1 00:00:00,914 --> 00:00:03,351 But why didn't you tell me you and Josh were back together? 2 00:00:03,376 --> 00:00:05,766 Look, I never thought I'd be talking about kids yet. 3 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,164 He told me he wants to have kids, Maggie. 4 00:00:08,189 --> 00:00:09,906 He needs to stop wasting his time with me. 5 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:11,047 Does Kelsey not know? 6 00:00:11,072 --> 00:00:11,766 Not know what? 7 00:00:11,791 --> 00:00:13,359 I know you're 40. 8 00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:14,921 What story am I going to send him, Liza? 9 00:00:14,946 --> 00:00:16,047 Spend some time together. 10 00:00:16,072 --> 00:00:17,242 I've got everything covered here. 11 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,328 Okay. 12 00:00:18,353 --> 00:00:19,281 Thank you. 13 00:00:19,306 --> 00:00:21,070 Swallow; you're about to get a book deal. 14 00:00:21,095 --> 00:00:22,764 Kelsey, it was either right now, 15 00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,305 or Max would have to pay another month's rent. 16 00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:25,804 You didn't consider me at all. 17 00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:27,391 You could've given me some warning. 18 00:00:27,687 --> 00:00:29,492 I like you 19 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,609 But you're a liar. 20 00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:32,710 And a cheater. 21 00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,445 And whether you realize it or not, 22 00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:37,352 your lies are hurting everyone around you. 23 00:00:37,377 --> 00:00:39,320 Pull yourself together 'cause we got company. 24 00:00:39,336 --> 00:00:40,296 Are you okay? 25 00:00:40,321 --> 00:00:41,297 I'm not 26. 26 00:00:41,322 --> 00:00:42,703 I don't understand. 27 00:00:42,728 --> 00:00:44,484 Then let me explain. 28 00:00:55,309 --> 00:00:58,590 I was alone, on the verge of bankruptcy, 29 00:00:58,615 --> 00:01:00,987 with a daughter in college and a deadbeat husband 30 00:01:01,012 --> 00:01:03,280 who I finally got the guts to throw out the door. 31 00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:05,205 I worked at Random House right out of college 32 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:08,128 for three years before I quit to raise Caitlin, 33 00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:09,996 My mom passed away that year, 34 00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:11,730 and my daughter needed me. 35 00:01:15,588 --> 00:01:17,355 When I was ready to go back to work, 36 00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:20,346 no one would give me a chance... literally nobody. 37 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,753 Maggie had this crazy idea that I lie about my age 38 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:23,832 on my resume. 39 00:01:23,857 --> 00:01:26,639 I was so desperate, I was ready to try anything. 40 00:01:29,058 --> 00:01:31,200 There were so many times that I wanted to tell you, 41 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,418 but then we started Millennial, 42 00:01:32,443 --> 00:01:35,200 and I knew you needed me to be the person 43 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,051 you believed I was. 44 00:01:37,213 --> 00:01:40,074 Sometimes I believed it myself. 45 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,848 I know it was selfish, but the longer it went on, 46 00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:50,074 the harder it became to tell you the truth. 47 00:01:50,842 --> 00:01:53,090 Why even tell me now? 48 00:01:53,115 --> 00:01:54,731 Because I couldn't keep deceiving 49 00:01:54,756 --> 00:01:56,356 the people I love most. 50 00:01:57,524 --> 00:01:59,972 And, Kelsey, next to my own daughter, 51 00:01:59,997 --> 00:02:01,760 and Maggie, 52 00:02:02,225 --> 00:02:04,991 you're the most precious thing in the world to me. 53 00:02:06,152 --> 00:02:07,685 Wow! 54 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,176 I feel like I'm in 55 00:02:09,201 --> 00:02:11,621 an episode of "Black Mirror" or something. 56 00:02:12,926 --> 00:02:15,965 I think that's all I can deal with for one night. 57 00:02:17,598 --> 00:02:19,164 - We can talk more tomorrow. - Yeah. We can keep talking 58 00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:21,090 for as long as you like. 59 00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:23,895 Uh... take my room. 60 00:02:24,371 --> 00:02:25,729 I'll sleep with Maggie. 61 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,152 Thanks. 62 00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:29,513 - Good night. - Night. 