1 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,312 I'm gonna get the 900 no matter how long it takes. 2 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,646 I'm just gonna put on a diaper 3 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:13,747 and sit here till tomorrow. 4 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,149 You can't afford diapers. 5 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,550 I never said I was gonna buy one. 6 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,586 Anything could be used as a diaper. 7 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,054 - No, no, it's okay. 8 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,255 I got a big day at work tomorrow. 9 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,023 - Oh, work's for jerks! - Lame! 10 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,059 - It's tomorrow. - Okay. 11 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:31,232 Oh, my God, dudes. This game is so old school. 12 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,833 Listen to that music. 13 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,935 Oh, yeah. Super old school. 14 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,037 Like, middle school. 15 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,908 Yep, just about right-- right around there. 16 00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,910 Hey, I remember when this game came out, man, 17 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,412 I didn't even skate or anything. 18 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,046 I used to skateboard when I was a kid. 19 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,248 I was pretty decent too. 20 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,383 Oh, yeah? I love that. 21 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,385 Just picture you in, like, tube socks 22 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,020 and checkered Vans. 23 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,924 And pigtails like Punky Brewster. 24 00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,627 Like what? 25 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,896 Uh, like-- like a funky rooster. 26 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,601 You're so baked. 27 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,837 Uh! Come on! 28 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,772 You suck. Hey, Liza's turn. 29 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,507 Oh, no, no, it's okay. I don't play video games. 30 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,708 What do you mean? 31 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,877 My parents didn't allow them. 32 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,446 That's, like, child abuse. 33 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,282 I mean, you've played something though, right? 34 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,950 Like, Mario Kart at a friend's house. 35 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,285 No, I haven't. 36 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:25,853 What about, like, Candy Crush? 37 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,555 Sorry. 38 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,923 So you're a video game virgin. 39 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,792 Is that a big deal? 40 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,594 Not if you're Amish. 41 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,028 Look, okay, I don't want to be a bad influence, 42 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,630 so I'm just gonna take your turn. 43 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:37,698 You don't want to get started on this stuff. 44 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,167 No, you're not. 45 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,302 Take this. Here. 46 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,937 It's easy once you get a hang of it. 47 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:44,938 Grab the controller. 48 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,175 Firmly? 49 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,243 Yeah, firmly. 50 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:52,213 This--this button right here 51 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,948 makes you move forward and backward. 52 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,985 I like moving forward and backward. 53 00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,688 And what does this button on the tip do? 54 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,191 What if I touch 55 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,326 just the tip? 56 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,560 Yeah. 57 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:12,400 It's all yours, big guy. 58 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,801 What happened to the door? 59 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,903 Oh, we-- we broke it wrestling. 60 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,405 We're using it as a table. 61 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,039 You should've totally been there. 62 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,441 Next time. 63 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,742 We can't. They're right there. 64 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,577 They're fine. 65 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,213 They won't lift their heads from that game for hours. 66 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,714 It's fine, it's fine. 67 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,749 All right, I think I'm gonna take a rain check. 68 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,083 Or a door check. 69 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,385 Or we could go check the shower. 70 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,621 Mm, you have mushrooms growing on the tub. 71 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,589 It's okay. 72 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,991 I really do have a big day at work tomorrow. 73 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,727 Work is a four-letter word. 74 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,362 So is door. 75 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,537 Bye, boys. 76 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,741 * 77 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,743 We need a new door. 78 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:06,920 * 79 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:09,990 Skinny cap, 80 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:10,991 low foam. 81 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,661 And I got you both 82 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,664 bold control and high lift L'Oréal. 83 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,167 Oh, and Nina from publicity wants to know the exact name 84 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:23,136 of the honor Bjornberg is receiving at the PEN awards. 85 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,406 The Scandinavian Prize. 86 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,576 And does PEN stand for "poets, essayists, and novelists," 87 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,678 or, "playwrights, essayists, and novelist"? 88 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,446 She didn't ask that, did she? 89 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,682 Well, apparently there's some confusion on Wikipedia. 90 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,518 Apparently, publicity is incapable 91 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,086 of doing anything on their own. 92 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,354 Well, I think it's just because 93 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,089 Nina just had eye surgery 94 00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,124 and her cat has a urinary tract infection, so she-- 95 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,927 Liza, this is the most important literary event of the season. 96 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,195 Don't get sidetracked. 97 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,830 I need you to triple-check everything, 98 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,765 especially social media. 99 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,101 I have. All the live tweets you've approved are ready to go. 100 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,869 Did you check Empirical's table placement? 101 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,538 We have two right near the stage. 102 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,940 Good, I want the heavy hitters to see that we have Bjornberg. 103 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,909 Just finished the final edit on Anton's speech, 104 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:02,910 and I emailed it to you. 105 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,111 Is he nervous? 106 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,046 Only about finding the perfect tux, 107 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,981 so I'm going to help him now. 108 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,350 Black tie means black tie. 109 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,385 No color. This isn't the Grammys! 110 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,688 Is transportation set? 111 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,790 Yes, and all the cars have umbrellas in case it rains. 112 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,958 Good. 113 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,593 I need you to make sure Bjornberg 114 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,595 has a place to smoke after the red carpet, 115 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,364 pick up my dress from the dry cleaners. 116 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,799 Oh, Bjornberg's wife is flying in to surprise him, 117 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,635 so take the town car, escort her to the hotel, 118 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,337 and make sure she has everything she needs. 119 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,771 Bjornberg's wife is coming here? 120 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,506 Yes, but, shh, it's a surprise. 121 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,011 Kelsey, can you come and take a look at this? 122 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,881 Yeah. 123 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:41,882 Wow. 124 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:42,916 Wow. 125 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,563 Is everything okay in there? 126 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,366 Uh, yeah. 127 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,769 We, um, are just checking the fit of the--of the pant. 128 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,371 Go, go, go. 129 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,438 Okay, okay, okay. 130 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,444 They're great. We'll take 'em. 131 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,112 Excellent. 132 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,887 His wife is coming? 133 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,389 Yeah, aren't you glad I found out now, 134 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,990 before she just showed up at the awards? 135 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:23,991 Yeah. 136 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,025 Why would she do that? 137 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,527 Because she's his wife, 138 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,796 and she wants to share his life with him? 139 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,399 I guess I never really thought about his wife. 140 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,000 That was the great part. 141 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,402 She's in Sweden. 142 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,203 Yeah, no one ever thinks about the wife. 143 00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,071 All the sacrifices she's made, 144 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,541 all the dinners she's cooked, all the toilets she's cleaned. 145 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,209 If this woman finds out about the affair, 146 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,644 she's gonna be devastated. 147 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,479 Girls in their 20s don't think about that. 148 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,748 "Girls in their 20s"? 149 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,983 You're in your 20s. 150 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,552 Yeah, but I'm very mature. 151 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,421 I spent a lot of years meditating. 152 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,489 I just don't get it. 153 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,190 What's in this for you? 154 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,159 What? Are you kidding me? 155 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,128 He's this brilliant writer 156 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,996 who happens to be amazing in bed. 157 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,832 I'm not gonna pass that up. 158 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:08,168 And by the way, isn't Anton's wife his problem? 159 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,137 Yeah, but who's problem is Thad? 160 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,005 If Thad and I are gonna be together, 161 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,207 I'm probably gonna be happy I had the affair. 162 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,076 I don't want to be one of those women 163 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,446 who wakes up at 40 and realizes she forgot to have a life. 164 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,847 Okay, Kelsey, 165 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:22,349 I'm your friend, but I got to tell you, 166 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:25,085 your adventure with Bjornberg has collateral damage. 167 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,356 And I got to go pick her up at the airport. 168 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,234 Thank you so much for meeting me. 169 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,037 Please, let me treat you to lunch. 170 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,239 I can't. I have to get back to the office. 171 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,542 There's, like, a million errands to do before the awards tonight. 172 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,078 You must take 20 minutes for a bite to eat. 173 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,846 I insist. Come. 174 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,114 Okay. 175 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,585 And the linguini with clam sauce for you. 176 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:58,586 Thank you. 177 00:06:58,686 --> 00:06:59,687 More jasmine iced tea? 178 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,189 Uh, please. 179 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,657 This is heaven. 180 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,159 Well, you assistants-- you take care of everyone. 181 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,562 You deserve to be taken care of once in a while. 182 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,263 Not everyone thinks that way. 183 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,099 Well, I remember very well 184 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,067 what it's like to have these jobs in your 20s. 185 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,171 You're in your 20s, Liza, yes? 186 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,373 Yes, I'm 26. 187 00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,676 You're so lovely. 188 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,179 Your eyes--they're very much like doe eyes. 189 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,915 Has anyone ever said that to you before? 190 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,518 Maybe. 191 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,853 My husband said you've been showing him such hospitality 192 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,522 while he's been here in New York. 193 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:37,390 The whole company is so happy to have him. 194 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,026 My husband-- 195 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,228 he started writing his new novel. 196 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,430 He sends me all the pages. 197 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:44,532 Wow, that's exciting. 198 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,866 Yes, it is. 199 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,300 And, of course, you know that 200 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,402 Anton always writes from his real experiences. 201 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:53,406 And this is about his experiences here in New York. 202 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,042 Would you like me to read you some? 203 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,544 Sure. 204 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,453 I'm so sorry. I don't speak Swedish. 205 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,096 What--what-- what's going on? 206 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,931 Don't pretend you don't know! 207 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,867 He writes about you. 208 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,569 His 26-year-old mistress 209 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,371 who works as an assistant in a publishing house! 210 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:25,706 He wrote about that? 211 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:26,740 So you admit it? 212 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,108 No, no, no-- it's not me. 213 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,577 Oh, it's not you, with the doe eyes? 214 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:34,748 A what? 215 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,751 A vagina as soft as a walrus' fold. 216 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:42,756 You! 217 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,958 You stay away from my husband! 218 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,169 I just had lunch with Bjornberg's wife. 219 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,805 Is she pretty? 220 00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,439 - Not when she's hitting me. 221 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,208 She knows he's having an affair. 222 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,744 She thinks I'm the one he's sleeping with. 223 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,613 What would make her think that? 224 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:06,947 He wrote about it in his new book. 225 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,216 He said his mistress has doe eyes 226 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:11,852 and a vagina as soft as a walrus' fold. 227 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,722 Okay, something must have gotten lost in translation. 228 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,457 Kelsey, this is serious. 229 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,927 I know, I know. 230 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,428 I have to break things off with Anton. 231 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,630 But I can't right now. 232 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,297 The PEN awards are in, like, an hour. 233 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,633 I just don't-- 234 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,235 Oh, here you are. 235 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,737 In an entirely different department 236 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,371 than the one that employs you. 237 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,106 You're supposed to be helping me get ready. 238 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,645 Did you get everything on the list? 239 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:40,447 Yes, I got your fake eyelashes and your SPANX. 240 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:41,649 Shh, shh, shh. Charles. 241 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,784 Hi. Hi, Dana. 242 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,786 And Liza, right? 243 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,220 Right. 244 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,089 Looking forward to the PEN awards tonight? 245 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,992 Yeah, I am looking forward to seeing the Knopf table 246 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,662 applaud our star Bjornberg. 247 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,097 Maybe we can share a town car over. 248 00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,466 I can't. I have to go home and meet the new babysitter. 249 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,435 Oh, I understand. Well, see you there. 250 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,871 Yep. 251 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,774 Is he looking? 252 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,408 He sure is. 253 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,443 No, don't look. You'll ruin the moment. 254 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,085 Did you make sure I was seated next to him? 255 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,086 Weeks ago. 256 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,087 Did you-- 257 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,488 I reconfirmed it today. 258 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,356 I feel sorry for him about the divorce, 259 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,358 but I can't say I'm not thrilled he's on the market. 260 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,526 He does seem nice. 261 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,528 Nice? Are you kidding me? 262 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,031 He's straight, handsome, intellectual, and available. 263 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,766 Do you realize how rare that is? 264 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,835 It's like finding a snow leopard in your backyard. 265 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,937 Oh, come on. It's not that bad. 266 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,372 You have no idea what it's like to be single and in your 40s. 267 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,508 It's like trying to rent out a beautiful apartment 268 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,376 where a murder took place-- everyone's spooked. 269 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,279 I kick myself for all those years I wasted with Philip Roth. 270 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,515 Have I mentioned that I was involved with Philip Roth? 271 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,383 Several times. 272 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,985 I was. 273 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,055 Hey. 274 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,090 I hate being 26. 275 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,558 What happened? 276 00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,893 Should I start with how I had 277 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,729 to pluck a chin hair from my boss' face, 278 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,197 or perhaps you'd like to hear how I was accused of adultery 279 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,934 and whacked with a rolled-up manuscript? 280 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,635 What? 281 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,804 I just don't know if I could go through all this again. 282 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,205 It's so demeaning. 283 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:16,476 All the grunt work and all the lying. 284 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,511 I honestly don't know if I can do this anymore. 285 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,547 Well, you need the money. 286 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,382 And there's perks to being 26, 287 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,185 like, having sex with a hot 26-year-old. 288 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,187 He doesn't even have a door on his bedroom anymore. 289 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,389 Now all we do is play video games. 290 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,391 Need some wine? 291 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,392 Thank you. 292 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,061 Want some parmigiano? 293 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,396 - Prosciutto. - Yes. 294 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,465 And can we put on our sweats and watch Downton Abbey? 295 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,067 Absolutely. 296 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,902 It'll be like having a 40-year-old time-out. 297 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,136 Should I break out the slanket? 298 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,137 I love you. 299 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,540 Mm, getting a call? 300 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,477 - Oh, no. 301 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,379 Hello? 302 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,247 Charles' babysitter didn't show, so I volunteered you. 303 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,049 Uh, I'm already back in Brooklyn. 304 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,285 If only there were some sort of underground train system 305 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,420 that could get you to the upper West side in 30 minutes, 306 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,322 which is when he's expecting you. 307 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,657 Is this already a done deal? 308 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,293 I'm texting you the address right now. 309 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,895 Leave immediately. 310 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,362 What? 311 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,998 I have to go babysit my boss' boss' kids. 312 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:11,999 - Yup. 313 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,801 Back to 26. 314 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,936 Oh, you poor thing. Here, chug that. 315 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,944 Thank you for coming, Liza. 316 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,378 You are really saving the day. 317 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,081 Oh, well, it's no problem. 318 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,383 Hi. I'm Liza. 319 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,353 This is Bianca. That's Nicole. 320 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,388 Say hi. Don't be shy. 321 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,893 I used to babysit a girl who was very shy. 322 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,361 What was her name? 323 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,930 Kaitlyn. 324 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,364 And you know what Kaitlyn loved? 325 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,365 What? 326 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,599 Polly Pockets. 327 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,535 So do I! 328 00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,838 It's too bad we don't have any here that we could play with. 329 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,405 We do! 330 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,041 I have Polly, Lea, Chrissy, Lila, and Shani. 331 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,309 - Come to my playroom! - No, come to my playroom. 332 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,045 What, you have two playrooms? 333 00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,579 And a media room and a library. 334 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,148 - Wow. - Come on! 335 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,116 - Have fun. - You too. 336 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,417 Be good. 337 00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,691 It's so difficult being married to a renowned author. 338 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,862 Women literally throw themselves at Anton. 339 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,030 They think baiting a literary giant 340 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,867 will give meaning to their miserable little lives. 341 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,269 Well, I suppose some of the-- 342 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,872 Those little groupies? They're disgusting. 343 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,374 And you know the women I'm talking about, yes? 344 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,043 Yes, yes, yes. 345 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,579 Yes, I do. Excuse me. 346 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,584 I can't believe you wrote about our affair 347 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,119 and showed your wife. 348 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,955 It was vague. Could be anyone your age. 349 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,157 Oh, anyone in publishing 350 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:47,394 who has doe eyes and a walrus vagina? 351 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,496 What the hell does that even mean? 352 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,598 Have you ever touched a walrus fold? 353 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,167 When would I ever do that? 354 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:57,270 Well, then you cannot understand. 355 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,973 It is the highest compliment in my country. 356 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,913 Oh, no! Oh, no! 357 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,314 The zombies are closing in! 358 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,916 What am I gonna do? 359 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:09,917 Oh, no! Oh-- 360 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,019 Freeze! 361 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,589 I got to text the sheriff. 362 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,635 Okay. 363 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,471 Oh, no! Oh, no! Ow, my brains! 364 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,474 This year's PEN social justice award 365 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,743 goes to Alex Minnick. 366 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,798 Long line at the bar. 367 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,968 Thought I'd bring you another scotch just in case. 368 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,169 Well, thank you. 369 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,104 Oh. 370 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,739 So, how are you holding up? 371 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,575 Oh, you know. 372 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:09,842 Day by day. 373 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,478 Divorce is tough. 374 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,613 Are you divorced? 375 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,015 Yes, yes. 376 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,516 I was married briefly in my 20s. 377 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,518 Everyone kept asking, "What happened?" 378 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,287 Like it's so easy to explain. 379 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,855 Well, it's, uh, easy for me to explain. 380 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,591 My wife left me for another man. 381 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,526 So did my husband. 382 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,864 It's from Liza. 383 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,100 I asked her to check in with me. 384 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,601 Oh... 385 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,369 Brains! 386 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,005 Oh, no! 387 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,707 She is just fantastic with kids. 388 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,042 I love kids too. 389 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:45,012 Some people find them annoying, 390 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,679 but I-I just love them. 391 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,481 Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. 392 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,718 Looks like Bjornberg is up next. 393 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,153 Anton, stop it. 394 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,222 Your wife is right there. 395 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,524 It's brilliant. 396 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,128 No, it's--it's terrible. 397 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,031 Listen, this whole thing-- 398 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,299 I've loved our time together, okay, 399 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,900 but it needs to end. 400 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,902 I mean it. 401 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,110 This is how I feel when you say that. 402 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,111 What are you doing? 403 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,546 I will not agree to this. 404 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,714 Stop. God, you're bleeding. 405 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,616 And this year's PEN Scandinavian prize 406 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,286 goes to Anton Bjornberg. 407 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,688 I refuse to lose you. 408 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,457 Okay, okay. You won't have to. 409 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:31,558 Just go. Go. 410 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,074 I don't think we've officially met. 411 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,176 I'm Kelsey Peters. I'm Anton's editor. 412 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,179 Oh. Nice to meet you, Kelsey. 413 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,314 I'm the one sleeping with your husband. 414 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,582 Excuse me? 415 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,384 It's not Liza. 416 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,419 I am the walrus. 417 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,292 Hello? 418 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:10,830 Are they asleep? 419 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:11,831 Oh, yeah. Hours ago. 420 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:12,832 How was it? 421 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,267 Everything was great. 422 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,604 Except Kelsey Peters left rather abruptly. 423 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,407 Yeah, she texted me. She was sick. 424 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,242 How did everything go here? 425 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,510 Oh, it was great. 426 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,978 You didn't do the windows, did you? 427 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:29,449 Uh, no, that's "monster go away" spray. 428 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,785 Can I offer you a drink? 429 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,788 Sure. I'll have what you're having. 430 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,624 Uh-- 431 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:41,161 Okay. Thank you. 432 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,330 The girls--they were just angels tonight. 433 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:44,931 I am glad to hear that. 434 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,266 Please. 435 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,768 This divorce has been rough on them, 436 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,903 and they can act out. 437 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,672 Well, you must be doing something right. 438 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,674 I don't know, their mother's in California, 439 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,043 and the girls haven't seen her for months. 440 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,212 Yeah, Nicole told me. It's rough. 441 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,914 Yeah, it's a mess. 442 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,650 Mm, it's okay. 443 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,018 Messes make people interesting. 444 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:08,321 They do? 445 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,590 Yes. The messier, the better. 446 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,825 Name any great artist. 447 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,162 Uh, Beethoven. 448 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,029 Alcoholic father. 449 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,065 Kurt Vonnegut. 450 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,702 Searching. Okay, keep going. 451 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:23,836 Jonathan Franzen. 452 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,805 Oh, messy divorce. 453 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:26,806 Woody Allen. 454 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,175 Please. 455 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:33,180 Vonnegut-- mom committed suicide. Boom. 456 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,849 So now we're taking pleasure in other peoples' misery? 457 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,186 No, we're taking solace in other peoples' misery, 458 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:43,456 and we should do it frequently in order to maintain our sanity. 459 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,458 You sure you're 26? 460 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,567 Oh, a friend's walking me home. 461 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,670 Oh, I was gonna call you a car, but that's good. 462 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,872 So I'll--I'll see you at the office? 463 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:00,973 Yeah. 464 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,476 Maybe you can babysit again. 465 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:07,380 Yeah, just let me know. 466 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,981 Yeah, you don't want me to keep you here 467 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,983 when you have a young man waiting. 468 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,520 Well, how do you know it's a young man? 469 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,257 Isn't it? 470 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:22,128 Uh, yeah, it is. 471 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,600 Okay. Sorry. Good night. 472 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,602 Good night. 473 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,073 Wait. 474 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,643 I, uh, 475 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,246 forgot to, uh, pay you. 476 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,817 Thank you. 477 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,553 Thank you. 478 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,355 I'll see you at work. 479 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,257 You got it. 480 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,393 Good night. 481 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,403 You didn't have to come get me. 482 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,338 Hi. 483 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:09,842 But then I would've had to wait so long to give you this. 484 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:10,843 What? 485 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:11,844 What? 486 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,179 Come on. 487 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,881 You said you were badass, right? 488 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,516 Yeah, when I was 17. 489 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:17,950 Well, that wasn't that long ago. 490 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,919 Uh, yeah, it is. 491 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,288 Come on. 492 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,723 Let's give it a go. 493 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,725 - Yeah. 494 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:28,295 - Yes. 495 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,463 Okay. 496 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,499 Whoo-hoo! 497 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:38,338 Oh, snap.