1 00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:02,952 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC] 2 00:00:02,977 --> 00:00:04,764 So let's talk about the 2011 3 00:00:04,789 --> 00:00:06,560 White House Correspondents' dinner. 4 00:00:06,585 --> 00:00:08,127 Do you think maybe you trolled Donald Trump 5 00:00:08,152 --> 00:00:09,259 into running for president? 6 00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:11,085 Uh [CHUCKLES] honestly, 7 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,623 the most memorable part 8 00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:14,663 of that night for me was... 9 00:00:14,688 --> 00:00:17,631 was knowing that the president had just authorized 10 00:00:17,656 --> 00:00:20,026 a secret raid to take out bin Laden. 11 00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:22,125 And watching all these people 12 00:00:22,150 --> 00:00:23,843 who are gonna have to report on it 13 00:00:23,868 --> 00:00:25,227 at the break of dawn 14 00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:29,529 just get wasted. [BOTH LAUGH] 15 00:00:29,554 --> 00:00:31,565 I actually remember that night very, very well. 16 00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,683 Um, do you have any plans on going back to D.C.? 17 00:00:33,708 --> 00:00:37,365 No, I'm happy doing the podcast and consulting. 18 00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:39,244 You know, I'm definitely hoping to find some time 19 00:00:39,269 --> 00:00:41,073 later this year to write a memoir. 20 00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:43,387 Kelsey... Lorraine... Peters! 21 00:00:43,412 --> 00:00:44,714 Lauren, you gotta knock. 22 00:00:44,739 --> 00:00:46,160 You got onto Yara. 23 00:00:46,185 --> 00:00:48,983 Why do you have my phone? You got onto Yara! 24 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:51,105 Dude, it's the dating app you have to apply for. 25 00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,585 Okay, I... I did not apply. 26 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,212 Oh, my God, know me better, please. 27 00:00:54,237 --> 00:00:55,593 Come on. I applied for you. 28 00:00:55,618 --> 00:00:57,271 Okay, look, we have Wall Street. 29 00:00:57,296 --> 00:00:59,453 Wall Street. Ooh, DJ? Oh, my God. 30 00:00:59,478 --> 00:01:01,515 This looks like every other terrible dating app. 31 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:02,891 [KNOCKING AT DOOR] 32 00:01:02,916 --> 00:01:04,896 Yo, some of us need to shower. 33 00:01:04,921 --> 00:01:07,835 Kelsey got onto Yara. Wow. 34 00:01:07,886 --> 00:01:09,544 Wait, this is like Tinder for the Illuminati, right? 35 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,179 Yes, and she's acting like she's too cool for it. 36 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,127 I am not! I need ten more minutes to get ready. 37 00:01:13,152 --> 00:01:15,466 Wait, wait! Will you just swipe a little bit? 38 00:01:15,751 --> 00:01:17,632 Ah. Okay, no. 39 00:01:17,657 --> 00:01:20,536 Look at those eyes. Oh, hi there. 40 00:01:20,818 --> 00:01:23,489 Uh. Thi... this is Anna. 41 00:01:23,514 --> 00:01:25,495 Kelsey just got onto Yara, the dating app. 42 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,027 Oh, the celebrity one? 43 00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:28,891 Yeah. That's so cool. 44 00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,523 Okay, okay, I need to finish getting ready. 45 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:31,902 This is going to be so much fun. 46 00:01:31,927 --> 00:01:34,259 Oh, it already is! It's so fun. 47 00:01:34,284 --> 00:01:36,591 Oh, can I pee, like, really quick? 48 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,725 [PERCUSSIVE MUSIC] 49 00:01:39,984 --> 00:01:41,694 [SIGHS] 50 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:44,682 ♪ ♪ 51 00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,075 Big news. 52 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,002 "People" magazine wants to do a feature 53 00:01:53,027 --> 00:01:54,367 on "Marriage Vacation." 54 00:01:54,392 --> 00:01:55,813 Oh, that's so great! 55 00:01:55,838 --> 00:01:57,945 About Charles and Pauline getting back together. 56 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,085 Wow. They even want to pay 57 00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:02,622 for a vow renewal ceremony in Hawaii. 58 00:02:02,647 --> 00:02:06,739 Oh. My gosh, that's amazing. 59 00:02:06,764 --> 00:02:08,950 Don't think you'll be going. Hm. 60 00:02:08,975 --> 00:02:10,477 I just heard about "People" magazine. 61 00:02:10,502 --> 00:02:12,522 Oh. We are so excited. 62 00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:14,239 That's not happening. 63 00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,285 Pauline and I are 64 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,104 getting a divorce. 65 00:02:18,129 --> 00:02:20,099 What? Oh, Charles. 66 00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:22,424 I am so sorry. 67 00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:25,584 Uh, what are we going to do about the book tour? 68 00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:26,914 It starts tomorrow. 69 00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,941 Everything goes forward as planned. 70 00:02:28,966 --> 00:02:30,589 I was never part of the publicity. 71 00:02:30,614 --> 00:02:32,716 Not officially, but the book 72 00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:34,406 has been gaining momentum because people thought 73 00:02:34,431 --> 00:02:36,711 it resulted in the author and her husband 74 00:02:36,736 --> 00:02:38,358 getting back together. 75 00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:41,084 I don't know what to say, Diana. 76 00:02:41,109 --> 00:02:44,372 I'm not going to live my life to fit the novel. 77 00:02:44,426 --> 00:02:47,449 [FINDLAY'S "WASTE MY TIME"] 78 00:02:47,474 --> 00:02:49,867 ♪ They say I'm no good ♪ 79 00:02:49,892 --> 00:02:51,987 ♪ But I've never been better ♪ 80 00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:54,548 ♪ No, I've never been better ♪ 81 00:02:54,582 --> 00:03:00,443 ♪ I don't ever want to waste my time ♪ 82 00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:01,965 ♪ Again ♪ 83 00:03:02,627 --> 00:03:06,646 ♪ Don't you know how hard ♪ 84 00:03:06,671 --> 00:03:08,970 ♪ I try... ♪ 85 00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:11,546 So Obama's former speechwriter, Jake Devereux, 86 00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,273 is making the rounds with a memoir, 87 00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,715 and I think it would be great "get" for Millennial. 88 00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:17,506 Or Empirical. Now, I've been planning 89 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,413 on going after Devereux for weeks. 90 00:03:19,438 --> 00:03:21,276 Who doesn't love a planner, but I actually 91 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,210 have a meeting set with him tomorrow in D.C. 92 00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:25,978 So do I. Maybe you should think about cancelling yours. 93 00:03:26,032 --> 00:03:28,647 Work together. Jake Devereux's book will be big. 94 00:03:28,672 --> 00:03:29,897 So whoever gets him, 95 00:03:29,922 --> 00:03:31,540 it'll be a win for the company. 96 00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:34,393 [UPBEAT, DYNAMIC MUSIC] 97 00:03:34,575 --> 00:03:36,441 ♪ ♪ 98 00:03:36,692 --> 00:03:39,027 And I mean, can you believe this timing? 99 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,728 Just as the book about our marriage comes out, 100 00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,140 he wants a divorce. 101 00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:43,467 Are you okay? 102 00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:46,142 I don't know. I guess. 103 00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,178 I'm mostly just focused on how everyone else 104 00:03:48,203 --> 00:03:49,569 is going to react to the news. 105 00:03:49,594 --> 00:03:51,321 The girls, you two, 106 00:03:51,346 --> 00:03:53,194 everyone who's gonna come hear me read. 107 00:03:53,219 --> 00:03:55,642 It's none of their business. I made it their business. 108 00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:56,882 People are gonna want to know 109 00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:58,875 how's the real life Kate and Karl? 110 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:01,351 Say they're doing great, never been better. 111 00:04:01,463 --> 00:04:03,165 So lie? 112 00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:05,270 Postpone the truth. 113 00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:06,748 At least until you make 114 00:04:06,773 --> 00:04:08,555 the "New York Times" Best Seller List. 115 00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,933 What do you think, Liza? 116 00:04:11,074 --> 00:04:13,217 [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] 117 00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:14,959 ♪ ♪ 118 00:04:14,984 --> 00:04:16,845 I, uh... 119 00:04:17,602 --> 00:04:21,069 I think, once you've created a story, 120 00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:24,021 other people want to believe it as much as you do. 121 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:27,758 So true. Honesty can be very self-indulgent. 122 00:04:27,783 --> 00:04:29,862 I don't know. I'm a terrible liar. 123 00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:31,817 Just talk about your relationship when it was good. 124 00:04:31,842 --> 00:04:34,485 It's really just a lie of verb tenses. 125 00:04:34,539 --> 00:04:36,218 We could practice. 126 00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:37,977 Okay. 127 00:04:38,002 --> 00:04:40,266 Uh, let's see. When it was good? 128 00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:43,155 Ah, this is gonna make me sad. 129 00:04:44,193 --> 00:04:45,754 Well... 130 00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,521 He used to write me these... 131 00:04:49,078 --> 00:04:52,105 He... writes me 132 00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:54,590 these little love poems on sticky notes 133 00:04:54,615 --> 00:04:56,336 and puts them in the book I'm reading. 134 00:04:56,361 --> 00:04:57,582 That's a good one. 135 00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:58,921 [VOICE BREAKING] Yeah. 136 00:04:58,946 --> 00:05:00,728 And when we go to the country 137 00:05:00,753 --> 00:05:02,268 in the summer 138 00:05:02,613 --> 00:05:04,906 we always make love outside. 139 00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:06,581 [AWKWARDLY] Aw. 140 00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,858 And now we're never going to make love again. 141 00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:11,078 That's enough. Very, very good. 142 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,925 You probably don't need to get that detailed. 143 00:05:12,950 --> 00:05:14,800 [SNIFFLES] The bottle. 144 00:05:14,825 --> 00:05:17,133 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC] 145 00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:23,226 ♪ ♪ 146 00:05:25,817 --> 00:05:27,381 Hi. 147 00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:29,963 How are you? 148 00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:32,571 Um. I'm, uh... I'm fine. 149 00:05:32,801 --> 00:05:36,296 I was, um, surprised to hear about you and Pauline. 150 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,515 I guess maybe I thought it was working out. 151 00:05:40,522 --> 00:05:43,389 This must be really tough on you and the girls. 152 00:05:44,271 --> 00:05:46,273 Actually, it has been tough. 153 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,592 Anytime you need me, I'm here. 154 00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:53,734 Uh, I mean, not here here. I know this isn't a good place. 155 00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:56,463 Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's not. 156 00:05:56,488 --> 00:06:00,953 How about we get together after Pauline's book tour? 157 00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:04,555 There is a lot that I want to talk to you about. 158 00:06:04,999 --> 00:06:06,590 Of course. 159 00:06:07,477 --> 00:06:08,831 I look forward to it. 160 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,484 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 161 00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:20,802 ♪ ♪ 162 00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:23,768 "And that night at the dinner table 163 00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:25,635 "in front of the kids, 164 00:06:25,783 --> 00:06:27,525 "he took my hand, 165 00:06:27,711 --> 00:06:30,927 "and for the second time in our relationship, 166 00:06:32,072 --> 00:06:33,622 "he proposed." 167 00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:36,650 [APPLAUSE] 168 00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:42,150 Thank you, Pauline. 169 00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:43,716 What a special treat for us 170 00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:45,706 having you hear at Temple Israel. 171 00:06:45,731 --> 00:06:47,513 Well, thank you so much for having me. 172 00:06:47,538 --> 00:06:50,404 Ooh, I see a lot of familiar faces in the crowd 173 00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:53,339 who can't wait to get up and ask questions. 174 00:06:53,364 --> 00:06:55,746 Please, queue up at the microphone. 175 00:06:55,984 --> 00:06:57,036 Ooh. 176 00:06:57,061 --> 00:06:59,357 [CHUCKLES] Goodness. 177 00:06:59,998 --> 00:07:02,788 Hi, Pauline. Fern Hirsch. Hi, Fern. 178 00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:04,755 Can you talk a little bit about the process? 179 00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:06,549 My writing process? No. 180 00:07:06,574 --> 00:07:09,041 The process of getting back together with your husband. 181 00:07:09,987 --> 00:07:11,818 Oh, um. 182 00:07:11,843 --> 00:07:14,138 Smile. I, um... 183 00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:15,993 Um... 184 00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:21,500 Um, you know, 185 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,627 working together brought us closer. 186 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,478 I think we were able to really 187 00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:29,217 rediscover ourselves as partners. 188 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:31,875 You didn't seem like strangers after all of that time apart? 189 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,322 I know I would. Suddenly it's the Fern show. 190 00:07:34,347 --> 00:07:38,171 You know, sometimes sex is better with a stranger. 191 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:41,008 [LAUGHTER] 192 00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:44,929 [CRYING SOFTLY] 193 00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:46,458 I think she'll be better one-on-one. 194 00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:47,678 She has to be. 195 00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:50,048 Pauline Turner Brooks, 196 00:07:50,073 --> 00:07:51,948 thank you for being on Bookworm. 197 00:07:51,973 --> 00:07:53,781 Thank you, Michael, and I'm so sorry 198 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,363 I couldn't join you in LA. As am I. 199 00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:59,562 Well let's jump right in. What a story. 200 00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:01,900 It's like fiction meets memoir. 201 00:08:01,925 --> 00:08:05,068 Yes. Yes, but mostly fiction. 202 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,157 Well, the way you talk about your husband 203 00:08:08,182 --> 00:08:10,609 and your life together, 204 00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:12,841 they say that God is in the details. 205 00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:15,760 Or the devil, depending on who you ask. 206 00:08:15,785 --> 00:08:20,709 Well may I ask, how is your real-life relationship? 207 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,698 You just did. We knew he would. 208 00:08:22,828 --> 00:08:25,643 Oh, it's... 209 00:08:26,121 --> 00:08:27,715 Um... 210 00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,037 It's, uh... 211 00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:31,631 Land the plane, land the plane. 212 00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,946 It's... good. 213 00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:35,830 It's really good. 214 00:08:35,855 --> 00:08:37,974 Okay, I think she's got this. 215 00:08:37,999 --> 00:08:39,300 You wrote in your book 216 00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:41,639 that your sex life had become 217 00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:43,628 "routine but serviceable, 218 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:48,767 "like the many Italian bistros on the Upper East Side." 219 00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:52,236 What kind of restaurant would you say your sex life 220 00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:55,148 is like now since the "vacation"? 221 00:08:55,558 --> 00:08:57,100 Well... 222 00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:58,838 It's hot. 223 00:08:59,214 --> 00:09:00,656 So... 224 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,464 Thai, I guess? 225 00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:06,138 Or, um, Korean barbecue? [SNIFFLES] 226 00:09:06,163 --> 00:09:08,642 [CRYING] We have a hot 227 00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:12,651 Korean barbecue sex and it's just so... 228 00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:14,848 So... 229 00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:18,896 [SOBBING] Spicy. 230 00:09:20,151 --> 00:09:23,160 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 231 00:09:23,185 --> 00:09:24,812 ♪ ♪ 232 00:09:24,837 --> 00:09:26,065 So there's so many people. 233 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:28,822 Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio. 234 00:09:28,847 --> 00:09:32,743 And these guys, they are really good at basketball. 235 00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:35,432 But none of them have the guts to guard the president. 236 00:09:36,231 --> 00:09:37,495 So I have to. 237 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,315 And he's good, right? And I'm... 238 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:41,420 You know, terrible. 239 00:09:41,445 --> 00:09:44,068 They called me "All-Day" because that's how long 240 00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:45,516 the president could score on me. 241 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,940 [BOTH LAUGH] 242 00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:49,472 Aw, that still had to be fun, though. 243 00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:51,837 Imagine all your heroes laughing at you. 244 00:09:51,862 --> 00:09:54,474 Come on, it didn't bruise your reputation too bad. 245 00:09:54,499 --> 00:09:56,723 I've seen the pictures of you hanging out with movie stars. 246 00:09:56,748 --> 00:09:58,348 Yeah, you even dated a couple. 247 00:09:58,373 --> 00:10:00,496 Definitely not putting that in the book. 248 00:10:00,521 --> 00:10:03,330 Well, even if you don't, though I think you should, 249 00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:04,927 your book is gonna be a best seller. 250 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,337 You think? Yes. 251 00:10:06,362 --> 00:10:08,214 You just have to publish with the right place. 252 00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:09,537 And, of course, that's Empirical. 253 00:10:09,562 --> 00:10:11,180 Or Millennial. 254 00:10:11,205 --> 00:10:13,291 We have a great track record. 255 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,848 Our goal is to publish authors with original voices. 256 00:10:16,873 --> 00:10:18,289 We also just signed a first-look deal 257 00:10:18,314 --> 00:10:20,809 with Reese Witherspoon's production company, 258 00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:23,315 which puts us in a very unique position. 259 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,437 And one of the benefits of going with Empirical, 260 00:10:25,462 --> 00:10:27,264 there is no big, splashy, 261 00:10:27,289 --> 00:10:29,523 female-focused production company attached. 262 00:10:29,548 --> 00:10:31,771 So you can shop your book around anywhere you want. 263 00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:33,939 And you can keep all the money for yourself. 264 00:10:33,984 --> 00:10:36,908 Either way you go, you'll make a great choice. 265 00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:38,917 ♪ Oh, darling ♪ 266 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,242 ♪ Don't you see how it is ♪ 267 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:43,754 You killed that. Thank you. 268 00:10:43,779 --> 00:10:45,774 You didn't do so bad yourself. 269 00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:48,695 Mm, but you know he's gonna go with me, right? 270 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,943 [CHUCKLES] You know what? I love your confidence. 271 00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:54,714 Sometimes it's even sexy. 272 00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:57,731 Sometimes. 273 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,493 ♪ There's a sensation ♪ 274 00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,632 ♪ In my bones ♪ 275 00:11:03,657 --> 00:11:06,759 Can I do half regular and half sweet potato? 276 00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:09,313 Great. Thank you. 277 00:11:09,338 --> 00:11:11,916 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 278 00:11:11,941 --> 00:11:13,725 [PHONE CHIMES] 279 00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:16,898 ♪ It's a savage dream into ♪ 280 00:11:16,923 --> 00:11:20,037 ♪ To which I fell ♪ 281 00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:23,024 ♪ I catch my breath ♪ 282 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,738 ♪ As I lose my hold ♪ 283 00:11:25,763 --> 00:11:30,703 ♪ Tumble down the well of no self-control ♪ 284 00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:35,125 ♪ You stole my pulse yet it beats for you ♪ 285 00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:38,529 ♪ My sanity escapes me ♪ 286 00:11:38,554 --> 00:11:41,077 ♪ In this love so true ♪ 287 00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:46,625 ♪ I love the way ♪- 288 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:49,374 ♪ You haunt me, darling ♪ 289 00:11:49,399 --> 00:11:51,958 ♪ I want you, darling ♪ 290 00:11:51,983 --> 00:11:57,337 ♪ I love the way ♪ 291 00:11:57,362 --> 00:12:00,170 ♪ You haunt me, darling ♪ 292 00:12:00,195 --> 00:12:03,123 ♪ I want you, darling ♪ 293 00:12:04,743 --> 00:12:06,877 See you around? Yeah, later. 294 00:12:06,902 --> 00:12:09,245 Thanks, again. Oh, you're welcome. 295 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,319 Bye. Bye. 296 00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:15,003 You guys met? Yeah, Josh, y'girl was loose 297 00:12:15,028 --> 00:12:16,987 in the house and asked to borrow some eyeliner. 298 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:18,593 Let me tell you something about the eyes. 299 00:12:18,618 --> 00:12:19,470 They are the window to the soul. 300 00:12:19,495 --> 00:12:21,779 They are also the doorway to disease and infection. 301 00:12:21,804 --> 00:12:23,467 You didn't have to let her use it. 302 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,794 I shouldn't have been asked, dude. 303 00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:26,330 We're all living in this tiny apartment. 304 00:12:26,355 --> 00:12:28,155 Can we please just set some ground rules 305 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,302 about bringing people home? Okay, okay, fine. 306 00:12:30,326 --> 00:12:32,465 Yes. Can we do it over food, though? 307 00:12:32,491 --> 00:12:33,993 I'm starving. Thought you'd never ask. 308 00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:36,325 All right. Let's go. 309 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,305 All right, you have to walk them 310 00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:41,108 to and from the front door, okay? 311 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:44,143 No roamers, no moaners, no giving out the Wi-Fi code. 312 00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:45,209 Oh, and they can have coffee, 313 00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:46,928 but they may not have the cold brew. 314 00:12:46,953 --> 00:12:50,670 Okay, calm down. I just got out of a terrible break up. 315 00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:51,801 Mm-hmm. I'm gonna be having 316 00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:54,250 a lot of sex. That's just what you do. 317 00:12:54,462 --> 00:12:56,477 Some people journal furiously about how 318 00:12:56,502 --> 00:12:57,934 they wish they're relationship had ended, 319 00:12:57,959 --> 00:12:59,710 and then they find a surrogate relationship 320 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,871 where they try to re-create the break-up on their terms. 321 00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,306 I'm just saying everybody's different. 322 00:13:03,331 --> 00:13:06,927 Okay, I ju... I need to break this pattern, all right? 323 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,177 I want to be the guy that's into random hook-ups, 324 00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:11,756 not the guy who just keeps falling in love with everyone. 325 00:13:11,781 --> 00:13:14,999 Josh, that is like me saying I want to be athletic. 326 00:13:15,024 --> 00:13:17,583 Okay? I'm serious. You're a born romantic, dude. 327 00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:18,741 There's nothing you can do to change that. 328 00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:20,870 [GROANS] I need to change it. 329 00:13:20,895 --> 00:13:22,186 I just keep getting hurt. 330 00:13:22,211 --> 00:13:24,540 Love just doesn't work for me. No, but it will. 331 00:13:24,565 --> 00:13:27,768 Okay, listen, you are gonna meet that perfect person, 332 00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,356 and it is all gonna click. 333 00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:31,024 What if I already did? 334 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,848 What if it's Liza? 335 00:13:33,873 --> 00:13:37,111 Listen, if you and Liza are meant to be together, 336 00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,140 nothing can keep you apart. 337 00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:42,140 And I'm the romantic one? 338 00:13:42,165 --> 00:13:43,704 Yeah. 339 00:13:44,152 --> 00:13:47,020 Out of all the people I could have met on Yara... 340 00:13:47,045 --> 00:13:49,215 I know. I was surprised to see your profile. 341 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,124 And to learn you're interested in men and women. 342 00:13:53,192 --> 00:13:54,707 [GROANS] 343 00:13:54,732 --> 00:13:56,802 My friend Lauren applied for me. 344 00:13:56,827 --> 00:13:58,653 Mm. Clearly she's more interested 345 00:13:58,678 --> 00:14:00,017 in meeting people for herself. 346 00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:02,020 [PHONE CHIMES] Uh-huh, sure. 347 00:14:02,045 --> 00:14:04,208 [CHUCKLES] 348 00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:21,842 I'll be right back. No rush. 349 00:14:22,636 --> 00:14:24,958 [PHONE CLACKING] 350 00:14:32,046 --> 00:14:36,190 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 351 00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:38,957 ♪ ♪ 352 00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,756 Ah. 353 00:14:43,158 --> 00:14:46,016 Good morning. Good morning. 354 00:14:49,828 --> 00:14:51,202 Um... 355 00:14:51,355 --> 00:14:52,977 There are bagels in the lobby. 356 00:14:53,002 --> 00:14:55,893 Yeah, I'm good. I'm actually meeting somebody. 357 00:14:56,472 --> 00:14:58,156 Me too. 358 00:14:58,346 --> 00:14:59,567 Hey, guys. 359 00:14:59,592 --> 00:15:01,098 Hey. Hi, Jake. 360 00:15:01,123 --> 00:15:02,585 Sorry, I can't stay for breakfast. 361 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,795 I'm doing HuffPo Live in an hour. 362 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,915 Um, so, look, I was really impressed 363 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,318 with what you guys had to say and I know the importance 364 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,245 of surrounding yourself with smart people, 365 00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:15,950 so I decided that I would like to work with you. 366 00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:18,417 Who? Both of you. 367 00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:22,155 Can we do that? 368 00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:27,266 Why not? There are a few reasons. 369 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:30,956 But we can figure that out. Okay, fantastic. 370 00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:33,151 I feel really good about this. 371 00:15:33,176 --> 00:15:34,362 Good. I'm glad. 372 00:15:34,387 --> 00:15:37,715 Great, so my lawyer will be in touch. 373 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:40,896 And I'm super excited, so I'll see ya. 374 00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:43,905 Hey, Jake. 375 00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:45,315 Are you sure? 376 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,046 You know, sometimes three's a crowd. 377 00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:49,887 I mean one thing no other publishing house 378 00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:51,912 is offering is two amazing editors. 379 00:15:51,937 --> 00:15:53,519 I'm a first-time author. 380 00:15:53,544 --> 00:15:55,594 I need all the help I can get. 381 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,550 Okay. Okay? 382 00:15:58,797 --> 00:16:01,878 Oh, um, I saw you on Yara. 383 00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:05,157 [SUCKS TEETH] Yeah, I saw you too. 384 00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:08,042 [BRIGHT POP MUSIC] 385 00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:12,798 ♪ ♪ 386 00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:18,663 How is the tour going? 387 00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:21,579 Door open or door closed? 388 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,686 Pauline is unhinged. 389 00:16:26,711 --> 00:16:27,866 She cries every time 390 00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:29,657 she's asked about your relationship. 391 00:16:30,338 --> 00:16:31,575 Ah. 392 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,149 I knew that talking about the break up would be hard. 393 00:16:35,174 --> 00:16:37,296 But this... this, uh... 394 00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,456 That is truly unexpected. 395 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:43,128 Uh, she's actually telling people that, um, 396 00:16:43,376 --> 00:16:44,998 that you're still together. 397 00:16:45,023 --> 00:16:46,809 I thought it might be a bad idea, but 398 00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:50,425 it's so hard to push back with such raw subject matter. 399 00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:54,415 It's not your fault. This is uncharted territory. 400 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,967 Ugh, I had such high hopes. 401 00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:57,704 Well, this book 402 00:16:58,376 --> 00:17:01,302 may not be what the company hoped it would be. 403 00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:04,675 It's definitely not what Pauline hoped it would be. 404 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:07,154 Yeah. 405 00:17:07,179 --> 00:17:10,756 I'm sorry, Diana, for making your job harder. 406 00:17:12,544 --> 00:17:16,926 Charles, maybe you should go tonight in my place. 407 00:17:16,951 --> 00:17:20,016 Wouldn't that just support this fallacy? 408 00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,837 You're not supporting her lie. 409 00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:23,892 You're supporting her. 410 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,300 [UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 411 00:17:27,325 --> 00:17:34,740 ♪ ♪ 412 00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:37,666 Liza, sorry I'm late. Hi, it's okay. 413 00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:40,293 How are you feeling? Ah, nervous. 414 00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,285 All right, I'm gonna talk to moderator 415 00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,674 before the Q&A starts. 416 00:17:43,699 --> 00:17:44,676 Hopefully I can get him to stick 417 00:17:44,701 --> 00:17:45,881 to questions about the novel. 418 00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:47,727 [CHUCKLES] You know you'd think 419 00:17:47,752 --> 00:17:49,614 the lying would get easier, 420 00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:52,117 but the more it accumulates, the harder it gets. 421 00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:55,247 [SOFTLY] Yeah. Believe what you're saying is true. 422 00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:57,246 Keep your answers short, and remember, these people 423 00:17:57,271 --> 00:17:59,300 are here because you gave them hope. 424 00:17:59,325 --> 00:18:01,227 Yep, false hope. 425 00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:03,315 Hope that they could have the lives they wanted. 426 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:06,182 It doesn't necessarily mean saving their marriage. 427 00:18:06,207 --> 00:18:07,996 That can mean anything. 428 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:11,250 Okay. Thanks, Liza. 429 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,597 "It was a Tuesday. 430 00:18:17,622 --> 00:18:21,223 "Corina had piano lessons and Jamie had ballet. 431 00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:25,007 "I was back in the routine, and it felt like I never left. 432 00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:26,926 "The one difference was..." Hey. 433 00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:29,135 No statements and no two-part questions. 434 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,832 And try not to pick someone who came here 435 00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:32,136 for advice on their love life. 436 00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:33,325 How am I supposed to know that? 437 00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:34,411 Oh, you can tell. 438 00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:36,525 "And that night at the dinner table 439 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:37,892 "in front of the kids, 440 00:18:37,977 --> 00:18:39,673 "he took my hand, 441 00:18:39,698 --> 00:18:42,574 "and for the second time in our relationship, 442 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,775 "he proposed." 443 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,522 [APPLAUSE] 444 00:18:50,475 --> 00:18:52,096 Thank you. 445 00:18:52,121 --> 00:18:54,121 Thank you, Pauline. 446 00:18:54,158 --> 00:18:56,537 Now we'll take some questions from the audience. 447 00:18:56,562 --> 00:18:58,102 Oh, no, too eager. Keep going. 448 00:18:58,127 --> 00:19:00,450 Yes, over here on the right. 449 00:19:00,475 --> 00:19:03,225 Mm-mm. 450 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,228 [SIGHS] Hi, Pauline. 451 00:19:05,253 --> 00:19:07,155 Beth. Hi, Beth. 452 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,044 Love your book. Aw, thank you. 453 00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:11,759 I have a personal question. 454 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,101 Oh, of course you do. 455 00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:14,824 How's it working between you 456 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,355 and the real-life Karl? 457 00:19:18,937 --> 00:19:21,159 Um, it's... [DOOR OPENS] 458 00:19:21,184 --> 00:19:23,234 It's... [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY] 459 00:19:23,259 --> 00:19:25,039 Well, the truth is... 460 00:19:25,470 --> 00:19:28,935 [SOFT MUSIC] 461 00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:31,981 ♪ ♪ 462 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:34,010 The truth is 463 00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:37,326 my marriage was over before I left. 464 00:19:37,351 --> 00:19:38,756 [CROWD GASPS] 465 00:19:38,781 --> 00:19:41,011 And no matter what I did, 466 00:19:41,036 --> 00:19:42,684 no matter what he did, 467 00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,711 it wasn't gonna get fixed. 468 00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:49,848 This story is a fantasy. 469 00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:52,466 It's how I imagined it for the couple in the book 470 00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,613 because I like happy endings. 471 00:19:55,144 --> 00:19:57,215 But for me, 472 00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:00,471 my story isn't over. 473 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,896 And my happy ending is still out there. 474 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:08,369 [APPLAUSE] 475 00:20:09,337 --> 00:20:11,205 Thank you. 476 00:20:12,723 --> 00:20:15,754 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 477 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:18,073 Okay, next question. 478 00:20:19,614 --> 00:20:21,931 Thank you too. 479 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,989 Charles, hi. Hi. 480 00:20:25,014 --> 00:20:26,435 I didn't know you were going to be here tonight. 481 00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:29,096 I heard that Pauline was having a hard time. 482 00:20:29,207 --> 00:20:31,920 And I assume that lying was your idea? 483 00:20:32,795 --> 00:20:34,522 Charles. 484 00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,675 Hi. Hi. 485 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,433 I'm glad you came. Me too. 486 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:42,658 And I know that was hard, but... 487 00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:46,523 being honest was the right thing to do. 488 00:20:46,548 --> 00:20:48,891 [LAUGHS] 489 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:51,335 Well, I mean, I wasn't truly honest. 490 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,743 If I had been, I would have said 491 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:57,295 that it was your career and your ambition 492 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,424 that ruined our marriage, not mine. 493 00:20:59,449 --> 00:21:02,529 And that when we got married, I thought we'd be a team. 494 00:21:02,836 --> 00:21:04,899 Right away, it was all about you. 495 00:21:04,924 --> 00:21:07,346 I was just there to be your rock. 496 00:21:07,749 --> 00:21:10,156 And you never noticed how unhappy I was 497 00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,666 because you didn't want to. 498 00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:17,641 I'm sorry, Pauline. 499 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,265 I really am. 500 00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:20,788 And you're right. 501 00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,563 Sometimes I am blind 502 00:21:24,469 --> 00:21:26,792 to what's right in front of me. 503 00:21:32,623 --> 00:21:34,444 Charles. 504 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,202 Huh! 505 00:21:45,156 --> 00:21:46,272 ♪ We were born ♪ 506 00:21:46,297 --> 00:21:48,549 ♪ In summertime light ♪ 507 00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:50,218 Charles. 508 00:21:50,243 --> 00:21:52,705 Charles. Wait. 509 00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:54,690 Who are you? 510 00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:58,400 What? Who are you? 511 00:21:58,425 --> 00:22:00,848 [OPUS ORANGE'S "ARTIFICIAL HEART"] 512 00:22:00,873 --> 00:22:03,155 I think if you're asking, you probably know. 513 00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:04,956 I thought I did. 514 00:22:05,373 --> 00:22:08,534 I'm just a woman who lied about her age to get a job. 515 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,817 How long have you... It doesn't matter. 516 00:22:12,842 --> 00:22:15,089 What else did you lie about? Let me explain. 517 00:22:15,114 --> 00:22:17,239 You betrayed me. 518 00:22:18,048 --> 00:22:23,139 You looked me in the eyes for months and months, 519 00:22:23,164 --> 00:22:26,765 and you pretended to be somebody else entirely. 520 00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:30,341 You are not the kind of person that I want to have in my life. 521 00:22:30,366 --> 00:22:34,942 Unfortunately this company will not survive another scandal. 522 00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:36,253 So from now on 523 00:22:36,278 --> 00:22:40,054 we have a professional reporting relationship. 524 00:22:40,392 --> 00:22:42,546 Maybe it would be better if I just left. 525 00:22:42,571 --> 00:22:46,521 Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - www.addic7ed.com - 526 00:22:46,546 --> 00:22:48,652 I thought you did all this to get a job. 527 00:22:48,677 --> 00:22:52,731 ♪ You took a hammer to my artificial heart ♪ 528 00:22:53,952 --> 00:22:56,167 ♪ My walls fell down ♪ 529 00:22:56,192 --> 00:22:59,220 ♪ You've broken through ♪