This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
# What goes on
# Thank you for letting us be ourselves
# So don't mind me if I repeat myself
These simple lines be good for your health
# To keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
# Live, love life like you just don't care
# 5,000 leaders never scared
# Bring the noise, it's the moment they fear
# Get up, still a beautiful idea
# Get up, throw your hands in the air
# Get up and show no fear... #
APPLAUSE.
APPLAUSE. Cut out the dead like the
kitsch
APPLAUSE. Cut out the dead like the kitsch has left the room, never
mention
kitsch has left the room, never mention rugby league again.
All right, I'm Alex Brooker, welcome to The Last Leg
of Stand Up To Cancer, the show that even more than usual
feels like it's got a bit missing.
We
We are
We are joined by Jon Richardson, AJ
Odudu
We are joined by Jon Richardson, AJ Odudu and Matt Forde, on the show
that
Odudu and Matt Forde, on the show that always gives you a helping
hand.
All right, I'm Alex Brooker, welcome to The Last Leg
of Stand Up To Cancer, the show that even more than usual
feels like it's got a bit missing.
With me as always is the pride of Dartmoor
Josh Widdicombe.
And the man who thought this day
would never come, Alex Brooker.
APPLAUSE.
- APPLAUSE. - Look how smart we look!
- We
looked
- APPLAUSE. - Look how smart we look! - We looked like kids dressed for a
wedding.
- looked like kids dressed for a wedding. - Alex looks like he's back
- wedding. - Alex looks like he's back from his second trip to the White
House.
- from his second trip to the White House. - I'm going to get a good deal.
So for those of you who've only just tuned in, Adam's been doing
the live Stand Up 2 Cancer.
So I can't believe I'm saying this - me and Josh are in charge.
CHEERING.
I'm so glad I found this magic lamp this week.
Can't believe I didn't even think to ask for a new foot, though.
To
To be
To be clear, if you wonder why I'm
moving
To be clear, if you wonder why I'm moving around, this morning the
production
moving around, this morning the production relate they'd forgotten
to
production relate they'd forgotten to get a second chair and I am on an
exercise
to get a second chair and I am on an exercise board. So I am sorting out
my
exercise board. So I am sorting out my abs while we do the show.
- exercise board. So I am sorting out my abs while we do the show. - There
- my abs while we do the show. - There is not a lot of legroom.
- But
- my abs while we do the show. - There is not a lot of legroom. - But there
- is not a lot of legroom. - But there are items. There is a book,
shoehorning
are items. There is a book, shoehorning rugby league into any
conversation
shoehorning rugby league into any conversation with a message for
himself
conversation with a message for himself which just says, you are
enough.
- himself which just says, you are enough. - He really loved that Barbie
- enough. - He really loved that Barbie film.
- This
- enough. - He really loved that Barbie film. - This is the rudest, it's just
- film. - This is the rudest, it's just Josh and Alex with errors. The cheek
of
Josh and Alex with errors. The cheek of it! Teacher is a way, let's do
this!
- of it! Teacher is a way, let's do this! - Wow!
As Adam's not here, we had to work out who was gonna host this
part, so we did paper, scissors, stone backstage.
All mine look the same, which meant I won, so off you crack
on over to the sofa, Joshy.
I'll take the reins for part one.
CHEERING.
- CHEERING. - Pressure is on.
You know what, I've had a long time to think about
how I'd host this show and there's one change I've made.
I've got myself an Aperol Spritz button.
Lets
Lets have
Lets have a go now.
MARIE
MARIE ACTUALLY MUSIC.
Oh,
Oh, that
Oh, that actually is apple spritz!
I've
Oh, that actually is apple spritz! I've got for much of them. This is
going
I've got for much of them. This is going to be brilliant.
Now I'm suitably refreshed.
We are live on your television right now, which means you can send us any
questions you'd like to ask us about the news.
And given that it's nearly midnight, I can imagine those questions
are gonna be pretty wild.
Anyway, you can message us on Instagram
with the hashtag #isitok.
The answer is, it's not.
Or via WhatsApp using the number 07956 175 908.
Or by scanning the QR code on the screen
For example, is it OK to lose your head on live TV?
No, it isn't - although give me long enough doing this tonight...
Is it OK to lose your head on live TV if it's hilarious?
Yes, it is, if you're our good mate James Acaster,
as proven by this incredible footage from last weekend's
Saturday Kitchen.
I
I can
I can tell you that 54% of people
did
I can tell you that 54% of people did you see the autocue? Tapas!
SCREAMING.
APPLAUSE.
Seeing him punch that polar bear, I now know why he didn't get
the Blue Planet job.
Adam's currently making his way across town to the studio
and will no doubt be using his Freedom Pass to get here.
Hillsy, where are you?
Lads, I'm currently boarding a bus with a tit,
a shit, and a giant vulva.
And I'll be honest, it's not the first time in my life
I've said that sentence.
You guys are looking after the show properly, yeah?
We
We are
We are OK. Josh might have snatched
a
We are OK. Josh might have snatched a draw.
- We are OK. Josh might have snatched a draw. - We are doing OK. We can't
- a draw. - We are doing OK. We can't wait for you to get back.
Are you speaking truth to power?
Alex
Alex has
Alex has got an apple spritz.
Guys, I'll be there as soon as I can, but I've gotta go.
It
It looks
It looks like I'm hosting worlds
weirdest
It looks like I'm hosting worlds weirdest hen party.
Do
Do you
Do you think he is going to make it
back?
- Do you think he is going to make it back? - No.
Bring
Bring back the Mariachi.
Celebration.
I'm
I'm just
I'm just going to move my drink out
of
I'm just going to move my drink out of shot.
Just to remind you we are still in fundraising mode, so you can
still donate to Stand Up to Cancer.
Almost one in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime.
Help us fight back.
To give £40, £30, £20 or £10 to support
Stand Up To Cancer, text 40, 30, 20 or 10 to 70404, or to donate any
amount online, go to channel4.com/su2c.
