This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
APPLAUSE
Make some room in the stable, kick the donkey off the couch
and get ready to watch Three Unwise Men.
It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We
We ask
We ask not what is up with the US
President? We get our heads around
Christmas
Christmas and we get across some
sporting
sporting heroes. We will be joined
by
by comedians Fatiha El-Ghorri and
Roisin
Roisin Conaty on the show that
sometimes
sometimes doubles down on the news.
APPLAUSE
G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
Hello.
Welcome to The Last Leg.
The
The show
The show currently rethinking some
of
of the
of the Christmas but it bought for
Christmas.
With me, as always, are the Pride of Dartmoor, Josh Widdicombe.
And the man who thought a doctors' strike was what happens when your GP
holds their Christmas party at a bowling alley, Alex Brooker.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
If
If you
If you missed the show last week, so
did
did I!
did I! I
did I! I was hosting Kazakhstan up
to
to Kat
to Kat cancer. There was a plan for
me
me --
me -- I
me -- I was hosting Stand Up To
Cancer
Cancer and there was a plan to make
it
it to
it to the
it to the end of the show.
it to the end of the show.That was
your
your show.
It became apparent that the only way I was going to make it to the studio
was on the back of a motorbike.
I
I can't
I can't tell you how many things
went
went wrong.
Roadworks.
Every red light.
This
This is
This is why I left Devon! For Devon.
I
I have
I have messed that up already!
20 cyclists in Hackney.
I
I employ
I employ 25, 25, said 20 have done
one!
one! --
one! -- I
one! -- I employed 25, so 20 done
one.
There were two guys carrying a sheet of glass across the road.
And a herd of sheep.
At one point, the rider said, "Hold on, I'm gonna try something."
The two places you never want to hear that are
on a bike and in bed.
Either way, my arsehole clenched.
And in both cases, what we did was borderline illegal,
and involved me wrapping my arms around someone I'd just met.
I'd like to apologise to any innocent bystanders.
I
I was
I was so
I was so close to making it.
I was so close to making it.I
thought
thought you were going to say, I was
so
so close
so close on the back of that bike!
Once
Once I
Once I got changed I tried to get to
the
the studio again!
We had our social media guy, Jordan, filming on a phone when I arrived,
in case we could use it for this week's show.
I'm going to show you his footage, alongside what was actually
happening on air at the same time, to show you just how close
I came to making it.
We
We have
We have just heard Adam is not going
to
to make
to make it back. But we have got one
more
more surprise. Ajay and John, take
the
the costume off to reveal the final
winner.
winner. Oh! Stand Up To Cancer. Our
names
names are
names are Josh Widdicombe. And Alex
Brooker.
Brooker. We will see you next week.
#
# I
# I can
# I can be your hero, baby.
#
# I
# I will
# I will stand by you forever.
#
# You
# You can
# You can take my hands away.
APPLAUSE
That...
That...Can I just say? You were
running
running like your arsehole had
clenched.
clenched. I was gutted. I thought my
pizza
pizza had
pizza had turned up. You have the
look
look of
look of somebody who knows he has
just
just missed out on his appearance
fee!
We are live on your telly, so send us any questions about the news.
You can message us on Instagram, using the hashtag #isitok.
Or via WhatsApp using the number 07956 175 908.
Or by scanning the QR code on the screen.
For example - is it OK that Alex got a DM from his hero this week?
Yes,
Yes, I
Yes, I did messages. Big news for me
this
this week. At BBC sports, Thierry
Henry
Henry got
Henry got a lifetime achievement
award
award and
award and I did a video. He played
soccer
soccer for Arsenal? Yes, he played
football.
football. He was very good at it,
mate.
mate. I
mate. I did this video. And on
Wednesday
Wednesday morning, he just started
following
following me on Instagram. I have
never,
never, look at this. Nine seconds
after
after he
after he followed me. I did a
screenshot.
Fastest my hand has ever moved.
When
When you
When you consider you ejaculated and
cleaned
cleaned up between. I was so excited
and
and he
and he was very lovely and he sent
me
me a
me a message to say, thank you for
the
the message. I was losing my shit.
And
And I
And I worried. What do I reply back?
I
I don't
I don't want to seem to Bestie? You
just
just recorded a video about how much
she
she loved
she loved him. -- I don't want to
seem
seem like
seem like I am thirsty. I sent him a
message
message back and I was like, he's
not
not going
not going to reply. And then Thierry
Henry
Henry responded whilst we were
having
having a
having a meeting.
having a meeting.Normally, if I
have
have my
have my phone out during the
meeting,
meeting, he gets the hump. How can
you
you tell?
you tell?The Australian eyes, mate!
