This programme contains strong language and adult humour
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
Take some government advice, sit the family down,
and get ready for your daily hour of screen time -
it's Friday we're live and it's time for The Last Leg.
Tonight
Tonight we focus on Iran, give
social
Tonight we focus on Iran, give social media the side eye and zoom
in
social media the side eye and zoom in on disability sport and we are
joined
in on disability sport and we are joined by a Charlotte Church and
Nabil
joined by a Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdulrashid. On the show that
always
Nabil Abdulrashid. On the show that always takes a stern look at the
news.
G'day.
Wow!
I'm Adam Hills.
Welcome to The Last Leg,
the show that heard the owner of OnlyFans died and thought,
"I wonder if you have to pay extra for an open coffin."
With me are the pride of Dartmoor Josh Widdicombe...
...and the man who thought crude oil was the opposite of extra virgin,
Alex Brooker.
APPLAUSE.
Loads
Loads to
Loads to get through. Something
happened
Loads to get through. Something happened to me during the week, I
know
happened to me during the week, I know it happened to Alex in a
similar
know it happened to Alex in a similar way.
I was walking to tennis and a woman looked at my
prosthetic and said, "Ooh, ouch."
I
I had
I had it
I had it taped up. I keep saying,
you
I had it taped up. I keep saying, you have got to get a new leg. I
like
you have got to get a new leg. I like this one. Ditto I like this one
as
like this one. Ditto I like this one as well. This woman saw my
prosthetic
as well. This woman saw my prosthetic leg and went, "oh, ouch!"
She
prosthetic leg and went, "oh, ouch!" She went so quickly that I didn't
have
She went so quickly that I didn't have time to go... What a weird
thing
have time to go... What a weird thing to say? Imagine she seen
Brooker
thing to say? Imagine she seen Brooker - ouch! Like ET with a light
up
Brooker - ouch! Like ET with a light up finger. You said a woman walked
past
up finger. You said a woman walked past and saw you in our tennis gear
and
past and saw you in our tennis gear and said ouch, I thought she was the
fashion
and said ouch, I thought she was the fashion police! But you know I have
had
fashion police! But you know I have had it before. I was in my shorts
and
had it before. I was in my shorts and I was in the supermarket and a
geezer
and I was in the supermarket and a geezer kept looking and you know
when
geezer kept looking and you know when something's going to say
something.
when something's going to say something. He went, so, what
happeneded
something. He went, so, what happeneded there? I said I had to
have
happeneded there? I said I had to have my foot amputated when I was a
baby
have my foot amputated when I was a baby because I didn't have a bone in
my
baby because I didn't have a bone in my lower leg. He just went, "well, I
hope
my lower leg. He just went, "well, I hope it gets better!"
You
You must
You must have had people wish for
you
You must have had people wish for you to get better. Yes I used to
only
you to get better. Yes I used to only have one leg, but it grew back.
You
only have one leg, but it grew back. You had it in the gym. I was in the
gym
You had it in the gym. I was in the gym and this geezer kept looking at
my
gym and this geezer kept looking at my leg. People do a double take,
specially
my leg. People do a double take, specially in the gym. They're going
he
specially in the gym. They're going he has done more than skip a leg
day.
he has done more than skip a leg day. He kept looking at the lower
part.
day. He kept looking at the lower part. I got in the shower at home
and
part. I got in the shower at home and I had forgotten I had let my
eldest
and I had forgotten I had let my eldest decorate the leg with
stickers.
eldest decorate the leg with stickers. Including one that just
says
stickers. Including one that just says "love". Which Josh put on
there.
says "love". Which Josh put on there. When you lifted your trousers
up,
there. When you lifted your trousers up, the only thing I thought was -
ouch!
up, the only thing I thought was - ouch! It is fine, my with the
Sabrina
ouch! It is fine, my with the Sabrina Carpenter stickers, I looked
like
Sabrina Carpenter stickers, I looked like a pervert.
I'm about to say a sentence now that I've never said on the show,
and never thought I would.
In other capybara news...
LAUGHTER.
A rogue capybara escaped from Marwell Zoo last week and has
been spotted across Hampshire, at a pub quiz and on the banks
of the River Itchen.
"I don't know who that hairy guy was,
but he was great on South American geography."
Alex
Alex Brooker.
This surprising video was taken of the rodent on the banks
of a river, but listen for the name of the woman's dog.
Growler?
Growler? Growler? Oh, no Growler, wait. Growler!
What
What the
What the hell was that?
Who calls their dog Growler?
Is that this year's Fenton?
I'm
I'm not
I'm not sure naming your dog after
slang
I'm not sure naming your dog after slang term for growler parts is...
This
slang term for growler parts is... This is my sausage dog Schlonge.
Here,
This is my sausage dog Schlonge. Here, Minge. I have always wanted to
shout
Here, Minge. I have always wanted to shout that on TV. I don't believe I
said
shout that on TV. I don't believe I said the word minge on telly.
Alex, you actually met a capybara recently?
There
There he
There he is. He thought I will see
this
There he is. He thought I will see this thing with funny paws. The
capybaras
this thing with funny paws. The capybaras are like star bucks, if
you
capybaras are like star bucks, if you get ten, you get to keep one.
We are live, so feel free to ask us any questions about
the news.
You can message us on Instagram with the hashtag #isitok,
or on WhatsApp using the number 07956 175 908
or by scanning the QR code on the screen.
Crispin
Crispin Fish irasked will Tiger
Woods
Crispin Fish irasked will Tiger Woods be looking for a new driver?
We all wondered what World War III would look like.
Turns out it's a lot more ridiculous than any of us would have predicted.
In the last 24 hours, Donald Trump described
the British Navy as "toys," said Iran had been
"beat to shit," and implied that the new Ayatollah was gay.
It
It sounds
It sounds like Jay from the
Inbetweeners.
It sounds like Jay from the Inbetweeners. One of your mates came
out
Inbetweeners. One of your mates came out with that stuff in the pub, you
would
out with that stuff in the pub, you would say, shall we get him home?
We're not sure which of those statements prompted the CIA
Director John Ratcliffe to adopt this relatable pose.
I
I thought
I thought they were just playing
hide
I thought they were just playing hide and seek? 99, 100. Donald is
hiding
hide and seek? 99, 100. Donald is hiding the one place you wouldn't
expect
hiding the one place you wouldn't expect - Melania's bedroom! You know
when
expect - Melania's bedroom! You know when you play hide and seek with a
kid,
when you play hide and seek with a kid, with Donald Trump, you know,
you
kid, with Donald Trump, you know, you can see him poke, out, but you
have
you can see him poke, out, but you have to prevent you can't see him.
Trump also rambled at length about his love of Sharpie pens,
before owning himself in this less than humble brag.
I'm
I'm the
I'm the only person that ever took a
cognitive
I'm the only person that ever took a cognitive test. I took it three
times,
cognitive test. I took it three times, it is a hard test for a lot
of
times, it is a hard test for a lot of people, it wasn't hard for me. It
starts
of people, it wasn't hard for me. It starts with an easier question and
by
starts with an easier question and by the time you get to the end, very
few
by the time you get to the end, very few people can answer those
questions,
few people can answer those questions, they get tough, equations
and
questions, they get tough, equations and things. I took it three times. I
aced
and things. I took it three times. I aced it all three times in front of
numerous
aced it all three times in front of numerous doctors, who I have no idea
who
numerous doctors, who I have no idea who they are. Why is he doing it
again?
who they are. Why is he doing it again? If he is acing it, they're
going
again? If he is acing it, they're going that was good, I have got to
see
going that was good, I have got to see you do it again. I think it
passes
see you do it again. I think it passes it, goes out and has another
press
passes it, goes out and has another press conference and says, this
computer
press conference and says, this computer doesn't work. Having to
take
computer doesn't work. Having to take a test multiple times is not a
good
take a test multiple times is not a good thing. I don't want to get in a
cab
good thing. I don't want to get in a cab with a driver who says, I have
taken
cab with a driver who says, I have taken the test nine times or you
going
taken the test nine times or you going home with someone who says I
have
going home with someone who says I have been tested for syphilis four
times.
There's been a lot of back and forward this week.
In fact, the whole thing has been very "he said, Shi'ite said."
Trump has repeatedly said this week that
Iran are "begging for a deal," but they say that's not true.
And lets' face it, it's definitely not the first time Trump's assumed
someone was begging for it when they absolutely weren't.
AUDIENCE
AUDIENCE GROANS. Yes! Repost that
one
AUDIENCE GROANS. Yes! Repost that one you orange furball!
This week, an Iranian spokesman explained the
situation in a way that made it sound less like a geopolitical
confrontation and more like a high school spat.
Our
Our American counter parts have
begun
Our American counter parts have begun sending messages through
others.
begun sending messages through others. Other countries that are our
friends.
others. Other countries that are our friends. If there are messages
through
friends. If there are messages through others to which we respond
with
through others to which we respond with our own position and demands,
that
with our own position and demands, that is not called conversation, nor
negotiations
that is not called conversation, nor negotiations or anything. This is
simply
negotiations or anything. This is simply sending messages through
others.
That's the political equivalent of saying,
"If you've got something to say to me, say it my face."
The
The only
The only time you pass messages to
someone
The only time you pass messages to someone through your friends is when
you're
someone through your friends is when you're at school and you fancy
someone.
you're at school and you fancy someone. Speaking of which, Adam,
can
someone. Speaking of which, Adam, can you come over here a second? Do
you
can you come over here a second? Do you mind? Can you... Just give this
to
you mind? Can you... Just give this to Josh for me, please? Not with a
capybara
to Josh for me, please? Not with a capybara involved, no!
Don't
Don't worry, you can't catch it, I
have
Don't worry, you can't catch it, I have been telling you for 14 years.
I
have been telling you for 14 years. I have been tested four times!
At one point this week, Trump said he was working with the Ayatollah,
but that's the same guy whose father Trump killed, and who may
or may not be in a coma.
So he's either angry or sleepy.
How
How will
How will the talks go if he is in a
coma.
It'll be like Weekend At Bernie's.
It's not surprising that Iran were a little bit
confused by it all.
This week, Donald Trump presented them with a 15-point plan.
Check out the specifics in this vague clip.
15
15 points. They won't have a nuclear
weapon
15 points. They won't have a nuclear weapon that is No 1, that is no 1, 2
and
weapon that is No 1, that is no 1, 2 and 3. They will never have a
nuclear
and 3. They will never have a nuclear weapon.
You can't just repeat the first two points over again.
It's not the rules of Fight Club.
Four through 15 are, "What did I just say?"
Everyone
Everyone thinks the reason why
they're
Everyone thinks the reason why they're not agreeing is because of
the
they're not agreeing is because of the nuclear weapons. But its not, I
found
the nuclear weapons. But its not, I found out that the US are asking in
those
found out that the US are asking in those 15 points, asking Iran to do
things
those 15 points, asking Iran to do things that are impossible - like
point
things that are impossible - like point 6 is eat a doughnut without
licking
point 6 is eat a doughnut without licking your lips. And one is find
something
licking your lips. And one is find something that rimes with orange.
One,
something that rimes with orange. One, two, three, are no nuclear
weapons.
One, two, three, are no nuclear weapons. One, two, three, four, are,
I
weapons. One, two, three, four, are, I declare a thumb war. And five,
six,
I declare a thumb war. And five, six, seven eight, is who do we
appreciate?
The mad thing is that Iran already agreed
not to have a nuclear weapon before this war began.
In fact, the entire plan seems to be from May 2025.
The giveaway was that it contained references to the Hawk Tuah girl.
Point
Point 7
Point 7 is you have to watch
Adolescence.
Point 7 is you have to watch Adolescence. I think it's... I
forgot
Adolescence. I think it's... I forgot what I was going to say! You
know
forgot what I was going to say! You know what, I was thinking, is the
Hawk
know what, I was thinking, is the Hawk Tuah Girl laughing? Point 11 is
you're
Hawk Tuah Girl laughing? Point 11 is you're to listen to Lily Allen's new
album.
you're to listen to Lily Allen's new album. And I won the thumb war.
Earlier in the week, Trump thanked Iran for giving the US
a "very big present worth a tremendous amount of money."
Turns out, the big gift was allowing eight ships
through the Strait of Hormuz.
Eight.
Before the war, there were 138 ships a day going through that Strait.
This is not that much of a gift!
If this was Love Actually,
Donald Trump just got a Joni Mitchell CD.
Thankfully the British ship HMS Dragon finally arrived this week,
four weeks after the war began.
And
And they
And they had to borrow a ship from
Germany.
And they had to borrow a ship from Germany. How that is working,
borrowing
Germany. How that is working, borrowing a ship off someone to take
to
borrowing a ship off someone to take to war. Is Keir Starmer having to go
around
to war. Is Keir Starmer having to go around with a German bloke with a
diagram,
around with a German bloke with a diagram, marking where the dents are
in
diagram, marking where the dents are in the car. There is a scratch on
the
in the car. There is a scratch on the starboard side. The captain gets
in
the starboard side. The captain gets in the seats really far back. Make
sure
in the seats really far back. Make sure you return it with a full tank!
So as the ceasefire is extended, and the world speculates as to how
Donald Trump is behaving, we think we've found
a pattern of bullshit.
There's an acronym being used to describe Donald Trump's way
of operating, and it's TACO - Trump Always Chickens Out.
But I think something else is going on,
and I think Trump's hairstyle is the key to all this.
Donald Trump likes to charge into things head-first.
But it doesn't always work out.
Take Iran, for example.
This is a vague map of the Strait of Hormuz.
Can you tell what it is yet?
APPLAUSE.
Trump bombed these guys, who then attacked these guys,
and blocked this up,
stopping all the oil coming from over here.
As you can see, he's made an absolute mess of it.
So what does he do?
APPLAUSE.
He just brushes over it with claims of a peace deal
that may or may not exist.
All he needs is a sympathetic media to create a smokescreen
and hold his story in place.
Oh,
Oh, that's real. The hair? It
doesn't
Oh, that's real. The hair? It doesn't look like my hair now, let's
be
doesn't look like my hair now, let's be honest.
doesn't look like my hair now, let's be honest.-- doesn't look unlike my
hair
be honest.-- doesn't look unlike my hair now.
But this isn't the first time Donald Trump has done this
Look at Stormy Daniels.
Trump denied having an affair with the former adult actress,
but his lawyer paid $130,000 in hush money
for her to keep quiet about the allegations.
Oh,
Oh, I
Oh, I got
Oh, I got it in my mouth!
What about Trump University, set up in 2004?
It didn't actually confer grades or degrees,
and was the subject of a number of lawsuits,
three of which Trump settled out of court for $25 million.
Then there was Trump Steaks.
It's
It's in
It's in my eyes!
Trump Casino Atlantic City.
And Trump Shuttle,
an airline that went under,
ironically, partly due to a spike in fuel prices during the Gulf War.
That
That was
That was like being in Guantanamo
Bay.
Donald Trump has spent his life running headfirst into things,
making an absolute mess, and then somehow managing
to cover it all up, which means Taco doesn't stand for
Trump Always Chickens Out, it actually stands for
Trump Always Combs Over.
APPLAUSE.
And there you have it.
Male pattern bullshit.
All right, let's welcome tonight's guests.
She's a singer who hosts dreaming retreats in the woods.
He's a comedian who has a purple belt in ju jitsu.
She's a lover and he's a fighter.
It's Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdulrashid.
APPLAUSE.
Hello!
CHEERING.
What do you make of the world at the moment, Charlotte?
SHE GROANS.
That
That can
That can be an answer. I think we
would
That can be an answer. I think we would not be in this pickle if there
were
would not be in this pickle if there were far more women in power.
APPLAUSE.
APPLAUSE. I think really the long
and
APPLAUSE. I think really the long and short of it is male egos. No
argument
and short of it is male egos. No argument here. Nabil, what have you
made
argument here. Nabil, what have you made of Trump under Ron and all of
it?
made of Trump under Ron and all of it?-- Trump and Iran. Well, far be
it
it?-- Trump and Iran. Well, far be it from me to regurgitate crazy
right
it from me to regurgitate crazy right wing conspiracy theories,
but...
APPLAUSE
but... APPLAUSE.
Donald
APPLAUSE. Donald Trump is friends with Elon
Musk.
Donald Trump is friends with Elon Musk. There was a fake break-up, and
Elon
Musk. There was a fake break-up, and Elon Musk is all in favour of
electric
Elon Musk is all in favour of electric cars. They fixed that
break-up,
electric cars. They fixed that break-up, he then starts a war that
makes
break-up, he then starts a war that makes oil become expensive.
break-up, he then starts a war that makes oil become expensive.-- faked
the
makes oil become expensive.-- faked the break-up. Donald Trump has
become
the break-up. Donald Trump has become radicalised by Just Stop Oil.
LAUGHTER
become radicalised by Just Stop Oil. LAUGHTER.
APPLAUSE
LAUGHTER. APPLAUSE.
And
And be
And be further proof as this. What
are
And be further proof as this. What are they known for? They put orange
paint
are they known for? They put orange paint on statues. Stay side, people.
paint on statues. Stay side, people.-- state woke, people.
-- state woke, people. APPLAUSE
-- state woke, people. APPLAUSE.
Charlotte, you are asked to sing at Trump's inauguration.
In 2017, you tweeted,
"Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration.
A simple internet search would show I think you're a tyrant.
Bye," followed by four poo emojis.
Any regrets?
Would you add a fifth poo emoji today?
Yes,
Yes, definitely.
This week, Trump's egomania reached new heights as a coin was approved
with him on one side, to mark America's 250th anniversary.
This is what the brash new coin reportedly looks like.
He
He looks
He looks like he is about to get a
prostate
He looks like he is about to get a prostate exam. I have had three
prostate
prostate exam. I have had three prostate exams, and I aced them all.
APPLAUSE
prostate exams, and I aced them all. APPLAUSE.
With
APPLAUSE. With a whole bunch of people, I
don't
With a whole bunch of people, I don't know who they were.
What's weird is, in America,
it's illegal to have a living President on a coin.
There are two ways of fixing that.
There are some arguments over how big the coin should be,
and still a few over the design,
so bring in the coin!
Not
Not surprisingly, Trump wants it to
be
Not surprisingly, Trump wants it to be as big as possible. This is the
biggest
be as big as possible. This is the biggest one we could make.
As you can see, this is the front, or the heads, if you will.
But every head needs a tail, so this is what we think
the back of the coin should look like.
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE.
I'm
I'm pretty sure that is called
Buttcoin.
We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break,
APPLAUSE.
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdulrashid.
In other news, a woman in America has successfully
sued Meta and YouTube over her childhood addiction
to social media.
Jurors found that both companies intentionally built addictive
social media platforms that harmed the 20-year-old's mental health.
How do we all feel about this?
I'm
I'm pleased they have lost, I think
it
I'm pleased they have lost, I think it is excellent news. CHEERING AND
APPLAUSE.
it is excellent news. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. Because you sent me that
in
APPLAUSE. Because you sent me that in a Facebook message. I think
obviously
in a Facebook message. I think obviously there is lots of positive
things
obviously there is lots of positive things and social media, but I
think...
things and social media, but I think... It is not just that I think
companies
think... It is not just that I think companies are not interested in
stopping
companies are not interested in stopping people addicted to it. It
is
stopping people addicted to it. It is beneficial for them to make
people
is beneficial for them to make people addicted to it. They want
people
people addicted to it. They want people on it and they want people
addicted
people on it and they want people addicted and keep going. I think it
is
addicted and keep going. I think it is obvious that they're doing that.
You
is obvious that they're doing that. You run retreats in the wood, it is
perfect
You run retreats in the wood, it is perfect news for you. It is
important,
perfect news for you. It is important, the scientific evidence
is
important, the scientific evidence is really, it is not just
compelling,
is really, it is not just compelling, it is just completely
self-evident
compelling, it is just completely self-evident that the cognitive
decline
self-evident that the cognitive decline and the way young people's
brains
decline and the way young people's brains are growing, because of
addiction
brains are growing, because of addiction to social media. This
isn't
addiction to social media. This isn't to say, technology isn't the
bad
isn't to say, technology isn't the bad thing, technology is a tool and
can
bad thing, technology is a tool and can do some amazing things. It is
the
can do some amazing things. It is the intention behind the technology
and
the intention behind the technology and the people who have control of
technology
and the people who have control of technology are horrific fascists!
APPLAUSE.
technology are horrific fascists! APPLAUSE. They are invested in us
being...
APPLAUSE. They are invested in us being... You know captive in so many
ways.
being... You know captive in so many ways. Our children being captive. So
I
ways. Our children being captive. So I believe like we can't wait for
governments
I believe like we can't wait for governments and nation states to put
in
governments and nation states to put in the legislation that protects us.
I
in the legislation that protects us. I think we have to practise
guardianship
I think we have to practise guardianship in our own households
and
guardianship in our own households and families. Now it has been proved
to
and families. Now it has been proved to be harmful, can they have
warnings
to be harmful, can they have warnings on it like cigarettes, log
on
warnings on it like cigarettes, log on to Facebook and see a photo of
someone
on to Facebook and see a photo of someone who has been cat fished.
Nabil?
someone who has been cat fished. Nabil? It is almost like
millionaires
Nabil? It is almost like millionaires don't care about
people!
millionaires don't care about people! I have a restaurant policy
when
people! I have a restaurant policy when it comes to these thing hs, if
you
when it comes to these thing hs, if you go to a Nigerian or a Chinese or
a
you go to a Nigerian or a Chinese or a Thai restaurant and there are no
Nigerians
a Thai restaurant and there are no Nigerians or Chinese or Thai eating
there,
Nigerians or Chinese or Thai eating there, don't eat there. The owner of
tic
there, don't eat there. The owner of tic Knock TikTok doesn't allow his
children
tic Knock TikTok doesn't allow his children on TikTok - what the fuck
are
children on TikTok - what the fuck are you doing on TikTok?
While we're talking social media, the thumbs up emoji has been voted
Britain's least favourite message icon, with people complaining that
it's "blunt, lazy and rude".
Tell
Tell me
Tell me about it - fucking get rid
of
Tell me about it - fucking get rid of it. You shouldn't be allowed to
do
of it. You shouldn't be allowed to do it in real life.
What is everyone's most used emoji?
I'm
I'm a
I'm a chronic voice noter. I think
voice
I'm a chronic voice noter. I think voice noting is a superior form of
communication.
voice noting is a superior form of communication. Why not just call?
You
communication. Why not just call? You raise a very good point. Also my
husband's
You raise a very good point. Also my husband's like on at me often that
my
husband's like on at me often that my elongated you know sort of
bumbling
my elongated you know sort of bumbling voice notes are a little
self-ill
bumbling voice notes are a little self-ill dull gent. How long are
they
self-ill dull gent. How long are they I had one that was eight
minutes.
they I had one that was eight minutes. I usually about three
minutes.
minutes. I usually about three minutes. That is already, my
favourite
minutes. That is already, my favourite emoji that guy... The guy
with
favourite emoji that guy... The guy with the big wide mouth guy? You
know
with the big wide mouth guy? You know the one? He has a big wide
mouth
know the one? He has a big wide mouth and he looks shocked. Yeah.
You
mouth and he looks shocked. Yeah. You know the one I mean? Yeah. That
guy.
You know the one I mean? Yeah. That guy. I know we have been going down
on
guy. I know we have been going down on social media and technology, if
somebody
on social media and technology, if somebody can make that into a
sticker!
somebody can make that into a sticker! You know what I mean, those
awkward
sticker! You know what I mean, those awkward situations... Are the teeth
ones.
awkward situations... Are the teeth ones. That guy. Why didn't you know
your
ones. That guy. Why didn't you know your teeth then?
Meanwhile, Argos has ignited a debate after releasing
a wooden "influencer kit" aimed at toddlers.
We
We have
We have one here. It is for ages
three
We have one here. It is for ages three and above. I will set it up,
it
three and above. I will set it up, it has a tripod and a ring light and
a
it has a tripod and a ring light and a phone. I guess that is a I guess
that
a phone. I guess that is a I guess that is a mini-tablet and a
microphone.
that is a mini-tablet and a microphone. What do we think? The
audience
microphone. What do we think? The audience seemed horrified. I don't
like
audience seemed horrified. I don't like that, but where does it stop?
My
like that, but where does it stop? My first only fans kit? Oh! No! It
also
My first only fans kit? Oh! No! It also comes with this portable plane
to
also comes with this portable plane to get you out of Dubai.
We decided to jump on board and make our own children's toys for
kids who want to grow up to be on The Last Leg.
Lads, what have you come up with?
This
This is
This is our Josh and Alex kit. You
have
This is our Josh and Alex kit. You have the hair to be Josh. And the
glasses.
have the hair to be Josh. And the glasses. Got the podcast mic. And we
have
glasses. Got the podcast mic. And we have got, oh, that was... Because I
have
have got, oh, that was... Because I have got so many nails on my feet.
You
have got so many nails on my feet. You have got Josh's modelling the
Alex
You have got Josh's modelling the Alex one? I have the hair and the
mittens.
Alex one? I have the hair and the mittens. The Alex Brooker hands. You
wear
mittens. The Alex Brooker hands. You wear them at Disney, you get to the
front
wear them at Disney, you get to the front of queue. And your own slide
on
front of queue. And your own slide on prosthetic leg.
APPLAUSE.
I
I took
I took it
I took it in a slightly different
direction.
I've got a My First Bonesaw, some strawberry flavoured anesthetic,
and a shitload of bandages,
all in a little doctor's bag that says "Last Leg Amputation Kit."
Kids, send in your videos, let us know how you get on.
In royal news, the Sun said this week that the Duchess of York,
Sarah Ferguson, once met with an American production company
to discuss taking part in a TV reality show,
in which she would create clones of Elizabeth II's beloved corgis.
I
I was
I was worried if she had taken it on
it
I was worried if she had taken it on it would have gone well and the idea
would
it would have gone well and the idea would be to clone Andrew. Then the
clone
would be to clone Andrew. Then the clone would go to prison. That is
clever.
clone would go to prison. That is clever. Do the jail time for him.
What
clever. Do the jail time for him. What if she mistakingly cloned a
hundred
What if she mistakingly cloned a hundred Andrews. What would you
rather
hundred Andrews. What would you rather fight, a massive Andrew or a
hundred
rather fight, a massive Andrew or a hundred little Andrews. Are we
stoned?
hundred little Andrews. Are we stoned? This give you an idea for a
game?
Now, I'd say that there's no point cloning a corgi
because they all look the same anyway.
But if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me,
"I can tell any corgis apart easily,"
I'd have £2.36 now.
So we thought we'd put it to the test
in a game we're calling...
♪
♪ Corgi
♪ Corgi eyes... I can't believe my
Corgi
♪ Corgi eyes... I can't believe my Corgi eyes!
Yes, it's our brand-new game show, I Can't Believe My Corg-Eyes.
This is a game that the Queen herself used
to regularly play in her drawing room.
In a moment, my dear friend Alex Brooker and I will unveil nine
photos of corgis.
Eight of them are the same dog, but one is a completely different corgi.
Can
Can you
Can you find the different Corgi.
Use
Can you find the different Corgi. Use the powers of your own Corgi
eyes.
Use the powers of your own Corgi eyes. This isn't just a silly game,
because
eyes. This isn't just a silly game, because we have an important special
prize
because we have an important special prize on offer for you. Woo! The
prize
prize on offer for you. Woo! The prize is worth living if you don't
live
prize is worth living if you don't live in a flat or ha allergies.
There
live in a flat or ha allergies. There is Corg, A, B, C, D, E, CorgF.
I
There is Corg, A, B, C, D, E, CorgF. I can hear Charlotte is already
playing.
I can hear Charlotte is already playing. Cor H. What do you think?
Not
playing. Cor H. What do you think? Not the woo. Which Corgi are you
going
Not the woo. Which Corgi are you going for? What are you going for?
What
going for? What are you going for? What do you think? I'm thinking that
C's
What do you think? I'm thinking that C's the real one. Simply, because...
They're
C's the real one. Simply, because... They're all real Corgis. None are
AI.
They're all real Corgis. None are AI. It suspect Corg AI.
They're all real Corgis. None are AI. It suspect Corg AI.-- it isn't
Corg
AI. It suspect Corg AI.-- it isn't Corg AI. CorgC is not the one, the
uncloned
Corg AI. CorgC is not the one, the uncloned one. Do you agree Nabil?
I'm
uncloned one. Do you agree Nabil? I'm not sure. Corg I looks like he
has
I'm not sure. Corg I looks like he has some sus stance problem. C? C.
Nabil.
has some sus stance problem. C? C. Nabil. I will see what I are
recognise!
Nabil. I will see what I are recognise! We probably need an
answer.
recognise! We probably need an answer. I think Corg E. You think E.
You
answer. I think Corg E. You think E. You said C? Oh, well I can tell you
it
You said C? Oh, well I can tell you it is not right. Your eyes have
deceived
it is not right. Your eyes have deceived you. It is Corg D. Sorry
you
deceived you. It is Corg D. Sorry you would have won the special
prize.
you would have won the special prize. Let's see what you could have
won.
prize. Let's see what you could have won. Let's bring it out.
♪
♪ Corgi
♪ Corgi eyes. I can't believe my
Corgi
♪ Corgi eyes. I can't believe my Corgi eyes... Hello, love. Oh, no.
It
Corgi eyes... Hello, love. Oh, no. It is trained to bark on certain
words.
It is trained to bark on certain words. Certain words, yes, he is a
bit
words. Certain words, yes, he is a bit against a certain American
president.
bit against a certain American president. Does it work if I say
Donald
president. Does it work if I say Donald Trump? Trump? DOG BARKS.
We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break,
as we meet England's deaf women's futsal team,
and celebrate a massive victory.
See you soon.
APPLAUSE.
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdulrashid.
In disability news, a woman by the name
of Becky Coleman is hoping to become the first wheelchair user
to row the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race
course in April.
She's here with us tonight.
Please welcome Becky.
APPLAUSE.
Becky,
Becky, you are wearing a mask
because
Becky, you are wearing a mask because you wouldn't want to catch
anything
because you wouldn't want to catch anything before the race, is that
right?
anything before the race, is that right? Yes, I want to stay good for
next
right? Yes, I want to stay good for next week. Awesome. When did you
start
next week. Awesome. When did you start rowing? Just under a year ago,
a
start rowing? Just under a year ago, a couple of days before the Oxford
and
a couple of days before the Oxford and Cambridge boat race last April.
What
and Cambridge boat race last April. What changes have to be made to the
boat?
What changes have to be made to the boat? I wrote with a fix it, I just
wrote
boat? I wrote with a fix it, I just wrote with my arms, and I have
stabilisers
wrote with my arms, and I have stabilisers as well. You are the
first
stabilisers as well. You are the first person to do this. What is the
plan
first person to do this. What is the plan for the future? Possibly rowing
in
plan for the future? Possibly rowing in the US as well at some point. And
maybe
in the US as well at some point. And maybe write a book at some point
about
maybe write a book at some point about my experience of sepsis which
I
about my experience of sepsis which I had a few years ago. And you are
also
I had a few years ago. And you are also an elite triathlete and a top
40
also an elite triathlete and a top 40 wheelchair tennis player. So can
you
40 wheelchair tennis player. So can you stop making the rest of us look
bad?
you stop making the rest of us look bad? APPLAUSE. We have a little gift
for
bad? APPLAUSE. We have a little gift for you, little hands in a boat, the
Paralympic
for you, little hands in a boat, the Paralympic mascot. APPLAUSE. Good
luck.
Paralympic mascot. APPLAUSE. Good luck. Give us a wave. APPLAUSE.
England were crowned champions of the European
Deaf Futsal Championship after their
2-0 win against Poland in the final over the weekend.
Here are some of the highlights.
Here's the first goal from Lucindha Lawson.
Here are the scenes at the final whistle.
And here's the trophy lift.
APPLAUSE.
We're very excited to have them in the studio,
and they're excited to be here, so put your hands in the air
like you really care - for the European Champions,
the England deaf women's futsal team!
APPLAUSE. women's futsal team!
Congratulations to you all. Zara,
the
Congratulations to you all. Zara, the captain, what changes are made
to
the captain, what changes are made to the rules of your game? It is an
indoor
to the rules of your game? It is an indoor five aside football style,
obviously
indoor five aside football style, obviously that is the format without
the
obviously that is the format without the walls. We play on a hard surface
with
the walls. We play on a hard surface with a heavier ball, so it is a bit
different
with a heavier ball, so it is a bit different from football as we play
indoors,
different from football as we play indoors, but in terms of the death
futsal
indoors, but in terms of the death futsal game, we play without our
hearing
futsal game, we play without our hearing devices, and the referees
are
hearing devices, and the referees are supposed to used flags instead
of
are supposed to used flags instead of puzzles.
are supposed to used flags instead of puzzles.-- deaf futsal. It
doesn't
of puzzles.-- deaf futsal. It doesn't always work out like that,
especially
doesn't always work out like that, especially when you see a referee or
if
especially when you see a referee or if Russell and everyone is still
running.
if Russell and everyone is still running. Kate, what are the
challenges
running. Kate, what are the challenges of playing deaf futsal?
Well,
challenges of playing deaf futsal? Well, we can't hear, that the first
one.
APPLAUSE
one. APPLAUSE.
As
APPLAUSE. As we start, I think there are lots
of
As we start, I think there are lots of different things that play a
part,
of different things that play a part, and so we have constantly got
to
part, and so we have constantly got to be aware of every single thing
around
to be aware of every single thing around you, because as Zara said,
sometimes
around you, because as Zara said, sometimes you keep running when
someone
sometimes you keep running when someone else has stopped, and you
end
someone else has stopped, and you end up clattering into each other
sometimes.
end up clattering into each other sometimes. So on the court, that is
one
sometimes. So on the court, that is one thing, and then off the court,
we
one thing, and then off the court, we have all got full-time jobs, and
then
we have all got full-time jobs, and then you have got Ellie with a
full-time
then you have got Ellie with a full-time job and she is also a
mother,
full-time job and she is also a mother, so there are lots of
different
mother, so there are lots of different challenges. Maisie, how do
you
different challenges. Maisie, how do you communicate with each other?
When
you communicate with each other? When we get each other's attentions,
we
When we get each other's attentions, we just get ourselves
When we get each other's attentions, we just get ourselves-- be
ourselves.
we just get ourselves-- be ourselves. Every country has its own
Simon
ourselves. Every country has its own Simon Reed. But the hardest part is
getting
Simon Reed. But the hardest part is getting each other's attention in
the
getting each other's attention in the first place. Some people can
pick
the first place. Some people can pick up a bit of sound, so you can
yell
pick up a bit of sound, so you can yell at them and they will hear you.
Most
yell at them and they will hear you. Most of us, it is frantic waving. Or
you
Most of us, it is frantic waving. Or you can jump up and down and stomp
your
you can jump up and down and stomp your feet and still not get the
person's
your feet and still not get the person's attention. Sophie, you are
17,
person's attention. Sophie, you are 17, so where are you calling home
regularly?
17, so where are you calling home regularly?-- were you calling home
regularly?-- were you calling home regularly? To be fair, called my
friends
regularly? To be fair, called my friends more than I called my mum,
probably. We want to sign futsal's
coming
probably. We want to sign futsal's coming home. Can you show us how to
do
coming home. Can you show us how to do that? Does it have to be the
right
do that? Does it have to be the right hand? It's coming home
♪
right hand? It's coming home ♪ It's coming home
♪
♪ It's coming home ♪ It's coming
♪
♪ It's coming ♪ Futsal's coming home #.
We'll put those skills to use after the break,
as we hold a singalong and a sign-along for the England
Deaf Women's Futsal team.
♪ It's coming home
APPLAUSE.
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdulrashid.
In news you may have missed, former Tory MP named Crispin Blunt
Sharks swimming in the Bahamas have been found to have traces
of cocaine in their blood.
Oh, good, cos sharks aren't cocky enough.
Although it would be easier to get away from them if,
before they bit you, they insisted on telling
you a really quick story about crypto.
Can't wait for the movie Grinding Jaws.
Along with the Great White Powder,
sharks were also found to have caffeine in their system.
I don't know if you've ever seen an over-caffeinated shark
who's also taking cocaine, but if you've ever been to
an estate agent's Christmas party, it's pretty much the same vibe.
In news you may have missed, former Tory MP named Crispin Blunt
was revealed this week to have been in possession of crystal meth.
They also found cannabis, presumably for a joint,
or as it's known on the street, a Crispin Blunt.
He represented himself in court - which is never a good sign -
and said that he hosted drug-fuelled chem sex parties at his house,
in order to help inform Government policy.
What?!
What?! Oh, my days! A man of the
people.
What?! Oh, my days! A man of the people. That's crazy! I know, right?
I
people. That's crazy! I know, right? I was up until 3am last night
working
I was up until 3am last night working on policy. He might enjoy
prison.
working on policy. He might enjoy prison. Working on prison policy.
Crispin Blunt lost the Party Whip in 2023,
and the Party Handcuffs a year later.
And in one final animal story, a squirrel was caught on film
in London this week, handling a vape in Brixton.
Here
Here is
Here is the startling footage.
Somewhere in the Caribbean there's a shark on cocaine,
going, "Softcock."
And finally, Ipswich Town Football Club were forced to release
a statement this week after Reform leader Nigel Farage...
Boo!
APPLAUSE.
APPLAUSE. I couldn't help it. I
know,
APPLAUSE. I couldn't help it. I know, you hate Ipswich. Huge Norwich
fan.
Nigel Farage posted these promotional photos
of himself on a tour of the stadium with the caption,
"I've never been too bad on the right wing."
The club pointed out that it wasn't an official visit
and that they do not support any political viewpoint
Ipswich's rivals Norwich hit back with this cheeky post, saying,
"Book a stadium tour of Carrow Road."
Terms and conditions will most definitely apply.
Please
Please thank our guests Charlotte
Church
Please thank our guests Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdulrashid.
APPLAUSE.
Church and Nabil Abdulrashid. APPLAUSE. And my co-hosts Josh
Widdicombe
APPLAUSE. And my co-hosts Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker. We will
be
Widdicombe and Alex Brooker. We will be back next week, please join us.
But
be back next week, please join us. But right now, we are going to
celebrate
But right now, we are going to celebrate the England women's deaf
futsal
celebrate the England women's deaf futsal team who last week won the
European
futsal team who last week won the European Championships. APPLAUSE.
Hit the music!
Thanks for watching The Last Leg, my name's Adam Hills,
see you next week for the next leg.