100% of the money you give will fund life-saving Cancer research
Josh looks lonely over there, so it's time to bring
out my replacement.
I
I am,
I am, there is normally somebody sat
next
I am, there is normally somebody sat next to me.
He's my favourite diminutive comedian,
a man who makes Josh look edgy,
it's Jon Richardson!
What?
- What? - CHEERING
APPLAUSE
- APPLAUSE - Hello.
- Welcome
- APPLAUSE - Hello. - Welcome to the show.
- When
- APPLAUSE - Hello. - Welcome to the show. - When is
your
- Hello. - Welcome to the show. - When is your dad back?
- How
- Hello. - Welcome to the show. - When is your dad back? - How does it feel
- your dad back? - How does it feel being in my seat? Can you feel the
banter?
- being in my seat? Can you feel the banter? - No, because you have taken
- banter? - No, because you have taken your notes.
- Sorry,
- banter? - No, because you have taken your notes. - Sorry, I have got them
- your notes. - Sorry, I have got them over here. Can you see? I have put a
proper
over here. Can you see? I have put a proper barn groove in there from 13
years.
- proper barn groove in there from 13 years. - I wondered why you used to
- years. - I wondered why you used to rub yourself forward and back. I
thought
rub yourself forward and back. I thought you had worms!
- rub yourself forward and back. I thought you had worms! - I think there
- thought you had worms! - I think there was a couple of series when I did.
We will get to the real big news of the week in a bit, but first,
the big news between us was Josh's reaction to my Spotify Wrapped.
Here's just how impressed he was.
Do
Do you
Do you want my top five songs?
- Do you want my top five songs? - Hitmy.
- Number
- Do you want my top five songs? - Hitmy. - Number five I Want It That
Way.
- Hitmy. - Number five I Want It That Way. Absolute banger. Number four,
If
Way. Absolute banger. Number four, If You're Getting Down By 5ive.
Number
If You're Getting Down By 5ive. Number three, Keep On Moving by
5ive.
Number three, Keep On Moving by 5ive. I've just realised as I am
saying
5ive. I've just realised as I am saying this, this is no lie, by the
way.
saying this, this is no lie, by the way. Number two, Flying Without
Wings!
way. Number two, Flying Without Wings! Are you ready for number one?
- Wings! Are you ready for number one? - No.
- My
- Wings! Are you ready for number one? - No. - My most listened to some of
2025,
- No. - My most listened to some of 2025, Can You Feel The Love Tonight?
- 2025, Can You Feel The Love Tonight? - Oh, my God!
APPLAUSE
Five absolute bangers, mainly involving 5ive.
Josh, what's your beef?
It
It is
It is the
It is the line up to the 2003 smash
hits
It is the line up to the 2003 smash hits poll winners party. You have
chosen
hits poll winners party. You have chosen Flying Without Wings because
you
chosen Flying Without Wings because you think it is a disability?
- chosen Flying Without Wings because you think it is a disability? - What
- you think it is a disability? - What did you make of it?
- I'm
- you think it is a disability? - What did you make of it? - I'm not saying
- did you make of it? - I'm not saying this for the show, I think you need
help.
- this for the show, I think you need help. - LAUGHTER
- help. - LAUGHTER - I think it's pathetic that what you
think it is pathetic? I think it is
pathetic,
think it is pathetic? I think it is pathetic, as do I think that you had
your
pathetic, as do I think that you had your chance to do anything at the
start
your chance to do anything at the start of the show and the naughtiest
thing
start of the show and the naughtiest thing you could think of was putting
on
thing you could think of was putting on a feather boa and letting of a
party
on a feather boa and letting of a party popper.
- on a feather boa and letting of a party popper. - Both of those have
- party popper. - Both of those have stopped me getting my Pip. APPLAUSE
But
stopped me getting my Pip. APPLAUSE But it wasn't just you both who
thought
But it wasn't just you both who thought it was pathetic.
Someone commented...
"He seems OK that he will never be cool".
Can
Can I
Can I also say on that, Can You Feel
The
Can I also say on that, Can You Feel The Love Tonight, we are all
thinking
The Love Tonight, we are all thinking it, we know why you are
putting
thinking it, we know why you are putting that on. Come on, that is
your
putting that on. Come on, that is your shagging song, isn't it?
- putting that on. Come on, that is your shagging song, isn't it? - No, it
- your shagging song, isn't it? - No, it goes on for ages!
- I'm
- your shagging song, isn't it? - No, it goes on for ages! - I'm a 21 Seconds
- goes on for ages! - I'm a 21 Seconds man! APPLAUSE
My other favourite comment was someone saying that I must
have a sign in my kitchen saying "Live Laugh Love".
I
I don't
I don't doubt it.
I actually don't have one, but do have one saying "be
careful of sharp knives".
Should've got it sooner, in hindsight.
But going to this Spotify Wrapped, you're mugging me off, Josh,
I've
I've never done that stop what
you've
I've never done that stop what you've not been happy with it. But
you
you've not been happy with it. But you mentioned this last week.
Four of your top five songs were Sabrina Carpenter,
you little pervert.
She's
She's the
She's the greatest songwriter of her
generation.
She's the greatest songwriter of her generation. Incredible.
- She's the greatest songwriter of her generation. Incredible. - And you've
- generation. Incredible. - And you've never watched any of the videos?
- You
- never watched any of the videos? - You don't get any videos on Spotify, not
that
don't get any videos on Spotify, not that I do know because I haven't
looked!
- that I do know because I haven't looked! - What kind of music tastes
- looked! - What kind of music tastes have you got?
- Terrible,
- looked! - What kind of music tastes have you got? - Terrible, but I would
- have you got? - Terrible, but I would say in favour of your Spotify,
because
say in favour of your Spotify, because nobody is getting paid, the
artist
because nobody is getting paid, the artist don't get any money, at least
you
artist don't get any money, at least you have picked people who aren't
together
you have picked people who aren't together any more so they are not
going
together any more so they are not going to miss the money because they
were
going to miss the money because they were tied 20 years ago.
- going to miss the money because they were tied 20 years ago. - Westlife are
- were tied 20 years ago. - Westlife are performing next year. I'm going to
see
performing next year. I'm going to see them.
- performing next year. I'm going to see them. - Are they? How would I
- see them. - Are they? How would I know?
- What
- see them. - Are they? How would I know? - What kind of thing you do,
- know? - What kind of thing you do, though?
- Well,
- know? - What kind of thing you do, though? - Well, it is my daughter that
- though? - Well, it is my daughter that uses my Spotify so that is my excuse
and
uses my Spotify so that is my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
- uses my Spotify so that is my excuse and I'm sticking to it. - Can I revert
- and I'm sticking to it. - Can I revert to that excuse for mine as well?
- to that excuse for mine as well? - Yeah. But I stand by my music
selection so much I've decided to
change
selection so much I've decided to change Adam's buttons as a little
treat
change Adam's buttons as a little treat when he gets back. Let's have
a
treat when he gets back. Let's have a go. This is the first one.
I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys.
Honestly,
Honestly, he's going to love it when
he
Honestly, he's going to love it when he tries to make a political
comment,
he tries to make a political comment, punctuated by this.
If You're Getting Down by 5ive.
And
And ready
And ready for the next
Paralympics...
Flying Without Wings by Westlife.
Beautiful.
- Beautiful. - And what is the fourth
button?
- A
- Beautiful. - And what is the fourth button? - A turd the size of
- button? - A turd the size of Disneyland Paris.
- We
- button? - A turd the size of Disneyland Paris. - We ran out of
- Disneyland Paris. - We ran out of money to clear any more clips.
Onto the big news now and Michael asked...
"#Isitok that I am proud of Australia for banning
social media access to children, let's hope the rest
of the world follows"?
Yes, usually, news from Australia is less
Down Under and more akin with the Upside Down,
but this week, they've done something quite radical.
As of Wednesday, all the major social media platforms have had
to take steps to remove any users under the age of 16.
And the worst thing is they're not even old enough to buy cigarettes
to calm their nerves.
Jon, Josh - how do you feel about this ban?
I
I think
I think it is a great idea. I
think...
I think it is a great idea. I think... I think that it is a bit
weird
think... I think that it is a bit weird that the only week in 13 years
when
weird that the only week in 13 years when we are praising Australia is
the
when we are praising Australia is the week that Adam is away.
- when we are praising Australia is the week that Adam is away. - Wait
- the week that Adam is away. - Wait until the ashes finishes next week.
- until the ashes finishes next week. - And also, I would totally ban social
media for under 16s with a caveat,
unless
media for under 16s with a caveat, unless they are being difficult and
you
unless they are being difficult and you want a bit of a rest.
The hope is that it'll stop young people from meeting men in their 40s
online whose Spotify Top 5 are Sabrina Carpenter songs.
APPLAUSE
One drawback is for kids who live in isolated areas.
Some people's closest neighbour lives about 50 miles away, so it's
the best way to communicate.
How much of a concern is that, do you think?
It's
It's the
It's the best way to communicate for
everyone.
- It's the best way to communicate for everyone. - There's nothing wrong with
- everyone. - There's nothing wrong with social media. It is the adults, we
have
social media. It is the adults, we have failed to ask the companies to
regulate
have failed to ask the companies to regulate what is on there. We are
addicted
regulate what is on there. We are addicted to it, it is adult finding
a
addicted to it, it is adult finding a product we are addicted to. I
don't
a product we are addicted to. I don't want you on your phone all the
time
don't want you on your phone all the time because I need it.
- don't want you on your phone all the time because I need it. - If they are
- time because I need it. - If they are 50 miles away, you can't use the
phrase,
50 miles away, you can't use the phrase, my nearest neighbour. They
are
phrase, my nearest neighbour. They are not your neighbour. Neighbours
was
are not your neighbour. Neighbours was set in Australia and Scott and
Charlene
was set in Australia and Scott and Charlene went 50 miles away. It is a
nightmare
Charlene went 50 miles away. It is a nightmare on trick and treat when
you
nightmare on trick and treat when you walk 50 miles to get a lollipop
stop
you walk 50 miles to get a lollipop stop what we were out for four
hours,
stop what we were out for four hours, we only did one house.
Under 16s have been banned from Facebook, Instagram,
Threads, X, YouTube, Snapchat, Reddit, Kick,
Twitch and TikTok.
Is there any of those you'd struggle to live without?
Well,
Well, I
Well, I am going to say it, Threads
are
Well, I am going to say it, Threads are fucking lucky to be on that
list.
are fucking lucky to be on that list. Everybody banned themselves
from
list. Everybody banned themselves from Threads 48 hours in!
To be honest, I don't think people over 16 should be on Twitch.
That's
That's the streaming on.
- That's the streaming on. - Yeah, no
one
- That's the streaming on. - Yeah, no one should be on that.
- What
- That's the streaming on. - Yeah, no one should be on that. - What is Kick?
- one should be on that. - What is Kick? - Snapchat in Australia is how they
check while the crocodiles are isn't
it?
- it? - #
- it? - # Tell me why...
Teenagers are already getting around the ban if they look
older than they are.
Much like back in our day when you could buy cider
from the offy if you had a bum fluff moustache.
No,
No, I
No, I never manage that! I'm still
waiting
No, I never manage that! I'm still waiting for that.
Take a look at this insightful clip.
What
What about you? Are you going to
miss
What about you? Are you going to miss your social media?
- What about you? Are you going to miss your social media? - I'm not
- miss your social media? - I'm not removing anything, the band hasn't
worked.
- removing anything, the band hasn't worked. - Why is that?
- Because
- removing anything, the band hasn't worked. - Why is that? - Because my
- worked. - Why is that? - Because my camera is terrible so they think I'm
16.
camera is terrible so they think I'm 16. I mean, that kid at the
bottom...
16. I mean, that kid at the bottom... They get at the top, but
there
bottom... They get at the top, but there were at the bottom, there is
no
there were at the bottom, there is no way.
- there were at the bottom, there is no way. - He can be mistaken for over
- no way. - He can be mistaken for over 16.
- The
- no way. - He can be mistaken for over 16. - The one at the bottom is me,
- 16. - The one at the bottom is me, fuck off!
Those kids don't seem that bothered, but in fairness,
they live in a country where everything from the sun
to plants is trying to kill you.
Hashtags are the least of their worries.
And
And also,
And also, kids will always find a
workaround.
And also, kids will always find a workaround. They will all be on
LinkedIn
workaround. They will all be on LinkedIn before you know it.
- workaround. They will all be on LinkedIn before you know it. - Sorry,
- LinkedIn before you know it. - Sorry, the autocue has just got stuck. I
have
the autocue has just got stuck. I have already said that bit! Adam
Hills
have already said that bit! Adam Hills has never had to say this!
- have already said that bit! Adam Hills has never had to say this! - Go
- Hills has never had to say this! - Go he has absolutely got you on the
autocue.
Now, I just felt a wave of sadness a bit like when Mufasa
dies in the Lion King - which I think must mean we're due
an update from Hills.
Yep, I'm hearing that he's on the line now.
Where are you, Hillsy?
Mainly
Mainly because the giant shit hit
the
Mainly because the giant shit hit the fan.
Also, the whole thing was taking too long.
I'm now gonna get on a bike, to make it to you quicker.
Just gotta put the leathers on.
Not sure this is necessary, is it? See you soon, boys.
This
This is
This is ridiculous!
- This is ridiculous! - APPLAUSE
Looks like the Hills on the bus goes round and round, eh?
Oh,
Oh, yes!
- Oh, yes! - # If you're getting down, baby...
Oh, there we are. What a highbrow
show
Oh, there we are. What a highbrow show this has become!
Don't worry, we've got some excellent guests
to make up for Hillsy's absence.
One hosts Big Brother, the other's missing
part of his bladder - it's AJ Odudu and Matt Forde!
APPLAUSE
- APPLAUSE - Hello! Good to see you!
- How
- APPLAUSE - Hello! Good to see you! - How are you,
mate?
- Hello.
- Welcome
- Hello! Good to see you! - How are you, mate? - Hello. - Welcome to the show.
- mate? - Hello. - Welcome to the show. - Are you all right?
- Tonight,
- mate? - Hello. - Welcome to the show. - Are you all right? - Tonight, we are
also
- Are you all right? - Tonight, we are also presenting our awards to people
who
also presenting our awards to people who have inspired us this year. Who
would
who have inspired us this year. Who would you nominate?
I
I would
I would nominate Bus Aunty, she is a
mental
I would nominate Bus Aunty, she is a mental health nurse but she's gone
viral
mental health nurse but she's gone viral for her love of double-decker
buses.
viral for her love of double-decker buses. She is great.
- viral for her love of double-decker buses. She is great. - This is a video
- buses. She is great. - This is a video of her in action.
APPLAUSE
- APPLAUSE - She is an icon, a legend, and she is
great.
- She is an icon, a legend, and she is great. - But the problem is that is,
- great. - But the problem is that is, she just looks like she keeps
missing
she just looks like she keeps missing the bus. She will have to
get
missing the bus. She will have to get taxis everywhere.
- missing the bus. She will have to get taxis everywhere. - She waves at
- get taxis everywhere. - She waves at the bus drivers, she shows them
appreciation.
the bus drivers, she shows them appreciation. She loves them. She
rides
appreciation. She loves them. She rides them. She met Keir Starmer on
one,
rides them. She met Keir Starmer on one, yeah.
- rides them. She met Keir Starmer on one, yeah. - Somebody over there last.
- one, yeah. - Somebody over there last. It wasn't me!
- Who
- one, yeah. - Somebody over there last. It wasn't me! - Who would you
- It wasn't me! - Who would you nominate?
- I
- It wasn't me! - Who would you nominate? - I want to nominate a nurse
- nominate? - I want to nominate a nurse who has helped me this year called
Sharon
who has helped me this year called Sharon Gill at the Royal National
Orthopaedic
Sharon Gill at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital. She is the
lead
Orthopaedic Hospital. She is the lead urology nurse and I had surgery
recently
lead urology nurse and I had surgery recently to deal with... I realise
this
recently to deal with... I realise this sort of thing, it is only when
you're
this sort of thing, it is only when you're saying it on live TV, I'm not
sure
you're saying it on live TV, I'm not sure this is something I should be
diverging,
sure this is something I should be diverging, to deal with my male
incontinence.
diverging, to deal with my male incontinence. I have had an
artificial
incontinence. I have had an artificial sphincter put into stop
me
artificial sphincter put into stop me weighing myself after spinal
surgery,
me weighing myself after spinal surgery, I had cancer a couple of
years
surgery, I had cancer a couple of years ago, I am a brave survivor.
- years ago, I am a brave survivor. - APPLAUSE
- Thank
- APPLAUSE - Thank you, thank you. One in two of
us will get it, I've had it so it is
coming
us will get it, I've had it so it is coming to to review. Watch out. --
it
coming to to review. Watch out. -- it is coming to two of you.
- coming to to review. Watch out. -- it is coming to two of you. - Thanks
- it is coming to two of you. - Thanks for joining us!
- The
- it is coming to two of you. - Thanks for joining us! - The Angel of death
- for joining us! - The Angel of death has arrived!
- Josh,
- for joining us! - The Angel of death has arrived! - Josh, who will you
- has arrived! - Josh, who will you nominate?
- Last
- has arrived! - Josh, who will you nominate? - Last week, I nominated
- nominate? - Last week, I nominated Sabrina Carpenter but we could not
get
Sabrina Carpenter but we could not get her the award, we contacted her
agent
get her the award, we contacted her agent and they said, really sorry,
it
agent and they said, really sorry, it is unlikely we will get anything
for
it is unlikely we will get anything for the show tomorrow. Apologies, I
don't
for the show tomorrow. Apologies, I don't want to give you any false
hope,
don't want to give you any false hope, as if we had any fucking false
hope.
hope, as if we had any fucking false hope. But we have got it made so
here
hope. But we have got it made so here is a classic racy picture of
what
here is a classic racy picture of what we remember Sabrina Carpenter's
outfit's
what we remember Sabrina Carpenter's outfit's and here is the Hans.
- what we remember Sabrina Carpenter's outfit's and here is the Hans. - They
- outfit's and here is the Hans. - They are like twins. I think that is very
similar.
- are like twins. I think that is very similar. - Who is yours?
- I
- are like twins. I think that is very similar. - Who is yours? - I liked the
- similar. - Who is yours? - I liked the fact even her agent said you could
re-script
fact even her agent said you could re-script the segment and you
decided
re-script the segment and you decided to do it anyway.
- re-script the segment and you decided to do it anyway. - Who is your
- decided to do it anyway. - Who is your nomination?
- I
- decided to do it anyway. - Who is your nomination? - I did not know Matt was
- nomination? - I did not know Matt was going to do a nurse that operated on
him
going to do a nurse that operated on him so I have picked a darts player
who
him so I have picked a darts player who has suffered a different kind of
adversity
who has suffered a different kind of adversity this year. He has had to
changes
adversity this year. He has had to changes nickname because his name is
Tim
changes nickname because his name is Tim Pusey and he wanted to be called
the
Tim Pusey and he wanted to be called the magnet. I just think it is a
sign
the magnet. I just think it is a sign that darts has lost its way a
little
sign that darts has lost its way a little bit.
- sign that darts has lost its way a little bit. - What is wrong with
- little bit. - What is wrong with magnet Tim?
- He
- little bit. - What is wrong with magnet Tim? - He has changed it to one
- magnet Tim? - He has changed it to one chuck so he dealt with it very well.
We'll have more Last Leg of Stand Up to Cancer for you after the break,
as we hand out more Hans awards and check in on far-away Hills.
See you soon.
Welcome back to The Last Leg of Stand Up 2 Cancer.
We're joined by Jon Richardson...
AJ Odudu...
And Matt Forde.
But still not Adam Hills.
CHEERING.
Now, let's focus on the important people, the ones that can be
bothered to be here.
Matt, it is Stand Up to Cancer tonight and this is a subject
particularly close to your heart and your spine.
Tell
Tell us
Tell us what happened.
- Tell us what happened. - I got spinal
cancer
- Tell us what happened. - I got spinal cancer couple of years ago. I was
performing
cancer couple of years ago. I was performing at Edinburgh has terrible
pain
performing at Edinburgh has terrible pain in my buttocks and I went to
see
pain in my buttocks and I went to see a doctor, got an array there was
a
see a doctor, got an array there was a rare cancer in my Spain spine that
only
a rare cancer in my Spain spine that only one in a million people get.
You
only one in a million people get. You can't quite comprehend its
cancer.
- You can't quite comprehend its cancer. - When you told me, you texted
- cancer. - When you told me, you texted me and did it in the form of a quiz
question.
- me and did it in the form of a quiz question. - That reflects really badly
- question. - That reflects really badly on me, but Josh are part of a text
group
on me, but Josh are part of a text group there is a running joke so I
said,
group there is a running joke so I said, what's wrong with me? Asthma,
cancer...
said, what's wrong with me? Asthma, cancer... I knew nobody was going to
get
cancer... I knew nobody was going to get it. It added a game show element
to
get it. It added a game show element to proceedings.
But you recently had some good news?
Yes,
Yes, I
Yes, I am
Yes, I am two years clear of cancer.
- Yes, I am two years clear of cancer. - Matt, but only means one thing,
bring them out.
Live Forever.
CHEERING
- CHEERING - Earlier in the show,
you mentioned giving your neurology nurse
Sharon Gill a Hans Award tonight.
Well much like Hillsy, she couldn't be bothered to show up.
But she has recorded you this message.
thank
thank you, I'm so grateful. I wish
you
thank you, I'm so grateful. I wish you all the best and see you soon.
You can still donate to Stand up to Cancer.
We'll reveal the total raised for the night
at the end of the show.
Almost one in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime.
Help us fight back.
To give £40, £30, £20 or £10 to support
Stand Up To Cancer, text 40, 30, 20 or 10 to 70404, or to donate any
amount online, go to channel4.com/su2c.
100% of the money you give will fund life-saving cancer research.
Time for another Hans Award as we continue to recognise some
of the heroes of the year.
# I can be your Hans, baby.
# I can Hans away the pain.
# I will Hans by you forever.
# You can take my Hans away.
Our first award is for Fay, who adapts and teaches
Strictly Come Dancing performances so they can be performed
by wheelchair users, and posts them to her Instagram,
all whilst battling ME herself.
I
I wanted
I wanted to say thank you and I'm
delighted
I wanted to say thank you and I'm delighted to accept the Hans Award
for
delighted to accept the Hans Award for adapting Strictly Come Dancing
routines
for adapting Strictly Come Dancing routines each week show disabled
people
routines each week show disabled people that dance is for everyone.
- people that dance is for everyone. - APPLAUSE.
- Celia
- people that dance is for everyone. - APPLAUSE. - Celia Imrie was
nominated...
Our second award of the night goes to Celia Imrie,
who was nominated by Adam Hills on last week's show for owning her
own embarrassment on the Traitors.
Here she is accepting her award.
I
I am
I am delighted to be an award winner
and
I am delighted to be an award winner and if it's for making people laugh,
I
and if it's for making people laugh, I couldn't be happier, and I wish
you
I couldn't be happier, and I wish you all health and happiness for the
year
you all health and happiness for the year ahead and thank you again.
- year ahead and thank you again. - CHEERING.
APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The Last Leg of Stand Up to Cancer.
We're joined by Jon Richardson, AJ Odudu, and Matt Forde,
but still not Adam Hills.
And don't forget, you can still donate, and we'll announce
the total amount raised at the end of the show.
There
There we
There we go! Matt, you are going on
tour
There we go! Matt, you are going on tour in the New Year?
- There we go! Matt, you are going on tour in the New Year? - Yes, going
- tour in the New Year? - Yes, going across the UK from January to June,
where
across the UK from January to June, where I will talk about male
incontinence
where I will talk about male incontinence and erectile
dysfunction
incontinence and erectile dysfunction and all the usual
cliches.
dysfunction and all the usual cliches. A classic stand-up show!
All
cliches. A classic stand-up show! All the well worn topics, and
impressions
All the well worn topics, and impressions of Donald Trump and Keir
Starmer.
- impressions of Donald Trump and Keir Starmer. - Let's get to Donald Trump.
David asked...
Yes, this week it was revealed that travellers planning visits
to the USA will soon have to provide a variety of extra information,
including dates and birthplaces of family members, and their social
media activity going back five years.
Is everyone worried?
No,
No, I'm
No, I'm not worried at all because
all
No, I'm not worried at all because all of the dodgy tweets I send out
are
all of the dodgy tweets I send out are from my burner account, at Josh
Widdicombe.
- Widdicombe. - # Tell me why
# Ain't nothing but a heartache...
How
# Ain't nothing but a heartache... How are you feeling about it because
when
How are you feeling about it because when you don't want to feel like you
are
when you don't want to feel like you are being spied on or vetted. It is
hard
are being spied on or vetted. It is hard enough getting through passport
control.
hard enough getting through passport control. Yes, and you are going to
have
control. Yes, and you are going to have to give your parents birthdays?
I
have to give your parents birthdays? I don't know that!
- have to give your parents birthdays? I don't know that! - I don't know that
- I don't know that! - I don't know that information.
- If
- I don't know that! - I don't know that information. - If I need to go to
- information. - If I need to go to America and know my daughter's
birthday,
America and know my daughter's birthday, I am fucked.
- America and know my daughter's birthday, I am fucked. - You know what
- birthday, I am fucked. - You know what my mum's social media is like.
- She
- my mum's social media is like. - She is in my DM draw too much. Not that
way!
is in my DM draw too much. Not that way! She just gets a lot of traction
from
way! She just gets a lot of traction from my content. That is not making
it
from my content. That is not making it better!
- from my content. That is not making it better! - Has she hit the bell on
- it better! - Has she hit the bell on your YouTube channel as well?
We've looked into it and here are three absolute red flags.
People that are deemed too dangerous...
People that brag about their holidays...
They
They are
They are the worst! Look at that!
And total nutjobs.
Number
Number two, Flying Without Wings!
However, there is a workaround for those looking
to move to America.
President Trump has announced a scheme offering fast-tracked
US visas for a cost of at least $1 million.
Would you like to see the tasteful, genuine, gold card?
This
This is
This is what you will get. Look at
that.
This is what you will get. Look at that. That is a real picture of
Donald
that. That is a real picture of Donald Trump riding an Eagle past
the
Donald Trump riding an Eagle past the Statue of Liberty.
- Donald Trump riding an Eagle past the Statue of Liberty. - A really
- the Statue of Liberty. - A really small eagle!
- Do
- the Statue of Liberty. - A really small eagle! - Do you want to see a
- small eagle! - Do you want to see a very cheery snap of somebody who is
so
very cheery snap of somebody who is so happy with their gold card? Look
at
so happy with their gold card? Look at his little face! He looks like
Charlie
at his little face! He looks like Charlie bucket! It's unbelievable.
- Charlie bucket! It's unbelievable. - More like grandpa Joe, to be fair.
One of the great things about Hillsy not being here is I can do
the stories I want to cover.
This week, in huge news, Bez from the Happy Mondays has said
he fears he could lose his job to an AI bot.
Are
Are you
Are you all right?
- Are you all right? - He didn't,
though,
- Are you all right? - He didn't, though, did he?
- He
- Are you all right? - He didn't, though, did he? - He did.
Speaking to The Big Issue about this, he said...
Guys, are you worried for Bez, or even yourselves?
I
I haven't
I haven't got time to worry about
Bez.
I haven't got time to worry about Bez. Have you seen my life? AI is
not
Bez. Have you seen my life? AI is not coming for Bez, no one cares if
a
not coming for Bez, no one cares if a computer does drugs.
- not coming for Bez, no one cares if a computer does drugs. - APPLAUSE
- a computer does drugs. - APPLAUSE AJ, are you worried about AI Odudu?
- AJ, are you worried about AI Odudu? - I've got a lot of time for that!
- I'm
not
- I've got a lot of time for that! - I'm not worried, I feel like, it's
complex,
not worried, I feel like, it's complex, it's already here, it isn't
something
complex, it's already here, it isn't something to fear, we need to get
our
something to fear, we need to get our heads around it because it is
not
our heads around it because it is not something that is going to
happen,
not something that is going to happen, it is already happening, you
know
happen, it is already happening, you know what I mean?
- happen, it is already happening, you know what I mean? - Pour Bez, he has
- know what I mean? - Pour Bez, he has gone already. Matt, worried?
- No,
- know what I mean? - Pour Bez, he has gone already. Matt, worried? - No, I
- gone already. Matt, worried? - No, I think it is basically not as good as
people
think it is basically not as good as people worry about. I think it is
basically
people worry about. I think it is basically rubbish.
- people worry about. I think it is basically rubbish. - Are we talking
- basically rubbish. - Are we talking about AI or Bez?
- AI,
- basically rubbish. - Are we talking about AI or Bez? - AI, I think Bez
- about AI or Bez? - AI, I think Bez poses a bigger threat to my safety
than
poses a bigger threat to my safety than AI. AI is just Google, isn't
it?
- than AI. AI is just Google, isn't it? - Have you seen the Spanish monkey
- it? - Have you seen the Spanish monkey that does ASMR, though?
- What
- it? - Have you seen the Spanish monkey that does ASMR, though? - What Jamaat
- that does ASMR, though? - What Jamaat are you on drugs now?
- It
- that does ASMR, though? - What Jamaat are you on drugs now? - It is good
- are you on drugs now? - It is good stuff. It is a Spanish monkey that
eats
stuff. It is a Spanish monkey that eats food on Instagram and tells you
about
eats food on Instagram and tells you about it in in whispers.
- eats food on Instagram and tells you about it in in whispers. - Do you know
- about it in in whispers. - Do you know what? You've got a lot to worry
about.
All right, it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest.
It's someone from the news, and our guests
have to try to identify them.
Can we have this week's mystery guest, please?
#
# Oh
#
# Oh # Mysterious Dester
#
# Mysterious Dester # I want to get close to you...
Alex, who is the mystery guest?
This is Ha Dang, but why was he in the news this week?
Can
Can we
Can we have the dramatic lighting
change,
Can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
A - He travelled to Delhi, where he made
the final of the throwing a tea bag into a mug World Series.
B - He travelled to Las Vegas, where he made the final
of the Microsoft Excel World Championships.
C - He travelled to Buenos Aires, where he made the final
of the sock pairing World Cup.
OK
OK Charles Green
- OK Charles Green - Tea-bagging!
- What
are
- OK Charles Green - Tea-bagging! - What are you thinking?
- I'm
- OK Charles Green - Tea-bagging! - What are you thinking? - I'm going what the
- are you thinking? - I'm going what the middle one was.
- That
- are you thinking? - I'm going what the middle one was. - That is the spirit,
- middle one was. - That is the spirit, you don't even remember them.
- you don't even remember them. - Because it is Microsoft?
- There
- you don't even remember them. - Because it is Microsoft? - There was
less
- Because it is Microsoft? - There was less reaction on the second option.
- less reaction on the second option. - All right, Joe Myler from the
Traitors.
- All right, Joe Myler from the Traitors. - I'm just saying, you don't
- Traitors. - I'm just saying, you don't need AI. White micro so if it is
Microsoft
need AI. White micro so if it is Microsoft Excel, you have proven we
don't
Microsoft Excel, you have proven we don't need AI? Yes.
- Microsoft Excel, you have proven we don't need AI? Yes. - And if it is
- don't need AI? Yes. - And if it is Tea-bagging, AI all the way.
We'll have more Last Leg of Stand Up To Cancer after the break,
when we'll find out if this man is very quick at pairing socks,
and announce the final Hans Award of 2025.
But before that, let's see where Hillsy is.
Hillsy, where are you?
Lads, I'm off the bike, but only because I've spotted
someone I think you're gonna wanna meet.
I'm gonna bring them to the studio and keep it a surprise for now.
No Alex, it's not Abz from 5ive, or Jay from 5ive,
or Richie from 5ive.
But I can't put them on the bike, so I'm gonna
have to take a rickshaw.
I
I think
I think we're going to make it in
time
I think we're going to make it in time and will be happy to see this
person.
time and will be happy to see this person. Have we checked that the
rickshaw
person. Have we checked that the rickshaw has got a blue badge?
Find out if Hillsy makes it back after the break.
See you soon.
Welcome back to The Last Leg of Stand Up 2 Cancer.
I'm back in the big chair and we're joined by
Jon Richardson, AJ Odudu, and Matt Forde.
Before the break, we challenged AJ and Matt
to work out how this person was connected to the news.
Jon, can we have the options again please?
Sorry,
Sorry, I
Sorry, I forgot how well produced
this
Sorry, I forgot how well produced this is!
A - He travelled to Delhi, where he made
the final of the throwing a tea bag into a mug World Series.
B - He travelled to Las Vegas, where he made the final
of the Microsoft Excel World Championships.
C - He travelled to Buenos Aires, where he made the final
of the sock pairing World Cup.
What
What are
What are you thinking?
- What are you thinking? - They are all
believable
- What are you thinking? - They are all believable but I'm going to stick to
the
believable but I'm going to stick to the tea bagging.
- believable but I'm going to stick to the tea bagging. - I'm going Microsoft
- the tea bagging. - I'm going Microsoft Excel. I would believe all of them.
- Excel. I would believe all of them. - Can ask questions?
- Can
- Excel. I would believe all of them. - Can ask questions? - Can we not?
- Somebody
- Can ask questions? - Can we not? - Somebody has got power behind the
desk, haven't they?
- Somebody has got power behind the desk, haven't they? - Are you not
- desk, haven't they? - Are you not sure? You are going for the
computers.
Mystery guest, can you reveal the correct answer, please,
and tell us why you have been in the news?
I
I made
I made to
I made to Las Vegas last week and I
made
I made to Las Vegas last week and I made the final of the Microsoft
Excel
made the final of the Microsoft Excel World Championship.
What
What happens at the Microsoft Excel
World
What happens at the Microsoft Excel World Cup?
- What happens at the Microsoft Excel World Cup? - Each battle is a 30
- World Cup? - Each battle is a 30 minute challenge you have the answer
the
minute challenge you have the answer the question on several levels and
you
the question on several levels and you have to use Microsoft Excel to
solve
you have to use Microsoft Excel to solve it as quickly as possible.
- you have to use Microsoft Excel to solve it as quickly as possible. - How
- solve it as quickly as possible. - How did you get into it?
- I
- solve it as quickly as possible. - How did you get into it? - I saw an effort
- did you get into it? - I saw an effort for the UK chapter and I thought it
looked
for the UK chapter and I thought it looked fun, so I tried it out and I
won
looked fun, so I tried it out and I won UK championship.
- looked fun, so I tried it out and I won UK championship. - We don't need
- won UK championship. - We don't need AI!
- What
- won UK championship. - We don't need AI! - What sort of questions they ask?
- AI! - What sort of questions they ask? - A mix of data analysis, critical
thinking and some maths. You might
get
thinking and some maths. You might get the names of ten people and be
told,
get the names of ten people and be told, how many of those names have B
in.
- told, how many of those names have B in. - Just Microsoft Excel or do you
- in. - Just Microsoft Excel or do you do other spreadsheets?
- You
- in. - Just Microsoft Excel or do you do other spreadsheets? - You are
- do other spreadsheets? - You are supposed to use Microsoft Excel but
the
supposed to use Microsoft Excel but the reigning champion challenged
himself
the reigning champion challenged himself to do one of the rent in
Google
himself to do one of the rent in Google sheets.
- himself to do one of the rent in Google sheets. - Showboating!
- Turned
- Google sheets. - Showboating! - Turned round to your other half and said,
by
round to your other half and said, by the way, I'm going to Las Vegas
for
by the way, I'm going to Las Vegas for a Microsoft Excel World
Championship.
Jon has actually got a darts shirt with a nickname for you.
It's
It's the
It's the Excel Bullet.
Jon has been punching the news this week.
Jon, what have you got for us?
Would you like to see an utterly perfect clip that makes
you think everything is good with the world?
Yes.
LAUGHTER.
DOG
LAUGHTER. DOG BARKING.
Would you like to see some delightful footage of an Australian
getting distracted while leaf blowing around his pool?
It
It proves
It proves that instant Karma exists
in
It proves that instant Karma exists in Australia.
He
He tries
He tries to blow the leaf blower up
the
He tries to blow the leaf blower up the anus of the dog.
- He tries to blow the leaf blower up the anus of the dog. - We've got an
- the anus of the dog. - We've got an extra one. John, is for you. It's a
message
extra one. John, is for you. It's a message from a Hans Award winner.
- message from a Hans Award winner. - I'm happy to accept the Hans Award
and I want to everybody who
nominated
and I want to everybody who nominated me. The award will look
great
nominated me. The award will look great in the trophy cabinet, perfect
preparation
great in the trophy cabinet, perfect preparation for the World
Championship
preparation for the World Championship and I'll be beaming
with
Championship and I'll be beaming with confidence.
We've just heard the amount you've raised
for Stand Up To Cancer so far is...
14
14 million £212,660.
CHEERING.
#
CHEERING. # Celebrate good times, come on
#
# Celebrate good times, come on # Celebrate good times, come on...
We are about to end the show with our final Hans Award but,
before we do, would you please thank our guests, AJ Odudu.
And Matt Forde.
And my co-host, Alex Brooker.
And my co-host, Josh Widdicombe.
And our other co-host, Jon Richardson.
We'll be back next week with everyone's third
favourite host, Adam Hills, plus our guests...
Fatiha El-Ghorri and Roisin Conaty.
But, for now, let's see who our final Hans Awards go to.
# I can be your Hans, baby I can Hans away the pain
# I will Hans by you forever You can take my Hans away...
Our penultimate Hans Award goes to Chris Stephenson and David Spencer.
They are Kevin Sinfield's fellow runners, who cover
every mile alongside him, completing challenges,
all in aid of the charity MND.
Kevin was recognised with a Hans Award last year,
so this year we're recognising Chris and David too.
Thank
Thank you
Thank you very much for this
nomination,
Thank you very much for this nomination, it means a great deal.
It's
nomination, it means a great deal. It's an honour and privilege to
represent
It's an honour and privilege to represent them in the community, to
be
represent them in the community, to be part of an incredible team and to
run
be part of an incredible team and to run alongside Kevin. My job is to
use
run alongside Kevin. My job is to use and most enjoyable part,
training
use and most enjoyable part, training with a mate, for a mate.
Anything
training with a mate, for a mate. Anything which shines a light on MND
and
Anything which shines a light on MND and the cruel disease it is good and
I
and the cruel disease it is good and I feel very humbled that I've been
able
I feel very humbled that I've been able to see and to touch people that
have
able to see and to touch people that have been impacted by this cruel
disease.
have been impacted by this cruel disease. We will continue to run
with
disease. We will continue to run with a mate, for a mate, until we
find
with a mate, for a mate, until we find a cure or MND. Thank you so
much.
- much. - APPLAUSE
The next Hans Award goes to 15-year-old Charlotte Gower,
who won triple gold, as Great Britain secured 12 medals
at the Deaflympics in Tokyo.
I'm
I'm so
I'm so pleased to accept a 2025 Hans
Award
I'm so pleased to accept a 2025 Hans Award after getting three gold
medals
Award after getting three gold medals for Great Britain at the deaf
Olympics.
medals for Great Britain at the deaf Olympics. I hope this helps to raise
the
Olympics. I hope this helps to raise the profile of deaf sport and give
deaf
the profile of deaf sport and give deaf athletes the recognition they
deserve.
deaf athletes the recognition they deserve. Thank you to everybody who
nominated
deserve. Thank you to everybody who nominated me. It means a lot.
That's it for the 2025 Hans Awards.
Bad
Bad news!
Bad news! We have just heard that
Hillsy
Bad news! We have just heard that Hillsy isn't going to make it back.
And our final Hans Award goes to a very special person.
Please put your hands together for Matt's nurse, Sharon Gill.
Oh,
Oh, my
Oh, my God!
Thanks for watching The Last Leg Of Stand Up To Cancer.
Our names are Josh Widdicombe.
And Alex Brooker.
See you next week for the next leg.
# I can be your Hans, baby I can Hans away the pain
# I will Hans by you forever You can take my Hans away...