We
We recorded the reaction to getting
the
the response from Thierry Henry.
the response from Thierry Henry.Oh,
my
my God,
my God, he's typing. I feel sick!
Hopefully, I can see you soon!
APPLAUSE
That
That is...
That is...That is my version of the
Kevin
Kevin McAllister, I can't reach, so
I
I do
I do a
I do a half version. I can't wait
until
until it
until it is revealed Thierry Henry
has
has had
has had his Instagram account
hacked!
hacked! Alex just got another
message
message saying, I've got some
problems
problems with my bank. Can you
transfer
transfer £10,000, please? How many
people
people follow you with a statue of
himself?
himself? Well, Nelson. Have you
replied
replied saying, hopefully, I can see
you
you soon?
you soon? There be the 14? Do you
have
have plans for Christmas? I wouldn't
put
put it
put it past you to write, my
country.
country. The worst responses, I am
outside
outside your house.
outside your house.I found a
motorbike
motorbike rider who gets you there
quite
quite quickly. I will say he does!
We
We loved
We loved that clip and his excited
face.
We've turned it into this week's hottest meme.
Hopefully, I can see you soon!
#
# Baby,
# Baby, turn the lights off!
The big story this week is that Donald Trump is suing
the BBC - for $10 billion.
You may remember that's because the BBC made an edit
on an episode of Panorama that is perfectly demonstrated
in this clear before-and-after clip.
We
We are
We are going to walk down to the
Capitol
Capitol and I will be there with you
and
and we
and we fight. We fight like hell!
And
And if
And if you don't fight like hell,
you
you are
you are not going to have a country
any
any more.
any more. We are going to walk down
to
to the
to the Capitol. And we are going to
cheer
cheer on
cheer on our brave Senators and
congressmen and women. And we fight.
We
We fight
We fight like hell. And if you don't
fight
fight like hell, you are not going
to
to have
to have a
to have a country any more.
Basically, a simple edit. Probably a
dumb
dumb thing to do.
Now, according to Donald Trump, the BBC actually went
about five steps further, as he revealed in
this accusing clip.
In
In a
In a little while, you will be
seeing
seeing I
seeing I am suing the BBC for
putting
putting words in my mouth literally,
they
they put
they put words in my mouth. They had
me
me saying
me saying things I never said. I
guess
guess they used AI or something. We
could
could have made you arrive on time
if
if we
if we had
if we had had AI! They did not
literally
literally put words in his mouth. I
would
would love to see them literally put
words
words in
words in his mouth. Scrabble letters
in
in his
in his mouth, stuffing a Turkey!
Yes, it was a bad edit, but as far as using AI - that's
an absolute pile of...
MUSIC: If You're Getting Down
What happened to my buttons?
What
What is
What is that? That is what my kids
will
will say
will say when they see a election
box
box next
box next week! We may have made some
changes
changes to the buttons. You are not
here.
here. What did you do? Used tunes
from
from the
from the 1990s?
from the 1990s?Well, yes. You got
me!
I'm nothing without my buttons.
In fact, I kinda feel like I'm...
MUSIC: Flying Without Wings
What I'm trying to say is, they were set a certain way,
I liked it the way they were set, and now that I'm back
behind the desk...
MUSIC: I Want It That Way
I
I am
I am actually starting to like them.
That
That is
That is staying the next series.
Anyway, back to Donald Trump.
What do we think of him suing the BBC for $10 billion?
I
I am
I am looking forward to Panorama and
him
him suing
him suing them over Panorama. I am
worried
worried about hiking up the licence
fee.
fee. When
fee. When we get the licence fee
through
through and it is $1 million each...
He
He is
He is not
He is not going to win and I think
the
the BBC
the BBC have a great defence. Their
big
big form
big form of evidence that they did
not
not make
not make him seem like a bad guy to
show
show anything that he has ever said
ever.
This is all part of Trump's pattern.
Sue a media company for a ridiculous amount of money.
Force them to either spend loads of money defending it or wait
until they offer up a settlement.
Take the settlement, and then know that they and every
other media company is now too scared to say anything
negative about you in case you sue them again.
This sets a dangerous precedent.
Because news outlets are supposed to keep governments to account,
and they can't do that if they're scared of being sued
by that government.
That's the journalistic equivalent of...
MUSIC: Flying Without Wings
The
The mad
The mad thing is, those buttons are
being
being used more this week...
Lads, how should the BBC deal with it?
Easy,
Easy, added together the Donald
Trump
Trump speeches so it says or looks
like
like he
like he is saying I am no longer
going
going to
going to sue the BBC. He is so
childish,
childish, they should lure him in,
you
you win,
you win, you get $10 billion but if
we
we win,
we win, we get destiny and the White
House.
House. Richard Osman's White House
of
of Games!
Trump's claiming that he's been defamed by the BBC,
but there are a few things that'll make it tough for him to win.
The court case is being tried in Florida, but the programme didn't
actually go to air in Florida.
Or anywhere in America.
Which means Trump has to prove that people watched
it illegally on a VPN, and that it caused damage
to his reputation.
Right now in Florida, there's a lot of guys trying
to convince their wives they've been using their VPN to watch Panorama.
Slamming
Slamming the laptop, it was The
Antiques
Antiques Roadshow! Nobody is
watching
watching it in Florida, it is called
the
the sunshine state, no one is
indoors
indoors watching Panorama, Will
Smith
Smith in
Smith in Miami, lying on the beach
until
until the
until the break of dawn... Or
watching
watching Panorama over the VPN? Do
you
you know
you know Will Smith? Don't pretend
you
you are
you are not loving those buttons!
You
You feel
You feel like a DJ!
The BBC has vowed to defend itself, which is funny when you consider
they couldn't even stop Channel 4 from taking Bake Off.
If the BBC win, what American assets should we take possession of?
Company
Company man! You just miss one
episode
episode and start praising the
bosses!
bosses! Maybe change might rush more
until
until Joe
until Joe Marler, Alan Carr and
Celia
Celia Imrie?
Celia Imrie?We should ask for the
Ghostbusters fire house and that
thing
thing from Ghostbusters two, the
Statue
Statue of
Statue of Liberty.
LAUGHTER
That
That prop
That prop they had in Ghostbusters
two!
two! That
two! That is the only thing it is
known
known for!
known for!That was an expensive
prop.
prop. It
prop. It was so heavy they had to
leave
leave it
leave it there.
If Trump wins, does he then take possession of the BBC?
Donald
Donald Trump in charge of an army of
Daleks.
Daleks.Gregg Wallace will be back
in
in the
in the BBC before you know it! Even
if
if he
if he wins, they can do with all
businesses do and they cannot pay
back,
back, they declare themselves
bankrupt
bankrupt and start again under a
different
different name... Call themselves
British
British broadcasting Limited... BBL.
That
That is
That is already taken? The Brazilian
bum
bum lift.
bum lift. And that could work for
the
the identical stop look at this...
--
-- the
-- the ident.... Amazing.
-- the ident.... Amazing.You did
look
look good
look good in that.
It is a massive week for the US President.
He refused to rule out a war with Venezuela,
was shocked when the board he chose to run the Kennedy Center changed
its name to the Trump-Kennedy Center.
Even
Even John
Even John if Kennedy so that one
coming.
He posted about the death
of director Rob Reiner in a way that ironically turned
the distastefulness up to 11.
Meanwhile, the Epstein Files are due to be released overnight,
around the same time that YouTuber Jake Paul goes
head-to-head with professional boxer Anthony Joshua.
So it's a good night if you want to see rich,
entitled men suddenly having their careers ended.
I
I want
I want to
I want to thank you for not making a
joke
joke about the England cricket team.
How
How would
How would that have fitted in?
How would that have fitted in?Rich
and
and entitled men who are about to
have
have their careers ended tonight.
How
How is
How is it
How is it going?! Is about as well
as
as the
as the show went last week without
you!
Now I'm not saying Donald Trump is trying to distract
from the Epstein Files, but this week he made some changes
to the Presidential Walk of Fame in the White House.
It
It now
It now looks like this.
It now looks like this.You know
when
when a
when a restaurant has photographs of
the
the famous people? Further down
there
there is
there is a photograph of Darren Day
with
with his
with his arm around the chef saying,
best
best to
best to in Soho!
You may remember a few months ago Trump replaced the photo
of Joe Biden with this picture of an autopen.
But this week he added plaques under each president's photo,
with his own opinion of their presidency.
This
This is
This is the West Wing.
For example, Obama is described as...
The plaque under Biden's photo says...
"Sleepy Joe Biden was, by far, the worst president
in American history.
Taking office as a result of the most corrupt election ever
seen in the United States, Biden oversaw a series
of unprecedented disasters that brought our nation
to the brink of destruction."
Trump's Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said the descriptions
were written directly by the president, to
which the rest of the world said, "No shit, Kazza."
I
I love
I love the fact that under his own,
it
it is
it is so
it is so long what he describes
himself
himself as, like one of his tweets
and
and it
and it says one of two.
Apparently when Trump was challenged over the wording
on the plaques, he said...
SFX: "I Want It That Way."
You
You are
You are getting into those!
Andy said...
Is it OK that the Trump administration says sign language
services 'intrude' on Trump's ability to control his image,
and that raising this will get me banned from the USA?
Disability groups were also up in arms this week - I'm sorry,
I'll rephrase that.
Disability groups were hopping mad...
No, hang on...
Ramping up their complaints...
No...
Were furious this week as the White House said
they would not be providing sign interpreters at Trump's press
conferences because it would "severely intrude
on the president's prerogative to control the image
he presents to the public." .
I
I know
I know this... It is very hard to
interpret
interpret Donald Trump and I low a
lot
lot of
lot of sun interpreters have trouble
because
because he goes off on so many
different
different tangents. He never
finishes
finishes any thought sue the
interpreter thanks, I do not know
what
what sentence to sign.
what sentence to sign.And that
funny
funny little dance, that could be
interpreted as something else... I
am
am wanking off...
am wanking off...That is the emoji
that
that you
that you sent Thierry Henry.
Why is it so hard to interpret for Trump?
Because he implies a lot, and because he never sticks
to one coherent thought.
This
This week
This week he gave an address from
the
the White
the White House that looked like he
had
had forgotten to turn on his hearing
aid.
aid. This
aid. This is the annoying clip...
He puts the tan in tangent.
In
In the
In the end government either serves
the
the productive, patriotic,
hard-working American citizen or it
serves
serves those who break the laws,
cheat
cheat the
cheat the system and seek power and
profit
profit at
profit at the expense of our nation.
What
What in
What in the living fuck are you
talking
talking about? You apricots are sold
micro.
micro. Stop shouting, your own
microphone. Not talking to thousands
in
in a
in a stadium. Only two or three
people
people at
people at home, you do not need to
shout.
shout. There is a reason I don't
start
start this by going... I'M ADAM
HILLS!
HILLS! Although that did feel good.
That
That is
That is how we started last week. I
noticed!
To give you an idea of how hard it is to interpret for Donald Trump,
we're going to show you a snippet of his self-congratulatory
speech on Wednesday, and we're going to have it
interpreted for you.
We're also going to show you what the interpreter is actually
saying, to see whether or not it interferes with his image.
In
In the
In the end, government either serves
the
the productive, patriotic,
hard-working American citizen or it
serves
serves those who cheat the system
and
and seek
and seek power and profit at the
expense
expense of our nation. Look at
Minnesota, where some alliums have
taken
taken over the economics of the
state
state and
state and have stolen billions and
billions
billions of dollars from Minnesota
and
and indeed from the United States of
America.
America. We will put an end to that,
for
for so
for so long as before my election,
the
the vast
the vast majority of good and decent
Americans
Americans were forced...
APPLAUSE.
And
And Gavin
And Gavin Lilley, thank you very
much.
much. Round of applause!
APPLAUSE.
Alright, let's welcome tonight's guests.
A comedian who co-hosts Last One Laughing,
and another comedian who was the Last One
Standing on The Wheel.
Please welcome Roisin Conaty and Fatiha El-Ghorri.
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello!
Hello! Welcome. Either of you ever
used
used any
used any sign interpreter?
used any sign interpreter?I have
been
been at
been at a
been at a show whether it is one and
I
I kept
I kept going BRRRR! And they had to
just
just go... My name is BRRRR! What do
you
you make
you make of Trump suing the BBC?
Well,
Well, they fucked up. But he is a
wanker.
wanker. I
wanker. I know how to make the money
back.
back. If
back. If they just commissioned my
sitcom...
sitcom... They would make the money.
Love
Love it!
Love it! Roisin Conaty?
Love it! Roisin Conaty?I think that
Trump
Trump respects hard men, so this
should,
should, they should just tell him to
fuck
fuck off!
fuck off! Just go absolutely mad on
him
him and
him and tell him to fuck off. And
then
then he
then he would say, I love the BBC!
They
They should just tell him to do one.
Which
Which BBC
Which BBC stars should do that?
Which BBC stars should do that?Ross
Kemp?
Kemp? Is
Kemp? Is he on the BBC any more? I
don't
don't know!
don't know!Bridge of Lies! One of
those
those from. Come dancing. Craig
Revel
Revel Horwood!
Earlier this week, I was honoured to read a poem at a carols concert
for Motor Neurone Disease.
They sent me a lovely piece about the difference
between Christmas in England and Christmas in Australia,
And
And it
And it was about Christmas on the
beach
beach and
beach and all that a sort of stuff.
But in light of what happened at Bondi Beach last weekend,
the references felt a little off.
So I rewrote the poem as a tribute to what happened
in my hometown of Sydney, and if it's OK with you,
I'd like to read it tonight.
This
This is
This is my little Christmas tribute
poem...
Christmas in Britain is charming and cold.
With jumpers and jingles and carols of old.
But I'm Aussie by nature, so let's just be clear.
Barbecues count, so does icy cold beer.
I've done Christmas Down Under, with suncream and sand.
And Christmas in Britain, with frostbite on hand.
One has cicadas, the other has sleet.
But both have bad telly and too much to eat.
Sydney is Sunny, London is wetter.
And the less said about the Ashes the better.
But Brits and the Aussies will always be mates.
As we both thank the Lord we don't live in the States.
But evil rears up every now and again.
As some don't believe in good will to all men.
And use a nice holiday fest by the beach.
To make a world full of joy seem way out of reach.
"But look for the helpers" a wise man once said.
The people who think with their hearts and their head.
The people who do what they know to be right.
Look for the love.
Look for the light.
Cos all round the world people showed their support.
From New York, to Paris, right down to Earls Court.
Whatever religion, we all made a fuss.
Saying "There were just two of them, there are millions of us."
Whether Muslim, or Christian, Hindu or Jew.
Deep down we all know what's the right thing to do.
So no matter what happens this time of the year.
Bring your loved ones around and gather them near.
If you're a Brit or an Aussie, or half in between.
May your paddock be golden, your tree evergreen.
May your Christmassy lunch have no family clashes.
But I'll say it again, don't mention the Ashes.
Whether Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas or none.
Happy Holidays all, and I hope you have fun.
And remember the words of good old Saint Nick.
"Merry Christmas to all - and don't be a dick."
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break as we take
a wobbly step into Christmas.
See you soon.
APPLAUSE.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Fatiha El-Ghorri and Roisin Conaty.
The
The person to tell Donald Trump from
the
the BBC
the BBC to fuck off should be David
Attenborough!I love we have
accidentally created a great text.
You
You should tell Donald Trump to fuck
off?
off? Yes,
off? Yes, hit us up on WhatsApp.
off? Yes, hit us up on WhatsApp.Why
limit
limit it
limit it to one? The BBC has a huge
employee
employee base. The entire country
should
should get involved! All at once at
midnight
midnight on New Year's Eve?
Everybody
Everybody tells Donald Trump to fuck
off.
off. Two,
off. Two, coal -- two, one, and two!
Fuck
Fuck off.
It's only six more sleeps until Christmas, five more sleeps
until our Christmas Eve Special.
And three more sleeps until Thierry Henry
unfollows Alex on Instagram.
Why?
Why? He
Why? He will watch something Alex
posts
posts and
posts and think, I can't be
associated with that!
associated with that!We did do very
well
well last
well last week, I made a joke we
didn't.
didn't. You tell me I should be very
proud
proud of
proud of myself!
So let's get into the festive spirit.
Any
Any Christmas traditions?
Any Christmas traditions?I don't
celebrate, obviously! Everybody is
off
off so
off so we
off so we go round to my mums and we
make
make a
make a dinner. Have fun. We don't
presents
presents or trees or none of that.
We
We do
We do do
We do do the food. Spending time
with
with family. The worst bit?! There
are
are people behind me applauding what
you
you just
you just said! Just so you know, you
may
may be
may be on
may be on camera!
may be on camera!Roisin? I have
traditions, Adam, I have traditions,
all
all right! I come from a very big
family
family and I have lots of friends
stopped
stopped I
stopped I am very popular! Lots of
them
them show
them show up unannounced. By that, I
mean
mean I
mean I forget they are showing up.
My
My Christmas tradition is people
showing
showing up and be pretending I need
the
the toilet I need to make something.
And
And I
And I go
And I go rummaging and I am wrapping
in
in another room and gifting
something
something I have already got and
trying
trying to
trying to find something really
quick
quick in
quick in a short space of time.
Somebody
Somebody once brought me a rubbish
£10
£10 body
£10 body cream. The only thing I had
was
was a
was a record player because I had
given
given away everything in previous
gifts
gifts so
gifts so I gave them a record
player.
player. I
player. I then had to buy it again
because
because the friend who bought me the
wrapping
wrapping player was coming round --
the
the record player was coming around
in
in a
in a few
in a few days. Happy Christmas! I
watched
watched home alone for the first
time
time last
time last week, which made Alex very
happy.
happy. That has shocked you all.
Ironically, I was home alone. I now
understand this that happened on the
show
show and
show and this. Still don't entirely
understand this.
understand this.Genuinely, I
couldn't
couldn't believe you had not seen
it.
it. I
it. I think it is lovely you have
watched
watched it now. When I watched it
for
for the
for the first time, I was the same
age
age as
age as Kevin McAllister. Now you
have
have watched it for the first time
and
and you
and you are the same age as the old
geyser
geyser with a shovel! Part of the
reason
reason I
reason I didn't see it when it was
released,
released, I was 20 at the time and
it
it is
it is weird for a 20-year-old to
watch
watch a
watch a kids movie on his own. But
you
you had
you had an issue.
you had an issue.Yes, when I saw L
for
for the
for the first time, I was 19 and I
went
went three times and I'm not weird
--
-- Elf.
-- Elf. This is one of the few
things
things I
things I have ever talked about on
the
the show
the show that has been sent to me on
a
a WhatsApp group with my mates. It
is
is a
is a TV
is a TV choice. This is a review of
the
the Christmas films. Babe. Quick
question.
question. Your mate reads TV Choice.
Is
Is it
Is it an
Is it an eight-year-old granny?
Babe,
Babe, five stars. Home Alone, four
stars.
stars. Unless that reviewer is David
Cameron,
Cameron, that is bullshit! Babe is a
5-star
5-star film and it is better than
Home
Home Alone. I don't think that, I
just
just wanted to see what he would do.
5-star
5-star Babe does sound like a film I
watched!
watched!There we go!
APPLAUSE
In other Christmas news, a poll revealed this week that
nearly a third of the British public think Santa would vote for
Zack Polanski and the Green Party, which is surprising considering how
much coal he goes through.
Yes,
Yes, he's
Yes, he's down chimneys.
Yes, he's down chimneys.I don't
think,
think, this is madness. He is based
in
in the
in the North Pole. If he is not
going
going to
going to pay taxes in this country,
it
it doesn't have a fucking chance. I
think
think so,
think so, he has a zero carbon
footprint. However, the RSPCA will
not
not like
not like him because he works those
animals
animals to the bone. 24 hours. He
goes
goes round-the-world, are you mad,
brother?
brother? No. Roisin.
brother? No. Roisin.I think people
project.
project. When we like people, we
project
project unto them the values we
have.
have. What we have all learnt about
old
old celebrities and he is an old guy
and
and he
and he has been around for hundreds
of
of years,
of years, I reckon if he had a
Wikipedia
Wikipedia page, it is not going to
be
be great!
be great! I don't think you can
project
project very progressive views on
that
that old
that old creeping in the House at
night
night in
night in the kids room guy. Not very
domestic!
domestic! It makes sense centre
would
would vote for the Green Party.
-- it makes sense that Santa would vote Green, cos if anyone's
worried about the ice caps melting, it's him.
And, much like Zack Polanski, a lot of grown-ups don't believe in him.
And
And there
And there has been an unwanted guest
this
this year
this year at the Ally Pally.
this year at the Ally Pally.A week
of
of high
of high drama already at the darts.
I
I don't
I don't know if you have heard about
the
the wasp.
the wasp. It has been knocking about
in
in Alexandra Palace during the darts
four
four days
four days breathing in the beer
fumes,
fumes, off its head. Genuinely one
of
of the
of the players brought in wasp
killer
killer just in case. It was from all
the
the darts
the darts players? Yes, we couldn't
afford
afford the footage from Sky Sports
because
because that cost loads. We wanted
to
to show
to show you so we have mocked up our
own
own version of the wasp in action.
Here
Here it
Here it is in happier times.
Here it is in happier times.Wasp,
wasp,
wasp, wasp! Chill out! Do you know
what
what I
what I mean? Jesus Christ, I am
going
going to
going to Sting someone in a minute!
That
That was
That was not on!
APPLAUSE
Do
Do you
Do you know what?
Do you know what?That looks so much
better
better than I thought it would look.
We'll have more Last Leg for you after the break,
as we hand out our Alternative Sports Personality of
the Year Awards and unveil another mystery guest.
See you soon.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Fatiha El-Ghorri and Roisin Conaty.
Last night, the BBC crowned Rory McIlroy
as their Sports Personality of the Year of 2025.
Congratulations.
Personally, I thought Rory McIlroy deserved it
for this candid moment at the Ryder Cup this year.
Shut the fuck up!
It's all well and good to celebrate sporting excellence,
but what about the forgotten heroes?
Like the guy who took this incredibly-timed photo of Italian
tennis player Jasmine Paolini at the US Open that was judged
Tennis Photo of the Year.
LAUGHTER
It
It looks
It looks like she is from Kneecap!
Let's highlight some more heroes now, with this.
I'm gonna nominate these guys.
Two Aussie twins, who lip-sync to iconic pieces
of sporting commentary.
This was their hilarious take on the moment Scotland
qualified for the World Cup.
He
He is
He is going to shoot! It has gone
in!
in! Unbelievable! I've never seen
anything
anything quite this incredible! With
practically the last kick of the
ball.
ball. To
ball. To absolutely rubber-stamp
Scotland's place at the World Cup!
APPLAUSE.
We
We have
We have too much time on our hands
in
in Australia!
in Australia!Let me highlight us
but
but we
but we do
but we do not talk about enough. In
July,
July, 33
July, 33 teams from countries
including
including the UK, Japan, Australia
and
and France competed in the litter
picking
picking World Cup. Japan won, you
could
could say
could say that they cleaned up!
LAUGHTER
#
# Flying
# Flying without wings...
# Flying without wings...Let's have
a
a look
a look at
a look at it. Here we go. Look at
this,
this, this is sport now. That is the
British
British team. The Japanese team. If
we
we cannot
we cannot clear the darts bee, this
is
is what
is what Channel 4 need to be
showing!
showing! Who would you nominate?
showing! Who would you nominate?Mo
Salah,
Salah, not for the reason you think
but
but every
but every Christmas he has a massive
Christmas
Christmas tree and his family were
Christmas
Christmas pyjamas and they take a
picture
picture with gifts and he just gets
shot
shot to
shot to shit by the Muslim
community, what are you doing? And
he
he is
he is like, whatever, shut up. He is
a
a legend.
a legend. I have gotten one, I don't
know
know if
know if it is allowed but after
litter
litter picking, it is going on. I
think...
think... Oasis. Getting back
together
together felt a bit like, the tour
was
was a
was a little bit like watching Rocky
getting
getting off the mat and at the end
they
they won.
they won. Sporting achievement,
lovely.
lovely. There was that feeling of
when
when England are in the World Cup,
that
that feeling at oasis but then it
ended
ended happily. This is bittersweet
because
because mine was going to be the
wasp
wasp at
wasp at Ally Pally but we find out
that
that he
that he might have been killed by
one
one of
one of the darts players. If it is
possible,
possible, can I just have a little
moment
moment of
moment of reflection for the Ally
Pally
Pally wasp? Thank you very much.
#
# Goodbye
# Goodbye my friend...
#
# It's
# It's not the end...
APPLAUSE.
All right, it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest.
Rosin and Fatiha have to work out how they're related to the news
Can we have this week's mystery guest, please?
#
# Mysterious girl...
#
# I
# I want
# I want to get close to you...
This is Angie, and she has been in the news this week,
but for what reason?
Can
Can we
Can we have the dramatic lighting?
So...
A) She has a reindeer that thinks it's a dog?
B) She has bought a pig in blanket that looks
exactly like Lana Del Ray?
C) She's got a turkey from the butcher and it
was delivered alive?
Oh
Oh God!
Oh God! Any thoughts?
Oh God! Any thoughts?Angie! I think
the
the answer is, intrusive...
LAUGHTER
Have
Have a
Have a think about that. And saying
Angie
Angie to
Angie to yourself for a little
while.
We'll reveal the mystery guest after the break,
and end the show with a very special Christmas performance.
See you soon.
APPLAUSE.
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The Last Leg.
We're joined by Fatiha El-Ghorri and Roisin Conaty.
Before the break, we challenged our guests to work out how this person
was connected to the news.
Can we have the options again, please?
So...
A) She has a reindeer that thinks it's a dog?
B) She has bought a pig in blanket that looks
exactly like Lana Del Ray?
C) She's got a turkey from the butcher and it
was delivered alive?
What
What do
What do you think?
What do you think?I think... I
think
think I
think I know this. I am going to let
Roisin
Roisin sweat it. I just have the
song.
song. I
song. I think... You have got a
sausage
sausage that looks like Lana Del
Rey.
Rey. It's
Rey. It's not what you were
thinking?
thinking?No. I am excited because
if
if it
if it is,
if it is, when we say bring out the
pagan
pagan blanket that looks like Lana
Del
Del Rey,
Del Rey, that is when we get our
laughter.
laughter. I think it is the dear. I
watch
watch TV
watch TV or not. I think it is the
deer.
deer. She
deer. She looks like she don't take
shit.
shit. So,
shit. So, deer? And Roisin, sausage?
I
I always
I always want to go for sausage! It
is
is Christmas! Angie... Please tell
us...
us...I
us...I have got a beautiful Baby
Reindeer.
APPLAUSE.
The
The question is, why does your
reindeer
reindeer think that it is a dog?
Whenever
Whenever he was three days old, he
needed
needed help being fed so he came
into
into the
into the house and he has lived with
the
the dogs
the dogs and myself ever since. And
as
as you
as you can see, there are pictures
of
of him.
of him. Which one is the Ranger? Do
people
people go
people go to your house and they are
singing
singing Angie, is it a dog or is it
a
a deer?
a deer?Will it get antlers soon? It
has
has little antlers and they will
fall
fall off
fall off in the next few months and
then
then they
then they will grow a new set. A
little
little bit like me. Thank you so
much
much and
much and have a happy Christmas. And
all
all the
all the best with your deer!
APPLAUSE.
Why
Why are
Why are we...?
Why are we...?I don't know why you
were
were not
were not given any way. They were
just
just jealous of me. Let's have some
headgear.
headgear. You look shit!
Josh has been defaming the last seven days.
Josh, what have you got for us?
Simon
Simon Adam... He said... Stratford
to
to White
to White City is 35 minutes on the
Central
Central line. And somebody would
have
have given up their seat for you!
Another
Another is a behind the scenes,
there
there was
there was a bit that was meant to be
in
in the
in the show will be dressed up as a
pantomime
pantomime horse. We did that in
rehearsal
rehearsal and it was not good
enough.
enough. And it was deemed so bad it
could
could not
could not go on television. Bearing
in
in mind
in mind what does make it in! They
are
are telling us we should show the
audience
audience what the rehearsal was.
Would
Would you
Would you like to see us trying to
do
do pantomime horse dressage? Is that
as
as good
as good as the wasp? We are in the
zone.
zone. I
zone. I like it. What is going on?!
LAUGHTER
Will
Will be
Will be go around here?
Will be go around here?Yes. Good
Lord!
Lord! It
Lord! It looks like a version of
human
human centipede by Pixar.
APPLAUSE.
We are about to end the show with a very special performance
from The Music Man Project - a group made of people with learning
disabilities, who have performed at the London Palladium
the Royal Albert Hall, and for His Majesty The King.
They also gave a spectacular concert in Rome last week.
David
David is
David is a leader. What is next?
David is a leader. What is next?I
have
have a
have a world exclusive for everyone
here
here because one October the 7th,
next
next year, the Music Man Project
will
will play
will play Broadway in New York!
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We're so happy to have you close the show tonight, but before we do,
would you please thank our guests:
Fatiha El-Ghorri
and Roisin Conaty.
And my co-hosts:
Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker.
We'll be back on Christmas Eve with comedian Harry Hill
and presenter Alison Hammond, and we'll have a Christmas
singalong with Rick Astley.
But right now, this is the Music Man Project,
performing Jingle Bells.
Thanks for watching The Last Leg.
My name's Adam Hills.
See you next week for The Last Leg of Christmas.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Dashing through the snow
# In a one-horse open sleigh
# Over the hills we go
# Laughing all the way
# Bells on bobtails ring
# Making spirits bright
# What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight
# Jingle bells, jingle bells
# Jingle all the way
# Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh
# Jingle bells, jingle bells
# Jingle all the way
# Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh
# Dashing through the snow
# In a one-horse open sliegh
# Over the hills we go
# Laughing all the way
# Bells on bobtails ring
# Making spirits bright
# What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight
# Jingle Bells, jingle bells
# Jingle all the way
# Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh
# Jingle bells, jingle bells
# Jingle all the way
# Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh
# Jingle Bells, jingle bells
# Jingle all the way
# Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh
# Jingle bells, jingle bells
# Jingle all the way
# Oh, what fun it is to ride
# In a one-horse open sleigh #.
CHEERING
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE