1
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,033
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

2
00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:11,133
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

3
00:00:11,133 --> 00:00:15,467
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, la, la

4
00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:17,600
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

5
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,100
* Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah *

6
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,667
Looks like my secret
breakfast spot

7
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,067
isn't so secret
anymore.

8
00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:25,467
- Oh, my God. Hi.
- Hi.

9
00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:27,733
Yeah, I would've never
even known about this place,

10
00:00:27,733 --> 00:00:29,233
except I got off
at the wrong stop

11
00:00:29,233 --> 00:00:31,600
one day on my way
to work and...

12
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,667
Tolstoy before
9:00 a.m.

13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,533
Hasn't anyone told you
about the New York Post?

14
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:36,733
Yeah, uh--

15
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,933
Nah, I skip
all the boring parts

16
00:00:38,933 --> 00:00:40,200
about collective
farming

17
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,433
and go straight
to the soap opera

18
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:43,100
of Anna having
the affair.

19
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,500
It's like Real Housewives
of St. Petersburg...

20
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,633
with dense
Russian prose.

21
00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,133
You know, you should
take a crack

22
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,467
at the slush pile
sometime.

23
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:52,733
The slush pile?

24
00:00:52,733 --> 00:00:55,600
Not Tolstoy,
but you never know.

25
00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:00,200
And if you tell anyone
about the French toast here,

26
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,433
I'm gonna have
to kill you.

27
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:02,700
Don't worry.
I'm--

28
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,800
I'm really good
at keeping a secret.

29
00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:17,167
Hey.

30
00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,367
Morning.

31
00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:20,067
Where's the slush pile?

32
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:23,733
Uh, it's that sad, little
stack of books behind me.

33
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:26,800
That's
the slush pile.

34
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,367
Cash Money Bitch:
Finances Be Trippin'.

35
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:32,267
Wow, this is
all in caps.

36
00:01:32,267 --> 00:01:33,533
"Girl, do you want
to get paid

37
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:36,167
like a basic bitch
or a billionaire bitch?"

38
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,433
Oh, my God.
This is awful.

39
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:39,700
They all are.

40
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,467
Every one is worse
than the last.

41
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,967
All you have to do
is read the first line.

42
00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:48,467
"It turned out Larry's
spirit animal was...

43
00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:49,733
the hedgehog."

44
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:52,400
"As time went by,
I came to realize

45
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,700
Trevor was definitely
incontinent."

46
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:55,900
Oh.

47
00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:57,100
Ew.

48
00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,667
Okay,
and for the win,

49
00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:01,333
by Meredith Montgomery,

50
00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:03,067
The Scarf.

51
00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:06,467
"The severity
often differs,

52
00:02:06,467 --> 00:02:08,433
"even the location
of the wound.

53
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:09,900
"But what's never changed
is the fact

54
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,467
"that he was
a Confederate soldier

55
00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:12,867
"and my grandfather.

56
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:16,267
The boy who saved his life
was a Union bugler."

57
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,367
Bugler.

58
00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:20,567
No, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

59
00:02:20,567 --> 00:02:21,767
This one
isn't that bad.

60
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,300
"He was 12, and he made
a tourniquet

61
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,500
"out of his scarf.

62
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,767
"The Confederate
soldier survived,

63
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:31,400
"and then
five years later,

64
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,100
"he tracked down
the little bugler

65
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,933
and gave it back."

66
00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:36,100
Aw, that's sweet.

67
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,333
Liza, it's not
gonna hold up.

68
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:39,633
You have
a better chance

69
00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:41,733
at matching with
Ryan Gosling on Tinder

70
00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:45,633
than finding a good book
in the slush pile.

71
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,833
The Scarf?

72
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:20,400
Yeah, okay, I know
the title is lame,

73
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,933
but it's really good.

74
00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:25,200
It's about how this
12-year-old Union soldier

75
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,833
uses his scarf to save
a Confederate soldier's life

76
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,067
and how that
act of humanity

77
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:33,367
shapes the identity
of the Union soldier's family

78
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,767
for generations.

79
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:35,967
Wow.

80
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,233
It's good.
You should read it.

81
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,300
Oh, no, I'm not really
that big of a reader.

82
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,533
I mean, I read Japanese manga
every once in a while,

83
00:03:41,533 --> 00:03:43,767
but mainly for the art,
you know?

84
00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:45,867
Oh, I didn't
know that.

85
00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:49,600
I mean, maybe you can
read it to me in bed

86
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,533
after we play dodgeball.

87
00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:56,967
Bam!

88
00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:58,767
The Billburg
Ball Slingers?

89
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,200
Yeah, and I designed
the logo myself.

90
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,967
- Totally.

91
00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:04,700
Hey, what up, Donny?
D-cup!

92
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:06,167
Legend, that one.

93
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:09,067
Oh, he's on the team?
Okay. Okay.

94
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,600
Then I have nothing
to worry about.

95
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,667
Just watch out
for her,

96
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,800
her, and those two
right there.

97
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,133
Yeah, it got super crazy
one night after finals.

98
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,267
You ready?

99
00:04:20,267 --> 00:04:22,733
No, I don't even
know the rules.

100
00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,967
Shh.
Just don't get hit.

101
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:37,233
*

102
00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:42,500
*

103
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,133
Man down.

104
00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:52,100
Over there.

105
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,333
* Shake it, shake it

106
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,467
You're out!

107
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,133
Head down.

108
00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,367
You're out!

109
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,533
I hit you.

110
00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:09,567
*

111
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,067
You're out!

112
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:15,733
*

113
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,067
You know what,
the problem is,

114
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,400
is you never found
your rhythm.

115
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,600
I don't think there was
just one problem, Josh,

116
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,600
unless it was me
agreeing to play.

117
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,833
I totally thought
you'd love it.

118
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,067
I'm sorry.

119
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,433
Also, you look
like you'd be

120
00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:28,067
a lot faster
than you were.

121
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:29,200
There was nowhere
to run!

122
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,567
It was like being
trapped in a cage

123
00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:31,900
with rabid hipsters.

124
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,733
If there's such thing
as artisanal steroids,

125
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,133
I'm pretty sure
they were on them.

126
00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,200
Whoa, where was this fire
out on the court?

127
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,567
Huh? I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.

128
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:42,867
I'm gonna go get something else
for your eye, all right?

129
00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:45,200
- Or we could just go home.

130
00:05:47,767 --> 00:05:50,200
Hey, Josh's new friend.

131
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,233
I'm Jen.

132
00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:52,833
Liza.

133
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:55,133
Ooh, I think that's my bad.
Sorry.

134
00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:57,300
You're like my old camera.
You tap it, and, bam,

135
00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:58,700
the air bags deploy.

136
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:02,067
Tap? Yeah, I actually
think you hit me pretty hard.

137
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:03,567
Eh, maybe.

138
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:05,767
When I first joined the league,
it almost wrecked me--

139
00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:07,200
busted finger,
chipped tooth,

140
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,833
and what turned out
to be gonorrhea.

141
00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,567
Okay, well, it was
really nice talking to you.

142
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:13,967
Yeah, I'd just gotten out
of a seven-year relationship.

143
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:15,800
When you're with a guy
for that long

144
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,633
and you finally
have your freedom,

145
00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:19,767
you make
some bad calls.

146
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:23,400
So anyway, Josh and I
know each other well.

147
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,633
Gonorrhea well?

148
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:26,233
Nah.

149
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:27,833
He's clean.

150
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,900
Have fun with him.
He's gorgeous...

151
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,067
but dumb
as a box of hair.

152
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:40,467
Hey, I got you
some ice.

153
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:44,300
Whoa, or is it ices?

154
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:48,500
What's the plural
of ice, bro?

155
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,600
It's a collective noun.

156
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,233
Hey, I brought you
some ice.

157
00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:55,467
You okay?

158
00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:58,233
Oh--uh, no.
It still smarts--

159
00:06:58,233 --> 00:06:59,567
I mean, hurts.

160
00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:01,700
* Honey,
a heart attack honey *

161
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:04,067
* Enough is enough

162
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:16,100
- Hey. Good morning.
- Morning.

163
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,167
Looks like someone had a little
too much fun last night.

164
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:22,567
- Not exactly.

165
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,833
Oh, my God.
What happened to you?

166
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,500
Dodgeball,
that's what happened.

167
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,133
Why are we still
playing kids' sports?

168
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,800
You shouldn't be allowed
to throw a ball

169
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,467
at someone's face
with adult strength.

170
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:32,767
Come up to my office.

171
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,267
I've got some
pretty heavy-duty stuff

172
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:36,433
for period acne
and covering tattoos.

173
00:07:36,433 --> 00:07:37,933
It should
do the trick.

174
00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:39,633
I also got nailed
in the vagina.

175
00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:47,167
Can I ask you
something?

176
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,167
Yeah.

177
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,433
Do you think
Josh is dumb?

178
00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:51,600
I'm sure he's dumb.
He's a guy.

179
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,500
Josh dropped out
of college.

180
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,800
So did Mark Zuckerberg.

181
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,900
Kelsey, he doesn't read.

182
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,767
Well, if that's
important to you,

183
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:00,267
then that's important.

184
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:01,967
I mean, we all have
our deal breakers.

185
00:08:01,967 --> 00:08:04,067
I finished that book.

186
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,600
It totally held up.

187
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,967
No way.

188
00:08:06,967 --> 00:08:09,467
What happened with
the little bugler's scarf?

189
00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:13,200
Well, it--it becomes
this family legend.

190
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,400
The story of the little bugler

191
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,067
gets passed down
through this family,

192
00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:18,900
like long after
the scarf goes missing.

193
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,133
By the end,
you start to think,

194
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,500
"Maybe there never
was a scarf.

195
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,533
"It was just a way
for this family

196
00:08:24,533 --> 00:08:26,067
to form an identity."

197
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,500
Sounds like
a total mom book.

198
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,967
50 Shades of Grey
was a mom book.

199
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,800
Uh, don't remind me.

200
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,833
My mom kept her copy
in her bath caddy.

201
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:35,267
I'm like, "Mom, I'm glad
you still have a sex drive,

202
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:36,833
"but I don't need
to see the evidence

203
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,733
next to your loofah."

204
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:40,067
I really think
The Scarf

205
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:41,867
has the potential
to be something, Kels.

206
00:08:41,867 --> 00:08:44,567
Well, the only way
that a book like that happens

207
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,067
is on a grassroots level--

208
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,267
blogs,
suburban book clubs--

209
00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:50,433
I thought those book clubs
were only for,

210
00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:52,400
like, you know,
bored housewives.

211
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,967
Those bored housewives,

212
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,267
with their Oprah picks

213
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,767
and their bottomless glasses
of Pinot Grigio,

214
00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,200
drive this business.

215
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,367
If you can get
the housewives,

216
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:03,133
you can make
the best-seller list.

217
00:09:06,533 --> 00:09:07,767
Michelle?

218
00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:09,933
Liza Miller, it is so good
to hear your voice.

219
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,733
Yours too; I've been
thinking about you so much.

220
00:09:12,733 --> 00:09:13,933
Oh, and me you.

221
00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,167
Am I ever gonna see you,

222
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:16,800
or do I have to hope
to run into you again

223
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,933
on a street in Brooklyn?

224
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,400
Actually, I was wondering

225
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,800
if I was still in good standing
as a member of book club

226
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,367
because I have an amazing book
for us to chat about.

227
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:27,067
Well, we're supposed to reread
The Handmaid's Tale,

228
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,867
but it's really just an excuse
to make Margarita Atwoods,

229
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,100
so, yes, of course.

230
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,433
We'd love to read your book,

231
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:34,133
especially if it means
getting you back.

232
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,333
Thank you so much.

233
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,767
I'll email you a PDF
right now.

234
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,467
A what?

235
00:09:38,467 --> 00:09:39,500
Personal call?

236
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,067
Oh, uh, no.
I finished all my w--

237
00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:42,167
Oh, my God, if you have
conjunctivitis,

238
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:43,833
you need to leave.

239
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,700
Once someone in the bullpen
gets that, everyone has it.

240
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:46,800
It's like kennel cough.

241
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,400
No, I--I got this
from dodgeball.

242
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,333
Oh. Cute.
My niece plays dodgeball.

243
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:54,667
She also calls jeans
"hard pants"

244
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,067
because she's six.

245
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,467
Feel free to go home
and slap a patch on that.

246
00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:59,500
No, actually, I'd like to stay
and do some work.

247
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,367
I--I found a book
in the slush pile

248
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:04,933
that I'm kind of
excited about.

249
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:06,500
You're excited
about the slush pile.

250
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,767
Oh, well, perfect.

251
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,133
Then, when you're done
with those,

252
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:11,567
you can read my junk mail.

253
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,333
Do you want to split
an appetizer?

254
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,533
Yeah, uh,
maybe the "geh

255
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:27,733
Actually, it's pronounced
"gnocchi."

256
00:10:27,733 --> 00:10:29,100
What?

257
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,067
Why hasn't anybody
ever told me this?

258
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,533
'Cause you do it
so cute.

259
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:37,067
It's okay; it's like
the most mispronounced food.

260
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:38,967
And I took a little Italian
in college, so...

261
00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,433
Oh, really?

262
00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:43,167
You're fancy
like that, hmm?

263
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:44,767
Do you speak
any other languages?

264
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:46,233
No, I mean,

265
00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:48,900
I took Spanish for a year
in high school, but...

266
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,867
And then after high school,
you just traveled?

267
00:10:51,867 --> 00:10:54,700
Yeah, uh, I guess
I just traveled.

268
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,367
No, I mean,
no college?

269
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:58,000
I mean, in between
Europe and Asia,

270
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,167
I--I went back
to West Virginia

271
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:02,067
for a little bit
and enrolled in some college.

272
00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:04,167
Oh, cool.
What was your major?

273
00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:07,733
Smoking weed.
Yeah.

274
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,067
Unfortunately, I was never
really able to declare it

275
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:12,733
because I only stayed
for a semester, but...

276
00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:14,767
Well, have you ever
thought about going back?

277
00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:17,133
Mm, God, never.
No.

278
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:18,600
Well, that's okay;
I mean, you know,

279
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,867
a lot of people who didn't
get a great education

280
00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:22,700
can self-educate
with books.

281
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:28,267
Wait, so is this--
is this whole

282
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,267
me not reading, like,
actually a problem for you?

283
00:11:30,267 --> 00:11:33,933
No, it's just books
and reading are my life.

284
00:11:33,933 --> 00:11:35,300
I--I work in publishing.

285
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,500
Yeah, and I'm
a visual person.

286
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,167
I get turned on
by what I feel

287
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,367
and what I see,

288
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:45,167
not by just some words.

289
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:49,200
Of course.
That's right--tattoos.

290
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,700
Tattoos.
Tattoos.

291
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,933
Is that all that you think
that I'm about, though?

292
00:11:54,933 --> 00:11:56,367
Of course not.

293
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:59,600
That's good.

294
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,533
You know what?
I--I'm actually--

295
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:03,500
I'm just gonna tell you
some things about me

296
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,967
because I'm not really sure
you've been paying attention.

297
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:11,533
So I am the type of guy
that likes to play bad music

298
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:14,633
with his buddies
at the bar around the corner.

299
00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:18,100
I'm someone who actually enjoys
listening to the J train

300
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,600
as it's rattling
outside my window

301
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,200
because I know that
it's filled

302
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,500
with all kinds
of wonderful people

303
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,067
that are just living
their lives.

304
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,767
I like smoggy sunsets,

305
00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:30,267
I like smoking pot,

306
00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:34,267
and I would much rather
experience the world

307
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:37,733
than read about it
in some book.

308
00:12:37,733 --> 00:12:39,433
Of course.
I know that.

309
00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:41,600
Do you?

310
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,833
'Cause I--'cause I'm not
really sure that you do.

311
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,267
Hey.

312
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,800
- Come on.

313
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,133
All right.

314
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,733
You know what?
Maybe, uh...

315
00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:54,733
Maybe I don't really know
that much about you, either.

316
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:06,267
Hey.

317
00:13:06,267 --> 00:13:08,767
Is there a liquor store
in the area that gift

318
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:10,600
I need a really good
bottle of tequila

319
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,933
that can make a guy
blind drunk

320
00:13:11,933 --> 00:13:13,800
and forget everything
I said to him last night.

321
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,867
Uh-oh.
What happened?

322
00:13:15,867 --> 00:13:17,667
Ugh, I let Josh see
the real me,

323
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:20,433
the self-sabotaging,
40-year-old New Jersey housewife

324
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,767
who couldn't just let
a good thing stay that way.

325
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,067
Wait, you told him
you're 40?

326
00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:26,133
No, but I behaved
that way--

327
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:30,267
critical, judgmental--
like I have any right.

328
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,067
And, Maggie,
he is so wonderful.

329
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:35,700
He's heartfelt
and deep,

330
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:38,067
and I just screwed it
all up.

331
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,667
It's like if I was
really 26

332
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,167
and I could start
all over,

333
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,433
that is the man
I'd be falling in love with.

334
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:46,767
Okay, well,
he's so wonderful,

335
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:48,833
and you're so wonderful,
and--

336
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,233
Wait, did you just
say love?

337
00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:53,100
Only in the most
speculative of terms.

338
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,200
Stop using the fancy words
and tell me how you really feel.

339
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,733
Okay, first of all,
I know this is gonna end,

340
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,100
and it's gonna end badly.

341
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,700
Well, if that's
what you believe,

342
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,533
it's probably why you're
trying to push him away.

343
00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:07,233
You're right.
I guess I was trying to do that.

344
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:09,667
It sounds like
you succeeded.

345
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,067
Spectacularly.

346
00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:23,900
- Hi!
- Hey!

347
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,467
- Hi. Nice to see you.

348
00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:27,433
- You too. Come in, come in.
- Hi!

349
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,867
- Hey, stranger!
- Nice to see you.

350
00:14:29,867 --> 00:14:31,133
- You too.
- Hi.

351
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:32,567
Oh, my God.
Does she hit you?

352
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,500
What

353
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,067
There was a rumor
you went to Brooklyn

354
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,100
to be with that
lesbian friend.

355
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,167
It wasn't me,
but now I get

356
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:42,067
why the setup with Richard
didn't work out,

357
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,833
which is fine;
I'm cool.

358
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:47,067
Oh, I got this from a city
sports league that I joined,

359
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,067
and I moved to Brooklyn
because my friend,

360
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:50,333
who happens to be gay,

361
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,200
is graciously
letting me crash.

362
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,300
Whatever you say.
It's none of our business.

363
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,367
I watch Ellen
every day.

364
00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:01,900
Oh, all right.
Who wants to go first?

365
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,100
Well, I printed
a copy of mine out

366
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,533
and underlined some passages

367
00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:07,300
I thought were
particularly significant.

368
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:08,833
Would that be
a good place to start?

369
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,433
It's great, but, real quick,
I'm just curious.

370
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:13,433
Who liked the book?
Be honest.

371
00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:16,067
- Oh, I--I loved it.
- Loved.

372
00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,267
- Me too.
- It's so good.

373
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:18,633
It's Winter's Bone meets

374
00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:20,300
Sisterhood of
the Traveling Pants.

375
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:21,633
Meets The Alchemist.

376
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,433
I mean, the whole thing
is a parable, right?

377
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:24,833
I agree with Michelle.
Look.

378
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:27,233
I even wrote, "Parable?"
on the cover.

379
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,233
What'd you think, Lori?

380
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:31,467
Oh, honestly, I haven't
read a book since college.

381
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:33,100
I just come here
for the cocktails.

382
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,567
Sometimes she naps.

383
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,400
Well, I think
it's genius.

384
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,367
I tried to look up some
of the author's other work,

385
00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:39,900
but I couldn't
find anything online.

386
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,733
That's because she's
never been published.

387
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,500
- Oh, you're kidding.

388
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,433
She's never been--
how is that possible?

389
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:47,067
I know.
It's hard to believe.

390
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:50,500
An editor friend of mine
discovered her.

391
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:54,067
This friend needs
to get this published.

392
00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:56,767
Yes, she does.

393
00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,133
Thank you guys
so much.

394
00:15:58,133 --> 00:15:59,367
- So good to see you.
- Thank you.

395
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,133
- Drive safely.
- Bye. Okay.

396
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,833
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

397
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,200
Hey.

398
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,267
It was so good
to see you!

399
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,200
It was so good
to see you too, Lori.

400
00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:21,867
You know, sometimes
I fantasize about being...

401
00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:24,333
in Brooklyn.

402
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,633
- Okay.
- Okay. All right.

403
00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:27,100
- I got to go.
- You--you got to go.

404
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,300
- Yeah.
- Okay, so me too.

405
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,500
All right.
Be safe.

406
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:30,700
- Good night. You too.
- Okay.

407
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:31,767
Thank you.

408
00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:33,233
- All right.
- Bye-bye.

409
00:16:33,233 --> 00:16:34,833
Okay, bye.
It's just you're so pretty.

410
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,367
Just don't let anything...

411
00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:39,100
I'm gonna stop talking.
Okay. Who's got my keys?

412
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:47,067
*

413
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:48,533
* I don't want to behave *

414
00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,233
* Don't want to wait
for Saturday *

415
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:53,200
*

416
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,767
* Young and drunk and free

417
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:58,167
* Hey, mister, mister,
dance with me *

418
00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,367
* 'Cause I'm sick of doing
what they tell me *

419
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,967
* Sick and tired
of trying to please *

420
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:05,067
* I'm escapin',
breakin' free *

421
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,433
* With a pocket full of cash

422
00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:10,467
* My dice is swinging
on the dash *

423
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:18,267
*

424
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:20,633
Hey, how'd it go
last night?

425
00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:22,433
It was weird,
but look.

426
00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:24,100
Some of the women
from book club

427
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,767
posted great reviews
of The Scarf on Goodreads.

428
00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:28,233
Oh, my God.
They all loved it.

429
00:17:28,233 --> 00:17:30,833
I know, and now all these
other people on the site

430
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,633
are wondering
how they can find it.

431
00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:34,500
Well, that's a start.

432
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,833
What are you doing now?

433
00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:39,300
I'm telling them
to contact Empirical Press

434
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,933
and demand that we
publish the book.

435
00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:45,067
Hey, what do those housewives
do at book club, anyway?

436
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:47,133
People got drunk,
talked about guys.

437
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,367
One woman kissed me
inappropriately on the mouth.

438
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,800
Oh.

439
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,233
So not that different
than when we all hang out.

440
00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:53,833
Better wine,
bigger living rooms.

441
00:17:56,833 --> 00:18:05,067
*

442
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:13,400
What are you
doing here?

443
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,767
Hey.

444
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,067
Well, I figured,
if I came here,

445
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,833
you know, got a little
beat up again,

446
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,333
maybe you'd
feel sorry for me

447
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,867
and walk me home,

448
00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:25,267
maybe even put
your arm around me.

449
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,633
And then along the way,
I'd say something charming,

450
00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:30,400
and maybe you'd
forgive me.

451
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,267
It's kind of
a stupid plan,

452
00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:38,633
but sometimes,
I'm kind of stupid.

453
00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:40,933
Oh, did--
did you realize

454
00:18:40,933 --> 00:18:42,533
that we have
something in common?

455
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:44,833
That is not
what I meant.

456
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:48,067
I don't think
you're stupid.

457
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:51,567
Okay.

458
00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:54,500
Why is it such a big deal
to you that I don't read?

459
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:59,300
Honestly, I think I was
just looking for a problem.

460
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,567
I just don't want to be
blindsided by one down the road.

461
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:05,900
I feel like I can't trust
how happy I am.

462
00:19:07,633 --> 00:19:08,967
Wow.

463
00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:11,733
Okay.

464
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,300
Do you know what--

465
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:16,200
what my takeaway is
from hearing all that?

466
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,267
That I'm prone
to emotional sabotage

467
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,767
and have some
past relationship baggage?

468
00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,767
No.

469
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:27,600
It's that I'm emotionally
way smarter than you.

470
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,067
And better at dodgeball.

471
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:33,067
So much better
at dodgeball.

472
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:40,067
Good thing you're so cute,
you know that?

473
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,900
Just coast
on them good looks.

474
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,567
So you forgive me?

475
00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:48,067
No. No.

476
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:49,433
Not so fast.

477
00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,833
There's a pop quiz later...

478
00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,300
clothing optional.

479
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,300
- Okay.

480
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:58,833
Okay, come on.

481
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,867
What's up, Jen?

482
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:09,967
*

483
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:11,667
* Mm, mm, mm

484
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,767
I love this area.

485
00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:15,767
It's my favorite
neighborhood.

486
00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:17,367
What's it called?

487
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:19,500
Dumbo.

488
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,967
It's beautiful.

489
00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:26,133
* I'm seeing stars *

490
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,667
* Mm, mm, mm

491
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:31,933
* I'm seeing stars *

492
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:34,167
* Mm, mm

493
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,967
* I'm seeing stars *