- I love you. I just don't need
a piece of paper to prove it.
- And I never thought of marriage
as just a piece of paper.
Zane quit this morning.
- Are you breaking up with me
because I got promoted over you?
- I need a fresh start.
- To your success, Charles.
- And may you continue to fail.
It suits you.
- Finally, a compliment.
- I know endings, and it doesn't seem
like that's where we are-- at the end.
- It's best we both move on.
[ethereal electronic music]
* *
- Hey.
How you doing?
- When I woke up,
for a second, I didn't remember.
And then I remembered everything.
- Mm.
- I just can't believe it's really over.
- Hon, come here.
- [sighs]
- You know, I made coffee cake.
Maybe you should stay home from work today.
- We're already shorthanded with Diana being out.
I gotta show up.
And I gotta be professional.
- Is that why professional people
are always so miserable?
Come on, I'll walk you to the L.
- You don't have to do that. - No, no, no.
I've gotta drop off some artwork
at Josh's studio anyway.
Come on. Let's go.
* *
- I didn't know you were working with Josh.
- Yeah, we're collab-ing together.
I mean, I think designing tattoos is gonna be fun.
I've never worked on a canvas that sweats before.
- [laughs]
Well, I'll see you tonight?
- Why don't you come on in and say hello?
- Oh, I don't think so.
I'm barely holding it together as it is.
Oh. - Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, good morning. - Hi.
- So you got a ring or what?
- Um... she and Charles broke up.
- Wait, what?
What happened? - Well, I--
I really agreed with what you said
that relationships shouldn't have to be defined.
- Yeah. - But as it turns out,
Charles really needs them to be defined,
so he defined us as finished.
- I'm sorry.
- It's all for the best.
Talk later? - Yeah.
- I'm late for work. - Yeah.
- Which is...
that way. - Yeah.
- This way. - Yep.
- Bye. - Okay.
Bye!
- * I hear your voice in the darkness *
* And I see your face when you're not around *
- Oh, yum. Can you pour me one?
- Sure.
Nice suit. - Oh, thank you.
Yeah, since Ms. Trout has entrusted me
with the power of her office-- two stevias, please--
I'm going to embody her values in every way that I can.
- Yeah, well.
I'm just glad you gave up the necklaces.
- Can I have a splash of oat milk?
Little more.
I mean, I might be Diana's stand-in, but...
I'm not her clone. [chuckles]
This is terrible.
- Hey, Liza. How are you?
- [sighs] Could be better.
- It gets easier.
I promise.
Go put your stuff down.
I've got something to cheer you up.
Redmond is coming in with a new project.
- About? - You'll see.
- Good morning. - Morning.
- Nice going on the Fupa Grunhof announcement.
We're getting some great press on it already.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
- I thought he was gonna be weird,
but he was just surprisingly friendly.
- I know. Somehow, that's worse.
[upbeat music]
- Greetings, power people.
My client needs no introduction,
but since I'm already talking, please allow me to present
nine-time Triple Crown winner and surf legend,
Kai Manning. - G'day, folks.
- Wow.
- Told you it was gonna cheer you up.
- Now, many of you know him
as the face of Quiksilver surf apparel
or maybe you know him from his internationally-recognized
humanitarian effort in Senegal,
or maybe you've seen his top-rated NatGeo show
"Surfin' Safari."
[upbeat music]
- Oh, look at him.
* *
- Aww.
* *
- [laughs]
* *
- Yeah!
* *
- Need I say more?
- Well, since we are talking about a book, yes.
I would like to know more. Like, what is the actual story?
- It's whatever we want it to be.
He has 18 million followers and this is the cover.
- Oh, marketing's on board. - So there's nothing specific?
There's no point of view?
- Charles, if you're not interested--
- No, no, no. No, I like the question.
That's smart.
But here's the thing.
There are heaps of stories I could tell.
Like growing up poor in Tangambalanga,
in Australia. Or--
all the wild shit that happens behind the scenes on tour.
Or that freaky summer I spent with a famous actress.
I don't know what the take is,
and I don't want to tie it down yet.
You know? I want to explore.
Be free.
Does that make sense? - Makes sense to me.
- Look, we came to you first
because I thought this was the perfect
aspirational title for "Millennial."
- We're no longer publishing under the name "Millennial."
- What? - Yeah, it's all being folded
into the legacy brand "Empirical."
- So the Steinbeck reissues get lumped in
with the feminist sex toy guide?
- Mm. - [laughs]
How about you get your branding together
and come back to me with an offer...
soon.
Ciao for now. - All right,
nice to meet you guys.
- Bye.
- Hope you got paid a lot of money
to let them "vertically integrate" you.
- You guys, Redmond is right.
We need a serious rebranding campaign.
We should start with a launch party.
- Agreed, but we don't have the budget for that.
- Ah, we don't have the budget for a Space Force,
but we're doing that.
[phone notification chimes]
- Excuse me. [clears throat]
[mid-tempo music]
* *
[phone keyboard clicking]
[text message whooshes]
- Coming straight from work. Question.
Do we like this guy?
* *
Well, I have to drop a deuce,
and I could do it here or there.
- [laughs]
* *
- Oh, my Goddess.
This is Williamsburg?
- It's more like the building that ate Williamsburg.
How rich is this guy?
- Oh, come on, don't be jealous.
You're both pretty.
Hello! - I'm so glad you made it.
Lauren, this is my boyfriend, Rob.
- Welcome. - I am blown away
by this building.
Your taste, the space.
Rob, it's just--it's stunning.
- Thank you.
Now all I need are more buyers.
It's definitely pricey for the neighborhood.
You know what I mean, Josh? - Um...
Maybe I can help you there, Rob.
Have you ever considered hosting,
like, a--a tasteful arts event
as a way to showcase your building
to high net worth individuals?
- How high net worth are we talking about?
- Ever heard of Kai Manning?
- Heard of him?
[scoffs] I am a huge fan.
- Fabulous. - Not to brag,
but I am a legit Pipe Master.
[upbeat music]
- Oh, Pipe Master. [laughs]
Good for you. - You see this?
* *
[calm music]
* *
- So, to be honest, I was a little mad at you
in Chicago.
- Why?
- Because I was telling you about how heartbroken
and exhausted I was after losing the primary,
and you told me to write another book.
- Well, you told me you were...
seeing life from a whole different angle
and that you would change what you wrote in "Claw,"
if you could. So to me, then,
it sounds like a book. - You were right.
- Ha! - I started writing,
and it just flowed out of me.
Like, page after page after page.
And the title--are you ready?
- Yeah.
- "The F Word."
- [laughs]
That sounds like you have an axe to grind.
- The F is for failure.
The dirtiest F word there is. - [laughs]
- But it shouldn't be,
because with failure comes opportunity.
In success, people just keep doing
whatever it is they've been doing.
But with failure, it makes you grow.
It makes you rethink.
We should be throwing a party for failure.
We should be popping champagne and French kissing it.
That's what "The F Word" is gonna be about,
and I want you to publish it.
- Why don't you come down to the office
and discuss it with the team?
- See, I would love that.
[phone chimes] Oh.
I gotta go.
They're honoring Sondheim for the hundredth time.
- [laughs] - Oh, um...
one more thing.
I didn't end things so well
with Liza last time,
so, you know, if you could convince your girlfriend
just to keep and open mind. [chuckles]
- Um...
Liza and I are actually--
we're not together anymore.
- Wait. Since I saw you in Chicago?
- Yeah. - Oh.
I'm so sorry.
Well, now I'm excited for you to read chapter nine.
- Chapter nine?
- Yeah, it's all about reinvention.
'Cause isn't it true that with every loss
comes unexpected opportunity?
[upbeat music]
- * I can make you helpless * - See you.
- * Helplessly, you're messing with me *
* Helpless *
[upbeat music]
* *
- Hey. Hi, how's it going?
You're Josh, right? You run this place?
- Yep. - They're with me.
We work for a singer who's on her way over here.
She's kind of famous and very demanding
and she wants a face tattoo from you and only you.
- I'll do my best.
- Please don't. - What?
- I actually want you to stall her.
Tell her anything. Tell her you're out of ink,
you sprained your wrist, just don't give her what she wants.
- So...
is this singer, like, a kid or something?
What's going on here? - No.
Look, I don't really have time to screw around.
We're talking about Floaty V.
- Ah, Floaty V? Miss Can't-Miss?
- Yes.
You probably think she already has it made,
but the truth is,
the music industry doesn't pay shit.
She doesn't even own her songs.
Plus, her parents and five sisters live off her
and she is this close to a Chanel endorsement
which would change everything.
Or she could ruin it all in one hour with you.
- With me?
- Mm-hmm. - Mm.
- She's coming in.
- Please.
* *
Floaty V.
This is Josh. - Hey.
* *
- Zendaya says you're the best.
- How is she?
- Busy.
- I get that.
All right, take your time. You can just--
- I already know what I want.
This one, this one, this one, that one,
connected together across my forehead.
- Okay, um...
Why don't we just take a seat for a second
and we can walk this through?
- This dress doesn't sit.
- [laughs] Okay.
Not a problem. Look,
I've been doing this for a while.
And one thing I've learned
is that you don't wanna get too many tattoos
all at the same time.
- I do. - Are you sure?
I mean, the greatest thing about tattoos
is they tell a story. Right?
Over time. Your story.
It's powerful, right?
We can tell your story in the most beautiful,
collaborative way possible.
But...
it deserves to just be done slowly, you know?
- I like that. - Huh.
- Let's start with a boob. - [laughs]
I--I'm booked up solid today,
but tonight, 8:00 p.m., I could get you in?
- Hmm. Flirt.
Put that on my schedule.
- Mm-hmm.
- Story time. - * Kill the beat *
* If you're looking so fine * - She's walking out.
- * Go wild if you're feeling all right *
* Take the night with your friends *
* Leave your man on red *
* Till the morning light *
* You'll do what you want *
* 'Cause you're the queen *
[phone rings]
- Hello. - Good news, ladies.
Kai Manning really liked you
even though Daddy ate your imprint.
- We're stronger as a unified--
- Sure, sure, sure. Anyway, listen.
Before Kai makes his decision,
he really wants to spend a little time
outside the office with his prospective editor.
If he's gonna trust someone with his life story,
he wants to get to know them a little bit better first.
He said he wants to "hang."
- Liza can hang with him. - What?
Sure, yes. I can--
I'll--I can hang with him.
Maybe we can "hang 10."
- Hanging up. Ehh.
- Don't do that. - I--
it's a surf--
[upbeat music]
- Ladies. Charles wants to know
if you're ready for a last-minute bitch
in the conference room.
Nope, I mean pitch, pitch. - What?
- Who's the writer?
- Quinn Tyler.
- Ugh, what does that pitch
want to bitch anyway?
- [chuckles] - Wait.
You know what I mean.
- So it was ultimately failure
that sharpened our greatest president.
With each defeat, he gained the strength and foresight
to eventually change the course of history.
And so can we.
- Excellent.
Thank you, Quinn.
- So, to be clear,
you're ending your book
by comparing yourself to Abraham Lincoln?
- [chuckles] No.
I'm not comparing myself.
I'm giving the book a broader scope.
And it was actually Charles's idea.
This whole book was actually Charles's idea.
- Uh, well, we have...
lots to discuss here.
Thank you for coming in, Quinn.
And we'll get in touch shortly.
- Talk soon. Bye.
[curious music]
* *
- Okay. Thoughts?
- Well, I hate to say it,
but that book's going to perform.
- Yeah, the title kind of sells itself.
- But can we really trust Quinn?
- Liza, what do you think?
- I don't know what to think.
- Let's all give it some consideration
and email me by the end of the day.
[soft music]
- Okay.
* *
- * We all like to party on a Saturday night *
- Okay, we need ice at station two.
And can someone please bring champagne
to the short guy from "Longreads"?
Thank you.
Good. This is good.
Great.
Can we do just a few with the publisher now?
Just the publisher.
- Oh.
Of course.
- No, sorry, Kitten!
I'm just trying to do my job.
- Whatever. - What?
* *
- Okay. - Oh!
This is "hanging out" for you?
- I know it seems fancy,
but it's a way that you can meet everyone in the company.
They're all really good people
who are really good at what they do.
- Hello, Mr. Manning.
Lauren Heller, we met yesterday.
- Oh, yeah! Good to see you again.
- Yeah, nice to see you too. E & E?
- E for "Empirical." Nice!
- Yeah, here's the fun part.
Some of the E's
are actually E.
- She's kidding. - I hope not.
- Kai Manning.
I--I am such a big fan.
- Can we get a photo?
- Yeah, sure. - Yes!
- Go on.
- Okay.
- Oh.
Heyo!
[camera clicks]
[laughter]
- Okay, who's ready for a tour?
- Ooh, me!
[laughs] - Show me the way.
- And this is my favorite. The chef's kitchen.
- Custom cabinetry, Calacatta marble.
- Ooh, and the best part is the wine vault.
* *
- Now, if you don't collect wine,
you can use it for cold storage.
Or one owner uses his as a podcasting studio
since it is sound proof.
- I'd use it as a mediation room.
- I'd make it my trumpet room.
- You play the trumpet? - Uh, that's right.
While you were busy surfing,
I was wearing a heavy wool uniform,
marching backwards playing "We Will Rock You."
[laughter]
It was rough.
* *
- Hello, Charles.
- Hi, Maggie. - Hi.
- It's...quite a view, right?
- Yeah, it's great.
Except this 40-story penis
is blocking out all the daylight on my street.
- [chuckles]
- I'm really sorry about you and Liza.
How are you doing?
- Uh...I'm okay.
Thank you for asking.
- I never thought you guys would end it
on a technicality.
- Uh...
it wasn't a technicality.
In the end, I think I never
really had her whole heart.
- Well...
that's too bad.
'Cause you did.
* *
See you.
* *
- * Here they come like a bee to the honey *
* *
- Kelsey, let me introduce you to my boyfriend, Rob.
This is Kelsey Peters. She's one of the publishers.
- Thank you so much for hosting us.
And I'm actually not a publisher anymore.
I was publisher back when we were "Millennial," but--
- Oh, so that's what this whole rebrand is all about?
- Yeah. - Oh, that sucks.
I lost a business once too.
But you're here, smiling through it.
Good for you. I holed up in my apartment
and lived off Postmates and vape pens for a month.
- Well, that sounds like a pretty good month.
- Yeah. - This is so fun,
but we've got another tour to lead.
The Belle-Kamps just arrived.
- Oh.
- [laughs] - Go, go, go, go.
- Kelsey, very nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- * Right here, right now *
* It's about to go down *
* It's all la, la, la, la, la, la, la *
* La, la, la, la, la, la, la *
* Right now * - Hey, come on in.
You need me to prop the door open
for Floaty and the guys, or?
- She's not coming.
- What? - [laughs]
- What happened?
- She's obsessed with tennis bracelets now, thank God.
- So we're not doing the-- - No.
- Cool. - But I--
I really liked what you said.
About tattoos telling a story over time.
- All right. - And I think it's time
for me to start telling my story.
- Cool. - [chuckles]
- Take a seat.
I'm all ears. - * Kiss me, baby *
* Just kiss me, baby *
* 'Cause I've got-- * - Thank you.
- [gasps] Double fisting?
- It saves me a trip.
- Yeah, well, let me relieve you of this.
There's a lot of wagging tongues out there.
- Oh.
Well, what are people saying?
- Well, I heard the pathetic little gossips
from "Publisher's Lunch"
betting that you'd lose it again tonight
like you did with Bronwyn Madigan.
- I can handle a little rebranding.
Kay?
- Oh--
oh, I'm not talking about the rebranding.
I'm talking about Zane.
- What about Zane?
- Kelsey, there's press all over this place.
Hasn't anyone told you?
Zane has been named Publisher of Grove/Atlantic.
[dramatic music]
- Publisher?
- Yeah.
* *
- I wish him all the best...
with that. - Mm-hmm.
* *
Excuse me. - Of course.
- Kelsey. - Don't ask me if I'm okay.
I'm gonna scream my head off. - Got it.
Do you want to scream your head off?
* *
[both scream]
* *
[screams continue]
- Okay. Oh, oh!
- Oh, my God. [laughs]
- Okay. - That was the best.
- So unprofessional.
- [laughs]
- I think I need to get one of those.
- No shit. - [laughs]
- [gasps] Wait, what is going on?
Did you guys get lucky with the chocolates?
- Wait, what is she doing here?
- Ooh, yeah. You should check your email.
Charles bought her book.
- [gasps]
- I didn't vote for this. Did you vote for this?
- No, I didn't.
- Okay.
Who's going to edit her effing F book?
* *
Oh, no.
Okay. No way.
* *
Hi, can I talk to you for a sec?
- Oh. That's such a cute dress.
- Thank you.
I practically wrote your ex-wife's book.
I hope you don't expect me to edit
your new girlfriend's book as well.
- What are you talking about?
- She said you're the one who came up
with the second book idea.
When did that happen?
- I ran into her in Chicago.
- Chicago? - Mm-hmm.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because I didn't think that it was a big deal.
- We were still together when you went to Chicago.
- Yeah, I'm not seeing Quinn.
- Really? Because it seems like
something's going on and...
now I know that's why you wanted to split up.
You had a backup plan.
- God, that had nothing to do with Quinn.
- Well, then I guess we have nothing to talk about.
- Yep. - And we can both go back
to our business. - Yep, see you.
- Hey.
I kinda want to get out of here.
- Yeah, me too.
* *
- * I'll say I never wanted to hurt you *
* I was just saving my skin *
* Didn't want to desert you *
- Oh, this is more like it.
- Yeah, I love coming here.
You feel like you're a million miles away.
- There.
* *
So you seemed pretty stressed at the party.
Everything all right?
- I just got out of a really serious relationship.
And it's really hard to work with your ex.
- Which one's your ex? - Charles.
- The guy with the suit? Oh, sorry.
- Thanks. - No, I'm sorry for him.
He has to wear a suit every day.
* *
Why'd you break up?
- He wanted to get married and I didn't.
- Good. Life's too short.
I hit the reef at Teahupo'o once.
Almost died. No, I mean, really.
Cracked my skull open. I had four pieces of coral
embedded in my brain tissue.
They had to chopper me outta there.
After that, I said I'm not doing anything
I don't want to do.
- Well, I never had anything like that happen to me, but...
I got pretty burned by my husband.
Plus the whole domestic thing. It's just...
rough.
It's like you take something wild and alive
and you just ruin it. - Yeah.
Like putting a big, beautiful tiger in a zoo.
- Exactly. - I want to roam the plains
or just chill at the watering hole
if I feel like it.
- Well, I am glad we both ended up
at the same watering hole tonight.
* *
- Hey.
You still wanna be my editor?
- Of course. Yes.
- Good. 'Cause I think
we're gonna be great together.
- * She's always looking for the stars *
* You're giving me *
- It's not so easy for me to get out of my head.
- Well, then you have to do something
to get you into your body.
- I definitely wanna see you again.
- Hey, were you guys doing ear stuff?
- I'm worried we literally just judged a book
by its cover.
- I will see what I can do.
- You're the publisher.
You can do whatever you want.
- What is happening?
- Ladies, this is what in the zone feels like.
- No, no, no! - Come on, what's scarier,
trying something or not trying something?
- Looks like you had a good time.
- I should've teamed up with you.
- Are things really over between you and Charles?
[upbeat music]
* *