1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,172
Previously on
The Last Man on Earth...
Who the hell are you?

2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,074
I'm an astronaut.
I-I just came from space.

3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,642
Were you exposed to the virus?!
No, no, I promise!

4
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,045
Pat Brown, last man on Earth.

5
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,315
Should've stayed
in the truck, bud.

6
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,317
Holy... farts.

7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,219
Carol.
You're pregnant.

8
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,254
I'm pregnant! (laughs)
(squeals)

9
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,090
(coughing)
MELISSA: He has to go.

10
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,524
Maybe I should
just go away for a while.

11
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,563
GAIL: Carol, Tandy,
come look at this.

12
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:30,698
TANDY:
Oh, dear God.

13
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,866
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

14
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,903
Oh, farts.

15
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,572
These guys do not
look friendly.

16
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,408
Maybe they just
need directions.

17
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,542
Hells bells, Carol!

18
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,244
They don't need
damn directions!

19
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,612
Okay, everyone
just calm down!

20
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,914
Okay? There's no need
to freak out.

21
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,084
Oh, crap. Run, run, run, run!

22
00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:51,719
Run, run, run! Go!
(all screaming)

23
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:52,720
Go, go!

24
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,388
(screams)

25
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,224
Carol, what's happening?

26
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,592
There's some spooky people here
with possibly dark intentions.

27
00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,927
W-Well, let me out.

28
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,063
Have you learned your lesson
about not using firearms?

29
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,398
Yes. Yes, yes, yes!
Okay!

30
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,599
Firearms are
not the answer.

31
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:06,967
I stand by that.

32
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,936
Okay, we got to go.

33
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,638
Melissa, where are you going?

34
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,308
Melissa!

35
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,444
(groans)

36
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,147
Oh, crap,
we're blocked in!

37
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,581
Who was driving
the A-Team van?

38
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Ah, man, my bad!

39
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,152
Okay, well, where...
do you have the keys?

40
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,886
No.
What?!

41
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,755
Oh, my goodness,
I think I left them inside!
(screams)

42
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:31,759
Okay, guys, the key is attached
to a small plastic Mr. T.

43
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It is just the
classic "T" look,

44
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Mohawk, muscles,

45
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lots of gold chains.

46
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If you press him,

47
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,733
it says, you know,
"I pity the fool."

48
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:40,968
We get it, Todd!

49
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,570
I'm not finding it.
It's not here!

50
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,504
They're coming up the path!

51
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,038
Everybody, grab a weapon!

52
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,449
Throats and balls!

53
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,984
Aim at throats and balls!

54
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A-And eyes!

55
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,253
And, uh, uh, butts!

56
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J-Just aim at anything!

57
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Shh!

58
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,225
(whispers):
They're here.

59
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,064
*

60
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(whispering):
There it is.

61
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,829
Mr. T.

62
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MR. T KEY CHAIN:
I pity the fool.

63
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Damn it.

64
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Shh.

65
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Peekaboo.

66
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(Todd and Gail screaming)

67
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,850
(all shouting)

68
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:03,884
(all screaming)

69
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:04,885
All right, easy!

70
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,887
Easy, take it easy!
Put 'em down!

71
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,257
(overlapping shouting
and screaming)

72
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,691
Put it down!
Put that down!

73
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:11,692
Hey!

74
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I'll shoot. I'm serious.

75
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She will!
She loves guns!

76
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,566
Drop it, blondie.
You drop it!

77
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,867
TANDY:
Melissa, watch out!

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(all scream)

79
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Oh!

80
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Stop! Don't shoot!

81
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Don't shoot!
Don't shoot me!

82
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Oh, God. Darrell!

83
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Can you hear me?

84
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(groans)

85
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We weren't gonna shoot you.

86
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We come in peace.

87
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We come in... peace.

88
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Stay with me, Darrell.

89
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You're gonna pull
through this, buddy!

90
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Stay with me!

91
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(sighs)

92
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He's gone.

93
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* And we can build
this dream together *

94
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* Standing strong forever

95
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* Nothing's gonna stop us now

96
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,461
* And in this world
of distant lovers *

97
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,830
* We'll still have each other

98
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,566
* Nothing's gonna stop us

99
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,601
* Nothing's
gonna stop us *

100
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* Now

101
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,272
* Ooh, woo-ooh, ooh

102
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:36,176
* Yeah

103
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:41,315
* Nothing's gonna stop us!

104
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,854
So, after the
Northwest Passage,

105
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,456
I ran into Darrell
and Lewis here,

106
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,458
and we set sail
for Hawaii.

107
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,593
And then we were
just passing by Malibu,

108
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,828
and damn if we didn't see
your lights.

109
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,298
Well, we just feel so bad
about murdering your friend.

110
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,300
Just sick about it.

111
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,336
Oh, well, we barely
knew that guy.

112
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,872
It's just a horrible
misunderstanding.

113
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,276
So, Lewis, um, what did you do
before all this?

114
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,544
I was a surgeon.

115
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,012
Oh! That's amazing.

116
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,313
Carol and I,
we're pregnant, so...

117
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LEWIS:
No, no, no.

118
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For trees. A tree surgeon.

119
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:17,785
More of an arborist.

120
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,986
Ooh.
(laughs)

121
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,154
That's too bad.

122
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,023
How about you,
Blue Man Group?

123
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,493
Purveyor of ice cream.

124
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Brief incarcerant.

125
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,229
Jean art enthusiast.

126
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,998
Wait, uh, jean art?

127
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,332
Uh, like what it sounds.

128
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,301
Art on jeans.

129
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,537
You give me a pair of 501s
and a Sharpie,

130
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,539
and I can make them sing
like a Doobie Brother.

131
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,040
Well, that sounds fun.
(chuckles)

132
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,843
What's up with the suit?

133
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,478
Well, I never take it off
on land.

134
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,480
I-It's... that's just
what the government wants,

135
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:47,848
to fill me with virus.

136
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,916
Right, Lewis?

137
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,886
So I stay out
on the water.

138
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,256
But it gets kind of
lonely out there.

139
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,825
No family.

140
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,260
No friends.

141
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,929
I don't know if you know
how blessed you are

142
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,397
to have found each other.

143
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,865
Oh, I think we do,

144
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,834
and it's all because
of Tandy here.

145
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,702
He brought us together.
PAT:
Really?

146
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,604
You're lucky to have
a leader like that.

147
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:13,741
Well, I wouldn't say,
uh, I mean... leader?

148
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:14,908
(laughs)

149
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:15,909
Thank you, Pat.

150
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,945
PAT:
You know, I know...

151
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:21,014
I know we got off to an awkward
start, but is-is there

152
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:24,251
any way that you guys would
consider letting us

153
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,253
stay around for a spell?
Or one of us.

154
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,455
We're not a package deal.

155
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,490
We're easy, so, uh...

156
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,293
Uh... c-could
you excuse us

157
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,362
while we discuss
your fate?

158
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,264
Well, of course.
Sure.

159
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,901
They seem like pretty
good guys, right?

160
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:41,902
GAIL:
Okay.

161
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,071
I'm just gonna come
right out and say it:

162
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,138
Pat sucks.

163
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,807
Yeah, he's mad as a cut snake.

164
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,476
Just a full-blown poddy-dodger.

165
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,544
Ah, he's not
a poddy-dodger.

166
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,446
Well, I like
Lewis's energy.

167
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,714
There we go, Carol.

168
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,315
But Pat, yeah, I mean,

169
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,818
he just seems like
a real bad news Barry.

170
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:58,886
I'll give them the news.

171
00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,953
Hey, guys...
(shotgun pumps)

172
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:00,954
TANDY: No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.

173
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,389
Okay, so they didn't make

174
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,924
a great first impression,
but look at me.

175
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,392
I mean, when I
first met Carol,

176
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,994
I was such a mess,
she pulled a gun on me.

177
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,228
Oh, it's true.

178
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,897
You know, it took me
a while to realize

179
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,965
that Tandy wasn't
a dangerous lunatic,

180
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,968
but in fact
the man of my dreams.

181
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,436
TANDY:
See?

182
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,238
Now, why can't
we just treat them

183
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,640
like we treated
each other?

184
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,008
GAIL:
God, Tandy,

185
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,844
why do you have such a tent
in your shorts about these guys?

186
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,079
That's collected
fabric, Gail.

187
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,248
Yeah, that's fabric.
God.

188
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,750
Look...

189
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,685
they're lonely, they're scared,

190
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,354
and remember, we were the ones
who shot their friend.

191
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,458
TANDY:
Hey, guys.

192
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,530
Look, I'm really sorry
about this, but, uh...

193
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,032
how would you like to stay?

194
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,534
Are you serious?

195
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,368
No, my name's Tandy.

196
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,103
Why, did someone tell you
my name was "Serious"?

197
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,171
Boom.

198
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,707
(laughs)

199
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,610
(laughs)

200
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,212
You're not gonna regret this.

201
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,649
I know we won't.

202
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,452
The house is just
right up the path here.

203
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,887
(chuckles)
What am I saying?

204
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,790
You know where it is;
you stormed it earlier.

205
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,692
I'm just trying to catch
my breath a little, you know.

206
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,726
We'll be right up.

207
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:20,400
Look, this could be
a really good thing for us.

208
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,536
Like a fresh start,
if you know what I mean.

209
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,004
Yes, Pat, yes.

210
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,005
I mean, we both

211
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,306
have our secrets,

212
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,341
and it's gonna stay that way,
capisce?

213
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,078
I don't really have
any secrets, Pat. I...

214
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,080
Fresh start.

215
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,215
I understand, Pat.

216
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,851
Fresh... start.

217
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,688
Hey, you guys
coming up or what?

218
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,189
Yeah, sure thing,
ding-a-ling.

219
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,423
TANDY (laughs):
Ding-a-ling.

220
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,425
Hey, how about we, uh,
ink up some jeans?

221
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,994
I'd love it.

222
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:47,995
Ding-a-ling.

223
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,062
(laughs)

224
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:53,100
Fresh start.

225
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,703
(whispers):
Fresh start.

226
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,074
Man, I love this room.

227
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:04,612
Just seems like
the perfect place to masturbate.

228
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,880
That's exactly what it was
designed for, actually.

229
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,783
Oh, I... yeah, I'd do her,
I'd do her,

230
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,286
I'd do her, I'd do her, I'd...

231
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,455
well, I'd do anything
with two legs.

232
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,224
I ain't fussy.
Well?

233
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:20,694
Looking good,
Hollywood!

234
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:21,895
Wow!
Hey, Pat.

235
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,097
I'm being very sincere here:

236
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,366
these are frigging rad.

237
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,636
Thank you, Tandy.

238
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,804
So, uh, these leg designs--

239
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,205
walk me through them.

240
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:36,243
Well, it's just a general
breast theme with cobras.

241
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,478
So, it is
what it looks like, huh?

242
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:40,113
Well... amazing.

243
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,314
Oh.

244
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,316
(screams)
Don't sit down.

245
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,085
Those aren't sitting jeans.

246
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,987
Oh.

247
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,825
Uh, you know, I was
thinking, Tandy, uh...

248
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,461
maybe I'd do, like,
jeans for the whole group.

249
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,630
Pat, what a nice idea.

250
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,398
You know, I never
been good with people.

251
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,399
No.

252
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,768
No, really, I...
Really?

253
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,603
I get nervous around them
and I...

254
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:04,905
I spook them.

255
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,339
So...

256
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,409
I just that thought maybe
this could be a good icebreaker.

257
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,612
Hey, try great icebreaker, huh?

258
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:15,448
It's too bad the Titanic wasn't
made out of your jeans, huh?

259
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:16,483
(chuckles)

260
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,319
(laughs)
That's...

261
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,788
You know, I'm getting

262
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,190
a good vibe about you, Tandy.

263
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,624
Thanks, Pat.

264
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,960
I'm vibing you, too.

265
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,429
Hope your friends feel the same.

266
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:33,533
Hey, you just be yourself
and you'll do fine.

267
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,339
Care Bear, what are these?

268
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,541
Oh, yeah, could you
put those on for me?

269
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,210
They're eyebrows.

270
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,679
I've just been having
a devil of a time

271
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,881
tracking your emotional states,

272
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,217
you know,
since you balded yourself.

273
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,619
Is this really necessary?

274
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,523
They say that eyebrows are
the curtains to the windows

275
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:59,059
to the soul of your face.

276
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:03,063
Okay, well, if they say it,
I should probably do it, right?

277
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,799
You know, I'm so proud
of you for letting

278
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,667
Lewis and Pat stay.

279
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,502
That's very
"We Are the World" of you.

280
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,904
Thanks, Care Bear.

281
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,572
Although I'm still not sure
about that Lewis guy.

282
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,742
Pat though? Oh, he's great.

283
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,543
I mean, you know,
he's definitely a...

284
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:19,146
a rescue, might pee
on the carpet from time to time,

285
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,381
bark at a minority,
hump some legs.

286
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,650
But once we housebreak him,
oh, he's gonna be lickin' faces

287
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,018
and waggin' that tizzy.

288
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,553
Tail.

289
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,722
Are you sure?

290
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,657
Carol, look at me.

291
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,726
I got this.

292
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,428
You're flirting with me.

293
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,264
Oh.

294
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,166
PAT:
...animal faces,

295
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,869
inverted crosses, food...

296
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,370
What else I got here?

297
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:47,607
Protective Wiccan symbols,
a deck of cards, uh,

298
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,077
your angels, your demons,

299
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,444
the guy with the spiky hair

300
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,847
who pees off
the back of pickup trucks,

301
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,949
hatchets, rainbows.

302
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,518
You know, it's just
a small spattering

303
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,921
of what I could draw
on your jeans.

304
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,123
Got it.
O... kay.

305
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,861
You like hair?

306
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,030
What?

307
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,564
Hair. You like it?

308
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,200
On guys?

309
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,802
Hey-yo!

310
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,937
I see you're all soaking up
the sunshine that is Pat.

311
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,205
(both chuckle)

312
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,073
What happened to your face?

313
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,409
Yeah, your brows look insane.

314
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,778
You got a problem
with his brows? What?!
Okay!

315
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,780
Hey, hey!
Pat, Pat, Pat, no, no, no,
it's okay.

316
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:29,282
Whoa! Whoa!
It's okay, huh?
They're just razzin' me.

317
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,650
They're just having fun,
right, guys?

318
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,252
We're having fun,
all right?

319
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,586
I just didn't like
the way she said that.

320
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,822
TANDY:
Oh, yeah, yeah.

321
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,090
It's okay.
She didn't mean it, huh?

322
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,126
Huh?
Hey, why don't you and I go out

323
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,794
and blow off
a little steam, huh?

324
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,095
Would you like that, Pat?
Yeah.

325
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,330
Yeah, okay.
(laughs)

326
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,965
Good, let's go.

327
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,501
Whoa.

328
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,437
Think about your jeans.

329
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,506
'Cause... you know?

330
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,674
TANDY:
That was sweet of you.

331
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,109
PAT:
Where have you been all day?

332
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,644
GAIL:
All right, Lewis,

333
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,279
start talking.

334
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,948
What do you mean?

335
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,415
What's the deal
with Pat?

336
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,650
Oh, Pat?

337
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:04,918
(chuckles)

338
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:08,355
Pat is just a... fantastic...

339
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,689
constant, just...

340
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,258
endless source of...

341
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,860
(chuckles)

342
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,195
He's very fun. (laughs)

343
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,763
He doesn't seem fun.

344
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,266
No. He seems like
a solid gold nut.

345
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,500
LEWIS:
What?

346
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,202
Not my Pat, no.

347
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,803
Something's not
adding up here.

348
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,105
It's like a bi-corn.

349
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,506
"A bi-corn"?

350
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,441
A unicorn with two horns.

351
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,345
Well, this is totally, totally
unrelated, but, uh...

352
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,347
he's not, like,
around here, right?

353
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,983
Okay, damn it, Lewis,
cut to the chase.

354
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,785
What are we dealing with here?
He's crazy, right?

355
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:42,022
He's-he's... he's not just
crazy, he's-he's dangerous.

356
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,491
(whispers):
Like, he's seriously dangerous.

357
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,159
Wait, what are
you saying?

358
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,895
I'm saying,

359
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:51,764
I think you shot
the wrong person.

360
00:13:56,736 --> 00:14:00,573
And then, after being at sea
with him for a few days,

361
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,810
we realized this person
is severely unwell.

362
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,714
He told me that he killed
somebody a few weeks ago

363
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,182
'cause he was
going to alert

364
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,750
the bunker people
to his location.

365
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,153
Some kind of
government conspiracy.

366
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,521
(gasps) I knew it, I knew it!

367
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,256
He's a flippin' psycho.

368
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,558
Oh, my God, Tandy's with him.

369
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,792
Fire in the hole.

370
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:23,863
(both groan)

371
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,165
Damn!
Damn it.

372
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,902
Okay, let's try, uh, five
degrees to the right.

373
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:32,039
Pat, you are such a
breath of fresh air.

374
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,206
Thank you.

375
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,342
Been going through kind of a...

376
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,210
a tough time lately.
Oh, yeah?

377
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:40,047
I lost my brother
not too long ago.

378
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,214
Sorry to hear that.

379
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,682
He was the best.

380
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,851
Oh, man, I really
looked up to him.

381
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:49,189
He was the one who
should've survived, not me.

382
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,224
I miss him.

383
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,495
Fire in the hole!

384
00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,732
(both groan)

385
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:02,402
Okay, maybe a little
more to the left now.

386
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:06,106
You know,
I had a friend like that.

387
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,574
Really good fella.

388
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,843
We had a real good connection.

389
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,615
And then, forces beyond
my control just

390
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,484
took him away, just like that.

391
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,987
Oh, sorry to hear that.

392
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,955
What was your brother's name?

393
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,823
Mike.
Mike?

394
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,725
That's the name
of the fella I met.

395
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,927
(chuckles):
Yeah, pretty common name.

396
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:31,464
Well, here's to the Mikes.

397
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:32,932
To the Mikes.

398
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,168
Fire in the hole!

399
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,669
This one's looking good!

400
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,938
It's looking good.

401
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,976
(both laughing, cheering)

402
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,446
Hoo!
Yeah!

403
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,780
Well, you know
what they say,

404
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,983
"Pier today,
gone tomorrow."

405
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:50,984
Boom.

406
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,285
(laughs)

407
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,321
Tandy, that is
the most beautiful thing

408
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,955
I have ever seen.

409
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,058
It's called
friendship, Pat.

410
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,598
Gail, I am worried
about Melissa.

411
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,500
She's fine.

412
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,837
She murdered someone, and I
don't think she's processing it.

413
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,540
Melissa,

414
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,875
have you processed
your murder of Darrell?

415
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,144
Yeah.

416
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,478
See?

417
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,014
Good evening, Vietnam.

418
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,482
Tandy, where
have you been?

419
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,017
What, uh, Pat and I
just blew up

420
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,286
the Santa Monica Pier;
isn't that cool?

421
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,455
Tandy, look, there are some
things you don't know about Pat.

422
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,291
Well, there are some things
that you don't know about Pat.

423
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,359
He's very dangerous.

424
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,194
Yeah, Tandy, he
needs to leave.

425
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,795
Look, I know Pat's awkward.

426
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,330
Pat knows he's awkward.

427
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,998
But he's really trying.

428
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,134
And all he wants is
to be a part of this group.

429
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,935
It's not...
(Lewis clears throat)

430
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,507
Hope I'm not late for dinner.

431
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,742
Well, look at this.

432
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,978
Aren't you spiffy.

433
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,846
(chuckles):
Oh, that's funny.

434
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,649
But I thought my name was
not Spiffy, but rather Patrick.

435
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,650
Uh, boom.

436
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,752
Um...

437
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:04,157
I just...

438
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,193
I-I want to thank y'all

439
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,928
for opening
your hearts to me.

440
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:11,331
I-I would never have
had the courage

441
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,834
to take off that suit
if it weren't for your support.

442
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,403
And for the first time

443
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:21,374
in a long time,
I feel like I'm-I'm home.

444
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,975
You are, bud.

445
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,245
(chuckles softly)

446
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,247
Oh. I really hope
you all like jeans,

447
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,916
because I made custom
jobbies for each

448
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,618
and every one of you.

449
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,753
And, Gail...

450
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,054
these are for you.

451
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,296
(quietly):
Thank you.

452
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:46,133
Pat, you shouldn't have,
but you did.

453
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,635
I'm telling you,
it just feels so great

454
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,537
to be out of the
suit, you know?

455
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,938
And, I mean, and

456
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,606
touch things.

457
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,643
Like... couch.

458
00:17:58,678 --> 00:17:59,912
Lamp!

459
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,148
TANDY:
You walk around,

460
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,549
touch whatever you want.

461
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,117
'Cause you already
touched our hearts.

462
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,153
Gail.
Keep it moving.

463
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,423
Like...

464
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,591
chair.

465
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,493
(quietly):
Tandy, he killed someone.

466
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,428
Oh, is that what
this is about?
PAT: Book.

467
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:16,829
Huh? He killed someone?

468
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,166
Well, may I remind you,
you killed someone,

469
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,433
and you killed someone,

470
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,401
and you killed someone.

471
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,470
(gasps)
PAT:
Photograph.

472
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,971
CAROL: I can't believe
you would say that...

473
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,006
(Carol and Tandy
continue talking quietly)

474
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,910
PAT:
Mike.

475
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,079
(whispers):
It's completely different.

476
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,847
Oh, so we're just gonna
turn our backs on him?

477
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,849
I guess that's
our M.O., huh?

478
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,418
TODD: What are you
talking about, Tandy?

479
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,354
TANDY: This group has a history
of throwing people out

480
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:42,855
like trash
when we're done with them.

481
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,091
Or did you
conveniently forget

482
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,327
quarantining Mike,
driving Phil out?

483
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,962
Heck, you even tried
to kick me out, your leader!

484
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,199
Now, listen to me.

485
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,034
This is a good man, okay?

486
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,604
Yeah, does he try too hard
sometimes? Maybe.

487
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,339
At least he's out there
on the playing field,

488
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,208
instead of sitting
in the peanut gallery

489
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,210
playing judge,
jury and executioner.

490
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,878
PAT: Tandy!
And he's got a gun.

491
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,350
Nobody move!

492
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,819
Okay, P-Pat, Pat?

493
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,053
I'm not gonna move
that much further.

494
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,456
I just want to...
just want to talk.

495
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,225
Now, can I just ask Pat?

496
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,893
Can we have Patrick back?

497
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:23,496
I thought we were friends.
I thought I could trust you.

498
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,064
I am your friend!

499
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,533
Trust away!

500
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,835
You're a big fake.

501
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,704
You're as fake
as those stupid eyebrows.

502
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,972
Take 'em off.

503
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,674
No, no, please, please.

504
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:35,708
Take 'em off!

505
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,744
Okay, okay!
Help me out.

506
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,512
Where are the rest of 'em?

507
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:40,813
The rest of who?

508
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,582
The bunker people!

509
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:43,550
Here we go.

510
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,117
What the hell's
he talking about?

511
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,221
This.

512
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,523
Your Mike is my Mike.

513
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,592
The Mikes
have become one.

514
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,827
You lied!

515
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,530
So you could infect me
with the virus!

516
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,366
'K-Kay, man, calm down,
okay, man?

517
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,402
Oh, I'm calm.
I'm "cume" as a "calmcumber."

518
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:06,839
'Cause I know the path
is laid out before me now.

519
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,275
You're confused.

520
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:11,210
I thought my name was Pat.
Uh, boom.

521
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,211
(all scream)

522
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,513
No!

523
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,715
Please, please, please!

524
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,450
We're so sorry
that we upset you.

525
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,786
He's being sincere;
you just probably can't tell

526
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,354
'cause he has no eyebrows.

527
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,189
Head or heart?

528
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,458
What?

529
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,294
I want to know what you want me
to shoot first,

530
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,195
after I shoot your balls off.

531
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,431
Your head or your heart?

532
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,700
(high-pitched):
None of 'em.

533
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,734
Wrong answer.

534
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:35,968
(all scream, gun clicks empty)

535
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,203
Run!

536
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,705
(all screaming)

537
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,473
TANDY: Geez, Lewis,
thanks for giving us

538
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,375
a heads up about your friend!

539
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,243
TODD: Get in, get in!
I got the key!

540
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,946
I got the key!
KEY CHAIN: I pity the fool.
I pity the fool.

541
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:49,148
(engine starts)
TANDY: Go, go, go, go, go!

542
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,783
(all screaming)

543
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,085
(tires screech)
He's gonna shoot us!

544
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,291
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

545
00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,592
Oh, my God!

546
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,594
Oh, my God,
I think I killed him!

547
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,596
Oh, I think I killed him!

548
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,965
(all continue screaming)

549
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,497
CHILDREN:
Uncle Stinky.

550
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,998
(horn honking)

551
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:42,001
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH