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[PRINCESS CAROLYN]
I got into this business
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because I love stories.
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They comfort us, they inspire us,
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they create a context for
how we experience the world.
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But also, you have to be careful,
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because if you spend a lot
of time with stories,
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you start to believe that life
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is just stories, and it's not.
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Life is life, and
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that's so sad, because
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there's so little time and...
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What are we doing with it?
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[CLOCKS TICKING]
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Thank you. When Princess Carolyn told me
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we were pitching to
whattimeisitrightnow.com,
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I was excited,
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because in so many ways,
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the story I'm about
to tell is about time.
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And it's about time this story was told.
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- Ooh!
- Ahh!
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[FLIP] It's about
Detective John Philbert,
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a man from another time.
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[SIGHS]
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[FLIP] But now he finds
himself in a new time.
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I'm sorry, did you say newt time?
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No, no, new time.
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Oh, so it's not like a
time full of newts?
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No.
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Unless you want it to be
a time full of newts.
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No, no, no, no. I'm just clarifying.
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Okay.
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He finds himself in a time
he doesn't understand.
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- [SIGHS]
- [PHONE DIALING]
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- [MAN] Don't call this number again.
- Wait. I... I just...
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My mother, she's senile, and
she was drugging the coffee.
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That's why... Just...
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I wanted you to know that none
of this was Hollyhock's fault.
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[MAN] Goodbye, BoJack.
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[FLIP] A time in which he is alone.
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Perhaps, all this time,
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he's been alone.
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Except for the newts, right?
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Hmm.
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Yeah. Except for the newts.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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And then it dawns on him,
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his partner isn't a ghost.
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Or is he?
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- Wow!
- As we like to say here,
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there are little hand
ideas and big hand ideas.
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And that's a big hand idea.
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And you said BoJack
Horseman is attached?
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What? Oh, yeah. BoJack is attached.
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But he's not like "attached" attached.
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If you want us to get somebody better...
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Oh, no, no, no. We love BoJack.
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Yeah. We don't wanna do this
without BoJack, just to be clear.
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- Well...
- Oh, he's definitely attached.
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He signed a contract. I saw it myself.
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Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
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[GULPS]
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So if you look to the left,
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you'll see a charming
little breakfast nook.
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- Oh!
- [GASPS] Look at that!
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But if you want more natural light,
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you could knock down that
wall and put in these...
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- French doors!
- That is so cool!
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- You actually don't have to yell.
- Wait, Diane.
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Are we in the same house right now?
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- I don't see you.
- I can hear you. I think we're close!
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You can't see each other in the program.
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So I'm invisible?
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Oh, in this scenario, am I a ghost?
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Of a Union soldier, perhaps,
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who cannot rest until his
final letter is delivered!
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And can I be Anne of Green Gables?
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No, you're both still you.
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Diane, can I talk to you
alone for a moment?
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- Oh, I can step out...
- Sure!
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Why don't you meet me in
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the guest bathroom? Ow!
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- You don't have to.
- Where's...
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- Hold on. I think...
- Guys, I can just...
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- Here we are.
- Diane?
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No. Careful. Okay.
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- Do you really love this house?
- Yeah, it's fine.
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I didn't love the old house,
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but it was your house and I
moved in, and it was great.
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But this is an opportunity
to build something together.
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Something that'll last
for the rest of our lives.
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Anything you want is gonna be
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good with me. Just like your old house.
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But I don't want this to just
be another one of my houses.
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I want this to be our house.
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And it will be, because
we'll both be living in it.
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Mr. Peanutbutter, I don't
need anything fancy.
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All that matters to me is
that I get to live with you.
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- In the real world.
- Oh!
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No more campaign, no more ex-wives.
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Just Diane and
Mr. Peanutbutter, back to normal.
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- For the rest of our lives.
- That sounds great.
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- We'll take it.
- One second, though,
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- I have to use the bathroom.
- No, no, no, that's not...
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You completely humiliated
me in front of Sha Na Na!
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[THE HORSE] How was I
supposed to Sha Na know
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they were going to invite me on
the stage to do a guitar solo?
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[SABRINA] You're supposed to be my dad.
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You're supposed to be
looking out for me.
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[GROANS]
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[SABRINA] You're the
worst dad in the world!
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[THE HORSE] Well, too bad
I'm the only dad you got.
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[SABRINA GRUNTS]
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- [DOORBELL CHIMES]
- [BOTH] Huh?
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[THE HORSE] O.J. Simpson lawyer and
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DNA expert Barry Scheck?
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- [SCHECK] My car broke down.
- [SABRINA] What?
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[SCHECK] I guess it ran out of... juice.
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Hi. Yeah, my mom is a resident.
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I've still got a bunch of her stuff.
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Don't put me on hold.
Just take a message...
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[SABRINA] Wait, wait!
You're a DNA expert?
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Could I use DNA to find my real family?
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[SCHECK] Well, sometimes,
DNA can be a tricky thing.
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Like, for example,
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was Simpson DNA found at the scene
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of the murder of Nicole Brown? Sure.
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Was it O.J. Simpson's DNA?
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- Who's to say?
- Oh.
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Maybe it was some other Simpson,
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like his son, or his father.
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There's no way to know.
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I wouldn't worry about it.
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That's too much, man...
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[DOORBELL CHIMES]
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- Oh.
- Hey, buddy.
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- Uh-oh.
- She had a long day... of drinking.
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I figured she shouldn't
drive herself home.
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- Good thinking.
- Yeah.
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I was right too,
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- because she crashed her car.
- What?
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I probably should've
said something, but...
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You need to get your shit together.
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Wha... Where am I?
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Okay, so you know how you're
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always giving pep talks to people,
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telling them they need to
get their shit together?
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Well, this is me giving you
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the Princess Carolyn pep talk.
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Why am I tied up in the woods?
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So you can't escape my wise words.
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Is that not part of it?
I couldn't remember.
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It doesn't matter. It's all over for me.
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When it gets out I faked
BoJack's signature,
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the deal's gonna fall apart.
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There goes my reputation, my career...
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Well, there's more to life than
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just your career, isn't there?
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- Is there?
- Isn't there?
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I have nothing!
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Oh! This pep talk is going
in the wrong direction.
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Do you know how hard it is
to start a family at my age?
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To find a guy at my age?
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You don't need a guy to start a family.
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You're Princess Carolyn.
You can do anything.
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No, I can't.
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Look, the woods are dark and scary,
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but the only way out is through.
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I'm sorry. I got
distracted by the woods.
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- Um, what were we talking about?
- No, you're right.
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The only way out is through.
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I gotta talk to BoJack.
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I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself.
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I'm Princess Carolyn.
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That's the spirit!
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As my blood type always says,
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"B" positive!
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- What was that?
- I don't know.
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- Oh!
- Oh!
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- Hey, Doctor Picarello.
- [GROANING]
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Doctor Picarello, are you okay?
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- [GROWLING]
- Todd?
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- [ALL SNARLING]
- [DRILL WHIRRING]
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So it turns out Vice Chancellor
Laughing Gassy got rabies
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from quarrelling with an old raccoon.
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And then he started biting everyone,
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and now a bunch of them have rabies.
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Who could have predicted my
innocent clown dentist venture
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could turn into something so terrifying?
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I don't see how this concerns me.
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Yolanda, the only reason
they're in the woods at all
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is because of you.
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If people find out the Better
Business Bureau is behind this,
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you don't think you'll be getting a buzz
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from the Business Branch of
the Board of Better Bureaus?
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You're right! We have to do
something before someone gets hurt.
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Call me four out of five
dentists, because I agree.
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What?
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Here we are. The
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rest of our lives.
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00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,590
Yeah, wow.
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- Do you wanna go to Hawaii?
- What? Right now?
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00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,762
Yeah! When's the last time
we did something impulsive?
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Well, you did run for governor
without giving it much...
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I just think we could use a vacation.
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Things have been so
crazy this last year.
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Before we start the rest of our lives,
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haven't we earned a break?
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All right. Let's go to Hawaii! They got
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that bridge that's just sitting there.
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- We might as well use it.
- All right! Hawaii, here we come!
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00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,256
All right! Hawaii!
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00:08:50,262 --> 00:08:51,765
Hawaii!
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- [HORNS HONKING]
- [DIANE] Oh.
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- [MR. PEANUTBUTTER SIGHS]
- [GULLS SQUAWKING]
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So, listen.
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00:09:00,851 --> 00:09:02,562
As you know, one of the differences
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00:09:02,568 --> 00:09:05,061
- between agents and managers...
- Oh, my God. Stop.
219
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:06,915
- Please stop.
- I'm producing a new TV show.
220
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,744
It's a phenomenal script
221
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,680
which may or may not
involve ghost or newts.
222
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,136
- Does it involve ghost or newts?
- It may!
223
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,056
- You haven't read it, have you?
- Read it? I'm producing it!
224
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,986
- Right.
- It's this gritty,
225
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,378
hard-boiled mystery...
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00:09:20,384 --> 00:09:23,057
- Ugh! I'm so sick of mysteries.
- Right, well...
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00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,564
They're impossible to figure out.
228
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,295
Then all of a sudden, some random detail
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00:09:26,301 --> 00:09:28,231
makes the hero remember
a conversation that
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totally re-contextualizes everything,
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00:09:29,804 --> 00:09:31,534
and then it all magically
comes together.
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00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,198
- Sure, but...
- It's such bullshit.
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00:09:33,204 --> 00:09:34,701
Where's my random detail that's gonna
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00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,236
suddenly make everything make sense?
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Because I would love that.
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00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,133
Well, this script is really special,
237
00:09:39,139 --> 00:09:41,044
and everyone wants to play the lead,
238
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,291
from Matthew McConaughey
to Matthew Perry.
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00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,418
- Matthew Perry?
- Yeah. But I was thinking...
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00:09:45,424 --> 00:09:47,551
Hold on. Matthew Perry...
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00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,244
Hey, BoJack, which one of
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these pictures more says,
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00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,686
"This daughter looks like a cool
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00:09:55,692 --> 00:09:58,353
"lady that I wanna have in my life"?
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00:09:58,359 --> 00:10:00,781
- Why do you ask?
- I'm writing a letter to my mom
246
00:10:00,787 --> 00:10:02,315
and I want to include a picture.
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00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,354
I'm going to send it to
the adoption agency.
248
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,858
Maybe if they still have her address
249
00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:07,362
on file, they can forward it to her.
250
00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:09,023
Seems like a long shot.
How about a better
251
00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:10,843
strategy is, don't do that,
252
00:10:10,849 --> 00:10:13,190
and then you won't be disappointed
when it doesn't work out?
253
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,448
I'm trying everything.
I don't wanna look back at this
254
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,742
and feel like the end of
"Chandler's List," you know?
255
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,786
- You mean "Schindler's List".
- Never saw it.
256
00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:21,353
I'm talking about "Chandler's List,"
257
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,665
the sketch from when
Matthew Perry hosted SNL.
258
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:24,958
- Remind me?
- Okay.
259
00:10:24,964 --> 00:10:26,328
So it's Chandler from "Friends",
260
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,503
and it's World War II,
and he's got this list.
261
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,421
And the whole time, he's
like, "I'm Chandler!
262
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,048
"Could I have a bigger list?"
263
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,509
But then at the end, the
war's over, and he's like...
264
00:10:34,515 --> 00:10:36,934
- "Could I have had a bigger list?"
- Whoa.
265
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,764
He's haunted because he feels
like he could have done more.
266
00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:42,046
You know, he's like,
"Could I be any more
267
00:10:42,052 --> 00:10:43,920
"feeling like I could have done more?"
268
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,480
I have to go.
269
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,668
Look, I'm trying to do you a favor here!
270
00:10:49,674 --> 00:10:50,973
[GROANS]
271
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,736
[DOOR SLAMS]
272
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,196
[PANTING]
273
00:10:56,882 --> 00:10:58,175
Oh. [GASPS]
274
00:10:59,649 --> 00:11:01,067
Huh.
275
00:11:01,524 --> 00:11:03,985
_
276
00:11:04,009 --> 00:11:05,687
_
277
00:11:05,693 --> 00:11:07,615
_
278
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,627
Huh?
279
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:14,173
- [SNARLING]
- [MUSIC PLAYING]
280
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,224
Shh!
281
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,770
Yes. Get the magazine.
282
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,773
What a fine addition
to your waiting room.
283
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,610
- Oh, no!
- [DRILL WHIRRS]
284
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,528
[MUSIC PLAYING AT FASTER TEMPO]
285
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,282
- [SCREAMING]
- [DRILL WHIRRING]
286
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,242
[GRUNTING, GROANING]
287
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,372
- Oh, God.
- [CLOWN GROWLING]
288
00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:47,673
What are we gonna do, Todd?
289
00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,828
- Guys, let's talk this out.
- [DRILL WHIRRING]
290
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,044
[HORN HONKING]
291
00:11:57,888 --> 00:12:00,725
Run. Ouchie! Ouchie!
292
00:12:00,731 --> 00:12:03,802
[BOTH PANTING]
293
00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:06,559
- Oh, man.
- I've never run that fast in my life.
294
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,478
- Me neither.
- I gotta get in better shape.
295
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,207
I keep saying I'm gonna run more, but
296
00:12:10,213 --> 00:12:12,037
it's just so hard to stay motivated.
297
00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:13,316
Hmm.
298
00:12:13,322 --> 00:12:15,449
Don't "hmm." I'm talking to you.
299
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,200
- [HORNS HONKING]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
300
00:12:22,206 --> 00:12:24,027
Can you not start and stop so much?
301
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:25,739
I can't control the traffic, darling.
302
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,489
When the car in front
of me starts, I start.
303
00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:30,795
- And when it stops, I stop.
- Maybe you don't have to start
304
00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:32,449
every time the car in
front of you starts,
305
00:12:32,455 --> 00:12:34,331
because you know it's
gonna stop again anyway.
306
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,642
You could leave a little space.
307
00:12:35,648 --> 00:12:37,761
- Okay.
- [ENGINE RUMBLES]
308
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:40,014
And another car just cut in front of me
309
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,063
because I left a little space.
310
00:12:42,069 --> 00:12:44,071
Well, I'm sorry, but
I'm getting carsick.
311
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,015
Okay. I'm gonna get some gas.
312
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,565
All right. I got the lowdown.
313
00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:57,151
First of all, very important,
I got you this flattened penny.
314
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,195
I will cherish it always.
315
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:02,407
- I'm sorry for being annoying before.
- Don't worry about it.
316
00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:03,456
Here's the deal.
317
00:13:03,462 --> 00:13:05,886
With this traffic, we can stay
on our current trajectory
318
00:13:05,892 --> 00:13:09,116
and get to Hawaii just in time
to spend two luxurious hours
319
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,582
at the Honolulu Stilton, and
then turn around and come back,
320
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,252
or we can hang out here
at the Thrifty Lodge
321
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,296
at this charming halfway to
Hawaii rest area and gas park.
322
00:13:19,244 --> 00:13:21,913
Excuse me, we would like
your finest room, please.
323
00:13:21,919 --> 00:13:23,504
All our rooms are the same.
324
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:25,768
What kind of cuisine is on premises?
325
00:13:25,774 --> 00:13:28,182
There's a deli at the gas
station across the street.
326
00:13:28,188 --> 00:13:30,383
- And what are your spa hours?
- There's no spa.
327
00:13:30,389 --> 00:13:32,321
Okay, if I wanted to have a big gala,
328
00:13:32,327 --> 00:13:34,057
could I use your grand
ballroom for that,
329
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,690
or is that booked months in advance?
330
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,734
I could settle for a
Demi-ballroom in a pinch,
331
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,153
but attire will be formal, I
don't wanna upstage the venue.
332
00:13:40,159 --> 00:13:42,411
We have zero ballrooms
in this Thrifty Lodge.
333
00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:44,491
I see. This will do nicely.
334
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,661
Didn't you tell me once you
always wanted a ballroom?
335
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,446
Actually, no. [CHUCKLES]
336
00:13:50,477 --> 00:13:52,075
What I wanted was a Belle-room.
337
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,333
What is that? Like a room full of bells?
338
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,545
It's a room full of big books,
with big windows and a ladder,
339
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,380
like Belle got in
"Beauty and the Beast".
340
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,383
- And it's called a Belle-room?
- It's called a library.
341
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,261
But I called it a Belle-room
because it was magical.
342
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,841
And since it was a name I made
up for a room that wasn't real,
343
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,390
that meant that it was just mine.
344
00:14:09,396 --> 00:14:11,178
That's adora-Belle.
345
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,311
- [WOMAN] Hey, Seaborn! Seaborn!
- What's that?
346
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,396
You're Seaborn's Seahorse Milk, right?
347
00:14:15,402 --> 00:14:16,731
Ha! That's right.
348
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,566
Oh, man! Can I get a shellfie?
349
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,610
That's like a shellfish
version of a selfie.
350
00:14:20,837 --> 00:14:23,116
- Hmm?
- Go, take a picture.
351
00:14:23,145 --> 00:14:24,288
It'll make their day.
352
00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:26,324
- You sure? You don't mind?
- I'll be in the room.
353
00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:28,201
Don't stay out with your
new friends too late.
354
00:14:28,207 --> 00:14:29,550
Hey, guys. I'm coming down.
355
00:14:29,556 --> 00:14:31,198
What other of my things do you like?
356
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,039
[MAN] Wow, yeah!
357
00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,215
Okay, so...
358
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,474
[SNORING]
359
00:14:56,346 --> 00:14:58,098
Oh.
360
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,566
Hey.
361
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,271
[JOSE] So the supplier said,
"I really oughta give Iowa a try."
362
00:15:09,277 --> 00:15:12,280
But I said, "Buddy, Kansas City's
about as far as I can go."
363
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,384
Long story short, we're
meeting in St. Louis.
364
00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:16,217
- [POUNDING ON DOOR]
- Huh?
365
00:15:16,223 --> 00:15:18,240
- Hey!
- I need to talk to Hollyhock!
366
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,002
- She's not here.
- You have to let me see her.
367
00:15:20,008 --> 00:15:22,260
Please, I flew all the way
here and it's Wichita,
368
00:15:22,266 --> 00:15:25,341
so it's not like I got other
shit to do in Wichita.
369
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,009
No one told you to come here.
370
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,970
You're the one who likes
foreign movies, right?
371
00:15:28,976 --> 00:15:31,389
That part in "Amelie", where
she listens to the guy's story?
372
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,599
This is that part. And I'm
the guy with the story.
373
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,685
And I need you to be Amelie right now.
374
00:15:35,691 --> 00:15:37,660
I don't like foreign movies.
375
00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:39,283
I like foreign films.
376
00:15:39,289 --> 00:15:40,773
Okay, you're impossible.
377
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,859
The rest of you, please,
just listen for a second.
378
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,820
I know you hate me. But for
Hollyhock, please, listen.
379
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,406
[CLEARS THROAT]
380
00:15:48,412 --> 00:15:51,027
Whole time she's staying with me,
it doesn't make sense, right?
381
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,702
If I'm her father, where is her mother?
382
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,787
Well, that's an extremely
heteronormative way
383
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,831
- of looking at things.
- No, I'm saying, medically,
384
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,792
where is the woman I had sex
with that made her be born?
385
00:15:59,798 --> 00:16:02,330
Right? That's why Hollyhock
came to L.A. in the first place.
386
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,504
Okay...
387
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:06,281
But then I thought,
"What if I'm not her father?"
388
00:16:06,287 --> 00:16:08,248
You're not her father.
We are her fathers.
389
00:16:08,254 --> 00:16:09,838
You're her fathers.
Yeah. I know, I know.
390
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,971
Eight of you, each have your
own cute thing, I get it.
391
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,265
My point is, Hollyhock
and I have the same DNA,
392
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,517
but that doesn't mean I'm her father.
393
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,978
You're not. Because being
a father isn't just...
394
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,272
God, I feel like you are
willfully misunderstanding me.
395
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,609
What I am saying is, I'm not
even her father biologically.
396
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,140
- Excuse me?
- My father is her father.
397
00:16:27,146 --> 00:16:28,398
- What?
- Huh?
398
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,656
[BOJACK] I went to every
hospital and clerk house in L.A.
399
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,222
I waited in lines, filled out forms,
400
00:16:32,228 --> 00:16:33,873
talked to anyone who would talk to me.
401
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,537
I wouldn't rest until I knew
I'd done everything I could.
402
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,831
But there was no record
of a little horse girl
403
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,416
born on Hollyhock's birthday...
404
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,584
Okay, so?
405
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,337
... in L.A., because
Hollyhock wasn't born in L.A.
406
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,172
She was born in San Francisco.
407
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,736
I got a little bug in my brain that
408
00:16:47,742 --> 00:16:49,096
my father knocked up the help.
409
00:16:49,104 --> 00:16:50,481
So I went up there, and I did the
410
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:51,982
whole thing again, and I found it.
411
00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:54,049
The birth certificate
with her mother's name,
412
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,849
clear as day, Henrietta Platchkey.
413
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,643
- That's...
- But where is she now, right?
414
00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:00,609
Looked her up on Facebook.
I know what you think:
415
00:17:00,615 --> 00:17:02,724
"BoJack Horseman has
a Facebook account?"
416
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,191
Obviously, I didn't, because
the Internet is for nerds.
417
00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:06,969
But I know it's a good
way to find people,
418
00:17:06,975 --> 00:17:08,813
so I set up an account, and I found her.
419
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,905
She lives in Minneapolis. She's a nurse.
420
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,698
Her phone number was
on her Facebook page.
421
00:17:12,704 --> 00:17:14,956
And I wanted Hollyhock to have it.
422
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,869
- You did all that?
- She has to know.
423
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:18,409
You don't have to tell her I was here.
424
00:17:18,415 --> 00:17:19,866
I'll stay out of her life forever.
425
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,494
You can tell her I'm an asshole.
Say you found this on your own.
426
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,124
I don't care, but you
have to tell her. Please.
427
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,232
Whittagut dittagoo yittagoo
428
00:17:28,238 --> 00:17:29,887
gittaguys thittagink?
429
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,865
Hittagollittagy-hittagock's
430
00:17:31,871 --> 00:17:33,558
stittagill frittagail.
431
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,012
- Guys...
- Littaget's jittagust
432
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,133
tittagell hittagim whittagut hittagee
433
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,188
wittagants tittagoo hittageer.
434
00:17:39,357 --> 00:17:41,007
All right, BoJack.
435
00:17:41,013 --> 00:17:42,525
- We'll tell her.
- Yeah?
436
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,231
Yeah. But you need to leave. Right now.
437
00:17:45,237 --> 00:17:46,324
[SIGHS]
438
00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:47,639
Okay.
439
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,156
Welcome to the best
workout routine in L.A.
440
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,158
Nothing motivates like fear.
441
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:59,287
So remember, once you're
in there, don't stop running.
442
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,831
If the clown dentists catch
you, they will bite you,
443
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,666
and they have very healthy teeth.
444
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:06,002
[CHUCKLES] Okay, but not really, right?
445
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,430
Nope, really. They will actually bite
446
00:18:08,436 --> 00:18:10,970
you, and they do actually have rabies.
447
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,092
Wow, guess I'm gonna really have to run.
448
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,136
No more excuses. This is great.
449
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,161
Exactly! And don't forget...
450
00:18:17,177 --> 00:18:18,633
Have fun in there!
451
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,260
- [WOMAN] Whoo-hoo!
- [MAN] Let's do this.
452
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,351
- [MAN 2] Let's go.
- [ALL SCREAMING]
453
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,226
Well, you did it. You
made a better business.
454
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,483
We did it.
455
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,902
Between your no-nonsense approach
456
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,447
and my the-regular-amount-
of-nonsense approach,
457
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,115
we make a pretty good team.
458
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,242
Yes. I'm going back to my job.
459
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,286
But if anything happens
here and you need me,
460
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,830
or if you just wanna hang out again,
461
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,082
grab a drink, you should
call me sometime.
462
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,612
Oh, um, I should tell you,
463
00:18:47,618 --> 00:18:49,414
I'm actually asexual.
464
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,154
Yeah, I know. So am I.
465
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,043
That's why I'm asking you out.
466
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,365
Oh! Uh, okay.
467
00:18:55,371 --> 00:18:57,493
Okay. Goodbye.
468
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,806
Huh.
469
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,607
[DOORBELL CHIMES, WHINNIES]
470
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,564
- I have to talk to you.
- Make yourself at home.
471
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,405
I screwed up. I'm sorry.
472
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,449
I promised you'd do this show.
473
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,452
I don't know why. I just...
I needed something...
474
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:22,828
- I'll do it.
- What?
475
00:19:22,834 --> 00:19:24,345
You want me to do it, I'll do it.
476
00:19:24,351 --> 00:19:26,045
God knows you've done enough for me.
477
00:19:26,051 --> 00:19:27,262
[GROANS]
478
00:19:27,268 --> 00:19:29,579
What's wrong? I said I'd do it.
479
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:33,130
It's just really hard to need people.
480
00:19:33,136 --> 00:19:35,086
Yeah, but...
481
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,626
Yeah. Thank you.
482
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,471
Eh, it'll be good for me to
get out of the house anyway.
483
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,639
You want a drink?
484
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,974
- Water.
- Water? "Water" you pregnant?
485
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:46,018
[CHUCKLES] Very much not so.
486
00:19:46,024 --> 00:19:47,759
I heard you got a new boyfriend.
487
00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:49,434
- We broke up.
- Oh.
488
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,226
Sounds like an asshole.
489
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,073
He was actually the
first guy I ever dated
490
00:19:53,079 --> 00:19:55,157
who wasn't an asshole.
491
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,042
Well, onwards and upwards.
492
00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:59,109
I heard you had a kid living with you?
493
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,951
No. She's got these adopted dads.
494
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,620
They're total dicks, but
they take care of her.
495
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,831
- She'll have a good life.
- Oh.
496
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:09,506
- You ever think of adopting?
- [SIGHS]
497
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,361
- More and more lately.
- You should.
498
00:20:11,424 --> 00:20:12,807
You'd be a good mom.
499
00:20:12,813 --> 00:20:14,216
The world needs good moms.
500
00:20:14,222 --> 00:20:16,053
I'll take that under advisement.
501
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,176
Well, I guess I'll see you on set.
502
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,095
I'm looking forward to it.
503
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,242
Now, back to normal.
504
00:20:29,248 --> 00:20:31,224
Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter.
505
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,880
Here we are. The rest of our lives.
506
00:20:33,886 --> 00:20:35,519
I wanna show you something.
507
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,841
I had the contractor put this together
508
00:20:37,847 --> 00:20:39,452
while we were gone. Close your eyes.
509
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,158
- [DIANE] Okay...
- All right. Open them.
510
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,202
- Oh, my God! It's...
- Pretty cool, huh?
511
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:46,466
Why would you do this?
512
00:20:46,472 --> 00:20:48,669
It's what you always wanted, right?
513
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,167
It's too much. I didn't
want it like this.
514
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,252
- Like what?
- I don't know. I'm sorry.
515
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,667
This is great. I'm sorry.
516
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,722
Why would you think I would like this?
517
00:20:57,728 --> 00:21:00,134
Because you told me this is
what you always dreamed of?
518
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,386
I don't like big gestures like this!
519
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,847
- How many times have I...?
- Yeah, but this is...
520
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,975
This was a fantasy, something
that belonged to me.
521
00:21:07,981 --> 00:21:09,729
- Why couldn't you have asked me...
- I'm sorry.
522
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:12,688
I'm sorry I ever try to
surprise you, or do nice things.
523
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,940
Do you know how much it cost
to get 5,000 fake books?
524
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,511
So I'm the bitch? Is that what you...
525
00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:18,365
I'm sorry that I wanted to make our home
526
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,446
feel like a place that
you would want to live
527
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,072
that could be yours as well as mine!
528
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,033
Why is that so important to you?
529
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,243
Because otherwise, it feels
like you're a guest.
530
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:27,806
And unlike the talking candlestick
531
00:21:27,812 --> 00:21:29,376
in the aforementioned Disney film,
532
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,040
I don't want you to be that.
533
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,291
It makes me feel shitty.
534
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,834
Like you're just visiting here,
535
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,920
until the next thing and
you're gonna leave me
536
00:21:35,926 --> 00:21:37,957
when you get bored or
you find something better.
537
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,757
Like Katrina did. Like Jessica did.
538
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,384
You can't use your ex-wives against me.
539
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,220
I'm just telling you how I feel.
540
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,555
I was trying to do a nice thing for you.
541
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,099
This is not how I thought
this would go at all.
542
00:21:49,105 --> 00:21:50,356
[SIGHS]
543
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:53,270
Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter.
Back to normal, right?
544
00:21:53,276 --> 00:21:55,319
[CHUCKLES]
545
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,261
You know, sometimes I feel like our
546
00:21:57,267 --> 00:21:59,198
marriage is like a magic eye poster.
547
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,111
- I love those things.
- I know.
548
00:22:01,117 --> 00:22:02,562
And it's messy.
549
00:22:02,568 --> 00:22:05,037
And at first glance, it doesn't
seem to make any sense.
550
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:07,701
And it's hard to figure out.
551
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,453
But sometimes,
552
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:12,617
if you squint at it just
right, everything lines up,
553
00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:15,171
and it's the most perfect...
554
00:22:15,177 --> 00:22:17,633
Beautiful, amazing thing.
555
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,547
Yeah. I know what you mean.
556
00:22:19,553 --> 00:22:20,835
But...
557
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,717
[VOICE BREAKS]
I'm so tired of squinting.
558
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:26,679
[CRYING]
559
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,138
Oh...
560
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,569
What?
561
00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:44,196
- Oh, Christ.
- [RINGTONE CHIMING]
562
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:48,701
- Hollyhock.
- Hi.
563
00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:50,202
- How are you?
- Listen...
564
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:52,496
I wanted to thank you
for finding my mom.
565
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,206
- They told you?
- Not exactly.
566
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:57,001
They have this secret dad language
they think I don't understand,
567
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,211
but it's super obvious
what they're saying.
568
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,464
[CHUCKLES] You're too
smart for your own good.
569
00:23:02,470 --> 00:23:04,347
So, yeah, I've been
570
00:23:04,353 --> 00:23:06,307
talking to Henrietta on the phone and
571
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,262
she seems really nice.
572
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,388
Really? Wow!
573
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,218
I'm gonna visit her in Minneapolis.
574
00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:12,771
I'm at the airport right now.
575
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,351
Right now? That's incredible.
576
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:17,062
No, what's incredible is
this place at the airport
577
00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:19,481
charged me ten dollars
for a cup of fruit.
578
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:20,941
- What?
- And get this.
579
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,068
It's like 90 percent honeydew.
580
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:24,695
Are you kidding me? Why?
581
00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:26,902
What on-the-go jet-setter's demanding
582
00:23:26,908 --> 00:23:29,204
more honeydew in his or her fruit cup?
583
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:31,201
Nobody ever wants honeydew,
it's always there.
584
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,704
It is literally the worst
part of everything it's in.
585
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:35,706
It's like the Jared Leto of fruits.
586
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,082
Thank you. Exactly.
587
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,303
Mmm.
588
00:23:39,011 --> 00:23:40,471
Well...
589
00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:43,881
Anyway, they're about to
start boarding, so...
590
00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:46,759
Hollyhock, I'm sorry I didn't
take better care of you.
591
00:23:46,765 --> 00:23:48,397
I shouldn't have moved in with you.
592
00:23:48,403 --> 00:23:50,089
It was maybe too much too fast.
593
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,264
- Yeah.
- But it wasn't all bad.
594
00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:55,225
I mean, yeah, I got secretly
drugged for months on end
595
00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:56,936
to the point I was living in a nightmare
596
00:23:56,942 --> 00:23:58,567
which I couldn't recognize my own body
597
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,898
or understand what was
happening to my brain, but,
598
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,734
other than that, it was a
pretty chill experience.
599
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:04,943
I should have protected you.
600
00:24:04,949 --> 00:24:07,106
I really wanted to be a
good dad to you, Hollyhock.
601
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,615
Well, turns out you're
not my dad at all.
602
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,617
Yeah. Good thing, I guess.
603
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,185
Yeah. Good thing.
604
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,638
So, uh, Minneapolis, huh?
605
00:24:17,644 --> 00:24:19,713
Did you rent a car or a cab?
606
00:24:19,719 --> 00:24:21,578
BoJack, it's all taken care of.
607
00:24:21,584 --> 00:24:23,962
- I gotta go.
- Is there anything, uh, I can do?
608
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:26,465
I can upgrade your seats, or...
or send you better fruit.
609
00:24:26,471 --> 00:24:27,973
BoJack, look,
610
00:24:27,979 --> 00:24:29,814
I never needed you to be a dad.
611
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:31,261
I'm going to be fine.
612
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:33,764
I told you from the
beginning, I have eight dads.
613
00:24:33,770 --> 00:24:35,586
Yeah. Yeah.
614
00:24:35,883 --> 00:24:37,008
Good.
615
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,260
But...
616
00:24:38,266 --> 00:24:40,706
I've never had a brother.
617
00:24:50,220 --> 00:24:52,639
♪ Make way ♪
618
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:56,787
♪ For the new time ♪
619
00:24:56,793 --> 00:24:59,504
♪ Can't wait ♪
620
00:24:59,510 --> 00:25:02,888
♪ On the sideline ♪
621
00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:06,316
♪ Making voices you don't understand ♪
622
00:25:06,591 --> 00:25:09,511
♪ People who aren't listening ♪
623
00:25:09,625 --> 00:25:12,795
♪ And no one is gonna turn my hand ♪
624
00:25:12,989 --> 00:25:14,365
♪ Away ♪
625
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:17,712
♪ Away ♪
626
00:25:19,377 --> 00:25:23,703
♪ Can't look back and
I can't look away ♪
627
00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:28,987
♪ Away ♪
628
00:25:29,622 --> 00:25:32,333
♪ Wake up great I'll wake up fine ♪
629
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,993
♪ Wake up great I'll wake up fine ♪
630
00:25:35,999 --> 00:25:39,711
♪ Wake up great I'll wake up fine ♪
631
00:25:48,341 --> 00:25:51,419
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -