1 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,379 When we booked you for this show, 2 00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:06,840 you'd just won the Triple Crown, but then just this week, 3 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:09,885 I open up the newspaper, and look at this... 4 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,471 "Secretariat Under Investigation." 5 00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:13,930 What am I supposed to do with that? 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,016 Maybe it's a different Secretariat. 7 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,310 Ha ha ha ha. No, but seriously, folks, 8 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,063 there is no truth to these allegations. 9 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,566 I have never bet on horse racing, 10 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,984 and I certainly did not bet on my own races. 11 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:28,111 Although I did bet the network's gonna give your show 12 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,488 back to Joey Bishop. 13 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:31,281 O... ho ho... kay. 14 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,159 We get letters here on the show, and one particular letter, 15 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,413 for you, actually, struck a chord with our producers. 16 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:40,499 This is from BoJack H. BoJack is nine years old. 17 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,752 BoJack writes, "Dear Secretariat, 18 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,795 I am a horse just like you. 19 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,339 I like to watch racing, and you are my favorite racer." 20 00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:48,882 Smart kid. 21 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,634 "When I grow up, I want to be just like you, 22 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,469 and I think I'm on the right track. 23 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,389 Get it? Track, because horses run on tracks, 24 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,140 and you are a horse, and I am a horse. 25 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,602 Do you get it? Do you get my joke about the track?" 26 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,604 Okay, there's a whole page of this. 27 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,480 Should I write him back and tell him I get it? 28 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,566 He goes on, "My question for you is, 29 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,568 I am a good kid, and I like to play, 30 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,904 and I like to go to school, but sometimes I get sad. 31 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:12,740 What do you do when you get sad? 32 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,451 How do you not be sad? Sincerely, BoJack." 33 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,202 That's a great letter. 34 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:20,497 BoJack, when I was your age, I got sad. 35 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,124 A lot. 36 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,794 I didn't come from such a great home, 37 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,297 but one day, I started running, and that seemed to make sense, 38 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,549 so then I just kept running. 39 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:34,303 BoJack, when you get sad, you run straight ahead 40 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,722 and you keep running forward, no matter what. 41 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,557 There are people in your life 42 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:40,476 who are gonna try to hold you back, slow you down, 43 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:41,769 but you don't let them. 44 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,229 Don't you stop running and don't you ever look behind you. 45 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,565 There's nothing for you behind you. 46 00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,652 All that exists is what's ahead. 47 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:53,739 Good morning, Louisville. It's August 22nd, 1973. 48 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:56,158 A sad day for the sport of horse racing. 49 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,453 Secretariat banned for life from competition. 50 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,372 It's a disgrace is what it is. This is the '70s. 51 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,458 You can't cheat in sports and get away with it. 52 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,543 You know, I think it just goes to show you, 53 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,962 you can be the fastest runner in the world, 54 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:12,966 but you can't outrun the truth. 55 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:17,095 And traffic is jammed today coming into Louisville. 56 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,515 Looks like some idiot parked his car on the bridge. 57 00:03:10,971 --> 00:03:13,507 sync and corrrections by caioalbanezi www.addic7ed.com 58 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:19,157 And the Golden Globe for Best Comedy or Musical 59 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:22,745 goes to BoJack Horseman, my friend, 60 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,247 for his book One Trick Pony. 61 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,917 This is a first win for BoJack Horseman 62 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,835 and his first appearance at the Globe ceremony 63 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,379 since his forced removal in 1992 64 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,716 after he exchanged blows with Sir Paul McCartney. 65 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,509 Wow, what an honor. 66 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,511 I have to thank the Hollywoo Foreign Press. 67 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,012 I feel like I should mention 68 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,890 that my book was not a comedy or a musical. 69 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,767 Do you guys actually watch the movies you give awards to? 70 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,560 'Cause I kind of get the sense that... 71 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,562 Also, my book was not a movie. You do know that, right? 72 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,397 We're friends. 73 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,608 Anyway, the response to this book has been incredible. 74 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,360 These last three months have been really amazing. 75 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:56,820 You know, a lot of people said to me, 76 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,614 "You sure you want to publish this book? 77 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,323 It's pretty personal." 78 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,367 And I said, "If I can make just one person out there 79 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,036 feel a little less alone, then it's all worth it." 80 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,289 And they said, "That's really brave." 81 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,959 And I said, "Well, I'm not one to call myself brave, 82 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,127 but since you said it, yeah, I am." 83 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,255 After-party at my restaurant! 84 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,799 Why did I say after-party at my restaurant? 85 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,801 I do not want to throw a party. 86 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,386 It did seem unlike you. I'm gonna go get some cotton candy. 87 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,639 - You want some? - No. 88 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:27,142 - Yes. - There he is, man of the hour. 89 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,436 Hello, other grown up. 90 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,147 Cheer up, dummy. Your book is a huge success. 91 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,817 Everybody loves you. You just won a Golden Globe. 92 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,485 If you can't be happy tonight, 93 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,570 maybe you'll never be happy again. 94 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,238 I'm sorry, is that supposed to be encouraging? 95 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,658 - Because it's super-bleak. - Vincent Adultman... 96 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,994 how are things at the old nine to five? 97 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,329 Good. I went to the stock market today. 98 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,998 I did a business. 99 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,874 I keep telling him he works too hard. 100 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,335 Come on, Vincent, let's get away from the rat race. 101 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,546 Take a cruise someplace wet and Latin. 102 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,841 I mean, can you imagine this body in a swimsuit? 103 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,259 - I literally cannot. - Vincent, let's do a lap. 104 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,803 Have you met Brendan Fraser? 105 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,805 I feel like you two would love each other. 106 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,181 Whoa. Easy, easy. 107 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,017 I got to hand it to Diane. 108 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,310 This book has been everything she said it would be. 109 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,187 Yeah, she knows what she's doing. 110 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,023 How is Diane? I haven't seen her since... 111 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,232 Well, I haven't seen her in a while. 112 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,276 Well, the book's been huge for her, too. 113 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,362 She's practically as famous as I am now. 114 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,781 - We're like the Brangelinas. - Well, I'm happy she's happy. 115 00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,575 - And how are you? - Well, it's been really hard... 116 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,079 Erica, is that you? Who let you out of the burn ward? 117 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,164 Get over here, you. 118 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,835 Excuse me. I just have to tell you how much I love your book. 119 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:38,380 It's so naked and honest and revealing. 120 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,882 It is? . 121 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,633 I love the part about how you became famous 122 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,927 so you could be constantly surrounded by distraction 123 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,888 and wouldn't have to be alone with yourself. 124 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,890 I thought that was a really profound observation. 125 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,516 Yeah, definitely. So profound. 126 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,434 - Do you want to get out of here? - What? 127 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,020 Come back to my place, maybe get a little more naked, 128 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:56,565 - honest and revealing? - No. No, thanks. 129 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,441 - What about you? - Yeah, okay. 130 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:05,323 Whoa. 131 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,080 - Hey, Diane. - You still friends with BoJack? 132 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,748 Heard you two were on the outs. 133 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,374 You gonna write another book about it? 134 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,043 You looking at some oranges? 135 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,003 You gonna write a book about those oranges? 136 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,673 - Hello. - Diane. 137 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,383 Sebastian St. Claire here, 138 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,635 famed billionaire philanthropist/adventurer. 139 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,721 Please, hold your applause. 140 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,140 - Okay. - You can applaud a little. 141 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,059 Okay. 142 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,269 I got your number from Pinky Penguin. 143 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,396 I'm looking for a journalist to follow me around 144 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,899 for a few months and document my daring exploits 145 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,027 aiding ravaged communities and displaced people. 146 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:45,321 - Ssss. - Wow, that sounds amazing. 147 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,617 But that's not usually the kind of thing I write about. 148 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:53,080 Diane, if you can make people care about BoJack Horseman, 149 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,207 surely you can make them care about emaciated orphans 150 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,709 with missing limbs. 151 00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,211 We need to wake people up. 152 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,005 Well, I am a morning person. 153 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,174 I hope you mean mourning with a "u," 154 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:07,510 because, Diane, this is deadly serious. 155 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,179 Yes, of course. 156 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,143 You want to spend three months in Sudan? 157 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,561 Not just there. We're also going to Haiti and Thailand 158 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,688 and Uganda and Chechnya. 159 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,398 Can't you do all that in L.A.? 160 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,275 I want to do something important. 161 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:25,361 I want to help people and do good work 162 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,573 and sleep on the ground and poop in a bucket. 163 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,951 Honey, nobody wants to poop in a bucket. 164 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,912 Maybe I do. Maybe I want to poop in a bucket. 165 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:36,456 If you want to poop in a bucket, we can get you a bucket. 166 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,583 You don't have to go all the way the Chechnylavakia. 167 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:39,960 Am I saying that right? 168 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,837 It's not just the pooping in a bucket. 169 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,839 I think it might be good for me to get out of L.A. 170 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,090 for a little bit. 171 00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:47,843 Sweetie, you know I support you, whatever you want to do, 172 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,761 but you're not gonna find what you're looking for 173 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,805 in these awful made-up places. 174 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,724 The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. 175 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,144 The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. 176 00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,355 It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, 177 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,482 and eventually, you'll be dead. 178 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:06,153 Well, I guess I can keep my options open. 179 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,237 Great. 180 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,201 Hey, can I ask you something? 181 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,954 Did Vincent seem extra weird to you last night? 182 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,748 Well, he's still three kids in a trench coat, so, no. 183 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,292 We're going through a rough patch. It's hard, you know. 184 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,294 He's works a full time job at the business factory, 185 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:24,921 so when he gets home, 186 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,132 he just wants to unwind by watching R-rated movies. 187 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,425 I thought I was ready for a real adult relationship, 188 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,844 but... 189 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,471 Enough about me. BoJack, you are on fire. 190 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,515 Are we talking about me again? 191 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,018 We have an offer on the table for you to play the bad guy 192 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,477 in the new James Bond. 193 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,813 I agree. Total garbage. 194 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,524 But this, it's a new drama from the Coen Brothers. 195 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,069 A western about a one-horse town and you're the horse. 196 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,571 Hello, Oscar. What do you think? 197 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,948 I think now's the time to finally make "Secretariat." 198 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:55,451 Really? Now? Aren't you a little, um, very too old? 199 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,495 You asked me what I wanted to do. That's what I want. 200 00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,873 That's all I've ever wanted, and if I can't get it now, 201 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,209 then all of this has been for nothing. 202 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,919 Fish. Of course! 203 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,837 Why would you ever make things easy for me 204 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:08,548 when instead you could make things incredibly difficult? 205 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,675 Laura, clear out the rest of my day. 206 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,552 I have to push a boulder up a hill, 207 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,846 and then have it roll over me time and time again 208 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,848 with no regard for my well-being. 209 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:17,933 Attagirl. 210 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,229 All right, Todd. PB Livin' needs a new project. 211 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,607 Bi-Monthly Curated Box of Snacks has been an enormous success, 212 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,984 but I got into this game to make movies, 213 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,611 so let's make a movie. 214 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,446 Well, I got a stack of great scripts here. 215 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,073 Any one of them would make a wonderful movie. 216 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,699 Fantastic. 217 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:38,828 But I also have this other non-movie-related idea. 218 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,330 Ooh, let's hear the other idea. 219 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,082 Okay. I was heading down Wilshire, 220 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,210 and I saw this empty store front, and I thought, 221 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,212 "You know what this world needs?" 222 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,880 Edge of my seat over here. 223 00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:52,592 A store where people can buy Halloween stuff. 224 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,470 Halloween store. Feel like that's been done. 225 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,388 Yeah, in October, 226 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,934 but how come your never see a Halloween store in January? 227 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,228 - It's an untapped market. - Yeah. 228 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,605 A Halloween store that's open year-round. 229 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,108 - No, no. Just January. - Brilliant. 230 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:11,153 That's the kind of idea that wins Golden Globes. 231 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,158 I actually think the time is right for "Secretariat," 232 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,451 so what do you want to play, like, Secretariat's dad 233 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:21,204 or his grandfather, maybe like an elderly witch doctor 234 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,206 who puts a curse on him or something? 235 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,458 Lenny, look, I know I'm a little long in the tooth, 236 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,252 but I think that you more than anyone 237 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,629 would know not to count out an old pro. 238 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,464 Don't play the ageism card with me, kid. 239 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,883 I've laid farts that lasted longer than your entire career. 240 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,137 But Secretariat was dead at 27, so who we kidding here? 241 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,097 Just set the project up and give me an audition. 242 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,598 - That's all I ask. - All right. 243 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,100 You got yourself a "go" picture, kid. 244 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:44,102 And by you, I mean me. And by "go" picture, 245 00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,355 I mean I'll make some phone calls, we'll see what I can do. 246 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,649 And by kid, I mean middle-aged adult. 247 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695 Shh. No, no, no. Put it here. Put it here. 248 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,031 - Okay, I'll do it. - Ahem. 249 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,326 - Has this ever happened to you? - Has what ever happened to me? 250 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,371 - Todd? - Yes, Mr. Peanutbutter? 251 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,373 What's going on? Why are you talking like that? 252 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,333 Todd, I just got a phenomenal idea 253 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,043 for a Halloween costume. 254 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,170 Why don't you and I dash over to the store right quick 255 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,547 and spend some hard-earned American money? 256 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,508 But, Mr. Peanutbutter, didn't you hear? 257 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,511 It's January, and the Halloween store won't open 258 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:21,139 for another nine months. 259 00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,599 But I want satisfaction now. 260 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,977 Has this ever happened to you? 261 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,021 Not to anyone ever at any time. 262 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,774 Ahem. We give you Halloween in January, 263 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,903 a truly immersive Halloween experience 264 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,030 for the rest of us. 265 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,741 Halloween in January? Please elaborate. 266 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,993 Okay, but before I do, tell the audience. 267 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:44,329 - Have we ever met before? - Never. 268 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:48,083 Well, according to facts, there's more suicides in January 269 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,668 - than any other month. - I'm getting pretty close over here. 270 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:54,756 Also, there's less Halloween stores. Coincidence? 271 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,385 Wow, I'm convinced. This store could save lives. 272 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,262 Unbelievable. When your powers combine... 273 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,848 you are somehow even more stupid than the sum of your stupids. 274 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,641 - Thank you. - Go on. 275 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,103 You stop encouraging him and you stop encouraging him. 276 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,896 The two of you are playing with fire. 277 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,190 A fire called Having a Good Idea. 278 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:14,943 Or maybe a fire called Friendship. 279 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,862 - Fires aren't called things. - What about the Chicago fire? 280 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,239 Or Fire Island. 281 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,990 - Or Gabe. - Who's Gabe? 282 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,951 Just a fire I met once. Named him Gabe. 283 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,953 - He sounds delightful. - He was. Good guy. 284 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,796 Business, business, business. Is that all you ever think about? 285 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,089 I don't know. 286 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,091 What's under that coat, Vincent? 287 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,802 - You need to let me in. - Not right now. 288 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,678 I have to call the guy at the office 289 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,722 and take the car to the place. 290 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,475 It's always guys in places with you. 291 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,768 You know, I thought I wanted to date a real adult, 292 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,853 but I'm actually young at heart. 293 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,189 I need to feel the grass between my toes. 294 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,733 I want to wear jeans. I want to dance. 295 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,944 - That's baby stuff. - No, Vincent. 296 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,655 There's more to being an adult than just work and business 297 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:03,741 and the tall-person rides at Disneyland. I want to have fun. 298 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,828 There has to be a difference between monogamy and monotony. 299 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,247 What's mahumanunny? 300 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,249 Well, clearly we had a different understanding 301 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,251 of what this was. 302 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,212 I'd like to be an adult about this, but frankly, I'm hurt. 303 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,924 I think you should just go, just git. Get out of my life. 304 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,592 Okay. 305 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,178 Okay. 306 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:26,264 Could I have another soda? 307 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,270 BoJack, you know Kelsey Jannings, our director. 308 00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,523 I really appreciate you giving me this opportunity. 309 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,065 Yeah. 310 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,818 Secretariat was kind of my hero as a kid. 311 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,820 Yeah, he was a lot of people's hero. 312 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,698 Well, you know, here was a guy who had everything... 313 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,783 Yeah, I know the story. I'm the director. 314 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,702 Kelsey, be nice. 315 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,745 She's just cranky because she's already seen 30 people 316 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,582 read for this today, and we are all so goddamn sick 317 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,792 of seeing auditions, so whenever you're ready. 318 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,169 Just jump right in. 319 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,296 Great. Let's get to it. 320 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,590 Hey, ain't you that horse 321 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,259 - that won all them races? - Not today, ma'am. 322 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,679 Today I'm just a customer who wants a warm slice of pie. 323 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,515 Can I ask you a question? 324 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,517 When you're out there on that there racetrack, 325 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,768 - what are you running from? - You want to know the truth? 326 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,396 Nothing. 327 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,647 Everyone's running from something, sugar. 328 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:20,735 No, I'm running from nothing. I'm terrified of nothing. 329 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,820 People come up to me, they want my autograph, 330 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,239 they want my picture. 331 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,033 They think they recognize something in me, 332 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:30,119 and I want to be that person they think I am, but I'm not. 333 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,705 They see a greatness in me, and they mistake it for goodness, 334 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,750 but I... I know there's nothing there. 335 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:40,880 As fast as I run, I can't get way from that. 336 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,465 Wow. 337 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,885 BoJack, I think I speak for everyone when I say... 338 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:49,931 My God, Andrew Garfield said yes. 339 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,767 - We have our Secretariat. - We got Andrew Garfield? 340 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,227 My God, it's the best day of my life. 341 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,853 You don't say no to Spider-Man. 342 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,105 This movie is gonna be amazing. 343 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,314 Andrew... 344 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,443 Garfield! 345 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,404 Now, the pills will give you nightmares... 346 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,696 I mean, just horrifying... 347 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,698 but the malaria will give you death, 348 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,076 so you're going to want to take the pills, Diane. 349 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,702 Hold on. 350 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:16,040 A mosquito got into my tent. What do you want? 351 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,293 Hello? 352 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,629 Diane, it's Princess Carolyn, BoJack's agent. 353 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,255 Yeah, I know who you are. 354 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,340 I'm the pink cat, the one who used to date BoJack. 355 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,135 We've met a lot of times. You came to my wedding. 356 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,637 Listen, the Turteltaub Company 357 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,639 is making a movie about Secretariat. 358 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,515 And since you're such an expert, 359 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,685 they want to bring you on board as a character consultant. 360 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,437 What does that mean? 361 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,063 It's the cushiest job in the world. 362 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,982 You sit in a fancy chair and eat pastries all day. 363 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,943 And then once a week, you say, "Secretariat wouldn't do that." 364 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,070 I don't know. I've already been offered this other thing. 365 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,323 And did you know there are orphans in Sudan... 366 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,325 You take this job, you can buy all the orphans you want. 367 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,160 No, I don't want to buy them. 368 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,162 Look, if you really want to help people, 369 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,289 it doesn't hurt to have a little money in your pocket. 370 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,500 Take the job now, help the orphans later. 371 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,835 There's always later. 372 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,211 Okay, talk it over with your husband. 373 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,005 I got to go get my whiskers trimmed. 374 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:07,258 I run into walls for days, but I look hot. 375 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,262 - How's the pie here? - Not good. 376 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,888 Well, I'll take all you got. 377 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,683 Screw it. Throw it in a bowl with some bourbon 378 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,934 - and bring me a ladle. - 379 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:20,771 BoJack, we notice you've been pretty down in the dumps lately, 380 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:24,651 but we have something that we think is going to cheer you up. 381 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,695 It's an exciting new business venture 382 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,071 that's equal parts new and exciting. 383 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,782 Another one? What happened to your Halloween store? 384 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,284 - What now? - Right. 385 00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,161 The Halloween store. 386 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,079 We took the floor out 387 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,708 because Mr. Peanutbutter kept scratching up the hardwood, 388 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,585 and then... Did we ever get the new floor installed? 389 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,755 Halloween? In January? 390 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,341 What a great ide... Aah! 391 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,428 Anyway, now we're all about smoodies. 392 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,597 - What? - Smoodies. 393 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,307 You're saying smoothies, right? Smoothies. 394 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,892 No. Smoodies. 395 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,645 It's a mood that you drink like a smoothie. 396 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,481 I don't understand it. How do you drink a mood? 397 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,775 - Like a smoothie. - So it is a smoothie. 398 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,612 No, it's a smoodie... A mood that you drink. 399 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,324 - How do you drink a mood? - Like a smoothie. 400 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:16,578 But do you buy it in a store? What're the physical attributes? 401 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,580 We haven't worked out all the kinks yet, 402 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,582 but the important thing is we've gone public, 403 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,751 and we want you to get in on the ground floor. 404 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,669 See, that's the problem with all your ideas... 405 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,755 they don't have ground floors. 406 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,925 Finally, a Halloween store for the rest of... Aah! 407 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,387 Hello. 408 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,972 Anyway, our launch party's tonight, 409 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,684 - and we'd love it if you came. - We spared no expense... 410 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,936 that's how confident we are in our product. 411 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,521 - Your product... Smoodies. - Yes. 412 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,315 Wait, did you say smoodies or smoothies? 413 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,443 Because we only make... Which one do we make? 414 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,903 I'd like to think the smoodies make us. 415 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:55,116 I can tell by your tone that that was something smart. 416 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,747 - Smoodie keychain? - Smoodie cozy? 417 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,164 Smoodie bottle opener? 418 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,417 It's a mood that you drink like a smoothie. 419 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,419 Todd, it is all happening. 420 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:09,964 Hooray. And you know I don't throw that word around lightly. 421 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,425 All right. Now we just got to make sure we focus 422 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,385 and actually follow through on this. 423 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:17,012 I'd feel awful if this great idea fell apart 424 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,307 because we got distracted by something else, 425 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:20,850 as we are often wont to do. 426 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,687 Wait, did you say you feel awful or falafel? 427 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,439 I said, "Feel awful," 428 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,609 but tell me more about this falafel idea. 429 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,737 Falafel or fawaffle? 430 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,113 What? 431 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:44,290 BoJack, isn't this exciting? Smoodies, right? 432 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,835 Do you even know what a smoodie is? 433 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,837 I think it's some kind of an adult onesie. 434 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,963 Whatever it is, I'm trying new things. 435 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:53,591 I'm single again, and I'm loving it. 436 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:56,594 - Let me repeat... - Princess Carolyn. 437 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:59,806 Vincent. Well, you've got some nerve showing your face. 438 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:03,184 - I've got half a mind to... - No, let me talk. 439 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:06,145 I had a attitude problem, 440 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,314 but then I took a timeout, 441 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,232 and I thought about what I did. 442 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,360 I wanted to be a big man. 443 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:17,699 But sometimes the biggest thing a man can do is tell the truth. 444 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,118 And the truth about me is, I... I... 445 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,829 - Okay, here we go. - I love you. 446 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,955 - What? - Vincent. 447 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:28,083 Let's go feel grass between our toes. 448 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,044 - What? - All right. 449 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,213 You're a better man than I could ever be. 450 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,006 I wish my boyfriend was that mature. 451 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,135 - Hello? - BoJack, it's Kelsey Jannings. 452 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,888 I got some news about "Secretariat." 453 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,264 - What's up? - Garfield's out. 454 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,058 He got into some sort of accident. 455 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,268 An All Hallows' Eve store in January? 456 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,564 How fiendishly droll. Aah! 457 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,650 Bother. 458 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,777 The clumsy bastard broke every bone in his body, 459 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,654 and now we got to find a new lead. 460 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,823 Studio wants to go young, but I was thinking we'd get 461 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,784 someone a little more BoJack Horseman. 462 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,703 What? Are you serious? 463 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,747 You're the only one with enough grit to play the part, 464 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,207 and we can age you down in post, but I'm gonna tell you now, 465 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,501 not gonna put up with any woe-is-me bullshit 466 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,127 or diva histrionics. 467 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,796 I get enough of that from my ex-wife 468 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,173 along with newspaper clippings about gluten. 469 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,593 God, we get it, Marla. Gluten. 470 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,011 But if you want to make a movie, and you're ready to work... 471 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,389 I am. I will. I can. I do. 472 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,974 Great. You got one month to get in shape. 473 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,268 You need to lose 50 pounds and then gain back 20. 474 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,895 - And, BoJack... - Yeah? 475 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,730 Don't ever call this number. 476 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,356 If I want to talk, I'll call you. 477 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,905 - Hey. - Hey. 478 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,573 Not big on parties? 479 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,825 Nah. I never know what to do with my hands. 480 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,327 I think I just got cast in Secretariat. 481 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,456 - That's amazing. - It's everything I ever wanted. 482 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:51,751 - Yeah, you seem super-jazzed. - What do I do now? 483 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:54,336 Well, that's the problem with life, right? 484 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,839 Either you know what you want, and you don't get what you want, 485 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,425 or get what you want, and then you don't know what you want. 486 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,177 - Well, that's stupid. - Yeah. 487 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,221 I don't know if this makes you more or less excited, 488 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,933 but I actually decided to take a job on the Secretariat movie 489 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,977 as a character consultant. 490 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,896 Wow, so we're gonna be working together again. 491 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,898 Yeah. I hope you don't get sick of me. 492 00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,691 I don't think that's gonna happen. 493 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,360 - Is it weird I took this job? - Why would it be weird? 494 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,822 You literally wrote the book on Secretariat. 495 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:24,533 Yeah, I know. I just... When I first moved to L.A... 496 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,495 I thought I was gonna be doing really important work. 497 00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,831 You know, writing stuff that makes a difference. 498 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:33,042 But then you kind of fall into one thing and then another... 499 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,294 Well, you've got time. There's always later, right? 500 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:37,254 Yeah, I guess there's always later. 501 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,381 Do you remember the last time I saw you? 502 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,176 You asked me if I thought you were a good person deep down? 503 00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:45,054 Do I remember that? Yeah, vaguely. 504 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,598 You caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say. 505 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:51,602 Well, do you think I'm a good person... deep down? 506 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:54,229 That's the thing. I don't think I believe in deep down. 507 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,733 I kind of think all you are is just the things that you do. 508 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,862 Well, that's depressing. 509 00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:02,697 For what it's worth, 510 00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,615 I think your writing does make a difference. 511 00:22:04,699 --> 00:22:06,158 Thanks. 512 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,577 I really wanted you to like me, Diane. 513 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,412 I know. 514 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:14,143 Sorry we didn't get you a birthday present. 515 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,228 I got so distracted by trying to get tickets 516 00:23:16,311 --> 00:23:18,272 to the New Kids On The Block concert, 517 00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:20,983 I completely lost sight of what's important. 518 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,986 And I got so swept up in my campaign for class president, 519 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,906 I forgot why I was running in the first place. 520 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,908 And I was boy crazy. 521 00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:31,035 Kids, kids, I don't need a present. 522 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,245 I got everything I need right here. 523 00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:34,413 Aww. 524 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:37,458 - Macaroni. - Sabrina. 525 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:39,668 Come here, you goofball. 526 00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:55,851 - Aha. - Whoa. 527 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,603 Can you make it out to Blake? 528 00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:00,106 Thanks, man. You're, like, my hero. 529 00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:02,399 Really? 530 00:24:33,394 --> 00:24:35,855 sync and corrrections by caioalbanezi www.addic7ed.com 531 00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:19,393 Boxer versus raptor.