1
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,553
[Todd] You shut down production?
2
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,138
Just for a couple of days.
3
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,806
What is going on over there?
4
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:18,644
- It's a minor injury issue.
- A stunt went slightly awry.
5
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:19,561
Again?
6
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,365
And one of our stars
got a little strangled.
7
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,023
- What?
- Just a little strangled.
8
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,900
Like, the minimum amount of strangled.
9
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:28,153
Everyone's fine now.
It's like it didn't even happen.
10
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,197
- Except...
- Except what?
11
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,325
Some crew members might have taken
some video of the incident
12
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,202
that could leak to the press
at any moment.
13
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,119
But that's it!
14
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,579
Okay, I'm pulling the plug.
15
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:38,497
- [Flip] What?
- No!
16
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,541
It's too dangerous!
We gotta cut our losses.
17
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,335
Cut your losses?
Philbert is a monster hit!
18
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,962
We put your site on the map, boy-o,
19
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,214
so don't get squeamish now
about sunk cost.
20
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,508
Face it: You need us
like a fish needs a bicycle
21
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,052
in Portland, Austin, Boulder,
or Minneapolis, Saint Paul!
22
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,428
You are out of order.
23
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,723
Fine. Switch Boulder and Austin
and move the Twin Cities to the front.
24
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,768
Now, can you give me a chance
to get everything under control?
25
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:03,397
- [Henry slams door] Yes! Yes! Yes!
- [Todd sighs] You have one more chance.
26
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,524
Do you promise me
you can take care of this?
27
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:08,443
I'm clearing my docket.
This is my only priority.
28
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,946
Good,
because my boss has made it very clear
29
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:15,659
that if we let him down, he will, quote,
"eat my ass for dinner."
30
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,204
[theme music playing]
31
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,592
- [high-pitched ringing]
- [ringtone playing]
32
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:19,848
- [phone beeps]
- Hello?
33
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,225
Hey, buddy, well, how ya feeling today?
34
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,853
Weird.
Am I supposed to be on set right now?
35
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,230
You just stay right there.
I'm coming over.
36
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,774
- Okay.
- Do me a favor, though?
37
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,026
Maybe don't watch any TV,
or go on the Internet,
38
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,904
or take any phone calls
from anybody else until I get there, okay?
39
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,131
- What?
- [touch tones beeping]
40
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,198
- Ugh.
- [line ringing]
41
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,449
- Stuart.
- What up?
42
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,534
Draft an email to Biscuits Braxby.
43
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,121
I wanna set up an interview for...
Hold on, I'm getting another call.
44
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,040
You want that part in the email?
45
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,167
- Hello?
- Princess Carolyn! It's Sadie.
46
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,836
Remember me? You wanted my baby,
and you came down to Eden,
47
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,340
then you thought about your past a lot,
and I decided not to give you my baby?
48
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:57,302
Of course I remember you, Sadie.
Unfortunately, this isn't a great time.
49
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,389
Anyway, I got to thinking... I interviewed
a lot of people for adoption.
50
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,391
After I said
I wasn't gonna give them the baby,
51
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,602
They all went cold or nasty. Except you.
You were still nice.
52
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,688
- [tires screech]
- I think that's a sign. [grunts]
53
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,731
- How fast can you get to Eden?
- Why?
54
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,650
My boyfriend left me,
my mama stole my truck,
55
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,069
- and I don't want this baby no more.
- Oh, fish, Sadie.
56
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,987
I'm kind of in the middle
of something now.
57
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,698
You're in the middle of something?
58
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,908
I'm about as deep in contractions
as an apostrophe!
59
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,120
- [panting]
- I know. This is all just coming so fast.
60
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,413
I... Let me call you back.
61
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,082
Okay, but if this baby pops out
and you're not here,
62
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,126
- I'm putting it in a dumpster.
- [gasps]
63
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:33,088
I'm kidding,
I'm giving it to someone else. [grunts]
64
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,427
- Hey.
- Hi.
65
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,430
I always forget how tiny
and Dickensian this place is.
66
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:45,016
It's really great how you don't need
nice things to be happy.
67
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,519
- Yes, I agree. What do you want?
- [door closes]
68
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,842
For the last couple months,
I've had work to distract me,
69
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,942
but now that we're on strangle hiatus,
I can't stop thinking about that "thing"
70
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,825
that happened in the prepiere
of the Philbert.
71
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,821
- "Strangle hiatus?"
- Diane, stay on topic.
72
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,365
- You know what "thing" I'm talking about?
- Yes.
73
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,742
- The thing between us?
- Got it.
74
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,659
When we had sex?
75
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,203
I was on top and then briefly on bottom.
Human-y style?
76
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,121
Yep, I remember.
77
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:09,583
Pickles has no idea,
and I've never felt so guilty in my life.
78
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,066
I hate keeping secrets from people.
79
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,326
It's like Rob Schneider's
surprise party all over again.
80
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,005
You cheating on your girlfriend
81
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,799
is not the same
as Rob Schneider's surprise party.
82
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,635
You're right, this is much less sad
and involves more people.
83
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:25,390
- Just tell Pickles the truth.
- Oh, I'm not good at giving bad news.
84
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,726
- Could you do it?
- What? No!
85
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:31,521
But you're so good at bumming people out.
I'm more of a "good news" guy.
86
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,899
You want your ex-wife to explain the fact
87
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,110
that you cheated with your ex-wife
to your current girlfriend?
88
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:40,781
Well, of course every idea sounds stupid
if you describe what it is.
89
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,366
You're not the only one
who feels gross about that night.
90
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,411
Do you have any idea how shitty I felt
after you left?
91
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,288
So I made you feel gross, and now...
92
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,625
No, you didn't make me anything!
I am gross.
93
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,503
I feel, all the time, like a garbage fire.
94
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,005
And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley,
95
00:04:57,088 --> 00:05:00,717
but a barge, floating out to sea,
with no rudder.
96
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,845
I am a rudderless burning
large garbage barge.
97
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,556
Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way
all the time,
98
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,601
but I don't usually,
and now, for the first time ever, I do,
99
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,686
and I don't know what to do
with that feeling!
100
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,397
- Good! You should feel bad!
- Well, I do!
101
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,441
- Great! Me, too!
- Great!
102
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,525
Great!
103
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:22,864
[both moaning, kissing]
104
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,871
So, what, exactly,
do you think happened last night?
105
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,206
Uh...
106
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,834
I don't know. We shot some stuff?
107
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,254
There was an accident on set
and Gina got injured.
108
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,005
- Oh, my God, she did?
- She's fine.
109
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:42,008
- But some footage has gotten out.
- Footage?
110
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,802
And because of how it looks,
111
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,389
some people might get the impression
that you were trying to hurt Gina.
112
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:50,225
- They're gonna get the impression.
- Right.
113
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,269
- But I wasn't.
- Of course not.
114
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,186
What did happen?
115
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:58,108
So, the two of you are gonna do
a sit-down interview with Biscuits Braxby.
116
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,401
[chuckles] She makes news fun!
117
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,654
Yes. All you need to say is that
you know the footage looks bad,
118
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,155
but you and Gina are actors.
119
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,740
You performed a convincing scene,
120
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,201
and you can't wait
for everyone to see the new season.
121
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,247
Well, it seems like you've got everything
under control.
122
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,001
[sighs] I'm sorry things got so messy
with the show.
123
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,461
I didn't always look out for you
as much as I should have.
124
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,105
I can take care of myself.
I know you've got a lot on your plate.
125
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,758
It's just been so crazy,
this adoption process,
126
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:27,554
but I think once I get a baby,
my life will be less hectic, you know?
127
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,139
Oh, sure.
128
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,892
That is why new mothers always
seem so chilled-out and well-rested.
129
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:32,809
Okay, buddy.
130
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,437
Why don't you save your funny jokes
for the interview?
131
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,398
But please don't make jokes
at the interview.
132
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,900
[both sigh]
133
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,820
Sorry I broke every piece
of furniture you own.
134
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,449
- Will 20 dollars cover it?
- Don't worry about it. But, yes.
135
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,367
- So, what happens now?
- I don't know.
136
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,161
- I have to tell Pickles.
- Yeah.
137
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,414
- I'll tell her you and I had a talk.
- Okay.
138
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,541
- And we're getting back together.
- Wait, what?
139
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,585
- But she's a great girl.
- No, no.
140
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,629
But she is a great girl.
You just don't know her.
141
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,005
No, Mr. Peanutbutter.
142
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,424
I don't want to get back together
with you.
143
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,718
- What?
- I think you misunderstood.
144
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:10,555
- Then why do you keep doing this?
- Why do you keep doing this?
145
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,116
- Because I love you!
- Don't say that.
146
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,184
It's true. I never stopped loving you.
147
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,437
No. We can't do this ever again.
148
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,272
- I'm sorry.
- [sighs]
149
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,359
See? I told you you were great
at giving bad news.
150
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,277
That is not what I wanted to hear.
151
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,617
BoJack, Biscuits. Biscuits, BoJack.
152
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,496
This interview's gonna go down smooth,
like a 1995 Zinfandel.
153
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,457
You ever try one of those '95 zins?
Good year for Zinfandels.
154
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,626
Bad year for Oklahoma federal buildings.
155
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,380
- M'kay.
- Here's how it's gonna go down.
156
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,525
Red light on the camera goes bloop!
I go, "Hey!" You go, "Hey!" I go, "Video?"
157
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,749
You go, "Nah!" I go, "Really?"
158
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,041
You go, "Well..." and you roll me
through the rigamarole.
159
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,975
- Oh, don't...
- Don't forget to plug your show.
160
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,659
Then I go, "Wow. This has been
so illuminating. Thank you so much."
161
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,286
Red light goes boo-de-de-boop,
we'll be out of here before Traffic.
162
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,105
And, yes, I'm talking about
the Stephen Soderbergh movie Traffic.
163
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,108
It's playing on FX tonight,
and I'm hoping to catch it.
164
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,442
Love me some Cheadle.
165
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,946
Am I crazy
or was she kind of hitting on me?
166
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,115
Yeah. You guys have a real flirty energy,
167
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,910
like Matt Lauer and those magazine
cut-outs he now interviews in his kitchen.
168
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,621
- This should be fun.
- Now that's the spirit!
169
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,248
You gotta show me this video.
170
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,971
No, I really don't think
that's necessary.
171
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,520
I'll look like an idiot
if I don't know what I'm talking about.
172
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,546
Just let me see it. How bad could it be?
173
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,174
Cut to: "Ooh, it's really bad!"
But, no, seriously, can I see it?
174
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,718
[sighs]
175
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,554
- [BoJack grunting in video]
- Hey, wow, look at me go.
176
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,681
- [Princess Carolyn's voice] BoJack!
- Oh. Oh!
177
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,725
Oh, look out, I'm getting really, um...
178
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,351
Well, this looks like...
179
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,685
Yeah.
180
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,355
Because I'm actually...
181
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,565
Yeah.
182
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,242
Diane! What have you been up to?
Tell me everything.
183
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,286
Actually, I've been working
on a book of essays...
184
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,049
Okay, I was obviously asking to be polite,
185
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,959
and it's very rude of you
to assume that I care.
186
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,542
I have news that's actually interesting.
187
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:07,213
Girl Croosh is pivoting to video,
and I want you to be the face.
188
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,715
- The face?
- Of the site.
189
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,926
Every woman under 40 will tune in
to hear what you have to say.
190
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,345
And possibly women over 40,
but we have no way of knowing
191
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,389
because they're invisible
to our site metrics.
192
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,932
Stefani... no.
193
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,477
I don't understand.
My parents never said no to me growing up,
194
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,438
so I'm literally incapable
of processing it as a concept.
195
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:27,692
I'm a hypocrite. I'm miserable
and I make other people miserable.
196
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,112
I don't know what I'm doing.
I can't be a trusted news source,
197
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:34,449
or an authority,
or a role model for anybody.
198
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,035
Uh, no one called you a "role model."
Settle down.
199
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,162
- Oh. Um...
- You know what your problem is?
200
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,831
You hold everyone
to an impossible standard,
201
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,750
including yourself.
202
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,753
It's super helpful
for writing hot-take shakedowns,
203
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,006
and clickbait take-downs,
but totally toxic for your personal life
204
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,509
and internalized sense
of self-worth, girl.
205
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,677
But shouldn't we be asking
more of ourselves
206
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,807
- and of the people in our lives?
- Of course. But we all fail, Diane.
207
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,059
The world is unforgiving enough as it is.
208
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:05,188
The least we could do is find ways
to forgive each other and ourselves.
209
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,441
Well, then maybe we should be
more forgiving in our content,
210
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,069
and maybe not publish so many take-downs?
211
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,695
Oh, Diane.
212
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,243
- All right, let's bring in the talent.
- [mumbling]
213
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,086
- [gasps]
- Hey, is this a good time to talk?
214
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,623
No, Stuart. This is a very bad time.
We're about to shoot the interview.
215
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,209
Oh, sorry, I haven't memorized
your schedule.
216
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,920
- You could write it down.
- With what, a quill?
217
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,339
- Okay, Elbridge Gerry.
- What?
218
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,883
Anyway, this lady showed up
at the office
219
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,719
and she was being super annoying,
so I brought her here.
220
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,263
- What lady? [gasps]
- Hey.
221
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,182
Why aren't you answering your phone?
Why aren't you in North Carolina?
222
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,976
We're having a bit of a PR crisis.
223
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,895
As soon as this is settled
I will take the first plane there,
224
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,730
but this is just not the best time.
225
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,859
Look, if you can't do this, don't do it.
226
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,112
My mom worked all the time
and she never made time for me.
227
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,072
I felt so alone growing up,
228
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,825
especially because I never knew my dad
or my twin brother
229
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,161
because our parents broke up
when we were babies,
230
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,204
and wouldn't even talk to each other.
231
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,748
Oh, Tracy, I had no idea.
232
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:06,875
My whole life,
233
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:11,254
all I had was this half of a medallion
with part of a family crest on it.
234
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,174
The crest of a family I'll never know.
235
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,092
- Boring.
- Ex-squeeze me?
236
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,677
Sorry, but your story sucks.
237
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,722
I mean, who wasn't separated
from their family as a baby
238
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,640
and still wears their half of a medallion
239
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:26,144
in the hopes of one day being reunited
with their long-lost twin?
240
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,147
That exact thing happened to me
and you don't see me bitching about it.
241
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,066
- God, get over yourself.
- Get over yourself.
242
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,194
I didn't realize it was a common thing.
243
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:38,156
Well, obviously it is,
so can you get to your point already?
244
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,826
I was getting to it
if you'd quit talking already.
245
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,830
My point is, not every woman is supposed
to be a mother.
246
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:46,915
Maybe you'd be happier
247
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,250
if you freed yourself
from that expectation,
248
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,754
and just lived the life
you'd clearly rather be living.
249
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,755
Two minutes to air!
250
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:57,425
No, that's not... I'm not...
I can't even deal with this right now.
251
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,969
- You need to leave.
- All right, let's go.
252
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,262
She's in one of her moods.
253
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:05,016
I still think it's pretty nutty
we both have the left half of a medallion.
254
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,392
Like, what are the odds?
255
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,771
Nah, it's a completely different thing
with me. Mine is the right half.
256
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,731
- So...
- Oh, okay.
257
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,319
[exhales]
258
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,697
[clears throat] Hey.
259
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,159
- Hello, BoJack.
- Are you okay? You look good.
260
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,702
Yeah, makeup covered the bruises.
261
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,288
- Gina, I'm so sorry.
- Let's just do the interview, okay?
262
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,415
- I'm gonna come clean about everything.
- What?
263
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,917
Everyone needs to know what I did.
264
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,840
- [bell rings]
- [man] Please get in positions.
265
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:33,795
No. Don't do that.
266
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,965
Gina, what I did to you...
I saw the video and it looked pretty bad.
267
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,299
I'll say it was pretty bad.
268
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,634
- It was assault.
- Yeah.
269
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,135
You physically overpowered me,
270
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,097
and if there were any justice,
you would be in jail right now.
271
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,014
Okay, so...
272
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:45,932
But my career,
273
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,269
after so many failed attempts,
is finally starting to take off.
274
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,688
I am getting offers, and fan mail,
275
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,440
and magazine columns
about what a good actor I am.
276
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,693
People know me because of my acting.
277
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,529
And all that goes away if I'm just
278
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,406
the girl who got choked
by BoJack Horseman.
279
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,489
I can't lie about this.
280
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,119
I don't want you to be the most notable
thing that ever happened to me.
281
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,621
I don't want you to be the question
I get asked in interviews
282
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:09,706
for the rest of my life.
283
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,292
- Gina, I...
- You need to do this for me, okay?
284
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,835
Because I just want this to be over.
285
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,129
Can we talk about it,
maybe after the interview?
286
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,048
No. I will be civil to you on set
when we have scenes together,
287
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,176
but otherwise, I never wanna think
about you again.
288
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,346
- Hey, guys, how are we doing?
- So good, Biscuits.
289
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,890
We're so excited to be here,
aren't we, BoJack?
290
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,059
- Um, yeah.
- [buzzer blares]
291
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,688
I'm here with BoJack Horseman
and Gina Cazador,
292
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,024
stars of the hit show Philbert.
293
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,276
Let's cut to the chase. That video.
294
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,321
[chuckles] Oh, my God,
it's so embarrassing.
295
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:46,075
- This is all a misunderstanding.
- I mean, it's kind of hilarious.
296
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,161
We've actually been laughing
about it here on set!
297
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,121
[both chuckling]
298
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,207
Really?
BoJack looks so angry in the video.
299
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,376
And Gina, you look terrified.
300
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,754
Biscuits, we're actors. It's what we do.
301
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,340
- Oh, thank God.
- Yep, actors.
302
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,760
Okay, I gotta ask.
Is the story true? Are you two an item?
303
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,303
[laughs] Busted!
304
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,638
Oh, boy.
Looks like you got your scoop!
305
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,140
Can you give us a kiss?
306
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,516
- Uh...
- Sure thing.
307
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,267
[kisses]
308
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:16,105
- What's it like dating your co-star?
- It's so great.
309
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,816
I'll bet sometimes, though,
you wanna strangle each other, right?
310
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:19,817
Oh, you bet!
311
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,403
- [BoJack chuckles]
- [Gina growling]
312
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,407
Okay, you two.
This has been illuminating.
313
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,743
- Thank you so much.
- [bell rings]
314
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,329
- [man] That's a cut!
- That was amazing.
315
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,412
[Gina] Mm-hmm.
316
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,624
[sighs]
317
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,755
You wanted to see me, Mr. Fondle?
318
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,592
[Henry] I must make love to you.
319
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:48,429
[chuckles] You mean to my brain,
because I have such good ideas.
320
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:51,224
Thanks for the encouragement.
I never got that at my last job.
321
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,517
[Henry] Nice boobs.
322
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,060
That's exactly right.
323
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,938
Those guys were nice,
but they were total boobs.
324
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,232
Anyway, I'm gonna go review
the third quarter budget
325
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,400
with our diagnostics team.
326
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,277
- [Henry] Insufficient power.
- To review the budget?
327
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,201
- [panel beeping]
- [Henry] Insufficient power.
328
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,574
Are you saying I don't have the authority
to do my job?
329
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,410
[Henry] Now entering sleep mode.
330
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:11,953
You wanna sleep with me?
331
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,622
That is not a mode
I'm comfortable with, Mr. Fondle.
332
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,666
[Henry] Please connect to power source!
333
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,749
[gasps]
334
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,878
So first, he said
I had insufficient power...
335
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:21,796
Wow.
336
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,714
Which I have never heard him say
to a man.
337
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,592
And then he asked me to "connect"
to his "power source."
338
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,929
Did you feel physically threatened?
Was there any implication of assault?
339
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,558
Not assault, but he did make a mention
of "low battery".
340
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,811
It is never acceptable to threaten
an employee with battery at any level.
341
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,896
What time is it right now?
342
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,524
For female employees
of one popular website,
343
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,318
the answer is Sexual Harassment O'Clock!
344
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:47,488
What started with the allegations
of one junior executive
345
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,741
has quickly snowballed
into an avalanche of accusation,
346
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:53,077
as women at every level have come forward
347
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,997
with their own harrowing stories
of what happens
348
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,083
when the big hand
meets the little hand.
349
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:04,213
He said he wanted to "...get all up
in my guts with his penis
350
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,048
and ejaculate inside me."
351
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,885
At the time, I just thought
it was typical corporate banter,
352
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,096
but now I'm like, uh...
353
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,598
Look, obviously,
354
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:17,518
men should not be engaging
in predatory behavior at the office,
355
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:21,189
but I'm worried now the pendulum's
gonna swing too far in the other extreme
356
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:24,567
where they'll be held accountable
for that behavior, and that's not ideal.
357
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:27,862
Uh, Henry Fondle is a sex robot,
358
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:31,782
and he should not be a CEO
of any company.
359
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:35,495
[reporter] When you say "sex robot,"
you're speaking metaphorically, right?
360
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,580
No.
361
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:42,043
The board has taken decisive action
to remove Henry Fondle
362
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,504
by placing him
on an indefinite paid leave.
363
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:48,382
Meanwhile, we will be scaling back,
canceling our slate of streaming series
364
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,969
and refocusing on our original mission
of being a website you can go to
365
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:55,014
if you don't know what time it is,
that also doesn't harass anyone.
366
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,475
This is a great day for the women
of this company,
367
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,477
many of whom will be laid off.
368
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,646
- [reporters clamoring]
- [camera shutter clicking]
369
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,566
So, you got a call from your dentist;
no cavities.
370
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,694
Emily Van Camp wants to move
your four o'clock to five.
371
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:13,074
And also, Todd wanted me to let you know
that the network folded,
372
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,910
everyone got fired...
[yawns] And your show is canceled.
373
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,371
- What?
- It's over. It's all over.
374
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,623
What are you talking about?
It's not over.
375
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,833
We just have to find our baby
another home.
376
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,794
Maybe What Time Is It Right Now is gone,
377
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,129
but there are like a billion
other websites, right?
378
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,258
What about that website you go to,
to pay your parking tickets?
379
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,094
Or if we're really desperate, TNT?
380
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,013
The point is we're just getting started,
Princess Carolyn!
381
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,015
- [door grinds]
- Princess Carolyn?
382
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,226
- [phone rings]
- She's gone.
383
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,769
Unless...
384
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,481
I was Princess Carolyn the whole time.
385
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:48,900
Mm.
386
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,987
[in female voice] Oh, fish!
387
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,742
Well, this is it, Henry Fondle.
The end of the line.
388
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:57,994
[man] Hiya, hotshot.
389
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,622
I've been following your career
pretty closely and I like what I see.
390
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:05,084
How'd you like a corner office
at Disney-Fox-AT&T-AOL-
391
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,879
Time-Warner-Pepsico-Viacom-Halliburton-
Skynet-Toyota-Trader-Joe's?
392
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,089
[Henry] Give it to me!
393
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:14,343
Uh, you know this guy just got fired
for sexual harassment, right?
394
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:18,055
Yeah, so he's learned his lesson
and he's ready to reenter the workforce.
395
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,057
[Henry] I have many penises.
396
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,727
[chuckles] You said it, buddy.
Give us a call.
397
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,482
Do you wanna take a ride?
There's something I wanna show you.
398
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,610
[Henry] Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
399
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:33,946
[knocking on door]
400
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,491
Oh, hello.
401
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,328
Shouldn't you be out
"not really strangling" someone?
402
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,662
The last time I saw you,
403
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:44,248
you said you still believed
I could be a better person.
404
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,542
- Do you still believe that?
- I do.
405
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,586
I need you to write one
of your take-downs.
406
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:49,669
- About me.
- What?
407
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,632
You can't write anything
about Gina, but... the other stuff.
408
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,091
Everything. I need to get it out.
409
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:58,929
No. I'm done writing about you,
or for you, or with you.
410
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,556
Diane, please, I need this.
411
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,558
I'm a bad guy
and the world needs to know.
412
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:06,312
There's no such thing as "bad guys"
or "good guys."
413
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,897
We're all just... guys...
414
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,567
who do good stuff sometimes
and bad stuff sometimes.
415
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:15,780
And all we can do is try to do
less bad stuff and more good stuff,
416
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,283
but you're never going to be good.
Because you're not bad.
417
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,619
So, you need to stop using that
as an excuse.
418
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,788
I am asking to be held accountable.
419
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,956
And I'm telling you it's not gonna happen.
420
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:30,002
Whatever you put in that story,
no one is gonna "hold you accountable."
421
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,171
You need to take responsibility
for yourself.
422
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,798
I don't know how to do that!
423
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:34,715
[Diane sighs]
424
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,509
[BoJack grunting]
425
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:38,928
[sighs]
426
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,890
This is it. My special thinking spot.
427
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:46,227
[Henry] Let us put on
a Lionel Richie album,
428
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,479
and finger each other's holes.
429
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,566
Shh. Henry, no.
There'll be time for that later.
430
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,403
[Henry] I love it
when you call me Father.
431
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,486
That's right.
432
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,073
- [Henry] I... I...
- [grunts]
433
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:04,620
[Henry] I love you, Fatheeeeeer...
[powers down]
434
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:09,083
Shh. It's okay. It's over now.
It's all over. [pants]
435
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,043
Oh, man.
436
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:14,921
[grunts]
437
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,172
Okay.
438
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,125
[Princess Carolyn chuckles] Aw.
439
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,931
She's beautiful.
What are you gonna call her?
440
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,559
Untitled Princess Carolyn Project.
441
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,145
But not really, though, right?
442
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,735
Hey, do you think my cactus is gonna be
okay if I'm not there for six weeks?
443
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,612
Yeah, I think
your cactus is gonna be okay.
444
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,116
- Is this a mistake?
- No.
445
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,123
Wow, it feels so weird to be eating here.
446
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,292
So, this is what it's like
from the other side.
447
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,960
Pickles, I took you here
448
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,755
because I wanted you to be somewhere
you felt comfortable.
449
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,965
Aw, that's so sweet, Mister.
450
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,634
Because I need to talk to you
about something.
451
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:03,429
Oh, no, this is really bad.
Why would you do this to me?
452
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,764
I didn't tell you what it is.
453
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,308
No one ever "needs to talk"
about something good!
454
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,685
No one ever says,
"I need to talk to you: Happy Birthday"
455
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,354
or, "I need to talk to you:
Felicity Jones hired a new stylist
456
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,690
and her red carpet looks this season
are to die for!"
457
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,860
Well, good news first:
Felicity Jones did hire a new stylist,
458
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,988
but sadly,
her fashion choices just aren't popping.
459
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:24,909
Oh, no! This is bad news!
Well, thank you for telling me.
460
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,827
That isn't the thing
I was going to tell you.
461
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:27,995
There's more bad news?
462
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,915
Is it worse or not as bad
as the Felicity Jones thing?
463
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,000
Well, it's different...
464
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,878
Whatever it is,
we're going to get through it together.
465
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:40,424
Whatever it is, I love you,
and nothing's going to change that.
466
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:43,928
Nothing you say is going to make me
stop loving you, no matter what.
467
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,930
Pickles... I...
468
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:47,723
What is it?
469
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:51,352
- [grunts] Will you marry me?
- [squeals]
470
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,692
What do I say... when I go in?
471
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:03,489
You say, "Hello. I am BoJack.
Horseman, obviously.
472
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,407
You've probably heard of me.
I'm very famous.
473
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,785
So... Sober me up, please!"
474
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,662
What if I get sober...
475
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,915
and I'm still the same awful person
I've always been,
476
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,708
only more... sober?
477
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,378
I think that is a very real possibility.
478
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,004
- Don't be shitty.
- I'm not.
479
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:22,466
Rehab is not a cure-all that's gonna
suddenly make you not an asshole.
480
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,844
Then why are we doing this?
Let's turn around and go home.
481
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,279
- You wanna go home?
- Is that okay?
482
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:27,805
Look, you have two options.
483
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,099
You can go back home
and try to do things your way,
484
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,767
like you've been doing all your life,
485
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,562
or you can see what these guys
have to offer.
486
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,567
I don't understand
why you're being so nice to me.
487
00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:42,486
After everything you know about me,
all the shit I put you through.
488
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:46,991
When I was in high school,
I had this friend. Abby.
489
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:49,910
She was my only friend
and we did everything together,
490
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:53,873
until she got adopted by the cool kids
and then she turned on me...
491
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:55,291
so fast.
492
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,836
She used every secret she knew about me,
every vulnerability.
493
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:02,172
She made me miserable
my entire sophomore year.
494
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:06,844
But then that summer
when her mom got sick, like really sick,
495
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:10,306
and all her cool friends were off
vacationing in Martha's Vineyard,
496
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,850
- I was there for her.
- Why?
497
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:17,229
Because I'm an idiot. And it was Abby.
498
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:20,900
And I hated her,
and I will never forgive her,
499
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:25,237
but she needed me and...
she was my best friend and I loved her.
500
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:30,618
And now... you're here, and I hate you,
501
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:34,872
but you're my best friend,
and you need me.
502
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:36,957
[inhales, exhales]
503
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,711
You know what you're gonna say?
You wanna practice?
504
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,506
I'm gonna say,
"Hello. I am BoJack Horseman.
505
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,342
Obviously, you know who I am,
506
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,428
because I'm very famous,
and also we called ahead.
507
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,724
And I am here because... I need help."
508
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:01,522
[chuckles]
509
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,826
[door opens, closes]
510
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,709
[car door closes]
511
00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:23,253
[sighs]
512
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:55,160
[music playing]