1
00:00:05,154 --> 00:00:07,598
Okay, not a word about anything.

2
00:00:07,623 --> 00:00:09,007
Final decision.

3
00:00:09,032 --> 00:00:11,236
Five minutes ago she was
in the circle of trust.

4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,141
- _
- What just happened?

5
00:00:12,166 --> 00:00:13,396
Caitlin's gonna have enough

6
00:00:13,421 --> 00:00:15,364
cultural shock coming home
without having to hear that

7
00:00:15,389 --> 00:00:16,824
her mother has a completely new identity.

8
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,552
And definitely don't mention Josh.

9
00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:20,192
I don't even know what's
going on with you two.

10
00:00:20,217 --> 00:00:22,100
Mm, things are weird now
that he knows that I'm 40.

11
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:23,909
J-Lo's in her 40s, and everybody

12
00:00:23,934 --> 00:00:26,012
in their right mind's trying
to make it work with her.

13
00:00:26,037 --> 00:00:28,545
- 'Cause she's J-Lo.
- You're as hot as J-Lo.

14
00:00:28,569 --> 00:00:30,436
Well, you're as hot as Megan Fox.

15
00:00:30,461 --> 00:00:33,256
Hon, let's never stop
lying to each other, okay.

16
00:00:34,388 --> 00:00:35,578
- Caitlin!
- All: Hi!

17
00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:37,988
- Hi!
- Hi, Caitlin!

18
00:00:38,013 --> 00:00:39,842
Oh, I've missed you so much.

19
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,495
Ah, hi Mom. Hi Maggie.

20
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:42,845
- Hi, give me a kiss.
- Wow...

21
00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:44,538
- Both: Muah!
- Someone needs a shower.

22
00:00:44,563 --> 00:00:46,522
- I got it.
- Mom, don't be so Western.

23
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,331
All right. This is how human beings smell.

24
00:00:48,356 --> 00:00:49,836
Oh... okay.

25
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,608
Mom, I know it's only 9:00 a.m.,

26
00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:57,169
but can we order pizza?

27
00:00:57,194 --> 00:00:59,965
Seriously, I've been having
erotic dreams about pizza.

28
00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:01,962
Like, I'm about to kiss a boy

29
00:01:01,987 --> 00:01:04,438
and then his tongue
just turns into a slice.

30
00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:06,469
Well, girl, you're back
in the land of Seamless

31
00:01:06,494 --> 00:01:08,377
where you can order the pizza and the boy.

32
00:01:08,379 --> 00:01:09,495
Yes.

33
00:01:09,497 --> 00:01:11,164
Honey, will you sit down for a second?

34
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:13,465
I want to share something with you.

35
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,618
Okay.

36
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:18,041
So while you've been in India,

37
00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:23,122
I've been going through a
bit of an identity issue.

38
00:01:23,147 --> 00:01:25,002
Mm.

39
00:01:25,266 --> 00:01:27,149
Gay or transitioning?

40
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,092
- What?
- Into a man?

41
00:01:29,168 --> 00:01:30,617
No. Why would you go there?

42
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:33,123
Because you're tall, and Dad
always said you had man hands.

43
00:01:33,148 --> 00:01:35,433
- When did he say that?
- I wouldn't care.

44
00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:37,075
In India, they're known as<i> hijras,</i>

45
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,409
and they're very accepted.

46
00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:40,984
They're even legally
recognized as a third gender

47
00:01:41,009 --> 00:01:42,071
on their passports, so.

48
00:01:42,096 --> 00:01:43,145
Okay, that's good to know,

49
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,586
but that's not my issue.

50
00:01:44,611 --> 00:01:45,931
What is it, then?

51
00:01:45,956 --> 00:01:48,035
The issue is...

52
00:01:48,624 --> 00:01:50,611
No.

53
00:01:51,734 --> 00:01:53,955
- Brooklyn.
- What?

54
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:56,956
Yes. Yes, that's it. I love it.

55
00:01:56,981 --> 00:02:01,100
I love it, and I just don't
identify with New Jersey

56
00:02:01,102 --> 00:02:03,146
the way that I used to.

57
00:02:03,278 --> 00:02:04,944
Well, Mom, that's really nice,

58
00:02:04,969 --> 00:02:07,086
but right now I need to sleep excessively.

59
00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,900
Like, for a week.

60
00:02:08,925 --> 00:02:12,427
All right, can you please
deliver the pizza to my bedroom?

61
00:02:12,452 --> 00:02:14,702
Thank you.

62
00:02:14,929 --> 00:02:16,512
Wow, if she was okay with a sex change,

63
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,031
maybe this won't be such a big deal.

64
00:02:22,014 --> 00:02:26,214
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

65
00:02:27,936 --> 00:02:30,887
So I'm about to pitch a
book at morning meeting.

66
00:02:30,912 --> 00:02:32,545
And I need your opinion. Sure.

67
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,270
It's a Tumblr that's being shopped around.

68
00:02:34,295 --> 00:02:35,460
And...

69
00:02:35,485 --> 00:02:38,166
You got to tell me if you think I'm crazy.

70
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,200
What do you think?

71
00:02:42,225 --> 00:02:45,719
Uh... so many things.

72
00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:47,659
Come on.

73
00:02:47,684 --> 00:02:49,052
Wha...

74
00:02:49,077 --> 00:02:50,220
Oh, my God.

75
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:51,271
_

76
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,680
It's one of the most
popular Tumblrs out there,

77
00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:56,739
written by a woman who's a
freelance writer at "Jezebel."

78
00:02:57,448 --> 00:02:59,679
_

79
00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:04,583
_

80
00:03:04,607 --> 00:03:06,098
_

81
00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:07,477
- Oh...
- Excuse me.

82
00:03:07,502 --> 00:03:09,252
How exactly is this a book?

83
00:03:09,254 --> 00:03:11,637
It's pornographic Internet nonsense.

84
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,591
I mean, I wouldn't exactly
classify oral sex as pornography

85
00:03:15,593 --> 00:03:17,323
unless you're trying to throw us back

86
00:03:17,348 --> 00:03:19,228
to the "Let's ban 'Lolita'" era.

87
00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:21,264
It's a list. It's not literature.

88
00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:23,911
I agree, but it is a fun, silly book

89
00:03:23,936 --> 00:03:25,413
that will sell

90
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,753
to a young audience,
which is what we're after.

91
00:03:27,778 --> 00:03:29,879
Liza? Uh, yes.

92
00:03:29,904 --> 00:03:33,176
I mean, it's like, uh,
"Goodnight Moon" for adults...

93
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,671
- With blowjobs.
- Yes.

94
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:35,950
Charles?

95
00:03:35,975 --> 00:03:38,011
I'd at least like to see
some more positive thoughts.

96
00:03:38,036 --> 00:03:39,529
Oh, of course. Um...

97
00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,364
- _
- Number 69.

98
00:03:42,747 --> 00:03:44,415
Okay, that's a start.

99
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,313
You're not seriously entertaining this?

100
00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:51,453
Well, it is entertaining,

101
00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:54,157
but I'm not sure I can see it in the place

102
00:03:54,182 --> 00:03:56,060
that J.D. Salinger once called home.

103
00:03:56,085 --> 00:03:57,584
Oh, thank God.

104
00:03:57,609 --> 00:03:59,595
Will I see you at the Bobby
Flay meeting this afternoon?

105
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:00,819
He's shopping his new cookbook.

106
00:04:00,844 --> 00:04:02,128
I think it's important you say hello.

107
00:04:02,153 --> 00:04:03,589
Damn, I forgot to mention Bobby wanted

108
00:04:03,614 --> 00:04:05,186
to move the meeting to his restaurant.

109
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,162
Um, can you make that dinner tonight?

110
00:04:08,187 --> 00:04:12,265
Um... I will have to check my calendar.

111
00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:15,593
Probably have to rearrange
a bunch of things, but...

112
00:04:15,618 --> 00:04:17,520
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

113
00:04:23,786 --> 00:04:26,570
Liza, get in here, and shut the door.

114
00:04:29,057 --> 00:04:30,704
Is something wrong?

115
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,135
Charles just asked me to dinner.

116
00:04:33,389 --> 00:04:34,555
He did?

117
00:04:34,580 --> 00:04:36,112
Yes, at Bobby Flay's restaurant.

118
00:04:36,137 --> 00:04:37,978
We're going to meet him
about his new cookbook.

119
00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:40,434
Oh, so it's a business dinner.

120
00:04:40,459 --> 00:04:43,156
Are you suggesting I
think it's something more?

121
00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:44,680
Of course not.

122
00:04:44,682 --> 00:04:46,933
I need you to download the menu
and wine and cocktail list,

123
00:04:46,935 --> 00:04:49,235
and make sure the barman knows
how to make a dry Negroni.

124
00:04:49,237 --> 00:04:50,467
Absolutely.

125
00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:51,992
And call Davide at
Barney's. He has my sizes.

126
00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:53,833
I need something simple and stunning.

127
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,575
Calling.

128
00:04:55,577 --> 00:04:57,952
I'm gonna show him what a
perfect power couple we can be.

129
00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:04,260
Nice try in there.

130
00:05:04,285 --> 00:05:07,109
I just don't think it's Empirical.

131
00:05:07,134 --> 00:05:10,221
I don't think you realize
how commercial this is.

132
00:05:10,246 --> 00:05:11,946
Swing and a miss.

133
00:05:11,971 --> 00:05:15,453
Just, uh, just keep looking
for the next Bjornberg.

134
00:05:22,776 --> 00:05:26,499
So a Brunello Di Montalcino
is aged at least four years,

135
00:05:26,524 --> 00:05:29,642
where a Rosso Di Montalcino
is much younger and cheaper.

136
00:05:29,644 --> 00:05:31,527
I think I like the Rosso better.

137
00:05:31,529 --> 00:05:32,895
Are you in the wine business?

138
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:35,565
No, I just drink a lot of it.

139
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:37,700
Okay, who's over 21 here?

140
00:05:37,702 --> 00:05:39,227
- Hi, Mrs. Miller.
- Hi, Mom.

141
00:05:39,252 --> 00:05:40,112
We're not drinking.

142
00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:41,470
We're just having a wine tasting.

143
00:05:41,495 --> 00:05:43,242
Mm, Caitlin, why didn't you tell me

144
00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:44,707
Padma and Michaela were coming for dinner?

145
00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:46,123
Oh, no, Mom, you don't have to cook.

146
00:05:46,148 --> 00:05:47,938
- We're going out.
- We missed out girl.

147
00:05:47,963 --> 00:05:49,745
We drove in from New
Jersey to surprise her.

148
00:05:49,770 --> 00:05:50,756
Where are you guys gonna go?

149
00:05:50,781 --> 00:05:53,498
Uh, we're meeting some of
Michaela's friends from NYU.

150
00:05:53,523 --> 00:05:55,111
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

151
00:05:55,136 --> 00:05:56,469
- Yeah. Okay.
- Love you, Mom.

152
00:05:56,471 --> 00:05:58,087
- Love you too.
- Thanks for the wine tasting.

153
00:05:58,089 --> 00:05:59,245
- We won't be out too late.
- Nice to meet you.

154
00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:00,024
- We love your art.
- Thank you.

155
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,452
- Bye, Maggie.
- Ciao.

156
00:06:01,477 --> 00:06:03,427
- Be safe.
- Ugh, so cute.

157
00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:05,377
Okay, what just happened there?

158
00:06:05,402 --> 00:06:06,993
Uh, that's your daughter having a life.

159
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,547
I suggest you do the same.

160
00:06:08,572 --> 00:06:10,116
- Wh... excuse me?
- Go see Josh.

161
00:06:10,141 --> 00:06:11,594
You got to grab your moments while you can.

162
00:06:11,619 --> 00:06:13,808
Ugh, I think I should give him more time.

163
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,411
Time to do what? Go meet somebody else?

164
00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:17,014
That might be for the best.

165
00:06:17,039 --> 00:06:19,840
I mean, I... I worry
that I really may not be

166
00:06:19,865 --> 00:06:21,364
the person that he fell in love with

167
00:06:21,389 --> 00:06:23,246
Liza, don't reject yourself.

168
00:06:23,271 --> 00:06:24,637
Okay?

169
00:06:28,439 --> 00:06:30,654
- Dude, come on.
- No, dude, just wait...

170
00:06:30,679 --> 00:06:31,774
Ooh.

171
00:06:31,799 --> 00:06:33,317
- Ah!
- All right, stop.

172
00:06:33,343 --> 00:06:34,506
- Stop.
- Nope. Nope.

173
00:06:34,531 --> 00:06:35,731
- Not mid-mission.
- Dude!

174
00:06:37,102 --> 00:06:38,319
Ah, it's Liza.

175
00:06:38,344 --> 00:06:39,198
What?

176
00:06:39,223 --> 00:06:40,837
She wants to do something tonight.

177
00:06:40,862 --> 00:06:43,586
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. The answer is no.

178
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,852
Dude, what is your problem?

179
00:06:44,877 --> 00:06:47,336
Wha... are you kidding me? She's a nut job.

180
00:06:47,361 --> 00:06:49,518
She should be locked up in
some sort of cougar prison.

181
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,209
Dude, that is...

182
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:53,038
- That's not true.
- Come on, man.

183
00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:55,928
She stepped on your heart.
She destroyed your soul.

184
00:06:55,953 --> 00:06:57,252
She's a sexual grifter.

185
00:06:57,254 --> 00:06:59,680
Will you just give me my phone back?

186
00:07:00,696 --> 00:07:02,475
Fine...

187
00:07:02,696 --> 00:07:05,371
but don't expect me to be
around to pick up the pieces.

188
00:07:05,396 --> 00:07:07,748
Can I eat the dumplings?

189
00:07:07,748 --> 00:07:09,224
_

190
00:07:09,249 --> 00:07:10,582
Okay, I'm getting the three dots.

191
00:07:10,607 --> 00:07:12,406
Will someone please explain the dots to me?

192
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:15,836
I think the dots are when
someone's typing or thinking.

193
00:07:15,861 --> 00:07:18,683
Okay, now the dots went
away. There's nothing.

194
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:20,367
Oh, the dots can be very fickle.

195
00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:23,026
They're back.

196
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,831
Yes! East River Bar at 9:00.

197
00:07:25,856 --> 00:07:27,856
Oh, I don't know. What
if Caitlin comes home?

198
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,584
Hm, don't worry. I'll keep her distracted.

199
00:07:29,609 --> 00:07:31,296
Nobody cock blocks mama.

200
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,671
Hey, what's going on?

201
00:07:52,696 --> 00:07:55,604
Oh, um, I'm just waiting for my boyfriend.

202
00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:56,923
No worries.

203
00:07:56,949 --> 00:07:58,636
Mind if I wait with you?

204
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:00,716
Uh, sure,

205
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,774
but you might just have to
get up when he gets here.

206
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:05,013
He's not gonna, like, beat me up

207
00:08:05,038 --> 00:08:06,693
if he sees me talking to you, right?

208
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:09,388
I don't think so, but...

209
00:08:11,966 --> 00:08:13,386
You looked lonely.

210
00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:16,991
Why are you so shy?

211
00:08:17,016 --> 00:08:19,716
- I'm not shy.
- Yeah, you are.

212
00:08:19,741 --> 00:08:22,711
Sitting here by yourself
like a little introvert.

213
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,312
I bet people think that you're snobby,

214
00:08:25,337 --> 00:08:26,956
but you're really just quiet, right?

215
00:08:26,981 --> 00:08:29,596
- Mm, you nailed me.
- Yeah.

216
00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,671
I like quiet girls.

217
00:08:31,696 --> 00:08:34,326
You know, quiet's the new sexy. Mm.

218
00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:36,049
So why don't you come
out of that hard shell

219
00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:38,068
and tell me what else I
should know about you?

220
00:08:38,093 --> 00:08:42,108
My daughter just came home from
college, and I'm in my 40s.

221
00:08:43,113 --> 00:08:45,113
I saw my friends, so...

222
00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:46,372
I got to go,

223
00:08:46,397 --> 00:08:47,930
but take it easy.

224
00:09:02,927 --> 00:09:05,452
How is your Habanero-glazed yellowtail?

225
00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:06,707
Delicious, I think this is the first time

226
00:09:06,732 --> 00:09:08,928
that a client's ever wined and dined me.

227
00:09:08,953 --> 00:09:11,266
- We need to sign more chefs.
- Yeah, we do.

228
00:09:11,291 --> 00:09:13,674
I, actually, don't know if
you're aware of the statistics,

229
00:09:13,699 --> 00:09:15,987
but the sale of physical cookbooks...

230
00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:17,518
- Stronger than ever.
- Of course.

231
00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:19,729
Yeah, it's a real bright spot out there.

232
00:09:19,755 --> 00:09:22,269
That's why it's worth
the effort to sign Flay.

233
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:24,261
I think he's gonna find
the combination of us

234
00:09:24,286 --> 00:09:26,043
as a team hard to resist.

235
00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:28,188
Yeah. That and the money.

236
00:09:32,496 --> 00:09:34,668
Do you ever cook for yourself, Charles?

237
00:09:34,693 --> 00:09:36,483
Uh, no, not in the city,

238
00:09:36,508 --> 00:09:38,700
but I love to barbecue

239
00:09:38,725 --> 00:09:41,420
at the house in Pound Ridge.

240
00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,814
- How about you?
- Oh, sure, yeah.

241
00:09:43,839 --> 00:09:45,622
I like to bake, grill,

242
00:09:45,647 --> 00:09:47,621
spit roast.

243
00:09:47,646 --> 00:09:50,906
Show me a nice piece of meat,
I can't keep my hands off it.

244
00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:55,437
You should invite me up
to Pound Ridge sometime.

245
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,516
I'll show you what I mean.

246
00:09:57,541 --> 00:09:59,492
- Uh...
- Peppercorn shrimp.

247
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:01,509
- Oh, that looks wonderful.
- Delicious.

248
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,973
Mm... oh.

249
00:10:04,064 --> 00:10:05,828
Um, Charles, I just want to say,

250
00:10:05,853 --> 00:10:07,380
regardless of what happens with Bobby,

251
00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:10,520
it has been so nice spending
quality time with you.

252
00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:15,567
Diana, I think you have
a... One of your, um...

253
00:10:15,592 --> 00:10:17,085
You have a little bit of, um...

254
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,920
- Hey, guys.
- Oh.

255
00:10:18,945 --> 00:10:21,056
Sorry I kept you waiting. How's dinner?

256
00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:24,497
Oh, simply sensational. You are a genius.

257
00:10:24,522 --> 00:10:26,674
I was just telling Diana

258
00:10:26,699 --> 00:10:28,446
what an enormous fan I am of yours, Bobby.

259
00:10:28,471 --> 00:10:31,222
"Boy Meets Grill" is my Bible.

260
00:10:31,247 --> 00:10:32,613
Oh. Oh, my God.

261
00:10:32,638 --> 00:10:34,582
Yeah, you chipped your tooth. Didn't you?

262
00:10:34,607 --> 00:10:37,022
Yeah, on a peppercorn?

263
00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:38,519
My peppercorn shrimp?

264
00:10:38,544 --> 00:10:40,230
You know, I have weak teeth.

265
00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:41,851
It's, um, my family's from England,

266
00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,191
on my mother's side.

267
00:10:43,216 --> 00:10:44,330
Yeah, I... you know what.

268
00:10:44,355 --> 00:10:46,272
Actually, I know a dentist.
She works in midtown.

269
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,013
She works nights. I'm gonna
go call her right now.

270
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,398
- Bobby, you... Bobby.
- That's not necessary.

271
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:55,740
I'm...

272
00:10:55,765 --> 00:10:58,272
so sorry.

273
00:10:58,810 --> 00:11:00,786
Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

274
00:11:00,811 --> 00:11:03,344
I'm saving this seat. Can
my ass save it for you?

275
00:11:03,369 --> 00:11:04,835
Uh...

276
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:06,944
actually, uh, my
boyfriend, he's on his way.

277
00:11:06,969 --> 00:11:09,112
- He'll be here any minute.
- Don't be such a bitch.

278
00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:11,024
I'm not being a bitch.

279
00:11:17,317 --> 00:11:21,685
_

280
00:11:25,746 --> 00:11:27,662
_

281
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:33,607
_

282
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:39,498
Charles, it's very nice
of you to come with me.

283
00:11:39,523 --> 00:11:41,852
It's really not necessary.

284
00:11:41,876 --> 00:11:43,011
It's not a problem.

285
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,975
I just want to make sure
that someone's here.

286
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,642
Such a gentleman.

287
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,034
I feel like a toothless Cinderella.

288
00:11:52,518 --> 00:11:54,118
Hello.

289
00:11:54,143 --> 00:11:57,983
Dr., uh, Sarkisian?

290
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:01,782
Yes. Please, come in.

291
00:12:01,807 --> 00:12:06,282
I'm... it's fine. I
really have no gag reflex.

292
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:08,860
Okay. Open. What did you try to do?

293
00:12:08,885 --> 00:12:10,130
Crack a walnut?

294
00:12:10,155 --> 00:12:11,864
Your wife did some damage here.

295
00:12:11,889 --> 00:12:13,221
Uh, no, no, no, no.

296
00:12:13,246 --> 00:12:14,662
Um, not my wife,

297
00:12:14,687 --> 00:12:16,302
a business associate.

298
00:12:16,327 --> 00:12:18,320
We were having a business dinner.

299
00:12:18,345 --> 00:12:20,777
Oh, I was wondering where that ring was.

300
00:12:20,802 --> 00:12:23,977
- Nope, single.
- Same here.

301
00:12:24,002 --> 00:12:27,003
It's not easy to date
when you work late nights.

302
00:12:27,005 --> 00:12:30,006
Well, I'm sure there are
lots of men who wouldn't mind

303
00:12:30,008 --> 00:12:31,345
waiting up for you, Dr. Sarkisian.

304
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:33,336
Unless they happen to wander

305
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,224
into my office with a dental emergency,

306
00:12:36,249 --> 00:12:37,743
I'm not meeting them,

307
00:12:37,768 --> 00:12:40,390
and it's Lisa.

308
00:12:40,415 --> 00:12:42,006
- Charles.
- Yeah, it's re...

309
00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:43,433
Please. Keep still.

310
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:53,053
<i>I just can't believe it.</i>

311
00:12:53,078 --> 00:12:55,111
I knew he couldn't handle my age,

312
00:12:55,136 --> 00:12:57,136
but what kind of a person stands someone up

313
00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:59,988
and breaks up with them with a text?

314
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,784
How about telling me you can't make it work

315
00:13:01,809 --> 00:13:03,275
before I get a beer spilled all over me

316
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:04,797
by a bunch of drunk mean girls?

317
00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:06,102
Look, he's in his 20s.

318
00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:07,426
He's not so mature,

319
00:13:07,428 --> 00:13:09,612
and he can't process all of his emotions.

320
00:13:09,637 --> 00:13:12,509
You knew that was the risk
in telling him the truth.

321
00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:15,084
Yeah, but I had to tell him.

322
00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:18,204
And you know what, maybe
I deserved that tonight.

323
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:19,883
Besides, it's one less thing

324
00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:21,483
I have to explain to
Caitlin... who, by the way,

325
00:13:21,507 --> 00:13:23,321
I should never have let
go out tonight by herself.

326
00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:25,549
Uh, she just spent the
past six months in India.

327
00:13:25,574 --> 00:13:28,250
I'm pretty sure she can manage Brooklyn.

328
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,959
Yeah, I'm gonna wait up for her.

329
00:13:29,984 --> 00:13:31,761
Muah.

330
00:13:31,786 --> 00:13:33,491
I'm sorry, it'll all feel
better in the morning.

331
00:13:33,516 --> 00:13:35,536
Mm, it's fine.

332
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,814
It's time to move on.

333
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,103
Night.

334
00:13:40,128 --> 00:13:43,091
_

335
00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:45,144
Ugh.

336
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,572
How was dinner last night?

337
00:14:43,597 --> 00:14:45,463
About as enjoyable as a root canal.

338
00:14:45,489 --> 00:14:47,556
Oh, I'm sorry. How was the food?

339
00:14:47,581 --> 00:14:48,701
Stop grilling me, Liza!

340
00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:56,584
Hello, Diana Trout's office.

341
00:14:57,656 --> 00:15:00,182
It's a Dr. Sarkisian for you?

342
00:15:06,142 --> 00:15:09,178
- Hello?
- Diana, it's Dr. Sarkisian.

343
00:15:09,203 --> 00:15:12,101
I'm just checking in on you.
How is that temp holding up?

344
00:15:12,126 --> 00:15:13,701
It seems fine so far.

345
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:16,150
- Thank you for your call.
- <i>Of course.</i>

346
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:17,704
<i>My patients are like family to me.</i>

347
00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:20,637
Just remember to eat soft
foods for the next few days.

348
00:15:20,661 --> 00:15:21,836
I won't forget.

349
00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:23,606
Now, if you'll excuse me, I...

350
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,468
Can I ask you a favor?

351
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:28,156
Of course.

352
00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:31,037
Would you mind transferring me to Charles?

353
00:15:33,335 --> 00:15:34,825
Liza, transfer this call

354
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,386
to Time Warner Cable customer service.

355
00:15:37,411 --> 00:15:39,834
- Charles.
- We got the book.

356
00:15:39,859 --> 00:15:40,417
What?

357
00:15:40,442 --> 00:15:42,088
I think that Bobby

358
00:15:42,113 --> 00:15:44,833
felt so bad about everything
he's signing with us.

359
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:49,656
What a night.

360
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:51,707
Good job, tooth.

361
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:54,990
Good job... tooth.

362
00:15:55,015 --> 00:15:56,576
<i>Damn it.</i>

363
00:15:59,281 --> 00:16:01,303
Is everything okay?

364
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,081
"100 Things Women Think
About While Giving Blowjobs"

365
00:16:05,106 --> 00:16:06,168
just sold to Little Brown.

366
00:16:06,193 --> 00:16:07,359
You've got good instincts.

367
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:10,301
Yeah, but I hate to lose.

368
00:16:10,326 --> 00:16:11,826
I know the feeling.

369
00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,684
I think I lost last night.

370
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:15,200
What? Josh?

371
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,639
- Mm.
- Off again?

372
00:16:17,665 --> 00:16:18,648
Stood me up at a bar

373
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,872
and broke up with me with a text.

374
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,744
That's really lame.

375
00:16:22,769 --> 00:16:23,985
It's okay.

376
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:25,848
On again, off again.

377
00:16:25,872 --> 00:16:27,785
Classic.

378
00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:30,208
It's all gonna get better in our 30s.

379
00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:32,983
Yeah...

380
00:16:33,009 --> 00:16:35,833
_

381
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:47,908
So the green one, I think,
would be perfect on my mom.

382
00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,576
- Right?
- Oh, she's gonna love that.

383
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,948
- Hey.
- Mom!

384
00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:52,036
Sorry I missed you last night.

385
00:16:52,061 --> 00:16:53,483
You were asleep when I got home.

386
00:16:53,508 --> 00:16:55,330
Yeah, you guys definitely got back late.

387
00:16:55,356 --> 00:16:57,838
- Did you have fun?
- Oh, the best time.

388
00:16:59,506 --> 00:17:00,827
What is it you wanted to show me?

389
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:02,602
Oh, okay.

390
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:03,701
Are you ready?

391
00:17:03,725 --> 00:17:04,960
Yes.

392
00:17:04,985 --> 00:17:06,923
♪ Ta-da ♪

393
00:17:08,907 --> 00:17:11,370
It's "namaste" in Sanskrit,

394
00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:13,154
to commemorate my time in India.

395
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:14,679
Isn't it gorgeous?

396
00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,553
What do you think?

397
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,456
- Where did you get that?
- Ugh, from the hottest guy.

398
00:17:19,481 --> 00:17:22,169
He owns this place called, um... Inkburg.

399
00:17:22,194 --> 00:17:24,093
Just a couple blocks from here.

400
00:17:24,117 --> 00:17:26,901
- Did you see this?
- Oh, yeah.

401
00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:28,731
Mm. Are you mad?

402
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,056
Please don't be mad.

403
00:17:30,081 --> 00:17:31,698
Uh, not at you.

404
00:17:31,722 --> 00:17:33,329
Excuse me.

405
00:17:33,354 --> 00:17:35,593
Mom, where are you going?

406
00:17:35,617 --> 00:17:38,944
Mom, you can't just go
yell at the tattoo guy.

407
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,786
Hey, you. You okay?

408
00:17:55,811 --> 00:17:57,394
- No, I am not okay.
- Whoa...

409
00:17:57,419 --> 00:17:59,975
You gave my daughter a tattoo last night.

410
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,254
What're you talking about?

411
00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:03,530
Namaste.

412
00:18:05,546 --> 00:18:07,280
Oh, my...

413
00:18:07,305 --> 00:18:09,188
Oh, my God.

414
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:12,430
I... I did not know that
that was your daughter.

415
00:18:12,455 --> 00:18:14,572
I... there were four girls.

416
00:18:14,597 --> 00:18:16,014
They all came in here at the same time.

417
00:18:16,039 --> 00:18:18,205
I... I had no idea.

418
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,311
Yep, right on the side boob in Sanskrit.

419
00:18:20,336 --> 00:18:21,344
- Yeah.
- Marked for life.

420
00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:22,907
Thank you very much.

421
00:18:22,932 --> 00:18:24,465
And then you stood me up at a bar

422
00:18:24,468 --> 00:18:26,696
and broke with me with a
text, which I guess I deserve,

423
00:18:26,721 --> 00:18:28,026
but it still made me feel like crap.

424
00:18:28,051 --> 00:18:28,988
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

425
00:18:29,013 --> 00:18:30,834
I didn't stand you up,

426
00:18:30,858 --> 00:18:32,408
and I definitely didn't break up with you.

427
00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,488
Oh, no?

428
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,179
Sorry, can't make it work.

429
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:38,750
Babe...

430
00:18:38,775 --> 00:18:41,194
Uh, it's, "Sorry."

431
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:43,115
"Can't make it.

432
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,224
Work."

433
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,051
You know, on account of the four girls

434
00:18:48,076 --> 00:18:51,355
that just barged into my shop.

435
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,881
Have you ever heard of punctuation?

436
00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:58,022
I mean, I thought the
meaning was pretty obvious.

437
00:18:58,047 --> 00:18:59,475
Well, not at the time.

438
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,866
Yeah, I see that.

439
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:03,058
So you didn't mean to break up with me?

440
00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:04,874
No.

441
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:07,651
Good,

442
00:19:07,676 --> 00:19:10,844
'cause I was really sad
thinking that's what happened.

443
00:19:10,869 --> 00:19:12,244
Oh...

444
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:16,187
I'm sorry...

445
00:19:16,619 --> 00:19:19,651
about everything.

446
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:24,739
Is there any chance

447
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,222
I can try and make it up to you?

448
00:19:30,832 --> 00:19:33,419
I only have time for a quickie apology.

449
00:19:33,444 --> 00:19:34,715
Mm.

450
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,971
Quickies are my specialty.