00,670 - Come on, go! - Thank you! 797 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,912 A-get, get, get, get, get, get. (LAUGHS) 798 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:08,830 (PANTS) Hi. 799 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,196 Hey. Back so soon? 800 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,511 - Yeah, I'm gonna need another one. - Okay. 801 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,117 Oh, and do you mind spreading this one around a little bit? 802 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,270 Yeah. 803 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,316 Hey, man, did you hear about this teacher fight? 804 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,800 It's gonna be fuckin' awesome. 805 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,715 Fuck me. 806 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:30,633 HOLLY: Hey, what is that? Baby oil? 807 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,553 Hey, stop... Stop that. 808 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,070 Hey! 809 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:35,840 - (IRV GROANS) - (STUDENTS LAUGH) 810 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,713 Twenty-two years of this motherfucking high school! 811 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,556 So, uh, the truth is, I was mad at Mr. Strickland 812 00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:48,839 because he'd given me a bad, but fair grade 813 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,235 - on my last test. - Yeah. 814 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,074 And, you know, he never lashed out at me or anything like that. 815 00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:54,230 No. 816 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:58,110 And my desk broke because I was leaning on it. 817 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,875 You leaned on it, and then you blamed the teacher. 818 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,076 Unbelievable. 819 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:03,640 - Yeah. - Unbelievable. 820 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,952 And Mr. Strickland got in a lot of trouble because of you. 821 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:08,150 Whew! 822 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,116 You know this completely contradicts your statement, right, Campbell? 823 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,911 Look, we can get caught up in the whole statement game. 824 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,073 Who said what and what they meant by what they said, 825 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,749 and what words mean when people say them, 826 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,913 and, you know, who's making a statement and what the statement means, 827 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,716 and whose statement has something to do with something that someone else says. 828 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,678 And, see, statements get... 829 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,240 (STAMMERS) You know? And then... 830 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,119 You said he chopped it with a fucking ax. 831 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,794 Yeah, I know I said the chopping thing, didn't I? 832 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,400 Yeah. But you know what? 833 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,119 I was looking at the AV system, 834 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,919 and I heard the crash and, you know, I did... 835 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,720 You know how when you do one of these and you're like, "Oh, my God." 836 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,270 And then your hands are flying in front of your face, 837 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,955 and, like, that can look like chopping. 838 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,676 But you were right there. He had the best view 839 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:52,876 - of his own seat. - Yeah. 840 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:56,795 So, forget my statement 'cause I wasn't in the right... 841 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,440 - It was chaotic. - It was chaotic. Yeah. 842 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:03,311 And shame on you because we have been through an ordeal over all of this. 843 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,154 You should have come out and said that in the first place. 844 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:07,310 - So... - He's right. 845 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,637 Yeah, so there you have it. 846 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,075 All right, I guess if that's your statement, 847 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:21,469 we got no issue with Strickland. 848 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,280 I'll tell him he can keep his job for now. 849 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,159 Oh! (EXHALES) 850 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,671 Sir, thank you so much. That is fantastic news. 851 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,160 I wouldn't get too happy, Campbell. 852 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,280 Because you're still under review, and you put me through a lot of shit today. 853 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:35,516 Okay. Yeah, okay. 854 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:36,875 Now, here's my statement. 855 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,872 Get the fuck out of my office and don't come back today. 856 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,794 Okay, yeah. Let's get out of here on these terms. 857 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,474 Thank you again, for the... 858 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,393 Are you kidding me? 859 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:51,350 - Hey! - Hey. 860 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,432 Hi. Oh, my God. How you feeling? 861 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,398 Please tell me it's not a student. Is it a student? 862 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,789 No. I'm not actually pregnant. 863 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,312 No, I would never sleep with a student. 864 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,194 - Good. - Without protection. 865 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,198 By the way, did that twin say anything to you about me? 866 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,358 No. He doesn't talk to me about you at all. 867 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,556 - Yeah. - Okay. 868 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,717 You know why? He's dating a cheerleader. 869 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,000 (SIGHS) Games. 870 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,879 I think it's because you're 20 years older than him. 871 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,078 But in bed, it's like numbers don't matter. 872 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:19,640 Except for the number of pumps. 873 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,837 What? I'm sorry. You count pumps? 874 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,440 I like stats. 875 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:24,836 That's crazy. 876 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:27,038 Hmm. Isn't it weird, though? 877 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:28,959 - How, like, we're at work... - Yeah. 878 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:30,594 We're just, like, seeing these kids grow up 879 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,037 and then one day it's just like, bam, they're 18 and you can fuck 'em. 880 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:36,230 No. 881 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,676 - How that's just, like, a thing? - It's really not a thing. 882 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,036 Or how they're like, "Slow down! 883 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,190 "Don't run in the hallways." 884 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,238 - Yeah. - And then you're like, 885 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,239 - "Do you have a condom?" - Creeping on them and trying to... 886 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,756 I want that teenage dick, you know? I want that teenis. 887 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,559 Holly, why are you texting me that you're pregnant? 888 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:51,750 I... I gotta be in class. 889 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,357 Can you just wait one second? 'Cause it's all gonna make sense. 890 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,280 - What's going on? - Here we go. 891 00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,470 - Who raped you? - No, no, no. 892 00:38:58,640 --> 00:38:59,630 Campbell, did you rape this woman? 893 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:00,830 Whoa, whoa! What? 894 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,992 I 911 texted him. There's been no rape. 895 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,430 Thank you for your bravery. 896 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,590 Well, what's going on? 897 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,240 What the fuck is going on? That's a great question. 898 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:11,553 Okay, I'm sorry for misleading you both, but this is a mediation. 899 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,270 Said that like American Idol. 900 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,430 - A mediation? - Yeah. 901 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,273 No. Doesn't matter. Don't need it, okay? 902 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,479 Because I... I got you your job back. 903 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,954 You did what? 904 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,433 Yeah. I talked to Principal Tyler and we worked it out. 905 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,638 So, your job is safe, and... And we're all good here now. 906 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,390 You should've talked to me before you did that. 907 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:35,716 Oh. Uh... 908 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,077 Okay. Sorry about that. I didn't realize you felt that way, 909 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,038 but look, hey, consider it a nice surprise. 910 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,236 So, we're good. 911 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:42,760 You're such a little coward. 912 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:44,240 Yeah, you are a pussy. 913 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,796 You can't even ask a man a simple question. 914 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:48,716 (STAMMERS) Hey, I thought you'd be happy. 915 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:49,870 Ask the man a question. 916 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,030 Yeah, I could put it in question form. 917 00:39:51,240 --> 00:39:52,959 - Do you want your job back? - No! 918 00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,916 I'm done with this place, and I woulda told you that 919 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,351 if you weren't in my goddamn business again. 920 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,000 Let's watch out for gun fingers. 921 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,230 CAMPBELL: I'm confused on one thing here. 922 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:02,790 You don't want your job? 923 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:03,990 No. 924 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,839 Then why the fuck are you trying to pick a fight with me, man? 925 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,834 And why did I just spend thousands of dollars buying two MacBook Pros? 926 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,515 I don't know why you do half the shit you do, Campbell. 927 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,074 Okay, we're yelling too much! 928 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:18,515 We're yelling at each other too much. 929 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:19,670 Yeah. No shit! 930 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,672 It's not going well right now, you guys. 931 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,115 - It's not going well at all. - No. 932 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,273 This is why I'm here, okay? I'm a guidance counselor. 933 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,709 So use me! All right? 934 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,110 Let's take a seat. 935 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,676 - Are we walking towards the seats? - He doesn't want the... 936 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,071 Yeah, but if you don't want the job, what is the... 937 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,670 Kill the motherfucker today. I swear to God. 938 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,434 Okay, so right off the bat, 939 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,798 I'm noticing that Campbell, you're sitting at Israel. 940 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,397 And Strickland, you've chosen Iran. 941 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,957 Okay, I'm wondering if that's maybe sending a hostile message. 942 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,351 You know, if we can get you to an ally country, you know, 943 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,877 Italy or Spain or France. 944 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,269 North Korea. 945 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,833 That's a choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 946 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,198 Campbell, do you wanna find an ally? 947 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:02,589 Holly, I'm gonna move past this. 948 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,640 Okay? Look... I'm sorry you don't want your job back, but I did my part. 949 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,154 I made things right, okay? 950 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,880 - So, the fight is off. - (SCOFFS) 951 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,590 Okay, Campbell feels that the fight should be off. 952 00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:13,796 Strickland, how do you feel? 953 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,350 - No, the fight is still on. - Strickland feels the fight is still on. 954 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,034 Yeah, no shit! I can hear the man speaking. 955 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:19,879 - All right. - Look, why? 956 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,870 Because actions have consequences, 957 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,800 and everybody around here seem to forget about that. 958 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,438 These students, they shit on this school all day 959 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,797 and don't nobody do nothing. 960 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,558 Little kids, they come in last place, 961 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,514 and pussies like you, you wanna give 'em a trophy. 962 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:41,239 I say fuck a trophy. 963 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,756 Nobody's being held accountable anymore. 964 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,593 So, I'mma hold you accountable. 965 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:51,594 Yeah, you ratted on me. Now you got to pay the price. 966 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,358 I'mma kick yo' ass at the end of the day in front of everybody. 967 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,439 And you can consider this my final lesson. 968 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,877 Yeah, you guys should fucking fight. 969 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,997 This is crazy, you know? 970 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,039 Do you hear yourself? I mean, you've become unhinged! 971 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,714 Maybe. 972 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:18,553 But let me tell you something. 973 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,630 You don't show up to that fight this afternoon, 974 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,076 an unhinged man might wanna do something real nasty to you. 975 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:27,959 An unhinged man might show up 976 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,680 at your house with a year's supply of duct tape. 977 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,479 Pop out the bushes. 978 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,916 Gut your ass like a fish. 979 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,639 I could take my revenge anytime, anywhere. 980 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,200 (BANGS TABLE) 981 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,633 See you after school. 982 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:49,994 Booty kick! 983 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,395 (SIGHS) 984 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:56,876 OPERATOR: Nine-one-one. What's your emergency? 985 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:58,918 Yes, hi. There's a crazy guy at my high school. 986 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,070 He's trying to beat me up. 987 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,879 Nine-one-one is for emergencies only. 988 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,549 If you have a problem with a bully, I need you to speak to a teacher. 989 00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:06,791 No... I am a teacher. 990 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:08,670 Excuse me? 991 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,752 It's actually another teacher who's gonna beat me up after school, 992 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,149 - so that's why I'm calling. - I'm sorry, 993 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,113 can you repeat what you just told me? 994 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,356 Okay. 995 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,797 My name is Andrew Campbell. I'm a teacher at Roosevelt High School. 996 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,314 There's another teacher here 997 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,676 who wants to have a fist fight with me after school. 998 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,513 So, I need help. 999 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:28,999 (ALL LAUGHING) 1000 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,639 Oh, very funny! Assault is a real thing. 1001 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,834 I would like you to stop laughing and listen to my... 1002 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,356 You're a grown man. Now go on and take that ass-whoopin'. 1003 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,113 - I'm asking you for help and... - (LINE DISCONNECTS) 1004 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,112 Fuck! 1005 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,280 (CHUCKLING) 1006 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,233 It takes courage... 1007 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,399 To become... 1008 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,236 People when you're older. 1009 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,319 And words are... 1010 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,953 Use... Useless. 1011 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,589 Apparently. 1012 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:18,870 Uh... 1013 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,591 Guys, you know, look, you try to be a nice guy, right? 1014 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,759 And treat everyone with respect, but you don't get it. 1015 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,070 You don't get it back in return. 1016 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:30,755 You know why? 'Cause nice guys, they finish last. 1017 00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:31,910 Yeah. 1018 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,118 Everything is fucked up. This is a fucked up school, 1019 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,000 filled with lunatic teachers! 1020 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,477 Your teachers are fucking nuts! 1021 00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,074 Man, this is fucked up. 1022 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:44,316 He's having a breakdown. 1023 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,670 - We can't prank him. - Shh! 1024 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:49,470 And you're gonna say, "Hey, I'm a nice guy. I'm doing okay." 1025 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,474 And the world is gonna unzip its pants, pull them down, 1026 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,758 and take a giant fucking shit all over you guys. 1027 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,954 I just can't win, guys! 1028 00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,315 I cannot win. 1029 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:00,630 Why is there rope around my feet? 1030 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:02,994 - (GROANS) - (STUDENTS EXCLAIM) 1031 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:04,880 (SCREAMING) 1032 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,114 (HORSE NEIGHING) 1033 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,917 Motherfucking little motherfucking sons of bitches! 1034 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,160 This ain't right. 1035 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,471 Playing pranks used to be fun. 1036 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,871 This shit is getting violent. 1037 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,430 I look like a fucking minion! 1038 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,478 Holy cow! They got both of you, huh? 1039 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,676 Man, I gotta get pranked. 1040 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:27,830 All right, you know what? 1041 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,719 I'm fucking done with this shit. 1042 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,633 Yeah. I really am. 1043 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,190 No more Mr. Nice Guy, right? 1044 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,751 No more playing by the rules like a stupid little bitch, 1045 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,992 who didn't realize everyone else in the school threw the rulebook out years ago. 1046 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,390 All right? 1047 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,995 Strickland wants to fuck with me, and the kids want to fuck with me. 1048 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,594 Everyone wants to fuck with me. Guess what though? 1049 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,154 Campbell's gonna fuck right back. 1050 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:49,515 Yeah, let's get laid. 1051 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,554 I'm trying to... 1052 00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,677 I'm trying to explain that I'm gonna... 1053 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,240 Holly, shut up! 1054 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,513 Shut the fuck up! You're always... 1055 00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,030 (GRUNTS) 1056 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:02,389 I'm sorry. 1057 00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:04,790 I lashed out. 1058 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:06,355 This has not been a good day. 1059 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:07,989 So here's what I'm gonna do. 1060 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,397 I'm gonna frame Strickland for a crime he didn't commit. 1061 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,791 Wait. What? You're gonna do what? 1062 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:15,673 Something occurred to me as I was getting dragged down 1063 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,433 a flight of stairs by a horse on meth. 1064 00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,034 I get some meth, right? I stick it in his classroom or some shit. 1065 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,476 I tip off the cops, they show up, 1066 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,040 and then boom! They arrest him. 1067 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,520 And I'm not gonna be in a fight today. 1068 00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,518 Hey! Maybe I won't be in a fight ever 1069 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,632 'cause I don't know what kinda past record this guy has. 1070 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,918 Yes. Yes, I fucking love this plan. Let's do it! Yes! 1071 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,072 Okay. Right? See? Good! Holly's with me. 1072 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,920 I wouldn't tangle with no police. I'm from the streets. 1073 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,231 You do not go to no cops, okay? 1074 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:45,593 You might have to just man up and throw down with this dude. 1075 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,390 Come on, Coach. I can't fight him. You said it yourself. 1076 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:49,960 I don't know, Campbell. 1077 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,550 I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. 1078 00:46:52,720 --> 00:46:56,111 You're so pissed off right now, you might even win. 1079 00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,712 You really think I could win? 1080 00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,320 Tell you something. 1081 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,073 All it takes is one punch. 1082 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:04,630 All right. I just... I just don't know the first thing about fighting. 1083 00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,040 - Make a fist. - (SIGHS) 1084 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,198 - Come on! Make a fist! - Okay. Okay. Okay. 1085 00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:15,955 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 1086 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:17,713 This the fucking 1700s? 1087 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,280 I don't know! I... 1088 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:20,470 Get your fists up. 1089 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,593 Protect yourself before you get punched in the head! 1090 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,200 All right. Like how? Show me how! 1091 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:26,716 (SCREAMS) 1092 00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:28,070 - Fuck! - What? 1093 00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:29,270 CAMPBELL: What the fuck was that? 1094 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,079 Was that too hard? 'Cause it felt awesome. 1095 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:32,919 Punched me right in my fucking ear. 1096 00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,794 - Ah! Shit! Why did you do that? - 'Cause you said, "Like how?" 1097 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,394 When he was talking about getting hit in the head. 1098 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:38,880 I meant, "Like how do I make a fist?" 1099 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:40,833 Not, "Like how do I get punched in the fucking head?" 1100 00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:42,110 - Oh, Jesus Christ! - Got it. 1101 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,590 That makes sense. I wasn't listening to the conversation. 1102 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,831 - Yeah! No shit! - I kind of zoned out. I was bored. 1103 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,992 God damn it. Well, obviously I can't fight this guy. 1104 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:50,150 No. 1105 00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:51,870 So, back to the meth idea? 1106 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,918 - Yeah, I think that's a good idea. - Best shot you got. 1107 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:55,434 - That's all I got, right? - HOLLY: Yeah. 1108 00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,359 Okay, so, Holly, give me some meth. 1109 00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,590 Me? Yeah, no. I don't have drugs. 1110 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:01,870 I thought you said you did. 1111 00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:03,793 No, I don't do drugs at school. 1112 00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,236 I do them before I come to school. 1113 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,000 Shit. All right. Well, where am I gonna get drugs? 1114 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:14,159 Campbell, this is a public high school in the United States of America. 1115 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,358 There literally could not be a better place to buy drugs. 1116 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,315 CAMPBELL: (ON VIDEO) Yes, hi. There's a crazy guy 1117 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:23,994 - at my high school. - Hey. I need your help. 1118 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,755 - What's up? - Nine-one-one is for emergencies only. 1119 00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:28,872 - What the fuck is this? - It's my new MacBook Pro. 1120 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:30,315 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) My name is Andrew Campbell. 1121 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,709 Andrew Campbell. Andrew Campbell. 1122 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:33,109 Is that my 911 call? 1123 00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,317 This kid in Taiwan made a YouTube video about it. 1124 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:36,630 It's so awesome! 1125 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,120 How the fuck did it get to Taiwan? 1126 00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,676 - (CRYING LIKE A BABY) - Well, I don't sound like... 1127 00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,160 How many hits has it got? 1128 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,073 - Now go and take that ass-whooping. - CAMPBELL: Jesus Christ! 1129 00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:46,038 All right, look. Listen to me. Listen to me. 1130 00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,073 I need you to sell me some drugs, okay? 1131 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,000 Sorry, I don't know anything about that. 1132 00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,231 Cut the shit, all right? Holly told me that you deal. 1133 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,710 So, let's just... You can deal with me. 1134 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,554 (STAMMERS) We'll do a drug deal. 1135 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,150 iPhone. 1136 00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:07,196 I'm sorry, what? 1137 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,791 Look, maybe I deal, maybe I don't. 1138 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:12,714 I'll tell you for a new iPhone. 1139 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:14,349 Listen, to me you little fucking shit. 1140 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,234 I will take that iPhone, I will shove it right up your fucking ass, okay? 1141 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:18,993 - Stop... (LAUGHS) - (RUSTLING) 1142 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,032 - Chill, dude. - Yeah, yeah. You chill. 1143 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,190 Okay. Look, look, look. 1144 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,352 Be a good boy. Sell me some drugs. 1145 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,994 Okay. Just relax. 1146 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:27,870 What do you want? 1147 00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:29,356 I don't know. Give me some... 1148 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:31,273 Give me some meth or something. 1149 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:32,994 Well, I just sell molly. 1150 00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,997 Then why are you asking me what do I want, Neil? 1151 00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:38,190 I don't know. 1152 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,750 Okay, Neil. Sell me an eighth of Molly or whatever it is. 1153 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,718 (LAUGHS) Do you even know what molly is? 1154 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,758 I will rip your head off of your neck. 1155 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:48,110 I will shit down your throat, okay? 1156 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,275 That... That's where I am right now. 1157 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:51,920 I'm a broken man, Neil. 1158 00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:53,550 Hmm. Okay? 1159 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,240 - Okay, man. - Yeah? Okay? 1160 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:00,280 Right here? Just like this? Jesus Christ. 1161 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,432 All right, give it to me. All right. 1162 00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:04,350 Give me the money. 1163 00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:07,120 Fuck you. 1164 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:29,594 (STRAINING) 1165 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,636 Hello. 1166 00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:37,995 (IMITATES KNIFE CUTS) 1167 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:43,350 (GRUNTS) 1168 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:46,950 Yikes. 1169 00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,189 (STRAINING) 1170 00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,156 What the fuck is this? 1171 00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:01,790 It's my goddamn car! 1172 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,600 Oh, shit! Fuck me. God damn! 1173 00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:08,190 Why are you kicking it? 1174 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,158 I can't... I can't believe what they did to your car! 1175 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,073 - Fucking monsters. - Yeah. Fucking animals. 1176 00:51:12,240 --> 00:51:15,153 - Fucking animals. - Yeah, little... Little... Little animals! 1177 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,557 Right. Listen. Since I ran into you, 1178 00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,912 I have to tell you, we moved your interview back to 2:15. 1179 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,318 I actually have to go to my daughter's elementary school 1180 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,360 to do a talent show dance thing with her by 2:30. 1181 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:32,029 So you want me to accommodate the fact that you're gonna 1182 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:35,637 skip out of campus in the middle of the fucking day. 1183 00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,117 Good point. Sorry, sir. Yeah. 1184 00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:39,754 (STAMMERS) I'll make it work. 1185 00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:41,832 Good. And could you take your foot off my car? 1186 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,231 Yeah, right. So, I'll be there for the appointment. 1187 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:45,390 I'll keep my foot on the car. 1188 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,550 No. Move your foot off my car. 1189 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:47,870 Can't do it. 1190 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:49,070 Get your foot off my fucking car! 1191 00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,351 If I take my foot off, then the kids win, sir! 1192 00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:52,556 The kids don't give two shits. 1193 00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:53,756 Get your foot off my fucking car. 1194 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:55,110 My car's already fucked up! 1195 00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:56,839 But we have to put our foot down on the car, sir. 1196 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:57,990 - Off my car! - Okay, okay! 1197 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,277 What the fuck! Get your God damn foot off my car! 1198 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,318 Yes, sir. The foot's coming off right now. 1199 00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:03,880 But before it comes off, 1200 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,790 let me just explain myself here. 1201 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:09,873 MALE STUDENT 1: (ON PA) A very important announcement. 1202 00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:13,400 If anyone finds a two-inch penis, please return it to Principal Tyler. 1203 00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:14,670 MALE STUDENT 2: It's his. 1204 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:16,917 You gotta be fucking shitting me. 1205 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,037 MALE STUDENT 1: Stay tuned for more announcements. 1206 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,999 (PLAYING MARIACHI MUSIC) 1207 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:25,675 Will you guys shut the fuck up? 1208 00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:42,914 Here we go. 1209 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,558 All right. Police are in Strickland's classroom with Mehar. 1210 00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:49,999 But that dog ain't finding shit. 1211 00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,595 - What? - You sure that kid really sold you meth? 1212 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,240 Well, no. It wasn't meth. It was molly. 1213 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,999 - Molly? - Yeah. Why? What? 1214 00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:57,913 Dogs can't smell molly. What did you do? 1215 00:52:58,080 --> 00:52:59,070 What do you mean, what did I do? 1216 00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:00,555 I didn't know they can't smell molly. Why not? 1217 00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:04,790 Campbell, you have to train a dog to smell specific drugs, okay? 1218 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:06,030 How do you think this thing works? 1219 00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,317 I don't know how it works. I thought you guys knew how it worked. 1220 00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:09,510 We do. 1221 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,194 Well, if you do, you should have told me. What the... 1222 00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,113 - Oh, snap! - HOLLY: What? 1223 00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,112 CRAWFORD: Cops are leaving the classroom. 1224 00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,953 - This is over. - It's over? 1225 00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:18,156 Campbell, I'm from the streets. 1226 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,437 Trust me when I tell you it's over. 1227 00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:22,956 Oh, shit! God damn it. Fucking damn it! 1228 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,520 Okay. You know what? You have to relax. 1229 00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:26,632 I got something for you. Take a hit of this. 1230 00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:28,115 Yeah. Yeah. 1231 00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,269 What the fuck is that? I thought you said you didn't have drugs! 1232 00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,272 I don't. I have weed. 1233 00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,069 Jesus! Fuck! Give... 1234 00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,194 (GRUNTING) 1235 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,158 STRICKLAND: Nice landing, dick wad. 1236 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,156 You tried to plant drugs on me, didn't you? 1237 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,317 That's why that dog was here. 1238 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,836 But they couldn't smell those drugs, could they? 1239 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:04,880 (CHUCKLES) 1240 00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:06,720 You fucked up, Campbell. 1241 00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:09,194 I'm in your head. 1242 00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,911 I know what you gonna do before you even do it. 1243 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:13,639 Back off. Back off. 1244 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,598 All your hard work, 1245 00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,150 sneaking around lying and shit. 1246 00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,875 Now it's just you and me. 1247 00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:23,716 Don't come closer. 1248 00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:25,030 What you think? They're gonna come in here 1249 00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:28,039 if you light that little toothpick pencil joint? 1250 00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:29,435 You wanna find out? 1251 00:54:30,720 --> 00:54:32,518 Hey! Don't do it. 1252 00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:34,156 You be a man. 1253 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,033 I refuse! 1254 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,034 You know, first I was just gonna punch you a whole lot, Campbell. 1255 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,159 Now, I think I'm gonna break every bone in your body. 1256 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:45,270 Help! (COUGHING) 1257 00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:46,760 Help! Police! 1258 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:47,910 What the fuck are you doing, man? 1259 00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,713 Get away from that God damn door. 1260 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,192 You know what? I should kill your ass. 1261 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:54,995 Okay, guys. 1262 00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:56,913 What seems to be the trouble here? 1263 00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:58,914 Strickland was smoking marijuana. 1264 00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:01,396 And he has molly in his bag. 1265 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:02,550 And who are you? 1266 00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:04,319 I'll straighten this out for everyone. 1267 00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:06,551 Mr. Andy Campbell, English teacher. 1268 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:09,076 Probably a nice guy, but a bit of a worm and a sneak. 1269 00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:11,875 Mr. Strickland, reputation of a hot-head. 1270 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,077 Scary, yet effective with the students. 1271 00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,073 Do I trust either of them? 1272 00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:17,674 Absolutely not. 1273 00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:19,230 All right, we got this. 1274 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,794 Yeah, we got this. 1275 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,229 You stay out this shit, Mehar. 1276 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,596 Technically, this is occurring during school hours, 1277 00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:26,553 so I cannot stay out this S-word. 1278 00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:29,559 There is contraband in here. Who does this belong to? 1279 00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,070 Him. The drugs are in his bag. 1280 00:55:32,240 --> 00:55:34,357 This man is obviously the drug addict. 1281 00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:36,233 Look at his eyes. They burgundy red. 1282 00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:38,073 Let the record reflect his eyes are red. 1283 00:55:38,240 --> 00:55:40,357 I mean, it's very dry in the room. 1284 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:41,954 It's not that dry. 1285 00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:43,873 It is wet with lies. 1286 00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:45,719 He's holding an ax! 1287 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:46,916 This is true as well. 1288 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:49,072 Mr. Strickland is brandishing a weapon. 1289 00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:51,156 (AX CLATTERS) 1290 00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:52,590 We all saw that. 1291 00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,355 Am I the only one here who sees what's going on? Hello! 1292 00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:56,510 Hello. 1293 00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:58,837 Not hello you. Hello, we're in his classroom! 1294 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:00,235 Hello, there are drugs in his bag! 1295 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,040 Hello, this man is obviously the culprit here. 1296 00:56:03,240 --> 00:56:04,913 I just said "hello" back. He said "hello," I said "hello." 1297 00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:07,072 Let's move past that. Just arrest... Arrest the guy. 1298 00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,192 Campbell, you've had your say. 1299 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,956 Mr. Strickland, care to respond? 1300 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,954 Fuck the police. 1301 00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:18,870 (BOTH GRUNT) 1302 00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,639 Nice plan, asshole. 1303 00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:23,480 (SIREN WAILING) 1304 00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,756 Ally, hey! Sweetie, listen, 1305 00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:32,910 something's come up 1306 00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:36,790 at uh, work and... 1307 00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:42,238 (SIGHS) I'm not gonna be able to make it to the talent show. 1308 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,070 Daddy, you promised you would make it. 1309 00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:46,594 You promised me. 1310 00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:47,876 I know. 1311 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,711 Sometimes, adults' lives are complicated, 1312 00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:53,758 you know, funny things you can't predict. 1313 00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:55,991 I can't believe you're not gonna come. 1314 00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,717 I'm gonna look like such an idiot. 1315 00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:00,713 Trisha's gonna ruin me. 1316 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:01,996 Forget about that girl. 1317 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,720 I mean, she sounds like a big bully to me. 1318 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,111 And believe me, I know what that's like. 1319 00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:09,150 Hello? 1320 00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,115 (CAMPBELL EXHALES) 1321 00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:21,918 Unbelievable. 1322 00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:25,274 Unbelievable. 1323 00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,195 Yeah, that's what it is, you know. 1324 00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:30,030 You know what I told my wife today? 1325 00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,874 I said, "Hey, honey, everything's gonna be okay." 1326 00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,351 Yeah. And that was a big fat lie, wasn't it? 1327 00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,035 I mean, I'm definitely not gonna make the meeting, so I'll lose my job, 1328 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:41,873 and I've let my daughter down, 1329 00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,829 and now I'm probably gonna be in prison when my child is born. So... 1330 00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,520 Yo, who fault is that? 1331 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,719 No, that's a good question. Whose fault is it? 1332 00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,349 It's your fucking fault. Are you fucking kidding me? 1333 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:55,715 Yeah, because you know what I don't do? 1334 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,031 I don't swing axes at the students. 1335 00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,153 Yeah, that's a little bit of a step too far, I think. 1336 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,477 But not for you. No. You know why? 1337 00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,279 Because you're a fucking maniac. 1338 00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,399 "Whose fault is it?" God damn it! 1339 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:09,555 Fucking crazy. 1340 00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:36,439 What's up, man? How are you doing? 1341 00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,195 Yeah, getting locked up. It's fucking... 1342 00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:41,272 This is some BS, right? Shit. 1343 00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,671 I... I don't mean to, you know, interrupt your 1344 00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:49,516 seething or whatever it is you're doing over here, 1345 00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:54,118 but I just got in a little argument with my friend 1346 00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:58,036 and he starts talking some serious shit about you. 1347 00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,000 And he's goin' on and on, 1348 00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:03,198 and he's calling you a bitch, and a big fat pussy, 1349 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,955 and a little fucking pussy bitch, 1350 00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:07,679 and he says that you're his bitch. 1351 00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,115 - What? - Yeah. 1352 00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,476 I couldn't believe it. He just keeps going on and on and on 1353 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,790 that he wants to fight you. 1354 00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,431 I'm like, "This guy? There's no way! No way!" 1355 00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:17,630 - Him? - Well, don't point. 1356 00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:18,790 Yeah, don't point. 1357 00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,754 What, it's your first time getting locked up, man? 1358 00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,152 Come on. Yeah. But, yeah, him. Yeah. 1359 00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,310 If he wants to fight me, I'm right here. 1360 00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:30,150 Yeah. 1361 00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,236 Yeah, you're here. He's there. 1362 00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:34,675 You could just go over there. 1363 00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:36,840 And I'd stay here 1364 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,639 if you're worried about losing your seat. 1365 00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,031 I can see that that's not it. Okay. I tell you what. 1366 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:47,274 I'll go over there, and if he nods like this 1367 00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,512 that means he wants to fight you now. 1368 00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,673 But again, man, he's not gonna come here 1369 00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,675 because he thinks you're a big fat bitch. 1370 00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,115 Again, these are his words, they're not mine. 1371 00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,357 So just look for that nod and know that he's calling you 1372 01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:01,556 the biggest bitch on the planet. 1373 01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:02,995 Okay. I gotta go. 1374 01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:11,353 Okay, so you still wanna fight? 1375 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,153 Forget it. 1376 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:21,876 What? 1377 01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:24,830 Maybe I went a little overboard earlier. 1378 01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:28,198 But at least I did something. 1379 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:30,909 Fight's off. 1380 01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,074 Wait. What? Why? 1381 01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:35,877 First, I was just pissed off at you. 1382 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:39,039 Wanted to wring your little neck. 1383 01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:41,918 - Yeah. - But then I start thinking. 1384 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,240 What if the school saw 1385 01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,960 how they pitted two teachers against each other? 1386 01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,556 Maybe the fight'll make a difference and something would change. 1387 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,397 But you won't even man up and fight. 1388 01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:55,990 So, forget it. 1389 01:00:56,720 --> 01:01:00,111 Fight's off. You can go take a free period now. 1390 01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:03,549 That's... 1391 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:07,072 That's the best news I've heard all day. That's great. 1392 01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:08,833 Yeah! I'll take that free period. 1393 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,832 Awesome, man. So, the fight's off? 1394 01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:12,749 That's great! 1395 01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:15,915 You nodding at me? Fuck you! 1396 01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,117 No, no, no! Sorry, sir. That nod was not for you. 1397 01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:19,640 You can sit back down. 1398 01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,200 You wanna fight me, bitch? 1399 01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:23,040 What'd you say to me? 1400 01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,436 No, no, no! He doesn't wanna fight you anymore. 1401 01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:26,750 - Yeah, no. Go back. - Anymore? 1402 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:29,515 At all! Yeah, no. Guys, there's no fights today. 1403 01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:30,716 Didn't you hear? Great news! 1404 01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:32,633 Man, stand up, bitch. What you got? 1405 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,120 Oh, no! 1406 01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:35,310 Oh. 1407 01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:37,430 Oh. 1408 01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:39,960 I got a whole lot! 1409 01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:41,110 I got stuff, too. 1410 01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,873 But I'm not fighting, you know? 1411 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,475 Guys, guys, this has just been a misunderstanding. 1412 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,193 - (GRUNTS) - (SHRIEKS) 1413 01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,399 - Yeah. - All right. 1414 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:53,800 (SHRIEKING) 1415 01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,353 Go to sleep. 1416 01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,632 Go to sleep. 1417 01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:02,917 Nighty-night. Nighty-night. 1418 01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:06,713 You sic this man on me, Campbell? 1419 01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:10,680 That was a mistake. Yeah. That... 1420 01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:13,474 I changed my mind. 1421 01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:15,554 Okay. Calm down. 1422 01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:17,719 The fight is back on. 1423 01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:19,957 Come on, man. You might have done the same thing in my position. 1424 01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:22,635 This time I'm gonna kill your ass. 1425 01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,514 Just take it easy. Take a deep breath, okay? 1426 01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:27,439 Hey! You two. 1427 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,239 The molly you tried to pin on each other 1428 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:30,880 is aspirin. Come on. 1429 01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,596 Aspirin. That little fucker tried to rip me off! 1430 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,559 Wait a sec. What time is it? What time is it? 1431 01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:37,110 I still got time! 1432 01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:38,994 I still have time to make everything! 1433 01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,676 Hey, Campbell! I'll see you at 3:00. 1434 01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:58,030 Hey! 1435 01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,429 It's a bloodbath in there. 1436 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,754 Holly, Ms. Monet... We all got fired. 1437 01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:04,360 No! You, too? 1438 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,356 These damn jeans didn't impress anybody. 1439 01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:09,599 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, Crawford. 1440 01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,392 Hey, Suzie. I'm here. Are they ready for me? 1441 01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:15,590 They said they need just a minute. 1442 01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:16,796 Okay, you sure it's just gonna be a minute? 1443 01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,633 Because I'm trying to get to my daughter's talent show. 1444 01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,200 Oh, it's just gonna be a minute. 1445 01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:21,959 - Suzie, I don't have a minute. - Sixty seconds. 1446 01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:23,875 (SIGHS) 1447 01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,391 Shit! Okay. 1448 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:29,954 Okay. 1449 01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,039 - (CLOCK TICKING) - (SIGHS) 1450 01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:42,956 What the fuck is going on in there? 1451 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:48,230 Just one more minute. 1452 01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:50,915 Respectfully, Suzie, fuck this, okay? I'm going in. 1453 01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:52,230 - No, Andy. - I'm going in! 1454 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:54,119 Why do you think they haven't called for you? Andy! 1455 01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:55,873 - (LAUGHING) - Hey, hi! I'm sorry, what's going on? 1456 01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:57,235 I was supposed to start at 2:15. 1457 01:03:57,760 --> 01:03:59,513 Oh! Uh, uh... 1458 01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:04,118 Superintendent Johnson and I were just talking about his fishing trip to Alaska. 1459 01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:06,359 I caught a halibut. 1460 01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:10,637 You... You caught a halibut. Well, congratulations, sir. 1461 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,473 I... I'm sitting out there and missing my daughter's... 1462 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:13,630 (SIGHS) You know what? 1463 01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:16,360 I don't wanna cause trouble. Could I just make my teacher's statement now? 1464 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:17,670 Is that all right? 1465 01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,275 Well, actually, that won't be necessary. 1466 01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:23,673 - Why? - Turns out we've reached our limit 1467 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,837 on how many experienced teachers we can let go 1468 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:27,878 and still be in compliance with state policy. 1469 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:30,639 We gotta make cuts from somewhere else. 1470 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,759 Yeah. We're done here. 1471 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:35,596 Anyway, it's an executive course right by the airport, right? 1472 01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:38,919 Okay, thanks for the job, I guess. 1473 01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,478 PRINCIPAL TYLER: Step tight. Pop! You know. 1474 01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:44,114 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 1475 01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:46,796 I'm sorry though. What cuts are you gonna make? 1476 01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:48,389 It's none of your business, Campbell. 1477 01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:49,596 Well, no, it is my business, right? 1478 01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:50,796 I... I teach at the school. 1479 01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:52,440 So, what are you gonna do? 1480 01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:56,440 I mean, you gonna cut buying new books or are you gonna shorten the school year? 1481 01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,834 You gonna increase the class sizes again? That one was a real bright idea. 1482 01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,475 Now would be a real good time for you to stop talking. 1483 01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:04,711 Yeah, now... Now would be a good time for me to stop talking, 1484 01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:06,036 but I'm not gonna stop talking, okay? 1485 01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:09,318 'Cause I... I'm asking a question. So, I'm sorry, but what cut... 1486 01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:10,880 No, I'm not sorry. All right? 1487 01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:12,952 I think, in fact, I'm tired of always saying I'm sorry. 1488 01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:15,316 I asked you guys a direct fucking question. 1489 01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:16,470 What cutbacks are you gonna make? 1490 01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:18,672 Campbell, this doesn't concern you, okay? 1491 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:19,990 You're just a teacher. 1492 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,637 Wow! Really? I'm just a teacher? 1493 01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:24,519 Well, all right. You're right. I may be just a teacher, 1494 01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:27,874 but I'm pretty sure that qualifies me to ask a goddamn question 1495 01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:31,357 about something that's gonna affect my ability to fucking teach! 1496 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,080 Campbell, get your ass out of here while you still got a job! 1497 01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:35,350 No, I can't do it, man, 1498 01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:37,193 because I'm done listening to you. 1499 01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:39,713 And I know I'm just a teacher, 1500 01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:41,792 but that ought to be worth something around here. 1501 01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,151 In fact, that ought to be worth everything to you guys, 1502 01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:46,789 but instead, you treat us like shit. 1503 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,435 And you don't give us the tools to do our jobs properly. 1504 01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:52,869 And I can't believe I'm saying this, but Strickland's right. 1505 01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,872 The students are running all over the fucking school. 1506 01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:57,953 So this may be just a teacher's opinion, 1507 01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:00,237 but you guys fucking suck at your jobs. 1508 01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:03,230 And if you ever leave me waiting outside again 1509 01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,278 so you can talk about a goddamn fishing trip, 1510 01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:06,675 I will walk right in here 1511 01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:09,400 and I'll punch you right in the fucking teeth, Tyler. 1512 01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,198 Stick that halibut up your ass! 1513 01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,631 (SINGING TUNELESSLY) Five hundred twenty-five thousand 1514 01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,996 Six hundred minutes 1515 01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:31,116 Five hundred twenty-five thousand 1516 01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:33,272 Moments so dear 1517 01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:35,629 (WHISPERS) She's so lame. 1518 01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:38,514 Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes 1519 01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:43,240 - How do you measure a year in the life? - Oh, God. 1520 01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:47,237 How about love? 1521 01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,080 (GIGGLING) 1522 01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:52,479 How about love? 1523 01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:55,756 How about... 1524 01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:57,390 (GIGGLING) 1525 01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:02,835 Oh, shit! 1526 01:07:04,080 --> 01:07:05,196 - Honey, what... - Hey. 1527 01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:06,350 What the hell happened to you? 1528 01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:08,751 Sweetie. Look, I've had a crazy day, okay? 1529 01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:09,996 I... I don't have time to explain. 1530 01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,277 Look, can you do me a big favor right now? 1531 01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:13,510 Okay. 1532 01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:16,998 I need you to see if you can get them to play that... That Big Sean song. 1533 01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:18,674 - Can you do it? - Yeah. Okay. 1534 01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:19,956 Okay. I'm gonna talk to Ally. 1535 01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:21,952 Oh, my God! You're the best! Okay. Thank you. Thank you. 1536 01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,794 Let's give it up again for Ally Campbell and her... 1537 01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:26,800 And herself. 1538 01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:28,520 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 1539 01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:33,756 Hey, buddy. Um, I'm gonna need a little favor from you. 1540 01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:36,357 - (SOBBING) - Ally! Ally! Hey, sweetie. 1541 01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:38,000 Daddy, where were you? 1542 01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:39,833 Okay, okay, I can explain that later, all right? 1543 01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,960 But right now, sweetie, we're going right back out there. 1544 01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:44,355 No, Daddy. The rules are that we have to... 1545 01:07:44,520 --> 01:07:45,510 Don't worry about the rules, okay? 1546 01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:46,670 We're not gonna play by the rules, all right? 1547 01:07:46,880 --> 01:07:47,996 - We're not? - No! Here's what we're gonna do. 1548 01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:49,640 We're gonna do the Big Sean song. 1549 01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:51,634 Wait, we are? 1550 01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:53,632 - Yeah! Mom's working on it. - She is? 1551 01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,832 I'll follow your lead and the moves are the same, right? 1552 01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,275 Yeah, the moves are the same. 1553 01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:58,716 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1554 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:00,480 There it goes. Okay, we gotta go. 1555 01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:02,239 - Let's get out there. Let's go. - Okay, let's do this. 1556 01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:04,315 Go, go, go. 1557 01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:08,155 Trisha, this song is for you. 1558 01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:11,118 (RAPPING) I don't fuck with you 1559 01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:12,556 (GASPING) 1560 01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:15,839 You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fuckin' with you 1561 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:17,150 What? 1562 01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:19,317 You little You little dumb ass bitch 1563 01:08:19,480 --> 01:08:21,073 I ain't fuckin' with you 1564 01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:24,200 I got a million trillion things 1565 01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:25,510 That I'd rather fuckin' do 1566 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,114 All right, fuck it. This what we're doing? All right. 1567 01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:29,158 Than to be fucking with you 1568 01:08:29,480 --> 01:08:30,675 Little stupid ass I don't give a fuck 1569 01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:31,830 I don't give a fuck 1570 01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:33,235 I don't, I don't I don't give a fuck 1571 01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,710 Bitch, I don't give a fuck about you 1572 01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:37,036 Or anything that you do 1573 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,237 Don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do 1574 01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:41,869 I heard you got a new man I see you takin' a pic 1575 01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:44,350 Then you post it up Thinkin' that it's makin' me sick 1576 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,876 But I see you calling I be makin' it quick 1577 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:50,317 I'mma answer that shit like I don't fuck with you 1578 01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:55,233 You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you 1579 01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:59,954 You little dumb ass bitch I ain't fucking with you 1580 01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:01,110 (MUSIC STOPS) 1581 01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:03,789 I got a million trillion things That I'd rather fucking do 1582 01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:05,189 Okay, music stopped. 1583 01:09:05,360 --> 01:09:07,317 Than to be fucking with you 1584 01:09:07,480 --> 01:09:09,199 Little stupid ass I don't give a fuck 1585 01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:10,350 - I don't give a fuck - Yeah! 1586 01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,000 I don't, I don't I don't give a fuck bitch. 1587 01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:13,953 - They just stopped the music. - I don't give a fuck about you 1588 01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:15,110 Or anything that you do 1589 01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:16,600 Don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do 1590 01:09:16,760 --> 01:09:18,399 Need you to stop. Okay. 1591 01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:20,753 Who's the loser now, Trisha? 1592 01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,759 Bully this, bitch! 1593 01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:24,919 (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) 1594 01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:28,993 Oh, my! 1595 01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,916 I was unaware of the lyrics 1596 01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:37,911 and... And the strong language in that song, so I do apologize. 1597 01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:42,272 But you know what? I apologize for nothing else. 1598 01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:43,875 (FEEDBACK) 1599 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,277 (ALL CHEERING) 1600 01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:53,392 Yeah! Way to go, Ally! 1601 01:09:53,560 --> 01:09:54,835 That's my girl! 1602 01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:56,954 Whoo! Oh. Damn! 1603 01:09:57,440 --> 01:09:58,430 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1604 01:09:58,760 --> 01:09:59,750 Way to go, kid! 1605 01:09:59,960 --> 01:10:02,111 Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna be a rock star here now. 1606 01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:03,794 Yeah, no. 1607 01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:05,599 - I... I think you're gonna be expelled. - Oh... 1608 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:07,393 Yeah, yeah. But, look, look, I'm super proud of you 1609 01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:09,074 - for standing up for yourself, okay? - Yeah. 1610 01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:10,435 All right, I gotta go do the same, all right? 1611 01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:12,313 - Daddy's gotta run. - Wait, where are you going? 1612 01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:16,114 Daddy's gotta get in a fist fight. 1613 01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,270 Shit! 1614 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,272 Hey! That's my scooter! 1615 01:10:37,240 --> 01:10:38,310 No shit. 1616 01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:41,956 Fuck, man. 1617 01:11:02,920 --> 01:11:04,798 (STUDENTS MURMURING) 1618 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:12,716 STUDENT: Mr. Campbell! 1619 01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:14,400 (ALL CHEERING) 1620 01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:29,599 Let's go! Kill him! 1621 01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:41,153 - Come on, man, Campbell! Come on, baby. - Yes, get him! Kill him! 1622 01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:44,672 Fucking kill him. Fucking destroy him. 1623 01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:47,236 (PLAYING THEME FROM ROCKY) 1624 01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:52,794 (LOUD CHEERING) 1625 01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:07,994 You ready to do this, motherfucker? 1626 01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:10,914 (LAUGHS) You actually sound like a real man, Campbell. 1627 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:12,639 Maybe one of your nuts dropped today. 1628 01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:14,871 I'll drop your nuts, bitch. Back the fuck up. Let's go. 1629 01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,190 You wanna see what I'm made out of? 1630 01:12:16,480 --> 01:12:17,596 (ALL GASP) 1631 01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:19,190 Oh, fuck! 1632 01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:23,314 See? Let that be a lesson to you. 1633 01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:25,673 Actions have consequences. 1634 01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:29,800 - Campbell! - (CHEERING) 1635 01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:34,472 You want some more of this, huh, boy? 1636 01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:36,110 Oh, shit! 1637 01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:39,433 - (STUDENTS CHEERING) - (BOTH GRUNTING) 1638 01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:41,120 How do you like this ass-whooping, Campbell? 1639 01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:42,509 I fucking love it, bitch! 1640 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:44,514 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1641 01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:53,436 Ahh! Shit! 1642 01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:55,114 - (GROANING) - HOLLY: Oh, shit! 1643 01:12:55,640 --> 01:12:56,915 (YELLS) 1644 01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:59,716 - ALL: Oh! - That's my stuff, damn it! 1645 01:13:00,120 --> 01:13:01,634 Yeah! (GROANS) 1646 01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,115 ALL: Oh! 1647 01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:05,477 - (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) 1648 01:13:06,480 --> 01:13:07,994 God damn it! 1649 01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:10,030 Fuck! 1650 01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:12,112 - Oh, my God! - Oh! 1651 01:13:12,720 --> 01:13:14,439 - Shit! Fuck this shit. - Campbell, stay down! 1652 01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:16,193 CRAWFORD: Campbell, stay down! 1653 01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:22,240 CRAWFORD: Bruce Lee style! 1654 01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:23,516 God damn it. 1655 01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:25,360 (GROANING) 1656 01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:27,958 Right here. I should just kill you. 1657 01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:29,110 Fuck you, man. 1658 01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:31,556 Whoever dies first haunts the school. 1659 01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:33,832 CRAWFORD: You've got this, Campbell! 1660 01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:36,879 Okay, come here. Come here. 1661 01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:38,190 GIRL: Take it, bitch! 1662 01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:39,430 Fuck you! 1663 01:13:39,640 --> 01:13:41,711 Come on, this way. (LAUGHS) 1664 01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:43,355 (SCREAMS) 1665 01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:45,836 (GRUNTS) 1666 01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:49,677 - Stop this! - It is not my job to stop this. 1667 01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:52,270 STRICKLAND: Fake ass John McEnroe! 1668 01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:53,670 (GROANS) 1669 01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:54,990 Yeah! 1670 01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:57,033 Ooh, mother... (GRUNTS) 1671 01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,234 (YELLING) 1672 01:14:02,240 --> 01:14:03,390 ALL: Oh! 1673 01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:05,114 Oh, shit! 1674 01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:07,919 WOMAN: Come on, motherfucker! Get up! 1675 01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:10,675 - You got this! - Whoo! 1676 01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:13,550 I don't think he's got this. 1677 01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:15,080 Motherfucker! (GRUNTING) 1678 01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:18,070 CRAWFORD: Come on! 1679 01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:21,436 Kick his ass! 1680 01:14:22,200 --> 01:14:24,510 What's the matter, Campbell? You looking tired. 1681 01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,872 You throwing less and less punches. 1682 01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:29,191 - It's "fewer and fewer." - ALL: Oh! 1683 01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:32,473 The proper sentence structure is "fewer and fewer". 1684 01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:34,632 Never trash talk an English teacher, okay? 1685 01:14:34,920 --> 01:14:36,434 ALL: Oh! 1686 01:14:47,680 --> 01:14:50,149 CRAWFORD: Get up, Campbell! Get up! 1687 01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:51,356 HOLLY: He's getting up! 1688 01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:52,670 CRAWFORD: Get up! 1689 01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:54,800 STUDENT: He's getting up! 1690 01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,353 (CROWD CHEERING) 1691 01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:10,238 You can run, but you can't hide. 1692 01:15:15,200 --> 01:15:16,395 Campbell! 1693 01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:20,353 Where you at, light roast? 1694 01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:24,440 Campbell? 1695 01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:27,559 Campbell? 1696 01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:30,952 Where the fuck are you at? 1697 01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:33,432 Surprise, bitch! (GRUNTS) 1698 01:15:33,920 --> 01:15:35,036 Get the fuck off me! 1699 01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:37,110 Shit! 1700 01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:43,593 You dirty mother... What the fuck is this shit? 1701 01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:45,434 Campbell! Come here. 1702 01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:47,359 So I can fuck you up. Come here. 1703 01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:49,631 You know, I'm gonna kick your ass. 1704 01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:50,995 You want some of this? 1705 01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:52,674 You little son of a bitch. 1706 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:55,470 What you got? 1707 01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:56,756 Come on, motherfucker. 1708 01:15:56,920 --> 01:15:58,593 What do I got? (PANTING) 1709 01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:01,834 I got nothing to lose! 1710 01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:07,433 Oh, I'm learning so much! 1711 01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:10,078 - (BOTH YELLING) - WILLIAM: Almost there. 1712 01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:11,550 Oh! 1713 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:14,832 I came anyway, motherfuckers! 1714 01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:17,073 Fuck over here. Shit! 1715 01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:20,031 Excuse me, I'm the superintendent. Get out of my way. 1716 01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:23,637 I'mma kill you. Kill you. Tap your fucking ass. 1717 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:26,360 You like baseball, Strickland? Batter up, bitch! 1718 01:16:28,280 --> 01:16:30,158 - The, uh, kids superglued that down. - Huh? 1719 01:16:30,360 --> 01:16:32,272 - I know. They're freaking clever. - (YELLING) 1720 01:16:32,480 --> 01:16:33,834 Jesus, watch out! 1721 01:16:36,360 --> 01:16:37,840 Stay down, light roast. 1722 01:16:43,360 --> 01:16:45,511 What are you doing, Campbell? What the... 1723 01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:48,830 (GROANS) 1724 01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:50,876 Fuck! 1725 01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:53,950 (LAUGHING) 1726 01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:56,230 Fuck me! 1727 01:16:58,240 --> 01:16:59,276 Oh, shit! 1728 01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:01,880 - (CAMPBELL GROANS) - ALL: Oh! 1729 01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:04,039 My fucking windshield! 1730 01:17:05,360 --> 01:17:06,350 (GROANING) Shit! 1731 01:17:09,200 --> 01:17:10,873 (YELLS IN PAIN) 1732 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,031 I'm about sick of this shit, Campbell. 1733 01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,839 You want some more of this, boy? 1734 01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:22,794 (GROANING) 1735 01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:24,230 ALL: Oh! 1736 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,354 (CAMPBELL PANTING) 1737 01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:33,158 School's out for the summer, everybody. 1738 01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:35,153 (ALL CHEERING) 1739 01:17:35,920 --> 01:17:37,400 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 1740 01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:54,676 CROWD: (CHANTING) Campbell! Campbell! 1741 01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:57,116 I'm never gonna stop fighting! Uh-uh! 1742 01:17:57,280 --> 01:17:59,954 I'm never gonna stop fighting for myself. 1743 01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:01,998 For my family, for this school! 1744 01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:04,914 The fight never ends! The fight never ends! 1745 01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:07,440 - Whoo! - (ALL GASP) 1746 01:18:08,560 --> 01:18:09,914 Like he said, 1747 01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:11,554 the fight never ends. 1748 01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:13,595 Unless you're him. 1749 01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:15,839 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1750 01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:22,756 Hello? 1751 01:18:23,520 --> 01:18:26,797 Uh, no, well, he's... He's actually out right now. 1752 01:18:27,640 --> 01:18:28,630 Uh-huh. 1753 01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:30,879 Oh, shit, okay. 1754 01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:32,759 I'll make him aware. 1755 01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:36,270 Water! Anybody got water? 1756 01:18:40,640 --> 01:18:42,632 (SPITS, COUGHING) 1757 01:18:44,320 --> 01:18:45,470 What happened? 1758 01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:47,800 You got knocked the fuck out. 1759 01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:49,150 Yeah, I feel that now. 1760 01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:51,915 But look, man. Your wife just called. She said you're having a baby. 1761 01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:54,556 Oh, shit, for real? I gotta go then. 1762 01:18:55,480 --> 01:18:56,630 (GROANS) 1763 01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,959 Hey, look. Can you give me a lift to the hospital? 1764 01:18:59,120 --> 01:19:00,634 I kind of totaled my car. 1765 01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:03,630 - All right. Let's roll. I got you. - All right. 1766 01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:05,150 You got gas money? 1767 01:19:05,480 --> 01:19:07,312 HOLLY: Hey! Hey, you! 1768 01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:11,156 What the hell, man? You're just gonna walk away? 1769 01:19:11,320 --> 01:19:13,789 Just gonna leave like this? On these terms? 1770 01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:16,592 What the hell are you talking about? 1771 01:19:16,760 --> 01:19:17,796 Who are you? I... 1772 01:19:17,960 --> 01:19:19,917 Holly. We've been flirting, like, all fucking year. 1773 01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:22,595 I've been, like, ignoring you all year. 1774 01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:25,750 Oh. 1775 01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:28,272 Because I've been playing games with you all year. 1776 01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:30,230 I knew it! 1777 01:19:30,440 --> 01:19:33,000 It's 3:15 and I'm not a student anymore. 1778 01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:35,316 Let's do this. 1779 01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:38,520 (TIRES SCREECH) 1780 01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:44,190 Ah, shit. 1781 01:19:44,360 --> 01:19:45,919 Oh, yeah. Thanks. 1782 01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:48,590 Emergency! Hey, get off your ass, lady. 1783 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:51,356 Sir, emergency's on the other side of the building. 1784 01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:53,830 What? No, no. Not me. We need maternity. 1785 01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:55,554 Maternity's third floor. 1786 01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:57,200 Let's go deliver this baby. 1787 01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:59,079 - I got it from here. Yeah. - You sure? 1788 01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:01,038 Yeah, it's a hospital. So they got doctors and stuff. 1789 01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:02,793 But, listen. Uh... 1790 01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:03,950 Thank you, man. 1791 01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:05,600 Like, thank you for the fight. Really. 1792 01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:09,636 You did good. 1793 01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:14,869 Get the fuck off me. What you doing? 1794 01:20:15,080 --> 01:20:16,833 Yeah. That was a dumb idea. All right, yeah. See ya. 1795 01:20:17,040 --> 01:20:18,030 Go hug your wife. 1796 01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:19,714 REPORTER: (ON TV) Two teachers pitted against each other 1797 01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:22,031 in a school fight to end all school fights. 1798 01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:24,157 A lot of people are saying this has proven the depths 1799 01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:26,118 to which the public school system has fallen. 1800 01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:28,272 The school board is launching an investigation 1801 01:20:28,440 --> 01:20:30,272 saying something needs to change. 1802 01:20:30,440 --> 01:20:32,432 - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. - Live from Roosevelt High School, 1803 01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:33,915 Channel 68 News. 1804 01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,196 That's us. 1805 01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:38,596 Hashtag teacher fight! 1806 01:20:40,160 --> 01:20:41,560 (MOANING) 1807 01:20:42,440 --> 01:20:43,430 - Maggie! Hi! - Andy! 1808 01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:45,552 I was so afraid that you wouldn't make it. 1809 01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:47,515 - Are you okay? - What happened to you? 1810 01:20:47,680 --> 01:20:48,830 I... I got into a little bit of a fight. 1811 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:50,320 With who? You look like hell! 1812 01:20:50,480 --> 01:20:52,039 - With another teacher. Yeah. - What? 1813 01:20:52,240 --> 01:20:54,630 But it's okay. So, honey, listen to me. Listen to me. 1814 01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:56,673 - I lost my job. - What? 1815 01:20:56,840 --> 01:20:58,069 But not 'cause I didn't stand up to those guys. 1816 01:20:58,240 --> 01:20:59,674 You should have seen me stand up to those guys. 1817 01:20:59,840 --> 01:21:02,480 - No, no, no, it's because you were right! - Yeah? Okay. 1818 01:21:02,640 --> 01:21:04,711 And... And I want you to believe me right now. 1819 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:06,070 I want you to believe me 1820 01:21:06,240 --> 01:21:08,197 when I tell you everything's gonna be okay. 1821 01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:13,312 - Yeah? - I believe you. 1822 01:21:13,480 --> 01:21:14,470 - You do? - I believe you. 1823 01:21:14,680 --> 01:21:15,670 Yeah? 1824 01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:17,638 - Everything's gonna be okay, sweetie. - It's gonna be okay. 1825 01:21:17,800 --> 01:21:18,790 Oh, God! 1826 01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:20,076 Is it time to push? Or where are we? 1827 01:21:20,240 --> 01:21:21,754 Oh, no. We've been pushing for a while, baby. 1828 01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:23,240 - Okay. Go! Push! - Here we go. 1829 01:21:23,440 --> 01:21:24,874 Here we go. (GROANS) 1830 01:21:25,320 --> 01:21:26,879 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1831 01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:28,994 (YELLING) 1832 01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:32,150 (CHUCKLES) 1833 01:21:33,040 --> 01:21:34,190 She's squirming around. 1834 01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,589 I think we got a little fighter on our hands. 1835 01:21:35,760 --> 01:21:37,035 - I think so, too. - You wanna take her for a minute? 1836 01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:38,470 - I would love to. - Okay. 1837 01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:39,676 - Are you a little hungry? - Yeah! 1838 01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:40,910 Are you a little hungry, baby? 1839 01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:42,554 - Time to eat! - Yeah! 1840 01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:44,040 Hey, Ally looks happy, huh? 1841 01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:46,351 MAGGIE: Oh, yeah! She's very popular now. 1842 01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:48,478 I think some of the kids are actually kind of afraid of her. 1843 01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:49,960 That's a good thing, I think. 1844 01:21:51,120 --> 01:21:52,474 How we doing here? What you going for? 1845 01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:53,835 Hot dog? Hamburger? 1846 01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:56,151 Both! Hey, Crawford, you want a dog? 1847 01:21:56,400 --> 01:21:59,837 I want a dog but no bun. I'm trying to fit into my skinny jeans. 1848 01:22:00,160 --> 01:22:02,072 I think I look good in them. (LAUGHS) 1849 01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:03,469 HOLLY: Trying to fit into his skinny jeans. 1850 01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:04,835 CAMPBELL: Yeah, yeah. It's not his look. 1851 01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:06,229 - Campbell. - HOLLY: They look terrible. 1852 01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,555 Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. 1853 01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:13,359 You here to fire everybody again? 1854 01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:14,670 Yeah, yeah. Cut the shit, Campbell. 1855 01:22:14,840 --> 01:22:16,832 I don't wanna be here any more than you want me to, okay? 1856 01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,878 Well, I wouldn't say that I don't want you here. 1857 01:22:19,040 --> 01:22:20,952 But why are you here? 1858 01:22:21,160 --> 01:22:23,356 Well, because of the media attention, 1859 01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:27,996 you and Strickland became like education folk heroes. 1860 01:22:28,160 --> 01:22:29,230 Yeah, how about that, huh? 1861 01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:33,235 So, the board wants both of you back at Roosevelt because of this PR mess. 1862 01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:37,391 So, this is fun. So, he sent you here 1863 01:22:38,360 --> 01:22:39,919 to beg me to come back? 1864 01:22:40,480 --> 01:22:42,392 He said my job depends on it. 1865 01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:43,670 Did he really? 1866 01:22:43,840 --> 01:22:46,150 Ouch. Shoot. 1867 01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:48,437 So, this is a tough one for me, you know? 1868 01:22:48,600 --> 01:22:50,956 'Cause I didn't leave on great terms and... 1869 01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:52,556 (SIGHS) 1870 01:22:52,840 --> 01:22:55,514 Boy, it sucks when your job's in someone else's hands like this. 1871 01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:57,034 Enough of your shit, okay? 1872 01:22:57,240 --> 01:22:58,390 Are you gonna come back or not? 1873 01:22:58,880 --> 01:23:00,109 Tell you what. 1874 01:23:01,280 --> 01:23:03,078 I'll come back on one condition. 1875 01:23:03,720 --> 01:23:04,995 You the man, Campbell! 1876 01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:06,190 Thank you. 1877 01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:07,919 Thanks for getting our jobs back. 1878 01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:09,275 I'm glad I didn't cut you. 1879 01:23:09,440 --> 01:23:11,079 Yeah. Huh? 1880 01:23:11,560 --> 01:23:13,074 Yeah, you really saved our asses. 1881 01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:15,153 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 1882 01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:18,390 Yo! 1883 01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:20,559 (LAUGHS) Hey! 1884 01:23:20,760 --> 01:23:22,353 Look, man, I'm, uh... 1885 01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:24,637 I'm really happy you decided to take your job back. 1886 01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:26,400 Yeah. To be honest, 1887 01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,239 I kinda missed these little fuckers. 1888 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:30,234 They keep me young, you know what I mean? 1889 01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:34,760 All right, well, what do you say we get back to work and no free periods, right? 1890 01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:36,833 - Goddamn right. - Okay. 1891 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:39,639 - (GROANS) - Hey! Hey! 1892 01:23:40,040 --> 01:23:41,235 You cut out all that grab-assing. 1893 01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:42,993 CAMPBELL: You get your ass to detention, Freddie. 1894 01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:45,920 All right, I'm not joking around. You get there before I kick it there! 1895 01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,349 I will kick you into oblivion, Freddie. 1896 01:23:47,520 --> 01:23:49,557 I will kick you into dust! 1897 01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:53,714 - Whoa, Campbell. Take it down a notch. - (CHUCKLES) 1898 01:23:54,480 --> 01:23:57,598 I'm supposed to be the scariest motherfucker in this school, not you. 1899 01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:00,315 That's true. All right, man, you ready to do this thing? 1900 01:24:00,480 --> 01:24:02,073 - Do it. - Boom. 1901 01:24:02,840 --> 01:24:05,036 Up top! Down low. 1902 01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:06,953 - Enough of that shit. - I'll fight you again. 1903 01:24:17,960 --> 01:24:20,236 I've been waiting to fuck you up for a long time. 1904 01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:22,960 (CHUCKLES) Why? 1905 01:24:23,160 --> 01:24:24,150 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1906 01:24:24,320 --> 01:24:25,390 But I'll tell you for an iPhone. 1907 01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:26,550 Listen to me, you fuck shit. 1908 01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:27,915 I will fucking rip your head off of your head. 1909 01:24:28,160 --> 01:24:29,150 I will shit down your neck. 1910 01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:32,074 I will fucking smash my shit into your butthole. (LAUGHING) 1911 01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,160 Is there... 1912 01:24:36,320 --> 01:24:37,310 A horse? 1913 01:24:37,480 --> 01:24:38,834 - Yeah, there's some shit. - Sorry about that, guys. 1914 01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:40,229 - Right. I'm out. - MAN: Cut. 1915 01:24:40,800 --> 01:24:42,393 - See you in a bit. - (HOLLY LAUGHING) 1916 01:24:43,480 --> 01:24:45,392 I never said nothing about no running. 1917 01:24:45,600 --> 01:24:46,954 Who's you? Seabiscuit? 1918 01:24:47,240 --> 01:24:48,560 You don't run nowhere. 1919 01:24:48,720 --> 01:24:51,280 That's the old Andy because the new Andy... 1920 01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:52,550 (STAMMERS) I'm not gonna... 1921 01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:55,110 I'm gonna just ramble. Forever. 1922 01:24:55,280 --> 01:24:57,511 I think maybe one of your nuts dropped today. 1923 01:24:58,160 --> 01:25:01,676 I'mma drop your nuts down somewhere. 1924 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:03,354 (ALL LAUGHING) 1925 01:25:04,320 --> 01:25:05,515 Finish it! 1926 01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:07,956 - Fuck this shit! - Come on. This way. (LAUGHS) 1927 01:25:11,040 --> 01:25:12,076 Make it whole wheat. 1928 01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:13,833 And can I have some pork and beans with that? 1929 01:25:14,040 --> 01:25:15,520 No dog. Just tuna fish. 1930 01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:17,512 Just a little bit of sauerkraut and some relish. 1931 01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:18,830 Just Cheezdoodles. 1932 01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:20,992 Light on the cheese and heavy on the doodle. 1933 01:25:21,160 --> 01:25:22,560 I'm trying to be like Steve McQueen. 1934 01:25:22,760 --> 01:25:23,750 They call me True Grit. 1935 01:25:23,920 --> 01:25:26,719 I'm a weirdo. You know my style. (LAUGHS) 1936 01:25:28,840 --> 01:25:31,196 Yeah. I'm stressed out, too. My neighbor got a cat. 1937 01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:33,557 - Oh, you don't like a cat looking at you? - Creeps me out. 1938 01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:36,360 It's always when I'm masturbating, too. (CHUCKLES) 1939 01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:40,197 I will be done with my classes by then. 1940 01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:42,551 It's not a fucking question! 1941 01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:44,712 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1942 01:25:46,880 --> 01:25:47,916 I still have the knife. 1943 01:25:48,120 --> 01:25:49,713 Say the word and I will end him. 1944 01:25:49,880 --> 01:25:51,280 Damn, girl. No! 1945 01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:55,074 (STAMMERING) Am I the only one here 1946 01:25:55,240 --> 01:25:56,560 who sees what's going on? Hello? 1947 01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:57,949 - Hello. - (LAUGHS) 1948 01:25:59,120 --> 01:26:00,236 Hello! Hello! 1949 01:26:00,400 --> 01:26:01,550 - Hello. - (LAUGHS) 1950 01:26:02,960 --> 01:26:04,917 He said "hello." And I said "hello" back. 1951 01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:06,515 (LAUGHING) 1952 01:26:09,760 --> 01:26:11,080 I caught a halibut, man. 1953 01:26:13,200 --> 01:26:15,431 Way to go, Ally! That's my girl! 1954 01:26:17,760 --> 01:26:19,160 Bully this, bitch! 1955 01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:23,955 You have a wife? You got a wife? 1956 01:26:24,120 --> 01:26:26,715 Yes, you know I have a wife. We talked about it two scenes ago. 1957 01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:27,870 (LAUGHING) 1958 01:26:28,280 --> 01:26:29,634 Is that the wrong thing to do? 1959 01:26:29,800 --> 01:26:31,314 Is that an unlikeable thing to do? 1960 01:26:31,480 --> 01:26:33,756 Yeah! But boo-fucking-hoo! 1961 01:26:33,920 --> 01:26:36,355 I can be a dick, too. You wanna see me be a dick? 1962 01:30:15,600 --> 01:30:17,273 Hmm. So what do you teach here? 1963 01:30:17,720 --> 01:30:20,235 I teach gym, but I'm a singer. Can I sing a song to you? 1964 01:30:20,480 --> 01:30:21,516 Uh, uh... 1965 01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:23,030 Go ahead. 1966 01:30:23,280 --> 01:30:25,317 Shorty, I'm there for you Anytime you need me 1967 01:30:25,520 --> 01:30:27,159 For real, girl It's me in your world 1968 01:30:27,320 --> 01:30:30,154 Believe me, nothing make a man feel better than a woman 1969 01:30:30,360 --> 01:30:32,670 Queen with a crown that be down for whatever 1970 01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:35,036 There are few things that's forever, my lady 1971 01:30:35,240 --> 01:30:37,277 We can make war or make babies 1972 01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:41,277 That's not technically a song. That's kinda like a rap. 1973 01:30:41,440 --> 01:30:42,510 It still sound good, don't it? 1974 01:30:42,720 --> 01:30:43,710 It did! It did. 1975 01:30:43,920 --> 01:30:46,640 Why you keep shaking your legs like you got something down there 1976 01:30:46,800 --> 01:30:48,393 - moving. - Because you make me nervous. 1977 01:30:48,560 --> 01:30:50,438 Because I feel love when I see you. 1978 01:30:50,600 --> 01:30:52,273 And I mean love. 1979 01:30:52,520 --> 01:30:54,000 What'd you said your name was again?