1 00:00:04,318 --> 00:00:05,659 Oh. 2 00:00:05,725 --> 00:00:06,881 Uh, good morning. 3 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:08,568 Good morning, Liza. This is Beth. 4 00:00:08,637 --> 00:00:10,698 Hi! It's so nice to meet you, Beth. 5 00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:13,625 Likewise. I finally get to meet the roommate. 6 00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:14,810 Yoga at 10:00? 7 00:00:14,835 --> 00:00:16,136 - Yeah. - Okay. 8 00:00:16,291 --> 00:00:18,712 - Bye. - Mm. 9 00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:20,548 Uh, is that the vagina counselor? 10 00:00:20,573 --> 00:00:22,754 Yes. We just finished a session. 11 00:00:22,947 --> 00:00:24,633 Ugh. 12 00:00:25,071 --> 00:00:26,652 And now you're doing yoga. 13 00:00:26,677 --> 00:00:28,529 Wow. I don't even know you anymore. 14 00:00:28,592 --> 00:00:30,215 Oh, we hardly ever see each other, 15 00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,821 I mean, now that we're all boo'd up. 16 00:00:31,846 --> 00:00:33,880 We should have a little double date... 17 00:00:33,905 --> 00:00:35,303 me and Beth, you and Charles. 18 00:00:35,328 --> 00:00:36,405 Yeah, I just... 19 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:37,694 I promise not to call him Chaz. 20 00:00:37,719 --> 00:00:39,898 No, it's not that. It's just... 21 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,860 I'm worried that he... 22 00:00:41,913 --> 00:00:44,535 He might be secretly funding a new company. 23 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,842 - Chaz? - I know it sounds crazy. 24 00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:49,552 It's just, there are a lot, like, of odd coincidences. 25 00:00:49,577 --> 00:00:50,953 Like, he recently took out 26 00:00:50,978 --> 00:00:52,698 a huge mortgage on his town house. 27 00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:53,960 Well, he's going through a divorce. 28 00:00:53,985 --> 00:00:55,205 He probably needs the cash. 29 00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:57,059 - I know. You're right. - Yeah. 30 00:00:57,084 --> 00:00:59,078 But I... also, I saw him meeting with Zane. 31 00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:00,975 - Mm-hmm. - And now this new publishing company 32 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,082 with Zane in charge buys a book 33 00:01:03,107 --> 00:01:04,647 right out from under Millennial. 34 00:01:04,843 --> 00:01:06,889 Eh. Sounds random. 35 00:01:07,013 --> 00:01:08,474 But if you're looking for trouble, 36 00:01:08,499 --> 00:01:09,998 you're probably going to find it. 37 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,433 Okay. Marketing. 38 00:01:16,488 --> 00:01:19,061 I was allotting a certain budget for Audrey Colbert's advance, 39 00:01:19,086 --> 00:01:20,794 but now that we don't have that anymore, 40 00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:21,904 what do we have to promote? 41 00:01:21,929 --> 00:01:25,359 Bronwyn Madigan just finished the final pass on her new book. 42 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,547 "The Seasoned Slut"? Really? 43 00:01:27,572 --> 00:01:29,593 Well, I mean, the main character's a chef 44 00:01:29,729 --> 00:01:32,350 and also older... and a slut. 45 00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:33,766 - Oh. - There's a great recipe 46 00:01:33,791 --> 00:01:35,130 for meatloaf in the back. 47 00:01:35,155 --> 00:01:36,732 It's erotica for baby boomers. 48 00:01:36,892 --> 00:01:38,393 Her books did well for Empirical. 49 00:01:38,447 --> 00:01:41,232 Maybe Millennial makes a bigger push to show 50 00:01:41,257 --> 00:01:43,864 that a female-run company supports our female authors. 51 00:01:44,251 --> 00:01:46,581 Okay, let's just make sure that she re-ups her contract. 52 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,921 As the boss, I suggest you make that happen. 53 00:01:48,946 --> 00:01:52,404 She's a cash cow, and... Millennial could use the milk. 54 00:01:52,903 --> 00:01:54,556 Did you have to say that? 55 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,122 I did. 56 00:01:59,927 --> 00:02:01,547 Look at this. 57 00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:04,170 He always looks like a dog that just ate your pizza. 58 00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:06,036 We need to make sure that we have the funds in place 59 00:02:06,061 --> 00:02:08,200 to compete with him and whoever's backing this. 60 00:02:08,225 --> 00:02:10,067 Do you think that it could be, like, 61 00:02:10,092 --> 00:02:11,872 one really rich person? 62 00:02:11,913 --> 00:02:13,573 No way. 63 00:02:13,915 --> 00:02:15,685 I found out that Mercury has offices 64 00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,435 in the Financial District. 65 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:19,732 It's got to the some deep-pocketed media company 66 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:22,166 who has the resources to play in publishing. 67 00:02:22,191 --> 00:02:23,531 Yeah, that sounds right. 68 00:02:23,556 --> 00:02:25,496 I'm going to lunch, and on my way, 69 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,724 I'm going to pay Zane a little surprise visit 70 00:02:27,749 --> 00:02:30,416 and find out how big of a problem he's actually gonna be. 71 00:03:03,977 --> 00:03:05,751 What is this? 72 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,501 Welcome to Mercury. 73 00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:11,000 This is a community workspace. 74 00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:13,331 This is where you go if you're starting a taco pop-up. 75 00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:15,581 This is the future of business. 76 00:03:15,606 --> 00:03:17,698 There's no overhead, and I take all my meetings 77 00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:18,995 at Suffolk House. 78 00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,841 Is that how you got Audrey Colbert? 79 00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:23,074 A nice breakfast and a big check? 80 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,300 Oh, money isn't everything. Sometimes it's about charm. 81 00:03:26,325 --> 00:03:28,862 So you slept with her? 82 00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,611 God, that is completely unethical... 83 00:03:31,636 --> 00:03:32,856 and so creepy. 84 00:03:32,881 --> 00:03:34,403 Oh, but it's fine when you do it? 85 00:03:34,454 --> 00:03:38,115 I've only slept with my authors after they signed. 86 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,115 - Mm. - Is that what this is about? 87 00:03:40,182 --> 00:03:41,763 You getting back at me? 88 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,981 You went after Audrey because you knew I was. 89 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,894 You lost the book, Peters. Suck it up, all right? 90 00:03:45,919 --> 00:03:47,024 There will be others... 91 00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:49,778 oh, if they don't all get snatched up by me first. 92 00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:52,298 This isn't cute, Zane. 93 00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,908 That book was important to me, and you know it. 94 00:03:55,179 --> 00:03:57,403 You could've been up front, but you played me. 95 00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:07,926 Listen, you are energetically inflamed, all right? 96 00:04:07,951 --> 00:04:11,565 Your aura is like a cartoon bird that just ate a pepper. 97 00:04:12,176 --> 00:04:13,756 I am stressed, okay? 98 00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:16,856 And my quick, easy way to de-stress was Zane, 99 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,590 and I hate him now. 100 00:04:18,922 --> 00:04:22,062 Okay, okay, let's, um... let's redirect some of that heat 101 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:23,994 before I have to take one for the team, all right? 102 00:04:24,019 --> 00:04:25,044 Pull up your apps, Kels. 103 00:04:25,069 --> 00:04:26,209 We can find you 104 00:04:26,234 --> 00:04:27,864 some no-strings-attached love tonight. 105 00:04:27,889 --> 00:04:29,686 Okay, well, it's going to take a second 106 00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:31,553 because I just added them back on the train. 107 00:04:31,578 --> 00:04:33,922 Um, that is not how dating apps work, babe. 108 00:04:34,058 --> 00:04:35,869 Yeah, you... your profile doesn't come down 109 00:04:35,894 --> 00:04:37,358 just because you delete the app off your phone. 110 00:04:37,383 --> 00:04:38,924 The bait has been in the water. 111 00:04:39,629 --> 00:04:41,450 Then how come I don't have any bites? 112 00:04:41,534 --> 00:04:43,173 I don't know. Give. 113 00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:46,139 Oh, Kelsey, no, no, no. 114 00:04:46,164 --> 00:04:48,686 This says that you're Publisher of Millennial Print. 115 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:52,107 Yeah. That is my job. 116 00:04:52,132 --> 00:04:55,225 Yes. And it is a great job, and I am in constant awe 117 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,755 of your accomplishments, but this kind of overachieving 118 00:04:57,780 --> 00:04:59,476 only works if you're trying to pick up women, all right? 119 00:04:59,501 --> 00:05:01,682 Men don't want to deal with your big-dick energy. 120 00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,291 Oh, my God. Okay. 121 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,201 I don't have that energy, and you're shouting. 122 00:05:05,226 --> 00:05:07,553 You have BDE, Kelsey. You do. 123 00:05:07,578 --> 00:05:08,918 I mean, you are basically wielding 124 00:05:08,961 --> 00:05:10,536 a giant psychic schlong. 125 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,155 I almost got us a three-top. 126 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,788 I don't have big-dick energy, okay? 127 00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:16,853 There's just something wrong with my app. 128 00:05:16,878 --> 00:05:17,975 Yes, okay, and I will show you. 129 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,510 I'll show you what is wrong with your apps. 130 00:05:24,919 --> 00:05:26,692 What is a creative director? 131 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:29,102 No one knows, okay? And no one cares. 132 00:05:29,565 --> 00:05:31,706 Oh! 133 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,152 What was that? 134 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,101 Did someone get a ding? 135 00:05:41,282 --> 00:05:42,553 Liza! 136 00:05:42,578 --> 00:05:44,899 I just got off the phone with a rep from MetroCycle. 