1 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:27,810 ♪ You give me fever tonight, I want you ♪ 2 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:31,596 ♪ But I never wanna go 3 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,947 ♪ You give me reason tonight to love you ♪ 4 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:38,821 ♪ I won'’t ever let you go ♪ 5 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,388 ♪ We'’re running out of time ♪ 6 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,738 [upbeat electronic music] 7 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,020 [champagne fizzes] 8 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,459 [waves crash, all laughing] 9 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,864 [music fades] 10 00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:32,918 I really thought we had something special, Antonio. 11 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,485 [panicked breaths] 12 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:39,055 But I can'’t work with somebody I don'’t trust. 13 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:46,932 And I certainly can'’t date... 14 00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:49,065 somebody I don'’t trust. 15 00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:52,068 -[whimpers] -No, no, shh, shh, shh shh, shh, shh, shh. 16 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,461 I don'’t want to hear it. 17 00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:01,904 The whole cargo is fucking shark food! 18 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:05,473 Thanks to you. You'’ve left me with no choice. 19 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,693 [gun cocks] 20 00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:11,131 [whimpers] 21 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,044 [muffled grunt] 22 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,048 Don'’t worry. 23 00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:18,312 I'’ll still be able to come and watch you dance. 24 00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,791 [grunts] 25 00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,184 [gun clicks] 26 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,848 You didn'’t really think I was going to shoot you, 27 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:35,198 did you? 28 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:38,245 Antonio! 29 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:41,030 You-- you know that'’s not my style. 30 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:58,221 Meet another ex-employee, and, um, 31 00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:01,311 whoops, ex-boyfriend, sorry. 32 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,965 -This is Kenneth. -[Kenneth growls] 33 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,446 Kenneth... 34 00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:08,710 say hi to Antonio. [Kenneth gurgles] 35 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,929 [Antonio whimpers] 36 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:14,063 I'’ll leave you two to get acquainted then. 37 00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,978 It might get a little awkward. 38 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,067 [muffled screaming] 39 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,290 [growls] 40 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,335 [man] The Prime Minister today declared 41 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,556 that the threat level was significantly reduced-- 42 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,775 [woman] The situation was under complete control-- 43 00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,517 [woman] All I know is that before they came over, 44 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,302 everything was fine-- 45 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,782 [woman] A spokesman for the Independence Party-- 46 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:41,221 the spread of the virus on Eastern European Immigrant-- 47 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,919 [man] Have you or any member of your family 48 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,922 ever been bitten by a zombie? 49 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,620 [woman] Thought to be a mutated strain of Ebola, 50 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,014 a spokesman today dismissed concerns 51 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,017 that what many are calling the zombie virus-- 52 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:58,760 [woman] Chemical weapon released by Islamic State-- 53 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,241 [man] The invasion of a planet-- 54 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,720 [woman] I think it'’s the government-- 55 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,331 [man] Today the mayor defended 56 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,768 the Met Police'’s shoot-to-kill policy-- 57 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,945 [man] Employed by the government to contr-- 58 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,468 [woman] It'’s got to be aliens-- 59 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,253 [woman] Due to screening for infections-- 60 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,820 [man] Big shout-out goes to Ibiza this weekend. 61 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:19,476 Official reports say-- island is clear of infection, 62 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,565 but I'’ve seen a few zombies there, you know? 63 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,828 Especially at six in the morning. 64 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,613 [man] The home office has claimed 65 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,398 that security at airports will remain tight 66 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,400 with enhanced bioscanning 67 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,273 and an increase in armed security personal. 68 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,363 [man] I don'’t trust those guys not to shoot the wrong person. 69 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,756 Yeah, I reckon they probably shot more drunk people 70 00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:41,324 -than actually zombies. -I don'’t even think there are any zombies. 71 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,760 I'’ve never seen one, anyway. 72 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,154 Yeah, but you know Dave Stunts from down Essex? 73 00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,852 -Yeah. -He reckons his cousin got bit by one the other month. 74 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:48,723 Oh, bollocks. 75 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,294 -Who you texting, anyway? -Huh? 76 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,732 -Who you texting? -No one. No one. 77 00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,516 You better not be texting Ellie. 78 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,344 If I find out you'’re texting 79 00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,128 that frigid monster, there'’ll be problems. 80 00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,739 You'’ll have to get your proctologist to text after that. 81 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,307 -What about that? -Proctologist means ass doctor. 82 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,830 Come on, we got a plane to catch. 83 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:14,531 -Wait, what about Az? -What aboutAz? 84 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,098 Well, he'’s coming with us, remember? 85 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,752 Oh, yeah, sometimes I wish we could 86 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,362 just forget about Az all together. 87 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,625 Sorry. 88 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,366 I didn'’t touch ya. 89 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,500 Guys! Hey, guys. 90 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,938 -Guys, I-- -[metal detector beeps] 91 00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:31,766 Sorry I'’m late, been at the chemist. 92 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,812 Have you-- you read these? 93 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:38,555 It'’s all information on how to stay safe abroad from infection. 94 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,514 No, you don'’t need these stupid leaflets. 95 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,211 I know everything there is to know about zombies. 96 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,082 Stick with me and you'’ll be fine, let'’s go. 97 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,302 Excuse me, sir, can you try again? 98 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:49,044 -Try again? Okay. -Yes, please. 99 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,915 [radio chatter, radios chirping] 100 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,793 Well, I sure am happy to be going on holiday 101 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,012 with you two happy fuckers, Jesus Christ. 102 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,927 It'’s like a morgue in here. 103 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,539 The Zombie App says the island'’s still clear of infection. 104 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,977 But is it full of hot bitches? That'’s all I need to know. 105 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,501 Jim, I'’m not sure if there'’s an app for that. 106 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:16,288 No, there is, it'’s called-- it'’s called Liz'’s Facebook page. 107 00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,465 Your sister really doesn'’t understand 108 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423 her privacy settings, does she mate, eh? 109 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,424 [laughs] 110 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,125 Hold on second, isn'’t that-- 111 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:31,173 Oh God, she'’s coming over. Hide or something. 112 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:37,179 -Hi, Ellie. -Hi, Alex. 113 00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:38,528 [Jim] What are you doing? 114 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:53,500 [sighs] 115 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,327 Well, this is awkward, isn'’t it? 116 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,069 And weird, I mean, here we are off to Ibiza 117 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,810 to bone so many sluts our dicks 118 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,333 will probably fall off, and yet you'’re here, too. 119 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,074 Have you come to wave us off or something? 120 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:06,077 It'’s okay, James. I won'’t cramp your style. 121 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,689 Or yours, Alex. Don'’t worry. 122 00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:11,082 I won'’t stand in the way of you and your sluts. 123 00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:12,780 Well, of course you won'’t because, as I said, 124 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,477 we'’re going to Ibiza, and, I don'’t know, 125 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,523 you'’re probably going somewhere boring to do something 126 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,916 like build a school in Somalia. 127 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,789 You haven'’t told them, have you? 128 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,661 Sorry, told us what? 129 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,184 Yeah, what haven'’t you told us? 130 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:28,796 I leave you to explain. 131 00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,189 Just try not to sit too near me on the plane, yeah? 132 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,847 [man on PA] This is the final call for Ibiza... 133 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,937 Look... I can explain. 134 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,941 It-- it was like this. 135 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,170 [car horn blares] 136 00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:01,568 [reggae-tinged electronic music playing] 137 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,142 [Torval] So you ladies from England? 138 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:13,188 You have the plaga de los muertos, 139 00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,364 -That right? -The what? 140 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,105 He means the plague of the dead. 141 00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:19,673 I sure do, my friend. 142 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,849 You English, with your drinking 143 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,026 and your fucking with no condoms. 144 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:28,203 It'’s a miracle you aren'’t all zombies already. 145 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:29,813 We'’re fine, thanks. 146 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,685 They do checks at the airport these days. 147 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:35,079 [Torval] Some islanders wanted to stop all flights, 148 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:38,605 all visitors, keep this place pure. 149 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:42,217 But anyone who tells you this island is pure 150 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:45,133 is a God damn lying motherfucker. 151 00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:51,792 Still, Torval is okay. 152 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,490 He has this. 153 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,014 Yeah. 154 00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:00,583 Nice. Sawn-off. I'’m nice with a shotty, too. 155 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,150 Done some of my best work with her. 156 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,282 [Alex] He means Call of Duty. 157 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,023 Yeah, well, I'’m gonna be emptying 158 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:10,071 my own shotgun all weekend. [mimics shotgun firing] 159 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,508 -I need my cock, obviously. -[Az] Oh, yeah! 160 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,643 [Alex] How much further is it? 161 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,296 [Torval] Nearly there. 162 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:21,430 It'’s right up in the hills. Nice location. 163 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:26,087 No one to hear your sexy screaming. 164 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,393 Yeah, well, you'’ll be able to hear the bitches 165 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,961 that I bring back from the next fucking village. 166 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,758 You wanna buy some drugs? 167 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,762 Hashish? 168 00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,460 Cocaine? 169 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,635 MDMA? 170 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:58,772 No, thank you. We'’re not really into that. 171 00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,425 Nice one bringing her along, mate. 172 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,645 She'’s already being the bloody party police. 173 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,648 That'’s cool. 174 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,432 Drugs are bad for you. 175 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,088 Make your dick shrink. 176 00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,264 Yeah, well, I mean, don'’t mind her, mate. 177 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:16,659 She'’s not the boss of me. I'’ll take one. 178 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,401 And, uh, my dick'’s massive. 179 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,664 It'’s like a snake that'’s eaten a Swiss roll or something. 180 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,971 Get out my van. 181 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,059 All of you. 182 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,500 You have arrived. 183 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,067 [softly] Oh, thank God. 184 00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,329 [sighs] 185 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:44,992 [van horn beeps] 186 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,879 [door closes] 187 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,459 [woman laughs] 188 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,600 [dance music playing] 189 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:42,136 Bitches, the party has arrived. 190 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,572 Who the fuck is that? 191 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,271 [yelps] 192 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,230 What the fuck? 193 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:52,537 [gasps] Only been here two minutes, 194 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,626 and I already got a couple of bitches wet. 195 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:55,758 Hi, sis. 196 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,891 Hi, bro. 197 00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,937 Look, can you tell your mate to get out of the fucking pool? 198 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,635 He looks so... unhygienic. 199 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,902 [snarling] 200 00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,907 You know what your problem is, Antonio? 201 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:14,995 You need to relax. 202 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,259 Take a chill pill. 203 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,177 Open wide for daddy. 204 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:28,182 One... two... three. 205 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,618 [snarls] 206 00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,054 There'’s a good boy. 207 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,844 Don'’t they teach you to knock on doors 208 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,976 wherever the fuck it is you come from? 209 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,978 He'’s dead? Antonio! 210 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,808 Him? Uh, used to be. 211 00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:48,680 Now he'’s just another attraction. 212 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,858 You said no more. 213 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,382 No more stuff, no more dancers. 214 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,036 I-- I know what I said. 215 00:12:56,036 --> 00:13:00,344 You see, Antonio here was supposed to be in charge 216 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,085 of my supply chain, 217 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:05,306 bringing in 200 fresh zombies from England, 218 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:09,614 but he made a little error in judgment 219 00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:12,879 and dumped the whole fucking lot in the sea. 220 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,620 But you can'’t keep doing this, Karl! 221 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,144 People will find out. 222 00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,754 Oh, oh, really? 223 00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:23,585 And how, exactly? Hmm? 224 00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,326 Are you going to tell on me? 225 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:30,897 Just remember, there'’s always room 226 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,987 for more employees in my collection. 227 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,598 -[snarls] -Now... 228 00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:39,166 why don'’t you... 229 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,255 get out there 230 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,910 and shake that cute little ass of yours 231 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,695 and fill my club with punters? 232 00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,915 Do you get me? 233 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:52,092 Oh, and none of your usual attitude. 234 00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:55,878 Yes... boss. 235 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:58,533 -Oh... -[door opens] 236 00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,188 can zombies swim? 237 00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:03,190 [door closes] 238 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,018 [moaning and snarling] 239 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,014 -What are you doing? -Oh. 240 00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:47,625 Standing there just lurking. 241 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:50,454 Hi, Ellie, um, well, I was just wondering if-- 242 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,108 well, if you wanted to come out 243 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,718 to the town with me and the boys tonight. 244 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,895 And why would I want to do that? 245 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,722 I think I'’ll just stay here and wait for James 246 00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,811 to tag the pictures on Facebook. 247 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:04,729 It'’s not gonna be like that. And... we wereon a break. 248 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,123 Look, Alex, I don'’t care what you do. 249 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,951 You said I was boring. 250 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,127 Then the next thing I know, a picture of you 251 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,260 and some random pops up online. 252 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,740 How do you think that made me feel, Alex? 253 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,742 I'’m not going through that again. 254 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:21,007 Well, it-- it was Big Jim who said you were boring-- 255 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,965 And it was Jim who took the photo, I know that, 256 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,793 but it wasn'’t Jim with his tongue 257 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,229 down some girl'’s throat, was it? 258 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,101 Well, obviously. Like that would ever happen. 259 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,580 [laughs] 260 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:34,324 Well, I thought that maybe that you came to Ibiza 261 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,065 t-to maybe, you know, get back together. 262 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,937 I came because you were too tight 263 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,243 to change the name on the ticket. 264 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:44,639 Look, you can go and be exciting with your stupid mates, 265 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:47,381 but I'’m staying here and being boring. 266 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:59,175 Jim, you said there'’d be wireless here. 267 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,829 What are you on the Internet for? 268 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,613 You can see lovely tits if you just look outside. 269 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:05,094 I just wanna know what'’s going on back home. 270 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,183 What if there'’s been another attack? 271 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,837 For all we know, England could be 272 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,534 completely overrun by the plague. 273 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:13,581 Mate, we'’ve been away for like three hours. 274 00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:16,323 -Besides, you wanna hope it doeskick off. -Uh, why? 275 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:19,587 "Uh," because then we'’d be stuck here on, 276 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:22,851 like, the ultimate party island with those dirty bitches 277 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,853 tasked with restarting the human race. 278 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:28,248 They'’d be obligated to shag us which, for a guy like you, 279 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,076 is pretty much the only chance you'’ve ever got 280 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:33,862 of seeing any action with your little raisin dick. 281 00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,472 [groans] 282 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,213 Don'’t wanna know. 283 00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,954 He'’s having imaginary sex 284 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,912 with one of the girls outside. 285 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,393 -It'’s probably your sister. -I said I don'’t wanna know. 286 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:46,440 -It isyour sister, mate. -At least it'’s not Ellie. 287 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,355 It'’s not gonna be her, is it? 288 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,052 Do you know what, mate, I don'’t think we'’ve given you 289 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,749 nearly enough shit for inviting your ex-girlfriend 290 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,055 on our lads holiday. 291 00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,188 She wasn'’t my ex when I invited her. 292 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,755 Even worse! You'’re just lucky me and Az 293 00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,062 are even talking to you after pulling a stunt like that. 294 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,325 Did you temporarily lose your mind or something? 295 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:06,155 Well, I-- I thought it might be a good idea 296 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,028 to combine a lads holiday with-- with a romantic holiday. 297 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,420 Are you fucking nuts? 298 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,161 Have you literally gone full retard? 299 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,033 Can you even understand the words that come out 300 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,947 of your mouth when you say them? You'’re ridiculous. 301 00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,298 It'’s not like you two know what it'’s like to have a girlfriend. 302 00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,908 That'’s because I'’m a player, Alex, 303 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,518 and I don'’t like to get tied down 304 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,129 to just one bitch, you know that. 305 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:26,001 -Yeah, me too. -What? 306 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:29,396 -What are you doing, anyway? -Exercising, obviously. 307 00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,137 It'’s always good to get pumping 308 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,052 before you got out to get some bitch to pump. 309 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,749 You always look bigger as well 310 00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,881 when you'’re just fresh from working out. 311 00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,709 -Sure you wanna look any bigger, Jim? -Fuck off, mate. 312 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:41,103 This is all muscle. Az, get on. 313 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,191 All right. 314 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,194 [sighs] 315 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,806 [bellows] 316 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,504 [crack] 317 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,332 [groans] 318 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,334 Fucking idiots. 319 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,292 You only need one of the big ones anyway. 320 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,164 Any more than that and it'’s actually counterproductive 321 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,600 and you'’re gonna lose muscle density. 322 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,169 Whatever man. Look, boys. 323 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,823 I say we get out of here as quick as possible, 324 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,348 go to some bars, hit some clubs, 325 00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,567 and just get absolutely fucking wankered. 326 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:13,788 Fuckin'’ A, first decent thing you'’ve said since we got here. 327 00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,619 Az, hurry up, man. 328 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:24,494 [groans weakly] 329 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,626 Lads? 330 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:34,461 Hi, girls, so, uh, me and Alex here 331 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:37,768 were just off to the local nightclubs 332 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,944 to harvest them for all the pussy 333 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:42,121 they can yield, so don'’t wait up, ladies. 334 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,340 James, I don'’t give a rat'’s ass what you do, 335 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,647 I just want Alex back in one piece, all right? 336 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:50,825 So that means no drugs, and if by some insane miracle 337 00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:53,088 that you happen to pull a bird, just be careful, 338 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,308 -if you know what I mean. -No, it'’s not gonna-- 339 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,223 I got this, mate, I got this. 340 00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,486 You-- you don'’t need to worry your pretty little head 341 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:02,924 about that, Liz, because I actually happen to have 342 00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:05,796 knob protection in every flavor of the rainbow. 343 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,407 So you needn'’t worry, 344 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,800 I got your five a day right here, you know? 345 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,890 I'’d actually rather rub sand up my vagina. 346 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,545 Interesting you should say that, Zara, because so would I. 347 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,939 So would I. Anyway, we'’re off. 348 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,941 See you later, bitches. Let'’s roll. 349 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,986 Az, you ready? 350 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,727 We'’re gonna go without you if you'’re not careful. 351 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,381 Get a move on and you better not be wanking again, 352 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,774 you disgusting little man! 353 00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,431 Thanks for letting me stay in with you tonight. 354 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,563 It'’s really good to get out here and relax. 355 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:37,088 [laughs] Sweetheart, I'’ve been relaxing all day. 356 00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:40,527 We'’re going out and partying very hard tonight. 357 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,443 I thought you said we were having a girlie night in? 358 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:46,054 No, I just said that to Alex and his dickhead mates 359 00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,838 so they didn'’t tag along. 360 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,666 No, tonight we'’re gonna go out, and we'’re gonna get 361 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,365 -absolutely shit faced. -Oh, yeah. 362 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:53,540 Oh. 363 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,150 -Yep. -[giggles] 364 00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,545 [thumping electronic music] 365 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,555 What? 366 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:10,687 I'’m-- I'’m not used to this sun, all right? 367 00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:12,298 Az... 368 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,039 it'’s nearly dark, and we'’re inside. 369 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:17,825 So? I'’d rather be safe than sorry. 370 00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,654 You look like you'’re in one of them bukkake videos, mate. 371 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,569 You literally look like 12 German blokes 372 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:25,136 split the cost of a room in a youth hostel 373 00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:27,530 just to jizz all over your disgusting little body. 374 00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,880 It'’s filthy. And you smell like piña colada. 375 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,796 [grunts] It smells better than this tastes, though. 376 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:34,885 Tastes like piss. Diseased piss. 377 00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:36,583 You'’d know what diseased piss tastes like. 378 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,411 I expect you'’ve sucked off enough diseased penises 379 00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,673 to last you a lifetime, Alex. 380 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,544 This is a little invention of mine 381 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:44,547 I got the barman to mix up-- I call it the Big Jim, baby! 382 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,767 Inventive Jim. 383 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,725 So it isyour piss, then? 384 00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:51,511 Yeah, yeah, there'’s a bit of my spunk in there as well. 385 00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,252 Anyway, you need to drink up boys. 386 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,557 We need to be nice and toasted 387 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,124 for when we get into them super clubs. 388 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,648 Jim, have you seen the price of these clubs? 389 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,868 It'’s like 60 Euros just to get in. 390 00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,609 [Jim] You'’re the tightest man I'’ve ever met. 391 00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,350 You'’re tighter than your ex'’s vagina 392 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,829 and there'’s nothing that'’s ever been up that. 393 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,267 -[Alex] I'’m not tight, okay? -Hi. 394 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,617 She is-- but-- I don'’t-- 395 00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,880 -will you stop talking about Ellie, all right? -Hi! 396 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,144 You'’re the one who'’s always going on about her-- oh, hello. 397 00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:19,756 Looking for somewhere to party tonight? 398 00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,671 Can you recommend anywhere at all? 399 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:24,021 Yeah, I can. 400 00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:26,154 I'’m the fucking promo girl! 401 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:29,723 Or do you think I choose to wear this fucking T-shirt?! 402 00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,728 Don'’t need to be so rude. 403 00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:37,600 I think I'’m in love. 404 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,472 I think you'’re in dream world. 405 00:21:39,472 --> 00:21:41,996 I think we found tonight'’s destination. 406 00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:43,867 [upbeat electronic music] 407 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:04,714 I just-- I just wish it was vampires. 408 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,368 Vampires? 409 00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:08,675 You'’re so fucking random, Zara. 410 00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:11,982 Vampires are just, you know, sexier. 411 00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:14,855 If it was vampires, I'’d be out there right now 412 00:22:14,855 --> 00:22:16,378 with some pale Twilight dude 413 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:19,686 sticking his fangs right into me. 414 00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:23,516 Instead... zombies. 415 00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:25,169 They'’re fucking disgusting. 416 00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,432 Yeah. 417 00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,608 Iwouldn'’t wanna be one, 418 00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:30,653 and I sure as hell wouldn'’t want to fuck one. 419 00:22:30,653 --> 00:22:34,309 [Liz laughs] Well, at least you do have somestandards. 420 00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:37,704 Babe, you know I'’m not some sort of mega slut. 421 00:22:39,488 --> 00:22:40,663 Hola. 422 00:22:40,663 --> 00:22:42,317 -Hola. -Ooh, la, la. 423 00:22:46,756 --> 00:22:48,802 So, um, Ellie. 424 00:22:48,802 --> 00:22:51,370 First night in Ibiza. 425 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,677 -Anything tickle your fancy? -[chuckles] No, I don'’t-- 426 00:22:54,677 --> 00:22:56,592 Nonsense. 427 00:22:56,592 --> 00:23:00,204 You do with some hot lovin'’ to get you over, you know... 428 00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:03,033 what'’s-his-name, uh, Liz'’s brother. 429 00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:04,426 No, really, I'’m fine. 430 00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:07,473 Bollocks on you. Wait here. 431 00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:11,302 Where-- where is she going? 432 00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:13,087 I really don'’t know. 433 00:23:13,087 --> 00:23:14,871 She'’s a force of nature, that one. 434 00:23:14,871 --> 00:23:17,961 If her pussy had a password, it'’d be "password." 435 00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:19,833 [both laugh] 436 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,878 Thanks for letting me hang out with you girls. 437 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:24,141 Mm, no worries, no worries. 438 00:23:24,141 --> 00:23:26,274 Look, I don'’t have a clue what happened with you 439 00:23:26,274 --> 00:23:28,102 and my dickhead little brother, and to be honest, 440 00:23:28,102 --> 00:23:30,974 I don'’t care as long as we have a good time, Yeah? 441 00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:32,062 -Yeah. -Good. 442 00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:33,412 [Zara] Ladies? 443 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:37,328 the party has officially begun. 444 00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:39,505 -30 seconds? -That definitely beats 445 00:23:39,505 --> 00:23:42,203 -your personal best, Zara. -[laughs] Babe! 446 00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:45,511 Um, Liz, Ellie darling? 447 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:48,514 Meet... thingie and thingie. 448 00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:52,387 Hey, hi, I'’m Rupert. This is my good friend Todd. 449 00:23:52,387 --> 00:23:54,389 You'’ll have to excuse him, he'’s American. 450 00:23:54,389 --> 00:23:57,218 Yeah, bro, I'’m having the best night of my fucking life. 451 00:23:57,218 --> 00:23:59,089 -Yeah. -Get krunked up, baby! 452 00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:01,788 Oh, yeah. [laughs] 453 00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:04,138 I don'’t suppose you girls fancy moving on, do you? 454 00:24:04,138 --> 00:24:06,488 I know this cracking spot to watch the sunset. 455 00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:09,360 -Oh, really? -Mmm. 456 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,276 [thumping dance music] 457 00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:13,626 [camera clicks] 458 00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:20,154 [snarling] 459 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,511 You boys know how to read? 460 00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:31,078 No fucking photos. 461 00:24:33,733 --> 00:24:36,126 Hello. 462 00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,999 I'’m, uh, Karl. 463 00:24:38,999 --> 00:24:41,262 Owner of the establishment. 464 00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:44,047 So is this-- is she-- is that a real zombie? 465 00:24:44,047 --> 00:24:47,486 [Karl] Oh, she'’s real all right. 466 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,226 Worked for me for years. 467 00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:51,533 Only now I don'’t have to pay her. 468 00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,710 But I thought that the island was clear from infection? 469 00:24:54,710 --> 00:24:58,235 Well, you shouldn'’t believe everything you read, cupcake. 470 00:24:58,235 --> 00:25:00,629 On this island, for the right price, 471 00:25:00,629 --> 00:25:02,936 everything'’s available. 472 00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:05,286 So what happens if you feed '’em alcohol, then? 473 00:25:05,286 --> 00:25:07,723 Oh, no, no, no. No. 474 00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:11,466 No, we tend to ah, pump our dancers full of MDMA. 475 00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:12,989 Keeps them chilled. 476 00:25:12,989 --> 00:25:14,817 Means they'’re less likely to bite. 477 00:25:14,817 --> 00:25:19,779 Booze on the other hand-- bad vibes. 478 00:25:19,779 --> 00:25:23,043 Gunter, why don'’t we show these boys 479 00:25:23,043 --> 00:25:25,393 how we motivate our dancers? 480 00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:28,614 [German accent] Yes, boss. My pleasure. 481 00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:32,443 [prod buzzes, Gunter laughs] 482 00:25:35,795 --> 00:25:37,753 [prod buzzes, zombie growls] 483 00:25:37,753 --> 00:25:39,973 It'’s all in the timing. Look. 484 00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,583 [prod buzzes, zombie hisses] 485 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,019 Yes, quite. 486 00:25:43,019 --> 00:25:45,456 Well, who'’s for a-- a proper drink? 487 00:25:45,456 --> 00:25:48,329 Hmm? You? Yes. 488 00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,073 Piña coladas, maybe? 489 00:25:58,861 --> 00:26:00,428 [growls] 490 00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:04,084 Pretty romantic, eh? 491 00:26:04,084 --> 00:26:08,697 Um... yeah, I suppose so. 492 00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:12,571 Champagne, a beautiful sunset, 493 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,660 and an even more beautiful girl. 494 00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:16,313 -[coughs] -What more can a guy ask for-- 495 00:26:16,313 --> 00:26:18,185 -you okay? -Yeah. 496 00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:20,230 I'’m fine. 497 00:26:20,230 --> 00:26:24,931 I'’m just not used to all of this. 498 00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:27,237 But it'’s something you could get used to, right? 499 00:26:27,237 --> 00:26:29,022 Yeah, maybe. 500 00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:30,589 Fast going, Ellie. 501 00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,373 Listen, keep your knickers on. 502 00:26:32,373 --> 00:26:36,464 we'’re going to the pool party back our the house. 503 00:26:36,464 --> 00:26:39,206 [Todd] Woo-hoo! Pool party! 504 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,355 [distorted music] 505 00:27:50,190 --> 00:27:51,408 [faint scream] 506 00:28:05,422 --> 00:28:06,685 [groans] 507 00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,647 Are you all right, mate? 508 00:28:12,647 --> 00:28:14,127 Yeah. 509 00:28:14,127 --> 00:28:17,260 But it-- it'’s too loud. 510 00:28:17,260 --> 00:28:19,393 You know, I'’m gonna go ask the DJ 511 00:28:19,393 --> 00:28:21,569 if he'’ll play a bit of Morrissey. 512 00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:25,007 You know, with some real-- oh, what'’s it named? 513 00:28:25,007 --> 00:28:26,182 Lyrics! 514 00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,231 It'’s that Karl bloke, mate. 515 00:28:31,231 --> 00:28:33,450 He'’s be giving him free drinks all night. 516 00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:35,626 You don'’t reckon he spiked '’em, do ya? 517 00:28:35,626 --> 00:28:38,368 Or put a date rape in his drink? 518 00:28:38,368 --> 00:28:41,284 Do you reckon he'’s put a date rape in all our drinks? 519 00:28:41,284 --> 00:28:43,069 Probably, that'’s why I'’ve been giving all my drinks 520 00:28:43,069 --> 00:28:46,159 -to that zombie over there. -Are you fucking mad? 521 00:28:46,159 --> 00:28:48,204 Did you not hear what the owner said? 522 00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:50,816 I don'’t give a shit. I wanna see what happens. 523 00:28:50,816 --> 00:28:52,731 Anyway, never mind that undead slut. 524 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:56,125 You see who'’s over there? It'’s that bird from earlier. 525 00:28:56,125 --> 00:28:58,693 She'’s definitely getting down downstairs 526 00:28:58,693 --> 00:29:00,869 thinking a meet with Big Jim, do you know what I'’m saying? 527 00:29:00,869 --> 00:29:03,524 Jim, it'’s her job to flirt with guys 528 00:29:03,524 --> 00:29:05,221 to get '’em into the club, 529 00:29:05,221 --> 00:29:06,962 and she didn'’t even bother with us. 530 00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:08,747 Do you know what? 531 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,487 I'’m gonna be the bigger man here, yeah? 532 00:29:10,487 --> 00:29:12,359 You'’re the one who'’s pining for his ex. 533 00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:14,056 So why don'’t you go over there and give it a go? 534 00:29:14,056 --> 00:29:16,842 Oh, well, that'’s really generous of you. 535 00:29:16,842 --> 00:29:19,279 Speaking of your ex, she was looking pretty smoking 536 00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,020 in that bikini of hers today. 537 00:29:21,020 --> 00:29:24,110 Don'’t talk about Ellie like that, all right? 538 00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,068 It'’s bad enough you perv on my sister. 539 00:29:26,068 --> 00:29:29,332 Look, mate, if me and your sister doend up gettin'’ it on, 540 00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:31,378 which is entirely possible given the way 541 00:29:31,378 --> 00:29:33,902 she'’s been looking at me, that'’s nature taking its course. 542 00:29:33,902 --> 00:29:35,164 You can'’t hate on a player for that. 543 00:29:35,164 --> 00:29:37,732 In the meantime, you need to get yourself 544 00:29:37,732 --> 00:29:40,517 back on the minge horse, get balls deep in some sluts. 545 00:29:40,517 --> 00:29:42,606 Starting with that one over there. 546 00:29:42,606 --> 00:29:45,348 I don'’t want sluts! 547 00:29:45,348 --> 00:29:46,741 Sorry. 548 00:29:46,741 --> 00:29:48,134 I just want Ellie. 549 00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:51,354 I want sluts. 550 00:29:51,354 --> 00:29:52,355 What, you? 551 00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:55,489 You and her? 552 00:29:55,489 --> 00:29:57,099 Yeah, why not? 553 00:29:57,099 --> 00:29:59,406 Go on mate, be my guest. This'’ll be hilarious. 554 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,585 [chuckles] 555 00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:05,978 Bastard! 556 00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:07,980 [laughs] 557 00:30:07,980 --> 00:30:09,633 Great stuff. 558 00:30:09,633 --> 00:30:14,247 Now, Maria, don'’t insult the customers. 559 00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:16,510 You know what, Karl? 560 00:30:16,510 --> 00:30:19,861 You can stick your shitty job into your ass! Huh? 561 00:30:19,861 --> 00:30:22,777 You are not turning me into one of your fucking zombies. 562 00:30:24,692 --> 00:30:26,433 [grunts angrily] 563 00:30:36,312 --> 00:30:38,358 Crazy woman. 564 00:30:38,358 --> 00:30:40,708 I have absolutely no idea what she'’s talking about. 565 00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:42,101 Let'’s get you another drink. 566 00:30:47,584 --> 00:30:50,500 [crickets chirp] 567 00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,938 [electronic dance music] 568 00:31:17,527 --> 00:31:18,964 You okay, hon? 569 00:31:18,964 --> 00:31:21,836 Yeah. Just a bit pissed, you know? 570 00:31:21,836 --> 00:31:23,272 I think I might go to bed. 571 00:31:23,272 --> 00:31:26,580 No way, babe, the night is young. 572 00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,235 Plus, I swear that smoldering guy had his eyes on you. 573 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,284 Nah. Not interested in me. 574 00:31:35,284 --> 00:31:37,417 Not with you girls around. 575 00:31:37,417 --> 00:31:41,073 It'’s okay, hon. Go hit the sack if you want. 576 00:31:41,073 --> 00:31:44,946 Not everyone'’s made for partying all night. 577 00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:47,253 [Todd] Fuck, yeah! That'’s what I'’m taking about. 578 00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:51,779 I took a couple of these bitches back at the beach. 579 00:31:51,779 --> 00:31:54,434 Let me tell you, they are fucking singing to me. 580 00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:56,001 [group laughs] 581 00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:57,480 Let'’s turn it up, baby! 582 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,526 [snarling] 583 00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:04,966 [Todd] Fuck yeah! 584 00:32:04,966 --> 00:32:07,447 [gurgling] 585 00:32:09,536 --> 00:32:12,669 [music continues] 586 00:32:18,110 --> 00:32:21,243 Last one in the pool'’s a loser! [whoops] 587 00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:23,463 Whoo! Fuck, yeah! 588 00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:25,508 -Whoo-hoo! -[laughs] 589 00:32:25,508 --> 00:32:28,555 -Pool party Ibiza! -Whoo! 590 00:32:28,555 --> 00:32:31,732 [all laughing and cheering] 591 00:32:31,732 --> 00:32:33,821 [snarling] 592 00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:42,482 -Oh, it'’s that guy. -Oh, yeah, off the telly. 593 00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:45,354 Hey, everybody having a good time? 594 00:32:45,354 --> 00:32:48,183 [crowd cheers] 595 00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:50,185 Yeah, I was until you turned up, you twat. 596 00:32:50,185 --> 00:32:53,536 Thank you. So, ladies and gentlemen! 597 00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:56,496 On this night of nights, 598 00:32:56,496 --> 00:33:00,152 I bring to you a spectacle the likes of which 599 00:33:00,152 --> 00:33:03,024 you'’ve never seen! 600 00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:05,679 Well, not me, I'’ve seen pretty much everything. 601 00:33:05,679 --> 00:33:11,641 A show that will challenge your minds, 602 00:33:11,641 --> 00:33:16,342 your souls, your very principles! 603 00:33:16,342 --> 00:33:19,562 [crowd cheers] 604 00:33:19,562 --> 00:33:21,695 Again, I haven'’t got any principles, 605 00:33:21,695 --> 00:33:24,089 so it doesn'’t count for me. 606 00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:27,744 And brace yourselves. 607 00:33:27,744 --> 00:33:29,616 Let the entertainment begin! 608 00:33:29,616 --> 00:33:31,270 [crowd cheers] 609 00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:32,749 [upbeat electronic music] 610 00:33:32,749 --> 00:33:36,231 [growls] 611 00:33:37,928 --> 00:33:40,148 [engine buzzing] 612 00:33:43,978 --> 00:33:45,545 [chainsaw revs] 613 00:34:16,619 --> 00:34:18,230 [groans softly] 614 00:34:18,230 --> 00:34:21,059 I would love to cut someone'’s arm off like that. 615 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,583 [Jim] This is the second-greatest thing I'’ve ever seen in my life. 616 00:34:23,583 --> 00:34:25,933 As if you'’ve seen anything better than this. 617 00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:28,153 [Jim] I saw a little bit of your sister'’s nipple 618 00:34:28,153 --> 00:34:29,763 -in the swimming pool -Oh, I'’m gonna be sick. 619 00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:31,460 Absolute twat. 620 00:34:51,393 --> 00:34:53,874 [snarls] 621 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,963 [Gunter yelping] 622 00:35:03,623 --> 00:35:06,016 [women screaming] 623 00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:10,804 [music continues] 624 00:35:37,439 --> 00:35:39,006 [snarling and screaming continue] 625 00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:51,279 -Is this the way out?! -How am I supposed to know? 626 00:35:51,279 --> 00:35:54,152 -[Alex] Oh, shit! -[zombies snarling] 627 00:35:55,414 --> 00:35:57,111 She'’s too slippery, mate! 628 00:36:00,114 --> 00:36:03,596 [gurgles] 629 00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:05,685 -Just leave her, she'’s dead. -Let'’s not take any chances. 630 00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:08,340 because if she wakes up again and bites then-- 631 00:36:08,340 --> 00:36:09,689 oh, just check. 632 00:36:09,689 --> 00:36:11,560 She'’s definitely dead. 633 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,388 -She'’s dead, just leave her. -No, she is dead, mate. 634 00:36:13,388 --> 00:36:15,260 I'’ve got a bit of a semi. 635 00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:18,045 Fine, absolutely fine, let'’s go, let'’s just go. 636 00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,658 [laughs] Oh, that was nuts! 637 00:36:22,658 --> 00:36:24,486 Can you just stop enjoying yourself? 638 00:36:24,486 --> 00:36:26,271 We just saw people get killed. 639 00:36:26,271 --> 00:36:28,229 No, Alex, we just saw people get killed by zombies. 640 00:36:28,229 --> 00:36:29,709 That'’s different. That'’s cooler. 641 00:36:43,505 --> 00:36:45,072 No, it'’s fine, man. 642 00:36:45,072 --> 00:36:47,248 They can'’t-- look, it'’s a push door. 643 00:36:47,248 --> 00:36:49,816 -[laughs] -[zombie snarls] 644 00:36:49,816 --> 00:36:52,775 Oh, oh, please don'’t-- please don'’t bite me. 645 00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:54,429 Tell you what, you'’re just perfect ho for that. 646 00:36:54,429 --> 00:36:56,083 And I'’ll kiss your friend as well. 647 00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:58,346 Oh, yeah, not the-- fuck off the guys, just the-- 648 00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:00,218 I'’m calling Ellie, see if she'’s okay. 649 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:02,220 What are you calling her for, man? 650 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,179 At this time of night, she'’ll just be tucked up in bed, 651 00:37:05,179 --> 00:37:09,227 lightly touching herself to a Jane Austen novel. 652 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,837 Oh, yeah. 653 00:37:26,069 --> 00:37:27,419 [phone buzzes] 654 00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:31,988 Ellie, Ellie. Leave it, okay? 655 00:37:31,988 --> 00:37:35,818 You need to relax. Okay, just relax. 656 00:37:38,343 --> 00:37:40,562 Ah, she'’s not answering. I'’ll call Liz. 657 00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:42,608 Duh, she'’s not gonna answer either. 658 00:37:42,608 --> 00:37:44,131 Why not? 659 00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:46,089 [sighs] Because she'’ll be lezzing off 660 00:37:46,089 --> 00:37:49,876 with Zara, of course, real life, not like a porno. 661 00:37:52,095 --> 00:37:53,880 [light electronic music playing] 662 00:38:03,498 --> 00:38:05,718 Oh, babe, he'’s not even looking. 663 00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:08,373 -Losing your touch. -Shut up. 664 00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:10,723 This is unbelievable, Miss Goody Two Shoes there 665 00:38:10,723 --> 00:38:12,333 is like getting some action 666 00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:14,814 whilst I'’m here lezzing it off with you. 667 00:38:14,814 --> 00:38:16,163 No offense, of course. 668 00:38:16,163 --> 00:38:19,993 Shut up, Zara. You wish you could have me. 669 00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:22,082 Right, if I'’m not gonna get any action, 670 00:38:22,082 --> 00:38:23,692 I'’m gonna go to bed. 671 00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:24,998 You gonna come into bed? 672 00:38:24,998 --> 00:38:26,565 No, I think I might go for a swim, 673 00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:28,349 wait for Alex to get home. 674 00:38:28,349 --> 00:38:30,177 If he finds out Ellie'’s with that bloke, 675 00:38:30,177 --> 00:38:31,831 he'’s gonna go mental. 676 00:38:31,831 --> 00:38:34,094 Look, no offense to your brother, babe, 677 00:38:34,094 --> 00:38:37,097 but she deserves to have some fun. 678 00:38:37,097 --> 00:38:38,533 Yeah, I know. 679 00:38:38,533 --> 00:38:40,274 I know my brother'’s a little dickhead, 680 00:38:40,274 --> 00:38:43,277 but I can'’t have him getting any more pathetic 681 00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:45,366 than what he already is. 682 00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:47,412 Right. I'’m gonna take this. 683 00:38:47,412 --> 00:38:49,718 -Good night, babe. -Good night. 684 00:38:49,718 --> 00:38:51,241 Oh, my God, this one'’s gonna have 685 00:38:51,241 --> 00:38:53,026 -a headache tomorrow. -[chuckles] 686 00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:59,424 Oh, so you'’re calling Az, then? 687 00:38:59,424 --> 00:39:01,948 -No. -No? Well, what you doin'’? 688 00:39:01,948 --> 00:39:04,472 [zombies snarl, camera clicks] 689 00:39:04,472 --> 00:39:06,213 Well, I'’ll call him then, shall I? 690 00:39:06,213 --> 00:39:08,563 For goodness sakes. He should be home by now. 691 00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:09,956 Come on, Az. 692 00:39:09,956 --> 00:39:12,524 [phone buzzing, playing "La Cucaracha"] 693 00:39:20,749 --> 00:39:24,927 [grunts] Something'’s wrong. None of them are answering. 694 00:39:24,927 --> 00:39:27,930 Right, we'’ve got to get back to the villa now. 695 00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:29,192 Come on! 696 00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:33,675 Oh, Alex, man, come on! 697 00:39:33,675 --> 00:39:35,634 Granted there are zombies, damn it, 698 00:39:35,634 --> 00:39:37,331 but the villa'’s miles away! 699 00:39:37,331 --> 00:39:38,811 There'’s literally no chance 700 00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:41,422 there'’ll be zombies up there as well. 701 00:39:41,422 --> 00:39:42,641 [groans] 702 00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:51,432 [zombie growls] 703 00:39:58,657 --> 00:39:59,658 [gasps and yelps] 704 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:20,461 [gulping gasps] 705 00:40:33,474 --> 00:40:34,693 [screams] 706 00:40:38,740 --> 00:40:40,525 [Jim] It does not stink of rotten fish. 707 00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:42,265 It'’s actually a bloody nice kebab 708 00:40:42,265 --> 00:40:44,485 made by a really nice bloody kebab maker. 709 00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:45,965 You'’re out of your mind. 710 00:40:45,965 --> 00:40:48,489 Shit. 711 00:40:48,489 --> 00:40:52,188 -[Jim] Fuck. -[snarling] 712 00:40:52,188 --> 00:40:53,625 Fucking come. 713 00:40:56,715 --> 00:40:58,543 [Jim whispering] Zombies in the nightclub. 714 00:40:58,543 --> 00:41:01,328 Now zombies here. What are the chances of that? 715 00:41:01,328 --> 00:41:03,504 -It'’s madness. -I told ya. 716 00:41:03,504 --> 00:41:05,201 [zombies groaning] 717 00:41:09,118 --> 00:41:11,730 Maybe we could just go back that bar, 718 00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:13,558 get a few beers, check out the birds. 719 00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:16,212 No way! Ellie'’s in there. 720 00:41:16,212 --> 00:41:18,737 Yeah, maybe we could just go back to that bar, 721 00:41:18,737 --> 00:41:20,739 get a few beers, check out the birds? 722 00:41:20,739 --> 00:41:22,218 My sister'’s in there, too. 723 00:41:26,919 --> 00:41:29,138 Did you just look at your penis thinking about my sister? 724 00:41:29,138 --> 00:41:31,706 -No. -You-- you did. 725 00:41:31,706 --> 00:41:34,883 I didn'’t. Definitely didn'’t. I didn'’t 726 00:41:34,883 --> 00:41:38,147 We should-- we can get around the back. 727 00:41:38,147 --> 00:41:40,759 -Yeah, fine. -Come on. 728 00:41:40,759 --> 00:41:43,326 [zombies snarling] 729 00:41:47,287 --> 00:41:48,984 [snarling and gurgling] 730 00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:59,386 Stop smiling, you fucking son of bitch. 731 00:41:59,386 --> 00:42:01,431 Can'’t believe you made me hold this bloody kebab! 732 00:42:01,431 --> 00:42:03,346 Yo, give it to me. Just give me the kebab, Alex! 733 00:42:03,346 --> 00:42:05,958 -I'’m gonna, I'’m gonna swing. -Just give me the kebab 734 00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:07,916 -and I will let you down. -How are we gonna do this? 735 00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:09,614 -You'’re just gonna hand it to-- -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 736 00:42:09,614 --> 00:42:11,311 Whoa, whoa, okay, okay, I'’m gonna give to you, 737 00:42:11,311 --> 00:42:13,139 -I'’m gonna give it to you. -Hand me the kebab. 738 00:42:13,139 --> 00:42:15,402 -See, how easy was that? -You almost just bloody killed me. 739 00:42:15,402 --> 00:42:16,969 Just given me the kebab in the first place-- 740 00:42:16,969 --> 00:42:18,536 That doner'’s gonna be the killer of us, man! 741 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,102 Oh, shit! Hands off my bloody doner! 742 00:42:20,102 --> 00:42:21,713 Alex, do something! 743 00:42:21,713 --> 00:42:24,106 Just throw the kebab. Kebab might distract him. 744 00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:26,195 No, Alex, you throw yourkebab at him. 745 00:42:26,195 --> 00:42:28,458 -Well, I haven'’t got a kebab. -Well, then use something else. 746 00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:29,503 -What? -Use that! 747 00:42:33,028 --> 00:42:33,986 [grunts] 748 00:42:35,988 --> 00:42:37,293 Dude. 749 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,080 [Jim groans] 750 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,516 [blows landing] 751 00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:47,521 [blood splattering, bones crunching] 752 00:42:49,654 --> 00:42:52,657 Oh, that is disgusting. 753 00:42:52,657 --> 00:42:54,572 Oh, it'’s almost enough to put me off my... 754 00:42:57,052 --> 00:42:59,751 -Mmm. -Come on, let'’s go. 755 00:42:59,751 --> 00:43:01,927 -Yeah. -Yeah? 756 00:43:01,927 --> 00:43:03,102 Alex? 757 00:43:03,102 --> 00:43:05,539 Yeah? 758 00:43:05,539 --> 00:43:07,106 Did that zombie just say "dude"? 759 00:43:09,456 --> 00:43:10,631 No. 760 00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:15,244 No, I mean, that was a-- 761 00:43:15,244 --> 00:43:16,724 that was a zombie growl, wasn'’t it? 762 00:43:16,724 --> 00:43:19,466 Yeah. Yeah. 763 00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,947 That-- that was a zombie growl, wasn'’t it? 764 00:43:21,947 --> 00:43:23,601 -Yeah. -That was, yeah? 765 00:43:23,601 --> 00:43:26,299 Yeah, definitely, yeah. Yeah. 766 00:43:26,299 --> 00:43:28,649 Yeah. Zombie, definite zombie. 767 00:43:30,956 --> 00:43:35,569 Jesus. Oh, thank God you'’re all right. 768 00:43:35,569 --> 00:43:37,353 Yeah, we'’re fine. 769 00:43:37,353 --> 00:43:39,704 But there are shit load of zombies out there. 770 00:43:39,704 --> 00:43:42,924 Whoa, did you mash up a zombie, too, Liz? 771 00:43:42,924 --> 00:43:44,752 -Is Ellie okay? -Yeah, she'’s fine. 772 00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:46,362 -Well, where is she? -She'’s inside. 773 00:43:46,362 --> 00:43:47,668 No, but I-- I wouldn'’t-- I wouldn'’t-- 774 00:43:50,192 --> 00:43:52,978 -What, no hug for me? -[scoffs] Fuck off. 775 00:43:52,978 --> 00:43:55,981 -Do you wanna share this? -Fuck off. 776 00:43:55,981 --> 00:43:57,722 Fuck it, I have some interracial stuff on my laptop. 777 00:43:57,722 --> 00:43:59,637 I'’ll just have a wank instead. 778 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,682 Ellie! Ellie-- 779 00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:04,990 Dude, what the fuck? 780 00:44:04,990 --> 00:44:07,732 This is totes not cool, I just spent the last 781 00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:09,734 long, arduous 20 minutes on foreplay. 782 00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:12,345 [Ellie] What? You said you were a trained masseuse. 783 00:44:14,913 --> 00:44:17,567 Alex, is that blood on your shoes? 784 00:44:17,567 --> 00:44:20,570 What the hell is going on? 785 00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:24,096 Well... there'’s loads of zombies outside. 786 00:44:24,096 --> 00:44:26,098 A-and I'’ve had to kill some. 787 00:44:26,098 --> 00:44:27,577 I come to warn you, 788 00:44:27,577 --> 00:44:29,884 but I don'’t know why I bothered now. 789 00:44:29,884 --> 00:44:31,756 Look, this is total bertie bollocks. 790 00:44:31,756 --> 00:44:35,368 Okay, come on Ellie. We'’ve got business to finish. 791 00:44:35,368 --> 00:44:37,065 It'’s your turn to give mea rubdown, 792 00:44:37,065 --> 00:44:38,458 if you know what I mean, 793 00:44:38,458 --> 00:44:41,026 and you, wanker, if you interrupt us again, 794 00:44:41,026 --> 00:44:42,723 I will knock your bloody block off. 795 00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,682 Alex, are you telling the truth? 796 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,509 -Yeah. -He is. 797 00:44:46,509 --> 00:44:47,815 Zombies, thousands of them. 798 00:44:49,948 --> 00:44:53,212 What-- are you two-- that'’s a bit awkward, isn'’t it? 799 00:44:53,212 --> 00:44:54,561 Shut up, Jim. 800 00:44:54,561 --> 00:44:56,781 Look, there'’s not thousands of '’em, 801 00:44:56,781 --> 00:44:59,044 but there'’s at least 30 surrounding the house. 802 00:44:59,044 --> 00:45:00,915 Oh, God. 803 00:45:00,915 --> 00:45:03,788 Look, Ellie, if you'’re not gonna nosh me off, 804 00:45:03,788 --> 00:45:05,746 then I'’m getting out of here, all right? 805 00:45:05,746 --> 00:45:07,052 It'’s been fun guys, 806 00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:09,097 but this is Rupes saying sayonara. 807 00:45:09,097 --> 00:45:10,838 I'’m gonna call a cab. 808 00:45:10,838 --> 00:45:13,058 Like you'’re gonna have any luck with that, mate. 809 00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:14,450 There'’s a zombie apocalypse outside. 810 00:45:14,450 --> 00:45:15,669 You'’re not gonna have any signal. 811 00:45:15,669 --> 00:45:17,279 Three bars, actually. 812 00:45:20,543 --> 00:45:22,458 Oh, yeah, so do I. That'’s weird. 813 00:45:22,458 --> 00:45:25,418 Anyway, catch you around, sugar tits. 814 00:45:25,418 --> 00:45:28,508 Oh, uh, by the way, has anybody seen Todd? 815 00:45:28,508 --> 00:45:30,510 Who'’s Todd? 816 00:45:30,510 --> 00:45:33,339 [sighs] Ciao, losers. 817 00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:35,428 Look, never mind Todd. Have you seen Az? 818 00:45:35,428 --> 00:45:38,300 -He'’s nowhere to be found. -Wasn'’t he with you? 819 00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:40,215 You'’ve not lost him, have you? 820 00:45:40,215 --> 00:45:43,218 No. He said he was coming back here. 821 00:45:43,218 --> 00:45:44,611 Well, is one of you gonna call him? 822 00:45:44,611 --> 00:45:47,701 Jim can. I-- I haven'’t got any signal. 823 00:45:47,701 --> 00:45:49,703 You'’re not gonna have any signals on airplane mode. 824 00:45:49,703 --> 00:45:51,879 Are you, Alex? Such a tight bastard. 825 00:45:51,879 --> 00:45:53,098 [Alex] Thank you. 826 00:45:55,404 --> 00:45:57,624 [phone buzzing, playing "La Cucaracha"] 827 00:46:03,499 --> 00:46:04,849 [zombie growls] 828 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,264 Voicemail, he could be anywhere. 829 00:46:29,264 --> 00:46:32,833 God. His mom'’s gonna bloody kill us. 830 00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:33,791 [Rupert shouts] 831 00:46:38,404 --> 00:46:39,884 [Ellie] Does it hurt? 832 00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:42,582 Of course it bloody well hurts. Look at it. 833 00:46:42,582 --> 00:46:46,891 Some madman just ate my phone and took a piece of me with it. 834 00:46:46,891 --> 00:46:48,806 Well, just chill, yeah? 835 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:51,112 And pleasetry not to get blood on the sofa. 836 00:46:51,112 --> 00:46:53,071 My deposit'’s already fucked. 837 00:46:53,071 --> 00:46:56,074 -Is that supposed to be some sort of joke? -Have you seen the pool? 838 00:46:56,074 --> 00:46:59,338 Look at him. He has to go. He'’s gonna turn. 839 00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:01,819 No way, piss off, I'’m not leaving anywhere 840 00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:03,603 unless it'’s in an ambulance. 841 00:47:03,603 --> 00:47:06,693 You, Kenan and Kel with three bars, you call one. 842 00:47:06,693 --> 00:47:10,871 Right, that is both offensive and probably also racist, right? 843 00:47:10,871 --> 00:47:14,222 But given the situation we find ourselves in... 844 00:47:14,222 --> 00:47:15,180 [phone beeps] 845 00:47:18,052 --> 00:47:19,967 They'’re not even answering, anyway. 846 00:47:19,967 --> 00:47:21,882 Did me and Alex not explain that we came from a nightclub 847 00:47:21,882 --> 00:47:23,797 that turned into a zombie bloodbath earlier? 848 00:47:23,797 --> 00:47:26,539 - They'’re probably busy. -If we'’re not gonna turf him out, 849 00:47:26,539 --> 00:47:29,150 well... we'’re just gonna have to kill '’em ourselves. 850 00:47:29,150 --> 00:47:30,891 Alex, we'’re not killing anyone. 851 00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:33,241 -He'’s infected. -Look, you prick. 852 00:47:33,241 --> 00:47:34,982 Okay, I'’m sorry that your girlfriend fancies me. 853 00:47:34,982 --> 00:47:36,984 This is all getting a bit too dramatic for my liking. 854 00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:41,162 Ex-girlfriend. And I don'’t fancy you. 855 00:47:41,162 --> 00:47:43,904 -Oh, come on. -Um, guys? 856 00:47:43,904 --> 00:47:46,820 I don'’t mean to alarm you, but there'’s a bunch of ugly 857 00:47:46,820 --> 00:47:48,778 motherfucking zombies outside the villa. 858 00:47:48,778 --> 00:47:51,869 Yeah, cheers, anyone got anything constructive to say? 859 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:54,610 -We need to kill him. -Alex, we'’re not killing anybody. 860 00:47:54,610 --> 00:47:57,657 W-wait, why are we even discussing killing someone? 861 00:47:57,657 --> 00:47:59,659 He'’s been bitten by a zombie. 862 00:47:59,659 --> 00:48:03,358 Well, have you considered, uh, 863 00:48:03,358 --> 00:48:05,404 maybe amputating his hand? 864 00:48:05,404 --> 00:48:08,668 What? I need my bloody hand. 865 00:48:08,668 --> 00:48:10,583 Wait, that-- that could work. 866 00:48:10,583 --> 00:48:13,760 If we get to the infection before it hits his brain. 867 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,154 [scoffs] G-girls. 868 00:48:16,154 --> 00:48:18,199 Come on, you'’re not gonna let him do this. 869 00:48:18,199 --> 00:48:20,027 You can'’t chop my fucking hand off. 870 00:48:20,027 --> 00:48:21,507 Look, man, I'’ve had enough of this, yeah? 871 00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:22,987 You'’re doing my head in. 872 00:48:22,987 --> 00:48:24,727 Five minutes ago, it was your bloody hand. 873 00:48:24,727 --> 00:48:26,904 Any more of your little procrastination, 874 00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,210 I'’m gonna have to take more of your physique off. 875 00:48:29,210 --> 00:48:30,864 Probably be your whole arm next. 876 00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:33,432 And any more delay, it'’s gonna be your head. 877 00:48:33,432 --> 00:48:35,608 [Liz] I don'’t say this very often, 878 00:48:35,608 --> 00:48:38,263 but I think these dickheads might be right. 879 00:48:38,263 --> 00:48:39,829 Rupert, it'’s your choice, all right? 880 00:48:39,829 --> 00:48:42,180 We try amputating your hand, or you leave now 881 00:48:42,180 --> 00:48:44,008 and take your chances with the zombies. 882 00:48:44,008 --> 00:48:45,357 We can'’t risk you turning. 883 00:48:52,190 --> 00:48:53,408 [Rupert] Ellie... 884 00:48:59,762 --> 00:49:02,809 Okay. Okay. 885 00:49:02,809 --> 00:49:04,463 [shuddering breath] 886 00:49:04,463 --> 00:49:06,552 Um-- [clears throat] 887 00:49:06,552 --> 00:49:08,249 just need to do something first. 888 00:49:19,695 --> 00:49:21,828 [sniffs] 889 00:49:21,828 --> 00:49:23,830 [inhales deeply] 890 00:49:28,617 --> 00:49:30,402 That'’s ketamine. 891 00:49:30,402 --> 00:49:34,275 Five minutes time, I won'’t be able to feel my arm. 892 00:49:34,275 --> 00:49:36,538 Oh, I'’ll take that. 893 00:49:36,538 --> 00:49:39,933 Alex, go and find a knife or something. 894 00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:42,588 -Yes. -[sighs] 895 00:49:42,588 --> 00:49:45,243 I actually think it might be better if we just got a gun, 896 00:49:45,243 --> 00:49:46,984 Like a shotgun and just took the whole thing clean off. 897 00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,768 Jim, if you can'’t say anything fucking useful, 898 00:49:48,768 --> 00:49:50,248 then just stay out of it. 899 00:49:50,248 --> 00:49:53,860 Can'’t say anything useful, eh? 900 00:49:53,860 --> 00:49:56,906 How about... 901 00:49:56,906 --> 00:49:59,431 ordering a bloody rescue, getting us out of here? 902 00:49:59,431 --> 00:50:01,085 Hmm? 903 00:50:01,085 --> 00:50:04,218 [atmospheric electronic music, phone buzzing] 904 00:50:09,223 --> 00:50:11,095 [tires screech, car crashes] 905 00:50:12,879 --> 00:50:15,447 [machine gun fire, man screams] 906 00:50:17,797 --> 00:50:19,103 [woman screams] 907 00:50:19,103 --> 00:50:21,061 [zombies snarling] 908 00:50:21,061 --> 00:50:24,847 [gunfire and screaming continue] 909 00:50:30,157 --> 00:50:32,855 Yo. 910 00:50:32,855 --> 00:50:36,468 Hello, mate, hi, how you doing? It'’s, uh-- it'’s Jim. 911 00:50:36,468 --> 00:50:39,166 The guy that you picked up with the other two guys 912 00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:43,518 and the girl in the van to take the villa earlier. 913 00:50:43,518 --> 00:50:47,044 Yeah, um, I was just wondering if maybe, I don'’t know, 914 00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,263 you wanted to come up here and sort of maybe rescue us? 915 00:50:49,263 --> 00:50:52,005 No, man. 916 00:50:52,005 --> 00:50:53,833 [sirens wailing] 917 00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:56,270 I ain'’t going nowhere. 918 00:50:56,270 --> 00:51:00,187 -[gunfire continues] -Have you not looked outside? 919 00:51:00,187 --> 00:51:01,797 [explosions] 920 00:51:01,797 --> 00:51:06,106 That'’s some end-of-days shit, right there. 921 00:51:06,106 --> 00:51:10,110 Yeah, uh, that'’s kind of what I'’m calling you about, actually. 922 00:51:10,110 --> 00:51:11,851 We'’ve-- we'’ve sort of got a few zombies 923 00:51:11,851 --> 00:51:14,158 up here as well and stuff, and I wondered if maybe 924 00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:16,116 you wanted to come down here and rescue us 925 00:51:16,116 --> 00:51:18,814 and bring your shotgun? 926 00:51:18,814 --> 00:51:20,381 I mean, we'’ll pay you, obviously. 927 00:51:20,381 --> 00:51:21,774 [whispers] Has anyone got any money? 928 00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:24,124 -[siren wailing] No, man. 929 00:51:24,124 --> 00:51:27,084 Money'’s no good to me. 930 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,999 [laughs, gunfire continues] 931 00:51:29,999 --> 00:51:33,525 Not much you can buy in an apocalypse. 932 00:51:33,525 --> 00:51:35,570 You get me? [laughs] 933 00:51:39,444 --> 00:51:41,185 Yeah, right. 934 00:51:41,185 --> 00:51:43,970 Yeah, he'’s not-- he'’s not having it. 935 00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:46,233 Don'’t be long. Do not be long. 936 00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:48,105 [clears throat] Hello? 937 00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:52,152 [gunfire continues] 938 00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:54,023 Who is this? 939 00:51:54,023 --> 00:51:57,549 There are three hot-ass bitches here. 940 00:51:57,549 --> 00:52:01,335 Yeah? And we would really appreciate it 941 00:52:01,335 --> 00:52:03,598 if you came and rescued us. 942 00:52:03,598 --> 00:52:08,473 And how do I know you are not one of your English... 943 00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,217 munters? 944 00:52:13,217 --> 00:52:15,654 Munters? 945 00:52:15,654 --> 00:52:20,224 Sir, look, I will send you a photo, okay? 946 00:52:20,224 --> 00:52:24,358 I don'’t care about your face. 947 00:52:24,358 --> 00:52:27,927 I just wanna see your titties. 948 00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:29,407 Titties? 949 00:52:29,407 --> 00:52:31,409 All three of you. 950 00:52:31,409 --> 00:52:33,715 [sirens wailing] 951 00:52:33,715 --> 00:52:35,369 And then maybe... 952 00:52:37,545 --> 00:52:40,200 I'’ll think it over. 953 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,725 Um... 954 00:52:43,725 --> 00:52:45,074 great. 955 00:52:45,074 --> 00:52:47,512 Start your engine, thanks. 956 00:52:52,517 --> 00:52:55,215 -Okay, take a photo. -You sure about this, yeah? 957 00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:57,130 -Yeah. -Do you want me-- I should probably do this. 958 00:52:57,130 --> 00:53:00,089 Fuck off, Jim. Go help Alex or something. 959 00:53:00,089 --> 00:53:03,180 Are we just gonna do tits? What about some ass shots? 960 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,964 -We don'’t know what he likes. -I mean it. 961 00:53:04,964 --> 00:53:07,140 Yeah, okay. 962 00:53:07,140 --> 00:53:10,099 Are you sure this is a good idea, Zara? 963 00:53:10,099 --> 00:53:11,927 This guy'’s a real creep. 964 00:53:11,927 --> 00:53:14,408 Have you got a better idea? 965 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:17,455 Look, I'’m sorry for snapping, but desperate times, 966 00:53:17,455 --> 00:53:20,936 and these arethe only things we can bargain with. 967 00:53:26,028 --> 00:53:27,421 [camera clicks] 968 00:53:27,421 --> 00:53:30,076 -Yep. Yeah, nice. -Yeah? 969 00:53:30,076 --> 00:53:31,773 Okay, your turn. 970 00:53:34,559 --> 00:53:36,387 Fucking hurry up, Zar. 971 00:53:36,387 --> 00:53:39,955 Hold on, I'’m just trying to get the right Instagram filter. 972 00:53:39,955 --> 00:53:42,088 -[camera clicks] -Yep, got it. 973 00:53:42,088 --> 00:53:44,221 -Yeah? -Yeah. 974 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,179 Right, Ellie, pop them out. 975 00:53:46,179 --> 00:53:49,095 What? You can leave me out of it. 976 00:53:49,095 --> 00:53:52,011 This might be our only way out of here. 977 00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:54,927 I'’m not texting some weirdo topless pictures. 978 00:53:54,927 --> 00:53:57,103 You girls didn'’t see this guy earlier. 979 00:53:57,103 --> 00:53:58,800 I really don'’t trust him. 980 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,324 Oh, he'’s not that bad, Ellie. For God'’s sake. 981 00:54:00,324 --> 00:54:01,890 Trust you to make a big deal of it. 982 00:54:01,890 --> 00:54:03,936 They'’re not even that big, anyway. 983 00:54:03,936 --> 00:54:06,286 You didn'’t mind getting them out for this loser, did ya? 984 00:54:06,286 --> 00:54:08,027 [cries] 985 00:54:08,027 --> 00:54:09,942 Look, Ellie, I-I'’m sorry. 986 00:54:09,942 --> 00:54:13,032 Forget it, Alex! 987 00:54:13,032 --> 00:54:15,469 You girls can sort yourselves out. 988 00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:17,384 I want no part of this. 989 00:54:17,384 --> 00:54:19,386 Oh, well done, lads. 990 00:54:19,386 --> 00:54:23,260 I see why you'’re such a fucking hit with the ladies. 991 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:25,087 Oh, well this is great, isn'’t it? 992 00:54:25,087 --> 00:54:27,264 Where are we gonna find a third pair of tits for him now? 993 00:54:33,139 --> 00:54:34,967 Oh-- oh, you can all piss off. 994 00:54:34,967 --> 00:54:36,316 [phone chimes] 995 00:54:36,316 --> 00:54:38,275 [gunfire, car alarms blaring] 996 00:54:55,509 --> 00:54:59,383 Oh, mama. 997 00:54:59,383 --> 00:55:02,037 [groans] 998 00:55:02,037 --> 00:55:04,997 I feel fucking violated, man. Get off me. 999 00:55:04,997 --> 00:55:08,653 Uh, guys, I don'’t mean to interrupt a deep moment, 1000 00:55:08,653 --> 00:55:12,178 but his whole arm is turning black. 1001 00:55:14,876 --> 00:55:18,271 Jim... grab his arm, mate. 1002 00:55:18,271 --> 00:55:19,925 My pleasure, doctor. 1003 00:55:19,925 --> 00:55:22,101 Alex, are you sure you know what you'’re doing? 1004 00:55:22,101 --> 00:55:23,929 -Do you want me to do it? -No, no. 1005 00:55:25,887 --> 00:55:27,846 I'’ll do this. 1006 00:55:27,846 --> 00:55:30,892 I'’m gonna-- I'’m gonna go pack. 1007 00:55:34,722 --> 00:55:36,594 I think I'’m gonna be sick. 1008 00:55:45,211 --> 00:55:47,082 [Rupert murmurs] 1009 00:55:50,042 --> 00:55:52,610 [Alex] Fuck. Fuck, shit. 1010 00:55:52,610 --> 00:55:54,176 -Fuck. -[Rupert mumbling] 1011 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,359 -Oh, shit. -[laughs] 1012 00:56:10,976 --> 00:56:14,806 Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit, fuck. 1013 00:56:14,806 --> 00:56:19,941 -[knife squishing] - Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1014 00:56:21,334 --> 00:56:23,510 [bone cracks] 1015 00:56:23,510 --> 00:56:25,382 [belches] 1016 00:56:34,739 --> 00:56:35,914 Hello? 1017 00:56:40,875 --> 00:56:42,007 Jim? 1018 00:56:46,664 --> 00:56:47,926 Alex? 1019 00:56:59,459 --> 00:57:00,808 Stay there. 1020 00:57:00,808 --> 00:57:03,898 [all laughing] 1021 00:57:10,688 --> 00:57:13,081 Where'’s my other arm? 1022 00:57:13,081 --> 00:57:14,822 What are you doing? 1023 00:57:14,822 --> 00:57:17,999 [laughter continues] 1024 00:57:17,999 --> 00:57:21,263 [Rupert, weakly] Maybe we should do this in the morning? 1025 00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:23,483 No, it'’s not breaking. Jim? 1026 00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:25,659 Jim, just fucking smash it. 1027 00:57:25,659 --> 00:57:27,661 Just fucking break it. 1028 00:57:27,661 --> 00:57:29,271 -[grunts] -Fucking Ellie. 1029 00:57:29,271 --> 00:57:31,491 [bone cracking] 1030 00:57:31,491 --> 00:57:32,884 Go, go, break it. 1031 00:57:32,884 --> 00:57:34,494 [bone cracks] 1032 00:57:34,494 --> 00:57:36,931 Fuck. Fuck. 1033 00:57:36,931 --> 00:57:37,932 Fuck. 1034 00:57:43,808 --> 00:57:46,463 [crowd screaming] 1035 00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:48,116 [zombies snarling] 1036 00:57:57,125 --> 00:57:58,823 [belches] 1037 00:58:18,712 --> 00:58:20,279 Hello? 1038 00:58:20,279 --> 00:58:21,976 [snarls] 1039 00:58:21,976 --> 00:58:24,109 Hello. 1040 00:58:24,109 --> 00:58:26,328 [snarls] 1041 00:58:26,328 --> 00:58:28,243 [muffled screaming] 1042 00:58:36,121 --> 00:58:38,210 [roars] 1043 00:58:38,210 --> 00:58:40,560 [Maria grunting] 1044 00:58:46,610 --> 00:58:48,176 [tape ripping] 1045 00:58:50,614 --> 00:58:53,399 Ah, shit! Watch the door! 1046 00:58:53,399 --> 00:58:55,923 Well, w-what about him? 1047 00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:59,492 I handle him. Look out for Karl. 1048 00:59:10,416 --> 00:59:13,550 Oh, hi, Karl! We'’re down here. 1049 00:59:17,336 --> 00:59:18,555 Yeah, come on. 1050 00:59:21,253 --> 00:59:24,082 Well, aren'’t you a sight for sore eyes. 1051 00:59:24,082 --> 00:59:27,912 Just in time, too, I'’m about to fuck off the island 1052 00:59:27,912 --> 00:59:31,002 -before the cops turn up. -[Maria] Leave him alone. 1053 00:59:31,002 --> 00:59:33,526 He came back for me, not for you. 1054 00:59:33,526 --> 00:59:35,833 Well, actually I was just looking for a way out. 1055 00:59:35,833 --> 00:59:38,966 I hardly think he'’s gonna be interested in... that. 1056 00:59:38,966 --> 00:59:42,056 So, what do you say, young Az? 1057 00:59:42,056 --> 00:59:44,668 How do you fancy sailing off into the sunset 1058 00:59:44,668 --> 00:59:46,800 on Uncle Karl'’s yacht? 1059 00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:49,020 Thanks for the offer. 1060 00:59:49,020 --> 00:59:52,240 And I really appreciate this. 1061 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:56,201 And I'’m sure you'’re a-- a lovely man and everything, 1062 00:59:56,201 --> 00:59:59,813 But, you know, [grunts] with a [grunts] and a [whistles]? 1063 00:59:59,813 --> 01:00:01,336 Well, your loss. 1064 01:00:01,336 --> 01:00:03,991 Oh, if you'’re looking for the yacht keys, 1065 01:00:03,991 --> 01:00:05,427 they'’re in that drawer. 1066 01:00:05,427 --> 01:00:07,821 Be a sweetheart and throw them over, would you? 1067 01:00:17,831 --> 01:00:19,703 Thanks. Now-- 1068 01:00:19,703 --> 01:00:22,444 Don'’t move, you fucking freak. 1069 01:00:25,447 --> 01:00:28,712 Sorry, what are you gonna do? Shoot me, huh? 1070 01:00:28,712 --> 01:00:32,672 You? The worst promo girl in Ibiza? 1071 01:00:32,672 --> 01:00:34,805 [chuckles] 1072 01:00:34,805 --> 01:00:37,546 Oh, yeah. 1073 01:00:37,546 --> 01:00:40,114 -[gun lighter clicks] -Ooh! 1074 01:00:40,114 --> 01:00:43,509 You see what'’s happened there is... 1075 01:00:45,337 --> 01:00:47,600 I'’ve got the real gun. 1076 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:50,081 Kind of similar, aren'’t they? 1077 01:00:50,081 --> 01:00:53,519 -[snarls] -Easy to get confused. 1078 01:00:53,519 --> 01:00:55,216 Now-- 1079 01:00:55,216 --> 01:00:57,392 You'’ll have to go through me first. 1080 01:00:57,392 --> 01:00:59,568 Oh, don'’t worry. 1081 01:00:59,568 --> 01:01:01,483 I was planning to. 1082 01:01:01,483 --> 01:01:03,268 Do you mean in like a gay way? 1083 01:01:03,268 --> 01:01:04,835 [Antonio growls] 1084 01:01:04,835 --> 01:01:08,360 Sorry, I'’m no good with innuendo. 1085 01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:12,016 [snarls] 1086 01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:13,234 Good night, sweetheart. 1087 01:01:13,234 --> 01:01:15,236 [roars] 1088 01:01:15,236 --> 01:01:16,673 [muffled screaming] 1089 01:01:22,722 --> 01:01:23,767 [sighs] 1090 01:01:26,204 --> 01:01:29,729 Thought you were supposed to be looking after Rupert? 1091 01:01:29,729 --> 01:01:32,601 Chill, bitch. Alex is looking after Rupert. 1092 01:01:32,601 --> 01:01:35,039 And Ellie'’s looking after Alex to make sure 1093 01:01:35,039 --> 01:01:38,259 Alex doesn'’t cut any more of Rupert'’s limbs off. 1094 01:01:38,259 --> 01:01:40,348 It'’s all fine. What are you up to, anyway? 1095 01:01:40,348 --> 01:01:43,569 Come here. 1096 01:01:43,569 --> 01:01:45,832 I mean, you know about all these... 1097 01:01:45,832 --> 01:01:47,355 things. 1098 01:01:49,575 --> 01:01:51,359 Do you think they remember who they were? 1099 01:01:51,359 --> 01:01:54,406 Remember who they used to be? 1100 01:01:54,406 --> 01:01:55,407 I don'’t know. 1101 01:01:56,887 --> 01:01:59,977 They seem so... 1102 01:01:59,977 --> 01:02:01,195 sad. 1103 01:02:03,023 --> 01:02:04,068 [sighs] 1104 01:02:09,116 --> 01:02:12,772 We'’re going to end up like that, aren'’t we? 1105 01:02:12,772 --> 01:02:14,643 You never know, it might be-- 1106 01:02:14,643 --> 01:02:16,776 might be fun being a zombie. 1107 01:02:16,776 --> 01:02:18,822 Shut up, you twat. 1108 01:02:18,822 --> 01:02:20,824 You'’re supposed to be making me feel better 1109 01:02:20,824 --> 01:02:24,044 and saying it'’s all gonna be fine. 1110 01:02:24,044 --> 01:02:26,133 Sorry. 1111 01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:28,962 You really are a useless prick, aren'’t ya? 1112 01:02:28,962 --> 01:02:31,704 Yeah, and you'’re a bossy cow. With great tits, though. 1113 01:02:31,704 --> 01:02:34,272 Bossy? Do you think I'’m bossy? 1114 01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:37,014 I'’m only trying to look after everyone. 1115 01:02:37,014 --> 01:02:39,190 With great tits come great responsibility. 1116 01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:41,453 Fuck, can you be serious for just one minute? 1117 01:02:41,453 --> 01:02:44,543 Is there ever an end to your bullshit? 1118 01:02:44,543 --> 01:02:46,893 No, I mean it, I mean, we'’ve all got our roles. 1119 01:02:46,893 --> 01:02:49,243 I mean, you'’re the kick-ass bitch. 1120 01:02:49,243 --> 01:02:50,897 -I'’m the funny one-- -Sorry... 1121 01:02:50,897 --> 01:02:52,333 the funny one? 1122 01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:55,119 You think you'’re the funny one? 1123 01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:57,904 No, you'’re about as funny as bowel cancer. 1124 01:02:57,904 --> 01:03:00,080 I thought the funny one was that-- 1125 01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,169 what'’s his name, that little one? 1126 01:03:02,169 --> 01:03:03,605 I thought he was the funny one. 1127 01:03:03,605 --> 01:03:05,520 -What, Az? -Yeah. 1128 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:07,392 No. 1129 01:03:07,392 --> 01:03:10,917 Suppose we probably should try and find him, though, you know? 1130 01:03:10,917 --> 01:03:14,007 Hang on. 1131 01:03:14,007 --> 01:03:16,009 If I'’m not the funny one, then what have I got left? 1132 01:03:16,009 --> 01:03:17,489 The fat one? 1133 01:03:17,489 --> 01:03:19,230 The one who'’s man boobs you laugh at? 1134 01:03:19,230 --> 01:03:21,275 I don'’t know, who knows? 1135 01:03:21,275 --> 01:03:22,842 You might actually be a nice person 1136 01:03:22,842 --> 01:03:24,888 underneath all that crap. 1137 01:03:27,151 --> 01:03:30,502 I just want to go home and just... 1138 01:03:30,502 --> 01:03:33,810 s-see my parents, you know? 1139 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:36,856 Zombie apocalypse isn'’t all it'’s cracked up to be. 1140 01:03:36,856 --> 01:03:39,598 It'’s more-- 1141 01:03:39,598 --> 01:03:41,600 more real, you know? 1142 01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:43,863 I know. We'’ll be home soon. 1143 01:03:43,863 --> 01:03:46,910 No. 1144 01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:49,216 No. I know how this is gonna end for me. 1145 01:03:49,216 --> 01:03:51,871 I'’m destined to be an all-you-can-eat buffet 1146 01:03:51,871 --> 01:03:54,265 for-- for zombies. 1147 01:03:54,265 --> 01:03:58,660 It'’s ironic, really, considering that'’s the only thing 1148 01:03:58,660 --> 01:04:02,316 I'’ve ever been any good at in my whole stupid life. 1149 01:04:02,316 --> 01:04:04,492 I'’m too young to die, Liz. 1150 01:04:04,492 --> 01:04:09,019 Too many all-you-can-eat buffets yet to conquer. 1151 01:04:09,019 --> 01:04:11,325 Too many sluts to bang, you know? 1152 01:04:11,325 --> 01:04:13,545 You might actually have a bit of luck with the women 1153 01:04:13,545 --> 01:04:15,852 if you didn'’t call them sluts and bitches all the time, James. 1154 01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:18,332 Just a bit of little friendly advice for you there. 1155 01:04:18,332 --> 01:04:21,248 Nah, it doesn'’t matter what I call them. 1156 01:04:21,248 --> 01:04:24,512 They'’re not interested in me. 1157 01:04:24,512 --> 01:04:29,082 Destined to die alone a virgin on this stupid fucking island. 1158 01:04:29,082 --> 01:04:32,390 Oh, God, I can'’t believe I'’m about to-- 1159 01:04:32,390 --> 01:04:34,348 if you tell anyone this, I will kill you. 1160 01:04:34,348 --> 01:04:36,220 I mean that, I'’ll fucking kill you. 1161 01:04:36,220 --> 01:04:38,265 You saw the zombie in the pool. You know I'’m capable. 1162 01:04:41,051 --> 01:04:42,574 Tell anyone what? 1163 01:04:42,574 --> 01:04:44,881 And I'’m doing this because I actually think 1164 01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:47,231 we'’re not gonna live to see another day on this island. 1165 01:04:47,231 --> 01:04:49,842 Oh, Jesus Christ, I can'’t believe I'’m gonna do this. 1166 01:04:49,842 --> 01:04:51,583 God, I must be fucking ill. 1167 01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,458 Do what? 1168 01:04:57,458 --> 01:05:01,245 Look you dickhead, do you wanna die a virgin or not? 1169 01:05:01,245 --> 01:05:02,768 No. 1170 01:05:08,948 --> 01:05:10,341 [zombies snarling] 1171 01:05:17,522 --> 01:05:19,698 [Rupert groans] 1172 01:05:22,092 --> 01:05:24,659 [wheezing] 1173 01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:28,968 Alex, wake up. 1174 01:05:28,968 --> 01:05:30,709 What? 1175 01:05:30,709 --> 01:05:32,580 It'’s Rupert. 1176 01:05:32,580 --> 01:05:33,973 He'’s making noises. 1177 01:05:33,973 --> 01:05:37,324 [wheezing groan] 1178 01:05:37,324 --> 01:05:41,894 Did that sound like a-- you know, a human groan 1179 01:05:41,894 --> 01:05:43,548 Or a zombie one? 1180 01:05:43,548 --> 01:05:46,029 I don'’t know, you'’re the one who knows 1181 01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:47,508 what sound he makes when he groans. 1182 01:05:47,508 --> 01:05:51,121 Oh, leave it. I'’m gonna check for a pulse. 1183 01:05:57,127 --> 01:05:58,693 Wait. Wait. 1184 01:05:58,693 --> 01:06:00,434 I'’ll do it. 1185 01:06:00,434 --> 01:06:01,870 Are you sure? 1186 01:06:01,870 --> 01:06:03,524 Well, yeah. 1187 01:06:03,524 --> 01:06:06,875 Well, if he does turn, it could get quite nasty, 1188 01:06:06,875 --> 01:06:09,791 and I'’ve already killed two zombies already, 1189 01:06:09,791 --> 01:06:11,880 so, uh, well, it shouldn'’t be too hard. 1190 01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:14,579 This macho stuff does not suit you, Alex. 1191 01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:29,942 I can'’t-- I can'’t really feel anything. 1192 01:06:29,942 --> 01:06:32,771 [growling] 1193 01:06:32,771 --> 01:06:34,512 Ellie, Ellie! 1194 01:06:34,512 --> 01:06:36,296 -Alex! -Get the knife! 1195 01:06:36,296 --> 01:06:38,864 Get the knife! Get the knife! 1196 01:06:40,518 --> 01:06:42,650 Brains! Get him in the brains! 1197 01:06:42,650 --> 01:06:46,176 Brains! Not in the back of the head, through the eye! 1198 01:06:46,176 --> 01:06:47,786 -Really?! -Yes! 1199 01:06:47,786 --> 01:06:50,310 [roaring] 1200 01:06:50,310 --> 01:06:52,095 -I can'’t go through the eye! -Wherever! 1201 01:06:52,095 --> 01:06:55,576 -Through the ear! -Wherever! 1202 01:06:55,576 --> 01:06:57,796 Fuck off, Rupert, you prick! 1203 01:06:57,796 --> 01:06:59,058 [knife squelches] 1204 01:06:59,058 --> 01:07:01,930 [roaring fades] 1205 01:07:06,283 --> 01:07:08,850 Ellie... could you give us a hand? 1206 01:07:22,125 --> 01:07:25,954 Liz, Big Jim number two has reawoken. 1207 01:07:25,954 --> 01:07:27,434 Ready for deployment. 1208 01:07:27,434 --> 01:07:30,481 We should probably go again straightaway. 1209 01:07:30,481 --> 01:07:34,398 Liz. Liz, let'’s go. 1210 01:07:34,398 --> 01:07:36,574 Oh, too hung over, eh? 1211 01:07:36,574 --> 01:07:38,445 I think what you need is probably some breakfast. 1212 01:07:38,445 --> 01:07:42,014 Oh, I'’ll just take this opportunity to just... 1213 01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:48,151 -Oh, that'’s a video. -[phone beeps] 1214 01:07:51,893 --> 01:07:54,157 Oh, that'’s lovely. 1215 01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:55,723 See that'’s what I like about you. 1216 01:07:55,723 --> 01:07:57,725 is a normally the big-titted bitches, 1217 01:07:57,725 --> 01:07:59,771 they don'’t have a good ass unless they'’ve had implants, 1218 01:07:59,771 --> 01:08:01,338 but you, you got both areas covered 1219 01:08:01,338 --> 01:08:04,819 which is why I like you a lot, good stuff. 1220 01:08:06,995 --> 01:08:10,303 So is there anything that I should get 1221 01:08:10,303 --> 01:08:12,697 while I'’m down at the fridge, for us to incorporate 1222 01:08:12,697 --> 01:08:15,439 into the next part of our sexual adventure? 1223 01:08:15,439 --> 01:08:18,659 I'’m talking things like whipped cream, strawberries? 1224 01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:21,140 I think I saw chocolate mousse down there, actually. 1225 01:08:21,140 --> 01:08:24,100 I'’ll surprise you. [sighs] 1226 01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,102 Lovely day out there, isn'’t it? 1227 01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:28,800 Shame we'’re not gonna see any of it '’cause of all these zombies, 1228 01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,063 and obviously the fact that I'’ll be in here 1229 01:08:31,063 --> 01:08:33,021 hanging out the back of you. 1230 01:08:33,021 --> 01:08:36,938 -Jesus, all right. -[groans] 1231 01:08:36,938 --> 01:08:38,549 [fades] Fuckin'’ Liz in the bed... 1232 01:08:41,247 --> 01:08:44,424 Oh, Liz, yeah, suckin'’-- suckin'’ me off 1233 01:08:44,424 --> 01:08:47,253 all damn night and all through to the morning! 1234 01:08:47,253 --> 01:08:49,081 Taking it doggy style! 1235 01:08:49,081 --> 01:08:50,517 When I give it to you doggy style, 1236 01:08:50,517 --> 01:08:52,737 I'’m begging for more, a dirty bit-- 1237 01:08:52,737 --> 01:08:56,567 -the fuck have you been up to? -He turned. 1238 01:08:56,567 --> 01:08:58,351 I did tell you he would, didn'’t I, come on. 1239 01:08:58,351 --> 01:09:00,005 Why the fuck are you so cheerful? 1240 01:09:00,005 --> 01:09:03,704 You know Alex, just a post-sex with Liz glow. 1241 01:09:03,704 --> 01:09:05,706 You know how it is. 1242 01:09:05,706 --> 01:09:08,622 I'’m just gonna go in there and rustle up some breakfast, 1243 01:09:08,622 --> 01:09:11,799 -Sex makes you really hungry. -James, we really haven'’t got time for this now. 1244 01:09:11,799 --> 01:09:15,194 -We need to make a run for it. -What about the rescue I ordered? 1245 01:09:15,194 --> 01:09:17,370 Well, he'’s obviously not coming, is he? 1246 01:09:17,370 --> 01:09:20,068 Come on, we need to get Liz and Zara and get out of here. 1247 01:09:20,068 --> 01:09:22,375 Yeah, be my guest, go up and get Liz, but I warn you, 1248 01:09:22,375 --> 01:09:24,247 she'’s looking pretty shagged out about right now. 1249 01:09:24,247 --> 01:09:27,119 Can you just shut the fuck up about my sister? 1250 01:09:27,119 --> 01:09:29,077 Jim, you'’ve had those condoms in your pocket 1251 01:09:29,077 --> 01:09:31,254 since you were seven, and I'’m pretty sure 1252 01:09:31,254 --> 01:09:33,691 they'’re gonna stay there until the day you die. 1253 01:09:33,691 --> 01:09:35,736 Yeah, well, that would be fine Alex, 1254 01:09:35,736 --> 01:09:37,564 except I didn'’t bother using the condoms. 1255 01:09:37,564 --> 01:09:40,350 I barebacked her at her request, and you should have seen me. 1256 01:09:40,350 --> 01:09:42,700 It was like a prime silverback gorilla 1257 01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,441 going at a fucking lioness, yeah? 1258 01:09:44,441 --> 01:09:46,007 And not just any gorilla. 1259 01:09:46,007 --> 01:09:48,488 It was like King Kong fucking the sexy lioness 1260 01:09:48,488 --> 01:09:51,709 -out of Lion King. -Fucking dick. 1261 01:09:51,709 --> 01:09:54,538 Look guys, can you have this discussion somewhere else? 1262 01:09:54,538 --> 01:09:56,888 I really don'’t wanna stay here a second longer. 1263 01:09:56,888 --> 01:09:59,543 Yeah, yeah. Ellie'’s right. 1264 01:09:59,543 --> 01:10:02,198 We need to get out of here as quick as possible 1265 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,243 and somehow find Az. 1266 01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:06,898 Well, I just wish we had some weapons, you know? 1267 01:10:06,898 --> 01:10:09,205 Just some real big sort of-- some guns coming out. 1268 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,337 Oh, yeah? Real big guns? 1269 01:10:11,337 --> 01:10:12,947 -Yeah, just-- [grunts] -Yeah? 1270 01:10:12,947 --> 01:10:15,689 -This ain'’t Playstation, Jim. -[gunshot] 1271 01:10:27,484 --> 01:10:28,789 Taxi. 1272 01:10:30,269 --> 01:10:33,359 Taxi for the titties. 1273 01:10:36,275 --> 01:10:38,495 [Torval snarling softly] 1274 01:10:44,936 --> 01:10:47,852 Where are your other lady friends? 1275 01:10:47,852 --> 01:10:49,506 [clattering] 1276 01:10:56,208 --> 01:10:58,950 [sighs] 1277 01:10:58,950 --> 01:11:01,953 Oh, you must be the taxi guy. 1278 01:11:01,953 --> 01:11:04,085 Guys, why have you not packed yet? 1279 01:11:04,085 --> 01:11:05,565 We need to get out of here. 1280 01:11:05,565 --> 01:11:10,091 First, Torval gets his sexy time. 1281 01:11:10,091 --> 01:11:14,182 Then we can all go for a little ride. 1282 01:11:14,182 --> 01:11:15,401 That'’s the deal. 1283 01:11:15,401 --> 01:11:19,840 And a deal is a deal. 1284 01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:22,974 Excuse me. 1285 01:11:22,974 --> 01:11:25,237 We'’ve all had... 1286 01:11:25,237 --> 01:11:29,110 a very traumatic night, yes? 1287 01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:31,852 Now, I have a banging headache, 1288 01:11:31,852 --> 01:11:35,421 and all we want to do is go home. 1289 01:11:35,421 --> 01:11:38,250 Whoa, just don'’t point that thing at me. 1290 01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,948 So where is she? 1291 01:11:40,948 --> 01:11:45,562 The one with the big... brown... 1292 01:11:45,562 --> 01:11:47,607 boobies. 1293 01:11:51,132 --> 01:11:54,353 I find her myself. 1294 01:11:54,353 --> 01:11:56,921 You lot, don'’t move. 1295 01:11:59,184 --> 01:12:02,492 Oh! You can'’t. 1296 01:12:02,492 --> 01:12:05,712 Because I have the keys to the van. 1297 01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:12,589 I could probably just hot-wire it anyway, 1298 01:12:12,589 --> 01:12:14,721 -if you want me to. -Oh, shut up. 1299 01:12:14,721 --> 01:12:18,159 Anyways, I'’m not leaving my sister with him. 1300 01:12:18,159 --> 01:12:20,379 [Torval screams] 1301 01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:22,033 Liz! 1302 01:12:22,033 --> 01:12:23,948 Liz-- 1303 01:12:23,948 --> 01:12:25,645 -Liz? -[growls] 1304 01:12:25,645 --> 01:12:28,953 -Alex, no, don'’t go in there. -[Torval groans] 1305 01:12:28,953 --> 01:12:32,260 Since when was my sister a zombie? 1306 01:12:32,260 --> 01:12:35,089 Well, that'’s what we all want to know. 1307 01:12:35,089 --> 01:12:39,006 No James, don'’t, we need the keys to the van, remember? 1308 01:12:39,006 --> 01:12:41,052 She'’s my friend guys. I'’ll do it. 1309 01:12:41,052 --> 01:12:44,708 -[snarls] -She won'’t hurt me. 1310 01:12:44,708 --> 01:12:47,363 [Liz growls, flesh squishing] 1311 01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:48,320 Liz? 1312 01:12:51,018 --> 01:12:54,239 It'’s your friend, Zar. Remember? 1313 01:12:55,893 --> 01:12:58,330 [growls] 1314 01:12:58,330 --> 01:12:59,592 Oh, fuck. 1315 01:12:59,592 --> 01:13:00,898 [flesh squishing] 1316 01:13:04,902 --> 01:13:07,426 Liz... 1317 01:13:07,426 --> 01:13:09,776 we had some good times, didn'’t we? 1318 01:13:12,431 --> 01:13:14,651 Ayia Napa. 1319 01:13:14,651 --> 01:13:16,043 Magaluf. 1320 01:13:18,437 --> 01:13:21,048 [voice breaks] Even that time in Skegness. 1321 01:13:27,054 --> 01:13:30,449 Liz, I need you to move. 1322 01:13:30,449 --> 01:13:32,190 I need to get those keys. 1323 01:13:32,190 --> 01:13:33,713 [hisses] 1324 01:13:33,713 --> 01:13:38,588 Liz, I really don'’t want to do this. 1325 01:13:38,588 --> 01:13:40,024 Liz? 1326 01:13:40,024 --> 01:13:42,243 [roars] 1327 01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:43,375 [shotgun fires] 1328 01:13:55,256 --> 01:13:56,910 [snarling distantly] 1329 01:14:03,351 --> 01:14:05,397 All right, guys, we need to get to that van. 1330 01:14:05,397 --> 01:14:08,661 Yeah, sorry, who died and put you in charge? 1331 01:14:08,661 --> 01:14:12,012 No, yeah, fair enough. I'’m sorry about that, mate. 1332 01:14:12,012 --> 01:14:14,145 I didn'’t think that through, that'’s-- 1333 01:14:14,145 --> 01:14:17,017 As I was saying, I'’ve got the keys so I'’m driving. 1334 01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:19,237 -Yeah, shotgun? -[Zara] What do you mean? 1335 01:14:19,237 --> 01:14:21,326 It doesn'’t matter who sits where. 1336 01:14:21,326 --> 01:14:23,197 No, you dumb bitch. Just give me the shotgun. 1337 01:14:23,197 --> 01:14:24,547 Oh, here take it. I don'’t want it. 1338 01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:26,940 Jim, the moment you'’ve been waiting for. 1339 01:14:26,940 --> 01:14:30,640 You'’ve got the gun. Now fucking shoot '’em! 1340 01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:32,337 All right, now what you guys wanna think about here 1341 01:14:32,337 --> 01:14:34,731 is it'’s very important to keep the butt of the gun tight 1342 01:14:34,731 --> 01:14:36,646 to your shoulder, otherwise you'’ll do yourself an injury. 1343 01:14:36,646 --> 01:14:38,299 -James! -All right, fucking hell. 1344 01:14:38,299 --> 01:14:40,476 [trigger clicks] 1345 01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:42,608 James, I thought you said you knew what you were doing! 1346 01:14:42,608 --> 01:14:44,741 Fucking Ellie, for fuck'’s sake! 1347 01:14:44,741 --> 01:14:47,439 -[Alex] For fuck'’s sake! -For God'’s sake, just shoot! 1348 01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:48,701 Pull! 1349 01:14:50,790 --> 01:14:53,663 Oh, shit, no, what are the chances of that? 1350 01:14:53,663 --> 01:14:55,839 There'’s literally no way that could happen. 1351 01:14:55,839 --> 01:14:57,667 -It just did! -As if a bullet 1352 01:14:57,667 --> 01:14:59,538 -would actually ignite-- -[Zara screams] 1353 01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:03,586 Oh, my God!! My fucking leg! 1354 01:15:03,586 --> 01:15:05,588 Look what you did to my fucking leg! 1355 01:15:05,588 --> 01:15:08,591 -You motherfucker! -Should we go back inside? 1356 01:15:08,591 --> 01:15:12,029 So this is it. Our last stand. 1357 01:15:12,029 --> 01:15:14,727 Except some of us can'’t actually stand. 1358 01:15:14,727 --> 01:15:17,077 -Oh, my fucking leg you-- -Gimme that! 1359 01:15:17,077 --> 01:15:19,079 We'’re gonna go out fighting! 1360 01:15:19,079 --> 01:15:21,647 Be my guest, I'’ve used that shell anyway. 1361 01:15:21,647 --> 01:15:24,041 [car horn blares, thump] 1362 01:15:24,041 --> 01:15:25,695 [tires screech] 1363 01:15:25,695 --> 01:15:27,566 [hip hop music] 1364 01:15:35,139 --> 01:15:37,489 Any of you cats order a rescue? 1365 01:15:37,489 --> 01:15:38,969 [yelps] 1366 01:15:49,196 --> 01:15:51,198 [Az] What the fuck did you guys do to that? 1367 01:15:58,771 --> 01:16:00,512 So we going to the airport then, yeah? 1368 01:16:00,512 --> 01:16:02,383 Airport'’s closed. 1369 01:16:02,383 --> 01:16:04,255 The whole island is in quarantine. 1370 01:16:04,255 --> 01:16:05,430 So where are we going? 1371 01:16:05,430 --> 01:16:07,127 Chill guys. 1372 01:16:07,127 --> 01:16:09,303 We got the keys to a yacht. 1373 01:16:09,303 --> 01:16:11,784 It'’s anchored a few miles offshore. 1374 01:16:11,784 --> 01:16:14,700 We get on that, and then we sail back to the mainland. 1375 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,093 Yeah, that all sounds great, but if it'’s offshore, 1376 01:16:16,093 --> 01:16:17,747 how are we gonna get there? 1377 01:16:17,747 --> 01:16:19,531 Some of us haven'’t got the use of all of our limbs, 1378 01:16:19,531 --> 01:16:21,446 and I'’m pretty sure I only got my 200-meter 1379 01:16:21,446 --> 01:16:23,361 swimming badge out of pity. 1380 01:16:23,361 --> 01:16:26,886 There'’s loads of speedboats and jet skis at this beach. 1381 01:16:26,886 --> 01:16:28,540 Sounds like you got it all figured out. 1382 01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:30,063 Where'’d you get all this cool shit from, anyway? 1383 01:16:30,063 --> 01:16:33,806 Well, it'’s a pretty amazing story, actually. 1384 01:16:33,806 --> 01:16:36,417 -Oh, my fuck-- -Shh! 1385 01:16:36,417 --> 01:16:38,245 [zombies growling] 1386 01:16:48,821 --> 01:16:50,170 [car alarm beeps] 1387 01:17:06,099 --> 01:17:09,799 Okay, you distract them. I run to the car. 1388 01:17:09,799 --> 01:17:12,236 No, no. You distract them. 1389 01:17:12,236 --> 01:17:17,023 I mean, you are more... distracting. 1390 01:17:17,023 --> 01:17:19,635 Do you know how to drive a limo? 1391 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:20,984 Hmm? 1392 01:17:20,984 --> 01:17:23,639 Do you know how to drive a limo? 1393 01:17:23,639 --> 01:17:24,857 No. 1394 01:17:24,857 --> 01:17:26,729 See? 1395 01:17:26,729 --> 01:17:29,645 If we get on that car, 1396 01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,472 you see that backseat? 1397 01:17:31,472 --> 01:17:33,083 -Mm-hmm. -Uh-huh? 1398 01:17:33,083 --> 01:17:37,087 I gonna ride you like a mechanical bull. 1399 01:17:37,087 --> 01:17:39,350 -Hmm? -[chuckles] 1400 01:17:39,350 --> 01:17:40,438 Run, then. 1401 01:17:45,835 --> 01:17:48,664 Come on, do something. 1402 01:17:49,882 --> 01:17:51,841 Uh, hi. 1403 01:17:51,841 --> 01:17:53,756 Zombies. 1404 01:17:53,756 --> 01:17:58,108 Um, I'’m Az from London. 1405 01:17:58,108 --> 01:17:59,849 England. 1406 01:17:59,849 --> 01:18:01,807 Uh, as you can see, 1407 01:18:01,807 --> 01:18:05,376 there'’s not a lot of meat on me. 1408 01:18:05,376 --> 01:18:07,117 Some noise, huh? 1409 01:18:07,117 --> 01:18:10,642 It'’s not working! Nobody ever listens to me! 1410 01:18:13,819 --> 01:18:14,690 Yes! 1411 01:18:19,564 --> 01:18:21,522 No. Maria?! 1412 01:18:23,263 --> 01:18:26,136 Maria! I ain'’t got a plan B! 1413 01:19:04,565 --> 01:19:07,525 Let'’s go, let'’s go, let'’s go, let'’s go, let'’s go. 1414 01:19:07,525 --> 01:19:10,136 [tires screech] 1415 01:19:10,136 --> 01:19:11,964 Yeah, cool story, bro, but you haven'’t been through 1416 01:19:11,964 --> 01:19:14,184 what we'’ve been through-- I'’ve loved and I'’ve lost. 1417 01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:17,578 -My sister'’s dead. -Liz is dead? 1418 01:19:17,578 --> 01:19:18,754 How? 1419 01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,233 Shotgun to the kisser. 1420 01:19:20,233 --> 01:19:22,932 It might just be me being stupid, 1421 01:19:22,932 --> 01:19:26,849 but I don'’t get how Liz turned in the first place. 1422 01:19:26,849 --> 01:19:28,981 Was it the zombie in the pool? 1423 01:19:28,981 --> 01:19:31,375 No, I checked her entire body, 1424 01:19:31,375 --> 01:19:33,333 and there was no sign of scratches. 1425 01:19:33,333 --> 01:19:35,379 She must have swallowed some blood in the pool. 1426 01:19:35,379 --> 01:19:37,033 She'’s right. 1427 01:19:37,033 --> 01:19:39,296 It doesn'’t just have to be a bite. 1428 01:19:39,296 --> 01:19:41,864 There'’s loads of ways you can get infected. 1429 01:19:41,864 --> 01:19:44,997 Transfer of blood, you know, unprotected sex. 1430 01:19:44,997 --> 01:19:47,957 Should have read the leaflets, guys. 1431 01:19:47,957 --> 01:19:51,525 So, yeah, Jim, if you did sleep with my sister, 1432 01:19:51,525 --> 01:19:53,745 you'’re infected, too. 1433 01:19:53,745 --> 01:19:55,921 But you didn'’t. So you'’re not. 1434 01:19:55,921 --> 01:19:59,011 What? Jim slept with your sister? 1435 01:20:03,146 --> 01:20:05,888 Ow, watch it! 1436 01:20:05,888 --> 01:20:08,412 Right guys, let'’s get to the beach. 1437 01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:23,035 So... all we have to do is get through them. 1438 01:20:23,035 --> 01:20:24,645 [zombies growling] 1439 01:20:27,387 --> 01:20:29,563 Uh, yeah. 1440 01:20:29,563 --> 01:20:32,697 [snarling] 1441 01:20:32,697 --> 01:20:35,918 That'’s, uh, quite a lot of zombies. 1442 01:20:35,918 --> 01:20:37,528 Not too many we can'’t handle, though. 1443 01:21:09,516 --> 01:21:12,389 Oh, for fuck-- use the machete, not my fucking-- 1444 01:21:12,389 --> 01:21:13,912 Slice him, just slice him with the-- 1445 01:21:13,912 --> 01:21:17,046 [both shouting] 1446 01:21:27,491 --> 01:21:29,754 Go have a shower, bitch! 1447 01:21:32,278 --> 01:21:33,323 Yeah. 1448 01:21:36,021 --> 01:21:39,503 Whoa! Then use them! [grunts] 1449 01:21:39,503 --> 01:21:43,507 Ow! You fucking retard! I have a machete! 1450 01:21:43,507 --> 01:21:45,726 [both shouting] 1451 01:22:03,657 --> 01:22:05,877 Ellie, did you see-- 1452 01:22:14,059 --> 01:22:16,192 Right now, we need-- 1453 01:22:16,192 --> 01:22:18,890 Ow! That was my bad leg! 1454 01:22:18,890 --> 01:22:20,761 Oh, another fucking retard! 1455 01:22:30,946 --> 01:22:33,992 Az, this isn'’t a jet ski. 1456 01:22:33,992 --> 01:22:36,473 Well, it should still get us there. 1457 01:22:36,473 --> 01:22:38,040 Maybe. 1458 01:22:40,477 --> 01:22:43,393 Hey, less talk, more pedaling. [claps] 1459 01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:50,574 I'’m, uh-- this is it, guys, game over. 1460 01:22:50,574 --> 01:22:52,315 What are you talking about? We'’re nearly there. 1461 01:22:52,315 --> 01:22:55,448 No, man, it'’s the end for me. I don'’t feel well. 1462 01:22:55,448 --> 01:22:58,016 I'’m-- I'’m infected. I'’m just gonna stay here. 1463 01:22:58,016 --> 01:23:00,845 It'’s just that crusty kebab you had, you idiot. 1464 01:23:00,845 --> 01:23:02,499 No mate, I-- I fucked your sister. 1465 01:23:02,499 --> 01:23:04,066 I had sex with her. I ran through her. I-- 1466 01:23:04,066 --> 01:23:07,243 -You didn'’t fuck my sister. -I did. 1467 01:23:07,243 --> 01:23:08,766 -You didn'’t. -I did. 1468 01:23:08,766 --> 01:23:10,942 We swapped fluids, Alex. We swapped fluids. 1469 01:23:10,942 --> 01:23:13,249 Okay, sorted. You'’re staying here. 1470 01:23:13,249 --> 01:23:15,686 The rest of you, get the fuck back on this thing. 1471 01:23:15,686 --> 01:23:19,037 Really, Jim. You'’re not coming with us? 1472 01:23:22,084 --> 01:23:23,259 See you later, Jim. 1473 01:23:26,523 --> 01:23:27,959 Gonna miss you, man. 1474 01:23:31,919 --> 01:23:35,184 -Crazy Spanish lady. -Brazilian, prick. 1475 01:23:35,184 --> 01:23:38,274 Yeah, I, mean, it looked like at one stage, 1476 01:23:38,274 --> 01:23:41,842 you and I might have a thing, but obviously I had Liz, 1477 01:23:41,842 --> 01:23:44,323 and she was always my number-one priority, 1478 01:23:44,323 --> 01:23:46,108 and normally what I'’d do is, 1479 01:23:46,108 --> 01:23:48,501 I'’d fuck both of you simultaneously. 1480 01:23:48,501 --> 01:23:50,460 You on a Monday, her on a Tuesday. 1481 01:23:50,460 --> 01:23:53,985 Hey, bitch, just turn into a fucking zombie so we can go. 1482 01:23:53,985 --> 01:23:57,032 [Jim] Ellie. 1483 01:23:57,032 --> 01:24:00,774 Look after Alex for me, will ya? He'’s probably-- 1484 01:24:00,774 --> 01:24:03,690 he loves you, so you should probably take him back. 1485 01:24:03,690 --> 01:24:08,260 Okay, James. You... look after yourself. 1486 01:24:16,007 --> 01:24:18,444 And I wanted to let you know, 1487 01:24:18,444 --> 01:24:20,403 I don'’t actually think you'’re that boring. 1488 01:24:20,403 --> 01:24:23,667 You'’ve actually been mildly interesting on this holiday, 1489 01:24:23,667 --> 01:24:25,625 and sometimes I'’ve even been thinking about you. 1490 01:24:25,625 --> 01:24:28,150 Not sexually or anything, but just how are you? 1491 01:24:28,150 --> 01:24:30,978 -Hope you'’re safe and stuff like that, so. -Thanks. 1492 01:24:33,372 --> 01:24:36,462 Alex, man, it'’s been good, but you know, 1493 01:24:36,462 --> 01:24:38,421 we just ran outta steam on the home stretch like-- 1494 01:24:38,421 --> 01:24:40,423 like the bobsled in Cool Runnings 1495 01:24:40,423 --> 01:24:42,686 who ended up losing to the Germans, 1496 01:24:42,686 --> 01:24:44,427 but there'’s no shame in that cause they'’re 1497 01:24:44,427 --> 01:24:46,646 the best in the world at the end of the day. 1498 01:24:46,646 --> 01:24:48,083 You'’re serious? 1499 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:49,954 -Yeah, deadly serious. -Well... 1500 01:24:51,695 --> 01:24:53,436 Do you want us to kill you now? 1501 01:24:53,436 --> 01:24:55,177 I'’ll do it. I'’ll do it. 1502 01:24:55,177 --> 01:24:56,743 Well, before you turn, you know? 1503 01:24:56,743 --> 01:24:58,658 I think I'’m just gonna see what 1504 01:24:58,658 --> 01:25:00,747 life'’s like as a zombie, you know? 1505 01:25:00,747 --> 01:25:03,402 We really appreciate this, James, 1506 01:25:03,402 --> 01:25:06,144 but if you could hurry up? 1507 01:25:06,144 --> 01:25:07,232 Yeah. 1508 01:25:10,322 --> 01:25:11,976 [Zara] Thank fuck for that. 1509 01:25:11,976 --> 01:25:14,196 I thought it was gonna fucking take all day. 1510 01:25:14,196 --> 01:25:15,110 Let'’s go. 1511 01:25:18,504 --> 01:25:22,334 That'’s it guys, you go. Save yourselves. 1512 01:25:22,334 --> 01:25:24,945 Everyone just hold on! 1513 01:25:24,945 --> 01:25:27,426 Woo-hoo! 1514 01:25:27,426 --> 01:25:28,732 [zombies snarling] 1515 01:25:31,256 --> 01:25:33,258 Tell the world about what you'’ve seen here 1516 01:25:33,258 --> 01:25:35,826 and the atrocities, and also remember 1517 01:25:35,826 --> 01:25:39,134 the sea has no backdoor. 1518 01:25:39,134 --> 01:25:41,614 Godspeed. Godspeed. 1519 01:26:08,815 --> 01:26:11,296 Hey, big man! Drink? 1520 01:26:11,296 --> 01:26:13,646 Jesus Christ, man, you scared me. 1521 01:26:13,646 --> 01:26:15,300 You look like a piña colada man. 1522 01:26:15,300 --> 01:26:18,042 No, no, there'’s a beach full of zombies back there. 1523 01:26:18,042 --> 01:26:20,479 And I'’m feeling ill myself. I'’m probably gonna turn, too. 1524 01:26:20,479 --> 01:26:22,438 You should get out of here. Just head for the hills. 1525 01:26:22,438 --> 01:26:24,440 Chill. Chill. 1526 01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:26,224 Nothing you can do about now, is there? 1527 01:26:26,224 --> 01:26:28,531 Jesus, I'’m sorry to see that. That'’s really bad. 1528 01:26:28,531 --> 01:26:32,143 Pull up a stool. What'’s your story? 1529 01:26:32,143 --> 01:26:35,277 I, uh... I had sex with a zombie. 1530 01:26:35,277 --> 01:26:37,844 [laughs] You had sex with a zombie, 1531 01:26:37,844 --> 01:26:39,455 you dirty dog. 1532 01:26:39,455 --> 01:26:41,500 No, she wasn'’t a zombie when I had sex, 1533 01:26:41,500 --> 01:26:43,502 she was still human, but obviously, 1534 01:26:43,502 --> 01:26:45,722 -she was infected and stuff. -Yeah, yeah, of course. 1535 01:26:45,722 --> 01:26:48,028 Well, what, was she a girlfriend, or? 1536 01:26:48,028 --> 01:26:50,901 No, I wish. 1537 01:26:50,901 --> 01:26:53,208 She was my best mate'’s sister. 1538 01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:55,122 But I'’d always fancied her, so. 1539 01:26:55,122 --> 01:26:59,039 I'’ve got a-- actually, I can show you. 1540 01:26:59,039 --> 01:27:01,477 Nice. 1541 01:27:01,477 --> 01:27:03,174 [chuckles appreciatively] 1542 01:27:03,174 --> 01:27:06,308 That is one nice bottom, my friend. 1543 01:27:06,308 --> 01:27:08,266 Yeah, well, I mean, don'’t kid yourself, 1544 01:27:08,266 --> 01:27:11,400 she wanted it just as much as I did, so. 1545 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:14,577 Ah, what'’s the-- what'’s the point? 1546 01:27:14,577 --> 01:27:17,101 No point anymore. I didn'’t even have sex with her. 1547 01:27:17,101 --> 01:27:18,755 But you just said you did have sex with her. 1548 01:27:18,755 --> 01:27:21,714 Yeah, I know, but she wanted to, and... 1549 01:27:21,714 --> 01:27:25,327 [sighs] she took her top off, put her hand on my leg, 1550 01:27:25,327 --> 01:27:27,851 and that was it, it was-- it was all over, man. 1551 01:27:27,851 --> 01:27:30,245 I didn'’t-- I didn'’t even get the chance to take off my pants. 1552 01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:33,160 Ooh, ah, well, don'’t worry about it. 1553 01:27:33,160 --> 01:27:35,380 I mean, you know, it could happen to anyone. 1554 01:27:35,380 --> 01:27:36,860 Really, has it ever happened to you? 1555 01:27:36,860 --> 01:27:40,167 No. Not me. 1556 01:27:40,167 --> 01:27:42,561 [sighs] 1557 01:27:42,561 --> 01:27:45,260 So anyway, if you didn'’t have sex with her, 1558 01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,174 how come you'’re so sure you'’re gonna be infected? 1559 01:27:47,174 --> 01:27:48,785 Well, I bloody kissed her, didn'’t I? 1560 01:27:48,785 --> 01:27:51,135 It'’s all bodily fluids at the end of the day, so. 1561 01:27:51,135 --> 01:27:53,268 You haven'’t been reading the leaflets, have you, fella? 1562 01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:55,487 Here, look. 1563 01:27:55,487 --> 01:27:57,968 [upbeat tropical music on speakers] 1564 01:28:07,673 --> 01:28:10,372 -So I'’m not infected? -No, of course not. 1565 01:28:10,372 --> 01:28:11,982 Not from a bit of saliva swapping. 1566 01:28:11,982 --> 01:28:15,159 I thought everybody knew that. 1567 01:28:15,159 --> 01:28:18,336 I'’m not infected? 1568 01:28:18,336 --> 01:28:20,382 I'’m not infected! 1569 01:28:20,382 --> 01:28:22,688 I'’m not infected! Yes! 1570 01:28:25,169 --> 01:28:27,389 Fuck, I'’m not infected. 1571 01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:29,086 I'’m not infected, fuck! 1572 01:28:35,527 --> 01:28:36,659 [slurps] 1573 01:28:45,015 --> 01:28:46,973 [zombies growling] 1574 01:29:25,403 --> 01:29:27,405 You okay, Alex? 1575 01:29:27,405 --> 01:29:29,538 Yeah. I'’m okay. 1576 01:29:31,757 --> 01:29:34,499 Liz isn'’t. 1577 01:29:34,499 --> 01:29:37,459 Jim isn'’t. 1578 01:29:37,459 --> 01:29:38,895 I'’ve got no one left. 1579 01:29:38,895 --> 01:29:41,201 I'’m here. 1580 01:29:41,201 --> 01:29:44,161 Me and you back together? 1581 01:29:44,161 --> 01:29:47,730 Well it was Big Jim'’s dying wish, after all. 1582 01:29:47,730 --> 01:29:51,298 Things can'’t just go back to how they were, 1583 01:29:51,298 --> 01:29:53,039 not after everything that'’s happened. 1584 01:29:53,039 --> 01:29:55,868 But everything that'’s happened has made me realize 1585 01:29:55,868 --> 01:29:57,653 how much I care about you. 1586 01:29:57,653 --> 01:30:01,483 I know, and I care about you, too. 1587 01:30:01,483 --> 01:30:04,007 But things have changed. 1588 01:30:04,007 --> 01:30:06,923 I'’ve changed. We all have. 1589 01:30:10,317 --> 01:30:14,104 Look, Alex, what I'’m saying is, 1590 01:30:14,104 --> 01:30:17,063 I'’m glad you came to save me. 1591 01:30:17,063 --> 01:30:18,891 Even if, you know, it was actually me 1592 01:30:18,891 --> 01:30:20,676 that saved you in the end. 1593 01:30:20,676 --> 01:30:23,374 Well, it'’s the thought that counts, right? 1594 01:30:23,374 --> 01:30:26,377 Yeah, I suppose it is. 1595 01:30:26,377 --> 01:30:28,510 So, yeah. 1596 01:30:28,510 --> 01:30:33,776 When we get home, we can give it another go. 1597 01:30:33,776 --> 01:30:37,257 But if you fuck up again, I'’ll stab you in the ear, right? 1598 01:30:37,257 --> 01:30:38,781 Right. [chuckles] 1599 01:30:38,781 --> 01:30:40,391 Right. 1600 01:30:40,391 --> 01:30:42,349 [Karl] Oh, how terribly sweet. 1601 01:30:45,483 --> 01:30:48,094 Oh, look, a steps reunion. 1602 01:30:48,094 --> 01:30:50,619 So... 1603 01:30:50,619 --> 01:30:56,189 which one of you meddlesome kids has the key to my boat, hmm? 1604 01:30:59,018 --> 01:31:00,759 Or is it you? 1605 01:31:00,759 --> 01:31:03,893 You skanky street dog. 1606 01:31:03,893 --> 01:31:07,418 Fuck you [speaking Portuguese] 1607 01:31:11,814 --> 01:31:14,773 -Bitch! Oh, charming. 1608 01:31:14,773 --> 01:31:18,647 How about you? You little cock tease. 1609 01:31:20,518 --> 01:31:21,954 Have you got my keys? 1610 01:31:21,954 --> 01:31:26,568 If we give you the keys, will you let us go? 1611 01:31:26,568 --> 01:31:29,527 What'’s say I let you have my speedboat. 1612 01:31:29,527 --> 01:31:31,573 Hmm? 1613 01:31:31,573 --> 01:31:34,053 And you can take your chances with the sharks. 1614 01:31:34,053 --> 01:31:36,578 -The sharks? -Yes, you see, 1615 01:31:36,578 --> 01:31:38,405 they don'’t normally come this close to shore, 1616 01:31:38,405 --> 01:31:41,539 but right now the sea'’s full of walking corpses. 1617 01:31:41,539 --> 01:31:44,673 Anyway, enough of this chitchat. 1618 01:31:44,673 --> 01:31:46,892 No, don'’t shoot her, please. 1619 01:31:46,892 --> 01:31:49,286 -No! -Here, take your keys. 1620 01:31:51,331 --> 01:31:53,203 Thanks, cupcake. 1621 01:31:53,203 --> 01:31:56,467 Now, why don'’t you all form a queue or something. 1622 01:31:56,467 --> 01:31:59,601 -It'’ll make you easier to shoot. -You said you'’d let us go. 1623 01:31:59,601 --> 01:32:04,301 Well, I say a lot of things, sunbeam. [chuckles] 1624 01:32:04,301 --> 01:32:08,087 Did you really think I was gonna let you have my speedboat? 1625 01:32:08,087 --> 01:32:10,916 Just a second. Who the fuck are you? 1626 01:32:12,918 --> 01:32:14,790 Some cheap champagne? 1627 01:32:14,790 --> 01:32:17,967 Yeah, talking of cheap. 1628 01:32:17,967 --> 01:32:20,056 Go and join your friends. 1629 01:32:26,062 --> 01:32:27,890 Now, right. 1630 01:32:30,153 --> 01:32:32,721 This-- this is gonna be fun. 1631 01:32:47,736 --> 01:32:51,478 [Ellie and Alex laughs] 1632 01:33:08,278 --> 01:33:09,975 [Ellie laughs] 1633 01:33:24,294 --> 01:33:26,992 [hisses] 1634 01:33:26,992 --> 01:33:30,605 [radio DJ] Big shout out to everyone in Ibiza... 1635 01:33:30,605 --> 01:33:34,565 [Rupert] You, Kenan and Kel with the three bars, you call. 1636 01:33:34,565 --> 01:33:37,046 Right, that is both offensive 1637 01:33:37,046 --> 01:33:39,962 and quite possibly racist and-- 1638 01:33:39,962 --> 01:33:42,355 but given the predicament we find ourselves in, 1639 01:33:42,355 --> 01:33:43,922 I'’m not gonna retaliate and say that I think 1640 01:33:43,922 --> 01:33:45,184 you look like one of the Thunderbirds 1641 01:33:45,184 --> 01:33:46,969 with your long head or anything, 1642 01:33:46,969 --> 01:33:50,015 I'’m just gonna go ahead and call an ambulance. 1643 01:33:50,015 --> 01:33:52,148 [Zara speaking indistinctly 1644 01:33:55,238 --> 01:33:57,022 Uh, did me and Alex not mention 1645 01:33:57,022 --> 01:33:59,459 that we were at a nightclub that turned into a-- 1646 01:33:59,459 --> 01:34:02,201 [laughter] 1647 01:34:02,201 --> 01:34:04,377 [man] Rubbish! Absolutely rubbish. 1648 01:34:06,815 --> 01:34:09,034 You'’ll have to go through me first. 1649 01:34:09,034 --> 01:34:13,169 Oh, don'’t worry, I was planning to. 1650 01:34:13,169 --> 01:34:15,693 Do you mean in a gay way? 1651 01:34:15,693 --> 01:34:17,477 Yes, I do. 1652 01:34:17,477 --> 01:34:19,044 -[laughter] -Cut. 1653 01:34:19,044 --> 01:34:21,699 I know what you'’re thinking-- but, Jim, 1654 01:34:21,699 --> 01:34:23,658 I thought you were a player and I didn'’t know you wanted 1655 01:34:23,658 --> 01:34:25,529 to get tied down to just one bitch, 1656 01:34:25,529 --> 01:34:27,531 and, yes, ordinarily, you'’d be right. 1657 01:34:27,531 --> 01:34:29,054 Normally what I'’d do is, 1658 01:34:29,054 --> 01:34:31,578 I'’d fuck both of you simultaneously. 1659 01:34:31,578 --> 01:34:33,755 You on a Monday, her on a Tuesday. 1660 01:34:33,755 --> 01:34:35,713 Back to your-- [laughs]. Sorry! 1661 01:34:35,713 --> 01:34:38,455 [laughter] 1662 01:34:40,805 --> 01:34:44,635 Alex, mate, uh, this is it, I mean, 1663 01:34:44,635 --> 01:34:46,724 It'’s been a long and winding road. 1664 01:34:46,724 --> 01:34:48,378 We'’ve had some good times, some bad times, 1665 01:34:48,378 --> 01:34:50,032 and just ran out of steam on the home stretch 1666 01:34:50,032 --> 01:34:52,643 you know, like the bobsled in Cool Runnings. 1667 01:34:52,643 --> 01:34:54,514 The bolt came loose, and we lost to the Germans 1668 01:34:54,514 --> 01:34:58,170 just when we thought we'’d win, but it'’s been good, man. 1669 01:34:58,170 --> 01:35:00,477 -[Alex] You'’re serious? -Yeah. 1670 01:35:00,477 --> 01:35:02,522 [Alex] Well, don'’t you want us to kill you 1671 01:35:02,522 --> 01:35:04,394 before you turn into a zombie? 1672 01:35:04,394 --> 01:35:07,266 No, you wouldn'’t be able to. You wouldn'’t be able to. 1673 01:35:07,266 --> 01:35:09,573 [Alex] Right. Okay, mate. 1674 01:35:09,573 --> 01:35:11,314 Cheers. 1675 01:35:11,314 --> 01:35:12,924 Fuck this. 1676 01:35:12,924 --> 01:35:14,447 [man] Right, and we cut. 1677 01:35:14,447 --> 01:35:15,622 [dance music playing] 1678 01:35:15,622 --> 01:35:19,235 ♪ Come and take a ride 1679 01:35:19,235 --> 01:35:21,237 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 1680 01:35:21,237 --> 01:35:23,108 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, 1681 01:35:23,108 --> 01:35:28,897 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, o-h-h-h 1682 01:35:32,248 --> 01:35:35,294 ♪ So come on party with somebody, hell, yeah ♪ 1683 01:35:35,294 --> 01:35:38,820 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1684 01:35:38,820 --> 01:35:43,041 ♪ Ah, so come on party with this body, hell, yeah ♪ 1685 01:35:43,041 --> 01:35:45,261 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1686 01:35:45,261 --> 01:35:47,785 ♪ It'’s the end of the world ♪ 1687 01:35:47,785 --> 01:35:50,875 ♪ So come on party with somebody, hell, yeah ♪ 1688 01:35:50,875 --> 01:35:54,444 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1689 01:35:54,444 --> 01:35:58,709 ♪ Ah, so come party with this body, hell, yeah ♪ 1690 01:35:58,709 --> 01:36:00,798 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1691 01:36:00,798 --> 01:36:03,148 ♪ It'’s the end of the world ♪ 1692 01:36:34,571 --> 01:36:37,748 ♪ So come on party with somebody, hell, yeah ♪ 1693 01:36:37,748 --> 01:36:41,273 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1694 01:36:41,273 --> 01:36:45,538 ♪ Ah, so come on party with this body, hell, yeah ♪ 1695 01:36:45,538 --> 01:36:47,584 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1696 01:36:47,584 --> 01:36:50,369 ♪ It'’s the end of the world ♪ 1697 01:36:50,369 --> 01:36:53,285 ♪ So come on party with somebody, hell, yeah ♪ 1698 01:36:53,285 --> 01:36:56,854 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1699 01:36:56,854 --> 01:37:01,163 ♪ Ah, so come on party with this body, hell, yeah ♪ 1700 01:37:01,163 --> 01:37:03,121 ♪ Like it'’s the end of the world ♪ 1701 01:37:03,121 --> 01:37:05,689 ♪ It'’s the end of the world ♪ 1702 01:37:11,608 --> 01:37:13,828 [dance music playing]