1 00:00:04,086 --> 00:00:06,004 We're very different, but I think that we bring out 2 00:00:06,088 --> 00:00:07,965 the best in each other. 3 00:00:08,048 --> 00:00:11,302 It's like you're chocolate and I'm Mr. Peanutbutter. 4 00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:14,554 Shut up and kiss me, you silly goof. 5 00:00:17,057 --> 00:00:20,727 - Cut! - [buzzer sounds] 6 00:00:20,811 --> 00:00:23,147 Welcome back to Excess Hollywoo. 7 00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:26,066 I'm A Ryan Seacrest Type, and I'm visiting the set 8 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:28,319 of Mr. Peanutbutter's Hollywoo Heist. 9 00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:30,946 I'm thrilled to be talking to the star of the film, 10 00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:33,949 BoJack Horseman, and his real life inspiration, 11 00:00:34,032 --> 00:00:35,159 Mr. Peanutbutter. 12 00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:36,868 Am I an inspiration? 13 00:00:36,952 --> 00:00:38,496 Well, that depends on how you define... 14 00:00:38,578 --> 00:00:40,872 - Wait a minute. Yes, I am. - Ugh. 15 00:00:40,956 --> 00:00:43,041 You know, I'm just over the moon to be producing 16 00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:45,544 this movie about my daring exploit. 17 00:00:45,627 --> 00:00:48,547 - Yes, your daring exploit. - Yes. 18 00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,342 It's such a treat to be shooting in my very own casa. 19 00:00:51,425 --> 00:00:55,220 And it's an even sweeter treat to be played by my good amigo... 20 00:00:55,304 --> 00:00:56,805 dare I say best amigo? 21 00:00:56,888 --> 00:00:58,682 - You "daren't." - We're so in tune. 22 00:00:58,765 --> 00:01:03,521 We even finish each other's... 23 00:01:03,603 --> 00:01:05,439 sentences. 24 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,815 Sometimes it doesn't happen. 25 00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:07,983 - It never... - Happens. 26 00:01:08,066 --> 00:01:10,610 Ah, see? I'm inside him. 27 00:01:10,694 --> 00:01:12,863 BoJack, you haven't worked in quite some time. 28 00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:14,739 In fact, I thought you were dead. 29 00:01:14,823 --> 00:01:17,868 You must be so grateful to be working again and also alive, 30 00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:19,911 which, again, I thought you were not. 31 00:01:19,995 --> 00:01:21,330 How did you get involved with this? 32 00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:22,581 Well... 33 00:01:22,664 --> 00:01:23,748 You want me to play Mr. Peanutbutter 34 00:01:23,832 --> 00:01:26,544 in the story he stole from me? 35 00:01:26,626 --> 00:01:27,919 I stole the D, 36 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,880 and then he stole my stealing of it. 37 00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:32,383 That makes him an idea thief, which is much less cool 38 00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:34,385 than a thief thief, which is what I am 39 00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:35,469 and what he also is. 40 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:36,928 You know what might help? 41 00:01:37,012 --> 00:01:38,389 If you think about this like a professional 42 00:01:38,472 --> 00:01:40,015 instead of a big titty baby. 43 00:01:40,098 --> 00:01:42,184 This movie is a huge opportunity. 44 00:01:42,267 --> 00:01:45,687 Quentin Tarantulino is known for revitalizing dead careers. 45 00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:47,689 This could do for you what Reservoir Dogs 46 00:01:47,772 --> 00:01:49,024 did for Rin Tin Tin. 47 00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:50,650 But isn't there any other part? 48 00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:52,403 I could play myself. 49 00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:54,572 No, BoJack's already being played by Wallace Shawn. 50 00:01:54,654 --> 00:01:56,198 What? The short guy from The Princess Bride 51 00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:57,533 who says "inconceivable"? 52 00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:59,868 - Why Wallace Shawn? - BoJack Horseman? 53 00:01:59,951 --> 00:02:01,245 I don't want to play that boob. 54 00:02:01,328 --> 00:02:02,871 I'm trying to help you out, Wally. 55 00:02:02,954 --> 00:02:05,499 You're the one who keeps buying expensive Rothkos. 56 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,251 I have a disease. 57 00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:10,629 Would you tell an alcoholic to stop buying alcohol? 58 00:02:10,754 --> 00:02:12,756 You know, Black and Blue Number 7's 59 00:02:12,839 --> 00:02:14,299 going up for auction next week. 60 00:02:14,383 --> 00:02:15,842 Fine. I'll do the dumb movie. 61 00:02:15,926 --> 00:02:17,636 Fine. I'll do the dumb movie. 62 00:02:17,719 --> 00:02:19,888 But if you find me in a bathtub with open wrists tomorrow 63 00:02:19,971 --> 00:02:22,349 and the words "I hate my agent" smeared across the walls 64 00:02:22,474 --> 00:02:24,101 in blood, you'll know why. 65 00:02:24,184 --> 00:02:27,729 So obviously I'm thrilled to be here, just thrilled. 66 00:02:27,812 --> 00:02:30,732 [funky electronic music] 67 00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:37,822 ♪ ♪ 68 00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:18,672 - Sync and corrected by TheDelta - - www.addic7ed.com - 69 00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:24,286 Cast and crew only. 70 00:03:24,369 --> 00:03:26,246 I know you're just doing your job, 71 00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:29,791 but I live here, and the crew has been here since 3:00 a.m., 72 00:03:29,874 --> 00:03:31,335 so I'm a little tired. 73 00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:33,420 Cast and crew only. 74 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,921 Hey, stranger. 75 00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:36,465 Haven't really seen you since the wedding. 76 00:03:36,548 --> 00:03:38,342 Kind of feels like we're coming back to school 77 00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:39,759 - after summer vacation. - Yeah. 78 00:03:39,843 --> 00:03:41,428 I'll see you at the pep rally. 79 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,347 Hope we don't get Mrs. Kirkman for trig this year. 80 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:45,724 Yeah, well, I hope the cheerleaders don't stuff me 81 00:03:45,807 --> 00:03:48,059 in a locker and write "virgin slut" on my forehead, 82 00:03:48,143 --> 00:03:49,853 and then when I ask how I could be both a virgin 83 00:03:49,936 --> 00:03:51,730 and a slut, they make me eat a lipstick. 84 00:03:51,813 --> 00:03:53,482 Uh... 85 00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:55,775 So what have you been up to these last couple months? 86 00:03:55,859 --> 00:03:58,778 Well, I've been pretty busy. Met a girl at Soho House. 87 00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:00,405 - Was she your waitress? - Yes. 88 00:04:00,489 --> 00:04:01,948 Then I met a girl at Mastro's. 89 00:04:02,032 --> 00:04:03,534 - Was she also your waitress? - Yes. 90 00:04:03,617 --> 00:04:04,826 Then I met a girl at P.F. Chang's. 91 00:04:04,909 --> 00:04:06,370 Let me guess. She was your... 92 00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:08,372 A hooker, yes, but what she really wants to do 93 00:04:08,455 --> 00:04:10,123 - is wait tables. - [laughs] 94 00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:12,167 Well, I, for one, would love to meet 95 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,544 the aspiring food-service worker 96 00:04:13,627 --> 00:04:15,379 who finally gets you to settle down. 97 00:04:15,462 --> 00:04:17,464 What? Why would I want to settle down? 98 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,799 I'm 50. 99 00:04:19,883 --> 00:04:22,260 - Yeah, anyway... - So I'm sending the first draft 100 00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:23,803 of the book to Pinky this afternoon. 101 00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:26,390 - What? It's done? - Not yet. Almost. 102 00:04:26,473 --> 00:04:29,059 I'm excited for you to read it, 103 00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:31,061 but I'm also cripplingly nervous. 104 00:04:31,144 --> 00:04:33,021 I actually kind of feel like throwing up, 105 00:04:33,104 --> 00:04:34,814 but I can't throw up because I haven't had anything to eat 106 00:04:34,898 --> 00:04:36,983 because this lady won't let me in my own kitchen. 107 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,694 Cast and crew only. 108 00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:40,738 Listen, if reading a book you wrote is anywhere near 109 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,947 as great as it is to actually spend time with you, 110 00:04:43,031 --> 00:04:45,075 I'm sure it's gonna be wonderful. 111 00:04:45,158 --> 00:04:47,202 Having said that, what do I know about books? 112 00:04:47,285 --> 00:04:49,204 I'm just a dumb actor. 113 00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:54,459 I'm here with Hollywoo darling Naomi Watts. 114 00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,878 Tell me, what attracted you to the role of Diane? 115 00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:58,630 I just keep getting pigeonholed 116 00:04:58,714 --> 00:05:01,174 as these complex characters in highly acclaimed movies. 117 00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:03,260 For once, I would just love to phone it in 118 00:05:03,343 --> 00:05:05,303 and play a two-dimensional girl in a rom com 119 00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:07,097 with no inner life of her own. 120 00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:09,516 That's kind of the reason I got into this business. 121 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,476 Ha ha! You said words. 122 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,021 Now, is it true you stay in character between takes? 123 00:05:15,105 --> 00:05:17,733 Oh, we all do. The director insists upon it. 124 00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:20,444 He even has everyone calling me Diane 125 00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:22,404 to help me get in the headspace. 126 00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:24,030 It's been great. 127 00:05:24,114 --> 00:05:25,156 Diane, looking good. 128 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,117 - Um, thanks. - Ugh, not you. 129 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,201 I was talking to Diane. 130 00:05:28,285 --> 00:05:29,661 Oh, thank you. 131 00:05:29,745 --> 00:05:30,788 Now, where's my peanut butter? 132 00:05:30,870 --> 00:05:32,247 Right over here, Q. 133 00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:33,373 No, I'm looking for peanut butter. 134 00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:34,874 Oh, you mean BoJack? 135 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,835 If I wanted BoJack, I would call BoJack. 136 00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:38,837 Did someone call for BoJack? 137 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,715 It really cuts down on confusion. 138 00:05:44,092 --> 00:05:47,345 Ah, show business, the great equalizer. 139 00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,055 Is that what it is? 140 00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:50,682 Todd, spritz me. 141 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:53,143 - Spritzing. - Mm, mm, mm. 142 00:05:53,226 --> 00:05:54,561 Well spritzed. 143 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,354 Have you ever been on a movie set before? 144 00:05:56,438 --> 00:05:58,189 No, sir, Mr. Peanutbutter. 145 00:05:58,273 --> 00:06:01,693 Please, Mr. Peanutbutter was my father's name. 146 00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:03,821 - Uh... - And it's also my name! 147 00:06:03,903 --> 00:06:05,113 [buzzer sounds] 148 00:06:05,196 --> 00:06:06,782 Ooh, speaking of Mr. Peanutbutter, 149 00:06:06,865 --> 00:06:08,450 I'll be back in a jiff, skippy. 150 00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,494 Keep that air spritzed for me. 151 00:06:10,577 --> 00:06:12,162 Aloha, kemosabe. 152 00:06:12,245 --> 00:06:14,706 Hey, allow me to put on my producer hat 153 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,000 and produce you just for one second here. 154 00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:19,461 I have a few notes on how you're playing me. 155 00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:21,713 Let's see. [Humming] 156 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,715 Problems, problems, problems, ah, here we go. 157 00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:26,468 I find it really troubling that my movie self 158 00:06:26,551 --> 00:06:28,970 is wearing a crew neck T-shirt. [laughs] 159 00:06:29,053 --> 00:06:30,472 I only wear V-necks. 160 00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:32,015 You see the problem. 161 00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:33,684 - I do not. - I just think if we're telling 162 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:35,853 the story, we should tell it how it really happened. 163 00:06:35,935 --> 00:06:38,229 Yeah, this whole story isn't how it really happened. 164 00:06:38,313 --> 00:06:40,106 Right... 165 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,566 because of the shirts. 166 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:43,234 Because I'm the one who stole the D. 167 00:06:43,318 --> 00:06:44,569 I'm the real hero here. 168 00:06:44,653 --> 00:06:46,237 My life is full of exciting adventures. 169 00:06:46,321 --> 00:06:47,322 I should write a book. 170 00:06:47,405 --> 00:06:48,990 Oh, wait. I did. 171 00:06:49,073 --> 00:06:50,617 Suck on that, society. 172 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,160 Hey, you're in a mood. 173 00:06:52,243 --> 00:06:53,871 Perhaps the tightness of that crew neck 174 00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:55,955 is cutting off circulation to the brain? 175 00:06:56,039 --> 00:06:57,666 Let me talk to Donna in wardrobe. 176 00:06:57,749 --> 00:06:59,167 We're gonna fix this, buddy. 177 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,251 Donna! 178 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,089 What are you doing? 179 00:07:05,173 --> 00:07:08,259 I'm just trying to get inside my character, which is you. 180 00:07:08,343 --> 00:07:09,761 Is this how we move our arms? 181 00:07:09,845 --> 00:07:11,221 We're so weird. 182 00:07:11,304 --> 00:07:12,514 Is this really necessary? 183 00:07:12,597 --> 00:07:14,140 Is this really necessary? 184 00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:15,433 That's not what I sound like. 185 00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:17,268 That's not mut mi sound mike. 186 00:07:17,352 --> 00:07:19,270 Hey, what's it been like since we got married? 187 00:07:19,354 --> 00:07:21,648 Is it everything we dreamed of since we were little? 188 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,567 When I was little, I dreamed of getting 189 00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,694 a MacArthur grant for my 'zine about how all the girls 190 00:07:25,777 --> 00:07:27,195 at school were bitches. 191 00:07:27,278 --> 00:07:29,656 - Oh. - Look, the wedding was great. 192 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,700 But that's not real life. 193 00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:33,326 I mean, I guess I got a happy ending, 194 00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,328 but every happy ending has the day after 195 00:07:35,412 --> 00:07:36,580 the happy ending, right? 196 00:07:36,663 --> 00:07:37,789 And the day after that. 197 00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:40,124 So the wedding was so much fun. 198 00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:41,626 It was the happiest day of my life. 199 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,211 But, you know, what does that say 200 00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:45,296 about all the days I have left? 201 00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,506 Whoa. 202 00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:49,843 We're such a Zoe. 203 00:07:51,386 --> 00:07:52,721 Oh, Todd, glad you're here. 204 00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:53,805 Hold this. 205 00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:55,682 Todd, my jacket is on the floor. 206 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,058 You're supposed to hold the jacket 207 00:07:57,141 --> 00:07:58,643 so it doesn't go on the floor. 208 00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:01,980 Hey, sorry, BoJack... I mean, uh, Mr. Peanutbutter. 209 00:08:02,063 --> 00:08:04,441 But I work for Mr. Peanutbutter now. 210 00:08:04,524 --> 00:08:07,360 - I mean, uh, Mr. Peanutbutter. - Ugh. 211 00:08:07,444 --> 00:08:08,987 I can't believe I'm on a movie set, you know? 212 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,656 I mean, this is my first chance to work on something big 213 00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:14,325 since my rock opera fell apart. 214 00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:17,788 Man, I really messed up that huge career opportunity 215 00:08:17,871 --> 00:08:18,956 all on my own, didn't I? 216 00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:20,081 Uh... 217 00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:25,462 Nothing sabotaged me one bit. 218 00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:26,546 Yep. 219 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:27,631 You said it. 220 00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:30,174 Well, see you later. 221 00:08:30,258 --> 00:08:32,427 [indistinct chatter] 222 00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:33,887 Where can I grab a nosh? 223 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,931 Oh, craft services is in the kitchen. 224 00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:38,016 Up the driveway, through the living room, make a left. 225 00:08:38,141 --> 00:08:40,059 - Can't miss it. - I'm gonna grab a quick bite. 226 00:08:40,143 --> 00:08:42,562 Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. 227 00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:44,815 Okay, fellas, here's the thing about the story. 228 00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:46,190 I don't buy it. 229 00:08:46,274 --> 00:08:47,651 It's like something's missing, 230 00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,277 but I can't put any of my fingers on it. 231 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,362 Um, maybe once we add the music... 232 00:08:51,446 --> 00:08:52,572 The music? Are you kidding me? 233 00:08:52,656 --> 00:08:53,865 Music? You're fired. 234 00:08:53,949 --> 00:08:55,116 What dumb shit brought this dumb shit? 235 00:08:55,199 --> 00:08:56,200 Okay, you're fired too. 236 00:08:56,284 --> 00:08:57,577 Oh, okay. 237 00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:00,204 Anyone else got any bright ideas? 238 00:09:00,288 --> 00:09:01,581 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 239 00:09:01,665 --> 00:09:04,501 Hey, maybe it make it more Diane-y? 240 00:09:04,584 --> 00:09:06,544 - Um, excuse me? - I don't know. 241 00:09:06,628 --> 00:09:08,755 This is probably stupid, but the whole story's 242 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,049 about how this guy's in love with this lady, right? 243 00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:14,427 But we don't even know who she is or what she wants. 244 00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:16,888 I mean, maybe give her more lines or words 245 00:09:16,972 --> 00:09:19,223 or, I don't know, feelings or whatever? 246 00:09:19,307 --> 00:09:20,308 What? 247 00:09:20,391 --> 00:09:22,310 He's new. He doesn't know the rules. 248 00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:24,688 Forgive him, mighty Caesar. 249 00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:31,110 Yes. Yeah. 250 00:09:31,194 --> 00:09:32,195 I love you. 251 00:09:32,278 --> 00:09:33,279 Who is this kid? 252 00:09:33,363 --> 00:09:34,614 You're a genius. 253 00:09:34,698 --> 00:09:35,782 - I'm gonna kiss your face. - What? 254 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:37,784 Oh! [Laughs] 255 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,202 Come back to my web. 256 00:09:39,285 --> 00:09:40,620 Let's talk about Diane's feelings 257 00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:42,080 and make this baby sing. 258 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:44,582 Hey, Todd, talk to him about the wardrobe, 259 00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,584 specifically the top half of the wardrobe, 260 00:09:46,668 --> 00:09:49,462 specifically the shirt part of the top half of the wardrobe, 261 00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:52,716 specifically the neck part of the shirt part of the wardrobe. 262 00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:54,759 [cell phone rings] 263 00:09:54,843 --> 00:09:56,219 Ugh. What now? 264 00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:58,013 I'm sick of this dog and pony show. 265 00:09:58,096 --> 00:09:59,597 The movie is dumb. 266 00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:01,349 Mr. Peanutbutter is annoying the shit out of me, 267 00:10:01,432 --> 00:10:02,976 and there's too much honeydew in the fruit bowl. 268 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,644 Blech. Honeydew is garbage fruit. 269 00:10:04,728 --> 00:10:06,855 Also, why is BoJack being played by an old, nebbishy 270 00:10:06,938 --> 00:10:07,939 five-foot-tall bald guy? 271 00:10:08,023 --> 00:10:09,357 Is that how the world sees me? 272 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,441 Oh, I see. 273 00:10:10,525 --> 00:10:12,861 So I can play Vanya on 42nd Street, 274 00:10:12,944 --> 00:10:15,864 but I'm not a deft-enough talent to capture the essence 275 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:17,949 of the elusive BoJack Horseman. 276 00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:22,037 So sorry to offend you, sir. 277 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,955 I'm just glad my book's coming out soon 278 00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:25,916 so people will get an opportunity to see 279 00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,458 the real BoJack Horseman. 280 00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,086 Oh, are you coming out with a book? 281 00:10:29,168 --> 00:10:30,378 You never mentioned it. 282 00:10:30,461 --> 00:10:31,629 Plus, Todd's being super weird. 283 00:10:31,713 --> 00:10:32,756 I think he's onto me. 284 00:10:32,839 --> 00:10:33,882 Onto you in regards to what? 285 00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,592 Oh, right, I didn't tell you. 286 00:10:35,675 --> 00:10:38,261 I sabotaged his rock opera by getting him readdicted 287 00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,304 to a video game because I didn't want him to move out. 288 00:10:40,388 --> 00:10:42,057 Jesus Christ, BoJack. 289 00:10:42,181 --> 00:10:44,267 Anyway, I think he knows and might be plotting 290 00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:45,727 to sabotage me back. 291 00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:47,604 Why is it that 90% of our conversations 292 00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:49,814 these days revolve around plotting sabotages? 293 00:10:49,898 --> 00:10:51,524 Are you saying I should plot a countersabotage? 294 00:10:51,608 --> 00:10:53,401 No, no more plotting. 295 00:10:53,484 --> 00:10:55,695 Just be a good soldier and do your job. 296 00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:57,072 Nobody is out to get you. 297 00:10:57,155 --> 00:10:58,156 [cell phone beeps] 298 00:10:58,239 --> 00:10:59,824 Have you seen the new draft? 299 00:10:59,908 --> 00:11:01,910 They took it all off you and put it on me. 300 00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,286 What? 301 00:11:03,369 --> 00:11:05,789 Apparently some dickweed named Todd 302 00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:08,083 decided I should be three-dimensional 303 00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,001 and you should have no lines. 304 00:11:10,085 --> 00:11:12,045 Ugh. Isn't this town sick of creating 305 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,338 three-dimensional roles for women? 306 00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:16,174 This happens to me all the time! 307 00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:19,302 A.O. Scott is sick of talking about how brilliant I am. 308 00:11:19,385 --> 00:11:21,471 Todd. 309 00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:23,264 I guess what I've been saying 310 00:11:23,347 --> 00:11:26,267 for the last seven uninterrupted minutes is, 311 00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:30,271 how can I forgive my father if I can't forgive myself? 312 00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:31,898 True dat. 313 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:35,234 But none of that matters, because we bring out 314 00:11:35,318 --> 00:11:36,987 the best in each other. 315 00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:41,658 I'm the chocolate, and you're Mr. Peanutbutter! 316 00:11:41,741 --> 00:11:43,827 - True dat. - Mwah! 317 00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:45,703 Cut! Amazing. 318 00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:47,789 This is the movie that I wanted to make. 319 00:11:47,872 --> 00:11:48,873 This is gonna be great. 320 00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:50,750 - Oh, my God, I'm so... - Ugh, what kind of idiot 321 00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:53,211 puts food on top of a hill? 322 00:11:53,294 --> 00:11:56,131 Hey, so I guess now that the movie's all about Diane, 323 00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:59,176 I really need to dig deep and get to know the real you. 324 00:11:59,258 --> 00:12:02,804 So let's talk and talk and talk until I am you 325 00:12:02,887 --> 00:12:04,764 and you are nothing but a hollowed-out husk 326 00:12:04,848 --> 00:12:07,391 of your former self and every thought and every feeling 327 00:12:07,475 --> 00:12:11,270 you ever had belongs to me and me alone. 328 00:12:11,354 --> 00:12:15,108 So do we like Sprite, or are we more of a 7-Up girl? 329 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,777 Uh, that all sounds great. 330 00:12:17,861 --> 00:12:20,363 But, you know, the person you should really be talking to 331 00:12:20,446 --> 00:12:22,115 is that guy. 332 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,367 - Yeah, okay, I'm done. - Diane loves talking to him. 333 00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:25,952 They have great rapport. 334 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:29,580 In fact, Diane could spend all day talking to him 335 00:12:29,664 --> 00:12:32,167 and never talk to me again. 336 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:36,629 Oh, I get it, because Diane doesn't talk to Diane. 337 00:12:36,713 --> 00:12:39,757 - Diane talks to... - Anybody else. 338 00:12:39,841 --> 00:12:41,342 Hey, Todd, remember that time 339 00:12:41,425 --> 00:12:42,969 when you wouldn't clean up your shit? 340 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,428 That was hilarious. 341 00:12:44,512 --> 00:12:46,430 - We've had some good times. - Oh. Hi. 342 00:12:46,514 --> 00:12:48,266 So I was thinking, I have some... 343 00:12:48,391 --> 00:12:51,228 [sighs] pretty sloppy seconds left over from P.F. Chang's 344 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,521 in the fridge, and I don't think that I want it anymore. 345 00:12:53,604 --> 00:12:54,856 Maybe tonight you could eat it. 346 00:12:54,939 --> 00:12:56,482 Friendly gesture because we're friends. 347 00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:58,526 - Uh... - Oh-oh, there's my guy. 348 00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:00,778 I heard you had a few more thoughts about the script. 349 00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:01,863 I do. 350 00:13:01,946 --> 00:13:04,615 I was just thinking, what if we made the BoJack character 351 00:13:04,699 --> 00:13:06,659 into a real shithead? 352 00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:08,870 - Is that really necessary? - I don't think it's necessary. 353 00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:12,582 Yeah, let's... Let's make him be a real selfish asshole 354 00:13:12,665 --> 00:13:14,834 so the audience has someone to root against. 355 00:13:14,918 --> 00:13:16,211 You're probably right. 356 00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:17,503 Let's take another swing at the script 357 00:13:17,587 --> 00:13:19,047 and give BoJack more to do. 358 00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:20,590 Now, when you say, "Give BoJack more to do"... 359 00:13:20,673 --> 00:13:22,133 Not now, Mr. Peanutbutter. 360 00:13:22,217 --> 00:13:24,094 And also, now that I'm thinking about it, 361 00:13:24,177 --> 00:13:27,889 why does the movie have to take place on Earth? 362 00:13:27,972 --> 00:13:30,600 You are blowing my head. 363 00:13:30,683 --> 00:13:32,476 - I hope you like Oscars. - Honeydew? 364 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,604 More like, "Honey, do I enjoy eating it? 365 00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:36,522 Yes, I do." Right? 366 00:13:36,606 --> 00:13:38,608 Not right, and I would love to go through all the reasons why, 367 00:13:38,691 --> 00:13:40,151 but I've got bigger concerns right now. 368 00:13:40,235 --> 00:13:42,361 - Honeydew, go on. - Did you notice 369 00:13:42,445 --> 00:13:44,155 that the Mr. Peanutbutter part has been cut in half? 370 00:13:44,239 --> 00:13:46,866 - What is happening to our movie? - I thought you hated the movie. 371 00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:48,826 Yeah, I do, but if I'm gonna be in a dumb movie 372 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,245 I hate that makes no sense, 373 00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:51,996 I should at least be the star of it. 374 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,458 Look, I agree that this movie has really lost its way. 375 00:13:55,541 --> 00:13:57,877 I mean, first of all, why would Mr. Peanutbutter 376 00:13:57,961 --> 00:13:59,712 wear a crew neck T-shirt? 377 00:13:59,796 --> 00:14:02,381 And second of all, uh... 378 00:14:02,465 --> 00:14:03,841 It's just the shirt, isn't it? 379 00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:05,093 It doesn't make sense. 380 00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:06,427 I'm a V-neck man. 381 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,221 A V you can put your sunglasses in. 382 00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:09,764 Can you do that with a crew neck? 383 00:14:09,847 --> 00:14:11,599 Because I'd like to see you tr... 384 00:14:11,682 --> 00:14:13,476 Whoa. 385 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,229 [groaning] 386 00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:17,814 Bagel. 387 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,358 Thanks so much for running this scene with me. 388 00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:22,443 I have so many lines to learn. 389 00:14:22,526 --> 00:14:24,862 Yeah, well, most of my lines are, "True dat," 390 00:14:24,946 --> 00:14:26,948 but I guess it never hurts to practice. 391 00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:30,076 The citizens of Planet D want their king back. 392 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,787 But I'm more concerned with getting my self-esteem back 393 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:36,040 after being in the shadow of powerful men for so long. 394 00:14:36,124 --> 00:14:37,208 True dat. 395 00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:38,542 Is it just me, or is this movie 396 00:14:38,626 --> 00:14:40,211 kind of flying off the rails? 397 00:14:40,295 --> 00:14:42,213 Well, I don't want to overuse my catchphrase here, 398 00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:43,673 but true dat. 399 00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:45,383 This is so typical. 400 00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:47,802 I just wanted to do something light and fun 401 00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:52,473 to distract me from the deep well of sadness that is my life. 402 00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:54,309 You probably wouldn't understand. 403 00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:55,768 Oh, puh-lease. 404 00:14:55,852 --> 00:14:57,645 I'm so deep down a well of sadness 405 00:14:57,728 --> 00:15:00,773 that Baby Jessica is like, "Damn." 406 00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:03,484 Shut up and kiss me, you miserable goof. 407 00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:04,861 What? 408 00:15:04,944 --> 00:15:07,905 Oh. Okay. Mwah. 409 00:15:07,989 --> 00:15:09,615 Pop this in a drawer. 410 00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:12,576 Huh? 411 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,330 - [glass shatters] - This is good, baby. 412 00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:16,873 Oh, this is amazing. 413 00:15:16,956 --> 00:15:18,916 Naomi, I haven't felt like this since... 414 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,084 No, no, shh, shh, shh! 415 00:15:20,168 --> 00:15:22,295 Call me Diane. 416 00:15:24,505 --> 00:15:25,882 Okay, got my bagel. 417 00:15:25,965 --> 00:15:27,466 Now back to work. 418 00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:29,344 Hey, guys. 419 00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:30,845 Hey, guys! 420 00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:34,515 Wow, wow. 421 00:15:34,598 --> 00:15:37,394 So you guys really hit it off, huh? 422 00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:38,895 That's awesome. 423 00:15:38,978 --> 00:15:40,397 Want to do some hand stuff in the bathroom 424 00:15:40,479 --> 00:15:41,480 before we go down to set? 425 00:15:41,564 --> 00:15:42,857 You read my mind. 426 00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:46,444 Now, kiss me some sour cream. 427 00:15:46,527 --> 00:15:48,363 Hey, so I finished the book 428 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,198 and sent the draft to the publishers. 429 00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:51,282 What? My book is ready? 430 00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:52,367 Let me read it. Can I read it? 431 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:54,411 Call Pinky. 432 00:15:54,493 --> 00:15:56,371 He'll probably send you a copy as soon as he's done with it. 433 00:15:56,454 --> 00:15:57,997 All right! You hang tight, baby. 434 00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,623 I got an instant classic to read. 435 00:15:59,707 --> 00:16:00,708 Keep the engine running, though, 436 00:16:00,791 --> 00:16:02,252 because if I know me, this book is gonna give me 437 00:16:02,335 --> 00:16:03,544 a pretty big erection. 438 00:16:03,627 --> 00:16:05,380 Okay, enjoy! Keep an open mind. 439 00:16:05,463 --> 00:16:07,090 You'll love it. It's a work in progress. 440 00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:09,926 [telephone rings] 441 00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:11,094 Hello. Penguin Publishing. 442 00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:12,678 Unless this is that loan shark, 443 00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:14,513 in which case, Johnny's House of Noodles. 444 00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:16,224 May I interest you in our bento lunch box? 445 00:16:16,515 --> 00:16:17,808 Pinky, it's me. 446 00:16:17,892 --> 00:16:19,143 Let me read the book. Give me, give me, give me. 447 00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:21,020 Okay, okay, now, I should warn you, 448 00:16:21,104 --> 00:16:24,607 it's not quite what we expected, but it is good. 449 00:16:24,690 --> 00:16:26,359 I'm telling you, this could really sell. 450 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,985 I might actually get to see my kids again. 451 00:16:28,069 --> 00:16:29,070 Great. Send it over. 452 00:16:29,153 --> 00:16:30,529 I'll read it right now. 453 00:16:30,613 --> 00:16:32,282 All right, I sent it, but just remember... 454 00:16:32,365 --> 00:16:34,867 To set my expectations sky-high? 455 00:16:34,951 --> 00:16:36,327 - Way ahead of you. - [cell phone beeps] 456 00:16:36,411 --> 00:16:38,829 All right, book, let's see what you got. 457 00:16:38,913 --> 00:16:41,749 BoJack, this is you. 458 00:16:41,832 --> 00:16:43,376 One Trick Pony? 459 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,211 "The first time I met BoJack Horseman, 460 00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,004 he was puking cotton candy off the deck 461 00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,756 of his lavish house in the Hills, 462 00:16:48,839 --> 00:16:50,716 the lights of the city twinkling below us. 463 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,593 The Make-A-Wish kids will not soon forget 464 00:16:52,676 --> 00:16:54,804 the time the great BoJack Horseman 465 00:16:54,887 --> 00:16:58,015 referred to their parents as 'a bunch of used jizz bags.' 466 00:16:58,099 --> 00:17:01,060 He filled the air with words, terrified of silence, 467 00:17:01,144 --> 00:17:03,396 as one often is who is smart enough to recognize 468 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,899 his many personal failings but unwilling or unable 469 00:17:06,983 --> 00:17:08,651 to take the steps required to fix them. 470 00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:11,279 Got out of the car, stepped out toward the coast, 471 00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:13,114 and looked across the water, 472 00:17:13,197 --> 00:17:16,700 and for a moment, he said nothing." 473 00:17:16,784 --> 00:17:18,786 What the shit was that? 474 00:17:19,787 --> 00:17:21,498 What the shit is this? 475 00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:23,582 It's a phone. Well, a tiny computer, really. 476 00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:25,126 I mean, amazing what technology can... 477 00:17:25,209 --> 00:17:26,752 You were supposed to ghostwrite my memoir, 478 00:17:26,836 --> 00:17:28,463 but instead you wrote a story about how you spent 479 00:17:28,546 --> 00:17:31,048 six months with me and saw what a big, dumb loser I am. 480 00:17:31,132 --> 00:17:33,301 Well, I realized that the best way 481 00:17:33,384 --> 00:17:35,553 to fully capture you, warts and all... 482 00:17:35,636 --> 00:17:37,472 This isn't warts and all. It's just warts. 483 00:17:37,555 --> 00:17:38,515 Where's the all? 484 00:17:38,597 --> 00:17:40,183 I come off like a total asshole. 485 00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:43,060 You come off as complex and deeply troubled 486 00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:44,479 but ultimately sympathetic. 487 00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:46,356 You might be too close to see that. 488 00:17:46,439 --> 00:17:48,899 There's an entire chapter about me eating apple fritters. 489 00:17:48,983 --> 00:17:50,568 You did go through that fritter phase. 490 00:17:50,651 --> 00:17:51,986 Is this book how you see me? 491 00:17:52,069 --> 00:17:53,446 That day we ran errands together, 492 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,780 I thought that we had a really good time, 493 00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:56,366 but you just wrote about how I cried 494 00:17:56,449 --> 00:17:58,117 because the dry cleaner took my head shot down. 495 00:17:58,201 --> 00:17:59,618 You were very emotional. 496 00:17:59,702 --> 00:18:01,454 They didn't even replace me with anyone. 497 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,622 Now it's just a faded spot where my face used to be. 498 00:18:03,706 --> 00:18:05,624 This will actually do wonders for your career. 499 00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:07,043 Trust me. 500 00:18:07,126 --> 00:18:09,003 I mean, you're just a dumb actor 501 00:18:09,086 --> 00:18:10,629 who doesn't know anything about books, right? 502 00:18:10,713 --> 00:18:12,549 - [laughs] - What? 503 00:18:12,631 --> 00:18:13,841 Remember? From before? 504 00:18:13,924 --> 00:18:15,301 Oh, I don't think you understand 505 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,386 what's happening here. 506 00:18:16,469 --> 00:18:18,762 This is not a casual conversation between friends. 507 00:18:18,846 --> 00:18:21,391 This is your boss telling his employee 508 00:18:21,474 --> 00:18:22,933 that she did a bad job. 509 00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:24,977 - Try again. - What? 510 00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:26,937 Start over, but do it right this time. 511 00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:29,440 Nobody is ever gonna see this. 512 00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:32,776 - Ugh! - [cell phone dialing] 513 00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:35,488 - [cell phone vibrating] - Diane? 514 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,574 Hey, Wayne, you still work for BuzzFeed? 515 00:18:37,656 --> 00:18:38,866 Um, yes. 516 00:18:38,949 --> 00:18:40,368 'Cause I got something that's gonna get you 517 00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:44,080 a shit-ton of hearts or digs or smileys 518 00:18:44,163 --> 00:18:47,291 or whatever the hell you measure your journalism with. 519 00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:48,959 Curses! 520 00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:51,879 My evil plan has been defeated, but I'll be back. 521 00:18:51,962 --> 00:18:53,297 You haven't heard the last 522 00:18:53,381 --> 00:18:56,593 of Evil Emperor BoJackitron Horsemaniac. 523 00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:57,718 Oh, no! 524 00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:59,303 You shot a laser at me! 525 00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:01,222 Oh, no! I'm dying. 526 00:19:01,305 --> 00:19:03,641 Oh, no, I'm dead. 527 00:19:03,766 --> 00:19:05,602 And so now that we've escaped 528 00:19:05,684 --> 00:19:08,020 the evil clutches of the emperor, 529 00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:10,773 I'm free to assume my natural form, 530 00:19:10,856 --> 00:19:13,359 an all-knowing floating orb of light? 531 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,485 True dat. 532 00:19:14,569 --> 00:19:16,112 - Cut, cut. - [buzzer sounds] 533 00:19:16,195 --> 00:19:17,530 Come on, guys, this is ridiculous. 534 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,449 Is this even a movie anymore? 535 00:19:19,532 --> 00:19:22,452 Oh, maybe it isn't a movie. 536 00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:25,079 Yeah, maybe it's an immersive smartphone app 537 00:19:25,162 --> 00:19:29,917 or a 21st-century approach to 360-degree media envelopment. 538 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,879 Yeah, or maybe it's just, like, a feeling, you know? 539 00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:35,673 - We've got work to do. - Yeah, yeah. 540 00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:38,092 - Oh, my God, this is so good. - Oh, this is gonna be awesome. 541 00:19:38,175 --> 00:19:39,385 Yes! Go, Todd. 542 00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,803 Hello? 543 00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:42,179 Are you just gonna leave me like this? 544 00:19:42,263 --> 00:19:43,264 Anyone? 545 00:19:43,347 --> 00:19:45,308 Ah! 546 00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:46,767 Oh, good. You're here. 547 00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:48,227 Oh, hi, BoJack. 548 00:19:48,311 --> 00:19:49,853 This whole day's been a shit show. 549 00:19:49,937 --> 00:19:51,689 The book turned out to be a total hatchet job. 550 00:19:51,772 --> 00:19:53,190 The movie's a disaster. 551 00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,693 But thank God I have one good thing in my life, 552 00:19:55,776 --> 00:19:56,819 and that's you. 553 00:19:56,902 --> 00:19:58,279 BoJack, I... 554 00:19:58,362 --> 00:20:00,323 Please let me say this before I lose my nerve. 555 00:20:00,406 --> 00:20:02,450 I spent 50 years roaming the countryside 556 00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:05,077 as a wild stallion, but I am tired of the rodeo, 557 00:20:05,161 --> 00:20:06,663 and I'm finally ready to saddle up. 558 00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:07,746 BoJack... 559 00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:09,290 I guess what I'm trying to say is, 560 00:20:09,373 --> 00:20:11,584 this mustang wants to rest his head in the comforts 561 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,043 of your spacious barn. 562 00:20:13,127 --> 00:20:14,337 Uh, what? 563 00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,963 I'm in love with you, Naomi. 564 00:20:16,046 --> 00:20:17,298 BoJack, they fired me 565 00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:19,967 and replaced me with a ball on a stick. 566 00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,051 I'm so sorry. 567 00:20:21,135 --> 00:20:22,679 But look at the bright side. 568 00:20:22,761 --> 00:20:24,888 Now you and I can just hang out and talk about feelings. 569 00:20:24,972 --> 00:20:27,558 No, but you're not getting it. Boys never get it. 570 00:20:27,642 --> 00:20:30,436 BoJack, I was in character as Diane, 571 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,648 and as Diane, we had a real connection. 572 00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:36,275 But now that I'm off the movie, I'm Naomi again, 573 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,903 and Naomi is not interested in BoJack Horseman. 574 00:20:39,987 --> 00:20:42,532 In fact, she thinks he's kind of gross. 575 00:20:42,615 --> 00:20:44,950 So I didn't fall in love with Naomi Watts? 576 00:20:45,034 --> 00:20:46,035 No. 577 00:20:46,118 --> 00:20:47,620 You fell in love with Diane. 578 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:50,122 Naomi what? 579 00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:51,832 Good-bye, BoJack. 580 00:20:51,915 --> 00:20:52,916 Ugh. 581 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,419 See? Nothing. 582 00:20:58,839 --> 00:21:00,341 What's going on? Why are they packing up? 583 00:21:00,424 --> 00:21:02,510 Oh, glad you're here. This is exciting. 584 00:21:02,593 --> 00:21:04,428 Since we last talked, this film has gone through 585 00:21:04,512 --> 00:21:06,430 - so many permutations. - So many. 586 00:21:06,514 --> 00:21:08,140 First, we reimagined the whole film 587 00:21:08,224 --> 00:21:10,727 as an interactive social-media experience. 588 00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:12,311 Those are the dumbest words I've ever heard. 589 00:21:12,395 --> 00:21:13,396 I know. 590 00:21:13,479 --> 00:21:15,314 So we realized it was actually 591 00:21:15,398 --> 00:21:17,066 more of a floating art installation, 592 00:21:17,149 --> 00:21:18,735 but that didn't feel right either. 593 00:21:18,817 --> 00:21:20,361 We thought, is it a high-end perfume? 594 00:21:20,444 --> 00:21:22,279 A series of interrelated fortune cookies? 595 00:21:22,363 --> 00:21:25,282 A hat that if you turn it upside down, it's a boat? 596 00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:27,785 - No, it's none of those things. - Exactly. 597 00:21:27,868 --> 00:21:29,912 That's why we finally settled on this. 598 00:21:29,995 --> 00:21:30,996 Voilà! 599 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,498 What am I looking at? 600 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:35,752 [Todd] It is a bimonthly curated box of snacks. 601 00:21:35,834 --> 00:21:36,960 I don't know what that means. 602 00:21:37,044 --> 00:21:38,546 I know. It's confusing. 603 00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:40,297 Not the bimonthly that means twice a month, 604 00:21:40,381 --> 00:21:42,800 the bimonthly that means every other month, 605 00:21:42,883 --> 00:21:45,678 and each time it's a different box of snacks. 606 00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:47,971 This is the future of cinema. 607 00:21:48,055 --> 00:21:52,059 You guys, finally, my story has been told. 608 00:21:52,142 --> 00:21:54,937 Okay, that's a wrap, everyone. [claps hands] 609 00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:57,940 Thanks for making this box of snacks a reality. 610 00:21:58,023 --> 00:21:59,024 Let's go home. 611 00:22:00,943 --> 00:22:03,738 What the hell happened to the movie? 612 00:22:03,821 --> 00:22:07,283 Shit, there were snacks here the whole time? 613 00:22:07,366 --> 00:22:08,409 Not bad. 614 00:22:08,492 --> 00:22:10,035 - Whoa! - Look, I get it. 615 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:11,704 You destroyed my big chance at a comeback 616 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,623 as revenge for what I did to your rock opera. 617 00:22:13,706 --> 00:22:17,293 Revenge? Oh, that would have been such a good idea. 618 00:22:17,376 --> 00:22:18,586 Damn it, Todd! 619 00:22:18,669 --> 00:22:20,546 Look, I figured out what you did, 620 00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:23,257 but I've been trying to put it behind me and do my job. 621 00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:26,218 So cutting my part down was not about revenge? 622 00:22:26,343 --> 00:22:27,344 No. 623 00:22:27,428 --> 00:22:29,221 And making BoJack the villain of your movie 624 00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,890 was not a coded statement of your feelings about me? 625 00:22:31,974 --> 00:22:32,975 No. 626 00:22:33,058 --> 00:22:34,769 Oh, okay, great. 627 00:22:34,852 --> 00:22:37,062 Well, I'm... I'm glad we buried the hatchet 628 00:22:37,146 --> 00:22:38,147 and everything's cool. 629 00:22:38,230 --> 00:22:41,818 Uh, actually, you know, everything is not cool. 630 00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:44,361 You ruined my rock opera by using character actress 631 00:22:44,445 --> 00:22:45,904 Margo Martindale to trick me 632 00:22:45,988 --> 00:22:47,615 into playing an addictive video game. 633 00:22:47,698 --> 00:22:49,533 And saying it all together like that, 634 00:22:49,617 --> 00:22:51,201 it all sounds kind of ludicrous. 635 00:22:51,285 --> 00:22:54,037 But still, it was something I cared about, 636 00:22:54,121 --> 00:22:56,540 and what you did really hurt me. 637 00:22:56,624 --> 00:22:58,793 Oh. Well, this feels shitty. 638 00:22:58,876 --> 00:23:01,462 You sure you don't want to just get some revenge real quick... 639 00:23:01,545 --> 00:23:03,547 thump me once in the stones and then we'll be even? 640 00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:04,923 I got to go. 641 00:23:05,007 --> 00:23:09,094 I've got some artisanal popcorns to gauge the mouthfeel of. 642 00:23:09,219 --> 00:23:10,847 - Hey, BoJack. - Yeah? 643 00:23:10,929 --> 00:23:12,181 You want an apple fritter? 644 00:23:12,264 --> 00:23:13,850 Uh, sure. 645 00:23:13,932 --> 00:23:15,518 - Yeah, I bet you would. - [laughter] 646 00:23:15,601 --> 00:23:17,102 I bet you'd like an apple fritter. 647 00:23:17,186 --> 00:23:19,104 Yeah, an apple fritter would be great. 648 00:23:19,188 --> 00:23:21,565 Why? What... What... What's happening here? 649 00:23:21,649 --> 00:23:24,151 "Five Shocking Facts From New BoJack Book"? 650 00:23:24,234 --> 00:23:25,695 No. No! 651 00:23:25,778 --> 00:23:28,405 Um, everyone, please turn off your Internet. 652 00:23:28,489 --> 00:23:29,866 It has gone bad. 653 00:23:29,948 --> 00:23:32,618 I repeat, the Internet has gone foul. 654 00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:34,620 - What a loser. - I'm glad I'm not that guy. 655 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:36,205 Give me your phones. I'm a celebrity. 656 00:23:36,288 --> 00:23:37,498 You have to listen to me. 657 00:23:37,581 --> 00:23:39,291 Look at his deep well of sadness. 658 00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,251 It's hilarious. 659 00:23:41,335 --> 00:23:43,587 Don't look at me. I'm well-adjusted. 660 00:23:43,671 --> 00:23:45,882 - You all want my life. - [laughter] 661 00:23:45,964 --> 00:23:47,424 Uh, what the hell? 662 00:23:47,508 --> 00:23:49,134 I know, I know. But if you just listen for... 663 00:23:49,218 --> 00:23:50,720 You posted your dumb little book on the Internet. 664 00:23:50,803 --> 00:23:52,638 No, I just leaked the first couple chapters, 665 00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:54,348 and people are already talking about it. 666 00:23:54,473 --> 00:23:57,518 This is wildly unprofessional. Who do you think you are? 667 00:23:57,601 --> 00:23:59,478 I know you're mad, and you have every right to be, 668 00:23:59,562 --> 00:24:01,104 but you got to read some of these comments. 669 00:24:01,188 --> 00:24:02,565 People love you. 670 00:24:02,648 --> 00:24:03,816 And they're gonna love you even more 671 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:05,776 when they read the rest of my book. 672 00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:07,570 - Your book? - Our book. 673 00:24:07,653 --> 00:24:09,321 Nobody is gonna read that book. 674 00:24:09,405 --> 00:24:10,573 How do you still not get that? 675 00:24:10,656 --> 00:24:12,742 It is never going to be published. 676 00:24:12,825 --> 00:24:15,118 BoJack, I stand by my work. 677 00:24:15,202 --> 00:24:16,954 This is a really good book. 678 00:24:17,037 --> 00:24:20,290 And if you just give it time, you'll see. 679 00:24:20,374 --> 00:24:22,084 [sighs] 680 00:24:22,167 --> 00:24:23,460 Maybe you're right. 681 00:24:23,544 --> 00:24:24,754 Really? 682 00:24:24,837 --> 00:24:26,589 No. You're fired. 683 00:24:27,256 --> 00:24:29,007 ♪ Back in the '90s ♪ 684 00:24:29,091 --> 00:24:33,971 ♪ I was in a very famous TV show ♪ 685 00:24:34,054 --> 00:24:36,139 ♪ ♪ 686 00:24:36,265 --> 00:24:38,893 - ♪ I'm BoJack the horse ♪ - ♪ BoJack ♪ 687 00:24:38,976 --> 00:24:40,310 ♪ BoJack the horse ♪ 688 00:24:40,394 --> 00:24:42,605 ♪ Don't act like you don't know ♪ 689 00:24:42,688 --> 00:24:45,190 ♪ ♪ 690 00:24:45,274 --> 00:24:49,403 ♪ And I'm trying to hold on to my past ♪ 691 00:24:49,486 --> 00:24:54,199 ♪ It's been so long I don't think I'm gonna last ♪ 692 00:24:54,283 --> 00:24:57,995 ♪ I guess I'll just try And make you understand ♪ 693 00:24:58,078 --> 00:25:02,416 ♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪ 694 00:25:02,499 --> 00:25:06,629 ♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪ 695 00:25:06,712 --> 00:25:08,923 ♪ BoJack ♪