137 00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:48,124 I pitched them the idea of putting erotica on the kiosks. 138 00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:50,210 - Bronwyn's? - No, my own. 139 00:05:50,235 --> 00:05:51,639 Yes, Bronwyn's! 140 00:05:51,664 --> 00:05:53,621 We are working out a deal where excerpts from her book appear 141 00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:55,370 on every kiosk from April to June... 142 00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:57,092 a sign that spring has sprung. 143 00:05:57,131 --> 00:05:59,422 Oh, we could call the campaign 144 00:05:59,447 --> 00:06:01,342 "Get On and Get Off." 145 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,074 That's disgusting. 146 00:06:03,214 --> 00:06:04,607 Maybe. 147 00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:06,170 Call Bronwyn, give her the headline, 148 00:06:06,195 --> 00:06:07,960 see if that spurs her on to sign the contract. 149 00:06:13,763 --> 00:06:15,488 - Hi. - Thanks for helping out. 150 00:06:15,513 --> 00:06:17,814 Yeah, of course. Hi, baby girl. How are you? 151 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:19,990 - Oh, yeah. - I have to crash this program. 152 00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:22,145 - Okay. - It's only gonna take 153 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,467 a couple of days. 154 00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:25,335 I pumped. 155 00:06:25,443 --> 00:06:27,717 Put half in the fridge, half in the freezer. 156 00:06:27,742 --> 00:06:29,139 All right. 157 00:06:29,185 --> 00:06:31,014 Oh, hey, hey. 158 00:06:31,105 --> 00:06:33,366 Hey, what's going on, baby girl? 159 00:06:33,396 --> 00:06:35,937 - She's probably just hungry. - We okay? 160 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,209 She's hungry all the time. 161 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,279 Okay. 162 00:06:39,304 --> 00:06:40,844 Ooh. 163 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:42,778 Here we go. 164 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:46,100 Okay. 165 00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:50,024 Oh. 166 00:06:50,413 --> 00:06:52,428 - Ow. - Ow? What? 167 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:55,334 - Oh, nothing. It's fine. - That doesn't sound fine. 168 00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,189 - What can I do to help? - Uh... 169 00:06:57,432 --> 00:06:58,670 What's happening? 170 00:06:58,695 --> 00:07:01,522 Ah, I think I just have a clogged duct. 171 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,154 It's fine. Ah! 172 00:07:03,452 --> 00:07:06,153 Oh. 173 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,495 I'm so sorry. 174 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,186 I guess it's unclogged. 175 00:07:14,007 --> 00:07:18,029 I don't know, something natural, easy, a little sexy. 176 00:07:18,058 --> 00:07:19,199 Of course. 177 00:07:19,224 --> 00:07:21,483 - You going out tonight? - Yes. 178 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,764 Tonight I'm practicing a little self-care 179 00:07:23,789 --> 00:07:25,153 with someone else. 180 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,545 Okay! 181 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:30,261 Well, one tip for keeping this blowout fresh... no missionary. 182 00:07:30,328 --> 00:07:32,232 Oh, no problem. 183 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,038 I like you. 184 00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,454 My roommate says I need to tone it down. 185 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:39,428 - She claims I have BDE. - Big-dick energy? 186 00:07:39,453 --> 00:07:41,694 - According to her. - Uh-oh. 187 00:07:41,719 --> 00:07:44,529 Yeah. Uh, apparently it's a turn-off if you're a woman... 188 00:07:44,575 --> 00:07:46,256 Did you know you had a patch? 189 00:07:46,311 --> 00:07:50,643 - What's that? - You've lost some hair here. 190 00:07:52,211 --> 00:07:54,613 Oh, my God. 191 00:07:54,779 --> 00:07:57,113 I don't have big-dick energy. 192 00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:00,768 I have bald-dude energy! Aah! 193 00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:08,702 Hey. 194 00:08:08,727 --> 00:08:10,758 - Does this hat look ridiculous? - Shh! 195 00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:12,028 I've tried putting my hair up. 196 00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:13,377 I've tried putting a bandanna on. 197 00:08:13,402 --> 00:08:15,010 Kelsey, Kelsey, I really don't want to hear 198 00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:16,211 about your bad hair day, okay? 199 00:08:16,236 --> 00:08:18,492 I-I have been up all night with a crying baby. 200 00:08:18,524 --> 00:08:19,750 Why? I don't know. I don't know. 201 00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:20,969 Because the rest of you either don't have ears 202 00:08:20,994 --> 00:08:22,234 or you don't have souls. 203 00:08:22,259 --> 00:08:24,672 It is not a bad hair day, Lauren. 204 00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:27,653 - My hair's falling out! - Okay, well, animals shed. 205 00:08:27,678 --> 00:08:29,138 You're just blowin' coat. It's normal. 206 00:08:29,199 --> 00:08:30,555 I am not a sheltie! 207 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:33,766 I've lost four clumps of hair since last night. Four! 208 00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:36,692 I'm going to the doctor to see if he can put them back in! 209 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,195 Oh, my God! 210 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,696 What happened? 211 00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,379 What happened? Did she wake up? 212 00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:43,639 No, Josh. You are the only one who just woke up, okay? 213 00:08:43,664 --> 00:08:46,245 I mean, get it together, man! Kelsey doesn't need this! 214 00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:47,889 She's got a bag full of hair! 215 00:08:59,945 --> 00:09:01,805 Kelsey. 216 00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:03,985 Bronwyn Madigan is coming in today, 217 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,230 and we need to put on a show, 218 00:09:05,255 --> 00:09:06,991 which you can be the ringleader of 219 00:09:07,016 --> 00:09:09,349 since you're wearing a top hat? 220 00:09:09,851 --> 00:09:12,279 - What's going on? - She won't sign her contract. 221 00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:14,435 I thinks she just needs some face time with the new boss. 222 00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,983 Make sure she's in good hands. 223 00:09:16,008 --> 00:09:17,989 So I'd re-think the Sorting Hat. 224 00:09:18,199 --> 00:09:20,237 Some of my hair... 225 00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:22,237 has recently gone. 226 00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:24,928 The doctor says that it's alopecia. 227 00:09:24,953 --> 00:09:26,631 Oh, my God! Are you okay? 228 00:09:26,656 --> 00:09:28,917 I had alopecia... not on my head. 229 00:09:29,228 --> 00:09:31,209 I've also had stress-induced dermatitis, 230 00:09:31,234 --> 00:09:32,178 three bulging disks, 231 00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:34,857 and something quaintly referred to as "nutcracker's esophagus." 232 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,887 Oh, and every April I get shingles, 233 00:09:36,912 --> 00:09:38,318 right up the side of my rib cage. 234 00:09:38,343 --> 00:09:39,930 It's like wearing an electric tube top 235 00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,296 one month out of the year. 236 00:09:41,425 --> 00:09:43,046 That's not making me feel better. 237 00:09:43,071 --> 00:09:44,818 It's making me feel better. 238 00:09:44,947 --> 00:09:48,008 Look, eventually the pendulum swings the other way. 239 00:09:48,264 --> 00:09:50,179 In the meantime, just... 240 00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,429 hang in there. 241 00:09:56,404 --> 00:09:58,505 Can I take anything off your plate? 242 00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:01,248 Just keep an eye out, okay? 243 00:10:01,273 --> 00:10:02,583 Okay. 244 00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:09,625 MetroCycle has 62,000 riders a day, 245 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,630 which guarantees at least that many 246 00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:13,395 the chance to marinate in your words 247 00:10:13,465 --> 00:10:15,926 as they get on and get off. 248 00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,875 Gross. 249 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,320 I agree. It's... 250 00:10:19,391 --> 00:10:22,179 You know, it's a great marketing opportunity. 251 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,497 And it's perfect for the release of "The Seasoned Slut." 252 00:10:24,522 --> 00:10:25,863 It's not my demo. 253 00:10:26,072 --> 00:10:28,573 Women my age don't ride MetroCycle. 254 00:10:28,598 --> 00:10:30,005 I'm not so sure about that. 255 00:10:30,119 --> 00:10:32,099 Do you ride MetroCycle? 256 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,741 Funny story, I... 257 00:10:34,154 --> 00:10:36,067 Am I your demographic? 258 00:10:36,356 --> 00:10:38,890 We want to introduce new readers to your books. 259 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:41,537 I'm good. New readers can find me in the Twittersphere. 260 00:10:41,562 --> 00:10:43,303 I'm a big tweeter. 261 00:10:43,412 --> 00:10:47,169 I don't want to sign with a company called Millennial 262 00:10:47,194 --> 00:10:49,495 and have my voice reimagined for a new audience. 263 00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:51,509 Oh, Bronwyn. I promise you, 264 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:54,160 we don't want to chance your voice or your books. 265 00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:56,669 You say that now, but I've been around the block. 266 00:10:56,694 --> 00:11:00,002 When you sign a contract, you sign your rights away. 267 00:11:00,078 --> 00:11:01,633 I'm not going to re-up, ladies. 268 00:11:01,658 --> 00:11:03,839 I just thought I owed you the face-to-face. 269 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,001 You've built your entire career here. 270 00:11:06,073 --> 00:11:08,752 No, I built my career at Empirical... 271 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,002 where I met you as an assistant. 272 00:11:11,135 --> 00:11:13,205 So your problem is with me? 273 00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,851 No, my problem is with the lack of value 274 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,638 placed on experience. 275 00:11:17,746 --> 00:11:19,727 Where's the gray hair in the room? 276 00:11:19,953 --> 00:11:23,317 I write erotic fiction for women of a certain age. 277 00:11:23,703 --> 00:11:25,164 Yeah... 278 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:28,044 I bet any man would let the two of you blow him. 279 00:11:28,069 --> 00:11:29,138 "Let"? 280 00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:31,701 Women my age have to work hard for that BJ, 281 00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,547 and we are better at it. 282 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:35,771 Am I right? 283 00:11:36,785 --> 00:11:39,046 Do people think I'm her age? 284 00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:50,367 Maggie. 285 00:11:50,392 --> 00:11:52,067 Oh, hey! 286 00:11:52,092 --> 00:11:53,435 I came all the way to Greenpoint 287 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,029 so that I wouldn't run into anybody. 288 00:11:55,054 --> 00:11:56,302 Yeah, me too. 289 00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:57,893 I'm balding. 290 00:11:57,969 --> 00:11:59,510 Yeah. 291 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,140 I think it's work-related. I don't know. 292 00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:03,763 Well, itching and burning over here. 293 00:12:03,802 --> 00:12:05,462 You know, this new woman I'm seeing, Beth... 294 00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:07,417 she's got me doing so much hot yoga 295 00:12:07,442 --> 00:12:09,256 that my cooch finally had enough. 296 00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:11,001 There's a cure for that. 297 00:12:11,026 --> 00:12:12,996 The grass is always greener. 298 00:12:13,391 --> 00:12:15,245 Hey, why don't you come over for a drink 299 00:12:15,314 --> 00:12:16,873 and a home-cooked meal? 300 00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:18,680 You can meet Beth. I mean, she's a naturopath. 301 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:22,167 Maybe she's got, you know, a cure for your situation. 302 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:24,681 Why don't you talk to her about your situation? 303 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,809 Well, the key to a good lesbian relationship 304 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,496 is never tell each other about your yeast infections. 305 00:12:30,521 --> 00:12:31,781 - Hmm. - Yeah. 306 00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:41,628 So I'm supposed to just not stress 307 00:12:41,653 --> 00:12:43,114 while my hair is falling out? 308 00:12:43,139 --> 00:12:44,520 No, you're supposed to try 309 00:12:44,545 --> 00:12:46,646 to remember that everything is temporary. 310 00:12:46,671 --> 00:12:49,121 Oh, that's nice to hear from the woman that you're dating. 311 00:12:49,146 --> 00:12:50,240 Hey! 312 00:12:50,265 --> 00:12:52,663 Hi, we come bearing Blackout cake. 313 00:12:52,698 --> 00:12:55,554 - Hey! - Kelsey, good to see you. 314 00:12:55,579 --> 00:12:56,810 Just don't look too close. 315 00:12:56,835 --> 00:12:58,961 Hey, Charles. Liza. 316 00:12:59,015 --> 00:13:00,460 Hey. 317 00:13:00,965 --> 00:13:03,209 I saw the prescription in the bathroom. 318 00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:04,818 Oh, God. Can you pretend that you didn't? 319 00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:05,786 No, it's fine. 320 00:13:05,811 --> 00:13:07,693 It's just that that shit's loaded with chemicals, 321 00:13:07,718 --> 00:13:10,137 and you should really try a natural antifungal. 322 00:13:10,162 --> 00:13:11,503 Like what? 323 00:13:11,528 --> 00:13:12,974 - Boop. - Garlic? 324 00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,059 Yes. 325 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,637 Mm-hmm. 326 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,637 - Wait, what are you doing? - Trust me. 327 00:13:21,584 --> 00:13:23,738 Breathe. 328 00:13:23,763 --> 00:13:25,988 - Oh, my God, you're crazy. - Shh. 329 00:13:27,296 --> 00:13:30,237 It's... it's tingling. 330 00:13:30,262 --> 00:13:33,070 It's doing the job already. 331 00:13:33,496 --> 00:13:34,997 Okay. 332 00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:41,834 Here you go. 333 00:13:41,859 --> 00:13:45,120 Mmm. Maggie, this looks so good! 334 00:13:45,145 --> 00:13:46,966 Mmm. It does. 335 00:13:47,058 --> 00:13:48,799 Is there garlic bread on the menu tonight? 336 00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:50,763 - Oh, no. - Really? 337 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,927 - 'Cause I'm totally smelling it. - Yeah. 338 00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:54,857 Well, there's no bread. 339 00:13:54,882 --> 00:13:56,936 You don't serve bread with polenta. 340 00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:01,779 Did you tell Charles about Bronwyn Madigan? 341 00:14:01,804 --> 00:14:03,286 - Uh, not yet. - Wait a minute. 342 00:14:03,311 --> 00:14:05,818 Is that the woman that writes those horny senior novels? 343 00:14:06,015 --> 00:14:07,515 Is she one of your authors? 344 00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:08,701 She was. 345 00:14:08,726 --> 00:14:10,727 She left because we're too young 346 00:14:10,752 --> 00:14:13,224 to understand how to publish her books. 347 00:14:13,779 --> 00:14:15,600 You can't win. 348 00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:17,779 Don't be too young, but don't be too old, 349 00:14:17,804 --> 00:14:20,490 and work hard, but don't stress. 350 00:14:20,515 --> 00:14:23,679 Well, the new person always has the hard job 351 00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:25,670 of proving themselves to the old guard. 352 00:14:25,695 --> 00:14:27,672 - Hmm. - You'll be fine. 353 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:35,099 It's as if someone is toasting an everything bagel. 354 00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:37,834 Maybe you're having a stroke. 355 00:14:37,859 --> 00:14:39,640 Oh, my gosh, I just got it. 356 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,083 Is there something in the oven? 357 00:14:41,279 --> 00:14:42,921 Um, not exactly. 358 00:14:42,946 --> 00:14:44,622 Oh, so do you guys all work together? 359 00:14:44,647 --> 00:14:45,576 We used to. 360 00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,349 Ah, we don't have to talk about work. 361 00:14:47,374 --> 00:14:48,631 Oh, my God! 362 00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:51,240 Have you heard about Zane's new publishing house? 363 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,766 Mercury? 364 00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:57,217 The god of profit and trickery... it is so Zane. 365 00:14:57,242 --> 00:14:59,718 Yeah, I heard about the, uh... the Audrey Colbert book. 366 00:14:59,743 --> 00:15:02,247 That was a, uh... I was surprised. 367 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,582 - Um, is there more wine? - Oh, yeah, sure. 368 00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:08,326 On top of all the stress of being a brand-new publisher, 369 00:15:08,351 --> 00:15:11,252 I also get to deal with Zane targeting all my authors. 370 00:15:11,797 --> 00:15:13,247 Ooh. 371 00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:16,997 Ooh, ooh, I just got a really big hit of it again. 372 00:15:17,838 --> 00:15:20,247 - Oh, it's like a garlic knot. - Yes! 373 00:15:20,272 --> 00:15:22,664 You guys have a garlic knot haunting your apartment. 374 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,818 - Oh, my God. - Or escargot. 375 00:15:25,159 --> 00:15:27,150 I love escargot. 376 00:15:27,175 --> 00:15:29,451 People are smelling me. 377 00:15:29,476 --> 00:15:31,568 It's okay. It's natural. 378 00:15:31,593 --> 00:15:33,534 You know, Kelsey, about Zane... 379 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,717 that... that's just business. 380 00:15:35,825 --> 00:15:37,256 I'm sure it's not personal. 381 00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,342 Well, then you clearly don't know Zane very well, 382 00:15:39,466 --> 00:15:42,401 because he's up to something, and he's not working alone, 383 00:15:42,426 --> 00:15:44,451 but he wants to make it seem like he is. 384 00:15:44,623 --> 00:15:46,146 Yeah, it is strange. 385 00:15:46,171 --> 00:15:48,482 Someone is clearly giving him money. 386 00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:51,004 I know, but who? 387 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,441 Who is it? 388 00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:54,888 Seriously, who is it? 389 00:15:54,965 --> 00:15:57,037 It's me! I'm the garlic knot. 390 00:15:57,062 --> 00:15:59,240 Beth stuck a whole clove up my pussy. 391 00:15:59,295 --> 00:16:01,557 It's plant medicine. 392 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:04,306 And I think it smells fine. 393 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,170 - Maggie! - Oh, my God. 394 00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:20,361 Hey. 395 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,685 Is there something you're not telling me? 396 00:16:22,975 --> 00:16:25,708 Yeah. You know, in a... in a lot of circles, 397 00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:29,107 Bronwyn's books are known as, uh, matron lit. 398 00:16:29,473 --> 00:16:31,734 Uh, so it... it probably wouldn't be a good fit 399 00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:33,180 for Millennial anyway. 400 00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:35,208 Good night, Liza. 401 00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:40,708 Charles... 402 00:16:42,257 --> 00:16:44,798 I have lied to a lot of people for a long time, 403 00:16:44,823 --> 00:16:47,208 and I know what it looks like. 404 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,400 I saw you with Zane. 405 00:16:49,446 --> 00:16:51,107 I know you mortgaged the town house, 406 00:16:51,132 --> 00:16:53,457 and I think you're behind Mercury. 407 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,904 I never wanted to give up publishing. 408 00:17:01,726 --> 00:17:04,208 I wanted to be with you. 409 00:17:04,802 --> 00:17:06,675 And I wanted to keep the company going, 410 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,544 so I had to make choices. 411 00:17:09,702 --> 00:17:12,049 So you are behind Mercury. 412 00:17:13,319 --> 00:17:17,541 - Why didn't you just tell me? - I'm sorry, Liza. 413 00:17:17,656 --> 00:17:19,077 I was planning to tell you. 414 00:17:19,102 --> 00:17:21,043 I was looking for the right time. 415 00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:22,842 To be honest, this whole thing 416 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,740 took off a lot faster than expected. 417 00:17:25,801 --> 00:17:28,310 But I don't understand. Millennial is your company. 418 00:17:28,335 --> 00:17:30,796 No, it's my dad's company. 419 00:17:31,105 --> 00:17:33,967 I wanted to build something of my own. 420 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,480 And this... 421 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,478 this was my chance... 422 00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:41,478 to take a risk, to... to reinvent myself. 423 00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:44,508 If anyone can understand that... 424 00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:46,329 it's you. 425 00:17:46,453 --> 00:17:48,630 You cannot be on the board of Millennial 426 00:17:48,682 --> 00:17:51,162 and run a competing publishing house. 427 00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:54,728 I just need some time to figure it out. 428 00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:57,978 Until that time... 429 00:17:58,042 --> 00:18:00,228 can this stay between us? 430 00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:04,707 - You mean don't tell Kelsey. - Not anyone. 431 00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:07,990 Just for now. 432 00:18:16,905 --> 00:18:18,630 - Hey. - Don't come too close. 433 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:20,632 - I'm still off-gassing. - What a night. 434 00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,334 At least your date didn't try to stuff you 435 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,170 like a cocktail olive. 436 00:18:28,528 --> 00:18:30,904 - Hey. - I can't text, I'm running. 437 00:18:30,929 --> 00:18:32,591 Bronwyn tweeted that she has a meeting 438 00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:35,282 at Suffolk House this morning, and I know it's with Zane. 439 00:18:35,307 --> 00:18:37,247 - I'm running to intercept, okay? - Wait. 440 00:18:37,272 --> 00:18:39,773 I'm going underground. Just meet me there. 441 00:18:39,864 --> 00:18:42,888 Kelsey. Kelsey! Shit. Damn it! 442 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,454 Um... 443 00:18:44,479 --> 00:18:45,860 uh, okay, bye! 444 00:18:58,060 --> 00:19:00,107 - Bronwyn. - What are you doing here? 445 00:19:02,231 --> 00:19:04,270 I know that you're meeting with other publishing houses. 446 00:19:04,295 --> 00:19:06,833 And I just want you to make the right choice. 447 00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:08,696 That's not Mercury. 448 00:19:08,721 --> 00:19:11,295 Yeah, I suppose the right choice is Millennial? 449 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,781 Yes. 450 00:19:13,030 --> 00:19:15,292 We are a company run by women 451 00:19:15,317 --> 00:19:19,084 who want important women's voices to be heard... your voice. 452 00:19:19,109 --> 00:19:21,295 What is Mercury? Who is Mercury? 453 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,621 - Hey, there! - The cavalry is here. 454 00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:24,951 Kelsey, can I talk to you for a minute? 455 00:19:24,976 --> 00:19:26,131 Yes. Sit down. 456 00:19:26,156 --> 00:19:28,571 Honestly, Bronwyn, not to take away from your work, 457 00:19:28,679 --> 00:19:31,328 but Zane is out to steal our authors, all right? 458 00:19:31,353 --> 00:19:33,839 He's a former employee who has a personal vendetta 459 00:19:33,864 --> 00:19:35,045 against our company. 460 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,664 She didn't come here to see Zane. 461 00:19:36,689 --> 00:19:38,210 I'm pretty sure she did. 462 00:19:38,235 --> 00:19:40,429 No, I don't know Zane from a wart on my butt. 463 00:19:40,454 --> 00:19:43,288 I came here to see Charles. 464 00:19:44,332 --> 00:19:46,038 What the... 465 00:19:46,063 --> 00:19:47,288 Oh, God. 466 00:19:47,313 --> 00:19:49,358 You're the money behind Mercury? 467 00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:51,924 - Kelsey, if you just give me... - Did you know about this? 468 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:53,930 I just found out. I was coming to tell you. 469 00:19:54,137 --> 00:19:56,171 You're the Chairman of the Board. 470 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,859 You're working against your own company? 471 00:19:57,884 --> 00:20:01,851 - You're working against me? - Wow, this is interesting. 472 00:20:02,516 --> 00:20:04,217 Could we talk outside? 473 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,898 - Yeah, that's a good idea. - No. 474 00:20:05,923 --> 00:20:07,195 No, you know what? 475 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:09,788 Bronwyn should know who she's getting into business with. 476 00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:12,474 A man who is by your side one minute 477 00:20:12,499 --> 00:20:15,319 and then the next trying to steal your authors. 478 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:19,834 My hair is falling out because of you and because of you. 479 00:20:20,229 --> 00:20:22,250 I hope you know who you're getting into business with 480 00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:25,069 because I sure as hell didn't. 481 00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:28,344 - Liza, wait. - Is this you figuring it out? 482 00:20:28,376 --> 00:20:30,576 Bronwyn reached out to me. 483 00:20:32,741 --> 00:20:34,819 He called your books "matron lit." 484 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,860 Hi, Gemma! 485 00:20:54,174 --> 00:20:56,155 Are you sure it's a good idea to have her in the studio? 486 00:20:56,180 --> 00:20:57,641 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 487 00:20:57,666 --> 00:21:00,147 The buzzing needles actually put her right to sleep. 488 00:21:00,172 --> 00:21:02,296 It's been amazing. 489 00:21:02,321 --> 00:21:05,902 I have learned so much in the last two days. 490 00:21:05,939 --> 00:21:08,761 Like, she loves walks... 491 00:21:08,790 --> 00:21:10,993 loves being read to. 492 00:21:13,086 --> 00:21:15,687 - "The Hung Juror"? - Yeah. 493 00:21:15,712 --> 00:21:17,375 Is this what you've been reading her? 494 00:21:17,405 --> 00:21:20,844 Okay, look, Kelsey brought home a bunch of senior erotica. 495 00:21:20,869 --> 00:21:23,493 Here, listen to this. 496 00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:29,422 "Frank held Cathy as she waved good-bye to her grandkids. 497 00:21:29,461 --> 00:21:32,633 His tumescence growing." 498 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:33,828 Look at her eyes. 499 00:21:33,853 --> 00:21:35,882 Are you kidding me with this? 500 00:21:35,907 --> 00:21:37,568 She loves it! 501 00:21:37,828 --> 00:21:39,483 Well, thanks for looking after her. 502 00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:41,724 Yeah. I mean... 503 00:21:42,631 --> 00:21:46,212 I'm her dad, you know, not her babysitter. 504 00:21:46,445 --> 00:21:48,125 I know. 505 00:21:50,081 --> 00:21:52,160 Hey, um... 506 00:21:53,555 --> 00:21:55,616 Look, so... 507 00:21:57,714 --> 00:22:00,422 I know we're getting a divorce, and... 508 00:22:00,865 --> 00:22:03,911 we're going to deal with custody stuff, but... 509 00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:08,969 I really want to be in her life full-time. 510 00:22:10,444 --> 00:22:13,836 Or at least equally split time. 511 00:22:15,707 --> 00:22:17,568 And, uh... 512 00:22:17,652 --> 00:22:20,713 I want sleepovers on a regular basis. 513 00:22:22,369 --> 00:22:23,630 Let's just figure out 514 00:22:23,655 --> 00:22:25,876 this whole parenting thing together, okay? 515 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:29,121 That'd be great, actually. 516 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:31,012 Just... 517 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,461 don't bring her down to the studio anymore. 518 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,186 Deal. 519 00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:46,758 My hair is falling out because of you and you! 520 00:22:46,829 --> 00:22:48,214 Everyone is going to see this video. 521 00:22:48,239 --> 00:22:50,008 It's just Publisher's Lunch. 522 00:22:50,033 --> 00:22:51,860 It's also trending on Reddit. 523 00:22:52,060 --> 00:22:53,440 You know what? 524 00:22:53,465 --> 00:22:55,828 Charles is the one that looks bad, not me. 525 00:22:55,853 --> 00:22:58,391 He's completely in the wrong here. 526 00:22:59,465 --> 00:23:01,006 Say something. 527 00:23:01,043 --> 00:23:03,072 Bronwyn, who apparently does think we're peers, 528 00:23:03,097 --> 00:23:04,798 is staying put. 529 00:23:04,914 --> 00:23:06,375 - Really? - Yeah! 530 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,492 She said anyone who fights 531 00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:08,975 for her like you did, she's sticking with. 532 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,199 Okay. Now, that is some good news. 533 00:23:13,729 --> 00:23:15,470 - So... - Why are you two looking 534 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,226 at me like my eyebrows fell off? 535 00:23:17,251 --> 00:23:18,631 Oh, my God, did they? 536 00:23:18,656 --> 00:23:20,316 No, gosh, of course not. 537 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,373 I got calls from three agents 538 00:23:22,398 --> 00:23:23,969 and emails from another handful. 539 00:23:23,994 --> 00:23:26,172 They're all making noise about moving their clients 540 00:23:26,216 --> 00:23:28,172 from Millennial... 541 00:23:28,676 --> 00:23:30,337 to Mercury. 542 00:23:30,639 --> 00:23:32,460 They don't care that Charles is in the wrong. 543 00:23:32,485 --> 00:23:34,398 They want the gray hair in the room. 544 00:23:34,423 --> 00:23:38,205 No. I'm calling an emergency board meeting. He can't do that! 545 00:23:38,230 --> 00:23:40,078 Charles resigned from the board 546 00:23:40,103 --> 00:23:41,906 about an hour ago. 547 00:23:42,229 --> 00:23:44,040 He did? 548 00:23:45,289 --> 00:23:47,277 What does that mean? 549 00:23:47,805 --> 00:23:50,226 That he's officially our competition now. 550 00:23:58,686 --> 00:24:04,055 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -