1 00:00:00,079 --> 00:00:03,810 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:04,881 --> 00:00:06,719 Well, hey, there, sailor. 3 00:00:06,744 --> 00:00:08,036 Where are you dropping anchor? 4 00:00:08,061 --> 00:00:11,132 A group of us are joining the Fire Island invasion this year. 5 00:00:11,157 --> 00:00:14,129 It's the annual drag parade from Cherry Grove. 6 00:00:14,155 --> 00:00:16,122 Can I fix you some chow before the crossing? 7 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,564 No, no, no. Actually, I've got to hustle. 8 00:00:17,589 --> 00:00:18,934 I'm gonna miss the fairy ferry. Muah! 9 00:00:18,959 --> 00:00:20,402 Okay. Ooh, your moustache tickles. 10 00:00:20,427 --> 00:00:22,405 Nice. I think I can work with that. 11 00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:24,810 - Have fun. - You too 12 00:00:24,835 --> 00:00:27,720 And don't work too hard. It's summer. 13 00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:32,503 ♪ You are in and I'm out for the count ♪ 14 00:00:32,528 --> 00:00:34,927 ♪ Unconditional love ♪ 15 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,925 ♪ Take me down, knock me out ♪ 16 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,551 ♪ Kiss me now but don't promise me ♪ 17 00:00:40,758 --> 00:00:43,125 We need to finalize the media plan 18 00:00:43,150 --> 00:00:44,967 on the next Annabelle Bancroft book. 19 00:00:44,992 --> 00:00:47,228 Oh, also, call Jackie Dunn's office and tell them 20 00:00:47,253 --> 00:00:48,910 I need to reschedule lunch on Tuesday. 21 00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:50,852 I can make the jitney if I leave at 1:00. 22 00:00:50,877 --> 00:00:52,244 Can you pick me up in Bridgehampton 23 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,402 across from Candy Kitchen? 24 00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:54,598 What are you wearing? 25 00:00:54,623 --> 00:00:57,056 It's summer Friday, lady. 26 00:00:57,536 --> 00:01:00,614 Ceci got us a table at Navy Beach, but I'm not eating. 27 00:01:00,639 --> 00:01:02,436 My God, I can smell her Banana Boat. 28 00:01:02,461 --> 00:01:04,507 Why do they even bother coming in at all? 29 00:01:05,163 --> 00:01:07,862 See if you can get on Charles’s schedule before lunch. 30 00:01:07,887 --> 00:01:09,832 He never signed off on my September budget. 31 00:01:09,857 --> 00:01:12,124 Oh, he left for Pound Ridge last night. 32 00:01:12,149 --> 00:01:13,635 Of course he did. 33 00:01:13,661 --> 00:01:16,445 [upbeat music] 34 00:01:16,691 --> 00:01:21,133 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:25,192 Hey, did you finish Colin's book? 36 00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:26,941 I was up half the night but only got through 37 00:01:26,966 --> 00:01:28,154 the first 700 pages. 38 00:01:28,179 --> 00:01:29,060 And what do you think? 39 00:01:29,085 --> 00:01:30,951 I mean, I know it could use some editing, 40 00:01:30,976 --> 00:01:33,232 but am I just being blinded by lust? 41 00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:34,860 Because I think it's pretty amazing. 42 00:01:34,885 --> 00:01:37,044 I mean, it's overwritten, but I still... 43 00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:38,349 I couldn't put it down. 44 00:01:38,374 --> 00:01:41,683 I mean, it's like a dystopian "Bonfire of the Vanities." 45 00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:42,938 Oh, my God. 46 00:01:42,963 --> 00:01:45,017 That's exactly how I would sell it. 47 00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:47,188 I'm just worried about the conflict of interest. 48 00:01:47,213 --> 00:01:49,169 Like, I don't want people to think that I'm buying the book 49 00:01:49,194 --> 00:01:51,430 because I'm sleeping with him, and I don't want to lose the 50 00:01:51,455 --> 00:01:52,333 book because I'm sleeping with him. 51 00:01:52,358 --> 00:01:54,162 Ah, the old Catch-69. 52 00:01:54,187 --> 00:01:55,671 Ohh, what am I gonna I do? 53 00:01:55,695 --> 00:01:58,446 Well, first, you need to own the fact that you're together. 54 00:01:58,471 --> 00:02:00,762 And then you've got to get Colin a good agent. 55 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,105 I mean, you may be screwing the guy, 56 00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:03,676 but you don't want to screw him. 57 00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:05,346 I do know just the person. 58 00:02:06,578 --> 00:02:09,632 How dare you call me about work on a summer Friday? 59 00:02:09,657 --> 00:02:12,448 I wouldn't unless it was something special. 60 00:02:12,473 --> 00:02:14,541 A have the new writer I want to talk to you about. 61 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,151 Well, is he hot? 62 00:02:16,176 --> 00:02:18,566 It's all about the jacket photo for a first-time novelist. 63 00:02:18,591 --> 00:02:20,888 I'm dating him, Redmond, so what do you think? 64 00:02:20,913 --> 00:02:23,113 Well, if you really want me to consider him, 65 00:02:23,138 --> 00:02:24,754 bring him to the Gansevoort rooftop. 66 00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:26,114 Half the publishing biz will be there 67 00:02:26,139 --> 00:02:27,504 for cocktails this afternoon. 68 00:02:27,529 --> 00:02:28,628 Oh, we'll be there. 69 00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:29,944 And send me the manuscript. 70 00:02:29,969 --> 00:02:31,258 Ugh. 71 00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:34,441 [upbeat music] 72 00:02:34,466 --> 00:02:41,336 ♪ ♪ 73 00:02:44,026 --> 00:02:45,559 Why do I need an agent? 74 00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:47,366 I already want to make a deal for my book with you. 75 00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:48,431 And you will. 76 00:02:48,456 --> 00:02:50,581 But I've got to keep this above board. 77 00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:53,635 And you need a someone on your side that has integrity, 78 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:55,064 somebody with a great reputation, 79 00:02:55,089 --> 00:02:56,188 someone that people respect. 80 00:02:56,213 --> 00:02:59,401 [gasps] Kelsey, sweetheart. 81 00:02:59,426 --> 00:03:01,117 - Really? - Trust me. 82 00:03:01,142 --> 00:03:04,875 Colin, this is Redmond, the best book agent in the business. 83 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,944 She flatters me, but she's not wrong. 84 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,203 Nice to meet you, Redmond. 85 00:03:09,228 --> 00:03:10,716 Colin, I'll be honest with you. 86 00:03:10,741 --> 00:03:13,260 If Kelsey hadn't slipped me your little Bildungsroman, 87 00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:15,090 it never would have made it out of my slush pile. 88 00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:17,940 But lucky for all of us, she did. 89 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,211 You've put a fun house mirror up to this city 90 00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:24,457 and our culture that's both hilarious and depressing, 91 00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:25,994 at least in the chapter I read. 92 00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:27,584 - Thank you. - Don't thank me. 93 00:03:27,609 --> 00:03:29,824 Thank the gorgeous editrix who discovered you. 94 00:03:29,849 --> 00:03:31,974 Thank you, gorgeous editrix. 95 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:34,773 Wait, does this mean you're going to represent the book? 96 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,170 Because you already have a buyer. 97 00:03:36,196 --> 00:03:39,367 If you want to talk business, get in the pool. 98 00:03:39,392 --> 00:03:41,821 Oh, see you in minute. 99 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,384 Um, we didn't bring swimsuits. 100 00:03:43,409 --> 00:03:46,829 No problem. They have them here. Come on. 101 00:03:47,706 --> 00:03:50,170 Hmm, what looks good? 102 00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:51,511 I'm not sure. 103 00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:54,136 I've never bought a bathing suit out of a vending machine before, 104 00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:55,827 let alone one that also sells condoms. 105 00:03:55,852 --> 00:03:57,418 - What about that one? - Seriously? 106 00:03:57,442 --> 00:03:59,256 I've already got some dental floss in my purse. 107 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:02,405 Oh, right. How's the, um, situation? 108 00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:04,445 - It's under control. - Okay. 109 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,553 Colin? 110 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,274 Can't I just swim in my boxers? 111 00:04:07,299 --> 00:04:09,145 [chuckles] My treat. 112 00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:11,692 How about the red one? 113 00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,833 Mm, don't do Speedos. 114 00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:17,002 It's amazing the things you'll do to live your dream. 115 00:04:17,027 --> 00:04:18,006 Right, Liza? 116 00:04:18,031 --> 00:04:20,441 Oh, absolutely. 117 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:26,051 Okay, I have never felt more naked in my entire life. 118 00:04:26,076 --> 00:04:27,676 Okay, well, you look amazing. 119 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,267 But whatever you do, just don't bend over. 120 00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:33,709 Wow, I... I thought this was a work event. 121 00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,597 Oh, we are definitely working it. 122 00:04:35,622 --> 00:04:37,852 - Hey, Kels. - Hey, Josh. 123 00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:39,359 Oh, this is Colin. 124 00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,255 Also working it. Don't judge. 125 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,400 Judging, yeah. 126 00:04:42,425 --> 00:04:44,225 Hey, we've got a deal to close. 127 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,759 - Okay. - Meet you in the pool. 128 00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:53,689 I mean, when I... when I see you wearing this, 129 00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:56,180 it just... it just make me want to... 130 00:04:56,205 --> 00:04:57,871 Okay. 131 00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,263 All right, we can talk about that later. 132 00:05:00,288 --> 00:05:02,974 Oh, we can, can we? 133 00:05:02,999 --> 00:05:04,614 We can talk. 134 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,453 Vending machine's that way. 135 00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:08,472 Okay. 136 00:05:09,563 --> 00:05:12,716 All right, okay. 137 00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:15,030 [laughs] 138 00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:17,060 Whoo. 139 00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:19,899 Ugh, I hate summer. 140 00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:22,978 Everyone's in the Hamptons or the Vineyard, 141 00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,910 and here I am talking to you. 142 00:05:25,582 --> 00:05:27,722 My entire weekend is like a desert, 143 00:05:27,747 --> 00:05:29,580 except with 90% humidity. 144 00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:30,731 Mm. 145 00:05:30,756 --> 00:05:34,671 Honestly, I just lie around in bed all weekend reading, 146 00:05:34,697 --> 00:05:36,519 bingeing "Frasier" reruns 147 00:05:36,909 --> 00:05:38,715 until it's time to go back to work on Monday. 148 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:39,608 I feel pathetic. 149 00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:41,661 Well, you could rent a place in the Hamptons. 150 00:05:41,686 --> 00:05:42,960 Have you consider that? 151 00:05:42,985 --> 00:05:44,818 A single woman renting in the Hamptons? 152 00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,025 Well, that may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. 153 00:05:47,051 --> 00:05:49,018 You're alone out of choice, Diana. 154 00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:50,175 Excuse me? 155 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,434 You've filtered so many men. 156 00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:53,925 And you have so many rules. 157 00:05:54,036 --> 00:05:55,402 You mean standards. 158 00:05:55,427 --> 00:05:58,536 No, I mean barriers to intimacy. 159 00:05:58,814 --> 00:06:01,215 Look, we can sit here, and we can talk and talk and talk, 160 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,773 but the story doesn't change. 161 00:06:02,798 --> 00:06:04,444 And whose fault is that? 162 00:06:04,469 --> 00:06:07,434 Instead of pointing fingers, why don't we try pointing 163 00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:08,827 in the direction of a solution? 164 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:09,834 Oh, well, by all means. 165 00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:11,860 Get out there. Take a few swings. 166 00:06:11,885 --> 00:06:14,297 The next attractive man you see, talk to him. 167 00:06:14,322 --> 00:06:15,522 Ask him out for coffee. 168 00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,062 Is this the Freudian approach? 169 00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:19,472 Or did you just see this on "Millionaire Matchmaker"? 170 00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,512 I hear that you're frustrated. 171 00:06:21,537 --> 00:06:24,593 But your frustration has become your comfort zone. 172 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,668 Okay, think of this as an experiment. 173 00:06:26,693 --> 00:06:28,989 Talk to the next interesting man you meet 174 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,929 and observe what happens. 175 00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:32,585 Oh. 176 00:06:33,673 --> 00:06:35,138 We'll see. 177 00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:37,713 I'm not letting you off the hook on this one. 178 00:06:38,438 --> 00:06:40,071 Fine. 179 00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,722 Nothing like starting the weekend after a good cry with 180 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,242 your therapist, am I right? 181 00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:57,589 Actually, I am a therapist. 182 00:06:57,615 --> 00:06:58,962 Marriage and Family. 183 00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:00,390 Office next door. 184 00:07:00,415 --> 00:07:02,381 Oh, well, 185 00:07:02,406 --> 00:07:04,825 I always heard that shrinks were the crazy ones. 186 00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:07,045 Especially the ones on East 65th Street. 187 00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:09,207 We're in a class of our own. 188 00:07:09,653 --> 00:07:12,141 I hope you're sane enough to leave the city this weekend. 189 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,699 It's supposed to be almost 100. 190 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,813 Oof, my ex-wife got the house in Woodstock, 191 00:07:16,838 --> 00:07:19,651 so I've learned to love summer in the city. 192 00:07:19,676 --> 00:07:21,930 I think it's kind of sexy, actually. 193 00:07:21,955 --> 00:07:23,710 Especially at night. 194 00:07:23,904 --> 00:07:26,140 I like your perspective. 195 00:07:26,748 --> 00:07:28,264 Diana, by the way. 196 00:07:28,289 --> 00:07:29,355 Richard. 197 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,315 [quirky upbeat music] 198 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,618 ♪ ♪ 199 00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:36,206 Stop me if I'm being too forward, 200 00:07:36,231 --> 00:07:39,586 but would you care to join me for a coffee? 201 00:07:40,051 --> 00:07:42,464 You're asking me for a coffee? 202 00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:44,129 Are you serious? 203 00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:46,831 I mean, in this heat? 204 00:07:47,144 --> 00:07:49,280 How about a beer? 205 00:07:51,564 --> 00:07:53,514 Sounds perfect. 206 00:07:55,757 --> 00:07:57,435 [laughter] 207 00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:59,366 To my newest client. 208 00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,319 - Yay. - Ow. 209 00:08:01,344 --> 00:08:04,824 Redmond, I'm going to ask Liza to make the deal on this one. 210 00:08:04,849 --> 00:08:06,162 Seriously? 211 00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:08,998 Yeah, I'm gonna stay out of it due to extreme prejudice. 212 00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:10,549 Get ready to bend over. 213 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,951 That's what I've keep telling her. 214 00:08:11,976 --> 00:08:13,342 Hey. 215 00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:14,741 Babe. 216 00:08:14,766 --> 00:08:17,554 Emily, get over here and meet my genius new client. 217 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,255 You ladies know Emily Burns from EW? 218 00:08:20,279 --> 00:08:22,757 Liza, it's me. 219 00:08:22,783 --> 00:08:24,000 Jackie Dunn's old assistant. 220 00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,053 I work at EW now. 221 00:08:25,078 --> 00:08:26,513 Emily, that's fantastic. 222 00:08:26,538 --> 00:08:28,854 This is Kelsey Peters. She runs Millennial Print. 223 00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,797 - Hey. - Oh, my God, respect. 224 00:08:30,822 --> 00:08:32,821 I have heard such great things about your imprint. 225 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,839 Oh, thank you. 226 00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:36,038 Also, I heard about what happened to your fiancé. 227 00:08:36,064 --> 00:08:38,027 You must have been crushed. 228 00:08:38,378 --> 00:08:40,488 I apologize. Terrible choice of words. 229 00:08:40,513 --> 00:08:43,020 Wow, Emily, meet Colin McNichol, 230 00:08:43,046 --> 00:08:45,264 Kelsey's hottest new author. 231 00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:47,158 And his book's not bad either. 232 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,273 EW should totally do something about Millennial. 233 00:08:50,298 --> 00:08:51,903 You guys should come to the office Monday 234 00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:53,109 and meet my boss, Jess Cagle. 235 00:08:53,134 --> 00:08:55,201 - Absolutely. - Oh, we'd love to. 236 00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:56,366 Liza, I'll email you. 237 00:08:56,392 --> 00:08:58,256 Are you still Dianatroutassistant@empirical? 238 00:08:58,281 --> 00:09:01,366 - Yeah. - Oh, and Lmiller@millennial. 239 00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:03,278 Awesome. 240 00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,555 - EW. - Oh, my God. 241 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,215 Both: Ahh. 242 00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:08,868 Kiss each other. 243 00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,036 What? 244 00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:14,751 [upbeat music] 245 00:09:16,186 --> 00:09:19,454 I've prepared Millennial's offer for Colin's book. 246 00:09:19,479 --> 00:09:21,446 You want to take a look before I send it to Redmond? 247 00:09:21,471 --> 00:09:22,570 Yes. 248 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,496 We're offering a $75,000 advance 249 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,355 with a standard royalty rate, plus bonuses if the book hits 250 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,446 "The New York Times" best seller list or earns out 251 00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:32,152 its advance within a year of publication. 252 00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:34,231 It's all pretty great for a first-time writer 253 00:09:34,256 --> 00:09:36,921 but nothing that crosses the line. 254 00:09:37,196 --> 00:09:38,729 Perfect. 255 00:09:38,754 --> 00:09:40,734 Thank you for looking out for me. 256 00:09:40,759 --> 00:09:41,723 Always. 257 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,085 Hey do you think that you can slip away for that EW meeting? 258 00:09:44,111 --> 00:09:45,955 Yeah, Diana's seeing her therapist. 259 00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,065 I have 50 minutes. 260 00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,714 [rock music] 261 00:09:49,738 --> 00:09:51,771 ♪ ♪ 262 00:09:52,032 --> 00:09:55,172 Hi, Kelsey Peters and Liza Miller from Millennial. 263 00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:57,364 We have an appointment with Jess Cagle. 264 00:09:57,488 --> 00:10:00,653 - Hey, what's up? - I slipped the manuscript to a 265 00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:02,155 producer friend of mine at Paramount. 266 00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,271 And he thinks it's perfect for Scott Rudin. 267 00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:05,829 How fast can you get me your offer? 268 00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,284 Liza can send it over now. 269 00:10:07,308 --> 00:10:08,289 [silently] Okay. 270 00:10:08,314 --> 00:10:11,528 We are just at EW about to meet with Jess Cagle. 271 00:10:11,553 --> 00:10:13,986 Go, girl, and tell Jess I'm available 272 00:10:14,011 --> 00:10:15,717 if He needs a date for the Oscars. 273 00:10:15,742 --> 00:10:17,948 - [laughs] - Hi guys. 274 00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:19,690 Jess will see you now. 275 00:10:19,715 --> 00:10:22,323 - Thanks. - Okay. 276 00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:26,167 We are a baby imprint, less than year old, 277 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,341 targeting millennials. 278 00:10:27,366 --> 00:10:28,951 That's why they're called Millennial. 279 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,839 But the main story is that Kelsey is the youngest woman 280 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,403 in the business to be running her own imprint. 281 00:10:34,428 --> 00:10:36,595 - That's interesting. - Really interesting. 282 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:39,156 - Really interesting. - Any big books coming out? 283 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:42,429 Actually, we just bought a book from this incredible young 284 00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:44,110 "New Yorker" writer, Colin McNichol. 285 00:10:44,135 --> 00:10:47,332 It's this brilliant dystopian epic about New York. 286 00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:48,968 Cool. 287 00:10:49,543 --> 00:10:53,244 It's, um, like "Bonfire of the Vanities" 288 00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:54,995 meets "The Walking Dead." 289 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,486 Are there zombies? 290 00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:59,471 Yes. And they occupy Wall Street. 291 00:10:59,497 --> 00:11:03,133 I shouldn't say anything else, but Scott Rudin loves it, 292 00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:05,891 and Paramount's already talking a three-picture deal. 293 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,163 Send us the manuscript. 294 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:10,189 Maybe we can do something online about the book and Millennial. 295 00:11:10,214 --> 00:11:12,020 - We really should. - Wonderful. 296 00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:14,844 Get the press kit and bios and galleys, 297 00:11:14,869 --> 00:11:16,435 and we'll see what we can do. 298 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,324 Thank you. It was so nice to meet you. 299 00:11:18,349 --> 00:11:19,892 Thank you so much. 300 00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:22,357 Oh, my God. 301 00:11:22,884 --> 00:11:25,342 Zombies? A three-picture deal? 302 00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:26,919 I don't... I know I just blurted it out. 303 00:11:26,944 --> 00:11:28,824 It's like a got EW-titis or something. 304 00:11:28,849 --> 00:11:31,428 Well, sometimes you need to stretch the truth a little 305 00:11:31,453 --> 00:11:33,403 to get what you want. 306 00:11:36,934 --> 00:11:39,928 So I took your advice, 307 00:11:39,953 --> 00:11:43,688 left the office, and struck up a conversation 308 00:11:43,713 --> 00:11:44,927 with an attractive man. 309 00:11:44,952 --> 00:11:47,295 Wonderful. Wonderful. How did it go? 310 00:11:47,319 --> 00:11:49,097 Surprisingly well. 311 00:11:49,997 --> 00:11:53,672 We went out for drinks, and he introduced me 312 00:11:53,697 --> 00:11:55,167 to the Moscow Mule. 313 00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:57,183 It's a delightful cocktail. 314 00:11:57,207 --> 00:11:59,159 Sounds like you had a nice time. 315 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,484 Yes, I did. 316 00:12:00,509 --> 00:12:02,042 I think you may actually know him. 317 00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:02,852 Do I? 318 00:12:02,877 --> 00:12:04,584 Yes, it's Richard Caldwell, 319 00:12:04,608 --> 00:12:06,359 the therapist in the office next door. 320 00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:08,870 You went out for a drink with Dr. Caldwell? 321 00:12:09,516 --> 00:12:11,989 I... I find that very inappropriate. 322 00:12:12,014 --> 00:12:13,430 Oh, you may not know. 323 00:12:13,455 --> 00:12:15,721 He's recently separated from his wife, so... 324 00:12:15,746 --> 00:12:17,707 Oh, yeah, I know. She threw him out. 325 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,516 Excuse me. 326 00:12:22,601 --> 00:12:25,198 Uh, yeah, all right. 327 00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,382 Excuse me, I'm in session. 328 00:12:33,407 --> 00:12:35,443 How dare you proposition one of my patients 329 00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:36,654 right outside of my office. 330 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,762 I should file an ethics complaint with the APA. 331 00:12:38,787 --> 00:12:41,197 [laughs] I'm amazed you still have a license at all 332 00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:43,405 considering you were arrested for shoplifting. 333 00:12:43,431 --> 00:12:44,767 You sleep here. In your office. 334 00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:45,640 Only temporarily. 335 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,168 You wash your hair in the sink. 336 00:12:47,193 --> 00:12:48,801 - It's appalling. - At least I have hair. 337 00:12:48,826 --> 00:12:50,607 Men, men, don't fight. 338 00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,465 Okay, that's it. That's it. I'm telling management. 339 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,290 You can't sleep in your office; you're violating the 340 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,346 terms of your lease. 341 00:12:55,371 --> 00:12:57,096 Paul, there's nothing more pathetic 342 00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:58,396 than an adult tattletale. 343 00:12:58,421 --> 00:13:01,133 No, what's pathetic is picking up a needy, vulnerable patient 344 00:13:01,158 --> 00:13:02,197 outside my office. 345 00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:05,673 To be fair, I did engage him in conversation on your advice. 346 00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:08,065 Diana, you have self-esteem and body image issues. 347 00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,470 None of this is your fault. 348 00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:11,495 However, if you continue to see Richard, 349 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,520 our therapeutic relationship is over. 350 00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,858 I understand. 351 00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:20,269 [upbeat music] 352 00:13:20,294 --> 00:13:26,501 ♪ ♪ 353 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,905 I wasn't making much progress with him anyways. 354 00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:31,323 ♪ ♪ 355 00:13:31,426 --> 00:13:33,393 ♪ Now baby, baby, baby ♪ 356 00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:35,392 ♪ Don't you try to run those game on me ♪ 357 00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,155 ♪ I'm two steps ahead of you ♪ 358 00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,601 I'm worried about Kelsey. 359 00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:40,601 You know, she's going a little off the rails for this guy. 360 00:13:40,626 --> 00:13:42,328 I mean, the way she's hyping him... 361 00:13:42,617 --> 00:13:45,021 Hey, a little hype never hurts. 362 00:13:45,046 --> 00:13:47,477 Honestly, I'm not sure the book's that great. 363 00:13:47,502 --> 00:13:49,802 I mean, the characters are relatable, 364 00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:52,800 but the writing is all over the place. 365 00:13:52,826 --> 00:13:55,835 [laughs] That feels so good. 366 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,461 You're so slippery. 367 00:13:58,486 --> 00:14:00,690 I'm slippery. 368 00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:04,344 You know, I could just slip it in right now. 369 00:14:04,369 --> 00:14:06,517 Just keep doing what you're doing. 370 00:14:06,543 --> 00:14:08,657 Don't knock it till you try it. 371 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:13,650 You know, it can be mind-blowing for both of us. 372 00:14:13,675 --> 00:14:15,329 Actually, you know what? I have tried it. 373 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,518 - What? - With my ex-husband. 374 00:14:16,543 --> 00:14:18,368 - Seriously? - Yeah. 375 00:14:18,393 --> 00:14:20,509 You know, when you've been married long enough, 376 00:14:20,534 --> 00:14:22,606 you try everything out of pure boredom. 377 00:14:22,631 --> 00:14:24,030 Do you know what I'm talking about here? 378 00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:26,860 Josh, your generation didn't invent anal sex. 379 00:14:26,884 --> 00:14:28,837 You just invented talking about it all the time. 380 00:14:28,863 --> 00:14:31,326 - Forget it. - Oh, sorry. 381 00:14:31,351 --> 00:14:32,973 It's just not my thing. 382 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,430 Is it really that big of a deal? 383 00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:39,879 No, I... I just feel like I can't compete 384 00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:41,812 with all the years you were married. 385 00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:46,349 You know, nothing we do is ever gonna be new for you. 386 00:14:46,374 --> 00:14:47,895 That's not true. 387 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,196 Come on. 388 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,171 I think it is. 389 00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:55,355 I'm never gonna be your first time for anything. 390 00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:03,045 [upbeat jazzy music] 391 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:09,207 ♪ ♪ 392 00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:11,052 Good morning. 393 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,409 Coffee's ready. 394 00:15:12,434 --> 00:15:14,182 Scrambled okay? 395 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,952 Yes, that would be nice. 396 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,854 I can't believe I slept so late, 397 00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:24,325 but then I remembered that we had quite a workout. 398 00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,250 Yes, we did. 399 00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:30,197 So I just heard from the landlord of my building. 400 00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:33,948 - They're evicting me. - What? 401 00:15:34,245 --> 00:15:36,935 Yes, that passive-aggressive prick 402 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,481 also known as your therapist blew the whistle on me 403 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,053 about sleeping in my office. 404 00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:43,833 Richard, I'm so sorry. I feel so responsible. 405 00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:45,896 You have absolutely zero culpability. 406 00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:48,214 - These were my choices. - Thank you. 407 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,216 I was wondering though if you wouldn't mind if I stayed here 408 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:55,327 for a few days, just until I find another place. 409 00:15:55,675 --> 00:15:59,910 Uh, well, I don't know. 410 00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:02,165 We just met, so... 411 00:16:02,203 --> 00:16:04,129 I completely understand. 412 00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:05,873 I'll be out of your hair this morning. 413 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,288 Thank you. 414 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,323 You know what I love to do over breakfast? 415 00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:14,621 Talk about dreams, while they're still fresh. 416 00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:16,641 You want me to tell you my dreams? 417 00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,714 Indulge me? 418 00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:22,584 All right, let's see. 419 00:16:22,609 --> 00:16:25,553 Oh, I was on a stage 420 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,151 shopping for a couch... oh, but for my old apartment... 421 00:16:29,176 --> 00:16:32,093 And somehow it was raining. 422 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:36,418 Oh, oh, and I was also in the audience watching myself. 423 00:16:36,443 --> 00:16:39,219 Wow, so much to unpack here. 424 00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:41,533 The stage is your consciousness. 425 00:16:41,743 --> 00:16:43,543 And that old soggy couch, 426 00:16:43,568 --> 00:16:46,543 that's your past you don't want to let go of. 427 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,975 But I do want to let go. 428 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,473 [chuckles] 429 00:16:54,949 --> 00:16:58,284 I am happy to stay have you stay for a few days. 430 00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,801 Whatever you want. 431 00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:02,090 ♪ ♪ 432 00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:09,108 [upbeat music] 433 00:17:09,356 --> 00:17:11,033 [phone chimes] 434 00:17:11,057 --> 00:17:13,747 _ 435 00:17:15,788 --> 00:17:20,909 _ 436 00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:25,373 _ 437 00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:29,594 Hey, how was your weekend in Fire Island? 438 00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:33,858 Well, I missed the ferry to Cherry Grove. 439 00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:36,072 So I had to get off at the Pines. 440 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,430 What a nightmare. 441 00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:38,357 Why? 442 00:17:38,382 --> 00:17:40,766 Well, Cherry Grove is the girls' side of the island. 443 00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,636 The Pines is the boys' side. 444 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:45,682 Oh, so you got off at the Pines dressed as a man. 445 00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:47,052 That must have been interesting. 446 00:17:47,077 --> 00:17:48,648 You have no idea. 447 00:17:48,673 --> 00:17:51,415 I had to trek through the meat rack to get home. 448 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,858 - The meat rack? - Use your imagination. 449 00:17:53,883 --> 00:17:56,017 Anyway, this a horny guy started to follow me, 450 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,675 so I had to rip my shirt off to scare him away. 451 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,657 Oh, yeah, I guess the last thing anybody wants to see 452 00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:01,159 is a rack in the rack. 453 00:18:01,184 --> 00:18:03,882 [laughs] So how was your night with Josh? 454 00:18:03,907 --> 00:18:06,518 Well, it started with a massage 455 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,097 and ended with me leaving. 456 00:18:08,122 --> 00:18:09,825 What happened? Did you have a fight? 457 00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:10,932 Yeah. 458 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,469 I mean, on the surface, it was about sex, 459 00:18:12,494 --> 00:18:15,868 but really it was about Josh having a hard time with the idea 460 00:18:15,893 --> 00:18:18,160 that I've had this whole life before him. 461 00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:20,845 Mm, I mean, the sex I can work with, 462 00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:23,781 but the fact that you've had a life before you met him 463 00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:25,558 is just something that he's gonna have to deal with. 464 00:18:25,583 --> 00:18:28,292 Yeah, I think I know what I need to do. 465 00:18:30,036 --> 00:18:33,004 [upbeat music] 466 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:36,117 ♪ ♪ 467 00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:39,906 Hey, you are not going to believe this, 468 00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:42,763 but EW online just ran an article on Millennial, 469 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,250 and included a big excerpt from Colin's book. 470 00:18:46,274 --> 00:18:48,309 Oh, my God. Amazing. 471 00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:50,173 They must have really loved his book over there. 472 00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,553 They write about him like he's the next big thing. 473 00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:54,612 You trusted your gut on this guy. 474 00:18:54,637 --> 00:18:55,861 I'm proud of you. 475 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,038 Thanks. Can you cover my phone? 476 00:18:58,063 --> 00:18:59,741 I'm gonna go over to his place to celebrate. 477 00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,938 - Yeah, absolutely. - Okay. 478 00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:03,330 Awesome. 479 00:19:03,355 --> 00:19:06,344 [upbeat music] 480 00:19:06,369 --> 00:19:13,790 ♪ ♪ 481 00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:15,851 - Hey. - Hey. 482 00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:17,042 Did you see EW? 483 00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:20,368 - I just did. - [laughs] 484 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,728 ♪ ♪ 485 00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,502 Congratulations. 486 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,789 Are you sure you still want to celebrate with me? 487 00:19:27,814 --> 00:19:29,491 What do you mean? 488 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:31,182 Oh, I guess you haven't talked to Redmond yet. 489 00:19:31,207 --> 00:19:34,526 No, why? 490 00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:39,104 Random House just offered me 1.2 million for the book. 491 00:19:40,288 --> 00:19:41,671 Wait. We have a deal. 492 00:19:41,695 --> 00:19:43,562 I just sent it to Redmond yesterday. 493 00:19:43,587 --> 00:19:44,909 I know. 494 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,667 But nothing's been signed yet. 495 00:19:46,692 --> 00:19:49,880 Colin, Millennial can't match that offer. 496 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,203 Excuse me. 497 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,107 Kels... 498 00:20:04,165 --> 00:20:05,831 What the hell, Redmond? 499 00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:09,182 Kelsey, I was just going to call you. 500 00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:10,567 We had a deal. 501 00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:13,768 No, you made an offer, and you asked me to be fair. 502 00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:16,529 1.2 million? How did that even happen? 503 00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:19,491 Well, after that EW article hit, there was a feeding frenzy. 504 00:20:19,516 --> 00:20:22,318 Why did you give them the book without a signed deal? 505 00:20:22,343 --> 00:20:25,005 You created this monster, Kels. 506 00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:28,152 And as his agent, it is my fiduciary responsibility 507 00:20:28,178 --> 00:20:29,443 to get him the best deal. 508 00:20:29,468 --> 00:20:30,770 This is not fair. 509 00:20:30,795 --> 00:20:33,444 No it isn't fair. It's business. 510 00:20:33,469 --> 00:20:35,685 Go to Charles and ask him if he'll go to 1.3. 511 00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:37,677 I won't, and I can't. 512 00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:39,242 You stabbed me in the back. 513 00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,046 No, I did my job. 514 00:20:41,071 --> 00:20:43,027 You overshared. 515 00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:52,695 You made this happen for me, Kels, all right? 516 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,187 I won't take another offer, no matter what Redmond says. 517 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,331 And I wouldn't be here at all without you. 518 00:20:57,356 --> 00:21:01,102 No, I'm not going to let you miss out on this. 519 00:21:03,286 --> 00:21:05,588 I would never hold you back. 520 00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:12,939 - Whoa. - [laughs] 521 00:21:18,675 --> 00:21:24,317 ♪ Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising ♪ 522 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,285 ♪ Higher, higher ♪ 523 00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:32,686 ♪ It's burning through to my soul ♪ 524 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:39,712 ♪ Girl, girl, girl, girl you gonna set me on fire ♪ 525 00:21:39,878 --> 00:21:41,771 Just relax. 526 00:21:41,796 --> 00:21:45,811 Don't fight it. Don't tense up. 527 00:21:46,154 --> 00:21:48,975 You're just gonna feel a little prick. 528 00:21:49,596 --> 00:21:50,840 It's okay. 529 00:21:50,865 --> 00:21:52,140 I've given birth. 530 00:21:52,165 --> 00:21:53,689 [laughs] 531 00:21:53,714 --> 00:21:56,347 ♪ Like the sweet song of a choir ♪ 532 00:21:56,371 --> 00:21:58,476 [tattoo needle buzzing] 533 00:21:58,501 --> 00:22:00,485 Ow, ow, ow, ow. Don't... 534 00:22:00,511 --> 00:22:03,367 Speak now. Are you sure you like it? 535 00:22:03,392 --> 00:22:04,659 [sighs] 536 00:22:04,683 --> 00:22:06,204 I love it. 537 00:22:06,239 --> 00:22:07,682 It's us. 538 00:22:07,707 --> 00:22:09,892 Living in the now. 539 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:15,526 So when we're together, it's like time has stopped. 540 00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:17,623 [tattoo needle buzzing] 541 00:22:17,648 --> 00:22:21,705 ♪ You light my morning sky with burning love ♪ 542 00:22:21,730 --> 00:22:24,976 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -