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00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,926
[techno music playing]
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00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:19,228
♪ In Los Ageless
The winter never comes ♪
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♪ In Los Ageless
The mothers milk their young ♪
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- [BoJack] Nothing's lonelier than a party.
- [exhales]
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Good thing I don't need anyone
or I might feel lonesome.
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- Watch your six.
- I'd rather watch your six.
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[woman chuckles]
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[techno music playing]
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- [gunshot]
- [gasping]
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- [grunts]
- [Gina gasps]
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- Hmm.
- [gun cocks]
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- What the hell?
- [director] Cut!
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Come on, guys. Pay attention.
The squib didn't fire.
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- What did I do?
- Not you. Squib. Squib.
15
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- The squib.
- I don't need any help. Thank you.
16
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- You're doing great, BoJack.
- Yeah?
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00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:59,184
And I did a great job watching you,
which is most of what producing is.
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We're doing it, buddy! First day!
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Listen, I still have some questions
about my character,
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and the script, and the show,
and you asking me to do this show,
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- and me saying, "Yes".
- Hey, can we get rid of Philbert's watch?
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The network doesn't want us
to remind the audience
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about the existence of clocks.
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And why we're making a TV show
for What-Time-Is-It-Right-Now-dot-com,
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which is a website for people
who don't know their computers
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already have built-in clocks
at the corner of the screen?
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All your questions will be answered.
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But in the meantime,
would it kill you to smile?
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[remote clicking]
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[grunts]
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[theme song playing]
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[gunshot]
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- [grunts]
- [Gina gasps]
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Dierdre! I should have known!
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Just like a bitch to shoot me
in the heart, bitch.
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Good thing I carry this flask
full of my dead wife's blood around.
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[director] And, cut.
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Hey, Flip. Can I ask why I'm calling
her a bitch twice?
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The first bitch is her.
The second bitch is your heart.
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Okay, you know, I have some questions
about my character.
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[sighs]
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[beeping]
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- I have two minutes.
- Okay, well, my first question is...
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- BoJack Horseman...
- Oh, jeez. Here we go.
45
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,685
...and Mr. Peanutbutter
on the same studio backlot?
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- One sec...
- What is this?
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00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,813
- A mismatched buddy comedy...
- No.
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...about two guys
from different sides of the tracks
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who learn to respect each other
because they have a common interest?
50
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- Who's this guy?
- Ignore him. Why...
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And a grudging respect
blossoms into real friendship
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as they set aside their differences
to achieve a shared goal...
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- Stop it.
- ...each bringing their own strength
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to the table,
and possibly there's a karaoke scene?
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Why does John Philbert's house
look the same as my house?
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I've never been to your house.
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The set was designed to reflect
Detective Philbert.
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Spare, lonely, precariously balanced
on a hill of his own isolation.
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It kind of looks
like David Boreanaz's house.
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The set designer
actually took a tour there.
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Oh, that's very interesting.
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Why are you here?
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I'm playing Julius Caesar
on the stage next door, in a movie!
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Well, it's a short film.
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- I gotta run.
- Wait!
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I'll see you next time
I'm Roman around the lot!
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- Flip, when can we talk?
- Tomorrow morning.
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- Hi.
- Hey.
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[drums playing]
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[grunts, groans]
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- [pants]
- Yikes, was that it? You done?
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- [exhales]
- Wow.
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Sorry, I can't do you.
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I'm too distracted, I'd just do a bad job.
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You know your own body better than me
anyway so just go to town.
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Yeah, I'm gonna go.
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Wait, Gina.
Can I ask you a question, about you?
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Uh-huh?
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Do you think I'm right, and
the Philbert character is poorly written,
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and Flip needs to write him better,
so I don't look so bad?
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Look, I do one of these shows every year.
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And I keep getting hired
because I show up, do the work,
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and keep my head down.
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But do you love this script?
Do you love your character?
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Do I love Internal Affairs Director
Sassy Malone,
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whose primary character traits
are that she hates bras
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and loves cold rooms?
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Not especially.
It feels gratuitous and male-gazey.
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But it pays for my expensive habit
of having a mortgage
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- in Southern California.
- You don't have to go.
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We could hang out.
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I'm sure you don't wanna be all alone
in a house by yourself.
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No, I love being alone.
I wish I were alone right now.
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- [door opens, closes]
- [sighs]
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[inhales, exhales]
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Huh.
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- [phone beeps]
- [line ringing]
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[Hollyhock grunts] BoJack? Why are you up?
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I could ask you the same question.
100
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Now you're in college
you don't need to sleep anymore?
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No, I was sleeping.
102
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You called me and woke me up.
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Oh, right.
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I wanted you to know
that I hearted your Instagram photo.
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Okay, cool.
106
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Well, there were 23 other hearts.
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But I don't know if you know
who they're all from, but one was from me.
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Yeah, they let me know.
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Oh, cool, cool.
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Okay, I'm going back to sleep.
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Fine, but this phone call does not replace
our weekly Sunday call. Okay?
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Yeah, I'll talk to you Sunday afternoon.
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Yes. Good. Because I miss you.
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Sorry, that sounded dumb.
I don't miss you, I'm just bored.
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- That also sounded dumb.
- I miss you too, BoJack.
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[phone beeps]
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[Todd panting]
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Good morning, lovebugs!
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Don't mind me, just passing through!
Not sneaking a peek at the lovebugs!
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There's nothing to see
that would embarrass any of us.
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- We are all fully clothed.
- Ha-ha. If you say so!
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What are you gonna do
while I'm at work all day?
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There's an old frog
who lives down in the L.A. River.
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He owes me an egg salad sandwich,
on account of a caper we once went on.
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- What?
- I was gonna see if he wants
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to make instruments out of shoeboxes
and rubber bands.
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And, uh, that will satisfy you?
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When your life is ends,
and you're looking back at this day,
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you'll think that was a good day?
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Yeah?
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Well, from your preliminary paperwork
you seem like a perfect candidate.
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Thanks, I just never thought
it would be like this.
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I mean, my mom popped out kids
by the dozen. And I can't even...
134
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Mnh-mnh. Princess Carolyn,
is your name Cutie Cutie Cupcake?
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- No, that's...
- Were you born on August 12th, 1947?
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- I...
- Do you sleep with your hands stuffed
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- in lotion-filled socks?
- No.
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Right, because you are not your mother.
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- How did you know...
- What you are is noble,
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honorable, and unimpeachable.
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Anyone can just have a baby.
But to adopt one? That takes a hero.
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It takes a selfless, giving,
kickass superwoman
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who's willing to take out
her checkbook right now
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and write the adoption agency
a check for $60,000.
145
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Well. [sighs] Okay.
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Fabulous.
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I'm just so glad
that I'm on this journey with you.
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Princess Carolyn,
I'm with you every step of the way,
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from you giving me this check
all the way to me introducing you
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to your new caseworker, Tracy.
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- Hey.
- Ah!
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You're in wonderful hands, bye!
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Uh, what...
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Congratulations. What are you,
like, five months pregnant?
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No, I'm not a birth mother. I'm adopting.
156
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Oh, that makes sense.
'Cause you're so old.
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Is Mikhaela ever coming back?
158
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- [scoffs] Yeah, in your dreams.
- [sighs]
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Yes. Yes. No. Yes. What?!
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00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:10,198
Jeanine, the script
calls for hot and haunted.
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Does this girl look hot
and haunted to you?
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Yeah, I'm sure she was hot
for Shakespeare in the Park,
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but I need TV hot.
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00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,458
- Actually, she's starting to look haunted.
- [door opens]
165
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,503
- Hey! Uh, this a bad time?
- It's fine.
166
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I can talk to you and also judge
these women's bodies at the same time.
167
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What do you want?
168
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Okay, well, first of all,
the script is great.
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Really top-notch stuff.
I love the whole... thing of it.
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I just wanted to clarify some things
about Philbert as a character.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah, okay, on page three,
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is it necessary that Philbert
can only orgasm if he's listening
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- to a recording of his dead wife's voice?
- Yes.
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Okay, well, what about this thing
on page eight
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where he goes to a strip club and just
sits in the back with a sketch-pad
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and draws the strippers,
while a Leonard Cohen song plays?
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What about it?
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It's just that
all of these half-naked women.
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I mean, I understand it.
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00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:06,171
I'm just worried it might come across
as gratuitous and, uh, male-gazey,
182
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,589
which I know it isn't!
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00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,800
Hmm. You know what? You girls can go home.
184
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,010
The stripper scene's cut.
185
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:12,927
- No.
- Seriously?
186
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,180
- Uh, oh. Uh...
- How am I gonna feed my baby?
187
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,099
I just got an idea for something better.
188
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:23,229
So, instead of drawing strippers naked,
you're just going to draw Gina naked.
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00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,147
[BoJack] Uh...
190
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:28,902
Gina, BoJack was concerned the old scene
was gratuitous and male-gazey.
191
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,612
Oh, he was? BoJack said that?
192
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,782
[Flip] This is much more interesting
and motivated by character.
193
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,828
And since it's motivated by character,
that means it's not gratuitous.
194
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,164
Thank you for the note, BoJack,
you really helped.
195
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,374
Yeah. Thanks, BoJack, for helping.
196
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,251
- Oh, um...
- [Flip] Can we get some ice?
197
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,712
Can we get some nipple ice for Gina?
198
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,135
- So, you're the famous Yolanda.
- I am not famous.
199
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,888
You might have me confused
with another more famous Yolanda.
200
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,933
I know, I-I just meant
because Todd talks about you so much,
201
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,684
I feel like you're famous.
202
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,019
Oh, well, that was not clear.
203
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,605
Okay. Todd, why don't you say things now?
204
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,857
Steve, you still fixing up your truck?
205
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,069
You're thinking of Emily's old boyfriend,
firefighter Steve D'Marco.
206
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,155
Yeah, I'm firefighter Steve D'Mazio.
We're very different.
207
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,324
But I do have a truck,
and I'm fixing it up.
208
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,575
So, thanks for asking.
209
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,912
I created a dating app
for firefighters to meet me.
210
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,598
- Looks like it worked.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
211
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,167
Hey! We should create a dating app
for asexuals.
212
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,378
Why would asexuals want a dating app?
213
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,005
Well, not all asexuals are aromantic.
214
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091
- Uh...
- Think of it this way.
215
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,803
One could be: A, Romantic,
or B, Aromantic,
216
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:41,141
while also being A, Sexual, or B, Asexual.
217
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,977
So you could be BB, or BA.
218
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,729
As for me, see AB, see?
219
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,647
Uh...
220
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,776
So, even within the one percent
of the population that's asexual,
221
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,987
there's an even smaller percentage
222
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,614
that is still looking
for romantic companionship.
223
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,117
Seems like a pretty thin user base
for an app.
224
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,413
But without it, asexual romantics
might end up settling for just whatever
225
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,709
other asexual romantics they might meet,
even if they have nothing else in common.
226
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,295
- Well, anyway...
- Yeah, but maybe it's good
227
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,631
if they have nothing in common
because then they can help each other grow
228
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:17,135
and change, and become fuller,
more well-rounded people.
229
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,511
Yeah, that's true.
230
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:22,682
So, Todd, are you still doing
that rabid clown-dentist exercise thing?
231
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:28,146
Oh, no, that whole thing kinda fell apart
when the clowns got loose.
232
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,273
[mystery music]
233
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,857
Huh?
234
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,612
I know you killed your wife, Philbert,
and I'm gonna prove it.
235
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,030
[Mr. Peanutbutter] Wow!
236
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,240
Don't finger me for a murderer, Malone.
237
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,004
I don't know
where those fingers have been.
238
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,327
[Mr. Peanutbutter] Ooh!
239
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,579
Well, how about I show you?
240
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,581
- [Mr. Peanutbutter] Wow!
- [Flip] Cut!
241
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,876
Someone keeps shouting "Wow" and "Ooh."
242
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,086
You guys are doing a bang-up job
over here.
243
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,506
So sayeth Caesar! King of the apes!
244
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,270
Look, man, I know what you're doing, okay?
245
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,802
You're trying to punish me.
Just don't punish Gina.
246
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,512
I'm not trying to punish anyone.
247
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:05,266
I'm just trying to make a good show
that's brilliant and unprecedented.
248
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,560
It sounds like you guys
are basically on the same page.
249
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,270
You're the only one with a problem here.
250
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,898
- Gina is fine with it.
- Gina is not fine with it.
251
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,651
You guys, you're almost saying
exactly the same thing.
252
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,236
Except one of you is saying "not".
253
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,530
Gina, do you have a problem
with the nudity in this scene?
254
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:22,492
It's great. It's brilliant, unprecedented.
I'm gonna get some potatoes.
255
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,744
You see? Everyone's fine with it but you.
256
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,954
So, can we drop it?
257
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,915
I know you're used to being
the most important person on set.
258
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,643
- This is not about me.
- It's weird for you
259
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,960
that I don't need to listen.
260
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,044
- I'm not...
- Hey, hey...
261
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,255
But if you actually have notes
that are helpful,
262
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:38,424
I would love to hear them when
you're done swinging your dick around.
263
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,402
- No, this is not about my dick.
- Okay, fellas...
264
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:44,013
- Well, maybe it should be about your dick.
- What?
265
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,891
Since you're so concerned
about the male gaze,
266
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,560
let's give the females
something to gaze at.
267
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,313
We'll do a full-frontal nude scene
with you.
268
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,315
This is compromise!
This is working together.
269
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,110
- Well, hold on.
- Fully exposed, Philbert reaches up
270
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,862
- with both hands to screw in a light bulb.
- Yes!
271
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,991
He totters in little circles
on a tiny stool.
272
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:07,787
- Wouldn't I just turn my wrist?
- Full body rotation. We see everything.
273
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:08,788
Now we're talking!
274
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,498
- No, we're not! Princess...
- I'm on it.
275
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,333
Flip, BoJack can only do this scene
276
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,769
- if he can wear a T-shirt.
- What?
277
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,962
He's very self-conscious
about his belly area.
278
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,756
No, I'm self-conscious
about my penis area.
279
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,675
He can't wear a shirt.
280
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,302
It's about being vulnerable.
281
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:26,723
We see every fold and imperfection
of his wrinkled, saggy body.
282
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,890
- Hey!
- So we like him.
283
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,018
But he has to be fully erect
so we respect him.
284
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,561
- What?
- We'll shoot it tomorrow.
285
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,354
- Yeah.
- Unless you don't like this idea,
286
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,565
in which case, we can go back
to what we were doing.
287
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,482
- Right.
- Well...
288
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,726
So, you would be admitting
that you don't actually care
289
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,362
about the male gaze
and you were only giving me notes
290
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,989
to hear yourself talk.
291
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,991
But that's not it, right?
292
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,074
- Right.
- Great.
293
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,678
- Shooting is tomorrow afternoon.
- Okay.
294
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,621
- I'll send the waxing kit over tonight.
- Philbert waxes?
295
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,709
Not for cosmetic purposes.
He just wants to feel something.
296
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,004
- [chuckles]
- Huh?
297
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:01,257
I like your friend.
It's impressive how she creates companies.
298
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,760
And her boyfriend has
an interesting career as well.
299
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,054
Yeah! And you have an interesting career.
300
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:09,307
Hey! The three of you
all have interesting careers.
301
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,017
That is so cool!
302
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,019
Todd, do you ever feel weird
303
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,271
that you have
no discernible life direction?
304
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,647
- No.
- Let me rephrase that.
305
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:19,776
I feel weird that you have
no discernible life direction.
306
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,027
- Oh.
- I mean...
307
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,530
- What am I supposed to tell people?
- A story? A joke?
308
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,409
Compliments are things
people like being told sometimes.
309
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:33,414
I'm sorry. How was your day?
Did you end up meeting with that frog?
310
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,167
No, I just stayed home
and looked at stuff on the Internet.
311
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,417
Oh.
312
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,591
- [gasps]
- Hello, Princess Carolyn.
313
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,114
You're not Princess Carolyn.
Why are you not Princess Carolyn?
314
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,930
- She gets home pretty late.
- I came all this way for nothing?
315
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,640
I brought my spinny chair
and everything!
316
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,976
Well, if you want something to do,
you could help me find a job.
317
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,687
- You're looking for a job?
- I spent all day looking!
318
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,891
First, I thought
I should get a newspaper to find one,
319
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,067
but then I was, like,
"Where do I find a newspaper?"
320
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,318
- Uh.
- So, I looked it up.
321
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,278
And a map came up of my local area.
322
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,864
So, then I thought about
how I know this area pretty well,
323
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,283
but there's all kinds of areas
I don't know.
324
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,160
- Like South Africa.
- Okay.
325
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,788
- And then I thought about Charlize Theron.
- Uh, right.
326
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,082
And then I thought about
that movie Monster.
327
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,501
And then I was, like,
"What year did that come out?"
328
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,344
- So I went to Monster.com...
- [pc clacking]
329
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,672
...to look up facts
about the movie Monster,
330
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,425
and it turns out
they have job postings there!
331
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,427
- [Bojack sups]
- What a time to be alive!
332
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,762
Hey! A posting for
WhatTimeIsItRightNow.com!
333
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,056
[Todd] Oh, a janitor job.
334
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:35,017
I've always wanted to... Janet!
335
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,687
I just got an amazing idea.
Interview for that job!
336
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,022
Uh... Was that your amazing idea?
337
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,191
Because I feel, like,
it kinda came out of the room.
338
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,652
When you get in the building,
say you need to use the WC.
339
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,447
Then you'll sneak into the office
of one of the network execs.
340
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,283
Go into their email
and send a message to Flip McVicker
341
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,618
telling him he can't film
any more nude scenes
342
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,662
because they're derivative
and unnecessary,
343
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,040
- especially the nude scenes involving me.
- You are throwing a lotta words at me.
344
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,502
Todd, don't you get it?
We're gonna save the show!
345
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,462
You're on a show?
346
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,885
This is a very impressive resume.
347
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,680
Yep. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I must adjourn to the restroom.
348
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:16,476
You founded a ride-share app.
You built and managed your own theme park.
349
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:19,187
And you were, briefly,
Governor of California!
350
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,689
I was also the director
of a Star Wars movie,
351
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:24,025
but they fired me
over "creative differences."
352
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,152
Now about that restroom...
353
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,905
Hold on. You are way overqualified
to be a janitor.
354
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:33,659
- Okay. But I do actually need to go.
- Oh, you need to go, all right.
355
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,704
- Straight to the top of this company!
- [gasps]
356
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,124
We're ready for you on set, Mr. Horseman.
357
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,042
Just a minute.
358
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,586
- [cell phone rings]
- All right! Todd, did you do it?
359
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,588
[woman on phone]
Hold please for Mr. Chavez.
360
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,633
- Already I don't like this development.
- [Todd] Hey! Good news, bad news.
361
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:52,470
Good news is I'm now President
of Ad Sales and Streamable Content
362
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,097
for WhatTimeIsItRightNow.com and...
363
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,183
- WhatTimeIsItGo.
- [BoJack] What?
364
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,185
Bad news is I can't help you.
365
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,271
Why not? You're their boss now.
You can tell them what to do.
366
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:06,567
I could, but I'm no leader at all
if I can't delegate authority.
367
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,612
- I need to focus on big picture stuff.
- [grinding]
368
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,906
Loving that picture.
Can we get it even bigger?
369
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:15,785
Ugh, Todd, your good-hearted naiveté
has once again conspired
370
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,247
with outrageous happenstance
to completely dick me over!
371
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,832
Have you tried just talking
to the show runner?
372
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,293
In my experience,
I've found it's best to shoot straight,
373
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,880
in the boardroom and on the driving range.
374
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,298
- [grunts]
- I gotta jet.
375
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,927
It's Susie in HRs birthday
and if I don't show up to these things,
376
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,470
people talk, you know what I mean?
377
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,097
- I never do!
- [cell phone beeps]
378
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,058
- Hey, Flip, we need to talk.
- Okay.
379
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,810
- I'm not doing the naked scene.
- What?
380
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,937
The only reason you wrote it
is to embarrass me.
381
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,982
BoJack, I'm not writing scenes
for my television show
382
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,151
and also directing them
in order to teach you lessons
383
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,195
or send you secret messages.
384
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,155
I'm just trying to make a good show.
385
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,784
- Why do you keep making it so difficult?
- I'm making it difficult?
386
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,036
I have done nothing,
but be a friend to you.
387
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:03,749
I actually called my mom last night
and told her that I made a friend on set.
388
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,252
Do you wanna make me a liar to my mother?
389
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,547
- What? Ew. Weird.
- Take off that robe and go to set.
390
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,924
- No.
- Take off that robe right now.
391
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,303
Why can't you act like a professional
and get naked?
392
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:19,348
Because it's dumb!
This whole show is duuuuuuumb!
393
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,266
What?
394
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,852
It's confusing, it's overwritten,
and it's poorly lit.
395
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,230
The darkness is a metaphor for darkness!
396
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,857
And worst of all, it's boring!
397
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,819
It has nothing to say,
and it says that nothing badly!
398
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,656
[inhales] Let me tell you
how this is going to be.
399
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,325
I am the show creator
400
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,786
and if I want your character to get naked,
he gets naked.
401
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:44,540
If I want him to speak only in Korean,
you're learning Korean.
402
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,584
If I want your character to shit his pants
403
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,629
and walk around with shit in his pants
for the rest of the season,
404
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,352
- you will do just that.
- [mystery music]
405
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,341
- Oh, come on.
- You signed a contract.
406
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,509
And that means I am your god.
407
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,887
You will please your god,
408
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,850
and if I don't see your ass on set
then I will see your ass in court.
409
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,143
Do you understand?
410
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,561
[groans]
411
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,189
That's a good note about the lighting.
I'll take a look at that.
412
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,194
Good news! We found a birth mother!
413
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,862
Really? A-already?
414
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,113
She came in yesterday.
415
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,824
She's giving her baby
to a sweet couple in Illinois.
416
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,242
- What?
- Oh...
417
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,870
Did you think we found
a birth mother for you?
418
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,372
Conceited much?
419
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:27,124
Tracy, I’m spending a lot of money
to be here with you
420
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,669
and I'm putting myself
in a very vulnerable position.
421
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,171
Is there any way
you can be a little more thoughtful
422
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,964
with the way you manage me as a client?
423
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,926
It sounds like what you're looking for
is an adoption manager.
424
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,136
This is an adoption agency.
425
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,013
- Do you not know the difference?
- [sighs]
426
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,556
- [cell phone buzzes]
- What?
427
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,934
Princess Carolyn, I overplayed my hand.
428
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,811
BoJack and I got into a fight.
429
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,230
- And he never showed up on set.
- What?
430
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,606
- [horn blaring]
- What?
431
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:55,194
[BoJack] Princess Carolyyyyyyyn,
I need to talk to youuuuuu.
432
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,277
[sighs]
433
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,907
- BoJack.
- Hold on, I got a thing with a chair.
434
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,242
How did you even find me?
435
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,120
Duh. Bought a burner phone,
slipped it into your purse,
436
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,705
and then used the Find My Phone app.
437
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:06,664
How thoughtful.
438
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,249
[deep voice] Hello, Princess Carolyn.
439
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,208
Oh, God.
440
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,085
I have a plan and I need your help.
441
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,754
- I found out his mom has a fake leg.
- Who's mom?
442
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:18,134
Flip. I'm gonna seduce her, steal her leg,
and then smack him across the face with it
443
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,927
until he chokes on his own blood.
444
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,055
It's subtle,
but I think he'll get the message.
445
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,099
BoJack, what are you trying
to accomplish here?
446
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,934
I-I don't want to do the show.
447
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,894
So you're gonna run away
like you always do?
448
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,896
Yeah. I never wanted to do this show!
449
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,482
- You faked my signature!
- And I told you that,
450
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,527
and you said, "Okay" because you wanted
to be a good friend to me!
451
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,447
So, you can't get points for that
and then resent me for it now.
452
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,700
- It's not about you! I don't like him!
- Oh, Flip's not that bad.
453
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,327
He's just insecure
and is overcompensating a little.
454
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,371
I know that must be
a foreign concept for you.
455
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,248
No, not Flip. Philbert.
456
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:53,210
He-he's a drunk.
He's an asshole. I don't want to be him.
457
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,671
So, maybe don't be the drunk asshole.
458
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,341
Maybe this time, you have a good attitude
and you don't drink so much
459
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,010
and you show up at your call time.
460
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:06,182
And then you put on the Philbert costume
and you pretend to be this other guy.
461
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,477
And then when you're done shooting,
you take off your costume
462
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,938
and you're BoJack, the star of the show
that everybody likes.
463
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,148
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
464
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,778
Hey, why are we at an adoption agency?
Are you adopting something?
465
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,654
- I'm trying to.
- Oh.
466
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:23,741
So, can you keep it together
for the next ten weeks
467
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,494
so I don't need to come to set,
every day, to put out fires?
468
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,788
You think you could do that? For me?
469
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,082
[inhales]
470
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:34,919
[exhales]
471
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,045
[Flip] Action.
472
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,090
[Diane] Hey, stranger.
473
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:45,262
It sounds like you had an amazing trip.
474
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:47,640
I did. What have you been up to?
475
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,059
Well, I did play Julius Caesar
in a pizza commercial
476
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,979
that they're going to... [chuckles]
...get this, show in movie theaters.
477
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,106
Wow, look at you. Pizza.
478
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,983
Et Cru-Dités?
479
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,360
- What?
- That was my line.
480
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:03,614
I played Little Caesar's dad, Big Caesar,
in the back story part of the commercial,
481
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,034
which is funny because most commercials
don't even have a back story part.
482
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,495
Also, Little Caesar's
doesn't sell crudités.
483
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,289
Oh, man, my part's definitely going
to get cut, huh?
484
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:14,250
Just like the real Caesar!
485
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,793
Hey, that's right!
486
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,266
- Well, here's your place.
- [horns honking]
487
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,508
Yep. Here it is.
488
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,594
Well, anyway, I signed the papers.
489
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:27,805
Oh. Great!
490
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,950
Yeah, so if it all looks good to you
and your lawyer,
491
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:32,351
you can sign it too
and then it'll be official.
492
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,936
Divorce completed.
493
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,730
- Yay.
- We did it.
494
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,607
Take that, our marriage!
495
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,778
- Well, I guess I'll see you around?
- Yeah.
496
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,905
- I was going to...
- Sorry.
497
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:47,074
- [both laughing]
- Sorry. Just go all the way.
498
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,701
- Well, bye.
- Cool.
499
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:51,786
[grunts]
500
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:54,832
[Flip] And, cut.
501
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,792
- [buzzes]
- [Flip] We got it.
502
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,919
What's that for? We've all seen me naked.
503
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:01,338
Can't put the genie
back in the bottle now, baby.
504
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:02,339
[crew laughing]
505
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:03,674
Thanks anyway, Judy.
506
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,968
This is great. Any other work environment
507
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,891
and this would be considered
sexual harassment.
508
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,597
- [laughter]
- Ooh, Cadbury Creme Eggs.
509
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,433
Yes, please!
Whoops. Gonna need new yogurt.
510
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,059
- [groans]
- I'll make it up to you,.
511
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,103
Party at my house tonight!
512
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:18,022
[crew cheering]
513
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:22,359
♪ The last days of the sunset superstars ♪
514
00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:25,821
♪ Girls in cages playing their guitars ♪
515
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,782
So, then Aaron Eckhart
said, "If that's Ansel Elgort,
516
00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,534
then who's Alden Ehrenreich?"
517
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:33,078
- And then I said, "Gesundheit"
- [all laughing]
518
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:36,415
- Flip! You made it.
- Yeah.
519
00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:39,418
Jesus Christ, your house really does look
like Philbert's.
520
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,337
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
521
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,174
Thanks for being so cool today
about the naked stuff.
522
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,091
Yeah. Sure.
523
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:48,928
Those chicks always make
such a big deal about their bodies.
524
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,387
Maybe now that you've done it,
525
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:53,307
Gina won't complain so much
next time we make her do it.
526
00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:56,477
- Well, no, she didn't complain.
- Whatever. Doesn't matter.
527
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,479
- Everything worked out.
- Yeah.
528
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,315
Listen, I'm sorry I flew off
the handle earlier
529
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:03,484
and tried to remove your robe by force.
530
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,861
This is my first show
and I'm still figuring out
531
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,529
how to strike the right tone.
532
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:10,616
No, of course, I'm just trying
to help you fulfill your vision.
533
00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:12,826
Yeah. The main thing
you gotta know about me
534
00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:15,788
is just don't take things so personal,
you know what I mean?
535
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:16,914
Uh, yeah.
536
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:19,375
Everything we're doing over
these next ten weeks,
537
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:23,128
the places I'm going to take you,
it's not about you, you know?
538
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,422
- It's Philbert.
- Yeah. Right.
539
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:26,882
Yeah, you get it.
540
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:31,011
♪ Oh, my Lord
Oh, we really did it now ♪
541
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:37,059
I tell you, buddy, this is going to be
a sensational season of television.
542
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:40,354
♪ But I can keep running
No, I can keep on running ♪
543
00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:44,274
[vocalizing]
544
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:50,906
♪ How can anybody have you?
How can anybody have you and lose you? ♪
545
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:55,703
♪ How can anybody have you and lose you
And not lose their mind too? ♪
546
00:24:55,995 --> 00:25:00,791
♪ How can anybody have you?
How can anybody have you and lose you? ♪
547
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:06,922
♪ How can anybody have you and lose you
And not lose their mind? ♪
548
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:13,012
♪ How can anybody have you?
How can anybody have you and lose you? ♪
549
00:25:13,095 --> 00:25:17,975
♪ How can anybody have you and lose you
And not lose their mind too? ♪
550
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:22,980
♪ How can anybody have you?
How can anybody have you and lose you? ♪
551
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:28,902
♪ How can anybody have you and lose you
And not lose their mind? ♪