63 00:02:29,538 --> 00:02:30,672 Good night. 64 00:02:33,907 --> 00:02:35,191 "Black Mirror"? 65 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,879 Beats me. 66 00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:40,762 Thank you. 67 00:02:49,115 --> 00:02:53,369 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 68 00:02:57,593 --> 00:02:59,314 They'll probably fire me. 69 00:02:59,339 --> 00:03:01,039 I just hope they don't sue me. 70 00:03:01,064 --> 00:03:03,274 You know what? Let 'em try. 71 00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:04,866 It's not like I have anything to lose. 72 00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:06,174 You know, I don't know why you suddenly 73 00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:08,595 feel the need to unburden yourself to everyone, 74 00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,017 starting with Kelsey. 75 00:03:10,042 --> 00:03:12,517 - You're not doing her any favors. - I can't keep lying 76 00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:14,509 to the people I love, even if it means 77 00:03:14,534 --> 00:03:16,228 they're not gonna like me very much anymore. 78 00:03:16,253 --> 00:03:18,875 Sometimes lying to the people you love best 79 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:20,742 is the most loving thing you can do. 80 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,699 You sounds like a twisted fortune cookie. 81 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:25,166 I accept that. 82 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,209 I gotta get Kelsey up for work. 83 00:03:27,234 --> 00:03:28,642 We're gonna be late for the morning meeting. 84 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,266 Mmm. 85 00:03:30,568 --> 00:03:32,806 Kelsey, we should start thinking about 86 00:03:32,831 --> 00:03:34,590 heading to the office. 87 00:03:35,496 --> 00:03:37,259 Kelsey? 88 00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:09,883 - Good morning. - Morning. 89 00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:14,549 _ 90 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:32,637 Oh, good, you're here. 91 00:04:32,662 --> 00:04:35,137 Of course. Where else would I be? 92 00:04:35,162 --> 00:04:37,052 Well, you kinda disappeared last night. 93 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,011 I was worried about you. 94 00:04:39,272 --> 00:04:40,805 What can I help you with? 95 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,497 Kelsey, we have to talk. 96 00:04:42,522 --> 00:04:44,311 I'm not gonna burden you with this secret. 97 00:04:44,336 --> 00:04:46,402 Right now, I'm more concerned 98 00:04:46,427 --> 00:04:48,107 about how this happened. 99 00:04:48,173 --> 00:04:50,348 You bought that stupid labradoodle book 100 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,403 behind my back. 101 00:04:51,428 --> 00:04:52,661 Emily Burns did some digging. 102 00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:54,153 She found out about my real age, 103 00:04:54,178 --> 00:04:56,292 threatened to write a story about me in "EW" 104 00:04:56,317 --> 00:04:58,250 unless we published her book. I begged you 105 00:04:58,275 --> 00:04:59,560 not to buy that book. I know. 106 00:04:59,585 --> 00:05:01,283 I was just trying to protect... 107 00:05:01,308 --> 00:05:03,196 - Yourself. - Oh, I'm so sorry 108 00:05:03,221 --> 00:05:04,689 to interrupt your morning gossip, 109 00:05:04,714 --> 00:05:06,930 but Marylynne Keller, the famous Washington spin doctor, 110 00:05:06,955 --> 00:05:08,431 is waiting for us in the conference room 111 00:05:08,456 --> 00:05:10,180 to pitch her new book. She has to leave in ten minutes 112 00:05:10,205 --> 00:05:13,155 to be on "Hardball" with Chris Matthews, so let's move. 113 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,880 The title of my book... 114 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:17,001 "It's True Because I'm Shouting It: 115 00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:19,707 Confessions of a Washington Spin Doctor." 116 00:05:19,732 --> 00:05:22,126 Because after 20 years behind the scenes 117 00:05:22,151 --> 00:05:23,876 of shaping policy and perception, 118 00:05:24,002 --> 00:05:26,515 I'm ready to take a good, long leak. 119 00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:28,782 I'm ready to take you through the stories 120 00:05:28,807 --> 00:05:31,532 of how I shaped the narrative, from making people believe 121 00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:33,190 that George W. Bush just loved to 122 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:34,981 "clear brush on his ranch" 123 00:05:35,006 --> 00:05:37,385 to the universal perception that Michelle Obama 124 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:39,076 is a down-to-earth fashion plate. 125 00:05:39,225 --> 00:05:41,526 - Well, isn't she? - Well, if you think so, 126 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:42,685 then it must be true. 127 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,938 But how... did that happen? 128 00:05:44,963 --> 00:05:46,635 Because she managed to be 129 00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,058 both down to earth and glamorous? 130 00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:49,415 And who would disagree with you? 131 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,507 Nobody. You say something loud, 132 00:05:51,532 --> 00:05:54,384 you say it often, then when people contradict you, 133 00:05:54,409 --> 00:05:56,277 they sound like defensive babies. 134 00:05:56,302 --> 00:05:58,442 And bottom line: Truth... 135 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,195 is a four-letter word. 136 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,903 Uh, actually, truth is a five-letter word. 137 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,365 Not the way I spell it. 138 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,825 It's important not to confuse the truth 139 00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:10,806 with the facts, and vice versa. 140 00:06:10,831 --> 00:06:13,009 I'm not sure I... see the difference. 141 00:06:13,034 --> 00:06:14,135 Okay. 142 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,494 The reality is a fact is a factotum. 143 00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:17,955 And according to Webster's, 144 00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:20,538 a factotum is a "jack of all trades," 145 00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:23,229 certainly not something to trust or rely on. 146 00:06:23,712 --> 00:06:26,753 Those are two completely different words. 147 00:06:26,778 --> 00:06:28,462 You're a very attractive woman. 148 00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:29,807 And I love that necklace. 149 00:06:29,832 --> 00:06:31,847 And I don't care if you are transgender. 150 00:06:31,872 --> 00:06:34,306 Uh... I'm not, um... 151 00:06:34,331 --> 00:06:36,002 Either way, I don't care. 152 00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:38,189 The fact of your gender identity 153 00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:40,572 - is irrelevant to me. - I'm a woman. 154 00:06:40,597 --> 00:06:42,194 And I applaud that. 155 00:06:43,477 --> 00:06:46,244 Marylynne, thank you so much for meeting with us. 156 00:06:46,269 --> 00:06:48,536 Oh, the pleasure was mine. 157 00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:52,993 - Thank you. So much. - Thank you. 158 00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:54,807 Oh, you're welcome. 159 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,364 Thank you. 160 00:07:00,847 --> 00:07:02,291 Okay. 161 00:07:02,316 --> 00:07:05,361 I, uh, hear the opening offer's 2 million. 162 00:07:05,386 --> 00:07:06,869 Assuming we want it. 163 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,026 It's going to be 164 00:07:08,051 --> 00:07:09,318 a big title for someone. 165 00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:11,767 - Thoughts? - Very enlightening. 166 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,416 You can't be serious! 167 00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:16,369 She is a one-woman reality distortion field! 168 00:07:17,141 --> 00:07:18,875 Liza? 169 00:07:22,119 --> 00:07:26,220 I think truth is more elastic than we can imagine. 170 00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:28,647 But it still has value. 171 00:07:29,168 --> 00:07:31,603 Because without it, there is no trust. 172 00:07:32,499 --> 00:07:34,666 And without trust... 173 00:07:34,691 --> 00:07:36,254 there is no love. 174 00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,197 And that is why I have to confess 175 00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:40,689 something extremely difficult 176 00:07:41,082 --> 00:07:44,816 to a group of people that I have come to love very much... 177 00:07:44,938 --> 00:07:47,853 and to whom I owe so much. 178 00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:51,189 And whose forgiveness I wouldn't have the presumption 179 00:07:51,214 --> 00:07:53,384 - to ask for. - What? What is it? 180 00:07:54,706 --> 00:07:57,111 - I'm not... - Going to marry... Josh. 181 00:07:57,136 --> 00:07:59,744 Josh... he proposed, and... 182 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,596 Liza, I know that this has been 183 00:08:02,621 --> 00:08:05,103 - really hard for you. - Oh, for God's sake. 184 00:08:05,128 --> 00:08:06,603 This is a business meeting! 185 00:08:06,628 --> 00:08:08,933 We do not discuss our personal lives. 186 00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:10,790 I apologize for that, Charles. 187 00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:12,259 - It's fine. - Liza... 188 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,077 - We need to talk. - Uh... 189 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,371 give us a moment first. 190 00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:26,824 Are you crazy? 191 00:08:26,849 --> 00:08:28,949 No. Yes. I don't know anymore. 192 00:08:28,974 --> 00:08:30,620 - Probably. - If you tell people 193 00:08:30,645 --> 00:08:33,046 that you've been lying about your age, 194 00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:35,474 what do you think is going to happen to Millennial? 195 00:08:35,499 --> 00:08:37,597 Our credibility will be destroyed, 196 00:08:37,622 --> 00:08:38,957 and every hater out there 197 00:08:38,982 --> 00:08:41,661 who would just love to see us fail will get their wish. 198 00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:43,339 - So I just keep lying? - No. 199 00:08:43,364 --> 00:08:46,457 You... create your truth. 200 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,261 I Googled you earlier, 201 00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:49,995 and the only thing I could find... 202 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,659 Was this. 203 00:08:54,028 --> 00:08:57,274 A prized pig in Iowa named Liza Miller. 204 00:08:57,299 --> 00:08:58,378 I actually hired someone 205 00:08:58,403 --> 00:09:00,003 to make myself invisible online. 206 00:09:00,028 --> 00:09:01,753 That's where you went wrong. 207 00:09:01,778 --> 00:09:04,836 You are who your last ten search results say you are. 208 00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,505 We need to rewrite your narrative, 209 00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:08,385 create some alternative facts. 210 00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:11,651 Oh, this is so sad. 211 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,417 No Twitter, no Tumblr, no Spotify playlists? 212 00:09:14,442 --> 00:09:16,042 I've always been a very private person. 213 00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:19,041 Um, privacy is just another word for low self-esteem, 214 00:09:19,066 --> 00:09:20,971 okay, Liza? You don't value anything you say or do. 215 00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:22,238 That's why you're still an assistant. 216 00:09:22,263 --> 00:09:24,738 Okay, all right, we're not here to criticize. 217 00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:26,764 We're here to help her... 218 00:09:26,788 --> 00:09:28,980 - shout her truth. - Mm-hmm. Of course. 219 00:09:29,005 --> 00:09:31,652 We need to build your social media profile... that's what I do. 220 00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:33,894 When I first met Hector and Dorff, they thought Instagram 221 00:09:33,919 --> 00:09:35,863 was something that went up your nose, okay? 222 00:09:35,887 --> 00:09:37,878 Three million followers later, well... 223 00:09:37,903 --> 00:09:40,581 We need to give Liza an online identity. 224 00:09:40,606 --> 00:09:42,573 All right? It's important for Millennial 225 00:09:42,598 --> 00:09:44,865 that people have a strong sense of who she is. 226 00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:46,386 Okay. So who do you wanna be? 227 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,870 A bookworm with a slutty streak? 228 00:09:48,896 --> 00:09:51,637 Workaholic hipster? Ooh, I know, I know, I know! 229 00:09:51,661 --> 00:09:53,956 Maybe you're a feisty blonde who doesn't call her friends back. 230 00:09:53,982 --> 00:09:55,035 Wait... No. That's Kelsey. 231 00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:56,689 Lauren, I'm sorry. 232 00:09:56,714 --> 00:09:57,981 I had a rough week. 233 00:09:58,006 --> 00:09:59,174 Oh... 234 00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:01,476 Colin and I broke up. 235 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,602 Oh. Okay, wait... and you were gonna tell me this when? 236 00:10:03,627 --> 00:10:05,128 - Soon. - But you went to cry 237 00:10:05,153 --> 00:10:06,698 - on Liza's shoulder? - Actually, we've been crying 238 00:10:06,724 --> 00:10:08,400 on each other's shoulders. 239 00:10:08,425 --> 00:10:09,878 Josh and I broke up too. 240 00:10:09,903 --> 00:10:12,536 Ah, I see, I see. Okay, uh-huh. 241 00:10:12,561 --> 00:10:14,723 So you've both been bonding over your mutual heartbreak, 242 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:15,972 and you feel like you have nothing in common 243 00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:17,870 with a happy person? So, what... I'm odd woman out? 244 00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:19,582 - No, of course not. - We love you. 245 00:10:19,607 --> 00:10:21,129 You know, it's not like my life is perfect, okay? 246 00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:24,043 Max works ridiculous shifts. He comes home at crazy hours. 247 00:10:24,068 --> 00:10:26,668 There's not even time for sex. 248 00:10:26,824 --> 00:10:28,277 - I'm sorry. - Last night, 249 00:10:28,302 --> 00:10:29,940 I sat on his nocturnal erection 250 00:10:29,965 --> 00:10:31,316 while he was sleeping, okay? 251 00:10:31,341 --> 00:10:33,160 In some cultures, that would be considered rape. 252 00:10:33,185 --> 00:10:35,238 Yeah, pretty much in every culture. 253 00:10:35,832 --> 00:10:37,231 Whoops. 254 00:10:46,835 --> 00:10:48,802 Liza. 255 00:10:49,202 --> 00:10:52,073 I certainly hope that broken engagement 256 00:10:52,098 --> 00:10:54,284 had nothing to do with me. 257 00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:56,268 No. 258 00:10:57,151 --> 00:10:58,668 When we got down to it, 259 00:10:58,693 --> 00:11:00,613 it wasn't what I wanted. 260 00:11:00,637 --> 00:11:03,612 And I'm really focused on work right now. 261 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,894 That's important. 262 00:11:05,919 --> 00:11:07,925 Yeah. 263 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,386 Good night. 264 00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:11,578 Good night. 265 00:11:12,218 --> 00:11:14,549 Uh, L-Liza? 266 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,003 Are you a Hemingway fan? 267 00:11:18,769 --> 00:11:21,103 I, uh, love "The Sun Also Rises"? 268 00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:22,776 Not so much "The Old Man and the Sea," 269 00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:25,834 but "A Moveable Feast"... pretty much my bible in college. 270 00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:28,026 I still have dreams of moving to Paris. 271 00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:29,941 Would you like to join me for something? 272 00:11:29,966 --> 00:11:33,011 I think you might find this interesting. 273 00:11:33,441 --> 00:11:35,509 Okay. 274 00:11:45,675 --> 00:11:47,875 Hemingway's original draft 275 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,907 of "Farewell to Arms"... 276 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,841 With his handwritten notes. 277 00:11:51,908 --> 00:11:53,253 Wow! 278 00:11:53,642 --> 00:11:55,572 And, uh, that is 279 00:11:55,597 --> 00:11:58,087 the original Three Mountains Press edition 280 00:11:58,112 --> 00:11:59,778 of his first collection of short stories... 281 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:02,071 published in Paris in 1924. 282 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,646 "The Moveable Feast" years. 283 00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:05,604 Amazing! 284 00:12:05,704 --> 00:12:07,690 Are you thinking of buying something? 285 00:12:07,715 --> 00:12:09,815 Uh, no, I'm selling. 286 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,667 What? All this belongs to you? 287 00:12:11,692 --> 00:12:15,105 No, my parents. My dad loved Hemingway. 288 00:12:15,130 --> 00:12:16,930 There's actually a picture of the two of them somewhere 289 00:12:16,955 --> 00:12:18,117 together in Sun Valley. 290 00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:21,811 And I wanted to come by and take one last look. 291 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,508 That must be tough. 292 00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:25,366 Uh, not at all. 293 00:12:25,474 --> 00:12:27,540 This is... history, 294 00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:31,796 and I'm... more interested in the future. 295 00:12:34,429 --> 00:12:35,928 Wait... Hemingway wrote love letters 296 00:12:35,953 --> 00:12:37,486 to Marlene Dietrich? 297 00:12:37,511 --> 00:12:40,886 Yeah. That's the 1950s version of sexting. 298 00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:42,300 I never knew they had a thing! 299 00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:44,398 They didn't, exactly, um... 300 00:12:44,423 --> 00:12:46,808 Hemingway once called the two of them 301 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,297 "victims of unsynchronized passion." 302 00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:56,571 Excuse me for one second. 303 00:12:56,596 --> 00:12:58,690 Old friends of my parents. 304 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:10,508 This is the living room. We split the cable bill. 305 00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:12,783 That's the kitchen. There's always Kombucha brewing, 306 00:13:12,808 --> 00:13:14,706 - so help yourself. - Oh! 307 00:13:15,638 --> 00:13:17,681 And the bedroom. 308 00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:19,906 Oh... 309 00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:23,199 - My bedroom? - No. It's a shared bed. 310 00:13:24,878 --> 00:13:27,682 We could... make a pillow wall, if you want. 311 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,755 ♪ I thought I could be something special ♪ 312 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:33,521 ♪ And cozy for you ♪ 313 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,689 ♪ ♪ 314 00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,567 ♪ A set of those diamonds ♪ 315 00:13:38,592 --> 00:13:41,925 ♪ The diamonds that glare as you stare ♪ 316 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,260 ♪ You're so coo coo ♪ 317 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,628 ♪ I'm so coo coo ♪ 318 00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:51,565 - ♪ You're so crazy ♪ - Josh! 319 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,457 Hey! 320 00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:55,816 Hey. I saw you see me. 321 00:13:58,033 --> 00:14:00,887 Look, I'm sorry. I just... 322 00:14:00,912 --> 00:14:02,845 I need to make a clean break from Liza 323 00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:04,565 and her entire world, okay? 324 00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:07,784 I mean, I'm sure you know by now what's going on with us... 325 00:14:07,809 --> 00:14:08,971 Josh. 326 00:14:08,996 --> 00:14:10,362 Yeah. 327 00:14:10,387 --> 00:14:12,588 I know everything. 328 00:14:12,613 --> 00:14:15,127 You know everything? 329 00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:18,440 What do you think you know? 330 00:14:18,465 --> 00:14:21,565 Everything. 331 00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,468 Did you think it was funny, 332 00:14:31,493 --> 00:14:34,267 both of you, just to pretend to be my good friend and be 333 00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:36,635 - just lying to me like that? - No. No! 334 00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:39,755 I wanted to tell you, okay? Lisa wouldn't let me. 335 00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:42,401 God. Who is she? 336 00:14:42,426 --> 00:14:44,705 Like, do I even know her at all? 337 00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:48,601 It's like you know her... and you don't. 338 00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:51,057 I mean, the same thing happened to me, okay? 339 00:14:51,082 --> 00:14:53,271 So what really went on that night? 340 00:14:53,296 --> 00:14:55,322 When you were planning to propose? 341 00:14:55,347 --> 00:14:57,128 No, look, um... 342 00:14:57,153 --> 00:14:58,544 We can be friends. 343 00:14:58,569 --> 00:15:01,469 Don't ask me about that night. 344 00:15:01,494 --> 00:15:04,779 Ever again. 345 00:15:15,504 --> 00:15:18,279 Excuse me. Liza. 346 00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:20,426 Emily Burns is in the conference room. 347 00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:22,496 - What? What is she doing here? - I set it up. 348 00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:23,683 Shit's about to go down. 349 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,215 Excuse me? 350 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,183 Emily, thanks for coming in. 351 00:15:28,208 --> 00:15:30,875 Anytime. I am so excited about my book! 352 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,949 That's what I wanted to discuss with you. 353 00:15:33,172 --> 00:15:34,434 According to Liza, 354 00:15:34,459 --> 00:15:37,247 there was some kind of blackmail involved? 355 00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:39,574 Now, I don't know what it's about, 356 00:15:39,599 --> 00:15:41,899 nor do I care, but I can assure you 357 00:15:41,924 --> 00:15:43,684 that once our lawyers are done with you, 358 00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,487 you won't just be losing a book deal. 359 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,574 - You'll be losing your job. - I can't believe 360 00:15:47,599 --> 00:15:48,871 you're saying this after that nice article 361 00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:50,457 I wrote about you guys in "EW." 362 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,770 That article was mostly about Colin, 363 00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:55,028 - not Millennial. - And thanks to the publicity 364 00:15:55,052 --> 00:15:57,558 the article generated, we're not even publishing his book. 365 00:15:57,584 --> 00:15:59,372 So thanks for nothing. 366 00:15:59,449 --> 00:16:00,949 Oh, if you wanna play dirty, 367 00:16:00,974 --> 00:16:02,754 the stakes are gonna have to go way up. 368 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,159 - What do you want? - Well... 369 00:16:05,184 --> 00:16:07,270 Liza and I would like to be on "EW's" 370 00:16:07,295 --> 00:16:09,315 29 under 29 Media List. 371 00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:11,223 - Both of us? - Absolutely. 372 00:16:11,248 --> 00:16:14,588 Okay. That is crazy. The party is tonight. 373 00:16:14,613 --> 00:16:16,376 That list has been closed for weeks. 374 00:16:16,401 --> 00:16:17,834 Unclose it. 375 00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:21,259 Or we're canceling your book. 376 00:16:22,924 --> 00:16:26,267 I guess you could tie for 29th with Tavi Gevinson. 377 00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:28,292 That would be fine. 378 00:16:28,372 --> 00:16:30,822 You do realize this is a press event. 379 00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:32,588 I just wanna make sure you're both 380 00:16:32,612 --> 00:16:34,291 prepared to be photographed. 381 00:16:34,316 --> 00:16:35,876 Absolutely. 382 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,957 Then see you tonight! 383 00:16:39,287 --> 00:16:41,806 And I hope you bitches know what you're doing. 384 00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:52,517 We really staked out an important niche 385 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:54,306 in the marketplace. 386 00:16:54,459 --> 00:16:57,947 And of course, you can't run a publishing company 387 00:16:57,972 --> 00:17:01,439 called Millennial unless you're a Millennial yourself. 388 00:17:10,674 --> 00:17:12,208 - Kelsey! - Aah! 389 00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:14,337 Oh, my God, Kelsey, you look amazing! 390 00:17:14,362 --> 00:17:16,985 - Oh, thanks. - God, I'm so impressed! 391 00:17:17,011 --> 00:17:18,610 Max has something he wants to say to you. 392 00:17:18,635 --> 00:17:20,736 Uh... we took the bench press out of your room, 393 00:17:20,761 --> 00:17:22,291 - and it's in the hallway now. - Please come back. 394 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,236 Thank you, but no. 395 00:17:24,278 --> 00:17:25,517 It was time for me to move out. 396 00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:26,975 What... Where are you living? 397 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,306 I'll let you know. 398 00:17:28,331 --> 00:17:30,025 Soon. I promise. 399 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,453 No. What's wrong with right now? 400 00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:33,112 Mm-mm. Boundaries. 401 00:17:33,137 --> 00:17:34,754 You wanna think of this as an exercise. 402 00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:37,112 Okay. Okay, fine. 403 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,304 - Never mind. - Mm-hmm. 404 00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:40,029 You look nice. 405 00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:43,396 I've gotten so many offers on the book. 406 00:17:43,421 --> 00:17:44,939 The tracking is incredible. 407 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,458 It already has more preorders than the last "Harry Potter." 408 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,107 How is that possible? You don't have a publisher yet. 409 00:17:50,132 --> 00:17:51,731 Well, I can't do the math for you. 410 00:17:51,756 --> 00:17:55,056 The point is, Empirical's offer was not the best. 411 00:17:55,081 --> 00:17:57,073 But I do feel comfortable with you. 412 00:17:57,098 --> 00:17:59,758 Well, and... we will have a-a great team 413 00:17:59,783 --> 00:18:00,673 working for you. 414 00:18:00,698 --> 00:18:02,353 Did you hear about the rumors on "Politico" 415 00:18:02,378 --> 00:18:04,369 that we're having an affair? It's so weird. 416 00:18:04,393 --> 00:18:06,751 Really? Uh, t-that is strange. 417 00:18:06,776 --> 00:18:08,119 We should just go ahead and do it 418 00:18:08,144 --> 00:18:09,964 and prove the naysayers wrong. 419 00:18:10,805 --> 00:18:13,556 Wouldn't that be... proving them right? 420 00:18:13,581 --> 00:18:15,080 I'm talking about the trolls out there 421 00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:16,455 who are saying it isn't true. 422 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,898 Oh, by the way, according to my Twitter feed, 423 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:21,282 it says that I'm at a conference in Beijing. 424 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,186 So it's the perfect cover. 425 00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:25,775 If you are here, 426 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,095 how are you tweeting from Beijing? 427 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,923 Oh, I have people. It's important to maintain 428 00:18:28,948 --> 00:18:30,267 a Chinese presence. 429 00:18:30,879 --> 00:18:33,279 It would be great if we could, uh... 430 00:18:33,304 --> 00:18:35,767 confine our conversation to the book. 431 00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:37,111 And kissing. 432 00:18:37,557 --> 00:18:39,577 Uh... no. 433 00:18:39,602 --> 00:18:41,328 Oh, I'm hearing yes. 434 00:18:41,607 --> 00:18:44,017 Uh, no, I'm... I'm saying no. 435 00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:46,666 Words. You're just saying words. 436 00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:59,806 Okay, you are an evil genius. 437 00:18:59,831 --> 00:19:02,548 You just got "EW" to put their reputation on the line. 438 00:19:02,573 --> 00:19:05,001 They would rather die than admit they were wrong. 439 00:19:05,026 --> 00:19:06,626 Wrong about what? 440 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:10,589 Nothing. We're all in this together now. 441 00:19:10,614 --> 00:19:14,798 Hey... Isn't that your DILF boss? 442 00:19:15,803 --> 00:19:18,970 Oh, um, excuse me. 443 00:19:18,995 --> 00:19:21,345 - Hey. - Hi. 444 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,228 I thought you had your dinner tonight. 445 00:19:23,253 --> 00:19:27,454 Uh, I did; I wanted to congratulate you on the honor. 446 00:19:27,981 --> 00:19:32,167 Uh, though I feel like I'm the oldest person in the room. 447 00:19:32,192 --> 00:19:34,954 Are you sure I'm allowed to be here if I'm over 29? 448 00:19:36,652 --> 00:19:39,066 Uh, so, did we get the book? 449 00:19:39,091 --> 00:19:42,359 Uh, no, because I don't want to publish it. 450 00:19:42,384 --> 00:19:44,438 - Why not? - I don't want to contribute to 451 00:19:44,463 --> 00:19:48,730 the idea that truth is whatever you're comfortable with. 452 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,720 Even if it means taking a hit to the bottom line. 453 00:19:52,214 --> 00:19:53,679 Right. 454 00:19:53,704 --> 00:19:56,905 Guess I'm just old-fashioned that way. 455 00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,316 Hey, uh, do you mind if I steal her? 456 00:19:58,341 --> 00:19:59,542 "Vulture" has a few questions. 457 00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:02,102 Uh, no, no, go, go. Have fun. 458 00:20:02,127 --> 00:20:03,661 And, Liza... 459 00:20:04,456 --> 00:20:05,870 I'm proud of you. 460 00:20:07,696 --> 00:20:11,085 - Thank you. - Have fun. 461 00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:15,455 Wait, what's wrong? Liza, are you nervous? 462 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:20,011 Uh, no, I'm great. I'm just great. 463 00:20:22,019 --> 00:20:24,807 Ahh! Okay! Oh, my gosh, 464 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,800 this list is being retweeted everywhere. 465 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,886 And your Twitter account is blowing up. 466 00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:32,368 Hello, 1,235 new followers! You're welcome. 467 00:20:32,393 --> 00:20:35,511 Ugh, my phone just died. Will you please call me an Uber? 468 00:20:35,536 --> 00:20:37,820 Dude, no, this is your night. Okay, please, take mine. 469 00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:41,195 Oh, in fact, there's Abdul arriving now in the black SUV. 470 00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:43,335 - Good night. - I'll get us another car. 471 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,554 Oh, hey, Kelsey. 472 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,219 I just... I just want to thank you 473 00:20:48,244 --> 00:20:50,766 for forgiving me and for understanding 474 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:55,963 that I'm still the same person that you've always known. 475 00:20:57,539 --> 00:21:00,718 That in there... was business. 476 00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:02,581 I don't think that I can ever forgive you. 477 00:21:02,606 --> 00:21:04,422 You... 478 00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:06,730 You broke my heart. 479 00:21:13,257 --> 00:21:15,235 Hey, do you know where Kelsey is living? 480 00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:19,280 - Uh, no. Do you? - Mm-mm, no, she won't tell me. 481 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,227 But now that she's in my Uber... 482 00:21:21,252 --> 00:21:22,485 We're about to find out. 483 00:21:38,902 --> 00:21:41,008 Oh, my God. 484 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,128 Hey. 485 00:21:52,391 --> 00:21:53,725 Got these made today. 486 00:21:55,598 --> 00:21:56,682 Welcome, roomie. 487 00:22:08,719 --> 00:22:15,468 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -